#don’t u dare be mean to danny ric

[mistressemmedi]

We want the full story about u and Tom Brady

I can’t believe y’all are making me boot up my computer again for the second time. 

Alright, pop a squat and settle down, this will be a long story:

Also putting this under the cut because I don’t want those crazy fans of his to find me (does Tumblr have a football fandom? Idk) 

The year: 2016 - the setting: Montreal, Grand Prix 

At the time Tag Heuer sponsored Red Bull racing. I guess Tag also sponsors individual athletes like Lindsey Vonn and, as you may guess, Tom Brady. 

So I’m out with my friends, who are all couples (relevant later) - I’m fifth wheeling, loving life. We’re at dinner and I find out that Tag Heuer is going to have some kind of event with Daniel Ricciardo (!!!!). My friends agree we should check it out. 

As I’m reading the social media post, I let them know two other people will be there as well. One is Tom Brady and the other some soccer player from Montreal’s team. 

Note - I had NO idea who Tom Brady is. I’m European and I got the attention span of a squirrel, I don’t follow American football AT ALL. 

Anyways, I say Brady’s name and the two guys are like “OMG!”

Whatever, weirdos. Danny Ric will be there, let’s gooooo.

We finish dinner and go to this event, which is at Victoria Square. There’s LOADS of people and most of them are in football jerseys - WTF? 

Soccer player comes on stage, small cheer from the crowd. 

Danny Ric comes on stage, I lose my mind and crowd cheers enthusiastically.

Brady comes on stage and the crowd LOSES it’s mind - there was a guy next to me yelling “BRAAAAADY” every 5 minute, like some kind of mating call (I remember this guy vividly - his body odor was... Pungent) 

I mean, the man has luscious beautiful long hair but also had a forehead big enough you could land a Boeing 737 on it, so I don’t get the ‘visual’ appeal.

They play some kind of game on stage, I try to get closer to get pictures to no avail. Whatever I guess. Fuck Red Bull and Danny Ric anyways.

So I find my friends (we got separated) and tell them, “Let’s go, too many people and I’m getting a bit claustrophobic”. They agree and we leave.

At that point, the whole event ends and the boys come off stage. I find myself in Dan’s way, freeze like a deer and manage to snap this picture (relevant) 

Dan literally being manhandled away by bodyguards from yours truly LOL 

So, as I am giggling away and trying to upload it to Insta (gotta get them likes yo) I get separated from my friends who are doing ‘couple-y’ stuff. Gross. 

What I don’t realize is that 4 men who are the size of a double IKEA Billy bookshelf are coming my way. I glance up, register “Oh people”, DON’T MOVE (I’m an idiot) and go back to my phone. 

I get bumped by one of them “What the fuck” I say loudly. 

Big guy and Forehead Dude (Brady) stare at me like “Who is this peasant and why does she dare speak?” 

I get angrier, another one of the Billy guys pushes me and I loudly yell “WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING DAMAGE” which was the wrong thing to say as now Forehead is getting more agitated at me. 

But he gets quickly whisked away by the Billy crew before he can say anything while I’m left standing there, fuming, because I got pushed by two random guys.

My friends are waaay back, they saw it all go down and are dying. Literally laughing themselves stupid over the whole interaction.

They then take their time to explain who Brady is, why he’s a big deal and all that.

So, that’s my story dear anon. I was ready to fight Forehead dude and his bodyguards despite the fact that they probably bench-press my weight with one arm

#anon #q&a #tom brady