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#dhmu real ones know
whorecedes18 · 3 months
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klopp said he wants to leave on a strong note so can we please bottle every comp this year so he has to stay until next year at least??
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zerkinoff · 1 year
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FOR WHAT IS A MAN. WHAT HAS HE GOT. IF NOT HIMSELF. THEN HE AS NOT
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goalieloving · 1 month
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that tiktok audio thats a mash of “i’m not a violent dog. i don’t know why i bite” and i bet on losing dogs. what if i said deweys. what then?
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icarus-star · 3 months
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missing charlie hours ngl
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blue0909 · 8 months
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UUUAUAUAAAAAAUEYEUEUUEEUUEUEUUEEUEUEUEUEUEUEUUEUEUEUEUWWAAAUAUAUAUUEUEEUEUEUEUWUUEEUUWUWUAUAUAUAAAWEWAAAAAAAAAAAA
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Still my missing my bestie the professor
Rip the professor, I hope you still got some jelly beans left and you are teaching wherever you are
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bloowu · 2 years
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byler induced stroke pt 2
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slaughterbf · 2 years
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memser · 11 days
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oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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eternallydreaminggf · 3 months
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im evil now And will ignore ev eryone sincee they did it first. .
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wolfytae-exe · 5 months
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i’ve come to the conclusion that my followers are mostly here for my fics n drabbles and NOT my shitposts 🤧
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starstruckbaby · 11 months
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I HAD FUCKING WELKIN AND MY MOM UNINSTALLED GENSHIN I FUCKING HATE IT HERE!!! I JUST GOT YAE MIKO TO WHAT THE FUCK!!!! I WANTED TO GET KIRARA
i cant just re install it bc when i first got genshin there were so many issues where it wouldn't download all resources or it would just tell me an error had occured so to reinstall it i would have to find what is wrong like i did before.
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Lamao accidentally read an angry fix without checking for the hurt/comfort tag ahaha 🤣
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whyse7vn · 8 months
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BRO? -
[ot7 x reader]
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JIMIN -
y/n: bro
jimin: wys gang?
y/n: i just threw up in my mouth
jimin: you started it
on GOD 🙏🏻
y/n: stop
jimin: nah bro
what did you want dude
y/n: wanted you to pick me up
jimin: okay gang
on god i can do that for you
y/n: wanted
past tense
jimin: don’t even worry gang ur bros got you
y/n: ykw i’m so good gang 🙏🏽
bye
jimin: wait no come back 🥺
y/n: lol gang you into me or something??
jimin: i might be gang…
y/n: bro…
jimin: bro….
*whimpers*
y/n: bro????
jimin: no my fault bro i was getting into it
y/n: nah you always on that weird shit bro
jimin: i’m sowwy 🥺🥺🥺🥺
y/n: u tripping ong
bye again
jimin: dhmu only real bros would get it 🙏🏻😓
y/n: i’m real
jimin: real FAKE
y/n: ur real ugly
jimin: bro…
y/n: bro.
jimin: you’ve crossed the fucking line
y/n: sue me broski
jimin: how about i fuck you
y/n: this is why i distance myself from you
jimin: sorry nature takes over sometimes
y/n: ???
jimin: ???
y/n: tae core
jimin: we are not the same
y/n: i think you are
jimin: bro ong u tweaking
y/n: no bro ong i’m on to something
let me cook
jimin: cook me a orgasm lol
y/n: i’m blocking you lol
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YOONGI -
y/n: dude
yoongi: wrong person?
y/n: no?
yoongi: i’m telling you you’ve got the wrong person
y/n: i’m telling you i haven’t
yoongi: ur not funny
y/n: i’m laughing
yoongi: i’m not
y/n: cheer up bro
yoongi: fuck off
y/n: bro you can talk to me about anything
it’s okay
yoongi: i want to break up with my girlfriend
y/n: OMG????
yoongi: i thought i could talk to you about anything
y/n: i’m ur girlfriend tho :(
yoongi: though we were bros??
y/n: sometimes
yoongi: that’s not how it works
y/n: you clearly know nothing about bro code…
embarrassing
yoongi: sometimes i think violent thoughts
y/n: tf is bro talking about 💀
yoongi: leave me alone
y/n: do you love me
yoongi: do you want and honest answer
y/n: dude is acting like he hasn’t almost proposed to me several times 💀💀
yoongi: what do you actually want leave me alone
y/n: brotha wants to be left alone 💀
yoongi: stop talking like that
and i am not ur brother that’s nasty
y/n: why won’t you love me for me
yoongi: you’re annoying
y/n: sighs i know what dream feels like now
that’s what the mask is
that’s what the point of the mask is…
yoongi: tf is dream??
y/n: sorry did i give you flash backs
i miss no more dream yoongi
bring him back!!!
yoongi: no
y/n: he can be ur alter ego
or like on a full moon you transform into debut yoongi
where you roam the streets spitting in peoples faces
yoongi: debut me did not spit in peoples faces
y/n: ok???
but you looked like you did
sorry for assuming geez
you were more of a biter those days i remember
yoongi: i bit you once
y/n: ONE TIME TOO MANY MIN YOONGI
thinking about that day brings a tear to my eye
the shock the fear the betrayal it’s all coming back to me
yoongi: are you done?
y/n: yeah bro :/
yoongi: bye
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NAMJOON -
y/n: i want to chew on ur eyeballs
namjoon: that’s nice babe
y/n: i’ll crawl into ur skin
we will be one
namjoon: ok
y/n: god ur sosososos obsessed with me
namjoon: always
y/n: bro
namjoon: ??
y/n: ??
namjoon: i thought we were being nice to each other
y/n: that was nice
namjoon: you called me bro?
y/n: yeah?
namjoon: ok
y/n: do we have a problem?
namjoon: never
y/n: wow ur so obedient
namjoon: ok stop
y/n: why
namjoon: ur being weird again
y/n: again??
namjoon: you opened this conversation i want to chew on your eyeballs
y/n: and??
namjoon: i can only take so much
y/n: lame as hell bro
namjoon: why are you calling me bro?
y/n: it’s cute
namjoon: bro is cute??
y/n: no
namjoon: why do you chose to lie to me?
y/n: bored
namjoon: interesting
y/n: it’s not
i’m bored
namjoon: that sucks baby
go for a run or something idk?
y/n: are you saying i need to lose weight
namjoon: no wtf?
y/n: i think ur saying i need to lose weight
namjoon: ur putting words in my mouth
y/n: soon ur gonna start putting salad in mine
namjoon: bro
y/n: DID YOU JUST BRO ME????
namjoon: ur seeing things
y/n: OH MY GOD IVE JUSTBEEN SHOT IN THE CHEST
SOMONE CALL THE AMBULANCE
OW OW OW IT HURTS IT BURNS
I DONT THINK IM GONNA MAKE IT
namjoon: i think i’m gonna go for a run
y/n: how about you run away and never come back
namjoon: oh
y/n: go “oh” with ur new bitch
namjoon: my new bitch?
y/n: bet she loves when you call her bro
namjoon: you called me bro first…
y/n: what’s ur point???
namjoon: what are you mad at me?
y/n: i’m so hungry
namjoon: what
y/n: what
namjoon: love..
are you ok?
y/n: what does ok mean in this day and age joon?
namjoon: should i come home?
y/n: dude just go back to working out with all ur little buddies
namjoon: you miss me??
y/n: ur insane
namjoon: i’m omw home
y/n: idc bro!!!
namjoon: so i can work out for 2 more hours then?
y/n: whatever come home bitch
namjoon: love u seen you soon
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HOSEOK -
y/n: bro jimin just threw a rock at me
hobi: oh no
do you need mouth to mouth cpr
y/n: i need more than cpr
in so much pain rn
hobi: wait
??????
you just called me bro?????
y/n: why is that ur biggest concern rn
i said jimin just threw a rock at me A ROCK
a really big fucking rock
hobi: no you said bro jimin just threw a rock at me
BRO
like????
what is wrong with you?
y/n: I JUST GOT A ROCK THROWN AT ME
THATS WHATS WRONG
YOUR GIRLFRIEND JUST GOT A ROCK THROWN AT HER
hobi: WELL CLEARLY I HAVE NO GIRLFRIEND CUZ SHE JUST CALLED ME BRO
y/n: are you serious??
hobi: are you??
y/n: fine
hobi: fine
y/n: bro
hobi: it doesn’t even hurt me anymore
y/n: whatever you say buddy
hobi: carry on
y/n: k pal
hobi: 🙄
y/n: dude
hobi: i’m killing myself
y/n: you sound hurt
hobi: ok??
y/n: really that that deep bro…
hobi: OKAY STOP
y/n: pussy
hobi: am i a pretty pussy 🥺?
y/n: hoseok what the actual fuck
hobi: i’m feeling really insecure rn
can you please validate me
this is ur fault if we think about it
tell me i’m your petty pussy
y/n: ??????
ur fucking out of ur mind
why would i say that
why would you say that
wtf is wrong with you
hobi: plz
then i’ll like throw a rock back at jimin or something
avenge you
y/n: i’m not dead
hobi: ok ur just difficult then
say it pleaseeeeee
y/n: ew no go away
hobi: this isn’t love
y/n: it’s not
hobi: what happened to through sickness and health
y/n: so you admit you’ve got some kind of mental illness
hobi: why does it have to be mental
why couldn’t i have a physical illness
like being hot as fuck
hahahaha lol wow i’m so hilarious
y/n: u right u funny as hell cuz you ugly as fuck wow!!!!!!!
hobi: you didn’t mean that
y/n: bro
hobi: i’m gonna start crying
y/n: hobi…
hobi: babe
y/n: are you fr crying…
hobi: no lol
y/n: ur my pretty pussy
hobi: you mean it?
y/n: don’t push it.
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TAEHYUNG -
tae: why are you being so loud
y/n: ???
i’m not doing anything
can you hear tan?
tae: oh yeah
thought you were barking
y/n: why would i be fucking barking bro wtf???
tae: u could be trying new things
i wouldn’t judge you if you were
y/n: no
tae: shame
y/n: shame?
tae: bro?
y/n: what
tae: you called me bro by accident
y/n: ???
tae: babe you called me bro
y/n: ok
tae: by accident
why did you call me bro by accident
y/n: it wasn’t an accident
i typed it
on purpose
tae: why would you do that
y/n: ?
to communicate?
bro idk
tae: you did it again lol
why?
why bro?
could of said babe
baby even
no?
y/n: why does bro bother you?
tae: no lol ofc not wtf
you just don’t call me that
y/n: well i do now
tae: k
y/n: k?
tae: something wrong?
y/n: ur mad at me?
tae: no
y/n: upset
tae: never
y/n: ur not a child tell me
tae: bro does things to me
y/n: that sentence is crazy as hell
tae: PAUSE
y/n: paused
tae: don’t ever bro me again you slut
y/n: bro
tae: hey!!!
y/n: you do did not need to call me a slut
tae: was that not sexy
y/n: no
bro
tae: i hate it
y/n: bro
tae: it’s gross
I’m your boyfriend
y/n: barely
tae: meaning??
y/n: i’m sure you can figure out the meaning
tae: i know what barley means!
y/n: i’m glad
tae: why am i barley ur boyfriend??
y/n: ur strange
no offence
actually all offence
u harm my public reputation constantly
tae: i think ur so in love with me
y/n: i’m glad you’ve taken the delusion route instead of the depressed one
tae: sometimes your funniest friends are the most depressed ones…
y/n: ur so right i should give jin a call ❤️🙏🏽
tae: i was talking about me
y/n: we are not friends and ur not funny
tae: ur right we’re dating and i’m fucking hilarious
y/n: bro…
tae: come kiss me on my hot mouth babe 😋
y/n: i’ll pass
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JUNGKOOK -
y/n: dude
jk: me?
y/n: yes
jk: are we fighting?
y/n: no why
jk: dude??
y/n: dude
jk: ok
y/n: are you crying rn?
jk: no?
y/n: i can hear you
jk: why would you ask then
y/n: wanted to see if you were a sick little liar
jk: i am
y/n: you are
jk: tell me you love me
y/n: lol
jk: i’ll throw up
y/n: make sure u clean it up
jk: babe
y/n: bro
jk: would you love me if i was a worm?
y/n: no
jk: but you told me you would last week
y/n: that’s cuz you were drunk and would of started crying if i said no
jk: i’m crying now
y/n: exactly
it’s 10x worse when ur drunk
jk: maybe you have a point
y/n: are you still crying?
jk: no
y/n: i can still hear you
jk: no
y/n: dude
OH MY GOD DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST THROW UP??????/)£/£:££
jk: yes
y/n: JUNGKOOK WHAT THE HELL
jk: i told you
y/n: that’s not healthy
like at all
that’s really worrying actually
jk: i love you
y/n: clearly wow
that’s insane
jk: do you want to kiss me?
y/n: no
you just threw up
jk: or did i?
y/n: you did
jk: i did
y/n: it’s okay
jk: is it
y/n: no
jk: :c
i’ll clean it
y/n: it’s okay i’ll do it
jk: why
do you maybe like me a bit
y/n: no
jk: oh
y/n: go get comfy in bed
jk: but i have to clean
y/n: i said i’ll do it
jk: r u sure
y/n: no
jk: oh
y/n: i do not hear you moving upstairs jungkook
jk: i’m going i swear
sorry for throwing up
y/n: sorry for calling you dude
jk: fr?
y/n: no
jk: knew it
it’s okay tho
i’m strong
y/n: you just threw up cuz i called you dude?
jk: i can be strong sometimes
just caught me at a weak moment
y/n: you have a lot of weak moments don’t you?
jk: sometimes it’s hard to tell if you like me
y/n: i got the biggest crush on u fr
jk: 🫢
woah
i’m in bed now
y/n: kk be with you in 5 bro
jk: stop it
y/n: 🫢
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SEOKJIN-
y/n: bro can you order pizza pls i’m begging you
jin: normally i would be into you begging but the bro is throwing me off
y/n: wdym???
are you ordering or not
i’m hungry
???
HELLO
DUDE
COME ON
jin: no
stop calling me those names
y/n: bro?
dude????
why?
jin: i am not your bro nor dude
y/n: ur my dude <3
jin: adding a heart does not make it any better
dude is for like friends
idk if you have any but i am NOT one of those
y/n: um wtf i have friends
jin: the members don’t count
y/n: WHY DON’T THEY COUNT?
jin: ur sad
y/n: bro
jin: do you want to break up
y/n: lowkey
jin: wtf
y/n: look me in the eyes bro
jin: no
y/n: yes
jin: no
y/n: this is kinda hot
jin: lmao not surprised i have that charm to me
y/n: sorry wrong chat
jin: what
y/n: anyways ur were too slow yoongi ordered me pizza
and i’m not sharing
jin: i don’t want any of yoongi’s nasty pizza
i hope the pizza place spits on it
y/n: ur mad
jin: ur single
y/n: finally
jin: ?
y/n: ?
jin: i find our love so comforting ❤️
y/n: dude you have lost ur mind
jin: okay wtf
ur acting like you don’t want me
y/n: loooooooooooooooooool
jin: and people think i’m the mean one
y/n: i tolerate you
jin: what is the issue???
if you want to fight we can
i’m ready meet me in the ring at 6
y/n: don’t you have a military service to be serving??
jin: i will serve crack before i severe this country
y/n: yikes
i’ll snitch
jin: ofc you will
you rat
y/n: wow is that how you feel?
jin: yep
y/n: wow
jin: don’t act all nice now you started this
was mean for no reason
finish the battle rat
y/n: ur fucking old
jin: ok wtf
you can no longer send messages to this contact!
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yeombeoni · 4 months
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i hate crazyb, forever a ra*bits and akatsuki P
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arctasy · 3 months
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all friends do is lie 💔💔💔 (dhmu only real ones know)
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