there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette
{☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader
{☆} warnings none
{☆} word count 1.9k
{☆} previous [ 1 ]
This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.
She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.
But it'd been almost a week since then.
The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.
That counted for something.
Not much, but something!
..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.
There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.
She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.
So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.
Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.
Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.
Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.
She really didn't like it.
There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.
She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.
She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.
That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.
Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.
But he wasn't.
He was out running her nation, instead.
And what was she doing? Nothing!
She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.
Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.
Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.
..She wasn't ready.
What was she supposed to say?
Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?
She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.
For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.
Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.
Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.
It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.
"Focalors?"
The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.
She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.
"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"
The silence is deafening.
She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!
"Lady Furina?"
Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.
"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.
Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.
Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.
"Why aren't you killing me?"
The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.
She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.
"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."
The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.
He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.
..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?
How unfair.
"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"
She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.
..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.
She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.
For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.
Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.
For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.
Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.
She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.
She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.
She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.
"Again."
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I wanted to talk about this because it's been on my mind since I finished season 4
The way peaches represent Sun Wukong and Macaque's relationship. When they're happy in Flower Fruit Mountain, just the two of them — no brotherhood, no Jade Emperor (along with the entirety of Heaven), no journey to the West —, Sun Wukong gives Macaque a peach.
It doesn't look like much. SWK eats peaches all the time and his mountain is filled with them (seriously, is that all he eats? He really, really really loves peaches, man. How does he not get tired of them? I'd get grossed out after the first few months), of course he'd give one to his best friend! His most loyal subject!
In this scene, they're comfortable with each other. SWK talks about how what he wants is to live a lazy life with him and his monkeys, just chilling and eating peaches and basking in the sun? I can't remember exactly what he said but the point is, that he wants things to stay like that forever. Just the two of them (along with a thousand monkeys), living happily in a mountain with SWK being strong enough to protect all of them
SWK gives Macaque a peach. Macaque accepts it; the peach is fine. They're good.
The next time we see one of them give the other a peach is during another flashback, the one where SWK and Macaque are talking while Sun Wukong is sealed under the mountain (the position he was in looked so uncomfortable? He wasn't laying on his belly with the mountain on his back, he looked like he was trying to run away before he got caught with the mountain on his back), and they are definitely not good then
Macaque offers Sun Wukong a peach (read; Macaque offers Sun Wukong a peach, when Wukong was the one to offer one to Macaque before. The sun gives the moon its light, but the moon can't offer anything to it in return) and Sun Wukong acts passive aggressive with him, leaving it clear that no, Mac, he doesn't want that fucking peach (well, maybe he does, but we'll get to that later)
They're both in the right here, but they're also both in the wrong. Macaque is right for being angry at Sun Wukong. If he hadn't followed Azure's plan (he [Azure] was so fucking grooming that monkey, what the fuck. Not sexual btw), the brotherhood would've been fine, and Sun Wukong wouldn't be trapped under the mountain. However, Sun Wukong is also allowed to be angry at Macaque; from his POV, Macaque ran away from the fight when he realized they were losing. Macaque pretty much abandoned him first. I'd be angry too, honestly
Macaque is wrong for telling Sun Wukong that he's the one that got himself in that mess when really, that was partly Azure's fault. Weren't it for him Sun Wukong apparently wouldn't have cared about Heaven, since unlike what happens in JTTW (haven't read it yet, pls tell me if I'm wrong!), all he wanted was to live a comfortable life and train his troops (Azure was the one who saw him first; he found this... child? And thought that yeah, he can use this. He put him in a pedestal and showered him in compliments he didn't deserve nor want. He manipulated him to get what he wanted; not a king, but a weapon)
Sun Wukong is in the wrong for treating Macaque like shit here too, since he literally warned him and again, he wasn't at fault. Neither of them were!
Back to the point — in this scene, when Sun Wukong rejects the peach, Macaque crushes it with his hand. Later, after Macaque leaves, Sun Wukong expresses how he actually really wanted that peach. Or, in other words, Macaque tries to offer Sun Wukong his support, his friendship, and when Sun Wukong rejects it, he gives up and destroys any way of getting back together; later, it is revealed that Sun Wukong didn't genuinely want to be left alone, and that he did still wish to be friends, in a way
This, we can say is the point where their relationship was broken. The peach is left on the floor, abandoned, and Sun Wukong with it. As far as we know, Macaque didn't come back after, and even if he did it's pretty obvious that wouldn't have gone very well
(Also, just to add, and you can skip this part if you want! When Macaque is looking at the memory, he looks kinda confused? Like he doesn't remember it happening that way. Maybe that's one of the LBD messed with when she brought him back, if she even was touching them. I'm not sure if that's canon, I forgot. Please tell me if you know?)
The next and last time one of them offers the other a peach it's, again, Sun Wukong to Macaque (it's almost like that's the way it's meant to be. Huh. Sun and moon indeed haha!)
They're in a beach again! Yay! Sun Wukong's (and possibly Macaque's later, if he gets a proper redemption arc) friends and family (MK and the gang, and also the DBK fam) are there too. Sun Wukong is watching them in the sun (lol) when Macaque goes and joins him. He doesn't even go there to annoy him and as far as we know he didn't even get an invite, so he really just went to the event to chill with SWK. During this whole scene, we can see that Macaque isn't interested in starting a fight (fucking finally, man), even if Sun Wukong does act kinda aggressive at first. Which, y'know. Fair
They're in a beach again. Presumably not the same one, but still a beach. They're back to the beginning, but not really, because they're both different people. They've changed, and their relationship(s) with them
This time, it's not an actual peach being offered. It's a peach popsicle. I don't know how to spell that. Sun Wukong offers it to Macaque, and Macaque looks surprised but eventually accepts it. He appears to be happy with this
This I believe represents how they're both willing to begin a new relationship (platonic, romantic or something else, see it as you want). A new relationship; a changed one
Sun Wukong doesn't give Macaque an actual peach, he gives him a peach popsicle. He's offering his friendship, an offering Macaque accepts, but it's not the same it was before, and it never will be. They know they'll never be the way they were in the past, and they accept it. Sun Wukong offers Macaque his friendship, telling him that it won't be the same, but that if they want to heal then they've got to accept that — and Macaque takes it. It's not the same, there are mistakes that can never be fixed and actions that can't be undone, but they're willing to start anew
It'll be different, but it could be even better if they try (if they fucking COMMUNICATE for once)
And the popsicle will eventually melt. They'll eventually fight again; they'll fall apart, and maybe get so angry at each other they'll refuse to talk to each other for a while (y'know how stubborn they can be), but (usually depending on where you live) popsicles can be surprisingly cheap!
If the popsicle melts, if they struggle, they'll just buy another one, they'll just keep trying
Now all we need is a scene where Sun Wukong (or Macaque, to show them as equals if not in power then in... y'know, their relationship? I'm not sure what the word would be) gives Macaque an actual peach to show how they're them again. Not the same, never the same, but still them
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