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#diego catching it ONE time and gloating but then five gets him again
fivesandknives · 3 years
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Five throwing stuff at his siblings but just when its about to connect with them, he portals it back into his hand
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yeah-klave · 4 years
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The Sexual Awakening of David Joseph Katz
Chapter 1: Fun and Games
Series summary:  A multi-chapter journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening.
Chapter summary: In the wake of a storm, The Umbrella Academy siblings and their friends pass the time playing truth or dare, and slowly, secret feelings are revealed.
Genre: Hidden feelings, mutual pining, developing relationship, eventual smut (although none in this chapter).
A/N: This is set in a nothing-too-bad-really-happens modern AU. The characters are all in their early twenties (I’m picturing adult!actor versions of them and Dave is the Cody Ray Thompson version!). The siblings are all still living at home, relatively happily, and Dave, Lila, Sissy and Carl are friends who hang out with them at the Academy.
Word length: 3.3k
Warning: Mention of canon compliant incestuous feelings, but nothing explicit and there won’t be any actual sibling incest.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of The Umbrella Academy characters or settings.
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The tail end of a storm was blowing over the city. Dirty cotton wool clouds hung low in the sky and the angry gunfire of rain had finally begun to ease into a soothing staccato patter again the windowpanes. The muggy heat of the last month, that had previously pressed against the skin like wet clothes, had broken at last.
Inside The Umbrella Academy, the gang lounged, languid in the quiet calm that the change in the weather had brought: Luther staring out of a window, Diego and Lila sitting cross-legged with a pile of balled up foil candy wrappers competitively aiming at a coffee mug abandoned on the floor, Carl and Sissy curled in a chair, Ben reading, Five scribbling in a notebook, Vanya and Dave sitting at the counter playing a quiet game of cards and Klaus reclining on the sofa, one leg thrown over the back and his head resting in Allison lap who was absently playing with his hair.
“Looks like it’s finally easing up out there,” Luther commented.
“Umm,” Allison agreed. “That was a pretty bad one.”
“I wonder how long the power’s going to stay off,” worried Vanya.
“Don’t you have a back-up generator in this mansion?” Lila quipped, elbowing Diego then lobbing a balled-up foil wrapper across the room where it landed directly in the mug. “Yes!” She turned to Diego and pulled a face. Diego frowned.
“We could play a game,” suggested Sissy. “My sister and I play one like Truth or Dare, but it’s just Truth. We could try that?”
“You know what would be better that Truth or Truth, Sissy?” said Carl smirking, “Truth or Dare.”
“Okay,” Sissy laughed shyly, “I guess we can be a bit more adventurous!”
“Well as it’s your idea, Sissy, do you want to go first?” Luther asked kindly.
“Okay,” she nodded, “truth.”
The others paused for a moment, thinking.
“What’s your… guilty pleasure?” Allison asked finally.
“Oh, that’s a good one. Um, let me think. I’d probably have to say, daytime tv murder mysteries – Murder She Wrote, Diagnosis Murder, those yellow writing made-for-TV films. So cheesy, I know, but there’s something so comforting about them. I like to watch them curled up on the sofa with hot tea and some biscuits. But Carl teases me about them all the time. Don’t you, Carl?”
Carl scoffed. “Yes, because they’re brain-rotting drivel!”
Vanya frowned. “No, they’re not! I love those shows too. I think that was a great answer, Sissy.”
Sissy smiled shyly and ducked her head trying to hide her blush.
“Right,” she replied after a moment, “my turn to choose. Allison, truth or dare?”
“Truth”
“Okay, same question – what’s your guilty pleasure?”
“Long showers” Allison replied straight away. “Taking my time to wash my hair, using my favourite coconut body wash, just standing and feeling the spray on my skin and all the way to my scalp, letting my muscles all unwind under the press of the hot water. Washing the day away. Then getting out and wrapping up in a big fluffy towel. Bliss.”
“Well aren’t we all being sentimental today?” Klaus grinned rolling his eyes, “I thought truth or dare was code for ‘tell us who you secretly fancy and what you’ve done in bed’.”
Dave stomach flipped over and he concentrated very hard on the cards in his hands.
“Shut up Klaus,” Luther said.
“I guess it’s what you make it,” Diego laughed, throwing a foil ball across the room, where it hit the rim of the mug and bounced off.
“Ha,” gloated Lila.
“Okay Klaus,” Allison cut in, “Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Klaus replied instantly.
“Right,” Allison challenged, “I dare you to run a lap of the courtyard, as fast as you can.”
“Fine,” Klaus sighed dramatically, unfolding himself from his position on the sofa and standing up. “Kind of boring, but fine. I mean, it’s still raining pretty hard and I’ll get soaked. And these pants are not designed for running in.” Dave flicked his eyes up, caught sight of Klaus sticking his leg out in a pose, displaying the curve of his backside in the tight pants and looked away again quickly, his face heating up.
“But whatever,” Klaus huffed. “I’ll do it, and then I’ll get to pick next.” He looked around the room, glancing at the others then caught Dave’s eye and smiled mischievously. Dave’s stomach clenched again.
Klaus casually ran his fingers through his wild curls. As ever, his hair loosely settled in a slightly chaotic disorder that Klaus hoped looked carefree and haphazard, but which his siblings knew he actually secretly practiced in front of the mirror. He wandered across the room, flicking Ben’s ear on his way to the door. Ben swatted at him.
Dave watched Klaus go, his eyes furtively following the strip of flat, toned stomach visible between the hem of Klaus’ cropped tee and the waistband of his low-slung tight leather pants.
Slowly, everyone got up from their various positions around the living area and tramped after him.
At the door to the courtyard, Klaus turned and flashed a quick grin at them all, raising his fingers to his temple in a mock salute. Then, he wrenched the door open and lurched off, sprinting out into the rain, his long legs making him look a little gangly and uncoordinated.
The others watched from the doorway as he hurtled around the far side of the courtyard and then began jogging back in the direction of the door. A couple of times his boots skidded on the sodden ground and he nearly overbalanced, but he just managed to right himself in time. The others laughed from inside.
“Graceful,” Ben teased.
“Shut up,” Klaus barked as he crashed back through the door in a shower of water droplets. The others jumped back quickly.
The pounding rain from earlier had eased considerably, but it was still falling in steady sheets. Klaus was soaked through, water running from his hair in rivulets and the fabric of his tee sticking to the toned muscle beneath. Dave caught himself staring at the water droplets running from the sharp jut of his jawline down the column of his neck and flicked his eyes away guiltily.
Laughing, Klaus pushed the wet hair from his face, then proceeded to shake as much water off as he could.
“Hey dude!” Diego laughed with him, “stop trying to shake yourself dry like a dog and just get a towel like a normal person!”
Klaus grinned again, but before setting off in the direction of the bathroom, he carefully toed off one boot, then the other, then reached down and in one fluid motion, peeled the tee off his body and over his head. As he did, Dave’s eyes traveled up the expanse of glistening, rain-slickened skin and taut muscle, his mouth suddenly going dry.
Klaus wrung out the tee as best he could through the door, then hung it on the back of a chair to dry off. He then padded away in search of a towel. The others drifted back into the living room to their previous positions.
Dave poured himself a glass of water from the tap in the kitchen, then headed back to the living room and sat down on one of the sofas.
After a few minutes, Klaus wandered back into the room, rubbing a towel briskly over his head, then flopped down on the sofa next to Dave.
“Right,” Klaus smirked. “My turn. And rather than picking one person, I’ve got a dare I want to challenge you all to take part in. Everyone game? And before you say anything, anyone that backs out is just asking to be called chicken for the next year or so, or until I forget. And yes, I’m looking at you, Number One.” Klaus flashed Luther a cheeky grin, his eyes twinkling.
The others all eyed each other warily, but nobody said anything.
“Okay then,” Klaus carried on, “I take it everyone’s on board?” The others nodded reluctantly.
“Then I dare everyone in this room to play three rounds of spin the bottle – round one, quick kiss; round two, proper kiss with tongue; and round three, full on seven-minutes-in-heaven-style make-out sesh. No backing out, no skipping, no passing your turn. No matter how awkward, you just have to lock lips with whoever you get paired with.”
Dave felt the atmosphere in the room thicken. He could see everyone shooting looks at each other.
“Klaus!” Five said in disgust. “You do realise that most of the people in this room are siblings, right?”
“Yeah,” Luther added in a wavering voice, “that would just be…. wrong.”
“Not biological though,” Allison added.
Luther looked over at her quickly, but she was shuffling the deck of cards, determinedly not catching anyone’s eye.
“Of course, you’d say that, Chicken Hargreeves,” Klaus quipped.
Luther bristled.
Lila raised an eyebrow and looked up at Diego, “What do you think? Do you dare?”
“Oh, you’re bringing it are you, huh?” he jokingly squared up to her. “Well if you’re in Lila, then I’m in”
“Yeah, probably because you’re desperate for the bottle to pair you two up,” teased Ben. “That way, you’ve finally got an excuse to make out with her, rather than bottling up all your sexual frustration and letting it out by trying to beat her at everything,”
“Trying and failing,” Lila added with a grin.
“Shut up, Ben” Diego snapped.
“What, are you feeling called out, Number Two?” Lila joked.
“Oh, you wish.” He growled.
“Maybe I do.” She raised an eyebrow at him.
Diego looked lost for a moment, his eyebrows drawing together slightly and his eyes flicking across Lila’s face questioningly.
Klaus nudged Dave’s leg with his knee, catching his eye and inclining his head slightly towards Diego and Lila, grinning and raising an eyebrow. Dave grinned back and rolled his eyes, but inside his heart was hammering against his chest.
“Okay, we’re in” Diego said, still staring into Lila’s face. “Everyone else?”
“Fine,” Luther huffed.
“I guess so,” said Allison.
“Okay,” Sissy nodded.
“Me too,” Vanya agreed.
“Y-yeah,” Dave stuttered finally.
“You’re all immature idiots,” said Five. “There’s no way I’m taking part in this.”
“Me neither,” Ben added, “I’m out.”
“Chickens!” Klaus called.
“Funny,” Ben added, “I’d much rather be called a chicken, than be told to make out with one of my brothers or sisters.”
“Spoil sport,” Klaus waved a hand dismissively in his direction.
“Yeah, Sissy and I aren’t playing either,” Carl rested a hand heavily on Sissy’s shoulder.
“Actually,” Sissy said, shrugging his hand off. “I do want to play.” She got up and moved to a sofa nearer the others. Carl frowned, looking cross.
Allison put the cards down and headed over to the bar to retrieve an empty bottle from the recycling.
Luther ran his hand up and down his forearm nervously. Dave absently watched the movement, aware of the pulse of blood he could suddenly hear thrumming in his ears and trying to ignore the warm weight of Klaus on the sofa next to him and the single, tiny point of contact where Klaus’ knee brushed his own leg.
Allison returned and set the bottle on the floor.
“Okay, so I assume we spin twice for each round then?” She looked up at the others. At their nods, Allison twisted her fingers, setting the bottle to revolve on the floor before it slowed to point at Lila. Lila’s eyes sparkled and she looked over at Diego, raising an eyebrow.
Allison leaned forwards and spun again and this time the bottle landed on Luther.
Diego’s eyes narrowed and he swallowed quickly. Luther closed his eyes, steeling himself. When he opened them, he glanced quickly over at Diego, a question in his eyes.
“Well get on with it then, Number One,” Dave said gruffly. “No backing out, wasn’t that the idea.” But Dave could still hear the edge of hurt in his voice.
Luther pulled himself to his feet. Lila stood, opened her arms wide and jokingly said, “Come ‘ere then, loverboy”. She leaned forwards and planted a kiss on Luther’s mouth with an over-exaggerated smacking sound. She then pulled back and grimaced, wiping her mouth with the back of his hand. Luther laughed weakly and sat back down, his eyes briefly glancing over in Allison’s direction.
“Well that’s round one ‘quick kiss’ done,” Klaus said excitedly. “Next we’ve got ‘proper kiss with tongue’.”
Allison lined up the bottle again and spun. When it finally stopped, it was pointing at Sissy. Dave heard Carl let out a cross grunt from his position across the room. Allison reached forward and quickly spun it again. Dave glanced over to Vanya and saw her eyes fixed on the bottle. And perhaps he was imaging it, but with the fierce expression on Vanya’s face it almost looked as though she was willing the bottle to land on a particular person. Please, just once, her lips seemed to mouth. When the bottle stopped, it was pointing directly at her. A flash of relief seemed to pass over Vanya’s face, quickly followed by guilt.
Dave looked to see if anyone else had noticed, but nobody was looking: Diego and Lila were still staring at each other, Luther and Allison were looking anywhere but at each other and when Dave turned, Klaus’ eyes were on his own face. Dave opened his mouth to say something and Klaus’ eyes quickly flicked up from his lips to his eyes. Dave closed his mouth and turned back to the room, lost for a moment.
Across the room, Sissy had eased herself up and walked over to where Vanya was standing nervously. She reached her hand out and trailed her fingers down the side of Vanya’s face, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. Carl leaned forwards, face set, elbows on knees, his eyes glued to the girls. Vanya swallowed and licked her lips. Sissy leaned forwards and gently pressed her lips against Vanya’s. After a heartbeat, Vanya pressed forwards, her lips moving against Sissy’s and her hand going up to card slowly through Sissy’s silky hair. Sissy cupped Vanya’s cheek, her thumb gently stroking along the cheekbone. Dave saw Vanya’s lips part and a flash of tongue before the girls’ mouths slotted together again. When they finally pulled apart, they kept their heads close, foreheads touching, breathing each other’s air for a final moment. Vanya brought her hand forwards and ever so gently traced her thumb over Sissy’s bottom lip, then, as though suddenly catching herself, pulled it away suddenly, breaking the spell of the moment.
“That,” Klaus declared, “was hot.”
Vanya hummed absently in response, a strange expression of mixed longing and sadness on her face.
As Sissy moved back to her seat, Dave saw the dazed expression on her face and the slight frown around her eyes. She sat back down, avoiding Carl’s fierce glare, but Dave saw her furtive glance in Vanya’s direction.
“Well,” Allison exclaimed, “last round.”
“The last pair are really going to have to up their game to top that performance,” Klaus joked.
Dave looked over at Klaus, trying not to lose himself in the captivating twinkle of his green eyes.
Allison spun again.
Dave watched the bottle rotate, vaguely aware that the thudding of his pulse in his ears had returned. And finally, he swallowed hard when he realised the bottle had come to a rest pointing directly at him.
Allison lent over and spun the bottle again.
Time slowed for Dave, his eyes following the mesmerising twist of the bottle on the floor, vaguely aware of the sound of his friends making drumroll and crescendo noises, hearing the thud of his pulse in his ears, feeling the pounding of his heart against his ribs and, above all, the warm point of contact on his leg from Klaus’ knee. When the bottle finally slowed, the thump in his ears grew to a deafening roaring and he slowly looked up to stare into the face of his friend, who, catching his breath, suddenly looked just as wide-eyed.
“Serves you right, Klaus,” Luther teased lightly. “Setting this dare as a way to make fun of the rest of us. But it looks like you pulled the short straw.”
“Something like that,” Klaus croaked.
“Remember,” Diego cut in. “You’ve got to make this seven-minutes-in-heaven level steamy!”
Klaus ignored him and shuffled closer to Dave on the sofa.
“You sure this is okay?” He asked quietly.
Dave swallowed and nodded.
Klaus brought their bodies even closer, then glanced down nervously, suddenly overly aware of his naked chest. He was so close, Dave could see the fan of Klaus’ lashes against his cheeks, smell his slightly minty shampoo, the clean freshness of his skin and also something deeper. Something that reminded him of freshly cut grass after the rain. Even from here, Dave imagined he could taste the sweetness of Klaus’ skin. Dave leaned forward slightly and breathed in. And that was when Klaus looked up, their eyes met and the rest of the world faded away, and for the first time, Dave saw his own secret longing reflected back at him in Klaus’ eyes. Eyes that looked more nervous and hopeful that he had ever seen them. And just like that, Dave let his walls come crashing down like a house of cards and he leaned forwards until he met Klaus’ lips with his own.
Klaus’ eyes fluttered shut as he melted against Dave, mouth parting and hand coming up to rest on Dave’s neck, lost in the slow push and slide of their lips and tongues.
Dave leaned into the hand on his neck; the feeling of the fingertips on the sensitive skin setting off sparks of fire along his veins. This, he though, yes, this. He brought a hand up to bury in Klaus’ wild dark hair, feeling Klaus quietly hitch in a breath when he gently tugged. Klaus’ mouth caught Dave’s bottom lip and Dave almost groaned as he felt the soft scrape of Klaus’ teeth as he slowly traced them over the over-stimulated skin. Dave felt the smallest tweak as the corner of Klaus’ mouth twisted upwards in the tiniest ghost of a grin. Dave pulled his lips away to pepper a trail of feather light kisses along Klaus’ neck and jawline, ending just below his ear. His chest rising and falling heavily, Klaus tilted his head to give Dave more access and, encouraged, Dave tentatively took the lobe of Klaus’ ear into his mouth and sucked. Klaus’ breathing faltered and suddenly Dave could feel the sweet bite of blunt nails raking down the back of his neck. Klaus brought their lips back together and this time, Dave could feel the build and the urgency behind Klaus’ movements.
Someone cleared their throat.
The moment broke and Klaus and Dave pulled back slightly, still only inches apart. Their eyes met and the look they shared was somehow so familiar, but also so new, so foreign. Dave thought he saw joy, excitement and anticipation written on Klaus’ face, but also a hint of fear. Klaus’ shoulders heaved as he tried to steady his breathing. Quickly, his eyes flashed down to Dave’s lips and then back up again. Dave raised an eyebrow at him and Klaus replied with a small shrug of the shoulders and a sheepish, almost apologetic little half smile. It was then that Dave’s face cracked into the wide smile of sheer, unbridled happiness and a second later Klaus was grinning too, and winking at him, and taking Dave’s hand in his own and squeezing. Dave squeezed back. Then Klaus and Dave turned, hand in hand, to greet the surprised reaction of their friends and family.
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deancasheadcanons · 7 years
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I know it's only been a few hours but where is our cockles arm wrestling fic, with some witty banter and the winner gets a blowjob
“Babe, check Misha’s Twitter,” Danneel calls from the kitchen.
“I’m a little busy right now!” Jensen shouts back as he buttons a onesie over Arrow’s belly. 
“It’s really important!” Danneel argues.
Jensen rushes with Zeppelin’s diaper and onesie and then sets the twins in their cribs. They’re good sleepers, so they don’t require too much attention at bedtime. Still, Jensen sits close by while they fuss, and pulls out his phone. 
He scrolls aimlessly through Misha’s Twitter wondering what he’s supposed to be looking for when suddenly his thumb freezes right over a picture of his friend in a tight black t-shirt. Jensen immediately brings the phone closer to his face and zooms in on Misha’s chest. 
“Fuck,” he says under his breath.
His eyes nearly bug out of his head when he sees the video of Misha wrapped around a poll with his pecs popping. He just saw the guy a month ago, how could he have possibly gotten so jacked in that short of a time.
Once the twins are out cold, Jensen sneaks out of the room and finds Danneel and J.J. in the kitchen. He goes up behind Danneel and puts his hands on her hips.
“Did you know he looked like that?” he whispers in her ear.
“He told me he’s been working out a little more, but I guess he was underselling himself. Are the twins down?”
“Yeah, they’re good.” He pulls the baby monitor out of his back pocket and sets it on the counter. “I’m not gonna see him until San Diego.”
“Aw babe, I’m sorry. That’s a long time to wait before you get to squeeze those biceps.”
Jensen moves away from Danneel, leans back against the counter and watches J.J. filling in a coloring book at the kitchen table. 
“Oh my god, Jensen, we can have sex tonight if it’ll make you feel better.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m fine. I just–he just–he should’ve told me he was working out. It would’ve been nice to, you know, be prepared or whatever.”
Danneel bursts out laughing but quickly covers her mouth to keep quiet. Their house might be big, but the twins always wake up at the sound of their parents’ voices. 
“What’s funny, Mommy?” J.J. asks, turning around in her chair to look between the two of them.
“Nothing, sweetie, Daddy just made a funny joke. It’s almost time to get ready for bed, OK?”
“A month. A fucking month,” Jensen mutters under his breath.
A month later, Jensen runs into Misha in their hotel lobby in San Diego, and he definitely doesn’t ogle his button up and jacket in hopes that he’ll magically be able to see through them.
“It’s 80 degrees outside, Mish,” Jensen greets.
A slow grin spreads across Misha’s face. “Don’t worry, I have a ticket for you.”
“What?”
“For the gun show later.”
Jensen’s entire face heats up. “I’m gonna kill Danneel.”
Misha winks at him and walks away.
Later that night, much, much later, they’re all hanging out in Jared’s hotel room together. Jensen is five and a half drinks in.
“Dude, Misha, what’s going on with you?” Jared asks as Misha removes his jacket on the other side of the room. “Why are you so buff all of a sudden?”
The whole room goes kind of quiet as they look to Misha for some kind of explanation. He’s now only wearing a Family Business Beer Co. t-shirt and it’s at least two sizes too small. Even from 10 feet away, Jensen can see the way the hem of the sleeve is straining not to give up and tear against Misha’s bicep.
Misha shrugs. “I don’t know, I started lifting. Is it really that noticeable?” His eyes flicker over to Jensen then back to Jared. 
“That depends on what size t-shirt that is,” Rich cuts in.
Misha looks down at himself. “Um, I think it’s a large. Jens, what’d you send me?”
“A large,” Jensen responds, but his voice breaks as if he’s about to cry.
“Are you OK, Jensen?” Rob asks sincerely.
Rob is sitting right next to Jensen, so it’s easy to turn his head toward him and just nod.
“Are you benching?” Jared asks, and then he has the audacity to cross the room and hover over Misha, taking one arm between his hands and examining the muscle. “How much can you lift?”
“Um,” Misha says. “I don’t know. I just go to the gym and do some curls. Pull-ups and chin-ups, too. That kind of stuff.”
Jensen shifts awkwardly on the bed and tries to ignore the way his entire body just responded to Misha casually talking about doing pull-ups and chin-ups as if that’s something that everyone can easily do. The last time Jensen tried to do a pull-up he had to take a break from exercising for a week. 
“Let’s arm wrestle, dude,” Jared suggests.
“What?” Misha answers.
“Arm wrestle! Come on!” 
Jared drags a small table out from next to the mini-fridge and gets situated on one side of it. He puts his elbow on the table and holds his palm up, waiting for Misha to grab it.
Misha looks at it for a second before shrugging once again and then putting his own elbow on the table and clasping Jared’s hand.
Rich stands between them and counts them off.
Misha takes Jared down in about four seconds.
“No. This is impossible,” Jensen says as his drunk body carries him across the room and sets his own elbow on the table. “There’s no way you’re that strong.”
Misha smiles and squints at him. “If you’re so confident, then what are we wagering?”
“A blowjob,” Jensen replies on autopilot.
Rich and Rob both laugh as Jared complains about them being gross. 
Misha says, “Deal,” as he takes Jensen’s hand.
When they start, Jensen puts all of his fucking might into it and manages to keep his arm up for a solid seven seconds before he gets distracted by a vein in Misha’s bicep and a sheen on his forearm and then he’s done for. 
Before Misha can even gloat over his victory, Jensen grabs him by the hand and drags him toward the door while saying, “Bye, guys, we gotta get going.”
“You’re disgusting and shallow!” Jared yells as they leave.
In the hallway, Jensen finds an abandoned corner with a broken vending machine and pushes Misha up against a wall. He doesn’t kiss him. Instead, he stares at his arms and pushes his sleeves up as far as they’ll go. He runs his hands down the front of his shirt to feel his massive pecs, then he moves onto his hips and isn’t met with the usual squish of Misha’s love handles. It’s all sharp edges and hard lines, and Jensen can’t help but rub his crotch against Misha’s and let out a filthy groan.
“Babe,” Misha protests as Jensen tries to kiss him. 
Jensen manages to get one solid kiss on the lips in before Misha uses his bulging muscles to push him away.
“I had no idea you even liked muscles,” Misha comments.
Jensen rubs Misha’s arms and stares at them some more.
“Alright, c’mon,” Misha says, exasperated. He bends down and catches Jensen behind the knees, lifting him up around his waist like he weighs nothing and slamming him back into the opposite wall. “You still owe me a blowjob.”
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