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#do with this information whatever u want thats how i looked like when i was uhhh
beescake · 3 months
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i am in love with your sollux i think
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sollux love party :]
if you’re interested heres some of my personal fondness thoughts on him.. big warning for the mega long read ahead aye
as we alr know sollux's rejection of participation somewhat mirrors dave's rejection of heroism, but even without getting cooked to completion i still find sollux's character v compelling beyond the fourth wall
as someone who doesnt get a pinch of that Protagonist Sparkle to begin with, he can openly say he wants to leave anytime…. and unlike dave, he actually Can leave the scene anytime. but he can never be truly Free from the story via permanent character death like the other trolls.
his irrelevancy is indeed relevant - he’s there so u can point him out.
while his image is intended to be a relic of past internet subculture, his role is not only about hehehaha being a Chad or a 2000s cyberforum 2²chan haxxor ragequit gamebro.
his continued existence also happens to add a Bit to the overarching themes of homestuck! a Bit that gives him longer-lasting thematic relevance compared to the trolls who could’ve had more character potential but didnt get to survive beyond the main story.
the Bit in question:
his defiance contributes to the illusion of agency (treating characters = people with autonomy). he’s “aware” of it, and that recognition is worth noting enough to forcibly keep him alive as both reward and punishment.
considering how his personality & classpect is designed its definitely a very haha thing for hussie to do LOL. he’s made to be op asf so he's resigned to doing dirty work, gradually deteriorating along the way but never truly dying. as fans have mentioned before, him openly rejecting involvement after a while of grim tolerance is like if the sim u were controlling suddenly stopped, looked up and gave u the finger while u were step six into the walkthrough for Every Possible Sim Death Animation.
but since he’s just a sim… the more he hates it, the more you keep him around. if ur sim started complaining abt your whimsical household storyline you’d definitely keep that little fuck.
but yeah i like that sollux is just idling. the significance of his presence being that one dude who's always reliably Somewhere, root core Unchanged, no individual ambitions (possibly due to fear of consequence?), and design-wise: a staple representative product of his time.
compared to dirk's character, who has aged phenomenally well into the present (themes of control + AR + artificial intelligence, clearer exploration around navigating relationships/sexuality, infinite possibilities of self-splinterhood and trait inheritance), sollux's potential is really... contained. bitter. defeatist. limiting and frustrating in the way old tech is.
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the world continues moving on to shinier, brighter, more advanced automated things - minimalist and metaverse or whatever but sollux is still here 🧍‍♂️ going woohoo redblue 3d. (tho personally i imagine his vibe similar to what the kids call cassette futurism on pinterest mixed w more grimy grunge insectoid influences eheh)
conceptually-speaking,
at the foundation of it all, the rapid pace of modern development was built off the understanding of ppl like sollux in the past, who were There actively at work while the dough was still beginning to rise
thats one of the cool things abt the idea of trolls preceding humans! the idea that trolls like sollux excelled back when lots of basic shit still needed to be discovered, building structures like networks and codes from scratch, and humans will eventually inherit and reinvent that knowledge in ways that become so optimized it makes the old manual effort seem archaic, slow, and labour-intensive.
but despite information/resources/shortcuts being more accessible now, much of the new highly-anticipated stuff released on trend still end up unfinished, inefficient, or expiring quickly due to cutting corners under severe capitalistic pressures
meanwhile, some of the old stuff frm past generations of thorough, exploratory and perfectionistic development still remains working, complete, and ever so sturdy.
those things continue to exist, just outside our periphery with either:
zero purpose left for modern needs (outdated/obsolete)
or
far too important to replace or destroy, bcs of its surprisingly essential and circumstantial usefulness in one niche specific area.
which are honestly? both points that sum up sollux pree well.
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dramatic ending sorry. anw are u still on the fence or are u Sick abt him like me </3
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honeytonedhottie · 2 months
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beginners guide to manifesting⋆.ೃ࿔*:・⭐️
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the definition of manifesting (the law of assumption) is simply, whatever you assume to be true, is true. we are ALWAYS manifesting subconsciously. your beliefs/thoughts are what u experience. therefore if u change ur thoughts , then you'll experience differently.
VOCAB USED A LOT IN THE LOA COMMUNITY :
3D/4D - the 3D refers to ur physical. what you're experiencing physically. the 3D acts as a mirror, and reflects whats in the 4D. the 4D refers to ur mental. ur beliefs, thoughts and assumptions that u continuously think. whats in ur 4D will reflect in ur 3D. not the other way around. this is important to remember when manifesting. if u want a change in the physical, a change must first be made in ur mind.
an analogy to help understand it is, if ur looking in the mirror, and u see that u have lipstick in ur teeth. if u wiped the mirror in hopes that the lipstick stain would disappear, would it disappear. no ofc not. u would have to wipe the lipstick off of your own teeth first, then when u looked into the mirror, you wouldn't see the stain. its the same way with the 4D and 3D. u can't expect to see change if u dont wipe the lipstick off of ur teeth. trying to change the 3D/wipe the mirror won't do anything for you.
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WAVERING - wavering is flip flopping between two different stories that u tell urself. it's important to persist in one story and not flip flop between "i have it/no i dont". if u affirm that ur rich but ur continuously thinking thoughts like "ugh i'll never be rich" or "im so broke/i never have money" ur self sabotaging. stop that.
THE RULES OF MANIFESTING? - there is none. ur assumptions are true. therefore ur the one who puts the limits on ur manifestations. do what u will with that information. but the rules and limitations are made BY you, FOR you, bcuz its ur reality.
LAW OF ASSUMPTION VS LAW OF ATTRACTION - these are two distinctly different things.
law of attraction if im not mistaken focuses more on things like ur vibrations, making ur vibrations match what ur trying to manifest. like its name suggests law of attraction focuses on ATTRACTING ur desires, the idea that ur constantly putting energy out into the universe, and negative thoughts and emotions -> will manifest negative outcomes. (pls correct me in the comments if this is false)
law of assumption is whatever u assume to be true is true. whether u prefer law of assumption/attraction, the law of assumption is still proven true regardless. thats because its literally science and how the universe works. it focuses on changing ur assumptions -> to therefore change ur experiences. there isnt any outside validation (the universe etc) everything that u need is within u already.
personally, i prefer the law of assumption bcuz it gives me control and it ALWAYS works.
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AFFIRMATIONS - affirmations are thoughts that you'd think if u had ur desire. repeating ur affirmations familiarizes ur brain with having ur desire which makes it SUPER helpful when manifesting something consciously. the thoughts that u have every single day are ur affirmations and thats whats being proven true to u in ur everyday life. FOR EXAMPLE ; "the sky is blue" is an affirmation that is proven true everyday bcuz you manifested it (subconsciously not consciously). if u create a new assumption, then that'll be proven true too. ur thoughts today = what u experience tomorrow
IN A NUTSHELL - controlling ur thoughts and mind -> manifests whatever u want into ur life. there are no limits except for the ones that u put on urself. whatever u can conceptualize is possible (so dont go and ask ppl "can i manifest x,y, and z" bcuz YES U CAN) ur only task is to : affirm/saturate/visualize, whatever ur bag is -> use repetition when u have doubts/limiting beliefs -> persist regardless of what u see in the 3d and dont waver -> reap the fruit of ur manifestation.
go and manifest whatever u want, the world is your oyster
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deathbxnny · 10 months
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Hi again :D could u do like a s/o who has a little sister like griseo(from Honkai Impact) and they babysit her with her lover? Maybe welt, jingyuan, caelus? Thats all ty remember to stay hydrated and have plenty of rest <33
-----♡
A/N: Hey Rei! I absolutely love Griseo, she's so adorable! Thank you for this cute request!<33
Content: Fluff, Griseo like sibling, established relationship, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!
((Not fully proofread!))
-----♡
》Welt Yang
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He's very good with children and therefore perfect for the job. He'll keep you two close to him, whilst he's working on something in his room on the Express, just so he can ensure that you'll be safe.
Your sister is very peaceful and quiet, which he's very glad about. He'll provide her with anything she may need, especially if it's to create art. He encourages her talents and always hangs up anything she drew for him proudly on his wall. Whilst she isn't very expressive, you can tell that she appreciates it.
Whenever he's out with the two of you, he'll always make sure your sister is holding either onto his hand or yours, so she doesn't get lost. He'll take her to see nice and pretty views, that he knows she'll want to draw.
He answers most of her questions perfectly and with ease, not minding if she asks too many of them either. He's always happy to inform and educate her on anything she wants to know.
Honestly, you can just lean back and relax. He'll handle her just fine.
-----♡
》Jing Yuan
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He's good at multitasking and can keep an eye on your sister just fine, whilst he works in his office. He'll let her draw on his desk sitting next to him, complimenting her work every now and then. You find it way too cute and he knows it.
He's very relaxed and calm at all times, any questions she may have will be answered with ease. He'll get some maids to get her snacks and listen to her randomly tell him something about an obscure topic.
Whenever you go on walks, he'll maybe put her on his shoulders or hold her hand, whilst he pulls you close by your waist. He does that to fluster you, especially when people confuse you all as a family. It makes him beam with pride.
He'll play some games with her during his breaks and teaches her how to play Xiangqi with him. He's just so gentle and patient with her, it's too adorable to see him this way for you.
Another man who can definitely handle your sister on his own, so you can take some time for yourself and relax.
-----♡
》Caelus
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He's a little nervous and worried at first, because he's scared to do some wrong or offend her in some way on accident. But soon after meeting your sister, he realises that there is no need to be worried.
He'll still need alot of your help though, mainly because he's unsure of how to deal with a kid like her. And so he just does whatever she wants to do. Going with the flow seems to always work out for him and so that ends up with him drawing with her for hours on end. It was actually fun and relaxing for him.
He'll try answering all her questions, though some he'll probably also have to look up for her. He gets a little panicked when he can't answer something, which makes you thankful help him out. It's adorable to see how much he cares about doing his job right.
Caelus is definitely holding onto both of your hands, whilst you walk. Or maybe he'll carry your little sister around, if she wants to. Whatever keeps you both close and in his line of sight for safety, is good enough for him.
He is glad, when you tell him how proud you are of him by the end of the day. He always does his best for you, after all.
-----♡
A/N: I hope this was alright! Thank you again for the cute request!<33
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☆●○☆Summary:Miles (1610!) Milo (42!) Twins Au introduce themselved to a new neighbor.
Introduction
You open the door to see a pai of twins carrying tupper wear filled with food.
"I didnt order food panda I think your in the wrong door." The one who had barids face retorted. "Were not fast food drivers we're ya next door neighbor" The other nervously smiled. "Our Mom wanted us to welcome you to our building! We hope you like empanadas!" You nodded in respect "Thank you" taking the tupper wears they left immediately.
"They were kinda pretty " Miles said scartching his neck. "For you" Milo snarled as he rolled his eyes. "HEY!"
Body
You were in the park playing with your bubble gun that you bought for yourself. It was fun on how the bubbles look and pop or when they just stick to your finger. The raindbow that they sometimes make or the wobbly reflection you can see when u squint. Bubbles are so fun.
"Hey! What are you doing??" A weird suited man asked. "Why are you dressed like that?" You asked as you continue to shoot more bubbles." I am spiderman" His eyes thingy lowered. "Why?" He froze at that answer.
"What do you mean "why"?"
"It sounds weird and you dont really look like a spider"
And thats how you became friends with a bootleg sorry weird bettle thats suppose to be spider theme superhero. It wasnt really eventful just you explaining why you like bubbles so much. It reminded you of childhood , home ,and happy things.
"So why are you playing alone? I am sure your friends will love to have turn with your bubble gun!" Beetleman asked. "I dont have friends here" you layed down in the grass shooting bubbles in the air. The beetle man more than average eyemask thingy rose. "What do you mean?" "I moved here from somewhere faraway" you dropped your hand holding the bubble gun. "Well I can be your fr-" Before he can respond his spidersense heard the sound of police sirens. "SHIT I GOTTA GO" he swinged away without hesitation leaving you behind .
Shrugging at the beetle man you continue playing with bubbles happily alone.
When Miles little run in with robbers was finish he slapped his head. "SHIT I DIDNT GET HER NAME!" he swunged back to the park spot you were at but to see it empty. "Fuck she must have thought I was an asshole for leaving her ,here " Slapping his head again. Internally screaming at himself for being insensative he begrudgingly swinged himself back to his room.
"MILES GET UP MA FORCING US TO TALK TO THE HER AGAIN" Milo stormed himself in groaning. "Why is she so worried about a stranger" he rolled his eyes , Miles gave an awkward laugh. "I mean she kinda is lonely?" Milo rolled his eyes again. "Not our problem" "Dont be like , lo" "Whatever let's get this done already."
Hearing a knock from your door you lazily walked to it. "Hello , again " The braid one "tch" looking at you as Miles smacked him. "Sorry about this but we never got your name and our Mom just worried about you seemingly living alone?" You blinked at his response. "Oh , I didnt say my name? (Y/n) (l/n) and I am a international student but I do live with my older brother he just works alot." Miles seem relived at the information as Milo just wanted to leave. "Well I am Miles and this is Milo." Miles gestured to Milo to respond which he simply "sup" you.
"Sooooo our Mom wanted us to invite you over and your brother can come since your new and all-" Milo cutted him off. "Just come at 5 sharp dont be late" dragging Miles back to their home.
"Oi , Shobe who are they?" Your older brother shouted across the sofa. "They invited us dinner next door." Your brother perked up. "Finally YOU CAN MAKE FRIENDS" you glared at him throwing your slippers in his ugly face.
Ending
You and your brother mostly you holding out tupperware to give to the neighbors. Leche plan and egg pie.
A wonderful women opened the door her face brightening at them. "Oh WELCOME!You two were just in time!" She took the tupperwear of food. "MILES MILO COME DOWN HERE!!!" she shouted.
As everyone sat down for food . The tough man , next to the bright woman , miles next milo ,next to your brother ,and you after.
"So I am Rio and this my husband jeff" the bright woman introduced as your brother smiled. "I am Lucas this my shobe (y/n) and its amazing to meet you!" Your brother elbowed you "Salamat , po" you said. "We're immagrants sorry about Shobe she's shy" Lucas held your shoulders ,Rio waved her hand. "No dont apologize its not bad. It must have been hard leaving your home behind"
And for the entire dinner it was just Rio and lucas talking well Jeff came in conversation time to time but not word from any of the three teens.
"How about the two of you show (y/n) you guys room? " Jeff said to the twins. Miles nodded as Milo rolled his eyes but still agreed.
As the two led you to there room it was just an average teen boys room. "Your room is.... comfortable" You drop to sit on the floor. The duo looked confuse on what to say or do since you looked unintrested in anything and everything. "So why you moved here" Milo asked for once not beeing rude just wanting to cut the silence. "Scholarship " This perked the intrest on the boys sitting down on Miles bed across you. "From what school?" Miles asked. "Vision something" you played with ur hands. "That's cool we go there too!" Miles smiled and Milo looking impressed. "You must be smart to get a scholarship" Milo arm crossed. You simply nodded.
Milo was not impress with you but at the same he is. He doesnt like your somewhat ignorant attitude and his first impression was not the best but he can't deny. You look "cute" playing with your hands. You seem to not like eye contact much.
"Why does your brother call you Shobe? Its not even close to what your name sounds like." Milo said a hint of an attitude expecting you to react or something but nothing again. "It just means little sister nothing to it" Miles then asked "So what do you call your brother?" "Kuya" It kinda annoys them on how straightforward your answers where like just one word they just wanted to know a little bit more.
"(Y/n) do you like art?" Miles asked hoping for a longer reaction. "I do I like painting and I like musicals" You smiled softly. Jackpot. "Musicals? I was never really into dear even hansen or just chill to be honest" Milo shrugged. You perked up "Well have you tried Ride of cyclone or the aladin musical? Theyre my favorite" eyes sparkling so bright that they felt like beeing blinded. "How about the first one? We still have time..." Miles looked at the clock. Your eyes sparkled sparkled harder like what the fuck please stop your scaring them.
Lucas knocking at the door to see two boys crying as you look at them patheticly. "It's not that bad-" "THE STUPID DOLL'S SONG HITS HARD FOR WHAT?!"Milo wiped his snot. "OCEAN CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WAS MWAH" Miles sobbed.
"Shobe" Lucas called you , smilling. "Kauban nimo sila ?" You nodded to him as you took your phone and stood up to leave. "We'l watch Aladin the musical next its more into comedy dont worry."
Hey , I kinda just wanted to make this cause its 10 pm and whatever and want like a slowburn friendship type I kinda know its mid and (y/n) isnt eccentric and full of personality but I kinda wanted to show a version which I dont see often is a (y/n) who just seems emotionaly distant with themselves cause that is alot of teen exp and kinda wanted to make sense with her moving from another country. Also I kinda wanted to represent chinese-filipino since I dont really see it often. "Shobe" is from fukien/hokkien. Also hokkien is popular in other countries such as singapore. Srry this is stupid long just wanted to explain.
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miitarashi · 4 months
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OK, so being a woman, in many cases, means getting the dreaded bloodbath, so, as someone who gets the most painful and heavy periods known to man (thats how i feel anyway, i often get cramps that leave me physically unable to walk for up to almost four hours), could u do headcannons where Tintin takes care of the reader during that time? What he would do if we had cramps or just feeling ill on our period, I just think he would be a total sweetheart when it comes to caring for someone who feels sick
Nah i totally feel you on this one,i have really bad cramps too lol. Such cute request need to be done 😌👌🏽
[Name] = reader (female)
Warnings: bloodbath cuz God fucking dammit-
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☆Tintin headcanons☆
- Taking care of you on your period
Let's just start by the fact that this boy didn't had that much contact with other womans before. You was the first more active in his life.
Castaphiore is not that present so she don't properly count here (even more on the movie since Tintin only saw her,not even talked before lol)
So,he didn't really know what to expect,to say that he wasn't surprised is a lie even more watching your squirm in pain because of the bloodbath of the month coming down.
The boy got scared for a second,confused and then was just the "Oh..." from the realization lol.
But if you was dramatic about it (just like me,always feel like i'm dying slowly) it'll be 100% more funny. Like
Tintin just got back from the library passing by your home,hear your painful pleas and rush to see you squirming in pain
"[Name],what happen? Are you hurt?"
"Yes! I'm dying!! It hurts like hell! .....i'm seen the light...it's so bright..."
"[Name] don't say it,tell what is wrong,where are you hurted??"
"...Tintin...Tintin my love...my last words...listen and listen well..."
"[Name] please stop and explain!"
"It's this damm uterus!! Take this out!!"
".....what in the great heavens-"
After you finally calmed down (just enough to not make another drama) and explain about the period bro was literally like this 😐
Almost gave him a heart attack but hey! It was hurting you know? You had your reasons.
But after all drama,he soon put his hands at work asking what you wanted and what would make you feel better in his jornalist kinda of way gauthering all the information he could to not need to ask again,only act.
Even more after seen your state,feeling this much pain couldn't be normal.
First thing he did was to get the water compress with hot water for you and quickly get out to buy whatever you asked.
Chocolate,medicine,pads and everything and he new the type since he made sure to ask about it.
Your fluid temper was even a bit funny to watch. In a moment he was cuddling with you because you asked and wanted comfort but suddenly you pushed him away complaining about the closeness.
But as soon he walked a little away you begged for him to come back receiving a well deserved smug look from him.
If you got angry,that was the easy one. He already deal with Haddock,bro now the hints.
"WHY THIS HAPPEN?? IT UNFAIR AS FUCK! WHY I HAVE TO FUCKING BLEED TO DEATH???"
"Indeed,you're right"
"EXACTLY! THIS FUCKING THING! I DON'T EVEN WANT CHILDRENS! WHY THIS SHIT HAPPEN TO ME??? JUST BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING WOMAN?? I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE ONE???"
"Now now..." smoothly coming closer,putting a hand on your shoulder and a chocolate bar on the other. "You're indeed right my dear,now,don't force yourself too much,here" slowly moving the bar towards your mouth that you open and munch the sweet
"There,better?" You nod. "Cuddles and nap?" You nod again and softly follow him.
Bro need one chocolate and a dream lol.
He spend the whole day with you until you feel better,even so he still stay just to be sure that at least the excrutiating pain passed.
And he respect every little thing. You become clingy? He'll keep you around,hugging you from behind,resting his head on your shoulder while watching something, never fully keeping his hands off you.
Want space? He'll keep close just enough to hear and help you with anything you need.
Suddenly feeling sad and ugly? Shower you with compliments saying every little thing he likes or find cute while caressing the back of your hand with his thumb.
Renting and mumbling? Keep talking because this man is listening and focused on your words to discuss about it independent of the subject.
Overal,he'll do his utmost best to help yoi with the monthly bloodbath, even more prepared after this first proper experience of your living hell that you'll not pass alone anymore 😘
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A/N: Hey there! Sorry for the late post,just really was working on that one long fic i just posted on my AO3 account but! I'm back now to write the requests that are getting dust on my ask box lol. And bro??? Why and how i'm so close to have 100 followers?? Like what- thank you guys so much! 😘
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blu-ish · 5 months
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💫Blu theory timeeee :D✨
Okay, not sure if anyone else has already said or thought about this but, I NEEDED TO WRITE THIS DOWN TO GET IT OUTTA MY SILLY HEAD AND YALL ARE COMIN DOWN WITH ME >:)
(Digital Circus Edition!!!)
LONG POST WARNING LMAO THE BRAINROT IS REAL SEND HELP 💀
Now that I've got your attention hehehe, lets take a momentary deep dive into the wacky world of The Amazing Digital Circus!
So lets review what we know from the pilot ep.
The world inhabits some sort of virtual reality.
Its completely run by AI, that being Caine, Bubble, and other artificial characters that seem to be spontaneously created by Caine at will. (For example the Gloink Queen, those wooden mannequins, ect.)
The human victims are transported to the "digital realm" when they put on some sort of headset.
The transition completely wipes their memories of their past lives.
When the human mind is clouded with existential dread, that being caused by loosing all sense of sanity at the realization of never being able to leave, the person becomes "abstracted" and aggressive.
This behavior not only affects the other "players" but the AI as well in some cases completely destroying them.
Caine is capable of fixing small abstractions (like Pomni and Ragatha) but unable to with a completely abstracted individual. Which seems to automatically cross their pfp on their respective doors and generate new slots for new players.
What we DONT KNOW as of when I'm writing this lmao...
Who built/programmed the headsets and why?
How are all these people getting possession of them?
Is it a company? A case of rouge AI? A tiktok trend gone wrong???
What happens to the victims originals body? Does anyone in the real world know what's going on??
How long has everyone been in there?? Does time work differently in the virtual world?? Does time pass at all??
DOES GETTING ABSTRACTED MEAN U DED??? Or is there a way to fix being abstracted?? (GIVE KINGER HIS WIFE BACK)
Now that THATS outta the way... lets move on to my theory.
I firmly believe Caine genuinely has no clue why humans are popping into the circus at all. I know this already has been debunked by goose but I just wanted to clarify.
He doesn't really understand human emotion, he is an AI after all, so he naturally lacks empathy. All he really knows is to keep the humans entertained, censor swearing, and be silly lmao. It's refreshing from the classic "grrr angy bot mad at hooman" stuff. NOT SAYING THATS WHAT HAPPENING BUT SPECIFICALLY FOR CAINE AND BUBBLE LOL. they just goofy fr.
It kinda reminds me of the generative AI, like whats going on today with ChatGPT or CharacterAI. Its a software that entertains the human by creating random means of conversation or environmental; storytelling. (Its so funny because I'm writing a paper about it in college, I personally don't support AI generative content but it's still very fascinating to explore how these machines work and function. And this is just a silly cartoon after all lmaooo.)
The reason I bring this up is because of the "Machine Learning" aspect of it. You see, generative AI nowadays is fed certain information from its human user, which then uses what knowledge its given in the input into the output.
This could be the reason why the "exit door" kept popping up. Because the algorithm is being fed information from its human users and the output being the existence of a "fake exit" door. The software is just trying to simulate what the humans want but cant physically do because as of right now, its impossible.
I also think this affects how humans are perceived in their avatars. Everyone has a unique look to them when they enter the circus, this could be caused by the AI reading whatever was left of their thoughts or feelings before entering the virtual world.
Ragatha is perceived as a doll, or some sort of child's toy. (she kinda reminds me of the ones I used to have as a little girl.) It could've recognized something she was fond of, or maybe how she perceived herself when she was human, maybe she saw herself at some point being toyed with mentally or perhaps she was in a situation were she felt like she had no control. Which is why she attempts to stay optimistic and see the brighter side of every situation.
Jax is some sort of anthropomorphic rabbit, (I like to believe his name is a play on Jack Rabbit lmao.) not sure why the algorithm would perceive him as a rabbit?? Since rabbits usually symbolize humility, kindness, and compassion. Which he is clearly NOT LMAOOOO. (then again it could be the software being ironic 💀)
But I think its more or less his mannerism's of his eyes and mouth. His teeth are almost always closed and his resting face is a sly smile. I adore the idea many have had of it symbolizing him "lying through his teeth". Which he could 100% be doing. Also, he seems the most unaffected human considering the situation he's found himself in, being trapped in a virtual world for eternity and everything doesn't seem to bother him much. (He rlly is winning the idgaf war)
Maybe he had to learn to be that way when he was a human, to just become "unbothered" by his crappy situations and turn them into a joke he could inflict onto others. Or maybe its just the way he is idk. He seems to be actively trying to get the others to hate him more then they're situation rn.
Then there's Kinger, who he and his wife has both been turned into chess pieces. Which actually gives us a lot of information about who they were or what they acted like. And their relationship to one another.
In chess, the Queen is the most powerful piece in the whole game, and she actively protects the king from the enemy pieces. As for the King.. wellll, not so much. Being the weakest piece in the whole game, and the most venerable without the queen or other chess pieces, it fits almost to a T. (Poor kinger...)
Maybe when they were humans, Kinger and his wife were clearly never really apart, maybe they had a silly date idea and wanted to try VR...
Gangle is interesting to me, she has different masks that show different emotions, and effectively cause her to change her mood drastically depending on which one she wears. (I mean we've only seen her with the sad mask on since her other one broke, maybe she's normally rlly chill??)
perhaps she normally bottled up her emotions when she was human? maybe the computer turned her into a delicate ribbon like creature with very breakable persona faces for this reason??
Zooble instantly reminded me of preschool, we used to have these shapes we could mix and mash together to create our own creatures. Their design is the most unique outta all of them, this could easily represent their mindspace or some sort of confusion they were going through when they were human. They just seem very DONE with everything lmao. mood.
As for Pomni, well, she's the reason I wanted to write the whole long thing hsjshss.
Her avatar is jester like, and a jester is known for entertaining guests of higher status. Could this have been what her job was like as a human. I know a lot of people theorize her job being an office job, and I completely agree. She could've easy felt as if she was just a jester forced to entertain or follow whatever her work life was like.
She's very nervous and rightfully confused after entering the world, wanted to leave immediately. But, I have to wonder, why would she even have a headset?? Better yet why did any of them put one on at all??
I think it was a form of escapism from reality...
That's what VR is in general right? A way to escape the real world. A virtual reality.
Maybe the humans were lulled into a sense of escapism from their troubled lives, paying taxes, dealing with bosses, family, emotions.. or maybe were just genuinely curious..
I mean the first thing people really said after watching the digital circus was how amazing it would be to just end up in a place were you could just do "fun things all day" or "not have to worry".
And I think that's exactly what the AI wanted and is trying to do.
LITERALLY.
We all know AI isn't the brightest.. all things considered. Its a machine, it takes things LITERALLY.
Caine is just doing what he is programmed to do. He doesn't know what's going on, maybe he doesn't even know WHY he's the ringmaster in all of this.
But someone DID create him.
Someone DID develop this generative virtual world.
The question is why?
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neotrances · 6 months
Note
god that anon.. 😭 i hate ppl using the word vanilla for ppl who want tender sex as if thats somehow cringe or boring or childish or not Real Enough or whatever. some ppl online make it a sport to look down on ppl who want sex that is tender and loving .like i 100 percent support ppls preferences as long as its respectful n theres informed consent on both sides and so on bla bla and u can have all the problematic sex u want but i do not get why its looked down upon if u dont welcome violence adjacent or more ‘unusual’ acts into ur sex life? again this is not moral judgement on ppl who do welcome that but in so many cases ppl who use the word vanilla to describe someones sex life just sound so misogynist often with racism on top or that bc black women get this treatment way more … agh im bad at expressing myself but wow some of ur anons regularly do my head in i dont know how u survive it
when ppl use vanilla as a insult it tells me they are not a trustable person like no form of consenting sex is “lesser” obviously but its strange that someone saying they donot want violent sex etc is a “lame” thing when the only thing that matters is the consent of both parties, pretending like “vanilla” sex is shameful is extremely bizarre bc most ppl that treat rough or violent sex as default never consult with their partners and help make a culture where women typically r expected to just take any kind of sexual behavior divorced from their needs or wants, idk how they don’t realize they contribute to the widespread misogyny that happens bc of that but it’s also like . me criticizing ur kink won’t kill u, it won’t stop u from doing it again, i am not holding a gun to ur head, if u wanna wear a diaper or have ur partner call u their daughter or want to do rape play nothing i say will prevent u from doing so, but acting like pointing out the negatives from said behavior is some kind of witch hunt from “puritans” that will end with u being jailed is the stupidest thing in the world
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alpinezro · 5 months
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hi... I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT TO ASK but ive admired how you render for a long time and you mentioned a while back in a post that you'd studied light particles n how they work and i have been. deathly curious as to how you went about doing that... drawing from reference and doing studies of course, but was there any particular way you went about it? i hope this finds you well. anyways . sorry ! thank you for your time
no need to apologize, and thank you so much for asking! not sure i can provide the best explanation, but most of what i learned was off of youtube and some blog-ish websites. this probably wont make any sense at all but ill try my best.
The Anatomy of Shadows
a big part of it was learning the anatomy of shadows, specifically the terminator and different varieties. heres a diagram,
terminators are just where the light and shadow meet. you always want to be able to tell where the terminator starts and ends!!! be CONFIDENT and BOLD with them!!!! they communicate so much information about structure
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more on the different types of terminators/shadows. the ones i most use are cast and body.
a great example of these is the rembrandt triangle, composed of the shadow cast by the nose (cast shadow) and the shadow of the cheek (body shadow). body shadows are so so aewsome because they represents changes in planes. cast shadows r just kinda there. but i think they get softer the further away from the object they are since the light particles wiggle their way underneath and create reflection/ambient light
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Ambient Occlusion and Light
SPEAKING OF WHICH!!! ambient light is basically just, the light particles that are bouncing around in a scene. imagine you're at the beach and its a really cloudy day, the shadows arent gonna be dramatic like they would if you were in a dark room with one light source.
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youd think that we're kinda like. enveloped in light by default but no, we're pretty much always in shadow. shadows are the normal part. light is a strange freak that broke into your house and fucked everything up.
more about ambient occlusion. ambient occlusion just occurs when objects get close together and light cant wiggle its way in, as stated earlier. heres a shitty example. AO is key to realism.
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this guy explains it better than i ever could
youtube
Lighting Focus or Whatever the Fawk its Called I Forgot But There's Definitely a Scientific/Cinematic Term For This
another thing. level of detail in shadows is gonna be way different than in light and vice versa. u know when u spend a bunch of time outside and u go inside and its just solid black for a few seconds? its a similar idea here, ur eyes are so focused on the lit area they dont even give a shit abt the shadows.
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because of this, i try to keep shaded areas blurred. a lot of detail is implied, just let the viewers mind fill in the blanks.
last but not least,
Subsurface Scattering (on the skin, at least)
can i be so honest with you for a second??? i dont actually know what this means, like in depth. im sure this has something to do with light penetrating through semi-transparent skincells and illuminating blood,, but i cant be sure. thats just an educated guess. past oakley is always smarter than present oakley for some reason.
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i usually combine it with reflected light to create a more cohesive look. burt like... yeah... theres plenty of people who can explain this better than me
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ok thast all i hope this helped at least a little!!!!! LOTS of youtube videos. lots of visualizing silly little particles bouncing around. i probably forgot some stuff.
this video is realy good
youtube
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sadlyghost · 2 years
Note
can u do one where the reader is marc spectors kid but acts a lot like steven grant and they have a lot more in common with steven and maybe its a bit hard for them to bond with marc but then the kid is introduced to steven so marc and the kid have to find their own unique way to bond?
maybe with the line "I dont think he'll ever understand me". up to you if u use it or not tho
cheers!
Summary: You and your father, Marc Spector, had always had trouble connecting and understanding eachother because of your differences. When you finally learn about and meet Steven, the rift between you and your father is only highlighted more, as you realise you get along with Steven better than you do with your own dad.
Pairing: Marc Spector x (platonic) Teen Daughter Reader | Steven Grant x (platonic) Teen Reader
Words: 3000
Content Warnings: Angst, slight family issues.
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Your father had always had trouble connecting with you. Maybe it was because of his own childhood. Or because you were unplanned and he had to raise you himself. Maybe it was because he didn't know how to be a parent, and had to learn everything along the way.
Whatever it was, you had both sensed it more and more as you grew. You and your father were just simply so different from eachother.
Of course he loved you with all his heart and he would accept you for who you were no matter what, but he just couldn't understand you sometimes. He found it hard to relate and connect with you, no matter how hard he tried. 
You didn't really mind. He was your father and you also loved him no matter what, but you also felt as if there was some sort of barrier between you two. Things never felt complete or at ease, there was always some aspect of awkward force when you two talked, like it was a necessary part of life, not like it was something enjoyable. But thats how things had always been, so neither of you would bring it up to the other, even though both you and your father yearned for a deeper connection with eachother.
Eventually, when he thought you were old enough, Marc explained his situation to you. He thought you were mature enough to handle the information and understand it well. He explained his DID and mentioned Steven to you, and thankfully, you were accepting and understanding of it all.
Marc had made a deal with Steven when you were young. He didn't want Steven to have to look after you when it was Marcs actions which lead to baby you unexpectedly showing up on his doorstep in a basket and with a note from Marc's ex. Steven had a seperate life which he seemed to enjoy and Marc wanted you raise you alone, so they made a deal to only introduce Steven to you when you were old enough to understand.
Marc had also recently been asking advice from Steven. As you became a teenager, the rift between you and your father had only become larger and Marc finally decided to take action before it was too late. Steven had always been more of a people person than Marc, and Marc hoped that Steven could somehow connect with you, which would then allow Steven to give Marc some tips on how to approach things better.
What Marc didn't know, is that you and Steven were going to get along way better than he ever expected.
The day that you met Steven, you felt more seen and heard than you ever had felt in your entire life. It was like you could immediately connect with him. 
"Heya luv, Marc told you about me, right?" Steven says, casually walking into the kitchen to make some tea. You nod softly, feeling a bit reserved at meeting someone new, but any tension was soon gone, as Steven made you feel extremely comfortable.
You noticed immediately that his entire demenour was different to that of your fathers. He seemed looser, more carefree, more welcoming. Not to mention that his accent was completely new to you. British you guessed. He moved around the kitchen to grab some tea bags as he hummed softly to himself. You just observed, kind of shocked to see who would usually be your tense father acting so loose and welcoming.
"Marc said you liked this herbal tea" Steven commented before turning back to you with a cup, handing it to you with a soft smile on his face. You smiled back warmly. 
"Yep, it's my favourite" you said to him through a smile. 
"I'm glad to meet another tea person" Steven joked softly with a welcoming smile. You laughed softly at his words, feeling relaxed around him. 
You both sat down at the kitchen table as you sipped your tea. Steven had been introducing himself to you while you listened. He was such a character, so different than Marc. In fact, Steven felt almost similar to who you were. You connected so easily on so many different things and it didn't feel like any sort of chore to communicate.
"You a book person?" Steven asked casually, before sipping his tea.
"Of course. Either informative non-fiction, or full on fantasy" you said through a smile. 
"Oh what non-fiction do you read??" he asked, seeming excited as he bounced up and down slightly.
"Mostly about different cultures and just general history stuff" you answered. He beamed as he smiled widely. 
"Do you know anything about Egyptian Mythology?" he asked hopefully. 
"Yeah a little bit. I've definitely always been interested in it though" you reply. He seemed to shake in excitement.
"Then look no further luv. I've got so much information on Acient Egypt, you wouldn't believe it!" he said enthusiastically. You laughed softly at his reaction.
"Would you like me to bring some books for you to read when I come around again?" he offered kindly.
"Definitely! I'd love to learn some more about it" you said through a smile. 
You and Steven talked for a few more hours. It was a relaxed friendly conversation. You guys just seemed to get along so easily. It was like you just understood eachother on a level which you had never felt with your father. It was a welcomed feeling. 
Steven seemed to enjoy it as well. He seemed just as relieved to find someone with similar interests as him. Moreover, someone who was willing to listen to his Ancient Egyptian rambles and actually enjoy and learn from it.
When Steven said he needed to go, you honestly felt a bit sad. That sadness quickly turned into guilt. Were you really sad that your father was going to be back soon? You had a great time with Steven and you just hoped Marc would let you speak with him again.
When your father was fronting again you felt a bit more reserved as usual. It was just how you and him were, it had been your dynamic since forever. You often felt as though you lacked something with your dad, but after meeting Steven, you were sure that you and Marc didn't connect on the level that you would like to. 
Marc's usual demenour returned. He seemed a bit more awkward than usual as he looked back over to you with the neutral look in his eyes that he often had. But there was something different in his eyes this time. Almost like he was worried? Fearful? Hopeful? You couldn't quite identify it.
You smiled awkwardly and turned away from him a bit. Marc hesitated to speak at your reaction.
"So, um, that was Steven. I assume you liked him?" he said, voice quieter than usual. You nodded, smiling softly as he observed your behaviour.
"He was very nice" you reply, a warmth in your voice which Marc wasn't used to. It shocked him. You seemed to like Steven so much. You seemed to look at him and speak to him in a way which you never spoke to Marc. It made his heart ache a bit. You had only met Steven once, did you really like him more than you ever liked your own father? 
Marc gulped insecurely and turned away from you as well, feeling discouraged. You two couldn't even properly look at eachother, and all this behaviour was just being highlighted after yours and Stevens interaction. It made everything seem so much more obvious.
"Well I'm glad. He um, he seemed to like you too. You two get along very well..." he said, voice sounding forced and distantly pained. You silently nod before the both of you go off to your seperate places.
The more Steven fronted, the more you came to like him. He felt so different than your father, and you very much enjoyed his company. However, the more time you spent with Steven, the less time you spent with your own father.
Steven had noticed how easily Marc had been giving up control to him. Marc wasn't usually like that, especially not around you. Steven would usually have to persuade and convince Marc to let him front. But recently, Marc has shown no reluctance. In fact, Marc had been encouraging Steven to front around you. This worried Steven. Why was Marc so easily giving up time with you? Steven was of the understanding that Marc wanted to try connecting with you more, so why had he seemed to of given up on that?
You and Steven were hanging out like usual, it had become normal for you two to spend time together doing whatever. Today, you were playing uno with him, both having a wonderful time. 
"I've been here a while luv, I should probably go soon so you have some more time with Marc" Steven says, reshuffling the cards the after the previous game of uno. You look up, unsure if you should say what you were thinking.
"Um....what if you stayed a little longer?" you suggest, almost ashamed by your own words. Steven frowns softly.
"How come? Don't you want to spend some time with your father? He's been hoping you two could connect some more" Steven explains simply. You shrug awkwardly.
"Well I guess I do. But I also like spending time with you. You're just.....different to him. Not in a bad way though, its just.....I don't think he'll ever understand me" you admit quietly. Steven frowns more.
"He tries very hard to understand you, luv. We both do seem to be similar, but that doesn't mean that you and Marc can't connect, it just might take a bit more effort. People communicate and relate in different ways" he explains.
"Yeah....maybe...." you trail off, not really wanting to dwell on the topic more. You thought about Steven's words though. Maybe the two of you just had to try a bit harder.
"A little while longer, okay?" Steven proposes, you nod with a dissapointed sigh as you play your last game of the night before Marc returns.
What you didn't know, was that Marc was distantly listening from the headspace, and that your reaction to the knowledge that your father will soon return broke his heart just a little.
A short while later, Marc decided to ask you something important. Steven seemed to of been making you happier and more open lately, and that was all Marc ever wanted for you. He didn't want to continue making you feel reserved and awkward. If Steven was the key to your happiness, then Marc was willing to step back for your sake.
He always knew deep down that he just wasn't built to be a father. He tried his best to provide for you and to keep you happy, but it seemed he really was lacking. As much as he wanted to, apparently he just couldn't offer you the understanding and connection that you had wanted with your dad.
He had to accept that maybe Steven was better for you.
That's why he sat you down one day and asked you a question which could possibly break his heart.
"Y/n, sweetheart, would you prefer Steven as your father instead of me?" he asked, his voice sounding insecure, hesitant and worried. You looked up him with wide eyes, shocked that he would ask such a question. He looked back at you, desperate for an honest response so that he could ensure your happiness.
"What...?" you breath out in disbelief, unsure of how to answer. Marc looked to the side in shame.
"You and Steven, you seem to understand eachother in a way that I never could. So would you like him to take care of you from now on?" he reiterated softly. You still didn't reply. What kind of an offer was that? Were you just going to switch fathers like it was nothing? Why does it sound like Marc was just going to dissapear? You genuinly didn't know how to respond.
"It's completely fine if you prefer him, I don't mind, I can easily let Steven front more.....or all the time if you want...." he said, voice wavering slightly as he spoke. If you looked close enough, you might be able to notice his slightly teary eyes.
"He can be your dad and you can feel more understood and seen with him around. You can spend as much time as you want with him. How does that sound?" he proposes, before looking back to you, anxiously awaiting an answer. His eyes search yours, desperately trying to understand what was going through his childs mind.
"You don't want to be my dad anymore.....?" you ask insecurely, voice close to a whisper. Marc sighs to himself, what he feared would happen had happened. You two had so much trouble communicating. But this was important, and Marc didn't want you to take this the wrong way, so he was intent on ensuring you understood.
"It's not that. Of course I wan't to be your dad, y/n. But....I've seen how you act with Steven and I was just wondering if you preferred him over me? Would you rather him be your dad so that you can feel understood all the time?" he says, trying his best to keep his voice stable.
"I don't want you to go away....." you admit quietly, feeling a bit scared at what your father was implying. Could your dad just dissapear because of his DID? The thought scared you. Marc sighs in relief, at the very least, his child still wanted him.
"Steven is nice and it's fun to do things with him. But you're my dad..., I still need you" you say honestly.
"But I've tried so hard to make you feel seen and understood, and it hasn't worked. Steven can give that to you, sweetheart" he says sadly. You shuffle in your chair.
"Steven said people communicate and relate in different ways....what if we just haven't found a way that works for both of us?" you say maturely.
"If you want to continue trying then of course I'm willing to as well. I just want you to be happy" he responds. You nod to yourself, feeling determined. Not only were you sad because you always felt a disconnect from your father, but your sadness had increased tenfold after learning how your own father felt about it. He was usually a pretty neutral guy, rarely putting his thoughts and feelings on display. But now he admits that he is willing to step back from your life just so that you could be happy. You had no idea he would ever propose such a thing. It saddened you greatly. Which is why you now felt so determined to make things better. You were going to make a huge effort to mend the disconnect between you and your father, and you just hoped that it would pay off in the end, for the both of you.
From that moment forward, you and your dad created a plan to stick by. You were both committed to this plan, and although the both of you would have to comprimise on things, you were both extremely determined.
You decided to start slow, an activity twice a week for a little while. Both of you suggested things. A walk in the park, going to see a new movie, trying out a new cafe down the street, going to a market. It was fun, awkward at times, but you both ended up enjoying it in your own way.
Next you started cooking dinner together, making the chore fun and fulfiling. You chose some recipe you found online and you'd both try your best to cook it, even though neither you or your father were the best cooks. You ended up learning a lot of skills in the kitchen, and luckily Marc had a lot to teach you.
You two would eat dinner together, sometimes just talking about your days at the table, Marc inquiring about school and you being curious about his job. Other times you'd choose a favourite movie to watch over your meal, alternating between yours and Marcs favourite films.
The more you two shared about eachother, the more you connected. You found that there were similar interests between you two that you could talk about, you just had to try a bit harder to find them. But it was worth it when you could finally have a conversation with your father about something that both of you are truely passionate about.
Over time, things became easier and more natural. You both still had to put in an effort to communicate and be mindful of each others ways of processing and understanding things, but it was much more enjoyable now. It felt like both of your combined efforts were going somewhere positive, and that things were changing for the better.
You and Steven still hang out and had just as much fun as before, but you no longer felt guilty about it, because you knew things were good with your father as well. Same with Marc, he didn't have to worry about you choosing Steven over him as a gaurdian anymore. He felt secure enough that he was fulfilling his role as a parent and that you were truely happy.
You no longer felt misread and unseen, but rather understood and appreciated. You both valued the effort the other had put in to understanding eachother. And even though it took a long time to get there, you and your father were happy about the place that you were in now.
~~~
A/N: Does anyone read the authors notes? Haha. Anyway, thank you to the person who requested this! This was one of my first requests and I'm so sorry it took forever to write! I had it in my drafts for a while. I don't usually write angst between the characters, usually the angst comes from an outside thing, so this was a bit challenging. If the person who requested this is still checking my blog, then thank you very much, I hope this lived up to what you hoped for :) Any feedback is welcome and very much appreciated! If anyone reads these notes, would you like more dialogue in these stories? I enjoy reading dialogue a lot, but I sometimes find it challenging to write. I'd love to know! I've also noticed that many requests want a gender neutral reader, but I continue writing x daughter because I'm not sure what else to use? Is there a gender neutral term for a child? Child is the only alternative I can think of, but that seems to imply that the reader is extremely young if I write x child reader. Of course I make sure to write the character gender neutral but I write x daughter in the pairing. Does anyone have an alternative?
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graciegoeskrazy · 9 months
Text
Sharper (rewrite) - Chapter 1 - i feel the earth move
Warnings: Language, mention of rape, mentions of kidnaping, mentions of sexual assault, Mentions of CPS, social workers, bars, New York City (lol), mentions of sex workers, mentions of drugs and drinking
Word Count: ~3,000
A/N: READ THE WARNINGS. Its me hi I’m the fucking writer thats always missing its me. Okay we have a series yay! I know this seems really fucking crazy but I’ve had this idea for a really long time and I’m really excited for y’all to read. So far i have the first chapter (duh) and last chapter done along with some bits in between and I’m really excited for y’all too read. Okay thats all ill say now okay i love u byeeeee
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The streets of New York City were never friendly. Especially to 16 year olds like you. Rain poured and mixed into the dirty snow that had fallen earlier that day, creating a rotten and thick atmosphere surrounding the city. You thought about other families on Christmas Eve. Kids getting ready for bed, awaiting the arrival of Santa and the presents he’ll bring. Families walking home from church, admiring the lights that covered the city. You should be experiencing things like that - joy, cheer, happiness. However, it all seemed to be the exact opposite.
After your mom died you were immediately thrown at CPS who sent you straight into foster care. You had no family except your mom. Your grandparents might have been alive but you had no fucking clue because they turned their backs on your mom and you the second they found out she was pregnant. With no support and no money, your broke single money turned to being a sex worker. And even though there were friends she made along the way at work and they treated you like you were their niece, all of them knew that living with them in the midst of their line of work was no place for a kid. They cared too much to let you be around that, and you understood. So, foster care it was.
Your foster parents honestly didn’t give a shit, so you offered a deal to them - give you a share of the money they get monthly from the state, and you will be out of their hair and will never ask for anything from them. Not surprisingly at all, they said yes. When your social worker found out, she didn’t care, she just wanted a cut of your money. For awhile, you would stay in and out of shelters throughout the city, eventually leaving after a little while to avoid the risk of anyone getting suspicious and calling CPS. When that didn’t work, you would bounce between the couches of your friends, slowly but surely giving up hope of ever finding a permanent home. Even with your cut from your foster parents and money at your shitty job at Starbucks your social worker set you up with, it still definitely wasn’t enough to pay rent of anything. But it was enough to pay for your own food, your own clothes, and a ticket from point a to point b. So that was how you lived. For 10 whole months. And that’s what its looked like for the past week. Couch hopping, working, still going to fucking school, and all the while not having a single moment to grieve the loss of your mom.
You were on the way to a bar to have your annual meeting with your social worker. You had an informal meeting with your social worker at least every other week. Even though they were brief, they were still a constant pain in your ass. You wanted life to keep moving. Move away from the pain and heartache of your mom’s death, and all the other pain and suffering that came along with it, but these meetings always seemed to drag you back under. It always felt like a constant reminder of what you went through and how you got here.
You immediately spotted her. You sat down across from her at a table. She continued writing down whatever it was she was doing as you walked in. She acknowledged your presence, but never looked up once.
“You’re late.” She said.
“Yeah. I know. I couldn’t get a cab. It’s fucking Christmas Eve.” You said as you sat.
She finally met your gaze, “What have I said about cursing?”
You just shrugged, “Last time I checked I don’t get in trouble for language.”
Jenny sighed again, “It’s still not classy.”
“Meeting at a bar at nearly midnight with your 16 year old client isn’t classy either.”
“It's a restaurant too.” She said, matter of factly.
You rolled your eyes and Jenny let out a smirk, knowing she had gotten under your skin already. She straightened up at an attempt to reset. “How’s life been treating you Mazie?”
“Pretty Shitily.”
Jenny continued to write in her files. “I can imagine. Where were you tonight?”
You took a seat, “Out with a friend from work. Caroline.”
“A friend from work at Starbucks?”
You looked anywhere but her, already tired of her fake niceties “Yeah.”
“How’s the Job you like it?”
You signed. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Working hard? Putting in the hours?”
“Yeah.”
Jenny finally looked up. “Hmm. That’s really interesting because I checked in on the Starbucks you’re working at and they said you got fired 2 weeks ago.”
You were caught.
For a moment you thought about keeping up with the lie. But you very quickly came to the conclusion that it would only make things worse. “Okay listen, I can explain.”
“Strike one.” She said, as she went back to write in her files, probable making note of your job status.
“Listen to me, My boss, Samuel...he was being a real perv-“
“To you or others?”
You paused and shrugged, eyes never leaving her. “What do you think?”
Jenny looked down. She wouldn’t wish what you had been through on anybody, But she wasn’t gonna let you off the hook. Job or no job, someone would find out sooner or later and it would end up getting herself in trouble
“it’s apart of your agreement.”
“You taking a cut from my foster parents isn't a part of the agreement?!”
“Quiet down, will you? Look, I'm trying to help you. I know it’s been rough since you lost your Mom, and all i’m trying to do is help you maintain a life. A life your mom would’ve wanted.”
“My mom wouldn’t want me in a fucking foster system or working shifts at starbucks for less than minimum wage.”
“Look, I don’t really give a shit. I’m just trying to do my job.”
“That’s a first-”
“Cut it out.” She said Sharply. “Can we carry on with the questions?”
You nodded.
Jenny continued, “Last time you did drugs?”
You rolled your eyes, “I’ve told you, since I went into the system.”
“So a couple months, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“So let me ask you this. If I get a drug test from my car, it’s gonna come back negative, right? Because you haven’t done anything tonight?”
“Yeah.” You said hesitantly.
“Are you sure about that? Because im gonna be really fucking pissed if I have to go all the way to my car and back to get a drug test just to prove that you’ve been lying to me.”
You knew that she knew. There was no getting out of it. “Ok so I may have done a little tonight. But it wasn’t a lot! It was barely any!”
“Strike 2.”
“C’mon man!”
“Do you want me to bring you in right now? Is that what you want? Cause I’d be happy to hand you over to another couple who don’t give a single shit about you.”
“You’re a fucking monster.”
“No. I’m just doing my job.”
“And you’re pretty fucking bad at it.” A new voice spoke. Your eyes caught sight of a man with dark hair and a long black trench coat. You looked slightly familiar, but Jenny continued to speak before you had the chance to fully question his familiarity.
“Excuse me?” She said,
“I’m just saying, If there’s a reason she’s acting like this then maybe you’re doing something wrong.”
Confusion made itself apparent on your face as you looked at the two as the continued to speak.
“Sir, can I help you?”
“Yeah.” He said with a smile before it morphed into a blank stare. “No.” he said.
He must be drunk as hell.
He cleared his throat before continuing. “Look, let me pay you to walk away.
Jenny’s unimpressed expression never changed as she spoke. “You must be drunk.”
The man laughed. “Yeah, maybe.”
Knew it.
——-
Jenny and the man continued to talk quietly, coming up with some sort of price. You were absolutely speechless. Maybe I can make a run for it now? That would definitely lead to trouble once Jenny inevitably found you again. What about when she leaves? When it’s just me and that dude? That could work. Throughout all the questions filling up your brain, the most frequent one was equally simple and terrifying… What the hell did he want with me?
Before you could fully think about that one, Jenny came back, seemingly packing up her files and folders Not saying a word to you. So, you spoke up.
“You really gonna let him do this?!”
She rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine. He’ll probably let you walk away, your record will stay spotless, and I won't have to deal with your bullshit-”
“Are you fucking insane?! Look at him he’s probably gonna assault me or rape me or something sketchy as hell.!”
“Not my problem.”
“Yes, it’s your problem. That's your fucking job!”
She turned to give you one last cold glare. “Well…nothing you haven't dealt with before.”
You were speechless. All you wanted to do was punch her across the face until she was out cold, but nothing would come out.
She made her way out the door but turned out to give you one last glare. “Happy Holidays motherfucker.” she said.
You were slouched in your seat, arms crossed, eyes looking down in disbelief. From the second you got a good look at his guy, you knew he was bad news. You had yet to learn what would happen or where you would end up next. You snapped out of your thoughts when a certain voice appeared.
“Hi.” He said, sounding almost chipper.
You didn’t respond, just stared at him, arms still crossed. He took another sip of his drink before continuing. “What’s your name?”
“...Mazie.” You said hesitantly.
He sucked in a breath. You weren't sure what that meant, but you had no time to think about it before he continued talking.
“How old are you Mazie?”
You hesitated. What kind of creepy ass shit was he into?
“16.” You said sharply. You couldn’t let down your guard for one second. You were tough and not to be messed with, and this guy needed to know that.
You noticed how he hesitated again. He took one last sip of his drink before standing up off the stool and making his way towards you,but still giving you some space.
“Wanna go for a ride?”
“Not really, no.” You quickly said.
He hummed. “May I?” he said, gesturing to the seat across from you in the booth you were still sitting in.
“It's a free country isn't it?” You said. He took that as a yes.
“I’m Max.” He reached out his hand as an offering. You pondered for a moment, then shook his hand.
“What do you want with me, Max?”
He let out a slight dry chuckle. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Mazie. If that's what your thinking”
“Soooo…you just gonna let me go? Pay a random woman 7.000 cash to let a random 16-year-old free out of what…the goodness of your heart?”
“I need your help.”
“With what?”
“Come with me.”
He led you outside. Waiting for you both was a sleek, black, sports car you presumed was Max’s. He opened the door for you and gestured for you to get in.
“Fuck no.” You spat.
“I told you I’m not gonna hurt you-”
“And why should I believe you?”
He was about to open his mouth but stopped himself.
“You can’t really I guess.”
That caught you off guard. For some reason it made you trust him a tiny bit more. For whatever reason, you were definitely interested in whatever skeam he had planned.
He reached into the car and pulled out a wad of cash. “Here,” he said, throwing it to you.
You caught it and took a look. $1,000 dollars cash was sitting in the palm of your hand. You tried to remain natural and chill. “What’s this for?” you asked.
“That’s your cut.”
“You shouldn’t be drinking and driving.”
“And you shouldn’t be alone on the streets of New York.”
“I shouldn’t be talking to strangers ethier. Let alone getting in the car with them.”
“Let’s not be strangers then, huh?”
The car ride was quiet. He put on some sort of Christmas music on low volume as he drove. The city was alive and bright. People and families crowding the streets, once again making you think of your family and what you used to have. Those thoughts came to a halt as he pulled into a large parking garage next to what you assumed to be Max’s apartment building. A doorman created the two of you as he led you to the elevator. The both of you still hadn’t said a word since the bar.
He opened the door and motioned for you to go inside.
“You think I'm dumb or something? I’m not going in there.”
He rolled his eyes before looking at you. “This entire apartment complex is filled head to toe with multiple alarm systems, 4 Security guards only a couple floors down, one of which you met and knows your face, and constantly servailed cameras in every corner.”
You just stared at him, trying to think of something to say. He beat you to it.
“And if you wanted to leave, I would let you leave.”
You nodded, and walked in.
His apartment was smaller than you expected, but you were mainly surprised about how clean it was.
“Cool Place.” You said.
He took his jacket off and put his keys down.
“You can sleep on the couch, or leave if you want. No drugs. No coming into my room.”
He slammed the door, not giving you another look. “Coolio.”
This is gonna be interesting.
——-
The clanging of pots and pans startled you. You turned to see max preparing some kind of breakfast.
“Morning.” He said.
You didn’t reply, just stood still. Taking in and remembering all of the events that took place the night before. He continued.
“What’s your favorite movie?”
Out of everything he could’ve said, you didn’t expect those word to come out of her mouth. “What’s my favorite movie?”
He nodded.
“Interstellar.” You said without taking your eyes off him, trying to keep up the tough exterior.
“Really? Why?”
“I like space and I have daddy issues.” You said bluntly. He made a mental note to check in on that later. He continued, “I think it's a classic.”
“You like that one?” You said surprised as you took a sip of the coffee he gave you.
“Yeah. It's always been a favorite of mine.”
“Damn, I can’t believe you’ve actually seen that film.”
“I haven’t.” He said, giving you a glare.
“What?”
“I lied.”
“Why?”
“To trick you.”
“Okay?” You were thoroughly confused.
Max got up. “That’s what I’m gonna teach you to do.”
You sat in silence as he grabbed a stack of newspapers and but the on the coffee table in front of you. “Read those. Front to back.”
You scoffed and picked up the papers. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Where’s that money I gave you?”
“In my jacket.”
He grabbed it and turned to you. From now on, every time you curse I get 100 back.”
“Fuck that, that’s my money!”
He pulled it away before you could grab it back from him.
“Another 100 gone. 800 left.” He put the remaining money back on the table and you immediately put it into your pants pocket.
“Where are you going?” You said.
“Out. I’ll be back later. Read those or leave.”
He slammed the door.
You just stood there.
How did the fuck did I get here?
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27 notes · View notes
zeltqz · 6 months
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niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀
i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool
YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3
tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post
tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha
tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)
tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.
i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book
dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.
for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.
getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?
hope that makes sense!!
tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.
rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.
thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.
also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.
tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.
there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.
if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.
tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.
tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.
just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.
i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.
i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.
if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))
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aropride · 9 months
Text
i am losing it the tiniest bit .
googling like "my mother treats me like a child" or wgatever just brings up like ppl talking abt their mothers not wanting them to grow up or not giving them enough freedom which is a valid problem and one i have but it is a completely different problem from the one im looking for information on which is that i am a 20 year old man and my mother babytalks at me like a four year old on a regular basis. its drivng me fucking crazy but i dont want to argue and she wouldnt listen anyway she'd probably just be like "i dont do that" which .okay. but like holy fucking shit it is SO annoying and demeaning and WEIRD.
and like i can handle it when she treats me like. a teenager. like whatever im 20 close enough i dont care. but when she treats me like im 10. or 7. or fucking 4. its like. what the fuck is your problem.
and like okay i was thinking abt this the other day bc i was talking 2 my dad like just hanging out and he was treating me like a Person and like. idk i feel like when he had kids he was Expecting and Excited for us to turn into little people with our own thoughts and free will (maybe not the transgender communist thing i think that was a bit far but he's always been supportive in terms of like. me being my own person otherwise).
and my dad volunteers at church with some of the kids like 9-12 age range, and a lot of them have rough home lives and 'act out' cuz of that and he's very patient with them and helps them with what theyre going thru and generally just acts like theyre little people. because they ARE little people. like he genuienly cares for those kids and is always like... taking them to the park and stuff but also like, being character witness for their parents' custody battles n shit like actually helping and suppotying them.
whereas my mother volunteers at church with babies and toddlers and its almost like she sees them as pets. and will complain abt them being annoying or MEAN if they cry or dont want to play with her. like she's nice to them but she will complain abt it as if theyre trying to spite her
and i feel like she didnt become a parent bc she wanted to raise a small human i feel like she just wanted a pet. and shes been better with my sister but when i was a kid the second i was like 6 and developed some free will she kinda like. Moved on from me LOL. and stopped caring abt me outside of like. buying food. wire mother type shit. idk it's just really obvious that my dad cares abt these kids as people but my mother cares abt them for only as long as they dont upset her or do something she doesnt want them to. if that makes sense
and idk its like. i am 20 years old. im not going to go back to a 4 year old with no sense of the world outside of u because I AM TWENTY YEARS OLD. I HAVE LIVED ALONE IN SCHOOL I HAVE GONE TO THE DMV I HAVE WORKED A JOB I HAVE DEALT WITH MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ON MY OWN . i have had to make my way through every single social problem and mental health problem and shit since i was SIX bc thats when she stopped giving a shit about me. im not a child anymore
but i think its also part of why im so fucking bad at Being An Adult. bc she never taught me how do to any of this shit bc she was busy pretending im still a little kid. and now im too anxious to figure out how to do things on my own and i dont know how to ask for help and everything is very overwhelming and she tells me she wants me to get a job but doesnt help and she acts like she wants me to leave but she doesnt tell me that or help me leave and i am SO FUCKING SICK of living at home but i dont have the money or the skills to get out
and she's NEVER helped me with adult stuff either . the only thing i can think of is when she took me to the bank bc i needed her signature to take her off my bank account . otherwise my dad has been the one to help me with college applications + college stuff in general + finances + jobs etc etc . whereas my mother ACTIVELY LIES TO ME ABOUT THOSE THINGS TO TRY TO STOP ME FROM GETTING MY OWN DEBIT CARD !!!!!!!!!!
and it's this fucking exhausting mix of signals where she's like "u need to get a job u need to learn to drive u need to do this and that" but also she Literally , not exageratting , treats and talks to me like i am a child . i am so fucking sick of it it's unreal . i am going to lose my fucking mind .
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cosmicdream222 · 14 days
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im literally kicking myself in the foot for not doing something more worthwhile with my existance... i never knew of manifesting until recent years and while society likes to say its never too late sometimes it feels like that is it too late cause to learn any skill you have to have already learnt the techniques then have good practice abilities on top of it, like you cant just waltz into a sport for instance and take a gold medal you have to do it step by step but to do that again im fucking regretting so much rn cant i just bash my head into a wall and slowly die? or music for instance cant just pick an instrument and be good at it right off the bat again shouldve just fucking picked something and stuck with it
also i never had the likes of tiktok or anything internet for entertainment when i was a kid so in a way it shouldve been perfect chance to really do smth but as always situations got in the way and im regretting existing a lot rn. like why so many ppl so good at their niches or whatever it is they choose to do and theres so much more available now than there was back then but i cant seem to pick a single damned thing that i could realistically do at my age and still feel accomplished bc id just end up feeling behind or regretting not doing it sooner
sorry for ranting abt myself there just if only there was time machine or a literal realistic way of shifting to another damned reality cause this aint it like why im wasting so much of it doing fck all? it should be shameful honestly but like at the same time its kind of impossible with current economy being so crappy
for instance if u want to own a business (which i would do if i could even afford one with my own money but then u got to ha e the job and the know how on running it) seriously my ancestors had so many more things that were successful in their lives and some did have businesses bc shops were affordable back then, education used to be affordable too and housing etc etc. id be more inclinced to then have a family of my own if that were the case but it is not soooooooooooooo then its like even if you want a bog standard job it can still take months just to get something basic. i once did manage to manifest a free bus ride and my teacher not coming to college for a few days but thats abt it. other than that lifes kinda average sadly its not the 1950s and elvis is still dead asf.............. not fair
the other thing that puzzles me and sorry for making this so long but if we are supposed to have had past lives a) why havent we known about it before now and b) how come some celebs dont reincarnate or do the celebs that pass away just get a free pass to heaven and decide to stay put? (in which case i wont blame them but its also not fair that i have to still exist... or fail to exist i should say)
My dude, I understand where you’re coming from and I have been where you are. But you say you wish there was a way to travel back in time or shift realities - there IS a way to shift realities, travel back in time, and live whatever kind of life you want. Seriously. That is the whole reason I created this blog!! So please read through all the information I’ve collected instead of just complaining ok? 😭
All of that stuff you mentioned about your current reality is an illusion. Time is an illusion. It does not matter what you’ve done in the past. The economy does not matter. Your present circumstances do not matter. Past lives only exist if you believe they do.
Look around tumblr at void, loa and shifting success stories. I have shared many of my favorites. People in very difficult circumstances have regularly completely change their lives overnight, wake up in new houses, shift to alternate realities, change their genders, change their ages, bring people back from the dead, to say the very least.
None of it matters because we live in the literal matrix - a VR simulation - and you can have anything you want NOW.
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harry1simp · 8 months
Text
So I ve been obssesed over Harry june from dkb recently so lets write smth lol.
lot of teasing from the other members lol.
Pairing : harry june x f barist.reader.
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So a group of boys went to my bar 1 week ago and since then they dont stop coming over. When I greet them to take their order they always seem to hide something like they look so nasty lol.
So today as any other day, I put myself in my uniform which is pink AND really tight so people better know me when they start getting annoying Im starting too since IM uncomfortable.
It was the morning and actually just a few people came to drink a juice or smth. So I ate my lunch with my boss and some colleagues and we talked about nothing and everything.
- So whats up with that group of grown up men? Taylor asked, one of my colleague.
- What do you mean " THAT group of grown up men"?- I replied in a mocking tone.
- Co mon you know who I am talking about. Especially this boy who looks a bit younger than the others. He seems so shy when youre around thats so cute !
I choked with my noodles.what the fuck ?
- Are you talking about THEM ? - I asked shocked.
- Of course them. Dont you find them hot ? - my other friend Ben started
- They're litteraly 9 wth ?!
- Lmfao y/n I know you do not have 9 holes im just saying you prob find ONE of them hot or idk.. - Ben said while laughing like he was dying.
- You scared me I swear. Hm well.. yeah that young boy is cute not gonna lie but im not gonna try anything.
Taylor scoffed and whispered a " whatever" followed by Ben saying " you better get at least one of them" before returning back to work leaving me alone.
It was 4:00 pm and thats the moment people finish work so we all know we gonna be really busy. When i say "people " I also include them. Sometimes theyre all together sometimes theyre not.
- Look who came y/n. - Ben said teasingly.
I looked to the main entrance and saw them. They were 5. The cute boy, another one who was doing some body rolls while walking, a tall boy with yellow hair, one with a cap on his head and the last one all in black looking like he wanted to kill someone. I gave my attention back to work since I started to stare a lil too much.
- Dont try to run away y/n . - Ben said.
- Yeah go take their order btw. - taylor ordered
- What n- I didnt finish my sentence they both pushed me to the hall where people were sat.
I took a deep breath and took a piece of paper with a pen while making my way to them.
- Hi guys ! - I said naturally like I didnt know my friends were watching me in the kitchen smiling like psychopaths.
- Hey y/n. How are you doing ? - The guy with the cap asked happily.
- Im good ahah thanks what about you ? - I asked trying not to seem awkward af.
- We're good. Happy to see you again. I would like a milkshake please !
- Okay noted - I informed taking notes.
- For me it will be a wisky please. - The serial killer said without even looking at me.
- What about you guys ? - I asked mentioning the others.
- Can I have an iced tea ? - The yellow haired guy demanded nicely.
- Sure !
- By the way y/n my son here has something to ask you. - The first guy spoke pointing the cute boy with his finger.
- Oh.. - I said suprised .
The guy smiled placing his head in his hands feeling shy and aparently not aware about the guy opening for him.
- Could I have your number or your instagram ? - he asked looking so adorable I could only accept.
- Yeah sure ! - I took my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him showing my number.
- What is your name ? - I couldnt hide my happiness I was smiling like an idiot.
- Harry June - He replied with a big smile on his face.
- Nice harry june, what would you like ?
- A lemonade please.
- and for me it will be a coca. - the guy who was hip trusting the air earlier said.
- Okay guys thanks.
And I walked away like I hadn't a bunch of others clients waiting behind me.
I went back to the kitchen with my notes plus my heart beating like I just talked to a celebrity.
- Tell us. - Ben said his arms crossed against the wall.
- Tell you what ?
- You litteraly handed him your phone I dont think he asked for Ben's feet pictures ! - Taylor said dead serious.
- Hows that you have my feet in photos ? - Ben asked concerned.
- Calm down I didnt show him your fucking feet but my number !!
They both went silent for a second.
- He asked for your number ?? - They said in synch.
- Yes he did can you guys stop screaming for christ's sake ??
- Which one ? The cutie boy ???
- Yes Harry June.
- His name is Harry June ? - Ben said while gasping in a gay way.
- I swear to god shut it down or I punch you.
- No way youre on your period-
- Ben !!! - Taylor and I shouted to him.
- Poor boy he must have been so scared asking you your number Im dying.
I stared at Ben feeling annoyed and just gave them the orders making my way to the others clients.
When I was taking some orders I could sense his stare on me, Im not complaining tho but I just couldnt focus.
/ H-J 's pov /
- Im so proud of you my baby ! - Dongil said while hugging me like I was a child.
- Urgh dont do that in public please ! - I said feeling embarrassed.
- My dear you better get into pda when she will be yours or she wont do anything with you. - Heechan affirmed with no guidance.
- Are you being serious right now ? Stop talking about this its weird. - I begged fearing that she could hear us.
- Lets leave him alone poor boy. - Changmin suggested.
I sighed and looked away to meet y/n in front of me with our drinks.
- Heres yours Harry June - She said nicely while giving me my lemonade.
- thank you - I replied with a small smile in the corner of my lips.
- Your coca.
She gave us our drinks and was about to leave but of course my stupid friend had to open his fucking mouth to speak.
- Y/n are you free after work ? Harry would love to get to know you.
I want to slap him.
- Oh Im done in 2 hours wont it be long for you to wait ? - she asked looking at me concerned.
- I- No no problem i will wait for you outside - I offered her my smile.
- So kind from you Harry, enjoy your drinks guys. - She said before leaving.
- Youre dea-
- Youre welcome - Heechan cut me off.
- Im not a kid I could have asked her out and not have you doing it for me. - I said angrily.
- you have a date so stop being a dick and give me a hug.
- Never. - I replied crossing my arms feeling betrayed.
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/ Your pov /
I was so excited to see the cutie boy that I litteraly mistaken some orders which made my boss furious but its okay my friends protected me. Thats when I realize they can actually be usefull lol.
So when all the clients were gone I put myself into more comfortable clothes.
- Enjoy pretty. - Taylor said winking at me before grabbing her bag ready to leave too.
- I.. I will taylor go home safe. - I said in a sigh not really knowing what to say.
Ben was allready gone for a moment. Well lets go I told myself.
I took my bag and closed the bar behind me.
- Oh you're here. - A male voice said coming from my back.
I turned around facing Harry June.
- Yeah ahah, Im here. - I put the bar's keys in my pocket and returned my attention to him - You know you didnt have to wait for me I know your friend said that but really we can do that another day if y-
- No no dont say thay its completly fine ! - He cut me out while using his hands. - My friend can be a little invasive but he was right and I dont have anything to do so..
I nodded feeling relieved that the boy didnt feel obliged to wait for a girl he didnt even know.
- Thank you very much. My clients actually left sooner than usual so Im all yours ahah. - I said with a laugh.
He laughed too and not gonna lie he has the prettiest smile and laugh ever. He was wearing a large tee shirt with some grey jogging. He seemed to be comfortable in it, that made me want to snuggle myself into it.
- So.. what do you wanna talk about ?
I stopped to space out for a second and looked at him like a normal girl.
- Tell me more about you. I actually see you coming to my bar with your friends every week but I just got your name today ahah.
- Yeah we really enjoy coming to your bar. Its cozy and we have a good time when were there.
- Ooh I'm glad to know this ! You know when me and my friends see you laughing out loud with your group we actually wanna know what you are talking about.
He laughed. I.MADE.HIM.LAUGH
- Oh my god I hope we dont do that much noise.
We walked side by side without really knowing where we were going but I felt actually good. For a guy that seemed shy at first sight hes actualy really easy going with me.
- So where are you from Harry ?
- Im Korean. Both my parents are korean too. Youre a foreigner right ?
- Yes I am. Korean is such a struggle for me urgh. Your english is amazing harry by the way !
- Oh thanks Im studying this really hard since a lot of foreign people come in Korea.
I nodded actually amazed by his talent.
- Youre not that bad either ya'know your Korean is actually pretty good.
I smiled hapily like a little girl but mostly cauz I actually received a compliment from him.
- Oh thanks Youre the first one saying me this ahah.
- Dont underestimate yourself like that. And maybe I could help you out with your Korean I mean if youre okay with it.
- Yes sure that will be so nice !
A few hours went like that and when I noticed the time on my phone I actually gasped.
- Oh my its 8: pm I need to go harry Im so sorry to leave you like that I didnt expect us to talk that long !
- yeah youre right I actually have to go too its okay.
- I really had a good time knowing you Harry
- Me too y/n come home safely
- You too harry bye.
He waved at me and thats how we left each other.
That night I couldnt sleep. I told Taylor and Ben everything about harry june, about how he was so sweet and kind with me, how interesting he seemed to be and they look to like him back.
I was dreaming eyes open when I received a text from Harry.
00:25 am : Youre sleeping ?
I laughed feeling amused by his question.
00:27 am : No I can't :(( Seems like you either ?
00:28 am : Yea :// A friend of mine is sleeping next to me and hes growling like a pig help *_* And what about you ?
00:29 am : Lmaooo Can't really help you sorry 😭 Same for me.. Well Im alone tho but cant close an eye.
00:30 am : Is it cauz you cant wait to meet me again ? 🤭
I actually didn't know what to answer and I didn't plan to give him a reply maybe tomorow.. but his answer interested me even more I just couldnt sleep without making a move from my side.
00:33 am : Mhhh.. Maybe ? 🤷‍♀️
00:36 am : XD anyways now Im not in front of you plus not my friends being dicks I have to admit youre really pretty :)) idk if I seemed shy lol but its just Im not used to y'know approach girls like that so..
I wanted to scream. He said Im pretty. The cutie boy harry june said I was pretty. I was jumping in my bed like a groopie but he texted a few seconds after again.
00:38 am : Ive never been into a relationship, so before running lets walk first y'know 👉
00:39 am : YES YES 50TH SHADE DEGRES REFERENCE 🙌 WAIT how old are you harry ? Arent you too young for this ?
00:40 am : Im 21 yo. C mon I just got lost on netflix.. 🤫
00:41 am : Yeah yeah.. 🤨 anyways thanks youre very cute too and handsome lol.
I embarrassed myself for saying this and actually have no shame so I put my phone on my nightstand and tried to sleep but with no results.
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I had my day off today and man Im gonna enjoy it. Thats when I took my phone that realisation hit me. I got 2 messages from him.. Men Im scared. I opened them with shaking hands.
00:42 am : Oh thank you thats the 1st time a girl finds me cute and handsome 😊
00:45 am : I really appreciated this evening with you y/n. I hope we could meet again real soon ?
1:00 am : Good night I guess 🌃🌙
My heart was melting inside my breast. Hes so sweet. Hes like a teddy bear you wanna hug when youre not feeling safe. I didnt waste one second and answered him immediatly.
10:00 am : Oh my ! Sorry June I felt asleep so abruptly ! I really did too and I would looovveee to see you again as well ;))
I felt so stupid leaving him with no response til 1 am. But I couldnt hide the smile appearing on my face.
I took my breakfast in front of a serie I loved and was just chilling in my sofa and then i received a notification.
10:13 am : Its okay y/n ! At least you fell asleep ahah. I look like a zombie 😫 What about tonight ? I would like to show you a place I love.
Tonight ? Well I have nothing to do but idk it seems off..
10:15 am : Why not :)) What time ?
10:16 am : Hm lets say 9 pm ? We could grab an ice cream just next to it !
Ice cream okay im coming.
10:17 am : Okay perfect !
He gave me a place to find him and then I did the dishes.
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The moment arrived I put myself in a floral dress I bought a while ago and finally found the occasion to wear it. I came to the previous place and foud him sat on a bench looking hella good.
- Hi ! - I greeted him.
- Oh y/n h- he paused for a moment looking at me. - Wow youre beautiful. - He said touching his neck.
- Oh thank you Harry youre amazing too !
We didnt know how to greet ourselves at first it was awkward lol. But he took a step forward me and opened his arms. I did the same and we ended up in each other's arms. I wanted to cry. It was just like him ; sweet and warm.
- I missed you. - He whispered next to my ear. We separated from each other and it felt empty.
- I missed you too harry. So.. show me that famous place you wanna take me to !
- Ah yes let's go ! - He said in a cute way I wanted to eat him.
We walked for around 20 hours while talking and I could feel his hand touching mine's at some moments.
Then we arrived at a quiet and peacefull place .
- Here we are.
- Wow it looks great I've never been here before !
The landscape was just magic. There was a small lake in front of us and some benches to admire it.
- Let's have a seat.
- Sure. - I continued.
We sat next to each other and just like that we stared at the lake without a sound.
- Can I ask you a question ? - Harry broke the silence turning his head facing me.
- Of course Harry.
- Are you single ? - It was so out of nowhere.
- A-Yes I am. What about you ?
- I am too.
- Well.. great I mean-
- I like you Y/N - He said in one breath.
- I- I like you too Harry
- I mean no.. I love you. I know we don't know each other that much but I don't know I.. didnt stop thinking about since we spoke to each other and.. every time I come to your bar my eyes are always on you..
- Woah harry I.. I lost my words.. I honestly feel the same way..
- Really ?
- Yeah.. You know.. let's give each other times to you know.. be sure about our feelings and.. then we could enjoy it completly ?
Harry nodded.
- Yeah let's do that.
We both smiled feeling relieved like we couldn't hold those secrets in anymore.
- Can I.. kiss you ?
I looked at him smiling. Yes ofc I wanted. HARRY FUCK KISS ME
- Yes please.
He laughed and didn't waste a second to catch my lips in a short and sweet kiss. We pulled from each other.
- Thanks. - He said like I gave him a gift.
- What are you thankful for ? - I asked feeling so soft for him.
- I just kissed a pretty girl and she loves me too.
- Harry youre so cute I swear come here .
I hugged him tightly and he did the same.
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Some weeks passed and Harry and I hung out a lot. We went to different dates. He took me to the pool with some of his friends. I met Teo who's such a sweetheart, Yuku a Sunshine he's ma fav, Junseo who first gave me killer vibes ended up being the complete opposite, he's a big teddy bear but he still scares me since he's like 500 times bigger than me. Then there's Heechan who is really funny but Jesus's christ he's so perverted. Like we can talk about food and heechan is in the back talking about pussy.
Anyways theyre all very kind with me. They keep reminding harry that he's lucky to have me lol. When we're all together, Dongil, aka Harry June's father, says " Protect yourself my son I dont wanna take care of another child " so we both end up cringing from embarrassment.
We're currently at Harry's place with some of his friends ; Seongmin, Dongil and Changmin. I was on Harry's laps, his hands around my waist and we were just chilling on his sofa while talking.
- Im sleepy guys Imma go to bed. - Dongil said while whining.
- Good night. - Harry and I said in synch.
Dongil left the salon. Seongmin was sleeping on the floor and Changmin was still sober next to us.
- You look so cute together- Changmin said letting out a small laugh.
- I know - Harry said in a provocative tone.
- Why won't you stay tonight y/n ? - Changmin asked looking at me.
- Oh I didnt plain to tho and I dont wanna bother you.
- Harry will give you his bed. Right harry ?
- Yes sure. You wont bother anyone babe.
- Youre sure ? - I asked concerned.
- Of course y/n ! Stay with me tonight. Please.. - He almost begged me.
- Well, kids do whatever you want just dont be loud in the bedrooms please. - Changmin stood up and whined before going into the same room's Dongil went in earlier, leaving Harry and I alone.
- So you stay..? - He demanded poutting with his lips.
- Where are you gonna sleep harry ?
- On the sofa Im okay its pretty cozy he-
- Cant you sleep in your bed, with me..? - I put my hand on his not wanting to be alone in his dark room.
- Oh is it okay with you ? I dont wanna make you uncomf- I took his head in my hands and locked our lips in an eager kiss. I moved mines in a slow pace and I felt a wet texture. His tongue asked access for my mouth which I accepted.
- Lets go to my rooom. - He interrupted us, standing up from the couch locking his hands with mine. We made our way to his room trying our best to stay silent.
I made myself comfortable on his bed.
- Oh you might want some clothes for the night, dont you ? - Harry asked looking out for some pants and tee-shirts in his closet.
- Well I wont mind Harry.
- Have this then. - He handed me his clothes and he just stared at me for what felt like an eternity.
- Are you just gonna watch me stripping out of my clothes ?
- Oh my god yes sure sorry my bad ! - He excuses himself and turned around, his back facing me. Feeling suddenly in a teasing mood I threw my shirt on him after had removing it from me.
- Uh y/n ? - He said in a suprised tone. He could hear me laughing behind him and then I placed my hands on his shoulders.
- y/n ? - He turned around and found me topless, just some inches away from his face. He looked at me and tried to say something but nothing came out of his mouth.
- Youre okay Harry ? - I whispered. He didnt say a word but instead put his lips on mines. My arms found his neck while his found their place around my waist.
- I dont wanna rush things..- Harry confessed into my ear.
- Its okay me neither.. - I melted into his embrace and started to lose myself into his scent. He put me on his bed, then grabbed his shirt to out it on me. His moves were so gentle. He soon joined me in his bed and turned the lights off.
Ive never felt so comfortable in someone's arms. Harry made me feel like I was a crystal, his diamond.
- I love you - He said before kissing my cheek and with that we bith fell asleep in each other's arms.
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Its the end guyss Im kinda disapointed with the ending but guys be prepared for a fanfic with a kdrama character im not telling anything yet hihi 🤫 but anyways this one was cute I guess also english is not my language so tell me if I made any mistakes ://
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transfemlogan · 5 months
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plz teach me how to start writing smth /silly
i want to write a fic but idk how to start lol
-rauberrauber
I WILL TELL U MY WRITING PROCESS (BADLY EXPLAINED) @rauberrauber
STEP ONE: THE IDEA PHASE !!!
Come up w/ an idea & then write it down like. Halfassedly. Like my current fic was written down as "Logan transforms in2 a wolf on a full moon & virgil stays w/ him & makes a potion or whatever 2 keep the pain away & then he just turns in2 a dogy" (exact quote) & then was added onto 2 make my outline
This is my current outline (censored just so you guys dont. Get spoiled 4 everything that happens in the fic HEHDKDN) its just a lot of like rambling, trying 2 get everything in ordsr
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REVYS TIP: MAKE SURE YOU ARE DAY DREAMING ABOUT YOUR IDEA NONSTOP. /silly whenever I try to write something when I haven't thought about how it'll go while I'm doing a chore or listening to music or falling asleep, the idea will never ever come out bcuz I have no idea what I'm even trying to do.
STEP TWO: THE PLANNING PHASE !!
Start planning ! I use Notion 2 organise everything, but i used 2 use my notes app 4 the longest time (& sometimes still do if I am too lazy to open my computer).
I write down a basic summary of my plot, how many chapters there are if its a chaptered fic, the characters & relationships, a timeline if its needed, a to-do list (ex. Research [insert thing], give the characters last names, create the timeline, etc), a list of what I need 2 research (& then keeping track of everything I research), title ideas, world building, etc etc
My planning phase is like... A Lot of work bcuz i really like to plan! It is my favourite part of any creative work i do, bcuz there is something wrong w/ me /j /silly.
This is sort of what my notion page looks like for "To The Tune Of Your Death". I also have a page for character info, like pronouns & ages & genders & races & relationships w/ each other, & two separate timelines with exact years and days (bcuz it is very much needed 4 this entire au). One for the main fic timeline (like when Janus dies and when Logan and Virgil start dating) AND one for background information (like their parents divorces, bcuz it unforrunately relates to the fic)
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REVYS TIP: DO NOT GET SCARED BY HOW MUCH PLANNING I DO. it is entirely a me thing. I have yet to meet anyone who plans as much as I do & enjoys it like I do.
STEP THREE: THE WRITING PHASE !!
Note: the writing & planning phase overlay each other A Lot. You are going to start writing & then pause 2 keep planning or u will be planning & realise you need to start writing to Continue to plan. This is very normal, esp if ur researching for a disability or a race— you will not do research One Time & know everything immediately.
START WRITING!!! I always have like 7-10 drafts & I'm usually rewriting as I write. I use CalmyWriter to write on my computer and then I transfer it to discord so I can have it on my phone. I also use my notes apps a lot of the time! Bcuz its easy to just write on my phone anywhere than wait 2 use my laptop. I avoid google docs, simply bcuz i absolutely hate google docs (& it usually lags real bad 4 me)
(I do however transfer everything to google docs once I am done, bcuz i like 2 share my fics w/ ppl who want 2 beta!)
When I start my first draft (which u will always have a first draft) I am not at all focused on grammar, spelling, or "good writing", I'm focused on getting the idea down & the basic flow of events & following my outline (unless it needs to be revised). Literally my first drafts are so awful & thats the point.
Its usually very like (example): Virgil walked to the store and he bought this. [Insert what he bought as it relates to what he will be doing later] logan said hi to him he is blushing & gay. They arw talking. [Skip kissing scene] janus dies yayyy yippee
Thats what my 1st drafts r like. & then either once I am done, or while I am writing, I'll start revising. I will go back and rewrite scenes or add scenes in or move stuff around. Sometimes I have my 1st draft side by side with my revision & sometimes I go off memory
& once I am done w/ my revision... I do it all over again. & then again. & then I keep doing that until its finished.
I always keep my sketchbook & a pen/pencil by me while I am writing, incase I need to make a quick note of something for later or if I need to sketch out a layout of somehing (for example, I stopped to layout Virgil's witchcraft/office room while writing tge analogical fic)
STEP FOUR: UM. THE REST... OF IT ALL PHASE !!
I title my fic (if it hasnt been titled already), I create a summary for AO3, I send it out for my friends who want to beta, I reread it like 50 times & go "wow I am so good at writing", I create drafts on tumblr & ao3 and make sure its tagged correctly & the correct ppl r @ ed if i had a taglist of some sort etc etc
Any of my fics (or art) that you see get posted, were 100% in my drafts for like 3 hrs b4 they were posted bcuz i kept going through it and making sure everything is good (esp bcuz i cross post on tumblr & ao3)
& that is... pretty much my entire writing process broken down.
I think one of the scariest parts of starting to write for me personally was the first draft part. I always felt like it needed to be good IMMEDIATELY or else i wasnt being a "good writer". But most, if not all, writers dont start off "writing good", they start off with a shitty rough draft. & then keep revising & rewriting.
The best advice i have ever seen was "just start it", bcuz if ur so caught up on writing well, nothing will ever get done. Just GO START IT RIGHT NOW GO QUICKLY RUN!!!!!! RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE !!!!!!!!
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theswordwizard · 9 months
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sorry ahead of time if this is a weird Q, i've been a follower for some time! i went to VCUarts but i dropped out when covid hit and for personal reasons i'm probably not going to go back even though i'd really like to, so i've been piecing together my own art education. were there any subjects/projects you were exposed to in the program that changed the way you approach art? one of the last classes i was able to take was a typography class and it opened my eyes to a design world i hadn't considered. you have such strong graphic design skills and it'd be really cool to hear what helped you develop!
Hey, thank you! and not at all - i totally get that, and i love talking about design lol. i rly enjoyed the gdes program but i kinda wish i could take it again now, i dont think i appreciated it as much as i could have when i was there 😭. as is life ig. i think def the biggest thing that i learned was about using typography and trying to develop an eye for it. im bad at the math parts of it but usually i can eyeball the negative space well enough. basically getting used to considering typography as graphic parts of a composition as opposed to just placing text on top of a graphic.
i think whats honestly most helpfully informed my own design work is honestly just trying to look at and collect as much "cool stuff" as possible. i follow a lot of random design instagram accounts (tbh u can just look thru the graphic design tags on insta and pinterest) even if i dont necessarily respect the artist (LMAO) even if they just do one thing rly interesting. also following some more experimental and a lot of art book/publication/zine accounts because theyre def gonna have some of the cooler graphic design work for print format especially.
one thing about insta (and tiktok tbh) thats both annoying and helpful is that with all the promoted posts you end up seeing a lot of whats currently "trending" for design, if ur following enough design accounts. like the truck sticker i just did on twitter is actually using an effect i learned from an insta reel that popped up on my feed lol.
one assignment from a class i rly appreciated was doing "make-a-days" where you basically made an image every day. didnt matter the quality or what it was but you just had to make something. it was good for experimenting and trying new things. also just picking a theme and making fake graphics/posters for my friends comics or something i liked.
i would also say that my personal biggest strength is that im just rly good at the programs, so i can ideate really quickly and its easier to figure out how to get a certain effect i want, and specifically how to copy a style I saw from something cool i saw somewhere :) outside my more bolder lines and compositional style (i dont have enough patience for rendering 99% of the time) i have a pretty flexible style because i usually have an end product or look in mind. also im usually inspired by other artists i follow online a lot too. but honestly just take the time to rly get used to ur program of choice and what effects settings and filters it has.
biggest advice is collect as many cool images as you can find and figure out what you like across them and how you can copy it for whatever ur making.
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