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#directly bringing them up again afterwards but making sure to be extra kind to each other the next day
adorascake · 3 years
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i just think that an au where namaari joins raya early on and they travel the world together for years searching for sisu would be cool.
like she wouldn’t join right away, but maybe after a year or so she and raya cross paths and when she learns what raya’s trying to do she asks to join her. she’s still a child who has some hope in her and hasn’t completely been turned into a rationalist by her mother, so she really wants to believe that they can bring sisu back and save the world. raya’s hesitant at first, but she reluctantly lets namaari tag along because she seems genuine (she definitely lays a heavy threat though about what she’ll do to namaari if namaari betrays her again). weeks, then months pass, and namaari still hasn’t betrayed her, so raya finally begins to let down her walls a little. before then, she was closed off and refused to be friendly or nice like she used to be (namaari ofc comments on this at some point like “i thought heart preached kindness and trust” and raya just responds bitterly with something like “yeah well look where that got us”), but once she starts to believe namaari can be trusted, she opens up a little, and namaari gets to see that 12 year old girl who had bonded with her over dragons again.
they become close friends, always looking out for each other and being fiercely protective of one another. they’re practically fugitives on the run because fang is always on patrol in every land, looking for their princess who just disappeared from her scouting team one day, not a trace of her to be found. if they find out namaari is with raya, and what they’re doing, shit will hit the fan, so they have to hide themselves all the time. they can’t trust anyone but one another. raya probably tells namaari at one point to change her hair to make her less recognizable, but namaari can’t go that far. she’ll change her clothes, go by a fake name if they have to go to a market or somewhere around people, but she won’t change her hair, so she results to just keeping her head covered when they’re not alone.
anyway, being all the other has and being on the run at all times, whether it’s from fang or from people from the other lands or bandits or the druun, makes them grow really close. their bond is stronger than just friends—they know one another like the back of their hands, from how the other fights to their mannerisms when they feel a certain way to their biggest fears, physical and mental. they can pretty much hold a conversation without saying a word, just exchanging looks.
as their bond grows and they get older, they start feeling...a pull toward one another. namaari is the type to run from her feelings, and raya is the type to keep quiet about hers but be totally obvious about them in her actions, so they’re literally a mess. namaari doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they’ve cultivated, and it just feels wrong that she’s caught feelings for the person she once betrayed (something she still hasn’t forgiven herself for, even though raya has). raya is terrible at hiding the way she feels (the amount of times she’s been caught staring or “accidentally” grazing her skin against namaari’s is astronomical), but she never vocalizes them, not directly anyway. namaari is perceptive and notices these things, but tells herself it has to be nothing because raya could never like her like that. raya also has herself convinced that someone like namaari could never have feelings for someone like raya—namaari is sophisticated, sharp, and organized, while raya is simply all over the place. she’s intelligent for sure, but she’s irrational at times and dives headfirst into things without thinking first. she’s overconfident and cocky and messy, so surely namaari would rather be with someone who has more class and dignity.
they dance around one another for a while, maybe a couple years even. it starts off as harmless attraction when they’re younger, both believing it’s just teenage hormones and the fact that they’re all the other has, but as time goes on, their feelings grow and blossom and become harder and harder to control. by 17, they’re in love, but neither has said a thing. maybe something dramatic like one of them getting hurt and the other having to take care of them finally brings their feelings to the surface. anyway, they eventually succumb and kiss (let’s be honest it would probably be making out lmao), and afterwards, raya asks namaari if that was all just a heat of the moment thing, or if it was genuine, and namaari asks her what she wants it to be, so raya tells her genuine, and they finally admit how they feel and enter a relationship together. really, nothing much has changed between them, they can now just openly flirt with one another and be extra touchy (touch starved babies) and kiss and,,,*cough* do other things.
the movie events are mostly the same, but this time it’s fang chasing both of them after they were spotted stealing the dragon scroll. virana doesn’t care about the scroll, but she does care about the fact that a guard recognized one of the thieves as the princess, even with her head wrapping and after all these years. they bring back sisu, meet boun and tong and noi, but maybe they’re separated in spine? namaari goes to talk to the army to try and persuade them to leave, hoping that her status as their “lost princess” will hold some ground, but unfortunately, she’s captured and taken back to fang. the others have no choice but to leave, and raya is devastated, but determined to get her back and fix things. they travel to fang, where virana claims to have namaari locked up as a traitor, and it comes to them having to hand over sisu and the dragon gem pieces for namaari. except,,,namaari comes out during the exchange, completely unharmed, and raya is locked up for “kidnapping” the princess and to keep her from trying to stop them, and sisu and the gem pieces are taken away. this betrayal ofc breaks raya’s heart, and she’s so, so confused. namaari plays up the whole “we can still be together once this is all over, but fang needs to be the land to save everyone,” bc her mother is there, but raya won’t have it and practically spits in her face out of anger. not much later, namaari returns with their friends and frees raya bc aha it was all a ploy to get fang’s gem. she would’ve informed raya of her plans, but she needed her mother to believe the betrayal, plus she had thought of them on the spot back in spine and there was little time to explain then, so she’s genuinely sorry for hurting raya like that. raya, still very much mad, does something like punch namaari in the gut (“okay, yeah, i deserve that”) before pulling her into a deep kiss. the others are like *pikachu shocked face* bc the two of them hadn’t exactly disclosed their relationship to any of their friends since it’s always been a private thing for them. sisu is just the biggest shipper and is like “i knew it!! i fucking knew it!!” anyway, there’s a big fight, sisu still dies somehow and everyone turns to stone, and the happy ending is practically the same🖤
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buglife · 3 years
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How about festivals and celebrations? Not only the regal, noble type, but the ones of common bugs too.
Here are a couple I figured out with a quick overview. I may expand on these later with illustrations or more depth depending on time and interest.
PART 1 - Pre-Infection Holidays
The Cast Off Festival: Something akin to a new years resolution. Once a year the citizens of Hallownest make an effigy of something they want to ‘cast off’ of themselves so they can improve. Example, they may make a figurine that represents self laziness or something that represents a nasty temper. Some folks may make tokens or figurines to sell that people can purchase if they cannot or don’t want to make their own. Celebrations include food and rituals indicative of purifying yourself to allow the new you to get a foothold over the old. Everyone gets together at the end of the celebration to throw said effigies into a communal fire and let the wind carry the ashes away. Just like how the Pale King cast off his previous form of a Wyrm to walk among the people and lead them to a much better existence, so too would common bugs follow that example to better themselves as well. Bugs may just have one effigy and some may have a whole box of them, the point is to give yourself a fresh new start and leave your old baggage holding you back as mere ashes. In general, it’s a very happy celebration in that you have a new chance to make the changes you want and if you have to do the same thing again next year, that’s okay. It takes time to change. The important part is that you recognize something about yourself that does need improvement and make a promise to work on it. 
Feast of Fellowship: It’s not far fetched to imagine that even after granted Sapience, some bugs that were regularly preyed upon may have lingering instincts that may make interacting with carnivorous citizens a big nerve wracking. To counter act this, there is a yearly feast where folks are encouraged to share company and food with each other to not only celebrate the bounty from the harvest, but also the fact that many different kinds of bugs worked together to produce it. Spiders, Millipedes, Flies, Moths, ect ect, can all have a feast together and enjoy each other’s company. Takes place after the biggest harvest of the year so there is an abundance of food to go around that can be eaten up fresh before they must be preserved. Entire villages would just have one communal feast where everyone can share and enjoy. In big cities, usually these are more private with friends and colleagues being invited but I wouldn’t put it past a crown funded feast for everyone in the Capital. Citizens that are happy after all, are less likely to cause any trouble when they are busy sleeping off the biggest meal of the year. Lol.
Life Festival: A celebration for those wanting to be parents, those that have children, and those that have parents they love. It’s a day of fond wishes and hopes to be able to have healthy young. Different species have children in different ways, but it all comes down to the same thing, the want to reproduce. The day is spent lighting candles and leaving little offerings in the hopes to become gravid if trying to be. It is also a day for current parents to honor their offspring and be grateful to be blessed with them. Some take this day to grieve and honor any lost children and thank them for being there, even if it was for a short amount of time. Parents to be take the nights to be ‘extra sure’ their wishes will stick, if you know what I mean ;3. It can be rather bittersweet but it is important to many people. Children, however, take the day to honor the parents that gave them life, and there’s usually gift exchanges between parents and children. In general, it’s a celebration of life given and the gratitude of it all. 
Birthdays are dependent on species and specific culture. Some celebrate when the egg actually hatches as a birthday. Some celebrate the day they emerge from their pupa an instar molt as the ‘birthday’. Still, there would be some sort of celebration where a child gets a celebration to mark another year of life. Complete with sweets and presents. It’s a big deal, as bugs before rarely made it past the nymph stage of life. It certainly is something to celebrate. 
Celebration of Flight: For flying species, where the young take their first ritual flight to mark an important moment of their development. Non flying bugs are present as well and participate by offering support to their friends and family taking their first flight without any help. 
Celebration of Weaving: For Spiders to show off their very first silk weavings and crafts and getting the praise they deserve. Primarily a Deepnest holiday. 
Celebration of ____: If a species is known for a thing, you better believe they are going to have a cellebration around it! Digging, rolling, fighting, spitting, climbing, ect ect. There’s so many different kinds of bugs!
Mate Day: Bring your mate offerings so they don’t get cranky and try to bite anyone. Especially you. You better make them feel like the most special bug in existence. 
King/Queen’s Day: Two days at different times of the year to celebrate the King and his lovely tree wife. Queen’s day is in ‘Spring’, and King’s day is ‘Winter’. Think of ‘Captain Picard Day’ in the TNG for the idea. Kids make little dolls and pictures and costumes and run around while parents buy them little King/Queen shaped sweets and participate in events run by the crown. Tours of the Palace take place in order to bring more transparency to the public. Both days would involve charity work depending on the ruler’s taste. Example, the Queen might sponsor a beatification effort by planting flowers and bushes around the kingdom and the King may just ask for groups to go around and clean up litter. Citizen bugs outside the Capital/major cities still would have their own home celebrations, perhaps just saying prayers of thanks or just cleaning around their village. Dolls and plushies are typically sold a lot and it’s not uncommon for children to have at least one doll of either the King, Queen, or both. There is a lottery where any citizen can participate, where winners may go before the Royals without having to fight through normal court to request some sort of help for either themselves or another organization. Royalty and Nobility have a separate feast afterwards, where there is a lot of ass kissing and the monarchs just want to eat their din dins and go the hell to bed please.
Day of Spirits: A day to honor and remember the dead. Offerings are set out for deceased loved ones and graves/memorials are carefully cleaned and put to order. It’s a time to remember those you love that are gone and give them honor by showing that you are continuing to live and remember them. There are usually parties where representations are included so the spirits of those gone are invited to participate in said party. It’s a day for laughter and love, not for grief. It’s said on this day the veil between the living and dead and thin, so you can directly tell your gone loved ones whatever you like and they have the greatest chance of hearing it. 
Honey Festival: All things Honey. The Hive makes SO MUCH GEO during a week long Festival. They may not be part of the Kingdom but boy howdy, does everyone love honey and wax products. 
Remembrance Days: Days to remember any well known person, such as visionaries, inventors, people who generally did a lot of good, and others. Bugs that did a lot of good for bugkind are remembered and honored in their own little celebrations. Usually it means that government offices shut down to give their workers a much needed break. 
OF COURSE: There doesn’t need to be a reason for a celebration. Dances and ‘Ho Down’ style celebrations can spring up for any reason. Some villages have their own little celebration days and all it takes is one person setting up some music and drinks and you got a party.  For moral, it’s common for there to be at least one celebration every ‘month/moon/cycle’ to keep up spirits and have at least a bit of time to relax. 
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jamestrmtx · 3 years
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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]
[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]
Chapter Seventeen | Chill
[First] | [Previous] | [Next]
Alternate Chapter Title: Rapunzel, Rapunzel
• • •
You wake up to an arm around your waist and a prominent numbness to your cheek, pressed up against a hard surface. There's the sound of the fan turned on to the highest level, providing some cold even with the thick blanket you can feel wrapped around you. The wall clock ticks by the distance and you can hear someone else's heartbeat apart from yours. 
When you open your eyes and see who's the person you're with, you jolt out of the couch, stumbling to the floor. Your glasses are at the top of the monster's skull, held up by a thin shield of magic, and kept safe from being squashed while you slept against him. You take them, slip them on, and look around to assess your surroundings better to notice he's still sleeping on the very same corner and position you both watched the movie in. Your reflection on the television allows you to view marks on your cheek for how long you stayed that way. The next thing on your mind's checking the time, making you search around for your phone and find out it's seven in the morning, an hour of delay present in your schedule. 
If it was around eight when you sat down with him and the movie lasted around two hours, you'd slept far more than necessary. Not only that, but you'd fallen asleep on the same couch as the person you were still trying to sort out your feelings for. You try to make some clearer memory of what happened after the movie ended, yet it's all clouded after the credits rolled. 
The sound of the couch creaking makes you look back to the skeleton to see he's woken up, irises looking lost for just a fraction of a second before he sees you on the floor. Amusement blooms on his face, and he comments nothing as he offers his hand to you. You take it -- albeit, warily -- taking note on how much distance you keep between him and you. 
No matter what happened yesterday, you weren't letting your guard down.
"From the looks of it," he says, grinning, "I'm guessin' you woke up first?"
You aim to reply, though you look away and let his hand go to cover up a yawn, said action helping shake your leftover grogginess aside. You take it again after, having it offered to you once more. "Yeah," you answer, sighing. "But do you… Do you remember what happened after the movie ended? My mind's all fuzzy."
He sits up straighter, tugs you off the floor, and lets go afterwards. While you're still disoriented, his face looks refreshed and his posture looks far more relaxed than you would ever expect it to be after spending so long sleeping that way: in a rigid and plain uncomfortable angle and with you weighing him down for what had to be longer than eight hours. "Sorry to break it to ya, but you fell asleep way before that, pal."
"So you just let me sleep on you the whole night?" You refuse to believe him, not only for how ridiculous that sounds, but for the hour it is, and what you had to do before going off to work. "I doubt it."
Too sudden for your liking, his expression changes from humoured to tense, and his gaze diverts from yours. "Wanna know the full truth, then?"
You nod.
He lets out a sound between a huff and a chuckle and says, "Frisk came in by the time the movie was almost over, blankets and all." His voice turns strained, and he has to take a break to recover, embarrassment found in it. "They tucked us in and left without a word, so I, uh… I didn't really know what to do after that."
Your phone alarm goes off, cutting the conversation short. You pick it up, turn it off, and fight back your curiosity over learning more about what happened last night, and just why you'd been so tired as to remember that little about it. Your work schedule was no different from usual, and you were even working less with the current weather, meaning there was no reasonable excuse for you to be defending your exhaustion. Even if you redeemed those lost hours by taking up extra shifts, and even if you were a lot more stressed with your research over monsters and deciding which ones were safe to have around Frisk, that was no reason for you to be like this.
If you were saving yourself some trouble by not needing to search for local babysitters anymore all thanks to having Toriel and other monsters around to help you with that, and if you had moments to spare like for the night spent at the hotel, then you should have more than enough time to rest.
You continue to fight back excuses with that same line of reasoning for each one and force yourself to focus on your goals. 
A knock on the door sounds, leading you to stop your inner conflict to go get it. 
Before you can even make a motion for the door though, Frisk rushes out of the hallway -- without sparing a glance at you or the monster -- and does just that, excitement clear and undoubted in their expression. They stand on their tiptoes and peek through the peephole before opening it. As soon as they do, their curious look changes for a smile. A bright gaze shows on their face and they swing the door open. They plunge the visitor into a hug, Brenda's name being called out along with it.
You're still adrift enough for your mind to take a while to process what's going on. You're not sure what to do anymore, and even less what to say in response to the sudden changes happening day-by-day. So far, you were plenty aware almost each and every monster Frisk knew had been involved one way or the other with the Royal Guard, leading to the conclusion they had all once sought after your kind.
That being said, what were you doing here, sleeping on the same couch with one of those people?
What confirmed Sans's words from yesterday were in any manner true, and what guaranteed he wouldn't go back to his former self had he the remote chance to? 
You'd fallen asleep in the arms of the same man responsible for acting as a sentry for the Underground. You'd allowed him to enter your home, and had spent a night at the same hotel room as him. Even if he hadn't fulfilled his job exactly as it was commanded to him, you were still cautious of his presence, his actions, and the knowledge he kept hidden by remaining mellow and unbothered.
He used to engage in science, yet now he's just selling hot dogs and flirting himself to dead ends with you!
"We can't let her see you," you blurt out, remembering who's visiting. "She'll lose it if she thinks I'm dating you and that you sell hot dogs for a living!" Your words are hushed, but your worries still show through -- almost exclaimed, weren't you reminding yourself to keep quiet.
The skeleton flares his nose cavity and quirks an eye socket. "That's fine with me. But how're those two even related, though?"
When you hear Frisk is ending their talk with her, you grab Sans by the arm and lead him off to the hallway with you. You open the nearest door available and push him into the room with you. The most predictable predicament possible shows up when you turn around, lie against the door, and notice it's your bedroom -- thankfully tidy for the public to see. 
"Trust me," you say, huffing, "She'll be angrier about those two things more than how that guy at the bus was with me." Feeling you need to clarify your words, you compose yourself and sit down on the middle edge of your bed, folding your hands over your lap as you fumble with your fingers. Then, you face back to the skeleton, meeting his irises. "Not that she'll be angry about who's the one I'm spending my time with, but she's just... very particular of who I let into my house after that whole thing with Jerry happened." 
"But what does my job gotta do with anything?" he asks, chuckling, "Is she the type who doesn't see those kinda jobs as real ones?"
"Not exactly," you say, shifting on your seat. "I used to live from paycheck to paycheck -- the both of us, actually." 
You breathe in deep and attempt to calm yourself down by closing your eyes for a while. Then, you sigh and open them. "She doesn't hate people with street jobs, but…" You hesitate, still needing to prepare to say the words, at least. "To quote her: 'Don't you ever dare bring someone else into this house again, unless they…" Your face is burning, yet you remind yourself it's best to be honest. If the monster had been that way with you yesterday, and if he wasn't toying around with you, you wanted to try doing the same. If he wasn't and you were exposing yourself far too much in comparison, that time would then come, and you would make sure to not trust him anymore. "They agree and prove to be a good, well..." You could drink another whole gallon of water were you to have it available right now. "...a good stepparent for Frisk."
You're still facing him directly; ironically, you can't bring yourself to look elsewhere. "She gave me that lecture a really, really long time ago, but I just can't find the courage to… to fight against that. I even wrote that day down in a journal to remind myself of my mistakes."
That seems to be enough for him to break the ice first, saying, "Your mistakes?"
"Who else's fault could it be? If I hadn't let Jerry off the hook so easily, then maybe Frisk could've been living a much better future. I… I could've given Frisk a happier life if I'd just refused to let him g-"
You cut yourself off when you notice he's sat down next to you, keeping an arm's length of distance between you. "You're worryin' too much about this." His gaze appears serious, though you don't want to take it that way, considering what you've confessed to him just now. "Maybe those first years were tough, but I'd say the kid's pretty happy now, and from the looks of Jerry, he's doing well, too. Even if he's bein' a real jealous jerk 'bout it these days." 
Too lost in your thoughts, you don't notice you're tearing up until a drop falls on your lap, sleepwear soaking it in.
"You should throw that journal away -- or at least, rip that page off." A hint of mirth mixes with his concern, and his distance is now a hand's length apart. "...Not only 'cause you've already acknowledged where things went wrong, but 'cause you're only torturing yourself, always keepin' that with you."
You move closer to him, vanishing what distance remains as you let him hold your hand, eyes fixed on his face. "You-"
"Oh, hell no!"
By the voice alone and its sheer strength, you can already tell it's game over for you.
Brenda stands by the open door, moving her pronounced and unwavering glare between you and the monster. She takes in the situation, from the sight of a stranger in your bedroom, to you holding hands with him, and the fact you both still look like you've just woken up. While you don't blame her for assuming, you want to avoid bringing up discussions like those again. You were done with relationship drama for a lifetime, not only for how bad you were at managing stress, but for the needless trouble it could cast onto the remote lifestyle you've built through the years: keeping to yourself without getting too involved in the lives of others, no matter family, friend, or partner. 
She enters the bedroom when the skeleton greets her in, a quick and simple 'nice to meet you' sufficient for her to stop near the door and settle all her attention on him.
"You're (Y/N)'s godmother, right?"
Sans stands up, his tone and posture both on equal levels formal as he offers his hand out to her. "I'm Comic Sans Serif. Former servant of the Royal Guard." Brenda takes it, though she still has a wary eye on him.
"And what's your relationship with (Y/N)?" she asks, unfazed. "I remember they were going to meet you at the train station a few months ago, but I do not see why you're allowed to be here."
An expression similar to when Frisk asked him if you were dating shows up, but he soon recovers and replies with, "Our relationship right now's the definition of 'it's complicated', but we're still pretty good friends."
"Define 'pretty good', mister Serif," she demands, keeping her hand in his. "Are you their man-friend, or something of the like? You… You don't really look like the most promising type of guy, I'll admit."
"Frankly, we're still workin' things out, but I don't mind being their 'man-friend', if that's what ya wanna call it."
While you would like to kick both him and your godmother outside or call them out on their blunt and plain audacious commentary, you stay back and watch as a dangerous, downright preying look unfolds from your godmother's gaze. She shakes his hand, but way too strong for it not to hurt, even for someone made primarily out of bones and magic. She squeezes hard enough to make the air bubbles between them pop and for you to hiss in response to the pain he's being brought into. When she lets him go, her gaze more than precipitates itself on you, capturing you similar to how a snake would do with a mouse. "My flight got delayed, I almost lost my soul with how much turbulence there was on the way here, and I'm still jet-lagged." Her scowl's as deep as her furrow, worsening by the second. "So either you explain to me what the hell went on these past few months I was gone, or we're going to have to talk soon."
You're not backing down without a fight -- confident in yourself or not.
"I'm an adult already," you reply, matching her scowl with a glare. "That was seven years ago, Brenda. I'm thankful for the help you gave me back then, but I don't need you lecturing me over who I should date anymore."
"I should if the guy you're dating willingly admits what's going on between you!"
"It's not like that!" You face his side for a moment, seeing he's still adjusting his hand back to mobility. "He's-"
"Are you really trying to defend him now, (Y/N)?" she snaps, stomping her foot and crossing her arms. "And are you really gonna let something like that happen again? He sounds worse than Jerry!"
"I've been alone since he and I ended." You try not to let your voice crack or falter, determined to be just as strong as her. "I get I screwed up that time, but I've learned and I'm still learning even now. You don't have to rub it in!"
"Oh, please." Brenda rolls her eyes and throws her arms up in the air, scoffing. "Then cry about it, why don't you? I just want what's best for y-"
"Then maybe I will, dammit." 
You wipe a tear off your cheek, scowl, and head out of the room, not bothering to look back.
"Say whatever you want to say about me," you add, keeping your back to her. "But don't drag him into this. I feel bad enough as it is -- indecisive and... And just outright incapable of being honest about how I feel." You clench your hands and spare one last glance at her, holding back tears. "He's not joking. I… I could've told him to stop trying to flirt with me, and I could've said no when he offered to take me out for dessert, but I still went with it. And now I'm denying what's happening, l- leading him on knowing I can't devote myself to another relationship as serious as the last, and… And k- knowing I still hate myself for it." You wipe away the wetness on your cheeks, sniffling to prevent things from getting messier. "Everything feels like it's changing, except for me!" You pause and take a break, regaining some calm through a breath. "Frisk brought an entire civilization back with them here, you moved away as soon as you found a better job, and all the close friends I used to have are gone." 
Another break, and another breath.
"Do I really have no right to move on?"
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• • •
Important Notice
I got my first dose of the vaccine recently, and so now I'm in the process of resting away the tired/soreness it brought. Body says sleep and oof ouch my bones, but college says with great power comes great responsibility. Worth it, though!
...And of course, this means a change/delay in the update schedule until I recover.
For now, I'll try to update around once to thrice a week as customary, but on Tuesday, Thursday, and/or Saturday evenings/nights.
Still... I'm not making any long-lasting promises, lol. Y'all already know how finicky my health is!
As always, take care and stay safe. :-)
• • •
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oh-my-may · 4 years
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Asahi, Nishinoya and Tsukishima with a cheerleader crush
requested: Hi, can i request a reaction for Asahi, Tsukishima and Nishanoya?  They have a crush the reader is part of the cheerleading squad for Karasuno and one night, they are practising by themselves and the boys (separately) see them and he confesses to them.   P.s hello fellow Army :3
Asahi Azumane:
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He’s always admired you from afar
Definitely the secret admirer type of guy, don’t even @ me
You’re in the same year as him, though you never had much contact with one another
You were closest with Suga out of the third year volleyball players and Asahi was always a little envious of his friend whom could talk to you so effortlessly
Sometimes he’d join in conversations but it was rare and he’d only say very few words
Though you’ve always thought he was cute, even when most of your friends and other cheerleaders said how Asahi looks so badass and manly and mature with his beard, sometimes even intimidating, you’ve never really seen that side of him
Instead, when observing him closer at games, he seemed insecure and shy at times, self-conscious and just generally really sweet
One time you bumped into him in school and all your books and notes fell to the floor and both of you were so flustered that you literally just stared at each other inappropriately long until the bell rang and both of you almost got late to class
You both ducked down at the same time, grabbing for your things, making your hands touch several times and both of you blush like crazy
Afterwards you avoided each others gazes, because when you even just saw him somewhere your heart began to pound like crazy and your body heated up very unhealthily
And Asahi? Ugh he had chaos inside his head. Was literally beating himself up for not looking and therefore making you almost fall to the ground. He didn’t even apologize, no wonder you don’t even want to look at him anymore-
One evening after practice (him and Nishinoya had stayed a little longer with Hinata and Kageyama for some extra practice) he left the gym and heard quiet music from somewhere behind the gym, so he went to investigate
He found you there, jumping around and doing all kinds of acrobatics while some upbeat music was quietly blasting through your speaker
Asahi was so in awe at your movements that he just stared until you ended your little practice. You turned around and looked directly at him, and you immediately became a blushing mess
“Asahi! I didn’t know you were here...” You say quietly, fiddling with your hands behind your back
He shot up. “Oh, I just returned from practice myself. Why are you out here, don’t you guys have a gym on your own?”
You collect your things from the ground as you feel your cheeks still burning, but not from the exhausting choreography you just did. “Well, one of them must have taken my keys with them so I couldn’t get in. I just stayed out here, sorry if I distracted you or something.”
Now Asahi didn’t know what to say. Yes you did distract him, but not from volleyball. “No, don’t worry about it, it’s really not like that. Though your movements really did look great.” The last sentence was out before he could stop himself and he’s in utter shock, until you laugh and wave it off.
“Thanks, but I still need alittle practice to get the details right. The first years we have this year are really good and I don’t want to get lost in their shadow.”
Asahi felt that on a personal level, but he didn’t elaborate on it. Your reaction to his compliment boosted his confidence. “It’s getting late and dark. You shouldn’t walk home alone, Y/N.”
You raised your brows. Normally, you didn’t mind walking home alone, but now that he was setting the option on the table- “Do you want to walk me home, Asahi?”
“I would really like to. And please call me Azumane.”
So you do. You even make the way to your house a unnecessarily long by walking slower and taking passage ways you normally don’t.
You just really enjoy his company, his presence makes you feel save and warm and once you both warmed up a bit the conversation was going smoothly and pretty much without interruption. Though, somewhen you reached your home and had to stop.
“Oh, so this is where you live?”
You nod as you look up to your house. “You should remember it for future occassions.” You blush as you say the words but you feel good with saying them, even seeing how Azumane suddenly becomes shy again and scratches the back of his neck.
“I think so to. At least if you want to see me again, what I would really like because I really like you, Y/N...”
You giggle. How could you not? He looked incredibly cute, no matter the beard or height of his. “Well then, we should meet some time. How about tomorrow?” When he looks at you with a confused look you shake your head and laugh. “You have a game tomorrow, remember? I’ll see you then.”
Nishinoya Yuu:
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Is literally so obvious about his crush it’s almost crazy
From the first moment he lay his eyes on you, he was in love and determined to make you his
Though you never made it an easy task for him, because especially in the beginning you didn’t really like his approaches, you believed them to be too unromantic and you thought Nishinoya was the type of guy that would go for any girl and was just trying to get into your pants
But when he continued even in your second year you suddenly got a new view of him, expecially when he changed his manners towards you
When he was close he would always hold open doors for you, bring you flowers on certain days, leavy tiny cute messages on your desk like “Y/N you look very pretty today~” or “Thank you for cheering me on yesterday!” etc
You’d grow very fond of him, cheering the loudest for him at games or sometimes even find a sneaky way to watch him at volleyball practice
You thought some of his moves were really cool and reminded you of certain moves you did during choreographies
So one day after practice you stayed a little longer in the gym and desperately tried to copy his rolling thunder, but everything you did just lacked something. It didn’t feel the same as when you saw how Nishinoya does it
And of course the man and legend himself overhears your desperate sounds and sneaks into the gym to find you doing the rolling thunder and when I tell you this man was ecstatic-
“Y/N!! Is that the rolling thunder?!”
You’re so shocked you just freeze for a whole moment. Your heart just stopped right then and there on the sport because his outburst scared you so much. “Noya! What are you doing here?”
He already took off his jacket. “Teaching you the rolling thunder, obviously.”
You feel so embarrassed when he gets closer with the most stupidest grin on his face. You almost feel yourself turning red but you quickly turn away so he doesn’t see.
At first you’re hesitant about the whole thing but thern you get into it, copying his moves slowly but surely. Both of you become a stuttering, unsure mess when he touches your leg to show you how to bend your knees it’s really cute
When you finally master it without his help both of you jump up in total excitement and you just let yourself fall into his arms without further thought because why not
But then you realize what you just did, but Noyas arms just hold you on the spot and you quite literally melt into his embrace (fight me on this but Noya is probablöy one of the best people on the planet to hug okay-)
“Y/N, I know I’ve said this before but I mean now more than ever: I really really like you.”
You pull away to see his determined eyes, that show a sparkle in them you haven’t seen before and you’re completely stunned. Nishinoya really did a full 180 and managed to impress you more than once, but especially tonight.
“well then we should go on a date, no?”
He is so shook that he doesn’t move for like a whole minute and just stares at you with big eyes before he does the highest jumpt he ever managed and took your hand. “Yes, we totally should!”
Tsukishima Kei:
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Out of all possible options, Tsukishima has never seen himself falling for a cheerleader
But here he was, watching in awe as he stood on the sidelines of a game during a break, watching as you cheered on the team and riled up the fans that came to watch the team. Something about you was different from the rest of the cheerleaders, and so you immediately caught his eye when you joined the team
He always found himself glancing at you during games and it was something about your bright, honest smile and the way you moved that just motivated him to do better
He even imagined he could hear your voice clearer than the rest of the crowd, cheering his name loudly and enthusiastically as he was about to serve the ball
He even looked out for you in school, though he tried to not make it obvious. Whenever he was walking through the halls he would try and see if you were somewhere to flash him smile, at what table you sat at lunch and when you weren’t there he would get worried that maybe you got sick
One morning he’d even spot you before school, standing next to the entrance and shivering
For a moment he would be clueless as to what to do, but then he’d get the hint and quickly take out his volleyball jakcte and hand it to you, so you won’t freeze
And you’re so flustered and just stutter out a thank you as you take the jacket and wrap it around you. You never thought he’d notice you, not when he was so occupied with volleyball and school. He always seemed so calm and collected which was actually something you really appreciated about him.
But now he was just smiling at you and you didn’t freeze anymore as your body began to heat up from the inside. He told you not to worry about the jacket, you could just give it back to him anytime and that you should stay safe. That was the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him and both of you went on a little breathless.
(Yamaguchi was with Tsukishima and he noticed his friends weird behaviour but he didn’t comment further on it)
The whole day you can’t focus on class because your thoughts always wander back to the tall volleyball player and you always just end up blushing like crazy, especially when you remember that you’re wearing his jacket??
Anyway that night he comes over to your gym to get his jacket back, but you’re not quite finished so he just sits down and silently watches as you move around and fly through the air as if you’ve never done anything else in your life
He was just so in awe. How can you trust other people so easily? They literally throw you through the air and you’re just always smiling and cheering even for them, are you even a real human being?
By the time your practice ends he’s convinced he doesn’t need another person in his life but you so he just straight up grows a pair and walks up to you
He looks so determined you’re a little scared when you see him at first. You just quickly grab for his jacket and throw it his way. He catches it halfway through the air.
“Y/N...”
“I’m sorry Tsukishima, I should have brought you your jacket earlier, but it was just a little too comfortable and I almost forgot I had it on-”
“Y/N, I like you.”, he just bursts out before you can continue. You’re just so glad that none of your team members are in hearing range. Still, you feel your whole body heat up as blood rushes to your cheeks and everything inside of you just freels gooey.
“You... You do?”
“Yes, and I’d really like it if we could spend more time together, maybe we could go and eat something or so...” Suddenly his confidence leaves him as he sees your shocked face, your eyes as wide as headlights and an obvious blush painted on your cheeks. Your hair is lightly sticking to your forehead and you just look so cute he might combust.
“Of course! I would love to! Maybe we could start off by walking home together? I have to go into the same direction as you anyway.”
378 notes · View notes
farmhandler · 3 years
Text
for your sake
Fandom: Demon Slayer/Kimetsu no Yaiba
Pairing: Rengoku/Tanjiro
Rating: T
Chapter: 5/6
Word count: 5 K
Summary: Rengoku is dying, but Zenitsu has an unorthodox idea that might be just what they need.
Warnings: Omegaverse, alpha!Tanjiro, omega!Rengoku, Trope inversion/subversion
A/N: I have not kept up with posting on here! I don't know that any of you care but here you go!!!!!!!
Read on AO3
---
If Tanjiro couldn’t get through to Rengoku directly, there was another way to reach him. That very evening, with Zenitsu’s comment on his mind, he visited the kitchens.
“Excuse me, do you think you could give an extra serving of this to Rengoku?” he asked one of the cooks—the one who doted on him more than the others. “I’ll pay for it.”
The cook glanced at him and then smiled knowingly. “You don’t need to pay for that. Of course I can bring your mate an extra serving.” She winked. “I’ll tell him it’s from you.”
“Thank you very much!”
Tanjiro had considered trying his hand at cooking, but he didn’t trust himself to consistently make food that would appeal to Rengoku. And food was the only means he had available. He reasoned the best way to accomplish this new task was to offer his services doing anything the helpers and cooks needed—if they could do just a little extra work for him.
In the days that followed, Tanjiro made sure that something reached Rengoku that Tanjiro had touched. He usually left it at something small and easy to acquire like an extra serving or a snack. A few times, though, he made use of his leftover sweet potatoes and with help had the dish delivered to Rengoku around dinnertime.
He was ill at ease with the way things were, but this kept the worst of his worries at bay. Being able to provide for Rengoku—even if all he did was send food over—fulfilled him more than he’d thought. The constant, burning flames inside him felt more under his control.
After a few days, the helpers even began to expect his requests.
“Another serving, right?” Aoi asked, clearly amused. She was on kitchen duty and intercepted Tanjiro by the door. “Careful, we accidentally burned food in one of the pots. There’s still smoke. I’ll make sure Rengoku gets more than his fill.”
“And can you let me see it before it’s sent off?”
Aoi looked at him like she wanted to say something about that, but she ended up sighing and nodded.
“Sure. I’ll also let him know you’re still around, since things are like this.”
“Thank you, Aoi. You’re really kind.”
She sputtered, then turned and walked back into the kitchen. “Yes, yes. Stay out of the kitchens for once!”
The one thing Tanjiro didn’t do was ask after Rengoku, no matter how much he desperately wanted to. He knew that if he heard too much about him, he would be too tempted to go find him. The fatigue and sickness already ate at him enough; it was to the point that he had temporarily stopped training. Seeing how well Rengoku had been the last they spoke, he hoped that the worst consequences were something only Tanjiro was experiencing, being the one who had given him the bite.
Support, he thought, lifting a bowl of meat buns he was going to hand off to a helper. He rubbed his hands along the edges of the bowl, spreading his scent, and then he touched a few of them to do the same. Support Rengoku. You get to see him when you see him.
“You know, it’s sweet, what you’re doing,” Aoi told him, after watching him carefully spread his scent among the buns. “Rengoku still doesn’t seem to be doing as well as we’d hoped, but he always eats the food you send to him.”
She paused, and Tanjiro could sense the unasked question.
“Rengoku has made it clear he doesn’t want to see me,” Tanjiro admitted, after a beat. “Most likely, he’s considering the ramifications of my actions and he decided this is what he wants. But,” Tanjiro continued, lifting the bowl of buns with a smile, “I can still attune him to me slowly like this. As long as he enjoys the food, I don’t mind.”
“And what about you?” Aoi asked. “I know why you’ve been sick.”
Tanjiro looked down at the buns. “I’m the eldest son,” he said. “And I’m an alpha. This is easy!”
He lifted his head and smiled.
“Would you mind taking this to Rengoku for me? I’d appreciate it!”
Aoi sighed and reached out with one hand.
Although Tanjiro put on a face of cheer, every day left him feeling more despondent than the last. Rengoku may not have rejected the food Tanjiro had sent his way, but that didn’t stop him from feeling like he was being rejected overall.
Tanjiro had heard about what it was like for mates to reject each other. The stories never ended well.
He swiped his palm across his forehead. As was usual for this time of year, it was relatively cool outside, but he felt overheated.
Sometimes it feels like if I lose focus, or I stop my Total Concentration, Constant breathing, I’ll fall right over.
A scraping sound echoed at his left. He turned to see Nezuko crawl out of her box and stand at her full height.
“Good morning, Nezuko,” Tanjiro greeted, as cheerfully as he could manage. Tanjiro was seated at the edge of her bed. She stepped away from the box and came over to greet him by sitting down and clasping his hands in hers.
Good morning, Tanjiro, he could imagine her saying. If she removed the bamboo from her mouth, she could have spoken, but since its placement, she had never taken it off. Tanjiro suspected it was as much for her own sake as it was others. It was a reminder of what she had become, and how careful she needed to be.
Tanjiro glanced at the window. Dusk had settled into dark.
“Did you sleep okay?” he asked.
She nodded and brought her fingers to the front of her mouth, tapping on the bamboo twice.
Hungry.
Because of the bamboo, Nezuko couldn’t speak. Yet despite that handicap, she had found ways to signal her own needs.
“I bet you are,” Tanjiro said sympathetically. “Sorry, Nezuko. I doubt humans taste good, anyway.”
At that, she shrugged, the a curious glint in her eyes. They rarely joked about what had become of her, and what she technically needed to eat. Tanjiro didn’t know what possessed him to do it now. He always assumed it would be a tough subject for her to acknowledge.
“Hey, Nezuko, I have something I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said, changing topics.
She made an inquiring sound.
“Do you remember how the others in town would always try to court you whenever you came down with me?”
Nezuko raised a brow. She nodded slowly.
“I know, it’s probably strange of me to ask suddenly. It’s just—would you mind listening to me for a bit?”
Nezuko shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes as if to say, do I do anything else but listen?
“Sorry.” Tanjiro chuckled. “It’s just… it’s about Rengoku.”
Nezuko scooted closer to him on the bed and laid a hand on his shoulder. She jostled him gently, a silent command to go on.
“I told you about everything that happened. About what we did to save him.” A nod. Tanjiro swallowed and folded his hands in his lap. “He doesn’t want to see me right now. Probably, everything that happened is finally catching up with him. He seemed unusually well-adjusted at the beginning, but now…”
Tanjiro exhaled and ran his hands over his pants.
“I don’t regret what I did. Rengoku is alive because of it. But it keeps eating at me all the same. I’m not sure why, exactly.” He sighed again. “I’m so tired, Nezuko. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this tired.”
Nezuko’s eyes widened imperceptibly. She lifted herself off the bed and sat further back. Then she patted her lap and gestured for Tanjiro to lay there.
“Maybe not that tired. I’m not a kid anymore,” Tanjiro said. “And I’m older than you.”
A sound of frustration came from Nezuko. She yanked on his arm, and because she was much stronger than him physically, he fell into a heap directly over her lap.
Tanjiro moved to rise, but Nezuko’s hand pushed into the back of his head, forcing him to settle down into the soft weight of her kimono. She smoothed her hand down back of his head, and he could practically hear the words he said so often echoed back at him.
There there, Tanjiro.
For some reason, tears stung at the space behind his eyelids.
“You know, Nezuko,” he said, settling into place, “after everything I’ve done, I’m not surprised Rengoku is avoiding me.”
He hesitated then, and Nezuko made an encouraging sound.
“It’s just… throughout all this, I’m constantly reminded of the way I acted when they first brought Rengoku home. I… I tried to attack people helping us. I told you about that, didn’t I? I was so embarrassed afterwards. And ashamed. I’ve never done anything like that in my life. I didn’t even—there wasn’t even a question there. I just… acted.”
Tanjiro’s fingers curled into a fist over Nezuko’s knee. There was a stray thread sticking out of the edge of her kimono, and Tanjiro stared at it.
“When Rengoku is around me, I feel—” safe, happy, at peace “—dangerous. I did something dangerous. Something horrible. But it saved Rengoku. And I’m…” Tanjiro chuckled weakly. “I’m happy about that. Is that horrible of me? Is that it?”
Nezuko’s hand on his head never faltered. She didn’t say anything, waiting for him to continue.
“Sometimes I am ashamed, Nezuko,” Tanjiro admitted. “I like Rengoku. He’s kind, and strong, and he smells incredible. I’m ashamed because even though I feel like I’m a danger, I want to be around him. I have to be near him. And after everything that’s led up to this, with our family, and the train, and if—if I had just been there when our family was slaughtered, or when Rengoku—if I could have been stronger, and helped him more during his fight, he wouldn’t be in this situation.”
Tanjiro knew he sounded halfway incoherent. The words spilled from his mouth in a hurry, as though admitting them might finally make it all makes sense. He felt Nezuko’s hand stall at the top of his head. He didn’t expect her to know what to say as his little sister, and he hardly knew what he wanted to hear.
As the silence continued, he thought that would be the end of it, but then he heard her voice rise up from behind the bamboo.
She was humming.
Tanjiro instantly recognized the song. It was one of the songs their mother used to sing. If she was in middle of something, they might catch her humming it, the notes often fading into the background, yet irreplaceable in his memory.
Everything will be okay, their mother used to tell them. My children are strong.
The tears collecting behind Tanjiro's lids overflowed and trickled down his cheeks.
“Nezuko, if you keep doing that, I’m going to fall asleep,” he said, his voice wavering dangerously.
Nezuko kept humming, finishing the song and allowing Tanjiro to collect himself. Once he was no longer in danger of becoming a sobbing mess, he felt her hand squeeze his shoulder. Then her fingernails dug in, making him twist his body to look up at her, blinking away his tears.
He met her eyes as she stared at him. When she looked at him like this, with her fierce and unblinking gaze, it almost felt like he could hear her thoughts.
This isn’t like you.
“I guess I haven’t been feeling like myself,” Tanjiro said.
Nezuko huffed, gesturing for Tanjiro to give him both her hands. When he did, she flipped them so they were facing palm up. She took his right hand and drew a symbol with her fingers.
“…Past?”
Nezuko made a sound of agreement. She let go of that hand and did the same thing on his left hand.
“Future…?”
Drawing his gaze back to hers, Nezuko pushed down on his right hand and held up his left. She curled into a fist and shook it emphatically.
Future.
Tanjiro was suddenly thrown back in time. The words that Rengoku had spoken to him near death loudly rang through his head.
Go ahead and live with your head held high! No matter how devastated you may be by your own weakness or uselessness... set your heart ablaze. Grit your teeth and look straight ahead.
As long as you remain untethered by your past, you will succeed.
I’m an idiot, Tanjiro thought. How blind have I been that I’ve forgotten what Rengoku told me? Even if his death never came, those were his dying words. If he weren’t alive today I would be disrespecting his memory.
“Nezuko…” Tanjiro pushed himself up into a sitting position while Nezuko still held onto his fist. “You’re right. You’re right. What am I doing, lying here complaining about the past? This isn’t like me.”
He smiled at her. Nezuko’s eyes crinkled like she was smiling back.
“Thank you, Nezuko. Thank you for listening, and helping me remember.”
Tanjiro threw himself off the bed. The world tilted, but Tanjiro righted himself and lifted a triumphant fist into the air.
“Rengoku is alive! He’s my mate! Nothing we can do can change that now. I need to look forward.” He breathed in, imagining inhaling Rengoku’s scent.
“I need to see Rengoku.”
---
Nearly a full day passed after the conversation with Nezuko. Tanjiro intended to see Rengoku that very day, but shortly after spending most of his evening with Nezuko, he went to bed early after developing one of the fiercest migraines he’d ever experienced. It lasted all night and into the early morning, and Tanjiro only managed to get some sleep once one of the girls brought him a medicated solution.
The next thing he knew, Zenitsu was shaking him awake.
“Tanjiro! Tanjiro! Seriously, wake up! Do I need to slap you?!”
“Huh?” Tanjiro’s eyelids fluttered open; he immediately winced and squinted at the bright sunlight that seemed to find a way to beam directly into his brain. Thankfully, by that point his headache was mostly gone, but even though Zenitsu was jostling him, he felt like the thick fog that always hung over him had grown even thicker. His head lolled even as Zenitsu forced him into a sitting position. A glance at the window told him it was just past sunrise.
“Zenitsu, what are you… saying?”
“I’ve been trying to tell you! Rengoku collapsed!”
The words didn’t register at first.
“Rengoku? What about Rengoku?”
“He collapsed!” Zenitsu shrieked. “And what’s wrong with you? Does this have to do with your bond? Are you going to fall over? Because that’s what Rengoku did!”
“What?” The words finally made sense in his mind. He sat up straighter and gripped Zenitsu by his forearms. “Zenitsu, what did you just say?”
“Like I said, Rengoku collapsed. I was just passing by his room this morning. I could hear him talking to the helpers when all of a sudden I heard a thump, and they yelled out that he had fallen over.”
“What?”
Now wide awake, Tanjiro leapt out of bed with Zenitsu still clinging to his arm. It was a perfunctory attempt at comfort, and with the fog still hanging over him and the rush of panic at hearing Rengoku was unwell, Tanjiro reacted on instinct.
The growl that erupted out of him was a sound he hadn’t even known he was capable of making, not at a close friend.
In an instant, Zenitsu had let go of him and scrambled backwards, eyes saucer wide.
“I’m so sorry, Zenitsu!” Tanjiro hurried to say, ashamed. “I’m sorry. You came to wake me up and told me what was happening. Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Zenitsu said. His voice shook, but he didn’t look overly upset. “I get it. You’re his mate, right? Of course you’re worried. I thought something like this would happen eventually. You both have been looking like such crap for a while now.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… I mean he’s been sick, too, right? Whenever I saw him I could tell. He’s been sick, just like you’ve been sick.”
Tanjiro went stiff. This was the first time he’d heard how Rengoku was doing. The scent that he could barely detect on Zenitsu was too insignificant to get a reading. It had been that way for a while now; Tanjiro hadn’t sought out Rengoku, giving him space he needed, and he thought he’d been doing the right thing. But if he felt bad enough that he had collapsed…
Tanjiro, you idiot. You realized what you needed to do a day too late.
“Zenitsu,” Tanjiro said. A strange sense of calm fell over him. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Tanjiro—“
Tanjiro didn’t wait to hear what he had to say, and he didn’t bother getting dressed. Still wearing his pajamas, and with the tail end of a throbbing headache, Tanjiro ran out of the room, nearly colliding with the door on his way out.
Out in the hallway, running became sprinting. Since it was still early morning, it was relatively quiet, but to avoid running into any people—and because he didn’t fully trust himself not to accidentally growl at someone when he was still somewhat out of it—Tanjiro moved sidelong into the engawa surrounding the outer parts of the mansion.
Rengoku.
Rengoku.
Rengoku!
Tanjiro’s eyes burned. He was furious him with himself. Why couldn’t he do anything right? Rengoku didn’t want to see Tanjiro. Of course he didn’t. Tanjiro knew that. But even so, Tanjiro should’ve pushed more. He needed to push more.
If you’re going into this with halfhearted feelings and hopes of praise, it would have been better for him to die!
Tanjiro blinked away his upset and cut through one of the nearby rooms leading into the part of the building where Rengoku was. He knew he was close when Rengoku’s scent grew strong and thick.
He could smell the sickness in it.
Stupid stupid idiot Tanjiro.
He was panting by the time he made it there. He ignored the helpers standing outside speaking quietly and marched up to the door, throwing it wide open.
“Rengoku! I’m… I’m—” He was so out of breath he had to pause before speaking again. “I’m here to attune our bodies! I’m truly very sorry for this, but you don’t have any say in the matter!”
Tanjiro had squeezed his eyes shut against the weight of his own rude introduction. When there was no response, he opened his eyes and took in the scene before him.
Rengoku was asleep. His face was pale, and he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. At the sound of his voice, Rengoku had rolled over, emitting a soft groan. Like a flower to the sun, his face tilted towards Tanjiro.
“Tanjiro,” one of the helpers greeted. Sumi, he recalled. “Thank goodness you’re here! The others were just looking for you. When Rengoku collapsed, we knew we couldn’t keep this going any longer…”
This close, the call to go to Rengoku’s side was intense. He fought against his every muscle in his body when he turned to look at Sumi.
“What you mean?” Tanjiro asked. His insides kept twisting, a sickening heat that built in his chest and stomach.
“It’s just… when we realized why Rengoku wasn’t getting better, Rengoku asked us not to mention anything to you about what was going on.”
“What…?” Tanjiro blinked. “Why? Why would he do that? Why would Rengoku…”
He trailed off. Hurt and anger swirled at the forefront of his mind. He was hurt because Rengoku felt the need to risk his health just to avoid Tanjiro. The anger was mostly with himself.
Tanjiro moved towards the foot of Rengoku’s bed. A force more powerful than any he’d ever felt urged him to move closer and sit at its edge, close enough that Tanjiro could touch him if he wanted to. He only held back because the girls were in the room with him.
“I think Rengoku didn’t want to burden you,” Sumi said eventually, her voice quiet.
“Burden?” Tanjiro echoed.
“Yes. You see, several Hashira came to visit.”
“I do remember that,” Tanjiro said. “What do the Hashira have to do with this?”
“It’s unusual because Hashira don’t usually visit each other after being injured. I think Rengoku was surprised they were doing that for him. They seemed interested in the bond that saved his life, and their attitudes weren’t, um, favorable towards you. I don’t know if that’s exactly what he was thinking, but that’s the sense I get.”
So that was why Tanjiro kept seeing and smelling the Hashiras. At this time he hadn’t given it much thought. The mansion was a common place for slayers to recover in.
“I see,” Tanjiro said. As she spoke, his anger had transformed, taking a different shape.
From the sounds of it, Hashira had exerted some kind of influence on the newly injured, newly bonded Rengoku. Rengoku wasn’t weak, neither of body nor mind, but he wasn’t usually this hurt and dealing with the consequences of being forcibly bound to another human being.
Tanjiro should have been there for him.
He always eats the food you send to him, Aoi had said.
Tanjiro grit his teeth. I’m so frustrated. Here I was, thinking I was doing something. I’m so naïve.
“Thank you for telling me, Sumi,” said. He smiled at her. “Would you mind leaving me with Rengoku? To help him heal, I need to be close with him, and I’d be a little embarrassed with an audience.”
“Oh!” Sumi’s cheeks went pink. “Right, of course! I’ll stand guard and turn away anyone who tries to come in.”
“Thank you, I appreciate it.”
The moment she was gone, Tanjiro threw the covers off Rengoku and started stripping out of his pajamas. He left on his pants to save them both the inevitable embarrassment, and he didn’t undress Rengoku. Although he was about to scent him without permission, undressing him went too far—even if he thought he needed it.
Tanjiro didn’t know how he knew, but he knew this is what he needed to do. It was what they both needed.
Now bare chested, Tanjiro settled down in front of Rengoku lengthwise, scooting as close as he could. His mouth tingled at the thought of getting his lips and teeth on the bond mark. He held back, and working manually instead, Tanjiro rubbed his scent on the bond mark with his fingers. He did this several times, over and over, until he finally felt satisfied.
The whole time he did it, Tanjiro expected Rengoku to wake up. He had mentally prepared a speech in his mind, but other than snuffling in his sleep, he didn’t wake. It was somewhat worrying. If after all this Rengoku still wasn’t awake, Tanjiro would summon Lady Shinobu to examine him.
For now, he just hoped this was enough. That he was enough.
“Rengoku,” he whispered. He opened his mouth, inhaling, swallowing as much of his scent as he pleased. For once, no one was looking at him; no one could judge him for indulging.
Tanjiro inched closer, until he was able to sling one of his hands around Rengoku’s waist. Then he hooked one of his legs around the back of Rengoku’s. The closer they were, and the more skin he was able to touch, the better Tanjiro felt. The flames that burned on endlessly and the fog that had hung over him were slowly dissipating, bit by bit.
He pressed his nose into Rengoku’s collar, just above his nightshirt, and stayed there. Once he decided enough was enough, Tanjiro moved to Rengoku’s wrists. The scent glands there wafted invitingly at him. He lifted one on Rengoku’s hands and pressed his nose at the juncture of wrist and forearm, and then Tanjiro couldn’t help it; he pressed his mouth there, silently praying for forgiveness.
I just need to scent him like this. Just a little.
He breathed in, and breathed in, and breathed in, shivering in delight. After being deprived for so long, the urge to devour his scent was so overwhelming he thought he might cry. Tanjiro scraped his teeth overtop his scent gland, sending a fresh wave of Rengoku’s unique scent into his nose. A quiet moan left his mouth.
“What are you… doing?”
Rengoku’s voice broke Tanjiro out of his intense focus. He froze, realizing that while he had been scenting him, Rengoku had finally woken up.
“R-Rengoku,” Tanjiro stammered. Rengoku’s fascinating, brightly colored eye focused in on Tanjiro lazily. He looked exhausted, and he sounded tired, but he didn’t appear to be alarmed by what was happening. Other than give him space, Tanjiro didn’t completely pull away. “I’m sorry for waking you. You are probably very confused right now.”
“Yes, I am,” he slurred. A yawn broke through in the middle of his sentence. “What are you doing in my bed?”
“I’m… I’m scenting you. I’m very sorry about this, Rengoku. I didn’t want to do it this way, but you’ve been avoiding me. You collapsed!”
Rengoku’s eye slowly closed. “I suppose I have.”
“Why? Was it the Hashira? Did I do something to offend you?” he asked, his voice rising. “I know I’m just an alpha, but—”
A finger appeared in front of his lips, stopping him short. Rengoku’s brows were furrowed, the tense lines on his face deepening.
“Young Kamado, I have a terrible headache. Please keep your voice down.”
“I understand,” Tanjiro said, barely above a whisper. “Could you please answer my question?”
Rengoku sucked in a short breath and withdrew his hand. “Not exactly. Nothing you did was on purpose.”
Something like grief overcame Tanjiro. It was what he’d known all along, but it was the last thing he wanted to hear. He knew that being an alpha had caused others trouble throughout his life, but he’d always hoped that someday, when he found his mate, things would be different.
“I’m sorry,” Tanjiro said. “I’m very sorry. Rengoku, once we’re feeling better, we’ll find a way to fix this.”
“Tanjiro,” Rengoku said, and the sound of his given name was like a jolt of electricity laid into him from Zenitsu’s sword. “Who told you about the sweet potatoes?”
“Eh…ah, Lady Shinobu,” Tanjiro answered slowly.
“Kocho. I see. I see,” he repeated. Rengoku went silent after that, and Tanjiro realized shortly after he’d begun to doze.
“Rengoku?” Tanjiro inquired, prodding him with one finger. His eyes slid briefly open. He frowned in irritation, and a moment later he shivered and curled against Tanjiro’s chest. “R-Rengoku?”
Rengoku didn’t respond.
He really must have been exhausted, he thought. I’m sorry, Rengoku. How you must have suffered!
Gingerly, Tanjiro moved his arms out of the awkward position they’d been forced into, careful not to wake Rengoku again. He slid one arm around his waist and the other he brought up between them, pressing his palm against his heart.
Tanjiro closed his eyes and matched his breathing to Rengoku’s. In, out. In, out.
Rengoku wasn’t the only one exhausted. Tanjiro had been holding on as best he could, but lying there, warm, surrounded in the scent of his mate, he was lured into a similar state of half sleep. He let his eyes fall shut.
When he opened them again, the bond mark was in his line of sight, inches away. Its unique scent wafted enticingly over to Tanjiro. It hurt how it barely carried Tanjiro’s scent at all.
He swallowed as his mouth watered uncontrollably. Then he swallowed again.
His head moved forward on its own, and Tanjiro carried it to rest of the way. He pressed his nose into the space just below the bond mark. He moaned low in pure, blissful content. As he drifted over the marred skin, Rengoku’s scent began to gain in strength. That, or maybe it was just that Tanjiro kept breathing it in. He breathed in deep, deeper still, until his chest trembled and his scent became the center of his awareness.
His mouth drifted close to the edge of the bondmark. Eventually he brushed his lips overtop the skin there.
He let out another quiet, happy groan. His lips were tingling. Digging his fingers into the front of Rengoku’s nightshirt, Tanjiro tugged in a vain effort to pull Rengoku closer than he already was while he mouthed at the bondmark, spreading his scent with his lips and tongue until it was bathed in it.
Mine, he thought deliriously. Mine.
Realizing the direction his thoughts were taking, Tanjiro pulled away to try and breathe in the night air, but it was no use; Rengoku’s scent was all around him and inside him. He couldn’t escape it, and in all honesty—he didn’t want to.
Later Tanjiro could feel properly chastened. In that moment, all he wanted to do was be with his mate.
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catflowerqueen · 3 years
Text
Hydreigon is an interesting character. I love him a lot, and how kind and genuine he is and how even he seems to undergo character growth in the short time you know him.
Like… I genuinely do not believe he thought everything through in regards to his plan to contact humans for help. And a big part of that is just because of his very nature as the Voice of Life (or at least one of them). We don’t know what form of sentience he had before assuming his current shape, I suppose, but it makes perfect sense that his first priority would be his own world—his own self, in essence, but I don’t think he was thinking about his own individual survival, either, simply because his nature would mean that he wasn’t really an “individual” per say? Not until later. But because of that, I doubt he was really thinking of long-term goals, or the deeper consequences of bringing a human in to help.
Focusing just on the effects to the actual Pokémon World for a moment… he might have known from the onset that the humans wouldn’t be able to stay after providing help… but I doubt he’d thought about the ramifications that come with the fact that they would still have to spend time in the world as they figured out what the problem was, and that it would mean they would be making connections—friends, allies, etc. We don’t know how much contact he actually had with the other humans before they fell for Munna’s trap, but he did seem to genuinely worry about them as people—at least as far as their general welfare went. Like… his being upset about their defeat seemed to go deeper than just “each one defeated is one more that can’t help me.” Which is nice. And then he did genuinely seem to grow fond of the player themselves, and were very happy and proud of how deep their relationship with the partner was.
And that’s part of why I think he was crying when he confessed that the player would have to leave. He’d grown fond of them, and he knew how much the others—especially the partner—cared (and could maybe even feel it in the world itself?) And he was genuinely, truly heartbroken at the fact that they had to leave, and that he would probably be the only one to remember them. Which is probably why he stayed with them for as long as they could while they journeyed out, agreed to take them to see Paradise one last time, and just felt so bad about not being able to do more. As well as why he tried so hard to get them back in the post-game.
As to other things he didn’t think through… mostly the ramifications it had on the human world that he was pulling so many people out of it. Yes, the population of humans is very large, and we don’t know exactly how many people he actually called out to (and for that many, how many accepted his call. Was he just pulling in anyone that could hear him? Because, like… he asked for help, but then didn’t really ask permission to take them, or get any formal agreement. At least not verbally—it’s possible there was something going on behind the scenes with souls or intent or whatever). But there was enough that people were taking notice of the strange lights in the sky—and considering how many the Pokémon of Post Town were seeing on the hill, how many more must have been in other places? After all, the humans can’t have all arrived in the same place, and the pokemon world itself is quite large. How long has this sort of thing been going on? We don’t know, but given the problem I would think Hydreigon would have tried to pull in as many people as possible, so that could be anywhere from… let’s say five (to account for the fact that the Post Town citizens saw multiple balls of light, in addition to the one the hero saw and the hero themselves), to something like a hundred. If not more.
And depending on where in the world he took them from, their ages, their jobs, what was going on in their own lives… this could have some pretty dire consequences, especially considering that the post-game makes it clear that time was passing at more or less the same rate in each world, in addition to the fact that it was a genuine worry of the partner’s that the hero’s friends and family would have noticed and been distressed by their disappearance. So even if it might not affect the human world on a large scale… Hydreigon definitely did not take into account how it would affect things on a smaller scale—namely, the lives the humans were leaving behind for the duration.
In addition to the trauma of having literally died/been so near death that it amounted to basically the same thing in order to actually return home… how many humans then returned to eviction notices, lost jobs, truancy alerts, etc.? How many missed once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, or deadlines? Was anyone on an organ donor list that was now once more at the back of the line because they weren’t there to receive the donation? Or had to reschedule other general surgeries/miss important appointments? Did anyone leave their own children behind, who then had no one to look out for them? Or was the only person in the office who had access to the important equipment/files meaning that now multiple people are out of work? Or was in the middle of doing something/maintaining something really important that crashed and burned in their absence and caused multiple other deaths or injuries?
The human world is complicated, and while it makes sense Hydreigon wouldn’t know about that or prioritize that—not that I blame him for it—it just… yeah, he didn’t think things through.
Which is why it is so genuinely heartwarming that the partner did. And, sure, maybe they didn’t understand the complexities of the situation either, but they at least could consider the ramifications for the hero’s immediate friends and family members if they never went home.
Honestly, it does bring up its own can of worms as far as how the hero will use their new abilities to travel between worlds—because, again, the complexities and bureaucracy of the human world don’t really lend themselves to someone being MIA for long stretches of time unless they’re independently wealthy/have someone willing to look after their stuff while they’re gone, so it might mean that the hero really will eventually have to pick a side, as it were, to stay full time and just the other one as a minor vacation spot (which… like, I hope Emolga was just joking when he said those lines to the hero in post-game about them having to work extra hard to make up for all the lost time while they were in the human world because… if that genuinely is his belief, then the hero isn’t going to be getting any chance to rest in between whatever jobs and things they have to maintain in the human world and their “job” in Paradise. Burnout is not pleasant).
But that’s probably getting too meta about things, anyways. It’s just that Gates is the only game in the series that actually brings those implications to the forefront, because, again, no amnesia for the hero, and the partner (and others) directly speculate about it a few times. Rescue Team was… well, the amnesia thing means that not even the hero knows what their life was like, so it is a… relatively simpler choice to make? In some ways? Yeah, maybe they are leaving some things behind in the human world… but they could just as equally have hated their life. They have no way of knowing, and just based on the new memories they created, they know that could have a good life in the Pokémon world. In Explorers, they didn’t really have a life to go back to afterwards either way. Again, there’s some ambiguity in us not knowing if they were actually from the paralyzed future, as opposed to just being taken their by someone else because of their abilities, but… either way, as far as they knew, they were going to disappear at the end and effectively be deceased. And then even after the fifth special episode, their options were still kind of limited to just the past/present from their perspective and living in the future. Which is fixed now, sure, but the only real connections they’d have to the place would be Grovyle and Celebi—who they only remember from their brief period travelling together over the course of the game. …And also Dusknoir and the Sableye, I suppose, but I feel like that would just be very complicated and awkward. And then I’ve already made myself abundantly clear as far as PSMD goes. Is the hero actually leaving a life behind? Who knows! Not them, thanks to the mind wiping, and even if they were, it isn’t like anyone bothered to give them options or think too deeply on the matter.
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bettydice · 3 years
Text
I didn’t expect you to be lonely (too)
Xicheng, Modern AU, JC&WWX reconciliation, E-Rated 
[Read on AO3]
Chapter 3
Saturday
Jiang Cheng gets up early the next day, opens his window, clothes his eyes, breathes in the cold air, then says: “Fuck.”
Today, Jiang Cheng will meet with Lan Xichen again. After everything that happened yesterday. Him crying. Lan Xichen being understanding and nice and wonderful. Both of those things are going to be issues. The crying is an issue because Jiang Cheng did eventually feel that promised catharsis. He could sleep a little better, dream a little lighter after letting it all out for once. Maybe it wasn’t so much the crying as Lan Xichen being fucking nice about it afterwards. Taking care of him… Which is a problem, because Jiang Cheng can’t have such things. But he wants it.
He wants to talk with someone about it, but he can’t talk with his sister, because she’d be enthusiastic about Jiang Cheng expressing interest in someone and encourage him to pursue it, which is not the advice he wants. This is the kind of thing he’d talk with Wei Wuxian or Nie Huaisang about. But he can’t talk with Wei Wuxian - for obvious reasons.
And Nie Huaisang…
Jiang Cheng opens his messenger and scrolls through his conversation history with Nie Huaisang. There’s a bunch of party invites from Nie Huaisang, all unanswered by Jiang Cheng. Further up, there’s “What, are you going to ignore me too?” and “You’re a fucking idiot, Jiang Cheng.”
It’s true, he’s a fucking idiot. And everyone knows it. Yet they aren’t the ones who stopped replying first. They aren’t the ones who just assumed that if Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng stopped talking, it meant they’d have to stop talking to Jiang Cheng too. He is the one who did that.
The day goes by horribly quickly, so very soon he finds himself lying on Lan Xichen’s massage table again. Lan Xichen smiles at him and wraps him up as though nothing’s ever happened. The unwrapping and the following massage go by without any incident this time. Well, at least without a crying incident. Jiang Cheng does let out what could be considered almost a moan at one point but Lan Xichen only asks, “Painful?”, and Jiang Cheng nods instead of saying what he actually thought, which was: “No, it felt fucking amazing, your hands are magical, put them all over me.”
Once he’s dressed again, Lan Xichen takes a few minutes to go through some stretches for his neck and shoulders with him, so he can do them at home. A few very embarrassing minutes, during which Lan Xichen shows him how far a normal person can tilt and turn his head, and Jiang Cheng demonstrates that he’s not even half as flexible.
After, Lan Xichen invites him to the living room for tea again. Jiang Cheng wants to ask whether this is something he does for all his clients, but it’s better he just assumes so, even if it’s not true.
“How are the bunnies today?” Jiang Cheng asks as soon as he sits down. Bunnies should be a safe topic - right?
“Great! I seem to have offended neither. Do you… do you want to meet Cloud today?” Lan Xichen asks haltingly as though Jiang Cheng would ever say no to that.
“I’d love to!”
A few minutes later, they’re sitting on the floor, each with a bunny in their lap. Cloud had eyed him suspiciously for a while, but when she realised Jiang Cheng was very happy to provide her with attention and petting, she allowed him to do just that.
“You should feel honoured that she accepted your presence this quickly.” Lan Xichen nods at Cloud, amusement crinkling the skin around his eyes.
Jiang Cheng looks down at the bunny, who has her eyes closed while Jiang Cheng rubs her head. “I do. I actually read up about that yesterday, how bunnies have a high sense of… well, manners basically. I didn’t know that!”
Lan Xichen straightens up when he hears that, visibly excited. “It’s true! I also find it very fascinating. Though I think Cloud has an usually unpronounced sensitivity for such things. Or maybe she’s just realised she’ll get treats that way. My brother and I have a spreadsheet where we collect all of the bunnies’ - mostly Cloud’s - rules.”
Jiang Cheng looks at Lan Xichen to see whether he made a joke or whether such a spreadsheet actually exists. It seems to be true, he can detect no hint of a joke in Lan Xichen’s eyes or in his smile. Jiang Cheng laughs. “I’d be interested in reading that. I wouldn’t want to accidentally offend Cloud by not stroking her head enough, or too many times.”
Lan Xichen blinks at him a few times without saying anything. Uhm, has he said something wrong?
“I didn’t mean you have to show me,” Jiang Cheng rushes to say. He’s probably being too pushy, implying he’d spend more time with Cloud. He’s just a client, he shouldn’t assume such things. “Just uh…”
“Oh, no, of course.” Lan Xichen shakes his head, his gentle smile back on his face. ”I don’t think Wangji would mind. In fact, I know he’s already tried to get your brother to read it.”
Jiang Cheng really needs to learn how to stop showing a reaction whenever Wei Wuxian is mentioned. He quickly plasters on a smile, tries to smooth his frown.
Lan Xichen doesn’t seem to have noticed him tensing up and leans forward, whispering conspiratorially: “Cloud actually bit your brother a while ago. Nothing bad, just a warning. I think he was too enthusiastic in petting her.”
Wow, amazing. That’s… yes, that’s exactly the kind of information he needed to hear today. Jiang Cheng snorts a laugh. “Of course. I wouldn’t have expected anything else.”
Lan Xichen laughs softly as well, then cocks his head. “Is it okay if I mention your brother? I know your relationship seems to be a bit… strained… at the moment.”
Jiang Cheng grimaces slightly, then tries to hide it by lowering his head to focus extra hard on petting Cloud. “It’s fine. I have feelings about that whether or not anyone mentions Wei Wuxian.”
As soon as he says that, he realises how true it is. He’s such an idiot. Making his sister walk on eggshells around him. Why? For what? It doesn’t make a difference. Even if nobody says Wei Wuxian’s name for a week, he still misses him every day.
Lan Xichen nods, as though he knows exactly what Jiang Cheng means, humming his agreement, but not saying anything.
“Wei Wuxian was here then?” Jiang Cheng eventually asks. He can’t help himself.
Lan Xichen doesn’t know that Jiang Cheng never directly asks about Wei Wuxian, so he doesn’t react surprised and answers readily. “He comes by sometimes with Wangji. He’s very excited about the bunnies, but I’m afraid Cloud isn’t his biggest fan. Jade tolerates him.”
Jiang Cheng knows it’s silly to feel smug about Cloud sitting peacefully in his lap whereas she bit Wei Wuxian, but he’s done sillier things, so he’ll let himself count this as a win. “You’re a very smart bunny, aren’t you?” he whispers to Cloud. She rubs her chin on his thumb and he continues stroking her.
“We used to have a dog, but Wei Wuxian is deathly afraid of dogs, so we had to give it away. My mother didn’t allow us to have other pets. She said dogs at least had a purpose.” Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why he said that. Just like he never mentions Wei Wuxian, he also never talks about his mother. He blames it on Lan Xichen’s soothing presence - he feels like he could tell him anything and it would be okay.
“Why would animals need another purpose than existing?” Lan Xichen frowns as though he’s actually offended. Jiang Cheng is suddenly glad he won’t ever be able to meet his mother, because he can’t stand the thought of his mother saying one of her mean things that cut straight to the bone in the presence of Lan Xichen.
And isn’t that thought just a can of worms on top of a boiling volcano? Better not get any closer.
“No idea. Look at you, Cloud, you’re so cute. Nothing else is needed, right?” He lifts her up a little and smiles at her. When he looks back to Lan Xichen, he finds him staring at him again. Is he holding her wrong? He’s always making sure to support her hind legs and -
Cloud pees on him.
"Fuck!" Jiang Cheng stares at the bunny in horror, who only stares back at him as if daring him to do anything. While she fucking pees on him! But there is nothing he can do, is there? Standing up or putting down the bunny would only make things worse - he doesn’t want to ruin Lan Xichen’s beautiful hardwood floor. So he just… keeps holding her and lets her pee on his shirt and jeans. Fucking hell.
"Oh no, I'm so sorry! Don't move! I'll -" Lan Xichen jumps up, bunny still in his arms, and rushes out of the room. Then he rushes back, plucks Cloud from Jiang Cheng’s arms and brings the bunnies back to the balcony. Jiang Cheng can hear him say: "That was very rude of you! We'll talk about it later!” If he wasn’t currently covered in bunny pee, he might find that adorable.
While Lan Xichen hurries across the flat to get cleaning supplies, Jiang Cheng is just sitting on the floor, bunny pee soaking his shirt and jeans, trying not to move. All in all, he thinks, it’s an improvement over yesterday.
Lan Xichen returns with kitchen towels and normal towels and wet wipes. They both begin patting Jiang Cheng down, but… well, it’s pee.
“I’m really, really sorry. I… you should take a shower. I’ll give you a change of clothes and of course I’ll wash yours.” Lan Xichen keeps apologising and feels so obviously bad about the whole situation that Jiang Cheng in turn can’t even be mad anymore. He agrees to the shower and fresh clothes, because 1. he’s covered in pee and 2. he wants Lan Xichen to stop feeling guilty.
In the bathroom, Jiang Cheng feels like an intruder. He’s standing naked in Lan Xichen’s shower, right next to his shampoo (a very pretty and expensive looking bottle with jasmine fragrance), using his shower gel (a matching set with the shampoo). He’s going to smell like him, wear his clothes. As though… Nope, not like a boyfriend. He shouldn’t even think that. He’s just someone that got peed on by a devious bunny.
When he returns to the living room, everything is clean and tidy again. Lan Xichen is sitting on the couch, drinking tea, and lifts his head when Jiang Cheng enters the room. He starts smiling, then freezes… simply looks at him, head to toe. Probably because Jiang Cheng looks ridiculous, sleeves too long, pant legs drowning his feet.
Jiang Cheng’s neck feels hot anyway and he clears his throat. "Can you promise me to never tell Wei Wuxian about this?"
"Jiang Wanyin, nobody will ever hear a word about this," Lan Xichen solemnly promises.
Jiang Cheng sits down on his chair and sighs. Lan Xichen puts down his teacup and their eyes meet. For a second, neither of them moves. Then, Lan Xichen’s lips twitch, one corner of his mouth drawing up. Yeah… it actually is fucking funny. A laugh bubbles up Jiang Cheng’s throat and bursts out of him. Lan Xichen soon joins him. His laugh is bright and clear and probably the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
"I guess Cloud doesn't like me after all." Jiang Cheng decides to fall back on the Safe Topic, instead of staring at the marvel that is a laughing Lan Xichen.
"Oh, on the contrary! It can be a territorial thing. It's quite possible she's just claimed you. I saw that she rubbed her chin on you earlier. She definitely thinks you belong to her in some way."
"That's… I guess I should feel honored I got peed on?"
"Absolutely. There are people who'd be jealous of your status." Lan Xichen laughs and gives him a little wink. Jiang Cheng thinks this is very unfair to his feelings.
"So… What does belonging to a bunny entail? Any duties I have to fulfill? Cleaning out her cage or feeding her hay?"
"She's quite high maintenance, so it'll be all of those things. Many petting sessions will be required of you, too."
"I can do that." He knows Lan Xichen is just joking, but he certainly wouldn’t mind coming over often to spend some time with Cloud.
“She’ll be pleased, but won’t show it.” Lan Xichen laughs.
“Ah, well, I suppose it’s something we have in common.”
“You do?”
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know how to react. Has Lan Xichen not noticed how… well, how Jiang Cheng is or is he too polite to mention it? His confusion seems genuine though.
“Uhm, yes.”
Lan Xichen blinks, taken aback, then laughs awkwardly and takes a sip of his tea. Well done, Jiang Cheng, you fucking idot.
After a few seconds of horribly awkward silence, Lan Xichen clears his throat. “Would you... Do you want to stay for dinner again? It’s the least I could do after... I’m sure Cloud would be pleased to have you around longer, too. You could feed her a post-dinner treat later. Of course I’ll drive you home, too. You don’t have to take the subway in these clothes.”
Jiang Cheng nods, a little stunned. This is unexpected. “Oh, thank you. I’m sorry, I feel like I’m always troubling you and taking up your time...”
“Not at all, not at all! If anything, I’m imposing on you. It’s always nice to have company for dinner.” Lan Xichen smiles, completely genuine and sincere, though there’s an undercurrent of nervousness Jiang Cheng can’t really make sense of. “I’m afraid there’ll be no amazing soup today, though - just a plain vegetable stir fry. Would that be okay?”
“Oh, yes, sure. Anything is fine, really.”
“Right, I’ll... go prepare then.” Lan Xichen clears his throat again, stands up, gestures towards the kitchen, then walks in said direction.
“I’ll help!” Jiang Cheng follows him quickly, seeing no reason not to spend this time together while he has the opportunity.
A few minutes later, Jiang Cheng is sitting at Lan Xichen’s dinner table, chopping vegetables. Lan Xichen has turned on the radio and is humming along to the music, even though he keeps saying he doesn’t know the songs. Jiang Cheng... falls in love a little more.
Soon, the delicious smell of the stir fry fills the kitchen. Jiang Cheng has missed this. He’s always liked cooking with other people, hates cooking on his own. When he’s visiting his sister, he sometimes helps her prepare dinner, but lately he’s usually been playing with his nephew while Jiang Yanli is in the kitchen. And his visits have grown fewer, haven’t they. Because he’s afraid to run into Wei Wuxian. Which is stupid. (Like pretty much everything Jiang Cheng does.)
It’s nice to sit here in this kitchen, chatting while cooking, knowing he’ll share this meal with someone.
It’s bittersweet, of course, because this is a rare exception. There won’t be a repeat performance. Lan Xichen feels bad Jiang Cheng got peed on by his bunny. After his sessions are over, they’ll probably not see each other again. Well... what if this boyfriend of Wei Wuxian is something permanent... what if Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian actually make up eventually... he might see Lan Xichen at his sister’s for dinner or...
Fuck, he can never see Lan Xichen when Wei Wuxian is around, his brother would know. Instantly. His stupid smirk would unfurl on his face and he’d make insinuations and Jiang Yanli would catch on and say things like “Lan Xichen really is handsome, isn’t he” and ... wait, she already said that on the phone. How did she know? No, she was just stating a fact, she wasn’t...
“Would you like something to drink? I made some lemon water earlier.”
“Sure, thank you,” Jiang Cheng quickly accepts, happy to be distracted from his musings.
Lan Xichen pours him a glass of lemonade. Jiang Cheng nods his thanks, takes a sip and... starts choking immediately.
Lan Xichen looks alarmed, gets up and rubs his back while Jiang Cheng tries not to die.
"I'm okay… Ugh… everything… Fine!"
Lan Xichen keeps rubbing his back until Jiang Cheng looks up at him and Lan Xichen hastily returns to his chair.
"Ah… Is it too sour? I added more lemon juice this time. Wangji let me know Wei Wuxian found it a bit bland, so I thought -" Lan Xichen takes a sip and crinkles his nose, the most displeased he's ever looked. "Oh. Oh, that's very… I'm sorry."
"Of course it's Wei Wuxian's fault again," Jiang Cheng murmurs. Lan Xichen laughs, thinking he made a joke, and Jiang Cheng can't help but laugh too.
The food tastes delicious. Lan Xichen lines up a bunch of herbs and spices in front of him, because "We Lans usually eat our food pretty bland, I'm afraid. Sensitive stomachs". Jiang Cheng doesn't want to be rude, so he only adds a little bit of pepper. It tastes fantastic, and he tells Lan Xichen so.
After dinner, Lan Xichen drives him home again. Jiang Cheng could get used to this. To all of this. Drinking tea, snuggling bunnies, having dinner together. Seeing Lan Xichen every day. They agree to set the next session for Wednesday, however, so this time he’ll have to wait a few days.
"Thank you again, for dinner today and yesterday. And the clothes. And driving me home." Jiang Cheng turns to Lan Xichen, who is already looking at him, hands still gripping the steering wheel.
"Oh no, I really don't mind. Thank you for indulging me."
Indulging… that's quite the word choice. Jiang Cheng doesn’t really know what to say to that, so he gets out of the car, waves and returns to his flat.
Jiang Cheng spends the next couple of days realizing once again his life is really sad. The time with Lan Xichen has been the nicest thing to happen recently and it’s basically a doctor’s visit. Sort of.
On Tuesday, Lan Xichen writes him a message, asking him to postpone the next session. He writes back, “No problem!”, but wasn’t prepared for the extent of his disappointment.
The disappointment continues during his classes that day, because he hates them all. They’re so fucking boring and he does not care about his stupid ‘business’ degree whatsoever. Yet he keeps on going, keeps learning this bullshit, because… He’s too afraid to quit. And what else would he do? He wanted to do it for his dad, wanted to do what was expected of him. Even though his father never expressed the wish that Jiang Cheng should work in his business, probably never even thought he’d be good enough for that.
And now it all doesn’t matter anyway. Someone else is CEO and Jiang Cheng really, really does not want to work there. They could sell their shares, as Jiang Yanli has suggested often. And then what...
This is what he’s mulling over, forehead thunderous, headache equally as thunderous, wishing for a soothing massage and tea with Lan Xichen, stomping through the halls of the university building when…
Nie Huaisang.
He sees Nie Huaisang around uni, occasionally, but usually, Jiang Cheng turned around and fled, before Nie Huaisang could spot him too.
This time, there’s no escape. There’s no one else in this hallway. Nie Huaisang is looking straight at him.
They both stand still for a few seconds, simply staring.
“Jiang Cheng.” Nie Huaisang’s eyebrows rise slowly, as does one corner of his mouth.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t know what to do.
“Are you not running away this time?”
Fuck.
Nia Huaisang approaches him slowly, as though he’s still expecting Jiang Cheng to bolt. To be fair, he desperately wants to.
“How are you?” There, he’s the first to speak. That’s a good thing, right?
“How am I?” Nie Huaisang scoffs, then shakes his head and sends a very, very fake smile his way. “Well, I’m wonderful. Thank you for asking after a whole fucking year.”
Jiang Cheng clenches his entire body. Fuck. “Fuck, I’m sorry! I had to say something!”
Nie Haisang stares at him… then he laughs. “So, are you over it?”
“What-”
Nie Huaisang cocks his head and scoffs. “Come on.”
“I… I’m working on it, okay?!”
“Well, that’s something.” Nie Huaisang narrows his eyes for a second, then shrugs. “Come on, let’s go grab a drink.”
“It’s 2 p.m.!”
“Exactly.”
Nia Huaisang takes him by the hand and drags him out of the building. Jiang Cheng follows as in a daze. He feels like he missed a step going down the stairs, stomach jumping weirdly.
They end up in some kind of fancy ass lounge that is very much Nie Huaisang and very much empty, because it’s fucking 2 in the afternoon. Nie Huaisang greets the bartender like an old friend, while Jiang Cheng stuffs his backpack under the table, since it looks terribly out of place here. Nie Huaisang only has his phone with him. How has he not flunked uni yet? Has he taken notes even once?
Jiang Cheng orders a water, but Nie Huaisang laughs and orders them two cocktails.
“Don’t worry, Cheng-Cheng, my treat.”
Jiang Cheng has so many feelings about hearing his hated nickname he doesn’t even yell at Nie Huaisang that he’ll set his Gucci purse on fire if he calls him that again. Nie Huaisang of course notices the absence of any threats, and grins.
“Reunited and it feels so good, eh?”
“Shut up.” Jiang Cheng scowls but he can’t help but smile a little, too.
“So… How’s life?”
“Uhm… it’s… well…”
“I figured.” Nie Huaisang replies, as though one look at Jiang Cheng tells him all he needs to know about his miserable life.
The waiter brings their gigantic, colourful cocktails and a glass of water for Jiang Cheng. Nie Huaisang toasts him (‘To day drinking’) and Jiang Cheng tries a sip. It’s… tasty.
“This actually tastes very good, I can’t even taste the alcohol.”
“Because yours doesn’t have any, you dipshit. Do you think I want to have to deal with your maudlin drunk ass later? No thank you.” Nie Huaisang gives him a look. His eyebrows are still too powerful - they only need to twitch a little and Jiang Cheng feels seen and judged for what has been seen.
“Hey, I cried one time when I was drunk! One time!”
“You mean you only remember one time.”
“Whatever.”
Nie Huaisang takes a sip from his bends straw, then says, very casually: “So… have you talked to Wei Wuxian?”
“No.”
“Are you going to?” Nie Huaisang isn’t even looking at him, he’s playing with the fruit skewer of his cocktail. Jiang Cheng is grateful for that.
“... I’m thinking about it.”
“Alright,” is all Nie Huaisang says, nods, then changes the topic. “So, how are your massages going?”
“What the fuck? How do you know about that?”
“I have my sources.” Nie Huaisang smirks. “So? Is it relaxing? Getting worked over by Xichen-ge?”
Jiang Cheng chokes. He wasn’t even drinking anything, he’s choking on his own spit. “Fuck… ugh… why… why do you have to say it like that!?”
“No reason.” Nie Huaisang bats his eyelashes and takes a sip of his drink. “Is he loosening you up?”
Jiang Cheng buries his face in his hands. “Please don’t… I can’t believe I… Ugh.”
“My, my, why is your face so red?"
"No fucking reason, Huaisang."
"Mhm, do you still have a crush on him?"
Jiang Cheng puts his head on the table. Nie Huaisang cackles.
The next time he sees the waiter, Jiang Cheng waves him over and orders shots.
An hour or so later, they’re leaving the lounge and Jiang Cheng has put his arm through Nie Huaisang’s to support him while walking. Huaisang drank so much, he needs someone to lean on. Huaisang. Jiang Cheng can lean on Huaisang. A-Sang. Didi. A-di. Sang-Sang.
“This is why I didn’t want you to drink,” Nie Huaisang whines as he leads them over to a park bench. When did they enter the park?
“You’re the one who drank!”
“And you’re the one who got drunk!”
“Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. No. I’m not.” Jiang Cheng tips his head back. “I’m just a little tired.”
“Whatever you say. Anyway, I’m not gonna drag you all the way to your flat, I’m not getting all sweaty for you. So either we sit here until you sober up or I’ll call you a cab or something.”
“I am sober.” Jiang Cheng whips his head up to glare at Nie Huaisang and… his world spins a little. “Mostly. Fuck.”
Nie Huaisang grins at him. “Or I could call Xichen-ge to come pick you up.”
“Do you think he would come?!” Jiang Cheng asks. Fuck, he really is drunk, isn’t he? “I mean… Don’t you dare! He has better things to do, why would you… also, I wouldn’t want that. To see him. Outside.”
There, he totally saved that.
“Riiiiiiight. So, on a scale of one to ten, how badly do you want to make out with him?”
“Twelve.” Fuck. “I meant… Just in a… theoretically, you know? Like, if I were someone else and… Do I, Jiang Cheng, want to make out with Lan Xichen? I mean, yes, but no, I meant no… more like, would I, a human being, make out with Lan Xichen? Of course the answer is yes, because I am a human being, you know? But me, personally, Jiang Cheng… that’s, that’s something different, like if I were not also a human being, you know? So, there. That’s your answer!”
“Sweetie, you have it bad, don’t you?” Nie Huaisang, unlike Lan Xichen, has no problem with making super clear when he thinks you’re pitiful.
Jiang Cheng drags his hand down his face and sighs. “I don’t have it. I don’t have anything. This is no different. Just… I’m just weak and lonely and he’s nice and warm.” Jiang Cheng puts his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands. Suddenly, all energy leaves him. It’s true. He doesn’t have anything at all. No one.
“Oh no, here we go…” Nie Huaisang mumbles next to him.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t reply, because he’s too busy trying not to cry. What is wrong with him these days?
Suddenly, a warm hand comes to rest on top of his head. Starts stroking his hair.
“Jiang Cheng, listen to me.” Nie Huaisangs voice is calm and serious. That’s very rare. “You may be lonely, but you’re not alone. There are many people who love you, who miss you.”
Yeah, now he’s crying. Fuck.
“Xian-ge misses you, too.”
“What if he doesn’t? What if I’ve ruined it forever?” At least he’s not sobbing this time.
“You haven’t.”
Huaisang keeps stroking his hair. Jiang Cheng wants to tell him to stop, it’s embarrassing, he’s not a child, he’s…
“Why are you even here, with me? Shouldn’t you hate me?” He presses his hands closer against his face, too scared to look at Nie Huaisang.
“A-Cheng. Nobody hates you. Nobody. Least of all Wei Wuxian.”
“I hate me.” There, he said it. It’s the truth. Then he starts sobbing.
Nie Huaisang keeps stroking his hair until he’s calmed down. Why does he keep doing this? Completely losing it in front of other people? First Lan Xichen, now Nie Huaisang…
“I told you that you’re a maudlin drunk. You didn’t believe me.”
Jiang Chang can’t help but laugh. It sounds pitiful through the sobs, but it’s a laugh.
“Even more reason to get over yourself and call Wei Wuxian. You’ll find that he doesn’t hate you after all and maybe you can hate yourself less after.”
Nie Huaisang sounds so… pragmatic. As if it really was that easy. Maybe it is. Jiang Cheng wipes his face with his sleeve and finally dares to look at him.
Nie Huaisang gives him an understanding smile, a sincerity that lasts only for a second. Then he grins. “Damn, you look awful.”
“Thanks ever so much.” Jiang Cheng has to laugh again.
Nie Huaisang wipes a few more tears from his face, also using Jiang Cheng’s sleeve. “Don’t worry, you’re still pretty.”
“What a relief.” Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes. But he’s also grateful to Nie Huaisang. For being himself. For being here. “A-Sang, I…”
“Oh no, no way. Don’t do that to me. We’re going to forget this ever happened, okay? I didn’t see anything, you didn’t hear anything.”
Jiang Cheng pulls him close and gives him a crushing hug.
“Hey, what did I just say?!”
“I missed you,” Jiang Cheng mumbles into Nie Huaisang’s hair. There’s an awful lot of hair, some getting into his mouth. Nie Huaisang won’t be happy about that.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake… Just don’t cry on my shirt, I have a hot date this evening.”
Jiang Cheng eventually returns to his flat, mostly sober. It’s not even time for dinner yet and he feels as though this day has had 36 hours.
Nie Huaisang Cheng-Cheng all sober now? just wanted to say if you like Xichen-ge then you don’t have to do it quietly you’re very sweet when you’re in love don’t worry you deserve it, too just go for it if you reply to this message, I’ll kill you
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sepublic · 4 years
Note
You know, I really like Amelia’s design. Also she seems pretty chill.
           I love her, I remember specifically pointing this girl out after Hooty’s Moving Hassle aired as a very obvious reference to Saria from Ocarina of Time (which is a game that Dana Terrace herself loves), and that just made her instantly lovable to me! I love her pointy little nose, it reminds me of the beak of a hummingbird, which ties in with the motif of the Plant Track she belongs to!
           I’ve got some headcanons and speculation about her in the past… Specifically, it’s worth noting that Amelia seems to have been playing Grudgby with Boscha, longer than anyone else! We see her playing on the team during the flashback, during a VERY important Island Championship… And we see her continue playing, even now! Meanwhile, Skara seems to be a reserve player, and Cat… Well, either she was a reserve player back then, or she joined recently to fill in the space left by Amity’s absence! Probably the latter, we know Skara has been hanging out with Boscha since they were little kids.
           And given how much Grudgby means to someone as competitive as Boscha, you KNOW she’d only prioritize having the best of the best on her team! She seems like the kind of person who’d put aside friendships to have the most skilled players with her… Which leads me to believe that there’s lowkey a certain trust between her and Amelia, as both are talented players! Hence, my headcanon as Amelia having been a sports kid who introduced Boscha and Amity to Grudgby.
          Even if Boscha and Amelia aren’t exactly close because it’s Boscha we’re talking about here, there’s still a special comradery between the two as veteran Grudgby players who have been around since the very beginning… With Amelia being by Boscha’s side on the field, longer than anyone else! Not to mention, her and Skara were hanging out with Boscha at the Treasure Shack when Cat wasn’t… Which doesn’t necessarily have to mean anything, but considering what little content we have, and the Grom photos- I like to also see Cat as a relative newcomer to the friend group. The way I see it, Boscha met Skara first, then Amity, afterwards Amelia, and finally Cat!
           Similarly, I like to think that Amelia was one of the first to reconsider her stance on Willow; Given how Willow moved into her track, Amelia would’ve likely been the first to see just how skilled Willow actually was! Especially after Willow saved her from that carnivorous plant in Episode 9… While it could just be Willow being kind to a bully, I like to think that up until then, Amelia was someone who never directly bullied Willow, or at least quietly went along with it because that’s what Boscha did! Otherwise she had no ill will towards Willow, and Willow recognized this!
           Of course, then comes Wing it like Witches… Boscha takes Willow ‘stealing’ her fame as a very personal threat, and so Amelia’s internally remarking “Here we go AGAIN,” as she decides to just shut up and not say anything, and let Boscha do her thing and get it over with. Amelia’s not particularly a fan of this, but Boscha is likely the kind of person who forces friends to ‘prioritize her’, saying that friends should support one another no matter what, especially if the alternative is picking the side of some lowly stranger! Boscha is likely someone who’s made it clear in the past that taking someone else’s side, even if Boscha is in the wrong, is tantamount to betrayal…
           Plus, with how threatening Boscha is, I imagine Skara (who we already know can be kind and sweet in her own way), Amelia, and Cat just sort of went with it. Not outright against the bullying, but if left to their own devices, would just let people like Luz and Willow happily exist. On another note, I’m not sure if Amelia is necessarily from an upper-class family or not… Given what I said about Boscha prioritizing victory in Grudgby above all else, she seems like the kind of person who’d ignore class barriers if it meant recruiting a skilled player! Especially since she’s already a troublemaker, doesn’t seem to care much for academics, and is clearly irreverent towards her own mother and is even able to say no to her!
           Also, Amelia being VERY obsessive about fictional book series, to the point where she swears on trashing anything that remotely disappoints her, because she’s staking THAT much of an emotional claim onto it… It’s low-key something I can relate to, albeit not to the same extreme extent as Amelia! I like to think that she developed a grudge against King after he failed to deliver on the Ruler’s Reach sequel… So when King showed up to tell jokes during Grom, Amelia was VERY vocal in her booing of him, and had half the mind to get vengeance for her heartbreak. Luckily, her friends convinced her otherwise.
           I like to think Amelia and Boscha also went to Grom as each other’s dates! I know people have pointed out Amelia talking to the Mouth-Headed girl, and while that IS cute… Technically speaking, we see the Mouth-Head girl intimately close with some other kid beforehand, and I’m pretty sure we see kids who have dates with other talks to different classmates as well. Plus, I think it makes sense- Amelia is likely Boscha’s second-closest friend, and Skara and Cat already have confirmed dates! Boscha cares about social status, so going to Grom without a date would probably be unthinkable… And when Grometheus escaped, Cat and Skara went outside to follow, but Amelia stayed behind to wait for Boscha, who was late, and who she did NOT want to disappoint!
           ...Then again, Boscha going with Bo and Selene is also an option, especially since she takes photos with them before Mattholomule interrupts! Either way, it’s fun to speculate on the lives of these various side-characters and students… There’s not a lot to work with, but it coincidentally leaves a LOT of room and space to make stuff up! And what little we DO get, forms a minor, yet cohesive, narrative! I like to think that Amelia plans to become a professional Grudgby athlete like Boscha in the future…
          Whether or not Cat will join them, I can’t say for sure! Of course, given my past headcanons… Maybe Amelia is also considering NOT doing that, and just getting to play Grugdby on her own terms, for fun! But she’s not exactly fully-considering this idea, it’s mostly a minor thought in the back of her head that sprung up after Luz’s good sportsmanship helped Amelia reconsider things… But Amelia would STILL be throwing an entire future she had already planned for and worked towards for years, and she may not be willing to dedicate her life to some random job in the Plant Coven.
          As far as Amelia is concerned, she’ll probably keep with her original plans to become a professional athlete, and maybe fine time in-between matches and training, somehow, to just have good old-fashioned fun in Grudgby. Like a lot of people in this show, Amelia’s life was lowkey changed when Luz came into play, and like many other students, Amelia has a lot of anxieties and indecision over the final choice she’ll make before graduation. Like I said before, the Coven System is pretty messed-up in how it forces kids to decide the rest of their lives from such a young and formative age!
           (Not to shamlesssly self-plug, but I have a fanfic that includes Amelia as a minor character. Basically it serves to implement my headcanons about her into Amelia’s role in Boscha’s life- It was written prior to Agony of a Witch, and later I edited her name from the placeholder Sarya, to the one Dana confirmed!)
          Amelia is also present during the field trip to Belos’ castle, and she’s present in the crowd during Eda’s petrification… Her and Skara were vouching for Eda’s freedom alongside the rest as well, and cheered when her, Luz, King, and Lilith got away! Given all of the other stuff I mentioned before, I imagine Amelia might have SOME issues with the Coven System… Especially amidst past speculation on its potential impact on Grudgby as a professional career, not to mention how it’s forcing her into that complicated situation I headcanoned about! I don’t recall seeing Cat in the crowd, but I DID see Bo…
          It’d be interesting if Amelia and Skara brought up their stance against Belos later in the future, and how that might affect their friendship with Boscha and Cat respectively. Bo is in the same track as Cat, so maybe Cat would also be convinced to take an anti-Belos stance as well… And Boscha is already pretty anti-authority and ALSO could have thoughts on the Coven System, given my speculation on its relationship with Grudgby. It’d be fascinating to see, but at the same time, I could also see Boscha not wanting to defy the ‘natural order’ and be labelled an outcast and a loser by defying the Coven System.
          Kids like Amelia, Skara, and Bo definitely come across as more compassionate, or at least considerate of others, than Boscha… Hence their more vocal opposition to Belos! And hey- If Luz, who was a total rookie to Grudgby, could wound Belos… Then is this guy really so invincible? Obviously Luz and her team beat Amelia and the others (not counting the Rusty Smide), but it was a narrow victory, and ultimately the point is that Emperor Belos isn’t such an invincible witch, after all. Maybe a successful revolution IS possible…!
         Regardless, I really hope we get to see more of her, Skara, and Cat in the future! Who knows, maybe like Skara, Amelia and Cat will get a little extra spotlight later on... Although given how Dana mentioned how the names were from the crew and not necessarily set-in-stone, we’d probably have to wait until Season 3 for anything extra or substantial, assuming the crew would even prioritize in that in favor of other more important characters and plot threads!
           Also I like to think that Amelia had a close friend named Alrick who died in a horrific dirtbiking accident and now she’s low-key considering necromancy and other morally-questionable means in order to bring him back please watch Infinity Train
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shibalen · 3 years
Note
Hi! I’m so sorry about the earlier request! I misread the rules (._. ) I’d like to request from Akatsuki No Yona and Haikyuu. I prefer a romantic type of matchup. I’m a Capricorn and infp. I have a fairly large social circle and quite talkative with others. But there are times I prefer my own time and silence. I trust people easily and am loyal to my friends. I’m a left hander. My hobbies are writing, reading and watching anime. I listen to various types of music. It depends on my mood. (😁)
I’m a literature student and love to learn about technology. I have three cats and one dog. I adore animals, even insects but not spiders XD. I like dark colours and dark themed movies and stories. My ideal type of date is chilling inside a cafe or walking along a forest or a silent place talking with each other. I’m into carefree guys who get serious in the time of need. (😁)
The type of a guy who would dance around with me in the kitchen and jam to songs with me in the car and also be there when I have a breakdown. I’m an impatient fellow and tend to lose my focus easily. I’d like to request music box and dark box uwu. That’s it! Thanks! And sorry again for the earlier request! Love your blog! (😁)
♡︎ matchup for 😁anon
heya howdy doodle doo! how're you? i hope you didn't get too tired of waiting and actually see this. hehe. i gave these results lots of thought so i'm happy if you like them too!
akatsuki no yona: i match you with . . .
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jae-ha !!
• you guys match so well i can't— your zodiacs, mbti, personality and your type of person are simply pointing at Jae-ha with a big red arrow!
• Jae-ha is chill and social by nature. that paired with your love for talking with people makes you a really social couple. i can easily picture the two of you being the life of most conversations.
• also when there's a crisis or any more serious situation going on you're both usually the ones to calm others down. your presence makes them feel at ease and honestly Jae-ha admires that so much in you ♡︎
• he knows he can trust you with his burdens and count on you to be there for him. he may not always voice them out loud but you know he needs your comfort when he silently lays his head on your shoulder.
• of course this goes both ways and he will never let you be alone during a breakdown. somehow he always finds the right things to say or do to help you find yourself again. his voice is deep and soothing and he will happily put it to use if it makes you feel at ease.
• though he does have a sharper intuition when it comes to strangers and therefore makes sure nobody takes advantage of you. however there was definitely one time where he let you buy something extremely overpriced just to tease you about it later
• the worse the scam the more poisonous the words he speaks to them with that lazy smile. then he escorts you away while waving a hand.
• "you have to be more careful, flower. i don't want some guy eventually making you give your heart away too, " he flirts
• "too late," you respond. "this one green-haired guy with stupid jokes already has it."
• BOOM
• ahem.
• at first you thought he was the worst case of a womanizer, and you preferred your possible partner to reciprocate your loyalty. unfortunately otherwise he was just your type so you couldn't help but be drawn to him.
• Jae-ha was attracted to you too from your smart and fun personality to your hobbies and taste in music. he loved how you stood your ground yet how flexible you were with your likes.
• obviously he didn't give up on you despite your little façade. he proved his loyalty runs deeper than most when he's fallen for the right person. you're his special, dear person and won't let anything or anyone come between that.
• will wear matching dark outfits with you! claims it's not his style but likes it surprisingly a lot. you might do ridiculous poses just to embarrass Hak.
• can be heckin annoying when it comes to your writing though. "are you going to write me into your story? of course you are ;)" "is the main character me?" don't get him wrong, he adores your writing and that's why he gets so excited about it. other times he does it on purpose to get your attention smh
• overall, light-headed teasing is something he will always do just to see you flustered. it's so adorable he can't help it. leaning in extra close to you while you're cooking together, highkey boasting about you to his friends, starting and winking at you, plus all sorts of cheesy one-liners.
• but Jae-ha is smart and knows when to give you space. when you're ready to interact again he's already prepared for a date!
• Jae-ha is romantic even on daily basis, bringing you flowers or small trinkets that he knows you like. just seeing you smile at his loving gestures makes his cheeks warm and heart beat fast (though he tries not to show it)
• please listen to him playing the erhu, he does it especially for you. when you're out on a rooftop on a moonlit night he'll serenade you with his songs.
• your dates include: walks around the outskirts of towns, moongazing, him leaping through the sky with you securely in his arms, dinner at different inns and travens with music and parties or by a bonfine and you two just being silly. also creative activities like pottery and sketching ♡︎
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❦︎ ink box
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— this happened before your relationship even started, back when Jae-ha first realised his feelings for you.
— you wouldn't expect it, but he struggled with these emotions a lot. this was the first time he had ever felt this way towards anybody, after all. his natural reaction was to distance himself from you because he was scared, whether he admitted it to himself or not.
— he was afraid of being tied down and tying you down. he knew love required commitment and you valued loyalty. he dreaded he wouldn't be good enough for you, instead becoming the source of your pain. you deserved much more than he was, and he was a coward.
— there was also the problem of putting you in danger because of the group's mission. any injury you'd get would be his fault and that was too much a thought to bare.
— he thought he was being smooth avoiding you, preparing for his leave without hurting you. he thought. but you were smarter, you knew Jae-ha was kind. he wouldn't do this to hurt you—not after all those fun memories you'd made together!
— refusing to beat around the bush, you tried confronting him. however, by that time he'd already set out to the next destination. he had left, without a word of goodbye.
— thankfully, Zeno was the quickest to notice Jae-ha's broken demeanor. it was heartbreak which he himself knew too well. he pulled the green dragon aside the next evening as they were gathering wood and stubly hinted Jae-ha shouldn't do anything he would regret for the rest of his life.
— the rest of the gang was quick to join after Kija happened to overhear the conversation. they all (even Ao) swore to take care of you if Jae-ha wouldn't be able to.
— you were halfway up the mountain chasing after him when Jae-ha landed directly in front of you. he was out of breath and dishevelled but the desperate glint in his eye shone brighter than any star in the sky.
— you embraced and shared a sweet kiss under the night sky. he apologised more times than you could count but after almost shattering your heart you didn't let him off the hook that easily. well, he had the rest of his life with you to make it up to you ♡︎
♡︎ runner up: Hak
⋆*・゚:⋆*・゚:⠀ *⋆.*:・゚ .: ⋆*・゚: .⋆
haikyuu: i match you with . . .
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rintaro suna !!
• Suna is a little different from the previous match but my instincts told me to put you together regardless! i think your personalities balance each other out while sharing the same core basics.
• you're both laid-back and have no problems interacting with people but still like your alone time. as in infp you seek new knowledge and Suna, being the smartass he is, will never bore you. he can be both silent and talkative, whichever you prefer.
• will definitely join you in being social but in a subtle way. he'll stand/sit next to you with an arm around you while you're talking to your friends. really chill but also knows how to hold a conversation and chime in with a clever comment.
• once he notices you becoming tired he casually steers you away from the rest, saying you two have to go now. how is this guy so smooth? really though he just wants to be alone together with you.
• you guys met when your social groups came together. it's that 'friend of a friend of a friend' chain and thus somehow you ended up going to one of his games because a person you knew didn't want to go alone.
• they knew Kita so y'all went to congratulate him on the win later. he then introduced you the team and therefore, of course, Suna.
• you thought he was pretty and you chatted a bit but nothing much happened. it was through these continuous meetings afterward that eventually pshed you two together ♡︎
• you had so much to talk about! stories, technology, hobbies, music, a little gossip. he liked how opinionated you were and how much you knew, then found it amusing how easily distracted you got.
• his advances were really subtle yet continuous and efficient! though some of them were kind of teasing. made sure you were comfortable with your friendship first before stating his exact feelings for you.
• Suna isn't afraid of pda and if you are too, he'll be holding your hand, having you sit on his lap, giving you kisses on your face and hand. yet although others mifht see, it feels as though every touch is a secret language meant for bust the two of you.
• his advice is quite blunt but he does it out of love, plus his actions are much softer and really patient when you're at rock-bottom. i assure you anyone neglecting your feelings is not safe.
• you're both into dark-themed stuff! y'all go to movies, festivals, bookshops and alike looking so hella aesthetic, i swear. what a beautiful couple (☆ω☆)
• your pets love Suna after they've gotten used to him. sometimes when he comes over the cats will come chill around him. it's like he's one of them and it's hilarious. you have a bunch of pictures on your phone of him and your dog.
• you like showing those photos off to his teammates because they're just that good, but instead of getting embarrassed Suna will either just agree or jokingly ask why haven't you made it your background yet.
• overtime he's learnt how to keep your focus from going too astray, though you can't say he's always vigilant himself. he slacks off during boring lectures and would much rather talk to you. the teacher had to seperate you pfft—
• can and will jam to all times of music with you in the kitchen, even if just ironically. one time his little sister caught the two of you vibing to an opera preformance and homeboy just shrugged it off and continued because you both thought it was funny.
• your dates include: going on hikes especially after a stressful period (Suna most definitely did not look up the best places near your home and prepared your favorite snacks), cat cafés, staying at home and cooking a meal cause this boy probably only knows how to pour water over noodles, and long drives and blasting music ♡︎
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♫︎ music box
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— I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys
— Caroline by Crash Adams
— Blinding Lights by The Weekend
— Your Dog Loves You by Colde
— Hey Boy by Sia (what you'd jokingly lip-sync to for him)
♡︎ runner up: Atsumu Miya
thank you so much for requesting and i apologise for the huge delay (ಥ﹏ಥ) still, i hope you enjoyed! have a lovely day and please stay safe ♡︎
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rikerxworf · 4 years
Text
☆. Meta: Frame of Mind ⭒*
Despite it being quite dark in its tone and themes, I felt like writing about this episode, s6e21. It has some very nice Worfriker moments that say a lot about their canon relationship. In fact, I’d argue that if you put on your shipping goggles, it’s one of their ‘shippiest’ episodes (´ ᵕ ` *)
! Trigger warnings for abusive treatments of mental illness, and violence !
Plot summary: For one of Beverly’s plays, Will rehearses the role of a mentally ill character in an asylum. He’s afraid of screwing up but tries rather eagerly to nail his dialogue. Meanwhile, Picard wants him to find a lost Federation science team on an anarchistic alien planet, and Will gets briefed on the undercover mission by Worf, who seems downright anxious to secure Will’s safety during the operation. Unintendedly, he cuts Will with a knife.
Will slowly grows more paranoid and restless, and eventually finds himself trapped in the alien asylum from the play, where the doctors say that he was a killer and was having hallucinations about a Starship. Will agrees to let himself be treated with ‘reflection therapy’, where it turns out that Picard, Troi and Worf each represent a part of his personality. Attempts by the Enterprise crew wanting to rescue Will fall flat because by now, he is convinced that he’s imagining all of this and really ‘insane’.
He finally escapes the illusion on his own, waking in an alien lab, and manages to reach the communicator Worf gave him to have the Enterprise beam him up to safety – turns out he had been abducted during his mission and experimented on. The pain and images he saw were his mind trying to keep him same, Troi explains. In the end, Will clears the stage for the play with his bare hands because he could not sleep knowing it was still up.
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Despite Will being such a humorous character, his character episodes can be really dark, and “Frame of Mind” is surely one of TNG’s darkest episodes overall. However, there are really sweet strands drawn throughout it, namely Will’s connection to his fellow crewmates. And Worf’s is the most interesting one to me, so it will be the focus of my text *:・゚✧
Which brings me to my first point – we don’t see the real Worf in this episode at all. Everything before the lab scene takes place entirely in Will’s head as he’s being experimented on for strategic information that’s being pulled directly from his brain, so much so that he’s close to ‘becoming insane’. In retrospect, this is really important for the interpretation of the previous scenes, because at the end of the episode, Deanna explains that
“Your mind must have created a defense mechanism that helped you resist the neurosomatic process. Your unconscious fastened on to elements of your real life in an attempt to keep you grounded, to keep you sane.”
So, everything we see is not a one-to-one reliving of Will’s memories, but rather an idealized version that his mind fabricated to “keep him grounded” and comforted, I might add. Deanna talking to Will in Ten Forward, Beverly caring for his mental health, Data complementing him on his performance – those are all very comforting experiences for Will.
And oh, not to mention – the mission briefing scene alone with Worf. Oh, Lord, this scene. It serves as clever foreshadowing AND plays like textbook fanfic to be honest, and I mean that in a thoroughly good way: flirty Will, grumpy Worf, irritated Will, flustered Worf.
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When I first watched it, I was super taken aback by how extremely protective Worf was about Will. When Will keeps making nonchalant comments throughout the briefing, Worf reacts in strong disapproval, saying
“I suggest you pay closer attention, Commander. Your life will be at stake. Do you understand what I am saying?”
Like, chill dude sdfjskdsk – That was my initial reaction! Will’s comments were in good will after all. At first, he says “That’s a lot of land for one man to cover. I guess I’d better pack an extra pair of boots” with a small smile, and Worf just… sighs sdfjskdsk. (On a sidenote, I discovered the American expression ‘knocking boots’ through Star Trek, and now every time I hear it the word ‘boots’ I remember it, which is not very helpful if it’s accompanied by William T. Riker’s smile toward Worf).
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Afterwards, Worf shows Will the alien outfit that he will use for his alien disguise, and hands him the communicator, hid in a pendant. And Will literally goes, “Hmmm doesn't really match the outfit”, after which Worf suggests he’d pay “closer attention” because “his life will be at stake”, making Will straighten up to say “I do [understand what you’re saying]”.
It’s… a lot. But we’re not done yet, because Worf continues by showing Will the nisroh, the knife used for the traditional bartering ceremony that will complete Will’s disguise. It’s a very pretty looking knife, and Worf seemingly takes a lot of delight in showing Will how to move it. It’s… really cute, actually.
But then he cuts Will, and needless to say, when I first saw it I thought, man, the budget can not possibly be this low. Because it doesn’t look like a cut from a knife at all! It’s just a round wound on his temple, like a circle. And also – Jonathan Frakes’ acting isn’t that fucking bad. William looks absolutely horrified by what just happened; the look in his eyes is so uneasy that it left me really perplexed. Of course, everything clears up as we near the episode’s end: The wound never was Will getting cut by Worf’s knife, it was the circular plug the aliens used to extract information from his brain. And the horrified look was probably coupled to the immense pain Will felt from the extraction and the feeling that something wasn’t right.
Which is super intriguing, because the pain from the knife is eventually what drives him back to his former self, out of the circle of delusions, but more on that later. I want to close on the briefing scene by calling to everyone’s attention Worf’s cute reaction to the ‘cut’: he looks DEVASTATED sjdfksk
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The gasp, the flustered and breathy way he apologizes, plus Will cutting him off by saying “it’s okay” – I love it, what can I say. I love it even more when I imagine that, in the real briefing, Worf never cut Will, and this situation only occurred in his mind to “keep him grounded”. It’s… a lot, as I said. Especially considering that “a Klingon who had cut me with a knife” is one of the first things Will remembers in the asylum.
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The asylum scenes have been pure terror to me, in a very horror film kind of way. When Will gets trapped there first, it’s bad, apart from a few things he remembers (like Worf). But when he returns there, running across the Enterprise’s corridors, terrified, thinking he had returned safely to his quarters but actually finding himself in the ward yet again – poor Will screams “No!” and “Let me out of here!”, which would have been a perfectly okay time to cut to black. But they didn’t.
To break everyone’s heart, they showed him sinking down against the door, quietly crying “Help me”, which… don’t worry, we’ll come back to. “Help” is an important word in this script.
Earlier in the asylum, the alien doctor explains to Will why he is here. He is accused of having murdered someone and behaving extremely violent, as one of the alien guards explains:
“I remember when they brought you in. You were struggling, screaming. We could barely hold you down. In fact, just getting the blood off your hands took over an hour.”
I’ll get back to this description later. It is also mentioned that Will murdered the person with a knife, stabbing them “nine times”. We later learn that was Will fighting his abductors with the nisroh Worf had given him.
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Let’s go to another important scene, the ‘reflection therapy’. The alien doctor scans Will’s head with a device that projects different aspects of Will’s mind as holographic images that, in Will’s case, take the form of his Enterprise colleagues.
When the doctor asks Will to describe his feelings during the murder – in reality: the abduction, but Will doesn’t know that at this point – Deanna materializes and says she (Will) was “terrified”. The doctor explains to Will that Deanna represents the part of his mind dealing with “feelings”. And when he asks about “actions”, an image of Worf appears, and the first thing he says is that he (Will) was “angry”. Worf representing Will’s actions is interesting if you recall how much of a fight Will had put up when he was to be brought to the asylum, struggling and screaming.
The third image of his mind, Picard, represents some sort of rational thinking.
Soon, the reflection of feelings says, “Don’t believe this, Will. None of it’s real”, with the Picard reflection adding, “You can trust us. Everything will be all right”. Will calls them delusions when the doctors asks him if he had something to say to those comments. And then Worf goes,
“Do not listen to him, Commander. He is trying to trick you. You are in danger here.”
Notice how Worf keeps telling Will that he is not safe now. He said it before during the briefing, he says it now, and he will say it again when he and Data try to save Will. Which kind of has me wondering – does Worf really ‘just’ represent Will’s actions? It sounds to me as though he’s the part of Will’s mind that grants him safety and protection, but hey that’s just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, the quote from above is not all the reflection says. After a brief cut to Will, there’s a close-up of Worf, saying
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BOOM. For those unaware, these words are special in Trek. See, in the brilliant TOS episode “The City on the Edge of Forever”, James Kirk explains that “a famous novelist” wrote a classic in which they recommended the words “let me help” even over “I love you”, which kind of made these words carry a special meaning among Trekkies. (It also didn’t help that Spock said them to Kirk in the very next fucking episode, followed by Kirk proclaiming “I need you, Spock”. It’s a lot.)
One could argue that Worf’s reflection doesn’t explicitly say “let me help” but “let us help you”. But what difference does it make, really? It’s not Worf saying these words, it’s a reflection of the part of Will’s mind that is represented by Worf. In this context, I wouldn’t give the pronouns too much emphasis. Basically, it’s Will’s need of safety telling him that he is loved and not alone. It’s honestly very touching (´ ᵕ ` *)
However, after talking to him more and more, Will does not want to see these reflections anymore. He chases them away with a loud “no”, clearly distraught by what he just saw.
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In the night following the ‘reflection therapy’, Will is woken by Data and Worf breaking into his ward to help him escape to the common area, where they have placed transporter pattern enhancers to beam him back to the Enterprise. Remember, none of this really happens, it’s all Will’s mind trying to “keep him grounded”. Worf says, “You must come with us, you are in danger here”, which, as I pointed out before, makes him sound like he is Will’s sense of protection or something.
However, Will does not want to go with them, because he still believes the Enterprise crew are delusions of his ill mind. Again, he loudly cries “Help me!” (notice a pattern here?), which makes two guards appear. They are quickly overtaken by Data and Worf, who still fight for Will even though he had turned his back on them. They then proceed to beam up to the Enterprise. I kind of think they chose these two characters as the rescuers because they were the only ones strong enough to hold William T. Riker in case he protested, which he did. However, only Worf is present in the next scene, sickbay, while Data is gone.
Beverly examines Will and treats the round wound on his temple – somehow, it had reappeared. Knowing that it’s the plug connected to real-life Will on the lab table, things now get interesting: The wound closes and reopens instantly. Will notices this illogic, and the pain keeps resurfacing as Worf and Picard explain that Will has been abducted on his undercover mission. The same wound Will thought had been inflicted on him by Worf and the knife. Exclaiming “This isn’t real!”, he knocks Worf out, takes his phaser and shots himself – because the phaser isn’t real, right?
On the next level of delusion, with the doctors and guard gaslighting Will, the pain on his temple resurfaces again, and again on the third level of delusion when he’s told to “stop fighting”. I’m sorry, but that’s a very clear line here: The pain that Will thought had been given to him by Worf (i.e. his “actions” / his ‘need for safety’) is what keeps him on the right track, namely that none of this is real.
When he’s about to give up, wearily asking “What’s happening to me…?”, the alien doctor tells him, “Listen to me. We can still save you, but you must stop fighting us”, followed by Will gasping in pain and declaring that he’s being lied to because the pain is still there.
And boy, now the ASSHOLE ALIEN DOCTOR says to him “let me help you”, which makes Will go feral. He screams and fights the doctor and the stage set, finally making him wake in-real-life, on a lab table with a cable plugged into his temple, where the wound had been all along.
I’m… Okay, listen. Even if you deny the subtext of a Worf-reflection saying “let us help you”, the contrast to the villain saying “let me help you” and Will’s reaction to it speak for themselves. He had wanted help throughout this episode. Being offered it by his friends made him speechless, but being offered it by the one who abused him all this time is what agitates Will so much that he returns to reality. I know the script was kind of last-minute, but parallels like this must be intentional.
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So, now Will is finally back in reality, for the first time in this episode. He looks around and finds the equipment he’s been given by Worf before the mission and manages to reach it before the scientists can get a hold of him. He activates the pendant’s communicator and is answered by – Worf. Who proceeds to beam him up. This is the only time ‘real Worf’ is in this episode, and it’s only his voice. But boy, after going through so much bullshit, can you imagine what Will must feel like hearing this voice? Oh, I know: safe. It’s another point in the theme of ‘protectiveness’ that Will and Worf have going on in this episode.
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Also, do you notice how Will takes the knife in his left hand and the pendant in his right? I don’t know if he’s supposed to be left-handed, because unless he is, holding a knife in your weak hand isn’t that much of a fighting advantage. But Will still goes for the pendant first, to call Worf who gave him the communicator in the first place. Plus the alien doctor watches the nisroh with such fear it’s an actual delight shdfjksk
The nisroh as a symbol is so intriguing. It’s not what gets Will into all of this, like we first think when Worf injures Will with it. It’s the thing that he uses to fight his abductors and that ultimately gets him out of there. The resurfacing pain it inflicted (in Will’s mind, that is) and the threatening gesture help Will return to the real Enterprise, where he dismantles the stage ward with such violence it really makes you think about all the times he tried to escape the ward by pushing away its walls.
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So, yeah, that’s my take on “Frame of Mind”! There are really nice and sweet moments in this otherwise rather disturbing episode, for example ‘Worf’ saying “let us help you” in that firm voice of his (´ ∀ ` *)
More than that though, I think this story is very intimate because 95% of it take place in Will’s head. His subconscious, as Deanna explains it, argues that he and Worf are ultimately connected by protectiveness. Either that, or Will just likes to think of Worf as someone who worries a lot about him lol. It’s Worf who keeps warning him of danger, making him fight and ultimately making him return to safety. That even extends keeping him “grounded” and “sane” if you ask me.
Thank you for reading this spontaneous outpouring haha! Please tell me your thoughts about it, or other episodes you find interesting! ♡
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How to Navigate the World of Online ESL
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Written by Gina Gainous
The purpose of this article is to share detailed information about the most popular online ESL companies, along with some of my personal experiences and anecdotes from other teachers I’ve come across in Facebooks groups and teaching blogs. Before we get started, I’ll give a small self introduction. I’m a biracial woman from the United States with a Bachelor’s Degree in English as a Second Language Education (K-12) and my TESOL certificate. I worked in various schools in my hometown and abroad for the first two years of my career. Nowadays, I work 100% remotely for a company called Liulishuo based in Beijing, China. To begin, I’ll cover some of the basics.
Peak Hours If the company is based in China, they will expect you to work peak hours:
6-9 PM Monday through Friday, Beijing Standard Time
9AM-10PM Saturday and Sunday, Beijing Standard Time
Depending on where you reside, this might mean working early mornings. Currently, I reside on the west coast, and I typically teach from 5AM-8AM on weekdays. Make sure to calculate the time difference before applying. These hours aren’t for everyone, especially if you’re not a morning person. Companies based outside of China will offer afternoon and evening classes, but since they’re smaller you may not get that many bookings. The pay is usually lower as well.
Students Children: Most companies you’ll come across only offer classes with children, who are usually between the ages of 5-14. You may have the option of only teaching older children in middle and high school, but if you’re open to younger students you’ll have many more options. Adults: Some companies offer adult classes, if you’re not interested in teaching children. However, the pay is usually lower.
Salary Scale Base pay: This is the rate of pay you’re guaranteed. Most Chinese companies start their base pay between $15-$18. Companies located in other countries, like Russia or Spain, will have a much lower base pay (between $9-13 per hour) and usually won’t offer any bonus pay. Bonus pay: This is what you’ll see in most advertisements - “Up to $22.00 per hour!” - and depends on a number of factors. Some companies will give you a booking bonus or an attendance bonus. For example, if you teach 100 or so more classes a month, they’ll pay you an additional $2.00 per hour. They may also pay a $2.00 bonus if you open slots during peak hours. So if your base pay is $18, adding the extra $4 will bring your total pay to $22.00/hour. Buyout pay: Very few companies offer this pay structure, but if you’re lucky you might be able to score a contract. Basically, the company will pay you just for keeping your slots open, even if they aren’t booked. Sometimes it’s just a portion, sometimes it’s the whole salary. However, this usually means base pay is fairly low and they may not offer additional bonus pay. In the past, Gogo Kid and DaDaABC used to offer this as a perk, but to my knowledge they changed their contracts last year. Current teachers have confirmed this in 2020.
Payment Methods Bank transfer: This is the method I recommend the most, if the company provides it as an option. There are less fees with bank transfer and they are deposited directly into your account on payday. Paypal: The most popular method of payment. Usually involves both a conversion fee and an instant transfer fee, which add up after a while.
Class Types: Private classes (1 to 1): Teachers instruct one student. These are usually 25 minutes long. Some companies, such as SayABC, have 40 or 50 minute long classes. Small group classes (between 3-4 students): Teachers instruct a small group of students. Again, these classes are usually 25 minutes long. Larger group classes (6 or more students): Some companies offer larger group classes. In this case, they’ll expect you to stand up and will project your webcam in a classroom. These classes usually require a teacher’s assistant who is actually present in the room to help with classroom management.
Important things to note: 1. A lot of companies will provide the lessons for you, but they’ll expect you to have your own class materials. Things like whiteboards, markers, letter cut outs, puppets, dolls, toys, models, and more. Keep in mind, teachers can only write off $100 from their taxes if they pay for materials out of pocket, so be careful of your budget. 2. A revolving door is oftentimes a red flag. If you notice that a specific company is always hiring or posting ads, that’s not a good sign. It either means they have too many teachers and not enough students so booking slots stay empty, or that their teachers are constantly quitting. Which leads me to my next point... 3. Many online teachers have turned to recruiting. As recruiters, their companies will pay them a bonus based on how many people were hired after using their affiliate link to apply, and if those applicants teach enough classes. They are responsible for helping their recruits through the interview process, giving them advice for how to pass the assessments, and getting them familiar with the software. However, be wary of this because some people who have signed up via recruiter link have reported their mentors disappearing soon afterwards. This is not meant to be accusatory, but it is a common occurrence as observed on many Facebook Online ESL Teaching groups. 4. Remember, if the offer sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Get all the details, in words you can understand, before signing the contract and making the commitment. 5. Most companies only hire what they consider to be “Native English Speakers”. These are people who hold a passport from the following countries: The United States, The UK, Ireland, Canada, Australia, New Zealand [and sometimes South Africa]. This means that even if you speak English perfectly and have the right credentials, if your passport is from a country not listed above then you are considered a Non-Native English Speaker. There are some companies that hire NNES, but they will offer a significantly lower base pay. (Note: many of the bigger companies only hire people from the United States or Canada. A list of companies that hire Non-Native English Speakers can be found at the end of this article.) 6. Most companies only hire those with Bachelor Degrees. It’s preferred that your degree relates to Education or Child Development, but most of the time they’ll accept anything. You may also need a TEFL or TESOL certificate as well, along with some teaching experience. You can sign up for a short course on Groupon. A few of them cost less than $10. (There are some companies that hire without a degree, which are listed at the end of this article.) 7. You are considered an Independent Contractor, NOT an employee. You do not have the same protections you might be used to at a brick and mortar job. This means that these companies can fire you for any reason, or without a reason, at any time. On the other hand, this also means you can also quit for any reason at any time. However, keep in mind that many companies have been known to withhold the final paycheck if this occurs, and there’s not much you can do about it since they’re based in another country and don’t adhere to your country’s laws. It’s best not to burn bridges. 8. A lot of the bigger and popular online ESL companies are geared towards young students between the ages of 5-14 years old. They’ll want to see high energy, the use of props, and general silliness, hence why online educators have coined the term “edutainer”. You must ask yourself if your personality fits this kind of job, because they will expect you to perform in this way during your interview and also in your classes.
Companies to avoid (and why): VIPKid - suspected of data mining, new teachers wait months before getting regular bookings, mixed success with POC teachers, “edutainers” Likeshuo - racist policies, has been seen advertising for white teachers only Acadsoc - low base pay, non-communicative staff, low quality lesson plans iTutorGroup/51Talk - teachers are rated by students and if they get one low rating for a class they can be fired, unresponsive IT staff, inflexible time off policy, harsh cancellation policy Magic Ears - long training process, slow bookings for new teachers, you MUST teach in their style or else you won’t get bookings
Companies I’ve worked for and liked: Liulishuo - communicative staff, offer professional development, offer buyout schedule, hiring freezes, good quality lesson plans, quick and reliable payment each month, responsive IT team Golden Voice English - high quality lesson plans, good students, communicative staff, quick and reliable payment each month, responsive IT team
Companies I’ve worked for and didn’t like: Micro Language - late pay, wouldn’t put black people/POC in their new program despite being top tutors, poor quality lessons with grammar and spelling errors, non-communicative staff, made multiple changes to teaching contracts without input from teachers DaDaABC - offered low base pay, unfair time off policy, removed many of the perks from their new contracts Cambly - difficult students, women often experience sexual harassment from male students, POC teachers have reported racial microaggressions from students, no structured format, pay is low, lots of student no shows or last minute cancellations with no penalty for students
Companies that only hire from The United States/Canada/UK: QKids (and you MUST be based in The US or Canada) Golden Voice English VIPKids English First (US/UK) OpenEnglish
Companies that hire WITHOUT a degree: Magic Ears Cambly Palfish OpenEnglish LatinHire Preply Verbling Learnship Acadsoc SkimaTalk Italki Learnlight 31ABC (but they require teaching experience)
Companies that hire Non-Native English Speakers: Preply Voxy (must have some college credits) Learnship Yiyi English LatinHire
Companies that offer adult-only classes: Huajing Liulishuo English First Learnlight Italki Cambly OpenEnglish
To wrap things up, I’ll share a few more points to look out for in your job search. GREEN FLAGS - They implement hiring freezes so they don’t overhire teachers. Offers professional development opportunities. Quick responses from IT. Quick responses from HR. RED FLAGS - Spam-like advertisements. Lots of recruiter links on Facebook posts or other websites. I hope this guide helps you find the perfect position! ~~~~~
Gina Gainous is a state licensed ESL teacher that hails from the midwestern United States. She can be reached for further questions or inquiries at [email protected].
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saiilorstars · 4 years
Text
It Had To Be You
Ch. 4: All is a Secret // Story Masterlist
Pairings: Barry Allen x Original Female Character
Summary:  Belén inadvertently puts herself in danger whilst trying to help in a metahuman crisis. And for some reason Barry is drawn to rescuing her almost immediately, creating some questions amongst the STAR Labs team.
Pronunciation of OC's name: Bell-en. The last syllable has an emphasis so it’s not pronounced like ‘Helen’ would be.
No real warnings for now!
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Belén and Iris made their way out of the theater and walked down a crowded street, contently munching on their leftover popcorn. Iris had opted for a very much needed girl's night out. She thought Belén would need all the excuses she could take just to be out the house.
"Maybe on Friday we could watch the premier of..." Iris trailed off when Belén stopped walking so suddenly. The woman had grown pale too. "Belén? Belén? What is it?"
Belén swallowed hard, hoping to God it would pass soon and she could excuse it with something plausible. Iris grew more concerned and helped Belén towards a wall so that the woman could rest for a bit.
"Should I call a doctor?" she asked when she saw no progress in Belén's condition. "Your Dad?"
"No, no," Belén waved a hand, her eyes shut for the moment. "I'm, uh, it's...it's passing, yeah…"
Iris scowled at such a lame lie thrown her way. "Annah-Belén Palayta, are you trying to lie directly to my face? You know how I feel about that." She sighed and dropped her popcorn to the ground so that she could help Belén walk again. "Maybe we should get you home. Let's call a cab?"
"I think…" Belén felt famished despite the fact they'd eaten plenty before entering the theater. "...Can we go to Nina's please? She's a doctor, and...and I don't want to worry my Dad. Please, Iris?"
Iris just wanted her friend to get better, so she agreed without another word. This wasn't the first time she noticed Belén's health suddenly decline, and she hadn't yet brought it up with Belén. Perhaps that had been wrong of her - she didn't want anything to happen to Belén just because she didn't bring it up. She was the only friend Iris really had!
~ 0 ~
Later that evening, David Palayta received the abrupt news Belén would be staying with Nina for the night. Iris had been left with the false illusion Belén was better and would be returning home after a nice cup of coffee with Nina. But as soon as Iris left, Nina got straight to work with the medical exams again. Belén laid in the guest room of Nina's apartment, sitting upright on the bed with a weary look on her face. It was ridiculous how tired she felt when today had been so calm and easy.
"It's the same thing again," Nina sighed when she came into the room, holding Belén's green milkshake in hand. "Sugar levels are dangerously low."
Belén no longer felt worried over that. She merely took her milkshake and drank down its disgusting contents. Nina walked over to the window, about to close the curtain when Belén called out.
"Don't! Leave it like that please?"
With a sigh, Nina nodded and left the room. Belén reached out for her phone on the nightstand and looked at the time. It was almost midnight.
He would most certainly be there already...and she wouldn't be there tonight. What would he think of her, then? A flake? An irresponsible? Surely he had better things to do than help a girl out.
Belén sighed to herself. "Please don't be mad with me," she pleaded in a whisper.
~ 0 ~
Iris was bringing a tray of dirty dishes back to the counter when she saw Barry coming into Jitters. "Hey," she greeted as she left the tray back.
"Hey," Barry greeted politely, eyes briefly looking around to hopefully see someone by. "Um, listen..." he began after seeing no one was around, "I was wondering if you...know anything about Belén?"
"Belén? Like what, exactly?"
"Em…" Barry stuffed his hands into his pockets, knowing he was going to fail miserably in trying to seem normal, "...like, uh...if she's okay?"
Iris sighed as she remembered her last encounter with Belén - three days ago at the movies - and shook her head. "I honestly don't know anymore."
Barry was just as concerned as she was, but he couldn't tell her it sprung from the fact Belén had missed their 'secret appointment' at the city park late at night three days ago. It had become a custom for them to meet each other - he as the 'Red Streak' - to consult about Rayan's case. Belén had never once missed the date. She was always the first one. And suddenly she misses one without so much a note at the fountain's altar for an explanation. Not to mention the fact that he hadn't heard a single word from her afterwards, as the regular friends they were.
"You want to know something weird?" Iris suddenly asked, breaking Barry's inside thinking. "Bells and I were at the movies three days ago. We were having fun, we ate and saw a good movie...and when we were leaving...she got dizzy or something."
"Dizzy?" Barry frowned. "Did you take her to a doctor?"
"We went to Nina's," Iris sighed. "Nina gave her some type of medicine and she told me Bells would be fine. That's the last thing I heard since that night."
"And you haven't called her or anything?" Barry inquired. "Visited maybe?"
"No, I've been a bit busy myself right now. I'm trying to find a way to tell my Dad about Eddie and I, so…" Iris made a motion, signalling the trouble she was going through as well.
"Got it," Barry nodded, understanding her. He was about to ask how she was doing, considering they hadn't really spoken much either, but his cellphone went off. Motioning to Iris he'd be a moment, he walked to the side and took the call.
There was a new crime scene and he was needed right away.
~ 0 ~
A little restaurant not too far from where Belén and Iris had gone to the movies, was the center location for the murder scene of a crime family. The entire place had been blocked off from the public's eye and while several police officers looked about for anything that would tell them about the criminals, Barry attended to the corpses lying at different locations from the grand dinner table the family had been going to use.
Although, he probably would be a little more focused if he didn't repeatedly find himself distracted with his honey-haired friend. He didn't even realize Joe had come up to him asking for any details on the corpses until he was gently nudged with a shoe on his leg.
"S-sorry, what?" Barry blinked and looked up, finding a half concerned half irritated Joe looking down at him.
"I was asking if there was anything new," Joe repeated himself for the last time.
"U-uh…" Barry quickly ransacked his mind for the last professional thoughts he had before his mind had gotten away from him. "Well, there was, um...there are signs of histotoxic hypoxia. The cells in their bodies were unable to utilize oxygen. It's consistent with exposure to poison gas."
"What kind of poison?" Joe wondered.
Barry got up to his feet and sighed as he looked to the other corpses. "I'll need to take a lung sample, see if I can narrow it down."
Eddie joined the two after having met with witnesses. "The only other exit was bolted from the inside. They were trapped. I was thinking someone pumped gas in from the outside, but witnesses say the street was empty."
"So it was from the inside," Joe concluded, already taking extra looks around them for anything suspicious. "That means there should be a canister or a container left behind. The gas just didn't come in by itself."
Barry, meanwhile, had begun making deductions based off the way the corpses had landed to their current positions. Without thinking, he added, "Unless it had a mind of its own."
Joe immediately understood the implication and quickly resorted to have Eddie leave. "Eddie, would you mind canvassing again? Somebody had to have seen something suspicious." Eddie nodded and went on his way to repeat his task. Joe then turned back to Barry. "Okay, explain."
Barry nodded and did just that. "The boss collapsed by the table," he pointed to the nearest corpse just beside the table. "This guy made it 10 feet away," he gestured to the corpse closest to the front window - presumably having shot at the window three times to no avail - with a gun lying beside him. "That guy had a chance to move off and fire three shots into the window trying to break the glass. But they all started in the same spot, which means they should have all been affected by the gas at the same time, but instead, it's as if…"
"They were attacked one by one," Joe saw where he was going. "My gut feeling, if we're gonna solve this one, you and me are gonna need... Backup."
"Yeah," Barry agreed, but judging by the face he had on Joe realized there was something else on his mind.
"What is it?" he asked wearily.
"It's just...do you think I could make a pit stop first?" Barry innocently smiled. "...for about an hour?"
"An hour?" Joe frowned. "Barry, need I remind you this is a case we need to solve fast? There could be a metahuman on the loose and you want to waste time?"
"It's not a waste of time, I promise," Barry pleaded. "It's very important, okay?"
"What could be more important than finding a metahuman who's out murdering people?" Joe demanded incredulously.
Barry sheepishly smiled when he realized how his answer would sound if he actually responded.
~ 0 ~
Linda Park was in the middle of typing a new article at her desk, occasionally looking out for the intern that was supposed to be getting her the notes she needed to finish the actual article. She was most certainly not expecting a strange young man to walk into the place. By the way he curiously looked around, Linda knew for sure he had never visited before.
She got up from her chair and walked around her desk, coming down the small steps of the higher-level ground. "Can I help you?" she politely asked once she reached the stranger.
Barry felt like a complete idiot the way he knew he looked so lost. "U-um, y-yeah...actually, yeah."
Linda smiled, crossing her arms. "Were you looking for someone?"
"Yeah," Barry nodded, knowing that was the third time he had answered with the same word. "Do you know where I can find Belén Palayta?"
Linda's eyebrows quirked upwards, looking bemused all of a sudden. "You're Belén's…?"
"Barry?" came the familiar voice of the needed woman. Barry turned to see Belén coming out of a side room, holding Linda's notes in her hands.
"Bells," Barry brightened up when he saw her looking (at least physically) well, "Hey…"
"What are you doing here?" Belén joined him and Linda, handing the latter the files in the process.
"I, uh, I was...in the neighborhood," Barry began his excuse, seeing it was probably not a good idea to begin with 'since you failed too meet me while I was the Red Streak I got worried'.
"You were?" Belén tilted her head, confused. Though beside her Linda was smirking widely, wishing her friend could get a simple clue.
"Yeah," Barry cleared his throat, awkwardly glancing at Linda.
Belén followed his gaze and saw Linda. Nudging the dark-haired woman, Belén sarcastically said, "Linda, that article isn't going to write itself you know."
Linda rolled her eyes, knowing she was being politely asked to leave. "Yeah, yeah, I'm gone. See you later, Belén," she waved to the intern then looked to Barry, "and nice to meet you, Barry."
"Likewise," he shook her hand and let her go. Afterwards, he focused back on Belén who was curiously waiting for him. She didn't look sick, from what Iris told him. Her eyes were shining their special brown tinge, and her smile was genuine.
"Was there something you needed, Barry?" Belén's voice cut into his thoughts. "Though I doubt there's anything a journalist can do for a forensic scientist."
"Um," Barry nervously smiled, berating himself for not coming in with a plan - he looked like an even bigger dork than what Iris told him he was. "I...it's just been a while since we heard anything from you," he came up with in the end.
"You were worried," Belén realized, feeling a tad special about it.
"Well, a little-" but then Barry worried how that may have sounded and tried to clarify, "-though when I say 'a little' I don't actually mean 'a little'-" he gestured with his index finger and thumb, "-I meant the decent amount-"
Belén's laughter cut right through his words, making him awkwardly shift in place. "And here I thought I was the motor mouth in this city."
"S-sorry," was all Barry could think of at the moment. He felt his face incredibly warm and that was never a good sign - especially near girls. Iris always teased him for blushing so easily, and always being so red!
"Oh c'mon," Belén sobered up and touched his arm, "I was only joking - absolutely no one can top me. I'm sure you heard what happened at the movies with Iris but I can assure you all I'm just fine.
"We just haven't heard from you, that's all," Barry tried again.
"Well, to be frank," Belén sighed, growing slightly serious, "I've been kind of getting the feel that you guys don't want me at Star Labs anymore."
"What? Why would you say that?" Barry asked, unable to awkwardly cough. He knew that was his fault for being unable to decide whether or not to tell Belén who he was.
"I can kind of tell when Cisco sputters as he tries to make up excuses on why we shouldn't meet at the lab," Belén crossed her arms. "I love that guy, but he sucks at lying."
"Look, Bells-"
"No, I totally get it," Belén waved a hand at him. "I'm kind of an idiot and I'm probably just in the way during your nerd talks."
"That's not it," Barry shook his head, but Belén gave him an earnest look.
"Then why?"
"Well…" Barry rubbed the side of his neck, seeing this was a lost cause that could only hurt Belén.
"It's fine, Barry," the blonde assured, turning to leave. "I get it, there's just some places where others don't belong. It's like…" she stopped and turned around, finding he had been following her and so she bumped into him. "Oh - well," she fixed her hair and smiled warmly, truly looking alright as she said she was, "It's like me barging into your lab to try and talk to you about science. Or, perhaps you coming in here," she chuckled at the irony, "and trying to talk to me about journalism."
"Technically, if I talk 'sciency'," Barry raised his fingers into quotation marks, making Belén laugh again, "I can probably come up with a decent article."
"Hmm," Belén feigned thoughts as she went to gather her things from a small desk. "If you want to put your money where your mouth is, I have the job."
"You do?" Barry blinked, unsure how to go about that.
"Mhm," Belén turned around, her bag's strap over her shoulder now, "You know Iris has this blog about the Red Streak and she knows diddly squat about the science part involved in all that. I'm sure you can help her more than I could."
Barry withheld the annoyed sigh threatening to escape through his lips. Iris continuing to write about him was an increasing problem for him and herself. Who knew what could happen to her if she kept at it?
"Listen Barry," Belén stepped closer to him, resting a hand on his arm, "I'm touched you came all the way over here just to see if I was okay. As you can see, I'm doing just fine. I guess with my brother's case, my job, my parents, my nearly-failing-biology-class, and my near graduation...I have a lot of things on my mind. It was nothing more than a burnout."
"Are you sure?" Barry softly asked her, looking for anything in her that would tell him she was lying.
"I'm sure," Belén nodded, retracting her hand from his arm. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shop before I head to classes. My friend had the lovely idea to cast me in one of his final short plays so now I have to go and buy me some new clothes for the part."
Barry laughed, walking towards the doors with her. "Really? And what's the part?"
"Um, this 'geek' girl so…" Belén shrugged, "I have to go buy me some geek clothes, I guess. That should be fun considering I look horrible in the glasses and the flannels…" she quickly looked at him then, knowing the flannels were a part of his common attires, "...but on you they look good!"
"Thanks," Barry laughed, opening the door for her. "I'm sure you'll make an adorable nerd."
Belén glanced back at him, sporting a light blush on her cheeks. "Thank you."
The two shared a longer look before Barry felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Suddenly remembering he had somewhere else to be, he nervously smiled at Belén who was curiously looking at him...probably sensing something was off.
"I, uh...have to...uh…" Barry awkwardly had a thumb pointing over his shoulder, but for some reason the words were like a tongue twister, "...g-go...yeah...y-yeah, we, um, we…"
Belén's eyebrows raised, evidently amused by him. "You could say 'I have things to do' and just leave. I wouldn't be offended, Barry," she laughed.
"Bye Belén," Barry finally managed to say in one go and hurried off to Star Labs.
~ 0 ~
When Barry sped into Star Labs, everyone - even Joe - was in the cortex room attempting to discover more of the newest metahuman in the city. As soon as he stopped, Barry found himself bombarded with scoldings left to right about his tardiness. It didn't get any better when Joe let it slip the reason Barry was late because he had to go 'see a girl'. As if it was just any girl I was seeing, thought Barry. And it wasn't like that, he then told himself. He was just worried over Belén and he wanted to see if she was alright. Plus, Iris was worried too and as her brother it was his job to help her no matter what.
"It was necessary," Barry concluded to the others. And before there could be another comment made about it, he moved to the desk where Caitlin and Dr. Wells were at. "So, did we make any advances on the case?"
"We were really only making assumptions and other questions," Caitlin answered after a moment, looking at the others. "For example, how he's able to formulate the connection of the elements needed for the gas creation."
"Oh, and if it was just poisonous gas, or can he control all aerated substances?" Cisco added in, rather excited about the idea.
"So basically we have nothing," Joe declared and walked up to the desk, leaning an arm over it. "I did, however, mention the possibility of finding an adequate place to hold metahuman criminals. Iron Heights isn't ready for that kind of stuff."
"At which point I reminded the ones you've encountered so far are no longer with us," Dr. Wells smiled.
"Well, unless we're planning on executing every super criminal we stop, you geniuses are gonna have to come up with someplace else to hold them."
Cisco was more awed then. "A meta-human prison. Sweet."
"Until we figure a way to remove their powers," Wells added before anyone got other ideas.
After a moment of sober thinking, Cisco meekly reminded, "There is one place here that might hold them."
Caitlin's eyes widened, looking fearful. "You can't be serious. I mean, we haven't been down there since... it's cordoned off."
"Cisco is right," Wells interjected. "It could be modified to act as a makeshift prison."
"What could?" Joe inquired.
"It was where the Particle Accelerator was meant to work in," Wells explained, no one except Barry noticing the distant, over-fearful look on Caitlin's face. "It was meant to contain the chemicals and even stronger components. We could, theoretically, manipulate the area and convert it into different cells designed specifically for each metahuman's ability."
"That sounds good," Cisco shrugged.
"So then we should get down there to see what exactly we have to do."
"Yeah," Cisco agreed.
"Caitlin, let's go," Wells said but when Caitlin stayed silent he glanced at the brunette and called her again. "Caitlin. Caitlin. Did you hear me? We're going down to the accelerator ring."
Caitlin became flustered as she came out of her memories, wanting to push them away as far as possible for fear of breaking down over the death she was working so hard to move on from.
Barry saw that too and came to her aid. "Actually, Dr. Wells, I could use Caitlin's help identifying the poison gas."
Wells seemed to understand the conflict and let it go without another word of insistence. "Okay."
Barry looked to Caitlin, who was already shooting him 'thank you' looks. "If that's okay with you?" he asked her.
"Let's go," Caitlin nearly jumped out of her chair, not seeing the moment they were out of the building.
~ 0 ~
It was never a good feeling to come home and hear strange noises from your bedroom. The only thing that she was thankful for was that her son was not with her at the moment. Balling a fist and creating a sphere of purple mass, she started for the hallway. The noises were coming from her bedroom and she wasn't going to waste a minute bringing the intruder down.
You picked the wrong house to rob, she thought. She kicked the door open and got ready to fight. However, she was met with a completely different image of her 'intruder'.
A young man with light brown hair stood in front of a dressing table, his back to the owner of the house. "It's so different seeing your mask off your face," he raised his head to meet her reflection on the mirror. "Why is it again that you prefer to wear it whenever you're with me?" He then raised the purple half-mask for her to see.
"That's not funny!" the woman stalked over and snatched her mask back. "And what the hell do you think you're doing in my house? My son could've been here, you idiot! Or worse, our sister or our dad could have stopped by."
"They wouldn't, I know their schedules," Rayan Palayta turned around with a smug smile, leaning against the dressing table.
"You know everything, don't you?"
"Maybe not everything but I know my sisters. Isn't that right...Maritza?"
Maritza Palayta had always hated when her younger siblings sassed her or used pointless sarcasm on her. "You need to quit playing games like these," she warned, pointing a finger at him. "You're dead to the city so you can't just show up here!"
"And you're getting to be a well known petty thief," Rayan countered.
Maritza walked to her closet and opened it up. "I know how to play the game, alright? I'm laying low for now."
"That would be a wise choice," Rayan nodded, pushing himself off the dressing table. "And you should probably hide that mask better. If I could find it then so can Axel or even Belén."
"Please," Maritza lightly scoffed, her words muffled as she was inside her closet putting away her mask. "I love Belén but right now she's not at her best."
"What's wrong with my sister?" Rayan demanded.
"She's still with the idea that you're not dead."
"Oh Belén," Rayan sighed. "I love her and I miss her so much but...she can't know about me. She can't know about either of us. If she...had turned like us...then things would be different."
"But the fact is that she's not," Maritza left it clear as she closed her closet doors. She turned around, looking firm. "And for that reason she can't know anything about us. All she should worry about is finishing college and focusing on her job. You don't go near her."
"I know that," Rayan argued. "It kills me but I know it's what's best."
"Now are you going to tell me the reason for your little visit?"
"Nostalgia, for the most part," Rayan admitted, truly missing his old life. But he knew that he couldn't go back anymore - he didn't want to. After everything he'd been forced to do by the gang of robbers he'd been kidnapped by, he didn't think he could face his family anymore. Plus, he had a score to settle with the culprit of all his misfortunes in the past months. "But I also think that I've found someone who could be like us."
Maritza studied her younger brother for a moment. "Eugh," she gagged, "How on Earth could you find some woman to still..." she shivered and Rayan laughed.
"I was making a run for food and we crossed paths," he shrugged. "Her name - well, what she goes by when she's out - is Pixel."
"Great, and?"
"I'm staying at her place now but the warehouse is still where we can operate freely."
Maritza rolled her eyes. "Okay, so while you came to give me that spectacular news, I have actually got something you might like."
"Let me hear it."
"Word has it that there's a new freak out there with incredible powers."
"Is it the one that controls gas?" Rayan asked, startling Maritza with the knowledge. "Sorry, I hacked into the records of the CCPD. It's fairly obvious judging by the poison evidence from the crime scene."
"Right," Maritza made a face. "Never mind that. So, you think I should reach him?"
"I don't like him," Rayan declared, confusing her more. "He's a right criminal and we don't need that in here."
Maritza scoffed loudly. "And what exactly are we, then? I've robbed countless stores and you? You slaughtered an entire band of criminals."
"We are sophisticated, and we have only one goal. I don't want petty criminals that I can't control."
"But he-"
"I said no," Rayan shot her down again, and this time warned her to stay quiet. "Let him be. Just...keep an eye on our family. You know the drill. If you need me, you know how to find me."
"Right, the warehouse or your new little girlfriend's place?" Maritza stopped him by the bedroom door.
"I'll send you the address," Rayan assured and continued on his way out.
Maritza sighed deeply after he was gone. She looked at herself in the mirror and could no longer recognize herself. She didn't like who she was becoming but she felt like it was too late to do anything about it. Star Labs made her that way, and they would pay soon enough.
~ 0 ~
Back at the CCPD, Barry and Caitlin were patiently waiting in his lab for the results of an exam. Barry was sat at his computer desk, fiddling with a DNA model in his hands while Caitlin stood on the other side by the printer.
"Can I ask you something that you don't have to answer?" Barry finally gathered the courage to ask.
"My least favorite kind of question," Caitlin nervously smiled. "Shoot."
Barry put down the DNA model on his desk. "Ronnie. What was he like? You just never talk about him that much."
Caitlin looked down a minute, her nervous smile fading and exchanging for a split peaceful expression. "We met when we were working on the particle accelerator. He was the structural engineer. He liked to joke that he was basically a very high-priced plumber. We were very different. You might have noticed I can be a bit... Guarded." Barry made an innocent look, something that didn't go pass Caitlin. "Ronnie knew how to make me laugh. He used to say we were like fire and ice. He wasn't supposed to be there that night. He was just there for me. If he hadn't…"
The printer then beeped, signaling the results were ready. Caitlin nabbed the paper and took it over to the desk, reading it simultaneously. "This says that there was no residue of gas in the tissue, poisonous or otherwise."
"It must have evaporated," Barry assumed. "We'll need to get a fresh sample."
Caitlin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as she read more. "Wait, this can't be right," she put the paper down on the desk for Barry to see. "This says that there are two distinct strands of DNA inside the tissue. How did someone else's DNA get inside the victim's lungs?"
After a moment, Barry decided to configure the remnants of the discovered DNA in the computer. "I don't understand," he frowned. "There's no DNA match in the database.
Caitlin was still looking at the results, pretty much lost. "I don't understand. Why would a chemical attack leave behind another person's DNA inside the victim?"
Barry got to thinking and then offered, "What if the meta-human we're looking for doesn't control gas? What if he becomes it?"
"Ooh," Caitlin's mouth formed a small 'o' at the idea. It certainly made sense. But that would definitely make it a more difficult battle to fight.
And it seemed like fate today was purposely contradicting her. The radio Barry had set on the desk for the police station went off.
'All available units, we have a report of a toxic gas attack in the central city shopping mall.'
Without a second thought, Barry dashed out of his chair and ran for the locker he had inside the room. Seeing what he intended on doing, Caitlin rushed after him.
"Barry, don't," she tried. "We don't know enough about what we're facing yet. It's not safe."
But Barry's mind was set on the mall once he remembered an earlier conversation he had. He turned around, a frantic look on his face. "Caitlin, I have to go. Someone important is there, alright?"
"But-" Caitlin tried again but was cut off when Barry ran out of the lab. "Barry!" she called after him, though in vain.
~ 0 ~
Holding several shopping bags in her hands, Belén contently walked in the mall ready to head to class. But when she made a turn that overlooked the center of the mall, specifically, the elevator coming down to her floor, she abruptly stopped and shrieked without thinking. The glass elevator displayed a horrific sight consisting of a woman relentlessly pounding on the wall for help while a musty, green mist covered the entire square.
Belén's shriek made the rest of the customers look on to the sight, and thus provoked alarm throughout the rest of the mall. Belén looked at her hands, flexing them for a moment as she saw something green on her skin. "No, go away," she whispered and looked back at the elevator. The woman was crying out for help but of course no one could. Belén knew that if she proposed herself, she could probably help a little. What if I just make a bigger mess out of it? she thought. What if I hurt her instead of helping?
Belén decided she needed to help the woman. She was the only one in the building after all. She dropped her bags and dashed for the elevator that was arriving on the floor level.
"Stay back!" she ordered the crowd forming by the elevator doors. "I said get back!" as soon as the doors slid open, the green mist flew out and headed away. Determined, Belén ran after it. "Hey!" she shouted, though she wondered if the gas actually had a mind to talk to. She barely grazed the doorknob of the door the gas had gone through when she felt a powerful wind and suddenly found herself by the rail overlooking the center of the mall. It took a moment to realize she had been carried by the Red Streak. "Dammit," she balled her fist and looked towards the crowd of people. She hurried back then, pushing her way through till she stood at the front. She sucked in a breath at the sight of the dead woman sprawled on the floor. Her eyes watered up, her mouth unable to close. She'd taken too long to decide and now someone was dead.
~ 0 ~
If Barry was afraid before arriving at the mall, he was now furious that the metahuman nearly had a face off with Belén. Thankfully he managed to get there on time and speed Belén away before the metahuman could attack.
"Why did you kill that woman?" he caught the metahuman in a lonesome hallway of the mall.
The metahuman, a middle-aged man with no hair and barely eyebrows, turned around. "She deserved to die. Now go run away. I still have one more name on my list. Don't make me add you to it."
But Barry wasn't going to let him get away with the newest murder. He sped towards him, attempting to punch him with no avail. The man retaliated by releasing poisonous gas that quickly invaded Barry's lungs. He took his escape swiftly after that, leaving Barry to suffocate.
~ 0 ~
At Star Labs, Dr. Wells and Cisco were trying to make contact with Barry through the intercom on the desk. All of a sudden, they had lost contact with Barry.
"Barry. Barry, can you hear me?" Wells repeatedly attempted to get a response from Barry, growing more concerned by the mark of the vitals on the computer screens.
"His vitals are weak, but he's alive, Dr. Wells," Cisco pointed out. "I'm sure he's fine."
But as soon as the words left Cisco's mouth, Barry sped into the room, collapsing against the desk between the two humans. "I can't breathe!" he wheezed out the words.
"He needs oxygen!" Wells quickly ordered. "Get the crash cart!" he ordered from Cisco, who jumped out of his chair to get it done.
Barry was then placed on the hospital-like bed in one of the side rooms. Caitlin, who had taken off from the CCPD the moment Barry ran out, arrived in time to assist. The top part of Barry's suit had been open up to his bare chest, and when he saw Caitlin he quickly called to her.
"Cut me open! The poison's still in me!"
"He brought us a sample," Wells motioned to Caitlin to get on the job. "Caitlin, we need to do a pulmonary biopsy, extract an active portion of that gas."
Anxiously, Caitlin looked to Barry. "I can't give you any anesthetic. Your metabolism will burn right through it."
"I heal quick, remember? Do it."
With a sigh, Caitlin glanced at Cisco. "Cisco, give me the syringe. This is gonna hurt a lot," she warned Barry afterwards.
Cisco retrieved the syringe and prepared the needle for her. "It's a small needle," he spoke to Barry, "You probably won't even feel it."
Caitlin rolled her eyes and snatched the syringe from him, clarifying, "You're definitely going to feel it." She stabbed Barry on the chest with it, causing the metahuman to violently gasp before falling unconscious on the bed.
~ 0 ~
"This wasn't funny, Annah-Belén!" Nina angrily scolded her friend after hearing what Belén nearly did at the mall.
"You're going to use my whole name when you're mad with me too?" Belén looked up from the chair of Nina's kitchen, feeling like a child while Nina paced back and forth beside the table.
"Shut up!" came the snappy response from Nina. "This is serious! You could have died back there doing something stupid!"
"It wasn't stupid," Belén meekly argued, her hands fiddling over the table. "I saw the woman pleading for help and I...I had to try to do something."
"With what!?" Nina frantically turned to her friend. "You've got nothing to defend yourself with!"
Belén stared hard at her friend. "You know that's not true."
Nina released a large sigh, rubbing her forehead. "Fine," she gave in, "But you also know you're not in control. That gas thing-"
"He's a man," Belén corrected.
"Fine, the man, is clearly in control of his abilities. What the hell would you have done if he tried attacking you?" Belén had no answer and looked away from Nina. Nina shook her head. "Thank God the Red Streak appeared and got you out of there."
At the mention of the Red Streak, Belén crookedly smiled. "He saved me…"
"But don't expect him to be there every time you have a stupid idea," Nina warned her, not that Belén really paid attention.
"Nina, do you think the Red Streak feels guilty when he lets people die?"
"What?" Nina frowned at the change of topics.
Belén returned her gaze to her friend, allowing Nina to see a different expression on the blonde's face. "That woman that got murdered today - if I had been in control of my abilities and if I had made the decision quicker then I could have maybe done something to help her. But I didn't. I hesitated and she paid the price."
"No, Belén, please don't tell me you actually feel responsible for what happened to this woman," Nina shook her head again.
"But how could I not?" Belén got up from her chair. "I was right there, Nina! Right there!" her voice broke down as the feelings of guilt and despair settled over her. "And I...I couldn't help her."
Nina sighed and came to hug Belén. "You can't feel guilty about something that wasn't your fault. This guy had the plan calculated perfectly. Not even the Streak got there in time."
"But still…" Belén pulled away, her eyes shiny from looming tears, "...maybe if I had control...I-I could have helped in some way. The Streak may have not gotten there in time...but I was there. And I should have been able to do something."
"No - Belén!" Nina called as her friend hurried out of the apartment. "Belén!"
~ 0 ~
When Barry woke up, he found the cortex room empty save for himself and Caitlin. The brunette was sitting beside him, more or less scolding him already with a sharp, silent look. Barry sighed and tilted his head away from her.
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
"Mhm."
"I had to get to the mall fast, alright?" he continued, but Caitlin still didn't speak. "There was a metahuman murderer on the loose, in the mall, where Belén was-"
"Belén was there?" Caitlin cut him off, suddenly curious of the matter.
Barry nodded, slowly turning his head in her direction. "I panicked."
Caitlin put two and two together before dimly smirking. "Wasn't she also the reason why you delayed coming to Star Labs earlier?"
Barry rolled his eyes, assuming where she was headed with the conversation. "Iris mentioned she wasn't feeling well, and, well...she hasn't really been around so I...wanted to go see if she was okay."
"Mhm," Caitlin pursed her lips together, "So that's two times today that you practically blew us off for Bells."
"It's not like that, Caitlin," Barry earnestly said. "I feel incredibly guilty as it is for keeping all this a secret from her - and Iris. The least I can do is keep her safe and be a friend."
Caitlin softly smiled. "Well, you are definitely being a wonderful friend for Bells. I think after everything that's what she needs most."
"Well, I don't know how I'm doing with the 'friend' part considering I keep lying to her every time we meet as the 'Streak'," Barry sighed, closing his eyes for a minute.
"You could just tell her you know," Caitlin reminded him no one was against the idea of Belén knowing the truth behind 'the Streak'. Hell, even Joe didn't mind.
"It's too late for that," Barry made a disappointed face. "I volunteered as two separate people to help her with her brother's case. Can you imagine how she would react if I told her that it's been me all along?"
Caitlin could see the complexity of the situation and sighed. "Alright, so it's not that easy."
"Yeah…"
Caitlin stared at him in a silent minute before saying, "If you want...I could talk to her?" At the suggestion, Barry hastily turned his head in her direction. "I know it wouldn't be the same but...I'm still a friend and I could definitely explain the reasons why we kept all this a secret from her."
Barry softly smiled. "You're a very good friend, Caitlin. But I think, if she's going to hear it from someone, it should be me." Caitlin nodded, not pushing after that. "And you know what, because you had this idea of helping me...I'm going to help you."
Caitlin's eyebrows knitted together, confused. "H-how?"
Barry just smiled as he sat upright, his body's quick healing already making a noticeable change in him.
~ 0 ~
With a couple of her friends, Belén made way for her class down the bright, green field of her school campus. However, midway through the field Belén began getting the sensation she was being watched from afar. She didn't even realize she had stopped walking until one of her friends, Hilary, came back for her.
"Hey, Belén, what's up with you?" the ginger haired woman asked.
Belén was looking to her right, scanning the area full of students doing their respective things. "I...don't know," she answered truthfully. "I feel like I'm...being...watched or something."
"Watched?" Hilary followed in the direction Belén was staring at, but due to the sun going down it was harder to identify any potential creep (or perhaps admirer she thought) staring back at them. "I don't see anything - you're just imagining. We're going to be late, now let's go!" she grabbed Belén's arm and pulled her after their other friends.
A couple seconds later, a tall figure stepped out from behind a tree, their eyes indeed watching after Belén.
~ 0 ~
Back in the cortex room, after Barry took Caitlin to the Particle Accelerator so that she would finally conquer any remnant feelings from the accident, Dr. Wells and Cisco called them back up to share the newest information over their metahuman.
"We have identified the toxin," Wells was saying as Cisco pulled up a 3D model across them.
Barry went to have a closer look. "Hydrogen cyanide?" he frowned, glancing back at the others.
"What's interesting is what's mixed in with the cyanide... A sedative."
"Of course," Barry quickly realized and turned to Caitlin who stood by the desk. "The night of the explosion, find out if anyone was executed."
"Why?" the brunette made a face of confusion.
"That sedative is given to criminals on death row before they go to the gas chamber and breathe in hydrogen cyanide."
"That's right," Wells gave an impressed look to Barry while Caitlin got to work.
It didn't take her long to find what they were looking for. "There was someone executed. Kyle Nimbus." She pulled up the profile and displayed it as another hologram for all to see.
"That's him," Barry immediately recognized the man that nearly poisoned him.
"He was a hit man for the Darbinyan crime family. They turned on him and testified. Judge Theresa Howard was the judge at his trial. She sentenced him to death."
"He must have been affected by the explosion while he was being gassed," Cisco concluded based on the evident facts.
"Records indicate the execution was completed," Caitlin read from the bottom of the page.
"That's why there wasn't a match," Barry shook his head. "The DNA database only has records of the living. Right. He said there was one more person on his list. Check the arrest record. Who caught him? That could be his next attack."
Caitlin did just that and looked horrified after seeing the information. "Barry, the lead detective…" Barry glanced at her, waiting for her to finish. "...it's Joe."
Barry nearly felt his speedy heart stop then.
It was planned minutes later to get ahold of Joe and warn him of the dangers looming over him. In the meantime, others would try and find the location of the metahuman before he reached Joe. So when Barry couldn't find Joe, it became all that more frustrating and inevitable panic happened. He had to turn in the direction of his partner, Eddie, and while the blonde detective was initially reluctant to reveal Joe's location, he did…
At which point Barry nearly had another heart attack.
~ 0 ~
Henry Allen had no idea what the hell was going on. One minute he was talking to Joe - apparently now Joe believed that he didn't kill his wife - and the next a strange man appeared, turned into gas and poisoned Joe with it. It all seemed straight out of a movie, but unfortunately this was real life and Joe was dying with no one helping him. But suddenly, a red streak came into the room, dressed in a red suit with a mask.
Barry used a syringe to heal Joe from the poison, but since that was the only one he had from Star Labs he was basically on his own going up against Nimbus. While Joe recuperated, Barry glanced at his father who remained behind the glass barring the visitor and prisoner sides. He made his face vibrate to completely conceal his face from Henry.
Suddenly, Barry felt a hand on his arm and looked down to see Joe coming back. "Go get him," he urged Barry.
Knowing he would be fine then, Barry sped out of the room to catch up with Nimbus. The man was halfway down the road from the prison, walking calmly when Barry found him.
"So you've come to finish what the gas chamber couldn't?" Nimbus turned around to face Barry, looking heavily confident.
"You're going somewhere you can't hurt anyone ever again," Barry promised him now that the new metahuman prison was finished.
"Wrong," Nimbus hissed as he released the poisonous gas from his hands.
"You need to stay away from him, Barry. Do not breathe him in," Wells warned Barry through the earpiece of his suit.
Barry followed the warning and still tried to fight Nimbus as best as possible. But every punch he threw was evaded by a quick shift into gas on Nimbus' part. It was impossible to touch the man.
"I'm not sure how that helps me, guys," Barry panted after dozens of failed attempts.
"You can't fight him, Barry. Just keep him coming at you," Caitlin suggested.
"That should sap his strength. Gas is the least stable form of matter," Wells added. "This meta-human will not be able to stay in his mist form for long. His particles will need to reform."
Barry sucked in a big breath before going back in and fighting. He simply did what he done before, attempt to punch Nimbus which would force the metahuman to constantly shift to gas. Eventually, Nimbus became weary with the lack of power and in one of those was unable to change into gas. Barry snatched the opportunity and punched Nimbus square across the face.
"We win," Barry smirked at the unconscious metahuman on the grass.
~ 0 ~
After Nimbus had been placed 'under arrest' and imprisoned in his new, small-confined cell, the three Star Labs employees gazed at the prisoner with certain awe.
Caitlin winced each time Nimbus pounded on the glass of his cell. "Will it hold?" she had to ask Dr. Wells and Cisco beside her.
Cisco smirked, laughing to himself. "The barrier is powered by an 8.3 Tesla superconducting electromagnet, which is about 100,000 times the strength of earth's magnetic field."
Seeing Caitlin's overwhelmed face, Wells translated. "In other words, yes."
Caitlin sighed and looked at Nimbus again. "I think he's mad."
Now it was Well's turn to smirk as he pressed a button on the wall that began sealing the new prison. "Well, good night."
"So we're just supposed to get used to working above a makeshift prison housing evil people with superpowers," Caitlin reviewed as they made way out of the pipeline.
"You'd be surprised what you can get used to, Caitlin," Wells said rather blankly as he left the room.
"Caitlin," Cisco meekly called for the brunette afterwards. "Could I talk to you for a second?"
She nodded. "What's up?"
"It's about the night that Ronnie died. I…"
Caitlin sighed. "Look, Cisco, I'm okay. I thought coming down here would undo me, but thinking about what Ronnie did to protect us... It just made me love him more." Cisco lightly smiled at her. "Come on. I need ice cream or a drink. Let's see which one we hit first."
~ 0 ~
Late at night, the 'Red Streak' awaited in the Central City park, just beside the fountain. When Belén feebly appeared, she was a little bemused to find him already there.
"Am I late?" she had to ask out loud in case she made the mistake.
"No, I'm early," Barry replied and gazed at her in silence. She looked slightly lost, and tired - very tired.
Belén pursed her lips, coming to a stop a couple feet from him. She glanced down to her brother's altar, where a pin in the shape of an azalea had been pinned earlier in the night. "You put the flower pin," she said quietly, having assumed that the moment she saw it after coming out of classes.
"I did," Barry acknowledged.
"How did you know it was my favorite flower?" Belén curiously looked back to him.
"Believe it or not, I have read some of your work," Barry smiled.
Belén blushed. "You read my work?"
"I like to know who I'm dealing with," Barry shrugged. "Plus, you're a good writer."
"And you're a good hero," Belén remarked, slowly growing quiet again.
Barry noticed this fast and sighed. "You missed our previous meetings, and I notice you look a bit...pale," Belén gulped but let him continue, "And the simple quietness in your usual speedy talk is an outright red alert to me. Is something wrong?"
Belén shakily breathed out, her mind thinking back to today's event at the mall. "You know at the mall when that guy-"
"Oh," Barry frowned, nearly forgetting his planned scolding for her, "I meant to also tell you that you better not go endangering yourself like today." Belén sighed, half expecting something like that from him. "When I go out and save people, I don't really want to know that you're the one in need of saving."
"I just wanted to help," Belén nearly broke down into a sob, startling Barry instantly. "I saw the woman was dying in the elevator and I ran to help, but...but I was too late because I took to long to decide. I-I didn't think about being qu-quick...but then you showed up and you...you took me away and I...I saw the woman dead and I thought...I think...it's partially my f-fault because I didn't do anything t-to h-help-"
"Hey-" Barry reached out to calm her down but instead the woman threw her arms around him for a hug. For a good minute or so, Barry stood there without a clue of what to do. The ombre-blonde lightly shook as she sniffled, but her arms clung around him like her life depended on it.
She was clearly affected by what she saw at the mall, and it reminded Barry of the people he couldn't save from past encounters with metahumans. The inevitable feel of guilt nabbed at his mind, forcing him to be ashamed of himself. 'Why didn't you save them?' he heard in his mind constantly. It was a hard feeling to shake off, and without help from anyone, perhaps it would never go away. He had Joe, Caitlin, Cisco and Dr. Wells...but Belén? Who exactly could she go to in this case? Her father would probably have lost it knowing his daughter had been that close to danger. Iris was certainly not in the eligible case either. Nina, perhaps? But even then, it wouldn't be the same. He saved people - this time he just wouldn't be physically saving someone.
"Bells," he said her nickname without thinking, and pulled away slightly to face the blonde. For safety measures, his face blurred and he took a couple steps back.
"You're going to call me that too?" her raspy voice asked him.
"U-uh," Barry blinked, "Y-yes. Yes, if...if that's okay?"
Belén dimly smiled, nodding her head. "Why not, my friends do, and...I think you're a friend too."
"I am," Barry quickly nodded and resumed to what he was planning on saying first. "As a friend, I don't want you thinking that you had a in hand in this murder. The man who killed her was a prisoner she sentenced to execution." Belén gasped, her hand covering her mouth. "He had her in his hit list and he was going to come after her no matter who stood in the way. She didn't deserve to die, but it wasn't your fault it happened."
"H-how did you make that guilty feeling go away, then?"
"Honestly, it's still there, sometimes. I think, 'What the hell were you doing? You didn't save them'. But then at other times I remember that, no matter how quick I am, I'm still only human. I won't always be able to save everyone but I will always try to save them."
Belén bit her lip, seemingly thinking. "So…"
"That does not mean I want you out there playing hero," Barry quickly cut in, making her smile. "I mean it Belén."
"Okay," Belén nodded, agreeing to the term. "I can't be a hero anyways. I don't think I'd make a good one."
"I think you would be fantastic," Barry declared much to her amusement. "But, for now, focus on your journalism."
"A-and my brother's case," Belén felt the need to remind, in case he forgot in the meantime she had been under.
Barry smiled, nodding. "Of course."
"I'm sorry about missing our previous meetings. I...I was a little sick," she briefly explained. "But I'm better now."
"Are you sure?"
"Mhm. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't."
"Alright," Barry let the subject go, seeing she did appear to be better than before. Perhaps what she needed all along was to release her locked up feelings. "How about we call it a night and I take you home?"
Belén agreed with no hint of disappointment. She felt tired from today, and partly from her 'special condition'. She allowed Barry to take her home where she would hopefully get some needed rest.
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Connor/Ratonhnhaké:ton x Fem Soldier! Reader: Whatever It Takes (1)
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Notes from the author: Hey, hey! So here’s another reader-insert for all of ye, AC fans! Another story that has been piled up in my files. I’m still an AC fan, but my focus is more on TF (short for Transformers) especially on More Than Meets The Eye/Lost Light. Anyway, this was supposed to be a one-shot only, but I’ll turn this into 2 parts so I’ll be writing the last part for this soon.
I'll try to see if Connor will have romantic feelings for the reader because, honestly, I'm having a hard time imagining Connor in a relationship. I will try my very best, though.
Part 1: When You Break the Chains - 🔖 Part 2: ? - 📝
Part 1: When You Break the Chains
“Form ranks!”
You stood straight, your head and eyes levelled directly ahead. It felt like you forgot to breathe in and out of air because you were trying to fit in and, well, not get caught.
“Present arms!”
You positioned your bayonet rifle on your right shoulder.
“Position one!”
You scrambled your feet as fast as you can. You didn’t turn your head nor eyes from anywhere but right in front of you. When you were finally in your position, you stood upright once again. You kept your breathing as balanced as possible, only doing so through your nose.
“Position two!”
Another scrambling of feet was heard. After a minute, you felt a presence beside you.
“Hey,” a soldier greeted, his silvery voice reaching your ears while his attention not turning to you.
“Hey,” you returned the greeting.
You knew him as Jude Sidney. He was a Loyalist and always believed that declaring a revolution for the nation’s independence was only a waste of time. As for your own beliefs and ideals, you actually didn’t know what really was right for this nation. You thought you were only doing the right thing because your brother told you so. He got crippled from his last assignment in the field as a soldier and after a month, the British government wanted him back in duty. At first, he didn’t have any choice, but to comply (The British Army needed more handful of men in order to win the war). However, you pleaded that you replaced him instead. You didn’t want to lose him, not after your father’s death from the war as well.
Protests escalated between you two until you decided to go directly to the army and volunteer yourself, without your brother’s consent anymore and only leaving a letter for him. You pretended to be the younger ‘brother’ of your eldest, even wearing men’s clothing and cutting your hair.
Jude found out your actual gender when you got injured on your right side at one incident. You panicked at that time since fighting really wasn’t your specialty, obviosuly. You were unaware that a medium-sized cannon ball struck at an inch beside you, which toppled you at the side and severely sliced your right side with a pointy tree branch. You tried to run away out of panic when Jude found you. He finally discovered the truth when he tried to treat you and you didn’t have a choice, but to tell him the truth.
After that, he kept his mouth sealed. He can sympathize with your story and promised that he will bring you back home alive to your brother.
“Move!”
You marched forward then your group exited to the left, starting to disperse one by one and going to each of their own respective tasks. You were assigned to guard the weaponry room with Jude (because he insisted the captain that he ‘needed to offer an extra hand to you’ since, well, the weapons room was indeed quite spacious).
“This isn’t really necessary,” you told him after going over to the assigned task.
He shrugged, “You say that, but in the end, I know you needed all the help you can get.”
You nasally sighed. “I can handle this, Jude. It’s not like anyone’s attacking the fort.”
“You may be right on that one. But let’s not forget on what happened to one of us here.” He looked to you with amused, but worried eyes.
You glanced down. Indeed, you remember that horrifying news. Words reached your ears that one of the soldiers slaughtered another one of your ranks. The body was sliced into pieces and the internal organs missing, presumably cannibalism took place. You could just vomit with just the thought of it. Said soldier had already been detained, though you heard that he died due to lack of food and water. Worst-case scenarios can happen if they found out that there was a woman among them.
You closed your head momentarily and shook your head a little. Just thinking about it more made you even nauseous. “You really didn’t have to remind me of that...” You opened your eyes afterwards.
Jude laughed quietly. “Oh, sorry about that. Don’t want to clean up your vomit if you ever can’t take it.”
You lightly punched his arm using your elbow. “Shut up already, Jude.” You sighed. “I’m going to go over there. You stay here.” You walked towards another side of the room.
Jude just grinned and chuckled. He found your minor predicament a little enjoying, perhaps to lighten the atmosphere since the fort that the two of you and the rest of the soldiers were in was not really a typical fort.
Fort Wolcott was a small fortification on the small Goat Island, built to protect the nearby town of Newport, Rhode Island. This was named Fort George in 1730, but later changed it into its current name when the British took control of it after Rhode Islanders burned the British customs ship, the HMS Liberty in 1769.
Honestly, you’d been here for two years, and nothing new has changed ever since that rebellion happened a few years ago; same old routines and tasks. Most of the soldiers had grown weary for just being here and even complained on how this was some meaningless assignment. You heard rumors that all of you were only sent here because the captain did something wrong and this was a form of punishment. From what kind of trouble that he did, you also didn’t know. None of you weren’t able to capture that information.
Some 30-ish-year old man came inside the weaponry room and announced, “Come on, ye two! The captain’s callin’ us. He seems pissed.”
Jude groaned, “Probably another lecture from him. He was just pissed last week merely because we’re sleeping on the job.”
The old man gave a ‘tsk’, “Stop complain’, Sidney. I didn’t like this either as much as you also.” He shifted his attention to you and nudged his head, “Look at (L/n). Least he’s not complainin’. Ye can learn from him.”
Jude rolled his eyes. “That’s because he’s playing safe. He doesn’t want to get scolded by the captain, too. I mean, all of us don’t want to be scolded by him.”
“Whatever, Sidney. Can we just go? If we’re late, we’ll be doubling our punishment.” The old man shook his head in disapproval.
He went out first. You approached the young man.
“You okay?” you asked in a concerned tone.
“I’m fine. Just, you know, a little irked,” he answered rather solemnly.
You just held his arm gently, rubbing it up and down, to at least tell him non-verbally that everything’s going to be alright. Though, you highly doubt that everything was far from being fine.
He looked at you. When he saw that reassuring smile of yours, he immediately shifted his eyes all around the room. He breathed in and out of air then took a step at the side, which loosened your hold from him.
“Let’s go!” he finally declared. “The old man’s right. If we’re late, we’ll be receiving twice the harsh punishment.”
You nodded, and the two of you began to move your feet.
***
“You are not trained to comment on strategy nor are you aware of rebel movements!” the captain roared. “We are under orders to hold Fort Wolcott against rebels at all costs! So stop complaining and just do your jobs! The next man I hear questioning the validity of their tasks will receive ten lashes and seven days in the old dungeon without rations! Am I making myself clear?!”
“Yes, sir!” the soldiers bellowed their answers.
“Your duties and other details for the coming week will be in this dirt-sheet. Those who are assigned in B Company will be doing drills and, until they properly execute formations two and three, there will be no rum rations. Sloppy marching will not be tolerated!”
“Yes, sir!”
“Dismissed!”
Each soldier was given a sheet of their assigned tasks. It looked like you got lucky because you weren’t in the B Company list.
“Great,” Jude muttered. “I guess I’m being punished for nothing.”
His name appeared on the list. You grimaced for him and voiced an apology. He just shook his head and gave a small smile.
“I can handle this.” He then whispered, “Just make sure to save me some of those rum.” He winked and proceeded to do the formation.
You watched him strode off with the rest of the soldiers enlisted. As you were about to go back to your daily task (since you weren’t given a new one), the captain called upon you.
“Sir!” you saluted, making sure to make your voice as deep as possible.
“(L/n), you’ll be shifting your post with Rosenshire. He’s guarding the prison. Give this sheet to him. His new post is in here.” He handed to you the piece of paper.
You bobbed your head. “Yes, sir.”
He hummed and left you without any more suspicions. You were still surprised that no one in the army (except for Jude) knew your true identity yet. You were thankful for that and hoped that this luck of yours may not run out.
***
“The captain has a new task for you,” you told Rosenshire upon meeting him in front of the prison, guarding the door.
“New task? From the captain?” he asked, his voice laced with gruffness.
You resist the urge to roll your eyes by just blinking. “Yes, Rosenshire. It’s none other than the captain himself.”
He forcefully grabbed the paper out of you and you just nasally sighed. Some of the soldiers here were really rude. Jude told you not to get to their bad side because they will definitely include you in their most wanted list. Of course, if you want to lock your secret away, you had to avoid conflict as much as possible.
He opened it. He then scoffed loudly. “What’s this? I have to march formations?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “I guess you’re part of B Company then.”
“This’s ridiculous. It’s not like there’re any rebels in here.”
“We can’t be too careful. Look, Captain’s orders, Rosenshire. I’ll be taking your place.”
He shook his head disappointedly. “This’s gettin’ us nowhere at all.” He took off, nonetheless.
You can sympathize with him and the rest of soldiers here. No matter how useless the formations, trainings, guarding and the like, you had to follow orders. Right now, you find yourself doubting why you had to guard a prison cell with no prisoners at all; well, mostly soldiers who weren’t doing good jobs, but all of them were gone because they usually die on natural causes like a disease or extreme hunger.
Standing there felt like an eternity to you. An hour and a half has already passed when you flickered your eyes to two soldiers, a sniper and a grenadier, hurriedly approaching your direction.
“Is there something wrong?” you asked.
“There’s a rebel inside our fort. Alerted some of our ranks and they’re doing a thorough search,” the grenadier answered.
You crunched your brows. “What? That can’t be...”
“We found the fresh dead bodies of Wilkins and Kidstone. And not only them, but also Smith’s and Condor’s, too. Probably we have more,” the sniper reported.
“Just step aside.”
You weren’t given much time to process of the events unfolding right as of this moment as you trailed behind. As you entered the foul-smelling prison, you got a glimpse of an unknown male, dressed in a white-hooded robe, attuned with blue accents. He looked buff and muscular. You also noticed that he had series of weapons at his back and on his waist. He was definitely not your ordinary rebel scum.
Your grenadier ally put out his broad axe and the sniper pointed the musket at him. You also did the same. What could go wrong? He’s outnumbered.
“Let’s see what you got, rebel scum.”
Then, you heard some cannons being fired, which apparently hit the prison roof and destroyed half of it. All of you stepped aside, but lost balance as the rubble impact was too strong. The sniper hit his head and lost his consciousness while you lightly hit yours on the ground. You were still sensible, but temporarily vulnerable as you tried to recompose yourself.
From what you can still witness, the unknown man fought off the grenadier with all of his strength. He had a tomahawk in his hand, but you were able to catch with your eye another blade under his wrist. Were you being delusional now?
You then saw your ally fell to the ground, red liquid spilling off from his neck. You stared at the unknown man and he also did the same. Is he going to kill you, too?
You were interrupted when half of the prison roof collapsed. You scurried yourself out by sliding away from the debris. And that was where you heard a shout,
“We’re under attack!”
You stared at the man again until he decided that it was time to go. He climbed up the roof, using the debris as his scaffold. Obviously, you weren’t going to let him escape that easily. You grabbed your musket and exited towards the now broken door. You kept your eyes at him as he entered the now run-down and burned down building. You shuffled your feet as fast as you can. You heard another yell,
“Captain’s dead! Shot by cannon fire!”
‘That’s not good!’ you mused. ‘Who’s in command now?’
It didn’t matter anymore. Your objective right now is to kill the rebel. As you continued to go to the building, which you knew to be just the very building where you had been ‘lectured’ by the captain, you heard your real name being called.
“(Y/n)!”
“Jude!” you reached out to him.
He was running towards you when you sighted a rooftop was about to fall right under him.
“Jude, stop! Look out!” You glanced up.
It was too late. The debris fell underneath him.
“Jude!” you screamed. You ran to him. You kept calling for him until he responded.
“(Y/n)! Over here!” He sounded in pain.
You feared the worst. His whole left leg was trapped by the rubble. Gasps of rapid breaths were being released every second by the both of you, mostly Jude’s since he was in much bigger pain.
“Jude!” You kneeled beside him, trying to find a way to get him out despite all the panic. “I-I’ll find a way. We’ll just need to get that out.”
He suddenly held your arm tightly, his eyes drooping. “You need to get out of here, (Y/n)... You didn’t deserve to be here... I want you go back to your brother... With the captain gone... this is your chance... You no longer need to serve this nation... Lead a happier life...” He winced and growled in pain.
Your voice quivered, “W-what’re you saying? I’m not leaving you here!”
Another pile of rubble fell a few inches away from you. Jude held you more firmly. “(Y/n), please... Do this for me... Even if I die... at least I get to see you alive... At least... my death wasn’t in vain because... I get to protect you.”
“Jude...” You couldn’t. You couldn’t just leave him like this! There must be a way to get him out of this! You tried to push the wreckage, but it was too heavy. You need some hands for this. You gazed at him one last time with teary eyes. “I’m so sorry...”
Another rubble was about to fall straight at the two of you.
“(Y/n), go!” He pushed you with more force and the debris came down before it could hit you.
“No!!!!!” you shrilled. You then sobbed loudly.
Your emotional side was almost taking control of you, but you were snapped out of it when you saw a familiar white-hooded man in your peripheral vision. Your soldier instincts emerged immediately as you took possession of your musket and pointed it at him. Your eyes began to puff and your cheeks wet from the tears.
You stuttered out, “S-stop, y-you rebel!”
The white-hooded man only observed you. You were trying not to shake too much, but it seemed failing since it was quite obvious that the tip of your musket was having a hard time pointing it to one direction. Your breaths got even more ragged ever since you poured all of your grief out. You were also making an attempt not to be too emotional since that the suspect was right in front of you.
Another blast in between you occurred and the two of you were toppled at the side. You eyed the rebel as he was quick to his feet. With your musket still intact on your hold, you swayed it downwards, which tripped him down. You were about to stab him with the bayonet when he spoke for the first time,
“Wait!”
His voice was clear, light, and pleasant. You were able to make out his facial features under his hood. You could tell that he was not British. With his dark-toned skin color, you could probably deduce that he was of a Native tribe.
“If you want to live, I can help you. You never have to keep your secret.”
You scrunched your brows down. “What?”
Then, the unexpected happened. The Native man countered you with the same method as you did to him. You were knocked on the ground and before you can even regain your composure, something hard hit your face and you were temporarily unconscious.
***
Connor heavily sighed. He didn’t expect a woman to be serving the British Army; a soldier at that. Women weren’t allowed to be part of the war, but here you were. He then obviously assumed that you must had entered the army by acting as a man. You must have a reason as to why you would risk your life joining in a war where hundreds die just for a belief that independence was not necessary for this nation (at least, that was what the British believed).
He didn’t even know what came over him, but he wanted to let you live. He saw your eyes. You cried. He supposed that seeing your fallen comrades made you emotional and fragile; if not the shaking of the hold of the musket was not evident enough. Besides, he had kind of a soft spot for women unless if he was dealing with the ones who were ruthless, then no mercy.
But, you... He saw something different in you. When he felt the anxiety radiating from you, he thought that maybe you didn’t want to be here or be a soldier at all. It was not that he was being heroic or anything, but he just felt compelled to help you out.
He could have left you there or killed you. It was a hassle bringing you since he didn’t have any more time. The fort can go down in any second now. He attempted to be swift in escaping while carrying you until both of you reached a high point. The ocean was just beneath you and jumping, of course, was the only solution.
Your eyes began to flutter open. “Where...?”
“We need to jump,” Connor blandly stated. He put you down, your balance still a little wobbly so he acted as your support.
“W-what…?”
“I apologize if this is rushed. I have no choice, but to touch you.” He enfolded you in his arms and that greatly shocked you.
“W-what are you doing?!” Your eyes widened.
“Hold on!”
He made the leap of faith and you were screaming.
***
“Captain, with all due respect, why did you bring a British soldier in here? You do know that the moment we touch land, he will inform his superiors!” Mr Faulkner was a bit irate, but trying to be calm as much as possible.
“She will not be being doing that, Mr Faulkner,” Connor emphasized your proper gender. The old man thought you were still a man.
Said old man creased his brows. “She?” He then peered to you. “You’re a woman?”
You nasally sighed a tired one. “Yes, I am.”
“I ain’t believing at all. You’re telling me you joined the army, British at that, and not a single one of them knew who you really are?”
You shook your head, but took that back as you spoke, “There is one who knew my real identity. But…” You pursed your lips.
“He is dead,” Connor finished it for you.
“Killed by a debris,” you almost glared at him. Jude would still be alive if it wasn’t for THIS white-hooded man.
“I’m sorry.”
You wanted to argue back. You wanted to beat him so badly. But, even if you do all that, nothing will change a thing. Jude will still not come back. You chose to remain silent and avoid looking at him as much as you can. You actually wanted to avoid punching his face for real.
Though, of course, you should be thankful that if it weren’t for this mysterious white-hooded man, you wouldn’t even be alive now. You wouldn’t even be in his ship right now. Why did he choose to let you live? He could have had the chance to kill you, but he didn’t.
Perhaps, you could try asking him that, however you were not in the mood to even talk to the man because of the events that transpired. You felt infuriated.
Once you reach land, will you be reporting to your superiors about what happened? Or, just go back to your brother and explain what happened?
Connor asked Mr Faulkner to leave and tend to the ship in his place. The old man did so as he exited the captain’s cabin. The Native opened his mouth,
“I was there to retrieve something.”
“And should that include bombarding the fort?” You could no longer contain not scowling at him.
“I have no other means of escape.”
“Then you could have at least tried harder!” You stood (since you had been sitting down) and almost shouted, your anger already evident. “Do you know how many men that I know died out there? If you just decided to just sneak your way out, then Jude could still be-“ You paused. You could feel tears forming in your eyes. You turned your back from him.
‘You have to stay strong, (Y/n). Don’t mourn for his death now,’ your thoughts advised you.
Silence consumed the room for brief moments. Connor spoke once more,
“We will reach Davenport Homestead in three days.”
“What?” Another one of those confusing moments occurred to you as you turned your attention to him. “We’re not going to dock in New York or Boston?”
“I believed in what Mr Faulkner said. I didn’t save you because I trusted you already. I still have doubts about you.”
“Then you could’ve killed me instead!”
“We are not to discuss that. You will be well taken care off and until I can trust you, I will let you decide on your next course. For now, you will be under my supervision.”
You scoffed. “You sound as if you’re my superior.”
“And might I ask who just let you live?”
Your mouth was open, but no words came out. He really got you there. You just puffed out a breath.
“Stay here for the time being. You can take the bed. I can just sleep at the chair.”
You didn’t say anything and definitely didn’t take a glance at him. He just nodded, assuming that you agreed and finally went out of the cabin.
So, apparently, he was taking you a prisoner.
‘Well, he seemed to be a legit captor. If I’m to go back to Boston, I have to earn his trust then,’ you finally decided in your head as you actually took the bed and let sleep devour you, hoping this would be all just a dream. But, you know it wasn’t.
Part 2 ⏩ (WIP)
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tipsycad147 · 4 years
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Atargatis
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Atargatis is a Syrian Goddess of the moon and of the waters.1 She is also known by the names Derceto and Dea Syriae. She was born in the Euphrates, "...like Aphrodite from the foam of the sea."2 Local coins confirm that Atargatis was worshipped at Hierapolis, where she had her own shrine and rites.3
According to legend, Atargatis was the mother of the great Assyrian queen, Semiramis.4 Her mythical story tells us that, after causing the death of her mortal lover and Semiramis' father, Hadad, she jumped into a lake and assumed the form of a fish.5 The water, however, could not hide her divine nature, causing her to take the form of a woman above the waist and a fish below.6 For this reason, she has come to be known as the mermaid goddess.
In his work, De Dea Syria, Lucian of Samosata describes his visit to Atargatis' temple:
"There is too a lake in the same place, not far from the temple in which many sacred fishes of different kinds are reared. Some of these grow to a great size; they are called by names, and approach when called. I saw one of these ornamented with gold, and on its back fin a gold design was dedicated to the temple. I have often seen this fish, and he certainly carried this design. The depth of the lake is immense. I never tested it myself, but they say that it is in depth more than 200 fathoms. In the midst of this lake stands an altar of stone. You would think at first sight that it was floating and moving in the water, and many deem that it is so. The truth seems to me that it is supported by a column of great size, based on the bottom of the lake. It is always decked with ribbons, and spices are therein, and many every day swim in the lake with crowns on their heads performing their acts of adoration." (pp. 45-46)
In her day, worshippers would immerse themselves in her sacred waters to offer praise. They would keep and adorn living fish in her honour. Atargatis was an aspect of the Universal Mother and her life-giving waters.
One way modern worshippers choose to honour and connect with Atargatis is to call out to her directly. Try sitting by a body of water and opening up to receive any messages that come through. You can hold a specific question in mind, or let the goddess' wisdom flow into the quiet. Afterwards, write or draw what you experienced. Don't forget to leave a gift in her honour; consider leaving a treat for her sacred fish to enjoy.
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Atargatis by Annie Stegg http://pinkparasol.deviantart.com/
I sat by flowing water one beautiful evening and asked Atargatis to tell me who she was...
I am...water I am flow I am you letting go
Roll with the waves Follow the current
I am always guiding you Moving you, gently leading you
To... where you need to be who you need to be with and what you need to do
...for your Spirit to grow.
If you listen closely, you will hear the sound of the waters rush by your ear as I advise you:
"Smile at that person..." "Go to that gathering..." "Act on that thought you just had!"
If you let me, I will guide you toward that which you already possess: a life filled with beauty, meaning, and love. If you let me, I will wash away all that you do not need: fear, worry, anxiety, hurt, shame, and the like. Give it all to me. I will wash it away. If it comes back, I will wash it away again. We will do this work together. Together, we will uncover the real you. Radiant and joyful, loving and free.
I will teach you to follow your intuition, the goddess-within. I will teach you to free yourself to go as you are guided.
To flow.
Sometimes the waters are still Then it is good to be calm. Sometimes the waters rush over rocks Then it is good to be flexible. Sometimes you get stuck on the shore Then it is good to be patient. Sometimes the waters overflow Then it is good to take the space that you need. Sometimes the rains come And it is time to be washed clean so you can begin again.
I have much to teach if you will but listen. Come to find me. Seek me at the water's edge. Dance as the rain pours down. Seek me in lakes and streams, Oceans and Rivers. Then, we can begin.
~Received by Riversong on June 17, 2014
Atargatis Chant Beads Chant beads are one way to readily connect with the energy of the Goddess. As you continue to use the beads, the chants become second nature, and the mind becomes free to journey into Wholeness.
Using a physical object, such as a string of beads, is also helpful for sensory recall. If you are able to consistently use the beads to achieve a certain feeling or mind-state (peaceful, open, focused, etc.), then before long simply handling the beads will easily bring about that sacred state of being. You will be able to go deeper, quicker.
To make your own Atargatis chant beads, you will need:
45 small shell beads 4 large shell beads One pendant to represent the Goddess (I used a mesmerising ammonite spiral) Beading wire
String your beads in 3 groups of 13, with 3 extra small beads on either side of your pendant.
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Atargatis Chant Beads created and photographed by Riversong
For this sacred prayer time, I really wanted to focus on the life-giving power of water, its divine flow in our lives, and our connection with the watery realm of emotion. I wrote a chant to call in Atargatis' energy, and used pieces from other chants I learned from the Reclaiming community. http://www.reclaimingquarterly.org/web/chants04/chants04.txt
On the Goddess Pendant: Connect with the Divine in the form of the goddess, Atargatis.
On each of the next three beads, chant:
Atargatis, Mermaid Goddess, Mother of the Sea. Your waters flow through my veins, Your love surrounds me. On the first large bead, get in touch with the Spark of Divinity which resides within you. It is beautiful and radiant, just as you are beautiful and radiant. This radiance is our gift from the Goddess. The journey to self-realisation is really a process whereby we work to uncover our true divine nature, our goddess-ness. We are all on our way back to Her. Chant on each of the 13 smaller beads:
We all come from the Goddess and to Her we shall return like a drop of rain flowing to the Ocean
~Z. Budapest
On the second large bead, meditate on being Part of the Flow. Life on Earth originated in the Waters. That means that, in truth, every being is our brother and our sister. We could even say that every living being is a reflection of, or a part of, ourselves. Relax and begin to awaken feelings of compassion for yourself and others. Feel the connection. We are all in this together.
Chant on each of the 13 smaller beads:
The river is flowing Flowing and growing The river is flowing Down to the sea
~from the Reclaiming chant book
On the third large bead, focus on your Desires and Emotions. Our thoughts not only affect our experiences, but they even create them. Spend some time visualising what you truly desire - for yourself, for others, and for the world. If there is anything that is troubling or "blocking" you, give it away to the Ocean Mother, who transforms pain into growth, and makes muddy waters clear again.
Chant on each of the 13 smaller beads:
Born of Water Cleansing, Powerful, Healing, Changing, We are!
~Women's Workshop
On the fourth large bead, again call to mind Atargatis. Thank Her for her presence and any insight/comfort/support/inspiration she may have provided you in this prayer time.
On each of the three final beads, chant:
Atargatis, Mermaid Goddess, Mother of the Sea. Your waters flow through my veins Your love surrounds me.
Riversong's Mermaid Runes and Affirmations
Divination can be a powerful form of prayer. I and many others use it daily as a way to "check in" with the Higher Self or Guiding Goddess. I was inspired to make these runes with my daughter one afternoon. We each made a set with glass beads and a paint pen. Later, I asked Atargatis for a message from each form, and this is what came through. I have placed them on my altar in a glass bowl, and enjoy choosing an affirmation each day!
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Atargatis Runes created and photographed by Riversong
Spiral: Look within. It is a good time to do some quiet meditation.
I go within to bring forth wisdom. I go within to find my truth.
Comb: Nurture yourself. Take care of your body by giving it enough water, healthy foods, exercise and rest.
I take the time to listen to my body and to give it what it needs.
Star: Make a wish. Voicing your wish is the first step toward manifestation.
My thoughts are powerful. My thoughts create my experience.
Calm Waters: Flow. You can be sure that you are safe and supported by the Universe.
I relax and trust that all things are working together for the highest and best outcome for all.
Fish: Friends. Now is the time to seek out the company and/or help of others.
I am surrounded by loving, kind, and supportive friends.
Moon: Cycles. Pay attention to the cycles of the moon and how they affect your body and/or emotions.
I release the old and welcome the new. The cycle continues and I begin again.
Shell: Home matters. Arrange a space in your home that nourishes your spirit. Refresh and regroup with family.
My home is a warm and loving space. It gives me comfort.
Trident: Protection. Stand up for what and in whom you believe.
I am the guardian of that which I hold dear.
Harp: Music. Sing, chant, drum, or dance your feelings.
I express myself through sacred song.
Heart: Love matters. You may be experiencing a new or renewed love. Passion and compassion are equally important.
My heart is open. I am ready to give and receive love.
Sun: Enlightenment. You have the ability to see things clearly now.
Everywhere I look, there is beauty.
Rapids: Rough going. Remember that all challenges hold within them the possibility for growth.
When the waters get rough, I will enjoy the ride.
Goddess: Atargatis. Call upon the goddess to bless and empower your intention. Atargatis, Ataratheh. Derketo, Dea Syriae. Great Goddess of the Sea, may your power flow through me like water. Bless my work. So mote it be.
Matthews, John and Caitlin, The Element Encyclopedia of Magical Creatures, Harper Collins Publishers, Hammersmith, London, 2005, p.43
Lucian, The Syrian Goddess, tr.by Herbert A. Strong and John Garstang, 1913, at http://sacred-texts.com , http://sacred-texts.com/cla/luc/tsg/tsg07.htm . Note on 52:25
Ibid.
Ibid., fn 1, p.157
Ibid., fn 1, p.157
Ibid., fn 4
http://www.orderwhitemoon.org/goddess/atargatis/index.html
Picture http://mystifyinghearts.blogspot.com
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smilingformoney · 4 years
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America’s Most Eligible 3 Diamond Scene: Down Time with Derek
You: I’ve been waiting all day to get my hands on you too. Derek: I was hoping you’d say that. Derek closes the door to the massage room and locks it with a flourish. You: This place makes me feel like royalty. Derek: You are royalty, Stacey. Derek: Especially in that outfit. All I wanna do is serve your every whim. You: Flattery will get you everywhere. Derek: That’s what I was banking on. Derek wraps an arm around your waist, drawing you closer, before bringing your lips crashing into his. Your mouth slips open as his hands explore every inch of your shoulders… your back… lower… You: Wow. You weren’t kidding. Derek: What can I say? I’m a hands-on kind of guy. Do you want me to stop? You: Of course not, but…
You: You should… -Let me give you the grand tour.
Feeling extra sexy in your lingerie, you hook your fingers in the waistband of your bottoms teasingly and grind your hips, threatening to reveal the skin underneath. Derek’s eyes follow your every move. You: I know all the best spots. Derek: Then lead the way. You take his hands and use them to touch yourself, starting at the top of your head and pushing his fingers into your hair. With one hand, Derek grabs a fistful and uses it to tilt your head back, exposing your neck. His lips kiss and taste the saltiness of your skin there as his other hand continues to explore your body, caressing your chest, your stomach, your… You: Oh! A slight gasp escapes your lips as his rough fingers graze your sensitive skin. He presses a kiss just below your ear before whispering low and seductively. Derek: Looks like I found your favourite.
-Look before you touch.
Feeling extra sexy in your lingerie, you hook your fingers in the waistband of your bottoms teasingly and grind your hips, threatening to reveal the skin underneath. Derek’s eyes follow your every move. You: That means hand off until I say otherwise. Derek: This sounds like the best kind of torture. You: It is. And you’re gonna love every second of it. You close your eyes and run your hands over your frame, throwing your head back as you reintroduce yourself to the parts of your body through touch alone. You move your outfit aside, exposing flashes of covered skin. Derek: Stacey… You: I think you’ve waited long enough. He closes the gap between you with one powerful stride before claiming your mouth with his own. His fingers mirror the path yours took, and, as your heart rate quickens, you fight back a moan. When you speak, you can hear the desperation in your voice.
You: Derek…
You: Let’s… -Get comfortable.
You: The way this is headed, we’re in for a long night. We should pace ourselves. Derek: Everything in me is screaming full speed ahead, but I’ll do my best. Derek’s lips find the hollow of your neck as he backs you up toward one of the massage beds. The warmth of his hands on your bare skin sends your blood racing through your veins. As the two of you collapse into the comforter, he brushes his mouth across your chest, licking and nibbling as he settles in between your legs.
-Be a little adventurous!
You: We are at a luxury resort, on a private island… Derek: I’m way ahead of you. Derek presses your back against the door, and his fingers squeeze the curve of your backside before finding your thigh and hitching your leg up to rest on his hip. You brace yourself against the door, and, using it as leverage, wrap your other leg around him. He brings his lips to yours and carries you across the room, and places you down on one of the massage beds. You hook your ankles behind him and draw his hips closer to the fire burning between your legs.
Derek: I can’t get enough of you. You: Let’s hope you feel the same way in fifty years. He pulls back and repositions himself to look you directly in the eyes. Derek We’re getting married, Jamie. I’m gonna feel like this for the rest of my life. You: That’s an awfully long time. You sure? Derek: Absolutely. How cans I prove it to you?
You: You could… -Hold me.
You: I just want to cuddle with you. Is that okay? Derek: Spending the next fifty years with you in my arms sounds perfect to me. The two of you melt into the soft leather, your back to Derek’s chest, his arms holding you close. He breathes in the smell of your skin and plants a gentle kiss on your jawline. You sigh. You: In a few weeks, this’ll just be a part of our routine. Derek: With you in my life, I don’t think there’ll be anything routine about it ever again. You: Hopefully, that’s a good thing. Derek: Of course. Every day that I spend with you is better than the last, and I can’t wait to have this forever. You turn over to see the sincerity in Derek’s eyes before finding his hand and squeezing it with your own. He presses his forehead to yours, closes his eyes, and the two of you pass the rest of the afternoon intertwined, content to listen to the gentle rise and fall of each other’s breathing.
-Take me.
You: I want all of you, now and forever. Derek: I was hoping you’d say that. Derek’s lips find yours and lock them in a deep kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he pushes aside the fabric of your outfit. He brings his hips to meet yours without removing a single article of clothing. You sink your teeth into his shoulder to silence a moan. You: Shouldn’t we get undressed? Derek: No time. I need you now. The additional friction adds a layer of excitement as you two find your rhythm together, and soon, you buck your hips against his in desperation as a frantic need builds inside you. You: Yes!... Yes! Derek: Jamie… Together, you call out in delicious ecstasy as two become one in your conjoined bliss…
Later… Derek gazes up at the ceiling as he strokes your hair lovingly. Derek: This is a beautiful spa. You: Tell me about it. Memory foam massage beds, 2000 threat count sheets… If they have room service at the hot tub, I vote we should skip dinner and stay here. Derek: Not a bad idea, but I actually meant the décor. This spa alone is incredibly detailed. You: Well, you would know, Mr. ‘Artist’. I hope my shabby-chic décor stands a chance when we move in together. Derek: I’m sure we’ll come up with something that suits us both. What would you want our house to look like?
You: It should be… -A reflection of us. +50
You: Our first home together should be an introduction to who we are. Derek: It’s a good thing I saved my AME audition reel then.
-A family home. +50
Derek: Do you really think we’re ready to start a family of our own? You: Two people count as a family, and even if we’re not ready… No harm in practicing until we are.
-Glamorous! +50
You: We’re rich now! We should live like the rich and famous do. Not to mention anything less than the absolute lap of luxury would be a major step down from AME. Derek: We might even be able to swing it into a spinoff. America’s Most Stylish, here we come.
You: I just hope we like the final product. Derek: No matter where we end up or how we decorate, wherever you are is where I’ll call home. You: Charmer. Derek: Was that a complaint? You: Not at all. You press a gentle kiss to his lips and drink in the subtle scent of his skin, warm against yours. He nibbles on your bottom lip before pulling away with a smile. Derek: At this rate, we’ll never leave the spa, and as nice as room service at our place sounds, we should at least show our faces at dinner. You: Fine, but afterwards, I say we make a break for it and come right back here. Derek: Deal. The two of you climb off the massage bed and trade loving touches back and forth as you make your way back to your room to prepare for your elegant dinner on the island.
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Black Bear Hunting With A Crossbow
Drew {got|received|acquired|obtained|bought} me settled into the stand as we excitedly chattered about the {experience|encounter|expertise|knowledge|practical experience}, {both|each|the two|equally|both equally} agreeing that bear was a shooter. There are {several|a number of|numerous|many|various} {different|various|distinct|diverse|unique} {packages|deals|offers} {available|accessible|obtainable|offered|readily available} for the Mission Sniper Lite crossbow and all {offer|provide|supply|offer you|present} {different|various|distinct|diverse|unique} optics and {accessories|add-ons|equipment|components|extras}.
It {offers|provides|gives|delivers|presents} {longer|lengthier|for a longer time|more time|extended} limb {life|lifestyle|existence|daily life|lifetime}. {It’s|It is} {easy|simple|straightforward|effortless|uncomplicated} to cock ({draw|attract}). It has an anti dry fire {system|method|program|technique|process}. The Empire Aggressor weighs a {light|mild|gentle|light-weight} 6.2 {pounds|lbs|kilos|lbs .}, {perfect|ideal|excellent|best|great} for {those|these|individuals|people|all those} {long|lengthy|extended|prolonged|very long} {days|times} out in the {field|area|discipline|subject|industry}.
You have to {consider|think about|contemplate|take into account|look at} the {size|dimension|measurement|dimensions|sizing} and {shape|form|condition} of the bow, the {size|dimension|measurement|dimensions|sizing} of the arrow, the {draw|attract} {weight|excess weight|bodyweight|fat|body weight}, the {draw|attract} {length|size|duration}, and other {factors|elements|aspects|variables|components} that also apply to “regular” bows.
We also listen to a {lot|great deal|good deal|whole lot|ton} of {complaints|grievances|issues|problems} about the string switching to a new {location|place|area|spot|site} {after|following|right after|soon after|immediately after} {every|each|each and every|every single|just about every} shot. {Third|3rd}, the ammo, which {actually|really|truly|in fact|essentially} appears like an arrow, is so {good|great|excellent|very good|fantastic} a blessing for {hunting|searching|looking} crossbow that they are {cheap|inexpensive|low-cost|low cost|affordable} and are gladly reusable.
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The scope is none other than the most {expensive|costly|pricey|high-priced|high priced} scope Twilight DLX scope and it goes {without|with out|without having|with no|devoid of} {saying|stating|declaring|expressing|indicating} that it {adds|provides} up the {accuracy|precision} of the best crossbow.
But by {far|much|significantly|considerably} the {best|very best|greatest|ideal|finest} {thing|factor|point|issue|matter} about this bow is the insanely {low|reduced|minimal|lower|very low} {12|twelve} lb {draw|attract} that {still|nonetheless|nevertheless|even now|however} releases an arrow {better|much better|far better|greater|superior} than {400|four hundred} fps. If you want a {fast|quick|quickly|rapidly|rapid} shot, {choose|select|pick|decide on|opt for} the compound {type|kind|sort|variety|form} of bow {because|simply because|since|due to the fact|mainly because} it {stores|shops|retailers|merchants|outlets} power. Bolts also {determine|figure out|decide|establish|ascertain} {speed|pace|velocity}, so {choose|select|pick|decide on|opt for} the appropriate {size|dimension|measurement|dimensions|sizing} and power.
Power is the {single|solitary|one} most {important|essential|crucial|critical|significant} {factor|aspect|element|issue|component} to {consider|think about|contemplate|take into account|look at} when weeding out the {low|reduced|minimal|lower|very low} {quality|high quality|top quality|good quality|excellent} crossbows. Flight Groove - The flight groove {holds|retains} the bolt in {place|location|spot|area|position} and {ensures|guarantees|assures|makes certain|makes sure} that the arrow proceeds {immediately|instantly|right away|quickly|promptly} and {directly|straight|immediately|right|specifically} {forward|ahead} when the {trigger|set off|cause|bring about|induce} is pulled.
Bear Archery introduces Karnage Crossbows, a new {brand|brand name|model|manufacturer} of {fast|quick|quickly|rapidly|rapid}, {accurate|correct|precise|exact}, {lethal|deadly} weapons you can {depend|rely|count} on. The Karnage {brand|brand name|model|manufacturer} is launching with two {models|designs|versions|types|styles}, the Apocalypse and Apocalypse LS.
{It’s|It is} the {rare|uncommon|unusual|exceptional|scarce} {factory|manufacturing facility|manufacturing unit}-mounted scope that {doesn’t|does not} {produce|create|generate|make|develop} arrows-touching {accuracy|precision} at {20|twenty} yards, and in most {cases|instances|circumstances|situations|scenarios} {fine|good|fantastic|wonderful|high-quality}-tuning at the {range|variety|assortment|selection|array} {means|indicates|implies|signifies|suggests} a {click|click on|simply click} or two of elevation or windage to {suit|fit|match|go well with|accommodate} the {individual|person|personal|specific|particular person} shooter.
This {one|1|a single|one particular|just one} also ships with arrows, quiver, the {same|exact same|identical|very same|similar} powerful scope as you get with the Titan, and a {noise|sound|sounds}-dampening {kit|package} to {cut|reduce|lower|minimize|slice} down on hum even {further|additional|more|even more|even further}.
Rated {4|four} out of {5|five} by Tucker from {Great|Fantastic|Excellent|Wonderful|Good} {Add|Include|Incorporate|Insert|Increase}-on! The SteddyEddy monopod is a {great|fantastic|excellent|wonderful|good} {add|include|incorporate|insert|increase}-on to your TenPoint crossbow. {Shooting|Capturing|Taking pictures} with a gun is {indeed|certainly|without a doubt|in fact|in truth} a noisy {business|company|enterprise|organization|small business} and {hence|therefore|consequently|that's why|for this reason} {hunting|searching|looking} crossbows are {perfect|ideal|excellent|best|great} to equip for a stealth and {successful|effective|productive|profitable|prosperous} chase in the wild.
Get {one|1|a single|one particular|just one} {today|these days|right now|nowadays|currently} {Features|Attributes|Functions|Characteristics|Capabilities} Excalibur crossbow Crossbow String Matrix String 1992 for matrix crossbows {Additional|Extra|Further|Added|More} {Information|Info|Details|Data|Facts} {Manufacturer|Producer|Maker|Company}: Excalibur Crossbow {Shipping|Transport|Delivery|Shipping and delivery} {Weight|Excess weight|Bodyweight|Fat|Body weight} (pound) : .2 {Shipping|Transport|Delivery|Shipping and delivery} {Dimensions|Proportions}: Width: 3.00 {Length|Size|Duration}: 8.40 {Height|Peak|Top}: 1.30 {Free|Totally free|Free of charge|Cost-free|Absolutely free} {shipping|transport|delivery|shipping and delivery} to the {lower|reduce|reduced|decrease|decreased} {48|forty eight} states!
{After|Following|Right after|Soon after|Immediately after} {reading|studying|reading through|looking through|looking at} the Owner's {Manual|Guide|Handbook} and assembling the crossbow, I then headed off to the apply bale. {After|Following|Right after|Soon after|Immediately after} two shots at {thirty|30} yards I was {dead|lifeless|useless} {center|middle|heart|centre}. This crossbow will {provide|offer|supply|give|present} you all you {wanted|needed|desired|wished|required} and its compact {package|package deal|bundle|deal|offer} will {help|assist|aid|support|enable} you to {carry|have} it {anywhere|anyplace|everywhere|wherever|any place} you want to.Excalibur Crossbow Null Matrix SMF Grizzly Crossbow is {good|great|excellent|very good|fantastic} in all {features|attributes|functions|characteristics|capabilities}.
90.6 ft-lb. ----------------- ----------------- ----- We can not {accept|take|acknowledge|settle for} returns on a crossbow that has been assembled and/or shot. {However|Nevertheless|Nonetheless|Even so|On the other hand}, the {situation|scenario|circumstance|predicament|condition} {becomes|gets to be|turns into|gets|will become} doubly {confusing|perplexing|complicated|puzzling|baffling} when you {add|include|incorporate|insert|increase} the {budget|spending budget|price range|funds|finances} {aspect|element|facet|factor|part} to the {decision|choice|selection|determination|final decision} {making|creating|producing|generating|building} matrix.
I {wonder|question|surprise|ponder|speculate} how {many|numerous|several|a lot of|quite a few} gold {coins|cash} can Barry {actually|really|truly|in fact|essentially} {saves|will save} / {acquire|obtain|get|purchase|receive}, and how {much|a lot|significantly|considerably|substantially} he would have {acquired|obtained} up {until|till|until finally|right up until|until eventually} now, assuming he took {every|each|each and every|every single|just about every} {opportunity|chance|possibility|prospect|option} to amass them.
It will not make any {difference|distinction|big difference|variation|variance} when {you’re|you are} {practicing|training|practising|working towards} or {while|whilst|although|even though|when} you are {still|nonetheless|nevertheless|even now|however} {learning|studying|understanding|finding out|mastering} about how they all {work|function|perform|operate|get the job done}.{Once|As soon as|When|After|The moment} {you’re|you are} {sure|certain|positive|confident|absolutely sure} that this {sport|activity} and {lifestyle|way of life|life-style|life style|way of living} is for you, you can {slowly|gradually|little by little|slowly and gradually|bit by bit} {start|begin|commence|start off|start out} to experiment with {different|various|distinct|diverse|unique} arrows.
It {features|attributes|functions|characteristics|capabilities} a {sturdy|durable|strong} development that is {well|nicely|effectively|properly|very well} {balanced|well balanced} and its {smooth|easy|clean|sleek} {performance|overall performance|efficiency|functionality|effectiveness} {ensures|guarantees|assures|makes certain|makes sure} {accurate|correct|precise|exact} shots. On the way {across|throughout} the bay we stopped and checked the crab pots we’d dropped {earlier|previously|before} in the {day|working day}, which {were|had been|have been|ended up|were being} {full|complete|total|entire|whole} of Dungeness crabs.
The Stealth is a {great|fantastic|excellent|wonderful|good}, and {safe|secure|protected|risk-free|safe and sound}, way to pas the time. {Featuring|That includes|Showcasing} {safe|secure|protected|risk-free|safe and sound} sucker darts, {easy|simple|straightforward|effortless|uncomplicated} cocking and a {surprising|shocking|stunning|astonishing} {range|variety|assortment|selection|array} {capability|functionality|ability|capacity} this will {keep|maintain|preserve|hold|retain} a..
The {invention|creation} of the crossbow in {ancient|historical|historic} China {caused|brought on|triggered|induced|brought about} a {major|significant|main|key|big} {shift|change} in the {role|function|part|position|purpose} of projectile weaponry. But why do you {need|require|want|need to have|will need} {one|1|a single|one particular|just one}? When I {got|received|acquired|obtained|bought} {within|inside|inside of|in|within just} {100|one hundred|a hundred} yards of the bruin, the wind {changed|altered|modified|transformed|adjusted}. {Quickly|Rapidly|Swiftly|Speedily|Promptly} I backtracked and {hit|strike} the {beach|seaside|seashore|beach front} {before|prior to|just before|ahead of|in advance of} he {got|received|acquired|obtained|bought} a whiff of me.
{However|Nevertheless|Nonetheless|Even so|On the other hand}, the {stock|inventory} does not {contain|include|have|incorporate|consist of} an integral cocking {device|gadget|unit|system|product} and {thus|therefore|hence|as a result|consequently}, the bow {must|should|need to|have to|ought to} be cocked manually but, with a {draw|attract} {weight|excess weight|bodyweight|fat|body weight} of just {150|one hundred fifty|a hundred and fifty} lbs.
This {product|item|solution|merchandise|product or service} is {too|as well|also|way too|far too} {good|great|excellent|very good|fantastic} for hunters {because|simply because|since|due to the fact|mainly because} it has a {high|higher|large|substantial|significant} {performance|overall performance|efficiency|functionality|effectiveness} and has a {lightweight|light-weight} {design|style|design and style|layout|style and design}. It also {best|very best|greatest|ideal|finest} in {safety|security|basic safety|protection} {features|attributes|functions|characteristics|capabilities}. And it {really|truly|actually|genuinely|seriously} {fits|matches|suits} in your {budget|spending budget|price range|funds|finances}.
That {means|indicates|implies|signifies|suggests} {it’s|it is} {almost|nearly|virtually|practically|just about} as {light|mild|gentle|light-weight} as the Wicked Ridge but packs {more|much more|a lot more|far more|additional} power. The arrow and broadhead {setup|set up} {must|should|need to|have to|ought to} weigh at {least|minimum|the very least} {300|three hundred} grains {total|complete|whole|overall|full}. Only electronics that do not {project|venture|undertaking|task|job} {external|exterior} {light|mild|gentle|light-weight} can be applied.
{Because|Simply because|Since|Due to the fact|Mainly because} of the {very|extremely|really|quite|incredibly} {small|little|tiny|modest|smaller} {size|dimension|measurement|dimensions|sizing} of the animal, {under|below|beneath|underneath|less than} the fur, even the shoulder shot that {had|experienced} been {attempted|tried} was no {good|great|excellent|very good|fantastic}. This crossbow is {much|a lot|significantly|considerably|substantially} lighter than the {rest|relaxation} of the {cheap|inexpensive|low-cost|low cost|affordable} crossbows and {still|nonetheless|nevertheless|even now|however} packs a {good|great|excellent|very good|fantastic} {amount|quantity|sum|volume|total} of punch.
Wicked Ridge {products|goods|items|merchandise|solutions} {far|much|significantly|considerably} exceed {performance|overall performance|efficiency|functionality|effectiveness} {expectations|anticipations} and earns {high|higher|large|substantial|significant} praise in the {field|area|discipline|subject|industry}. This profile {allows|enables|permits|makes it possible for|lets} you to get {over|more than|above|in excess of|about}, up, {through|via|by means of|by way of|by}, and {around|about|close to|all around|all over} {barriers|obstacles|limitations|boundaries} {much|a lot|significantly|considerably|substantially} {easier|simpler|less difficult|less complicated|much easier}.
{4|four} Diablo arrows appear with this arrow which {works|functions|operates|performs|will work} like a appeal. TenPoint Venom also has {one|1|a single|one particular|just one} of the {best|very best|greatest|ideal|finest} scopes that {improves|enhances|increases} the {accuracy|precision} of {spotting|recognizing} a {target|goal|focus on|concentrate on}.
7 notes · View notes