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robobee · 2 years

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every other week i take the stance to slowly ween off talking to anyone so they don't notice the loss when i d!3 but this is halted by the simple fact that I cannot shut the fuck up & I love to infodump

#[corny villain voice] curses #depressive tw #/lh /hj

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thesimbiote · 2 years

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Idk how I should feel about anything anymore. It’s my moms birthday and everything was going fine. But after lunch she seemed to not want to do anything with me. I felt slightly rejected, but I pushed it away. Despite living together we don’t really talk as much as we used to. Before going back to my room I said something about medical stuff - that I could pay for it but I needed her help with the transaction as they didn’t take cash. This led to a fight where I was in tears and walked away. Idk why she did, but she then proceeded to yell at me and try and gaslight me into thinking me crying and walking away was equivalent to yelling and being agressive. This led to another fight where we’re both yelling. I tried to leave and she once again claimed I never listen to her. “See you’re cutting me off.” Lady, that’s because you were repeating the same sentence and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I told she needs to stop with the victimization schtick. Her go to response when she starts an argument is “it’s always my fault. Everything’s my fault.” Not everything, but yeah this argument is your fault. Take some accountability woman. You’re 55.

Well I went to leave. And she proceeded to call me worthless and lazy. “You won’t get your license. You won’t get a job.” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! it’s not that I won’t. It’s that I can’t. Getting a license in Florida as an adult without having one prior is confusing. She knows this. I’ve asked her for help and she shrugs me off. And businesses say they are hiring but when I apply I either get nothing or I get “sorry you’re not what we’re looking for” despite claiming no experience necessary. She knows that. She knows I get depressed over it. But what should I expect. She’s that type of person to complain that no one wants to work. “People are hiring. It’s just no one wants to work.”

Thanks to her. I’m in medical debt because she won’t help me with a slip and fall case - though she said she would help with that. I may end up needing another root canal because I haven’t gone to the dentist in two years though she said she would help me with that too. And I need to get blood work done due to hair problems that’s making me incredibly self conscious and she refuses to even help even though I can pay for it.

I don’t know what to do. I feel worthless and insignificant. No job wants me. I feel like my mom doesn’t want me. My grandma lives in a different state, so I can’t visit her. As do my friends. I only have my mom and I feel like I’m a burden. It hurts…

#nonsims #tw depression #depression tw #tw depressive #tw blood #blood tw #depressive tw

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lostmf · 6 months

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