#deleted my other post apparently so i can’t add on to it and continue to chain of being wrong
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The Taz Skylar situation
Hey folks, I know people have been posting about this already, but I’d thought I’d throw in my two cents - I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind, I’m just throwing my thoughts out into the internet because, well, this is tumblr and that’s kind of what we do here.
Imma preface this by saying I haven’t done a deep dive into what’s going on with the taz situation, because honestly I have better things to do. But from what I’ve seen the main issue was Taz did a fundraiser for the British Red Cross, and then when it was brought up that they’re apparently supporting Israel he poorly handled the situation, specifically with a tweet he made (included below).
If you continue reading, please note, I personally am giving Taz the benefit of the doubt here. And hence will have my biases in regards to the situation.
The Red Cross Fundraiser
The Red Cross is a humanitarian aid charity, it’s supposed to help people, so I can understand how someone, with good intentions, looking to donate to a charity, would end up picking them - particularly as they’re very well known.
When it comes to the Red Cross supporting Israel, I tried looking into it and got a lot conflicting claims. Some saying they were supporting Palestine, some saying they were supporting Israel, so I can’t speak to the morality of Red Cross as an organisation at the moment (if you have links to specific articles and details feel free to add them on this post).
So personally in regards to the fundraiser, I think it would be unfair to say Taz was specifically aiming to support Israel, or to claim that he condones Israel’s actions because of the fundraiser.
That being said, you should always do research into charities you choose to support, whether you’re a regular person or a celebrity, to make sure (as much as you can) that the money you’re sending over is actually doing what you intended it to. Hopefully this is something Taz will have learned from this situation, and will consider more moving forward.
The Tweet
As for the tweet he made, which was potentially (but I don’t believe confirmed to be) in regard to the fundraiser….Personally, I feel it came off as quite ignorant.
Now while again I am giving taz the benefit of the doubt in terms of his overall beliefs and intentions, that doesn’t mean I can’t be critical of choices he makes. And choosing to make a vague tweet about “different opinions” being “okay” because sometimes people “see things differently,” when people are saying you support a genocide…was not a good choice. And specifically, ending it by saying “If you go to war with everyone who differs in opinion, we’d all be at war with everyone all the time” given the context of the situation, to me felt like an ignorant and quite insensitive thing to say.
Now, given that taz stated on his Instagram story (I believe prior to the tweet) that what he was doing was, “really not” a “political statement” and that he just wanted “to start [the] year off with something positive” I’m hoping the different opinions tweet was intended to be in the realm of ‘hey man, make love not war. We should like just like, listen to each other more and be kind✌️’ Rather than the ‘let’s agree to disagree. I’m entitled to my opinion’ shit we’ve seen particularly associated with right wing ideology in recent years.
I’m hoping taz (poorly) tweeted with the former sentiment in mind. Based on the fact he went on to say in that same story that he “[hoped] that this year can be one where everyone comes together a lot more” and has in the past tweeted that it “Takes the same energy to dig a grave as it does to build a shelter” and that we should “dig less graves and build more shelters.” This, in addition to his work and donations to charities for (I believe) several years prior to this, and prior to OPLA, is wat makes me hesitant to say Taz is in support of Israel based on this situation.
And while he’s has now deleted the tweet, I hope it wasn’t just because of a negative reaction, but because he has reflected on what he said and how he said it.
Additional Claims
Now I know some people have also brought up that he follows a few actors who are zionists (I haven’t looked into it so I don’t know how accurate those claims are) but to me unless he comes out and says he’s in support of them and their beliefs, I’m not going to use this as a accurate way of knowing what Taz believes. Because honestly, as someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time on social media myself, I miss a lot of stuff in regard to which actor is currently being a piece of shit. And I wouldn’t want people to judge my morals based on the fact that at some point, I followed some celebrity on social media.
Conclusion
End of the day I don’t think it’s fair or truthful to say Taz has ‘come out as a zionist’ nor do I think it’s productive to say he’s some totally ‘innocent sweetheart who didn’t do anything wrong,’ because….he’s literally just some dude. I know up until this point he’s kinda been characterise on the internet as this like, great, sweet, dedicated, hardworking, boyfriend material guy, and I’m not saying that those qualities were attributed to him out of nowhere, but he’s also just a human being. He will make mistakes. But just like all of us he has the ability to reflect and grow, and just like all of us he should be given the chance to do so - though remember, leaving space for someone to grow as a human being is not the same as coddling them when they fuck up. Being critical of someone’s actions and holding them appropriately accountable is part of the process of growth.
Anyways moral of the story, celebrities are just people, make sure you don’t fall into the trap of parasocial love OR parascoial hate, and the world is always at least a bit shit, with people who will have shit beliefs, and it’s ok to be disappointed and speak out against that so long as you’re not treating it like a witch hunt.
This post was made on the 5th of February 2024, with the information I’ve gathered while scrolling on tumblr. My opinion on Taz Skylar is subject to change if new information is brought to my attention after it has been been posted.
As this is just a side blog, if you try to directly talk to me on this post I will not reply. Additionally, I’m not trying to start a debate so if you come to my blog to start and argument I will block you. Reminder I don’t really care what you think of Taz Skylar, it’s your life and your time bro. I’m just some rando rambling on the internet.
#taz skylar#sorry if this isn’t written very well I’m not a writer guys#also sorry it’s quite a chunk of text it ended up being a lot longer than I thought it was going to be
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Another shit post about critiquing psychologists
I almost deleted my tumblr altogether since the glory days are long gone, but I realize its a great place to shit post every now and then and be able to forget about it.
Let’s begin.
There’s an old interaction that I think about every now and then, about an old client of mine and the new therapist (but specifically psychologist in training) that took over for me when I left that particular clinic.
That client in particular had quite literally a textbook case of Dependent Personality Disorder. They literally met every single criteria. Period. And that’s really what it all comes down to when diagnosing people, do they meet criteria?. We do not diagnose on v i b e s we diagnose on what criteria clients’ meet. Pretty straight forward.
I worked with this client for 9 months and after a lot of back and forth on why certain diagnoses didn’t match their presentation or explain why they were struggling so much in specific areas, DPD fit perfectly. I honestly felt as though we cracked a code and adjusted treatment accordingly to help with what they were struggling with.
When it was time for me to leave the clinic and pass this client along to the new therapist, who again was also a PsyD student, and just so happen to be in my cohort, took it upon themselves to change the diagnosis. That alone is not something to get irritated about because that’s going to happen. That is a reality of this field, its a common saying that if the same client meets with a 100 different psychologists you’re going to end up with 100 different diagnoses.
What irritated me was that this therapist wanted to change the diagnosis from Dependent Personality Disorder to Borderline Personality Disorder. Their reason? The client was guarded and irritable towards them.
Pause.
What the fuck?
Because a client who already struggled interpersonally was losing a therapist they had been working with for close to a year was upset towards the new therapist they clearly had BPD?! That was their ENTIRE rationalization. Because the first few sessions the client had an attitude. Another important detail to add, is that because of this blasphemous new diagnosis, the supervisor suggested this client be referred OUT for a “higher level of care”.
Way to reject this client a second time by telling them they are “too much” and therefore can’t be helped. The absolute audacity.
And to put it blankly, those diagnoses are VERY different. The criteria are VERY different. But apparently none of that shit mattered.
Unfortunately, after I officially left this clinic I never found out what happened with that client. I don’t know if their diagnosis was officially changed and therefore referred out from the clinic or if the new therapist continued seeing them. I just hope they’re doing okay =/
I could say more about this therapist in particular, they had (and continue to have) a track record for doing things their way and in the most convenient way for themselves which in the long run only hurts the clients. But that’s a whole other shit post.
#Psychology is problematic#psychologists are trash tbh#dependent personality disorder#borderline personality disorder
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Their Daughter
Authors Note: I swear I posted this before, but I can’t find it anywhere on my account so I’m thinking Tumblr deleted it. I did add a little onto the end if this part so if you have read I would advise to read it again. Please don’t copy to other sites.
Warnings: yelling, crying, uhhhhh
The week and a half at Malfoy Manor passed way too fast for Ali’s liking. In all honesty, she wasn’t looking forward to spending the rest of her summer with the Weasley bunch and Potter. School started in three weeks as it was and she knew that she would be seeing plenty of them there, and spending even more time with them made her want to vomit. She felt like she was able to breathe when she was with the Malfoys. She missed her Uncles but spending so much time with Narcissa and her friends helped take her mind off of everything.
After their first trip to Diagon Alley, they want another time just Narcissa and Ali to spend some quality time together and that’s how Ali was ending up with a trunk so full she and Draco had to sit on it to close it, her friends were around the Manor a lot more. Pansy, Theo, and Blaise had stayed the night after their families had dinner together meaning that they all slept in the living room after talking late into the night. Ali was woken up by her aunt shaking her awake, telling her that if she wanted Blaise to stay breathing she needed to move. Somehow that night the two had ended up right beside each other with Ali’s head on Blaise's right arm while his left was under his head. This was something that Draco now used to blackmail Ali into doing things he didn’t want to do since he knew his father would murder any boy that so much looked at Ali.
Ali sighed before calling the house-elf to take her trunk downstairs. Doing a quick once over of her royal blue bedroom she grabbed her wand before making her way down the stairs. She left to go back home today and as excited as she was to see Regulus and Remus, the knot forming in her stomach at seeing Sirius made her ill. Her confidence had grown some after talking with Narcissa about what was going on at home. Cissa assured her that Sirius was just being Sirius and not seeing the hurt he was inflicting. Ali wanted to believe her aunt's words that he would come around more when he knew that the Malfoys were not a threat. She had made sure Ali knew that she was just as good if not better than the Potter boy because she didn’t judge anyone no matter their house. Draco was livid when he found out what was happening between Sirius and Ali, blaming it all on Potter for being the snake that he feared Draco was so much. Draco had made her swear that if Harry or anyone said anything to make her upset that she would write Draco right away and he would be there in a heartbeat.
“I knew that dress would look stunning on you,” Narcissa stood as Ali entered the living room. Ali smiled at her aunt as she kissed her on the cheek. She did a little spin when Narcissa motioned her to do so causing the dark blue dress to flare out at the bottom right above her knees. Cissa had insisted she bought it even if it wasn’t something Ali would have normally worn. She had paired it with her favorite white combat boots and black tights making the little white spots on the sleeves stand out even more. Narcissa hugged Ali once more, and Ali knew she didn’t want to send her back to Grimmauld Place, but school started soon and Ali wanted to spend some more time with Regulus and get her stuff ready. “We are going to miss you so don’t forget to write, and we will see you at the train station.”
Ali nodded, hugging her aunt close before moving onto Lucius who kissed her cheek wishing her good luck at home and to write if she needed anything. Draco was last, he tried to act indifferent, but Ali knew he didn’t want her to leave. She stuck her hand out causing him to roll his eyes before pulling her into a hug. Draco had grown quite a bit the last couple of years making Ali eye level with his shoulder. “Write to me the minute something goes wrong, and I’ll be there to save you. Potter be damned.”
Ali giggled, “Of course, Dray. Behave for mother, and make sure if you see our friends that you tell them I’ll see them soon.”
Ali grabbed her trunk while Lucius called for Winks the house-elf to come apparate Ali back home. She gave her extended family one last smile before grabbing Winks's hand. They landed across the street of Grimmauld Place, Ali gave Winks a bar of chocolate out of her pocket before bidding goodbye. She walked in the door hearing noise coming from the living room and dining area. It was just after lunch so she assumed everyone was still hanging out there. She debated going straight to her room first but decided not to. She pulled her trunk behind her till she reached the dining room. There everyone was, immediately Ali wished she was back at the Manor where it was peaceful and she wasn’t getting stared at like she was right now. She pulled down the sleeves on her dress a little more not noticing how big of a mistake that was.
She saw Regulus standing in the corner, he smiled at her. Regulus was happy that Ali got to stay away for a little bit. He was able to give Sirius a piece of his mind, which happened often, without Ali overhearing. Screaming matches could be heard coming from the study more often than not after someone made rude comments about Ali or her friends. Sirius still had acted like Ali was staying with the Dark Lord himself instead of family and it had pushed Regulus to the edge more than once. Regulus knew that Remus was on the same page as him, he was over the comments from Sirius. Regulus had noticed that Harry didn’t say anything bad about her or Slytherins if Remus was present. He had taken a liking to the oldest two Weasleys and Fleur, they were nice to Ali and Fleur often defended her by saying kind things. Regulus knew that Fleur stuck out in the Weasley family, he had seen the looks some of the younger ones would give her. He felt bad for her and often tried to make sure she felt comfortable, much like he knew she did for Ali.
Ali hugged her uncle tight, she had missed the safety feeling that came from burying herself in his chest. Remus was quick to join the two, squeezing Ali to him before kissing her head. Ali quickly tucked herself back into Regulus' side. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, “How was it? Did you have fun?”
Ali smiled at him and Remus, “I did. Pansy, Blaise, and Theo stayed over after we had dinner with their families. Cissa took me shopping, twice mind you. Draco almost made the house explode with some potion he was trying to make to dye Theos hair. It was supposed to change with his mood, but instead, it ended up all over the ceiling. Aunt Cissa didn’t stop yelling at him for an hour,” She laughed at the memory of Draco’s face while his mother yelled that he had ruined her ceiling. “Um, what else?” She knew Regulus wanted to know exactly what she did. He was always interested in her life often making her tell stories from school in detail. She was never allowed to leave with just a generic ‘fine’ that some teenagers got away with. “Oh Lucius took us to Hogsmede, claiming that it was to get Cissa some sugar quills, but the number of chocolate frogs said differently. Oh, Cissa told me to tell you that she ordered me new school robes and that you needed to pick them up or she could bring them to the station.”
“You didn’t tell me you needed robes?” Regulus raised his eyebrow, surely she would have told him if she needed something like that.
“Oh I don’t, but Draco did since he grew again and Cissa said I should just get some so I have extras. I-”
“Why don’t you just brag some more,” an icy voice cut her off. Ali looked to see Sirius standing behind Harry with his hands on his shoulders. She hadn’t noticed him when she came in so she was wondering what all he had heard. She wasn’t bragging about anything. She knew the Weasley’s had financial problems, but this was her home. She was allowed to talk about things she did with her Aunts even if it was out spending an obscene amount of money.
“I-I wasn’t bragging,” Ali stuttered, “I just was telling Uncle Regulus what I-I had done.”
“Oh yeah right. You had fun, right? That’s good,” Sirius walked around the table towards Ali who naturally stepped closer to Regulus. Her uncle tensed when he saw that Ali was scared of his brother. “So why are you wearing long sleeves? It’s like 80 degrees out. You must be warm in them.”
“Sirius,” Remus’s tone was a warning. He knew what Sirius was thinking, but he had hope that Sirius knew not to do it.
Sirius ignored Remus continuing to walk towards his brother and daughter. “You decided that you wanted to match Regulus too? Spend some time with the Dark Lord the past couple of weeks?”
“Sirius you stop this instant she didn’t do anything,” Molly spoke up for the girl while pushing the other children out of the room. She tried to get Harry to leave but gave up after he insisted he stayed where he was.
“No, Molly, cause you to see Regulus was her age when he got the mark. And I’m starting to wonder if Ali doesn't have it as well. Spies the both of them. Playing the part of perfect uncle and niece. Show me your arm, Alianova.”
Ali stayed where she was, not moving an inch. She felt her breath pick up as Sirius walked closer. “Ali, I said show me your arm.” She shook her head no. She didn’t have anything to hide, but she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of listening to him. He hadn’t earned her trust or respect at this point. Sirius reached out and grabbed Ali’s arm. That was when all Hell broke out.
Sirius had enough time to push her sleeve up before he was shoved back by Regulus. Ali cried out when Sirius’s nails dug into her skin hard enough to bleed. Remus grabbed Sirius, pulling him back while he stared in shock at Ali who had tears streaming down her cheek staring at him in disbelief.
Regulus lunged at Sirius only to be held back by Bill Weasley, “Stop. Stop, Regulus. Ali needs you. Go.” He lightly pushed Regulus back towards Ali. Regulus felt this heart crack in his chest when he saw that Ali sitting on the floor holding her arm to her chest. Her tears dripping down her chin as she watched Remus pace in front of Sirius who was still looking at her.
Regulus knelt beside Ali gently pulling her arm to him revealing the four scratch marks on the pale flesh. Each had drops of blood running down the sides. Regulus grabbed the tea towel off the counter-pressing it to the wound. Ali leaned into his shoulder letting her tears catch on the fabric of his shirt. She was trembling from the shock that someone who was supposed to love her could hurt her like this. She had always known of the Black Temper; it was famous really. But even when she saw her grandmother and Regulus angry, they had never hurt her. Sirius was her father; it was his job to protect her was it not? She understood that he never wanted her, she was a mistake. Ali had come to terms when that a long time ago, but for him to actively hurt her shook her to her core. Ali was focused on Regulus, but from the corner of her eye, she could see Remus shaking with rage at Sirius. Regulus cupped her cheeks in his hands wiping away her falling tears. “Are you okay?”
She numbly nodded at her uncle. “Ali, I am so sorry-”
“NO,” The venom in Ali’s voice shocked those that were in the room as she stood with Regulus’s help. “No. You don’t get to apologize. You knew what you were doing and you didn’t care! You never have. And never will. I get it okay?” Ali walked towards Sirius so she was a couple of feet in front of him, but near the stairs to make her exit if she couldn't handle it anymore. “I know that I wasn’t planned or wanted. I know that I’m not Harry Bloody Potter, but you know what I am? I’m YOUR daughter. That doesn’t matter, does it? You don’t care that it's your job to raise me and protect me and love me. You never did it. I have no memories of you. Not one. My uncles told me how good of a parent you were when I was little, but I don’t believe that anymore. Hell, if someone told me you put me in a room and left me there it would be more believable.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose letting out a sigh. She never stood up to people much, but she was sick and tired of Sirius thinking he could act like this towards her. “I used to look up to you. I never listened to the bad things people said because I thought you were good. I wanted to make you proud of me even if I never got to meet you. Then you got out. But instead of coming for your flesh and blood, you came for him,” She flung her arm in Harry’s general direction. “You were never there for me. That’s fine too. Wanna know why? Because I have people who are always there for me. People who love me unconditionally, and make me see that I am enough. Do you know who those people are? A big chunk of them is the Malfoys. I had a lot of fun staying with them, but one of my favorite parts was when Lucius told me that even if you didn’t see how great of a daughter I was that he and Regulus did. The Lucius Malfoy made ME feel better because you treat me like rubbish.”
Ali walked closer to Sirius. The only noise in the room was coming from her, and if she stopped talking a pin dropping could be heard. Regulus was stunned by her outburst but knew deep down that it was coming. Sirius had pushed her too far, and once Ali was done it was going to take a lot more than Bill Weasley to hold him back. “I have never called anyone else ‘Dad’, but now I regret it. Regulus is more of my father than you could ever be. I hope you have fun with your son.” She spat looking Sirius in the eye before turning on her heel fleeing up the stairs. Tears fell again as she shut and locked her door behind her, sliding down the other side of it. Even if what she said was true it didn’t mean that it hurt any less knowing that Sirius would never choose her.
Downstairs Regulus was fuming. He was shocked that Ali called him ‘dad’ even if he had wanted that for as long as he could remember. But the other part of him wanted to break Sirius in half. He felt the rage coming back from when he was a child. He felt the urge to kill but knew that he wouldn’t. He couldn’t think of himself, he had too much at stake. He hadn’t been able to think of himself for the last fifteen years. Sirius had done a lot of messed up things in his life, but this took the cake. Regulus forgave him a long time ago for him leaving, and for the bullying that he did to Regulus through school, but this was unforgivable. Ali was a child who didn’t understand why she wasn’t good enough or why her father was hell-bent on her being on the side with the Dark Lord when she was the furthest away from him.
Regulus stood brushing off his hands on his pants before stalking towards Sirius how a predator stalks its prey. He saw Bill and Arthur move forward a few inches more than likely ready to intervene if needed. Remus’s eyes had a little more green in them than normal probably due to the rage he was feeling and the fact that the full moon was less than a week away. It was honestly shocking that Remus hadn’t thrown Sirius into the wall yet. Regulus stopped when he was toe to toe with his brother.
“How dare you do what you just did to her! She is a child, Sirius. She is supposed to be your child,” Regulus’s voice was eerily calm when he spoke making the hairs on Remus’s neck stand from the amount of venom present. “Frankly I have no idea how she is half you. All she wanted to do was get away from all the stress that has come from living here the past couple of months. She has been a shell of herself since you came back really, but when she came through those doors I saw her coming back to herself. That couldn’t happen though, could it? Had to accuse her of having the Dark Mark, which she didn’t, but when she refused to show you because she doesn’t owe you anything you hurt her. You made her bleed. She is your daughter and you made her bleed. Do us all a favor and leave her alone. I opened this home to you and the Order because it was the right thing to do. Ali agreed that she wanted to help, but this can’t keep happening. I can’t put her at risk anymore. So leave her alone and if she sheds another tear because of you then you will leave.”
Sirius stood stunned. His younger brother hadn’t stood up for himself even when they were children. That was the most he had heard Regulus talk in his life. He felt bad that he had hurt Ali, he never meant to, but he has to protect Harry and the Order. He doesn’t trust the Malfoys and Ali had been there. How was he to know that she didn’t have the Mark? All she had to do was show her arm. Simple really. He glanced around the room as Regulus walked away not waiting for his response. Sirius knew that Regulus meant what he had said. Molly had started cleaning up the kitchen with a sad look in her eyes, while Arthur and Bill had left the room. Remus met his eyes but shook his head at him disappointed. “Come on, Harry. I need a walk.”
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Ali wasn’t sure how long she had been sitting on the floor of her room. It was quiet downstairs which was concerning, but she didn’t think much of it. Hopefully Regulus hadn’t killed Sirius, but if he did she wouldn’t blame him. She had cried herself numb. She didn’t have any tears left, her throat was scratchy from the sobs. Part of her wanted to go back to Malfoy Manor where she was safe and welcomed, but the other part of her wanted to find her uncle and have him read to her like he did when she was a child.
A knock at her door pulled her from her musings. “Al? Open the door darling. It’s just me.” Regulus’s voice came from the other side.
Very slowly Ali stood up leaning onto the table by the door for support. She turned the lock and instantly Regulus opened the door. He kissed her forehead before leading her to her bed. Ali had yet to change out of her dress, but she didn’t really care. Regulus snagged the blanket off the foot of her bed before gently pushing her down into it and covering them both with the blue and silver blanket. Ali positioned herself with her head on Regulus' shoulder. Exhaustion weighing down heavy on her. Even though it was early she could feel her eyes droop as he carded a hand through her hair. “Thank you, dad. For loving me.”
Regulus’s heart swelled and broke with those words, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before her soft snores filled the room.
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Regulus wasn’t sure how much time had passed as he stroked his niece's hair. He was mad at his brother for basically throwing away the only good thing that had ever come from the Black family. Sirius was too blinded by the past to see what was right in front of him. As children, Sirius often told Regulus that he was their family's favorite and that it bothered him, but if he knew what it was like to be less loved then how can he love Harry more than Ali? He understood that Harry was Sirius's Godson, but couldn’t he love Ali and Harry equally. If Sirius made the effort maybe Ali and the other children could even be friends. His heart ached from the emotional battle that Ali was going through right now. Even if Sirius didn’t see it, he and Remus did. Ali’s light was dimmer than before and just when she was lighting up again Sirius snuffed it out.
Carefully sliding out from under Ali and placing a pillow under her head Regulus left the room. He shut the door behind him casting a locking spell so she wouldn’t be bothered. He needed to speak with Remus first before doing anything. They needed to decide what to do about Ali. As much as Regulus wanted to spend time with her before she went back to school he didn’t want her to be this upset anymore. He walked into the study to find Remus and Nymphadora sitting near the fireplace.
“How is she?” Nymphadora blurted the question as soon as she saw her cousin. Remus had owled her after Ali had gone to her room. The older sister in her wanted to go up to Sirius and give him a piece of her mind, but she knew that it wouldn’t do any good.
“She’s asleep for now. All the fighting has exhausted her. I honestly don’t know what to do. I want her here this is her home, but if Sirius doesn’t stop acting like the brut that he is it is going to hurt her more. Speaking of Sirius, where is he? It’s quiet.” Regulus flopped down on the chair across from Remus and Nymphadora raking a hand through his hair. His worry for Ali was causing him a headache. On one hand, he wanted to send Ali to stay at the Malfoy Manor for the remainder of summer, but on the other, he wanted to hold her close and have her stay in her home where she belonged.
“Sirius left with Harry after you went upstairs. He hasn’t been home since. The Weasleys stepped out to Diagonal Ally to get the kids stuff for school.” Remus replied. He was secretly thankful that the house was mainly empty. This way at least Ali could come down if she felt like it without the chance of someone bothering her. Remus was having the same thoughts as Regulus about keeping Ali at home virus's sending her to the Manor. HE just wanted his niece happy. The hope that he had of Airius and Ali having the father/daughter relationship was gone. If only Remus could get Sirius to open his eyes to the pain he was causing to the girl, but Sirius was nothing if not stubborn.
“I think I am going to write Cissa and see if she can keep Ali for the rest of summer. If that’s what it takes for her to be happy no healthy then so be it. We can see her off at the -“
“I don’t want to leave,” Ali’s voice interrupted. “I want to stay here with you. Please don’t make me leave. I can handle it, I promise.”
Ali knew that she and regulus were going to have to talks about the fact that she called him dad, but that was a private conversation. Right now she needed to convince the adults in the room that she didn’t need to leave. She could take Sirius. Yes the words that he had said hurt her and the actions he did tonight furthered that hurt in her heart, but she was done. She didn’t owe him anything, and it was clear she knew that he didn’t want to be her father. She had meant what she said to regulus. He was her father in all the ways that counted. He loved her unconditionally, was always there for her, and protected her.
She went and sat on the couch in between Nymphadora and Remus who wrapped an arm around her pulling her close to his chest. “It might be best if you went and stayed for the rest of the summer at the Manor, Al. This isn’t good for you mentally. We all can see how drained you are.”
“No, this is my home. I can handle it. I have you all plus the older Weasleys and Fleur. You all protect me and if I need to get away for a little bit I’ll owl Blaise or Draco to go to Diagonal Ally or something. I want to spend time with you. Times are hard right now and you never know when you are going to lose someone and I would like to have as much time with each of you just in case.”
Regulus leaned forward taking Ali’s hand in his, “nothing, and I mean nothing is going to happen to us. I love you more than you could ever imagine and if you want to stay here you can.” Ali smiles brightly at that before Regukus cut her off, “but you have to tell me, Remus, or Severus, if anything happens. And you have to come out of your room. I am not having you locking yourself away again. Got it?”
Ali pounced on Regulus hugging his neck tight. She was excited to spend some more time with her family. She had meant what she said about never knowing when something was going to happen. Wizards had been disappearing all over London and she was genuinely scared something was going to happen to her loved ones. She was going to make it a point to take plenty of photos and make enough memories to last a lifetime the next couple of weeks.
Regulus held his niece tight, fighting back the tears when she whispered, “Thanks, Dad,” into his ear. He had been called a lot of things in his life, but this was one title he was going to wear proudly.
Remus’s voice interrupted the moment, “wait for a second, why are you going to owl Blaise? We have an agreement young lady no boys till your thirty!”
Ali’s giggle was music to those in the room with her, and for the first time that summer they all saw Ali smile at home the brightest she had since everyone arrived.
#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter#remus lupin#sirius black#regulus black#regulus black x niece!reader#sirius black x daughter!reader#remus lupin x niece!reader#narcissa malfoy#draco malfoy x platonic!reader#blaise zabini x reader
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Hi! I wanted to ask you if you could rewrite the Cheating Chase request a made a little time ago but with Jaden with the reader being famous just like him and the whole situation havin' an impact on internet and with their (shared) friends or you could write a part 2 for Cheating Chase request but only if it's not gonna bother you in any way...
❤Thank you!❤I LOVE YOUR WRINTTING❤
Warnings: Some naughty time is inferred in this!
Jaden’s music is pounding through his surround sound speaker system. He’s throwing another party. One of his signatures. Bryce is chanting “Shots shots shots!”
Jaden’s busy making out with his girl. He’s got her pressed against a wall.
“Wanna ditch my own party?” He murmurs into her ear.
She giggles and begins to lead his girlfriend to his bedroom. A girl bumps into his shoulder hard but he barely notices, just continues steering his girlfriend to his room.
When they’re done and getting dressed he wonders where his phone has gone. It had been in his back pocket before...
A knock on the door startles him. It’s the girl who had bumped into him earlier. At least he thinks it was. He’s really not sure. He doesn't look at anyone who isn't his girl.
“You dropped this. Bryce said you were up here.”
Jaden vaguely notes her creepy smile but quickly forgets once his phone is back and his girl calls for him.
~~~
You’re barely home from Jaden’s party when your phone begins to blow up. IT vibrates almost continually, calls and texts filling up the screen. All want you to check Jaden’s instagram.
You plop down on the couch and answer the call from Mads, your best friend.
“Have you checked!?” She shrieks, loud enough that you have to take the phone off of speaker-phone for a second.
“I’m checking now! But what can possibly be so urg-”
No. This can’t be right... it can’t... there, one of his most recent posts, theres no way.
It’s a set of nudes, captioned ‘my beautiful baby girl’ with a kissy face emoji. Except.. those aren't your nudes which means... not that you'd want your nudes posted but...
Mads, taking your silence as an answer whispers, “Y/N I am so sorry.”
You can't speak, your fingers go numb. Your phone falls from your grip and clatters as it hits the floor and bounces.
Mads is speaking but you can't hear her. Your heart feels like its beating a mile a minute.
There had to be some sort of explanation, if you just called him he would be able to clear this up. Right? Right!?
So you pick up your phone, Mads is saying that she’ll make the friend group unfollow him. You excuse yourself, hang up, and dial Jaden. It rings, and rings, and rings, Then, “Hey it’s Jaden. Hit me up later!”
You try again. And again. And again. You get his voicemail every time.
Somehow you’re all the emotions at once. You pull up his instagram, and this time your notice your name is no longer in his bio the way it had been for so long.
‘That’s it.’ You think.
You unfollow him on instagram, remove his name from your own bio, and delete all the pictures of the two of you together.
Then you go to Snapchat and un-add him. His contact gets deleted, you unfollow him on twitter and delete his face from your camera roll.
Satisfied as you can be, you fall into bed and let the tears come.
~~~
By the early afternoon of the next day the gossip is at full roar. You venture on to youtube, and right there, the first video you see is by ‘annaoop’ who is almost the most well known gossip youtube channel focusing on tiktokers.
‘Jaden Hossler cheats on Y/N L/N’ the title reads. Something within you compels you to click on it.
Her voice rings, talking about ‘tea’. She shows the censored versions of the pictures from his instagram. They’re basically just one blurred skin colored square.
“How dare he? He hasn’t commented on it at all... Y/N deleted photos of the two of them such as this one from their trip to Bondi Beach.”
The series of photos she displays make your heart clench. ‘Annaoop’ then begins to pull up the followers page on Jaden’s instagram.
She informs you and the rest of her viewers that Mads, Nessa, Thomas, Petrou, Chase Hudson, Charli, Mia, and others have unfollowed Jaden’s instagram, and sided with you.
From the way she narrates you can tell she’s on your ‘side’. Apparently, Bryce has unfollowed you and written on his Twitter that Jaden would not be making a statement until he talked to you. Except he wasn't even trying to talk to you.
Your fans are going after Jaden, and from the screenshots some are getting ruthless. Some fans have even jumped ship from Jaden to you.
And then theres the die hard Jaden fans of his that are trashing you for not being good enough to him. It had already been established that it wasn't your body because it had a tattoo that you didn't.
Your phone is still blowing up but you don't truly want to talk about it. So instead you post a statement to your instagram and twitter.
‘I haven’t been able to reach Jaden. We are no longer together because of the incident. Just because this happened does not mean I want or condone you attacking him or any of his friends and family. I love y'all and I will be okay <3 Y/N.’
No sooner than you had posted the statements, theres a loud pounding at your door. Very reluctantly, you open it.
It’s Nessa, she rushes in gushing. “Jaden’s coming here. I heard from Josh who heard from Blake, who heard from-”
“Nessa!” You interrupt, “When?”
“Well you know how bad at math I am but hypothetically, I mean technically he should be here soon!”
And as if right on cue, there’s the sound of your doorbell followed by rapid knocking by a heavier hand.
“I’ll go out the back door so he doesn't see me. Good luck, I love you! Call me if you need anything!” She gives you a quick and fleeting hug and then darts off.
He’s still pounding at your door. And having no other choice, you let him in. As soon as you do he's speaking so quickly that you can barely understand him.
“Y/Nwhyhaventyoubeenansweringmeivebeencallingandcallingandcallingyouandyouhaventansweredandisawyourannouncementthatwerebrokenup-”
“Did you also happen to see the pictures you posted on your instagram?” You cross your arms.
“Ofcoursebutisweartoyouandeverythingreally-”
“Slow down or we can’t have a conversation Jaden.”
He gives you one sharp nod and takes a few big breaths. “Do you remember at my party when I got knocked by some girl?”
You frown, “No, and I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Well, thats the thing. It was orchestrated to look inconspicuous. She must have taken my phone then because after we were alone... y’know... well she showed up. Gave me my phone claiming I dropped it and Bryce told her where to find me except he didn't. She’s been stalking me Y/N. That’s how she found my room, knew my password. You know I have more respect for women than to post their nudes. You have to believe me! She blocked you from my phone, thats why nothing went through!”
It made sense... and you should believe him but what if he was just a really good liar? So many people were involved in your relationship and now this drama. You’d always tried to keep the private details of your life well... private. But life in the spotlight often prevented that. Maybe the damage had been done. Maybe it was too late. You just didn't know.
“I need to think about it Jaden.”
#Jaden hossler#angels and demons#angels x demons#hossler#tiktok#tiktok stars#sway#sway house#jaden#Jaden x reader#Jaden hossler x reader
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because nobody wants to hear about me rambling on and on about Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller i’m doing it here. this is a really long post and I’m not even done I just got tired and need to go do my medications lol.
Starting off, quick explanation of the plot and important characters for those who don’t know
The plot itself is this: a man named Henry Jekyll had the bright idea to create some potion or something that will separate the Good part of a human, and the Bad part. With enough work, the plan was to separate them and gain control over the Bad part, and thereby destroying it.
This fucks up though, of course, and Henry creates his alter ego: Edward Hyde. Edward is creepy and cruel and easily pissed off, he kills like... seven people? Despite the fact his alter ego is quite literally evil personified and murdering people (Henry KNOWS this might I add, they share memories, it’s basically just if you injected someone with a serum that reeeally pissed them off and deleted their morals), Henry doesn’t stop there.
He continues to make more of the potion, modifying it in the hopes of controlling Edward while admitting that he finds it exhilarating to be Edward and that he doesn’t want to stop. I do believe he only stops after he realizes he can’t fix Edward or delete him.
In the end, Edward kills a bunch of people, scares the shit out of London and then ON HENRY’S WEDDING DAY, IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE, suddenly comes out (putting Henry in a lot of pain and generally making a big scene), kills someone (i think?? or someone shoots him in a non-lethal place, I don’t know), and then holds Lisa (henry’s wife) at gun point. A man named John (i think) tries to talk him down, and only when Lisa pleads for Henry to come back to her does Henry finally resurface, give John his gun (?) and convince the man to kill him. He does, Henry dies to three bullet wounds.
Overall, it’s a neat story!
There’s a woman named Lucy, who’s my favorite because she’s delightful. She’s essentially a prostitute (her wiki page thing says she “Works as a whore for money” or something along those lines) who works at a bar. She has a song where she meets Henry titled ‘Lucy Meets Jekyll,’ where Henry is (i think) drinking at the bar because in the pervious song the Board of Governors denied providing supplies and test subjects for his research. This takes place before Henry actually creates Edward.
Later, Lucy meets Edward in the song titled ‘Lucy Meets Hyde’. She starts the song off with “I know you, don’t I?” and Edward vaguely replies by telling her “After tonight you will never forget me.” Edward also has a line where he sings “A toast to the night. A toast to... Romance! To those unafraid of taking... a chance,” which is him repeating what Lucy says in Lucy Meets Jekyll (which I think is super neat). When she asks his name (after he goes on this rant about how he’s her guardian angel, her guide to salvation, whatever) he goes “...Hyde... Edward. ...Hyde,” and both Hyde’s are said in this really creepy, whispery kinda voice but he says Edward so much clearer and I think that’s funny.
Also if I could just choose my name as fast as he did that’d be great because his name crisis lasted like two seconds and mine has lasted 4 years uwu
Anyawys, Lucy has this other song about nobody knowing who she is (her voice is pretty and I love listening to it but the song kinda makes me zone out so Im missing some context lol) and then the song ends with Edward showing up going, “...I know who you are,” and she replies “Oh, for a moment I thought you were someone else,” and Edward pauses then goes, “...For a moment, it almost was,” and that makes me UNREASONABLY happy. Like I don’t have a reason I just get very pleased when I hear those lines.
Also anybody and everybody tells Lisa not to go through with her marriage to Henry, mostly because she’s like apparently the prettiest woman in town and every man wants to marry her but also because Henry is a doctor, which is apparently a bad thing or something?? ( "Lisa's marrying a Doctor, instead of an earl! Poor girl!” ) and when I was listening to the playlist in full trying to pay attention I kept being like “LISTEN TO THEM- PLEASE, YOU’RE GONNA GET TRAUMATIZED ON YOUR WEDDING DAY!” so that’s fun
Also I don’t think I said this: I didn’t watch the musical. I found it on spotify and didn’t have the braincells to actually watch it, so I’m missing the context from in between songs, but i’ve got most of the plot as far as I know.
oh- the song “His Work and Nothing More,” makes me very depressed because it’s a song about some people (i forget who exactly) singing about how Henry is obsessed with his work and he doesn’t hang out with people anymore.
the song “The Engagement Party” has a line where John finally sees Henry show up (because he was late) and goes “Henry, at last! What could possibly be more important than your own engagement party?” and he sounds so normal and then the musical gets all dramatic and Henry sings about being close to a breakthrough. I don’t know why this line pleases me so much but it does :>
Oh and Confrontation? a masterpiece. Anybody who’s done it and done it well is amazing that’s ONE PERSON singing TWO PEOPLE in a fast paced song like that. Not only do they have to sing it all in one take but they also have to switch the physical look and position between the characters and it’s amazing.
and if you didn’t know, that tiktok audio “I live inside you forever! With Satan himself by my side!” is from this song, and my friend (who doesn’t give a SHIT about Jekyll & Hyde and always cuts me off before I start rambling for hours because xis attention span is buckets) thinks it’s amazing and belts it out with me. It’s the only song from the entire musical xe will listen to.
#henry jekyll#edward hyde#jekyll and hyde#jekyll & hyde#Jekyll & Hyde: The Gothic Musical Thriller#musicals#infodump#infodumping#i love jekyll and hyde so much#it's so neat!#yes this interest started in monster high#stop judging me :'D
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Inquiry
GIF from plutoandpersephone
Pairing: Dr. Frederick Chilton x Reader
Author’s Note: In vain I have struggled …with the formatting of this story. Did I use html? Yes. Does it show up correctly when I preview it? Yes. Will it show up correctly when it’s posted? Knowing this website, probably not. I’m posting despite the (possibly) faulty formatting because I will snap like a stale rubber band if I have to fiddle around with it for a minute longer. That said, I hope you enjoy because this was fun to write (but not to format)
Frederick Chilton’s heart was beating far too quickly for something as mundane as writing an email. Normally, he could compose a message in a matter of minutes with little concern for how the recipient would react to his autocratic demands.
This time, however, you were on the receiving end.
And Frederick deeply cared what you thought.
It would have been easier if this was for a work-related matter. As the hospital administrator, Frederick often sent you updates about policy changes or questions regarding your patients. He wrote these emails effortlessly, addressing you like any other member of his staff while ignoring how his heart fluttered whenever your name appeared in his inbox. With the small exception of inquiries about your weekend (something Frederick never did with other employees), his correspondence to you remained strictly professional.
Until now.
It had taken months, but Frederick finally worked up the nerve to ask you on a date. It was non-traditional, asking someone out via email, but Frederick considered asking over the phone or in-person too risky; the chance of rejection was already high, he didn’t need to add to it by stumbling over his words or blushing in your presence like an imbecile. An email allowed Frederick time to organize his thoughts and select the right words to convey just how much you meant to him.
Writing may have been the safest medium, but it wasn’t the fastest. Fifteen minutes had elapsed and Frederick was still struggling with the salutation: ‘My dearest’ seemed too intimate, ‘Good afternoon’ too formal, ‘Ciao’ too pretentious, ‘Ahoy’ too …nautical.
Frederick fiddled with his pen and leaned back in his chair, refusing to acknowledge that he was out of his depth. His love life was preternaturally dormant, yes, but he was a man of science, not to mention a patron of the arts -he could write a simple email. He was just overthinking it, attaching too much significance to every word as if selecting the wrong one would result in rejection.
Sighing, Frederick left his desk to fetch some alcohol, a time-honoured cure for writer’s block. As he poured the amber liquid from the decanter, Frederick reassured himself of his literary prowess: he’d written a myriad of scientific articles, many of which won awards, and there was growing interest in a manuscript he was working on about the Chesapeake Ripper.
He sat back down at his desk with bolstered confidence and a glass of brandy. The opening still eluded him but, rather than dwell on it further, Frederick used a placeholder and began to work on the body of the email.
As he wrote, Frederick likened himself to a suitor in a Jane Austen novel confessing his fervent desire to his beloved. He only hoped that his prose would convince you to give him a chance since, considering the weather in Baltimore, he wouldn’t be strutting out of a lake anytime soon.
Inspired by this little reverie, Frederick soon finished. He took another sip of brandy before looking over what he had written.
To:
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Inquiry
[Insert salutation]
Ever since we met, I have ardently admired you. Your warmth, beauty, and quick wit are just some of the ways you brighten my day whenever I am graced with your presence. Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner?
I await your reply with hopeful anticipation.
Yours,
Frederick
Satisfied, Frederick turned his attention to the greeting, lightly tapping his pen against his lips as he thought. It took a few moments, but Frederick finally settled on ‘Dear’, a classic opening. After switching out the salutation placeholder for ‘Dear’ followed by your name, Frederick read over the email one last time. He took a large drink of brandy before selecting your email address and pressing send.
Contrary to his belief, the beating in his chest didn’t slow once the email was dispatched. What if you rejected him? How would he bear to see you at work every day? Worse, what if you never responded, leaving him to perpetually wonder whether it was a silent rejection or a lost email?
The familiar ping of an email notification snapped Frederick out of his self-made purgatory. He took a few deep breaths, a half-hearted attempt to quell his rapid heartbeat, as he wondered whether it was a good sign that you responded so quickly. His eyes flicked to his inbox: there, sitting atop of messages from psychiatry journals and irksome colleagues, was a reply.
Only it wasn’t from you.
Frederick’s brow furrowed. Why was a nurse replying to the email he sent you? It didn’t take long after opening the email to realize his mistake: choosing the hospital’s listserv rather than your email address, effectively sending out his declaration of love to the entire hospital. He let out an almost inaudible whimper, knowing it was too late to retract the message.
Apparently, he could control the content of the message, but not its audience.
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Inquiry
Ask them out in-person, you insecure little weenie!
Frederick hastily deleted the email, but two more popped up in its place like some sort of electronic hydra. It didn't take long for the wolves to respond, and Frederick could only stare at the screen in horror as the replies began pouring in. He swore he could hear laughter in the hallway and began debating whether he should move out of the country or just the state. Depending on how widespread knowledge of his blunder became it may even be wise to leave the continent. Vienna was supposed to be nice this time of year.
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Inquiry
Girl, you can do better!
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Please remove me from this list. Thanks
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
EVERYONE STOP REPLYING ALL!
Sent from my iPhone
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
‘Ardently’? Who does Chilton think he is, Mr. Darcy?
Gillian Coverly, M.D.
Psychiatry Resident, BSHCI
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
More like Mr. Collins, am I right? LOL
Jonas Dhavernas
Security Services | 555-3193 ext. 0315
Frederick harrumphed (he was definitely not a Mr. Collins) and made a mental note to schedule those two for the night shift for the foreseeable future. However, his indignation quickly gave way to woe as he continued to scroll through the other emails in his inbox.
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
lol desperate much
Luis Torres, PhD
Director of Forensic Psychiatry
(Tel.) 555-3193 ext. 0583 | (Cell) 555-2391 | (Fax) 555-8942
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
I’d like to remind everyone that this listserv is for work-related emails only.
Please be professional.
Ralph Chlumsky, Patient Care Manager
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
SERIOUSLY STOP SENDING EMAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sent from my iPhone
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
As a member of HR, I would like to remind you that you are not obligated to say yes to a date just because Dr. Chilton is your superior.
Please let me know if you would like to file a complaint against him for harassment
Sincerely,
Judith Mulrooney
Senior Human Resources Manager
(Tel.) 555-3193 ext. 3598
Nothing is impossible. The word itself says ‘I’M POSSIBLE!’ – Audrey Hepburn
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Can everyone please stop replying all? Our servers can’t handle the load and might crash if this continues.
Thanks,
Your friendly neighborhood IT Department
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Hi, can anyone give me a lift to work tomorrow? I’m in Federal Hill
From: ellen.ostrowski @bshci.com
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Everyone please stop replying all! It’s not that hard, and IT said our server will crash if we keep on doing it!
Warmest regards,
Ellen Ostrowski
Administrative Assistant for Dr. Bryan Dancy
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Ellen, your “everyone stop replying all message” was also a reply all!
Ugh, I work with IDIOTS!
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
Don’t get all high and mighty with me, Shawna, you also used reply all! Frankly, your use of reply all when the server is unstable is just what I’d expect from a lunch thief.
Warmest regards,
Ellen Ostrowski
Administrative Assistant for Dr. Bryan Dancy
From: [email protected]
Date: Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT STEAL YOUR LUNCH!
A groan escaped Frederick’s lips. How could this have happened? He wasn’t a tech genius, but he kept au courant with the latest gadgets and even implemented smart technology throughout his house. Of course, there had been small mishaps in the past, like when his iPhone autocorrected his last name to ‘Chicken’ and he couldn’t stop it, but nothing of this magnitude. As much as he wanted to blame his snarky colleagues for his misery, he had only himself to blame.
His iPhone was right: he was a chicken.
Frederick was in the middle of researching jobs in Austria, the dramatic part of his brain having overpowered the rational part, when your name appeared in his inbox. His eyes flicked to the now empty glass of brandy on his right before clicking on your reply.
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Inquiry
I would love to, Frederick. How about Friday?
-Your Elizabeth Bennet
P.S. Judith, no need to get HR involved
Frederick blinked, not quite believing it. Despite his cowardice, and the mortification which ensued, you’d said yes. A smile slowly spread across his face, unaffected by the multitude of emails flooding his inbox in reaction to your answer.
He was still smiling when the hospital’s servers crashed a few moments later.
Tag list: @madpanda75 @obsessionprofessional @madkingcrowley @im-like-reallythirsty @burningg-red @nikkijmorgan @misssirenlove @zoeykaytesmom @mommakat32 @thatesqcrush @southern-magnolia @evee87
#frederick chilton x reader#dr frederick chilton x reader#chilton x reader#frederick chilton#dr frederick chilton#hannibal
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In Theory
Work 1 in The Pen and the Sword aka. my jedi and academics AU
A stressed post-graduate anthropology researcher from Coruscant University enters the Jedi Archives for the first time and is promptly taken under the wing of one Master Archivist Jocasta Nu.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/32355310
—
Master Jocasta Nu felt the visitor before she saw them. Stress and a frenetic energy radiated through the force tangled with the unique threads of emotion and colour that made up their signature.
Closing the book in front of her with a soft thud, mindful of its frayed edges, she appraised the blue nautolan hurrying towards her. Their worn brown coat was unbuttoned and struggling to stay onto their shoulders, saved by the strap of the bag hanging off one side which the nautolan had one arm wrapped around. Apparently, the bag’s tie had lost the battle against the tide of flimsy and datapads making the simple bag bulge obscenely.
Ah.
A scholar.
Like the many before them, they had come to Master Nu’s beloved archives in hope of finding salvation in its hallowed stacks. With her guidance, they always did and more often than not, they would return again. And again.
However, this scholar was not one that Master Nu had seen before and as they glanced wide-eyed at the towering shelves, shying away from passing Jedi, she surmised that the Jedi archives were unfamiliar to them also.
They reached her desk out of breath.
“I need books on Kante martial arts and history. Do you have books on Kante? If it has historical martial arts then that would be incredible but I’m setting the bar low. Really, the bar is non-existent. Should I even be setting a bar I don’t know- do you know what the Kante are? Were? They’re extinct”
“Young one, breathe.” Master Nu said, lifting her hand to interrupt the rush of words. Her brow softened in sympathy, “How about you start from the beginning and tell me what your thesis is and then we’ll go about finding resources.”
She signalled to one of the Padawans stacking holopads nearby for them to take over monitoring the main desk and led Tema to one of the many sunlit alcoves tucked between the buttresses.
Settling on a cushion across the low table from the sleep deprived nautolan, Master Nu pulled out her well-worn datapad, ready to formulate a list of texts to recommend for this student’s project. She had gathered quite the collection of such lists over the years and took great pride in curating them. Often, she would continue to add to them in her spare time so that when the person they had been made for returned, it was waiting and ready. And, if Master Nu happened to enjoy the thrill of a hunt for obscure references through her own archives every now and again, that was her own business.
Stylus in hand, she was ready to begin.
“You mentioned martial arts?”
“Right. Yes. I’m studying the fighting style of the Kante people which they used to reclaim their lands 7000 years ago after it was conquered in the Chandrillan Divide. The politics of the reclamation itself have been documented to death but there’s kriff all discussing how they actually fought,”
Master Nu hummed sympathetically, listening as a classic university post-graduate research tragedy poured out in all its glory. The purple shadows smeared under Tema’s dark eyes suggested that more than one night had been lost to this.
It was a credit to her Jedi training and skill as an archivist that Master Nu could write notes, elegant script flitting smoothly across the datapad without misspelling a single title or name, while offering comforting hums and interjecting words of encouragement where Tema faltered.
“So now I need to piece it together myself in order to build a theory on how the Kante people approached battlefield strategy,” Tema finished, fidgeting with their bag strap.
Setting her stylus down, Master Nu surveyed the drafted list with a critical eye. It was a daunting selection. She weighed the situation in her mind and carefully turned the datapad off, placing it down with a muted click of metal on the polished stone table.
“That’s quite the task you’ve got” Master Nu said, “more than an Honours project scope covers.”
She loathed to discourage any scholar but there were limits to the workload that could be shouldered and she had a strict honesty policy. With all her Jedi compassion and experience ad Head Archivist, Master Nu knew how to recognise when a student needed guidance in whittling down their research focus to a reasonable magnitude.
“I know,” Tema sighed, shoulders sagging, “I know but my project topic has already been approved by my supervisor.”
“Dear, your project as it stands is enough to satisfy a PhD and beyond. I can tell you are passionate about it but it’d be a tragedy for you to fail because you tried to complete years’ worth of work in the 10 months you have.”
The blue nautolan wilted a little, head tails curling.
“I don’t see what choice I have. I can’t form a thesis on the merits of Kante strategy without knowing how it worked at the individual level,” they said, resignation colouring their force signature grey with worry.
Master Nu paused, and after a moment spoke.
“Have you considered centring your project on the martial arts itself? At the individual level, as you say. Leaving the rest aside to focus on that should technically be within your project topic.”
Tema blinked, “That’s…that would work. Yes.”
Master Nu watched as they turned the idea over, considering how to approach it.
“Yes. That would make it more of a research-and-reconstruction project. A literature review with practical application.”
They gave a wry smile, “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
Some of the frazzled emotion of their presence eased and a few threads of humour sparked in its wake.
“I could have saved myself from being sick from worry in the University ‘freshers yesterday.”
They flushed a little darker at that admission and Master Nu suppressed what would have been a rather unprofessional snort of amusement as she clicked the datapad back on. Ah, younglings. They never changed.
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, dear. That amount of stress isn’t conducive to clarity of mind, I’d wager,” Master Nu soothed, deleting a few items from the list with a satisfied air, “You’re hardly the first person’s I’ve known to have an adverse reaction to academic stress. Now, I do believe this list is ready.”
Rising with more grace than her age suggested she was capable of, she smoothed the creases in her cream and straw-gold robes and led the way into the maze of columns and shelves. Tema followed a step behind in a manner that to any observers bore remarkable resemblance to a duckling following its mother – if ducklings were six-and-a-half feet tall, that is.
“Somehow I find it hard to imagine a Jedi getting sick from assignments,” they mused absentmindedly, tipping their head to catch some of the book titles they passed, “all this information – it’d be hard to fail.”
Master Nu chuckled at that, passing through an archway into a side corridor.
“I’m afraid it can happen to anyone. One of my agemates routinely emptied his stomach at the prospect of examinations – that one, in fact,” she said, gesturing to one of the bronze busts lining the hall. The metallic features gave the human man depicted a severe expression. In Master Nu’s opinion, it was rather true to life even if the beard was far to neatly sculpted.
“The poor man. Perfection was as much his vice as his virtue.”
She smiled fondly, crows’ feet crinkling with nostalgia at sharing this particular story – at sharing the humanity of someone so proud and distant both in life and artistic rendition.
Tema faltered and the markings on their head tails blanched light blue.
“Oh, uh, my condolences.”
“Hmm?” Master Nu turned to them, “Oh no, he’s not dead. He’s retired.”
“Oh,”
They blinked, nonplussed.
“This way, dear”
The pair continued on their winding path. Master Nu, frequently gesturing to some architectural feature or other with her datapad, began to explain how the Jedi Archival system worked, pausing every now and then to pull a tome from the shelves.
“It is what many have described as ‘archaic’,” she said, stepping deftly onto the fourth rung of a sliding ladder attached to one of the shelves to reach her next target, “but no one—and I mean no one—has said it is an ineffective system.
“At least not in my earshot,” she said with a laugh, pulling the volume from its place and passing it down to Tema. The rumours the initiates (and fully-grown Knights) liked to spread about Master Nu’s draconian defence of the archives may not be entirely accurate but were taken by most as a warning to avoid slandering the archive in her presence. She knew Tholme liked to stir the pot and recount tales of her lightsabre prowess to the initiates, no matter that the stories were thirty years out-of-date.
“That being said, it can take some getting used to. The Padawans and Knight Archivists are always around and willing to retrieve sources for our visitors.”
Master Nu dismounted from the ladder, blew dust from her sleeve, and turned a critical eye on to the stack of books and datapads in Tema’s arms that had been steadily growing in size. The scholar looked strong enough to take a couple more, taking into account that their bulging bag would not fit anything more inside.
“That’s the last one from this aisle.”
She clicked her tongue and marked a check on her list next to the sources they were borrowing. They were all copies, of course, or volumes easily enough to source a replacement that their loss wouldn’t be abhorrent. Nonetheless, clean records made maintaining the collection less stressful on her soul.
On that note, Master Nu was pleased to feel that Tema was no longer pouring stress into the force like an anxious firehose. And—
She stilled, tilting her head as a familiar presence tickled the edges of her senses.
“Master Nu?” Tema asked, noticing her change in manner.
“Nothing to worry about,”
She once again took the lead. Down the aisle, then one aisle to the left and as they rounded the corner Master Nu smiled at the sight before her.
A little blue and beige figure was hunched over a book resting on the floor, absentmindedly gnawing on her Padawan silka beads and completely oblivious to the world around her.
“Padawan Secura! Why am I not surprised?” Master Nu called lightly and the twi’lek girl jerked, breaking from her literature-induced reverie to scramble to her feet.
“I’m not skipping sabre class again. I swear!”
Had it been any other Padawan of Aayla’s age group, Master Nu would think that emphatic declaration of innocence meant the Padawan in question was skipping class. Skywalker came to mind as a repeat offender of that variety.
Only question was that Junior Padawan sabre classes were always on Taungsday afternoons—this afternoon—and had been since before Master Nu was a crecheling. She hummed, unconvinced.
“Knight Kenobi is doing catch-up lessons this week and he said my forms were good enough to skip.”
That explained it. It seemed only yesterday that he’d been roaming the archives as a padawan himself, tearing through histories of the planets he’d visited at Qui-Gon’s side with single-minded focus. Shame that his lineage had picked him up before her own could. He would have made a fantastic archivist despite his record of being convinced to scale the bookshelves whenever Vos got temple fever.
Well, at least Aayla’s fencing education was in good hands.
Master Nu beamed at Aayla, “Then good work padawan and, as you are free, would you like to join us in gathering sources for Scholar Induri here?”
Aayla brightened, “Absolutely!”
And then, remembering her diplomacy training, bowed to Tema, setting her Padawan beads swinging. “Nice you meet you, Scholar.”
She scooped up the book she had been reading and as she put it back in its slot, Master Nu glimpsed the title.
“Reading Bastilla Shan again are we Padawan?”
The padawan blushed, fiddled with her tunic and handily dodged the teasing with a question of her own, “What are we looking for, Master?”
“See for yourself, young one,” Master Nu passed over the datapad, pointing to the highlighted entries.
Aayla squinted at the handwriting for a second before passing the pad back and running away down the aisle, one hand skimming the shelf labels. Padawans were lovely to have around and, watching Aayla slide 4 meters down a ladder and return to them with a grin plastered across her face, Master Nu wondered if she should take another student. Or, better yet, invite her former Padawans around for tea to see if more Grandpadawans would be joining the lineage soon.
“Thank you, dear,” she gave Aayla a pat on the head, “I’ll leave you to your reading. Just don’t forget to remind your Master that he needs to renew the materials he borrowed last month.”
Then, she turned to Tema who hadn’t made so much as a peep the past five minutes, seemingly satisfied to observe the interaction.
“Let’s get these checked out so you can get to reading them.”
Back to the main desk, the archivist and scholar wandered, and a minute later there was a new name entered into the borrowing database.
“Again, thank you for everything, Master Nu” Tema said, gathering the stack back into their arms. They were a little overwhelmed but they were smiling.
“Dear, it’s no trouble. One last thing, are you planning on enlisting someone practised in martial forms in your project? Or were you aiming for a more theoretical illustration of your findings?”
Tema cast their eyes to one side and shifted their weight.
“Ideally, yes, but I have no idea where to find someone like that so…theoretical?”
They trailed off.
“Good. I’m free to ask around here, then,” Master Nu said, tugging Tema’s bag strap so it was in less immediate danger of falling of their shoulder.
“If you need any help at all, don’t hesitate to send me a message or drop by. My archive is always open,”
At that, she tucked a slip of flimsy with her com code underneath the top datapad in the stack and gave Tema a parting pat on the cheek. With hope in their step, the scholar passed back out the archive doors, into the sunlight of the hall beyond.
Content, Master Nu smiled and watched them go.
“Now,” she mused to herself, opening the roster of temple-bound jedi and beginning to peruse the list, “who to ask…”
Her thoughts turned to the bronze bust of a man whose devotion to esoteric research was only outmatched by his skill with a blade.
His legacy…
Her eyes caught on a name. Yes, that would do very nicely indeed.
In the interest of vetting the source she intended to recommend, Master Nu made a mental note to attend next week’s exhibition tournament.
#jedi#jedi culture#fic#my writing#jedi and academics#the pen and the sword#jocasta nu#repost#star wars
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Duskwood - thoughts, observations and summaries - Part 1.
It is likely that there are already people who did this, but I would like to point out some things that I ended up putting aside as the episodes went on, but that I realized when I was reading the prints I took or even when I was playing for hundredth time. Unfortunately I'm not going to put the prints here as they are not in English, so it doesn't help much. And maybe, most of the things I write are obvious, or that everyone already knows, but I would like to write something to have some of my thoughts on some. (or just to have a summary for when chapter 8 comes and I get lost)
(again sorry if it have English errors or something is confusing, English is not my first language @_@)
WARNING: This post will talk about Duskwood events, so you better play before you read! Also, this post is really big, so you might end up getting bored. YOU'VE BEEN ADVISED
1 - Thomas received our number on the second day of Hannah's disappearance, where he himself said he received the night. He immediately spoke to all his friends about the number and then they were arguing for a long time, until finally after thinking hard, the next day, Thomas decides to contact the MC (And of course, there is the fact that the message is gone.)
2 - Thomas tells us that he tried to call Hannah when he received the MC number, someone answered the call, but nobody said anything.
3 - Thomas has a brother, and that is something I always forget. I suppose he is a younger brother? Maybe someone who's not old enough to drive or idk.
4 - Richy tries to fit in with the MC, which is apparently an unusual behavior, since Cleo was incredulous at what he was doing.
5 - Jake acted very cold the first time we talked to him. But I don't remember exactly when it changed ... I think I should see it on the prints and mention it later.
6 - Jake probably follows the philosophy "The ends justify the means", since he does anything, no matter the consequence, as long as he gets to where he wants to go. (In fact, he literally says that the ends justify the means xD)
7 - We have to hack Hannah's cloud because Jake can't do everything, and he says he's busy following other clues, but what are those? I don't remember him commenting on what clues he's following, well maybe I'll find out by looking at the prints of future chapters.
8 - Jake says that we should decrypt the cloud, and clearly decrypting is not a candy crush game with cubes, but I would say that in "real life" (as much as I have researched about decryption, I didn’t find anything that could help me a lot to understand how it works) you use some program that Jake sent you, you take encrypted files that have several strange letters and put them in this program, which happens to be a little slow, so to pass the time you decide to play Candy Crush. Which is why it takes so long before you can send an unencrypted file to Jake.
9 - Cleo adds us before going to work.
10 - Thomas comes back some time later, I would say it could be half an hour after he sent the message saying he had to get his brother.
11 - On the day of Hannah's disappearance, Jake put all of her friends in a group and talked about the situation. By the time Jake did that, Thomas was on his cell phone, so he saw it right away.
12 - We know that Jake somehow witnessed the kidnapping, but how? How did he see if he didn't even meet Hannah in person?
13 - Richy's house is 5 minutes from Hannah's.
14 - Cleo and Richy have a conversation that we can read. And Cleo asked Richy where all the sympathy had come from (probably about him wanting to put the MC in the group) Apparently before he didn't want Thomas to contact the number.
15 - Richy assumes that Hannah has had enough time to write a single message. If we put him as one of the suspects, as he is being at the moment, then was it he who gave Hannah the chance to send a message? Or was it Richy who sent it from Hannah's cell phone? But…. I don't know ... none of those things really make sense.
Unless Hannah managed to get her cell phone while Richy was away, and then sent the message, Richy soon afterwards arrives and sees what Hannah has done, takes her cell phone and deletes the message. (And answer the phone, but say nothing)
(Or we can also assume that it was Jake who sent our number on Hannah's cell phone ... but that doesn't fit much for some things in the future, I'll explain later)
16 - Richy thinks that inevitably, if the MC is guilty it will end up escaping something.
17 - We were able to decrypt the first photo, that if I'm right, we are decrypting newer photos to older ones? But that is not a very important detail, I think. We sent the photo to Jake and he asks if we had found this photo in Hannah's cloud. But why? Isn't it obvious that it was from Hannah's cloud? Wasn't that just our only job? Decrypt and send whatever you can to Jake ??? If we say we don't know what exactly to look for, Jake says he doesn't know either. So we're kind of literally in the dark! We have no idea what we have to find and neither does he know. But he says that it is still for us to continue to send what we find, because something can be more relevant if we look in more detail.
(Okay, the next one isn't so much what I thought, but the conversation between Jake and MC, because I love the interactions that it is possible to do with Jake and I couldn't leave it out. * ^ _ ^ *)
18 - Jake wishes us good luck, but now (I think only for premium) you can say you want to talk to him. Jake then looks confused and asks what we wanted to talk about, and we can say we want to talk about him. He seems to be even more confused about why we want to talk about him. I don't remember the other options or if he says the same thing it doesn't matter what we answer, but if we say that we find him interesting he says that "You know I'm not going to tell you anything about me, right?" (Sure, of course Jake, for sure everyone believes that) if we keep insisting, he ends up giving in and says that we can ask only one question. We can ask: I think between his hair color, if he lives in the city or country, or what programs does he use to hack?
His hair color is black, if I'm not mistaken he says he lives in the city and the last question I don't know the answer to.
He asks why we wanted to know (in the case of hair, I don't know about the others, but he probably asks the same thing). I think that regardless of what we answer, he says he doesn't believe in what he just did, because he shouldn't say anything about himself. (That is, this is where we can start to make Jake's walls start to fall and we can get closer to him :) ) He also says that hiding his identity is essential and asks if we are happy now. If we say yes and talk to ask a question, he gets more confused and says "You didn't want to talk to me, did you?" Regardless of what we talk about, he asks us how the weather is. We can say between: What a boring question / It's raining / Very well, I would say. (I think those were the questions).
He then admits that it was not the most interesting topic, but we can say that it remains interesting nonetheless. He so says he hasn't had a conversation in a long time... (oh, I feel you Jake, I don't know how to talk to people either, but look, you're talking to me :) even though you don't really exist ;_;) He then asks if we were stuck on an island, what would we most like to have. I said that I would like to have books, and he says "hmm" (but if I'm not mistaken he says that for everything we answer) we can ask him what he would like to have, and he says he would choose his computer, but then he tells us to forget what he said and says he has more to do, and asks if everything was clear now.
19 - We can ask him if he doesn't ask himself who we are. And this point I find interesting. He says "You play a key role in all this mess. Why do you suddenly appear in such mysterious circumstances? What do you really have to do with all of this? Obviously, I wonder who you are. I already told you something about me again ... I'm going to have to go now. Otherwise, I will end up saying my name or worse. " This means that he would not have been the one who sent our number by Hannah's cell phone because he doesn't know who the MC is. There is less that he is lying very well, but I think not.
20 - Thomas asks if we have time to talk to him, and then says that in a way MC is one of them now. So he says he will put pictures of Hannah on his profile so that we can try to remember her in some way.
21 - Did we find a picture of a bridge? That's probably in the forest?
22 - Jessy then contacts us saying that she wants to get to know us better? Is it just me who found this strange and uncomfortable?
23 - Even though she never spoke to us and left the group, she says that MC is part of the group now. And she decides to talk to us in the middle of her work.
24 - We found out that Jessy works with Richy.
25 - She keeps trying to get to know MC more, which made me very uncomfortable because I really didn't want to talk to her and even then she kept talking to MC.
26 - So we got to see one more conversation, but this time it's between Thomas and Cleo, where Thomas says that he put some pictures for the MC to see, and said that it seemed strange, and said that there was nothing strange about the MC's behavior. So Cleo tells Thomas that then he cannot draw a conclusion about what role we (MC) play. Thomas then said goodbye and they went offline.
27 - Jessy talks to the MC again, nothing interesting that is worth mentioning.
28 - We found a photo of a cat in Hannah's cloud
29 - Thomas sends a message again, now asking if we recognize Hannah, replying that we really don't know her, he says "oh, yeah, it's okay" and goes offline.
30 - Jake answers us and we start talking about our findings. He says he will try to extract information from the photos.
31 - He asks for time to be able to analyze it and says he has an advantage for us, and sends a cell phone number. He says the police are very focused on Thomas and that we should be focusing on someone else. If we ask why we should do this, he replies, "As I said before, you piqued my interest. That's all you need to know at the moment." Then he tells us to add the number. And as soon as we added it, we found out the number was from Dan.
32 - Dan gets worried and says several no, and asks who sent us after him. You can choose from a few people to say who sent you there, but I think regardless of who you choose, he will say the same: "What? Fuck it. I don't care. Damn them. And you leave me alone." And then it goes offline.
33 - If you choose Jessy, he will ask her why she gave his number to the MC, and she says that she didn't, so he says that the MC is lying and that someone gave his number. Jessy also says that if he wants people to stop seeing him as a suspect, he just has to stop acting like one.
34 - We got a call. Someone threatening us.
35 - We contacted Jake and talked about what happened. Jake asks what the kidnapper said, and we can say "That I should stay out of other people's business." Jake asks what he looked like, and we can say he looked like a maniac.
36 - If we say that we had better follow the kidnapper's advice, Jake says that we shouldn't do that, and that there was nothing to worry about. And that we could consider that connection as something positive, because that meant the kidnapper was coming out of hiding, and that would make him vulnerable. And that he is probably concerned about the MC being in the investigation. Jake also says that we are a drag on the kidnapper, and that the MC can't trust anyone in the group. He also said that he was right about the MC and that we are going to save Hannah.
37 - Jessy calls us and other people in the group saying they found a body. She creates a group and adds us, Dan, Cleo and Richy.
38 - Jessy and Cleo argue.
39 - Cleo says she will tell Lilly about the body.
40 - And then in a way we kind of obliged to tell Thomas about the body.
41 - When we talk about the body found, Thomas immediately goes offline.
42 - We tell the group this.
43 - If we tell the group that we should have waited to tell Thomas, Richy says that MC would not say that if knew how much gossip is spreading around the city.
44 - Dan asks us what we think about Thomas's suspicious actions.
45 - Richy asks what we do now and Cleo replies that the only way was to wait.
46 - Everyone goes offline and after a while Jake sends a message saying that he has something new, that a corpse had been found. But he was talking about the same corpse that we discovered by the group, that is, we had important information even before him.
47 - He is impressed with how we got the information before him and how MC already seems to be part of the group.
48 - Then he asks if we got the picture of the cat in Hannah's cloud. (again, isn't that obvious??? This is our mission! Decrypt Hannah's cloud photos and files !!! Why do you keep asking that Jake ??)
49 - If we ask if there is something wrong to Jake, he just replies "Never mind. It's okay." And then it goes offline.
50 - We decrypt what appears to be a medical prescription, but which is in a terrible resolution. Jake says he will try to fix the image better and goes offline.
51 - Jessy says that Cleo invaded the junkyard
52 - Jessy says that the MC should make Cleo tell Richy what she did.
53 - Cleo says he needs to talk to us. She says she can tell us a little bit about Hannah.
54 - If we ask if Hannah has siblings, Cleo replies that Lilly is her younger sister, and asks if we didn't know that until now. If we say, "I meant besides Lilly". Cleo replies that Lilly is Hannah's only sibling.
55 - If we ask Cleo if it was possible that Hannah simply ran away, Cleo replies that there was no reason for her to do that since Hannah's life was starting to go well. She had a great family, an amazing boyfriend and was happy with her career.
56 - If we say that maybe things were happening that she didn't know, Cleo replies that she knows that everyone has secrets, but having such a terrible secret and having to escape Duskwood without a trace, she would know that. She also comments on the fact that the Hacker saw the hijacking.
57 - If we ask Cleo if she thinks the kidnapper could be someone in the group, she says she doesn't believe it is anyone of them.
58 - When asked if Hannah had any enemies, Cleo replies that she was not sure, and that everyone loved Hannah.
59 - At that moment we can question Cleo or not for the invasion of the junkyard. If we don't say anything, she just says that she has to do some things and that she can't sit and wait.
60 - If we ask her plan, she says she'll ask for downtown and maybe know if someone found Hannah before she disappeared. She spoke the names of three of the biggest gossips in the city: Mrs. Walter, owner of the hotel. Mrs. Sully, the queen of gossip and Phil Hawkins, owner of Aurora bar.
61 - She says the bar hasn't opened yet, but we can suggest to Cleo who she should talk to first. And then she says she'll talk to us later.
62 - We found a picture of Hannah apparently in the forest.
63 - We see a conversation between Richy and Jessy.
64 - Richy is talking about something Jessy said to us. He says that Jessy should be more careful with the MC and then says that Jessy should know something about the MC, but then he needs to stop by the office and not talk about what it was.
65 - Jake, who was reading the messages between Richy and Jessy, is annoyed that Richy didn't say what he wanted to say.
66 - We asked him if he was reading the messages, and he says yes, because you never know where you can find the next piece of the puzzle. If we ask him if he always reads other people's messages, he replies that only the most interesting ones and asks us if the MC was judging him.
67 - If we say that we are judging him a little, he says that the MC was also reading their messages. We can answer that we are doing this because he told us to do this. So he says we're only doing this so that we can find Hannah.
68 - Jake asks ask us what we think Richy and Jessy are talking about us. If we say we have no idea, Jake responds with "Really? Not even a hunch?" so we can say that we’ve never talked to Richy before, and Jake thinks that’s strange. Jake assumes that Richy would tell Jessy why he doesn't trust MC. We can then answer "Don't trust anyone. It's your words, not mine." and "Do you trust me?", Jake answers the question with "Would I have given you access to Hannah's cloud if I didn't?" We can then tell Jake that he doesn't even know us that well, and he says "Maybe Jessy wasn't the only person who felt an immediate connection with you"
If we ask "Is that a compliment?" Jake says yes, and he would talk to us later.
69 - Cleo sends a message saying that she arrived at the hotel, but that Mrs. Walter was not at the reception. Cleo then says that Lilly used to work at the Hotel reception before, but apparently she doesn't work there anymore. Cleo then comments that Alfie, Mrs. Walter's son, is playing in a mud puddle in front of the hotel. We told Cleo that she should talk to Alfie, and after a while she comes back saying that he had called her "Friend of the dead girl" and then Cleo replies that Hannah was not yet dead and asked him who was saying these terrible things. Alfie then says that he saw Hannah being taken by the Man without a face.
If we say that he probably saw a man in a mask, Cleo replies that there is a legend in Duskwood about a "Man without a face" and that we should ask Jessy about it because she likes legends, and then in the meantime Cleo would talk to Mrs. Sully.
70 - We asked Jessy about the legend of the mwaf, and also commented that Alfie had seen Hannah being taken by him to the forest.
71 - We found out that Jessy was once Alfie's Nanny. And she says that he may well have invented it, since he has mental problems.
72 - Jessy creates a group about the Duskwood legends and puts Richy together, since he was born in Duskwood and could talk more about the legend than she did. But since Richy was working, they had to leave that for later.
73 - Cleo sends us a message saying she talked to Mrs. Sully, who says she saw Hannah coming out of the pharmacy and that she looked very worried, and then she sat on the patio of the Rainbow Café.
74 - We asked Cleo what Hannah had bought at the pharmacy, but she doesn't know. So she says that she will try to do something and that in the meantime we should try to find out more about the "mwaf".
75 - We talked to Richy and Jessy about Alfie and the mwaf.
76 - Jessy tells the legend of the mwaf. She says the legend is older than Duskwood, they say he lives inside the forest and at night he walks through the dark streets of the city. He marks the door of the greatest sins with a sign from the crow, and then on the night of the first new moon each year, he returns the marked houses and takes all the people from that house, whether guilty or not. No one knows exactly what he does with these people, but supposedly he takes them into the forest and these people never come back.
77 - We can then assume that the kidnapper is trying to copy the legend.
78 - Cleo sends us a message again, telling us a story that Lilly told her about Alfie.
79 - Cleo said it happened last year, in the fall. One of the guests complained to Lilly about a bad smell in his room, Lilly went to the room, but felt nothing, so she gave the guest another room. When she returned to the room she noticed the smell, but could not find where it came from, she then spoke to Mrs. Walter who spoke with the janitor Old Gray. After he cleaned it, Lilly, as she was curious to know what had given off that stench, goes to the trash and saw that Alfie's canary (Mr. Featherly) was dead and with a crushed beak and broken wings.
80 - Apparently Alfie killed the canary.
81 - We then see a conversation between Dan and Lilly. He was commenting that he was sure that the body found was not Hannah's. Lilly then asks Dan if he could come here (probably to her house), and Dan agrees.
Well, I think I better stop here, because I already wrote a lot and there is still a lot to write. To tell you the truth, I don't even know where I am in the story, I don't know if it's still chapter 1, or it's already 2 or maybe 3. But anyway, that's it. I will continue to write my observations / thoughts / summaries of the story when I have time and motivation. At the moment I want to see if I can draw something with Jake x MC and maybe write some theories that are in my head.
I hope that what I have written can help you in some way, or just remember what was going on at the beginning of the game. (Or maybe all of this is useless and it was really boring, so I'm sorry ;_;) See you later :)
#duskwood#Duskwood jake#Duskwood Richy#Duskwood Cleo#Duskwood Thomas#Duskwood Dan#Duskwood Lilly#Duskwood Jessy#Duskwood Hannah#jake of duskwood#richy of duskwood#cleo of duskwood#thomas of duskwood#dan of duskwood#lilly of duskwood#jessy of duskwood#hannah of duskwood#mwaf#man without a face#thoughts#comments#observations#summaries
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Bad Reputation
Pairing: Frat!Tom Holland x Reader
Word Count: 11,573
Summary: You meet Tom at the coffee shop that you work at, and you never think you’ll see him again, but the world seems to be on your side.
Warning(s): mentions of sex, I think the word hell is used (i don’t think there are any other bad words), some self doubt by the reader, frat!tom (yes, that’s a warning hehe), mentions of tom being a boxer oops, it wasn’t edited (my wife was gonna help me edit it bUT i started overthinking and decided to just post it :))
A/N: This is officially the longest one shot I have ever written. This is for @t-holland2080 ‘s summer writing challenge. I never thought I was going to get it done, there was a lot of writing and deleting and questioning, but here we are! I hope everyone enjoys, and as always, feedback is highly appreciated!!
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*
You were stressed, to say the least. Today had been a busy day and it was only getting worse. Working at the coffee shop on campus had its perks, sure. Like having some extra cash and getting free coffee. But it also had its downsides. It was always busy. Some days, like today, even more so. A lot of the students were absolute jerks and couldn’t bother to wait more than thirty seconds to get their drink when it obviously took longer than that to make, and every one of them always had something snarky to say or a loot to throw you to let you know just how ridiculous it was that you couldn’t snap your fingers and the drink be done.
To say you were having a bad day was an understatement. You had opened the store, today being one of the only days when you had no classes, so you could work for longer, which meant that you had gotten up at five this morning so that you could get ready and be at the shop by six. Every person that you had greeted seemed to be in a hurry, hurtling snide comments at you over and over. It seemed to be the busiest day of the week, even though it was nowhere close to the weekend.
And to top it off, another customer just walked in. Thankfully, he took his time walking up to the register, spent a little while gazing at the sweets arranged in cases around the room. When he finally did make his way to you, he flashed you a bright smile.
“What can I get you today?” You ask, going through the motions.
“Hmm, can I just get a regular coffee, love?” He’s still got that heart stopping smile on his face, and you can’t help but give him a real smile back.
“Sure, will that be all for today?” You ask, wanting to put the order through so that it will get done faster, just in case he is in a rush. It’s just a black coffee, so all you have to do is pour it into a cup, but you’ve had multiple impatient people get upset over it taking you “too long” to pour it.
He wants to say no, wants to say that he wants your number too. He thinks you’re beautiful, and he secretly really wants to tell you that. He wants to let you know that he saw you through the shop window and that he only came in here because of you. He wants to tell you that he secretly hates black coffee but it’s the cheapest option and he had to buy something to talk to you.
But he says none of those things, doesn’t want to come off strong. He’s never seen you before, after all. He doesn’t know who you are, if you’re the kind of girl that would want to even give him the time of the day. If you’re the kind of girl that gave any boy the time of day.
So he settles for saying, “Yeah, that’ll be all,” he looks at your name tag, “y/n.”
You tell him the price and go to pour his coffee as he swipes his card. Once you’re done, you struggle to put a lid on it; trying, and failing, to not get coffee onto your hands.
You quickly wipe the slight spill off of the cup, not wanting him to get anything on his hands, and then hand him the cup, thanking him and wishing him a nice day.
Once he leaves the store, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. He was cute, really cute actually. And he looked like a nice enough guy. You don’t know how you’d never seen him around before, knowing that there’s no way you had, you’d remember a face like that.
*
Apparently, you wouldn’t remember a face like that. Not until he ordered coffee from you, anyway.
You went to your English class the next day, hoping that the lecture wouldn’t make you want to rip your hair out. When you sit down in your normal seat, a place near the middle, but a little closer to the back, you see him.
You can’t believe you had never noticed him. You had noticed every other person that he was sitting with. They were all the guys that came into class late every Friday morning because they were too hungover to get to class on time. They were the frat boys.
Did that mean…? No, it couldn’t. He didn’t look like the rest of the frat boys.
But he fit right in, really. He was perfectly in place in their group. Honestly, it looked like they all watched what he was doing, following whatever he did, almost as soon as he did it. It was like they were waiting for his instruction. You had heard the rumors, they only did that with the head of the fraternity, Tom Holland.
But no, that would mean that he was Tom Holland.
Even though you heard continuous rumors about the way that he partied, got blackout drunk, slept with random girls, and then never called them again, you had never once seen the infamous face of Tom Holland.
And nobody questioned it when you told them. You weren’t the kind of girl that would know who he is. You’re not the kind of girl that goes to parties every chance they get and hooks up with the first guy that you can get your hands on.
If your assumptions were correct, however, he had been right under your nose this whole time, you had just never paid attention to him.
*
He had been looking for you, had been trying to find your face in the sea of others the entire day. He had absolutely no luck doing so, though, seeing as apparently, you were nowhere to be found.
He even tried to ask about you, but according to everyone that he knows, you don’t exist. And if you do, you don’t go to school with him. But he’s determined. He will see your stunning face again, experience your heart warming smile one more time, at least.
For the time being, however, he’s trying to push the thought out of his mind, knowing full well that he has to focus on whatever his English professor is going to drone on and on about today.
Once he had turned in slightly in his seat to see where Harrison was, though, there was absolutely no chance that he would be paying attention to anything but you.
You were right there, you had been right under his nose this whole time and he had spent so much time trying to actively ignore everything to do with English that he completely overlooked you, the prettiest girl that he had ever seen.
Your eyes were downcast, looking at the notebook that you had brought to class. Yeah, you seemed like the type of girl that would rather hand write notes than type them.
Your cheeks and your ears were tinged pink and he couldn’t help but wonder what made you blush, but then you looked up and met his gaze, and every thought left his mind. He could do nothing but stare back at you like a fool until Harrison finally walked in, sitting down beside him and nudging him with his elbow.
“Who’re you looking at, mate?” The blonde asked.
“Nobody.” Tom quickly replied, not wanting to have to listen to his best friend nag him about being enamored about a girl that he had only talked to once. And it wasn’t even a real conversation, he just ordered coffee from you, there was no flirting, there was no getting to know each other. The only things that either of you had learned was that he ordered just black coffee when he drank it and that you worked at the campus coffee shop.
You tried to sit through the rest of class as if you hadn’t just, maybe, held full eye contact for like a whole minute with the head of the biggest frat on campus. But really, he’s all you could think about. You were usually pretty good at not getting distracted during class, at not having to worry about whether or not you missed something because you were lost in your own head. But today, you probably zoned out and missed over half the lesson.
This was crazy, right? No person should be this intrigued by a person that they’ve only talked to once and seen only twice, should they?
If it was crazy, though, you were completely embracing it. There was something about this boy, something about Tom, that was messing with your mind. You weren’t the kind of person to believe in soulmates, but you did believe that the universe brought people together. You believed that there was a reason for everything. Which means that there had to be a reason for Tom to have walked into the coffee shop that you worked in, on the day that you needed a little brightness the most. There had to be a reason that he was in your class, that your paths had crossed yet again.
*
He never paid attention to the things happening around him while he was in class. He had never before paid the slightest bit of attention to the people that would filter in through the doors. But ever since he saw you in his English course, he started paying attention. And he realized that he had two other classes with you, his history course and his biology course.
He saw you every time that you had class with him, but he never had the guts to walk up and just talk to you. He had never had that problem before, usually going up to any girl he thought was attractive and sweet talking her into the palm of his hand in a matter of minutes.
Something about you was different, though. There was something about you that made him almost scared to just walk up to you. The fear of rejection when thinking about you was high, and that wasn’t something that he had felt in a long time.
It was almost like he felt that you were too good for him. He felt like you were too innocent, too pure to be bothered by him.
He was the resident fuckboy on campus, and there was no way that someone like you, someone that he had never seen at a party, or at any other social event, would want to be around him.
There’s no way that he’s anywhere near good enough for you. He thought that if he walked up to you and asked you anything, you’d scoff in his face and then walk away.
So, he doesn’t go up to you. He doesn’t talk to you. Doesn’t ask about your day, about your favorite subjects, about what your dreams are. And he sure as hell doesn’t ask you what he really wants to, for you to go on a date with him.
*
It had been a few weeks since you had seen him last, always making sure to get to class super early so you could sit closer to the front, not wanting to be too distracted in the classes that you had with him.
You have to admit, though, that you had spent many hours in your dorm room, debating on whether or not you should go out to one of the frat parties that you knew Tom would be at. Ultimately, you decided against it, knowing that you’d just make a fool out of yourself, showing up to a party in which you weren’t invited to see a boy that probably hasn’t thought about you since you gave him his receipt.
You had all but given up on him, realizing that the chances of ever even talking to him again was slim to none, and hoping for anything more than that was absolutely ludicrous.
So, pushing him to the back of your mind, you walked from your dorm to the library. For the first time in what felt like years, you didn’t search the faces that you passed by, you didn’t hope that one of them would be him, and you didn’t feel disappointed to not run into him.
You made it to the library just in time to say goodbye to your favorite librarian, Joan, before she left for the day. She wished you a good evening and then went on her way, shooting you a warm smile as you entered the rows of books that could all be used for reference on the essay that your English professor had assigned.
He hates essays. He really, truly does. He would rather do literally any other type of assignment than an essay. But here he was, walking into the library to search through numerous research articles just to find a sentence or two that he could use for his 5 page, minimum, essay that was due in less than a week.
He trudges over to the shelves, knowing which books that he needs to grab, but not really looking forward to doing so.
Right before he gets to the aisle he's about to wander down, he sees you. The girl that he’s been paying more than enough attention to since the day he walked into the coffee shop that he had never been to before. The girl he had been too scared to go up to and just simply talk to.
Until now.
He finally had a reason to go up and talk to you. He hated essays. He was complete trash at them. He always failed them no matter how hard he tried.
But you didn’t. You always did great on your essays. He knew you did, not because he was paying a weird amount of attention to you, it’s just that after he realized who you were, he started remembering some of the times that you had been there, but he just didn’t notice you. Some of these times were when every single time the professor would pass back essays, he would ask for yours back for ‘example pieces.’
So he cautiously made his way to you, walking slow to see if anyone was with you that would pop up. Thankfully, nobody did, so he walked the last couple steps to the table you had chosen as your study area and put his hands on the back of the chair opposite of you.
You look up and a wrinkle automatically comes between your brows, one that he can’t help but want to smooth with his fingertips.
“Can I help you?” You ask after he doesn’t say anything for a moment, just standing there.
“Um, yeah. I- you have Professor Stephens for English, right?” He tries to keep his eyes locked on you, but he can’t, can’t help but let his eyes wander over your features. The way that your eyebrows are furrowed and your forehead continues to be pinched, still confused as to why he’s here. The way that your cheeks seem to be a natural rosy pink. The way that your lips look so effortlessly full.
“Yeah, why?” He’s beginning to think that this was a bad idea. He had been right when he first thought it, there’s no way that someone like you could even want to be around someone like him. But it was too late to back out now, so he continued the plan that he had conjured up with the two brain cells that he had left.
“So, um, feel free to say no, of course. No pressure or anything.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “Just, you see, the thing is, I’m awful at essays. I try my best and still fail, and every time we do one, the Professor always keeps yours for examples when he does them next year. So, basically, I was wondering if you’d maybe wanna help me write mine?”
You look taken aback for a moment before agreeing, nodding your head and telling him which dorm was yours.
“Um, do you maybe want me to give you my number so that you can text when you’re available?” You ask him, and he tries his best to not let his face light up too much, but he definitely feels his stomach flip at the thought, even though you’re not even doing anything but trying to make study plans with him.
He says a quick thank you and a goodbye before promising to text you the next day as soon as he was done with his frat duties.
Why you had agreed at all, let alone so easily, was a mystery to you. What could he possibly want out of this? Yeah, he seemed like he worked a lot harder and paid a lot more attention than the majority of the other frat boys, but he was still one nonetheless, which means that he had to be up to no good.
Did he want you to just write your paper for him? Was that why he was asking?
A small part of you wants to believe that maybe he asked you because he had been feeling the same way that you have been. But that’s crazy. He’s the most wanted frat boy on campus, there’s no way that he’d want anything to do with you.
He was just trying to get his paper done. Whether he was trying to get you to do it or if he just wanted help like he said, you weren’t completely sure yet. But you knew one thing, you had to clean your dorm before he came over.
You rushed back to your place, throwing things where they belonged and hanging up the clothes that you had neglected for days.
You’re not entirely sure why you’re freaking out so much, trying to get your dorm as close to spotless as possible. It wasn’t like you needed to impress him. You were a uni student. You weren’t expected to be perfect, to be spotless. Yet, you still felt the need to make sure everything was perfect for him.
And that’s when you remember the cute little cafe that you had been dying to go to. Every review said that it was perfect for studying, and that the food there was amazing.
So, when Tom texted you that evening to make sure that you had his number, you responded telling him that when he was finished the next day to shoot you a text and then meet you at the cafe.
You’re relieved when he agrees, that place being a lot less personal, a lot less intimate than your dorm room, making you feel much more comfortable.
*
The next day, he texts you around noon, telling you that he’ll be able to meet at two at the cafe that you had suggested.
He’s more excited than he should be, especially since this is just a meeting for you to help him with the most atrocious thing that English professors can assign. But he can’t help it, it’s you. He gets excited every single time that you glance in his direction.
He rushed back to the frat house, taking a thorough shower and picking out a nice button down and a pair of dark jeans. The outfit was nice, he dressed to impress, but not like he was going to a formal dinner or anything.
This was just a study session. Nothing more.
The thought wasn’t getting his emotions in check like it should. Hell, he shouldn’t even have any emotions going into it. He had talked to you a grand total of two times. He shouldn’t feel like he had been pining over you for an absurd amount of time when he had known of your existence for approximately a month.
He shouldn’t feel like he had been pining over you at all. He was Tom Holland, for goodness sake. He wasn’t the guy that caught feelings. Everyone knew that.
But there was something about you, something about the way that you smiled at him, that made him want to be better. Something that made him want to throw away his reputation and start fresh, to not be seen as the boy with a new conquest every day, to be seen as the boy that’s looking for a girl to fall in love with.
Could that girl be you? He has no clue, but there’s something about you that’s begging him to find out.
So, he makes his way to the cafe, taking enough time to not seem too eager but still getting there almost fifteen minutes early.
You were already there as well, though. You had been just as anxious, if not a little more. You had spent hours getting ready, making sure that you were perfectly put together, not a hair out of place. You also spent at least an hour getting your supplies together and then checking, and rechecking everything to make sure that you wouldn’t forget a single thing.
You had arrived at the cafe half an hour early, wanting to make sure that you were there and everything was in order before he arrived. You had half expected him to be late, leaving you more time to calm your nerves. Your expectations were proven wrong, however, when he walked up to the booth you were sat at nearly a quarter to the hour.
“Hey.” He greets, sitting down a notebook, a few writing utensils, and his laptop. “Thanks again for agreeing to help me.”
“Hey! It’s no problem.” You assure, not wanting him to think that this is a burden for you when you’d rather sit around with him and work on an essay than sit at your dorm all alone, especially since you had been so caught up in him as of late.
“So, um, where do you want to start?” And so began the study session that the two of you had been looking forward to. You got so lost in the material, explaining to him what certain aspects of the essay should pertain, letting him write a paragraph or two and then tweaking them slightly, allowing him to do the same, that you didn’t even realize that the diner was about to close until the waitress came to inform the two of you.
He looked just as surprised as you felt to see that the two of you had been there for almost eight hours.
You both said a quick goodbye and set a time to meet again to continue with the studying, the time conveniently being in a few days, giving you enough time to get most of your essay done so that you could focus on him more.
After he said his final farewell, he made his way down the street, heading back towards the frat house. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way that your smile has been permanently etched into his brain. How your laugh is the most precious thing that he’s ever heard, and he’ll continue to do everything in his power to keep you laughing as often as possible.
You’re not in a much better headspace, thinking constantly about the way that his smirk is overly annoying, but also so hot that you want to kiss it off of his face. How his nose is slightly crooked, but in a way that accentuates his features in the best way.
You had asked if he had broken it before, not being able to help your curiosity. This had left to him laughing, throwing his head back, and telling you that he’s had more broken noses than he could count. He’d been boxing for most of his life, and that’s just the kind of thing that happens, knuckles get bruised, noses get broken.
Something about that had made you swoon even more. The thought of him boxing got your heart racing. You had no clue why, you’d never been a fan of any form of violence, but something about picturing him in a boxing ring had your stomach tying in knots and your face heating up.
You fell into bed that night with a smile on your face, feeling more excited than you should have to see him again.
He laid awake in his bed, across campus from you, thinking of the same things. When he’d see you again, if your conversation would venture more towards each others’ personal lives instead of strictly on the material.
It’s safe to say that neither one of you got that much sleep that night.
*
The two of you decided to meet at your dorm room this time, seeing as how you had spent hours studying the time before and weren’t even done when the diner closed. This way, he could stay and study as long as necessary.
He was pacing around his room, three hours before he even had to leave for your dorm, trying to find out what in the world he should wear. He thought about asking one of his frat brothers, seeing as the majority of them had a pretty good taste in clothes, but he knew that they’d all take a dig at him if he had to explain why he was so worried about his outfit choice.
He wasn’t embarrassed of you, not in the slightest, he just didn’t want to make a big deal out of something that wasn’t even a thing yet. If you ever did agree to actually go out with him, though, he would take all the jokes and the comments from his frat brothers that he had to. He’d be too happy to care what they had to say, even if you only agreed to one date and then never wanted to see him again.
He ended up settling for a pair of black jeans and a hoodie, wanting to be comfortable for the long study session, but not wanting to look like a bum. You had also mentioned to him that your building tended to be a lot more chilly than others around campus, and advised him to either wear a sweatshirt over or to bring one with him.
Although he’d never admit it to you, there was a part of him that was already trying to figure out a way to get you to come to the frat house for the next study session. It was abnormally cool in the house as well, but he wasn’t planning on telling you that. If you didn’t bring one on your own sweatshirt, he would give you his.
Because, no matter what all the boys thought of him, or what he let his reputation get to, he was the kind of guy that yearned for the domestic things in life. For waking up next to the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. For waking her up with kisses and then making her breakfast. For her to be wearing his clothes and for him to be able to come up to her and randomly love on her.
He had never had the chance to be like that with someone. He had come to college, joined a frat, and thought that he had to be the guy that had a new conquest every night. And he had been completely fine with it, content even. Until he met you. And something about the way that you made him feel in the brief time that he was around you in the coffee shop made him realize everything that he was missing.
He was missing you.
And you were all he could think about anymore, because he wanted his life to be complete, and he knew that with you, it would be.
How you could be this intrigued by someone after literally interacting three times is unknown to you, but you had to admit to yourself that you are. You’re so intrigued by him that you find yourself thinking about how it would feel to fall asleep next to him, or how it would be to walk into the kitchen in the morning to find him fixing something and just wrap your arms around him without a care in the world.
You shake the thought from your head, realizing that there’s no way it could ever be a reality, so why fantasize about it?
What you focus on instead is the study session the two of you have in just a few hours. You had cleaned your room before the first session the other day, but you had been deep cleaning since last night, trying to make sure that everything looked decent and presentable. You didn’t want him to think that you were a slob.
You were glad that you had remembered to remind him to wear or bring something warm, seeing as today was one of the cooler ones in the building. The thermostat that you kept in your room reading a chilly 64 degrees (17 degrees Celsius). Why it was so cold in your building, leading you to dress warmly, only to go to a lecture where the room felt like you were sitting on the sun, you would never know, but you never complained or requested a dorm change because you genuinely loved the one that you were in, regardless of the temperature.
With a quick glance at the clock on your bedside table, you decide to get dressed. You put on a hoodie and a pair of leggings. You decided to just put your hair up in a bun. It was just Tom, after all. This was just a study session. Nothing more. There was no need to get all dressed up. It’s not like this was a date. You were just helping him with his English essay. Within the next week, this whole thing would be over and you’d probably never see him again besides in class, much less have an actual conversation with him.
*
“Hey,” you mumble as you open the door for him. You’re still slightly nervous about what he could be thinking.
Will he think your room is a mess? You had cleaned the entire place, going over everything at least three times, but the thought still crosses your mind.
Will he think that the amount of books you have in the oak bookshelf to the left of your bed is weird? Would he think you were too nerdy? Who were you kidding, he probably already thought you were a nerd, he had noticed how the professor asked to keep your papers. At best, he had to think you were the teacher’s pet or something. That’s probably why he even asked you to help him. He probably figured that you would put in a good word for him, that you would let Professor Stephens know that you had helped.
“Hey.” He replies, sounding almost as nervous as you felt. Could he possibly be? Why would he even be nervous? The only thing that you could think of that he could even be slightly nervous about is the impression that he makes on you, if you were impressed or not. He had no need to feel like that, though.
You wanted to tell him that, but you couldn’t. There was no way in the world that you could possibly just come out and say it, let him know that he looked great.
“So, where are we starting today?” You ask, trying to steer your mind back on the right path.
“Um, I was actually maybe thinking that we could just read over what we had worked on since last time, if that’s okay? And then give each other notes that we have if there are any?” You look over at him and see that his hands are slightly tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie, giving him cute little sweater paws.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” You pull your eyes from his hands, walking over and plopping down on your bed, looking over at him expectantly.
He seems a lot more nervous than you had initially anticipated. He seems almost as if he’s scared to come sit next to you. There’s something about that thought that makes him seem even more endearing than he already was.
“You can come sit, you know?” You say, smiling at him to let him know that it was alright.
He gives a nervous chuckle that sounds more like a cough and you can’t help but to laugh along. There’s something about hearing his laugh that makes your chest feel a sudden rush of warmth.
He slowly makes his way closer to the bed, still approaching with caution and you can’t help the smile that’s glued to your face.
“So, what’s your story, Holland?” You blurt, not thinking about what in the world you were doing. You didn’t even stop to ponder the possibility that he wouldn’t want to talk to you about his life. There was still the completely possible idea that he actually only wanted to be around you to study. Although, you can’t help but have an itch in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that isn’t the only reason that he’s here.
“What do you wanna know?” He takes you by surprise with that, with the fact that he seems to be willing to tell you any and everything.
“Anything.” you breathe, watching him settle into your bed. You had situated yourself to where you were sitting against the headboard, and he shuffles to lay on his stomach, opening his laptop beside you.
“Well, um, where do I start, I guess is the question.” He looks over at you and you just give a shrug, so he continues. “I could just start at the beginning. I’m Tom, as you know.” He chuckles, running a hand through his chocolate locks, and you can’t help but follow the path that his hand takes through the tendrils of hair, over his neck, and back to the bed. “I have three brothers, all younger. Sam and Harry are twins. Sam’s really into the whole culinary thing, and Harry’s a photographer. They’re really good at what they do.” You can tell by the way that he talks about them that he's really proud of them. “Paddy’s the youngest, still can’t believe how big he is every time I see him. It seems like only yesterday he was a little baby that I could carry around everywhere.” The look on his face seems as if he’s guilty for leaving his brothers when he went to college, and you immediately want to assure him that it’s okay, but you don’t feel like it’s the right time.
“I’ve got a dog named Tessa, she seems to miss me a lot, gets really lovey and excited whenever I go back home for the holidays.” The smile that breaks out on his face makes your heart swell. “Mum and dad are still together, raised me right, taught me how to treat people and how to make the right choices. If we’re honest, I don’t think that they’d be too proud of who I’ve become.” he meets your eyes and gives you a sad smile, and you want to lean over him and envelop him in a warm embrace, but you don’t think that would be the best move.
“What do you mean, why wouldn’t they? You seem like a pretty good guy, Tom.” You’re not lying, you think he’s a great person. You see no reason why they wouldn’t be proud of him.
He chuckles, looking up at you and wondering if what he’s about to say next is the best thing to do, but he decides that he might as well. “I am a pretty good guy, when I’m around you. But when I came here and joined the frat that I did, I thought that I had to be a certain person.” He looks away from you, not wanting to have to see the way you’re going to react to how he really is. “And, for a while, I really liked who I was, you know? I thought that was who I was supposed to be, and it kind of felt right. The whole partying every weekend and taking a different girl home each time I went out thing was fun for a while. And then something changed. Something in my life shifted and I figured out that it wasn’t really that fun. That there were other things that I could do. I don’t want the reputation that I have.” He sighs, running his hand through his hair again, still refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m surprised that you haven’t heard about it. You’d probably run for the hills if you did.”
You chuckle, and his eyes immediately shoot to meet yours. “I know about your reputation Tom. I have since before I even agreed to help you.”
“Then why would you agree? You had to have known the kind of person that I was. There had to have been at least one person that warned you away from me.” He genuinely can’t believe that you knew about his reputation, about all the things that everyone said about him, both true and false, and still decided to be around him.
“Yeah, there were quite a few that warned me about you, but I don’t listen to what people tell me to do. And I definitely don’t listen to what people have to say about others. I like to find out for myself, which is exactly what I did, and I’m glad that I chose to do what I did. If I had listened to them, I wouldn’t have found out how great of a person that you are.” Without putting any thought into it, you reach down and run your fingers over his palm, letting him know that you’re there, that you know who he really is and that you don’t think what everyone else does.
He looks up at you, looking a bit startled, and confused, but he makes no move to pull away, just relaxes even further into the bed as you continue to trace random patterns into his hand.
“Hey, this may sound weird, but I haven’t been sleeping well lately, too nervous for my brain to shut down, so do you mind if we maybe, um, take a nap? Or maybe just me? I don’t know, I could lay on the floor or something, I just feel really calm right now.” A blush rises to his cheeks and you can’t help but agree, grabbing your stuff and placing it on the floor beside your bed.
“You can stay up here, Tom.” You murmur, not wanting him to be too far.
He nods an agreement, helping you shuffle under the covers before doing the same. You hear him sigh in content behind you and the smile that spreads across your face stays there as you drift off into the most peaceful sleep that you’ve had since Tom walked into the coffee shop.
*
Weeks passed, and you were still keeping up with the study session, you finding it a lot easier to get things done when Tom was around, and him still needing the occasional push in the right direction on certain assignments. You had both found that it was just simpler to stay study buddies than try to get through it on your own.
You had become a lot closer with Tom, the weeks spent together really letting you get to know one another quite thoroughly.
And, if you’re being honest with yourself, which you hadn’t loved doing lately, you had developed quite the crush on Tom. You suddenly saw what everyone would ramble about when talking about him.
He was sweet, caring, funny, and a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for. When you had told your select few friends about him, they had immediately warned you away from him, told you that he didn’t really need a study partner, he just wanted to get in your pants.
All those speculations had gone away, however, after you explained to them that you had gone the initial week without him trying to make a move whatsoever. At first, they had been surprised, but then you just ended up getting the occasional offhand comment about how it wasn’t all that hard to believe. “I mean, look at him and then look at you.” was one that was used quite a bit. And you hated to admit it, but it really got to you. So much so that you had decided not to make the first move yourself.
You had grown up being told that women could do anything that men could do, that it was okay to make the first move no matter what the situation was. But there was something about your so-called friends that made you question that in an instant.
Maybe they were right. They did seem to have all the ‘evidence’ that they needed. How could he possibly have the reputation that he had and not have made a move yet? The only plausible explanation was that he simply found you unattractive.
But then your brain would drift back to the conversation that you had shared a few weeks prior. He didn’t want to have that reputation anymore, didn’t want to be that guy. He wanted to be the guy that he was before starting college, before joining the fraternity that made him into a completely different person. He didn’t want to be the womanizer with a brand new girl in his bed every night.
Those thoughts set the peace back in your mind. Maybe he really was different. He certainly was around you, he had been since the very beginning.
You had made him want to be different, want to change and be known as the guy that wants to fall in love, not as the guy who wants to sleep with as many girls as possible. You changed it all for him and he couldn’t help but realize that he may be falling for you.
He had been completely enamored by everything about you since the moment that he had first laid eyes on you, and in the short time that the two of you had been hanging out, he had come to grow extremely fond of your personality. Of the way that you saw the good in everything and made him feel as if he wasn’t the crappy person that everyone assumed he still was. Of the way that you made every room brighter, no matter what.
He hadn’t felt as strongly as he did for you in as long as he could remember, and usually feelings would scare him, but there was a certain aspect of the way that you made him feel that took all the fear away, made him feel completely secure in admitting that he had feelings for you.
Not that he could ever admit them to you. No, he was nowhere near fearless enough to come out and let you know how he felt. There was no way that you could possibly like him back. There’s no way that you could have just ignored every bad thing that he had opened up and told you about. There was no way that anyone could love him despite all of that, let alone you.
You were sitting in his room at the frat house, typing away at a project that had been assigned for English, when he looks up at you. He studies your features for a moment, how perfect they all look. How the crease you get between your brows when you’re trying to concentrate makes you somehow even more beautiful than you already are. How the way your tongue sticks out and runs over your full lips makes you look almost angelic, how your hair frames your face perfectly, making him want to run his hands through it.
“We’re having a party here tonight.” He blurts, making you look up from the screen of your computer and give him your undivided attention.
“Oh, that’s fun, do you need me to be gone by a certain time or something?” You ask, slightly bummed that you may have to leave earlier than usual tonight. You’ve gotten used to spending most of the day with him and then going your separate ways at almost midnight every time that you studied together.
“No, no. not at all!” He spits, wanting to smack himself for being so bad with words. Of course he didn’t want you to leave. He wanted you to be around him as much as you were comfortable with. He could spend every day and night in your presence and never get bored. “I was actually wondering if, um, maybe you’d want to go?”
You almost chuckle, thinking how ridiculous the offer is. He knows you, knows that you’re not the girl that goes to parties, much less parties at the biggest frat on campus. You don’t laugh, however, because you see the hopeful look in his eyes. “I mean, I don’t know, Tom. I’m not exactly the party type, you know?”
He scoffs, “What makes you say that? Everyone’s the party type.”
You give a slight eye roll at that, “That’s not true. I’m nowhere near what would be considered the party type. I’m the girl that stays in her dorm or at the library studying, not the girl that goes to parties on the weekends and gets wasted.” You look down at your hands, realizing yet another reason why he wouldn’t like you. Why would he want to be with someone who’s never experienced that aspect of his life? “I mean, props to those girls that do that, it just isn’t me.”
He leans over towards you and hooks a finger under your chin, lifting until your eyes meet his again. “Please? I promise you’ll have a good time. I’ll make sure of it.” Your cheeks heat up at this, your mind immediately going to the gutter. You shake the thought from your mind, surprised that you would even think such things.
It’s not like you and Tom would ever do something like that anyway. He had explained to you multiple times that he didn’t want to sleep with people that he didn’t have feelings for anymore. He didn’t want the meaningless sex anymore. He wanted something that actually meant something. And even though it would mean something to you if something were to happen, it would be meaningless for him, so the chances of anything occurring if you agreed to go to the party was zilch.
So, you find yourself nodding, agreeing to go. He looks extremely shocked, like he had every doubt in his mind that you would ever say yes.
If only he knew how you felt, then he would have been aware of the fact that there’s no way that you could ever say no to that face, to the puppy dog eyes that he gives you when he asks for something that he really wants. And he hadn’t stopped giving them since the initial question had rolled off of his tongue, so he must really want you at that party, so of course there was no way that you were going to miss it.
*
Frat parties are weird. They’re kind of gross too, people spilling drinks everywhere, dropping cup after cup into other people and on the floor. You were glad that you had decided to not get dressed up, the room felt like it was a thousand degrees. You had settled on a pair of black denim shorts and a slightly cropped top that came down to just above your belly button, wanting to fit into the atmosphere without looking like you were trying too hard.
You had gone home around thirty minutes ago, getting ready before heading back. By the time you had returned, Tom was nowhere to be found, and you weren’t planning on actively searching for him. You’d let him do his own thing, and maybe catch up with him later.
Another thing you noticed, after pouring yourself a drink and settling against a wall near the corner of the room, was that frat parties are loud. Not just the music, that’s continuously playing, no breaks that would make people want to leave to do something else. There was something about the way that every song made the occupants of the party roudier and roudier. After a few songs had played, almost every person in the house was screaming along at the top of their lungs. So yeah, frat parties were loud.
As you scan the room, you realize that this could maybe be thrilling. If you had someone that you could have asked to come with you, if you had someone to dance with. You had a few friends, sure, but none of them would ever be caught dead at a party like this one. They were all like you, they’d rather stay home and get some peace on a Friday night than go out to a party.
Were you really like that though? The girl that you had thought you were before, even just three hours prior, would’ve never agreed to this much less be enjoying it.
The last thing you notice before joining the crowd, a girl grabbing your hand and leading you to dance with her, is that, just maybe, frat parties are fun.
He had been pulled into a game of pong by his brothers. He hadn’t even noticed that you were here yet, but the second he sees you dancing with a few girls that he’s never even seen before, all the air is knocked from his body. You look ethereal. The light sheen of sweat making the dim lights reflect off of your body, casting a light around you. The way that the strands of hair that have come loose from your updo stick to your forehead and neck make him want to fix it for you, run his hands through your hair, no matter how sweaty it would be, and redo the ponytail that you had been sporting.
There’s a churning in his gut, and at first he doesn’t realize why. But then it hits him, hits him like a freight train. He wants to be the one dancing with you. He wants to make you smile like you’re smiling at those girls. He wants to be the one that riles you up and makes you dance and have the time of your life.
So, without finishing the game, he makes his way to you, ignoring the questions and shouts to come back from the boys. He walks up to you without a care in the world and wraps his hands around your waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
You tense up for a split second and he feels like an absolute idiot for just coming up behind you like he did, but then you lean back into him, turning your head slightly to the side to murmur a “Hey, Tommy.” into his ear, and his entire head goes blank.
Tommy? He could get used to that.
“Hey, love. You look like you’re having fun.” He fights every urge in him to not kiss into your neck, to not leave the marks that he’s been dying to for weeks on end.
“I am. I really never thought this would be my scene, but it’s a rush.” You giggle, still dancing to the music, his swaying along behind you, still holding onto your waist.
“Told you that you’d like it.” He breathes, still resting his face in your neck. You can feel his warm breath fan over the expanse of your skin and it sends shivers down your spine, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him, the smirk that you can feel appear on his face lets you know for a fact that he felt it. “Hey, do you maybe want to go upstairs? Take a breather?”
At this, you turn to face him, “Tom…” you say pointedly, knowing what people will think if you head upstairs together. You can already hear the things that people will say. “Is that the best idea? You know what people are going to say.”
He flashes the puppy dog eyes, and he immediately has you, but you can’t let him know that, so you continue to put up a fight. “Tom, the rumors aren’t going to be pretty.”
“I won’t let anyone say anything bad about you, darling. I don’t wanna do anything, just wanna take a beat, cool down, spend some time with you.” You smile, wanting to just give in to him, to let him lead you to his room that you’ve been in way too many times before, but you’re still a little worried.
“People are going to say things regardless of what you do. And it isn’t just me they’ll say things about.” He leans down, pressing his face back into your neck.
“Please? I really want to just be with you, I’ll fight anyone who says anything bad if I have to.” He promises, making your smile grow.
“There’s no need for violence, come on, let’s go to your room.” You finally agree, letting him take you by the hand and push through the crowd.
You slowly make the trek up the stairs to his room at the very end of the hallway, stepping inside and letting him close the door behind the two of you.
You flop down on his bed, laying on your stomach and looking around the room that you’d already scanned countless times before. The books on the shelf are calling out to you, but it’s not the time. This is a party, not a study session. You let your eyes roam again, landing on the family photo that you’ve admired more times than you would care to admit. He looks so happy, posing on a golf course with his brothers and dad, Tessa sitting at his feet.
“You’re gorgeous.” He blurts, not thinking of the consequences that could come from his words.
You can feel your cheeks heat up from the compliment, your ears beginning to burn. “Thanks, you’re pretty gorgeous yourself.”
“Thanks, love.” He chuckles, and then the room falls silent for a few moments, your head resting on the bed, eyes closed and trying to get your heartbeat to slow down. He’s still standing by the door, leaning on his desk and playing with his fingers.
You continue observing the room, noticing for the first time that there was a little hole by the bathroom door. You wonder how it got there. Your brain is shuffling through a few options of how it could have appeared when Tom clears his throat and catches your attention.
You turn your head, locking eyes with him again and quirking your eyebrow, sending him the message to continue, to just spit out whatever he has to say.
“I walked into that coffee shop that day and ordered a coffee. I was in a hurry and I needed to make it to an important meeting at the house, but I saw you through the window. You looked so stressed, I didn’t just want to bombard you with yet another order, so I took my time by looking through the pastry cases, letting you have a second to breathe.” He pulls out the chair by his desk and plops down in it, looking too nervous to continue standing. “I strolled on over to the counter, ordered the simplest thing I could, and patiently waited for you to get it. I saw that you spilled some on yourself and wanted so badly to take your hand in mine and kiss it better. I don’t know why, it was just an urge I had.” He chuckles slightly, as if realizing how utterly ridiculous the action would have been if it had actually been carried out. “After that day, I couldn’t get your smile out of my head, couldn’t get the way that your eyes lit up to stop replaying in my thoughts.” He runs his hand through his hair, looking around the room before landing his eyes back on yours. “I looked for you for a while, asked about you, but to no avail.”
You chuckle this time, you’re not surprised that he couldn’t find you by asking around, you didn’t associate yourself with many people.
He flashes you a smile and then continues, “Everything about you makes me smile, I don’t know what it is about you, but you’re the best person I’ve ever met. I can’t keep you out of my head no matter how I try. You drive me crazy in the best way possible. I caught feelings for you. I feel so hard and that scares me to death at first.” He sighs, looking away from you again. “I don’t usually do the whole commitment thing, as my reputation suggests, but thinking about the things that I could have with you makes me want the commitment, makes me want to be domestic and lovey with you.Don’t get me wrong, it’s still terrifying.” He locks eyes with you again. “You just have this way of making me feel like everything’s going to be alright.” He cracks a smile before continuing with, “I think that the world could be ending and you’d make me feel like it was fine.”
You’re smiling so hard that your cheeks hurt. Tom Holland, arguably the hottest, most popular boy on the entirety of campus is into you. And not only is he into you in the way that everyone had thought he would be, he actually wanted something real with you. He didn’t just want to have you in his bed for one night. The way that he was explaining it, he wanted you in his bed every night for as long as he could have you.
You have to take a second to catch your breath, his confession leaving you feeling as if you had just run a marathon at a full sprint.
Once you calm yourself back down, you let everything you had been dying to say fall out of your mouth. “That day at the coffee shop, all I needed was one thing to make me smile. I just needed that one thing to let me know that it was going to be okay. And then you walked in, and you didn’t just make me smile for a minute, you made me smile for the rest of the day. I looked for you too, searched every group of people I walked past. I didn’t ask anyone because I doubted anyone that I know would know someone that looks like you.” You chuckle awkwardly, trying not to put too much thought into what’s coming out of your mouth. If you did you would immediately psych yourself out and that’s definitely what you needed.
“I caught feelings too. I really tried not to, if we’re being completely honest with each other. I never thought that this would be me.” You look down at your hands, playing with the silver band that you keep around your finger. “I didn’t think that I would be that girl, you know? The girl that falls for the cute frat boy, even though they were repeatedly told to avoid him.” You smile despite yourself, still twisting the ring mindlessly. “I fit the cliche perfectly, don’t you think? The nerdy girl with barely any friends that meets the boy that needs a little help studying and then falls for him.” You scoff at how predictable the whole thing was, it was almost laughable. Honestly, it was, and you’d be laughing along if it wasn’t your life.
“But the thing about it is, I was fine with being that cliche. I was fine with falling for the boy I’m not supposed to because it wasn’t just any boy, it was you. And I haven’t been able to get your stupidly perfect face out of my head since the minute you wandered into the shop. I can’t stop thinking about holding your hand when I see you tracing seemingly random things with your fingertips. Can’t stop myself from wanting to lean over and kiss you every time that I’m helping you study and get a little pouty because you want a break but we’ve only been working for like five minutes so I say no. Can’t stop myself from thinking about how sometimes we nap together and wake up tangled in each other's arms, and how we could do that every day.” Your cheeks begin to burn at the things that you just let slip out of your mouth, but you’re quickly distracted by the embarrassment as you feel the bed shift under Tom’s weight.
He settles in beside you, taking your hand in his and running his thumb over your knuckles. You look up at him, wanting to see his reaction to what you had just said, and as soon as you see his face, you’re floored.
He has the biggest smile splayed across his face, and you can’t help but mimic his expression, glad to see that he wasn’t repulsed by what you had to say. Which, honestly, it wouldn’t make that sense if he was, but there’s always a possibility.
“Y/N, I know we haven’t known each other for that long, and yeah, we’re definitely the cliche, but would you maybe wanna be my girlfriend?” Tom asks, a hopeful look in his eyes.
You want to say yes. You really do, more than anything in the world, but your voice of reason is asking you why someone in him would really want to be with you. Sure, he said that he didn’t want to be that guy anymore, but that’s literally who he is. Why would he really just throw all that away all of a sudden?
“No offense Tommy, but you’re not exactly serious boyfriend material, and I’m the girl that wants to have a serious boyfriend, to have a relationship that’ll last. I want to be able to take my boyfriend home to my mom and dad. I don’t just date for the hell of it, Tom. I date for real.” You say, fighting an internal struggle with yourself. So much of you wants to just say yes, but he has to know what you want in a relationship. “And don’t freak out when I say this, because a lot of guys do. But, really, if you’re not dating someone to see if they’re the person that you’ll spend the rest of your life with, why are you even dating them? That’s how I view relationships.”
“I get that, it doesn't freak me out. I used to be like that, used to want a serious relationship.” You give him a look, the way he’s wording his sentences not helping his case. He gets the hint and rushes to continue what he was saying. “I just lost myself here, but being around you made me realize that the part of me that wants to be in a serious relationship, that wants to be domestic was still in there.” He’s getting more nervous by the second, you can tell by the way his fingertips are tracing patterns into your hand. You give his a quick squeeze in reassurance. “I don’t expect you to believe me right now. Honestly, I wouldn’t believe me either if I were you, but I’ll prove it to you. I’ll show you that I can be the guy that you want. Screw my reputation, forget what everyone thinks about me. I just need you by my side, I don’t care what anyone else has to say.”
You smile, feeling your chest swell with his words. There’s not a single part of you that doesn’t think he could prove it to you, so you don’t hesitate to agree.
“Fine. prove it to me Holland, and then I’ll think about being your girlfriend.”
*
Ever since that night, he’s been even more perfect than he already was. He really meant it when he said that he’d prove it. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t show you that he could be everything that you need and more.
He walks you to class from wherever you had spent the night before. If you had slept over at the frat house, he would let you shower there and wear some of his clothes if you hadn’t brought any of your own with you - or if you just wanted to wear his clothes - and then he would walk you back to your dorm so you could finish getting ready. If the two of you had slept in your room, he would always make sure that he woke you up by nuzzling into your neck, then letting you get ready while he checked to make sure you had everything you needed for the day.
Once you were ready to head out the door, he’d grab your stuff for you, slinging your bag over his shoulder and either grab your hand or throw his arm over your shoulders. He’d walk you all the way to class and then leave you with a kiss on your cheek.
During those that you have together, though, he walks in and you sit near the back. You moved where you normally sit so that he can whisper in your ear during the lectures without bothering anyone else. You had ended up needing to invest in a voice recorder so you could catch the content and listen to it later.
The classes that you shared that took place in the early mornings were by far the worst, for you anyways. He seemed to not have a problem with getting up at the crack of dawn to get ready. But no matter how tired you were, he was always there to make sure that you were well put together. And, after he ensured that the voice recorder was on and running, he would let you lay your head on his shoulder and get a little more sleep.
On the nights that you’re not too worn down from classes, he’ll take you out to dinner. He always lets you pick the restaurant and then takes you to a new scenic destination to watch the sunset.
You still spend a lot of your time at the library, still having to study even though you’re spending a steadily increasing amount of time with Tom. Any time that you need to sit at the library to study, he’ll tag along if you want him to, even if he doesn’t need to study. He’ll sit across from you, knowing how you like to have an ample amount of space to spread out your materials, and read a book.
Even when you didn’t go out anywhere, just stayed in and spent time with each other, everything was perfect. Everything was completely perfect.
And what really took you by surprise was the fact that he didn’t even seem like he was trying very hard. It seemed like acting like this with someone that he cared about was just second nature. It was really pleasant, knowing that if you did say yes, it would be like this all the time.
One of your biggest fears going into this was that he would be perfect until you said yes and then completely change, do a full one eighty and make you regret your entire decision. But the way that he acts comes naturally to him that you don’t have a doubt in your mind that it will stay the same if you agree to date him.
*
A few weeks later, you’re sitting on his bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone as he sits at his desk, working on another essay. You had finished yours a few hours prior, so you were waiting for him to complete the rough draft so you could read over it.
“Yes.” You blurt, not thinking to elaborate.
“Hmm?” He wonders, not even looking up from his laptop, fingers still clicking away at the keys.
“Yes.” You say, a little louder this time. His fingers stop moving, coming to a rest on his keyboard.
“What do you mean , love?” He asks, not wanting to get his hopes up as to what you could be talking about.
“I’ll be your girlfriend.” He jumps up from his chair, a smile breaking across his face. He bounds over to the bed and picks you up, spinning you around and planting kisses all around your face.
You giggle, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip to no avail. After a few moments, he lets you down. He clambers onto the bed beside you and puts a hand on each side of your face, smooshing your cheeks.
“I love you, in case it wasn’t obvious.” He says, looking at you like you’re the reason that his world spins.
“I love you too, Holland. Couldn’t imagine life without you.” And it’s true, although you’d only known him for a span of a few months, he had completely changed your life.
And suddenly, you’re really thankful for a busy day at the coffee shop.
*
Permanent Taglist - @spideygirl2003, @jackiehollanderr, @scarletsoldierrr, @thewayilookatbacon, @parker-barnes-af, @lost-in-the-stars03, @kisses-holland, @josiemara, @god-knows-what-am-i-doing, @fanficscuziranout, @akila-stilinski @babebenhardy @write-from-the-heart, @slytherinambitious, @miraclesoflove @tomshufflepuff, @quaksonhehe, @a-different-brand-of-beans, @dummiesshort,
Tom Holland Taglist - @cyrusandhiscollaredahirts, @thorsangel, @perspectiveparker, @sucker-09, @tom1year, @averyfosterthoughts, @the-crazy-fanfictionist
People who wanted to be tagged in this piece - @sleepybesson, @xoxohollands
#sammy's summer writing challenge#frat!tom#frat boy!tom#frat!tom holland#frat boy!tom holland#th#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#tom holland smut#tom holland x y/n#tom holland x you#tom holland fic#tom holland fics#tom holland fan fic#tom holland fan fics#tom holland fanfic#tom hollanf fanfics#tom holland imagine#tom holland imagines#tom holland ff#ff#fics#fanfiction#imagines#smut#fluff#angst#2020
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Rivamika Fic Suggestions List
Hello! First time posting on the Rivamika side of Tumblr. I just wanted to leave some of my personal recommendations for Rivamika fan fics on here to possibly help pass the time. I know that some people in the Rivamika chat will ask or put down some fic suggestions and it sucks that the messages get deleted after 1 week. Some of these stories are widely known in this community and some I think need a little more love lol. But I hope that you enjoy these stories as much as I have. I’ve split this list up into four categories. I wanted to let people know the status of some these fics in case they did not want to start an incomplete or in progress story. I know that many people are going to noticed that the Western Passage is not on this list. Sadly, I never got around to reading it when it was written for Levi and Mikasa and I can’t seem to find it anywhere for the life of me.
All of these fics can be found on AO3. I would link them but Tumblr apparently has an issue with links. If you guys want another list of fics, just let me know or you can tell me to GTFO and I will take the hint lol! If you have any fic suggestions for me, feel free to message me with them and I can add them on to the next list if anyone wants that. If any author sees their story on here and they want me to take it off the list, please let me know I don’t wish to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Also, last thing, I highly recommend leaving comments and kudos to the authors. I know that they greatly appreciate it and it helps them with improving their writing through feedback. I’ll shut up now.
DISCLAIMER: I know that not all of these stories are not for everyone, these are just my opinions and suggestions.
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Completed:
- Finding Comfort in Burning
Author: LittleWhisperer
Rating: Mature
This is a classic Rivamika fic and I know that the community loves it (as do I). If you are looking for superb character development, look no further than this baby right here. LittleWhisperer’s writing is so well done I can’t believe that this ain’t just a famous author writing in their spare time (oh wait I think they are). They’re so descriptive with the environment that you feel as if you are there watching as the scenes unfold. It’s a captivating story from start to finish and the building of Mikasa and Levi’s passionate relationship is soo scrumptious.
- Part of Me
Author: kenken_chan
Rating: Mature
Every Rivamika fan out there has to read this story!!! I cannot describe how absolutely wonderful this fic is! I was literally left speechless after finishing the last chapter because my mind was just blown away by the conclusion of Levi and Mikasa’s relationship. This really takes you on an emotional roller coaster and you can really grasp each character’s emotions through out the story. I will give a warning before hand, there are heavy subjects and situations presented that some people may not feel comfortable with. I personally think those subjects and how they are handled is what makes this fic such a diamond in the rough but if you are feeling uncomfortable then I understand that as well. I also know this fic has been out before and that the author had made changes to it since it was first released. If you haven’t read the edited version of this story, I would say give it another read now. I would love to hear what people think after they finish reading this gem.
- A Dangerous Game
Author: LittleWhisperer
Rating: Explicit
OMG! What a ride this story was! Once I started to read the first chapter, I could not stop! It just sucked me into the story’s world and I felt like I was actually there seeing the action and environment that the author was describing. This story keeps you in suspense and on your toes for what is going to happen next in this crazy Mafia AU. The relationship between Levi and Mikasa is magnificently done as they come to realize they have more in common than they think. I enjoy LittleWhisper’s work and I recommend checking out more of their works.
- The Taste of Pomegranate
Author: alienheartattack
Rating: Teen/Explicit
I have to say that I would have not expected me to like a Ballet AU story for Rivamika, but I absolutely enjoy every second while reading this one. The way the author creates the tension between Mikasa and Levi is splendidly done in this story. There are two more one-shots that follow after the original fic but they honestly feel like two more chapters that are just continuing with the story. I would certainly read the two one-shots after your finish reading part 1, you will not regret it!
- The Song Remains the Same
Author: MoraLeeWright
Rating: Mature
I enjoy MoraLeeWright’s writing so much! I think I binged read this story in about a day, I couldn’t stop myself. This fic does a really great job of slowly building the relationship between Mikasa and Levi. It gives their perspectives on the challenges they are facing together as well as the conflicting feelings each have about the growing bond between the two of them. I know that this is a Rivamika classic among fans but if you have yet to read it, definitely check this story out!
Ongoing:
- Who Are You Calling a Bitch?
Author: xx_ciela
Rating: Mature
I was terrified that this fic would not ever get updated again, but good news its BACK! I am so excited to see where the story leads and whats going to happen to Mikasa, Levi and the other characters that are present. WAYCAB does an amazing job of mixing and twisting many different types of lore together to pull you into this fantasy type AU. Just when you think you have finally received the answers to your questions, it only lead to more questions lol. This story will keep you pensive and excited to find out what exactly is going on in this city. Its a slow burn in regards to Mikasa and Levi’s relationship, but I have a feeling that the wait will be well worth it. Undoubtedly recommend checking this out and leaving a comment for the author telling you want more!
- I Just Miss A Good Cup Of Tea
Author: EJelly
Rating: Mature
I discover this fic because of how it was blowing up in the Rivamika tag on tumblr lol. I’m soo happy that I decided on checking it out because I binged read the 28 chapters that were out already. Attack on Titan meets The Walking Dead in this baby. The way that EJelly writes action is spectacular, it feels like I’m watching a TV show. I also love the way they write in each character’s POV in order for you to understand the mind set of the characters during this zombie apocalypse. The relationship between Levi and Mikasa is beautifully built over the course of this story and I cannot wait to find out what lies ahead of them. Again, another slow burn that I have a feeling will be well worth the wait (it already has been)! Go check it out and leave a comment telling EJelly that you are excited for more!
- Just Until The Storm Has Gone (?)
Author: MoraLeeWright
Rating: Explicit
Put a question mark by this one because I’m not sure if this is still ongoing or not. Regardless of that, I urge everyone to go read this indescribable work of art. MoraLeeWright’s writing has just blossomed into such beauty and she does nothing but keep getting better as time goes on (I don’t even know how that is possible but she doing the damn thing). JUTSHG is in a class of its own, for me, in the world of Rivamika fics. This baby is from Mikasa’s perspective and it delves into her psyche as she is dealing with the after affects of war. Her relationship with Levi is so mesmerizing in this story and the way that MoraLeeWright creates their smut scenes is so yummy I just want to eat it for lunch. I can’t even call it smut because its so much more than that. You can feel the connection of two souls finally finding the other they have been looking for as well as passion they have for each other. I could go on about how much I LOVE this story but I’ll stop. This one is on my top 3 favorite Rivamika fics of all time.
Incomplete:
- No Rest for the Wicked
Author: Hallow17
Rating: Explicit
Freaking love this story and I’m SOOO SAD that its incomplete! Mikasa has to deal with the paranormal while also running a business in this fic. The budding relationship between Levi and Mikasa is well paced and so gracefully displayed that even though it is an incomplete story, it’s well worth reading the 19 chapter that have already been published. Everything you could ask for in a paranormal story is presented; ghost, action, spirits, and lots of angst! This is such a unique story its literally burned into my brain and I will never forget it. I hope that Hallow17 miraculously comes back to finish this baby off one day!
- Romance and Rivalry
Author: AmayaOkami
Rating: Explicit
I AM SO HEARTBROKEN THAT THIS STORY IS NOT COMPLETE I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN MY FEELINGS!!! Ugh, this story is soo freakin good! I know that this is another story that is popular in the Rivamika community but I have no choice but to put it here! The build up in this story is amazing that you can’t wait to read the next chapter to see what happens with Mikasa and Levi. This is such a great take on a typical romantic trope but AmayaOkami puts so much personality into the characters that it gives off such a fun and exciting vibe. The comedy and awkwardness is displayed so well that I have to stop reading because I get bad second hand embarrassment lol! Omg please read it even though its incomplete, its too much fun to pass up on. AMAYAOKAMI PLEASE I BEG YOU COME BACK AND FINISH THIS RIVAMIKA ROMCOM I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!
One-Shot:
- Intertwining
Author: Livysan
Rating: Explicit
I’m staring off these one-shots with two of my favorite Rivamika “smut” stories. This is such a wonderfully written love scene between Mikasa and Levi. Livysan really expresses the yearning passion that Levi and Mikasa have for each and unfolds it in such a sweet and loving way. A must for any Rivamika fan to read.
- Until the Stars Disappear
Author: noiresetoiles
Rating: Mature
This is just an exquisitely done love scene between Levi and Mikasa I almost have no words for it. Its just down right BEAUTIFUL that pretty much all I can do to describe it. I really enjoyed how noiresetoiles decided to not use any dialogue in this story, it really shows how Mikasa and Levi’s actions tell how they really feel about each other. Again, a must read for Rivamika fans.
- Clean-Shaven
Author: hashire
Rating: Mature
The cute domestic fluff that we need from Levi and Mikasa! This is a one-shot but it is part of hashire’s Happily Ever After collection. The whole collection is about the domestic bliss between Mikasa and Levi after the war has come to an end. I definitely recommend reading the entire collection, you will not be sorry.
- Pure Dawn
Author: sulkyfuckingcat
Rating: Explicit
A Holiday AU that has sexual tension and smut? Count. Me. In. Pure Dawn has all the build up and smutiness that any Rivamika fan needs if they are craving it. Go check it out if you haven’t, I know that its pretty popular in the Rivamika community and I can see why lol.
- Begging for Thread
Author: villanelle
Rating: Explicit
I believe that this one has been talked about a lot in the Rivamika community but I still have to leave it here just in case someone hasn’t heard about it. Its a must read. Written from the perspective of Levi the story explores his mindset as he is trying to deal with his emotions towards Mikasa. Mikasa has some taunting tendencies in this fic which I love as well.
- Looking Into the Heart of Light
Author: hashire
Rating: Explicit
Again, another domestic bliss fic about an eventful evening between Levi and Mikasa. Its a pretty quick read but its too cute to pass up. If your looking for a quick Rivamika fix then this is the fic for you.
#rivamika#levimika#levikasa#mikasa x levi#levi x mikasa#rivamika fic#fanfic#im bored in quarantine#so im reading
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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)
I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol
In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.
It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol
Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.
Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.
Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.
Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕
#zircon answers#anonymous#all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like#alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol#like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing#but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out#i really wish more people were like#willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen#because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people#they were just scared for their favorite thing#i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew#but they were all really nice after we talked things out#and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly#death mention tw//
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Hello! Just wanted to stop by (hopefully not being a bother) and say I have recently just went through all of your red dead fics on ao3 and wow. I've gotten into a/b/o fics more after reading yours! But also your amidst fic made me feel all types of things, and I know however it ends will leave me messy with f e e l i n g s. And I want to prematurely thank you for those feelings xP. I was also wondering, if that's alright, how your writing process is like? You put in a lot of words in amidst and some of your other fics. Do you make outlines? Do you first write down ideas for a chapter/fic and then draft it out? Are there scenes you add/take out? Is there a length goal you usually set for yourself? You don't have to answer, but I wish you well and thank you for fics that brightened my life a little!
LONG POST!
omg, hello anon! your ask 100% got lost in my notifs, so I just wanna start this off by saying you aren't a bother whatsoever!
in fact: I love receiving asks about my fics, as well as opening up about the writing that takes to get them to you guys!
so I'm gonna start this reply off with a quick thank you about my works! I'm so happy you're enjoying or have enjoyed what I've written.
RDR2/Arthur Morgan is a pleasure to write about, but I've also really enjoyed the fandom. it's been one of the sweetest and most supportive, and I've found one of my best literary periods with you guys! so thank you! :>
but enough pitter patter about that-- let's get to the fun stuff!
since you had a few questions, I'm gonna answer these in a separated list so it'll be easy to follow along! :)
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What is your writing process like?
well, in truth anon, I don't exactly have much of one.
that may surprise some, and others not. in truth, I think that sometimes the idea or concept of a "writing process" kind of scares anyone trying to get into writing.
I'm not sure if you are, anon, but your questions just make me want to cover this, just in case.
writing should come to you how it comes. I'm definitely NOT a textbook writer. I don't have a method where I have cardinal rules and a set up I have to have.
I simply embrace when inspiration strikes. usually while listening to music or absorbing some other media. frankly, if you treat writing like a science, you're gonna get stuck. it isn't an issue you have to fix, or a challenge you have to tackle.
allow yourself to get comfortable and just think whatever comes your way mentally. even if you think an idea is bad, encourage it! you can't write if you don't let yourself think.
so for me, I suppose my "process" is just encouraging my writing and for my brain to pop out ideas or scenes. just write away and see where it takes you!
You use a lot of words-- do you outline by chance?
ah yes. I am a wordy potato, frankly. albeit ACW is an overall outlier at being ALMOST A MILLION WORDS. even then, I don't think any of my over fics have ever really gotten past 150k, and I believe only ONE had done so.
this was... not by design.
believe it or not, I intended ACW to actually be short. 6 chapters like the game and boom, done. I thought I could summarize everything and just show snippets of a growing relationship between Arthur and my unintentional OC, Wolf. it almost would've been like a one-shot just broken up into chapters for homage sake.
but then I overplotted the prologue and next thing I knew, ACW had become this massive, sprawling monster of a slow-burn.
as for outlines... I don't necessarily outline. I'll explain this more in my next response. :)
Do you write a summary of a chapter or fic down, then draft afterward?
so in terms of summary, no. these stories live in my head, and I tend to feel that writing things down is more of a waste of time for me.
my brain flies through stories at such quick speeds I feel like I will lose my spark or my ideas if I take a second to write things down.
I am known to do audio recordings where I talk about my writing though. this is an amazing way to brainstorm on the fly, and some of my best ideas have come from just voicing what I'd like to see happen aloud. additionally: the recordings are a good way to keep track of what I've said and want, just like an outline!
otherwise I don't outline. I'm not sure what the terminology is, but I apparently go after my stories a lot like Stephen King does.
write first, worry about the rest later. I'm very much a "swim and swim even if you're sinking" because I would rather put the work in than fool with floaties to keep myself up.
personally this works wonders for me, as I don't like restraining myself or my head once I'm in motion. it doesn't end well if I do-- like snuffing a candle. I just go for it and I will make sense of it later.
even so, I have general ideas for what I want to happen, and I remember my basic outlines. the details come later, as long as the big picture is visible to me.
as for ACW: the only "outlines" I did was timing of the game missions. just to make sure I didn't miss major happenings, and that I had the timing in a way that flowed for what I wanted both logically and narratively.
as for drafts, I also don't draft. again, I go for it. that being said, I have restarted updates a couple of times, or have deleted entire scenes out of dissatisfaction. most of the time though, it's one and done for me! and it's all done on the fly. :)
Are there scenes you add/remove?
as mentioned above, yes. I have deleted a lot of content from ACW. some ideas never came to, but more often than not, it was repackaged in a way I liked better. so if anything, content was recycled and you all still got to see it in some way.
but there are some things that I want to do that just aren't possible. like many stranger missions. there's no good way to include certain events or characters in ACW without derailing what is going on. so alas: aberdeen pig farm is not a stop on Arthur and Wolf's itinerary.
but for another example, I wanted to showcase more of Wolf's past with her father (specifically her shut in life before his death), and I wanted scenes and more examples of her being disconnected unlike everyone else as a result.
these will come as flashbacks or other scenes in the upcoming chapters, but I intend to add these changes or additions during my revisions! :>
Is there usually a length goal you set?
as for word goals, I never quite had any apart from "at least 20k words" just because that was usually my average, I noticed.
additionally, this made sure I didn't end chapters without putting the bare minimum of content in them, and to have solid continuity. can you imagine have a 20k update and then a 3k one? no thanks!
20k just became my running baseline, after that. otherwise, my limit is when AO3 reaches theirs for the character limit (fence why some updates were split into multiple pieces).
with my other stories, I simply write until the story is properly paced or finished: however long it takes!
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whew! what a post!
but I hoped that gave you some more insight, anon.
writing is crazy, and I'm always learning something new. more now than ever, since I'm looking into actually getting something original submitted for publication.
if you (or anyone reading this) are inspired to write yourself, don't be discouraged! writing is one of the most intensive forms of creation. it's not easy. it's not instant. it's a lot of passion and time, let alone a utilization of language and grammar fluency!
it's easy to feel overwhelmed or lost, or feel like it's better to not try than struggle to start. but I can assure, writing is such a splendid thing to do. write for enjoyment, or pleasure, or simply because you want to.
as long as your story isn't intended to be hateful, is your own work, and is fun for you to create... what else matters?
if you want some additional inspiration, just know that I started writing fic in 2012/2013 and have gone through so much in my near TEN YEARS of fic writing. I've learned a lot, and I've grown so much!
be proud of yourself no matter where you are at and start from, and pride yourself in your progress or beginnings.
just go for it! you may surprise yourself!
hope you're having a good one, anon. and thanks for the ask! :)
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hi u don’t have to post this but i just wanna vent ab the drama earlier cause it’s giving me anxiety and i can’t stop thinking ab it lol. (also ur blog is a very safe place for me and i feel like i’m able to speak safely here ♥️) i feel like everyone has pretty much dropped the whole ordeal but i can’t help but feel irritated by the little jabs that some ppl are making at that blog —
— i feel like it’s been taken too far and these bigger blogs are low key just bull*ing now. like one went as far as to put something in her bio and it just didn’t sit right w me. idk i’m probs just being dramatic but i’m just seeing ppl drag this on with their sorta malicious posts and it’s fucked up cause it’s like everybody’s ganging up on her —
— i just don’t want anybody to be so affected that they delete or something. or i’m just reading too much into little posts and giving myself all this anxiety for no reason lmao. n e ways ty for answering all of your sweet anons. i’m seeing your posts on my dash and it’s making me feel a lot better 🥺
I’d like to preface this response just so this anon knows that I am in no way, shape, or form trying to attack them in any way!!! I’m just attempting to educate on the situation at hand from what I’ve seen!! I’m honored that my blog is a safe space for you and I love you so very much, which is why I’m going to try and explain the circumstances of everything as best as I can 🥺 this is also the one and only post i’m gonna make about this because i want to keep this blog as drama-free and safe as possible and we should all move forward now that it’s been dealt with!!
here are two posts that i feel summarized the point really well
This blog already had a vendetta against the other blogs in question because one of them unfollowed her because the content being posted made her uncomfortable. Unfollowing is valid and it is unproblematic, to be honest!! If you don’t like the content someone is posting, the logical and peaceful move is to unfollow to avoid any future issues.
But the blog that instigated the trouble was angry about it and then piggybacked off this vendetta and tried to call the other two blog racists because apparently they weren’t “posting enough about the BLM movement” and about the current political and societal relations. However, both of the blogs being targeted HAVE posted about the George Floyd situation and have done what they can to spread awareness. The blog that instigated the issue was basically trying to police their participation because apparently it wasn’t up to her standards and she was saying that continuing to post about regular content is some type of crime because everyone’s blogs should just be solely about the cause at this moment. That is the stance she took. She then dragged the other two blogs by saying that posting concepts and harry content is somehow racist because they’re focusing on something other than just the BLM movement.
But the thing is, this situation isn’t a competition. It isn’t a game. This is real, and any amount of awareness and help is valid. Whether you reblog a billion posts or ten, you are still helping spread the movement. As long as your support is provided in one way or another, that’s all that matters.
Anything you do to help the cause is valid and no one should ever discredit the effort others put in because the fact that they’re putting it in is what MATTERS. Giving every waking moment to one cause is difficult and definitely not good for your mental health so it’s okay to take breaks and not be on top of everything 100% of the time. We’re human, not robots. People do what they can to help and let it be known that it counts. Escapism isn’t a crime. It’s okay to want to reblog other things that make you happy and make this time more bearable. It’s okay to post about content that helps you relieve stress because constantly providing your entire soul to a situation this severe can be draining and deteriorating. There is nothing wrong about participating in the movement, spreading awareness, and then taking time to indulge yourself in things that will help keep you sane. It’s what’s right for not only yourself, but for others around you because then you’re helping each other feel better and that is a beautiful and powerful thing.
The blog that started all the drama claimed to be an ally, but then proceeded to tear down black women (aka from the community she is allegedly defending) in the fandom because they disagree with her extreme measures. Then, one of these blogs started receiving hateful, racist comments because she dared speak out against that blog. That’s not right. How DARE YOU try and invalidated the opinion and argument of someone who is directly impacted by what is happening right now. It’s immature and it shows that your argument was never about helping their community, but instead it was to make yourself look better than others because apparently the amount of content you reblog about this topic somehow determines whether you support it or not??? That’s utter crap. ANY amount of content spread about the situation helps. Like I said, whether it’s a few posts or a billion, you are helping either way. And claiming someone is racist is a steep accusation that has to be supported by valid proof, not just “oh well they’re continuing to post regular content so they MUST be racist.” That doesn’t add up!!!!
Helping create a safe space where people can come to take a mental breather shouldn’t be antagonized!!!!
This is why everyone is infuriated. Because a girl tried to use an important societal movement as a tool to fuel her revenge for some petty tumblr drama. She’s not being attacked, she’s facing the consequences for her actions. Things were bad, but they got worse when she had the audacity to discredit the voice of black people who tried to educate her. You can’t claim to be an ally and then tear down the person you claim to be protecting just because they disagreed with you. It’s hypocritical and shows your true intentions.
That’s really all I have to say on it, and I hope I didn’t upset you or anything!! I just wanted to kinda update you on everything and make it clear as to why everything is happening the way it is. I’m always here if you need to talk!!! And I’m truly so happy that me and my anons can make you smile during such a rough time 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 it’s all I could ever want 💞
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Remember that one time I wrote a Tangled AU?
Context
During 2016, I submitted a few stories for Tagatha Ship Week. Not my best work, but some of my most known works nonetheless. Amongst those, I had a Tangled AU that was originally meant to be a one shot (which has been deleted because sweet lord that was bad), then turned into a draft for a multichapter story and then turned into this cursed WIP I completely forgot about, which you can find on both Ao3 and FF.net under the name of ‘blinking in the starlight’.
Every once in a while someone comes across it, as it was the case with ‘if you’re not the bride’ and it would remind me of its existence. But unlike IYNTB, I have no interest in rewriting it or continuing this story.
A few weeks ago I found the original draft for ‘blinking in the starlight’ in my dad’s old computer, so I thought I might do a post no one asked for (some people did, you guys are great, humoring me like that) on what the plot was supposed to be.
But after sitting with it I wasn’t fully satisfied (as usual, fml). So, like the clown that I am, I decided that since we are already here, might as well make it into an actual AU post, mind my language, I’m frustrated.
Blinking In The Starlight: Tangled AU
Okay, so I’m gonna presume that you read the WIP, so if you didn’t, maybe check that out first and then come back to this post. Or don’t, it’s not like it’s a very complex narrative anyway.
Many, many years before this story starts, there was a cruel sorcerer named Rafal.
He tormented the Endless Woods for centuries, extorting kingdoms and stuff, you know, very much a two-dimensional character whose motivations I definitely did not think through. Being evil I guess?
No one could defeat him, because he always somehow ended up knowing the traps were coming and was two steps ahead. No one knew how, so they just like, presumed it was because he was psychic or something.
Until one day, a young vain prince named Arthur of Camelot decides to order a hunt to the big blue falcons, to get their feathers as a present to the girl he was courting, one Lady Guinevere.
Would you believe those birds were Rafal’s spies? Now that everyone was hunting them, they could no longer listen in as easily.
So when Prince Arthur campaigns against Rafal’s evilness and challenges him to a duel in which he tricks the sorcerer and defeats him, stripping him of most his powers (and therefore his immortality), everyone was shook
Don’t ask me how he did it, I honestly do not know
But instead of killing Rafal, Arthur agrees to spare his mortal life as long as he gives him a powerful love potion for Guinevere and never shows his face around Camelot ever again.
Rafal is pissed, but says sure why not, because he knew Arthur would be crushed once the potion effects wore off and Guinevere left him anyway
So yeah, they became King and Queen, everyone thinks Rafal is dead, Camelot became known as the guardian kingdom of the Endless Woods alliance, yada yada.
Meanwhile, Rafal, now mortal and still pissed af, looks for a way to get his immortality back, because he is now old and tired all the time.He goes to one of his oldest allies and they tell him a rumor about a woman named Vanessa who found a way to stay young forever using a bird.
It takes a few years for him to track her down, but when he does, he tries to convince her to show him the bird. Vanessa is like that sounds like a you problem, so he threatens her and she tells him she ate it to save her life during her pregnancy (do not ask me how this works, why she couldn’t have healed herself like usual, I don’t know okay)
Rafal is pissed again, because Vanessa was still looking young, so either she lied or she was omitting something and decides you know what, screw you and murders everyone, trying to find the damned bird.
But then he hears soft singing from the closet. A little girl named Sophie, who apparently had inherited the bird’s ability to restore youth.
First, he thinks of raising her as his daughter. But then, one day she’d try to leave him for a boy, so he decides to trick her into thinking he was that boy, so she’d never want to leave him.
He sells her this bullshit story about everything being a fairytale like the ones her books, makes himself look like a teenager and tells her he is now going to take care of her because they are true loves and whatnot
Using the money from his previous evilness (why am I like this), he builds a tower and gaslights the hell out of her telling her is was to keep the danger outside, when actually he was caging her in. Her guards are all mercenaries and her maids are kidnaped slaves so, hm, that’s nice
He keeps visiting her to restore his youth, but he needs the macguffin Arthur used to take away his immortality (I didn’t specify what it was in my draft, so let’s say its Excalibur, for the sake of storytelling) to restore his full greatness, so he starts a long-long-plan to overthrow Camelot once he gets him hands on the sword.
However, Sophie is a person of her own, even being manipulated and gaslighted. She wants to go outside and see the world. Obviously Rafal won’t let her, and even gives her a ring to summon him and stuff, so she won’t think about going anywhere out of his sight.
But she ends up doing it anyway because she’s Sophie
Now hold on a minute.
Back in Camelot, Arthur has already died, Guinevere ran off with Lancelot and Tedros is a brat, walking around with Excalibur (not knowing how powerful it actually is) playing glorified police officer for the royal guard as a way to prove he’ll be a good king someday.
Festival season is approaching and prince Teddy is on a man-hunt (woman-hunt?) for the thief that has been ambushing noble carriages.
They have some good banter, but the thief always manages to distract him and get away.
Guess who is the thief
It’s Agatha, leave me alone, I was 15 and loved cliches, shut up
Yes, I know I’m now almost 19 and still love cliches, moving on
Agatha is stealing money from the rich like a robin hood pro, because festival season is expensive and poor people need to eat okay
But prince-holier-than-thou keeps showing up so she decides to be petty and steal directly from him. Girl just wanted some gold, but ends up with Excalibur because Tedros is an idiot
So he chases her through the woods for days on end, hot on her trail, and Aric gets caught on the crossfire between them. Agatha presumes from his uniform that there is a castle near and decides to hide there.
Tagatha ends up in Sophie’s tower, and she hides Excalibur to bargain with them.
She strikes a deal with Tedros to show her the festival in exchange for Excalibur.
Agatha is just f this shit im out, she didn’t want the sword in the first place and last thing she needs is going to Camelot with a pseudo-police-officer.
But then Tedros realizes he doesn't know how to go back to Camelot and Sophie makes him promise not to turn Agatha in. Agatha is still skeptical, so he promises to lift taxes for the lower classes and she agrees to be their unofficial guide back to Camelot.
Princes can't break promises, don’t ask
The three of them escape the tower.
Shenanigans ensue.
There’s a scene of Agatha helping people in a tavern and Tedros is like???? she nice????
Sophie finding out that the old wizard from her story was the guy King Arthur supposedly killed and doubting Rafal’s lies.
There’s Tedros explaining his need to be just and abide by the laws all the time due to the pressure of his father’s rep after the three of them nearly die of hypothermia (?)
Sophie telling them about her talent.
Very wholesome really.
Meanwhile tho, Aric finally manages to alert Rafal that Sophie left, and Rafal summons his birds to look for her, figuring out that she had Excalibur (how? Idk)
When the trio reaches Camelot, it’s still a few days before the festival. Agatha says she is done and needs to be on her way, but Tedros (softly, may I add) asks her to stay, at least until the lantern scene/day/tradition/thingy
Their unspoken feelings are all over the place and Sophie decides to play matchmaker.
They stay in an inn (why did Tedros not sneak them into the castle, you ask? I don’t know, don’t ask) and Sophie makes the guy tell them there is only two rooms. She then makes up some balloney about wanting to be by herself, so Agatha and Tedros share a room.
Yeah, you know what I’m doing, don’t you: there’s only one bed.
Some other tropes for a very fluffy chapter equivalent of the score of Kingdom Dance, which is my favorite song in the Tangled Soundtrack, fight me, is such a good ‘falling in love montage’ song
But the fluff doesn’t last long, because the very night of the festival, just as you can almost hear Tagatha singing ‘and at last I see the light’, Rafal’s birds find Sophie and take off her ring by force.
Rafal crashes the festival, stealing Excalibur from Sophie and unleashing his coupe against Camelot, back to being immortal and super over-powered.
He throws Sophie back in her tower, and when she doesn't comply and asks him to stop we have a ‘I never loved you’ ‘you were always just a bird to me, a dumb bird’ moment and Sophie is just destroyed because aside from her new friends (whom she believed were dead) Rafal is all she has.
Back in Camelot, complete mayhem is being wrecked, bloodshed and stuff. Agatha manages to rescue Tedros before his execution and they figure out that they need to rescue Sophie and get Excalibur to kill Rafal for good.
“Insert part one of TLEA here”, bitch, I kid you not, that’s exactly what I wrote wtf even is this draft
Somehow it all leads into this big confrontation, in which Sophie strips Rafal of his immortality using the sword but can’t bring herself to kill him. So she asks Tedros to do it, so he can prove himself to his kingdom.
I do not know where Agatha is during this, but I’m pretty sure she’s like, fatally wounded or something
Rafal reveals to Tedros why Arthur spared his life the first time and offers him a potion to make Agatha return his (already mutual, you idiot) feelings.
Tedros is like, nah, I’m gonna kill you, and Rafal is like are you sure she won’t just ride off and leave you like your mama?
And Tedros is just, honestly, man, I’m not, but I’m not gonna force her. Then some analogy about caging birds and Rafal is dead.
Yey, happy ending.
So Tedros and Agatha are left in this limbo, because she poor and she a criminal and he a prince.
Tedros decides to have Agatha take the glory of killing Rafal to redeem her in the public eye, grants her a title, she makes Sophie her lady-in-waiting and they all live happily ever after the end.
#school for good and evil#The School for Good and Evil#school for good and evil series#blinking in the starlight#sge#Sophie of Woods Beyond#Agatha of Woods Beyond#tedros of camelot#Tagatha#tagatha ship week 2016#Rafal
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