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mrdixon · 2 months

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Be my Valentine?

pairing: daryl x f!reader

wc: 8k

warnings: 18+ content, carol being daryls wingwoman, daryls crazy shy and a loser (lovingly), second person but also you see a lot of daryls thoughts, shacking up, fingering, p-in-v unprotected, little bit of overstimulation, honestly this is just bad i apologize.

summary: daryl asks you out for valentines’s day.

A/N: smut fic and chapter 4 of a rugged muse will be up soon!!!!!! im dead ass extremely soryr this took me a week so ignore the fact that this fic is ass i am stressed out of my mind. i have so many fic ideas GENUINELY but i think i just make a lot of wips and then forget… and please please dont think im abandoning a rugged muse, school has just been really stressful on top of other stuff and im trying my best to shit out stuff for yall to read.

masterlist

“So are you asking her out for Valentines?” Daryl’s head turned to the grey haired woman who was baking up whatever she could make out of flour… and water. Carol raised a brow at him to which he scoffed, shaking his head and returning his attention to cleaning his arrows.

“Dun’ know wha’ yer talkin’ abou’,” he grumbled, kicking his feet up onto the counter. Carol sighed, swatting his feet off.

“Come on, I see the way you look at (Y/N).” Daryl glared at Carol and sat up straight, huffing.

“’s not like tha’,” he watched her stir the flour mixture with a look of curiosity and disgust. The woman rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself, finally adding some sort of seasoning to whatever she was making.

“She likes you too,” Carol hummed while grabbing a dish to pour the concoction in. Daryl sighed, leaning back in his chair as he thought it over. There was no way. No way that you would see him like that, he was just a sleazy red neck. You were completely out of his league, you two were too different.

“Nah,” he shook his head and stood up, taking his arrows before making his way to his basement bedroom.

“Just think about it!” He shook his head as he heard Carol call after him, walking down the stairs and into his bedroom. Daryl threw his arrows onto the couch, taking his vest off while entering the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror, and frowned. No way.

You were too sweet, so full of life. So pretty, so soft spoken. Compared to him you were an angel. You liking a guy like him was close to impossible. Nevertheless, Daryl looked into the mirror, trying to crack a smile.

“Hey…” Daryl’s cheeks flushed, this was stupid. His hands landed on the edge of the sink counter, dipping his head down as he tried to compose himself. He looked back up, trying a soft smile this time. “Do ya wanna be my Valentine?” He groaned and stepped away from the mirror, “bullshit.”

Daryl frustratingly stepped out of his clothes and into the shower, turning the tap on cold. He closed his eyes as he let his thoughts run around in his head. Asking you out would be nice… but so embarrassing.

His shower ended quicker than anticipated, his towel hanging over his shoulders as he left the bathroom. He picked out a black button up and some clean pants, so basically his usual attire. He ruffled his hair in the towel before tossing it into the hamper, and made his way back upstairs.

His hair was still damp and hung around his eyes as he walked into the kitchen where the fresh smell of bread filled his nostrils.

“Ya made bread?” Daryl furrowed his brows as he grabbed a glass of water, hearing Carol snicker.

“I did, someone’s here for you.” Daryl placed his glass down, turning to her. His eyes quickly met yours and he immediately brushed his hair back, cursing silently to himself.

You looked perfect just sitting there at the counter, your eyes wide as you took in his appearance. It made him feel slightly insecure to be quite honest, but he also noticed how there was some sort of admiration in your gaze. You both kind of stared at each other, just taking each other in. Carol watched this whole thing, clearing her throat.

“Okay… I’m gonna let you guys do your thing, bread’s still hot so don’t eat it.” Carol winked at Daryl before exiting the kitchen. Daryl practically rolled his eyes at the wink but quickly recovered. He looked back over at you, noticing how you rubbed your hands together. He knew that was some sort of grounding technique you used when you were anxious, so why were you feeling anxious right now? He rubbed his chin, and grabbed his glass while walking over to you. You straightened up, offering him a soft smile. His adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, and sat down next to you.

He discreetly looked you up and down, but you noticed, and it made you even more anxious. Daryl took a sip of his water, unsure if he should speak first.

“So—”

“I wan—”

You both spoke at the same time, reverting back to awkward silence. Daryl huffed, drinking more water and felt slightly more self conscious about how loud he swallowed. You on the other hand, stared off to the side, wishing you also had some water to wet the dryness in your throat.

“You first,” Daryl rasped. You slowly turned back to him, your thoughts vanishing from all you wanted to say to him.

“Um,” you cleared your hoarse throat. “You first, I kind of… forgot what I was gonna say.” You lied, you literally were going to ask him out for Valentines. As cheesy as it is, you both being grown adults, but still… it’d be nice.

Daryl froze, is this the time? He watched you carefully, giving himself the benefit of the doubt. He gulped down the rest of his water, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth.

“Wanna be my Valentine?” He cringed mentally as the words slipped out his mouth, regretting it entirely. “Or don’ I was jus’ jokin’… or somethin’ I don’ know.” He looked away, the tips of his ears red. You almost chuckled at his embarrassment.

“Yes.”

Daryl’s head snapped back towards you, his eyes wide. You sat there and smiled at him while his mouth was agape. You could almost see his thought process, but his eyes were dead set on you. You tilted your head, waiting for him to respond with a cheeky little grin playing on your lips.

“Jokin’?” He asked to which you shook your head, still with that same cheeky grin. Daryl said nothing, finally breaking eye contact and rubbing his chin. “Serious?” He asked to confirm once again.

“I’m serious,” you laughed, his heart swelling at the sound of your sweet laughter. “I’ve been meaning to ask you the same thing,” his jaw dropped at your last statement. Maybe he was as oblivious as Carol said he was. You laughed at his expression, reaching out to nudge his knee.

“Well shit,” he laughed unbelievably. “Okay then, I’ll pick ya up tomorrow?” He felt hazy just looking at you. He couldn’t imagine someone like you looking at him like that, shot by cupid’s arrow.

“Yeah, sounds nice.” You smiled again. He felt the butterflies in his stomach seeing the skin around your eyes crease when you smiled, and he almost reached out to caress your cheek. You stood up before he could and his head raised as you went. “So, I’ll see you?” Your head turned over your shoulder to look at him as you walked towards the door.

Daryl swallowed, standing up to move over to you. “Yeah,” he breathed and looked down at you. His heart thumped in his chest as he stared at your lips, watching them curve into your signature smile. He so desperately wanted to know what they felt like on his, if you wanted that is. You chuckled, lifting a finger to his lip and tapping it softly. He wanted to throw up at your touch, in a good way of course, stumbling back unexpectedly.

“See you then, Valentine.” You winked and left the house. Daryl stood there dumbfounded, his stomach all twisted in knots.

“Told you.”

Daryl frowned as he turned to see Carol leaning on the wall behind him. He rolled his eyes and walked by her, nudging his shoulder into hers.

“Shut up,” he mumbled as he walked back downstairs into his bedroom. He needed another cold shower.

“Ya have ta shoot me or somethin’, I can’ do this.” Daryl grumbled into his hands while Carol paced the empty space around his bed.

“You seriously have no idea where to bring her?” Carol mumbled, staring down at the archer as he groaned and rolled around the bed. It was honestly a delight seeing her friend so distraught over this, the most she’d seen him utterly swooned.

“No, wha’ the hell I don’ look fer these things..” he groaned while Carol walked up to the side of his bed and smacked his head. He swatted her away, pulling the blankets over himself.

“What about that cabin by the lake a few miles out the gates? You could probably take her on your bike and… shack up.” Carol chuckled, grabbing the blanket and throwing it off him. He glared at her, sitting up.

“We are not shacking up.” He grumbled, “’sides, I don’ think she’ll like it.” Carol snorted, nodding reluctantly.

“I’m sure she would, especially if you stayed the night at the cabin.” Daryl scoffed, rolling his eyes as he got up and thought it over. Carol watched him pace the room, rolling her eyes as she walked up to his dresser. Daryl turned his head to watch the woman rummage through his clothes, biting back a snarl as she tossed clothes out haphazardly. “Jesus christ you have a lot of… the same clothes.”

“Doesn’ make a difference wha’ ‘m wearin’,” Daryl shrugged as he walked up to her, and the two of them stared down as his identical articles of clothing. Carol huffed, side eyeing him.

“It does actually, you have to look all neat and clean for her. Shows you care about her,” Carol picked out a pair of dark wash jeans and another black button up, but at least one that had minimal rips and wrinkles. “Here, this should be good enough.” Daryl looked down at the outfit she set out, grabbing the clothing.

“Ya gonna clean this mess up or wha’?” He gestured to the heaps of clothing on his bed. Carol rolled her eyes as she pushed him into the bathroom.

“Yeah, yeah. Go change, your girl is waiting.” Daryl swallowed thickly at that comment, he felt his stomach swirl with all kinds of emotions. Excitement, fear, and nausea swarmed his stomach and he had to lean over the sink to ground himself. He had never felt this anxious before in his life. Sure he’d been on dates before, but this was different somehow. It was you he was taking out. You that he had a little school boy crush on.

Daryl ran his fingers through his hair nervously, quickly changing into the clothes Carol picked out for him. The shirt was quick tight on him and he had to pop a few buttons so he could breathe, was this the appeal he was going for? He groaned in embarrassment as he looked at himself, why was he so nervous? He wasn’t usually like this, at least not until he realized his feelings for you. He tried to convince himself you liked him back, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with him.

A date. Daryl blushed as he came to the realization that this was in fact a date, and he was taking you out to a lake. Alone. At a cabin. He felt like he was gonna hurl.

He turned on the tap and splashed cold water onto his face, gasping for air as he just. Kept splashing his face. After he calmed his heart rate he reached for his cologne he kept by the sink. In fact it was the one, and only one, that you complimented him on every time he wore it. He sprayed himself generously, making sure he didn’t completely reek of cigarettes. Speaking of, he needed one desperately.

Daryl left the bathroom, brushing off his shoulders and making eye contact with Carol. The woman gave a warm smile, walking up to him and fixing his collar.

“Well there you go,” Carol grinned, turning around to grab something off his workbench. Daryl furrowed his brows curiously, his eyes narrowing as she turned back with a small bouquet of flowers. “Here, my Valentines gift to you.”

Daryl rolled his eyes, taking the bouquet from her as she snickered and punched his arm gently.

“It’s for (Y/N),” she explained. “Picked out all her favourite flowers, just don’t mention that I picked them.” The grey haired woman winked and punched his arm gently. Daryl shook his head, clutching the flowers in his hand before leaving his room and ignoring Carol’s calls of encouragement.

Daryl left his house and literally walked across the street over to yours, knocking on your door three times as he waited patiently. The longer you took to answer the door, the more he felt insecure. What if this was all a joke and you didn’t actually like him?

His insecurities were all cut short as soon as he heard your frantic footsteps as you ran up to the door and opened it. He was taken aback by your appearance. You were wearing a cute little white dress and you had your hair up, if anything, you looked more like an angel. You smiled breathlessly, leaning against the doorframe with one hand while the other fixed your heels.

“Sorry I took so long, I had to…” You trailed off, not wanting to admit you were trying to pick a good bra. If he saw it tonight or not, at least your boobs looked good. “…find my shoes.” Daryl waved your apology off, holding the flowers to you.

“I got ya these, hope ya like ‘em.” Daryl murmured shyly. He watched as your eyes lit up at the bouquet, seeing you inspect each flower. Your gentle fingers skimmed over the soft petals, and his heart fluttered when he saw your soft smile.

“Oh, I love them.” You sighed delightedly, taking the flowers from him before moving back into your house. “Give me a moment, I’ll just put these away.” Daryl gave you a curt nod and let you do your thing as he stood outside awkwardly. He felt his face grow hot as he thought about how happy you looked after his small gesture, only hoping your happiness would be prolonged when he took you out.

You quickly walked back out, adjusting your dress before grabbing his hand. You chuckled when you felt him tense up, and squeezed his hand comfortingly. Daryl looked down at you and sighed, letting himself relax and squeeze your hand back.

“I was thinkin’ we’ll take my bike an’ I’ll take ya some place, ‘s pretty nice.” Daryl murmured as he walked you over to the front gates. He felt a little scared and wondered if you could feel his heart beating through his fingertips. He wondered if you could feel his hand sweating, he hoped it wasn’t.

“I’m excited,” you responded, feeling him squeeze your hand in shared excitement. He didn't admit it, but you could tell he was just as excited, maybe even more. He held your hand firmly as you made it to his bike, this wasn't your first time riding with him, but this was different.

He let go of your hand to help you onto his bike, and a warmth spread through you when he laid his hand against your lower back. He offered his free hand to you which you graciously accepted, allowing him to help you onto the bike. Once you were settled he rubbed your shoulder gently before getting on in front of you.

Your arms immediately embraced him, wrapping around his waist as you pressed up behind him. Daryl choked, letting out a breath as he started up the engine.

“Hold on tigh’ fer me, ‘kay?” Daryl drawled softly, you nodded against his back and gave him a little squeeze. He tried to suppress the shiver that ran through his body but ultimately failed, closing his eyes in embarrassment before eventually driving out the gates of Alexandria.

The ride to the lake was lengthy one, but Daryl made sure to take the scenic route so you wouldn't get that bored on the way there. You’d never get bored with him though. You two could literally be in bed sleeping and it’d still be fun for you, just the idea of being with him made things exciting.

The sun shone through the trees and your hair blew in the wind, giggling when Daryl revved the engine playfully. He watched you carefully in the side mirrors, stifling his own laughter. Your arms remained around his waist but you leaned back, closing your eyes. Daryl’s heart stopped when he felt you lean back, your arms loosening around his waist.

You felt a hand tug on your wrist, and you were ultimately pulled back against him.

“Don’ do tha’,” he furrowed his brows and made eye contact with you through the side mirrors. “You’ll fall.” You just chuckled and squeezed around his waist just a little tighter, hoping it gave him some reassurance.

Little did you know though, it made him feel nervous. The close proximity of you two was making his heart beat faster and his face grow warm. He swerved a tiny bit on the road, swallowing thickly as he pushed all thoughts out of his head and focused on not killing the both of you right now.

Thankfully, you both arrived at the lake shortly after. Daryl drove over to the cabin, parking the bike there as you hopped off and ran towards the lake. His heart dropped as you suddenly ran, his legs following after you.

“Hol’ on, I dunno if there's walkers or not!” He called after you, watching you pause and look down at the ground. His gaze followed, finding a picnic blanket and some food. His face flushed, this was Carol’s doing for sure.

“Oh wow…” you giggled while biting your finger, “ain’t you the romantic?”

Daryl groaned internally, throwing a hand over his face as he forced himself to chuckle nonchalantly.

“It uh, it ain’ much…” he gestured for you to sit down, which you did, and he soon joined you on the blanket. Your arms wrapped around your knees as a soft smile remained on your face, looking out at the view ahead of the both of you.

“This is perfect,” you murmured. Daryl’s head turned to you, admiring the glow on your skin. He wanted to say in return that you were perfect, but he held back and looked out at the view. The sun bounced off the lake and into his eyes, making him squint and turn away. You noticed and reached over to brush through his hair, “too bright?”

Daryl sheepishly tucked his hair behind his ears and nodded, turning towards the food to switch the topic. You chuckled and reached for the sandwiches, taking a bite and humming.

“’s good?” Daryl raised a brow while also taking a bite, “I ain’ even gon’ lie. Carol made the food.”

You laughed mid chew, covering your mouth as you savoured the tastes that mingled on your tongue. You placed a hand on his shoulder as a sweet gesture that meant you didn't mind, you were just glad he took you out.

He looked at your hand on his shoulder, now noticing how close you two sat together. He ate his sandwich slowly, just keeping his eyes on you while you looked out at the lake. He just wanted to lean in and kiss you, but he didn't. It’d be too soon.

You finished your sandwich and stretched, enjoying the warm breeze. You then abruptly stood up and walked towards the lake. Daryl shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and followed you quickly, not wanting you to hurt yourself accidentally.

“It's hot, let's go for a swim.” You smiled at him. He furrowed his brows in confusion until you immediately started pulling your dress off. His face flushed a bright red as he looked away, hearing you take off your boots.

“(Y/N), maybe we should jus’…” he looked over at you and swallowed. You were just in your undergarments and was now stepping into the water, he sighed and stood by. You giggled as you slipped under the water, jumping back up with a huge grin on your face as you shook your head.

The water was cool, not too cold but just enough to ease the heat on your body. You looked over at him as he stood close by, his eyes avoiding looking anywhere but your face. You chuckled at his flustered expression, sinking into the water so your entire body was submerged.

“Why don't you come in? It’s really nice in here,” you murmured before leaning back and swimming on your back. Daryl thought about it, but shook his head.

“Nah, c’mon yer gonna get sick.” Daryl tried to persuade you into coming out of the water, but in all honesty he just wanted you to get back into your clothes. “’s gonna get dark soon, we should head in.” You frowned playfully, splashing water at him.

“Let me have some fun,” you teased and watched as his eyes closed in a bit of frustration and fluster. He sighed and let you swim around, moving back to clean up the picnic blanket. He decided it could work as a towel since he wasn’t even sure if there were towels in the cabin. He dusted off the blanket and held it while clutching your dress in the other.

You smiled at him and decided it was time to head in. Just seeing him stand by the lake and watch you protectively made your heart flutter, and you dunked your head into the water before standing up. Daryl’s eyes trailed down your body that glistened from the moisture of the water, quickly wrapping the blanket around your body. You shook your head chuckling as you picked up your boots and took your dress from him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and led you over to the cabin. You were enjoying the closeness between the two of you, it was quite a shift from your usual encounters.

Daryl opened the door to the cabin and let you step in first, his arm leaving you as he walked over to the campfire.

“Go ahead an’ dry up a lil, I’ll start a fire.” He murmured to you and you excused yourself to the bathroom. As soon as you shut the door you squealed quietly, clasping your hands over your cheeks as you tried to calm your heart rattling. The thought of spending the night with him, alone? It made your inner teenage girl’s stomach twist into knots.

After realizing how uncomfortable it would be to wear your wet undergarments you decided to just go without them, and quickly stripped yourself of your bra and underwear. After drying your body with the picnic blanket, you slipped back into your dress and let your hair be damp. You checked over yourself in the mirror and made sure to toss your wet undergarments into the hamper before leaving the bathroom.

Daryl’s head turned over to you as soon as you stepped back into the living room, you saw the way he swallowed after taking in your appearance. He was crouched over by the fireplace, a nice warm heat emitting from it. You moved over to him and sat down on the carpet, grabbing a soft blanket off the couch and putting it over your legs. He bit his lip, running his fingers through your wet hair gently.

“Here, let me.” He gently guided you to sit in front of him and began to ruffle your hair to try and dry it. You smiled and closed your eyes while leaning your head back to give him better access. His big calloused fingers ran over your scalp while occasionally shaking your hair in an attempt to rid of the moisture that settled among the strands. After a few minutes of that and finding out it didn’t do much, Daryl’s hand flittered down your neck and along your shoulder. The gesture sent a shiver through your body and he flinched back, resting his forehead against the back of your head in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, it was nice.” You murmured while leaning back against him. His breath hitched when he felt your body on him, his hands moving to your waist.

“Why don’ we get on the couch? I got no clue wha’s been on this floor,” he snorted. You laughed in response and nodded, your heart jumping in your chest as he picked you up. A little giggle left your lips as he settled you down on the couch next to him, and you quickly threw your legs over his lap. He chuckled at your amusement, grabbing the blanket and putting it over the both of you. He seemed to be more comfortable around you and it overwhelmed you with joy.

He rested his head on his hand as he stared admirably at you, and his other hand landed on your knee to stroke it gently over the blanket. You looked back at him just as admirable, the hand holding his head up came down by your head, letting you rest on it. His eyes softened as he looked down at your relaxed state, stroking the side of your head comfortingly.

“This is nice,” you murmured and closed your eyes. His hand kept stroking your head and you could feel him shift his body closer. His hand came down to rest on your cheek and your eyes fluttered open at his touch. He didn’t shy away when your gaze locked on his. He didn’t know what took over him but he leaned in closer, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone.

“Can I kiss ya?” He whispered against your cheek, you could even feel his heartbeat from how close you two sat together. You looked into his eyes, seeing a deep sea in his. You licked your lips as he got closer, nodding gently and closed your eyes as his lips fitted to yours.

You felt all warm inside as you two kissed, your brain turning to mush when his hand moved from your cheek and into your slightly damp hair. He rubbed the back of your head, the kiss remained long and tender. He was the first to pull back, taking in a breath of air before smoothing your hair down. His face was tinted pink, and you imagined his ears were too.

You were slightly dazed from the kiss, your mind hazy. But you did know one thing, and it was that you wanted more.

You reached for him, cupping his cheeks and rubbing the stubble that lay there. He groaned softly and pressed a hand on the couch by your hip, leaning in to kiss you once more. This new found confidence that ran through his veins was exhilarating. His lips moved against yours more desperately, and a hand cradled the back of your head.

His hand left the couch and instead grabbed your hip, rubbing it gently with his thumb as he continued kissing you passionately. You couldn’t help but let out a small moan into his mouth and he took the opportunity to snake his tongue into your mouth. You could feel the hesitation in his movements and his hand slid over your hip to your lower back, pulling you closer. After feeling you kiss back he started to straighten up and ran his fingers through your hair.

You had to pull back to take a breath, pressing a hand on his thigh as you leaned up to his level. His breath hitched and he reached up to wrap his large hands around your waist. Looking down at him like this made goosebumps rise on your skin, his pupils were blown wide at the sight of you. He looked at you like you were sent down from heaven by god just for him. His hands itched at your waist like he was begging to touch you further, his head tilting to the side as he reached up to trace over your cheek. You let out a soft chuckle and stood up on your knees to move yourself over him, placing a knee on each side of his lap before settling down on him.

Daryl closed his eyes as soon as he felt your body on top of him, leaning back against the couch. His rough hands ghosted over your thighs, unsure if he was able to touch you or not. You shifted yourself over his lap, rubbing against him slightly and eliciting a groan from him. The sound shot a wave of heat in your lower region, pressing his hands on your thighs. Your body jolted when he squeezed your plush thighs in return, kneading your skin gently while one hand moved onto your back and pulled you against him.

“Is this okay?” He murmured low and sultry against your neck, and he smirked a little when he felt your body trembling under his touch. You bit your lip and nodded, moaning when he squeezed your thigh. “I need ta hear ya say it.”

“Yes..” you breathed against his face, arching your back when his hand pressed down on your lower back. “This is… better than okay,” he smirked at your comment, leaning in to kiss you gently. This side of him was different than you’d ever seen him before. So full of confidence and completely taking over your body. His lips parted from yours and wandered over your jaw, kissing the little spot right under your ear.

You moaned airily as he continued to kiss your neck, suckling gently while one of his hands rubbed your back. Your hips stuttered a little as you tried to refrain from grinding against him, and he knew. You could feel the smirk on your skin as he trailed his free hand up your thigh, slipping it under the skirt of your dress and dragging it over the curve of your rear. His hand paused after his calloused fingertips brushed over your soft skin, peering up at you through his eyebrows.

“Are ya not wearin’ anythin’ under ‘ere?” Daryl drawled dangerously, his finger tapping your bum periodically. When you didn't respond he brought his hands down to the hem of your dress, rubbing the fabric slightly. “Can I look?”

“Please,” you mumbled involuntarily and your face grew hot when he chuckled at your eagerness. He continued to rub your thighs, moving his way up and under your dress before lifting it up. His pupils dilated more at the sight of your exposed pussy, his eyes rolling back slightly as he fought to hold back.

“Jesus christ, ya really…” he growled under his breath before lowering your dress. You whined a little since you wanted him to go further, but at the same time feared this was as far as he wanted to go. He brought his hands onto your ass and lifted you up so he could placed you down right on…

“Oh,” you hummed which soon turned into a moan as he basically spread you over his erection. The rough material of his jeans rubbed against your clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body as you practically rode him through his clothes. He groaned into your ear and grabbed your hips to slow you down, then biting your earlobe.

“Calm down, don’ wan’ this ta go too fast.” Daryl’s rough voice grumbled into your ear. He nudged you off of him so you were standing in front of him, and he leaned back against the couch before whispering, “take yer dress off.”

You grabbed the skirts of your dress shyly, biting your lip as his gaze pierced right through you. He suddenly sat up straight and furrowed his brows in concern, worried that he went too far.

“Or don’.. you don’ have ta if ya don’ wan’..” he shook his head and grabbed your arms to rub them reassuringly, “y’know I’d never make ya do somethin’ you don’ wan’ ta do.”

Your heart swelled at his sweet words, leaning down to plant an innocent kiss upon his lips. His hands loosened around your arms as he felt reassured you weren't uncomfortable. You pulled back to place a few more kisses on his cheeks and then his forehead.

“I want to, it's just… been a while.” You looked down in embarrassment and felt a hand rub your thigh comfortingly. You smiled at the gesture, you didn't expect him to be so sweet during all this. Like you did… but then again you never imagined this would happen in the first place.

The look he gave you as he waited for you made you want to just part your legs and let him have his way with you, but you relented. Instead you slowly stepped back and undid the straps of your dress, eventually dropping it to the floor and revealing the entirety of your bare body.

Daryl rubbed his chin as he gazed over the length of your body, his body slowly moving back against the couch. He shifted himself so his legs were slightly apart, presumably to ease the tension in his pants.

“C’mere,” he beckoned you over and reached for you. Your legs moved on their own and you practically threw yourself into his arms, settling onto his lap. He cradled you like the precious thing you are, supporting your weight with one arm while the other stroked up and down the side of your thigh. “Look at you,” he murmured and brought a hand up to your cheek, brushing the stray hairs that lay there. “So pretty.”

You pussy throbbed at his words, feeling pathetic at how easily aroused you were. He leaned back as you suddenly pushed yourself up and straddled him once again, making sure your warmth was settled right above his erection. Suddenly, you felt super conscious over the fact you were really wet. You wondered if he noticed, and he did. You bit your lip and looked down at where you were sitting, your face growing hot as you noticed the slightly damp spot on his jeans.

“Oh god Daryl,” you muttered and tried to sit up. He immediately grabbed onto your hips and pulled you back down onto him.

“Don’,” he pressed his face into your neck, his eyelashes brushing against your skin when he closed his eyes. His nose pushed against you as he took a deep breath of your scent, the sweetness filling him with the primary thoughts of arousal. His thumbs pushed into your pelvic region while the rest of his fingers squeezed your butt affectionately.

You sighed and threw your head back when the warm wet feeling of his tongue graced your neck, his beard scratching you in all the right ways. You needed to feel more of him and so, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and started unbuttoning the first few buttons before he grabbed your hands.

His breath caught as he held your hands, gently pushing them away from his shirt. You couldn’t see his expression but you assumed he didn’t want it off. You silently resigned from his chest, letting your hands fall onto his biceps. He breathed heavily and kept his head down to avoid your gaze, feeling ashamed of what lay under his shirt.

“’m sorry- I jus’,” he sighed and put his hands on your waist. You understood what he meant, he wasn’t ready to show that part of him just yet. You carefully cupped his jaw and tilted his head up, melting at the sight of him. He looked so worried, frightened you’d think of him any different for what was on his body. “Can we jus’ leave my shirt on?” He whispered so quietly that you almost didn’t catch it.

“Of course. Just like you, I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.” You smiled sweetly at him and kissed him gently, hoping it’d ease his anxiety. He relaxed in your hands, closing his eyes and breathing a sigh of relief.

“Wha’ did I do to deserve ya?” He rubbed your sides with his thumbs which only stirred up more feelings of adoration… but most importantly lust. He noticed the slight impatience emitting from the way your body shifted more frequently, and a smirk appeared on his face. “Poor girl,” he teased as he reached for his belt.

You felt like a starved animal as you awaited the sight of his cock, your hands scratching at your thighs to keep yourself from undressing him completely. He didn’t make you wait too long and gave you what you wanted, pushing his pants and boxers just enough to pull his length out. Your eyes widened in both curiosity and nervousness, he was big. Sure you’d had quite a few dicks in you before but his was, different. He chuckled nervously after you didn’t say something, but you quickly replaced his hand with your own.

He choked on his own spit at the feeling of your dainty hand touching him. He’d fantasied about this moment before rather he’d like to admit it or not. He threw his head back against the couch as you slowly started moving your hand up and down his length, his own hands clutching at the cushions.

You felt a sense of pride in you after realizing how much pleasure you were giving him, and you felt yourself more antsy and aroused at the sight of him like this. Daryl let out a loud groan before looking back at you, noticing how wet you had become. His thigh was soaked from the amount of grinding you’d been doing on it.

He brought his right hand to his mouth, sticking his middle and ring finger into his mouth to get them nice and slicked up. You continued to stroke him as he did this, letting him eventually move you closer to him.

He looked into your eyes for silent permission which you graciously gave, and soon his wet fingers made way to your core. Your eyes shut when you felt those cold and calloused fingers on your clit, feeling him circle the extremely sensitive bundle of nerves. You squeezed his cock unintentionally and it made him let out a whimper, his face flushing after he made the sound.

Your hips bucked wildly at the digits circling your clit while your hand wrapped around his length to pump him faster.

The cabin was filled with noises of just the both of you moaning, and if you listened closely you could hear the lewd sounds of his fingers pumping in and out of your sticky wetness. You cried out softly when he curled his fingers, moving dangerously close to that soft spot in you. Your hand jerked him faster, eager to make him finish all over your hand.

Daryl cursed under his breath, his hips bucking up into your hand as he sped up the pace of his fingers moving in and out of you. You moaned loudly, your eyes were squeezed shut from the pressure building up inside of you, threatening to release. Daryl groaned as he felt your walls clench around his fingers which he soon pulled out, making you stop your ministrations on his cock. He chuckled at your little whines of protest and grabbed the back of your head in order to pull you down, your lips crashing against his.

Your hands moved onto his chest, clutching his shirt in your fingers as you tried to stabilize yourself from the overwhelming arousal and lust that was flowing through your body. Your breaths were hot and mingling, his tongue moving against yours with authority, and you let yourself be taken. He continued to kiss you while guiding you over his cock, pulling back momentarily to help you lower yourself onto him.

You held onto his shoulders while you sunk down onto his length, the stretch painful. You let out a soft whimper, holding still with only the tip in. Daryl furrowed his brows and started to lift you off, but you shook your head.

“No… just let me… let me adjust,” you mumbled, blinking away the tears that had made their way into your eyes. Daryl shifted uncomfortably under you, feeling terrible that you were in pain. He listened though and sat as still as he could, kissing the area under your eyes and rubbing your hips calmingly. You were so tight and he worried he didn’t prepare you enough, your eyes still closed and brows furrowed in pain.

“(Y/N) c’mon, ‘m hurtin’ ya.” He frowned purely out of concern for you, he was more worried about your pleasure than his own. You held your ground and kept sinking down little by little, and he couldn’t help but moan a little as your walls constricted and adjusted to the size of him. You kept pushing yourself to take more, wanting this moment to last as long as it could. You finally plopped down onto him with a loud cry of both pain and pleasure, leaning your body fully against his. He groaned deeply, rubbing your back as he kissed your neck to distract you from the pain.

You kept your eyes closed, feeling almost defeated as you let your body relax and adjust to his huge girth in you. You laughed a little at that and it made Daryl a little confused but he didn’t question your little giggle. Instead he just kept kissing what ever skin he could get his lips on, trying to make you feel more pleasure than pain. He dragged his hand up your thigh, up your side, and over to your breast. You gasped softly as he touched you there, biting your lip as he circled your hardened nipple.

Your hips rocked accidentally from the touches on your tit, your walls constricting again at the sudden movement. It was still painful to move but it felt closer to getting better, though Daryl felt guilty he was getting more pleasure than you were. He just wanted you to feel good. He decided to latch onto your other nipple while he toyed with the previous one, determined to make you feel amazing.

It worked slowly. Your mouth was agape and you let out whimpers and whines occasionally, testing the waters and moving your hips slowly. The abrupt movement had Daryl grabbing your hips, his mouth breaking away from your breast. He breathed heavily and looked up at you, a light sheen of sweat was evident on his forehead. The heat between you two plus the fireplace was palpable and he gingerly thrusted up into you, watching closely for your reaction.

Thankfully, no pain was evident in your expression. Bliss took over you, throwing your head back as you slowly started picking up the pace and rocked your hips against him. His fingers dug into your hips to keep himself grounded, but mostly so he wouldn’t cum in three seconds. He grunted low in his throat, watching your body move mesmerizingly above him. The feeling of his cock dragging up and down your walls was extremely pleasurable. You felt so full of him that you could trace the one outstanding vein that ran up his entire length with just the feeling of it in your pussy.

You felt hot despite your lack of clothes, your mind swirling with the thought of him and the fact that the two of you were literally having sex. You moaned softly and let your head fall forward. Your forearms rested on his shoulders, one hand moving into his hair as you brought him close to your lips once more. You were desperate for the taste of him, you didn’t know you had a thing for the taste of tobacco and meat, but you did. At least coming from him you did.

He moaned gratefully into your mouth, pulling you against him before palming your breasts as he bucked his hips up. You swirled your tongue around his, savouring the taste of him. The moment was perfect, your sweaty body pressed against his clothed one. You pulled back from the kiss to look down at him, his eyes were glazed over with lust and his cheeks were adorably flushed. Your thumb rubbed his cheek as his lips parted, his heavy breaths warm against your face. The feeling of being stuffed with his cock sent your eyes rolling back into your head as he pulled you harder down onto his cock, and you immediately went back in for a kiss.

His hands pawed at you desperately, like he needed more of you. You knew one thing for sure, and it was that he liked your ass a lot. He moved his hands down there to guided you up and down on his length, biting your bottom lip teasingly. You moaned as the friction was starting to get to you. You felt that knot tying inside of you, threatening to snap at any moment. Your fingers curled into Daryl’s hair, tugging it lightly which gave him the hint.

“So close already?” He taunted, but he was feeling it just as much as you were. You whined desperately as you bounced on his cock, eager to release. You had to lean back and brace yourself with your palms on his thighs to ride him properly, your head thrown back as you let the moans and cries escape your mouth freely. His cock twitched inside of you, the sight of you like this was better than he imagined, and it really was him making you feel like this.

Daryl let out a few whimpers, reaching forward to cup your breasts in his hands. He kneaded the flesh, squeezing it a few times before pinching the sensitive buds that hardened with arousal. You had to cry out his name when he did this, your nails digging into his thighs the faster you moved yourself.

He dropped a hand from your breast and down between your thighs, his rough thumb rubbing your already sensitive clit. One of your hands shot forward to wrap around his waist, your body shaking violently at how overstimulated you were feeling at the moment. Your cries were like music to his ears, he wanted to hear more. Your scratches at his wrist held no intentions of stopping him from rubbing you like this, but you could see your vision go blank at how overwhelming the pleasure was getting for you.

“Daryl!” You cried loudly, your grip loosening on his wrist, and your hips stuttering as you finally reached that high. You could see stars and you threw your head back so far that Daryl had to hold you up, thrusting lazily into you before quickly lifting you off so he could cum on your thighs. He let out an exasperated groan while pulling you into his arms, letting you lay on him as you recovered from your intense orgasm.

Daryl had a shy smile on his face as he rubbed your back, kissing your sweaty forehead. “You okay?”

“Mmm,” you hummed sleepily. The session took a lot out of you, but you were beyond thrilled. You wanted to say more and he could sense that, but you were too tired to even lift yourself up. Daryl grabbed the blanket that was tossed to the side and carefully wiped your thighs. Your body ached for rest, your thighs would surely be burning in the morning.

Daryl stood up with you in his arms, letting out a small huff as he cradled you to his body. The fire had long fizzled out, a new one resonating within you two. He kissed your forehead and carried you over to the bedroom where he lay you down. He stripped of his pants but kept his shirt and boxers on before slipping into bed next to you. Your half sleeping body slid over to him, pressing yourself against him fully.

Never in his entire life would Daryl have imagined he’d be shacking up with you on Valentine’s day. He wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling against your head as he closed his eyes. A soft smile remained on his face, happy to be in this moment, with you.

#divider by cafekitsune #mrdixonposts #daryl dixon #the walking dead #daryl x reader #norman reedus #twd daryl #daryl x y/n #daryl dixon smut #twd smut #twd fluff #daryl dixon x reader

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blueberry-writer · 1 year

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𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴!

·˚ ༘plot: do you really think he doesn't notice how everyone seems to want to take you away from him? (aka bsd mens when they're jealous!)

·˚ ༘ft: Dazai, Chuuya, Ranpo, Nikolai, Fyodor

·˚ ༘tw:fem!reader, possessive behaviour, a bit of dark content, sfw, mention of guns and/or murder in Osamu and Nikolai's part.

·˚ ༘ a/n:okey, i'm really guilty for not posting for two months and more and i'm really sorry about it..I'll do my best to post as soon as i can but all the tests and things i have to study in this semester are really taking me a lot of time- to make up for it, here some hc!

You can see DAZAI jealous in two different ways: When he's being a drama queen or when he's really jealous.

The first, is when he notices that you are talking to a literally another male human other than him, but in a friendly way.

He knows you very well, maybe even more than you could ever think, he know that you see that guy only as a friend and nothing more.. buuut! we all know Osamu, he's still gonna by a dramatic pain in the ass

"Ohh my, belladonna! Are you cheating on me?! You're really breaking my poor heart!" Dazai interrupted the conversation between you and your friend. "whaa- Of course i'm not!" You answered him "i don't belive you! Look at you, talking with someone else other than me! Am i not your favourite anymore?!"He puts his hands on your hips and rests his head on your shoulder. "Or, am i?" he whispered. you sighed, he is always the usual dramatic, your usual drammatic boyfriend. "You are.. and what can i do to be forgiven?" "mhh, uh i know! a romantic double suic-" "do not even think about it" You cut his words "uff!..maybe.." he pointed his cheek with his forefinger "a kiss??" you smiled: "Deal!"

The second, when he's really jealous, it's really rare. Osamu's eyes glaze over with jealousy when he sees someone who could actually take you away from him.

He can see how you are really comfortable with that person and how he seems very intrested in you.

Of course, you're not gonna betray him, don't you? He's not gonna lost his angel,right?

At that point, not only Osamu Dazai is jealous, the demon prodigy is envious.

'why all that does seems so natural? is this how betrayal works? Why is this happening? Why all off that seems so...human? Is she going to leave m-... No. She's not. I can't forget that my poor angel is a human,it is obvious that she could be subjugated by tricks like this. I'll just..I'll just help her a bit to not fall in the trick'

Let's just say that, whoopsie! Oddly, Dazai's gun is suddenly out of bullets!

You heard the front door open,there was only one other person who, apart from you, had the keys to the house :"Ohhh belladonna, I'm hooome!" You got out of bed, half asleep " 'Samu, it's late! where have you been all this time?"you yawned a little as you spoke. "Aw, is my angel tired?" he chuckled. "Mh a bit, i was waiting for you" you rubbed your eye lightly to try to stay awake. "oh you'll make me feel guilty! luckily, I got you a surprise~" you were really so tired that you didn't realize that Dazai,in his left hand, was holding a bouquet of red roses. "do you like them?" he smiled. You were a bit surprised, how sweet of him, don't you think? "I love them!" This surprise really waked you up. You took a second to admire his figure, how lucky you are, he really is your type. Tall, slender, a good build, a gun in his right hand, brown hair surrounding his beautiful fac- uh oh, wait a second- "O-Osamu, why do you have..why do you have a gun in your right hand?" there was a second of silence before dazai's voice eased the tension "mh?oh!, don't worry, it's unloaded! Ya see?" he tried to fire a few shots but nothing came out of the gun, so it was definitely empty now. "I went out to buy new bullets because they ran out, and you know, for my job it's always better to have a gun in my pocket!" his smile looked so innocent, how can you not belive him? You sighed with relief: "You're right, sorry..gosh, what i was even thinking!"he put the gun on the couch and lifted you up, you wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck "don't worry your self so much bella" he took a deep breath, as if to inhale your perfume one last time, before starting to walk towards your room "shall we go to sleep now, my sleeping beauty?" You nodded while you leaned your head in the crook of his neck and closed your eyes. "i love you so much Osamu" You murmured he chuckled "i love you too, angel. i would do anything to have you by my side"

Its' really easy to understand when CHUUYA is jealous. He's visibly frustrated and gets annoyed much more easily. But if you ask him if he's jealous, he'll answer you with "Pft, me? jealous? Baby please, that's absolutely ridiculous".

Sometimes it's quite funny to see him jealous, he's like a chihuahua growling at everyone who seems interested in you, and it's adorable!

Even if there are those times, when he's cleary ensecure.

Now, don't get me wrong! He's Nakahara Chuuya, a port mafia esecutive, he's really strong and smart. he isn't ensecure about what he is. He knows his strengths and limits.

He's ensecure about other person value. No one can assure him that the person you're talking to right now, can't give you more love and attentions than he gives you. He know what he can give you, but he's 'scared' that maybe there's someone who can give you more than him. He want only the best for his love, he's scared that he can't give you what you really deserve.

Thankfully, Chuuya isn't very good at hiding what's on his mind, it doesn't take you a long time to understand what he's thinking about.

So please, remind your boyfriend that he's more than 'good enough' by cuddle him a bit more in those times. I know you can do it, dear!

you and chuuya were sitting on the sofa, or rather, he was sitting on the sofa while you were sitting on his lap. chest to chest, you had your legs wrapped around his waist and your hands were playing with his hair. "I love you" You whispered with a smile, interrupting the moment of silence that was created between you and him. "i..i love you too princess. i really, really do." He seems like he was still lost in his toughts. You sighed, "Chuuya, please, look at me" and in the moment your eyes met, you immediately understood what was on his mind. "sigh, you leave no other choice.." "mh? what do you mea—" You kissed him "I love you so much Chuuya Nakahara" You kissed him on the forehead. "You're more than enough for me" Now on his cheek. "I want nothing more than to be with you" Now on his other cheek. You kissed him once again on his lips "I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world" his eyes were wide open as his cheeks turn in a bright red: "God..I love you so fucking much, you have no idea"

RANPO doesn't become jealous very often. Like in the case of Dazai, he knows you and he know you see that person only as a friend. He's absolutely fine with you hanging out with your friends as long as most of your attention will still be focused on him.

He understands and is totally fine with you, once or twice, refusing to go on a date with him because you have to go out with your friends but if your rejections increase..well, this man will sure get jealous— why are you giving most of your attention to them and not him?? That's not fair! not fair!

Now, i think Ranpo could have two types of reactions:

◦Being sticky:

"Ranpo, please.. I already told you that this night i'll hang out with them!" you complained as you tried to free yourself from Ranpo's embrace. "Mhh,no! you've already gone out with them three times this week" he tightened his grip a little tighter and put his head in the crook of your neck. "That's not fair! I'm your boyfriend, not them!" he snorted. You were a little confused "..Ranpo, are you jealous?" There was a moment of silent, he was looking at you with a look that seemed to want to tell you 'Are you kidding me sweety?'. "Of course i'm jealous! wasn't it obvious? You're giving me less attention because of them..Do you really don't understand that?" You were a little surprised by how he admitted to being jealous without any problems— but Ranpo is still Ranpo after all. Well now, what excuse are you going to use with your friends to explain them that you can't go out tonight anymore?

◦Avoid you,until you understand "how he felt" when you 'rejected' him:

"C'mon! Why are you ignoring me??"you said in an exasperated tone, he's been ignoring you since this morning. "mph!" he snorts as he spins the swivel chair, leaving his back to you. "Ranpo i love you, but please, can you stop being childish and tell me why are you avoid me?". He sure was childish sometimes but you love it and he knows that. "i'm not childish! Why are you even bothering? Just go out with you friends since you prefer their company to mine!"He pouted "Oh but you know it isn't true!" "alalalalala i can't hear you! Guys can you hear her? Because i cant" Not only was he ignoring you, but he was also making a scene out of you in front of the agency. "Okey okey, i'm sorry! Can you please forgive me..?" "nope, that's not how it works!" you sighed, again, this guy is gonna make you crazy one of these one day. "Mhh, will you forgive if i buy you some snaks?" He turned in your direction, finally "That's not enough dear—" Your kiss was really really was unexpected for him "Not even if i spend all this day with you and i'll promise to give you more attention?" "You'll give me more attention that you give at them?" "I will for sure!" You smiled "..You really know how to make your favourite detective forgive you,don't you hon'?" He smiled back at you, and let you those beautiful emerald eyes that fall in love with.

Is like impossible to see NIKOLAI jealous—but only bacuse you can't see his jealousy, it doesn't mean that he's not!

Actually, we all saw how Nikolai is good at acting, right? So he'll play the part of the 'never jealous boyfriend' even when he's really jealous.

You can talk about and go out with every person you want, he for sure will not be the one to stop you—He doesn't have problems with your friends!..as long as they see you only as a friend as well.

But when you start to talk about someone who winned your love once(like an ex), or would have winned your love instead of him (like an old crush)..Well, he will act all lovely and being like "oh no,don't worry dove! You can talk about them,i don't mind!" while behind his wide smile he's allready planning something.

The death of that person? a threat? both? who knows! That's for sure an idea for a quiz

However, in front of you, you will only see you wonderfull 'never jealous booyfriend' with who you can speak about everything.

"and i swear, he was like my biggest crush on higschool!" You said while chuckling and smiling remembering you when you were a student

"Oh really?" Nikolai asked as he chuckle as well "i bet you were such a a messy student in love,dove!~"

"Yeah in fact,I was!" You keep smiling, sometimes it's nice to remember the past, especially when you can talk freely about it with your boyfriend!

"But then..i never saw him again after the last year of school" you sighed softly and chuckled "you can't imagine how sad I was about that at the time!..Now i only laugh when I think about it" you smiled.

Nikolai smirks a bit "well, you have me now~ don't you?"

You looked at him with a warm smile "yeah, and i'm glad about it"

"aww! dove, your gonna make me blush!i can fell my heart melting~" Nikolai put a hand to his chest, being dramatic, as usual.. but what is life without drama? boring!

You only chuckled at his reaction

ahh, nikolai..your nikolai, your boyfriend. He's so perfect isn't he?

He's handsome, funny, silly and extremely intelligent when needed. How can you not love this guy?

he doesn't even get jealous for you to see! He's such a good boyfriend that rather than playing the boring part of 'the jealous boyfriend', he kills without your knowledge all those who tried to get your love before him.

he gets rid of that nagging emotion called jealousy and you save yourself a trauma, it's a win-win situation, isn't it?

I have the head canon that FYODOR is quite a really possessive person, so i think he can sense even the slightest advance from other people towards you.

Of course, he's not the kind of guy who shows that he's possessive, instead, he will make small moves, almost unnoticed by you, but which imply that you are his, only his.

His arm around your waist as he listens to you talk with your friend, sometimes is closer to you a few centimeters more than usual, his intention of wanting to get all your attention making you forget who you were talking to until a few minutes ago.

There are only few times when he does something maybe a little more..evident. Looking at you with the smirk that you like so much while you try to converse with someone, he becomes a little more clingy which he usually isn't,he takes your chin with his index finger and made you to look at him, before leaving you a sweet and quick kiss.. all infront of your friend.

You blushed hardly after Fyodor kissed you infront of your friend.

"I- I-" You were trying to say something, but you were too stunned to speak.

Fyodor smirked"Oh? What is it now milaya? up until a few seconds ago you seemed to have a lot to talk about with your friend. why don't you keep talking mh?"

𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙖𝙣𝙙/𝙤𝙧 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙! 𝙊𝙝 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜💙

#bsd #bsd nikolai gogol #bungo stray dogs #bsd fyodor #nikolai gogol x reader #bsd manga #dazai x reader #chuuya x you #ranpo x you #bsd fluff #bsd dazai #ranpo bsd #nikolai bsd #fyodor bsd #bsd scenarios

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malusokay · 10 months

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How to be like Jang Wonyoung

As many of you requested, part 2 of my it girls series is all about Jang Wonyeong, who's not only absolutely STUNNING, but also incredibly talented, hardworking, and of course successful. Let's get right into it!! <33

Wonyoungs Energy:

Wonyoung is incredibly charismatic, which makes her stand out without even trying!!

She has a bubbly and likeable Personality, Wonyoung appears happy and welcoming, she easily lights up a room with just her presence.

Aside from being cute and cheerful, Wonyoung is also known for being extremely hardworking!!

Confident and Unbothered. Despite receiving quite a bit of unnecessary hate, Wonyoung stays indifferent and true to herself!!

Elegant and feminine. No one does the ‘Elegant feminine self-love girly’ aesthetic like her, she is THE girly girl!! <3

Mindset:

Learn to deal with jealousy, Wonyoung gets plenty of hate, but let's be real for a second… we all know that is because of jealousy. Pretty, successful, smart, and popular? Of course, people will be jealous!!

“While practising self-love, you see good and pretty things about yourself. If I focus only on those things, I don't need to pay much attention to the criticism.”

Don't compare yourself to others “You are you, I am me”.

Keep to yourself. Stop telling people your ideas, your dreams and how you plan to archive them, your goals etc. Let your actions speak for themself!! <3

No more negative self-talk!!

Be your number 1 priority!! Take care of yourself, do what's good for you, eat well, care for your body, skincare, haircare, and your education!! PRIORITIES

Skincare

Skincare. Wonyoung has Flawless skin, finding a skincare routine that works for you can help you archive similar results!!

Wonyoungs skincare routine:

According to Google, Wonyoung only uses Innisfree products and starts by double cleansing her face, for that, she uses the Green Tea Cleansing Oil ($24), and the Green Tea Amino Acid Face Cleanser ($12)

To get the dewy class skin effect, hydration is key!! In the morning, Wonyoung likes using the Green Tea Hyaluronic Acid Serum ($30) and the Dewy Glow Tone-up Cream ($26)

Of course, you can't forget SPF. Wonyoung uses the Mild Cica Sunscreen Tone-Up SPF 50+ PA ++++, which is also great for acne-prone and sensitive skin types!! :)

For her night routine, she likes the Retinol Cica Moisture Recovery Serum ($37) and the Dewy Glow Jelly Cream ($26).

Elevate your daily life:

Healthy diet. Eating nutritious and healthy food is the first and most important step to clear skin and an overall good feeling!! Make sure to eat enough protein (ex. yoghurt, chicken, tofu or eggs), lots of fruits and veggies, and healthy fats (ex. Avocados, fish, nuts, olive oil)!!

Exercise daily. Besides dancing, Wonyoung loves pilates!! You can find lots of great Pilates videos on YouTube!!

Work on your posture!! Having good posture will not only make you feel better but also lets you appear more confident, elegant and put together. Try daily stretching and exercises to improve it <3

Try establishing a proper morning and night routine, this can help you stay structured and relaxed even on more messy and busy days.

Content that makes you feel better!! Start watching channels like thewizardliz, vogue beauty secrets, and read motivating blogs. (like mine lol <3)

Makeup:

Wonyoung is known for her iconic glittery and feminine make-up!!

Light pink blush, plump lips, glowy skin and a glittery but not too heavy eye look.

Foundation on the centre of your face and blend outwards for a naturally contoured look.

Always apply your matt products before your shimmers, that way, your makeup looks cleaner!! Also, apply your glitters from finest to chunkiest. :)

Don't apply your shimmers/glitters past the middle of your eyelid to avoid looking puffy.

If you have warm-toned skin, go for peachy glitters, for cool-toned skin, choose a champagne-coloured one.

If your struggle with dark under eyes, blend your concealer with your fingers!! This will give it a lot more coverage.

You can find lots of tutorials on Wonyoung-inspired make-up on YouTube, this one is my favourite.

I hope this little guide was helpful, I wasn't too familiar with Wonyoung, but I did some research since she was the number 1 most requested person for this!! :)

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions in the comments and let me know who you want me to write about next! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

#malusokay #girl blogger #aesthetic #coquette #dream girl #it girl #pink blog #that girl #pinterest #pink pilates princess #wonyoung #jang wonyoung #ive wonyoung #miu miu #glow up #girl blogging #girly things #beautytips

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chrliekclly · 15 days

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if you ever want to talk about your thoughts on joyce .. Peeks over the corner of your blog. i love talking and hearing ppls thoughts on joyce sooo much even if they're different from my own!! and your analysis and stuff is always so well thought out

i hope u dont mind if i answer this publicly to take advantage of th request nd get my ideas out ther (also tyvm im happy u like my insane takes on these idiots, iv ben thinking abt them for almost 10 years)

i said a lot here so gnna 'read more' it

iv ben building trans charlie n my head fr, like i said, nearly 10 years. i used to view him as cis bcuz i always try to take as much frm th source material as i can wen i craft my HCs nd i had v personal (stupid) hangups insofar as him explicitly referring to his junk multiple times nd bottom surgery simply not being on my radar as a naive littl trans idiot deep in th sauce tht transmen oftn fall into w phallo being viewed so so poorly

evn still i leaned towards transmasc charlie nd always lovd moments tht let me imagine, for a moment, it being true, like his discomfort w taking off his shirt [hundred dollar baby, charlie kelly: king of the rats, the gang exploits the mortgage crisis, young charlie and mac deleted scenes, etc etc etc], or bonnie yelling abt ppl stealing her "charlie-girl" [the waitress is getting married] which i lovd to see as her accidentally misgendering him while drunk off her ass.

having grown out of my phallo issues (nd if ur reading this and u still view phallo super poorly, please do some research and grow too), ive in recent years fully subscribed to transmasc/nb charlie, and view his timeline something like this:

baby -> elementary: charlie refers to himself as a boy, doesnt "come out," simply has no idea he's afab. bonnie lets him dress however he wants and refers to him as asked. when charlie gets confused about his genitals, bonnie says his dick will grow in later lol, makes charlie wear a dress in public restrooms and tells him its just a game

middle: puberty hits and charlie gets confused and scared. bonnie puts him on blockers w.o explaining them ("my mom used to vaccinate me like every month" [the gang gets quarantined]) charlie goes on content and oblivious. STP acquired because hes "a late bloomer" and his dicks still not growing in?? weird. confides this in mac once, but he doesn't understand.

high: charlie finally registers that he's trans after forgetting theres a health class 1 day and not being able to skip it. throws him for a loop a bit but he becomes actively invested in his goals. he gets to start T and wants to have surgeries. "what guy hasnt done some extensive research on his own genitalia?" [mac is a serial killer]

college (aged): able to surgically transition (ty medicare) and continues on with life as we kno him now

joyce, imo, fits neatly into these views.

as a transmasc nb who came out young nd prefers to be seen as just A Guy by strangers, i grew up v vehemently against anything girly that might get me misgendered, but th more i began to 'pass,' th more @ home n my body i felt, th more and more comfortable i am w femininity, th more i wdnt mind putting on a dress, as long as th general public wd see me as "a man in women's clothes." n my mind, i prescribe something not exactly th same but v similar to charlie.

i see charlie "i dont really identify" kelly as afab and nb. i see joyce as a "character" he originally created to distance himself from the dysphoria of putting on a dress as a young trans boy, but that became part of him as the hard lines he drew in the sand as a child became blurry with age and self acceptance. charlie's comfort with himself allows joyce to evolve into a more solid persona, one he enjoys embodying and allowing to become a permanent facet of who he is. he's ok with being referred to as either. they're both him.

so maybe joyce comes out a bit more outside of the bathroom now.

#ask #pariskim #charlie kelly #joyce kelly #ramblings #i hav lots of thoughts nd feelings nd smday ill draw out charlie's whole timeline th way iv ben meaning to #th same way charlie holds th gang togethr charlie holds my whole viewpoint of iasip togethr #i gave myself a headache writing this post i spent more time xplaining my years of tboy charlie thinking than joyce im sry lmao #but i do lov her

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pedgito · 1 year

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hey, im a big fan of your writing. I am also a big fan of Javier Peña, Joel and Din lmao. So can I request a story about either one of those (mostly sfw mainly because im in my feelings) that is more of a hurt/comfort angst? Maybe bottled feelings are freed, a near death experience occurs after a heated confession that didn't go well...? idk I leave it up to you if you want to write it of course. Anyways, again, love love your stories, especially the way your portray Javier. Have a nice week <3

pairing | javier pena x fem!reader

content warning | mostly sfw, arguments over commitment/relationships, mention of violence (bombing), descriptions of minor injuries and emotional distress, just lots and lots of angst [2.6k]

author’s note | this screamed javi so hard so i couldn't pass up the opportunity to write some angst for him

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3

You’ve been at it for months now, waiting for Javier to finally give in and confess to you what he’s been holding back for so long—he’s so closed off it’s impossible, his back turned to you as he grips the chair shoved into the small dining table tucked in the corner of his apartment.

This was supposed to be a one off job, spend a couple months down in Bogotá with Steve—play alongside him in the hopes of catching Escobar, settling into a mix between the three of you, realizing fairly quickly that Peña wasn’t the type of nice guy you were used to.

He was brazen, straight-forward and a little bit—scratch that, a lot of an asshole, so full of himself that it oozed out. Still, that didn’t stop you from climbing into his bed a week into your stay, breaking the one rule you had.

Never fucking sleep with your co-workers.

Look where it got you; fighting an emotionless wall of stone.

He wants you, but he can’t have you. He doesn’t want to see you with other people, but he can’t stake his claim and call you his—but god forbid you so much as consider eyeing another person, someone interested in showing you the attention you wanted, that you deserved. His jealousy is unmatched, the curl in his lip when he sees you across the room around them, the short and fleeting touches they gave to your arm in passing—from your perspective, a simple gesture between friends, but to Javier, it's a threat.

And it wasn’t that he didn’t try to show you attention—Javier was more than that, all-consuming in a way, passionate to a fault. But, he was not a lover type guy.

Still, you were naive enough to think you could change that.

“I’m not doing this anymore,” You spoke strongly, watching the tilt of his head as looks down, burning a cigarette held between his fingers, “whatever this is—we can forget about it.”

“Yeah—I’m sure the others will have a fuckin’ field day when they catch wind,” Murphy let it slip once and it’s been the constant topic of conversation, playful teasing toward you but torture on Peña who likes to keep things private, always, “always eye fucking you across the room.”

“Who cares, Javi?” You ask, feeling like you were talking to a ghost as he refused to look at you. “You don’t give a shit what’s going on here, why should I?”

And it hurts because you do.

It was innocent at first, one hookup that should’ve ended that night. But, one turned into several and eventually you were spending most night at Javier’s apartment to the extent of grabbing dinner on the way there—or, for fucks sake, cooking for the man. You knew that he loved breakfast in the mornings despite his constant refusal to eat it, how he couldn’t focus without his first cup of coffee and why he kept his gun at his bedside and the spare under the mattress.

He’s got scars, faint but visible when you lay against his chest at night—some from childhood, some not, but you wouldn’t know had you not spent the time with him and watched the vulnerability he showed when it was just you, just him after a long, stressful day trying to catch a terrifying monster and the both of you itching to burn off steam.

“You can’t ask me on a date, can’t—jesus—you can’t even look at me, Javier.” He hears the break in your voice, how hard you’re struggling to keep things together.

And you’re fuming, furious, aiming to hit him where it really hurts. You want him to feel. Feel anything.

“You like to play house and let me cook you meals, act like I’m yours when it’s convenient for you.” He twitches at that, slamming the burnt end of the cigarette into the ashtray. It’s the only real sign of emotion he’s shown all morning. “That’s all you care about. Egoísta.” (Selfish)

He slams the ashtray down roughly, ashes flying over the table. You don’t jump or flinch, not at all fazed by his outburst. You saw it too often during work when things fucked up or didn’t go his way. When he did show emotion it was intense and full body.

“I told you,” He says slowly, turning toward you now, “I don’t do this,” He punctuates slowly, fingering wagging between the both of you, “I can’t do—this.”

Clearly.

“Can’t or won’t?”

The difference is staggering, truly. You wanted an answer.

“You tell me you never want me to leave your bed, your apartment, that you want to keep me here forever because there’s nothing that makes you feel this close to home—and you can’t do this?”

He speaks it against your lips almost every night when he’s pulling you into his chest, pressing those soft lips of his against your forehead and kissing you with a tenderness reserved only for you.

Javier never answers, gaze growing more intense by the second, bound to retreat from the situation before emotions boil over—but you beat him to it, grabbing your bag and storming out without a word.

He’s never had to beg you to stay and he doesn’t realize how desperately he’d wished to ask you until a few hours later, a phone call from Steve that has his heart dropping into his stomach, the equal worry in Murphy’s voice as he relays the information.

Steve mumbles your name—hurt, bomb, Escobar written all over it, dead, so many dead.

You’re lucky to still be standing—or rather alive, forced onto a gurney lined in the aisle of some rundown Bogota hospital where the workers were running rampant, clearly on edge and scrambling to save lives.

It was minor compared to what could have been. A small concussion, some lacerations to your face and a nasty gash on your side that required some stitching. It wasn’t anything some pain medication and bandages couldn’t fix, but in that commotion you had lost all of your belongings, undoubtedly damaged beyond repair. You had been in the shopping center ten minutes prior to the explosion and you were shaken, admittedly, wondering why your life had been spared over so many others.

And you always hear about your life flashing before your eyes during a near death experience, never really believing it until it happens—and selfishly, you couldn’t think about anything but Javi.

He was a nasty parasite, the kind that sucked the life and energy out of you, took everything and gave nothing in return. You knew how he was going into things, knew he wouldn’t budge or change his ways.

But still, there was a hope that maybe he would change.

The first thing you manage to do when you find a phone is call the embassy—anyone who would answer and let them know what happened, but they were miles ahead and already fifty feet deep into investigating.

Carillo is the first to ask if you’re okay, not that it matters—but then Murphy is scrambling for the phone, a soft commotion in the background as he argues with the man until he finally lets up and hands it over.

“God, we thought you were dead. Please tell me you’re alright?” Murphy pleads, sounding just as strained and worried as you’d expect, “All your limbs, nothing missing?”

You laugh softly into the phone, the first breath of life back into after what has been a terrible day. It’s already evening, the day has come and gone and the sun is setting without a trace of anyone coming to help.

Not that you expected it—Javier wasn’t the type to get over things easily.

“Yep. Head’s still attached and everything.” And Steve can appreciate your way of coping, adding a bit of lightheartedness to a dark situation. You release a shaky breath, squeezing the plastic tighter until cracks under your grip, “Is there—I mean, they just discharged me, but I don’t have a ride.”

“Javier didn’t pick you up?” Murphy asks, sounding confused. “I told him—he should’ve…”

He trails off, cursing away from the phone as he speaks to someone distantly, “Which hospital are you at?”

You look around for any indication, reading off an unfamiliar name to Steve as he repeats it, scribbling it down on a piece of paper.

“Shit—Javi’s probably clear on the other side of town from you.” Murphy runs a tired hand through his hair, over his face. “They told us they sent everyone to the one here close by the embassy.”

Everyone.

Families searching for their missing—you couldn’t even imagine it.

“He—does Javi think I’m—“

“Shit, I don’t know. He’s been on edge since he got here this morning, we’ve been trying to figure something out, anything—he left a few hours ago when we weren’t getting answers and I just—did something happen?”

“I think I pushed him too far this morning,” You say softly, huddling closer to the wall as the halls become more crowded, louder and suffocating in a way that has your curling around yourself slightly, mindful of the pain in your side, “fuck, maybe this is karma, Steve.”

“Hey, no—don’t say that shit,” He stops you in your tracks, “Javi is…Javi, you can’t predict anything he’s gonna do. Dude’s a fuckin’ brick wall half the time.”

There’s a long moment of silence.

“Steve, I don’t have my phone.” You tell him, “Can you just—call him? Let him know. I need to find a cab or someone willing to drive me back to Bogota if that’s even fucking possible. I don’t even have my wallet or badge with me.”

It’s almost like a divine intervention that you hear Javier on the other end, cutting through the flurry of other voices and busy telephones ringing. He’s wrenching the phone out of Steve’s hand before he can get a word in.

“Querida,” He says soft, voice quivering slightly, “Querida, is that you?”

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will yourself to remember how badly things ended earlier in the day, even if they didn’t feel as important now, they were still important to you.

Emotions were high now, but the fallout could be devastating.

“Yes, I’m—Javi, I’m okay. A little banged up and stuff but I’ll survive,” The silence grows as he absorbs the information, “Look, I need to go. I have to find a ride back to town.”

“Don’t move,” He says briskly, suddenly, “Fuck—I mean stay there, no te vayas. I’m coming for you.” (Do not go)

The line cuts before you have a chance to reply.

You love how well he sticks out in a crowd despite how he likes to blend in and not draw attention to himself, but he’s all tanned skin and shiny with a layer of sweat that tells you he probably ran a few blocks to get here.

You did wait, even if it was closer to a half hour before there was any sign of him, despite how upset you still were, you waited.

Of course you did.

His eyes dart around nervously before they land on you, tucked away in a corner as you cradle your side and he’s barreling toward you, scooping you up before you can protest. The small squeak you release has him pulling back like someone stabbed him with a hot brand, brows furrowed with worry.

“My side,” You mumble, shifting his hand away from the wound, watching as it falls helpless to his side again, his gaze lingering over your body, face, seeing the amount of damage you took, “hey—I’m fine, all things considered.”

Javier blinks slowly, rubbing around the side of your jaw, careful of the small bandage covering a nasty cut, that familiar pout growing on his lips. You saw it earlier, but the implication was different.

This wasn’t anger. It was worry.

“Mi amor,” He murmurs, oblivious to the commotion around you both as he looks at you, almost straight through you, “fuck—I’m so sorry.”

You breathe through your nose deeply, shaking your head as you grip his wrist for leverage, pulling him alongside you until you’re outside, away from the crowd of people and alone.

“No, I’m sorry.”

And for once, Javier is surprised.

He knows you always have a comeback poised on your tongue, the will to fight and work through any argument that surfaces, but this is defeat. It’s clear as day on your face in the way it falls, eyes softened to the point of near tears and your cheek covered in a dark bruise that makes his chest hurt.

“I don’t know why I’m forcing you to answer to something you don’t want,” That something in question was you, but it didn’t matter, “maybe we let things drag on too long. I was just—happy, I liked it. I shouldn’t have expected anything from you since you were clear from the beginning.”

Even with Javier being the first to cross the lines he drew himself, asking you to stay that one night and never going back, making mistake after mistake until it stopped feeling wrong and started to seem, well, normal. But, here you were, taking the blame like he had no wrongdoing in any of this.

“Bebita, no.” His voice is low, thumb rubbing a tender spot in the side of your neck, a soft touch that massages the ache in your muscles, head tilting into the touch as you look at him. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Oh, the irony.

“Now look at you,” He says, scanning over your face briefly, “consumes mi mente, nena.” (You consume my mind, baby)

“I can’t do halfway anymore, Javi.” It’s pure honesty, fingers finding his wrist as they wrap around delicate, using his touch as an anchor. “I need all of you.”

“Then have it,” Javier says mindlessly, without thinking and speaking instinct—it’s real, you can see it in the way his eyes widen and soften in the same instance, that pleasing look that entraps you, “tómalo.” (Take it)

The tears that sting your eyes don’t fall, but they rise, blinking rapidly to will them away and force yourself to keep composed despite hearing those words, knowing how deeply he meant them.

“Fuck, I’ll marry you if that proves anything to you, querida.” He’s being over-dramatic, but it has your insides fluttering like wildfire, “I should’ve never let you leave this morning.”

But, he was scared. Terrified of how deeply he felt for you.

“There’s so much you don’t know,” Javier explains, “so much I need to tell you but I don’t want to scare you away.”

As if he could.

“Javi, I’m with you.” You tell him steadily, “I always have been.”

Javier laughs through a sigh, breathing through his nose as he smiles for the first time that day.

“We can talk. We will.” Javier nods assuredly, “But, I want to get you home first.”

Home. He means his apartment, but it comes out that way without realizing.

He’s tender when he helps you shower, cleans your wounds up with what little first aid he has, but he manages, helping you dress in what has to be the most vulnerable moment you’ve had since meeting him.

Javier holds you for a long while after that, curled up in his lap on the sofa as he smokes away with his head leaned against the back of the cushion, rubbing a hand over your thigh softly.

“Hermosa?”

You’re nearly asleep by then, rousing with a small hum.

“After all of this,” He trails on, “when we put Escobar away and this shit is done,” He pauses, taking a short drag from the cigarette and blowing it out into the air, “I want you to come back with me.”

“To Texas?”

He nods, squeezing your leg for reassurance.

“I'm terrified of losing you here, but home—I would never let you out of my sight, I could keep you close.”

His trepidation will always be his downfall, but he knows he can’t let you go anymore. He needs you here, he’ll need you after.

“Anywhere you want, Javi. I’ll follow.”

He doesn’t have any reason not to believe you.

“Buena.” (Good.)

Please consider a reblog if you enjoyed this fic! It’s makes a huge difference. ♡

#javier pena x reader #javier pena x you #javier pena x y/n #javier pena #narcos x reader #narcos #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pas #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #my writing

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butchspace · 7 months

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I guess I kind of just use this account for PSAs now, and this has been on my mind a lot lately.

I figured out that I have OCD a few years ago, and recently I’ve seen a lot of bad advice around dealing with intrusive thoughts and obsessions.

There’s that post that goes around occasionally about “taking pictures of your oven knobs before you leave” or other things I’ve seen that say to “make a weird face when you lock your door.” THESE ARE COMPULSIONS. If you have/suspect you have OCD or you often struggle with things like that, please do not follow this advice. Instead, try to accept your intrusive thoughts and move on, not argue with them. Over time, they will get easier and easier to deal with. Ruminating, stressing, or arguing with them just makes them worse in the long run.

If you think you might have OCD and want to seek a specialist, the IOCDF’s home page has a lot of resources under the “find help” tab, including a locator.

I’m going to put the rest under a read-more because I’m going to talk a bit more in depth about intrusive thoughts and compulsions. This mostly because good OCD info is so sparse on line, and I’ve spent many hours compulsively researching OCD lmao.

Content warning:

discussion of unreality/doubting one’s own perception

discussion of specific compulsions

I’m not going to push this point too hard or shame anyone who doesn’t want to follow it, because OCD doesn’t really just go away. It’s a constant struggle. I give in to compulsions regularly, even though I am medicated and have seen a specialist to learn actual coping skills. It’s hard to resist sometimes and you don’t always have the energy, the awareness, or the power to ignore them. You do what you have to do to get through your day. The main difference is that the right medication and the right therapist make it easier to stay out of the spiral and to leave a spiral when you’re in one. They still happen. You still kind of have to play everything by ear.

Similarly, it is super fucking hard to get help or even get diagnosed. No regular therapist actually knows what the fuck it looks like, and specialists are few and far between and often don’t take insurance. It’s not fair or easy or necessarily productive to try and do exposure response prevention on yourself. Your “good coping skills” can even turn into an obsession or compulsion, where you’re constantly worried about what is an intrusive thought and what is not, or if you’re responding to them properly.

What I want to do is try to give at least some useful advice to people who are struggling with intrusive thoughts.

The best way to respond to them is not at all. This is especially true with OCD, because the response to them is sort of the root of this disorder. Sometimes, it’s recommended that with depression or anxiety you challenge your thoughts. In OCD, it’s the opposite. Challenging them can so easily lead you down a compulsion spiral. (More about that cycle from a professional.)

Compulsions can be entirely mental, but I’ll use a common behavioral one to look at how engaging with compulsions can go:

You start by taking a picture of the your stove knobs to make sure they’re all off. That works for a few hours or days, but then you start wondering if the knob is ever-so-slightly in the “on” position. You wonder if the picture proves they’re off enough. You forget to take the picture at all, and have to go back in to check anyways. You check your phone a few times before leaving to ensure that the picture is still there. You take several pictures because you can’t tell if you actually took any at all. You start to wonder if you can even trust what you see before your very eyes. What if you’re just imagining that the knobs are set to off? What if you’re just imagining the whole picture to begin with? The picture allows you to engage with your checking compulsion throughout the day, strengthening the connection between the intrusive thought and the urgency to do something about it. That means it gets worse. That means you find new ways to doubt your perception or your memory or whatever.

It can eventually get really bad. It’s hard and awful to try and deal with this on your own, but sometimes you have to.

It’s so shit. It’s so fucking shit how long many people suffer with mental illness without even knowing what’s going on. I didn’t know that my constant, overwhelming guilt over almost everything I’d ever thought or said or done or maybe did and couldn’t remember was the result of a disorder. It was so freeing to realize there was actually something that might help me, and I could learn to just live with myself and my weird ass thoughts that don’t necessarily mean anything at all. It’s so shit that OCD-awareness is so low among therapists. I was never going to get diagnosed until I found an OCD SPECIALIST (bold, italicized, all caps. Don’t trust people on psychology today who just put OCD in the list of what they treat.) and went over the Y-BOCS with her. It’s all so shit that several therapists I came to with textbook examples of OCD either ignored me or didn’t have the tools to help. I told one of them I “didn’t feel connected to reality” and he kind just went 🤷.

I just want everyone who is in that/a similar situation to at least have this information available to them.

If you want to learn more, these blogs from Sheppard Pratt were the best discussion of OCD I found online that really described what I was going through. They’re written by licensed therapists, several (all?) of whom live with OCD. They’re very healing to read if this is something you’re struggling with, or something you think you might be struggling with, and great in general if you want to learn more about OCD.

Whatever’s going on, OCD or not, have some grace with yourself. Take a few minutes today and do something kind for yourself, even just think one nice thing about yourself. You’re doing the best you can.

#actually ocd #ocd #ocd awareness #do with this what you will but I stresses me the hell out when I see people #uncritically reblog posts suggesting new compulsions to people #because they worked on me and made my ocd worse #im sure a lot of those suggestions came from others with ocd so I’m not trying to come after anyone about this #I just feel like I don’t see a lot of discussion about this stuff in general and even in the notes on those posts

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sonnysonder · 5 months

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(THIS POST IS PURELY ABOUT THE FICTIONAL QSMP CHARACTERS, NOT THE CREATORS WHO PLAY THEM. THIS IS ALSO MY OPINION WHICH I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE)

Can I be fr for a sec

I'm honestly more interested in who qFit and qPac are as individual characters than who they are as a couple.

And no, you can stop clutching your pearls. This is not me saying I hate Hideduo, or even FitPac. I really like them in fact! They have good chemistry, and they play off each other wonderfully.

But I just wish more people would see the two of them as their own seperate characters.

I think both qFit and qPac presently suffer EGREGIOUSLY from both mischaracterization, and just...people forgetting that there's more to the two of them then who they are as a couple.

I was SO excited when qFit lore really started taking off because I knew a whole lot of cool fan content to consume would come out of it, but I hardly see anything anymore. Ik q!Fit is one of the less popular characters, and it's occurred to me that a lot of people might only know his character through FitPac.

(Which leads to a ton of mischaracterization. Like people even throw out the whole slowburn thing and all the trauma stuff that MAKE them a slowburn but that's a gripe for another day)

But qPac REALLY gets the short end of the stick imo. I have seen MAYBE three works of art, fanfiction, or otherwise that delve into who he is outside of relationships (Fitpac or otherwise!!!) Which I think is SUCH a waste! The dude is an orphan! A skilled fighter! A loving father! A MASTER INVENTOR!! And I'm lucky if one these things are even MENTIONED in most fics I've read.

(Yes, qFit is my favorite character and the one I follow predominantly, but from what I've seen qPac is also portrayed extremely surface level in a lot of works which is a shame!)

Lemme see more qFit lore works, his friendships with other characters, badass stuff with him in 2b2t, heck, stuff with him and Ramon! They have a fascinating relationship!

Let me see stuff that really EXPLORES qPac. His guilt, his highs and lows, his backstory, his SKILLS! WHY HE DOES THE THINGS HE DOES!!!

Anyway this is not me saying not to make FitPac/Hideduo stuff. Make whatever the hell you want, I'm just saying there's a ton more to both characters that's super interesting and has tons of potential, you just gotta look a bit deeper!

PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE MORE STUFF ABOUT THE CHARACTERS QFIT AND QPAC ARE. AND FOR THEMSELVES, NOT JUST FOR EACH OTHER. THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN JJST BEING EXTENSIONS OF EACH OTHER.

Also this had nothing to do with qFit basically being confirmed queer!! That's great love that for him!! I've just had this on my mind for a while now!!

This is also not directed at anyone in particular!!

Thanks for listening to me gripe ig

#fitmc #pactw #qsmp fitmc #qsmp pactw #rant post #qsmp #fitpac #hideduo #AGAIN I'M NOT SAYING I HATE FITPAC FANWORKS #I JUST WISH THERE WERE MORE DIFFERENT ONES #EVERYONE IN THIS COMMUNITY IS TALENTED #GOODNIGHT

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shiggyscumrag · 1 year

Text

Puff Puff Pass

[Getting high with Brett and then fucking the shit out of him!! CONTENT WARNINGS: oral (male receiving), vaginal sex, cursing, praise, drug use: weed]

Let’s just say he had a pretty fucking stressful day at cognito and just wanted to get home to you. The gang asked if he wanted to go for drinks, and he almost gives in when you step in.

“Actually Brett and I were planning on spending the night together at home.” You speak up wrapping your body around his arm. Looking down at you, looking back at them, then back at you again not knowing what to do. Brett is a yes man and can’t say no to anyone, especially not the people he loves most in the world! The love of his life v.s. His work family! Before anyone can speak up you squeeze his arm and say “Have fun guys!” Brett slowly starts being pulled away after you start walking towards the exit. He speaks up as the office door is closing on him.

“Can’t say no the wife gang, I’ll drink with you guys later!” He gives a wave and the door barely misses his nose almost pinching it shut. He then turns to you “I didn’t know we had plans to stay in tonight?” He felt bad for not remembering you saying anything about a date night.

“Well you looked stressed this past week and haven’t been getting the best sleep so I thought you could use a night in.” You say squeezing his arm slightly. He loved the sentiment truly, he was also relieved he didn’t forget a date night. He would’ve felt terrible. You don’t deserve a man who doesn’t remember a simple date night. You could do so much better-

“I got some weed so that you could really relax. I was thinking we could just smoke, cuddle and watch a movie. Sound good to you?” You spoke interrupting his thoughts. You were always good at stopping his over thinking, even if you didn’t know it.

“That sounds really nice actually.” He smiles getting into the car. Once you’re back at your shared apartment you decide it would probably be good to get some food. When Brett goes to start making food you stop him.

“Hey hey mister, this is a lazy night so you’re not cooking and I’m not either. I thought we could order in dinner and some snacks since we’re gonna be soaring in the clouds here soon.” You chuckle, hands still placed on his chest from trying to stop him from entering the kitchen.

“I guess that would be pretty nice. We have been cooking a lot lately so we could afford to splurge. Ah what am I saying let’s do it!” He screams as he launches his arms in the air. It looks like he’s doing a victory pose.

“Perfect, I’ll order and it will be a surprise because I know you love surprises.” You say pulling out your phone ready to order.

“I do love surprises. What movie do you wanna watch while we wait?” He asks moving to grab the roommate off the mantle.

“Whatever you would like babe. I just want to spend time with you, plus I’ll probably be to busy starring at your handsome face.” You smile “And you know rolling the joint but mostly your handsome face.” You add shrugging your shoulders. He gives you a chuckle and a kiss on the cheek once he’s settled on the couch. While you sit there doing your thing he scrolls through Netflix trying to find the perfect thing to watch. Scrolling and scrolling and scrolling till her finds it, the perfect movie of all time… Shrek 2! You snicker at his choice and continue to pack the joint full, slowly and meticulously rolling it into the perfect shape. You grab the lighter and watch as the end ignites, taking a deep draw you let the smoke fill your lungs before you exhale right into Brett’s face. That definitely pulled his attention from the movie.

“It’s all ready babe!” You say with a grin wide across your face. You look excited, eager for him to take a hit.

“Thanks!” You pass him the joint and he places it to his perfectly plump lips. You see his lips purse a bit while inhaling the smoke. He immediately starts coughing, face red and eyes teary. You grab the joint from his hands and quickly put it in the ash tray. You grab the bottle of water sitting on your end table and hand it to him telling him to take a sip. He follows your instructions immediately and practically inhales the whole bottle in one gulp. Your astonished at how he does it before he starts coughing again pulling back to reality. You pat his back slightly and rub it while he calms down, the coughs slowly dying out.

“Are you okay? Can you breathe alright? Do you need more water?” Questions are flying from your mouth panicking that you might have just killed your boyfriends perfect lungs.

“No no I’m alright, just burned a little.” He choked out through strained coughs. You watch as few tears fall down his puffed up cheeks. You kiss them as it’s the only way you can think it would make him feel better.

“We can stop, I think that’ll be best since it clearly hurt you.” You say beginning to put out the joint. He immediately grabs for your hands gripping your wrist.

“You don’t have too! I just won’t smoke, which is no big deal to me.” He says eyes wide with a slight look of hurt sprawled on his face.

“Brett it was meant to be for you, not me, so I don’t want to make you feel left out if I’m the only one smoking. That’s just not fair to you.” You explain turning to hold his hands.

“No please don’t stop just cause I can’t. This was for us to enjoy not just me. Plus, I like watching you smoke it’s really hot.” He protests, his cheeks growing red again at the confession.

“Okay.” Is all could squeak out and you pinched your thighs tighter together. A swirl of nervous and excited energy burn in your stomach. You pick the joint up out of the ash tray and once again put it between your lips. You take a quick drawl and then another longer turning to Brett and slowly letting it out to engulf his face. Once you’re done you see him lean forward while looking down and your lips and back up to your eyes. You meet him the rest of the way and press your lips against his. He pulls away after a second kiss and whispers

“Could you kiss me with the smoke in your mouth?” You can see the contact high starting to hit him, red haze in his lidded eyes. You scan his face determined to memorize every inch of it in its current dazed expression. You nod your head giving him a quick peck to his lips before beginning to take another hit. Holding it in you lean forward and capture his lips in a deep kiss. Pushing smoke into his mouth between the fight of your tongues. You feel his hands find their way to your hips, giving them a slight squeeze when he finds the perfect spot. You part your lips slightly out of breath and quickly set the joint down in the ashtray in desperate need to find his lips again. He pulls you on top of him now straddling his legs. Your hands reach up and find refuge in his Carmel locks. His hands are gripping deep into your hips when he pushes you down onto his hips beginning to grind yours to his. You pull away panting as you look down and let out a small moan. You can’t miss the way you hear him groan as you start grinding harder against his hard on. You pull away cupping his cheeks as you stare deeply into his brown eyes.

“I want to fuck the shit out of you.” A small grin on your face as the words leave your mouth, but Brett can’t miss the look of desperation in your eyes.

“I wouldn’t want anything more.” He says as he reaches to take your top off. He stares at your newly exposed skin, still warm from the hoodie you just wore. He starts at your left shoulder slowly kissing his way down your collarbones to your right shoulder. Then moving up to place a deep kiss on the pulse point on the side of your neck. A breathy moan slips from your lips as you grip his shoulders. He pulls and captures your lips and he goes to unclasp your bra. You pull down on his shirt, urging him to take it off. After pulling of your bra he reaches down and pulls of his shirt. You almost start drooling while staring down as his juicy pecs and toned abs. You start kissing and leaving hickies across his chest. Your hands make their way down to his sweatpants pulling down the waste band and feeling that he has no boxers on. You looked down eyes wide and mouth dropped. Maybe the high was kicking in because you feel sober people don’t get this shocked when they see their boyfriend not wearing underwear under his grey sweatpants. It’s kinda expected. None the less he notices your expression and let’s out a chuckle.

“Sweatpants just feel most comfy this way.” He leans forward starting to kiss you again while tugging at your pajama pants. You pull back standing up and pulling down your pants and underwear in one clean sweep. Stepping out of your pants you quickly fall to your knees and start pulling down his sweats. He lifts his lap allowing you to strip him of his pants as you begin to kiss his shaft. You leave a kiss with a small lick to his tip that makes a small hiss leave his lips. bars.

You lick a long strip up his shaft before beginning to hollow your cheeks and suck him off. You would like to say you had some patience but when it comes to sucking his cock you are anything but patient. You push yourself as far down on his cock as you could bobbing your head fast and sucking hard. You feel his hips buck as you suck particularly hard near his tip. You then see him shiver and let out a whimper as you pull his cock and start sucking a vein on the underside of his shaft. Going back to give his tip more attention you begin to bobbing your head up and down again. He couldn’t help himself and held your head down on his cock when you neared his base. A loud groan leaving his mouth as he bucks further into your mouth. You glance up at his face and see his eyes squeezed shut and his jaw clenched shut. After a minute he pulled you off his cock and placed a chaste kiss to your lips. He lifts you off your knees from in front of him and pulls you into his lap again.

“I’m sorry babe I can’t wait any longer.” You respond with only a moan as you feel him drag his cock through your folds and slowly circle your wet hole. “You alright?” You can only nod and he takes it as encouraging and starts pushing in. You feel the drag of his vein against your walls, it makes you toes curl in pleasure. Your hands dig into his shoulders and you press your face into the side of his neck, a whimper escaping you as he bottoms out. “Oh fuck, you feel so good. So wet for me.” Brett knew just the right words to get you going. Before he could even say anything else you began to bounce on his lap. His hands find your hips fast and grasp tightly as a moan breaks from his throat. A shocked filled moan might I add. He guides you up and down his cock, staying a nice steady pace, hard and deep. You bounce and bounce till you feel your legs beginning to burn. You let out a whine and fall down onto his lap with tears burning in your eyes.

“Brett, my legs hurt. Please fuck me.” You hold onto the sides of his face looking deep in his eyes.

Kissing the underneath of your jaw he begins to thrust up into you. “I got you baby. You did so well. Such a pretty girl, my beautiful girl.” His thrusts are hitting deeper than before, you feel a pressure building in your stomach. It feels like a fire is burning your skin from the blush that has taken over your body. Brett’s praise mixed with the way his cock drives you crazy is making you go feral. You begin to suck hickies into his neck as you run your hands through his hair. Your beginning to over stimulate him causing sinfully loud moans to come out of him. Gripping onto your hips with a bruising strength he begins to babble out incoherent words.

“Baby- fuck holy shit. You feel- oh fuck- so fucking good. I’m gonna cum soon.” You pull away from his neck to look at his beautifully blissed out face and kiss him hard.

Pulling away you tell him “Cum inside me.” That sentence alone was enough to throw Brett right over the edge. With his hips stuttering you feel hot ropes of cum seeping into your walls as a loud moan comes out of him. You continue to grind into him to fuck him through his high. He then suddenly pulls you off of him and throws you down on the couch quickly getting between your thighs. Before you knew it his face was buried in your cunt eating you out like a man starved. His tongue went deep into your hole sucking his and your cum from your cunt as he then started to give your clit the attention it deserved. Circling your clit with his tongue he inserted his middle and ring finger into you hitting your g spot with every thrust he gave. Your head rolled back as the pleasure built up in your stomach, it felt like a million butterflies flying around your stomach. The heat on your chest begins to build as your hands dig and pull at Brett’s hair, the overstimulation taking over. One particularly hard thrusts of his fingers sent you hurling over the edge as you screamed out his name as you came all over his mouth and fingers. Shaking he rode you through your high and pulled out his fingers placing them in your mouth to lick them clean. You immediately complied and you could see his cock twitch when your tongue wrapped around his fingers. Once you were done and let his fingers go with a pop he gave you a deep passionate sloppy kiss. Spit and cum mixing in both of your mouths.

Pulling away he spoke up “This is a lot better than drinks.” You couldn’t help hit giggle and sit up giving him another kiss. Just as you pulled away you heard the doorbell ring. Your food must be here. “Talk about perfect timing.” Brett quickly stood up and put his sweatpants back on running to the door to grab the food. You hysterically laughed at his enthusiasm and simultaneously fell in love with him all over again.

#brett hand #cognito inc #brett hand x reader #brett hand smut #cognito inc smut #brett hand inside job #inside job #inside job smut #fypage

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charmercharm3r · 1 year

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Masterlist

5/8 of The Sleepwear Series

wc: 6.5k

Synopsis: So many hints dropped, so little of them picked up.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, softdom!changbin, fem!reader, friends to lovers cus he's a cutie, mentions of periods, fingering, piv, marking, mentions of graphoerotica, creampie, pretty tame ngl

“God fucking damn it—“

You had already pulled your pants down and sat on the toilet when you saw the small red splotches of blood on the gusset of your underwear. Typical, your period decides to leak through your tampon while at your best friend’s man cave he calls a home. And your bag with necessities in the living room, out of reach. Changbin would die on the hill that his place is better than yours, but if that were the case then he’d have feminine products under the sink like most people. But he doesn’t, which not only proves your point but leads you to loudly call out for him from behind the closed door.

Heavy footsteps padded down the hallway followed by the door abruptly opening, your legs closing tight and pulling down your shirt to cover any indecent skin, “what the fuck?!”

Changbin looked at you with his eyes wide open and a worried brow, “you’re not dying?”

“I am now! Of embarrassment. Close the door!” He immediately stepped out and pulled it behind him just enough so there was a small sliver still open.

“You yelled my name, I thought you were hurt.”

“So you barge in like a fucking barbarian?”

“Well– yeah!” You could practically hear the gears turning in his head. “If you’re not dying, do you need something?” Changbin’s voice softened and he fiddled with the door knob.

“Can you get my bag for me?” The sheepish nature of your tone made him peak through the crack, “why? What’s in it?”

“Changbin, door!” As you pulled your shirt as far down your body as it’d go, he let himself into the bathroom entirely and stood with his arms folded across his chest.

It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to lose his sense of personal space. To Changbin, your space was also his space, you would practically breathe the same air because sometimes he forgets that you’re your own person. Changbin doesn’t do it on purpose, though. It’s his way of showing his affection. There’s times where you’d be sat at the end of the couch and he’d plop down straight on top of you. His friends give him hell for it, always pushing him away but he is persistent. Jeongin is especially grateful for your presence, taking Changbin’s attention off of him and redirecting it onto you. Though, his timing isn’t always the best, catching you in the bathroom like this isn’t entirely uncommon.

“Are you being weird in my bathroom?” He narrowed his eyes at you, seemingly unaffected by the fact that you’re still sitting on the toilet.

“You’re the weird one! Why don’t you have pads or tampons? Do you hate women?”

You could see the lightbulb in his brain flicker on as he took a step back and uncrossed his arms, ears tinging red. “I don’t hate women! I love women– I love women a lot. Like a few months ago, there was a woman who got a lot of my love–”

“Ah, ah, ah, I don’t wanna hear it. Just get my bag, woman hater.” You shook your head and mumbled incoherent words until he finally left and returned with your purse.

If you were being honest with yourself, there was more than one reason you didn’t want to picture your best friend with another girl. There was the fact that he was built like an absolute unit and then some, charming and handsome and kind and thoughtful and funny... Also, just the image of him in bed with someone else was a bit horrifying. You knew him so well that thinking about it made your heart sink and cringe at the same time. Were you crushing on your best friend? Yeah, but who wouldn’t? Changbin is hot in the most endearing way– like he knows he’s attractive, just not to what extent. If only he knew… No, that’s unlikely. He’s the most oblivious person you’ve ever met.

As you rummaged through your bag to find something to ease the mess, Changbin still stood in front of you. “What are you waiting for?”

“How do tampons work?” He blurted out and eagerly watched you pull the little plastic tube out of your purse.

“If I tell you, will you leave me alone?” The rapid nodding of his head had you shoving your bag into his arms again and holding up the sealed tampon for a clear view. “Step one, open,” you unwrap it and hold onto the plastic packaging, “step two, insert. Step three push. I’m not showing you my vagina, so can you get out now? My legs are starting to go numb.”

As if his curiosity had been satisfied, Changbin shrugged and left, closing the door behind him while muttering a, “I’m so glad I’m not a girl.”

The next few hours were spent wasting each other’s time, starting a movie and not finishing it because he couldn’t sit still then attempting to toss popcorn in the air at you in hopes you’d catch it in your mouth. You amused him, of course. His laughter was contagious and it’d be a crime not to laugh along with him.

It was close to 9 p.m. when you decided to go home. The walk wasn’t far and you’d done it a million and one times, and every time Changbin offered to walk with you. You couldn’t really protest, especially when he never directly says he was going to walk you home. He’d make an excuse like he’s stopping at the convenience store or doing this and that.

Upon coming up to your street, you asked him, “are you taking another late night walk that just so happens to be in the direction of my house?”

The two of you were shoulder to shoulder, hands occasionally brushing against one another as cars passed by. “I was going to get my mail but… I can’t remember where my mailbox is. Thought it might’ve been this way but maybe I was wrong.”

This is what always happened. You’ve known him for what feels like forever and every time he stops just in front of your apartment building, your heart breaks just a little more. You wished he’d come in, stay the night, be there when you woke up. He does this thing where he sticks his hands in his hoodie pocket and looks at the ground with a soft smile, he’s doing it now and peers up at you sweetly. Like the ground was suddenly offering to buy him a four course meal and dessert, Changbin dipped his head back down as soon as you met his gaze.

“You don’t need to do this every time. But bonus points for creativity,” you playfully nudged him on the shoulder, grateful for the cloudy night sky shadowing over the blush on your cheeks.

Obviously, you loved that he did this for you. It makes you feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy inside. A part of you, a rather big part, wished that he’d do it because of a certain emotion, but again… just wishful thinking. Changbin walks you home because he’s a nice person. He makes up reasons to keep talking to you because all his other friends are busy. The only thing that could explain why he calls you all the time for the most random things is because he just blindly presses on his most recent call– that just so happens to be you. Purely coincidental, everything he does is because Changbin is your friend, your best friend. And it’s normal for friends to look at you the way he’s looking at you now, right?

Curtained by his natural curly hair, it was like galaxies had found a home in his eyes. “I want to,” he stuck his hand out to tap adoringly under your chin, “gotta make sure my favorite girl gets home safe.” The action and the words made your skin burn, but somehow shiver at the same time

“Did your mom finally tell you to stop calling her every night?” You brushed his hand away as you spoke, trying to conceal a flattered smile.

“Yeah, but my mom’s always number one. You still rank the highest out of all my girl friends.”

“I’m your only girl friend.”

“All the more reason you’re on top of the list.”

There was that stupid, lopsided smirk of his, annoyingly cute how it didn’t even seem like he was trying to be smooth with his words. Unruly locks sticking in every direction, sweater somehow concealing the muscles you knew him to have, you didn’t even mind that he was wearing slides with no socks, seeing Changbin so domestic made your heart swell even bigger than it already was. If you spent any longer with him, you were sure you wouldn’t be able to keep up such a cunning facade.

Low and behold the universe was listening whether it be beneficial or detrimental, a deep clasp of thunder boomed and not a second later began a heavy downpour of rain. While you didn’t move an inch, just looking up at the crying sky, Changbin wrestled his hoodie off and tossed it over your head like a canopy. You looked at him confused because you were standing in front of your house, if you got wet it was no big deal. Whereas he still had to walk home, but chose to rid himself of the only thing protecting him from the cold to make sure you stayed dry. How close he was now, tying the sleeves below your chin to make sure the jacket didn’t slip off your head. You couldn’t help the fondness in your expression, unable to see anyone but him.

“You’re staying over,” you say, taking his hand before he can protest and whisking him inside.

The both of you were soggy messes in the foyer of your apartment, unsure of what move to make. You thought you’d known what you were doing but now you were trapped with the only person in the world who could make you feel like bursting at the seams.

The same confidence that pushed you to invite Changbin inside was slowly fading, but you had enough left to begin to strip away your articles of clothing one by one, starting with the hoodie tied around your head. You plopped it on the floor and began to take your top off when Changbin dramatically flushed his back against the front door. “What’re you doing?” He asked, covering his eyes as you added your top to the wet pile.

“I don’t want my entire house to be soaked. Strip, I have spare clothes you can try.” Even if he tried to be decent and not look while you undressed, the irony of it had you rolling your eyes. “As if you weren’t in the room when I was on the toilet earlier.”

“Hey, that was different!” Changbin defended himself for a second before realizing the same thing you did, ultimately beginning to discard his wet clothes as well. When you shimmied off your pants and picked up the sopping pile, your best friend was handing you his shirt and looking you dead in the face as he unbuttoned his jeans. You didn’t think he intended for it to come off as electrically charged as it did, but it was like you couldn’t look away. Not that Changbin wanted you to, he loved the way you were staring at him.

Your eyes raked from his broad shoulders down the plane of his chest and tummy, keeping a steady gaze on the way his fingers elegantly unzipped and pushed the pants down his legs. When he handed the garment to you, you felt the searing heat of embarrassment shoot through your body. He stood with his hands on his hips, just in his boxers now.

The pace at which you ran towards the laundry room was laughable, for Changbin at least. He got a kick out of your antics, but he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Changbin thought he was being as obvious as possible that he cared for you much more than a friend, but the message must’ve gotten lost in translation because not a single thing he put down, you picked up.

Changbin wanted to be embarrassed, walking around your house in just his underwear, but he felt more comfortable than anything. He’d raided your fridge for snacks, drank water, grabbed some alcohol, even sat on the couch because somehow his boxers were the only thing that didn’t get wet. A beer in his hand, feet kicked up on the coffee table then your and his favorite show clicked on in the background was his definition of home. He loved the atmosphere of your apartment, the smell of patchouli, soft yellow lights in the corners of every room, even if it didn’t have his play station or mini music setup that was an easy fix. So easily could he imagine himself waking up here every morning, waking up to you and being able to cook you a small breakfast before he went to work–

Getting ahead of yourself, he thought.

You changed into some shorts and a shirt and gathered spare clothes before you fully stepped into the living room, you watched Changbin flow about the place. He seemed even more relaxed than he had back at his own house. Quietly you observed from a distance, your heart warming as he poured you a glass of wine and set it on the table for when you returned, unfolded the blanket that hung on the back of the couch and set it where he wanted you to sit– directly next to him, of course, the only acceptable place.

“Get your stinky butt off my couch,” you finally made your presence known and handed him the spare shirt and shorts, nudging his feet off your coffee table to sit beside him.

Changbin didn’t retort, simply following your order and standing. He decided to make you even more flustered than you already were, his junk eye level with your face as he slipped the shorts on. You loved his little tummy, finding it cute how he lightly rubbed it after putting on the shirt and sitting down again. “Thank you,” he mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. You picked up the glass of wine and tipped it towards him, “thank you.”

Silence, patchouli, and a hint of petrichor wafted through the room. When you shivered, Changbin set down his drink to reach both arms around either side of you, draping the earlier placed blanket over your shoulders. His touch lingered on the tops of your hands for a moment before retreating.

Despite the sweet moment, you couldn’t help but become more curious of what he’d stupidly mentioned earlier. “So…” Changbin’s ears perked up, “going through a dry spell?”

A pink hue covered his cheeks, “what?”

“Before… you said it was a few months ago… the last time you were with someone.” Shyly, Changbin scratched at the nape of his neck and ran his fingers through his hair. He laughed, throat dry, “y– yeah. It’s been a while. Haven’t really had the urge to… y’know… seek anyone out.”

“I think I’m the only other person in the world who knows what you mean. It’s like everyone is dating and fucking and having threesomes, yet I can’t even do my laundry without getting tired–”

“Threesomes–?”

“I don’t want to put in the work to meet someone. It’s like everyone’s idea of dating is so different, and explicitly saying you’re dating to marry is some sort of turn off.”

“Wait– go back. Threesomes?” Changbin shifted to face his body towards you, clearly invested in the idea.

Bringing your glass to your lips, you shrugged, “just some girl at work telling me about these people she met. Said it was insane and mind blowing. Good for her, I just didn’t need to know so many details.” His mouth was dropped, tongue practically hanging out of his mouth. The brief mention of anything relatively sexual coming out of your mouth made Changbin’s mind immediately fall deep into the gutter. He couldn’t stop himself from imagining that there were two of you, each touching different parts of his body and covering him in your lipstick stains–

Jesus, get it together, Changbin shook his head and blankly stared at the television.

“Did you hear the part I said about dating? The more important part?” You waved your hand in front of his face. “Yeah, I heard,” he caught your hand in his and held on. His skin was warm, soft against your own. Both pairs of eyes caught the gentle nature of his grip, disbelief expressions littering your faces at the audacity to hold on for much longer than necessary, longer than he ever had before.

You let out a small breath, unsure of how to feel as he brought your hand down to the side of his thigh and leaving it there. Just your fingers rested on the muscle, feeling him flex under your touch. With a sly grin, Changbin pulled the TV remote from behind him and pointed it towards the screen, “think we can finish the last few episodes? Or will you fall asleep again?”

The rest of the night went by much too quickly, only because you had, indeed, fallen asleep. To be fair, even though you’d only had a bit of wine, it was still enough to make you tired. That on top of the already tiring day you had and Changbin cozying up next to you, how could you not? You’d woken up later the next day in your bed, tucked in with a bottle of water on your bedside table and a note next to it. Fucking gentleman. Changbin had to leave for work but wrote that he’d made some coffee and didn’t want to wake you. He didn’t fail to mention that it was only thirty minutes into the episode that you’d passed out, but the gesture was still cute.

You went about your day as normal as possible, doing chores and whatnot, even texting Changbin a thank you for not watching the show without you, to which he said he did but he’d rewatch it if you promised to stay awake next time. It was so hard not to smile as you read his messages, seeing the chat bubble on his end immediately appearing with every text you sent. So many butterflies, the only way you knew to contain them was to bury yourself in work. That’s what you did for hours, only stopping to take breaks to eat and use the bathroom. An upside of today, your period stopped.

Changbin doesn’t have such a productive day as you, little to his knowledge. He went to work, got into the studio and sat down with his pen and paper and didn’t write a single thing. Not a damn thing. His mind was overly consumed with the thought of you. No way he was ever going to admit to anyone that he spent a good amount of time this morning just watching you sleep. It sounds creepy as he thinks back on it, but he was mesmerized. Knowing the stress you carried on your shoulders and being given the privilege of seeing you so… at peace. Changbin loved every second of it to the point he just swiveled around in circles daydreaming as soon as he stepped foot in the studio. All the members stopped by at one point during the day to say hello and Changbin was sitting in the same position every time, until Jisung had finally took hold of Changbin’s chair and rolled him out into the hallway so the younger could use the room. “Stop marinating in your own self pity. Can’t take looking at your gross, lovesick face anymore.” Jisung had said, slamming the door in Changbin’s face when he went to curse him out. To be fair, it could’ve been the best or worst advice ever. Either way, it finally got Changbin to leave work.

He didn’t know where his feet were carrying him, just that he wanted to lay down and not think anymore. It wasn’t until he was outside your building again that he felt absolutely like going insane. There were so many pent up emotions swirling about inside him and as good as he is with words, this was something he couldn’t articulate. Mixtures of saccharine chaos and patchouli scented whimsicality fills his nose every time he so much as thinks of your name, these specific things so deeply rooted in his association with you. Everywhere he looks, there you are.

As nighttime rolls around, you’re able to comfortably lay in bed without the fear of staining your sheets. That’s exactly what you do, phone in hand and ready to call it a night. You had been laid down for maybe five minutes when loud knocks rapped against your door. Getting up with a groan, you walked out and opened the door, finding a very disgruntled looking Changbin pawing at the roots of his hair. Before you’d gotten the chance to ask why he was here, he pushed past you and kicked his shoes off, pacing back and forth in your living room.

“Don’t speak a single word because there’s something I have to say and if I don’t say it now, I don’t think I ever will. Understand?” Shutting the door, you looked at him and waited for him to continue. “Say something!”

“You told me not to!”

“Say you understand!”

“I understand.”

“You don’t understand!” You moved slowly further into the room, feeling Changbin growing more and more skittish with every step. As you came face to face with him, he put his hands on your shoulders and led you to the couch, sitting you down while he still stood. “You don’t understand how frustrating it is to be around you.” The words made you flinch back, “no, no! I mean, I love being around you. It’s the highlight of my week! But dear fucking god, Y/N. You are the blindest person I know.”

“I don’t–”

“Shut up! Let me finish,” he stayed a few steps in front of you, practically spinning in circles with how quickly he strode in anxiety. Raising your eyebrows, you waited. Changbin took in a deep breath, “You’re so infuriatingly oblivious that it makes me wanna rip my hair out. You can never stay awake long enough to make it to the good part of the show, we’ve been stuck on the same season for the past month! And you never finish your wine! You always fall asleep on me and I never tell you how you drool on my shoulder because I don’t wanna embarrass you. Why don’t you lock the bathroom door?!”

“Should I be defending myself right now?”

“And you can’t follow directions to save your goddamn life! But for fuck’s sake, I hate being away from you.” A small hum of confusion and a head tilt, you genuinely couldn’t think of anything to say. What the fuck was he talking about?

“I spent the entire day with you doing absolutely nothing but watching paint dry and it was one of the best days of my life. Every day with you is the best day of my life even if it’s for just a few minutes. Can’t you see?” Changbin exhaled deeply and came in front of you, dropping to his knees. He took both your hands from your lap and made you cup his full cheeks, staring deep into your eyes. “See me.”

Thousands of thoughts and millions of emotions filled you from head to toe, almost vibrating overwhelmed. You couldn’t believe your current predicament, here was the manliest man you know on his knees in front of you, for you, begging you to do the one thing you’ve been doing for god knows how long.

Involuntarily your lip pouted at the fading adrenaline induced confidence in Changbin’s demeanor, his hands slowly slipping from atop your own that held you in place. Feeling you getting a better grip, his breath hitched in his throat. You held his cheeks so firmly that his lips puckered. “You’re all I’ve ever seen.”

The sheer force of which Changbin sat up to meet your lips would’ve sent you toppling back if you didn’t find yourself falling into him with equal weight. Butterflies, sparks, that feeling, you felt illiterate. It was just right.

He did nothing but slot against you in a frenzied yet calculated rhythm, finding comfort in the way your lips fit so perfectly against his. Large palms slid from your hands up your arms and back down your torso, only to settle on your hips and tug you closer. Changbin fit himself between your knees and made sure to have you flush against him as he kneaded the pajama covered flesh of your ass. You didn’t expect him to heave you up and carry you towards your bedroom, squealing as you were dropped onto the mattress.

“What am I gonna do with you?” He muttered, kneeling onto the bed while tossing his shirt to the floor. Daunting Changbin was, a new flame behind his eyes that made you cower until your back hit the headrest. “Don’t run away from me. I’ve waited so long already.” He caught your ankles and you were dragged towards him again, belly up at his mercy.

His lips had a hard time parting from yours even as he stripped you naked, all done with a smitten smirk which you could feel within every kiss. A sense of security washed through you as his hands roamed anywhere and everywhere, firmly caressing any plump inch of skin he could find. Changbin took a particular liking in the curve of your hips and ass, loving how delicately supple your skin was. He kneaded it like a cat, moaning into your mouth as you squeezed the muscles of his pecs.

Then his hands traveled down, hiking your knees around his torso and feeling the wetness of your arousal. His thick fingers slid through your pussy so easily, slick echoing lewdly and only adding to the adulterous scene. He didn’t look away from your glistening folds, flat out staring with all intents and purposes and making your face heat up. With a pout on your lips, “stop looking at it like that. You’re making me shy.”

Changbin’s head fell back in a mocking chuckle, “shy? Please, not my fault you have such a pretty pussy.” He kissed you again before you could feel any more flustered.

It was impossible to feel anything of the sort when he whispered sweet nothings every chance he got. Every break of your lips Changbin took the opportunity to mumble something he loved about you that you didn’t even realize about yourself, “always smell so good, sometimes I spray your perfume on my clothes when you’re not looking. Always wanted to pull your hair, maybe that’ll be a little treat for next time. These hips? Oh my god, wanna just eat you whole.” He bit loving marks from your neck down your chest and trailing further until he came to the skin just below your belly button. There was where he left an abundance of bruises, turning varying hues of purples and reds to line the expanse of the area. It was like your own personalized garment, customized by him made just for you. Changbin didn’t leave your hips unattended, decorating the hinge where your thighs met your hips just the same.

Your cunt was throbbing now, so incredibly turned on but growing too impatient for your own good. As much as you appreciated his thoroughness, it was getting harder not to simply cry at the need that made your stomach churn. Threading your fingers through his hair got his attention, making his eyes meet yours from between your legs. Wordlessly you used your other hand and spread the lips of your pussy with two fingers, inviting.

He took a single long, fat lick up the center of your entrance. The warmth made you cry out for more but Changbin pulled away, refocusing his attention on the backs of your thighs and pushing your knees to your chest. Like reading your mind, he replaced his tongue with big fingers, inserting just one as he munched on the flesh of your legs. Thumbing at your clit and one digit inside you was almost torturous, he was teasing you by being so close to what you wanted, just not quite there.

“Bin, please. Your mouth–”

“Nuh uh. Let me play, princess. We’ll have plenty of time for more.” Your cunt clenched at the prospect of more with him. More rendezvous, more kissing, touching, feeling him in ways you’d only imagined.

Not long did it take for him to decorate your thighs as well, painting a pretty picture like you were a canvas. What you didn’t see was that he’d been touching himself this entire time, slowly stroking his heavy cock and leaking more precum every time you whimpered. When his thumb swiped rather hard at your bundle of nerves and you whined, Changbin almost came in his hand. He couldn’t take it anymore, deciding that he’d rather die than let your first time together go to waste in his palm.

Unexpectedly he dove into your pussy and gave it one good hard suck, for a moment he recalculated even fucking you because of how sweet you tasted and knowing he’d blow if he truly went to town, but he loved seeing the splotches on your body. It made his skin tingle and feel almost feral, your unblemished skin covered in marks he created. With your taste on his tongue, he quickly came back up to kiss your lips, swallowing your moans as your own arousal filled your senses. “Wanna see your face when I fuck you,” he groaned, taking your knees and starting to maneuver them to fall to one side.

“Wait, wait,” you pushed his chest back. Changbin looked at you, concerned. “I’m clean–”

“Me too. Got tested right after–”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“Then?” The worry in his eyes slightly overshadowed the lust, but just for a second because you broke out into an abashed smile and covered your face with your hands. “Don’t laugh at me,” you muttered and Changbin stole your hands into his.

“Never at you, only with you,” he giggled, too.

You tapped his chest so he could sit up. When you had the space, you tipped your knees to the side and let your spine relax, pops of your back cracking made the two of you break into an unfiltered, obnoxious fit of laughter. Then you twisted to do the other side, only making both of you laugh harder. Changbin huddled over into your chest, trying his best not to suffocate you with his weight. “I said don’t laugh!”

“I can’t help it!” He moved up to hide his face in your neck. “That was the cutest thing I've ever seen.” He composed himself enough to plant reassuring kisses to the junction and lean back again. Still on your back, he towered over you and reached down to brush your hair from your face. Warmth spread throughout your body as he just looked at you, nothing sexual of the nature whatsoever, admiring.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you have a staring problem,” you whispered, gazing at him exactly the way he was at you.

“Only for you,” he pinched your cheek then distracted you with another kiss before continuing to lay your knees to one side of your body.

Taking your hand in his, Changbin aligned his cock with your entrance and pushed in, your nails digging into the top of his hand as he did so. Gently he came to become fully sheathed within your walls, patiently waiting for you to adjust. His free hand ran over the deepening blemishes on the back of your thigh, a proud smirk on his face. Your cunt clenched and he shivered, “more, please.”

He used the hand on your thigh to push your knees harder into the bed and your back popped on last time. When you both laughed, your walls constricted around his dick tightly and stuttered his laughter into a moan, toppling on top of you. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, don’t do that! I’ll cum!” Changbin’s voice still filled with giggles.

Even if the two of you were nowhere near as intense as you should’ve been, the moment was still enjoyable all the same, just in a different way. There was no forced intimacy or awkwardness that came with seeing someone naked for the first time, only comfort and warmth and smiling until your cheeks hurt.

Changbin loved the sight of you stuffed full of him, covered in his marks. That made his brain flip from zero to one hundred, glaring at your pussy and mockingly tilting his head. Oh, he wanted to take a picture of you, pretty in all your glory and creaming around his cock. Every bit of you was on fire, only getting hotter with the sweet praises he was singing for you. “Pussy like heaven, fuck– have I died? So, so good.

“You’re so beautiful like this, wish I could tattoo you with my name. Wouldn’t that be cute, baby? Would you want me to do that? Cover you with pretty words while you cum all over my cock?” Your pussy pulsated at the idea, imagining Changbin writing obscene things all over your body. It’s one thing to him to be saying these things, but having them in writing, his writing, that was something else entirely and it turned you on to no end.

“Oh, you do like that. So dirty, princess. Tell me, what else do you want?” He kept his thrusts slow and deep, working you up much too leisurely that you were on the verge of crying. Changbin could see the tears welling in your eyes, smiling and teasingly tapping the underside of your chin again. “Don’t cry, baby. I’ll give you whatever you want, just tell me.”

Even if it was obvious what you wanted, he was still making you work for it. You reached down to pull your ass cheek up, spreading your pussy lips wider for his viewing pleasure. Changbin groaned, deep from within his chest and his eyes rolled back. “Wanna cum,” you mumbled, fingernails raking over the deep bruises over the backs of your thighs.

“Am I not doing good enough, princess? Need more?” That wasn’t necessarily what you were saying, but it was his way of working himself up even more than he already was. All you did was whine and nod your head, feeling so much at once. “Okay, okay, I’ll give you more.”

His hips picked up speed, skin slapping skin ringing throughout the room. Changbin picked up your top leg and held it in the air to let him fall deeper into you while the other kept a handful of your ass. His fingers dug into you, pulling at the skin to use as leverage to slam harder into your cunt. As you moaned incoherently and arched into the sheets, Changbin leaned over your body and fell into short staccatos of thrusts, keeping your sweet spot from feeling lonely for too long. You weren’t thinking about anything except the building heat in your stomach that only got hotter when you felt his lips attach to your neck, nudging your face to the side for more access. The feeling of his teeth nipping at your sensitive skin made you shiver.

“Better, princess? You’re loving this, aren’t you? Just laying there being pretty and taking everything I give you. Who trained you this well?” You shook your head, no, unable to fully process his words. “No one? I knew you were naturally perfect. Perfect pussy, fits me like a fucking glove.”

You were so close, his words doing you in more and more as he kept running his mouth. Changbin was in the same state as you were except he was unable to stop talking, saying everything he felt as he felt it like a broken record. But you loved it, and loved how easily he could make you melt. The building lava in your gut just needed a little more of a push to flood, you grabbed Changbin by the neck and met his lips while raking your nails through his hair. The way he moaned into your mouth was more than enough ear candy to make your orgasm hit you, hard and for so fucking long.

Changbin tried to fuck you through it, but your cunt had a vice grip as you clenched and convulsed around him, eventually milking him to completion just the same. Of course a guy who hadn’t felt the warmth of another person for so long would have a lot of cum to give, but he was on a whole other level. His orgasm was just as long as yours and filled you to the very, very brim with his seed, spilling out the sides of where his cock kept you plugged.

Sweaty bodies on top of one another, fluids drenching various places, heavy breaths filling the room, there was no place he’d rather be as Changbin’s head finally cleared. Post nut clarity, you were positively glowing, radiance embodied in his eyes as he watched your eyes flutter open and brush your hair from your face. Changbin peppered your cheeks with kisses, causing you to giggle and hold him closer, but he accidentally moved too fast and made you wince as his softening cock shifted. He told you to hold still as he went as gently as he could to remove himself, awestruck at his cum soiling your pussy. He’d almost raised a mass again, but looked away before he could.

Stealing a random shirt off the floor, he wiped away the residue and tossed it aside again to flop on the bed next to you. His arms wrapped around your neck, muscles almost suffocating you in the warmest way. Legs tangled, heart beats easing, you were close to falling asleep again.

“Do I really drool?” Your voice was muffled by the soft skin of his pecs, slightly nuzzling your face tighter into them.

Changbin froze for a second before lightly chuckling, “no, of course not, princess. I was joking.” Hearing the slight sarcasm in his voice, you whined and attempted to free yourself, though that was impossible with the headlock he had you in. Changbin wrangled you into staying still, kissing the top of your head and tightening his arms, “okay, you do. But it’s okay! I love being covered in your spit.”

He playfully licked your cheek as you tried to protest, kissing you more to ultimately shutting you up and fall victim to his body heat, and Changbin’s head was empty, entirely empty. Nothing left but tender touches, patchouli, and wondering how the hell neither of you realized that this was where you were supposed to be.

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu

#stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #skz smut #stray kids changbin #skz changbin #changbin smut #seo changbin smut #changbin x reader #changbin x yn #changbin x you #seo changbin #softdom!changbin #softdom!changbin x reader #skz ff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #changbin fluff

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paintingwhiteceilings · 6 months

Text

❃How EXO acts around their crush❃

a/n: This is 10000% just for my own pleasure. I may have had this in my drafts for weeks... I am totally okay with all the Kyungsoo solo content and EXO ladder dropping. Totally. Super functional, delusional who?

ALSO to any EXO-L that are sharing Chen's LEAKED wedding photos. Please be respectful and either delete them or, at the very least, blur out his wife's face. Chen has gone to great lengths to safeguard her privacy, as she is not famous nor wants to be in the spotlight. Not to mention that there could be crazy sasaengs out there with ill intent. Sharing her info is basically doxing, and it is insane to me how many people shared these posts without much thought. Anyway, I needed to share my frustrations.

Xiumin/Minseok:

✾ He is a lot shyer than the other members; where most of EXO probably feels comfortable enough to act on their crushes, he is a bit more reserved. He wants to test the waters first, ascertaining whether the feeling is mutual. Whenever you are around and are talking to other people, he sits back silently, observing your reactions.

�� Xiumin is smiling so widely around you that the other members worry that his muscles might start cramping up soon. The moment he sees you, his bubbly personality starts to really shine through, and sometimes you can't help but wonder whether this man truly is 33.

✾ That being said, from the moment that anyone offers Xiumin a couple of drinks, his confidence spikes, and he will start flirting with you. His flirting is still extremely sweet and cute; Xiumin can be incredibly charming when he wants to be.

Suho/Junmyeon

✾ He is such a gentleman around you, trying to make you feel at ease with his kind gestures. Whether it is him pulling back a chair or opening a door for you, he will do anything to make you feel like a princess.

✾ Being one of EXO's proud black card owners, he will casually buy you whatever you need. He keeps repeating that he wants to treat his friends when you try to interject. You can't completely refute it; he does spend a lot of money on the members. Yet, you can't help but feel like his gifts are slightly too expensive and excessive for 'just friends'.

✾ So. Many. Soft. Glances. Suho looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars; you catch him staring at you almost every time you look over. Conversations with him can, therefore, be a tad awkward. He doesn't always register what you are saying; he is so absorbed in watching you that he forgets to listen.

✾ The other members relentlessly tease him for it. If you don't catch on based on Suho's actions, you will definitely catch on due to his members' relentless teasing. Whenever he does anything remotely romantic around you, their faces light up like Christmas came early. The members are not subtle about it whatsoever, thoroughly enjoying putting their leader in a slightly uncomfortable position.

Baekhyun:

✾ The members didn't think it was possible, but Baekhyun somehow became louder. It is as if he wants to draw your attention simply by screaming, as he no longer has any volume control when you are around. Everyone can hear your conversation from across the room, and his laughter becomes borderline obnoxious as it overpowers any other sound.

✾ He is such a tease and a suggestive one at that. Considering he has no problem revealing intimate, not suitable to be aired on national TV, details about the members' bodies, he won't have any trouble suggestively flirting with you. Where Xiumin's pick-up lines are cute, Baekhyun's are far from it. Give this man some holy water, Jesus.

✾ He is so intense with his flirting that it sometimes crosses the line of sexy to parody, coming off as a joke. Baekyhyun has a very flirty personality and isn't above flirting with his friends. Even though he isn't subtle about his crush, he can accidentally fall into the "he flirts with everyone" category, making you question whether he genuinely likes you or is just being friendly.

✾ He really enjoys the chase when it comes to relationships. Thus, it will take him quite some time before he asks you out, simply because he likes the push-and-pull game.

Chanyeol

✾ There is nothing subtle about Mr. Park Chanyeol. The moment he sees someone he wants to date, he is going for it full steam ahead. Puppy Chanyeol is momentarily retired as he makes his way over to you; Chanyeol knows that he is handsome and sexy, and he is ready to show it to you. I hope you weren't interested in anyone else because the moment you return any of his interest, he will be flirting with you like there is no tomorrow.

✾ Internally, he is so excited to be talking to you, and sometimes, you will see glimpses of his cute puppy-like persona, especially once he feels like you are just as interested. Still, the words coming out of this man's mouth, Jesus part two. Please go and ask Baekyhun to pass the holy water.

✾ That being said, he will get embarrassed when the other members are around or slightly bashful when you return his flirting at full force. I don't think Chanyeol is used to anyone sharing his level of intensity, so once you do, he gets a bit flustered. He absolutely loves it, though. Your compliments got him grinning from ear to ear.

D.O./Kyungsoo

✾ Don't get me wrong, I adore this man to a delusional extent, but he is absolutely hopeless when it comes to communicating with his crush. He won't go anywhere near you if he can't help it; he prefers looking at you from afar. He is someone who favours being approached first over approaching you himself. It isn't that he doesn't want to talk to you; he simply isn't the type of person to initiate contact with his crush and tends to stay back when he can tell that someone else is interested, too.

✾ Even if he finds himself near you, don't expect him to have a full-blown conversation with you. He already tends to be a man of little words, but when it comes to you, he is a man of not a single word. Being around you is enough to make him happy; he doesn't really need to have a deep conversation.

✾ Nevertheless, his actions make more than up for it. He is such a gentleman, being the definition of preferential treatment. You don't have a chair to sit on? He will quietly offer you his. Your sweater got caught on something? He will silently help you get it out. Although he may not say much to you, he communicates his feelings through his actions.

Kai/Jongin

✾ If you think Xiumin or Kyungsoo are shy, you have not yet met Kai with a crush. He turns into absolute mush the moment he sees you, giggling and blushing whenever you do as much as breathing. You can't even see him because he has resorted to hiding behind the other members, preferably Sehun or Chanyeol, as they are tall enough to obscure him completely.

✾ If he somehow musters up the courage to talk to you, good luck having it go anywhere because he can barely make it through a sentence without giggling. It is obvious to everyone around him that he is smitten with you; his laughs are awkwardly loud, and his eyes are literally shooting hearts.

✾ The moment he manages to ask you to dance, his shy demeanour completely changes. His movement… His expressions… The way he is smirking at you… Maybe you should go and ask Chanyeol whether there is anything left of the holy water he borrowed from Baekyhun.

Sehun

✾ He has one of two ways of acting around his crush: either he acts super bratty or becomes painfully shy. It depends on whether he has met and talked to you before. But, if you are complete strangers, he would be so quiet, hiding in the furthest corner he can find.

✾ He will pester the members to go over and collect as much information as they can about you. They will do it because he will whine the entire night about it if they don't and, repeat with me, what Sehun wants, Sehun gets. The members try to convince Sehun to go talk to you himself, but Sehun stubbornly refuses. Bro will be playing the Maknae card harder than he ever has in his entire life.

✾ In the end, he will drag Suho with him, trying to 'casually' strike up a conversation with you. The small talk is painful, and in all honesty, Suho, with his dad jokes, isn't helping in the slightest. At the very least, it provides the two of you with a new conversational topic: the teasing of Suho.

masterlist

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kenphobia · 6 months

Text

ARE YOU BORED YET?

"(Name), I get you like the gift and all... But you're squeezin' me too hard."

summary. ragatha with reader who has adhd

contents. possible ooc??; fluff, no general plot; ragatha's and reader's relationship dynamic is up for interpretation; it is implied that ragatha is a little bit into you; gn!reader

requested by. @caotictimmy

✦ Ragatha, being the sweet girl she is, finds herself worrying about you a lot. Especially when you go out of your way to make reckless decisions that could end up potentially harming you.

✦ She often uses your inability to stay focus to her advantage and distracts you away from any potential threat. Unless you're really motivated to do said threat, then she's out of ideas.

✦ Ragatha has a habit of taking over and standing over your shoulder to check if you're doing alright. As sweet as this can be for the first few times, it gets a little bit bothersome so you better muster up the courage to tell her if you happen to be the type to not say anything.

✦ If you happen to interrupt her mid dialogue, she'll just stand or sit there and listen to you talk. She doesn't really mind and as long as you look happy talking about whatever topic you brought up, then it's a good enough apology for her.

✦ In cases where you forget something in your room or misplace something, Ragatha's there to accompany and help you look for that lost item.

✦ "It'll be our own adventure! That'd be more fun than just standing around here, right?"

✦ Feeling restless? She'll hold your hand firmly and squeeze it every couple of minutes. You're allowed to squeeze back, of course, and it's been a little thing you guys do when one of you feels a little fidgety.

✦ Even if she doesn't exactly see herself as the right person to ask for advice (even if she is compared to the rest), she wouldn't mind helping you if you're stuck between two or more choices.

✦ When there's a special occasion that involves gift giving, you best bet Ragatha givimg you that special item you've been talking about for weeks. Usually it's homemade and while it may not be whar you exactly envisioned, the thought and hard work she put into her gift makes your heart swell.

✦ If you guys somehow obtain a device that lets you listen to music, the two of you would be playing all your favorite songs and dancing to it in your bedroom. It's a great way to let out some of your excess energy and Ragatha after all needs to let loose sometimes.

✦ To say it plainly: Ragatha cares about you a lot, whether you be her friend or lover, and her favorite kind of sound will always be your voice.

notes. this is extremely short i am sorry. i wanna writer more but i legit have no idea what it's like to have adhd depsite doing research on it. i did consult my friend who has adhd and got permission to use them as ref for this headcanon.

but ty to the requester for starting up my tdac x reader writer career <33

#ken writes！#the amazing digital circus x reader #ragatha x reader #tadc x reader

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love-hatred-stuff · 8 months

Text

»sorrowful«

genre: angst, bestfriend/soulmate!bucky

warnings: short mention of drinks, (Gabriel from part 1), mentions of physical pain through mental pain

excuse any mistakes

part 1

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

»You still haven’t talked to her?« Sam could see it in Bucky’s face the second he set foot in to this room.

He shook his head.

In all the years they’ve been friends, Sam did not once see Buck this distressed and miserable.

»She’s not talking to me anymore.« His once strong and hard voice is now hushed and faint.

It’s like he’s replaced. A drunken and lifeless soul captured his body.

»Come on. Don’t be so upset about it, just give her the space she needs and she will come back sooner or later.«

Bucky’s face contorted, knowing you probably wouldn’t.

»I am, Sam! I’m giving her so much space! But it’s been two weeks now and I can’t do it anymore. She’s found herself a new best friend, if not more than that. Gabriel is there for her now. I should find my peace with it, shouldn’t I?« He looks at Sam with tired eyes.

»I’m really sorry, man. I really thought she liked you back«

»I don’t just "like her", I love her. And she doesn’t. That’s inconvenient for me, but I can’t force her, especially when I fucked up like I did.« Bucky’s aware.

Not that you made it hard for him to understand. You didn’t even answer his texts anymore.

<><><><><>

You’ve just said goodbye to Gabriel, who brought you home after a night out with him. You two met quite a lot over the last two weeks and you could say that you’ve become really fond of him. He was good company. He’s a gentleman, a happy and charming person, someone who’s good at keeping you entertained and content.

At least for a little while. Because although you thought Gabriel was a good chance at getting over your annoying feelings, that you still had for Bucky, it just didn’t work out the way you had wanted it to. You were still always thinking of your former best friend.

And sure, he hurt you with the things he’d said to you that night, but your heart still bled for a man you wasn’t supposed to love. You thought that that was finally a good reason to get some distance between you two, so you could start over and forget about him for a little bit.

You were tired of being so intimidated by feeling all those butterflies in your stomach when he was near you. Tired of feeling the constant need to feel his hands against you. Tired of wishing you could lay your lips on his and never let go.

So you felt almost relieved when he finally broke your heart. When he finally slipped. Your perfect picture of him was now damaged. You hoped it would drain your undying affection for him.

And it had worked, the slightest bit. Since you didn’t have to communicate with him for a good while, it gave you a fraction of the time you needed to make your heart forget about the power he had over you.

…

You closed your apartment door and got rid of your coat, walking into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. You had a few drinks tonight and you felt really sleepy now that Gabriel wasn’t there anymore to keep you going.

You breathed out and enjoyed the silence for a moment when a knock on your door destroyed your peace.

You frowned and wondered who it might be.

When you arrived at the front and opened up, you had to suppress a surprised gasp as you saw who was disturbing you this time of day.

»Hey- uhh- I wanted to ask if… if you got a minute for me?« His voice was small and you wouldn’t have heard him if not everything would’ve been so utterly still around you. The only thing you heard was the paper wrapped around a flower bouquet that he was holding in his calloused hands.

»What? Why? I- no! I don’t have a minute. I was just going to bed.« You shook your head in disapproval.

You weren’t ready to talk to him yet. You wanted to keep your peace for yourself for a moment longer.

»Y/n… please. I’m sorry. I just miss you and I think I’m going crazy without you. I have these voices in my head and- and they won’t calm! I can’t! Nobody could make it go away, Y/n!« As you studied his face you watched the desperation grew with each passing moment that his eyes begged you to let him inside.

»Fine.« You were upset with him but you still cared for him, so you couldn’t help but let you heart have the control over your actions.

You stepped aside for Bucky to come in. He breathed in the smell of your apartment. He missed it so much. It made his chest feel a little lighter to be near you again.

You followed him. You felt so anxious seeing him again. Feeling his body heat rise made you grow cold.

»Look-« He turned towards you suddenly, looking at you with glossy eyes.

Bucky wanted to touch and feel your skin against him so badly but he didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable. Causing his hands to shake vividly around the flowers he was still holding onto for dear life.

»I wish I could do more than apologize to you. But I’ve ran out of ideas how of to get your attention when you ignore every little thing I do. Which I don’t blame you for! I just- I thought that this was my last option. And I’m not over exaggerating when I say I think I’m going to die or at least live in constant pain if your not gonna give me another chance.« James wished he could do something to turn back time and keep his mouth shut instead of attack your feelings like he did.

»I took my jealousy out on you- And you didn’t deserve that! You deserve so much better! Better than me. If-« He paused, not believing how far his desperation was driving him to say what he was gonna say.

»If you like Gabriel, I will- I will let you two be. I just can’t stay away from you any longer. It gets so hard to breath and every single pore of mine screams at me like I’m about to burst into flames. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. Because if I don’t have you with me I’m alone. I know that you’re not something to loose.«

»Bucky, I don’t know what to say- I don’t know if I can act like nothing happened. It really stung what you said to me. I realize that it wasn’t nice of me to act the way I did when Gabriel was around. But you also could’ve been gentler. But it’s not like I want you to die-«

»For you, I would. I love you.« Bucky had been a ticking time bomb, which had now exploded. He couldn’t keep it in any longer.

»What?« Your shocked expression told him quite a lot.

<><><><><><><><><>

Heyyy

I received so many wishes for a part two, so here it is! I really hope you all like it and sorry for the little cliffhanger! I suppose that means, more is coming^^

Also; I used some references from the song “compass” from the neighborhood

Pt.3

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fic #bucky moodboards #bucky barnes #marvel imagine #sebastian stan

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 2 months

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The Rebound 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, body insecurity, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Curtis Everett

Summary: after a divorce, you try to start over.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The village talks. Anyone passing through might see Hammer Ford as a sleepy hamlet nestled amidst rolling hills. They might call it quaint, they may even mistake the whispers for wind. But the town is anything but quiet.

As loud as any tongue are their eyes. You know their names and they know yours. They watch as they pretend not to, looking for fuel for the mill.

You know that Lynette was staring at your ring finger, barren but marked with the imprint of a band. As much as you want to just forget the past, it's not quite over yet. The papers are signed but it's not sealed away. Back to square one, almost.

But there's no starting over here. There's always reminders. Familiar faces, listening ears, and loose lips. You put your head down and ignore them. It's about time you live for yourself and not anyone else.

The library drones with the noise of the ventilation and the hushed voices of those browsing the shelves. The soft click of the outdated mice on their pads and the flutter of pages fill the din. You stamp the returned books and set them on a cart.

The job isn't very much. It's never busy. Not so dully and lifeless as the years you spent at home living a lie.

You close another cover and slide the book aside. A tread squeaks and draws your gaze up. You greet the man approaching the desk as he offers a single book.

"Find everything okay?" You ask. You know him, just like everyone else. Curtis works down at the lumber mill.

"Sure," he answers as you stamp the book and write in the due date. Everything in Hammer Ford is antiquated and dead.

"Alright, three weeks," you say as he offers his library card. You key it in with his name and the call number into the old PC. He watches silently and you hand back the book. He accepts it with a soft thanks.

"It's a good one," you say.

"Hm," he furrows his brow before looking down at the book in his hand.

"Yeah, I read all his stuff when... well, I had a phase," you shrug, "anyways, have a good day. Sorry."

He pauses and considers the book, "I read at the yard. On my lunch."

You're surprised. You don't know much about Curtis, no one does, but he's never been very talkative. You don't even know why you tried.

"Hard work," you comment, "lot easier than this place."

"Eh," he claps the book in his hand and looks away, "well, have a good night."

"You too," you echo back.

You watch him go and don't think much more of it. You assume it's the same pity everyone else treats you with. Your husband left you and now you're working in the library, living in your sister's basement, and all alone. Compared to your ex, you're not exactly thriving.

And who wouldn't feel bad for you? You're over the hill, you're used, and you have a bit too much love in your handles. You feel bad for yourself.

You huff and carry on sorting books. No use dwelling on it all. You're no one's problem but your own now so it's up to you to do something about it.

🌲

On your day off, you wake up at the same time. You're already conditioned to working hours. You have your coffee on the small sofa and watch the local news. Not anything exciting.

This is the first day of your new life. You made up your mind as you lay sleepless at midnight. You're going to make a change.

So, you put on a pair of sweats and a loose tee and that ratty old pair of sneakers you've worn to tatters. It isn't a big leap forward but it's a start. Just a walk. You'll make an effort to go every day, after work during the week, and in the mornings on the weekends.

And the food. You have to rein that in. Just a little less pie and no sugar in your coffee. A decade of bad habits won't be put to rest in a single day but you'll at least try.

You leave out the basement door, mindful not to make too much noise as you do. You woke up your sister's kids once and haven't heard the end of it. You put in your wired earbuds and hook the tiny mp3 player to your waistband. You don't even think they make these things anymore.

You head off down the country road, hills sprawling before you. Just up the rise and you'll turn off into the woods. There's a walking trail that circles back around near Mr. Howland's. It should be too far.

You're proven wrong as you're breathless by the time you reach the treeline. You slow and find a stump to sit on just a few feet down the path. You fan yourself and mourn your own thoughtlessness. You should've brought water.

You get up and stretch your legs, already tired from the walk. You press on. You'll feel even more rotten if you turn back now.

You follow the winding trail around the trees and through the brush. Twigs snap under your soles with a peculiar echo. Critters rustle in the leaves and scurry into burrows. The sunlight shifts above as a shadow ripples over you.

You turn suddenly and look around, paranoid. It could be a bear but they don't often show themselves. Nothing. You're being stupid.

You turn up the music and fall back into step. You see the clearing just ahead and Mr. Howland's rotting shed. Halfway there. You don't think you'll be doing much more when you get home. You might just have a nap.

#series #au #curtis everett #dark curtis everett #dark!curtis everett #curtis everett x reader #snowpiercer #drabble #backwoods au #the rebound

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loveyourownsmiilee · 1 year

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Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.12

How is everyone?!? Did we all survive?!? I know for a damn fact that this episode was such a long time coming and it was done so well. We were so well fed this episode and I don’t think I’m going to get over all the Buddie goodness we got. It really does show that they’re slowly working their way towards Buddie becoming canon and I for one am so thrilled by it! There’s a lot to discuss about these two tonight, so I’m just going to get right into it.

Maddie Buckley’s Brigade

I love me some good ole Buckley siblings content! It was so nice to see Maddie fussing over her little brother especially since he is alive and well enough for her to fuss over. These scenes were definitely needed in tonight’s episode because of one reason and one reason only and that is to highlight the massive difference in how Buck is around the other people in his life and how he is around Eddie.

When Maddie is fussing over her little brother, cooking him food and whatnot, he reassures her that he “Is fine”. We all know when we tell people we’re fine that we are not in fact fine lol. His sister doesn’t believe him but she leaves him be because she knows he can be a stubborn bull. So she starts sending in reinforcements because she wants her brother to know he is loved and cared for, which is honestly such a beautiful gesture.

Before we get to Buck’s other sister, we see Buck laying on his new couch that his mother must’ve chosen for him. It’s so important to focus on how stiffly he’s laying down. You see him mentally trying to calm himself down by taking in deep breaths but the discomfort is clear as day on his face. He can’t fall asleep because he can’t relax on the damn thing. Thankfully he is saved when he hears someone knocking, ok pounding, his door.

I really love what they’ve done with Hen and Buck’s friendship this season. They’ve almost cemented them as this close brother-sister pairing because Buck needed someone who isn’t Eddie, to rely on for certain things. And I think, as I’ve mentioned in my previous metas, that this friendship will be great help to Buck when he has other things that he’ll be trying to work through in the near future. The key difference is that Hen is actually viewed as a best friend to Buck, as you can see how fondly but friendly he looks at her speaking. He’s not actually making eye contact but basking in Hen’s voice, even if he’s a tad bit exasperated. This is such a huge difference to how he looks at Eddie later on in the episode, which is exactly why I wanted to include it here.

Hen, just like Maddie, is concerned over Buck’s well-being and asks him about his visit with his cardiologist. Once again, he tries to reassure Hen but doesn’t sound convincing. He’s avoiding eye contact which indicates him keeping his true feelings from her and I think Hen knows that he’s not really being honest with her.

H: You think it’s gonna be bad news?

B: Thats the thing, I don’t uh, I don’t know. I mean I really do, I uh feel fine.

H: But?

B: But I also felt pretty good right before I got struck by lightning.

Now just to refresh everyone’s memory (as if anyone can even forget) what exactly happened right before he got up on that ladder?!?! Oh yeah of course, Eddie calling him cowboy in that cute flirty way he does. Coincidentally that was also the very first thing Buck remembered when he woke up in his coma dream. He looked back at Eddie and that was the last thing he really saw, the thing that made him feel pretty good before he got struck. This just further confirms that Eddie is always on Buck’s mind, even if it’s not the most obvious thing. Hen probably didn’t know what he was talking about and sure he could be talking about anything really. But the fact that Eddie said that to him, and that was the first thing he remembered in his coma tells me that it made a definite lasting impression on Buck.

Buck Runs To His Safe Place, Eddie

I will never be over this scene. There’s just so much goodness that came from Buck running to the one person he knows will be there to welcome him with open arms at any given time. The one person who he can be his true self with. As Buck once told Eddie, “You don’t have to pretend with me.” Well Eddie is the only person Buck doesn’t have to pretend with either which is why we had those scenes with everyone else checking in with Buck to show how different things are with Eddie.

First of all, Buck went to Eddie. Eddie has been giving him space and knows that Buck knows he can come to Eddie at any given time. I love how the moment Eddie opens the door and sees Buck, we get that soft little smile that is only meant for Buck. The little breath he lets out shows how immediately calm he is upon seeing Buck. His entire demeanor changes really in a split second. This is literally the definition of a man who’s at least a little bit in love.

The way Buck just walks in and immediately goes to Eddie couch, puts his shoe clad feet up on the table, and gets comfortable really does drive home the whole “This is Eddie’s house. I’m not really a guest” thing. And the fact that Eddie just lets him do as he pleases because he also knows that this is a safe place for Buck, really proves how close these two are. People can complain all they want about the lack of Buddie scenes. But the quality scenes, like tonight’s, really do tell us that these two are something else. They’re not just your average best friends and it’s further shown when Eddie just lets Buck be.

E: Hey.

B: Please don’t ask me how I am.

E: Okay. You want a beer?

B: Probably more than one.

E: Guess all that company must’ve wore you out.

This exchange just shows that there is never a moment in which Eddie tells Buck no. He just accepts him for who he is and doesn’t ever push him. Buck tells him not to ask how he’s doing, Eddie just takes it for what it is and agrees. This is a great example of a strong partnership. They just know each other so well that nothing needs to be questioned. You just are there for your partner and be what they need you to be in that moment, something that Eddie did in that scene. He also proves that Buck and Eddie talk and discuss things. Eddie knew that Buck had a lot of visitors. Sure he could’ve known that from Maddie but we know from previous episodes that these two always talk and know things about the other that their other friends don’t know.

It’s very interesting that this episode was written by Andrew, who also wrote 6.01. We see the Genuine brand beer they were drinking during their family dinner in 6.01. And he was the brilliant mastermind behind the whole couch metaphor!! Literally as Eddie is coming back with the beers, he sees Buck comfortably sleeping on his couch!! Buck, who had to mentally prep himself to sleep on the couch in his own loft, fell asleep on Eddie’s old couch within seconds of sitting down. That’s because of the level of trust that’s there. He trusts Eddie and knows that he can just fall asleep in his presence and know that he’ll be safe the entire time. It’s also the familiarity of the couch that made it easy for him to fall asleep on. He’s slept on it many times before and it’s familiar to him. It’s his couch!!!

I think one of Eddie’s love languages is acts of service because you can see him opening up the beer bottle that he was going to give to Buck before he sees him asleep. He knows Buck is capable of opening a bottle himself, but it’s the small thoughtful things like that, that truly makes me crazy with how damn soft Eddie is. How damn gone he is on Buck. Also he’s so cute with the little cheers thing. It reminds me of his whole “Go team” in 4.12 😂

Lastly, the final scene where the camera pans from Eddie to Buck is super important when it comes to foreshadowing what’s to come. Buck is laid there asleep, but he has his left arm hung on the back of the couch. The way this is framed shows that there’s meant to be someone that fits right underneath that arm. Someone who’s going to fit there perfectly. I think this is foreshadowing the end of this season where he finally realizes who his perfect couch is and how it’s been there this entire time, right underneath his nose. I can just so perfectly see one of the final scenes in the finale being Buck sitting on this same couch, with Eddie right next to him. Buck’s arm is wrapped around Eddie’s shoulders and we are left with the confirmation that he finally knows who he wants. I don’t know just how exactly things will play out, but I will say the framing of that final moment definitely makes it seem like there’ll be someone there sitting next to him on that couch in the near future!

Buck and Eddie Have a Heart to Heart In The Kitchen

I cannot. I cannot. I have not recovered at all from this scene nor do I anticipate recovering from it for many months to come. I have just one word that sums it all up and that is DOMESTIC.

We get Buck waking up from his little nap and he looks around and is immediately reassured with his surroundings because it’s home to him. He immediately seeks Eddie out and finds him in the heart of the home, the kitchen. I’m still screaming about the fact that these two finally had a long awaited heart to heart in the heart of their home.

B: How did I pass out so fast?

E: You fell asleep before I got the beers out of the refrigerator.

B: Sorry.

E: No worries. You still want that beer?

B: Uh, maybe some water.

E: Agua on the way.

B: Thank you.

E: Here you go sir.

So much to unpack here. First of all we get confirmation that Buck passing out that quickly was because he just felt safe and comfortable in Eddie’s presence and his home. Eddie breaking out his Spanglish was so cute because he’s just being his silly little self and not putting on a facade in front of Buck. When he calls Buck sir, it’s meant to keep things light. Eddie knows how his partner is feeling and he doesn’t want to add more to it. So he sticks to what he knows and engages in a light tone.

Something to pay attention to is how Eddie keeps glancing over at Buck. He’s packing his son’s lunch but keeps looking over every few seconds. He does it so softly too that there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that he’s looking at him with such fondness. Now I think it’s because he’s giving Buck the space he needs to gather what he wants to say to him. But I also think he’s doing it to reassure himself that Buck is alive and well. That he’s in front of Eddie and that Eddie didn’t really lose him like he thought. Let’s all remember how horribly Eddie took Buck being in a coma. The man couldn’t even look at him when he usually can’t look away. The kitchen scene is prime example of Eddie not being able to look away once again.

As Eddie waits for Buck to say something, I don’t think he was fully prepared for the conversation they had.

B: Hey what do you remember about getting shot?

Eddie immediately looks away from Buck at the mention of the shooting. He deflects and tries to hide from Buck. He realizes just then that he can’t really run away and that he’s been working on being more open about things, especially in the presence of Buck. So Eddie tells him the truth. Well as much of it as he can without giving too much away.

E: There was this searing pain. Felt like I got hit by a bus. I was still standing. I remember falling, everything got dark.

He shakes his head while looking away from Buck, which clearly shows that he’s trying to forget about what he felt in that moment. It’s hard to relive trauma and that’s what he was doing then. But then he looks right into Buck’s eyes as he says:

E: And I thought, this is it.

He holds contact with Buck’s eyes as he continues to describe the feelings he had as he lay there dying.

E: This is the last moment of my life. Then I woke up in the hospital.

B: And that was it?

Buck is kind of questioning Eddie here because a part of him can sense that Eddie is hiding something. And he is hiding something. He’s hiding his true feelings and thoughts during the moment he got shot. He’s not fully prepared to deal with those feelings and what he realized as he was laying there fighting for his last breath. It’s all in the avoidance of eye contact as he tries to come up with a believable story. I was always under the impression that getting shot was Eddie’s “oh” moment and seeing him hiding his true feelings from that day further proves that.

E: That was it. No bright white lights, no trippy mind puzzles. Just thought I was dead and then I wasn’t.

Eddie really tries to make Buck believe the story he’s come up with but the one thing he forgets is that this is Buck. Buck is the one person who probably knows Eddie better than he does. So with Buck looking at Eddie with his brows scrunched, you know he’s not really buying what Eddie is trying to sell him. Or that he’s trying to but doesn’t quiet believe it fully. There’s so much that they’re still not discussing and I don’t know if it’s because Eddie isn’t ready to tackle those big feelings he has for Buck or if he thinks Buck isn’t ready just yet to hear them. Either way, this entire moment convinced me that Eddie is aware of what he feels for Buck and probably has been since that moment he got shot and he tried to reach for Buck. He literally wanted Buck to be the last person he sees before he made his peace with death. Just like how Eddie was the last thing on Buck’s mind before he died after the lightning strike. Such delicious deliberate choices are continuously being made.

We all know how Eddie is with feelings. I will say it’s so amazing to see him opening up like this, and not running or hiding behind his son. You can clearly tell that therapy has been doing wonders for Eddie. But one thing that is still a part of him is the fact to divert attention away from him, and on to the other people, he loves and cares for, which in this instance is Buck. He was honest with Buck so then he wanted honesty in return.

E: So now am I allowed to ask how you are?

The softness and delicacy in his voice when he asks Buck this really kills me. He’s been dying to ask. We all know how much he cares about him and he had been giving Buck what he wanted. But he’s not the type to just sit there and not check in. So he asks after he himself opens up about his trauma because he can’t anymore. This is such a domestic moment between partners. I’ve seen my own parents care for each other’s well being like this. His voice is laced with utter love and you can tell he’s not teasing anymore. He genuinely wants to know and he knows that Buck will be honest with him because that’s how their relationship works.

B: Uh, honestly Eddie, I uh, I don’t know.

This is the first and only time we see Buck truly be honest about how he’s feeling. He doesn’t default to the “fine” he’s been telling everyone else. This is his Eddie, his person. He’s not going to lie to him. A wonderful parallel just in this episode was how Bobby mentions that Athena helps him feel like he’s on solid ground. Well who made Buck feel like that in this episode? Oh yes the person he literally ran to for safety 🥹 I also want to note how the way he’s looking at Eddie is literally so soft and his eyes hold so much love in them. It’s very romantic because he’s not putting on an act and he’s truly letting himself be. You can’t compare this look he’s giving Eddie to the platonic one he gave Hen earlier in the episode. This one contains so much depth and love in his eyes that really makes you rethink how these two can be platonic (they’re not).

E: You died Buck.

The sheer heartache you can hear in those three words sends chills down my body. He’s clearly still so affected by Buck dying. He can’t even look at Buck when he says that and he scrunches up his face like he’s in physical pain. And in a way, he was and still is because half of his heart died and he had to live in a world without him for 3 minutes. He was the one that brought him back to life, and we are not thinking about the effect that had on Eddie. Then he had to sit there and wait to see if he would come back to them. It’s a hard thing watching your significant other suffer in pain especially when they’re comatose and hooked up to so many machines. So there’s clearly a lot of unresolved issues that Eddie is struggling within himself because of Buck’s injury.

I found Eddie’s advice to Buck to be a work of art. He’s clearly learning from therapy and opening himself to feeling things. He’s not the same Eddie from season 3 where he told his team that Buck should be a man and men don’t cry bla bla.

E: You’re gonna feel a lot of different ways about that. Sometimes all at the same time. I found the best way to process it is to… allow yourself to feel it.

Now Eddie can be speaking about his own personal brush with death but he can also be referring to what he’s going through in that moment with how he’s dealing with the fact that Buck died. I think in this moment, the viewer can interpret it one of two ways. Because sure he could be talking about how he dealt with his own almost death, but I feel like the pain that’s etched on his face is of something a little bit more recent.

B: Which you do eventually right? You process it.

E: Everyday you open your eyes in the morning, you feel a little less surprised the world’s still there.

Some thing about the words that Eddie was saying, made me think of Lev from the happiness convention. Pair that with Buck seeking answers and reassurance from Eddie because he’s scared and we’re kinda back to him seeking answers to what makes him happy. I will say, however, that it is very refreshing to see Eddie really talk about feelings and really be there for Buck during his recovery process. That whole kitchen scene paralleled when Buck was there for Eddie’s breakdown last season and it’s honestly crazy how similar they are. Like I keep saying, deliberate choices continue to be made and it’s all slowly coming together.

Eddie and Buck Share A Cardiologist

I loved that Eddie’s cardiologist from last season was back as Buck’s. Their interaction was important because we finally see Buck not being impatient to go back to work. He’s scared and he’s being cautious and he doesn’t want to die on the job, again. It’s wonderful character development for sure.

B: Hey you um see people who’ve been through near death experiences all the time right?

Dr. S: It’s an unfortunately large percentage of my clientele.

B: What happens to them after? They just go back to their same old lives, go back to being the same old people?

Dr. S: Some do. They tell me that almost dying, makes them appreciate what they have. But for others, they’ll walk out of my office and decide to quit their job or leave their spouse. And for some reason a lot of them want to go to Italy.

The reason I want to bring this up is because once again Buck is seeking answers in other people. He’s terrified and doesn’t know what he’s meant to learn from this near death experience. I think it was deliberately done where Dr. Salazar mentions the things she does. I say this because we know Buck isn’t going to quit his job and he doesn’t have a spouse to leave. That leaves the first thing she mentions which is appreciating what he has. I think this foreshadows what’s to come for his journey in the remainder of this season. I think we’re all working towards Buck accepting the people he already has in his life and understand that he’s had the perfect couch in the form of Eddie and Chris this entire time. To further back up these claims, she continues to explain by using a water analogy. Water in which ties Buck, Eddie and Christopher together…

Dr. S: Water finds its own level. People do too. Recovery is a bumpy road, but eventually everyone finds their equilibrium.

Finding your equilibrium is basically finding that perfect balance in your life. The things that make you happy and make you feel at ease, kind of like the journey Buck has been on. It was perfect because it further foreshadows him figuring out who he needs in his life in terms of a potential life partner. Someone who levels him and we all know who that person is ☺️

Buck Tells Maddie To Stop Trying To Fix Him

I love any and all Buckley siblings’ scenes and I think it was funny how the one who is always trying to fix everything went to his sister and told her to stop trying to fix him.

The conversation between these two was eye opening because of what was being said.

M: Whatever it is you’re feeling, you don’t have to hide it.

B: When I wake up and I mean like every single time, I have this checklist now that I run in my head. Like a way to test. I’m really here…Never night in my coma dream.”

The specific word choices of not having to “hide” what he is “feeling” makes me think we’ll come to see a time where Buck tries to hide his real feelings from a certain someone. I don’t know how to explain it but that wording wouldn’t be just thrown in there if not for a later more impactful purpose.

The thing with Buck’s checklist is that it really shows how he is struggling with the aftermath of his injury. He’s living in this world scared. But the only time we didn’t see him doing a mental checklist is when he woke up at Eddie’s. He immediately knew he was alive and where he was. Didn’t struggle at all because he knew he could seek Eddie, who was only a room away. It was also nighttime. Throughout the episode, anytime anyone visited Buck or he visited someone it was during the day. He only went to Eddie’s at night. There’s got to be a reason for that checklist moment with Maddie in the end and why the fact that it was never nighttime in his coma dream was emphasized. The same coma dream in which was missing an Eddie Diaz. The same Eddie Diaz that he now wakes up to and doesn’t feel that fear he feels when he’s by himself. This show is doing something. It’s slowly starting to plant those seeds and have the Buddie tree grow by the end of this season and I really do think with everything we were given, especially in this episode, that it’s a big inevitability on these two getting together romantically. It’s only a matter of time now friends until these two idiots realize what they’ve been wanting has been in front of them this entire time! I, for one, can’t wait to see their story continue to unfold.

Once again, if you’ve read all of this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am really proud of this week’s meta and I couldn’t have done it without the lovely @aa-lionheart for all her help 💜 if you’d like to be added to my tag list for these weekly metas, please let me know here! I look forward to seeing how these next few episodes unfold with these two!!

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 speculation #911 on fox #911 meta #buddie meta #maddie buckley #hen wilson #buddie language meta

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