#did i go too deep with this

[inkskinned]

you're in the habit of denying yourself things.

if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.

but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?

what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.

and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.

you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.

so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.

it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.

sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.

oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.

#warm up #this isn't good #writeblr #this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3 #but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker #and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS #the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!? #..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much. #on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt #and medical debt #i will put that first little bit of cash #into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments) #i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option #but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver #oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs

[squibo]

Look where lieutenant?

#columbo #babygirl but I’m saying it in a deep voice like them tiktok sounds #I would post on twt but im scared I’ll get annihilated if I posted it there #I did the Saul pose too but I caught that the pose I drew was wrong and am going to fix #pleaseeeee please don’t get discouraged you should also draw columbo in this pose too!! there should be like 50 different versions #his arch Is killing me 😭😭😭🗿

[kathaynesart]

Let’s just say I have a lot on my plate at the moment but I’m so grateful for all the support you guys have shown me through these past busy months. Thank you as always for your patience with my slow updates and maybe I’ll find some time to sketch something for the TMNT AU Competition later on @tmntaucompetition Hopefully some of these projects will be finally wrapped up in the next few months and I can return to Replica 100%

Also fun fact about me. Sometimes I get a little carried away with world building. Normally my friends and collaborators keep me on a tight leash, but now I’m completely unsupervised and reaping what I’ve deeply sewn. For better or for worse.

NOTE: Don't be scared, my question shouldn't have much impact on the actual story of Replica... I just like to know all the little details.

#i just wanted to tell a story about silly/sad turtles #how did it come to this? #I'm in too deep #but seriously where did all the water go in the opening of the movie? #it must have been after most of the skeletons ended up in there because it's more likely the bodies were washed out to sea #did the krang evaporate it all later to try and kill off the resistance? #ok I'll stop #replica #replica propoganda #? #tmnt au competition

[afewproblems]

Season 2 Halloween Party AU Part Two

You can read part one here!

***

Eddie can't help but steal glances at his passenger as he starts the engine while Steve buckles himself in. 

A streetlight flickers overhead bathing the front seat in strobing gold light; it's so distracting Eddie nearly misses the way Steve's hands tighten around the seatbelt, a slight tremor running through them.

The other man looks exhausted but incredibly on edge, his back straight and shoulders stiff. Eddie has to stop himself from rolling his eyes as Steve scans the dark street ahead of them. 

If he's so embarrassed to be seen with the town freak, he can just get out and walk home.

Eddie almost says as much, but shakes the words off and flicks the small Snoopy bobblehead on the dash, before reaching for the edge of the passenger seat.

He feels Steve flinch at the sudden movement as Eddie braces himself on the seat to look out the rearview window. 

Eddie tamps down the flicker of irritation that burns in his chest, he hadnt taken Harrington for a Bible thumping asshole that would believe the rumours circling Eddie, but then again, Eddie didn't really know Steve. 

Eddie backs out of the space slowly, no need to wreck the paint even more by hitting some suburban moms stationwagon after all. He shifts into drive and pulls away from the street and the flashing lights of Tina's party behind them.

Steve is quiet as they drive, and as the sound of the dull throbbing bass and party goers begins to fade into the background, Steve slowly begins to curls inwards, tugging his arms around himself.

Eddie's eyes flick between Steve and the road, he's still not looking at Eddie, just out the window with a blank expression. It's the most quiet he's ever seen King-Steve, it's unsettling.

But, the more Eddie thinks about it, that really isn't true.

King-Steve hasn't been King of anything for awhile now, Tommy Hagan has seen to that. 

Steve has been keeping to himself more and more, preferring to hang out with Wheeler and,  surprisingly, Byers of all people. 

Eddie isn't sure he'd ever be able to comfortably sit at a cafeteria table with someone who cleaned his clock, but Steve makes it look easy.

Eddie sneaks another glance and startles to find that Steve is already looking at him. He's chewing his lip, his eyebrows pinched and Eddie can't help but feel as though he's being evaluated somehow.

Great.

"Actually, you know what," Steve says after they've turned down yet another subdivision, just one street shy before the main road, "you can just drop me off up here, my house is close".

"You sure?" Eddie asks, ignoring the frustration that rises in his chest once more, "I can drive you the rest of the way, it's not like we don't all know where the King's Domaine is".

Eddie watches as Steve's expression turns stony for the barest of moments before it shutters.

"Okay". 

Eddie nods with a grimace. He isn't even sure what he wanted to happen tonight, but it wasn’t this. 

Eddie makes a left and another right before pulling into the long drive of the Harrington house.

It used to make him scoff whenever he dealt here. The huge house, the lavish furnishings and fixtures. For fucks sake, the master bath had two sinks and the closet was almost as big as his own bedroom. 

But now as the engine dies and a strange silence falls on the pair, Eddie can't help but notice just how dark the house is. 

"Your parents here?" Eddie says, craning his neck to see the upstairs windows, he doesn't even notice Steve has unclicked himself from the passenger seat until the door is open and he's halfway out of the van. 

"Woah--"

"Thanks for the ride," Steve calls over his shoulder, "see you around Munson".

Eddie barely has time to open his mouth in protest before Steve is unlocking his door and slamming it behind him, leaving Eddie in the van alone. 

He sits for a second before sighing and turning the key once more, coaxing the engine back to life. Eddie turns again, bracing his hand on the passenger seat, debating if he should head back to the party, before he spots something on the floor shining in the glow of the streetlights.

A pair of large black sunglasses, and there's no doubt who they belong to.

"Well shit," Eddie hums thoughtfully as he bends forward to grab the glasses from the floor, "guess I'll be seeing you sooner than we thought".

***

The first bell rings as Eddie closes his locker, he looks out across the sea of teenagers making their way to homeroom before the second bell and smirks. 

Eddie should also be hurrying, considering how far his locker is from his first period class, but there's something about the way the teachers glare as he saunters in late that just fuels him.

Eddie smirks as he swings his backpack over his shoulder, the metal lunchbox inside clangs against something and Eddie winces at the sound. Shit.

He moves the pack off his shoulder and unzips the top, reaching inside to grab the sunglasses from where they've become trapped beneath his lunchbox. 

They aren't broken thankfully, Eddie's sure that Harrington wouldn't appreciate his gesture nearly as much if they came back cracked or bent. 

The thought makes Eddie stop for just a moment before he opens his locker again to place the sunglasses on the top shelf. Why is he even doing this? It's not as though King-Steve would appreciate this, he probably doesn't even know the glasses are missing. 

What does Eddie care about some asshole jock? 

An image of Steve with his head in his hands, his hazel eyes wet and wide as he looks up at Eddie has him slamming his locker shut, mortified by the unbidden thought. 

It's a complete betrayal of his own God damned doctrine, and worse, Steve is straight. All Eddie is doing is hurting himself in the long run with all his pointless pining.

Especially over someone that didn't want to be seen getting into his van last night. 

Eddie leans his head onto his locker and knocks it harshly against the metal, stupid.

The second bell rings and the last of the stragglers leave him alone in the hallway. Eddie taps his fingers on the locker and pushes himself away as he makes his way to the main door, throwing his backpack over his shoulder once more. 

He needs a smoke, and definitely doesn't need Mrs. McBrayden telling him off for not handing in yet another essay today. 

Whatever, it isn't as though Eddie hasn't read Macbeth, he knows that stupid play backwards and forwards --the witches speech is absolutely full of kickass creepy language and was perfect for this one campaign he ran a few years ago. 

Eddie could tell you all the major themes and conflicts no problem, it was writing it in such a way that his teacher would believe he actually wrote it that was the issue.

The last time Eddie actually tried on one of his assignments, he had been immediately accused of plagiarizing someone else's work. 

So, why bother. 

Eddie's already got a cigarette between his lips as he pushes the door open and makes his way to his favorite picnic table by the treeline when he hears a familiar voice behind the gym.

"Tell me--"

"Tell you what?" another voice scoffs, a woman's this time.

Eddie pokes his head tentatively around the corner, spotting the man he had driven home just the night before and his girlfriend alone, clearly fighting.

"Tell me," Steve says firmly, even as his voice waivers, "you love me".

Wheeler stands there, her arms wrapped tightly around her books, "really?"

The word comes out, wrapped in a smile, like it's a joke. 

Steve doesn't move, he doesn't laugh, he doesn't make a sound. 

Nancy's mouth opens and closes as her blue eyes search Steve's face for a long time. She tries for a laugh again, but her smile cracks as Steve continues to stand there expectantly.

Eddie can't see Steve's face from where he's standing but he does hear the low curse he lets out eventually before turning abruptly, swinging a towel over his shoulder as he jogs back to the field to join the rest of the class.

Well shit.

Eddie watches Nancy as she remains rooted to the spot, her face tipped down to the gravel. She breathes out a long sigh and raises one hand to brush through her hair before it drops heavily at her side. 

Eddie can't help but feel a twinge of sympathy as he slowly turns away, shaking his head as he continues to the picnic table. 

He lights the cigarette as he takes a seat facing the school, letting the edge of the table dig into his back. He pulls a long drag from the cigarette and breathes out, watching as the smoke billows away in the cool November air.

If it wasn't officially over last night, it definitely was now. The priss and the jock were no more, and knowing Hawkins?

It would be all over the school by lunch.

Part Three up!

Tag List: @eriquin @luvinthefreaks @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @goodolefashionedloverboi @ellietheasexylibrarian @bambibiest @sadboislovebeans @howincrediblysapphicofyou @coleys-a-nerd @whycantiuseunderscore @airconditioning123

and for some peeps that I think may be interested! @strangersteddierthings @steddierthings @steddie-there @steves-strapcollection @outpastthebrakers @henderdads

#stranger things #stranger things season 2 au #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #steve and nancy breakup #what would have happened if eddie had been at tinas halloween party? #yall want a part three? #this fic is going places apparently #dont be mad at nancy #steve and nancy were too dumb kids that were affected by deep trauma and definitely did not know how to be in a relationship #eddie is having all sorts of complicated feelings about steve here #add a little bit of misunderstandings in the van as a treat #cw smoking #i will never get tired of halloween party breakup aus #you can pry them from my cold dead fingers #afewproblems writes

[mewtwo24]

Not to be That Guy but like.

Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.

Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s

Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?

Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]

#svsss #tianxi #tianlang jun #su xiyan #like this shit keeps me awake at night #i'm trying to put fic ideas together and every time i go back to that line i just #find myself trying to parse and hone out su xiyan's mannerisms/personality #zzl's descriptions help a great deal but i also love that they're limited in the sense that #1. zzl was clearly scared shitless of/disconcerted with her LMFAO #2. he was suspicious of her (as a cultivator fundamentally) and its fascinating that TLJ did not seem to share this suspicion at all #or one could argue tlj just didn't care beyond his attraction and glee being around her jkahglfdskjhsfkhjg #there is also the hilarious implication that part of what turned tlj on so much about sx is the fact that she could prbly kill him #tlj really said 'i love a woman who can and WILL kick my ass' #'none of that soft power seduction shit manhandle me or nothing' #like he always believed deep down--or at the very least wanted to believe--that she loved both him and lbh dearly #i'm not usually the fix-it fic type but the Way I Need To See Su Xiyan Destroy Huanhua Palace Master's Entire Life. #i just want sx and her boytoy to live happily ever after is that so wrong? #i also think of that person (im so sorry tumblr user i dont rmr who u are at the minute) that said there had to be trust between tlj and sx #because YES. ABSOLUTELY. I AGREE. AND I WANT IT FOR ME #don't mind me just the usual descent into madness anytime i think too hard about svsss #i need to outline damn you airplane and your refusal to expand on LBH's juicy ass backstory #ill never forgive the chinese (joke)

[driftingballoons]

They’re pretty lax when it comes to the uniform, huh?

#revolutionary girl utena #shitpost #original art #Logic is probably “we’re in the student council we do what we want” #But like #No one’s wearing the uniform #Heck Utena isn’t even wearing the boy’s uniform #where did she get that outfit? #BIG main character energy #This took too long to make tho I stg #Fallen deep into the Utena brainrot #A few episodes to go now

[fuckalicent]

i know everyone is like no no alicent wasn’t jealous of rhaenyra she always had her best interests at heart etc etc but i want to propose: alicent was jealous of rhaenyra. maddeningly so. like imagine being married to your childhood best friend’s father who has a weird valyrian fetish and can’t seem to let go of his doomed homeland which isn’t even really his homeland and then you’re suddenly being put on a pedestal with all these expectations placed on you while (as far as you are aware) your friend seems to escape all the scrutiny and despite being afforded all these options and freedom that you had a hand in convincing be given to her, she still doesn’t seem to understand nor care. i would be green with envy and i think that is alright!!!! let her be jealous! because what else did u expect from the child bride who’s been fed alternating agendas from everyone around her since the moment of her marriage??!

#hotd #alicent hightower #pro alicent hightower #understand that i am speaking from alicent’s perspective #from her pov rhaenyra’s refusal to entertain suitors even after being granted a choice in husband is unfathomable. i think on a deeper level #she feels deep feelings of betrayal too. like i did this for you why do you not care #we can go on for hours and hours if u think she’s ‘right’ or not but that’s just what i think she feels

[statementlou]

hello :) could you maybe explain a little bit how dan wootton blackmailed louis?

ugh sorry for taking a while to get to this. The problem is I feel like the only two ways to answer this are by spending a week and a half of full time labor sifting through old posts and evidence to get every detail right and lay out an airtight case, or to halfass something very serious, and so I felt a little stuck. So since I can't seem to find a good halfway point, apologies but here is the half assed version, if you want to get into it more I invite you to do your own deep dive or talk to other people, but here's how I remember things. Louis has almost never on video explicitly said things about Larry not being real and/or anything negative about fans and their theories (mostly the opposite), up until the last couple years when he obviously decided to make a major change he didn't talk about Freddie much at all let alone saying he was his kid, honestly not that much about Eleanor even; except for in two major interviews with Dan Wootton, each of which lined up with a serious traumatic Tomlinson family event that they managed to keep out of the tabloids until the very end (Jay's illness and Fizzy's struggles with substance abuse). After the fact of those events a lot of small things that didn't make sense at the time came together to look very much like Louis traded those interviews (and those answers) for having his family's private matters kept private. Story trading of this kind is a publicly known real thing that happens, and there were various clues that suggested he was being leaned on about those stories to lend legitimacy to the idea that it was something that happened in these cases. Given what we know about Dan Wootton and how he operates even before the recent flood of information and even more now, I think it's more than likely that he has been holding the threat of outing Louis (as he has done to many other public figures) over his head for over a decade, and has used his family's tragic struggles to get Louis to dance like a fucking puppet for him and I will REJOICE at his downfall when it comes whether it is now or 20 years from now... because someday it will, he has made too many enemies to stay above it forever

#I did start to try to deep dive before I realized it was too much #but I was reminded that when Louis was doing txf as a judge while fizzy was struggling #many people thought he had been pressured somehow into it; later when we knew what had been going on people were like #oh maybe he just wanted to be close to home to deal with fizzy stuff or somethng #but also: keeping fizzy stuff quiet would potentially be the info we didn't have at that time that could answer that q too of what they use #given the DW🤝simon jones🤝simon cowell cursed connections #(for the newbies: simon jones aka DWs bestie is Louis' publicist for no apparent reason even now long after he has gotten free of the rest #of the modest/syco/simon cowell shitshow) #anyway another example of story trading in our fandom is zayn's baby sister's teen pregnancy #which was known to the fandom early on but kept super quiet by respectful fans- during this time Z did some unprecedented actual interviews #for no obvious reason #and then iirc pretty much the day she turned 17 a very lowkey article reported on her marrying her bf and mentioning a pregnancy #but as if it was recent not like 7 months along #and even when she gave birth soon after it was all kind of... glossed over and around and not reported until a little later #blah blah blah #I felt like it was weird to talk about this for some reason but when I thought about it #I don't know if it matters. Like maybe talking about him not being a dad and being gay or whatever at all is bad #but assuming we're doing that anyway. why not talk about the struggles around that #and the creeps holding it over his head #dan wootton

[seyaryminamoto]

Fic-to-Art #39: Gladiator's ELEVENTH Anniversary! (+ BONUS: Fic-to-Art #36...)

And here we are! March 26th arrived and I did not forget about it, but I paid for my ambitious madness with my wrist and forearm. Somehow, I finished my intended pieces on time, but I do not advise that you ever try to make 9 artworks in 3 days. No, sir. Bad life decisions, that's what that was... but this fic, as anyone knows, moves me to do things I never thought possible, starting with writing the fic itself!

It's really crazy every time it hits me that I've been doing this for as long as I have. It's been a complicated, chaotic journey, with its many ups and downs, but ultimately, it has been our journey. For some people, this is just one more fic in the pile: for me, it's been the best adventure of my life so far. Everyone who has ever been touched by Gladiator, who has ever cherished this story, who's looking forward to the big conclusion, who wants to see how the chaotic war is going to end... you're all part of this crazy adventure along with me, and I can only thank you for joining me.

This year, I had no time to make as big a project as I usually go for. Thus, I did a sort of free-for-all edition of Fic-to-Art over at Patreon and challenged myself to draw as many scenes as I could, out of their suggestions. I even sprinkled in a few scenes I impulsively wanted to draw because I loved writing them or because I look forward to writing them... and this is the result!

In order, the scenes are as follow:

Sokka combing Azula's hair, a common occurrence throughout the story.

Azula watching over a convalescing Sokka in the Chase of Jeong Jeong arc.

The outcome of Sokka's final battle in the Superior Gladiator League, namely a moment where Sokka and Azula more or less gave away their relationship's true nature to the public by raising their hands towards each other...

And now, spoiler territory! Some were by my choice, some by Patreon requests:

An important moment shortly after Sokka and Azula reunite.

Azula confronting her father, with a LOT of backup.

Xin Long's long-awaited freedom.

The aftermath of the final battle.

The full-blown confirmation of their relationship to the general Fire Nation populace.

Sokka, Azula and Hotaru's first night together

And the big final one is ACTUALLY Fic-to-Art #36 but hahaha woops I didn't post it here on time because it was super hard to finish since I had a LOT of things going on... but here it is now! :'D it's a glimpse VERY far into the future of this fic's timeline!

Alright, that should be enough talking and explaining. Some things are vague, some things aren't, but ultimately I really hope you guys will be looking forward to the scenes you haven't seen yet, and to Gladiator's eventual outcome.

So now... with all this being said and done, I'm gonna go take a trip down memory lane and watch my Tenth Anniversary video once more! Feel free to do the same thing if you'd like to commemorate the fic, I think it's a good way to experience Gladiator all over again, hahaha.

Thank you if you read all this, and if you read all THAT: 5 million word landmark, here we come! Thanks for hanging out with me across ELEVEN years of Gladiator!

#sokkla #sokka #azula #gladiator #fic-to-art project #zuko #aang #katara #rui shi #fei li #tai wei #and a rando #yes that guy is a rando he's there to symbolize all the randos in that scene #do not look too deep into it it isn't deep at all hahahahahaha #Xin Long continues to be the bane of my existence I love him I hate drawing him #I don't know if he's good enough but I hope the emotional punch of THAT MOMENT #is enough to make up for any flaws ahahahaha welp #... also yes I'm not even sorry this was my excuse to go wild drawing as much Sokkla as I could #and my patrons were so damn nice to give me so many excuses to do just that! #how could I refuse? :'D #anyway I really hope you guys enjoy #the new pieces are glazed #nightshade killed itself when I asked it to work with them #I got annoyed and left it as it was #the last one did get both things #OKAY! DONE! #I HAVE AN HOUR AND A HALF LEFT OF ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION IN THIS TIMEZONE #Seyary out (?)

[ride-a-dromedary]

Again I know it's supposed to be a haha reference to the turns into a bear when he's too aroused thing, but in again refusing to brush just over the surface of this character: "I must be careful or I'll lose run of myself again. An Archdruid should show *some* restraint." comes across to me as more melancholy than perhaps intended when a. You take it into consideration that several lines imply that Halsin has issues with self control and self servitude, and presenting an "acceptable" version of himself as an outwards facing authority figure, to the point where he brushes over his own feelings, or pushes things that he wants down in the effort to reflect better what others want from him.

And b. Remember that Halsin was essentially just an apprentice when he was forcibly situationally promoted to Archdruid - he wasn't taught *how* to be an Archdruid or trained for it, or mentored; he was thrust into it because they didn't have any other choice. But they needed someone, so he stepped up. Halsin has spent the last century studying and learning things on the fly or through trial and error, and in a position of leadership like that, he is aware that every failure to uphold that mask *counts* and others *are* very much affected. How many times has he muttered that same mantra? Or heard it thrown around? An Archdruid not having control over their own magic is a big deal. Even when he is no longer Archdruid, he still grumbles it to himself. He's been at it over a century and he *still* doesn't feel like he's gotten it right. Even when he is in a place of progression, of trying to gain hold of himself again, those wisps of failure and self doubt still creep into everything. And that's sad to me.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #haha funny line in response to saucy line that man is about to go feral ooh se- HEY TRAUMA #it's like a med student being promoted to the head of emergency #or an admin assistant suddenly being put in a ceo role #like i know it's a meme scene!! but halsin sounds *humilated* when he accidentally wildshapes during his romance scene #he sounds flustered and embarrassed and is so quickly launching off excuses with a tone that indicates *he thinks it's over* #like he fucked up he fucked this up just when he was *starting* to come into himself again and it never stops #i keep thinking of that one lyric from big thief 'i can't find surrender/and i can't keep control' #and again i'm reading too deep into it but halsin's struggle with failure really is embedded here you just have to...like listen to him #Even when he *says* that there's little point in denying oneself #he does it literally all the time - he did it for a *century* #and i'm not saying he doesn't have fun or not enjoy things but he cuts himself off so early at the root #or buries himself so thoroughly in a self indulgence until it wrecks him and neither of these things are healthy #note that he says as long as others aren't affected - he doesn't say as long as i'm not affecting *myself* #anyway i'm unwell #maybe i was never meant to be archdruid - you weren't! you were meant to protect nature's spirit and roam with the wilds #and yet he still did the best he could and people *admire* him and followed him but he may never come to see it that way #you ruined a perfectly good wood elf - look it's got trauma and anxiety (and larian turned him into a meme and i won't forgive them)

[2impostors]

my absolute favourite FAVOURITE thing about john/alecto is that they are both each other's fucked up little science project that got Very out of hand.

they are both simultaneously victor and the creature to each other at all times. they love each other they ARE each other, they are divorced and married at the same time. they (literally) can’t live without each other and each will be the other’s end. they still love each other despite this.

#tlt #the locked tomb #john gaius #alecto #i can feel myself wanting to go off the deep end about them both when atn comes out so best prepare yourselves akjshdf #we can all agree that John Fucked Up but imo we should also be discussing what a truly weird fucked up insane thing alecto did too #she looked at this idealistic little guy struggling against the system and was like time to alter him irrevocably and inevitably doom him :)

[carlyraejepsans]

Do you have beef/opinions on finaglc? Asked bc of tags from a few days ago. It’s been years since I read that one…i remember it being A Lot but that’s about it.

you ever read some really wack papyrus characterization where you don't even need to check the author's other works cuz you just Know they write f0ntcest

#can't even explain it in words. it just reeks of it #it does Not get his low empathy autistic swag. and the flowey Character is really bad too from what I've seen #literally couldn't get past the first chapters because of how ooc it was #but everyone and their mom parades it around as THEE ut fic if all time #every day i am reminded of how most people in fandom genuinely can't distinguish between something being ''edgy'' & something being ''deep'' #anyway papyrus would hear flowey's death story and essentially go ''UH OH. SKILL ISSUE. YOU SHOULD COME TRAIN WITH UNDYNE AND I!!'' #''DID YOU TRY DODGING THEIR BULLET PATTERNS WITH YOUR SOUL? IT'S SUPER DUPER EASY LET ME SHOW YOU'' #answered asks #biscia hater moment

[cozy-the-overlord]

Seeing people complain about the Speak Now vault tracks being too teenagery …. gee, you’d almost think a teenager wrote them /s

#i feel like it’s a lose lose situation #because if they’re ‘too mature’ like on the red vault people accuse her of writing them recently #but if they’re ‘too immature’ people complain about them being not as good #i for one really like the speak now vault #it may not be as deep as red but i think it’s still really eye-opening #like the kinds of things she was thinking about but felt she couldn’t share #idk maybe it’s because i was a Small Child when speak now came out #and it was really the first album i ever became obsessed with #and as a result i idolized taylor as this beacon of perfection and grown-up-ness #like obviously I’ve long since recognized that she was still a child in a lot of ways in that era #but hearing the vault tracks really made her feel like a Real Teenager to me in a way i never had before? #like the anxiety on electric touch #the insecurity on when emma falls in love #the hopefulness tinged with self-loathing/self-criticalness on foolish one #the wattpad-tinged fantasy of i can see you #idk i feel like teenage me would have related to all that a lot in a way that i never did with her other music #idk i’m rambling #i need to go to bed #taylor swift #speak now taylor’s version

[foxgloveinspace]

People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

#very much so #tell me you where only here cause of the looks without telling me your only here cause of the looks #listen. I miss the old masks already too. that’s not the point. #you can mourn for something without that taking away your joy for it. #‘it’s all moving so fast’ iii has been turning red since July. #‘they’re evolving too fast’ or we just got here later then others. #‘I can’t even listen anymore’ sucks to be you. the music that has been put out hasn’t changed so I don’t understand this one #‘they’re gonna get cancelled over this’ ok. I guess this is just thinning out the people who were real fans and who where fake fans #I’m gonna be a sleep token fan til the end. if this is the way they want their image to go? I’ll follow. if we get heavier music next? #sounds fucking amazing to me. (I listen to heavier stuff anyway). #idk I just think it’s so so so fucking telling. that if your jumping ship cause their Live Performance Aesthetic has changed… you didn’t #mean it when you said sleep token was important to you. #like I’m 100% MOURNING the old masks. I am BMO with Finn’s old hair sobbing about the old masks. #but I know this too shall pass #this is how I fucking felt about Vessel’s mask change #and to everyone going ‘what about Vessel and the Chior!’ #1). VESSEL HAD A MASK CHANGE EARLIER THIS YEAR!!! he isn’t gonna change masks again so fast those fuckers r expensive! #2). the choir did have a change?? they wherent wearing robes at all and where in body chains they looked amazing #I get we are all neurodiverse and hate change but take a deep breath before you renounce all your sleep token love #I’m guessing Vessel will get a new mask in April again. for the kick off show. #tonight was a closing show. and he didn’t FEEL GOOD. I wouldn’t be surprised that if he was gonna do something with a new mask #if he pushed it back because he didn’t feel good. #he performed a whole show while we could TELL his throat was hurting. fuck. #I want to wrap him up in a warm hug and give him hot water with honey in it. #idk I’m rambling. it’s just telling.

[angelsdean]

and what if i started 'dean is too nice to sam' truthing ?

#well. publicly. bc i already am truthing that sdjkfjd #LISTEN. this show was really really bad at portraying actual sibling dynamics dfkdgk like half their fights would not be that deep irl #like oh you tried to kill me? ok well here's a funny picture of dog and also that's you ok lets go get food #dean as the eldest sibling should've told sam 'i'm right bc i'm the oldest do what i say' like. alllll the time #bc he's right and he's the oldest :) and sam just has to accept that he will ALWAYS be the baby even at 39 yrs old #esp dean being a parentified older sibling like. sam is simultaneously his annoying lil brother AND his pseduo-child #even if sam doesn't want to acknowledge that dean was his main most stable parental figure growing up it doesn't change the fact that #for dean that's what sam is. and so oscillating between the two roles of older brother and parent makes for a complicated dynamic #where you'll like. die for them. but also tease them mercilessly and call them a lil freak and weirdo #(but if anyone else did that you'd punch them out) #but yea. canon dean. too nice. #should've teased him more and gotten into more play fights + actual fights that end w/ them laughing + getting slushies at the gas 'n' sip #siblings siblings #vic.txt

[lunarharp]

witch scrambles

#witch hat tag #orufrey #vinanna was too cool in the recent chapter.. um.. can the manga stop making me fall for questionable yet beautiful old people #btw obviously the reason qif doesnt like to go to the hairdresser is bc he wouldnt want some stranger getting near his face. Get off me lol #i'd probably ask about whether they have a family haircutting session if sensei ever did the space event thing again and i could ask smth #when i got to ask smth directly of a senior takarazuka actor i asked something literally trivial then too instead of something cool =_= #i guess my current orufrey phase is moving from 'what if we saved a day of the week to hang out for sure as a show of our deep friendship' #to 'what if we also umm got someone to babysit for us' so that we can go to a restaurant or something. Rereading my fic helped there..