#did i establish that i am a bear in this scenario

[carriesthewind]

Good evening everyone! As I said in an answer to a previous ask, there wasn't a public call-in line to listen to the Show Cause Hearing in Mata v Avianca (the ChatGBT lawyer case) today.

However, while we are waiting for a transcript of the hearing (because there was a court reporter! yay!) and a written decision by the judge, we did get this absolutely anxiety-inducing live tweet of the hearing:

(Caveat: this thread was not an official transcript of the hearing and should not be taken as such. It is possible the actual events and statements made in the hearing differ significantly from this report - i.e., take this with a grain of salt and reserve final judgement for the actual transcript.)

I'll put the full thread with some (light) commentary below the cut.* But the overall impression I am left with is that the judge seems to feel this pair of attorneys are treating their duty of candor toward the tribunal with the same seriousness with which they are treating their duty of competence to their clients. (And in this case, that's a very bad thing.)

*The full thread except for a soon-to-follow part 2 because I ran out of space for images again.

(All of the following screenshots are from the above tweet thread by Inner City Press @ innercitypress on twitter, made on June 8, 2023.)

Normally I would overlook that "you, personally," but in this case, you really get the feeling that the judge is concerned that LoDuca might just start talking about what Schwartz did again.

Establishing LoDuca's base of knowledge - he should know how to look up cases and check if they are real; he should know what a real case looks like.

The March 1 submission was the plaintiff's opposition to the motion to dismiss, where they first cited the fake cases.

How bad this answer is depends, I think, on LoDuca's wording here. Best case scenario, his statement about Schwartz was a specific statement about what inquiry was reasonable for him to do under the circumstances (which - for that first filing - I think is actually a reasonable argument. You don't expect your colleague to just make up cases). Worst case, this reads like him trying to wiggle out of his obligations. I will withhold judgement until I see the official transcript.

Rule 11, by the way, refers to Rule 11 of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. Rule 11(b) states:

(If you remember the Order to Show Cause, we are dealing with a Rule 11(b)(2) issue here. Rule 11(c) allows the court to impose sanctions for violations of Rule 11(b))

Oh no, bad answer. (If anyone reading this is good at photoshop, I cannot express how badly I want a version of the "this sign can't stop me because I can't read" meme with the sign being the quote from defendant's reply where they say, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it.")

Oh that is not a good way of characterizing those orders. (Those were the orders, remember, where the Court said, "By April 18, 2022, Peter LoDuca, counsel of record for plaintiff, shall file an affidavit annexing copies of the following cases cited in his submission to this Court: as set forth herein. Failure to comply will result in dismissal of the action pursuant to Rule 41 (b), Fed. R. Civ. P.")

I would simply perish on the spot.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention in my original attempted summary of "Varghese" - the first paragraph states that it is a wrongful death suit by the widow of the passenger. Then the second paragraph states that the passenger was denied boarding on a flight due to overbooking and thus missed his connecting flight and therefore incurred additional expenses. The case was such nonsense that I legitimately forgot about that inconsistency by the time I got to the end.

Your honor I plead "2 stupid 2 sanction."

(I believe the "different fonts" is in reference to the April 25 affidavit, in which the case names - and some of the surrounding text - are in a different font from most of the text in the affidavit. It seems like this is because they may have been copied straight from ChatGPT. See e.g., #3 below. It's hard to tell just based on this twitter thread, though.)

A short and simple answer! You did it!

"I have all the answers I need" is not a good sentence in this context.

Very genuinely: shorter is better here. At least I don't think he hurt himself with that statement.

Judge Castel: How do you conduct legal research?

Schwartz: I research cases.

Judge Castel: Do you read them?

Schwartz: Well, I may have once upon a time, but after hearing you ask that question in this context, I have decided to retire from the practice of law forever and also possibly sink into the ground and die. Also, by answering "yes," here, I just realized that I'm either admitting that I read the cases I submitted and therefore must have known they were fake, or else I just possibly committed perjury. Oh shit oh fuck.

Oh god I'm cringing myself into a pretzel just reading this.

Hey, by the way? You can actually use google (esp. google scholar) to do legal research. (It's not a good tool and you will miss things, but it will do in a pinch.) But. Um. If you know that...why didn't you double check your cases at very least on google when you were told they seemed to be made up?

So, once again, I am going to withhold judgement until I see the actual transcript. That said, if Schwartz did say this, I would like to compare it briefly to a part of the chat transcript he provided to the court. Here is the first question asked about the Montreal Convention in the provided transcript:

"analysis"

Oh god. I can't even provide commentary on this one. I hope this is worse than the actual transcript will prove to be. I'm reading through my fingers like I'm watching a horror movie.

"Misperception" (or "misconception") doesn't work once you have evidence that should cause you to doubt - like not being able to find a case that was supposedly published in the Federal fucking Reporter.

This is overshooting "2 stupid 2 sanction" into "too stupid to function."* You either looked for "Varghese" or you didn't. If you looked for "Varghese," it is not credible that you continued to have a good faith assumption that ChatGPT couldn't lie. If you didn't look up "Varghese," you just lied to the Court under oath.

*Just to be clear: for an ordinary person, this would be a very understandable lack of knowledge issue. A lawyer has no excuse not to know this.

Judge Castel: Mr. Schwartz, I think you have the fucking audacity to try to lie to me to my face in my fucking courtroom.

Honestly at this point I'm surprised he could still talk. I think screaming, "I'm melting, I'm melting!" as he vanished into steam, leaving his crumpled suit behind, would be an appropriate response.

NO.

Oh no, oh honey.

Ok. Two options here (again, assuming he actually fucking said "They said they couldn't find them," in response to the Court asking, "When Avianca said you cited non existent cases?"):

Schwartz is once again trying to purposefully downplay what the defendant's reply brief actually said and dodge responsibility.

Schwartz honestly, truly believes that when the defendant filed a reply containing the line, "The undersigned has not been able to locate this case by caption or citation, nor any case bearing any resemblance to it," they were just asking for assistance with their legal research?!??!

I honestly don't know which is worse.

Oh no....

Oh man, I haven't gone over it here yet, but I think that "I looked up the judge" is a panicked attempt at bringing up a talking point the Professional Responsibility Lawyers raised in their memorandum of law. (Again, I'm giving this reading of his response with the caveat that it is based only on this thread, not the official transcript, which might read very differently and contain different/more info.) The Professional Responsibility attorneys noted in a footnote that two of the judges listed in the "opinion," including the "author," were actual 11th circuit judges, and the other is an actual 5th circuit judge. My read of this footnote was as an extra little detail tossed in by the Professional Responsibility attorneys to try to dress up their argument that the "opinions" had various "indicia of authenticity."

But here's the problem. If Schwartz is telling the truth - if he was reading carefully and critically enough that he bothered to look up the judge (why would you do that if you didn't think the case might be fake?!) there is no way he could have missed that the case was gibberish. Again, if this is really what he said at the hearing, he either lied in the hearing, or he must have know the "opinions" were bogus when he gave them to LoDuca to file.

"Did it cross your mind" - if the court actually said this, oh my god.

Hey, that's the point that I made in my original post(s)!

This whole thing about the "+h" to "th" with the notary date is from the recent affidavits filed on 6/6/23, you can read them about them if you want, I'll be honest, I don't really care as much about the notary stuff so I'm going to skip it for the moment.

....and I've run out of space for images again. Part II to follow shortly!

#ai bs #2 Stupid 2 Sanction

[ferris-the-wheel]

"Do you remember when we first met?"

gn!reader x Vil Schoenheit

: ̗̀➛ Scenario: You and your boyfriend reminisce about the past.

ೃ⁀➷ 💖

ೃ⁀➷ Established relationship

ೃ⁀➷ I tried my best to proofread but I'm a tad bit sleep deprived so bear with me. Ignore any blaringly obvious mistakes please :'D

TW: None

You settled further under the covers next to Vil, snuggling up against him. In his room, with all the lights off, the only light was from the TV screen. You were sitting in bed watching sappy romance movies. Though you couldn't see it, Vil smiled as you shifted closer to him. "I never thought that you'd be into romance movies." He said. You turned and laughed. Oh, how he loves the sound of your laugh. "I'm branching out, I guess." Vil simply nodded and you turned your attention back to the TV screen.

Vil, however, couldn't bring himself to do the same. To him, you were better than some fictional movie, where everything was staged. Everything you were represented the real love that he never thought he'd experience. As though it had a mind of its own, his hand moved to the top of your head and he let his fingers carefully comb through your hair. You giggled and he saw a faint blush tinge your cheeks as you leaned up against his chest, your eyes temporarily closing. He gently twirled a small strand of hair until it curled around his finger before letting it unravel and fall loose once more.

"Y/N?" He suddenly asked. You gave a hm? to show that you were listening. Vil continued. "Do you remember when we first met?" The question surprised Vil himself, as he didn't know where it had come from. Had it been some subconscious thought? Your eyes left the TV screen, the movie still playing. Snippets of the co-stars' conversation could be heard.

"I'm so tired..."

"Then come and lay your head on my chest."

"Do I remember where we first met? Of course. We met when we were both freshmen. We were in Professor Crewel's class and he partnered us up." You recalled with a thoughtful look on your face, then grinned. "I also happen to remember that you nearly failed us on that particular project."

"You'll never let me live that down, will you? The book clearly stated that the potion should have been stirred counterclockwise." Vil protested, putting on a mildly accusatory look which turned into a smile a moment later. "But yes, I remember that our potion turned out perfectly after you deliberately stirred is clockwise."

"I think at that point, I had just wanted to annoy you a little. Though I guess I achieved the opposite." You admitted. Then...

"What brought that question up?" You inquired, your eyes finally meeting his. He took a moment to take in your confused expression and he smiled softly. "I don't know. The thought just came to me." You playfully rolled your eyes and cuddled up against him once more. Vil wrapped his arm around you and gave you a little kiss on the cheek. Laying next to you, in his darkened room and movie noise in the background, he felt himself drift off.

He was woken by you gently shaking him awake. He woke to your face mere inches from his. "Oh, did I fall asleep?" He asked drowsily. He was still sitting upright, but you were no longer sitting next to him. "I was going to get us a snack to finish the movie, since it's longer than I expected. Do you want anything?" You asked. Vil shook his head.

"Okay. I'll be right back then." You said, then you hopped off the bed and left the room. Vil took the chance to get up and stretch his body after sleeping in such an awkward position. His eyes glanced to his phone, so he picked it up. He looked at the time: 12:47 am. While he didn't normally stay up so late, he knew how eager you were to spend time with him, so he had relented to watch some movies with you. He also had a few "urgent" messages and some missed phone calls from larger businesses he'd partnered with, but those could wait. Quite frankly, who called someone at such odd times anyways?

"Vil, I'm back— oh, are you busy?" He set his phone down as you entered the room, closing the door behind you. "No, it's nothing that can't wait until tomorrow. Don't worry about it." He said, waving off your concerns. You nodded and jumped onto the bed, having put the snacks on the bedside table next to you. Vil gladly joined you and you started the movie again.

He noted that you'd bought a lot of snacks. "You're going to eat all that tonight? You could upset your stomach." He asked worriedly. You shook your head. "Nope! I'll probably save most of them for tomorrow." That eased his concern and he replied, "Alright."

You both sat in silence for a few minutes. Then he felt your hand wrap around his and your fingers linked. Your face changed from light blue to a red color as the scene of the movie changed. You turned, probably to ask him a question or to make a comment about the movie, but you didn't get to say anything. He leaned in and kissed you. It was on impulse, admittedly, and he had no idea where the idea came from.

It was a short kiss as you separated a few moments later, but you laughed and wrapped your arms around Vil's neck and kissed him again. Vil caught a glimpse of the TV screen before he closed his eyes: the co-stars were kissing on a balcony, outlined by the sunset. How cliché... but I suppose it's fitting, Vil thought as he kissed you back.

Give me a moment while I <insert barfing noises> this is like the sappiest thing I've ever writting and- help, why do I kind of like it? I took a stab at writing from Vil's POV rather than the reader's, which I haven't done before. Let me know if you liked it! <3

Taglist: @edith-is-a-cat @twst-om-lover @officialdaydreamer00 @haruhar-u @lyle-my-beloved @lu-lul @xen-blank @cookiesandbiscuits @b-floyd-o-leech-b @mermaidfanficlibrary

#vil shoenheit x reader #vil twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland vil #vil x reader #vil schoenheit #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst wonderland

[commander-rahrah]

REALLY???!!! I wouldn't have sent this idea if I knew you're planning to use it for your fic! I'm sorry about that! You're welcome!

Here's my idea that I would love to hear your opinion! Just to let you know this is quite self-indulgent XD How would Astarion react to GN! Reader/Tav offering their blood... despite hating being pierced/cut/poked? Like they hate the idea of even a needle poking lightly them that it doesn't bleed 🤣

What do you think of it? I'm curious :3

Don’t apologize!!! You had no way of knowing (: I am excited to get to that part in the Talking to the Moon though, and if you read it I hope you enjoy it!

In regard to this concept, I definitely think this is interesting!! This is kinda long and ranty again ahah whoops.

Anyways, I think this concept is so interesting — especially when you consider Astarion learning about his own boundaries. I feel there is so much emphasis on reader/Tav respecting his boundaries, so him coming to terms with theirs would be so interesting.

Especially if the reader/Tav went through with the first night of letting him feed. Maybe in the moment, Astarion didn’t recognize the shakes and tremors as something negative/fear. He was just so lost in his first feeding he failed to recognize it.

So then if you offered yourself/blood up again to him? I think the shame would double for him. Maybe he would even start comparing himself to his old master — wondering how he manipulated you into this. That despite your clear fear or hatred of the sensation that you still offered yourself up for more. Like you had to. Just like he did all those years gathering more victims for Cazador by any means necessary.

If it is early days between the two of you, I think he would playfully reject your offers to avoid it. Like, “Oh I already had my fill with goblins and cultists today, darling” or “I think I’ll spare that pretty neck of yours of any further marks”. I think he would be too ashamed of himself, and also too afraid to have such a vulnerable conversation just yet.

But once you two were more established, like post confession, and you offered again, I believe Astarion would feel safe enough to bring it up/confront you about it. I feel like he would bring up that he could sense your hesitancy, fear, hatred of the sensation. That he couldn’t bear to get you to do something you didn’t want. Not again. He didn’t want to become a trauma or phantom pain for you like the unwanted/forced touches he dealt with for 200 years. Not when you had done so much for him already, and become so important to him.

If you agreed that it was too much, Astarion would respect that. Autonomy and personal choice may be a new concept to him, but it is one he would fiercely advocate for everyone, not just himself.

If you told him that you still wished to let him feed, I think he would need more reasoning as to why... And if you explained it was because you care for him, trust him, love him more than you fear or hate the sensation — I believe Astarion would agree BUT only if you set boundaries and ground rules like you had with him in regards to physical intimacy and sex.

Side note: this is kinda unrelated but also not — all I can imagine is reader accidentally pricking their fingertip on something and letting out a little gasp. And before they can freak out Astarion just sucking the tip of your finger so gently before placing the tiniest kiss on it. “There — all better.” And you would be so distracted from the sensation of his lips and his proximity and just him, that you would forget all about your fear.

Thanks for the ask anon! I appreciate these messages, it’s so fun putting Astarion and Tav/Reader in all these different scenarios hehe 🤍

#commander-rahrah answers #astarion #bg3 Astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion analysis #Astarion X reader #long post

[florallylly]

so CLEARLY the stobin big brother au brain rot had to come out some time and tbh this is going to be so scatterbrained bear with me

based off of my favorite season ... bb4 with jun song like well yes....like yeah i LOVE this season but also like. i have to think about this because i want to open up the possibility of there being a pre-established stobin relationship.

like OKAY clicking from the first day creating a final 2 alliance immediately ... i see it. initially enemies becoming begrudging allies using a final 2 alliance to keep each other loyal becoming genuine friends who honor that final 2 alliance despite knowing it wouldn't help their game. LIKE.... i am Sick to my Stomach. BUT some type of x-factor WOW.

if they go in as exes, i think i could only see them purposely bamboozling producers into thinking they would never work together when they have a shared google drive of strategies for their game or like fuckin... idk i don't strategize u tell me

OKAY BUT maybe a home town high school reunion type theme, where they make sure to include duos that would have been in the same high school at the same time blah blah. so there are two steves that could possibly have applied for big brother.

one steve was encouraged by His Boys (and carol) to try out bc he's athletic AND good at the social game. king steve is in it to win it, but as time goes on, steve harrington's bleeding heart prevents him from being as ruthless as he planned to be.

stobin seeing each other ep 1 and just the most evil glares toward each other, but actually they're nonverbally setting a meeting to discuss their alliance. they don't know it but it's their strongest, longest lasting alliance and the one they are ultimately the most loyal to. thinking jun and jee picking fights to throw people off their scent.... robin and her you suck/you rule board like. YEAH.

i think that in this scenario, steve is more jee in using his physicality to prove his worth to the team and winning comps. and robin is more jun in that she (unfortunately) is not the most liked in the house bc she has smth of a "floater" strat. WHICH not a coasting strat. a floater strat. okay. she is instigating and she is lying and she is scheming.

however also steve being jun with the kitchen strat like YEAH like yes. using cooking as an excuse to stay in the most central part of the house and eavesdrop like well yes. have a neutral reason to always be present for drama and make people not want to eliminate you bc if they do, they lose ur cooking too.

i think that like robin would win in this season, but only because steve didn't make it to the final 2. both of them knew that steve would have jury. like he just played the social game so well that even people he beat and blindsided wanted him to win. like he proved to be loyal while still pushing his game and he was on good terms with everyone in the house. steve threw the last hoh so he would be eliminated esp since he knew that robin would be the obvious winner against the other contestant

the Second steve would be a post-demogorgon or bullshit kind of checked out steve harrington who doesn't have it in him to fight for his crown. maybe he Did apply before the upside down and unlucky enough to have a life altering experience right before appearing on television. or maybe he was just throwing shit at the wall instead of applying for college thinking whatever. face card never declines.

picturing a taylor hale-esque journey where robin hears that King Steve is joining the house. and she has her preconceived opinions about him and obviously it's beneficial to her game to completely undermine a good social player before he even gets a chance to speak. so she starts turning people in the house against him but not in a paloma way me think. less intense, but still just as detrimental to steve's game.

but steve is able to make a couple solid connections in the house, and despite being put on the block, he's not eliminated. the first month in the house is pretty rocky for steve, and he's put on the block nearly Every Single Week. now he starts giving a jag performance and winning comps left and right like. power of veto every week baby and that's why he will Never Be Eliminated. people are beginning to look at steve differently now

they're like okay he's a bit of a free agent, and obviously a strong player. he could be used as a shield, he could be used as a buffer, keeping him could be beneficial to my game. robin is still iffy about him, but she sees his merit.

just like taylor, steve is one to one in convincing people to support him in his game. he appeals to them so effectively that people who were vehemently against him just boom.... appreciate. like robin is not immune to the harrington charm and she's already the worm in his brain

thinking some Big Drama involving steve though and literally daniel's tirade on taylor (which was SO undeserved and like? insane?) yeah.... and then the turn around and calling out of his previous treatment like. YEAH. that's what i want...

robin taking the longest to come around to steve, but being the most ride or die. they're like jag and matt just. ur my minute man baby.... i know i'd have a better chance against this guy but. we made a final 2 alliance and i'm not going to blindside you.

and steve would win in this case. he's just so strong with the jury and really good with comps like okay... was there a q.... robin argued her social game was more refined (it violated constitutional rights or smth)

but yes yes stobin big brother au... of course after the season they become the platonic soulmates they ARE in every universe. and like. people don't expect them to stay friends for so long after, but at some point like. okay now they're a duo. like that's bert and ernie.... acshually the old man muppets who sit in the nosebleeds and criticize the show loudly (was this only a thing in disneyland idk idk)

#platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #big brother #big brother au #reality tv au #steve walking into the house full expecting to use his body to further his game #his former coworker from scoops ahoy robin buckley walking into the house and his libido just. gone #she saw him eating ice cream straight out of the tub in the walk in while crying bc a mom yelled at him #but he also saw her pee her pants so #i'm more partial to the jun/jee route for stobin #only bc i was literally livid for taylor throughout her season #like it had me punching walls #my jaw was so tight fr fr #now you may ask why does robin ever apply for big brother and in every universe the answer is the same #actually she never expected to get accepted she just had a hypomanic episode where she thought that she would murder bb #based on Me thinking i would have killer strats and be good at the social game #me to me: u r fat and u r shy and u can't run. #except robin is charming in that clumsy bow-legged deer way

[mychemicalrachel]

hey and thanks so much for answering!! 💕 ohhh i have one more question now, not directly from the emoji ask, but based on your response to the 🦅 thingy! i myself don’t write much in terms of fanfiction, but instead i prefer textual roleplay: long story short, i find joy in telling stories in dialogue-tandem with my partner. it’s very difficult to outline those (i still try, though), and sometimes during the process i hit a point where i understand that it’s not very in-canon for the character i play to do the thing i’ve planned for them, or it’s too early in terms of character development, or certain requirements have to be met first - all because their behavior and the words they said changed the story too much. have you ever had the feeling that despite the wonderful outline you’ve written the characters just… get out of your control and do whatever they wanna do? if you have, what do you do then? bend the characters or bend the story? lots of love 💗

ALWAYS BEND THE STORY. The plot is flexible, the characters are not.

I mean... okay. Obviously, the story shapes the characters, but that's what I mean when I say the plot is flexible. I'm going to try to be articulate here, bear with me.

First of all, for me personally, I'm not particularly interested in keeping things "in character." It's the joy of fanfiction; I can take these characters I love and do whatever the fuck I want with them! I think it's helpful to remember that everybody interprets characters differently, so what might seem "out of character" to one person might seem entirely plausible to another. And I also think that when you've reached a point in your story where the characters seem out of your control, that's a good thing. It means that the characters feel real enough to make their own decisions and yeah, sometimes it messes with the plot you had planned, but if these characters are sentient enough to put themselves in a new situation, they're capable of finding a way out.

I always consider my outline more of a suggestion rather than a set of guidelines to follow step by step. I've had to scrap scenes I wanted or lines I liked because the characters took on a life of their own and what I wanted just didn't fit anymore. At the heart of any story is the characters, and that's what I try to stay true to.

When I say that the plot is flexible and the characters aren't, what I mean is that I am the god of this universe I've created. I have created this specific version of these characters and I've put them in a specific scenario, and I might have an idea of what I want to happen, but, in the end, these characters have free will. They won't always follow the plan I had, so now the world I've created for them has to adapt around them.

I used to roleplay fanfic with my best friend in high school and it's such an interesting way to do it because you can put yourself in the head of one character and just see where it goes with literally no idea what the other person is going to say or do. The way we did it at least, it was less about plot and more about establishing a personality for the characters that was unique to each story and figuring out a dynamic between them.

#your questions are always so fun #thank you so much for asking #<333

[ask-the-reaper-conspiracy]

"I know you're in there, Mama. And I know you're not sleeping, because when you're asleep you make a little whispery snore that your husband lies to you about." "Very well, keep pretending, just so long as you listen." "I'm not cross about the lying. Not really. Everyone lies outside, don't they?" "There's an abominable sort of wilful naïveté about it, I find." "They ask "how are you" when they don't want to know. They say "yes" and mean "no", and say "no" and mean "yes". They call things absolutely anything at all, save what they truly are." "They normalise falsehood." "And yet, when someone "lies" to them, they have the nerve to call it a scandal and an outrage." "You lied because you had to, Mama. To protect yourself. To protect me." "And to protect your husband, of course, because your husband is a dear sweet man, and like all dear sweet men he renders himself, by virtue of his dear sweetness, largely ineffectual." (No, I shall not call him Papa. That name is forever tainted by its previous bearer, may he rest in peace and thereby never darken our door again.) "I think that must be a part of why you consented to marry again. He never can bring himself to challenge your authority." "You became accustomed to that authority, didn't you? Once we were free of him?" "Thus, Lovett: a man who defers to you as if he, and not you, is the wife." "You are the man of the house, though you are not a man. It is a mask: a well-dressed, useful lie." "And who is Maria to be cross about a woman choosing a mask over exposure?"

"No, I can bear the lies. They were masks. Necessary." "What I cannot bear…" "…is that you never once took the masks off for me." "You could have told me everything, Mama. We could have borne the weight of it together." "We might even, upon discussion, have come to a solution. We are both so terribly clever." "Instead you put on your masks, layers upon layers of masks, and shut your Maria out." "How heavy it must have been." "I must allow that you're tired after all that. A ten-year shift… Only my Mama could do it." "I'll allow that you folded on the stand, too, even though you didn't have to. It was the first crack in the Reaper's mask. It was right." "But now we are come to this, you in a cell and Maria…outside, and no quantity of exhaustion will induce me to allow the fact that you do not stand up and fight." "Can a man with a broken neck stand up in a cage?" "When a lone woman moves a fresh corpse with a chest wound, placing necessary pressure above said wound in order to lift said corpse out of a cage, in which direction does the inevitable blood flow travel?" "How immeasurable, to a man who calls himself Law, is the benefit of being able to track a prolific criminal's dealings simply by feeding him, each month, five hundred subtly marked "scalpels"?" "Your Maria knows all of these answers, Mama. She knows them because you taught her." "The motive and scenario to which you conceded at Professor Harebrayne's trial are as flimsy as flesh before a scalpel. Why do you not cut them away?"

"I suppose it doesn't matter why. Perhaps you truly did create that spinal fracture yourself. Perhaps you truly did stab a living man through the heart. How can I know? Mama lives outside. Mama lies, even to her Maria." "Your Maria is tired too, Mama. So terribly, terribly tired." "It's to be expected. Your dear sweet husband has been weeping uselessly for two days. How am I supposed to sleep?" "Tears cannot save Mama now. Nor does Mama seem the least bit interested in saving herself." "Maria is… I am the man of the house now. And so it falls to me." "You are certainly guilty of some crime. Several crimes, in fact." "Perjury, falsifying evidence, aiding and abetting, murder as an accomplice - perhaps even murder itself, if Mr Drebber's incompetence left your hand to finish the work." "But the purpose of a defence is not merely to establish innocence where it exists. It stands also to mitigate the consequences of guilt where culpability must be agreed to be of a lesser degree." "You were being blackmailed by at least two men, if not three. One of those men sat, unchallenged and unsuspected, at the highest echelons of the British justice system. What recourse did you have to the law?" "You are not a great detective. You could not simply visit Her Majesty for tea." "And what of the consequences of failure? Unthinkable. At the outset your career was all you had to support us both. Blacklisting, which Stronghart was even then capable of engineering, could have spelled disaster for a lone mother and a young child. Thereafter…assassins." "Stronghart would have done anything, killed anyone to protect his secrets. Asogi-san, Dr Wilson, Inspector Gregson…what would he have cared if it became necessary to add you to the list? You, and all you held dear?" "How can a woman - how can anyone in such circumstances be expected to resist?"

"Palatable or not, the defence exists. It is viable. The court will listen." "And if my Mama is still tempted to hang with the men - perhaps to maintain the illusion of absolute agency, or because she doesn't know who she'll be if she can't be Doctor Sithe - then bluntly…I don't care." "You haven't the right." "You made me, and you married him. Before even to the highest court of England you are answerable to us. You haven't the right to turn your back and walk away from us just because you're afraid of the alternative." "When I cut up my Mama, I want to see evidence of arthritis and osteoporosis. I want to read the accounting of years in the bones of an old, old woman. I will settle for nothing less." "And if I have to drag you back to court for the appeal with my own two hands, if I have to learn all the extra pointless, asinine formalities that come with yet another facet of outside just to stand at the defence's bench and make your case myself, then so be it." "…I trust I've made my point." "So, will you cooperate? Or must I do everything myself?"

—————–

Video submitted by the objection.lol anon!

(I snore?) "Maria." "You've always been a handful for me. Do you know how long I've spent looking after you?" "It never occurred to me that you would start doing the same." "But you shouldn't. You shouldn't be." "You've thought of all these objections... and justifications... but Maria, even if I appeal--" (From where does this feeling of dread spring?…) "You're such a fool! Don't you see how many burdens YOU have ahead? Burdens beyond my own mistakes?" "Don't you see why I've never involved you in what I've done? You especially?" "It's not that I'm abandoning you, or Lovett. I am just---dead weight." "In the end, when everything's over, all I am is dead weight." "If you say I haven't the right to decide that... I'll do as you wish. I owe you that." "But please… don't cling to me. Not if it's to your detriment."

—————–

Check this page for credits

#maria gorey #courtney sithe #mr. sithe #reaper headcanons #post game #interactions #courtney's maria #long post #((YOOOOO this was so cool!! #I'm flattered by the amount of blog details this 'ask' incorporated ;w; #thanks for the video it was fun thinking up a reply! hope you like it #now i sleeeep #will get to more asks tomorrow!

[whatonyogaearth]

The ethics of tapping into the same school community as freelance yoga teachers

By Joanna Bertzeletos, 4 June 2022

Introduction 

Recent events have caused me to reflect upon the ethics of tapping into the same school community as existing freelance yoga teachers. In particular, imagine a scenario in which there is an established yoga teacher at a school and a new kids’ yoga company approaches the school community with a new offer of yoga. It could also be the other way around where said school approaches the new kids’ yoga company. In both scenarios neither the school nor the new kids’ yoga company have communicated or collaborated with the existing teacher of the opportunity for further work.

Obviously, we cannot dictate how a school manages itself, nor offer advice on what external providers it should work with. We also recognise that as kids’ yoga teachers we will often be tapping into the same school community as each other. This introduces the possibility of conflict and competition as well as the opportunity for collaboration and sharing with each other. We also acknowledge that nobody owns the yoga work in schools.  

So, exactly what are the ethics that are at play here? What business model should we follow? The capitalistic patriarchal competitive model of supply and demand (a model based on using resources without consideration or sensitivity)? Or do we develop and use a model that is more in line with yoga ethics (which is more concerned with respecting and valuing resources and communities)? 

Existing research into this area  

I took to searching the net to find out what other articles have been written on this topic. I found loads of articles on the ethics of using other teacher’s lesson plans, taking students away from studios, using sequences learnt on courses/workshops, copying a teacher’s style or language they use and so forth. Granted there are many parallels that can be drawn from these articles, and which can be adapted to thinking about yoga in schools but nothing really specific to this area. I did, however, find the following article - “The Ethics of Sharing Another Yoga Teacher’s Work”, by Kara-Leah Grant* - which I thought was relevant to this topic and will help us develop ethical sensitivity as yoga teachers. 

Competition vs collaboration: whose responsibility is it?  

Let’s begin by considering who is responsible for communicating that there is an upcoming teaching opportunity to the inhouse yoga teacher. Is it the school? Granted the school does bear some of the responsibility but we as yoga teachers study the principles of ahimsa, asteya and aparigraha, from the yamas of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras and as such have responsibility to do our best to uphold them. These are the principles of non-harming, non-stealing, non-greed or making sure what we do and how we do it is in harmony rather than harm, not taking what is not offered or more than we need.  

Does this then mean that the majority of responsibility lies with the new yoga company to communicate and collaborate with the established teacher so that they feel valued and on-board with sharing the work? This is potentially a sensitive area that requires tact and transparency. Therefore, how can our business models uphold yoga’s moral and ethical codes and reflect an overall policy of respect, honour, and acknowledgement? How do we demonstrate as yoga teachers that we are always contemplating along the lines of ‘right action’?  

Ethical and moral considerations 

So, exactly what should we reflect upon before accepting work from a school or approaching a school where there is an established yoga teacher? Below we will explore some questions that have been adapted from Kara-Leah Grant’s article, and then beneath the questions Kara-Leah helps us to reflect upon how our response to these questions may feel in our body and what this means.  

What is my true intention in taking on this work? 

Am I hoping that from this initial contact that the school will offer me more work? 

Am I under-cutting that teacher by offering a fee which is less or by offering free promotional work or in any other way?  

How would I feel if another teacher was to do this to me?  

Do I need to consult with the established school yoga teacher before accepting the work? 

How do I acknowledge and/or honour the established teacher?  

How do I ensure that my working in the school supports rather than undermines the established teacher? 

How do I collaborate and share with the established yoga teacher any future opportunities that arise within that school?   

Is it my responsibility as a trained yoga teacher to share my professional ethics with the school? 

What business model am I using? Is it similar to the current societal paradigm or I am using one which is following the ethics of yoga?  

Is this work really mine to take? 

“When we reflect upon these questions, listen deeply to the answers that come through – not just to the words but also to the tone and vibe of those words. 

If we catch ourselves defending, rationalising, or explaining it’s likely that our answer is coming from the conditioned mind – which suggests there may be more to look at. Truth has no need to defend itself, nor to rationalise and explain. 

This is why, with practice, we can learn to feel truth in the body, because the moment we go into defence, which is a function of the ego or conditioned mind, the body contracts or shuts down in some way. Often, it’s very subtle… but it’s always there.” Kara-Leah Grant 

Conclusion 

When we acknowledge the established yoga teacher, by communicating with the teacher about the work we wish to share in their school community, we may find that we are not taking anything away from that teacher, that the established teacher feels honoured, a mutual understanding is paved, and boundaries, including fees are shared and discussed. We may even find that the established teacher is happy to share work with the other yoga company and vice versa. Thereby offering a diverse and broad experience of yoga to that school community and children within it.  

We also will find that we are enriching that community because that small yet very thoughtful and caring gesture of giving the established teacher a heads-up means the energy is one of mutual support, respect, and honour. This vibration can be felt subtly across many different levels and this means that the good work we do across the school community will expand and grow in ways we could never imagine.   

Looking at the bigger picture, what business model we adopt and what values we choose to align ourselves with will have an impact on the possibility of yoga being used as a powerful tool for social change and if in time a more yogic framework of living can be offered as an alternative paradigm. As a yoga community and predominantly a community of women it is our obligation to uphold yoga’s moral and ethical codes by living and embodying them; by demonstrating a different way of being; by applying them through the interactions and relationships we build as we promote our business; by running our businesses with integrity, compassion, sensitivity, and care. 

I do hope this article helps other people who are on this path. 

#ethicsofschoolyoga #yogainschools #yogaethics #yogabusinessethics #yogaineducation #yogateacherethics

[bad268]

Peter Pan Fluff Alphabet

Fandom: Once Upon A Time

Requested: Yes, by @maisygd I used @snk-warriors fluff alphabet (I think that’s the right credit)

Warnings: Language

W.C. 1,567

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

~~(^Google/Entertainment Weekly)

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them? 

He likes to spar with his s/o. Anywhere from practicing sword skills to playful matches against one another to sharpen skills. I also think you guys would play music together.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them? 

He would be the guy to like your eyes. Any colour, any shape, and size-he loves them. I can see him pulling stupid pick up lines like being lost in your eyes one you’re in an established relationship.

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.? 

He would be clueless. He’s never dealt with any of the lost boys feeling upset or having panic attacks, so he freaks out as well. When he gets his bearings, he’s by your side. Holding you or rambling to you, whichever you're more comfortable with. Once you’ve calmed down, cuddles for days. This man is not letting you go for a while. Also, he’s going to find out what causes your mood and if he can help it, he’ll avoid the scenario.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? 

Obviously, you’re still on Neverland. He rules the place, so he’d picture you taking on some authority and running it alongside him. He might think of marriage, but nothing on Neverland is really “legal,” so you guys can just say you’re married eventually.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? 

In some situations, he’s extremely dominant and possessive. Specifically around the lost boys, pirates, basically anyone. However, whenever you two are alone, he lets you take the lead. Man needs a break every once and a while.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? 

He probably doesn’t fight much unless it’s a pirate or something consigning your safety. I think he’s a hothead, so it would escalate quickly. However, it wouldn’t last long just because you’re his weakness.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He’s not one to say it out loud, but you take care of the stuff he doesn’t want to in regards to the lost boys. He also knows everything you do on the island because 1) he knows everything that happens on Neverland and 2) the lost boys always talk about how much you help them. (Y/N) helped me learn this. (Y/N) helped me learn that. (Y/N) wrapped my injury. (Y/N) showed me how to do this. etc.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? 

Peter is naturally a secretive person! I feel like it would take time, but eventually, his s/o would break down his walls and they would share everything. From random thoughts to new games to chores that some lost boy didn’t do.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems? 

I am willing to bet that Peter’s s/o would convince him not to take Henry’s heart. His s/o has a lot of power over his decisions and they know it. Peter would probably let his s/o control some of his actions like punishments for the lost boys, and he would probably listen to their plans to defeat Hook.

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it? 

Of course, he does! Not only are you on an isolated island surrounded by a bunch of hormonal teenagers, but Peter is also a possessive little shit. If any of the lost boys even look at you in a way he feels threatened by, Peter will make them do chores to keep them as far away from you as possible.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? 

He'd be awkward during your first kiss. He would play it off all confident and cocky because he’s the leader of Neverland. However, behind closed doors, he is clueless. He is not experienced with intimacy, so you guys learn together. After some time, and a lot of practice, he is an amazing kisser.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o? 

He is not one to confess. His s/o probably showed up and was like “Hmm, I like your face!” Most likely, he was in denial or something because he is so used to running the island with newbies saying the same thing. He thought his s/o was lying until they’ve been in Neverland for months, constantly telling him stupid pick-up lines. Then, AND ONLY THEN, does he confess.

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like? 

Neverland is a place without real rules, so marriage is not exactly needed to say that you two have been together for x years and want to spend the rest of your lives together. If you wanted to get married, he would set something up for a wedding to be as legal as it can be on Neverland. He would either propose elaborately in front of all of the lost boys during a fire or lazily after a cuddle session in his treehouse; there is no in between. 

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o? 

He’s basic. In the presence of other lost boys, he will call you babe, his lost person (idfk), shortened versions of your name, or names that tease you. In private, he’d be mushy and call you his love, baby, sweetheart, and other affectionate names.

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? 

He plays it off around newcomers and the pirates. However, all of the lost boys that have been on the island for more than a few months know how smitten he was with you. He is usually hard on the boys when they mess something up, but whenever you’re around, he doesn’t want to scare you, so he doesn’t punish them as harshly. 

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Depends on who’s around. He has no problem with talking about you and bragging in front of the Lost Boys, but if the “heroes” or pirates show up, he shows no intimate connections to you. Also, he has no problem kissing you with the Lost Boys around especially during the campfire.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship. 

The fact that he hears and knows everything that goes on in Neverland comes in handy whenever something happens to you or you need him. He is able to be by your side in a second in the event that you are hurt, have a question for him, or if you need to warn him. This also works when someone else says something about you and he can punish them without your knowledge; no one will speak badly about the leaders of Neverland.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He is both cliche and creative. He doesn’t have much experience with being in a relationship, so he pulls some cliche moves by accident. However, since he has magic, he uses that to be a little creative. As for how romantic he is, Peter is inexperienced, so he is learning, but he tries to show you he loves you through small actions. 

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them? 

Anytime you need him, he’s there. Anything you need, he’s got you. He believes in anything you believe, and he is there to help you every step of the way. Want to get better at archery? He’s here to help you. Want to practice climbing trees? He’s at the base in case you fall. Want to learn to sword fight? He already got the swords to teach you.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Oh, hell yeah. He’s not one to stick to a routine, so he’s always changing things up. Even if they don’t work, you guys can say you tried it. If they do work out, you just got another activity to do! You guys are on an island with no rules (and in a relationship with the leader, no less), so you don’t want to be too predictable.

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic? 

He has a feeling when you are upset. It’s not the fact that he knows everything that goes on in Neverland; he just knows. Could be the fact that you guys have been together for x long, you’re the only one who sees past his walls, or that he’s actually an empath. No one will ever know. Once he knows you’re upset, he is teleporting to you, pronto. Nothing is more important than you.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Your relationship is the most important thing to him. He may put out a cocky bitchy exterior, but in the end, you are the only one who knows his weaknesses. If it came down to his magic or you, he’d save you in a heartbeat. He would not even think about it. His only thoughts would be that you are in trouble and you are his number 1 priority.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Peter’s love language is quality time and you cannot tell me otherwise. He runs an entire island practically by himself, fights against pirates trying to kill him, all while trying to find the heart of the truest believer. He is responsible for so much that just spending time with his s/o calms him down tremendously. He likes spending time with you whether it is sitting by the fire playing music, walking down the beach, or practicing archery skills. 

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

In privacy. He is a private person with a lot of enemies, so he won’t show his feelings in the open. However, once it is just the two of you, he is the most affectionate person ever. You cannot get him off you when you are alone. He just wants to chill out after running a group of rambunctious boys all day, and what better way to relax than to cuddle your s/o?

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He knows everything that happens on Neverland, so he’s never really missing you. He literally can hear you talking, so it’s almost like he is still with you. If he is really missing your presence, he’ll just teleport to you. It’s not hard for him. 

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’d kill for you, no doubt about that. If one of the lost boys got handsy, oops, they fell into the ocean and got killed by the mermaids. Pirate says shit about you; Peter accidentally hit him with Dreamshade and caused him to fall off a cliff. He uses his powers to hear everything the boys say about you, and if he doesn't like it, they disappear.

~~~~~

© BAD268 2022. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

#OUAT peter pan x reader #peter pan x reader #once upon a time #peter x reader #peter pan #ouat peter #ouat peter pan #bad268 #ship268 #thing268

[softxsuki]

Hello there! Hope you're having a splendid day! If you feel like it, could you do headcanons or scenario, which ever you feel like, on Bakugou and an clingy s/o. Clingy s/o in the way that they like to aggressively cuddle, back hug and bear hug only. They don't like it when they have an arm around them or have a hand on their thigh (which is what I usually see in bakugou headcanons) because they're a go big or go home type of person. So basically the reader is like "we gotta be this weird tangle of human limbs or we are not touching at all" . Bonus points if the reader likes doing it in public and will not let go until bakugou accepts

Bakugou with an Overly Clingy S/O

Pairing: Bakugou x Gn!Reader

Warnings: like one mild cuss word (?)

Genre: Fluff, Established Relationship AU

Post-Type: Headcanon

Word Count: 700

Summary: In which Bakugou struggles with his s/o who is overly clingy (low-key ain’t mad at it though because he loves you uwu.

[A/N: Hello <3. I’m sorry it took so long for me to get to your request. Thank you so much for requesting it though, hopefully I did it justice lol. I chose headcanons because I’m just feeling lazy and horribly sleep deprived, but I hope this came out alright!]

Bakugou:

When I tell you he hates it at first--he absolutely hates it

It takes him a long time to get used to the fact that you’re a human sized koala and that’s just how it’s going to be

You’d show up at his place and instantly lunge at him, but he tries to dodge you, causing you to pout in disappointment

This makes him sigh heavily, he hates seeing you sad, it’s just that he enjoys his personal space sometimes, but he’ll hurriedly grab you into a bear hug

“Just for a few minutes alright?” he mumbles into your hair as his face turns a deep shade of crimson to match his eyes

Other times you’d be hanging out with him in the living room and he’d place his arm around you, trying to keep you in place as you practically try to crawl into his lap

“The movie would be way better if we watch it like this,” you say from his lap as you grab his hands and wrap them around your waist, leaning back into his chest

“Y/N, I can’t see a damn thing with you like this,” he’d grumbles, yet he finds his arms tightening around your waist, adjusting you a bit into a more comfortable position

“See, it’s not too bad right Suki,” you tease, rubbing your hands up and down his arms for comfort

“Shut up and watch the movie or I’ll throw you off my lap,” he grumbles, but you know he’s all talk and he’d never let go of you until you were ready to move away from him

Being out in public with you is probably Bakugou’s worst nightmare

He knows it’s coming--your pleading eyes as you stand behind him begging for a piggy-back ride

He tries to get away with just holding your hand, but you get upset and end up walking a-ways away in front of him with your arms crossed across your chest

“C’mon, don’t be like that,” he’d say, trying to catch up to you as you’re now avoiding him like the plague

He grabs your arm to stop you in place and the crowd surrounding you both continues to move past you

“Am I embarrassing or something?” you ask him slowly, looking down at your feet

“You ain’t embarrassing, I’m just not used to being so touchy in public. I love you, and I love holding you, but mostly when it’s just you and me”

“I love you too,” you beam, jumping into his arms, now happy that he said he loves you without being encouraged to say it

He hugs you back briefly before once again trying to peel your arms from around his neck

“Alright, you can let go now”

“Nope, not until you give me that piggy-back ride,” you smile cheekily

This goes on for a while, until he finally gives in

You unwind your arms from around his neck and he turns around and bends slightly with his arms positioned to catch you, so you can climb onto his back.

“Get on already”

You don’t have to be told twice as you jump eagerly onto his back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders

He jumps a bit to position you better and continues to walk in the direction you were both headed in

“Thank you honey,” you whisper into his ear, leaning in to leave a burning kiss onto his cheek

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re just lucky I’m in love with you. You won’t catch me doing this for anyone else,” he huffs, as his ears burn bright red

You smile in delight and cuddle your face into his neck for the rest of the walk

Truth be told, he really doesn’t mind the close contact, in fact he loves feeling the warmth of your skin against his own

He adores your bright smile as you practically weave your limbs through his own, content with your happiness in being as physically close to him as possible

But he has a reputation to uphold, so don’t expect him to ever give in to your touchiness so easily, especially in public

In private, though, he’d soon start initiating your long cuddles and extreme physical contact--he’s learning to love it too ;)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 9/22/2021

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #mha #bnha #bakugou #bakugo #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #mha headcanons #mha imagines #mha scenarios #mha drabbles #mha oneshot #mha reactions #BNHA Headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha drabble #bnha oneshots #bnha reactions #bakugou headcanons #bakugou imagine #bakugou scenarios #bakugou drabble #bakugou oneshot #bakugo headcanons

[h3l10tr0p3]

MANGA CH. 284 SPOILERS

OF REDEMPTIONS AND ATONEMENTS:

We all been knew, man. We all knew this was coming.

And godDAMN does it fucking HURT. (oh the sweet sweet angstfest this whole chapter is, just *chef's kiss*)

But i legit cannot put into words how deep the choice to 'Atone' cuts on my bleeding bkdk heart. Let's first take a step back and see how Katsuki went from DvK2 to here- that one keystone moment that has given us this beautiful chapter: And I meant ALLLL the way back to Chap. 252

I have already written a whole-ass post based on this panel, which you can check Here.

TL;DR Katsuki was actually paying real close attention to Endeavour in this part. He came to Endeavour to learn exactly what he was missing as a Hero, but he learnt so much more.

This scene in particular left a momentous impact on Kacchan. Here, Natsuo is resistant to the idea of forgiving his father for all his sins just because he is more involved in their lives now. And Endeavour had been dreaming for a while about a Home where he is not present with the rest of the Todoroki's which ultimately gave him the idea of buying a house for the others to live in apart from him. This is HUGE. This is what actually drove Endeavour's Redemption home- the perfect understanding and the perfect compensation, the two elements of a brilliant Redemption Arc. NOT THE FORGIVENESS, just as Enji says it. It is NEVER ABOUT THE FORGIVENESS.

Endeavour understood that it was his presence that caused his family distress, and although he dearly wanted to be a part of his family again, was even making efforts towards it by being cordial and accepting of Shouto's friends, inviting them to a family dinner, etc. etc. Endeavour realized the only way he can compensate/atone was to give up something that would cause him suffering, and them happiness. The idea that your family doesnt want you, when you just started to show some effort and HOPE that they might see you in different light, maybe forgive you and then to just terminate those ties entirely, punting yourself into a void where NO ONE CAN COME IN AND SAVE YOU FROM YOUR SUFFERING, is exactly what Endeavour did. He is actively shutting down the ONE window through which his family could see that he was suffering, and miserable, and wanted to be a part of the family again. Endeavour CHOSE to not be forgiven. To writhe with the knowledge of his sins day in and day out with only the shrine of Dabi Touya to haunt him every waking minute.

I cannot explain just how much determination it takes to do that, man. It's just- WOW.

Excuse me for ranting on Endeavour in a bkdk post, but I swear this has a point. And All Might says this the best:

This is the fanlation, the official release (which I couldnt get my hands on) also mentions that "When I meant you were like Endeavour, I meant the Change"

This here is an important bit that AM has caught onto.

In the 252 panel, where Endeavour says 'It's not like I want forgiveness' (Because Endeavour understands he cannot be, should not be, forgiven) "I just want to make up for everything I have done" (and to back this up, Endeavour shuts down the one communication link that could have offered him forgiveness, and thus salvation from the weight of his sins and his guilt)

Katsuki understood Endeavour's idea of redemption very well here, although he might not be shown with that light-bulb moment. He may have already known this wayyy before Endeavour said anything, but those words lent a solidity and to the path he must persue to acheive redemption: And it's Not forgiveness.

Let me tell you why I think Atonement is the greater factor here, even greater than Redemption itself. Redemption has an end-point: Forgiveness. But Atonement doesn't. Atonement has no expiry date. Atonement is purely propelled by the understanding of self, and the weight of guilt the self bears, whereas a Redemption is All About The Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is an external force, it may or may not be given to you and that is completely up to the person who has been wronged. Atonement is self-imposed, it is a meditation of the soul to forgive itself against the guilt it carries.

If Redemption is a marathon with a banner at the finish line, Atonement is trying to drag a twenty pounds of rocks through the Sahara desert without water, food or a compass- it's endless, hopeless.

And this is why Atonement is greater than Redemption.

And do you think someone as stubborn as Kastuki will ever find himself atoned of his deeds? No. And That, my friends, is The Point. In 252, when Endeavour says, "I dont want forgiveness" it's not just him saying it- it's also Katsuki. "I just want to make it upto you", is also Katsuki.

And to prove it, Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness. A verbal apology will be nice, sure. Especially since dumb-ass, gay-ass, 'Kacchan-sugoi' ass Izuku Doesn't even See it as Atonement. He is just #Blessed that Kacchan and he can talk almost-naturally again. And that is also Katsuki's intention- because the moment Izuku knows, he won't be able to atone this way anymore.

So, as much as I HATE to say this, the chances of a voluntary verbal apology are slim. If allowed to go on like this, Kacchan with continue to shadow Izuku through his life, worrying about him, LOSING SLEEP OVER HIM :

LOOK AT THOSE BAGS UNDER HIS EYES. /*shoves panels in yo face*/LOOK

Can you believe this bitch-ass gremlin who goes to sleep at 8:30 got bags just from stressing over his Deku??????

LOOK AT HIM DOING A HECCIN' MAJOR KOKORO-STOPPING CONCERN.

(He is flipping his shit because he worries, and he worries so much, and has worried for him for a long LONG time.)

- Katsuki will continue on this path of being Izuku's support.

Forever if it takes.

Forever, he hopes, it takes-

Because the only way he will stop is in death, either his own or Deku's.

This is his Atonement: To undo everything he once did, to support Izuku's dream instead of squashing it; To help him get stronger instead of perpetuating the narrative on his weakness; To protect him from all harm, when he once hurt; To be on his side when the whole world is against him, because once he was all, but, for him; To save Izuku as he wins, to win as he saves.

And, To deny each oppurtunity of forgiveness even as he desperately longs to be unburdened of his guilt.

Because Katsuki knows:

He knows Izuku is that one of a million, he is kind and humble and considerate and loving to a fault.

Katsuki knows that Izuku will forgive him in a heartbeat. That is just the kind of selfless, beautiful person he is.

Unlike Endeavour, who had no guarantee to forgiveness, Katsuki does. And that is what makes Katsuki's Atonement more powerful than Endeavour's. He recognizes it is in his grasp, just an arm's length away...

....Just an arm's length.

And Katsuki will deny himself that. Because he does not believe he deserves it. He hasn't atoned enough for it.

"Keep At Arm's Length"

He says. Because this is the critical distance between them. Not "Stay an arm's length away", because Katsuki doesn't wanna run away from Deku, and he doesn't want to be too far away to protect him, nor does he want to get too close to finally recieve the forgiveness that will give him salvation.

This is the fine balancing act Katsuki must maintain indefintely till he believes he has acheived his idea of atonement. (And when has he ever been happy just the bare minimum?)

I know I said Katsuki will never ask for forgiveness, and a voluntary verbal apology is very unlikely, because in it's very nature, it is inviting a forgiveness from Izuku, which we have established, Katsuki wants to avoid. And if this were any other manga, we would have been doomed to this conclusion. But, there is a scenario when Katsuki might issue a verbal apology and that is when Katsuki knows there isn't enough time to be forgiven in turn, or, hasn't atoned enough and can no longer continue to.

Like when Katsuki launches off, to deliver a final kamikaze blow to a villain, and he has only enough time to tell Deku a short "I am sorry", but not enough time to wait for a reply. Or when Deku is dying and at his final moments, when Katsuki knows however much he has atoned isn't enough and isn't how Deku should leave, without closure.

Whatever the future may hold, my dear readers, Katsuki still has a long, long way to go. And I hope to see him live through everything, to be there -

To survive these wars with Deku, To fight alongside him, To protect him. To win. To save.

To Live.

To hear Deku say "I had forgiven you a long time ago";

and ofcourse,

To forgive himself.

#bakudeku #katsudeku #katsuki x izuku #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugou #midoriya izuku #deku midoriya #bnha midoriya #deku #kacchan #endeavour #allmight #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #mha spoilers #bnha 284

[bokutosworld]

seasons change, our love remains the same | miya o. 

pairing: timeskip osamu x f!reader  word count, genre: 1.8k words, established relationship, fluff.  warning: none summary: a story of how osamu’s love for you began and how it will never end. a/n: this is a piece for the haikyuu-cafe x hqhangout collab! 

It was springtime when words of love flowed out of him. 

“What are you looking at?” 

Osamu peers over your shoulder to get a glimpse of the yearbook in your hand. His eyes land on a younger version of himself who was barely smiling at the camera. He grimaces internally, shaking his head at the memory of the day when the picture was taken.

Sitting down on the floor, he slings his arms around you and brings you closer. “Where did you get this?” 

“Unlike you, I actually kept our yearbook. It’s a nice memento of the past,” you laugh, turning the page and going further down the memory lane. You reach a section containing different pictures—montages of photographs from the sports day, the cultural festival, and, the one that caught your eye, the graduation ceremony. 

“Hey, do you remember this?” Osamu follows where you were pointing at. There, at the middle, was a blurred image of some Class-1 students, his and your class, under a cherry blossom tree. Though the colors were muted, he could vividly remember that moment when the pink petals were dancing around in the air, everyone dreamily looking up at the bloom, but all he could focus on was you standing by his side as the teacher captured the photograph. 

He remembers how his heart was beating so crazily at that instant. And what followed then was the moment that he’d been preparing for. 

“Of course, I do. What do you take me for?” His arms encircle around your waist, he kisses the top of your head. “That’s when I confessed to you.” 

You chuckle, “Wrong. You haven’t confessed to me here yet.” 

“Oh, right,” he rests his chin on your shoulder, looking straight in your eyes. He narrates the past to you, “After we took that picture, I asked if you could come with me at the back of the gym.” 

You hum and he continues, “You awkwardly followed behind as we walked together. Then when we arrived, I brought out a single carnation flower. You stared at it with wide eyes for minutes and I was so scared that I would get rejected right there and then.” 

“Well, that’s because you weren’t saying anything! How was I supposed to know you were confessing when you were just standing there with a flower?” 

“I’m pretty sure I said I love you,” he teases. “You just didn’t hear it.” 

You put down the book on the table and turn to the side so you could face him. “You’re lucky I’ve been in love with you since middle school.” 

He chuckles, bringing one hand to cup your cheek and the other to brush away some hair on your face. “I really am lucky.” And before you knew it, soft lips touch yours and it makes you feel warm and tingly. “Being with you is like a dream that I don’t ever want to wake up from.” 

Summer when you found yourself running to him for comfort. 

The front door to Onigiri Miya chimes, alerting Osamu of a new customer. He looks up momentarily from his task of rolling sushi to greet the person who’s come in, only to be surprised to see it was you. 

“Hi.” You smile weakly and take the usual spot at the counter, right at the front where you could watch him cook.

“What are you doing here? I thought I’d see you at the apartment.” 

“I’m tired. And it was so hot, I couldn’t take another minute of commute,” you groan as you drop your head on the table. “The trains were jam-packed and I didn’t want to be sandwiched between people and feel their sweat on skin.” You imagine the scenario if you didn’t walk your way towards his shop tonight, and the thought had you shuddering in your seat. 

“Anyway, I went here and thought we could go home together.” You peek at him from behind your arms. “Also I just really, really wanted to see you already.” 

Osamu instantly softens. At the moment, he wanted nothing more than to close shop, take you home, and lie on the bed with you in his arms. All the time in the relationship, he felt like he’s been the one who’s constantly relying on you. But right now, you were running to him and he wanted to be there to catch you. 

“There’s only few customers left but I think can finish this in twenty minutes.” He slides over a glass of iced tea to you. “Can you wait for me?” 

You nod and he leans to give you a quick kiss before returning to his work. You watch in awe as he skillfully moves around his area, hands deftly making the customers’ orders. And not before long, he’s standing beside you, already changed out of his work uniform to his usual beige polo shirt (the one you gifted him and his obvious favorite). He holds out a paper bag with his shop’s logo. You take it with a curious look. 

“It’s not gonna bite you,” he jokes and it makes you roll eyes. “I figured you haven’t eaten dinner yet so I made yaki-onigiri. You can eat it at home.” You’re silent as he takes your hands and guides the two of you out of the store, waving to his employees and reminding them to close. 

“You remembered my favorite food.” 

He squeezes your hand and brings it to his lips, “Of course, I remember everything about you.” It’s his beautiful smile that makes you weak at the knees and instantly chases your exhaustion away. 

In autumn, he made a promise. 

“Hold my hand so we don’t get separated.” Osamu insists after having lost you for the fifth time in a row. The two of you were in Kyoto for a long overdue out-of-town vacation. After some time, you were both fortunate to finally free up your busy schedule and Osamu had planned a five days and four nights trip to the region. 

“I’m not a kid, Osamu,” you whine but still lace your fingers with his and move deeper into the park. Osamu lets you take the lead as you stroll along the path in Arashiyama Bamboo Forest, the one place you’ve always wanted to visit. 

The moment you stood at the entrance of the grove, you were struck at the beautiful, soaring green stalks that seemed to welcome you to another world. Osamu could feel the excitement radiating from you and whenever you smiled, whenever you turned to him to gush about the scenery, he finds himself falling in love with you all over again. He’s smiling as he watches you take photo after photo, unaware that he’s also taken his phone out to capture a picture of you. 

As you’re standing in the midst of the crowd, looking like you’re having the best time and so beautiful with the way the faint light from above falls on you like a spotlight, Osamu has a fleeting wish that he could be the one to make you happy for the rest of your life. 

You suddenly stop admiring the view in favor of searching for your boyfriend who seemed to have stopped moving for minutes. The two of you stare at each other, neither one making the move to walk closer. Osamu tilts his head to one side as he mouths at you, “Hi.”

Confused, you mimic him. “Hey.” 

It takes him five big steps to close the distance. He grabs your face, thumbs grazing at your cheeks as he stares affectionately. Time slows down but your heart races when he says, “Let’s get married.” 

You thought you heard wrong. But that was until he brought out a box that’s been hiding at his coat pocket. You gasp audibly, tears pooling in your eyes, as he takes the ring out and holds it in front of you. 

“I love you more than life itself. I want to stay by your side and keep you happy for as long as you’ll let me.”

You’re crying as you say yes and his vision is also blurry when he slips the jewelry on your finger, a symbol of his commitment and love for you. 

And in winter, the two of you were home. 

It’s well past morning. The clock reads 9:58 am but somehow you could not find it in you to get up from the bed. You move your body but it proved futile when you felt a pair of arms tightening around you, refusing to let you go. 

You feel hot breaths fanning your neck, craning to look back at the person sleeping behind you. Reaching a hand to stroke his hair, you feel Osamu only nuzzle closer and seeking warmth from your body. 

“Good morning,” he hums. 

You turn around, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing a kiss on his lips. “It’s always a good morning waking up next to you.” 

He chuckles, the low voice sending goosebumps on your skin and causing the blood to rush on your face. He takes you by surprise by suddenly flipping you over, trapping you in a bear hug while you laid above him. 

“Wait, Osamu, let go!” Your voice muffled on his chest. 

“I don’t want to.” He loses himself in your sweet scent and he feels slowly being lulled back to sleep. “It’s cold. Let’s stay here longer.” 

Your struggle did not last for long, eventually giving in to your husband’s grip and you lay peacefully, hearing the calm beating of his heart. A glance to the windows and you can see the trees covered in thick white, making you excited as you realized the snow has made its fall overnight. 

You look up at him, “We should get breakfast.” 

“You mean brunch.” 

Giggling, you begin to sit up which only makes Osamu groan and reach out for you. “Come on, I’ll make your favorite hot chocolate and we can look outside at the snow.” 

At the mention of hot chocolate, he slightly peeks his head from the blankets, catching you before you exit the door. “With marshmallows?” 

“Of course.” You tease, knowing how much he loved his hot drink with those soft, pillowy white confections. 

This makes him smile and finally, he gets out of the bed and makes his way to you. He slips hands into yours before walking with you out of the room. 

Mornings with Osamu were the best. And as much as you looked forward to spending every day with him, he is also anticipating what’s in store for the rest of his years with you. 

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #osamu x reader #osamu imagines #haikyuucafe #haikyuucreations #osamu fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu fics #osamu x y/n #osamu x you #haikyuu x you #miya osamu x reader #hq osamu #miya osamu #haikyuu!!

[smuggsy]

Remember this post about how Riddler dug up Elijah's body and we just... collectively chose to ignore it along with Oswald? 😂

Well. I un-ignored it. With a sad angsty fic.

(You can read it down here as well.) Word count: 2040. Tags: #emotional comfort #established relationship #hence: canon divergence #nightmares

Oswald's used to having nightmares. He's no stranger to sleepless nights, 5-am coffees have become a bit of a recurrent habit to make up for the drowsiness clouding his mind after a particularly difficult dream chimes in without permission and throws his sleeping schedule off — so much that he often finds himself power-napping through the day when Ed isn't around to tell him off for it.

Yes, he's almost grown too accustomed to Hugo Strange's voice narrating all sorts of gruesome scenarios that he ends up carrying out of his own volition, propelled forward by an unknown and invisible force deep inside. He never really sees the Doctor, but he hears him all the time, he's just there all the time. He tells Oswald what to do and Oswald does it without a pinch of remorse. Shoot him. Stab her. Blow them all to pieces, they deserve it.

It's the kind of hell he's used to. He's almost learnt to accept it's never going away. That it's a part of his psyche now, a part of him that will never really go away — because how do you fix a tattered mind? He wouldn't let anyone try, anyway. Not after Arkham.

This night is different. This night he's assaulted by a new kind of terror, almost perfectly calibrated and specially curated for him. Blossoming from the deepest part of his mind where he'd stocked it, never to be revisited.

And it's most cruel for one reason: when he wakes up with a startle he can't bear the thought of those arms wrapping around him and providing comfort like they've done so many times before. In fact, the first thing he does when he opens his eyes is untangle himself from Ed's sleeping embrace like it burns him.

Which means he's got no-one but himself to count on, again. No-one to hush him through the aftermath and speak softly in his ear and hum a long-dead melody until he calms down or, if he's lucky, falls back asleep.

"Oswald?"

He sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over to catch his breath, and feels Ed shifting position behind him. His partner's voice is clouded with sleep and Oswald can't bring himself to even turn around and reassure him — lie to him. He fears if he turns around he won't see Ed but Riddler. Not Ed's gentle eyes but Riddler's mocking glare. Not a warm comforting smile but a disdainful sneer.

His father, standing on the other side of the bed with a disappointed frown. My boy, how could you steep so low? Do you know where I am? Do you know where he left me?

When Ed's warm fingers brush over his right shoulder Oswald bolts upright with a whine.

"Osw—?"

And he runs to the bathroom and slams the door close behind him, feeling his one-piece nightgown sticking to his chest with sweat.

"Oswald, what's wrong?" Edward's voice is immediately on the other side, he tries turning the doorknob but Oswald is pinning it closed with his own weight, still unable to brush away the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal that's so suddenly taken hold of him, "Oswald, get off the door."

It's a gentle request.

Oswald might have done it, perhaps, might have considered it, if he hadn't looked right into the mirror hanging on the opposite wall and seen Elijah's pale and sickness-stricken face. A dead man's face that makes him shiver.

He shall never have peace, so long as you're with him, Oswald thinks. Some other Oswald. Some other voice that sounds like his but isn't. Can't be.

"Oswald," Ed tries again, and this time he pushes against the door with more conviction, Oswald leans off and turns around to face him when he comes in, to keep him away, Riddler, he's still in there, he's— "oh dear," Ed coos, having one look at him and taking pity instantly. He takes a step forward and Oswald takes a step back.

"No!" he blurts out with a raspy voice. Edward stops dead in his tracks, lost expression for a moment before his shoulders relax again.

"It's okay, Oswald. It was just a nightmare," he adds, softly like so many times before.

"No, it isn't! It wasn't!" Oswald lashes out, hating that he looks at Ed's dishevelled face and concerned caramel eyes and wants him to just get away, his voice comes out just barely, "you did that to him! You— How could you?!"

Ed opens his mouth and doesn't move, clearly taken aback by the accusation even if he fails to comprehend, thrown off by the way Oswald looks at him, stands like that, like a wounded animal, like he might flee if Edward takes another step forward.

He still takes a step forward, though, because he never was really good with physical cues.

"Os, I don't understand wha—"

"Don't touch me!"

Oswald jerks away and hits the wall behind, still shivering despite his burning skin. Edward shows him his palms, a gesture of surrender.

"Okay. Okay, I'm not," he takes a steadying breath in, "I'm staying right here."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's not him, I swear! I didn't—"

"Oswald?"

"He's different now! He's not like that anymore!"

Oswald gestures towards Ed, clever, supportive, thoughtful, with his checked blue pyjamas and plaid shirt and lack of glasses and puffy eyes from sleep. Then he looks back at his father now standing by the door and projects the thought: Ed. Not Riddler!

But Elijah shakes his head and purses his lips, looking him up and down like he doesn't approve and Oswald just needs him to understand.

"It's not hiiiiim!"

"Oswald, this is starting to become very unsettling."

Edward looks around, to his right, there. To where Oswald's looking, to nothing. He knows that deranged gaze, he's seen it countless times before, he's stood in front of the mirror a lot of times and seen it on himself.

"Os, it's just those new painkillers making you groggy, okay? It's a much heavier dose than the one you're used to. Whatever you're seeing," Edward chances a slow step forward and Oswald finally turns his head back to him, with glassy eyes and tears on his eyelashes and still looking like he'll run away, "it's not there, Oswald. I am here."

Oswald stares at him for a few more silent moments with a lost expression, mouth open and still bracing himself with one hand on the cold tiles behind and the other on the sink.

"You're not... you're not him, I try to— I tell him you're not," he babbles, looking feverish and lost.

That's when the penny drops for Edward. It feels like a stab to the heart, that broken voice, the trembling hands, the quivering lips, the whole sight of an Oswald so distressed he won't even let him get close enough to soothe him.

"No," Ed says softly, his own voice failing him for a moment, shaking his head and taking yet another step closer, "no," he repeats breathless, "I'm not. Please. Come here."

He reaches an offering hand and Oswald slowly looks down as if weighing his options. As if making sure this isn't a trick — which, well. If he's thinking of Riddler, he can hardly be blamed for exercising caution, Ed admits. It hurts him to admit it. To know he's caused this, one way or another. Painkillers or not. This raw incoherent fear is coming from somewhere, however small the flame that ignited it might be, and he can't fix it because Oswald won't stop trembling like a leaf and recoiling.

"Oswald, please," he begs, voice finally breaking and eloquence escaping him, retrieving his outstretched hand and rubbing fingers over his burning eyelids because if he breaks down too... "please, it's me, Ed, just Ed."

He doesn't know what to do. He's on the verge of blurting out apologies when he opens his eyes to Oswald latching onto him with one of those desperate hugs. Ed wraps his arms around him instantly, a reflex, feeling like he's just come back to life.

"Go away," Oswald says, sobs with his face buried in the crook of his neck and starts crying. Edward tightens his hold and hides his own tears in the other man's raven locks, understands he's not the one being spoken to, "go, please. I won't leave him!"

Edward can barely understand the string of pleas when Oswald's clutching onto him so firmly his words come out muffled and nearly intelligible. Either way, he's not about to ask who's there — better not add salt to the wound. Not feed the horror, lest it become a recurrent thing. He needs him to understand this is a figment of his imagination if he's not aware already.

"Shhhh, it's all good," he keeps Oswald in place with an arm around his waist and brings the other one to gently pet his hair, "it's o-kay, Oswald. I'm here, it's just you and me."

Oswald nods against his chest but he can't seem to bring himself to stop crying. Edward rubs circles on his back.

"Just you and me," he repeats, striving for a soothing voice and feeling it waver ever so slightly.

They stay like that for a whole five minutes until Oswald finally leans back, sniffs and looks up with red eyes and a self-deprecating comment on his lips that Ed doesn't let him voice out.

"Come on, it's freezing out here."

Ed guides him back under the covers and tucks him in, Oswald watches his every move like an overcurious child. That cloudy expression is gone, though, and Ed can't help but let out a sigh of relief at having him back. He looks drained but sober.

Mostly sober.

His eyes still dart around with a nervous air but he doesn't seem to find his demon anywhere. When Ed climbs back up on the bed Oswald immediately shifts closer and hides his face in his shirt again.

"I'm sorry, that—"

"No-uh-uh," Ed cuts in, brushing a strand of hair off his green doe eyes and feeling an almost compulsive need to plant a kiss on the now-red tip of his nose, "say no more."

Oswald purses his lips and shuffles even closer, pressing his flush body so firmly against Ed's that they can't exactly see each other's faces anymore.

"Can you...?"

"Yes I can."

And that's that. He settles his chin on top of Oswald's head and starts humming; content to sidestep the issue just for now but unable to brush aside the sour taste of guilt filling almost every corner of his mind.

He starts rubbing circles on Oswald's back and doesn't stop the melody until he feels the other man's hold loosen up and his breath change into a normal and peaceful pace. Only then does Edward slowly extract himself from the embrace, far enough that he can look at Oswald's face.

Red and wet and troubled, still. He reaches over and soothes the lines on his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Os," he breathes out.

He's used to Oswald having nightmares. He wakes up all heaving breaths and uncertain hands latching onto anything that's near for comfort, for safety or reassurance. Ed is always there to provide either one, wrap his arms around his shaking form and listen to him if he wants to talk. Make him a cup of tea or play soft tunes on the piano if sleep doesn't return.

Oswald's always been needy like that.

Having him wake up and frantically keep himself away, recoil from his touch and excuse himself to a third party only he can see... that's a first.

And it's terrifying.

Because He made that happen. Because Oswald's grown to be too dependant and Ed's grown to be his anchor in moments like these and if he can't even be that... then what can he be? What's left for him to be, besides the clear instigator?

Ed closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, focusing on the sound of Oswald's breathing and on the touch of his cold feet and the smell of cherry-scented hair conditioner. He relishes in the familiarity of the hold and shakes the darker thoughts away.

Perhaps he's become a bit dependant himself.

#so uh.... i might write some more of this #bc i left it kinda unresolved #maybe make ed suffer a little more? idk you guys be the judges #yay or nay? #nygmobblepot #nygmobblepot fanfiction #nygmobblepot fanfic #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #ed nygma #edward nygma #the riddler #riddlebird #my writing #gotham #gotham fox #gotham tv #elijah van dahl #gotham s3e12 #gotham 3x12

[pointnumbersixteen]

How do you see The Captain's coming out, and growth in confidence and self acceptance thereafter taking place?

I like this question! …and I’m probably going to elaborate on it a bit more than many people will want to read (I noticed back when I was regularly writing essay length posts that they did not get a lot of love) and it’s probably going to get even more ramble-y than usual (brain has not been braining as cooperatively as it should recently and the decision to drink half a bottle of wine right before answering this- sorry- probably does not help), but here we are.  

 About coming out scenarios, none of mine are particularly elaborate. While I do think he needs to come out for his story line to progress, I can’t imagine him making a big thing out of it (long or elaborate announcements, heart-to-hearts, emotional displays of bearing his authentic self or any of the like), either with the group, or person-by-person, for several reasons:

First off, that sort of a coming-out to-do is a more modern notion, and I doubt he was a particularly modern person even when he was alive, seventy-five years ago. His notions of privacy and propriety are probably much more conservative than ours, and I feel like that makes it unlikely that he’d go into any sort of detail, at least at early in this process, about his feelings/emotions or the specificities of his attractions. We’re talking about a man who doesn’t even use his own name. It’s difficult to picture him going into depth about his desires and love life.

Secondly, he’s a bit of a social coward. (He’s not a physical coward, of course, he jumped on that bomb in the garden without hesitation, and acknowledged after the fact that he gotten caught up in the moment, and therefore hadn’t really thought about how a bomb couldn’t hurt him.) And I get it, I’m a bit of a social coward, too, so no judgement. He probably faced a lot of ridicule in his life. Being a social coward is totally fair. But he doesn’t put himself into situations that might involve awkward interpersonal interactions if he can help it, and legs it whenever interactions he’s already in become to awkward for him. I feel like he’s probably quite desperate (although he’d never admit to it) to save face and protect what bits of his ego remain unscathed.

Think about it: he could have spoken to Fanny on his own about her nightly screaming disturbing him in s1e1, they have a clear association established at the outset of the show, they leave Heather’s room together at the end of the very first scene, but he doesn’t do so until he has the weight of the whole group to back him up about the screaming at their meeting. He had to buck up his courage and give himself his little ‘over the top we go’ pep talk before going to speak to Alison in Gorilla War. Also, if there was actually something wrong with his soldiers’ horseplay after hours in Reddy Weddy- if it was breaking regulations or even his own orders for quiet hours- and he heard it, he could have gone down directly when he heard it, confronted whoever was involved and order them to stop or put them on report. But no, instead he addressed the entire group of soldiers in a sixteen point morning brief. He even dispatched Pat to confront Alison about the party in s2e2, instead doing it himself… and spit out his apology/reconciliation with Pat at the end as fast as possible. And as for legging it when things get awkward, see his retreats following the group confronting him in Getting Out and after Alison telling him he wasn’t needed in the Grey Lady- and on a more figurative than literal level, but most relevantly, his quick turn from ‘I’ll miss you’ to ‘we’ll miss you’ with Havers in Reddy Weddy.

This is not a man who wants to be in awkward or embarrassing situations. And I think that coming out, at least at first, will probably be a bit embarrassing for him- it was scandalous in his time, and I think it will take him longer to get over that feeling and come to terms with himself than it will to finally acknowledge that he’s gay. So I doubt he’d make more of it than he utterly feels he has to, at least at first. And of course, he’d have to be a bit afraid that people would judge him or stop associating with him over it, as sadly, in his own time many people would have done, and most of the ghosts are from even earlier times than he was. So that might add more hesitation…

And thirdly, he doesn’t like and/or respect many of his house mates. The other twentieth century ghosts are the only ones he spends much time with. I doubt he’d go out of his way to communicate much of anything to the rest if it wasn’t “mission related” much less discuss his sexuality with them. He mostly disregards Humphrey. See his, “Oh, it’s you.” Mary obviously doesn’t like him and he only associates with her when it might be useful for his ‘missions.’ He clearly doesn’t think much of Thomas and doesn’t really even bother including him in his plans. These aren’t people he’s going to have heart-to-hearts with.

With those constraints in place, here’s a non-exhaustive list of possibilities by which I might see his coming out finally happening. They’re really just scenarios I made for myself on how I might see him coming out and I like to keep my options open (the first three are strategies he might go for, the last is an alternate scenario, presented in decreasing levels of directness on his part):

1) The ‘pull the bandage off quickly and hope it doesn’t sting too much’ strategy.

The Captain waits for the end of one of their various group activities or meetings, where all announcements seem to be made, gets up, clears his throat, stammers a bit, announces it tersely, using the most proper popular word for homosexuality that existed in his time (think: “Heh-hem. Er. Um. Well. It has recently come to my attention that I am- er- well- as it happens- gay. I, uh, thought it should be noted. That is all.”), and then beats a hasty retreat, so he doesn’t have to try to cope with the potentially negative aftermath. Of course, there isn’t a negative aftermath, because many of the ghosts already have guessed and the rest don’t really care. Someone, probably Pat, because he does the bulk of the emotional labor in the group, and more importantly, he’s Cap’s closest friend, would have to go after him. He would of course be initially defensive, and Pat would have to sooth his feathers a bit- or maybe just spit it out over his defensiveness- that he guessed a long time ago and so had plenty of other people, and they were just waiting for him to be ready, and really, it’s fine, and no one’s going to disown him for it.  

2) The ‘well maybe I should tell my friends with the hope they support me’ strategy.

He gets together with a small group, the people whose company he actually values, definitely Fanny and Pat, maybe Julian, probably Alison either at the same time or after he finishes with his ghosts pals, and says it in much the same way as the previous scenario, but waiting for their reactions rather than retreating straight away. Pat and Alison, I expect, would answer with something like ‘yeah, we figured that one out a long time ago, actually, and it’s completely fine’ and Julian’s reaction would probably be something like, ‘well, obviously.’ Fanny’s had a lot of character growth since season one, when I expect her reaction would have been very shrill and judgmental, probably still would be a touch less warm and/or nonchalant, but I picture it as something like a sigh, followed by a pat on the arm and something like, ‘well, I still like you better than everyone else here, anyway.’ Word would eventually trickle to everyone else by way of social osmosis. Or not. No one seems to care if Humphrey or the plague ghosts are well informed.  

3) The ‘I’m not brave enough to actually go through the process of actually telling anyone anything about me so let’s just drop hints and hope everyone figures it out without making a big deal about it’ strategy.  

The indirect approach (I’m rather fond of this one, but mostly because it was my own primary coming out approach)… he first sends out feelers to certain people on the topic of homosexuality, probably Alison, since she’s modern, hosted a lesbian wedding, and very much implied that she’d be ready to keep scandalous secrets for him in Reddy Weddy, and  possibly maybe also Julian, as he’s the most sexually experienced/knowledgeable, and after Alison spent a while inundating him with ‘it’s okay to be gay’ messages (along with a sudden and entirely unexplained influx of LGBT media) as she’s socially clever enough to see that’s what he’s looking for and after Julian spent a while telling him probably far more than he ever actually wanted to know about the potentialities of gay sex, that might boost the Captain’s confidence enough to let him start dropping hints to people, instead of telling them outright (consciously commenting on the attractiveness of men they see rather than occasionally accidentally blurting it out- see ‘the handsome one’- occasionally putting forth an opinion or stance on the LGBT world ‘it would have been nice if gay marriage was acceptable when I was alive,’ maybe occasionally mentioning how certain men would make cute couple), expecting them to meet him in the middle and figure out the point on their own… of course, many of them have already realized, so this isn’t a problem. It’s entirely possible, though, that Mary (world view not terribly grounded in reality) and Kitty (lack of life experience and/or instruction about life, see the how are babies made subplot) never pick up the hints on their own and someone else eventually has to tell them.

4) The ‘someone puts him out of his misery’ scenario.

Cap acknowledges to himself that he’s gay first and then, wishing to avoid embarrassment or lack of acceptance, obviously, awkwardly, painfully tries to disguise it and in doing so draws attention to it, until a third party decides to put him out of his misery and tell him that many of them figured it out ages ago and that everyone is fine with it. Maybe Pat. Maybe Alison. I kind of like the idea of it being Fanny (with her lovely character growth and her couple of suspicious glances his way in the Perfect Day), actually, by way of something like ‘You know, I was entirely prepared to continue on living with my husband, George, keeping his secrets, about the, uh, sort of person he was, and you’re at least one better than him, given that you at least never murdered me- or, for that matter, never married some poor woman you had no interest in to shield yourself from scrutiny… and so, what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t turn my back on you for being the, uh, sort of person you are, either, and maybe things have progressed enough that you don’t actually have to keep secrets at all.’ Cap would take all of this in with a mixture of mortification and relief. I’m rather fond of this scenario, too.  

 As for the second bit of the question, once his sexuality is out there, though, and no one judges him or hates him for it- and some are quite supportive- I do see him becoming more self-accepting. If no one’s judging him, does he need to judge himself so harshly? And also more confident. Because some of those things that he’s always felt different about and in the past has probably been ridiculed about in the past (even if he’s in denial about being gay, he and quite a few other people had to at the very least note that he’s not particularly interested in women), are, apparently just fine now. So he’s a bit more just fine now himself. And that weight of always trying to be someone else, someone who’s just right, can lift and he can relax a bit more. And that would probably help him a lot, too. I see it as a slow sort of thawing process. No matter what way he comes out, I still see Alison as very helpfully providing a variety of LGBT media to help this process along. And maybe he’d eventually get to the point where he processed enough and warmed up enough to be able to talk more in depth, at least with his friends, about what it was like being him in repressed pre-war Britain, and what sort of men he’s attracted to (I enjoy the idea of him and Fanny- gradually overcoming her own repression- scoping out hot men together). Maybe he’ll even luck out one of his male housemates will decide (or has already decided) that bisexuality is a valid option and he’ll get a date (insert whichever ghost y’all ship him with here). I bet Alison would totally help him set up a nice date, too, with her convenient still-functional-in-the-mortal-realm hands. And it would be nice to maybe see him get a taste of actual happiness.    

#bbc ghosts #the captain #coming out #sorry for the giant block of text friends #i find it difficult to help myself

[wyn-n-tonic]

Golden, Like Daylight -- Part III

Word Count: 1,810 Warnings: Mentions of drug use. PTSD. Guns. Ben Affleck. As always, if I missed anything, please send me a message and I'll amend this warning ASAP. A/N: As you can tell, I'm a slut for dialogue.

MASTERLIST | PART: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX

gif by: @santigogarcia.

“Francisco,” she’s swaying back and forth with a sleeping Luna in her arms and he can hear the pleading in her voice, “please don’t do this.”

He waited until the absolute last second to tell her but she knew as soon as she got his text—

Pope’s here. I’m gonna bring him by tomorrow to meet Luna, okay?

“Baby,” he catches her hip and pulls her into him, “it’s just a couple of days, consulting work. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“No,” she’s shaking her head, tears threatening to spill over, “you promised me. You looked me in the eye and you said, Leah, I’m done with this shit. Why are you going?”

He licks his lips and looks to Santi in the hallway, pretending to be lost in his phone. He knows he’s not.

“I’ll call you when we get to Colombia. I’ll call you every night and again when I’m on the plane home. Te prometo, ay?”

“Stop making promises,” she pulls away from him, hand on his chest to steady her shaking body, “we’ve established you don’t keep them.”

His hands find her shoulders and squeeze, “Baby, it’s almost twenty grand. We can pay off the car or,” he stammers, “your student loans. We can breathe.”

Frankie sees the words trying to formulate in front of him, the cogs of her mind turning behind her eyes. He’s bracing himself for what’s next but all she does is pull away, the only acknowledgement of the fact that she can’t stop him.

She turns on her heel and he watches her walk out the room, stopping as Santi picks up where Frankie left off.

“Stop being so harsh on him, he needs this. Your family needs this.”

Frankie takes in a breath as Leah’s free hand collides with Santi’s cheek and before he can even react, she’s rounding on him again.

“Don't you dare tell me what my family needs, Santiago Garcia. I love you because he loves you but you are nothing but trouble.”

She can feel Frankie coming up behind her, shifting the air again because he’s nothing but nerves but Santi’s too hot to notice.

“He'll be fine, Leah, you worry too goddamn much,” he wants to shout, that’s evident in his demeanor. "He’s a big boy, if he didn’t want to go, he’d tell me.”

“Baby,” Frankie’s hand wraps around her elbow, trying to gently coax her into his arms. He wants to lead her back to the bedroom. Hold her. Convince her.

“No,” she pulls away, eyes still hard on Pope, “the best case scenario is that he comes home alive, Santiago. But he’s not fine. And who’s here picking up the pieces? It’s not you.”

“Leah, I swear. It's just a consultation,” his jaw sets with the lie he fed the rest of them, like his body is finally rebelling to the bullshit but he continues on, “your husband will come home.”

Frankie’s still got one hand wrapped around her elbow, another on her back. Her anger is a hurricane, he can feel it churning deep inside as her voice comes out lower, “He better or—“

“Or what?” Santiago's face splits into a shit eating grin, “you'll try to kill me again? How is your sister by the way?”

“I won’t kill you, Santi, but I will put a bullet through the bad knee and I’ll make sure William gets me the good shit. The kind that shreds through tendon and bone like a blender.”

Nodding, Santi sucks the air through his teeth, “You can try but I honestly think you’re too chicken shi—“

“¡Basta!” Enough!

Frankie’s pulling on Leah again, the hand that was resting on the small of her back making its way to Luna now. Luna, who up until her father’s raised voice—the voice he never wanted her to know—was sleeping perfectly against her mother. Completely, blissfully unaware of the firefight happening around her.

“Pope,” his voice is shaking, “you need to go.”

“Fine,” he pulls his phone back up to his face. “I’ll pick you up for the airport tomorrow.”

“No,” he feels the hope emanating from Leah as he watches Santi’s face fall, “if I come, I’ll meet you there but this isn’t a conversation you’re involved in anymore.”

“Wha—what the fuck does that mean? I started the conversation.”

Leah pads back into the bedroom, heart aching, with Luna in her arms. Frankie watches as she closes the door and rounds on Santiago, slamming his back into the wall behind him with enough force to shake the house and when he speaks again, it’s measured and even. This is the calmest he has been in weeks.

It’s not a threat.

“If you ever speak to my wife like that again, she’s not the one you have to worry about putting a bullet into your body.”

It’s a promise. —————

Fish is most talented pilot I know—

He swings his assault rifle back, opting for the Glock 19 at his side, Santi’s words ringing through his ears.

—and he’s grounded on a bullshit coke rap.

His boots fall heavy through the mansion, he doesn’t give a shit about stealth. Threw every care in the world out the door the moment Tom started digging for more. What they had was more than enough but he could never just have enough. Had to push for more. Every fucking time.

Another lap. Another sweep. Another round.

But he never missed a hard out, Benny was right about that.

Bullshit coke rap. Every misstep Frankie made, every struggle he faced, was just a bullshit mark on a hardened warrior. That’s all they ever saw him as, Tom and Santi. All remorse drained from his soul in the name of God and country.

Frankie squeezes the trigger, eyes lighting up in the muzzle flash. If he was going to take their lives, he was going to see it drain from their faces.

If he was inflicting this horror on his mind again, making Leah puzzle his shit back together again, he was going to earn it.

The gun hangs heavy in his hand as he steps over the bound and gagged body, following the sound of the rain.

"Fish, where are you?” Tom’s voice scratches at the edge of his skull. His nickname is a stark reminder that there is a separation between man and monster and he can find it again.

He’s shaking as he reaches for the button on his collar, “I'm exiting back out to the courtyard.”

She was right, telling him to stop making promises. He said no live fire and he couldn’t even keep that to himself. —————

“Is he right?” She’s quiet as Frankie lifts their daughter from her aching arms, “Is this what you need?”

“Yeah,” it comes out quiet, leveling up to the bouncing he’s now taken over to keep the baby asleep, “I think it is.”

“Why?” It’s not accusatory, she genuinely wants to know.

“I—“ he stops to think, he doesn’t want his words to come out selfish but he knows that’s how they’ll land. “Baby, I know I brought all of this down on myself and I know that I’ve survived it once before but…”

He trails off, his large hand is splayed across Luna’s back to support her as he resettles her in his arms. A small sound of contentedness escapes her and he can’t believe he’s missed this for the last six weeks. Spent months on end higher than any fucking plane he flew just because he was afraid of failing her. He chokes on the lump building in his throat because he already has.

“But what, baby?”

“I fucked up,” he takes a deep breath to steady himself, “this has been the hardest year of my life, the last six weeks especially.”

Bad landing.

She takes a breath, a tiny spark in her eyes but he’s already in front of her, “Mi alma, let me finish. Please.”

She nods, agreeing to his appeal.

"Before, the only thing I had to lose was my license. Now, the license was just the tip of the pyramid. This shit could’ve cost me my life. In more ways than one. I know what they cut the drugs with now and my nightmares are no longer about what I did in the service, Leah. Will and Benny hold me down screaming in the middle of the night as I imagine I’ve left this shit out for you or Luna to find.”

He laughs at the love and concern in her eyes, not feeling he deserves it but he forges on anyway, “I snorted our finances into desolation. We can’t live on a teacher’s salary alone, baby, you know that. How far behind is the car payment?”

“Just a month now,” she whispers, “my sisters helped us catch up.”

“And you hate that! You’re too prideful to ask for help, too full of protection for me. This will set us back on the right track.”

She’s standing now, arms crossed to anchor her own sobs from escaping, “Frankie, we can survive until your drug test—“

“No,” he’s shaking his head, “it’s still another six weeks away.”

“You don’t have to do this, baby, I know you don’t want to.”

"I cannot let you struggle like this,” he’s shifting Luna again, her tiny fists balled into his shirt and he is devastated with his love for her, “I am supposed to provide for and protect this family. It was in my vows and I broke those.”

“For richer or poorer was also in the fucking vows, Francisco.”

He swallows hard, reaching out and pulling her into him. He can’t bear to see her face when he speaks again, his voice low with the confidence of a settled mind.

“I am going to Colombia." —————

He feels the stone falling from beneath him as he loses the mule to the mountainside, last in line of the five.

He should’ve done more. Held on tighter, walked faster. But as Santiago saw an animal and Tom saw money, he could only see himself falling over.

He lost count of the days he hadn’t called. Two? Three? Hadn’t heard her voice or the baby’s babbling as she responds to daddy. He saw himself at the bottom of that mountain. Never enunciating each syllable of Pa-pa for his little girl ever again, convincing himself that he would be her first word. Never pulling Leah into his arms, the scent of coconut and vanilla so profoundly intoxicating that all he could think about was sinking deep into her. All the comfort and clarity the world had to offer found in her arms and between her legs.

She insisted on the nicest sheets they could find and instead of falling into them, he only felt jagged rock at his back.

TAGLIST: @justanotherblonde23 | @greeneyedblondie44 | @icanbeyourjedi | @notcookiebelle | @princess76179​ | @bbuckysbeardd​ | @knivesareout​

#i believe in francisco morales supremacy #frankie morales #francisco 'catfish' morales #francisco morales #triple frontier #fanfic #fanfiction #oc #ofc #original character #original female character #santiago 'pope' garcia #santiago garcia #waiting patiently for santi lovers to murder me tbh #okay but frankie was actually baby #okayloveyoubye #pedro pascal

[ac-liveblogs]

Morgan le Fey’s Condensed Timeline

I drove myself up the wall working this out this morning, but this is how I assume Morgan could have possibly raised 6 children while Altria only lived to age 35. Please let me know if you see anything wrong, I’m doing my best!

@drunk-on-starlight​

To keep things simple, I will be referring to Morgan's three personalities as such:

Morgause, the human aspect. She is the Queen of Orkey, wife of Lot, and mother of Gawain, Agravain, Gaheris and Gareth.

Vivian, the fairy aspect. She is the Lady of the Lake and the adoptive mother of Lancelot.

Morgan le Fey, the witch aspect, personification of Britain. The villain of the Arthurian myth that plots Altria's downfall. Mother of Mordred.

When I am interchangeably referring to all 3, it will just be plain old "Morgan".

Before we start, I am going to make two unconfirmed/educated guesses that will be important in my understanding of the timeline: 

One, the reason Morgan is the full-blooded daughter of Uther and Igraine but had to be considered the daughter of Gorlois, Duke of Cornwall, is that Uther and Igraine were having an affair while Igraine was still married to Gorlois, and this is how they covered it up.

Two, per the Vulgate Cycle, Vivian raised Lancelot in her Fairy Realm, where time passes slower than the human realm. In this realm, about 18 years for Lancelot was equivalent to 3 years in the human realm. (If you’re familiar with Fire Emblem: Fates, it’s a Deeprealm/Babyrealm scenario where Vivian is likely just sticking her head in every now and then and letting him get on with it). 

I assume Nasu used this origin story because in Lancelot Saber’s final ascension art, he is already a somewhat aged man even though Altria, in the BG, is still wielding Caliburn and is therefore not King Arthur yet and also because it’s sheer insanity if it’s not the case. (This is also how Galahad could possibly be born and raised to his late teens in the established timeframe). 

Morgan is born as “Morgause”, the Duke of Cornwall’s daughter. She is the bastard daughter of Igraine and Uther, and despite being a legitimate heir once Uther takes the throne and marries Igraine she had to be passed off as Gorlois’ daughter to cover up the affair so she remains illegitimate. She is probably around ~10-14 ( at or close to child-bearing age) when Uther marries Igraine.

Uther marries Morgause off to Lot, King of Orkney, VERY quickly. This allows Morgause and Igraine to be pregnant with Gawain and Altria at similar times - therefore, Altria, Gawain and likely also Agravain are very close in age.

At some point, Morgan-as-Vivian finds Lancelot as a child and raises him to adulthood in her Fairy Realm, where time passes quickly. I assume this was quite soon after her marriage to Lot, as Lancelot is depicted as being quite a bit older than Altria. Vivian probably did this simultaneously with Morgause having and raising her other children, but as Lancelot reached adulthood after a few years, Vivian wouldn’t need to spend as much time with him and could spend most of her time in Orkney. 

Altria drew Caliburn at 15, gained enough power and influence to fight Vortigern over the course of 10 years, became King Arthur at 25, and ruled for another 10. This allows for a 20 year period between Caliburn being drawn and Arthur’s death for some of the other Knights, like Gareth and Galahad, to be born and grow naturally to their teens.

After Gawain, Agravain, Gaheris and Gareth are born, Morgan goes into seclusion and no one hears much from her. After Altria becomes King, Morgan le Fay rapes Altria and creates Mordred, a homunculus. Mordred grows very quickly and is old enough to join the Round Table before Gareth gets there. Morgause is therefore not really raising the children she had with Lot, and probably has little to nothing to do with Gareth!

So:

Gawain, Agravain and Lancelot were born prior to Altria pulling the Sword. Gawain and Agravain are around the same age or a little younger than Altria. They all grow naturally.

Lancelot is already an adult by the time she draws the sword due to time shenanigans despite being born well after Altria and co. If he’s 18 when he leaves the fairy realm and joins Altria, then he can be almost 40 when Camelot falls. 

When Gaheris was born is unclear, but he grew to adulthood naturally.

Gareth and Galahad were born after Altria pulls the sword. Galahad was born after she begins her campaign, and marries Guinevere. They grew up naturally.

Mordred is born after Camelot is established and grew to adulthood very quickly. 

So if you assume that Morgan is at least 10ish years older than Altria and she took full advantage of being able to speedrun raising Lancelot and Mordred, this fits in. But boy, she sure puts those harem anime where the protags are juggling simultaneous dates to shame. 

#ac plays fgo #morgan le fey #altria pendragon #fgo #fate grand order

[bigskydreaming]

If Dick and Bruce are always both at fault for their conflicts then why does it always go “Dick does something/wants to do something and Bruce doesn’t like it or tells him he’s wrong.” With the other times being “Bruce does something that affects Dick’s life without considering it’s effect on Dick and Dick’s not really upset at what Bruce did he’s literally just upset about the lack of consideration for how Dick would be affected.”

Like how does that work. Dick’s stubbornness is so often cited as being what causes conflicts between them but like....he’s only stubborn when it comes to Bruce attempting to make choices for him or suddenly changing his mind about not being okay with stuff he’s previously enabled Dick in and expecting Dick to just be fine with that. With his temper cited as being what puts him equally at fault with Bruce the other times but again when he’s literally just upset at Bruce’s lack of visible consideration for how Dick is affected by various Big Decisions that Bruce makes....how does that track?

The frustration I and many others have about the vaguely referenced but rarely delved into implications or outright statements that Dick and Bruce fight so often because they’re both equally stubborn and hot headed and refusing to apologize....is that Bruce is the catalyst for almost all these conflicts. It’s his choices that prompt them. He decides things and Dick is affected in various ways by those decisions and Dick is almost always just saying hey I’m here, I matter, but it doesn’t feel that way when you keep acting like it’s hard to remember I exist and my feelings are any kind of priority to you.

That’s not equal. That’s not an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. That’s a big fish making big moves and the smaller fish he took in and who is emotionally attached to him for life frantically trying to remind him he’s along for the ride and getting dragged around by the slipstream the bigger one makes without any seeming awareness of his greater ability to affect the smaller one’s life, the very course and direction of it.

And that’s not because Dick’s lesser than Bruce but it is because what gets obscured by the sometimes vague ways their dynamic is hand waved as being something other than father and son but not actually defined....no matter how you slice it, Dick was his dependent. Literally. Bruce took responsibility for Dick as a child and Dick was dependent on him until he was old enough to be independent.

And that matters, even into Dick’s adulthood because their dynamic, no matter what it grew into, began from these roots and you can’t just uproot who they are twenty years later from the ground it was planted in and act like that has no bearing anymore. It doesn’t work that way.

Like, the thing about Bruce forgetting to prioritize Dick and how he’ll be affected by things I think has a lot to do with Bruce second guessing himself and wondering if he’s had a net positive effect on Dick’s life. And he can think back to when he made that choice to take Dick in and kinda picture or wonder might have happened if he hadn’t made that choice.

And by extension, he can see a life without Dick in it, even if he’s justifying it to himself as being better for Dick that way...but the point is he can see it because he did live it, even if briefly. He might have been young when he took in Dick but he was still an adult, still grown, still established in who he was and what he intended to do with his life.

But the problem lies in the fact that while Bruce might try to convince himself that Dick would have been better off without him, and by extension he thinks about a life without him....he’s picturing himself before taking him in. Still adult, still Brucie, still Batman. Still similar ENOUGH that he can put himself in this train of thought that like....if he’d just made a different choice then, Dick would be better off, and then from there he can kinda...make decisions from the POV of the self he was when Dick wasn’t in his life, he can see what that looks like, what he looks like, and he makes decisions that focus just on him and his own actions and he’s still thinking how Dick is better off that way. When he makes decisions without acknowledging how they’ll affect Dick, he’s not doing it to be thoughtless, he’s convinced himself to separate himself from Dick in his mind....and defaulting to the template of himself he has from when Dick really WASNT in his life yet.

And the thing is....Dick can’t do that. So when Bruce makes choices and actions that look and seem like he’s not acknowledging that Dick’s life is intrinsically connected to Bruce’s and everything Bruce does has SOME impact on him because he’s been the guiding force in Dick’s life since he was eight....when Bruce acts like he’s making choices as if in a world where he never took Dick in even if he thinks he’s better off that way....

There’s nothing for Dick to picture, to imagine that world in the way Bruce is. To imagine himself. Because take away Bruce’s impact on Dick’s life, and from Bruce’s POV you just see the infinite potential of what Dick could have been, but that’s because like....that’s Dick at age eight. He’s barely started becoming who he’ll be as an adult. Eight year olds by their very natures are more varied and full of potential than adults because there’s so much less set in stone by then, they have yet to establish themselves as THEM.

But take away Bruce’s impact on Dick’s life for whatever reason, and from Dick’s POV it looks vastly different. Because the only thing he can picture concretely then...is himself at age eight. When he was at his most lost and confused. When he WASNT able to be by himself yet because who he was just wasn’t even all there yet. It was still actively in formation. In a state of new growth, early stages of creation. When he still very much needed an adult presence with more experience, confidence and knowledge to help shape and guide him through the turbulent process of growing to adulthood and finding himself along the way.

Bruce imagines removing himself from the equation of Dick’s life and seeing the still unrealized potential of that eight year old and everything he might be. Dick is forced to imagine himself after Bruce’s removal from the equation of his life, simply because Bruce so often ACTS like he’s doing just that....and Dick suddenly has NO IDEA what he looks like.

Because he’s not fixated on the before image of himself that Bruce has when he thinks of Dick before Bruce took him in. He’s fixated on his life in the here and now...and when he’s catapulted into imaginings of life without Bruce because Bruce is acting like he exists entirely separate from Bruce and his decisions....he’s back to who he was before Bruce, that scared and confused little kid....and with no way to even begin to picture who he would have grown up to be in a life without Bruce.

Same imagined scenario. But two entirely different perspectives with wildly different appeal. As in one holds no appeal at all...because Dick has never really actually expressed that he wishes Bruce hadn’t taken him in. That HE thinks he would have been better off that way. It’s like asking him to picture himself as a total stranger with no way to begin imagining what he became instead of who he is now....and Dick LIKES who he is now. He has his issues but he LIKES being Nightwing, helping people, all the family and friends he would never have met in a world without Bruce.

It’s just....for all that Bruce says that Dick as an adult has become his equal, this is still a father and son and you can’t keep coming up in both canon and fanfics with events and stories where it’s like the father is operating from a place of ‘my son would be better off without me’ and act like the conflict that ensues is one of equal dynamic....because the conflict, the at odds perspectives, are directly born from the father and son dynamic.

It’s the father questioning his place in his son’s life, after being the one who volunteered for that position and thus earned the eternal gratitude of the son who had desperately needed that adult to depend on at the time he’d stepped into fill it...and the son now wondering well who the fuck even am I without that then, where does that leave me?

Bruce is picturing ANYONE being better for Dick at the times when he second guesses his impact on Dick’s life. But Dick is just picturing an empty cut out with no one to imagine in that place, just an awareness that the kid he’d been back then had really truly needed someone there and there’s no one to put in that place instead. (And it really doesn’t come up enough in examinations of Dick’s character, esp in stories using the juvie origin specifically that like....Dick was painfully aware that no one other than Bruce was exactly lining up to do right by him or give him one of those better lives Bruce is optimistically picturing for him when he’s second guessing his own suitability as Dick’s parent. Dick would be like did you forget where you found me??! Who the fuck do you think was going to give me a better life when nobody but you was even seeing a problem with me being in kiddie jail for the crime of Orphaned While Looked Down On By Society?)

But it’s just like....Bruce and Dick’s arguments, especially ones geared around ambiguity as to the status and nature of their relationship....are not conflicts between equals. They’re a son saying he feels like he doesn’t trust the dynamic between them is solid and the father being like well I’d like to reassure you it’s just I’m spiraling because I don’t think I even should be your father.

And that’s just. SO not something Dick can, let alone SHOULD have to address. HE’S the one who’s lost and adrift and basically a homeless orphan the second you take Bruce’s stability out of his life. It isn’t on that guy to reassure the one who volunteered to BE the source of stability in the life of the kid desperately in need of that.

Bruce is of course more than allowed and understandable in having doubts as a parent. But like. You go to Alfred for that. Clark. Selina. Literally any other adult. But not the kid who you force to wonder how to trust in the strength of the bond you’re actively questioning should even exist....when YOU’RE the source of that bond and what he relies on to see himself as even HAVING a parent at all.

Like. It just isn’t the “both equally at fault” thing people keep calling it. It’s a son flailing because he doubts his place in his father’s life at multiple points because his father basically at multiple points flat out says hey you should probably have doubts about that because LOL guess what I’m having right now!

Y’know?

Oh and also, PS - its reeeeeeally not great IMO, how many fics resolve these conflicts by HAVING Dick reassure Bruce that he loves him and is grateful to him for taking him in and he doesn’t know who he’d be without him, because uh....

You basically just ended whatever fight they were having by deciding that Dick couldn’t afford to even BE mad at Bruce any longer for whatever he did or said, because he has to prioritize making Bruce feel better about his own decisions instead of Bruce having to prioritize making him feel better about his place in the Batfam and ensuring Dick knows that he deserves better than just the bare minimum, parenting wise. That if Bruce legitimately fucked up, its okay to call him on it and hold him accountable for recognizing what he’d done and growing to see how he can do better.

Like....that’s not a resolution to their conflict! That’s just Dick being forced to pat his dad on the back for what a good job he did because Bruce’s insecurities are more important to address than whatever it was that Bruce did to upset Dick in the first place, even if it was literally something he’d fucked up as a parent, and that needed addressing or it’d happen again. (Like....it usually ends up happening again).

You literally make it impossible for Bruce to ever TRULY be held accountable for things he does to ANY of his kids....when you continually treat the ultimate resolution to these conflicts being the KIDS reassuring BRUCE.

My eternal mantra, repeated ad nauseam, in all caps for hyperbolic emphasis not because I’m actually yelling at anyone, I’m actually sitting down at my desk, quite calm at the moment just FYI, just saying:

BRUCE IS THE FATHER. BRUCE VOLUNTEERED TO BE THE FATHER. MAKE BRUCE ACT LIKE THE FATHER AND DO THE THINGS THE FATHER IS SUPPOSED TO DO. NOT HIS KIDS.