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#depressiveepisode
provokingdrama · 1 year
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"Waiting for Something That Will Never Come" c.2006. Acrylic on canvasboard (probably 18"×24"). I may have posted this painting before with its meaning, but right now I'm posting it for the depression I've just emerged from. It's been a really long time since I was in a depressive episode this bad (last time was 2017, although I'm usually fairly depressed most of the time generally). It started in November or October last year and ended fairly recently. It's been miserable. I feel better now though. My psychiatrist thinks I may also have Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I'm thinking I probably do. I grew up in California where sun is obviously consistent but I'd still get depressed in winter (and several summers too. It's weird). Not always, but often. Now I live 1,500 miles north in Canada in the prairies and it seems more likely as the sun is virtually absent in winter. Anyway, just an update, haven't been talking much for the last few months, the depression was why. Thanks for sticking around. ❤ I appreciate it. #art #darkart #mentalhealthmatters #depression #depressiveepisode #blue #acrylicpainting #acrylicart #artistoninstagram #artoninstagram #artistsofinstagram #majordepressivedisorder #schizophrenia #schizoaffective #schizoaffectivedisorder #seasonalaffectivedisorder #SAD #thingsaregettingbetter #tired https://www.instagram.com/p/CpT3phorhoN/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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myositisandme · 1 year
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Sat Dec 17th 2022
Today marks one week of being on the meds! To be honest, it's been an emotionally shit day. I woke up feeling very sore. I got up later than usual because I stayed up late last night worrying about my husband. As usual, it took me an hour until I finally was able to get myself off my bed to have breakfast and take my meds. I just started crying and felt shit because I didn't feel physically well.
After an hour or so, my depressive episode was over. I feel fine now but I still feel physically tired. I popped outside to pick up a package (oh it was a box. big deal!). Even though I had to take a lot of breaks on the way back to my apartment, I noticed I've been getting more energy in my walking. I will def take that as a victory of the day!
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19.08.22
The past few days have honestly been a shit show. On Wednesday afternoon the crisis team was called but they advised I go straight to A&E due to concerns over how low my mood was. I went. I had an assessment with the psych team and they suggested I go to the psych ward, I refused as it just seemed completely pointless. So I was assessed again and put on section 2 and transferred to the local psych ward.
Yesterday, I had a review with the psychiatrist and begged to go home. It was a firm no and that they wanted to do a meds review as it was clear I was "severely depressed". Anyone who knows antidepressants will know it can take weeks for them to kick in.
A few hours later I tried to take my life, I had smuggled in a plastic bag and a cord but the staff checked on me far earlier than they should have and caught me out completely. Safe to say I was devastated. My room got practically stripped and now I have nothing. I'll just wait until I'm out.
I'm now on quite a lot of diazepam which is just knocking me out but I'm more terrified it will make me gain weight. I hate feeling so out of it too.
On top of that, I may not be allowed to go back to residential. That means I'll be discharged to the community with barely any support. I should care but tbh I'm just exhausted and don't have the energy. All I can think about is ending my life.
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crycies · 2 years
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I just wanna eat without the fear of gaining weight.
pls
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crossnnshadow · 2 years
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#Repost @borderline_princess_x with @use.repost ・・・ #bpd #bpdbrain #bpdthings #bpdawareness #bpdstruggle #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #beingborderline #borderlinethings #depressiveepisodes #manic #borderlineawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #ptsd #cptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdsurvivor #childhoodabuse (at Goonellabah, New South Wales) https://www.instagram.com/p/Chj5mlrh2UU/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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tallmantall · 2 years
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#SeptemberisNationalSuicidePreventionMonth - What’s the Difference Between #BipolarIDisorders and #BipolarIIDisorders?
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- What’s #bipolardisorder? - Mania - Hypomania - Depressive episodes - Similarities between I and II - Differences between I and II - Treatment - Can your diagnosis change? - Let’s recap While there are similarities between #bipolar I and #bipolar II disorders, a few key elements set them apart. Lately, you seem to have more energy than usual. Your loved ones have noticed that you’re speaking differently, and they’ve pointed out a change in your sleep schedule. Given this, you’re wondering if you may have #bipolardisorder. And if that’s the case, which type is it? Only a #mentalhealthprofessional can provide an accurate diagnosis. In any case, the outlook is hopeful. With supportive treatment, your symptoms of #bipolar I or #bipolar II can be managed. But a specific diagnosis can make all the difference in your treatment plan. PSYCH CENTRAL RESOURCES Get a deeper understanding of trauma and #PTSD Sign up for our 5-day series and learn about the science behind trauma from a licensed #psychologist. What’s #bipolardisorder? #Bipolardisorder is a #mentalhealthcondition that impacts about 2%Trusted Source of the global population. It causes changes in your mood, called “mood episodes.” #Bipolardisorder exists on a spectrum, and not everyone experiences it the same way. There are four types of #bipolardisorder: - #bipolarIdisorder - #bipolarIIdisorder - #cyclothymicdisorder - #bipolardisorder unspecified If you live with this condition, you may cycle between moods over a period of days, weeks, or months, according to the #AmericanPsychiatricAssociation (#APA). Symptoms of #bipolardisorder vary. They may present as mania (or hypomania), depressive episodes, or a combination of both. You may also have periods where you don’t experience extreme highs or lows. What’s mania? Mania, or a manic episode, is the main diagnostic criteria for #bipolarIdisorder. You may have a manic episode for a week or more, during which you’ll feel unusually high in energy or self-confidence, according to the #NationalInstituteofMentalHealth (#NIMH)Trusted Source. During a manic episode, you may talk quickly and jump from topic to topic. You may have difficulty controlling impulses, leading to behaviors like spending more money than usual or driving at high speed. Sometimes, people with manic episodes also experience symptoms of #psychosis. These symptoms often require urgent medical care and can include: - hallucinations - delusions - disorganized thinking and speech #Psychosis can also occur during depressive episodes, but it’s more common during mania. What’s hypomania? Hypomania is one of the diagnostic criteria of #bipolarIIdisorder. A hypomanic episode is similar to a manic episode but considered milder. While many of the symptoms overlap, they differ in the level of intensity. During a hypomanic episode, you may feel a sense of euphoria or a general “good mood.” It could arrive as a sudden onset of new ideas or creativity. Perhaps you sleep less or have a hard time turning off your brain from racing thoughts. You may feel more social than usual or have an increased desire for sex. You may also find that you have more energy to do things that you normally feel too tired to do. This sudden boost in energy levels is not as extreme as during episodes of mania. What’s a #depressiveepisode? A #depressiveepisode may occur in all types of #bipolardisorder. Though, contrary to popular belief, it is not required for a diagnosis of #bipolarIdisorder. Some signs of a #depressiveepisode include: - an overwhelming sense of sadness or despair - appetite or weight changes - extreme fatigue or exhaustion - inability to enjoy your favorite activities - #insomnia or trouble falling asleep - irritability or angry outbursts - sensory sensitivities (noise, touch, etc.) - thoughts of #self-harm or #suicide If you or someone you know is considering #suicide, you’re not alone. Help is available right now: - Call the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline 24 hours a day at 800-273-8255. - Text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741. - Not in the #UnitedStates? Find a helpline in your country with Befrienders Worldwide. Similarities between #bipolar I and #bipolar II While they’re considered separate diagnoses, there are many overlaps between #bipolar I and #bipolarIIdisorders. Onset For the majority of people, symptoms of #bipolardisorder first emerge between the ages of 15 and 24, regardless of the subtype. In the #UnitedStates, research shows that 66% of those with a #bipolardisorder diagnosis received it before the age of 19. In Europe, it’s about 33%. Causes Researchers still don’t know exactly what causes #bipolardisorder, but geneticsTrusted Source, neurotransmittersTrusted Source, and hormonesTrusted Source are thought to play a role. In both #bipolar I and #bipolar II, symptoms may be exacerbated by substance use, history of #childhood trauma, death of a loved one, or persistent significant #stress. Symptoms In order to receive a diagnosis of any type of #bipolardisorder, you must experience intense changes in mood that differ from your usual state. You must also experience at least one episode of mania or hypomania. General symptoms of these episodes may include: - elevated energy level - feeling restless - needing less sleep - increased self-confidence - being more talkative than normal - having a rush of new plans and ideas - working on multiple projects at once - being easily distracted - having decreased inhibitions - increased libido Differences between #bipolar I and #bipolar II Prevalence Research suggests that #bipolarIdisorder is the more prevalent of the two. In one study across 11 countries, researchers found that 0.6%Trusted Source of people live with #bipolarIdisorder, while 0.4%Trusted Source live with #bipolarIIdisorder. #Depression There is new researchTrusted Source to suggest that those who live with #bipolarIIdisorder may have a higher genetic chance of major #depressivedisorder (MDD) than those with #bipolarIdisorder. In #bipolarIIdisorder, #depression may occur more frequently. It may even be your dominant experience. Symptoms There are some crucial differences in how the two types are diagnosed. #BipolarIdisorder#BipolarIIdisorderSymptoms are more intense and frequent.Symptoms may present as less intense.You have at least one manic episode with symptoms of #psychosis that may or may not require hospital care.You have at least one hypomanic episode, typically without #psychosis or hospital care.Mania occurs for at least 7 days or more.Hypomania occurs for at least 4 days or more.No #depressiveepisode is required to receive a diagnosis.You have at least one #depressiveepisode lasting 2 weeks or more.Symptoms may lead to hospitalization, but not always.Symptoms are less likely to lead to hospitalization. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleOrder your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy http://www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Are #bipolar I and #bipolar II treated the same way? Everyone’s experience with #bipolardisorder is unique. Treatment of #bipolardisorder may include a combination of: - psychotherapy - medication - lifestyle changes - self-care strategies You may have additional specifiers in your #bipolardisorder diagnosis, like rapid cycling or features of #psychosis, that can modulate the type of treatment that’s best for you. Seeking the help of a #mentalhealthprofessional is highly advisable. They will work with you to create a treatment plan that fits your individual needs and experiences. Medication In general, treatment for #bipolarIdisorder may include mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, and sleep aids. Treatment for #bipolarIIdisorder may include mood stabilizers and antidepressants, as depressive episodes may show up more often. Psychotherapy Some form of therapy is recommended for all types of #bipolardisorder. There are five modalities that may be effective for this condition, according to the #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness (#NAMI). These include: - #cognitivebehavioraltherapy (#CBT) - family-focused therapy (FFP) - interpersonal and social rhythm therapy (IPSRT) - #dialecticalbehavioraltherapy (#DBT) - group psychoeducation (aka, group therapy) Inpatient treatment Those who live with #bipolarIdisorder may benefit from hospitalization or inpatient treatment, particularly during manic episodes with symptoms of #psychosis. However, this is not the rule, and only a health team can recommend what’s best for you at the time you’re presenting symptoms. Can you move from one diagnosis to the other?  If you’ve been living with #bipolardisorder for a while, you may have seen your symptoms shift over time. This is natural as you age and try out different treatments. With that said, researchers don’t yet know if you can experience one type of #bipolardisorder first and then another. Some expertsTrusted Source assert that it’s possible, though more studies are needed. In one older study, 42%Trusted Source of those diagnosed with cyclothymia transitioned to #bipolar II or #bipolarIdisorder. Of those with a diagnosis of #bipolarIIdisorder, 17%Trusted Source changed to a diagnosis of #bipolarIdisorder. Let’s recap Living with #bipolardisorder, no matter which type it is, can be a challenge. If your mood episodes occur frequently, feel intense, and sometimes require hospital care, it may be #bipolarIdisorder. If your mania symptoms feel more mild, and you experience #depressiveepisodes more often, it may be #bipolarIIdisorder. Only a #mentalhealthprofessional can provide the right diagnosis. In any case, symptoms of #bipolardisorder can be managed and recovery is possible. Read the full article
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vampyr-akademia · 3 years
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I've been trying to study for my finals the whole day. But it's hard to concentrate when all you can think about is how much you hate yourself and how much you'd like to die. I know if I fail my finals because I didn't manage to learn I'll hate myself even more because that will be proof for me that I'm stupid and worthless. On the other hand my thoughts are telling me that I'm worthless and ugly anyway and that these finals mean nothing because I'd rather be dead anyway. I thought I'd change, I thought I'd be able to have a normal life but I guess I was wrong. I didn't change one bit. I wish I just could end it all.
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ne0n-gravestone · 4 years
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Hello,
I'm going through another big sad episode atm and i thought i would share something.
Its important to eat atleast something durring those days.
And i found that, if you feel up for a little cooking thats more that making cup noodles, id share what i usually make.
YOU WILL NEED:
1 bag of frozen veggie mix (i use the italian mix from a brand called frosta. It has zuccini and broccoli in it, wich are my faves)
Salt
Pepper
And any herbs and spices you like
Garlic if you like it
Rice or pasta, wichever you like best or both:)
Jar of tomatoe sauce
Instructions:
(for the pasta version)
Put water in a pot, add salt, bring to a boil and cook pasta as the packege said
Pull out a pan and add some olive oil or other oil and turn heat on
Crush and peel garlic and add it to the pan. Let that sissle for a minute or two and then add as much of the veggies as you like
Stir occasionally and let cook till almost done
Depending on how done the pasta is, either put it in the pan now, or do this step before
Now, put the ammount of sauce you want in the pan with the veggies, sprincle in your herbs and spices and add a little water. Stir till its all combined(if you havent added the pasta yet, do it now and stir)
And the pasta version is done :)
For the rice version:
Prepare the veggies as instructed before
Take out a cup and fill it halfway with rice
Put the rice in a strainer or bowl. Set aside
Take a small pot and fill the cup completely with water, add to pot and turn on heat, add salt
Wash the rice 2 or 3 times
Add to pot, put a lid on it and let it boil for 2 minutes
Then turn the heat on low and let it simmer for about 10 minutes or untill the water at the bottom is gone.
Turn off heat
Let the rice sit with the lid on for another 10 minutes.
Take a bowl and put both the veggies and rice into it.
And enjoy some healty-ish low effort food :)
I hope this helps someone
Hope you get out of this soon🌿
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fcked-up-sometimes · 4 years
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This is for everyone who I’ve met who says there isn’t stigma around mental illness because “everyone is always talking about it”.
What symptom/s do you have that aren’t socially acceptable to talk about?
For my bipolar it is
• Having no filter/ boundaries with strangers (when manic)
• Being reckless and impulsive, because I’m obviously invincible 🙄 (when manic)
• Rage and agitation (when having a manic/ mixed episode)
• Lack of hygiene: not showering, changing my clothes or cleaning my teeth (when really manic, mixed or depressed)
• Isolating myself, being unreliable and always the sad one (when depressed)
• Psychosis (at my worst during any mood episode)
• Being hospitalised involuntarily (during manic, mixed or depressive episodes)
• Harming myself or trying to end it (when depressed or during a mixed episode)
• Loss of insight “how can’t you understand that you weren’t well”
For my eating disorder it is
• Having am eating disorder at all weights... surely I can’t still have an eating disorder and be in a bigger body 🤦‍♀️
• Wasting money on food that I would go and b/p
• The physical affects that having an eating disorder can cause - like my hair thinning when I had bulimia and losing my period and being freezing when I was anorexic. It’s not pretty
• Having times when you don’t want to recover
For my anxiety it is
• Being the inconvenient one who can’t ‘just catch a train’ because of crippling anxiety so stays home
• Random panic attacks
• Not having a reason for the fear
• And yes still struggling *even* though it’s been ages
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duke-and-acceptance · 5 years
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Why am I staying alive for these people that won't even check in with me to see if I'm still alive?
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myositisandme · 1 year
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I don't normally do this but I feel it is important to spread awareness about people with chronic illnesses. Today, I just feel shit. Like pretty depressive. As soon as I got up, I just wanted to cry. Right now, my cat is trying to get love from me but really, I need the love from him. This pic encapsulates just that. If you feel down, def reach out to somebody. Anybody! For those looking after loved ones with a similar illness, please just check in! A text, phone call... anything. It truly makes a difference. #depression #awareness #myositisawareness #autoimmunedisease #chronicillness #depressiveepisode #myositis #myositisandme #cats #love #diary #meds #autoimmune https://www.instagram.com/p/CmSZgGAPSiw/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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Today's been difficult, to say the least.
Jumping on the scales, I saw my weight had dropped again, 0.4 in 3 days. This isn't ok. This has to stop! After a breakfast of Weetabix and hot water with sweeteners, I went back to bed.
I was woken by the consultant and asked to join in on the meeting with residential. The screen was filled by the OT and I felt myself longing to be back there. She, the manager and the clinical lead all greeted me and raised their concerns wanting them to be documented. Probably so they can't be liable if I do anything.
I wasn't there long. They asked me how I felt (still sad but not as bad as when I came in), that I still appeared low (I didn't comment) and whether I could keep myself safe (yes (I think)). The team here tried to reassure them by saying I was cheerful in the corridors (I'm not) and that I was engaging in groups (I've been to 2) but residential remained wary and tbh I don't blame them.
A couple of hours later, the clinical lead called and told me briefly the outcome of the meeting. I can go on leave on Friday but will need to self-isolate until 2 PCRs come back as negative. Not ideal, but I just want to be back, I'll do whatever they ask. She told me to get the idea of 800 calories out of my head as if I can't comply they'll send me to an EDU. Not what I want, not at all!
Another couple of hours later, I finally managed to speak to the lady who chaired the meeting. Apparently residential don't want me back as they're really concerned about my health (both physical and mental). The problem is, I have nowhere else to go and I want to go back!
I'm so scared they will transfer me to an EDU and then refuse to have me back. I have nowhere else to go.
The fact is, I'm still struggling with depression but being in hospital is only making me worse, mentally and physically. I'm worried that me restricting is what is helping me manage my depression. What if by eating more, I lose my ability to cope with my low mood?
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crycies · 2 years
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It's all over for y'all once I'm skinny.
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#depression #freezeresponse #survivalmode #depressiveepisode #cptsd #complexptsd #complextrauma #developmentaltrauma #childhoodtrauma #trauma #ptsd #childhoodptsd #cptsdrecovery #survivor #warrior #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticmother #donm #acon #tellingmystory #sharingmystory #blogger #youtuber #mentalhealthadvocate @pokingholes_cptsdwarrior https://www.instagram.com/p/B7QBnXFhTf9/?igshid=c2cb3xfju7xp
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i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why i fucking hate myself and can only cope with it by harming myself and that’s why
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ateumi-blog · 5 years
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Bipolar Feels. Diagnosis is a challenge.
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