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#don't ever call me loki again
nostalgia-tblr · 2 years
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Okay so going back to this post about whether or not Loki can actually be Lauffey's heir I *did* manage to think up a set of circumstances in which I would believe that a monarchy *might* be willing to infanticide a sole male heir and it was "what if he has no genitalia of any kind?" Because you can handle a useless king as long as he can produce his own male heirs so you'll get a fully-abled king *eventually* but if you take that away then *maybe* the slightly small child has no value. *Maybe.* So I was like okay, sure, perhaps Loki has no genitalia of any kind whatsoever. But then I remembered that whole "CGI Crotch" fiasco and the fact that there's at least one tumblr blog devoted to his... area. Oh no, the theory falls! Damn!
BUT WAIT! The audience has not in fact seen a dick, merely the *suggestion* of one. The implication. Which is easy enough to fake. And fakery is plausible, because vanity and trying to fit in and etc. So I think the options are: either that's a packer OR Loki is not in fact the heir to the kingdom of the Frost Giants. Choose whichever you feel most comfortable with. (I am open to other explanations of course - please! - but I think I may have cracked the mystery here and I am simultaneously proud and deeply ashamed.)
Now all that remains is the question of whether I am foolish enough to actually publish this post to tumblr.
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your-setting-lotion · 1 month
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"I can do....terrible things to you."
Pairing: agardian!reader x Loki
Warnings: profanity, PinV, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it), oral sex(f receiving), fingering, dirty talk, use of pet names (Prince, princess, pet, dearest, etc), Loki is a warning in itself, degradation, mocking, name calling (just once I think), choking (for a little while), just smut in general
Author's note: I just wanted to say this is my first ever written fic so have mercy on me. I just really wanted to use that sentence from the Loki series🤭It was also supposed to be shorter...it did not keep to that. I also wanted to say that with the word "undergarment" I do not mean modern day underwear. I mean undergarment as in from the 1700's (like depicted in the photo underneath this text). Don't ask me why I decided to do that, I don't know. I think I've just been watching too much Outlander these last few days. Alr I'll stop my rambling now. I hope everyone enjoys♡
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“Oh dear gods, another ball. How many of these are they going to organize?” Was my first thought when Thor asked me to go as his guest yet again the other day. I thought I wouldn’t be going.
And yet, here i am. Standing in a corner in the main hall of the majestic golden palace that the formerly mentioned prince calls home, with a glass of liquor in one hand and a small snack i grabbed from a faraway table in the other. Though i did want to support Thor in his victories of the week, that was not the true reason i came to another loud party.
“Quite the partygoer lately. Tell me, is it just because you enjoy being around obnoxiously drunk people or are you trying to charm my dear brother?"
And there it is. The infamous Loki Odinson, prince of Asgard, God of mischief and lies, to the irritation of many people. I know I wouldn't mind him getting mischievous at all though....
I eat the little one-bite snack in hopes of it distracting me from my thoughts, but to no avail.
Meanwhile, Loki keeps talking with a grin on his face and a sultry tone to his voice.
"If it is the latter, I suggest you stop, since he seems to have quite the interest in that other woman he's been eyeing all night."
I give him the best cocky look I can muster and answer back; "Thor does not have any interest in me and neither do I in him. He gets to ogle whoever he wishes, I thought you would know this, being his brother. Tell me, where is the sudden interest in your brother's love life coming from, dear prince."
"Oh please, a blind man would know he was shamelessly into her. Besides, how could I not be interested when my brother continuously invites the same woman to his... Celebrations."
He ogles me suspiciously, as if he doesn't believe I wasn't interested in that loveable blonde buffoon. I myself have a different type of God in mind. I opt to try and change his mind.
"Thor and I are friends. Why are you so interested in this?"
He hums dismissively and ogles the ongoing party.
"No interest in dancing?" he changes the subject.
"No, this dress is not a dancing type dress. Too tight and heavy. I should've opted for another, but it's too late now." he looked my dress up and down as I spoke, seemingly uninterested, though his tone of voice said otherwise.
"Well, beauty over functionality, isn't it? Seems as if you've succeeded in that area, at least."
My stomach flips and the corners of my mouth lift up into a faint taunting smile as I look up at him. "You think I look beautiful?"
He looks back at me, a faint trace of surprise tainting his expression. "Well yes, I wouldn't have said what i did if I did not think it. When have I ever been known to lie about my opinions, dearest?"
My mind jumps at the mention of the pet name and the compliment paired with it and although I tried to hide my surprise, the faint smirk on the God's face tells me enough. Nevertheless, I look at him with a playful light in my voice.
"Well, you are the god of lies. I would expect you to live up to this Title, as you do your other titles."
"Ah, and what titles are these, pray tell?" he asks as he looks at me with disdain, as if I offended him.
"Those of you being the god of mischief, as well as a relentless trickster. Though people say you usually can't do much harm." I chuckle at Sif's offensive words towards the prince of Asgard.
He chuckles with me, though I suspect because of something else, because his expression had turned darker, his gaze falling on mine again.
"Well, I assure you that I can do... Terrible things to you and anybody I wish."
He says in a low, dark voice, his unrelenting gaze catching the widening of my eyes and the heaving of my chest at his threatening words. Although his words do anything but scare me.
Is that a promise? I think to myself, my mind running wild with the different context his words could be said in.
He grins at me, still not letting his eyes wander from mine. "Do you want it to be?" he suddenly asks.
"What?" I manage to spurt out, shock and excitement having taken over my mind.
"Do you want it to be a promise?" he repeats his question with that same dark, knowing smile on his face.
Did I say that out loud? I'm certain I didn't.
"No, you didn't." he answers my thoughts once again and fear and embarrasment seep into my bones as I realize how he had known.
"How long have you been reading my mind?" I ask him with a shaky voice. He chuckles again, knowing he has the upper hand now. He drops his gaze to his shoulder gently touching mine. When did that happen?
"While you were inquiring why I was so interested in my brother's 'love life' as you put it."
Oh. My. Gods. He had seen and heard every single thing I had been thinking. How embarrassing. I wanted to dig a hole to Hel and stay there until I had melted into the fires forever.
"That's a bit dramatic." he tells me. I move away from him with a scowl, taking care that we didn't touch anymore so he couldn't read my mind any longer, but he already knew all of it. He had heard all my lewd thoughts about him and he thought it funny.
He still has that annoyingly handsome smirk plastered on his face as he gestures for us to move away from the busy crowd and into the halls that lead to various rooms. I decide to follow him. All the harm that could be done had already been done, so why not? He knew it all now. He is silent as we walk through the halls, muffled music still being heard from the party.
"You know, I would expect you to say something...." I trail off as he stops walking and opens a door we arrived at. He gestures for me to enter the room.
It is a lavishly elegant room, accents of gold layered the cream colored walls, a nightstand with multiple drawers and a bed with silky sheets line the left wall, while the other side of the room is dedicated to a roaring fireplace and two lounge couches in the same shade of green as the silk sheets on the bed. In the middle of the wall I am facing, there is a lavish balcony that had a beautiful view towards Asgard. Loki walks towards the bed and sits down on the golden bench in front of it.
I stay by the door, looking at him expectantly, hoping he would clear up the fact that we just entered (what I presumed is) his room without a word being said. He sighs and finally opens his mouth.
"Yes, you're right. I should say something." he pauses for a moment, looking me up and down, though this time not in a rude manner. No, this time it felt more like... Admiration. The God of Mischief and Lies is looking at me with admiration.
"You're a beautiful woman. I must say, I had my eye on you ever since you entered this castle for the first time. Though I thought my brother had claimed you for his own, due to him always inviting you to these gatherings. When you told me this wasn't the case, I decided to see if you were being truthfull or not. I must admit, it was an invasion of your privacy, but I do not regret it one bit."
He gestures for me to join him and sit next to him. I oblige and walked over to him, opting to stand due to the uncomfortability of my dress. He notices this and looked down with a smile gracing his lips.
"So yes, what I said is true. You are beautiful, though this dress could never do you justice. Plus, you seem incredibly uncomfortable in it."
I scoff at his words. "What, are you going to offer to take it off of me? I've heard that line a thousand times, it is not original. Besides, I very well think this dress makes me look exquisite. Why else would I wear it?"
"I did not say you didn't look beautiful in the dress. I am merely noting that it does not do you justice." he answers cockily
"And what would do me justice then, Prince?" I spit back at him, getting a little annoyed at his degrading tone, making my mind wander to unholy places once more.
His low chuckle echoes in my ears. Gods, that chuckle. It's so... Seductive.
"Won't tell, princess." the pet name surprises me. Sure, I had called him Prince, but he is a genuine Prince. I feigned nonchalance.
"Ah, there it is. Let me guess, you'd have to take off my dress to show me?" his playful expression turns into one of ice, filled with lust and seduction. It was a thrilling sight to see.
"You'd let me." he said, with full confidence, because he knew it was true. I didn't need to answer him as he stands and closes the small distance between us, making me look up because of his obnoxiously tall figure.
The playful twinkle in his eye had been replaced with something dark, possessive almost. My breath hitches in my throat as his hand ghosts up until it reached the dip of my waist, pulling me impossibly closer to him.
And I let him.
His gaze was ice cold as he inspected my entire face and figure again. Gods, I love it when he does that. He dips his head until I feel his breath near my ear.
"I know." he whispers into my ear. This asshole was reading my mind any time he could, but even if i could stop him, I don't think i would. He lifts his head to look at me again, this time a devillish smirk is playing at the corners of his mouth again.
Please kiss me already.
I beg to myself and I know he heard it. He finally dips his head down to my lips, I part them as I desperately await his kiss. He doesn't kiss me yet, though. He chuckles at my sigh of frustration, though it sounds more like a whine than I had intended.
His amused and torturous gaze lands on my desperate one. "What is it, pet?" he whispers against my lips. So close.... He knows exactly what he's doing. Of course he does. I'd waited so long, stayed up so many nights because of the thought of him being this close. Or closer....
My eyebrows furrowed at the thought of these nights and I know he saw. I know he knows exactly what I'm thinking, but I don't care. I want him. And I'll have him.
"Will you, now? Last I checked, I'm the Prince here. You are under my command, are you not?" he outright laughs at my attempt to kiss him, get him closer to me in any way. He moves away from me, opting to move towards one of the lavish Green couches on the other side of the room. He looks at me over his shoulder while he did so, plaguing me, teasing me with the distance he's creating.
I stare at my hands, nervously playing with my fingers whilst trying not to grieve the loss of his touch. His hand on my waist, His chest pressing against mine, his lips so close to mine... I hear him walking around for a bit while I'm still fidgeting with my fingers, not daring to look his way unless asked.
"Don't get shy now, pet. Look at me." I lift my head to see him sitting comfortably on the couch, his fine asgardian leather suddenly having been replaced with a pair of comfortable looking black lounge pants and... No shirt.
He's trying to get under my skin, I know it. But I don't care one bit as I let my gaze travel along the impressive muscle tone of the Prince, trailing from his shoulders to his chest, from his chest to his toned abs, from his abs to that perfect V-shape that's only disrupted by the thin fabric of his pants.
I let my eyes wander further up now, admiring the strong biceps and, Gods, those perfectly veiny arms. And finally those hands...i could stare at them all day, just the sight of them makes me almost want to drool.
He's so perfect. And he knows it as I finally meet his icy gaze and that same goddamn smirk that made my heart freeze and my hands tremble.
He knows it when he gestures for me to walk towards him and close the distance he so painstakingly created just a minute ago.
He knows it when he stands before me, pulling at the strong threads that were holding my dress together, making the first layer of my dress fall to the ground.
He knows it when he carefully unties my corset with gentle patience, unlacing it with his slender fingers and finally taking it off of me.
He knows it when I'm standing before him in my undergarment, looking me up and down, not with just hunger or lust, but with adoration and relief. The sheer fabric does nothing to hide my body, even showing off my nipples that had hardened due to the cold night air.
And gods, does he know it when he guides my arms to lay on his shoulders, peppering tender kisses onto every inch of skin he can find, pulling me closer and finally granting me the kiss I had been longing for ever since I had seen him for the first time.
His lips capture mine so perfectly in a dance of passion, not at all what I had expected from a God of mischief. I had expected something feral, completely driven by lust. Hel, I'm not sure I even expected him to outright kiss me. No, this exceeds all my expectations.
He carefully bites my lower lip, granting him entrance to lick inside my mouth and taste me, deepening the kiss. The feeling of excitement and arousal growing with every passing second.
He grinds himself into me, pulling me closer and closer. I can feel his cock getting hard through the fabric of his pants, making me clench my cunt around nothing. My hands roamed through his hair, not nearly as greasy as I had imagined, instead I am met with soft curls and a pretty sound coming from the Prince's lips as I tug at them.
He's everywhere. His arms around my waist, squeezing it tight and keeping me close to him. He overtowers me by far, and he has to lean down a distance even with me standing on my tiptoes to reach. His scent, his taste, his hands.
Gods, I need him. He breaks the kiss, but not without tugging at my bottom lip another time, a little rougher now, though.
His breath is steady, whereas mine is ragged and uncontrollable as he rests his forehead against mine, his lips still hovering so close to mine.
"I know, I need you too. You've no idea how long I've wanted you." he whispers, again answering my thoughts. I didn't mind this time, though. I want him to hear and see everything I am thinking. I want him to know what I want.
But that doesn't mean I'm not going to play first. He had been so gentle and loving and it feels so good to be worshipped, but that would have to wait for another time.
He lifts his head up to look at me. "What is it?" he asks, curiosity lacing his voice.
I smile at him, hoping it looks as seductive and entrancing as I want it to and take his hand, slowly guiding him towards the bed.
Upon reaching it, I lie down comfortably in the midst of the bed, tugging at him to do the same. He climbs on top of me, again ogling me with curiosity. This surprises me, if he was still reading my mind he would know what I am doing.
"Opting to not read my mind anymore?" I ask, with a smile.
"I thought it'd be more fun if I don't know exactly what you're going to do before you do it." he grins, seeing that this has pleased me. Now I can do what i want.
I tangle my hands in his hair again, watching his face as it contorts into a relaxed expression as I tug a bit at the strands again. I bring his lips to mine again, but this time, I want it to be different. I bite his lip roughly, making him open his mouth in surprise as I lick into him now, tasting berries and a tinge of alcohol on his tongue. I moan into his mouth at the taste and it seems he finally realized what I was trying to do. He kisses me back hungrily, seizing control again, much to my liking. He abruptly pulls away afterwards, much to my dismay.
He looks down at me with a knowing smirk on his face. "What's wrong, princess? Don't want me to be nice anymore? What do you want? Go on, say it. I know you know exactly what it is." he urges me on with a sultry tone to his words.
"Please...i want you to be mean to me."
"Really?" he feigns surprise, "whatever would you mean by that, darling?" he asks, starting to tease me by peppering kisses along my jaw.
"I want-" he shifts his body so he's lying perfectly on top of me. I can feel his cock rubbing against my clothed cunt and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Please just-" his kisses grow hungrier as he guides himself down to my neck. "Could you please be rough..." he bites down on my neck, emitting a gasp from me. I think that was his answer to my plea.
He is indeed rougher now, biting and suckling on the soft skin of my neck, gradually moving down... To my shoulder... To my collarbone... And then. The hem of my undergarment.
He looks at me while twirling his finger around the measly little thread. The only thing that's between him and my bare body. The only thing he'd have to loosen before slipping my last piece of clothing from me and leaving me bare. And that's exactly what he did.
He slowly, teasingly pulls at the thread and folds the fabric to the side, revealing my tits to him. He rips his eyes from mine and finally meets my bare chest, looking at it like a starved man would a plate of hot food.
He started where he left off, just below my collarbone he peppered kisses and bites again. Slow, agonizing, teasing movements until he finally reached my hardened nipple, waiting, aching for him.
He hungrily takes the sensitive bud into his mouth, suckling on it with rough movements, his hand coming up to cup my other boob roughly. I whine at the sensation, his tongue lavishly doing its job in pleasuring me.
After a while, he flashes me a devillish smile before moving onto the other nipple, suckling at the same pace, much to my relief as it is the perfect pace and he knows this.
I squirm underneath him, whining and moaning as he keeps suckling on my nipple, the sensation making me crave for more. I grind against his hard-on and I swear I heard a whimper coming from the Prince's mouth. He stills for a moment, his hands clawing at my hips to stop me from moving.
"Be patient, pet. Let me enjoy you." is all he says before continuing to suck on my tits, keeping me on edge and increasing my arousal a thousand fold while doing so.
His hands explored my body with rough motions. Grabbing my waist, squeezing it, fondling my tit. Finally he reaches my shoulders, his hands slide down the length of my arms and he grabs my hands before pulling his mouth off of my nipple.
He sits up straight and, while never breaking eye contact, brings my right hand up to his mouth and kisses it. A stark contrast to how he was sucking on my tits just a second ago, but not unwelcome. He kisses my wrist now, then my forearm, then my bicep, then my shoulder.
Then he switches his attention to my neck again, bruising and marking me, coaxing soft moans from me. There would be no way to cover up those spots, although I'm not sure I'd want to or if he would let me.
He continues his trail of kisses downwards again, this time dragging my undergarment down with him. He stopped for a moment to look at me again.
"Off." he gestures towards my undergarment. I obey and quickly slip off the feeble piece of fabric, discarding it on the floor next to his bed. Once I face him again, completely bare now, he looks at me with approval.
"Good girl." he whispers under his breath, but I heard. I smile at his words of praise as he looks me up and down hungrily. He leans down and, while maintaining eye contact, licked a stripe up my body from my hips to my chest.
I breathe out a moan at this scandalous action. He flashes me a cunning smile before biting my nipple gently, coaxing a surprised gasp from me. He continues biting and suckling on my skin, moving down... Down... Down. Until he reaches my thighs.
He wraps his hands around my knees and spread them apart as far as they'll go, slowly and teasingly he leans down again. He starts kissing my thigh, occasionally softly biting down to coax an unexpected whimper from me.
He finally inches closer to where I need him the most. He looks at my pussy with hunger in his eyes, licking his lips and looking up at me. He softly blows on it, making me moan from the sensation. I grab ahold of his locks again, hoping to be able to push him down and just make him have me already, but he doesn't let me.
"Impatient now, are we? I can certainly tell with how wet you are. Is this all for me, pet?" he asks me as his hands caress my thighs. I don't know how to answer him, so I just whine and buck my hips towards him, hoping that he gets the message.
He chuckles at my desperate attempts at seeking his tongue. "Please..." I beg, feeling nothing but longing for the god in between my legs in this moment. He sighs before demanding; "please what?"
"Please just take me already, Loki." I answer him in an annoyed tone, but before I can release a huff of annoyance, he licks a stripe from my hole to my clit. I moan languidly at the unexpected move.
"Is this what you wanted?" he asks teasingly.
"Yes, Gods, yes." I sigh, throwing my head back.
He chuckles at my pathetic tone and starts lapping up the arousal that had been gathering all evening. He moans at the taste, reveling in it as he flicks his tongue over my clit.
His movements have me keening and bucking my hips as he fucks his tongue into me. People said he had a cunning tongue to him(although probably not in this context) and they were right. Gods, does he know how to eat a woman out.
His tongue laps at me at just the right pace, fucking in and out of my cunt, softly suckling on my clit. He brought his hand up to cup my tit as he did so, overwhelming my senses and making me grab onto his hair. This coaxed another moan out of him, sending vibrations throughout my body.
I can feel the coil in my stomach beginning to tighten. I'm close and he knows it, because he suddenly changes his original pace to a slower one, making me whine.
"Loki.... Don't be mean." I tell him.
He stops his movements altogether now, looking up at me with a cocky grin. "What's the matter, princess?" he feigns pity.
"You know exactly what, i was close." I huff, sexual frustration coaxing through my whole body.
He laughs at my attitude. "You don't get to decided when you cum, pet. I do. You are under my command now and what I say goes." he answers in a dark, possessive tone of voice.
His words make my stomach flip and my pussy clench around nothing. He's so attractive, I can't help it. He knows it, noting my reaction to his words. He lifts his head from between my thighs and climbs back on top of me, his face right in front of mine. I can't help but admire him, especially from this angle. His hair framing his face, his eyes piercing my own, his lips... In that sadistic smile.
"What? Do you like it when i control you? Do you want to be my toy, hm?" he whispers, looking me right in the eyes, never letting go of my gaze. He catches the widening of my pupils, the quickening pace of my breath, the desperation in my eyes. No, he doesn't need to read my mind to know how i feel.
He leans down, brushing his lips over mine. I try to catch his lips with mine, but he doesn't let me. He's teasing me again. I whine as he laughs at me.
He laughs at me. How dare he, when i want him so bad and I know he wants me too. How dare he, when he knows how desperate I am for his touch. How dare he, when I'm lying naked underneath him and he is denying me what I want.
"What is it? Annoyed? What do you want, princess?" he asked me tauntingly.
I lift up my hand to caress him. I let my hand slide higher up the back of his neck, having my fingers intertwine with his locks and pulling him down by them until my lips are right next to his ear. He lets me.
I lick at his earlobe experimentally and a soft moan comes from the God's lips that I enjoyed a little too much. I took his earlobe in my mouth and sucked on it a few times, making Loki melt on top of me.
I stop only to whisper in his ear; "I want you to fuck me." his entire demeanor changes as he looks me in the eyes. I'm suddenly hyper aware of my naked body and his hard length pushing against my thigh through his pants. The thought of him fucking me with it makes a pleasurable shiver run up my spine.
He flashes me a cunning smile and gets off the bed, leaving me cold and naked. His gaze scans over me while he takes off his lounge pants. My eyes land on his now bare cock, the sight making my mouth water and my pussy clench.
Gods, it looks delicious. I wouldn't mind having a taste of it. It's long yet still girthy and I'm suddenly nervous about the sheer size of it. He looks at me knowingly before finally getting on the bed again and on top of me. He settles in between my legs to admire me again.
"Turn around, pet." he commands. I do as he says and turn around, keeping myself upright with my knees and having my arms stretched out in front of me. He lets his hand travel the flesh of my thighs, the curve of my ass, the dip of my waist.
I can hear the sheets ruffling and I'm about to look behind me to see what he was doing, before I feel his tongue on my cunt again. I moan at the unexpected feeling. He laps at my pussy for a bit, drinking my arousal like it's his favorite beverage. He lets go of my waist and I feel his finger spreading my lips apart.
"So wet all for me. Look at that, pet. You're throbbing." fuck, and I can feel it as he uses his finger to spread my arousal through my pussy lips. The friction has me bucking my hips when i suddenly feel his finger probing at my entrance.
He pushes his slender finger inside of me, making me moan out his name. He curls his finger, making it hit that spongy spot inside of me. Gods, he's making me go feral. He pulls out his finger now, but before I can whine at the loss, he enters two fingers inside me.
He pumps his fingers in and out for a bit, but then switches to scissoring them inside my cunt, making me almost squeal in pleasure. He begins to lick at my clit again. The feeling of him sucking at the sensitive bud and scissoring his finger inside of me has me keening and the coil in my stomach quickly tightening.
My pussy clamps down on his fingers and he knows I'm about to cum. He suddenly stops all his movements, keeping his fingers inside my cunt, making me whine and mewl at my failed orgasm.
"Stop your whining. Didn't I tell you? I decide when you cum and I won't let you cum unless it's on my cock, do you understand?" I whine at his words, my mind being too far gone to string together coherent sentences to answer him.
"So pathetic for me. Look at you, lying there with your ass up just for me. And you like it, don't you?" I whine in response. "Of course you do, you're mine now. I'll do anything I want to you and you'll let me." he proves his point by spreading apart my ass cheeks and licking a stripe from my clit to my ass. I moan at the sensation.
"Do you want me to fuck you? Hm? Do you want me to make you mine?" he splays his hand down on my scalp, scratching it with his fingernails before tightly grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling me up against his chest.
"Yes! Yes, please, make me yours. Please, Loki." I beg pathetically, but I don't care. I want him to fuck me already and I'll say anything to make it so.
He harshly throws me down on the bed again, shoving my face into the pillow in the process. I yelp at the unexpected action. Loki's hand travels now from out of my hair, over my back, my waist, to my ass. His other hand pumps up and down his dick slowly.
He starts to tease me with the tip of his cock, guiding it through my folds and spreading my arousal and his precum. I moan at the feeling, bucking my hips because why is he not railing me yet?
He stops his movements, his cock stilling right where my entrance is. I'm about to ask him why he stopped when i feel the tip of his dick entering me. I let out a near pornographic moan. Fuck, is he gooood.
The stretch feels so good after all his teasing, but he's not pushing any more of his cock in. Instead, leaving just the tip and staying where he is. I whine when i realize this and he knows exactly why.
"What is it? You want more, pet? Don't be greedy, take what I give you." he says, with a degrading tone to his voice that makes my cunt squeeze down on him. He cursed at this notion, but stayed as he is. I try to buck my hips to get more of him, but his strong hands are keeping me in place.
"Please, come on, I've been good. Pleaseeee." I beg him. "Please, Loki, i-" before I can finish my sentence he thrusts his whole length into me in one swift movement, making me choke on a sob from the pain and pleasure.
He doesn't still to let me adjust. Instead, he sets a rough pace. Fucking in and out of me fast and deep. So fucking deep, I can feel him in my stomach. I'm sure that if I had the physical strength to reach, I would be able to feel a bulge in my stomach from his cock.
My curses are high pitched and incoherent as the snap of his hips continues. "That what you wanted? Did you want to be fucked like this, hm?" I sob at his words, too overwhelmed to say anything.
"Is it too much, pet? But you were just begging me to take you, begging me to make you mine."
"T-too much-" I manage to stutter out in between his thrusts.
"Shut up, you can take it." he says in a mean tone of voice that send a shiver down my spine. "You asked for it. This is what greedy whores get." my pussy squeezes him like a vice at the degrading name he called me. Fuck, did that turn me on.
"Oh, you like being called that, hm? You like being treated like a dumb bitch." he says, grabbing a handful of my hair again and lifting up my head. "Don't you?" he asks me, emphasizing his words with a deep thrust. I answer with a guttural moan. He seems content with that answer, though. A sadistic smile claiming his lips.
"Turn over." he says all of a sudden, pulling his cock out of me and I whine at the empty feeling before obeying his order and lying down on my back now.
He leans down again and catches my lips in an aggressive kiss. He licks at my bottom lip, into my mouth. He thrusts back inside of me fully, catching me off guard. He swallows the moan it coaxes out of me and starts thrusting at the same unforgiving pace.
I close my eyes, too far gone to keep them open from the pleasure. His hand snaked towards my neck and chokes me, making my eyes shoot wide open and my hand clamp on to his.
"There we go." he says with a smile. "Keep your eyes on me, pet." so I do. I try with all my might to keep my eyes on him. Gods, the choking isn't helping. My senses are all overwhelmed, completely focused on the feeling of his cock spearing into me.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.
I hear him curse under his breath when i feel the coil in my stomach tightening for the third time this evening, making my pussy clamp down on him again.
"Fuck, so tight for me. You feel so good." he brings his free hand to my clit, rubbing calculated circles onto the sensitive bundle of nerves.
"I wanna cum inside you. Let me?" it sounds more like a demand than a question, but I shakily nod my head anyway.
The coil in my stomach gets tighter by the second. The snapping of his hips, the squeezing of his hand on my throat, the circling of his thumb on my clit. All of it.
Tightening... Tightening....
"Cum for me, princess." he tells me.
The coil snaps and the best orgasm of my life rips through my body. My pussy clamps down on him like a vice, my eyes roll to the back of my head, my jaw falls slack. He fucks me through my high and I can hear him cursing at how tight I am.
"Fuck, I'm gonna cum inside you." he curses, his pace growing sloppy as he's nearing his high. He keeps fucking up into me, making me cry out from overstimulation.
A string of curse words falls from his lips as I feel his hot cum painting my walls. He rides out his high, letting his body relax on top of me. He embraces me gently, a stark contrast to how he was fucking me just a second ago. His hips cease their rocking motion.
We lie there for a bit like that; Him carefully holding me, his cock growing soft inside of me. Our sweaty bodies unwinding and relaxing against each other. I come to after a bit, finally snapping out of my brainless daze.
"So you really thought that I was fucking your brother?" I ask him.
"Yes, I did." he sighs. I chuckle at his tired response.
"So what was your first thought when you read my mind and figured out I most certainly was not?"
"Surprise at the disgusting thoughts that courses through your head about me, mainly." he says tauntingly. "But also relief."
"Awhh how sweet." I coax.
"You know, I was right." he says in a cocky tone.
"About what?"
"That dress doesn't do you justice and I was exactly right about what does." he answers. I chuckle at his words.
"You know what I was also right about?"
"No, what's that, Prince?" I ask teasingly.
"You let me show you exactly what did do you justice, princess."
389 notes · View notes
kasagia · 10 months
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My love will never die
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x moon summoner! reader Summary: You knew Aleksander before he was a Black Heretic, a foldmaker. You married him and promised to be by his side through thick and thin. And you never, ever regretted your choice. However, one day, your paths parted in an unfortunate way, and you both believed that the love of your lives was gone forever. After many centuries, you meet again with a man very similar to your Aleksander. And you start to wonder... maybe your love never die after all? Warning(s): ANGST, de@th mention, the reader yearns for Aleksander, and Aleksander yearns for the reader :c I USED FRAGMENT OF THE SONG "Jeg Saler Min Ganger" FROM THE SERIES "LOKI" Nonsense from me: So this is request from @morrigan-crowmwell Thank you so much, I was super excited to write this! I hope this is more or less what you asked for and that you like it.♡♡ I'm sorry it took me soooo long! ♡♡ Word count: 13k
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"Aleksander Morozova! You'll be late to meet your mother!" you squealed as he stole another long kiss from you. "We don't have time for this, Sasha." you moaned, when he moved his lips to your sensitive neck.
"Nonsense… I always have time to properly say goodbye to my wife before I leave." he murmured against your skin, sucking on your weak spot behind your ear. He smiled slyly, hearing the sweet moan coming from your red lips, swollen from kissing.
Saints, he could stay in your arms for the rest of eternity.
"As much as your wife loves your goodbyes, she'd rather her mother-in-law didn't wander in the middle of one, looking for her spoiled son."
"This is how you say goodbye to your husband, lapushka? Calling him spoiled and hurting his feelings?" he asked indignantly, hovering over his beautiful wife and looking at her intently. He wanted to burn the view below him into his mind until he was back in her arms again.
"I have been "goodbye-ing" you for three hours, Aleksander. Don't you think that's enough for a 4 day trip?"
"I need at least one more hour to enjoy you." he murmured, placing more kisses on your already-marked neck.
"If Baghra finds us…" you moaned as he bit your neck gently, effectively silencing you, and got out of your head all the reasons why he should go now.
"It would be helpful if you would stop thinking about my mother while I try to kiss every inch of your gorgeous skin. Besides, don't worry about her. She likes you—sometimes even more than her own son, I have to admit. If anything, she'll blame me."
"Don't worry, sobachka (puppy), you'll always be my favourite." you smirked, flipping him onto the mattress of your bed and straddling him, marking his skin with your lips, making sure you'd give him back the same favour.
"I thought we didn't have time for this?" he purred meanly, pleased with your attention.
"Shut up and kiss me, Sasha." you demanded with an equally malicious gleam in your eyes, knowing full well how this would end. Bagra was right. You had him wrapped around your little finger. Which was good considering how many female Grishas wanted to catch his eye.
"As you wish, milaya." without a second's hesitation, he grabbed your cheek and pulled you into a kiss, pinning you back under him on the mattress.
Disappointment, as usual, overtook you after waking up from this beautiful dream. During those few centuries, flashbacks about HIM only became more frequent. Someone should hang that fool who said time heals all wounds. In your case, it only made it worse.
You'd give anything to go back a few hundred years and not let him go alone with his mother on this trip. You didn't even remember why they went to Aleksander's sister.
You had a vague memory of that day, only remembering the morning with your husband and the fragments of the Fjerdans' attack on your village.
But the moment you found out you were a moon summoner will forever be etched deep in your memories.
You helped your best friend's family and herself escape when the men attacked you. You defended yourself using all the tricks and attacks Alexander had taught you, but it wasn't enough against a band of trained soldiers.
Just as he was about to slash his sword at you, you felt heat radiating deep from your chest. You screamed, falling to your knees as light began to emit from you, blinding some soldiers and killing those close to you. The first time you've used the cut and your power.
You escaped with your friend and her brother - the last survivors, and hid in the city, pretending to be siblings who managed to survive the great fire caused by Grisha.
It was hard to pretend to hate your own people and even harder to hide your new powers. But the hardest thing was going through all this without Aleksander by your side.
You tried to contact him, search in every possible way. But the world was different back then. Your attempts in advance were doomed to failure. And you knew it. But your stupid heart made you search for your husband until the end.
And you did. Until the news of the Black Heretic, the shadow summoner, who died while creating the fold, spread across the world.
You mourned Aleksander for a long time. Your life went on, but the wound of losing your husband never healed. And you knew it wouldn't. He was your great, true love. Your end game. It was impossible to let him go, to make place in your heart for someone new.
Time passed, and everything around you slowly changed. Except you. Your friends got old, grey, and wrinkled. And you remained the same as those decades ago. Then you discovered your second curse. You were immortal.
You and Aleksander could have lived together forever if not for Shu Han's and Fjerda's people.
It was the time when you vowed to finish Aleksander's work at any cost. His sacrifice will not be in vain. You were supposed to build a Ravka safe for the Grishas. All you needed was a sun and shadow summoner.
So you waited. At any sign of the sun summoner's presence. You knew Aleksander's lineage was fine. People often spoke of the descendants of the Black Heretic. You've never come close to them. You didn't want to relive the pain that would be associated with being with a member of his family. Aleksander had no children, but his sister probably did; maybe even Baghra found someone - you weren't sure about the old woman's fate.
The past centuries have not been kind to you. But this month was fruitful in terms of good news. The sun summoner has been found, the king of Ravka was ill, and your men were on the trail of Morozova's deer.
And that's how you were on your way to meet Alina Starkov and the descendant of the Morozovas, General Kirigan.
You were supposed to change the world together - in memory of your Aleksander.
~•♤♤♤•~
Aleksander had never been in such a hurry to get home before.
He was so desperate to have you in his arms again that he even ignored all of his mother's taunts, remarks, and other snide comments. All that mattered to him now was coming home to you.
That's why he bravely endured his mother's teasing remarks as they rode horseback towards your cottage.
He was excited, only moments away from returning to the love of his life.
He missed you more than he dared admit to anyone. And he was a little ashamed of how an ordinary woman without Grisha's powers, like you, could have such power over him.
NO. You were not ordinary. You were his wife, friend, lover, support, rock, asylum, home. The only one to whom he entrusted his heart and soul voluntarily and without the slightest hesitation.
And with this gift his sister gave him, Aleksander will make sure you stay with him forever. That you'll live as long as he does. Neither of them, nor he, Baghra, nor his sister knew if this "gift" would work.
But Aleksander would be damned if he didn't try to keep you in his arms forever.
It didn't matter how many times he failed, trying to make you his equal, trying to turn you into a Grisha with similar powers to his. He was ready to do everything for you.
Aleksander sped up seeing your house. In his haste, he didn't even notice that he had lost his mother and that the scenery around him seemed to be getting darker and more frightening.
He practically leapt off his horse and raced to the door, opening it and rushing inside as fast as he could.
"Y/N?! Sweetheart, I'm home!" he shouted, expecting that as soon as you heard his voice, you would come running, throwing yourself into his arms.
But he was greeted by nothing but a terrible, deadly silence.
The scattered things in the corridor made him slightly anxious, but he dismissed his dark thoughts by saying that you were a little mess. However, after he still didn't hear any response from you, he started to worry.
He entered the living room only to find shattered furniture, an overturned bookshelf, and a broken window.
He panicked. He went mad with fear, screaming your name and running around the house like crazy, looking for you or any clues to where you might have run away.
His heart stopped when he found your battered body under an overturned wardrobe.
In the blink of an eye, he got you out from under the furniture and took you in his arms, trying to bring you back to consciousness.
"Y/N, please, Y/N, open your eyes! You can't leave me, not like that! Y/N! My sweet wife, my heart, please open your eyes!" he was shaking you in panic, begging all the saints to prove his dark suppositions wrong.
"Aleksander?" your quiet, tearful whisper both relieved him and broke his heart.
You lived. He hasn't lost you yet.
NO.
He couldn't lose you. He has to take you to the healer.
"Yes, love, it's me. Everything is fine now. I got you. Just stay with me until I get a help."
"You promised to protect me... why didn't you protect me, Aleksander? Have you stopped loving me?" your desperate whimper tore his soul in half. He began to shake all over, despising the feeling of helplessness and distress that had completely taken over him.
"What? No, I'll always love only you..." he felt your body suddenly go limp in his arms. He gripped your shoulders even tighter, shaking you in his panic attack. "Y/N? Y/N?! Y/N open your eyes! Y/N no! Don't leave me! Darling, no!" he screamed desperately in pain, burying his head in your hair and crying as he knelt on the floor and rocked with your cold body in his arms.
~•♤♤♤•~
Aleksander sprang from his bed.
The general was breathing fast, trying to calm himself after another nightmare involving you.
His beautiful wife. His epic love.
For hundreds of years, the day he lost the only love of his life played out in his nightmares in different ways. This time, his subconscious was kind enough to let him talk to you for a while. Usually, he finds your body either impaled or dismembered. He never managed to save you. With none of those dreams.
His dreams might have macabred the events of that day, but he had never, in all those hundreds of years of his life, forgotten what really happened. He has not forgotten the grief, anger, sadness, and despair that overcame him when he and Baghra found their village burned to the ground without any trace of you.
Despite his search, he still didn't know what really happened to you, and he doubted he'd ever find out the truth. If all this had happened a few years later, if he hadn't been a boy just discovering the true power growing within him then, but the man he is now, you'd never despair like that. You'd never leave him to mourn over the future you two could have if only he was more powerful.
He was trying to fool himself. Telling himself that if you survived, you would have lived a much better life than you'd lived with him by your side. What could he have given you, then? An uncertain future, living in hiding, being hunted by the king's men? You were worth much more. You were worth all the jewels and treasures of this land, safety, peace, family, and happiness. Aleksander couldn't give you that. Not then.
He couldn't remember how many sleepless nights he'd spent wishing he could meet you now, to have you by his side, when he was this powerful man who could look after you properly, who would throw the world at your feet or burn it to the ground, depending on your humour.
But every time the sun came up and he had to continue playing his new role, the bitter reality made him realise that he would never have you again. He will never feel your soft skin under his fingers again, never lose himself in those beautiful, mesmerising irises, never run his hand through your hair, never take in your wonderful, intoxicating scent, and never taste your alluring, feisty lips again.
He was alone. And he will be until the end.
Until he widens the fold and makes sure no more Grisha dies at the hands of common otkazat'sya. That none of his people will repeat your fate.
He was supposed to change the world - in memory of his Y/N.
And then, maybe fate will be kind enough to reunite him with his beloved wife on the other side.
~•♤♤♤•~
Alina Starkov was a pain in the ass.
It took the girl only 15 minutes to run away from Kirigan's Grishas and get herself into trouble. She has damn luck that you decided to follow her and rescue her sunny ass.
You disappeared as soon as you made eye contact with her after you burned the Fjerdans with your pale, white light.
You wandered through the forest, cursing under your breath at the carelessness of both sun and shadow summoners. You didn't know which was worse, the impetuous girl or the thoughtless general who just let her get away.
With helpers like that, you'll have to work twice as hard to make the fold bigger. Fate really had no mercy on you.
You stood by the river, sighing in relief as you washed the blood from your face with cold water.
Your moment of peace didn't last long, however. You sensed an additional presence—someone creeping towards you. You took out one of your daggers and braced yourself for an attack.
But the moment you turned to face your opponent, you froze.
Aleksander...
He was standing in front of you. In a black kefta, a man so like your husband that just looking at him hurts you more than any blade could. This gaze, this face, were hunting you each night, every time you closed your eyes. And now he was standing right before you.
And the worst of it all was that it wasn't your Aleksander.
Only his descendant looking just like him. A shell that resembles the only man you've ever loved.
In your rage, you attacked him first, taking out your anger on him for the saints for continuing to play you mercilessly by putting your husband's doppelgänger in your way.
But Kirigan did not give up so easily. As soon as you moved towards him, he too snapped out of his strange daze and drew his dagger as well. The clang of metal echoed across the clearing as you both tried to find the other's weak spot. Oddly enough, you both did it at the same time.
"Put that down and I'll consider whether or not to spare your life." he growled, holding your arm in a tight grip as he felt your nails digging through the skin on his hand.
"Femoral artery. You'll bleed out faster than me." you replied with a malicious smirk, ignoring his threats.
"Who are you?"
"My mother taught me better than to make friends with the stranger freak in the forest, sir. Especially when they have a dagger dangerously close to my back." you kicked him, pushing him away from you, and attacked again. The clanking of steel against each other echoed across the clearing as your daggers met halfway. You growled in frustration, pushing him away.
"Your mother should teach you not to attack everyone you meet. You may encounter someone much stronger than you." Kirigan recovered faster this time, storming at you.
You ended up in a rather uncomfortable position as you held the steel against his heart and he wrapped his arm halfway around you, pulling you close. You didn't know if you were more dissatisfied with the metal digging into your chest or with his hands on you.
"And yours that you shouldn't raise a hand against a woman. I guess they both failed."
Did you both just say the exact same thing when you first met your husband? Yes.
Will he get lenient treatment from you just because he looks like your Aleksander? Absolutely fucking no.
Taking advantage of his moment of inattention as he stared at you distractedly, you pulled out the second hidden dagger and placed it against his neck. You tried to push his hand away from you, but the man, feeling the extra-cold blade against his skin, woke up from his trance and grabbed your left hand aggressively.
He moved your blade away from his neck and pinned you to the tree, slamming your left hand hard against the trunk, making the weapon fly out of your hand and bury itself in the ground near his foot.
Kirigan pressed his dagger to your side, leaning closer to you. He stared intently into your eyes, and for a brief moment you saw longing flicker in his dark eyes, which then gave way to rage and frustration, equal to the one that exploded inside you the moment you saw him. The moment you noticed that saints still played cruel with you by creating someone so damn similar to your husband.
He has no right to have the same face and eyes as your lost love.
"What. Are. You?" he asked, pausing on each word to intimidate you and bring his face closer to yours. But you didn't care much. You have hundreds of years; nothing, especially the doppelgänger of the man you love, could scare you.
You stared at each other with hostile eyes, and for some reason (other than your dagger at his thigh), he had some sort of hatred for you as well. So much so that he didn't notice how your powers reached for each other where your skin touched.
Strangely, it felt familiar to you. HE felt familiar.
You stared into each other's eyes as you unknowingly leaned in closer. You were about to try to break free from his grip when a sudden snap of branches caught your attention.
"That's you! She saved me from the Frejdans, sir." Alina's voice pulled him out of this strange moment between you two.
You wanted to find a sun summoner. You spent several hundred years on this, but the girl had hellishly bad timing.
Kirigan moved away from you, but you both continued to aim your daggers at each other, not trusting each other for a moment. Even though Alina just admitted that you saved her life.
"Why did you do that?"
"Someone so powerful like you should recognise when they stand before their equal, general Kirigan." you sneered, glancing for a moment at the woman standing next to both of you. Fortunately, nothing happened to her. She had a few scratches, but nothing that even the most ordinary medic couldn't heal.
"And how exactly are we equal?"
You smirked mischievously as you slipped the dagger into your sheath.
You linked your hands, focusing on the warm feeling of your light coursing through your veins, and without taking your eyes off the general's, you pulled them apart, revealing a thread of white light. You spread your arms wider, causing the rays to illuminate the clearing around you.
They both stared at you in amazement as your light turned into stars, which then arranged themselves into constellations. Figures of saints ran around you until you flicked your wrist to make them disappear.
"Melinoe Petrova. Moon Summoner. I think the three of us are going to change the world together."
You watched the speechless Alina with satisfaction, but your smile faded as you shifted your gaze to Kirigan. You had some difficulty reading him, but even more so understanding the longing in his eyes.
It seems your problems with a shadowman have only just begun…
~•♤♤♤•~
Kirigan didn't trust you.
You weren't surprised by it, but you hoped it would be easier for you to manipulate him. Apparently, the descendant of Aleksander inherited family cunning and distrust.
It's been a month since your little encounter (and fight) in the woods. In the meantime, you've been living in the Little Palace with the other Grishas; you met the king and got your own fancy kefta.
Black kefta. With moons, stars, and so on.
You wouldn't care about the colour of the fabric if it didn't turn out that only Kirigan wore one. Bloody Alina was the first to find Genya and get herself a blue one. So you stayed in your black kefta, pretending the general wasn't trying to mark you as his property.
But the son of a bitch liked your look in his colours too much for you to accept it.
It didn't help that he was too much like your Aleksander, either. Many times you've held back from taunting, making snide comments, or yelling at him just because those fucking dark eyes looked at you, taking you back hundreds of years to the time when HE was by your side and looked at you like that.
The similarity between them was not only in appearance. They had a lot in common when it came to character traits. Stubborn, mischievous, prescient, well-read... sometimes, when you spent too much time in his war room, you found yourself thinking of him as your Aleksander.
So slowly, despite all your self-loathing, you fell in love with the general.
That's why you were hiding from him in the library, hoping Alina, Zoya, or anyone else would keep him busy tonight enough to forget that you were supposed to meet him after dinner.
You had to suppress that stupid feeling. He was not Aleksander. He was just your husband's doppelgänger. Just a shell of your lover.
"Mel? Are you okey?" Alina's soft, concerned whisper snapped you out of your thoughts.
"I'm fine. Another nightmare?" you asked, patting the space next to you and opening the edge of the blanket for the girl to sit with you.
Your beginnings with Alina were not colourful; the sunny girl irritated you and could easily throw you off balance. But as time passed, you became friends to the point where you comforted her after her nightmares about the fold and the deaths of her loved ones. Sometimes you would read her old Ravkan fairy tales or sneak into the kitchen for hidden sweets. In more critical situations, you would drag her outside to the gardens, where you would sit on the pier by the lake, watching it gleam in the moonlight.
In a way, you too found solace in comforting the girl. It was nice to have company after being alone for so long. Fighting your past, which was showing up in your dreams, was easier with a ray of sunshine by your side.
"No. This time I can't sleep."
"Are you bothered by overly comfortable pillows, or maybe our princess felt a pea under the mattress?" Alina snorted, shaking her head. It took her some time to realise that your sarcastic remarks were not intended to offend her but merely to make her laugh.
"I'm thinking about Mal."
"Oh yeah… your boyfriend and childhood friend, what's up with him?" you asked, slamming the book shut to turn all your attention to the black-haired girl.
"He's not my boyfriend. We are only friends." she murmured, blushing, obviously awkward at your apt comment.
"Sunshine, I can recognise the face and eyes of a woman in love. You can't hide your feelings from me."
"Well, you're not the only one with this gift. Kirigan also gives you an infatuated man's look. Don't deny it! Even Ivan can see it. I think that already half of the second army knows about their general's fondness for the moon summoner." she teased you with a cocky smirk on her face. You rolled your eyes, returning your attention to your book.
"Please, half of the Grishas look at me like that."
You knew what Alina meant. Kirigan looked to you as the solution to his fold problems - as did the other Grishas. Little did they know that instead of being their saviour, you gonna be their worst nightmare... a White Heretic.
"No, not in that way. They look at you, at us, as saints, as saviours who can destroy the fold. He admires you, not your power. And judging by the fact that you're still wearing a black kefta, he's not indifferent to you either."
You inadvertently snuggled deeper into the black material. Alina was partly right; maybe you didn't want to get involved in any romance, but it would definitely be easier to manipulate the general who is infatuated with you. You could have taken advantage of the fact that seeing you in his colours put him in a strangely pleasant mood. You've used your black clothes more than once as a weapon in your negotiations with the dark general.
"I have a black kefta because some irritatingly fast sun summoner found Genya first and got herself a dark blue one. You didn't leave me much choice, Alina."
"How sorry I am for that. By the way, Kirigan asked about you. He waits in his chambers, longing to finally see you after you've been ruthlessly ignoring him all day."
"I'm not done with you, Starkov!" you shouted after her, but the girl was already at the door, sticking her tongue out at you.
"See you in the morning, Petrova! You will tell me about your meeting with the General." she said as she walked away, slamming the library door.
"That little bitch." you muttered under your breath, wondering if you should go. You could have lied to him and said that you didn't meet Alina and forgot about your meeting. You only doubted the sun summoner's loyalty to you...
However, you started gathering your things, knowing full well that you would have to leave the library anyway.
You frowned as you heard soft footsteps behind you that probably no normal human would have heard… at least not one who hadn't lived at least a hundred years of hiding and running.
"Ivan." you greeted him without turning to face him. The man stopped, obviously surprised that you sensed his presence. However, he quickly returned to his unemotional mode.
"Miss Petrova. The General requests your presence in the war room."
"I was on my way." you replied, knowing full well that the man knew the truth. More than once, he chased you around the Little Palace at the general's behest. Fortunately, he had enough sense in his head not to make Kirigan aware that your memory was reliable and you didn't meet him only out of your own reluctance (actually, a huge desire to see him). "Alina just told me he wants to see me."
Ivan nodded and waited for you to escort you to the war room.
~•♤♤♤•~
Considering the fact that you were a regular visitor to Kirigan's war room, you should know the way to his chambers. But each time, you seemed to take a completely different route than the last time.
Ivan had to repay your elusiveness by making the longest trips to the general's room.
But this time, heartrender quickly dropped you off at his general's door and, wishing you good night, disappeared into one of the corridors.
You sighed, not wanting to face your growing infatuation and subsequent attempts to manipulate the general into carrying out your plans today.
You opened the door, entering the "vestibule". You pricked up your ears as you heard Kirigan talking to someone very familiar. Zoya.
"You used to call on me. On times like this. Your table wasn't messy, and in bed, it was me instead of these books. I can help you make it all right. Just let yourself relax." without knowing why, you wanted to go in there and interrupt whatever plan she had to seduce him. And not because you felt jealousy eating you up inside. You were supposed to be the one to lead him by the nose to do whatever you wanted. Not that windy bitch who was ruining your plan.
"I shall relax when my moon summoner comes here to help me with this. With her by my side, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I'm with the perfect helper." you chuckled internally, wanting so much to see the look on her face after he had rejected her. You figured this would be the perfect time to step in.
"Am I disturbing?" you asked as you walked inside.
If Zoya was an inferni, the general's room would probably go up in flames at the sight of you. Kirigan, on the other hand, seemed very pleased to see you. His eyes were focused only on you. And your black nightgown, over which you threw on (also the black) kefta he ordered.
"Not at all. Zoya was about to leave a few minutes ago."
"General." he said. Kirigan did not even glare at her as she bowed to him. She walked past you, giving you a hostile look, which you only smirked at.
"Didn't you forget something?" Kirigan's sharp question broke the silence between the three of you. Zoya stood immobile, as if engraved. She stared at the general for a moment, then clenched her hands into fists and bowed to you.
"Miss Petrova." she growled, then stormed out of the war room, slamming the door.
"It wasn't necessary. You'll only infuriate her more by forcing her to show me respect." you said, turning to face the general, who was suddenly right behind you. He was the only one who could sneak up on you. A skill he used extensively.
"You're the moon summoner… you'll get all the respect you deserve. I'll make sure about it." he murmured, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"You can't make people do it. Respect is something that has to be earned, something that has no meaning if it is given involuntarily." his silence surprised you. He usually answered your words with 10 of his. But now he was staring at you silently, which didn't help your already fast-beating heart. "So what do we have on the agenda today, general? Arguments about whether we really need First Army soldiers or you don't know where Loavana is."
"I know where Loavana is. I was tired then, and besides, you were the one who turned the map and misled me."
"Of course, general." you snorted, smiling teasingly. You moved to the other side of the table, tactically increasing the distance between you. "So, did you summon me for any reason other than staring at my natural glow? Because honestly, I'm getting a little bored." you said as you sat down on the table and casually reached for one of the orders he had written.
"Always impatient." he muttered, suddenly appearing in front of you and gently taking the paper from your hand.
"Always too mysterious."
"This may surprise you, but I have other things on my mind than your natural glow, little moon."
"What a shame." you murmured, placing your hand over your heart in a hurt gesture. But you became serious when you saw him staring dully at the map. "What's bothering you?"
"The Fjerdans have moved closer to our border."
"How many?" you asked, jumping off the table and turning your full attention to the distressed general.
"Several branches. Enough to get our attention and attack one of our regiments." he replied, pouring himself a glass of liquor and handing you your own.
"We need to speed up Alina's training. Before all hell breaks loose and our great king orders our troops to be divided to fight the Fjerdans. The fold case must be finally closed. Before we go to another war. For now, we have to send some of our healers and additional troops there. If there are more of Grishas there, no Fjerdan will dare attack them. They will shift their attention to the soldiers of the first army, and this will no longer be a direct problem for us." you turned to him, confused by his silence. Kirigan stared at you with a gentle, tender smile on his face and a longing, dreamy look. The silence between the two of you and the gaze he was giving you embarrassed you. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?"
"No." he grunted, shaking his head as he blushed slightly when you caught him staring. "I just... I was fighting this war alone for so long."
This was the moment. You had to cast your net over him, surround him at his most vulnerable, and make him fall for you.
But you forgot to guard your own heart in the process...
You grabbed his hand. Your powers combined as usual when your skin touched, causing you to be enveloped in the utter darkness of his shadows, with only the white light emanating from your joined hands illuminating your faces.
"You're not alone." you whispered, afraid to break the spell between you. Afraid that the moment your voice reaches him, those damn hypnotic eyes will tear away from yours. Afraid your mind is about to scold the stupid heart that beat for the man before you. A man who, for the sake of your sanity, was too much like the husband you loved.
"I've been waiting a long time for you." he replied just as quietly, afraid to break the sanctity of the moment. Afraid it was another of his cruel dreams where he would have your dead body in his arms again. But the reality was even more brutal for him. Because the woman who stood before him, the woman who looked exactly like his wife, wasn't her at all. And that didn't stop his cold, centuries-old heart from beating for her.
"Believe me, not as long as me." you whispered. Tears began to gather in his eyes, threatening to spill out as he raised his other trembling hand and cupped your cheek. The feel of his cold hand on your face made you realise what you were doing. He was not Aleksander. He wasn't yours. And you will never be his. "I think I should go." you grunted, stepping away from him.
His shadows returned to him, as did your light. Everything has returned to normal. Except for the frantic beating of the hearts of the two of you.
"Don't forget about tomorrow's ball. We're supposed to put on a little show for the king and his nobility."
"How could I forget that we're supposed to be circus monkeys tomorrow?" you asked with a pugnacious smirk, to which he just shook his head in amusement.
"Don't let anyone else hear it. I don't want to visit you in a dungeon… however tempting you look in chains." his bold suggestion shocked you, but you decided to play on without giving him a chance to have the last word. You walked over to him and, ignoring his intense gaze, whispered in his ear with your lips brushing his earlobe.
"I'm not that easy to put in chains, general." you brushed his cheek with yours and disappeared from the war room at the speed of light.
It was something you could do. Game, flirt, chase, challenge—all kept away from any emotion other than lust. It was a game. Manipulation game. And you were going to win it. For your Aleksander and other Grishas.
~•♤♤♤•~
Your dress was so beautiful and wonderful. You admire Genya's skills, but what she did for you this time was indescribable.
With trembling hands, you smoothed the fabric of the dress around your waist, admiring the intricate embroidery of the constellations. The white and silver threads shone in the candlelight like real stars on your dark blue dress.
You didn't like getting dressed up, getting your hair up in a fancy hairstyle, or wearing those uncomfortable ball gowns. In fact, you've only worn formal clothes a few times in your life. But only twice did you feel like a true goddess, a queen. Today and on your wedding day.
"Who put that veil on you?" Baghra's grumpy tone snapped you out of your thoughts as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You had a lovely dress, even considering that neither you nor Aleksander and his mother had as much money compared to other families. But it didn't matter. Not for you. The most important was Alexander and you. And not the judgmental looks of other people. It was your day and no one could ruin it for you.
"Myself. Something's wrong?"
The woman sighed as she walked over to you and unfastened it with unusual delicacy for her, mumbling something about your blindness as she adjusted your crooked veil.
"Now. You look almost properly. You're missing one thing."
"Which is?"
She reached into the pouch strapped to her side and pulled out something shiny. She gestured for you to turn towards the mirror. You did it while watching a woman put the most beautiful necklace you've ever seen around your neck.
"Bagra is… it's wonderful. I can't…"
"Yes, you can. And you will be. I won't let that old hag gossip about my daughter looking like a poor peasant on her wedding day."
"Thank you." you whispered in a shaky voice, more concerned that the woman called you her daughter than the ridiculously expensive and beautiful necklace.
"Come on. Don't cry, or you'll turn red and scare everyone, including my son. You'd better hurry up. The boy is about to have a heart attack if you're another minute late. If it wasn't for Ulla, he would have run here 10 minutes ago."
"Did she manage to come?" you asked as she took your arm with the obvious intention of walking you down the aisle.
"Of course. That's my daughter. She wouldn't waste the opportunity to tease her crazy-in-love brother." you giggled, not missing her little smile. The woman stopped right in front of the exit door, giving you a serious look. "Y/N, are you absolutely sure you want this? You know our true origins, my boy's character, and all the dark things our family has been through. Are you absolutely sure you want to join this mess? 'Cause once we walk through that door, there's no turning back."
"I think we both know the answer to that question, Baghra."
"No. I need to hear it. Do you truly want this?"
"I dream of nothing more than marrying Aleksander, and spending my whole life with him, no matter how long or short it may be."
The woman nodded silently and opened the door.
A wide smile appeared on your face as soon as your gaze met the clearly nervous Aleksander. He calmed down the moment he saw you, an equally goofy, in-love smirk playing on his lips. And when he finally had you at arm's length, he didn't hesitate to grab your hands in his firm grip, never taking his eyes off yours for a moment.
It was just you and him. Lost in your love.
And so began your little eternity together... shorter than either of you would have liked.
You'll always remember that day, even if it was associated with bittersweet memories of your all-too-short marriage. A single tear fell from your eye. You wiped it with the sleeve of your dress.
Your hand automatically wandered under your dress, absently stroking the Baghra's necklace to which you had attached your wedding ring. The only memento of your past.
In another life, you and Aleksander could have had it all.
"Little moon? Are you ready?" Kirigan entered your room." We're going... soon." you could see in the mirror how he froze as his eyes met your reflection in the silver mirror.
You turned to him, making a sweeping movement with your skirt. You wouldn't waste your chance to be a diva. However, you yourself soon succumbed to a similar blackout as his as soon as you assumed the general's appearance.
The saints really liked to torment you.
There was no other explanation for why the man in front of you looked almost exactly like your husband on your wedding day.
Aleksander couldn't take his eyes off her. She was perfect. Ethereal, otherworldly, and breathtaking. His Y/N... No. She wasn't her. No one could be her, not even a woman with her face. Which didn't stop him from giving himself to this dream that it was his wife standing in front of him. He spent hundreds of years in suffering; maybe this one night he can afford to live in his most beautiful dreams, where SHE would still be with him.
He cleared his throat, snapping you both out of the strange, nostalgic atmosphere.
"You look amazing." you blushed as you turned back to the mirror, pretending to consider the truth of his compliment.
"Thank you. Genya makes wonderful dresses." you reached for the kefta thrown over the armchair, but the man beat you to it.
"Please, allow me." you nodded to him. You turned your back to him, waiting for him to put the kefta on your shoulders.
He smoothed it out, letting his hand brush the fabric of your bare collarbones for a moment too long. You shivered as you felt the tiny touch of his fingertips on your bare skin. Good thing the kefta covered most of your bare arms. You didn't want to give him satisfaction for how he was affecting you.
But judging by his dilated pupils, you weren't the only one who felt the attraction between the two of you.
However, you will definitely not be the one to give in to such trivial desires. He was not Aleksander. Nobody could.
"Thank you again." you murmured as you pulled away from him, smiling. You preferred to act oblivious to his advances rather than risk giving in to the lust that was evident between the two of you. Although you knew there would come a point in your little game where you'd have to seduce him a bit to lull his guard down. And you feared that moment more than entering the fold.
"Anytime, love. Shall we?" he asked, offering you his arm. "I hope you spare me at least one dance." he murmured, smiling at you with that flirty twinkle in his eyes as he kissed your hand.
Wonderfully. Now he was supposed to be your personal bodyguard for all night.
You sighed, grabbing his arm. Kirigan pulled you closer as he escorted you through the maze of corridors.
It was going to be a really tough day. - you thought, allowing yourself to steal a glance at the general who was already watching you. - Especially with those eyes so focused on me.
~•♤♤♤•~
The Kirigan left you alone for a moment just before entering the ballroom. You were to wait for him and Alina, and then the three of you were to give little shows of darkness and light.
So you waited patiently until someone bumped into you, knocking you to the floor.
"Watch where you walk!" you growled, dusting yourself off as you got up off the floor. The hooded figure stopped and turned to you. You both froze when you saw your faces.
"Y/N?" Baghra asked in disbelief. "It is impossible." she whispered, coming closer to you and catching your hand in a strong, bruising grip, only to grab your necklace later, which had slipped out from under your dress after you fell. She looked at him tenderly, shifting her gaze to you.
"Hello mom." you whispered uncertainly, fearing your mother-in-law's reaction. She liked you, it's true, but in the meantime, you managed to disappear without a trace for hundreds of years. You didn't know what your relationship was like now. But rather, neither of you could be hostile to the other.
"It's really you… But how? I… we thought you were dead, child. Where have you been all this time?"
"A little here, a little there. Forgive me for not writing or coming. I think you understand perfectly well why I didn't."
"Not even a bit, actually." she replied, confused. You frowned. You've never seen Baghra confused. It was a strange sight, to say the least, and definitely worth remembering.
"You know how dear he was... Aleksander is to me. After his death..."
"Death?" she asked. You didn't know if you misheard or if the surprise in her voice was genuine. She rather knew about his death, didn't she?
"Yes. While creating a fold." you explained, looking at her intently. But Baghra's face never betrayed anything. Not any single emotion. She tucked the necklace under your dress and grabbed your shoulders.
"Oh, my dear child. For all this time..."
"Baghra!" Kirigan's scream echoed through the empty corridor. The woman stepped back from you like she was burned, watching the general with contempt as he approached the two of you. "What are you talking about with my moon summoner? I hope she didn't bother you too much, Miss Petrova."
"Not at all. Actually…"
"I was just leaving, moi soverenyi." the woman interrupted you, giving you an enigmatic look, before she turned her back to you two. "Enjoy yourself, Miss Petrova." she threw over her shoulder as she walked away.
"Crazy woman. But he teaches the young Grisha well. What did she want from you?"
"Nothing special. She asked where I was from and what I was doing here. I don't think she's heard of the new moon summoner yet."
"Probably you are right. Let's go. We've got a show to play."
He took your hand gently and led you to the centre of the room, where Alina was already waiting for you.
You had a simple task. Kirigan summons shadows. Alina, on the other side of the room, her golden rays, and you, the white moonlight that was supposed to connect with her powers, then break up into several constellations.
A child's trick and spectacle for the common folk who treated you like toys all rolled into one.
Everything was going smoothly. Suddenly, the room was completely dark. You waited patiently for Alina's light to appear on the other side of the room. When suddenly someone approached you from behind.
"It's okay, it's me. It's just me, you're safe."
"What are you doing?" you asked as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, taking both of your hands in his.
"Don't you think this is the best place to watch the whole show?" his question confused you. You turned in his arms, miraculously seeing those bloody, dark eyes in the darkness. The mischievous sparks both made your chest feel warm and terrified. The bastard was up to something.
"I doubt it; with my light, you'll barely see Alina's trick."
"Works perfectly for me, my little moon." he whispered against your ear. You tensed as you felt his soft lips on your earlobe.
Suddenly he leaned in, the tip of his nose tracing a path from your ear down your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he inhaled your perfume and those damn distracting lips slid from your ear to your neck.
He started placing small, wet kisses there. Your brain has melted. It stopped working while the general was kissing every sensitive spot on your neck. He read your body so damn well that if it weren't for his quick reflexes and his hand over your mouth, your loud, obscene groan would have echoed in the darkness of the ballroom.
You felt the light involuntarily escape from you and thanked all the saints that you lost control just as Alina finished her part.
You tried to push the shadow summoner away from you, but your attempts were so futile (and reluctant) that you quickly gave up, focusing on doing your job with his intoxicating mouth and roaming hands on you.
The son of a bitch was lucky to stay in the shadows, unseen by anyone but you.
You internally cursed yourself for how much easier it was to do the whole trick with him around.
To your great disappointment, he moved away from you just before the grand finale. You were panting, trying to calm your wildly beating heart, and breathing as the light began to take over the ballroom.
And those fucking dark eyes and smug smirk were the first damn thing you saw when you and Alina lit up the room.
People started applauding. Kirigan came up to you and grabbed your hand, and after Alina joined you, you bowed to everyone, gathering an ovation. You glanced briefly at Kirigan, who was staring at your neck. You just hoped he didn't leave a hickey in plain sight. But judging by the way his smirk widened and the way he ran away from you as soon as you were surrounded by a crowd of people, you assumed you had a new, not-so-visible yet bruise on your skin.
You'll kill him as soon as you get your hands on him.
~•♤♤♤•~
You stand in the darkness of his war room, waiting for him to finally appear. You played with the dagger in your hands, contemplating meeting Baghra. You felt something was wrong, something was missing. The woman's behaviour both helped you and, after the general's arrival, gave you a lot to think about. She was hiding something. But what?
you sighed. If only Aleksander was here. It would save you a lot of trouble. Among other things, intimidating his doppelgänger, who started to stick to you too much - much to your tacit approval.
But you were aware that this attraction was only due to his resemblance to your Aleksander. In a few decades, Kirigan will die too. And you will be completely alone again.
The sound of his boots hitting the floor snapped you out of your thoughts. You braced yourself for an attack and jumped on him just as he flanked the door and stepped inside. You pinned him against the wall with a dagger to his neck as he gave you a surprised, amused look.
"Hello, moonlight. Do you like the ball?"
"What the hell was that?!" you growled, pressing the blade against his skin as you made a small, harmless cut.
"You put a dagger to my neck far too often, darling." he noted, frowning as droplets of blood decorated the silver metal.
"Don't change the fucking subject! You have no damn right to act like this. Lay your hand on me like that again, and I'll make sure you don't have anything to summon your shadows with, general."
"So my lips on your incredibly alluring soft skin were no problem for you, my sweet moon?" he asked maliciously, raising an eyebrow. You growled, irritated by his arrogance. You guessed you preferred it when he responded to your attack with his own dagger.
"Do that again, and you won't live to see another moment to find out."
"You forget..." he mumbled, suddenly grabbing your hand holding the blade and wrapping his other around your neck. He pinned you against the wall, making sure there was no space between you two. "That you're not the only one with power here."
"You'd better let me go, little shadow, before you unleash hell you can't stop." you growled, summoning your light, which immediately met his shadows. You fought, jostling with your powers and staring hard into each other's eyes. You weren't going to lose this fight.
"You underestimate me, darling. I'm more than able to face any of your hell."
You didn't know why, but that sentence, the confidence in his eyes, the arrogance in his voice, and the same immense need that was hiding under both yours and his mask of restraint changed something between you two.
His already dark eyes were practically taken over by black pupils that stared at you lustfully. The intoxicating smell of his perfume, the warmth of his body, and those damn big, cool hands on your hot skin only made you accept your spur-of-the-moment decision.
With his hand still tightly wrapped around your neck, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his.
You both groaned in unison. Your only consolation in this situation was that before your hands hooked on his strong arms, holding on tightly for fear your legs would give out, you could hear his dagger first drop to the marble floor, seconds before your blade.
You only broke apart for a moment before quickly removing the other's kefta and catching the other's lips again. You fought for control, biting into the other's lip every now and then, which only met with more resistance and the will to fight. Neither you nor he were made to lose.
At one point, he grabbed you by the waist, wrapping your legs around him as he carried you to the nearest flat surface—the war table. With one flick of his hand, he swept all the maps, papers, and other stuff off him onto the floor and practically threw you onto a wooden table.
You gasped in shock as your body suddenly hit the wood, which Kirigan quickly took advantage of. He dug into your mouth, his tongue grazing yours as he tried to dominate you once again.
You growled, grabbing the back of his black shirt and tearing the fabric to get to his skin, where you didn't hesitate to leave blood crescents in the shape of your fingernails.
He hissed away from your kiss-swollen lips and bit into the same damn spot on your neck where he had dared leave a hickey before.
Aleksander...
You froze. It wasn't Aleksander. It will never be your Aleksander again. No matter how damn similar they were.
Kirigan continued to kiss your neck when you finally decided, with a heavy heart, to push him away with a gentle kick.
You both stared at each other, gasping for breath. Kirigan took a hesitant step towards you and raised his hand to gently stroke your cheek. But you jumped off the war table before his skin could touch yours and start your kissing session all over again.
You had to escape from there. As soon as possible.
"I... I should go." you mumbled, shoving past him to pick up the kefta that had been thrown on the floor by him.
"Wait a second..." he followed you but stopped the moment his eyes met yours again. You both wanted each other. You were both held back by the very same thing that attracted you in the first place.
"We have a hard day tomorrow. Make sure Ivan wakes up Alina; she's not such an early riser after all." you mumbled in panic, backing towards the door.
"Melinoe." he tried to stop you, but your hand on the doorknob was faster. You opened the door, and without looking back, you threw over your shoulder:
"Good night, general."
You ran to your room, and before anyone could stop you, you shut the door. Tears began to flow freely from your eyes as you slid to the floor.
For a moment, a fleeting little moment, you were Y/N again. You were that 20-year-old girl kissing her husband again. But Kirigan could never be Aleksander. And even if you gave him your heart, he would shatter it to pieces over time when he, like other descendants of your Aleksander, reached old age. You were doomed to be lonely. But the fact that a person with eyes, a face, and a mind so like your husband was at your fingertips wasn't helpful to your already broken soul at all.
You just wanted to have your husband in your arms again. Was it so much for the saints to accomplish? You sobbed piteously until you fell asleep on the floor from exhaustion.
Little did you know that a few floors above you, someone was also mourning their dead significant other. And he also cursed fate for putting in his path a woman so similar to the one for whom he would give everything he held dear.
One thing was certain. The longer you stayed in the presence of the other, the more you lost your mind. But neither of you was ready to deprive yourself of the toxic pleasure of seeing the living face of your beloved, lost spouse.
~•♤♤♤•~
As planned, the next day you headed towards the border with Fjerdans. Neither you nor the general spoke to you most of the way, which Alina and Baghra noticed. Yes. Baghra went with you. The general was just as shocked as you, but surprisingly, he didn't argue with the woman about her unannounced presence.
The only thing you were afraid of during this trip was crossing the land where your village used to be. Aleksander's house and yours. It also didn't help that you were supposed to be there on the exact anniversary of his death - the creation of the fold.
You thought it would be easier for you to ride a horse through the only place where you were happy, but the wave of memories flooding you did not allow you to pass by indifferently.
"You'll never catch me!" you run away from him, laughing.
"If I catch you, the game will be over. But since you're insulting my capabilities…" you yelled as you ran away when Aleksander rushed to you.
You ran along the river, looking over your shoulder every now and then to make sure your boyfriend wasn't right behind you.
Suddenly, a cloud of shadows appeared in front of you, from which your Sasha came out and grabbed you by the waist. You thrashed in his embrace, causing you both to fall to the ground, laughing.
"Aleksander! You shouldn't use it in public!" you scolded him, punching him lightly in the chest.
"We are in the middle of the forest. There are only us and some animals."
"Still it is risky for you. Don't make me tell your mother about this."
"Could you please stop threatening me with my own mother?" he groaned, throwing you off him, to which you squealed indignantly. You stared with your daggers at the man lying before you with a mischievous smirk and an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Since I found out she likes me and trusts me more than you? No, it's too funny, my grumpy shadow-man." you laughed. You rolled your eyes as you watched his expression growl. You climbed on top of him and kissed the crease that had formed between his eyebrows from your comment. "I'm soooo sorry, Sasha. You know how much I love you, right? You're the most important person in my life, Aleksander Morozova."
"And you in mine, Y/N Y/L/N." he murmured, grabbing your cheek and pulling you into a sweet, slow kiss. You purred, enjoying the feel of his lips on yours - something you'll never get tired of. He pulled away from you far too quickly. He licked his lips, looking at you nervously. You raised an eyebrow, questioningly. "Y/N... can I ask you a question?"
"Right now? I thought you gonna kiss me a little longer, but if it's so important." he chuckled, shaking his head, as he leaned down to catch your lips in a kiss again.
"Happy, lapushka?"
"Not really, but I'll try to survive a few minutes without your lips on mine." he chuckled, but you knew from the features of his face and the gentle clasping of his shoulders that something was bothering him. You just hoped he wouldn't have to leave with his mother again... "What did you want to ask me?" Aleksander cleared his throat, taking your hands in his trembling.
"You know that I love you. I can't imagine how my life would have turned out if you hadn't put that dagger to my throat five years ago right here."
"I knew I recognized this place from somewhere." you cut him off, looking around the clearing. Aleksander laughed, catching your attention again as you blushed at how stupidly you interrupted him. But it seemed to help him relax, judging by the way his hand confidently reached out to cup your cheek.
"You make me laugh. Even on the darkest, worst of days. Just one look at those wonderfully beautiful eyes is enough to completely change my mood. One word from you and all my plans and beliefs fall into oblivion. You are the light in my darkness. The only good thing that happened to me. The only person who isn't afraid of what I can do. The only person who looks at me with such adoration despite my shadows."
"You know I love them. I love all of you, Sasha. Nothing will change that." you replied with tears in your eyes, suspecting what his confession would lead to.
"I know I have nothing worth you and that the life I can offer you is nothing compared to what you deserve, but you know me better than I know myself... I would go crazy if I wasn't the only man who has the privilege of seeing your face first thing every morning and falling asleep in the presence of your beauty. I'd go crazy if someone else could be called yours..." Aleksander took a simple gold ring with a small black gem from his pocket.
You gasped, knowing full well how much money he must have spent on even such a simple engagement ring. Baghra was supposed to skin your fiancé when she figured out what he wasted their money on.
"Sasha..." you whispered, crying, moving your gaze towards him.
"Y/N, kei onolich yash (will you marry me)? Will you be my wife?" too moved to answer him, you pulled him into a kiss. You both smiled like idiots. "I'm guessing it's yes then, but I'd rather hear it from you before I tell everyone else."
"Yes. Yes, I will marry you, you idiot. You didn't have to buy me a ring, Sasha. I would say yes without it."
"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't reject me." he replied with a mischievous smirk, putting it on your finger. You huffed and punched him lightly on the shoulder. The ring sparkled in the moonlight. Your face hurts from smiling. "I promise you, Y/N one day I'll give you the prettiest, flashiest ring in all of Ravka."
"And I will still prefer the one you gave me today." you replied without a second of hesitation, pulling your fiancé into another kiss.
The Kirgian ordered a stop, which everyone accepted with gratitude. And when others Grishas dispersed to their tasks, you decided to go to the place where your house and Aleksander's once stood.
Since you were already a stupid girl, as Baghra so nicely called you, this little trip shouldn't hurt you. You'd rather be stupid and crazy—completely mad from love—than ever forget about Aleksander and move on.
And that's how you got here. By the river, close to the place where you used to be the happiest in the world, and now you were shedding a sea of tears over the life you lost.
"I will build you a palace."
"What?" you asked, giggling as you looked away from the stars to your husband lying next to you on the grass.
Sensing the movement of your head, he turned around to look at you closely. You both loved nights like these. Your hands intertwined as you both lay on the ground looking at the stars and talking about your day, your plans, and your dreams. It was a sacred ritual between the two of you that you performed at least once a week.
"A palace. For you and our future children. A safe place where we can live with our little family."
"Sasha... I don't need a palace to feel safe with you. You are my shelter. My protector. What we have now is more than enough."
"That little hut where we barely fit in with our stuff, even though we don't have much anyway? NO. You deserve all the treasures of this world, Y/N" he murmured, stroking your cheek tenderly.
You sighed, pressing your cheek against his hand, enjoying every ounce of his attention. It's been getting more and more dangerous around here lately. You seldom had time to spend together; you were too busy with the Grisha needing your help. But you didn't mind. As long as Aleksander's eyes gave you that loving, adoring look at least once a day, you were ready to face anything to get back into his waiting arms.
"I already have one." he raised an eyebrow questioningly, looking at you in surprise. You just smiled, pulling him to you by the chin and connecting your lips in a kiss. Aleksander rolled over and hovered over you, not breaking your tender kiss. You placed your hands on his cheeks and gently pulled him away, looking into his eyes. No stars in the sky could match the brilliance of his dark irises. "You are my treasure. With you by my side I want nothing more. You're all I need to be happy, Sasha." you mumbled, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. Aleksander buried his face in your hands, closing his eyes for a moment and surrendering to this tender gesture.
"You deserve much more, milaya. And I promise, by all the saints and stars in the sky, I'll give you the world."
"Everything in time, Aleksander. Now, kiss your wife and show her how much you love her." you giggled as his long hair tickled your cheeks as he dutifully caught your lips in another sweet kiss.
"Was he really worth it?" Baghra's question cut through your sobs. You wiped your tears, not wanting to cry in front of her, and turned to face her. "Wouldn't you rather curse him for creating a fold and for leaving you than mourn the bastard that was my son? Y/N, child, you have eternity ahead of you. An eternity where you can be happy. Is Aleksander worth wasting it?" you laughed bitterly, knowing the answer to her question all too well. Nothing has changed over the centuries. And you knew nothing would change your feelings.
"You know very well that I will never know happiness again. Not without him. I've never done that in all these years."
"There had to be a moment. Even the smallest." she tried desperately to convince you. You dropped your head, remembering those few moments between you and Kirigan in Little Palace.
"There was. Next to a man who looked like him. But after a while, it dawned on me that he would never be Aleksander. Call me and think about me however you want. Pathetic child, crazy woman… But the truth is, I loved your son, Baghra, and I will always love only him. Our hearts were created by the saints as one and divided in two, placing one in Aleksander and the other in me. There is no one in the world I could love like him, with whom I could be truly happy. This type of love never dies, Baghra. Even separated by a grave."
"What if you got him back? If he was with you, but he wasn't the same man you remember?"
"It wouldn't matter. We are all changing. I know I would love him as much as I did then."
"I just hope you know what you want, child. And that maybe he'll go back to who he used to be because of you." she sighed, leaving you alone with your grief. You frowned, analysing her vague words.
It wasn't until it started to get dark that you got up from your knees and brushed the dirt off your clothes. You were about to leave when the crunch of branches caught your attention. A foolish hope rose in you and you lifted your head, only to meet your eyes with the Kirgian.
"General. I was just returning to camp." he nodded his head without a word.
Taking that as your cue to leave, you turned to take one last look at what used to be your home. You sighed tremblingly as a lone tear rolled down your cheek.
And you whistled.
It was a fragment of an old Ravkan song about lovers returning home after a long journey to throw themselves into each other's arms, longing for separation. You and Aleksander adored it. And you decided that every time one of you left home, you would whistle that particular verse that stuck in your mind.
In storm-black mountains, I wander alone
Over the glacier I make my way
A cool breeze caressed your hot (from crying) skin. But the goosebumps that formed on your arms weren't from the cold at all.
"In the apple orchard stands the maiden fair and sings, When will you come home?"
You froze. Incapable of anything but breathing. You misheard. It's just one of your stupid fantasies, your mind playing tricks on you, or another cruel dream about how you got back the man you loved. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be real.
But the man holding your arm in a tight grip and turning you around to face him felt very real. AND ALIVE.
"Sasha?" you whispered tearfully, shaking all over, and if it wasn't for his strong grip on both of your arms, you probably would have fallen to your knees in front of him long ago, unable to do anything other than stare hopefully at the man in front of you.
Aleksander's heart shuddered and threatened to burst as the pet name, unused for hundreds of years, reached his ears. In an instant, you were on his chest as he hugged you with all his might. With your ear to his heart, you listened to his beating, and for the first time in hundreds of years, you cried WITH HAPPY.
"It's me, milaya. My sweet Y/N, my moon, my heart, my wife. It's me."
You heard him through a haze, too intent on his eyes to understand anything more from his speech. It was him. Your Aleksander. All this time. He was saying something to you, but you completely ignored him as something gold around his neck shimmered in the moonlight. You pulled the chain from under his jacket, sighing as you saw his wedding ring hanging securely on his necklace. A sob of disbelief escaped you. It was really him.
His hand cupping your cheek caused your watery gaze to shift back to those dark, beloved eyes.
"No more tears, milaya. You do not have to worry. From now on, I will never leave your side again. Not for a single bloody second."
And that was enough for you.
Grabbing his hair, you pulled him closer to you to feel his lips on yours as soon as possible. It wasn't one of those soft, gentle, unhurried kisses that lovers share after they meet after some separation.
It was intense, desperate, and needy, expressing your deadly longing for each other's lips through those painful years without each other. You didn't have the strength to hold back, to pretend you didn't miss that exact feeling all those lonely nights.
It didn't matter that your tears mixed and you could taste their salty taste on each other's lips. It didn't matter that your lungs were burning for air. It didn't matter that you had already fallen to your knees, too shaken by the feeling of the other's lips, but both of you longed too much for this closeness between you to deprive yourself of the warmth of the other's body even for a millisecond. It didn't matter if your lips were too swollen to decently go back to camp and pretend nothing had happened between you two.
You sincerely doubted that you would be able to take even a step towards the camp. Not after you trembled in Aleksander's lap as his hands caressed every inch of your skin.
But the moment came when you had to pull away from each other, cursing the need for air. You rested your forehead against his, inhaling his scent and clinging to his kefta to be as close to him as possible.
You both knew that there was no way you were going to be an arm's length away from each other. And you were seriously considering sticking with him permanently. His dark cloak looked big enough for you to hide under it too.
You couldn't believe your luck. He was here. With you. You had his arms around you again as you both clung desperately to each other.
Your Aleksander. Your husband. Your loved one. Your heart.
He had you again. His wife. His soulmate. His sanity. His equal. HIS EVERYTHING.
You wanted to pull away for a moment to look at his face again, but something tugged at your neck, bringing your head to Aleksander's shoulder. You looked down. Your necklaces are tangled.
"Seriously? It couldn't have happened a month ago?" you groaned as you tried to untangle your chains. You smiled, hearing how your husband laughed carelessly for the first time in centuries, since the day he lost you. "We'll never hear the end of it from Baghra, you know about it Sasha?" you asked, resting your forehead against his as you gave up on releasing the two of you. It didn't matter that everything was against you again. At least now you finally have Aleksander with you. YOUR real Aleksander.
"She had already called me a blind fool before she made me come here. I think we'll hear a lot from her about our stupidity." he murmured. You shivered as you felt his fingertips on your neck as he untied your intertwined necklaces effortlessly. He unclasped yours and, with great delicacy, placed the ring on your finger.
"Remind me to thank your mother for making you come here later." you replied, making sure his wedding ring was on his finger as well. Maybe you won't scare all the bitches away from him, but at least you'll make it clear that he belongs only to you. After hundreds of years without him, you have the right to be territorial.
"Later?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You don't think I'm going anywhere other than your tent and your bed right now, do you?"
"Our bed." he murmured before grabbing you in bridal style and heading for your tent. "By the way, I must commend you for how bravely you resisted the charms of someone who wasn't me. I barely managed to kiss you properly before you pushed me away."
"I don't know what I should do to you. Slap you for groping someone who had my face, or kiss you for only being attracted to my beauty."
"You have to admit, you didn't resist me much back then, my little saint." he murmured, kissing you again. He ran his hand through your hair, pulling you all the way onto him so he could feel your weight on him. You were with him. Body and soul. And it wasn't a dream. "Let's go to that tent before I have my way with you here and now." he muttered, getting up.
"Wait." you grabbed his hand. He turned to you, giving you a questioning look as he found you still kneeling on the grass. "Before we do anything. We both agree that we are not going to destroy the fold, right?"
Aleksander held his breath. He forgot how damn perfect you were. How you fit in and understood him in every way. And only the slight ounce of control he had left was keeping him from lunging at you right now as you kneeled in front of him with those beautiful, mesmerising eyes staring at him.
But after all, Aleksander was only human. A man whose cruel fate separated him from his beloved wife for many centuries…
He pulled you close to him in one swift motion. You crashed into his chest, completely unprepared for the sudden movement, but his intoxicating lips on yours compensated for your shock.
You moaned into his mouth as he pulled away from you so as not to lose his control completely.
"Saints, you have no idea how much I've missed you, my little moon."
"I'll take it as a yes." you replied, giggling as he put his arm around you. As you'd guessed, you fit perfectly with him under his cloak. You sighed, intoxicated by his scent.
"You know so well that I'll do anything for you. The fact that our plans coincide only proves that we belong to each other. And only to each other."
"Always, Sasha. I'm yours for eternity." you replied, smiling slightly as you turned to steal a glance at him.
"And I'm yours for the rest of our lives and beyond." he murmured, kissing your forehead.
You practically ran through the camp, ignoring Baghra's knowing, malicious look and the shocked expressions of Alina, Zoya, and Ivan (at which you giggled, causing Aleksander a small, tender smile) and Fedyor's smirk. You entered his tent, laughing as you started kissing while taking off each other's clothes.
"I hope you realize we don't leave this tent for at least a week?" he asked as he laid you down on the bed. However, the bastard didn't wait for your response, stealing a kiss from you.
"They'll be looking for you, Sasha." you mumbled between your kisses and grabbed his cheeks to make him focus on something other than your lips.
"What a pity I'll be too busy with my wife to notice anyone else but her." he lowered his head to your neck, making your hands tangle in his hair. You sighed, feeling his tongue on your skin just before he gently bit you.
"I thought we had a battle to win." he suddenly stopped all his movements. He intertwined your ringed hands and cupped your cheek with the other, forcing you to look into his eyes.
"My little moon, I'll postpone any goddamn war for you. There is nothing in this world more important to me than you and never will be." he promised, pressing his lips to yours.
You moaned, enjoying the long-forgotten feeling of his skin against yours as well as knowing that your love would never die.
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muddyorbsblr · 5 months
Text
bigger than the whole sky [rtc what if…?]
'relinquish the crown' masterlist See my full list of works here!
BE WARNED SPOILERS FOR THE LOKI SEASON 2 FINALE AHEAD
Summary: What if…you'd broken Frigga's memory spell without Loki? | Your search for your husband leads you to a peculiar void beyond the Nine Realms, to a place that vaguely resembles the Tree of Life that you'd only read about in historical texts.
Pairing: Loki x Reader
Word Count: 3.3k
Warnings: angst with no happy ending in sight; this is in the RTC universe so…themes of incest if you squint; Loki S2 finale spoilers; slight violence in the beginning [let me know if i missed anything!]
Things to be aware of: gonna repeat it again…Loki S2 finale spoilers ahead; no prior reading of RTC is required to suffer enjoy reading this story
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"I will ask you one final time, you sadistic hedonist," you panted, taking a moment to lean on Stormbreaker while the eccentric tyrannical leader of Sakaar laid bleeding on the ground. One hand clutched his abdomen where you'd struck him, the other gingerly held his broken nose.
This wasn't something that you enjoyed doing, putting others through pain. But knowing Loki's history with this Grandmaster long before you two had met was easing your worry somehow that you were doing something reprehensible. There were pains that your beloved, even after all the time you'd known each other prior to your betrothal and marriage, were not quite ready to share with you.
His time in Sakaar was among those pains.
That knowledge alone was enough to get you to stop catching your breath, marching over to the Grandmaster and pinning him to the ground with the end of your battle axe's handle.
"Where is Loki?"
"Lady, I already told you back in the viewing box, I haven't seen your u--Agh!" You pressed Stormbreaker's handle harder against a tender spot on his shoulder, his body visibly showing signs of surrender before he started tapping on the floor. "Alright I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whined.
"Shall we try this again, then?" He did his best to nod his head, sighing heavily. "Where did you last see him?"
"I swear to you on my Champion's grave it's been millions of years for me here in Sakaar," he choked out, still audibly struggling to draw in his breath. "It was a time he didn't even know you yet. You probably hadn't even been born."
"So you truly bear no knowledge of my husband's whereabouts?"
"Your hus--I thought he was--"
"Mind your words, charlatan god." He let out another groan of pure agony as you pressed harder on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I'm sorry! I--I really don't know where he is, Your Highness, I don't--"
"Then what use are you to me," you said darkly, another corner of your soul feeling ass if the lights had gone out. Another dead end.
You took a dagger out with your free hand, the Grandmaster's pleas of mercy sounding muffled as they fell on your dulled ears. Nothing he had to say could spare him now; to you, he was no longer a lead, a well lit path that could perhaps point you to where Loki had been all this time.
Now he was simply a shadow of your husband's past. Something so dark that he didn't even dare let you know about it.
Despair began to seep into your veins, a single question overtaking all other remotely coherent thought. Would you ever find him? Would you ever get to apologize? To tell him how you felt? How you'd always felt?
Before you could strike, a loud crack resounded throughout the Grandmaster's suite, coming from a glowing green portal that appeared in the center of the room.
"I would probably take that call, if I were you," the Grandmaster quipped, exhaling a large sigh of relief when you removed the weight of Stormbreaker off of him as you stepped toward the portal. Once the threshold had begun to close after you stepped through, he let out a final sentiment. "Please say hello to your husband for me when you find him."
That was more than enough for you to decide throwing your dagger into the small opening that remained, hitting the smug anachronistic bastard on his uninjured shoulder.
Then the portal finally closed, leaving you in a place you couldn't quite describe. All you knew was that it felt like a place you should never have been allowed access to. A place that should be beyond you. Beyond anyone.
Winding, glowing vines surrounded you, each of them looked and sounded as if they were teeming with a life of its own. If you listened carefully you could hear voices. Your voices. Infinite iterations of them. But one rang clearer than every other in the entire space.
"Did I do something that angered the Norns so fiercely that they condemned me to love a man I could never have?"
"I know what it feels like to kiss him. To touch him. To be desired by him. And it's ripping me apart to know that I will never know that again."
"The people will look at this union and see it for what it is. Sinful. Shameful!"
You tried to block the memories out of your mind, of you begging your grandmother Queen Frigga to lock your memories away. Of arguing with your grandfather Odin and with your father Thor because they were signing your life away to marry Loki. Of the harsh words you spat at them all behind closed doors.
Of the day the lock on your mind finally broke, after finding your journals prior to the spell being cast chronicling how you'd fallen for the god despite your better judgment. The head-splitting agony of your memories reconciling and finding their place back in your mind.
An agony suffered in your lonesome while Loki was away on assignment.
You scrambled desperately to think of anything else, to follow along the path of the vines and hear something other than your own mistakes being echoed back at you. These desperate attempts made you realize that the vines converged in a structure that eerily resembled an image that you'd only learned about in your youth.
"Yggdrasil?" you whispered in awe, your feet bringing you closer still until you found a parting just large enough for one to squeeze through.
Once you'd finally freed yourself from the winding vines, all air left your lungs at the sight that greeted you. A golden throne at the heart of the tree. All the vines anchored to the man -- or God, rather -- seated in it.
Loki.
"You've left quite a trail of bodies in your wake throughout this quest of yours, little Princess," he spoke, not moving even a fraction from where he sat.
He gave you a soft smile, tears beginning to form in his eyes as he stared at you. As if he couldn't believe you were here with him.
"It's been too long, my darling wife."
You'd rehearsed time and time again throughout your search for your husband what you would say to him once you'd been reunited. You would tell him how wrong you were for how you behaved throughout your betrothal, your marriage. And you would abandon every shred of your pride and beg for his forgiveness. You would tell him you loved him, that you'd always loved him.
And that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him.
Yet somehow you could form none of those words. Instead you finally felt your body succumb to the tiredness brought about by the centuries you'd spent searching and laying waste to every imaginable corner of the Nine Realms and beyond for even the slightest shred of a clue as to where he could have been.
Instead you sunk to your knees, the tears streaming down your face as you stumbled over your words. "I remember everything. I had to find you. Tell you that I'm--"
"I know you are, my love. I watched you on the day the spell broke, the day you finally remembered. I wanted so desperately to come home to you. To not let you have to endure that pain alone."
"Why didn't you?" you blurted out, staring at all the vines he held in his hands. "What are all these?"
"Timelines," he answered you simply, giving you a minuscule shrug of his shoulders. "In every single one, there is an iteration of you and me. Some circumstances may differ, minor details. But at the heart of each of them, we live a life together. We find each other, fall in love. In some we even start a family."
"A family," you repeated breathlessly. The knowledge that each vine -- each timeline -- that was anchored to him held a variation of you and him, of your story, began to eat away at you, flooding you with guilt.
How wretched did you have to be that in your timeline you'd rejected him? Foolishly pushed him away with every mistake you made until finally it took you centuries to find him again?
"What happened?" you finally spoke after what felt like hours. "How did you get--"
"That is quite the long and harrowing tale, darling. In truth, it was a cavalcade of miscalculations and bad judgment calls, failed attempts of trying to save all these lives until I realized that the result would always stay the same if the equation contained the same variables."
"And what was that result?"
"Annihiliation," he answered you simply, giving you a misty eyed look. "Every single strand of time that I hold safe now would have been obliterated on sight. I know it. I've seen it. I've seen you disintegrate before me too many times than I wish to count. The device that once held them stable could no longer scale for an infinite number of possibilities, and letting countless timelines die in the name of the survival of a few was…unacceptable. The only thing that could carry a burden that great was--"
"A god," you finished, the words fighting you their entire way out, nearly choking you on the weight of them. The question that you wished to raise crippled you with its answer's implications. For you and your timeline specifically. "What happens if you let go?"
"It dies. Slowly. Drifts away until it eventually turns to ash." He began to make a motion, as if to approach you, until ultimately he decided against it. "This was the only way. It remains the only way. I must stay, and keep them safe. Watch our lives play out in derivatives of what ifs."
The selfish question that danced at the tip of your tongue plagued you with even more guilt. But what about my timeline? What about our life together? "There has to be another way," you grumbled, stubbornly shaking your head as if you were once again a toddler, refusing to accept the world for being what it was rather than what you wished it would be. "I could stay with you. I could stay and we can find a way together."
Your heart splintered watching him shake his head at you. "My beautiful headstrong wife," he breathed out, his tone filled with both fondness and heartbreak. "I can't in my good conscience let you abandon your life just so you could stay here with me. That would be too selfish, even for me. What would you have here?"
"You! I would have you. All these centuries I've spent in a desperate scramble to find you and tell you that I lo--" You found yourself completely choking on the words now, never having to articulate them before. "That I love you. That I've always loved you and I want us to start our lives together. I refuse to accept that after all this time I have to let you go. You can't make me."
"Asgard needs you, its future Queen."
"And I need you!" Your voice finally broke, sobs that you'd fought inside starting to bubble up. "It isn't fair that you hold all these different tellings of our story in your hands, but your story, yours and mine, ends in us apart. That you spend your days here, watching our life play out somewhere and somewhen else, and you're alone. Please don't send me away, husband," you began to beg. "Don't make me leave you. Let me stay."
He let out a sharp exhale, a tear escaping his eye, rolling down his cheek. "I've longed for the day I would hear you call me that," he sighed, a rueful smile gracing the handsome features that you were bereft of for centuries. "Truly I didn't think I would ever see you again, Y/N. My Y/N. I never thought that I would have you before me, and I hear those words you would only say in dreams with my own ears. Thank you, my dear heart. You have given me a gift in this quest of yours, in having a final moment with the woman I love…" More tears rolled down his cheeks when his smile widened before finishing his sentiment. "And the woman that loves me."
Your sobs filled the endless space, your body collapsing onto the ground as your grief overtook you. The notion of grieving for the living never seemed sensical to you until now. Now that the man, the god, you loved was calling this the last time you would ever see each other.
And you knew in your heart that with the power he wielded now, he could make that your reality without even lifting a finger. He could push you out of this void and back into any timeline of his choosing just as easily as he pulled you out of Sakaar.
The feel of familiar large hands pulling you up to your feet startled you, only having the briefest moment to look at your husband before he pulled you into a crushing embrace. You didn't think twice before wrapping your arms around him, holding him as close as you could and sobbing into his shoulder before realizing…
If his hands were on you, then why were the vines still in place?
"Loki," you sobbed. "Husband, please. No illusions."
"I can't hold you," he said, choking back his own sobs now. "I couldn't watch you break like this and do nothing." The duplicate he cast to hold you disappeared from your hold in a flash of green. "I've done it before against all my better judgment, I refuse to do it again."
"Then don't." Against your own better judgment, you stomped your foot, like a bratty child being told you had to go home. Which was almost precisely what this was. "If this is where you are and where you will remain, then this is where I wish to stay. With the god that owns my heart. With my husband." You blinked rapidly to expel the tears that blurred your vision before uttering the words that splintered at your heart even more. "I was made to be yours. You said that."
"And I yours," he finished, averting his gaze, letting his own tears drop to the fabric of  his trousers. "In every timeline. We must take solace in knowing that among these infinite tales, one is ours. What could have been ours."
"What should be ours," you insisted. You made your way over to him, placing your hand on the side of his face. He closed his eyes, leaning into your touch, the sight breaking your heart further. "Our story deserves its bliss-laden epilogue, too."
"Not at the cost of everyone else's. Deep down you know this to be true."
"That does not mean I accept it," you grumbled. "Let me stay."
"You know that I can't. I will not subject you to live out the rest of your days here. Without friends nor family, and only a husband that cannot even hold you as company."
"But at least you would have someone to hold you," you argued, throwing your arms around him and letting your tears flow once more. "I can't just leave you here all on your own. You can't make me." You knew that he damn right could.
"My love," he sighed, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple. "I wish for you to live a long, and fulfilled life. You've lost so much time in your search for me only for it to end like this. I can give you those centuries back, as a final gift. Reverse the clock, undo the toll it took on you. Let this be the final token of my affection. My fealty. My undying vow."
"Let me keep my memories," you pleaded, already feeling that this would truly be your final moments with him. You did not need to turn your gaze to know that the portal leading back to Asgard was there, waiting for you. Perhaps he would simply nudge you through with his mind, knowing that you would refuse to leave. "Let me keep my remnants of you if that is all that I can leave this place with."
He nodded once. "Very well, little Princess. When you walk through the portal only the physical years will be stripped away. Live well, and remember always that I love you. My heart will only ever belong to you. Until the end of time."
"I love you," you choked out through your tears. "Husband." Your heart ached at the sight of his tears, not bothering to fight back the urge to kiss them away. "I will miss you desperately and always. In every step that I must take in this life without you."
"You will always have me by your side," he swore. "When you feel a presence you cannot see, in gentle breezes within a still room. I will always be there."
You continued to wipe his tears away, the god constantly kissing at your palms. Seemingly refusing to let you go, too.
"May I kiss you?" you asked, barely audibly, your voice unable to even completely form the words. "One last time?"
He gave you a small nod, and you leaned in to press your lips to his, trying to pour out your years of lost time and the future that you were doomed to lose in just a few short moments into that single kiss. You could feel that when he kissed you back, he did so with both all the love he'd never been able to give you before, and the love that he would never be able to bestow in the future.
It was a kiss of finality. A kiss of goodbye. A bittersweet final page in the story of you and Loki.
I love you more than words can ever say, his voice echoed in your mind. Goodbye, my love. My fated. My darling wife.
When you pulled away he was gone. And you'd been returned to your shared chambers back in Asgard. As he promised, the physical toll the centuries-long search had taken on your body were gone. No more scars from miscalculated skirmishes. No more bruises from Sakaar.
No more physical reminders of what you'd endured trying to reunite with the love your life.
All that remained were the memories of those years, and your time in his domain beyond the Realms.
"Goodbye, my darling husband. My love. My Loki," you whispered into the quiet of your marital chambers, sinking to your knees once more and letting out a shriek of pure agony, the sobs swiftly returning and wracking your entire body as you lay pathetically on the floor.
"Y/N??"
The sound of your mother Lady Sif's voice provided little comfort, but it felt like a familiar balm. "Mother," you said weakly, unmoving from your spot on the ground even as she rushed to you, cradling you in her lap.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" She stroked your hair while your tears soaked her sleep dress. You felt her wave someone over, and moments later you felt your grandmother Queen Frigga's presence in the room with you.
"I lost. I lost and I know not what to do now," you managed to say through your tears.
"What did you lose, Daughter?"
You'd briefly considered explaining your journey, from breaking the spell, to your journey through the centuries, to Loki's domain beyond the reach of space and time. To relay what had become of your husband.
Ultimately the words were beyond you due to your grief.
"Everything," you answered her, holding on to her tight as if you were a child again. This would be the only semblance of comfort you would have. "I lost everything."
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A/N: I had to after that finale had me processing and feeling the big sad all day, I promise I'm working on 2 other stories based on the finale that have kinda better endings.
Also I sobbed throughout writing this entire thing, just for the record.
Now here's the song to add to the vibe:
'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog
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trashywormeateroffics · 2 months
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hits different (natasha romanoff x female reader)
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the gif is not mine!
summary: in all the time you'd known natasha romanoff, there is one thing you knew for sure. there was no one like her. and if she were to leave, you'd never move on. a song fic. hits different by taylor swift. (angst and then fluff!!!)
a/n: send me asks if you so wish to. im accepting taylor swift songs paired with natasha, bucky or loki. <3
masterlist
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in all the time you had known natasha romanoff, the one and only thing you were sure of was that there was no one like her. and it wasn’t because of how beautiful she was, and she was goddamn breathtaking, it wasn’t because she was skilled in a way no person was, or because she seemed to always know everyone’s secrets; no, that wasn’t it, the public natasha, the one everyone knew, respected and feared. it could’ve been that version of her, because that natasha was amazing, but private nat, as you called her, was, simply, out of this world. 
it all started as every problem does, with someone’s devilish smile. and lord, does she have the most tempting smile ever. it was simple after that, you became close, best friends, until the friendly hugs became more… intimate. until the friendly cheek kisses became full on make out sessions. it was easy with natasha, everything flowed perfectly. she knew you, and despite the last thing she said to you, you knew her. 
i washed my hands of us at the club
you made a mess of me
i pictured you with other girls in love
then threw up on the street 
it was a monday when natasha romanoff decided that she no longer wanted you. she had been acting strange and distant and it all seemed to click for her when that morning you decided to bake her some cupcakes. it might have seem silly to someone else, but that was your way of telling her that you loved her, given that your first kiss had been while baking some cupcakes for steve’s birthday last year. this time though, it was her birthday. 
she had been training with bucky in the compound's gym and she entered the kitchen sweaty with a reddened face. 
“nat!” you called her as you pulled the sweet goods out of the oven and glanced at her over your shoulder. 
“hey…” she looked around, almost as if looking for an escape. but you were too naive, too stupid to realize it, so you kept going. 
“happy birthday!” you turned around with the tray in your hands. her eyes fell on the cupcakes and for the first time since you knew her, you wished she wouldn't even direct her gaze at you. the look on her face made your stomach twist. the realization that crossed her features at your gesture, the furrow of her brows as she took it in, and, finally, the disgust at the thought of loving you too. in the two seconds all of this passed, you kept smiling like an idiot, hoping, hoping, hoping. 
“y/n,” she simply said and your smile fell immediately. 
“yeah…?” 
“what is this?” 
“cupcakes?” you said, more a question than a statement. almost as if you weren't sure. she took in a sharp breath through her nose, still looking at you. “i wanted to do something nice for you, and i know you don't particularly care about birthdays but i thought-” 
“no.” she cut your rambling off, shaking her head. “this is- this is not just cupcakes. and you know that.” you frowned. 
“then what is it?” 
“its-” 
“what?” you asked again, defensively. she was hurting you. she ignored you and distanced herself from you, and then she ruined your nice gesture with more distance. “what is it natasha?” 
she looked taken aback by your use of her full name, being used to you calling her a soft nickname. then she composed herself, looking at you coldly. 
“you can't do this.” she told you. 
“do what?” 
“don't play dumb.” she clenched her jaw. “you can't pretend that everything is fine. you know how i've been acting, you know i've been trying-”
 “you wanna break up with me?” you asked her, unwavering, putting up a strong front. she swallowed. 
“yes.” she admitted. 
“why?” natasha sighed, frustration lacing her sigh, almost as if she couldn't tell she was breaking your heart in a million pieces right then and there. 
“i can't- i never meant for it to get this far.” 
“you didn't mean to what? to lead me on?” you asked her but her gaze was on the ground. “look at me and answer the question!” you raised your voice. 
“yes!” she widened her eyes at her admission, surprised by her tone. natasha ran her hand over her reddened face. “yes.” she said softly. “yes… i didnt mean for it to get this far. i didn't mean for you to…” 
you nodded rapidly, repeatedly, almost mockingly. then you let out an incredulous laugh. 
“you didn't mean for me…?” you trailed off, waiting for her to finish her statement. 
“for you to make me cupcakes! for you to… to…” she didn't finish her sentence. for you to fall in love with me. 
“you didn't mean for that to happen? then why did you let it?” she didn't answer. “why?!” 
“you are hard to push away.” she might as well have grabbed a knife and stabbed you with it, to proceed then to twist it, repeatedly. the air was knocked out of you. what could you say to that? all those months you thought you were living a real life love story, a story worth telling the world, she was trying to get out of it but couldn't find a way to do so. that broke your heart. and it made you feel so stupid, it was blinding how embarrassing it was. defeated, you frowned and took a good, long look at her, pretending that was the last time you were going to see her. and truthfully, it was. that was the last time you were going to see nat, your love. so that's why you did the next thing. 
they say that if it's right, you know
“fine.” you dropped the tray and walked away quickly as the sound of the metal hitting the marbled floor resounded all the way to the end of the hallway. 
each bar plays our song
nothing has ever felt so wrong
she's everywhere. she haunts your dreams, and when you're awake, she haunts every place in the compound. she's not there physically– she has been avoiding you ever since she broke your heart– but her perfume, her laugh, her presence, they're all there. you're sick of it, sick of her memory, sick of your shattered heart. which is why you call her. 
oh my, love is a lie
shit my friends say to get me by
it hits different
it hits different this time
“i can't believe it, i'm gonna kill her.” wanda tells you when you finish your story. she is sitting next to you on a booth in a beautiful bar, far away from the compound. if only you would be able to appreciate the beauty. 
“you don't have to, wands. it's fine.” 
“oh yeah, it's so fine that you asked me to go to a bar! miss introvert!” she scoffs. “what an asshole. i'm going to knock some sense into her.” you fidget with the straw of your drink. 
“there is no sense to be knocked into her. it's simple. she doesn't love me back.” even though you say it nonchalantly, it suddenly feels like someone very heavy is sitting on your chest. your eyes begin to gather some tears, but you blink them away. wanda notices. of course she does. 
“hey. lets go dance. fuck her.” you nod and she grabs your hand and pulls you to the dance floor. before you leave the table, you grab your drink, feeling like you're gonna need it. 
...
“wanda! look!” you do a weird dance move and the redhead laughs, doing one herself. it's been a while since she dragged you to the dance floor, and you've had more than a couple of drinks, so you're, to put it elegantly, hammered. 
“i'm going to get another beer!” she yells over the music, and you nod, not paying much attention. you're having too much fun, dancing weirdly and forgetting your pain. 
not a lot of time passes when you suddenly feel a hand on your shoulder. you turn around, expecting to find wanda, but instead, there is a woman. a beautiful woman. 
“hey there.” she's looking at you amused, and for a second you think she's going to laugh at your dancing. “i've been watching you and your friend for a while. you seem to be having a lot of fun. mind if i join you?” 
oh. oh. well, hell yeah. 
she laughs and you realize you just said the last part out loud. you scrunch up your nose. 
“sorry, had too much to drink. i'm not going to have a filter now.” she tilts her head back as she laughs, and you notice she has dimples. “pretty smile.” you tell her as you point at her. “sorry.” 
“don't worry.” she puts her hand on your arm. “thank you. so, are we going to dance?” 
“yeah!” you nod enthusiastically and begin moving again, swaying your body from one side to the other. 
you're taken aback when she puts her hands on your hips and draws herself closer. maybe this is exactly what you need. so you hook your arms around her neck and begin dancing more suggestively. she smirks and pulls you even closer, your breaths mingling. she smells like vanilla and you close your eyes, preparing yourself. then, she kisses you. 
her mouth is on yours, and she smells like vanilla and tastes like cherries and she's beautiful and seems kind… 
but she's not nat.
you stop moving your mouth and she pulls away frowning. god, you miss her. 
you don't realize until a few moments later that she's saying something. 
“are you okay?” 
“what?” and that's when you feel them. hot tears are streaming down your face. she looks worried, but also uncomfortable. poor woman, she wasn't expecting to be a therapist today. “sorry. i'm so so sorry.” 
“hey, its okay. what happened?” 
“i broke up with my girlfriend last week.” you chuckle bitterly through your tears. “she broke up with me.” understanding crosses her features. “i'm sorry.” you repeat again, sniffling.
“i'm going to go get your friend, okay?” 
you nod and suddenly, the world is spinning. you didn't realize how drunk you were. she puts her hands on your waist to stabilize you and you let out a sob. this is such a mess. you're so embarrassed. and you miss nat. you just want to go home and crawl into her bed and let her kiss away all your tears and hug away your pain. but you can't. because she doesn't love you.
“i'll be right back.” and then she's gone. you look at her as she walks away, still crying. 
it isn't long before wanda is by your side, with the woman still there. you're surprised she hasn't run away yet. 
“babe! are you okay?” you shake your head, and she wipes your tears with her thumbs. “thank you, i'll take it from here.” she tells the woman, whose name you don't know. 
“what's your name?” you ask her, sniffling. 
“violet.” she smiles, pity dripping from her expression. 
“thank you, violet. and i'm sorry. you're so beautiful, i'm just-” 
“i know. it's alright.” she tells you. “and for the record, she's an idiot. you're the most breathtaking woman i've ever seen.” you purse your lips and look down, embarrassed. 
“thank you,” you mumble. 
“see you around.” and then, she's gone. 
“let's go get a cab.” wanda tells you, putting her arm around your waist so you don't fall. she doesn't seem drunk, unlike you. but, to be fair, you didn't really pay a lot of attention to how much she drank.
“yeah.” you nod. 
and i never don't cry (no, i never don't cry) at the bar
yeah, my sadness is contagious (my sadness is contagious)
i slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car
i stopped receiving invitations
you walk out of the bar and get into a cab. you're still crying, silently. and you're tired. and you're starting to get angry. so you grab your phone. the line stops ringing, and you know she can hear you breathe. 
“idiot.” you tell her. she doesn't answer. she doesn't hang up either. 
“y/n, put down the phone.” wanda tells you once she realizes what you're doing. but you get away from her. 
“you're an idiot, you know that natasha? that's what violet thinks. i'm breathtaking apparently.” you sniffle. “but you couldn't see that. i deserve more than that, more than you.” 
“y/n,” she says sternly. “where are you?”
“what do you care?” 
“i'll come pick you up, just give me the address-”
“i'm in a cab with wanda. and no, you can't pick me up.” you hiccup. your friend looks at you. “god, natasha. youre so… so…” wanda shakes her head. you look down at your hands.
“so what?” she asks you in a low voice, almost as if expecting the worst thing to come out of your mouth. 
“i'm sorry.” you blurt out. “i'm sorry i'm so hard to push away.” 
“y/n-”
“and im sorry i fell in love with you.” she falls silent. you sob silently. “goodbye.” and you hang up. 
“i don't know what im gonna do without her.” you tell wanda. 
“you'll be okay, y/n. you'll find someone wonderful who can give you what you deserve.” 
“yeah…” you wipe your tears with your hand and look out the window. you don't tell wanda that you don't want to find anyone else, that if it's not natasha, then it's you, alone. 
movin' on was always easy for me to do
it hits different
it hits different 'cause it's you
the next morning, you wake up with a splitting headache and you moan and grunt and thrash around your bed. after complaining for a bit, your mind is filled with images of last night. wanda and you talking, dancing. violet. violet dancing with you, then… kissing you. crying. calling natasha. wait. calling natasha? oh no. 
“fuck. me.” 
slowly, painstakingly slowly, you get out of bed, put on your socks, and head to the compound's kitchen. 
when you reach it, you don't expect to find wanda and natasha sitting there, but you do. 
as soon as you enter, wanda looks at natasha pointedly, then at you, and then leaves without a word. 
you nod at natasha as a greeting and go to open the fridge, but she's quick and blocks the door. you blink at her. you weren't expecting to find her there, and you were not, in a million years, expecting her to give you the time of day. 
“we need to talk.” you sigh. there's a few inches between you two but you can still smell her perfume. and it's killing you.
“if it's about the call, i'm sorry, okay? forget about it. just- pretend it didn't happen.” she looks at you. 
“i can't.” you take a deep breath. 
“i don't know what else to say. i'm sorry.” 
“could you stop saying sorry for a second?” she snaps. you frown. “i'm sorry, y/n. i am.” 
“for what, nat?” you sigh. “it's not your fault you don't love me.” 
“that's the thing.” she runs her hands over her face.
“what is?” 
“i do love you, y/n.” the world stops for a few seconds, but then you clench your jaw and shake your head. 
“is this because of violet?” she looks away. “you're jealous i'm trying to move on and so you manipulate me?”
“no, it's not like that.” you scoff. 
“please.”
“okay.” she nods. “i'm not going to pretend i care for you kissing another woman. i dont. i wanted to go over there and punch her.” against your will, butterflies swarm your stomach at her admission. “but- but that's not it.” 
“then what is it?”
“i realized- i've known i love you for a long time, y/n. but i'm- i'm no good for you.” you frown. 
“what?”
“you deserve more than someone who freaks out because you told them you love them. you deserve-”
“let me stop you right there.” you cut her off. she blinks, looking at you scared. but you give her a soft, small smile. “you love me?” 
“yes. so much.” 
“but you freaked out because you think you don't deserve me.”
“yes.” 
“and you lied to me. you told me you didn't feel the same.” she looks guilty. 
“yes, but-”
“no, no. let me finish.” you take a deep breath. “violet was right.” she clenches her jaw at the mention of her name. “you are an idiot.” she frowns. 
“um-”
“you're an idiot, natasha romanoff. but i can't live without you. and i don't ever want to.” her eyes soften, and fill with hope. 
“you're saying that you- that you forgive me?” 
“you really hurt me nat. but i should've known you'd do something like that. you're not the best at this feelings stuff.” she smiles sheepishly. 
“i'm not. but i want to be, for you.” 
“i know. and i trust you'll be. after all, you did just admit that you love me.” 
“yeah,” she chuckles, “it just took me breaking your heart.” you tilt your head. even though she's joking, you know there's guilt there. 
“hey,” you caress her cheek. “its okay.” she's looking at the floor now. “baby. it's okay, i promise.” 
“i'm really sorry. i promise you, i'll never do something like that ever again.” 
“i know,” you whisper, “now, are you going to kiss me or what?” she laughs and it twists your stomach into knots. god, you missed her. 
she grabs your face between her hands and puts her mouth on yours. the kiss begins soft, but after a bit it becomes desperate. 
“i missed you so much.” she says when she pulls away for air. then, she's back attacking your mouth.
“i love you.” you tell her, and you kiss her again, and again. 
“i love you too.” 
yeah, there was no one like her. 
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waywardcrow · 1 month
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I’d do bad things with you.
Summary: The day after the wedding, Bucky and his new wife go to Stark's house to plan their next step because that's why they are married, right? Not because they love each other.
Pairing: Mob!Bucky x Stark!reader.
TW: Really not so many, talks of murder but very lightly, implications of mafia kind of stuff but please remember all I know about this I learned from SoC and fics lol, allutions to death, mention of cheating and sex, lots of angst, curvy!reader, no mention of y/n and reader's nickname is Bells (context coming soon), kind of enemies to lovers but not really enemies, arranged marriage, this will be a +18 story so minors dni.
Disclaimer: English is not my first language, please tell me if I make grammar mistakes.
Part of the Yours to lose series.
All eyes on us <<<
Pictures from pinterest and graphic and dividers by the amazing @ firefly-graphics so all credits to the creators.
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Bucky didn’t dare to say anything when his wife closed the door of the guest room, how could he? His dragă asked for one thing: help to protect her family.
That didn’t mean she owned him something, she was his wife but not his woman, not anymore.
If only he wasn’t so impulsive, if he weren’t so blind to recognize what he had in front on him, they wouldn’t be in this situation, their wedding wouldn’t be an arrangement, he would had ask her to marry him instead of trapping her.
Still, he had hopes, he would never give up in getting her back, and when Bucky finally did it, he would make up for the lost time.
Alone in her room, Bells felt the Barnes’ family ring heavy in her hand, not only for the rose diamond, it was heavy because she didn’t deserve it. She was well aware she only had it because she ended up being a Stark, there was no way this could ever happen to her being the mistress on turn for the Winter Soldier.
And even knowing it, she missed those times.
Everyone that worked in the restaurant knew she was sleeping with him, they also knew it was better for their tongues that she never heard them talk about it, Bucky made an example of the first and only one who tried, a jackass named Julian who liked to make women uncomfortable.
After that, everyone turned a blind eye when Bucky when to the bar and talk to her for hours, when he called her to his office and she used disappeared in there to don't go back to work for the whole shift, they saw them going home at night, both being walking proof of the affair.
Her friends sometimes looked at Bells with concern; especially Kate but no one said a thing.
She would get in the car with Bucky who would try to convince her to stop working so he could spoil her and Bells would gave him the same answer, she only wanted him, not his money.
It was so stupid of her, to believe he could feel the same one day but how could she not think it when he played his part so well? Treating him like she was something delicate, something beautiful, she wanted to believe he could want her, love her.
That was why she spent most of the nights with him during the months her fantasy ran wild, she was even familiar with his men, Steve and Sam adored her, Scott, Thor and Clint were sweet with her, even the stoic Loki smiled sometimes at her jokes.
Bucky made her feel at home, she had free reign in the house except for his office and they found their routine very quickly.
Even in the nights Bucky couldn’t join her right after work, he would find her sometimes eating alone in the kitchen or taking a shower and he would made up to her, he was so tender with Bells, making her feel everything was right, maybe it was because she never had a real home and she craved it that she was so easy to fool.
After taking the dress off her and removing her make-up, the girl curled in bed, refusing to cry again for him.
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“Good morning, dragă, I made breakfast” was the first thing Bucky told his wife in the morning. His wife, he would never get tired of saying it even if it was only in his head.
She looked beyond beautiful, the ivory set of pants and jacket hug her curves and he was loving the cleavage cut he could see from his place in the counter. His wife looked like what she was, a Queen.
“Don’t call me that, James” hearing his name on her lips hurt but he deserved it, at least she didn’t call him by his last name.
Their last name.
“Does my lady prefer any other nickname?” he asked without stop smiling, serving her coffee like he knew she liked it.
“I have a name, stick to it”
Her name was beautiful, both of them, the one her parents gave her and the one he met her with but she was the woman he loved, dragă was really appropiate.
“You used to love when I called you that, I don’t think I should change it if we want this marriage to be believable” he shrugged, knowing well why his wife didn’t like it anymore.
“We made a deal, Barnes” oh, James was gone “you will not make anyone believe this after we deal with our enemies”
She really did believe he would give up on her, which almost made him smile. His dragă still had to learn a few things about him.
“You should eat, Mrs. Barnes, we have to be at your brother’s house in half an hour”
Bucky was the least happy about working with Tony Stark, he supposed they could have been friends in another circumstances but he hurt his sister, if Natasha would ever did the same to Becca, Bucky would never forgive her.
Thor drove them to Stark’s mansion and Bucky hated how at ease his wife was there, that wasn’t her home, not anymore.
Russo and Castle were waiting besides Stark who hugged his wife and kissed her cheeks, taking her away from Bucky, leaving him scowling beside Steve and Sam.
“You look like you drank your weight in alcohol, Billy” she giggled and Bucky’s heartache increased, when was the last time he made her laugh? He couldn’t remember.
“Are you trying to tell me something, topolina?” Russo inquired with an offended look while they walked to Stark’s office.
“Yes, she means you look like shit Bill” Castle answered before his wife could and they all laughed but Russo and Bucky, Sam and Steve were too busy talking with Thor to notice. He watched as they took her inside the house bringing back her sweet personality, all the love she felt for them that made him mad watching the “proof” of her betrayal slapping him in the face once again.
Maybe Hydra staged all that but it was his fault, his own insecurities and ghosts were what made her hate him and he couldn’t see the way out of the mess he created, not when the scars that piece of shit gave her in his murder attempt were visible every time Bucky could see her arms.
“Are you ok Buck?” Sam asked quietly, his gaze following Bucky’s, his dragă was smiling at Pepper and Tony, touching her sister in law’s bump. He might never get that with her and if it wasn’t with her- Bucky knew it now, if it wasn’t her, it was no one.
“I’m fine, let’s go”
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Pierce had endless resources, deals with powerful people, enough money to buy himself a kingdom, lots of people who would kill for him without hesitation but with all that, he had an Aquiles heel.
“We know he feels like he already won the reelection for Mayor but I’m not so sure” Bells projected a picture of a handsome man dark hair. He had a kind smile and even the red sunglasses didn’t disminished his likable aura “Matthew Michael Murdock was born and raised in Hell’s kitchen, he graduated Columbia with honors with his best friend, Franklin Nelson, the current District Attorney and he was a champion of the people as a lawyer in his neighborhood despite he had multiple chances to work for a big firm, all of that changed when his soon to be wife, Karen Page, got in the way of Wilson Fisk”
Billy raised his hand as if he was in a classroom.
“Why does this sound like someone talking about their crush and how this helps us?” next to him, Maria hit him in the head and he yelped “I’m just saying!”
“She has a point, you would know it if you let Bells finish” his sister smiled at her friend “please go on topolina.
“Thanks Maria, you’re right as always” Bells winked at her and Maria blow her a kiss “Murdock it’s going to help us beat Pierce in the legal side and meanwhile dear Karen would help us convince him to let us give his campaign a hand” there was a mischievous grin in her face that Bucky had never seen before and it took everything in Bells to look away from him.
Pepper then cleared her throat and Bells took her seat, everyone looking at the ginger.
“Since Fisk got killed in jail, Miss Page got out of witness protection and Mr. Murdock reinforced his fight against the system from the political side” Bells helped her showing reports of Murdock’s popularity, his good press, all the people that supported him “we are going to destroy Pierce taking everything from him. Natasha and Yelena are working with Wanda and Maria to take more territory from him, Madani and Torres keep going after his most powerful lieutenants just like we talked about the last meeting.”
The map in the screen showed the comparison of the before and after, all the east side of the city that once was Pierce’s now it was all theirs, there were still parts resisting the change, it would have been quicker if the group didn’t tried to make the transition the less bloody as possible.
It wasn’t about power, even if it was what their line of work demanded, it was about revenge.
Pierce took something irreplaceable from each one of them, it would be only fair they’d leave him with nothing.
This time Bucky catched Bells eye and refused to let her go.
If not for Pierce, maybe they still would been together but maybe not, Bells was so afraid to tell him the truth about who she really was when Tony found her and it just added to the impending disaster they were, they would been living a lie, she would have been just the mistress, the toy on turn for someone that didn’t loved her.
Bells had to remind herself she didn’t need Bucky, she couldn’t, not after being the target of his cruelness, she couldn’t wash the memory of him fucking Jenna on his desk after telling Bells he loved her hours before.
She knew the truth now, she couldn’t forgive him, not when Bells’ heart was still aching for Bucky’s betrayal, for his lack of faith in her, for his lack of love towards her.
On the other side, Bucky was proud of her, his dragă was born to rule at his side and he didn’t care if he had to hunt Alexander Pierce himself, he would do anything to do this right.
If the murder of his father taught him something, it was that he wouldn’t fix anything feeling sorry for himself, Bucky had all the chances in the world to make amends and he would pay for every mistake with the blood of their enemies.
Tag list: learisa blackhawkfanatic queerqueenlynn calwitch pono-pura-vida
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Hiya! This took me so long but it was only because I was stressing myself about it, then I decided to do whatever felt right and here we are! Also the nicknames I used here:
dragă: sweetheart.
topolina: little mouse.
Let me know what you think.
Love, Lily.
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Dirty Work 46
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Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.
Characters: Loki
Note: ugh i'm tiredddddd
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
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You stare in the mirror. Your nose is covered in bandages, your eyes swollen along the ridges, and your lip is puffy and split. Your makeup is ruined and your hair too. You are in tatters, the white dress rent to ruins.
Lapping water pours into the large porcelain basin as you lean on the counter, trying to see yourself under all the damage. After tonight, you don't think you'll be the same as you were. You thought before, you'd known the worst of it.
A new beginning and hopefully and ending.
Loki struts in behind you. He's slightly frantic in the way he paces restlessly around the suite. He goes to the tub, bending with a groan as he dips his fingertips in the water, testing the temperature. He adjusts the faucet and stands again.
His hairline is stained in blood and his face patched with dirt. He doesn't seem to notice as he comes up behind you. He looks at you in the mirror.
“You should wash up, get some rest,” he girds, “tomorrow we have long to go.”
“What about you?” You ask for what feels the dozenth time. 
“I'm fine,” he says despite the dark line of stitches through his brow, “I'm very fine.”
He's addled. You've never seen him anything close to unsettled. Not like this. You turn to face him and he shies away.
“I will let you clean up,” he says, “yes, yes, in the morning, I will retrieve the car and our bags…”
He floats back into the sweet and you hear him shuffling around, “...and we will drive away…”
He's almost manic as he rambles to himself. You stare after him. You leave the door open and slowly undress. As you graze the tender spots along your body, you wince.
Naked, you stare at the rising water. You look down at your body, slices along your limbs, scrapes across your skin, and a bite mark on your breast. You feel sick.
You lower yourself into the hot water but it can't cleanse you of the filth. The steam dampens your face as you lean back, closing your eyes. You're exhausted but the adrenaline lingers, keeping you awake.
He said you're leaving. You're going back home. His home. You're not sure you'll ever have one of those.
After a while, you do your best to scrub away the dirt and blood. You’re weak by the time you finish, barely able to lift yourself out of the tub. You emerge, hugging yourself in a towel as you go out into the suite. 
Loki paces, chewing his thumb as he goes back and forth, back and forth. He stops as he notices you. His lips clamp tight and he wordlessly grabs a white robe from the foot of the bed and unfolds it. He drapes it around you and takes the towel away. You tie the belt and cross your arms.
He pulls back the top of the pure white duvet and steps back. You sit on the mattress as he returns to his route, corner to corner at the foot of the bed. You watch him.
“Mr. Laufeyson…” you murmur.
“Loki,” he stops and faces you, “Loki,” he nods vehemently. “You can call me that.”
“Loki,” you remind yourself, “you should… sleep.”
“No, you must,” he waves you off.
“Please,” you go to get up and he rushes to block you, he stands close to the bed.
“I’ll sleep, when you sleep,” he says, “lay down.”
You swallow. You pull your legs up onto the bed and make yourself recline. He’s making you nervous.
“I’m sorry,” You say, “that I broke the rules again. I should’ve stayed close-”
“No,” he shies away, twisting on his heel, “it was me. I broke the rules.”
“You–”
“I should’ve accompanied you to the stalls. I could’ve waited closeby,” he throws a hand up, “she would’ve never… he wouldn’t… I didn’t follow the rules. I broke the rules…” his voice rises, “it isn’t you. It’s me. I cannot make the same mistake twice.”
You don’t know what to say. No, it has to be your fault. It’s always your fault. You are the one who makes mistakes. 
He stops and lowers his head, fluttering his fingers along the stained front of his shirt. He peeks up through his dark lashes, “you know I didn’t… didn’t want her to do that.”
“What?”
“Sif,” he hisses, “I didn’t want to kiss her… I wanted to kiss you… when we were dancing…” he looks away wistfully, “when I saw you in that dress…”He staggers as if he’s been struck, “sleep, pet.”
“But you…”
“Enough,” his voice deepens.
“I can’t sleep, not if you don’t.”
He shrugs and plays with the loose tail of his shirt, “I’m filthy.”
“Go, take a shower, you’ll feel better.”
“I won’t,” he avows, “not until we are gone from here.”
He turns and marches away, leaving the door open as he disappears into the bathroom. You cross your arms over the top of the duvet and sink into the fluffy pillow. You listen as the shower springs to life and let the tension drain from you. The soft buzz of the pipes puts you to sleep nearly as soon as you close your eyes.
When you wake, you feel heavy. The world comes back in fragments. The music, the dancing, running, falling in the dirt, Fossegrim’s shrill squawking, and a weight on top of you. You sit up, heart racing and look around. Then the rest, fleeing the house, the hospital, and finally the hotel.
You sidle to the edge of the bed. Loki isn’t there beside you. Your stomach plummets as you don’t see him anywhere. Did he leave you?
You get up and fix the loose robe around your figure. You near the bathroom door but a dark shape in the corner of your eye distracts you. There, on the sofa, Loki dozes, legs bent to fit, an arm under his head. You frown, wondering why he didn’t share the bed.
You look around and go to the long table against the wall. You flip the switch on the electric kettle and wait as it hums to a boil. You put a tea bag in each cup and pour the hot water. You take each by the handle and approach the low table before the couch, setting them on the thin coasters.
You round to the sofa and stop before Loki. His face is bruised, he sleeps in a robe as fluffy and white as your own, his hair askew but his face tense. You reach to gently squeeze his shoulder as you say his name.
One eye pops open and his green iris moves to look at you. He opens the other and shrugs you off as he sits up abruptly. You take a step back.
“I made tea,” you offer.
He looks past you to the table. He frowns. He frames his forehead then pushes back his dark hair. He stands and strides away from you. He doesn’t say a word as he escapes onto the balcony, pulling shut the sliding door behind him.
You shake and clutch the front of the robe. It’s worse than you thought. He’s mad. You expect as much. You know you’re going back to nothing. He probably won’t even let you past his front gate. Back to your father to grovel and if he won’t even have you, you suppose you might find a shelter.
You sit, not knowing what else to do, and take a cup of tea. You peer into the steeping depth and sniff. You hurt, from head to toe, but nothing is worse than the pit sinking deep in your chest.
The tea goes cold as you wait. When he comes back in, he dresses in his stained white clothing. You get up and put your cup down. You go to him and he sidles away.
“You must stay here,” he says as he skirts around you. He goes into the bathroom and you follow him, standing in the doorway as he uses the cheap hotel room comb to tidy his hair.
“Why?”
“Pet,” he puts the comb down and reaches for a plastic wrapped toothbrush. “You’ll be safe.”
It’s a kind lie. The one you tell when the truth has to wait. You slouch and inch back on your heel, “right.”
You retreat and walk numbly across the suite. You look out the large windows onto the city. Your head spins again. You should sit down but you don’t think you can stay still.
“I won’t be long,” he says as his keys jingle, “you may call down to the lobby, get something to eat. It’ll all be added to the bill.”
You don’t look at him, “thanks.”
He sucks in air as if he means to say something then lets it out, “not long at all.”
You stay as you are until he’s gone. The door closes, the lock beeping, and you nearly collapse. You wade over to the bed and flop onto it. You just want to sleep but your mind won’t stop.
Loki returns nearly an hour later. He offers a fresh set of clothes and not much else. No explanation, just a sense of urgency and evasive looks. You wonder what transpired at the Odinsons manor but you don’t dare ask. Did he tell them everything? Or nothing at all?
You check out of the hotel, his car waiting in the lot. You’re too tired to think anymore. The motion of the car soothes you and your achy body.
You peek over at him, his shoulders tense, his posture stiff, wondering how he can go on so easily. The bruises on his face, his reddened knuckles, and the blows you saw him take, it has to hurt.
You waver between consciousness and sleeping. The long hours lull you along with the silence. Time feels as if it’s standing still yet passes nonetheless. As he pulls up to the familiar gate, you grasp the interior of the door and sit up.
This is it. The final verdict. He drives inside as the gate rolls shut behind him. He turns off the engine and unbuckles his seat belt. He gets out first and as he struts around to your side, you do the same. You wait for his directive.
“Come.” That’s it. That’s all he says.
You follow him inside. Is this it? Will he tell you to pack your things and go? Perhaps he has a lecture for you, worthy only of those grim walls. You put yourself in danger, it’s your own fault, you’re just a stupid little maid.
Little maid…
Your skin crawls as you shake off the memory. You trail Loki upstairs and down the hall. He surpasses the study and the library, he leads you into the bedroom and you hesitate at the threshold. Oh, that must be what’s wrong. Thor touched you in ways only he should. You have to show him it meant nothing.
You touch his hand as you come close and he recoils. You’re breathless at the rejection. That’s not it either. Well, you don’t have much to take with you. You suppose you should get your things ready.
“The doctor says you need rest,” he speaks at last, “please.” He goes to the dresser and pulls a sleek nightgown out.
“Loki..” you eke out.
“Whatever you need, I can fetch. Of course, I will bring up the bags as well.”
“Loki,” you repeat.
“Some tea, oh, and that gas station junk will hardly suffice. You must have a proper meal–”
“Loki,” you say more firmly, “what’s going on?”
He shakes his head and looks away, “lay down.”
That’s an order. You lower your gaze and obey. That’s the only way you’ve ever made him happy and right now, he’s miserable. You go to the bed and take the nightie. He leaves, closing the door behind him.
You change and he returns not long after. As promised, he has the bags. He unzips yours and finds the volume gifted to you. He hands it over.
“I don’t know how much reading you feel like doing,” he says.
You thank him and slide your legs under the blanket. It does feel nice to relax. Better to be in one place. You lean into the pillows and hug the book. He brings over your laptop and opens it up. You blanch, horrified as he lets the desktop load.
He pulls up the brows and you watch his fingers flutter over the keyboard. You furrow your brow curiously as he navigates smoothly. He logs in and brings up a menu of titles.
“In case you desire something to watch,” he stands and angles the screen towards you, “keep your mind busy.”
“You’re leaving?” You ask.
“There is much to do,” he says, “we’ve been away a while.”
“The doctor said you too–”
“I’m fine,” he insists, yet again.
You relent. He won’t listen to you. It’s as if he barely hears a word you say. He’s so swept up in whatever storm is swirling in his head.
“If you need anything, you may send me a text,” he instructs, “but you will rest and you will go no further than the bathroom.”
“Yes, Mr– Loki,” you catch yourself.
“Very good,” he sets his shoulders and spins on his heel.
When he’s gone, you scroll through the titles on the screen. The colours make your head hurt. You choose a show you recognise, a British serial they used to play on the public channel. You turn down the brightness and close your eyes, listening to the low murmur of the dialogue.
You drift on a shallow wave, not quite awake or asleep. The world sways around you as the actors’ voices garble to a soothing hum. Despite the calm of the moment, your heart is uneasy. This won’t last. You will heal soon enough.
You catch yourself snoring and jolt yourself awake. You groan, stiffened from the tumultuous night and the long drive. Ugh, you need to pee.
You get up and relieve yourself. You take your time washing your hands and splash water on your face. It feels nice as your head rattles with each move. You’re thirsty. You come out into the bedroom, foggy as you shuffle around.
You go to the door. You’ll just sneak down and grab a glass. You can make it that far. The handle doesn’t turn. You jostle it, wiggling it, wrenching it, but it doesn’t turn. Huh?
You shake the door in the frame. Locked? Why? He can’t do this. He can’t lock you in like an animal. But he can for isn’t that what you are to him? Pet.
194 notes · View notes
Note
How about hands/fingers kink (not sure if this sort of kink even exist 😅)
Oh, it does. Ask anyone in the SAS, finger/hand kink sure does exist...
"Delicious"
Forced to stay over in a small town during a snow squall, you and Loki share a finger-licking good meal by the fire.
Content Warning (18+): smut, finger-licking, fingering...fingers Word Count: ~600
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“At least they deliver in this weather,” you said between bites of chicken wing, hot sauce smeared all over your hands even after repeated attempts to wipe it away. “I thought we were going to have to eat the furniture if the blizzard didn’t let up!”
You sat on the floor in front of the roaring fireplace in your hotel room, eating crappy chicken wings from the only place in the tiny town you were stranded in that had remained open during a somewhat-sudden nor’easter. The wings were overdone and slathered in hot sauces to the point of such excess that Loki had tucked a napkin into his collar, and you’d already gone through every paper towel that the receptionist could find. 
Loki shrugged. “I suppose. I would rather be back at headquarters dining on something a bit less…slimy?”
Cringing, you quickly expressed your displeasure.. “Ew, don't call it that. ‘Slimy’ makes me think of slugs. It’s…saucy.” 
A thought invaded your mind: I could be “saucy” right now. 
You were glaring at Loki’s hands, also covered in dressing, as he attempted to look like a prince while dining on cheap pub fare that he could use for paint. In spite of the mess between his fingers, his hands captivated you. They were sculpted, strong, and graceful, which you imagined came from his years of studying how to do magic with those hands. 
You could practically feel the spots on your skin where he could tuck those long, nimble digits. And those perfectly-kept nails, that were just long enough for him to gently run down your back, targeting the ticklish spot you had just above your ass. 
And oh, how far inside you they could go, how intimately they could examine the ever-growing heat between your thighs. Your minds was drifting further and further away as the fantasy grew: tapping on your clit, tracing circles around your swollen lips, digging deeply into you before--
“--uh, Agent?”
Loki had noticed your stares. Raising a pleasantly curious eyebrow, he taunted you in the manner he secretly knew turned you on. “Do my hands fascinate you?”
You felt the embarrassment paint itself all over your face. 
“Oh. no need to feel ashamed,” he said, turning his intrigued face into a dark, sensual, hungry grin. “Please admire them. Each finger is a master of its craft, worthy of only the most elite sorcerers.”
He shifted over, sitting next to you, hips touching. Without breaking eye contact, he pulled the sauce-smeared napkin out of his collar and threw it over his shoulder before leaning over you, boldly. You leaned back, afraid to blink. 
“Now that we’re through supper, how about a spot of dessert before bed?”
Taking two of his fingers, he ran them, sauce and all, gently over your lips, using the tips to pry them open just enough to insert them into your mouth. 
Unable to help yourself, you moaned into his hand, which gave him an almost-instantaneous erection. “Fuck, do that again!” he commanded. 
You rolled your tongue around them and sucked them as far into your mouth as you could. Loki watched with almost predatorial interest. The sight of you nursing on his fore and middle fingers was making his cock twitch violently. Soon it would bust out of his pants if he weren’t careful. 
“I don’t know whether to throw you onto the bed or keep you here, looking pretty and desperate, forever.”
Without removing his fingers, you spoke as clearly as you could manage: “Bowff is gwood.” 
“I figured,” grinned Loki, slowly extracting his fingers, soaked in your saliva. “Perhaps now you’ll return the favor and let me taste that delectable little cunt of yours? I'm still hungry!”
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Hope it was ok! LOKI KINK DRABBLE MASTERLIST
Random taggies: @acidcasualties @loopsisloops @lokisgoodgirl @smolvenger @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @glitchquake @gruftiela @fictive-sl0th @meowmeow-motherfucker @muddyorbsblr
218 notes · View notes
michelleleewise · 10 months
Note
Hello michelle!!! For the sake of privacy you may call me Sage, but I love your work and I wanted to make a request for a fic. Completely okay if you're not up to it though. Don't stress yourself :)))
Here are a few points you can keep in mind while writing, the rest is totally up to you <3
¤ Loki and Reader have been sworn enemies ever since he came to the tower
¤ They 'hate' eachother but sometimes end up accidentally flirting
¤ Reader ignores the feels and gets with another person, much to the dislike of Loki and we get some jealousy scenes (if possible)
¤ Something happens with reader's,now ex, partner (cheating or sum) and loki unknowingly pokes fun at their relationship which causes reader to burst into tears. Loki's demeanor completely changes once he sees her current state and he becomes all soft and fluffy and calms reader down
¤ happy endings with confessions
TYYYY, ONCE AGAIN, LOVE YOU AND YOUR WORK 🥰
Hiiiii Sage!!!! Sorry this took a minute to get to!!! Thank you so much for sending this to me!! I absolutely love enemies to lovers🥰, this got a bit away from me and grew a mind of its own...I hope you don't mind!! I hope you like it!! 💚💚💚
====================================
I Hate You
Pairing: Avenger Loki x Avenger female reader
Warnings: self esteem issues, sexual innuendo, flirting, kissing, y/n's bf being a total ass, swearing, mentions of injury (not very graphic), mean Loki, insults, mentions of cheating (not Loki), crying, throwing things, yelling, jealousy, I think that's it....let me know if I missed something......
Summary: y/n and Loki have "hated eachother almost since he arrived back on earth....but are things as they seem.....
A/n- aahhh!! Again....this totally ran away with me!!! Sorry!!! (Or am i?.....hehe) aaaand a new pic! 😁 a very very special Thank you to @mochie85 and @high-functioning-lokipath for helping me work part my writers block and brainstorming with me! Your amazing!!! 💚💚💚
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You walked into the training room, setting your towel and water bottle down you made your way over to the mats, spreading your feet apart you bent over touching your toes standing back up you reached up to the ceiling before bending back over when you heard an all too familiar voice behind you "now that is a view I could get used to." He purred making you roll your eyes. You stood up turning your head to see the last person you wanted to "in your dreams Laufeyson." You sneered continuing your stretching "and who says I don't darling." He said slowly circling you "but in my experience, dreams are never as good as...reality." He said coming to stand in front of you. "Dont you have anything better to do....or anyone?" You snarked straightening out seeing a smirk spread across his face "is that an offer darling?" He asked taking a step closer "your disgusting" you said pushing past him heading towards the sparring mats.
"Come now darling, do you mean to tell me you haven't thought about it?" He asked quickly trailing behind as you stopped in the middle of the mat "I swear to God.." you sighed, freezing feeling Loki's warm breath on your neck "mmm I would allow that..." he breathed against your ear "in fact...I would expect it...demand it..." he whispered stepping close enough you could feel the heat from his chest seeping into your back "I would hear you screaming my name...and only my name...for all to hear." He continued, closing your eyes you felt him trailing his finger up your bare arm sending a shiver up your spine "but only if you were a good girl." He cooed nudging the shell of your ear with his nose "do you wish to be my good girl kitten?" He whispered, your breath hitching feeling his fingers slip under the strap of your tank top.
"can you picture it? I'm sure you have... Me taking you as you deserve to be...thoroughly..." he said shifting to your other ear "completely...your delicate walls clenching around me." He said, His words shooting straight to your core making you squeeze your thighs together. He huffed a laugh in your ear as his fingers traveled down towards the swell of your breasts "I know I can...and it is delightful." He said rubbing his nose along your ear "i...I hate you Loki." You gritted hearing him laugh again "mmm do you? Because your body tells a different story." He said tilting his head up "I can smell you kitten." He barely whispered, his lips ghosting your ear when your eyes shot open.
You quickly turned placing your hands on his chest shoving as hard as you could but barely moving him "oh dear...have I hit a nerve?" He laughed smiling at you. "I can't stand you." You growled watching him shake his head "you are incredibly pent up, I could help you release some of that...tension." He said taking a step closer "hate sex can be very...satisfying." He said, his smile spreading wider. God you wanted to punch him in his stupidly beautiful face. "Look Loki. I..." you were cut off as Steve walked in "y/n, can I have a word?" He asked making you sigh "uh oh...someones in trouble." Loki mocked laughing "you better run along kitten before you get put in time out." He snarked turning around. It took everything in you not to kick him in the back of the knee "now y/n." Steve said making you sigh. "Coming." You called out seeing Loki turn his head and wink as you walked over to Steve.
"What's up Steve?" You asked crossing your arms "walk with me." He said turning and walking out into the hallway as you followed behind him "we're getting a new member to the team, Jason." Steve said handing you a small file "I want you to be his go to on day to day things, showing him around, teaching him the ropes." He said as you nodded "he'll be reporting tomorrow so meet me at fury's office at six am sharp." He said turning continuing down the hall. You leaned against the wall flipping through the file "Jason eh?" Loki's voice sounded from behind you "can't you ever mind your own business?" You snarked quickly closing the file "now what kind of partner would I be if I didn't care hmm?" He asked crossing his arms
"do you try to be this insufferable or is it just your personality?" You asked turning to look at him "bit of both really." He snarked back "i do love to see how red your cheeks can get." He smirked down at you. "God I hate you." You sighed turning to head down the hall "oh I know." He called from behind you. Shaking your head you headed to your room, closing the door behind you you sat on the bed closing your eyes. "Dammit!" You yelled clenching your fists. You tried not to let him get to you, to goad you...but he always seemed to find a way to get a rise out of you and you hated it. You flopped back on the bed staring at the ceiling, if you were honest with yourself you didn't hate Loki...quite the opposite, but he had squashed any chance of anything ever happening between you practically as soon as he arrived. You took a deep breath, thinking back to that day.
You walked into the large ballroom, biting your lip you looked around the large crowd trying to find the one man you were here for. "Who is that gorgeous woman?" Nat asked coming up next to you "i...thanks nat." You smiled looking down "He would be an idiot to turn you down, now go get em tiger." She smiled nudging your side. You nodded as you set off on your mission, you wrung your hands together when you heard Thor's laugh booming through the room. You walked towards the blonde god when something caught your attention out of the corner of you eye. You glanced over seeing the God you were after walking out onto the balcony. "There you are." You said to yourself, smoothing your dress you followed behind him.
stepping out onto the balcony you saw Loki standing at the balustrade, his tall lithe frame clothed perfectly in his all black suit, hugging every curve of him to perfection as he sipped from his champagne glass. You opened your mouth to say something when another voice sounded from the shadows "I think she's going to ask you out." You heard, seeing Bucky step up next to him when you heard Loki laugh "please, me...go out with her?" Loki asked shaking his head "come on, y/n's a nice girl." Bucky said looking to Loki "she is insignificant...a weak pathetic little thing." He sneered looking out into the city "the day I do anything with her is the day I've lost my mind." He said sipping from his glass again.
You felt the tears prickling your eyes, closing them you shook your head when you heard your name "y/n? Are you ok?" Bucky asked as you looked up, your eyes meeting Loki's when you felt a tear stream down your cheek. "I...yes I'm fine...never better." You said quickly wiping your cheek you raised your chin "I think I need a drink." You said quickly turning back towards the doors "y/n...may I have a word?" You heard Loki's voice making you freeze. Everything he just said running through your mind "no Loki, you can't." You said turning your head to look at him "in fact, never speak to me again...Laufeyson." you sneered gritting your teeth when you saw something you couldn't describe flash in his eyes "very well." He said looking down to his feet as you turned and went back to the party.
You sighed at the memory, it had been two years since you had your dreams crushed, two years since you cursed Tony's existence when he decided to make you Loki's permanent partner on missions "but you guys work so well together." He had said making you want to punch him, two years you watched the man you had fallen for flirt with everyone but you. You rolled over looking at the clock you saw it was getting late so you decided to try to get some sleep before your new babysitting job started tomorrow.
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You walked into the kitchen, setting your purse down you opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water when the bane of your existence strolled in "well well, where are we off to?" Loki asked leaning on the counter "none of your damn business Laufeyson." You said turning to see your tormentor smiling at you "let me guess...date with the little boy?" He snarked walking around the counter "his name Is Jason, and your one to talk." You snarked back adjusting your low cut black maxi dress. "You know what y/n, you couldn't handle a real man." He said stalking closer to you making your eyes shoot up "and you have the emotional intelligence of a cucumber." You said matching his step "so why don't you run along to the bar and pick up one of your bleach blonde bimbos because that's the only woman who could tolerate you." You snarled as you came toe to toe with eachother
"atleast they would be able to satisfy me." He snarled towering over you "you wouldn't know how to properly service a man if you had a manual." He said smirking. Feeling your face heat up you raised up on your toes, even in your heels he loomed over you "you have no idea what I'm capable of...laufeyson." you said smirking back at him "you wouldn't even remember your own name when I was through with you." You said leaning closer, your chest brushing his, the cut of your dress pushing your cleavage up you saw his eyes quickly glance down before shooting back up "I would make you come so hard the only thing you would remember Is me." You whispered, smiling seeing his cheeks flush and his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard. "Hey babe, you ready?" You heard behind you, turning your head seeing Jason adjusting his tie "coming love." You said taking a step back from Loki you grabbed your purse turning to Jason "happy six months love." You said wrapping your arms around his neck smiling up at him, he was taller then you but considerably shorter then Loki "happy six months babe." He smiled back leaning down he gently pressed his lips to yours, feeling Loki's gaze on your back you tilted your head deepening the kiss hearing a low groan from behind you.
"Must you make such a display in a public area, I may lose my dinner." Loki snarked. You pulled back looking over seeing his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed "have fun with your hand tonight laufeyson." You said grabbing Jason's hand you pulled him behind you "night Loki." You heard Jason say but got no response "ignore him, He's just mad someone dropped a house on his sister." You said hearing Jason laugh you stopped and turned seeing Loki place his hands on the counter leaning forward shaking his head, his eyes screwed shut as he sighed. Maybe I went too far you thought when Jason tugged your hand "come on babe, we have reservations." He said as you nodded and followed behind him.
You couldn't get loki out of your head the rest of the night. Yes you bickered back and forth, but you don't remember seeing him look so defeated before. "Babe..." Jason said pulling you from your thoughts "yes...sorry I was lost in thought." You said looking over to him "its ok, I was gonna ask..." he started when you made it to your door "I heard what you said...to Loki." He said wiggling his eyebrows "oh! That...I was just trying to get back at him." You laughed looking down to your feet "well, I was thinking...we've been dating six months." He said as you nodded "and I was wondering if maybe....tonight we could...." he trailed off waving his hand in the air.
"Oh...umm..." you started, biting your lip when he stepped closer sliding a hand around your side "I wouldn't mind forgetting my name." He smiled when you placed a hand on his chest "I'm just...I don't think im ready yet." You smiled up at him seeing his face drop "well when do you think you will be?" He asked taking a step back as his hand dropped "I don't know. I just..." you shrugged looking down "I'll tell you as soon as I am." You said watching him nod "ok, goodnight y/n" He said leaning down kissing your forehead "Goodnight jason." You said opening your door slipping inside you quietly closed it behind you, pressing your back to the door closing your eyes, Jason's disappointed expression running through your mind.
You walked towards the bedroom slipping your heels off you flopped on the bed. It wasn't that Jason wasn't attractive, quite the opposite with his dark hair and blue eyes, but you had never been the type to fool around, wanting to find a deeper connection then just the physical. It's what caused your last boyfriend to "look elsewhere." You sighed laying back looking up at the ceiling "just do it y/n, your not a virgin." You told yourself rolling over you closed your eyes remembering all the times Jason had asked for more, waiting for you but you knew he was getting impatient. Smiling deciding you would invite Jason over for dinner and a little "dessert". You crawled up the bed climbing under the covers you snuggled down into your pillow trying to find sleep before your mission with his highness in the morning.
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It had been a week since your date with Jason and things were beginning to feel off. You had tried to text him a few times but all be gave you was short one word answers, causing your anxiety to rise remembering your ex "no, he wouldn't do that, he cares about me." You said to yourself as you walked into the training room "your late!" Loki yelled sternly making you roll your eyes "I'm here aren't i?" You called back tossing your things down "I have better things to do then to wait for you to detach yourself from that man child of yours." Loki growled as you walked over to the mat he was on pulling your hair up "mmm miss the company of your hand already?" You snarked as he stared you down "what I do in my chambers is not your concern." He snarled gripping his daggers tightly "are we going to train or not?" You snapped closing your eyes. "Oh, is someone feeling a little...frustrated?" He asked laughing "Shut up Laufeyson." You said gritting your teeth.
"Ooo someone's not getting serviced properly." He laughed again making you sigh. "And i see it isn't Jason." He continued making your eyes shoot open seeing Loki point to the door. You looked over seeing Jason walk in with Shanice, one of Tony's lab assistants. "It seems you made him forget your name as well." You heard Loki say as you watched the two face eachother, a large smile spread across her face as she ran a finger up his bicep. "My my, maybe I should have a talk with her as well...I've heard she knows what she's doing." Loki purred coming up behind you. "Screw you Loki." You said as you walked towards Jason "anytime darling." You heard Loki call out as you got closer to the two.
"ok, I'll see you later." You heard Shanice say as she winked and turned back to the door "oh, hey y/n." Jason said turning to you with a smile "Hey love, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to my room tonight?" You asked stepping closer to him "I was gonna make dinner, maybe some....dessert." you purred running a hand up his chest "ok, sounds good." He said stepping around you heading for the locker rooms. You looked over seeing Loki watching you intently "see you tonight love!" You called out seeing Jason wave his hand in the air not turning around. You bit your lip, your anxiety flaring again when your eyes met Loki's again, something you weren't sure of swirling in them...pity...anger... making you uneasy as you grabbed your things
"leaving so soon?" He asked walking over to you "it's none of your business Loki." You said quickly walking to the door. "I wager he'll he too occupied to show." Loki called out from behind you making you freeze. You slowly turned trying to keep the last of your composure seeing him smile "I'll gladly collect that when your proven wrong...laufeyson" you growled quickly walking out before he could open his big mouth again. You headed to your room, slamming the door behind you throwing your stuff on the couch "God I hate him!" You yelled clenching your fists. You took a few deep breaths before grabbing a clean towel and heading for the shower.
You set the table, rushing into the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the spaghetti dish you made before taking it and setting it on the table "perfect." You smiled smoothing down your deep purple dress, adjusting the lingerie underneath as you pushed your beasts up when you heard a knock at the door "one second." You called out, taking one last glance in the mirror you hurried to the door, opening it seeing Jason standing there smiling down at his phone "Hey love." You said as he looked up, his smile dropping "Hey y/n." He said as you stepped aside letting him in. "So, I made spaghetti...your favorite." You smiled walking over to the table seeing he hadn't moved from the doorway "a...and I was thinking...after dinner maybe we could." You started
"y/n, I dont want to see you anymore" Jason said crossing his arms in front of him "wha...why?" You asked taking a step towards him "because, I don't want to be with you." He said, his tone cold and emotionless "but i...we...we were fine....everything was fine." You said feeling tears well in your eyes "well maybe for you." He said taking a step towards the door "I'm a man y/n, I have needs." He said as his phone rang "speaking of." He said pulling it out answering it "yeah...just give me five minutes I'm almost done....ok love you too." He said as he hung up opening your door "jason..." you breathed taking another step towards him "get it through your head y/n, I don't want you...now if you will excuse me there is someone waiting for me." He said smiling "and she definitely knows how to make me forget my name." He winked closing the door as he left.
You stood frozen, staring at the spot Jason had just been when you heard your phone go off. You felt numb, moving on autopilot you walked over to the counter, your hands shaking as you picked it up, seeing a text from Loki you opened it "Stark just informed me we have a mission in the morning, do try to be on time." You stared at it, your mind still reeling as you attempted to process everything that just happened when another text popped up "but I am certain you will be done early." Tears pricked your eyes as you stared at the screen when everything hit you at once "Dammit!" You screamed throwing your phone across the room watching it shatter against the wall. Storming over to the table you grabbed the dish of spaghetti throwing it hard at the door, glass and noodles exploding against the wood, the screams burning your lungs as you sank to your knees on the floor. "Why am I never enough?" You whispered to yourself as you laid down, curling into a ball on the floor you clutched your knees to your chest as the sobs wracked through you.
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You looked across the bar, sipping your drink watching your target. You had been stuck on this mission with Loki for days and you were going crazy. Every snide comment cutting deeper and deeper as you still tried to process what happened the other night. Thankfully you were about to apprehend the hydra agent you were after so you could go back to the tower and lick your wounds in private when Loki's voice cut through your consciousness "are you sure you will be able to seduce him? I am not sure your his type." Loki snarked into the coms making you grit your teeth. You screwed your eyes shut as Jason's words echoed through your mind "maybe we should contact Shanice." He said laughing when your eyes shot open, looking across the bar your eyes met his seeing his smile drop. "Y/n?" He asked into the coms as you pulled it out dropping it onto your drink as you stood and began walking towards the agent.
"Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" You purred running a hand up the man's arm. "Not interested." He said not looking up from his phone "well how about a little fun then?" You asked stepping closer to him "I'm not into whores." He said finally looking up at you "especially ugly ones." He said laughing as he stood up "good luck." He snarked tossing money onto the bar as he walked off. You stood frozen staring at the bar when you saw movement out of the corner of your eye, looking seeing Loki punch the man in the face before dragging him through the door "shit..." you sighed quickly running after them you burst out the door looking around when you heard grunts coming from the alley
"how dare you speak to her that way." You heard Loki snarl as you ran into the alley "loki! What are you doing!?" You yelled watching him shove the man against the brick wall "securing the target, what else." He said holding the man there by the throat "we have to go!" You yelled hearing voices coming from further in the alley "I'm not through with this one yet." He snarled when a gunshot rang through the alley "Loki, let's go!" You yelled pulling your gun out from your purse aiming down the alley you fired a few warnings shots when you looked back seeing Loki slam the man's head against the wall as he slumped the the ground "loki, we..." you were cut off by a sharp pain in your shoulder knocking you off your feet "y/n!" Loki yelled as you sat up "fuck!" You yelled pressing your hand to your shoulder seeing red "Dammit!" You gritted as Loki walked over grabbing you arm pulling you up
"let go!" You yelled ripping your arm away "y/n, I was only.." he started when you looked up at him, seeing his eyes soften "get us back to the jet." You growled gritting your teeth as he gently placed his hand on your other shoulder, closing your eyes you felt the familiar tingle that came when Loki teleported you. Opening your eyes you saw that you were inside the jet "here, let me see." He said walking towards you "no, don't touch me!" You yelled storming to the back of the jet grabbing the first aid kit "stop being so stubborn and let me see it!" Loki demanded following you when you slammed the kit down "no! Haven't you done enough!" You yelled feeling the tears welling in your eyes as you looked up at him "just get us back to the tower so I can go back to my pathetic existence." You snarled ripping the kit open "y/n, i..." he started
"haven't you ruined my life enough?" You asked feeling the tears steaming down you cheek "you have made it abundantly clear how weak and useless I am, and guess what...you were right!" You yelled ripping your dress seeing the wound in your shoulder "so just get us back and I'll tell Tony to give you a better partner." You hissed pressing gauze to the wound "y/n please, just listen." Loki said taking a step forward you slammed you hand down on the table "no! I won't...get us back...now!" You yelled seeing him jump as your eyes met his "very well." He said looking down he walked to the cockpit as you sat down, holding your head in your hands unable to stop the sobs that wracked through you you tried to cover your mouth as you rocked back and forth feeling the jet lift off you closed your eyes thankful you would be home soon and back to your room.
~~one week later~~
You grunted at the pain in your shoulder as you slid your tank top on, trying to get dressed. You hadn't left your room since you got back and thankfully loki had given you a wide birth since, there was no way you could handle him right now. You looked in the mirror pulling your hair back sighing seeing the dark circles under your eyes "well, thats as good as its gonna get." You said walking to your door. You were happy to stay locked up but Bruce told you you needed to start working your shoulder, so you begrudgingly made you way to the training room, hoping you would be alone but already knowing better, the men in the tower practically lived in the gym.
You took a deep breath, walking inside seeing Loki training with Thor, his daggers sending sparks in the air as they clashed with Thor's hammer. Looking further you saw Steve sparring with bucky and Nat on the treadmill. You quietly walked in, slowly setting your things down when you looked up meeting eyes with Loki. You quickly put your head down sitting on the bench to tie your shoes when a woman's giggle pulled your attention to the door, sighing seeing Jason walk in with Shanice on his arm, running a hand up his bicep "last night was amazing." She said looking at you as she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mmm your so sexy." He purred as he pressed his lips to hers. I can't do this you said to yourself as you got up, feeling the familiar sting in your eyes as you grabbed your things when you heard the sound of metal clanging to the floor.
Turning around you saw Loki taking purposeful strides towards you, ripping his gloves off throwing them to the floor as he stormed closer, his eyes boring into making you shiver as he came up on you "Loki...wha..." you were cut off as his hand clasped the back of your head, his fingers twining in your hair as he pulled you to him. All rational thought left you as his mouth crashed into yours, electricity shooting through you as his lips caressed yours. You felt him pull back, opening your eyes they met his as they searched yours "y/n. I.." he started when you reached up burying you fingers into his messy curls you pulled his lips back down to yours, tilting your head deepening the kiss earning a growl from him as your tongue glided across his bottom lip.
"Y/n" you heard him whisper as your tongue dove past his parted lips, moaning into his mouth feeling his other hand at your hip slowly sliding down cupping your ass, feeling him shiver as you fingers dove under the hem of his shirt ghosting over the skin above his shorts, traveling around to his lower back biting his bottom lip as you pulled his hips towards you feeling his hard length press against your stomach. "Aahh....y/n.." he moaned as you sucked on his bottom lip releasing it with a soft pop as you pulled back looking up into his eyes as you both tried to catch your breath. "Loki." You vaguely heard someone call out as you stared into eachothers eyes, his hand coming up cupping your cheek.
"Loki." You heard again, realizing it was Thor "H..he's calling you." You whispered unable to break Loki's gaze "hmm?" He hummed as his thumb caressed your cheek "he's calling you." You whispered as Thor walked over to you "Brother, what is the matter with you, did you forget your name?" Thor laughed when you saw Loki smile "it seems i have." He said making your cheeks heat up you looked over seeing shanice huff before grabbing Jason's hand and storming from the room. "Well, I'll leave you two alone." Thor said as he walked out as well. You looked back up at Loki, his eyes soft as you took a deep breath "Loki, i.." you started when he pressed a finger to your lips "y/n, please....there is something I have needed to say for sometime now." He said quietly slowly lowering his finger he grabbed your hands
"what you heard that night on the balcony." He started looking down "i...I did not mean a word of it." He said looking back up to you "then...why?" You asked feeling him squeeze your hand "when I first met you, you were so beautiful and kind, and I was...I am...a monster." He whispered as you shook your head "no...you aren't." You said squeezing his hands back "y/n, I've killed people, I attempted to rule your planet, i..." he started when you placed your finger in his lips "that wasn't you, you...Loki...have been mistreated, abused, lied to." You said seeing a tear steam down his cheek "you have a big heart, even though not many get the chance to see it." You said wiping his cheek with your thumb "but i...I have been so unkind to you...the things I've said." He trailed off looking down
"would you allow me to make amends? Allow me to treat you as you deserve?" He asked, biting his lip as he looked back up at you, a sadness In his eyes you hadn't seen before. "Well, I suppose you do owe me." You said smiling making his eyebrow arch "that asshat did show up that night." You said nodding towards the door "so if I remember correctly I won the wager." You said seeing him smile "you are correct, what does the lady wish as payment?" He asked taking a step closer to you "name it and it shall be yours." He said bringing your hand to his lips kissing the back of it "a date...I want to go out to dinner with you...get to know you...the you that you've kept hidden." You said seeing him smile "as you wish, I shall be at your room at eight o'clock." He said taking a step back "I look forward to it." You smiled as he nodded and walked towards the door
"and Loki?" You called out as he turned "i...I'm sorry." You said biting your lip "for all the mean things I said to you." You said seeing him smile "I am sorry too, it will never happen again" He said placing a hand over his heart "you have my word." He said "eight o'clock." You said smiling seeing him return it before walking out. You couldn't help the squeal that escaped you as you grabbed your things and ran to your room to get ready. Excitement running though you at the prospect of a second chance, one you were not going to let get away this time.
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veltana · 3 months
Text
Mafia AU prequels - Bucky's break-up
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✦ Pairing: Stucky/Fem!Reader ✦ Word count: ~1.7k ✦ Rating: Mature ✦ Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort, mild swearing, angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, lots of fluff and feels, platonic cuddling, sharing a bed, Bucky is a dramatic drunk, unrequited love/crush, mention of loki/reader. ✦ Summary: The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment. ✦ Note: This is a prequel to No one as sweet as you set while they were living together in college, which focuses on their growing relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend. You don't need to read No one as sweet as you to get this but I recommend it. (Also posted on AO3)
Series masterlist
Masterlist | AO3
Bucky and Dot broke up on a Wednesday around lunch. On Wednesday night Bucky had a new girl in his bed and you and Steve shrugged, put on your headphones, and waited for it to blow over.
The thing with roommates is that you will hear them during sex occasionally, it can’t be avoided with thin walls in an old building. But since that Wednesday Bucky never once slept alone and the rest of the time he was hardly in the apartment.
With your room right in between Steve and Bucky’s, you took the brunt of the sounds and on Friday morning you decided to take shelter in Steve’s room because the girl was a screamer and you had barely slept for two days.
Now it’s Tuesday, around one am and both Steve and you are awake, listening to the moans and sounds making their way through your room and into Steve’s.
"How does he even do it?" Steve sounds a little amazed as you both lay in bed and stare at the ceiling. "Drugs?" you ask. "Honestly, it has to be, how else is he going at it all the time like that?" "Maybe they're all faking it?" you suggest.
"I've never heard anyone complain about him," Steve shrugs. "But I mean statistically he can’t get it right for everyone every time." "If he does, he is one of a kind," you decide. "Tempted to go for a ride?" You hear the smile in Steve's voice without even looking. "No, not really," you grimace. "We should do something, I’m not sure it’s healthy anymore."
"Yeah I know, Sweets, but if I try and grab him like he did with me when I was sad about Peggy he is probably going to punch me," Steve sounds concerned too.
Sweets, that dorky nickname they both have decided to call you because you happen to like all things sweet. Somehow it had stuck, even though you protested. "I can try and talk to him," you pause before continuing. "If he is ever alone again."
Suddenly the front door slams and you realize that the sounds have stopped. Sharing a look both of you rush out of bed, finding Bucky in the kitchen, downing a gallon of juice.
"Want some?" He holds it out when he sees you. The smell of alcohol on his breath is strong, even when you’re a few feet away, pulling out a chair to sit down across from where he’s standing. "No thank you," you answer while Steve leans against the fridge. "So, who was that?" you ask.
Bucky shrugs. "Don't know, met her at a bar." "Are you using protection?" Steve asks with a raised eyebrow. Bucky straightens up, putting the open juice jug down hard on the counter, making liquid slosh out, looking at Steve with black eyes that you’ve never seen before.
"Of course I am, do you think I'm fucking dumb or somethin'," he snarls. Bucky tends to be a little dramatic when he's drunk. In an effort to calm him down you reach out to him. "Hey, Bucky, it's okay, he wasn't-" The moment your fingers touch his arm, he turns and moves his hand. "Don't fucking touch me," he says and the palm of his hand connects with your underarm.
Out of surprise and not because it hurts, you yelp and look up at Bucky, a little confused because he’s never reacted like that before. He stares back at you with horrified eyes, realization dawning on him. Slowly, without another word, he backs away and hurries over to his room, slamming the door behind him like a teenager in a fit.
Steve moves forward and grabs your arm, turning it over to see if you’re hurt. "What the fuck is wrong with him," he murmurs. "It's nothing, I was just surprised," you shrug. "I've hurt myself worse by bumping into tables." "That is no fucking excuse." Steve lets go and starts towards Bucky's door. Before he can knock, Bucky opens it with a bag over his shoulder. He's changed into new clothes and his cap is pulled down low over his eyes.
Steve blocks the doorway and crosses his arms, asking "Where the fuck are you going?" "Heading out, move," Bucky mumbles and tries to duck past Steve but the other won't let him. "The fuck your not, you're gonna stay here and face whatever it is that you’re feeling," Steve's voice is laced with restrained anger. "And you're gonna apologize to Sweets."
You’re about to protest that you're not really hurt, but Steve shoots a look over his shoulder and you clamp your mouth shut. "We understand that you're sad about Dot," Steve is softer now and he leans on the doorframe, giving Bucky a way out but he doesn't take it, he just stands there, looking at the ground.
"You don't understand shit, Steve," Bucky mutter. "Have you even cried?" Steve asks and that makes Bucky’s head snap up, his mouth a thin line. "Real men don't fucking cry," he hisses. They stare at each other for a long while, then Steve points to you. "Can real men apologize when they're being a fucking ass?" Steve asks with poorly hidden disdain.
This is a sore spot for both of them and has been the grounds for arguments before. Bucky has some views on what it means to be a man that neither Steve nor you share. It has gotten better over the years according to Steve but you have not seen Bucky cry once, not to sad movies or when he’s been injured, or even had his heart broken. It's concerning, but maybe you and Steve can help him with that one day.
The bag lands on the floor with a thump and he walks past Steve to where you're sitting on the chair. Without a word he gets down on his knees in front of you and gently grabs your arm, pressing his lips against your skin murmuring "I'm sorry," repeatedly.
Steve has turned to look at you and you meet his eyes that are still hard and annoyed. You use your free hand to remove the cap and run your fingers through Bucky's hair, whispering, "It's okay."
When you do, Bucky stiffens and stops moving for a moment, then he lets go of your arm and buries his face in your pajama-clad lap, his voice trembling when he says, "I'll move out, I swear. I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, Sweets! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I love you so much."
Steve softens immediately and pushes off the door to settle on the floor beside him, rubbing his back. “No need for that Buck,” he says softly and you echo him. “I don’t want you to leave Bucky,” you grab one of his hands and gently press a kiss to the top of it before placing it back again.
After several minutes of silence, Bucky asks angrily into your legs, "Why the fuck does it have to hurt this much.” "I don't know," you answer truthfully. "I wish I never met her, never fucked her, never fucking loved her,” Bucky continues. "No, you don't," Steve argues. "I know it might feel like you will never be happy again but it will get better." Bucky lifts his head and Steve cups his face and brushes his cheeks, even though there are no tears there.
"We love you, and we will help you with anything you need," you promise. Bucky nods and lays his head down against your legs again with Steve's hand still on his cheek.
Eventually, Steve stands up and Bucky looks at him a little worried. "Not leaving, just gonna get another blanket for the bed," he reassures him. While Steve is gone Bucky says, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I love you, Sweets, more than you could ever know." And you smile because even though you know he’s exaggerating, it’s still nice to hear him say it. "I know Bucky, I know," you whisper.
When Steve comes back he pulls Bucky to his feet and guides him into the bedroom. You check the front door before turning all the lights out, then padding over to Steve's room too. They're cuddled together, Bucky's head pressed into Steve's shoulder and you move to slide in behind Bucky, but he grabs you around the waist and pulls you down between them. It makes you giggle and there is a weak smile answering on Bucky's face before you all settle in.
There is not even a light bruise left behind on your arm the next day, but you've never seen Bucky so remorseful. In the following weeks, he accompanies you around to classes, carries your stuff, and has sworn off drinking. Both you and Steve are skeptical because Bucky is famous for his partying but in the months that follow he often goes out but always comes home sober.
One day when you're having lunch at home together on the couch, you ask him about it.
First, he puts his food down before taking hold of your utensils and placing them on the table. Then he grabs you and pulls you into his lap, hugging you so tightly you can hardly breathe.
"I never want to put you in that situation again," he explains. "What if I get angry and do something worse, to you, or Steve, or anyone else." Hugging him back as best you can you say "Maybe you should talk to a professional about it?" "I'm on a waiting list," he replies.
You cuddle into him, really trying to show him that you mean it when you say, "Bucky I'm not afraid of you, I know you didn't mean to hurt me." "Don't make excuses for me," he says and picks up a strand of your hair, twirling it between his fingers.
The moment is cut off by your phone chiming and you wiggle out of his hold. When you pull it out a smile splits your face. "Have to go," you grab another spoonful of fried rice then get up. "Who was that?" Bucky asks.
Since you’re halfway to the door you don't pick up on his tone. "Just someone I've been seeing," "What's his name?" "Loki, he's from Europe!" You turn around with a smile and throw him a kiss before you're out the door.
Bucky feels his heart break, again, only this time he has no excuse to be sad about it because you aren't his.
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notlhecxzsa · 5 months
Text
Wings - N.R
An angel on earth? Sounds very impossible for the avengers, especially to Natasha who doesn't believe that god exists, but the most impossible that had happened was what Natasha felt. Love.
Warnings 🚫: None.
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Natasha's POV:
"An angel?" I ask, disbelief and amusement is lacing through my voice, as Fury debrief us on a new mission.
"Yes, Romanoff, it was last seen in russia, we don't know where as we can't find it, but we know it's just in the perimeters in some parts of ohio." Fury explained once again.
"How can you say it's an angel? Does it have wings?" Tony ask, genuinely confused like me.
"It is, but words are not enough, so i brought the video. Friday, can you show them the video i inserted earlier?" Fury said, in wich the a.i commanded to.
A video was shown to us, and we watched it with full of disbelief, but i know we're all amuse by this. It was caught from a CCTV, flying around, and walking on some part of russia, clearly looking lost, it seems like she's a girl, but i can't really guess as it's slightly blurry.
"How can you be so sure that it's really an angel, or that video is real, and not just edited by some random person?" Vision ask, completely not believing what he is seeing.
"Do you think we didn't scanned it all over and checked it twice if it's real or not, Vision? If it's not real, i wouldn't have come here to waste my time. Now suit up, we don't have time, we have an angel to get." Fury said in a hurry, and called Steve, maybe to debrief him because he's the captain.
We all went to our own rooms to change, and pack the things that we would need until we found this angel.
________________________________
"Are you sure that it's here, Stark?" I heard Steve whispered on the comms.
We're now here at an abandoned building, somewhere in russia. It's out first day here, not wanting to waste our time, we decided to start looking. But, i know, many of us are just too excited to see the winged creature.
I mean, we know gods are real. But, we've never seen an angel, so...
"Yes, i see the radiation and heat, and it's not very human. It's all alone, just keep moving forward, then take left when you're at the end." I heard Tony said, once again through comms, but i payed no mind on his instructions, as sometimes he could be wrong, plus, its like my feet have their own brain, its moving where it wants to be.
Tony, Wanda, Vision are on the air, while me, Steve, Sam, Bucky and Peter are inside the building where Stark and Vision had detected something. Thor and Loki are not here, since something came up in Asgard.
An unfamiliar quiet sniffle stopped me from walking, as my head whipped around on the direction where it came from. Walking slowly, not making any sounds, i heard the sniffles turned louder, following by a shuffling.
I stopped at the end corner, taking deep breaths before walking left. And my breath caught on my throat as soon as i saw a girl, curled up in ball, wearing a white dress, with gold lacing through it, she has no shoes or slippers to cover up her feet, and it actually looks sore and have cuts already.
I can't clearly see her face, because of her long hair covering her face. She has a pale skin and-.
Oh shit.
I was snapped out off of my trance as soon as i realized and saw her looking at me. Pale white skin, pink plump lips, that is wobbling and quivering, a well defined small cute nose, and god, those deep brown eyes. She's looking at me with full of fear and confusion.
My face turned into a frown when i didn't see any wings, where's the fucking wings?
Maybe she's not the angel?
"Hey..." I started, taking a step forward but soon stopped when i saw her afraidly shuffled backwards. "It's okay, i won't hurt you, okay?..." I was again, met by silence as she kept scanning me through her lashes, knees buckled up to her chest, with her arms hugging it.
"My name's Natasha, Natasha Romanoff, and im here to help you..." I said ever so gently, then trying to take a step forward, but, this time, thankfully, she didn't backed away, so i took it as an advantage to reach out my arms, but still not invading her personal space.
"Your feet is bruised, and it's clear that you need help, is it okay to touch you? Don't worry, i won't do anything, i just need to touch you so i can help you..." I explained softly, looking at her with gentle eyes and a small smile, reaching out my hand more as i took another step.
I saw her look to my hands, then my face, trying to contemplate if ever i mean any harm or not, i just wish im doing a good job on being soft and gentle as this is the first time im ever like this.
"M-my n-name's Y/n..." Oh god, her voice, i felt myself so lulled at it.
"Oh wow, that's a very beautiful name, Y/n..." At that, i caught the blushed on her face, but thought nothing out of it, so i continued, "Okay, how about i carry you to where we are going, or do you want to walk instead? Don't worry, we're just gonna go to my friends so they can treat you wounds, they're nice, they can be noisy and annoying, but they're nice." I said as i pulled a face, which i think made her snort a laugh a little.
"Now, come on, Y/n. Would you like to come with me?" I ask softly, with encouraging eyes and smile. I saw wheels running through her mind, a few seconds her eyes flash a glint of something trustful.
I smiled, as i saw her hands reach up to mine slowly, but it was soon stopped, and we're both startled when the loud boom of Tony's voice called my name.
"Aye! Romanoff! What are you- Oh..." The realization soon hit her, and i look back at Y/n, silently cursing Tony under my breath as i saw her all curled up again.
"Is that the angel?" Tony ask so casually, walking over to us.
My head snapped at his direction, glaring at him, and putting a hand up to stop him from walking, which he did. I look back again at Y/n, my hand is still in the air.
"Hey, hey, it's okay, it's just my friend... I told you they can be noisy and all annoying, but they're nice. Come on, Y/n, you don't have to be scared, don't worry, I'll stay by your side if you want me to." I said gently, to make her look up, which i successfully did.
She look at Tony, who sent her a smile, and me, who smiled softly at her.
"There you go, see, he's nice...Now come on, here..." I said, and stop myself mid sentence to take my shoes off, and show it infront of her. "Wear this so your feet won't hurt." I said, and she frowned.
"W-what a-about you? You-you're feet w-will hurt..." She said, and before i can answer i look at Tony and sent him a small nod, which he returned with one before flying off.
"No, don't worry about me, i have socks, now come on, it's getting abit dark and it's cold here, don't you think so?" I said, reaching up my hand for her to take.
"I- uh, i don't k-know how t-to put those o-on...." She quietly that i can barely even hear it.
"Oh, it's okay i can help you. Can i touch you?" I ask, and i smiled when i received a nod.
She stretched out her foots, until it's enough for me to put the shoes on. I carefully put it on her, trying not to hurt her because of the bruises.
The idea of finding the angel is now long gone, all i want is to get her out of here, save her and give her what she needs.
"There you go.." I said softly, slightly chuckled when i saw how big it is compared to her feet.
"It's big..." She said and wiggled her feet, which made me laugh and think about how cute it is.
"It is, isn't it? Now, let's go, Y/n, we've got to get going." I said, and stand up then reach out my hand for her to take, which she took.
The moment our skin touched, i felt how soft and smooth her skin, but the sudden small electric wave can't be unnoticed by me. Instead of overthinking it, i just lead us to where the quinjet is.
My left hand is on her lower back, and i was holding her hands with my right hand. I can tell that she need some support, so i just let her lean on me. But, i can't help but worry on how much her feet might have hurt, so without thinking, i ask her,
"Do you want me to carry you?" I ask, stopping our walk.
"W-what- i-, n-no, it's umm, it's fine, im fine." She stuttered, but i picked her up either way, causing her to let out a squeal.
Continuing our walk, ignoring the slight pain that the ground is causing my feet. She's surprisingly not that heavy, and i can't feel any wings on her back either, making me think again, if ever she's the angel or not. Choosing not to ask her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, i continued walking towards the quinjet, where the team are waiting for me.
"Look, there they are..." I said to Y/n, causing her to look at the team, who is looking at us.
I saw her cheeks burned, and put her head on my shoulder, avoiding my friend's gaze.
"It's okay, they won't hurt you, i promise. I'm here, I'll stay by your side.
_________________________________
No one's POV:
1 month.
It has now been 1 month since they took you in, you stayed in a cell in the first 2 weeks, but with your harmless and innocent actions proved them that you brought no harm to them, especially to Natasha.
From the very first day you were brought in to the SHIELD facility, she tried everything in her power to not let Fury lock you in, but unfortunately, he's the director, and she knows he's just doing what needs to done. She didn't even know why she wouldn't want you being all locked up like a prisoner as she didn't even know a single thing about you, but something inside her bubbled with protection at the thought of you.
Natasha had always been there with you, just like how she promised. It made you more comfortable around her, making her almost the closest thing you have, after you watch with your own eyes how the devil killed your family.
They always tried to take some words out of you, asking here and there if you're an angel, as they don't want to make you take a medical test, as you are still clearly inside a traumatic phase. They can see it by how you act, the way you flinched, and get scared easily was enough to make Natasha's heart break, it even almost made Fury soft.
You gave them no answer, you gave them zero answer to all of their so many questions. Afraid that they would do something bad to you, because that all you felt, as soon as your parents put you in that pod and landed here, you have no one to protect you.
Here, on this planet, you're not the princess who you used to be, you're a complete stranger from the other side of the universe, a complete naive stranger who knows nothing about the human beings, an angel who were hidden by her royalty parents, in order to 'protect' you from the cruelness of the multiverse.
You felt completely alone, almost as lost.
But, with Natasha by your side, you felt safe, comfortable. With Natasha by your side, you didn't felt lonely, she even made you smile and laugh with her corny dad jokes. She taught you so many things, even the board games you both always played whenever you two would always hangout, which is everyday.
Well, Natasha being Natasha, who is a like a daughter to Fury, he commanded Natasha's wish on becoming you guard, helper, guidance and all. Fury saw how you were whenever you're with Natasha, so he knows that agreeing with Natasha's wishes was not a bad idea.
You identity is still hidden, even to Natasha, but you know that sooner or later, you are gonna tell her who you are. I mean, she's been a really great company- friend to you, she's always there for you, and she showed no harm or any signs of betrayal to you, so you know that in any other way, you could trust her with your life.
Now, in the present time, you're with Natasha, getting ready to go to the 'amusement park', saying she wants you to have fun, as you were lock in a four walls for 2 weeks, but, mostly and truthfully, she wants you to have fun, she wants to hear you laugh and smile more, she wants you to discover more things.
She almost felt bad when she heard that you know nothing about amusement parks, i mean, you clearly know nothing, as you were always lock up in your room at the castle you lived. With guards and maids always following you and all, the places you go are limited, you're almost not allowed to go anywhere far without your parents.
"You ready to go, detka?" The red head asked you with a smile, eyeing you up and down, almost making you shrink down with the way she looks at you.
You're wearing a denim high waisted shorts, and Natasha's hoodie, which is big compared to your body, it was almost hiding your hands, and it all the way down to you upper knee, and a converse high tops. You always steal her clothes, even though she already buy you enough clothes- which you are very thankful for- you can't help but feel more comfortable with hers, and ofcourse, Natasha lets you, she always thought about you it looked better on you than it did to her.
"Yes, all ready!" You said excitedly, slightly jumping on your toes.
"Okay, come on, i already started the car." She stated, reaching out her hand for you to take which you did.
_______________________________
The night to the amusement park is full of joy, happiness and laughter, with Natasha being your favorite game player on game booths. The both of you would play games here and there, but unfortunately for you, you always lose, that's why she decided to take it in her own hands to play it, which ended, thankfully, very well. She won all the prizes you wanted, and ofcourse, Natasha being Natasha, she gave it all to you, she spoiled you rotten.
There's one game that she won two prizes, the firing gun game, where the player will have a pellet gun, and the player needs to shoot the plastic cups. And obviously, being a very well veterinarian agent, ex-assassin and ex-spy, who is constantly saving the word using only a fire arm, she cleared all the plastic cups out of the way, leading her to a winning game.
The intimate loving gesture and signs between the two of you is completely unconscious, not that you didn't want it, you love it.
The way you hands would automatically entangle, the way the both of you would hug, witch occasionally kissing each others forehead and cheeks whenever a game that you- Natasha had played, turned out winning it. The way the both of you would occasionally feed each other with their own foods, smiling at each other unconsciously, and completely getting lost in it.
Now, you both are sitting side by side, in a ride called 'The Dream Twister', Natasha didn't really wanted to join, apart from being a not really fan of this things, she didn't want people seeing 'The Black Widow' sitting on a ride, being all smiley and laughy. But, with your face, and with the reassurance she received from you, she immediately gave in.
"Already?!" A loud excited voice came out from the speaker, making the people who's also on the ride with the boat you, scream 'yes' with excitedness, including you, while Natasha just chuckled, still holding you hand tightly.
"Very nice, beautifuls, the ride is getting started in...3....2....1! Get ready to get you dream twisted!" The voice came out just as excited as it is earlier.
The vehicle machine started, making your giddiness run up high. It started out slowly, then after some time, you could feel the adrenaline rushing through you body, as it started to get more faster. By then, the people you're with, started screaming, including you, while Natasha just shut her eyes close, and tightened her grip on you hand.
As time passes by, the ride started to be more aggressively fast, and somehow, you started to feel something off. You felt the way how the securing belts started to loosen, same with Natasha.
It all went so fast, people screaming, the belt automatically loosening off the making it's way up to you heads, making the people around you feel off. And you, not thinking of anything except Natasha, hugging her body tight, as your most kept secret freely escaped behind you back. Flying off to somewhere unsecluded, just the two of you, fear that you might scare people off, just how you will might scare Natasha off.
You're arms around her middle part, your head on her chest, with close eyes as you hug her tight, you wings automatically wrapping itself around her. While Natasha, clings to you just the same, but her eyes wide, with so many thoughts running through her mind.
Tears started to flow out of you eyes, for a few minutes of being frozen in same position as you did.
Fear of losing your best friend, the only person you have, the one who you found yourself feeling something romantic for. You can't lose her, you don't want to, not now, not ever. She's the only one you have, you can't bear losing her too.
Your sniffles, and choked sobs brought Natasha out of her trance, the feeling of disbelief (not in the bad way) is not changed with worry. The feeling of your white, with a trace of gold colored wings around her, made her feel safe, the most safest she felt for the first time, she almost wants to stay like that, but when she felt your wings started to fall solemnly on the ground, her worry started to grow.
"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong, lyubov?" She as softly, almost a whisper that it almost bring you to a very much needed comfort. But it's still no use, as the thought of losing her, being scared and disgusted of you, started to grow.
"P-please, d-don't leave me, i-im not b-bad, i-i promise, please, don't...l-leave me, Natasha...." You begged in between of you broken sobs.
Natasha felt her heart ache as she felt your body rocked by the sobs you made, the way you desperately beg her to not leave you, the way thought she would think badly of you after this revelation.
Ofcourse, she wouldn't, she could not do that to you, she won't leave you, even if the gods themselves decided to part the both of you, she will not let you go. You're the best thing that had happened to her, you gave her a much bigger meaning to be alive, and stay alive on the missions she had gone.
"Natty, p-please, p-please, i-i can explain-" You choked out, still hugging her tightly
You don't need to explain anything to her, you didn't need to. Because, she already knows, from the first time you both met in that abandoned building, she knows.
She just didn't want to share it, and decided to keep it to herself, she didn't even told you, nor her best friend, Clint. She gave you no signs that she knows you're different, she treated you just the same like when you both met. Even with those so many interrogations that you hate, she didn't speak a word on knowing that she knows.
She wanted you to said it yourself, she didn't want you to rush into things that you don't want to, she didn't want you to do something you're not open and comfortable with. For a spy, and an ex-assassin like, who was thought that love is only for children, for someone like her who knew nothing about love, she is the most understanding person, the most lovable person in her own way.
"Hey, hey, can you look at me?" She ask softly, rubbing your back and arm, asking for your attention which she received.
You pulled away you head to look at her, but still not letting her figure go out of you arms.  You saw how she smiled when your eyes met under the starry night, you saw no expression of disgust and fear in her eyes, she didn't looked at you the way those people looked at you when you first landed her on earth.
She looks at you like you're the most fragile thing she had seen, she looks at you with so much love and adoration, she looks at you as if her eyes speaks so much word that you couldn't seem to understand, but you know, it's a good thing, an amazing thing even.
"You have nothing to worry about, angel. I'm not gonna leave you, not now, not ever, no matter what happens. And stop thinking that im scared of you because of this..." She motioned her hands around your wings. "Because no, im not scare, nor disgusted, im not thinking of anything bad to you, understand that, my angel?" She explained softly, caressing your cheek lightly as she did so.
My angel.
The way she said your specie came out so perfectly, she said it with so much passion and love, you can heart it rolling of her tounge. And you know by then, it's now you're favorite word from her.
"Y-yes, Natty, i-im sorry i lied-" She cut you off.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's all fine, you didn't want to say it so why would i need you to say to me what you really are? You don't have anything to apologize for, sweetheart. Besides i already knew, so, i don't want to hear any apologize from you about this, okay?" She ask, and you nodded as she wipe you cheeks.
"But, still, you haven't done anything but be good and kind to me, Natty, i still should've atleast told you-" Once again, you were cut off by her.
"Shhh, shhh,you didn't need to tell me anything that you don't want to, okay? Do you understand me, dove?" She ask and you nodded.
After that, a complete comfortable silence fell at you surface, neither of you wanted to say anything, as once again, like the both of you always do, you got lost in each other's eyes. Both green and the deep brown eyes, glimmering under the moonlight with so much love.
So much love that even the gods from the above will be shy to break the two of you apart from each other, oh, how pure your love with each other, for forever and eternity.
_____________________________
Want a part 2?
Damnnn, this one is 4000 words.
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ghost-is-my-bbg · 6 months
Text
One last post for a while before I take a break.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
Dear Vincent,
I don't know how to put it into words how your loss has changed so many peoples lives. You were beyond lovely, a beam of happiness and kindness. Always there for those around you, but no one was there for you which is devastating. It's sickening how everyone turned their back on you, and never gave you the chance to defend yourself. How people could do this to someone so kind and innocent of everything he was accused of is beyond me. I hope those who caused this, caused you to do what you did, get their karma soon. We all miss you so much, and your cat Loki is probably worried for you. I cry often lately thinking about how we lost you, and that we'll never get to see you ever again. While I'm crying writing this, everyone is and will grieve you for a while, but in the future I promise we'll celebrate your life, and what you did for so many people. We'll forever uphold your memory and honour, and we'll never let your legacy die out. You are possibly getting your own skin in call of duty, just like you dreamed about. So many people are missing you; people you were friends with, your family, people you probably only spoke once to, and people you never knew, strangers, are grieving you. I'm devastated you'll never be here with us again, but I'm sure you're up high in heaven, watching down on all of us with love as we celebrate your life. You're in a much better place now, where no one can hurt you an I'm sure you're much happier. Theres so much I can't put into words, and so much I cant write down, but please know I love you. we all do. I love you, and will forever miss you, Vincent. May the force be with you, and may you rest in peace, up in heaven, forever happy.
Love, yours truly.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I signed off as "yours truly" because I didn't want to put ky name on the Internet, but I want it to be known that he will forever be missed.
Send in your own letter here:
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cultofcarter · 3 months
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Dancing On Our Own
Loki x Reader (Y/N)
Summary: You rope Loki into a new winter tradition.
Warnings: best friends to lovers fluff, brief bits of angst - mention of a family member passing away (not at all graphic), reader has a single mother
WC: ~1.3k
A/N: This is for the @fictive-sl0th Secret Santa Event! My super sweet prompt was “dancing in the snow” from @holdmytesseract. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy it too! Happy Holidays! 
One week before Christmas…
The first time Loki saw you do this from the compound window, he thought he was still under the influence of Asgardian mead from Tony’s party. He couldn’t help but watch with a furrowed brow. Loki knew Midgardians had some interesting traditions around this time of year, but he was pretty sure this wasn’t one of them. A sudden clap to his shoulder broke him from his stupor, as he turned swiftly and met the offender.
“Brother,” Loki grumbled. “Was that really necessary?” Thor chuckled before he answered.
“I called for you a few times, but it seems your attention was captive elsewhere,” Thor followed Loki’s eye line to see you in the snow outside. Noticing the furrow of his expression, Thor continues. “What troubles you?” 
“What is Y/N doing?” Loki asked like a curious child. 
“Well, it appears to be dancing,” Thor explained jovially.
“I know she’s dancing, you oaf. But for what? Or why?” 
“Why don’t you ask? You two have been an inseparable pair, surely she’ll let you in on her…activities.” While Loki rolled his eyes, his heart swelled with pride hearing Thor call you “inseparable.” It was completely accurate; the two of you had been drawn to each other ever since he stepped foot in the compound. He was elated to be able to call you his best friend, even if he desired more. He’d happily take whatever you were willing to give him, even if it meant his curiosities went unanswered. 
Three Days before Christmas…
The pleasant scent of cinnamon and sugar hit Loki right as he sauntered into the communal kitchen. Your phone was set beside you on the kitchen counter, blasting “All I want for Christmas Is You“ while surrounded by various baking ingredients and utensils. Leaning against the fridge, Loki observed with a smirk as you danced around, lost in your own little world. He had always admired you for that; your ability to always be yourself, no matter who was around, was one of the many reasons he gravitated to you over other members of the team. A squeak pulled him out of his thoughts.
”Oh, hey, hi Loki,” you stutter. “Uh, I was just -”
”Please, continue,” Loki smiled softly. “I heard dancing is a very important step in the cookie-baking process, so don't let me interrupt.” He chuckled at your over exaggerated eye-roll.
”Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you won't be getting any treats from me then. Find your own  Christmas cookies, bud.” You smiled at him, which emphasized the lack of severity in your threat. Loki felt the shift in the air, as if you were telepathically begging him to act on the tension. He opened his mouth to speak before being interrupted by a shout:
“CHRISTMAS COOKIES!!” Sam yelled as he burst into the kitchen, Steve and Thor followed milliseconds later. “You’re the best, Y/N.” You laughed at their antics before you glanced around the kitchen; Loki was gone. You did your best to smile at the remaining team members as they chatted, impatiently waited for the oven timer to release their treats. 
Christmas Eve…
“Y/N, I need to ask you something…a little personal,” Loki commented wearily. As you sat side by side in the compound living room binge-watching your favorite show, you looked over at him with a smirk.
“Did you get another virus on your laptop? Tony’s gonna give you hell again,” you giggled. Loki bit back a smile before his expression sombered again.
“I hope this doesn’t come off as intrusive, so you need not answer if it makes you uncomfortable,” he started, which caused you to tilt your head in confusion. “But I’ve noticed…you seem to be very dedicated to dancing to your holiday songs. Is there a reason?” You blushed slightly, unaware he noticed this pattern of yours.
“Oh…well…” you paused, wondering how to word your answer best. “Christmas was…kind of tough for me growing up. After my dad left, my mom didn’t always have money for presents.” You scrunch your mouth to the side. “But she’d always try to do something for me, even small things like watch a movie with hot chocolate or...or staying up late and dancing to all the cheesy holiday songs.” Loki smiled with you, reminiscing on memories he didn’t even have, but imagined the pure joy and laughter on your face.
“Do you still see her around the holidays?” Loki asked. Your smile faltered slightly.
“She passed away shortly before I moved here,” you admitted. “Car accident.” Loki was stunned. He never remembers you wallowing or shutting yourself away from the team you had just met. It pained him to think you went through a lifetime of grieving all on your own while plastering on the brightest smile in the Nine Realms. He sensed your finality on that particular subject, so he moved on with his questions. 
“No one here has ever joined you?” You chuckled at the innocence in his tone. 
“Honestly, I’ve never asked. I mean c'mon, they’re ‘earth’s mightiest heroes,’ they’ve got more important things to do than worry about one agent.” Just as Loki went to continue, your phone alarm interrupted his train of thought. 
“Oh, crap! I gotta get going, duty calls.” You laugh. “I’ll see you later, Loki!” It was then Loki finally decided how he would be spending his Christmas morning as he smiled at your retreating form.
Christmas morning…
A deep vibrato woke you from the safe haven of your slumber. You recognized the holiday melody from “Silver Bells” echoed somewhere nearby. You rubbed the heaviness from your eyes, only for them to widen at the sight outside your window. Snow lightly danced in the air and along the grass, but only in a very specific area. The same area where Loki was standing, dressed in his coziest emerald green sweater accompanied by a Santa hat that caused you to let a child-like giggle loose. The select few pine trees were all decorated with colorful string lights and silver tinsel. Still stunned, you rush to throw on your favorite Christmas sweater and a clean pair of sweats before sliding on boots to meet your best friend outside. 
“What on earth are you doing?” you half shouted as you made your way over to him.
“I thought it was obvious. I’m celebrating the holiday,” Loki smiled sweetly before he embraced you tightly. “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”
“Merry Christmas, Loki.” “But you still haven’t really answered the question…”
“This is my gift to you, little one. Surely you won’t make me dance by myself? I might get cold,” Loki teased, not allowing you to retreat too far from him.
“Well, we certainly can’t have that,” you laugh. You closed the small distance between you both, your head rested against his chest with his chin on the top of your head. Both of you followed the melody as you swayed in a circle, your heart beating out of your chest while you felt calm and at ease. 
“I think we should make this a new tradition,” you mumble against his chest. You felt Loki’s chuckle in his chest.
“I will happily dance with you, darling, no matter the occasion,” Loki’s breath hitched as you stared at him with watery eyes and adoration. 
“You’re the best, Loki,” you complimented. The music nearly faded away as you both inched closer to each other’s lips. Loki glanced at you for confirmation, and with a small nod, you pressed your lips together for the first time. It was sweet, slow, and gentle, similar to the snowfall all around you. Loki put his heart out in the cold, but he knew you would always be there to keep him warm.
Secret Santa 2023 taglist: @joyful-enchantress @mochie85 @muddyorbs @sailorholly @lady-rose-moon @superficialdomina @coldnique @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @smolvenger @loz-3 @catsladen @lokisgoodgirl @acidcasualties @divine-knight-hand @quirkiest-turtle @glitchquake @nyxlaufeyson @fandxmslxt69 @holymultiplefandomsbatman
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holdmytesseract · 3 months
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i LOVE Baby Fever!
I know it says your requests are closed, but mind if I submit a Baby Fever idea for a rainy day if you ever need it?
I had to take my kid to the dentist for th3e first time the other day and she was a wreck, and it got me wondering what it would look like Loki was comforting Ella before she has to do something scary, like go to the dentist or the first time.
If that's not inspiring, it can be anything, like a first performance, first day at school, or another situation that would be frightening for a child? I bet you'd make something lovely.
Biggest Fear
☆ The Baby Fever AU ☆
Loki, Ella & Narfi
Summary: It's time to pay the dentist a visit - which is Narfi's biggest fear...
Warnings: angst, fluff
Word Count: 998
a/n: I loved this idea so much, but I don't know if I like what I wrote... I don't know if I got it right... I struggled a bit, but well... I hope you guys like it! :)
Baby Fever Crew: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @chennqingg @smolvenger @alexakeyloveloki @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @eleniblue @loz-3 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @fictive-sl0th @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @lovingchoices14 @glitchquake @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @xthatpottahfanx @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @aagn360 @anukulee @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @lokiforever @crimson25 @kimanne723 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @noideakitten @zombiesnips-blog @dustychinchilla74 @frzntrx @lokisgoodgirl @princess-ofthe-pages @coldnique @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokisrealpurpous @huntedmusicgardenn @lokischambermaid
Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist °☆• Masterlist
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"Ella?" Loki called out for his daughter, before walking inside the living room, where she sat on the sofa and watched TV. "Come on, princess. We have to go," he said; her little jacket in his big hands. Ella looked up; nodding at him. "I'm coming, daddy." She reached for the remote and switched off the telly. "Where's your brother?" The young girl shrugged her shoulders as she hopped down from the sofa. "I dunno. Probably hiding in his room, because he's afraid and doesn't want to go." Realisation dawned on Loki. He should've known. He should've seen it coming. "Alright. I'll look after him. Be a good girl and get dressed already, yes?" "Sure, daddy." Ella took her jacket from Loki and marched off into direction main door. Sighing, the god made his way to his son's room. He found the door open, "Narfi?" so he stepped inside. Looking around, the little boy was nowhere to be seen. "Narfi, we have to go. I know you're in here; hiding somewhere…"
A small head full of black curls appeared from behind the huge lion plushie, which the boy had been gifted by his uncle Scott. "I don want to go, dada..." The two-and-a-half-year-old whispered; already fighting the tears. Loki's heart cracked at the sight; his expression turning immediately incredibly soft. "I know, little prince..." He said, squatting down and opening his arms. An offer the little boy took gladly. He literally ran into his father's arms. "But we have to go to the dentist. It's important."
Yes... The constantly recurring dentist problem... It wasn't Narfi's first time to pay the doctor a visit, but given the fact that his first time having his little teeth checked was quite traumatizing for the little boy, he was afraid to go again - understandably. Loki hated to push him through this again and again, but he had to, unfortunately. Sure, he tried several times to still his fears, but in vain...
Narfi shook his head; rubbing his eyes. He was still fighting the tears, but his bottom lip wobbled dangerously. "I'm afwaid, dada." Loki pressed a lingering kiss on Narfi's forehead. "I know you are - and that's okay. We all have something we are afraid of. But... You don't want to be afraid of Dr. Felix, do you?" "Nu.Uh." "See? I promise I'll be there the whole time. I'll hold your hand and I am not letting go. And your sister will be there, too. Okay?" Loki could still see the fear in his son's eyes, as a few big tears rolled down the boy's cerulean cheeks. "O-Okay..." The god gave him a soft smile and pressed another kiss on his face - this time it was the left cheek. "Let's go then." Loki stood up; taking the boy with him and carrying him within his arms. "Besides, how can we be sure that your little toothies are growing the way they should?" He added; gently tickling Narfi's tummy with one hand. It caused him to giggle and smile at least a bit.
Once everybody was ready, Loki took his two kids to Dr. Felix. Unfortunately, Narfi's fear didn't ease up. Rather quite the opposite... The more time that passed and the closer they got to be called up, the small boy's fear increased continuously. While Ella was completely chilled and was having fun in the little kid's corner of the waiting room, Narfi's grip on Loki tightened with every passing minute. He was holding on to his father for dear life. Loki tried of course to reassure him; stroke soothing circles across his small back and whisper sweet encouragements inside his ear. It was helping a bit, but not to a full extent.
Therefore, it was almost like a nightmare coming true for the little Frost Giant, when a nurse entered the waiting room and called up both, his and Ella's name. Loki was about to stand up and carry Narfi again, when he literally clasped onto Loki's emerald green shirt; every muscle in his body tightening. Thick tears rolled down Narfi's cheeks again. "Daddy, don wanna go," he sobbed into the god's shirt; wetting it. "I know, little prince, but we have to. I'm sorry."
Ella saw the scenes unfolding as well. When she saw her brother like this, her expression soft. A small hand landed on Narfi's back as well. "Don't cry, Narfi. I was afraid of Dr. Felix, too the first time, but he's just trying to help you." Narfi turned slowly in his dad's arms to look at his big sister. "You are afwaid, too?" He asked; rubbing his red, swollen eyes. "I was, yes, but I know that we can do this together." The little boy looked up at his sister with big, ruby eyes. "Togefwa?" Ella smiled, "Together." and reached for Narfi's hand. He took it, of course. Loki let him down and watched how his eldest child led his youngest child towards the door of the waiting room. The god could literally feel the love pumping through his veins. He stood up and quickly went to follow them.
Ella squeezed Narfi's small hand gently, whispering: "I am going to hold your hand and I promise I won't let go, okay?" Loki could see the boy nodding, before he inched closer to his sister. At that gesture, Loki's heart almost bursted; seeing how much Ella loved her younger brother and how she took care of him.
Due to Ella's positive effect on Narfi, went the actual dentist appointment very smoothly. Sure, Narfi had been still afraid, but Ella managed to still most of his fears. She was everything what Narfi needed in that moment - and she was there for him. After the appointment, Loki took both kids to eat some ice cream. They had clearly deserved one. Both of them.
From that point on, Narfi wasn't that afraid anymore to go to the dentist - as long as Ella was with him.
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Note
Hi!! Just wanna say I love your writing sm! And could you please tell how the friendship between loki and sunshine blossomed? I just love how sunshine is with people btw
- 🌻
Okay, okay, that's such a good question, like we already know how Sunshine and Loki met and we've seen a few glimpses into their friendship, but we don't know how they actually became friends. And that is an injustice. So allow me to recount how exactly Sunshine and Loki became friends.
F is For Friends Who Do Stuff Together
Part of The Grumpy X Sunshine Series
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Loki smirks to himself. He wasn't going to do anything too awful, perhaps a little mischievous but why would anyone expect anything else from him?
It was their fault really. Leaving their newest addition all alone while he was lurking around the Compound. You're low hanging fruit ripe for the picking.
He didn't even have any real plans for you.
Perhaps he'd take you to Asgard for long enough for Thor to come looking. Long enough to frighten you, certainly. In truth, he was just bored and looking to stir up a little bit of chaos - and they made it far too easy for him.
After all, you're completely oblivious to him looming behind you. It was almost too easy.
He creeps up slowly, watching as you tend to a bouquet of flowers in the common room.
You're not even in within arm's reach when, without ever looking over your shoulder, you chirp, "Hi, Loki!"
He freezes, completely caught off guard, his plans entirely derailed, "How did you-"
You turn around with a bright smile, "How did I what?"
"How did you know I was there?"
You shrug, "I heard you."
"Impossible." It disturbs him more than it should. He was a god. Not just a god, but the god of deception and trickery. You were just the strange newcomer.
"Maybe you're not as sneaky as you think you are."
Despite how deeply unsettling this turn of events is, he smirks to himself. He knows you're completely unaware of the challenge you just issued.
So he tries. Again. And again. And again.
And each time, "Hi, Loki!" or "You almost got me that time!" or, worst of all "You're getting better everyday!"
It was maddening. Infuriating, even. He even scared Thor a few times just to make sure he hadn't somehow lost his touch. But no, his brother fell for the old snake in the common room trick every time without fail.
For three months, you held his attention. It was a new record for Loki. Every chance he got to catch you off guard, he took. And none of them ever worked.
One day, he swears he's finally done it. You're talking so enthusiastically to the SHIELD agent before you that there's no way you know he's lurking around the corner.
"Hold on," you tell the SHIELD agent you're speaking to whose name Loki hasn't bothered to learn. You turn around to find Loki a foot away from you, "Hi, Loki."
"What the hell was that?" the SHIELD agent demands.
"Oh, it's just this game me and Loki play." You dismissively wave your hand. "He tries to sneak up on me and I find him before he does. It's sort of like a very intense game of hide and seek."
"I think he's trying to kidnap you."
"It's alright. He's my friend."
Loki falters just as he's about to storm away, "I beg your pardon?"
"What?"
"What did you just say?"
"I said that it's alright because you're my friend," you casually repeat.
"That! Right there!" Loki explains, gesturing between you and him. "When did we become friends?"
"Umm... I don't know. We've been playing this game for like three months, so like three months ago, I guess."
Loki's eyebrows furrow together. He's not quite sure if it's the most endearing or the most disturbing thing he's ever heard. Worst of all, you don't seem to be afraid of him. "I've been trying to abduct you for three months and you call me your friend?"
"Well, I know you'd bring me back eventually. Plus, I've always wanted to visit another realm, it's on my bucket list!"
"What gave you the impression that I'd return you?"
You shrug, "I'm not worried about it, I trust you."
Your words strike a chord deep within Loki. He can't remember the last time someone trusted him, but you did. You did because you considered him a friend. "You trust me because I am your friend?"
You nod repeatedly, "Pretty much."
The corner of Loki's mouth twists upward, "Huh..."
"What?"
"I think I might need to find someone new to wreak havoc on."
"Oooh, we should play a prank on Sam!"
Loki smile mischievously at you, "I think we'll get along just fine."
AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series
As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛
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maochira · 9 months
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Happy birthday to me! - uhm, us. (twin!Shidou & twin!reader)
Synopsis: You weren't willing to miss out on celebrating your birthday with your brother, only because he's in Blue Lock at the moment. And you surprising Shidou is definitely the best present you ever gave him.
Characters appearing: Shidou, Rin, Karasu, Zantetsu, Loki, Tokimitsu, Nanase (PxG, basically)
Tags: gn!twin!reader, reader looks very similar to Shidou, soft!Shidou at the end, a bit of swearing, this is during the Neo Egoist League
This is the last part of my Shidou birthday countdown event! Aka, it's his and my birthday <3
You've celebrated every single one of your birthdays together with your twin and you weren't willing to end this streak only because he's in Blue Lock at the moment.
It definitely took a lot of back and forth and tons of convincing, but you somehow managed to get the permission to visit Shidou on your birthday.
The thing is, not once has he mentioned having a twin to any of his teammates. So you can imagine everyone's surprise when you run onto the soccer field out of nowhere while the team is at practice.
"Ryu!" You call his name as you jump on him, tackling him to the ground. "Happy birthday!"
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Your brother asks in surprise, but he looks happy to see you.
"Fuck. There's two of them." Rin curses under his breath, but still loud enough for his teammates to hear.
"Hell yeah! There's two of them!" Karasu cheers.
Zantetsu adjusts his glasses and tries to sound intelligent. "Well uhm, technically they're one of each. Except for if one of them is a clone."
"Well, I don't think one of them is a clone..." Nanase adds to that and quickly afterwards he finds himself listening to a very unlogical explanation by Zantetsu why neithet you more Shidou is a clone. Even though the most obvious explanation would be that cloning isn't possible.
Rin decides to ignore what Zantetsu is talkibg about and looks over at Loki, expecting for practice to continue soon. But unfortunately for him, Loki has decided to end practice a bit earlier today so you and your brother get to celebrate.
Rin already knows he's not going to join that. Instead, while the rest of the team and you go over to one of the rooms that can be used for your celebration, he's staying on the field to continue practicing on his own.
"I didn't know Shidou has a twin." Karasu says while taking a closer look at you. "Damn, you look very similar to him."
"You never told them about me?" You say to your brother, acting as if you're offended by this. "Ryu! Everyone should know about your favourite person!"
"I never thought it was necessary to let them know!" Shidou sounds defensive, but he's joining in on the joke.
"Never thought it was necessary? Oh come on!"
Before your brother gets to talk back, Tokimitsu gets between you and Shidou to interrupt your 'argument' because he believes both of you are being serious.
"G-guys calm down- Hey uhm, (Y/N)?" He sounds as if he's unsure about pronouncing your name right. "Maybe... your brother never got the chance to tell us about you? But... you seem very nice."
Even though he misunderstood the situation, Tokimitsu's words immediately melt your heart. So you can't help but pull him into a hug.
"Ryu! Your friend here is so cute!" You giggle and hug Tokimitsu a little too tight, barely letting him breathe. Also, calling him "cute" put a bright blush on Tokimitsu's face which he's definitely going to get teased about as soon as you're gone.
The celebration itself isn't something that special. The team gathered some snacks and put on some music, but besides that there's not much going on. Well, you did get to talk to all of your brother's teammates and got to know them a little bit better, so that's something.
But you don't mind it not being a big and special party. It feels nice to just see your brother again.
Also, at some point you notice Rin joining in the room. But he just stands there and doesn't do much. Although sometimes, he looks as if he's about to approach you but never acrually does it.
At some point a bit later, you somehow find yourself talking to Loki. "I hope my brother isn't causing you too much trouble. I know how overwhelming he can get."
"Oh no, don't worry." Loki responds with a smile. "I've found my way to manage everything, somehow."
"Are you sure? I mean, he is a handful to handle."
"I heard that!" Shidou, who's standing a few meters away from you, calls out.
"I'm telling the truth, idiot!" You yell back.
And that's hos the sibling banter starts once again. Except this time Karasu joins in, just for the fun of it.
Time passes by way faster than you'd like it to. It feels like barely an hour has passed by when you realize it's almost time to leave. In no way you're leaving the small mess that was created.
While cleaning up, you end up in a little conversation with Nanase. It's not much, but he's so sweet, you pull him into a hug like you did with Tokimitsu. Those two definitely have won a little place in your heart.
Saying goodbye to your brother was a whole thirty minute process. More and more hugs, more and more goodbyes, and generally just repeating how much you'll miss each other over and over. But in the end, Shidou lets you go from his embrace - his hugs are just as strong as yours are - and you leave the room to walk down the hallway.
And just as you're about to open the door to leave, you hear someone running after you. You expected it to be your brother or maybe Karasu, but no. It's Rin. Definitely a surprise to end the day - but not one to complain about.
He looks a little embarrassed but is trying to hife that. "I haven't uh. I haven't said happy birthday to you so... Happy Birthday."
A soft smile spreads across your face. "Thank you, Rin."
And then, you turn around to open the door but stop once again when you hear someone else's footsteps running in your direction. Just this time you don't even get to turn around.
Suddenly, you feel your brother hugging you from behind, causing you to let out a little chuckle. "Oh Ryu..."
His arms around you tighten a little more as je pulls you closer. "Thank you for coming... I miss you already."
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