#delete later if my manifestion fails | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eth3real-ess3nce · 2 years

Note

Manifestation tips?

Honestly it's time to talk about this 😅 I want to share some of the experiences I've had.

What I have learned about manifesting, is that it always comes with a price. This is mostly true in cases where you're NOT ready for the things you're requesting for.

I know this might sound awful to some, but trust me when I say this. However, keep reading if you will, so I can better explain myself ❤️

One or two years ago, I was a lonely girl. I wanted to manifest a relationship. Also I want to mention here that I did that with my best friend. We were very specific with our desires, even. We'd say "oh, I want him to have this and that". I don't intend to write here these two qualities because they're a bit embarrassing 🤣

Next thing I know, I find myself downloading Tinder. Amongst the unbearable process of finding a good match (😂) I found him. Shortly after exchanging social media accounts, we both deleted the Tinder app. Chemistry was crazy. I was feeling in love. He had stated that he wanted to keep it going with me because he saw a future. We'd plan on vacations, dates, etc. I was on cloud 9 for weeks. He even seemed to correspond to my emotional needs and that I could trust him wholeheartedly.

We only went on one date. It was dreamy, but the situation started going downhill. A few days later, I started becoming a bit paranoid and afraid that he wouldn't act right with me. I'm not this person now, but when I was, I wanted to have full control of how a situationship would go. I'd only be pleased when I knew that the other person needed me more than I needed him , that I was 100% certain about his intentions towards me. This is when my manifestation only started to backfire.

Can you guess what happened, eventually?

He ghosted me. Out of nowhere. Confirming my biggest fears AND my biggest disgust; cowardice. (Note that I never ever acted crazy or controlling towards him, so in fact I didn't intentionally "push" him away.)

I was left heartbroken. For days, I'd be depressed and angry. Needless to say my best friend's relationship failed as well.

Wanna know why that occured?

I attempted to manifest something I energetically wasn't aligned with. If your heart carries unresolved pain and resentment, if your self-esteem is not high enough, if you are trying to reach for something out of desperation to fulfill your unmet emotional needs, it will backfire. And it will give you exactly the energy you're subconsciously putting out there.

So, it doesn't matter what manifestation methods you are using or how hard you try to stay positive and believe in it. Your first and foremost task is to dive deep. Take a look at your core beliefs.

What are core beliefs, and why do they matter?

Core beliefs are our most deeply held assumptions about ourselves, the world, and others. They are firmly embedded in our thinking and significantly shape our reality and behaviors. In fact, nothing matters more than our core beliefs.

Let's do it with examples.

You want to manifest money. What was your main belief about money while growing up? How would your parents handle it? Did they make you feel guilty and that they must work their asses off in order to get what you wanted? Did they state that money is root of all evil? Were you brought up in poverty? The collective poverty issue is that money is linked with survival. If you view money as your only method to survive, you instantly vibrate in a low," desperate " energy, therefore no results. I am not saying this in a judgemental way I am just explaining how it universally works. I grew up in a poor household and my parents would guilt trip me all the time about money, so for all my years of living, I was never in a receptive state. As an adult I'd work my ass off 12 hour shifts for a shitty paycheck because subconsciously I thought I had to suffer in order to receive money, just like my parents did. I would reject offerings, or believe that I wasn't worthy of them. Key-word worthy. I'm telling you, the moment you start viewing money as a TOOL to do things instead of a way of surviving, your life will become much more convenient financially. I promise you because I've been practicing it. And guess what? I don't have to listen to subliminals all night and do spell work anymore. I am just in a state where I am able to receive. It is not an easy process, but it is the most effective and promising. The moment your perspective on money changes, you will naturally start to train yourself to get it.

You want to manifest a loving relationship. Again, let's take a look at your core beliefs. Think role models. How was the relationship between your parents growing up? Did you have an absent opposite-sex parent? What does love mean for you? Did you know that 9/10 times we attract our opposite sex parents in our relationships, if we haven't healed? Psychology talks about this a lot. If for example, as a woman, your father was non-committal and addicted to substances, it's very likely that you will attract partners that function in the same way. Basically you are seeking the emotional validation your parent didn't give you, through your romantic relationships. Another group of people have 0 experience in love and have this burning desire to get to know how it feels like. But the trap here is that they feel behind in life therefore they act out of 'desperation'. No such thing as 'behind in life', buddies! This is just society's fictional deadlines and expectations, which have also shaped your core beliefs. Another common core belief could be "oh I have to be handsome and attractive and really smart in order to be loved by someone". This by no means serves you, because you let superficial things define your WORTH as a human being. Let me make this one thing clear, your worth must not be defined by your physical appearance, achievements, intelligence, skills. This is one of the main reasons the collective is suffering so much. We tend to believe that a romantic relationship will free us from all our pain, unfulfilled emotional needs and satisfy our thirst for affection. This is a destructive mindset that only serves repeating toxic patterns leaving you hurt in the end. Therapy could help you simplify these things in your mind (because each case is different) and therefore make it easier for you to be receptive towards love. Accepting love not out of desperation, but because you're simply worthy of it and worthy of experiencing its full, purest form. To love means to expand, to learn, everything good. Why repel it by chasing it ? Again, this is a very serious and complicated matter so it would be beneficial for you to do shadow work / start therapy or I suggest starting with watching well-informing videos like this and this

Now you might wonder: what about manifesting simple things like objects or something that would casually be convenient in my everyday life? I'd say go for it. But the tip for effectiveness is this ; re-shaping your core beliefs into being receptive. If you acknowledge that you are powerful enough to change what you don't like about yourself and your reality, you will eventually have it.

Only using manifestation methods without doing the inner work is ineffective, because a negative self belief is clashing with a positive thing you're trying to bring into reality.

As you expand and radiate love and calmness instead of desperation and fear, your desires will come naturally to you. And manifesting will become an effortless thing for you.

I truly hope I helped. ❤️😊

#manifestation tips #anon #manifesting

69 notes · View notes

iamdeku · 2 years

Text

Probability: Teacher!Deku x Reader

“Teacher deku falling for another teacher! Thank you I love you'r writing it's so cute” I love this request! I work as a teacher so this was a lot of fun for me to do, haha. I’m sorry it’s so late! I hope there’s enough romance in this one for you. I’m a little rusty, so go easy on me. Warnings: I did not proofread. It’s midnight and I have work tomorrow so I have nothing to say in my own defense. Might delete this later honestly but hey at least it exists. Also the formatting on this one is slightly stupid because Tumblr sucks.

You loved your job a lot. You had always liked kids, but you also knew from a pretty young age that you wanted to be a hero. Being able to do both was your dream, something you had never even known to hope for until Principal Nezo had shown up at the tail end of one of your missions, a knowing smile on his face parallel to the confused wrinkle of your sweat smudged brow.

“I’d like to offer you a job.”

7 words that had changed your life. You guessed 7 was a lucky number after all. Then again, maybe luck had nothing to do with it. Most things came down to probability.

“So, class, who can tell me which is better? Relying more on your powers or relying more on your individual skills?”

Several hands shot up. You had anticipated this. From the beginning of the year, you had noticed your students took very different approaches to their powers and there was a hot debate about whose approach would lead to them being “the best”, Japan’s #1 hero.

“Kori, what do you think?” You point out the young girl, her hair as white as the ice her powers produced.

“Relying on your powers will give you the edge you need to defeat the enemy. They’re what give us that individual edge. Without our quirks we wouldn’t be heroes at all.”

You couldn’t help the small smirk that crossed your face.

“Well, there’s one more person I’d like to ask. Deku?” You looked up at the man standing in your doorway. “What do you think?”

For being the number one hero in the country, Midoriya could be terribly shy when put in the spotlight. He blushed from the bottom of his neck to the roots of his deep green hair. He had probably hoped to go unseen until the end of the class when you two traded places and he gave instruction while you observed.

You were still on probation and one of the conditions of being a new hire at U.A. with no prior teaching experience was that one of the senior faculty had to sponsor you. Midoriya had been kind enough to volunteer, so you observed his classes when you weren’t teaching your own. Right now though, an outsider could have mistaken your roles for being reversed with the way Midoriya looked like he was training to manifest an invisibility quirk.

“Well, uh…” He recovered quickly, flashing a huge smile. “The thing is, neither is more important. If you forget about one or the other, you’re bound to fail sooner or later. Some villains will have quirks that give them an advantage over ours, which is when it’s important to have a strong sense of your individual skills and power outside of your quirk, things like using your environment to your favor and being skilled at physical combat. However, our quirks can give us a powerful advantage when used correctly, and it’s very difficult to fight villains with powerful quirks using raw human skill alone.”

“Very good, Deku. I couldn’t have said it better myself.” You glanced up at the clock, seeing you were nearly out of time. “Alright class. Your homework this week is to write me a paper about the advantages of quirk-based fighting styles versus quirkless fighting styles and report back to me. Also, keep an eye out for trick questions. I might give you a pass, but Aizawa will not. Now get out of here!”

Your students quickly started packing their things, getting ready to head back to the dorms or to their next class. You were almost done for the day. Midoriya had one more class to teach and then you were off the hook. You were thinking about going out tonight, a reward for the long week you had been through. Fridays always sucked a little bit. The student’s attention span was never as good as you wanted it to be.

You cleared your desk off quickly, making space for Midoriya to take over. You shuffled your pens into the cup at the edge of the desk, snatching the slim black water bottle off the corner before heading for the back of the classroom. Sometimes you sat closer to the front so you could see what Midoriya was doing better but you knew today was one of his lecture days, meaning all you had to do was listen. You loved lecture days because it meant you could get a little lazy. Technically no one could prove you weren’t listening and if you hadn’t had enough coffee, well…there were no guarantees.

Midoriya stopped you on your way back though, a warm, broad hand coming to rest lightly on your shoulder. You had always liked the way he touched you, unobtrusive, gentle and kind.

“So…” he started. “Today’s the big day.”

You nodded, excitement filling you at the reminder.

“How do you feel about your probation period finally being over?” he asked.

“Honestly?” you asked. “I’m torn. It’s going to be awesome being able to run my classes independently, but I think I’ll miss getting to observe your classes and have your guidance.”

Midoriya averted his gaze, teeth grazing his lower lip. “Well, about that…”

“What?” you asked, alarmed. “Is something wrong? Was I supposed to continue my observations? I didn’t get enough hours, did I? I knew it.”

“No! No, that’s not it at all,” he reassured you. “I was just thinking it might be nice if we didn’t have to stop spending time with each other.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was thinking now that I’m no longer going to be your mentor it wouldn’t be completely inappropriate of me to uh…ask you out?” He stammered through the words, ever awkward.

You were taken aback by the proposal. You had always harbored a secret crush on the hunky pro-hero, but he was so quiet you never would have though that he had returned the feelings. Despite you drooling over him every class he had never made any advances. You had sort of given up on him halfway through the year, assuming he would never see you that way.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, long-held crush reigniting.

“Um, I would, I would like that, if, I mean, if you would like that, of course, because obviously I care about what you like and if you would like that, also,” you stammered.

Damn. You sounded even more awkward than he did.

You were rewarded with a smile anyway, Midoriya’s whole face lighting up at your response.

“I would like that very much! Should we go this weekend? I know a good place we could to Saturday. You know, if would like that also,” he teased.

“I would in fact like that also,” you said, regaining your confidence.

“Good. I’ll pick you up?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“What are the odds I would get to mentor someone as wonderful as you?” he asked, smiling softly down at you.

“The probability seems pretty good, actually.”

#teacher!deku #prohero!deku #agedup!midoriya #deku x reader #izuku midoriya #mha #bnha

103 notes · View notes

thegirlwiththelilactattoo · 11 months

Text

No. 10, or Chapter 2: Electric Boogaloo

Introduction

In my first dissertation chapter, I found it exceptionally challenging to parse out what a chapter was supposed to look like and how to articulate my ideas. These are like pretty fundamental elements of writing, so my first chapter ended up being largely unfocused. I'm a write-as-I-think sort of person, but it felt pretty discouraging to turn in writing I felt wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. After sending the draft off to my committee chair for the first round of comments, I decided I wanted to address the most glaring shortcoming of chapter one in my second chapter. This manifested as two goals: remain in control of the argument and use evidence more efficiently.

Writing Chapter Two

I started chapter two largely the same way as chapter one, with a mind map. I mentioned in a previous post how I use mind maps, so I won't rehash that here (link to that post). The argument and evidence I initially planned in my mind map didn't end up in the draft I turned in...at all. Like in my first chapter, I planned to cover a robust amount of information that ended up being entirely unreasonable to cover in a chapter -- not in the sense that there were too many ideas, but that the strands of discussion didn't amount to an actual argument. I like love to info dump, so my writing often reflects me rambling with no point because I'm excited about what I learned. I ended up chatting with my advisor in the early stages of this chapter (good idea!!) to get her feedback. While I also didn't end up incorporating what we talked about in that conversation, it helped to reframe the chapter with more focus.

Another fail this time around, was my also bad habit of doing a ton of reading before I start writing. I ended up reading a lot about new materialisms because I thought I would do a literature review in this chapter. I didn't find anything particularly interesting in the literature from new materialism or other ontological turn stuff, so instead I wasted a lot of time reading for no reason. idk if I have any coherent advice for this, but I think I learned that I need to start with the data first and then read what feels appropriate to help me write the argument. I'm a firm believer in not deleting words. Instead I move them to a different word doc (I call mine "Chp X Bits") in case I want to include those words later. My Chp 2 Bits ended up being about 10k words of different stops and starts where I tried to figure out how to enter the narrative of the chapter.

After this point, I had another committee member read my draft. This was a bad idea. In my discipline, committee members typically don't expect or want to read rough drafts or be the first pair of eyes on early writing. The committee chair is considered the first line of defense who and gives comments on the initial draft. My other committee member did give some helpful comments about my over reliance on other scholars, which for her, limited my own theoretical contributions. Not sure if other people feel this way, but I've found that grad school has chipped away at my confidence to make authoritative claims that aren't couched in some other theorists' words, so this has been really challenging for me. I took her feedback and deleted entire sections that were just me talking about other scholars. Most of the deleted text didn't appear in the finalized rough draft or if it did, it was in the footnotes as additional context.

I switched gears after this second round of feedback and made an outline of the chapter just with data I collected to ground each section. I wrote a section heading with a scant description of what the data demonstrated and then from there, reorganized the chapter to emerge more organically from the data instead of secondary scholarship. As I wrote, I also used color-coding to organize this draft: words I wanted to keep (black), paragraphs that needed to be moved (green), main ideas the section needed to cover (purple/or highlighted), and stream of consciousness to be rewritten (blue).

Like I said before, I love to info dump and having the main idea of each subsection really helped me stay focused. I also find that using different colors frees me to write messily because it's not the standard text color I'll submit. If it's in blue, I know I have to rewrite it, so it's black text. (I also do this as a write anyway. I write everything single spaced and I double space text to signal to myself that it's finalized.) The color coding also helped structure my editing process because I had a better sense of the edits I wanted to make before I sent the draft off to my chair.

What I Learned/Chapter Three Plans

I won't start writing chapter three until July as I take a "break" to edit my first chapter, work on an article, and outline chapter three. I think that I'm going to focus a lot more intentionally on using the data to structure the chapter. For this chapter, I got a lot of great feedback about the theory, rather than structure because my writing was easier to follow. Without the tangents to secondary data, my writing also felt clearer and more controlled. I did qualitative coding for my data, so I have a ton of thematic codes that I haven't really used to their full potential. I'm going to start the outline from the codes/data to keep my argument consistent.

I also think that I'll check in with my committee chair more often. Usually I meet with her once the chapters done, but having her feedback when I ran into a challenge made a big difference. Especially as I attempt to make theoretical claims sans secondary sources, I want to rely on her more for direction.

Conclusion

So yeah, that's chapter two done, which means I'm halfway done with the rough drafts of my body chapters!! Writing my dissertation has been truly an Experience that I don't think coursework/teaching prepared me for. So much of it feels like throwing anything at the wall to see if it sticks, but I think with each chapter I get closer to understanding what this part of the academic training is supposed to do.

As always if there's anything you would like me to write about, let me know!

#phdblr #studyblr #gradblr #grad school #academic writing #dissertation #writing advice #diss update #gradblogging #academia #it's exceptionally bleak that my break is to work on other writing #that's the real dark academia #are these posts interesting #i never have a sense of what's interesting and what's my own gratuitous navel gazing

4 notes · View notes

pebbles22pebbles · 1 year

Text

Paraphrasing Sky Topinka, I'm not mad, angry or sad, I just have a tormented heart.

I hate my poems in which I am ravenous and my poems about youth, because I feel so concealed in myself and trapped, I feel so defined and limited by my youth. Writing about that might seem liberating at first, but it actually only reinforces my limits.

Sometimes at night I get exhilarated thinking about so many futures. I get so anxious I can't sleep, because I think about these so many futures and all the different ways they are all in my head and I will never live them. Then I try to step back, breathe, stretch my legs beneath the blankets and I repeat to myself to be still, be here, sleep, wake up tomorrow and start living again. Since this only makes me think more about how all my dreams will be forgotten in the morning, — thus confirming my previous thought that I will never get to live out the futures my imagination designs for me — I fail to bring myself to the present. I always end up sleeping, though. Somehow. We never remember the moment we fell asleep: it is one of the greatest enchantment of life for me.

But anyway, I am going through these bad nights. Having disturbing dreams about vomiting organs entangled with snakes and getting a syringe full of rabbit's blood inserted (by a girl who is also myself) in my groin. What does this all mean? What am I going through; how can I move on?

I had the thought right now in bed that I do not feel at home here and then I started thinking about the month before I moved here and the emptiness, the longing, the goodbyes, feelings, projects, places, people, cats I left behind. Then I thought — if I were to go back it would also not be home; maybe I am at a point in my life in which it is impossible for me to feel at home; maybe I would feel more fulfilled by travelling. Where to start? Where to get the money? Where to grow the independence?

I have grown so uncomfortable with myself. I miss my solitude. I miss it so much. I miss being kind and loving and patient. But I can't keep thinking of what I need to do to improve that, because it will only make me more anxious. What I need now is to sleep, then slowly plan out simple actions to try and reduce my anxiety. Delete social media. Create a morning routine in which I write. Eat better. Eat more fruit. Drink more water. Do yoga. Read one book at a time. Plan activities to do alone, like go to the cinema or to a cafe to read and write. Invest in learning how to knit by researching and buying proper material. Commit to projects. Treat people gently. Manifest my dreams. Draw. Use more colours.

P.S. Yesterday I went to a very special cinema here in my city where they screened one if Sky Topinka's movies and he was there and there was a talk afterwards, then later in the evening the read some poetry and showed some of his short movies and even DJed with his own vynil collection that he brought all the way from New York and which included Lee Hazelwood, Nancy Sinatra, Baden Powell and Vinicius de Moraes. It was amazing. I hadn't heard of his work before but I loved it and was very touched. He is an indigenous American and the film was a poetic documentary about a tribe in Portland and inspired by their myth about the origin of death. Very beautiful. It is called Małni — towards the ocean, towards the shore.

#skytopinka #girlhood #writing #dakota warren #diary #anxiety #sleep #dreams #dream diary #new year #writers on tumblr #crisis #idk #art #future #lost

4 notes · View notes

historyhermann · 1 year

Text

“The Executioner and Her Way of Life”: An Exciting Yuri Isekai Series

On April 2, 2022, The Executioner and Her Way of Life premiered on HIDIVE. This series tells the story of an executioner named Menou tasked with killing a Japanese girl, Akari Tokitō, but not everything goes as planned...

Reprinted from The Geekiary, my History Hermann WordPress blog (it will be published on there on Dec. 28), and Wayback Machine. This was the forty-third article I wrote for The Geekiary. This post was originally published on July 1, 2022.

The Executioner and Her Way of Life is a yuri isekai adventure series directed by Yoshiki Kawasaki and written by Shōgo Yasukawa. It is based on a manga and light novel of the same name by Mato Sato.

Trigger Warning: This post mentions sensitive topics such as bullying, murder, memory loss, and kidnapping

The first season of this exciting series began powerfully. The first seven episodes follow Menou (Iori Saeki) as she tries to kill Akari (voiced by Moe Kahara). Akari has the power to turn back time. She can revive herself if anyone tries to kill her. Menou works with her loyal aide, Momo (voiced by Hisako Kanemoto), who is jealous of how close Menou and Akari are getting. She gives Akari the nickname "booblicious".

The remaining five episodes of this series continue the story with unexpected twists and turns. This includes the encroaching Pandæmonium (Anzu Haruno) and its monstrous manifestation in the port city of Libelle. All the while, a warrior princess, Ashuna (M・A・O) follows them. She has little regard for her noble status and wants to fight villains no matter what.

Akin to extreme bloodiness of episodes of The Legend of Vox Machina or fights in Helluva Boss, The Executioner and Her Way of Life becomes almost horror-like in its final arc. This includes the gruesome death of Manon Libelle (Manaka Iwami). Manon tries to defend herself by calling on strong magical powers. Pandæmonium, in the form of a sadistic little girl, replaces her.

This series is in no way for children. It is for mature adults. Scenes in later episodes could almost come out of nightmares. It goes far beyond any mature tone in all-ages animations like Amphibia or The Owl House by leaps and bounds.

The series is engaging and intriguing, but it leaves more questions than answers. The series only had a 12-episode run from April to June of this year. Even so, the final episode leaves the door open for a possible continuation. This post is filled with spoilers, so be warned.

Memories and Manipulation

Menou and Akari fighting together, causing Akari to lose even more memories

The first seven episodes of The Executioner and Her Way of Life implied that Menou and Akari were friends in a previous life in Japan. The later episodes never clarify whether this is the case, but they do reveal a terrifying secret: any time that Akari uses her powers, she loses a memory. She loses a part of herself with each blast.

Pandæmonium taunts her with this reality and claims there is a way back to Japan. Akari rejects this. She reveals that she as a Japanese schoolgirl people bullied her. Unsurprisingly, she has no desire to return.

Later, Pandæmonium declares that someone is repeatedly causing her efforts, to make Menou kill her, fail. She realizes that Menou's former master, Flare, is the culprit. Even worse is the fact that her do-overs caused Pandæmonium to leave the enveloping fog. Once outside, she terrorizes the city and almost kills the woman she loves, Menou.

Every time she does a do-over, and sees Menou die, her regression gets worse. She no longer has a connection to the Astral Archive, which stores memories of the planet and its powers.

Her memory loss is not as severe as Kaede's two-year-long amnesia in Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai. In this series, it is not known whether Akari's memories are permanently deleted or are just inaccessible.

What Akari experiences is different from possible human experimentation on Eve, a protagonist of Birdie Wing: A Golf Girls Story. Flare is toying with Akari and repeatedly causing her anguish. Perhaps to protect herself from the mounting trauma, and near-death of Menou, she uses her powers to wipe her memory of the events.

In a possible second season, mind manipulation and destruction-prone tactics of Pandæmonium would be even worse. In the final episode, one of her fragments survives and makes an alliance with Manon to bring chaos to the world.

Bursting with Yuri

The series goes beyond being a yuri isekai about an assassin trying to kill those from another world. The plot and the characters are filled with yuri. First is the budding romance between Akari and Menou.

Reviewers like Vrai Kaiser have a point about Momo as a "stereotypical handsy stalker type" who worships Menou. I would slightly counter Kaiser's argument. When Akari enters the picture, Momo restrains herself to an extent. Even when she doesn't, Menou isn't the biggest fan of Momo fawning over her. She just wants to get her job done and execute Akari.

Momo's actions are not as extreme as the stalkery fan in Carole & Tuesday, a series with poor LGBTQ representation. It differs from Haruka Nishida in Kanameno with a fetish for underage girls and more like the cute yuri couple in the same series.

There's no heterosexual explanation for this

By the end of the first season of The Executioner and Her Way of Life, Menou considers whether she could neutralize the threat that Akari causes by allowing her to live. Such a possibility would go against everything she believes as an executioner.

Menou is slowly falling in love with Akari. The opposite is the case for Akari, who is head over heels in love with Menou. As for Menou, she slowly shows signs that she may have feelings for Akari. Both of them tour the cities of Garm and Libelle together, in what could be called dates. Another season could focus more on their growing affections for one another.

Predictably, Momo wants Akari out of the picture and even vows to kill Akari herself, so she can have Menou to herself. Little does she know that Akari helped heal her by using her power to move back time!

In terms of yuri themes, it is just as strong as the little-known sci-fi yuri drama, Blue Drop, or the well-known yuri romance, Bloom Into You. This series is different from those, in terms of being a compelling yuri fantasy. It is also more overt than more mature anime like Otherside Picnic with yuri themes so diluted that they became meaningless.

Although there are occasional bouts of fanservice in The Executioner and Her Way of Life, it is nothing to the level of many other anime. For instance, yuri anime, such as Flip Flappers, Valkyrie Drive, and Mnemosyne, have more fanservice.

A Unique Isekai

The focus on yuri makes this series fundamentally different from other novels and anime about those who end up in another world. Often, girls are reincarnated in another world and draw attention from physically attractive men. This includes My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, about a girl who begins a new life as a villainess in an otome game she once played.

The Executioner and Her Way of Life explores the seemingly infinite possibilities of the isekai genre with a fascinating story. While it doesn't have the social commentary on overwork that series like the soon-to-be returning I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level, to give one example, it does provide social commentary. In the show's later episode, there is a focus on yuri horror and the sick plans of Pandæmonium. This could be interpreted as a criticism of the horror genre and how gruesome it can get at times.

At the same time, there is the inevitable clash of cultures, of the world Akari comes from and the world that Menou lives in. There are no themes of those disillusioned with their previous lives or have their genders transformed like in Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout.

Rather, it has magic and religious themes, making it different from other isekai which involve travelers from Japan, like the 1990s El-Hazard series, with one OVA even featuring a lesbian relationship. Some reviewers called the series an "answer" to the trend of isekai, terming Akari and Menou as "murder wives", and noting the show's "exaggerated approach to the genre" which is full-on gay.

Akari, dressed like Menou, asks Menou to wait for her.

The series focuses on the common theme: power can corrupt absolutely. This is shown, in later episodes, through Manon's attempt to defeat Menou by using "taboo" powers and even sacrificing herself to bring the Pandæmonium into existence. Earlier episodes demonstrate this through the sadistic plan by Archbishop Orwell (Tamie Kubota) to kidnap young girls in hopes of making her more youthful.

The parallel world of The Executioner and Her Way of Life is different from another other series I've seen. There isn't a science fiction element though the series fall into the common stereotypes for the genre. Rather, it combines the best elements of yuri stories with the best ones in isekai. Although the series has monsters, it is not based on or akin to a video game. Instead, it is a mix of romance, adventure, and suspense.

The series also differs from Western animation which involves dimensional travel. Although Akari can be goofy and aloof at times, the characters are much more mature than the teenage protagonists of The Owl House and Amphibia. There are also scenes with drowning, poisoning, grievous injury, and the like, going beyond even the most mature moments of the latter two series.

The Executioner and Her Way of Life does, however, have some similarities with Samurai Jack, in that the characters are on a journey, a quest, and face challenges along the way. As mentioned earlier, trauma is a major component of this series. It informs the actions of Manon, while everyone else has traumatic experiences over and over throughout the series.

Talented Cast and Crew

The amazing animation by J.C. Staff and background art isn't complete without the amazing voices, directors, and everyone working on the show. Some names were familiar to me, like M・A・O, who is also known as Mao Ichimichi. As it turns out, this year alone she voiced characters in thirteen anime series.

The same is the case for other voice actors in the series. Hisaki Kanemoto, who also voiced a character in Love After World Domination, voiced characters in the wonderful sci-fi adventure, Bodacious Space Pirates, and the second season of The Demon Girl Next Door. Iori Saeki has just as many voice credits, lending her voice to characters in Adachi and Shimamura, and in the upcoming Tokyo Mew Mew New. Yuma Uchida is also voicing a character in the latter series, and another in Heroines Run the Show.

Other voice actors lent their voices to characters in series such as Spy × Family, Yamibou, Strawberry Panic!, Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet,B Gata H Kei, and many others. Many of these anime are yuri or have yuri themes, which gave them something to build on in The Executioner and Her Way of Life.

Those directing and supervising the series are just as skilled. Some have worked on the fantasy isekai series, Ascendance of a Bookworm, while others have worked on other series like the romantic drama yaoi, Given.

Looking Toward a Second Season

Although this series may be, like too many anime, a solitary season, there are many areas for expansion. For one, there are colonialist undercurrents in a society comprised of commoners, evil nobles, and priests, as one reviewer pointed out. In my original review of the series, I noted the same, noting that the world is Japanese-influenced and split into various classes.

Another season would continue the romance of Akari and Menou. All the while Momo remains jealous, even trying to kill Akari if she gets the chance. This could cause Menou and Momo to compete with one another, deciding who will kill Akari first.

On the other hand, Akari, Menou, Momo, and even Ashuna, may have to put their differences aside and come together to fight a common threat. This could be Flare, or the combined evil of Pandæmonium and Manon. Another season could focus more on the family of Manon and the troubled life of Akari back in Japan. Both are briefly touched on in this season.

The series could further focus on the origin of the "pure concepts", magical powers which offworlders have, and how their powers work. So far, the series has delved a bit into this, and talks about the "great human errors" which attempted to ruin the world in the past, but further focus could make the series even more compelling.

There could also be a focus on the role of religion in society and the power of the church. This is a major theme of the series, but another season could do it more justice.

Closing Words

Hopefully, the series improves in the second season, with stronger storylines, characters, and more unified tone. The tonal change of the series in the last few episodes to almost yuri horror was a bit jarring.

The success of this series will likely inform future yuri series by J.C. Staff and others on HIDIVE. In the end, while I have my criticisms of the series, I look forward to seeing where it goes in a second season, and beyond.

The Executioner and Her Way of Life can be watched on HIDIVE.

#the executioner and her way of life #yuri #isekai #anime #lgbtq #hidive #mature animation #adult animation #memories #manipulation #kanameno #carole & tuesday #el-hazard #life with an ordinary guy who reincarnated into a total fantasy knockout #blood #ascendance of a bookworm #samurai jack #j.c. staff

4 notes · View notes

irregodless · 10 months

Text

so lets talk about that book

ive not read the entire thing yet for reasons ill get into in a minute (FOOTNOTE: this will be explained later)

TLDR: remember if you comment negatively on my review without reading all of it i will report you and also youre wasting your life by saying anything negative ever

the character we are introduced to is venus who seems to vacillate between being pious and believing she is Literal Evil Made Manifest. whenever she is around the prose becomes insufferable to read at best and unreadable at worst using turns of phrases no one has ever even thought to use or stating things that at first seem figurative but turn out to be very literal and the inverse of that

and i do mean WHEN SHES AROUND. the beginning of the second chapter begins with actually competent prose which follows until venus shows up again. her presence also brings with it an annoying amount of footnotes and often for things that dont need them (diablo is latin for devil) while not having them for actually uncommon words or phrases OR are used to describe plot elements in the most egregious example of telling instead of showing possible sometimes even half explaining it and then saying itll be explained later in the book. sometimes the footnotes are given for words that are explained in the rest of the sentence.

because of this izzy and i, while we were reading, labeled her as Narrative Poison, a cognito hazard who fundamentally affects the story on a meta level. now this concept is interesting. if i could trust the author. but the author has ruined her ethos for me even outside of personal interactions

if venus is intended to he bad, this brings new problems with it. the first is that even the competent prose is lousy with evidence it was not proofread well or read out loud for comprehension at all. even if venus is supposed to mark bad narration it should still be enjoyable to experience and not a pain

the next issue is that the book opens with her rambling prose which gives equal attention and detail to everything no matter how inconsequential while treating anorexia and disease as a moral failing, and confusing muscular atrophy with muscular dystrophy. a books opening should serve as a hook and while the opening doesnt have to be perfect you have damaged your trust with your readers. they read that and that is the impression they get. they are unlikely to give you the benefit of the doubt UNLESS they too believe in elegance over readability. and even then they will be blindsided over the head by the sudden and abrupt change in narration styles that do not flow

pb flower includes a lot of cultural references but most of them fall flat instead seeming like they bolster the story. ace just lists some norse mythos words that dont ultimately mean anything together. theres a lot of islamic terminology and references to indic mythology id delight in learning about if at any time they felt a. like they served any purpose other than hey look what words i know and b. didnt usually just amount to shortened wikipedia explanations. few of the cultural references land and some only prove the authors lack of familiarity with them like a certain navajo spirit starting with s that People. Are. Not. Supposed. To. Say.

related to nothing but ace randomly speaks welsh often before repeating himself in english and the way flower presents it makes it seem more like welsh is just a heavy accent than a language not unlike this bitch speaking japanese. thats not like a callout its just the only way it makes sense.

so now lets talk about ethos outside the book. in her blazed post flower is asked if the book is written by ai. she says ai was made by humans so there is absolutely no distinction. after i pointed this exchange out she deleted the comments and began claiming that she, her, she wrote the book. i think she said it took 3 months? which um... it shows.

she has not denied that it was written by ai but she HAS explained that to her there is no difference. i can no longer trust anything she says especially if she DID use an ai and she believes that that constitutes having written it. but when i asked my followers how they felt about a physical book priced at 25 dollars OSTENSIBLY having been written by ai. she, at least apparently she, sends me an anon saying she will report me for "defaming her copyrighted work" and i cannot speak poorly about it if i havent read it. she also makes a post asking if when you review something poorly if it was because it was actually bad or because you didnt gel with it. flower has thus proven a lack of ability to handle criticism maturely or professionally as she didnt even make an attempt to in turn say "hey this isnt ai dont keep spreading lies about my work it was a miscommunication" which even if she did send that to me now.... i couldnt believe her. and yet if she sees this review shes probably gonna try to report me again having proved she cant handle criticism especially since the post seems to imply that the only reason you would leave negative feedback is because youre a sorry little hater.

i would love to believe that venus is actually meant to be narrative poison maybe even that flower used ai to write her and if she did that would actually be quite clever! i MUST admit! but the thing is: i cannot trust her as an author. and so am i willing to give her 200 pages worth of my life trusting in someone who has proven i cannot trust her to prove her concept? to trust that she would even attempt listening to my criticism without just writing me off as a hater? well, to quote her post "lifes too short, move on."

anyhoo itd be disingenuous if i didnt at least share some highlights from my read. perhaps ill add on more thoughts for now but without going into details like "obedient ebony" heres a good place to stop for now

that last one is the most resonant with me :)

#ace umbra #pb flower #book review #fucking bitchtopia!#i just realized that last tag looks bad out of context thats a quote i found funny #i am not calling pb flower a fucking bitchtopia thats rude

1 note · View note

changedlives · 2 years

Text

TWO DEBTS FELL OFF

Shalom, So earlier this year I was hit with two things on my credit, it said I owed two apartments I applied for last year money. After three months went by.. I wasn’t getting any resolutions from one collection agency and they refused to help me by being rude and hanging up on me. I prayed about it, then called the actual complex & the agent I spoke to told me to reach out to Corporate and I contacted them via email. I received an email from Corporate stating to show proof of payment and I did. Later on I received another email stating they spoke to the collection agency and told them the balance was paid plus the collections over charged me $300 more. Also, he told me that I had and outstanding refund that was owed to me and to confirm my residency. Which was the same money that I was told I WOULD NOT GET BACK!!! Whewwww PRAISE GOD … and the other collections was deleted after I submitted a dispute with the credit bureau! Because I kept my faith in the lord when I almost felt like giving up he FAVORED ME. This was also after the time bishop told us to stop taking no for an answer and that debts will just fall off !!! I believed before I saw it, it manifested, and god DID NOT FAIL ME

#Harvest #Praise #Jesus #Testify #Testimony #Awesome #submission

0 notes

crispyliza · 2 years

Text

Dad: *spents every moment he can with me as a baby constantly repeating the word μπαμπάς (dad in greek) over and over*

Me: *says "μπαμπας" as my first word*

Dad:

Mom:

#my second word was παπουκια which is greek (and baby) for shoes #sorry mom #ok to reblog though idk if anyone will want to #anyways my dad was pretty absent while i was growing up bc of work even when he didn't have to and he was and is very judgmental #especially about mental health issues or my adhd and many other things that i don't wanna blast him about on the internet #bc i still love him a lot despite the psychological issues i have bc of him #and I'm terrified to one day come out as bi to him bc he's homophobic and i already feel as if i failed him daily #but i love to reminisce about moments like this (though this one i obviously don't remember lmao) and remember that he loves me #and most of his mistakes misguided manifestations of his worry and care #and he's slowly understanding that i think #I'm saying all this bc whenever someone posts something wholesome that happened with their family everyone is always depressed and envious #and traumadumpimg about their own horrible experiences with their parents #and i just wanted to show that my relationship with my dad is anything but perfect #bc the commenters don't always know the whole story before making judgment #anyways i made this on a whim and might delete it later #i just wanted to share this cute family moment #text #crispy talks #whenever my dad brags about my first word my mom immediately provides the context bitterly #it's so funny

14 notes · View notes

zackcrazyvalentine · 3 years

Note

can I get some more octavinelle with pregnant!mc? how they would react around mc and when the baby is born if they would cry or anything

in case I'm violating any rules or the requests are closed feel free to delete this! I'm just a big jade simp and I love my octatrio a lot too!

Requests are currently closed.... but.... I'm a sucker for domestic stuff and an Octavinelle stan, so I'm gonna do this anyways asddf

This will be the one exception [note post writing everything: YEAH this will definitely be the ONLY exception.... this is looooong]

Tried to keep everything as gender neutral as possible: when referring to pregnant partner and the babies alike

🐙 Azul Ashengrotto 💜

When you're pregnant

Proud papa!! Azul definitely cried from happiness when news of your pregnancy reached him

Was also a nervous wreck, however. He's very insecure about his abilities to be a good father and role model his children would like to follow and look up to

You know him, he's studious and booksmart. Ashengrotto will take to reading many parenting books and blogs entries to prepare himself for the arrival of his baby

Definitely had you both enroll in classes in a local hospital so you know how to act and what to expect when time for labor arrives

Health and being healthy is important to him. For you he will put up with eating all sort of balanced meals, regardless of how much he dislikes them (so you're not alone while keeping up a diet)

Always accompanies you to your gynecology appointments. Cried every time your baby's heartbeat was heard through the echo/ultrasound machine

We know how he is, grown up Azul probably has a business of his own and it takes a good amount of his time to attend. Still, he will take time to call you through the day to make sure you're fine

Probably had either of the twins look after you in days he really couldn't take time off his job. Jade being the more helpful one with chores and emotional rants (you've both probably sniffled at natural documentaries), while Floyd is perfect for food prep and hysterical laughs over fail videos

Every night, before going to bed, he spends time talking to your baby bump, places some kisses on it too

He goes sooooo soft in those moments before sleep takes you away, his love lulls you to refreshing rest

Always makes sure to give you a kiss and a rub goodbye to your bump when heading off to work

Really enjoys watching you cook. the pregnancy glow looks beautiful on you when doing mundane tasks, he thinks

Maternity pictures? He's a little reluctant, but if you really want to... *end up carrying a small copy of his favorite pic in his wallet* *sends a copy of the whole pack to his mother and grandma* *frames his favorite and puts it on his office*

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

SCREEEAAAAMS!!!!

But after a nice yell of surprise, fear and nerves, he's ready to go and put your plan of action learned in those classes ready!

He's collected for the most part, but every time you scream from the contractions, he screams too because "he can feel it"... but it's really just his nerves getting out of hand

However, once you get to the hospital, this man will burst in and yell loud and clear "SOMEONE HELP ME, MY SPOUSE IS IN LABOR!!!" because the ride was so stressful he can't hold it together anymore

Be it through natural labor or C-section, Azul will want to hold your hand and be there for you through it all.... He might get light headed at times, but again, he'll push through anything to make sure you and the baby are fine

If he somehow manages to translate his grip strength to his human form now that he's older, he will be squeezing your hand just as hard as you're squeezing

Is a mess of tears once your child's first cry echoes through the room. It feels so relieving and miraculous.... You're now parents to your first little baby!!

Can't help to smile so tenderly at his chubby little angel. Runs a finger delicately against their cheek and sheds more tears at how warm and soft and alive they are

"My precious little pearl... What a blessing you are, little one, already making us so joyous. Welcome"

Azul holds his child so gently. If you had a glow while pregnant, Azul has a glow as a new father. You swear you can see a golden halo around him whenever he's pampering and carrying your child

Reads them a bedtime story every day. They may not understand him, but Azul wants to acquaint them to his voice quickly

Since he has paperwork to do at home, there have been times the octomer left you to sleep while he attended the baby's necessities. It relaxes him, and the rocking to get them back to sleep refreshes him. How can one not be powered up after seeing a plump little munchkin sound asleep with a smile on their face?

This private moments with the baby get him emotional, has probably cried during all of them. He just feels blessed with a mountain of happiness when he sees his baby sleep so comfortably, knowing they're surrounded by love and care.

Is curious to see if his baby will manifest a merfolk form later in life, or manifest any sort of magical powers.

BONUS: It was during a family vacation to the beach during their 2nd year in primary school where your child manifested their mer-form. They were ecstatic!!

🐬 Jade Leech 💜

When you're pregnant

His expression was as collected as always, but his heart jumped into outer space when he got the news of your pregnancy. Held you close and kissed you with so much passion and love, you saw a new Jade that day.

He thinks you don't notice, but the loving gaze he shoots your way when doing the most random things around the house is so soft, your heart stops every time (think of his lab coat groovy, that smile)

Like Azul, he's very keen on keeping you healthy. Along with a proper diet, he makes sure you take your daily supplements

But he turns a blind eye when you wish to indulge a liiiittle too much on that snack you adore

With his big appetite, it doesn't come as a surprise that he willingly subjects himself to your strange cravings

Jade is another one that accompanies you to each and every doctor's appointment. Is well read of what to expect in every month mark, so he asks the most questions to clear up any doubts you may have.

His eyes filled with tears when hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time. Held your hand tightly and kiss your forehead so many times while you were in the ultrasound room

While he's patient, sometimes your mood swings also get him in a sour mood. Thankfully, he has a way to destress with his job and terrariums. It's not long into the day when he calls to apologize for any dumb things he said, and to make sure you're doing fine

Floyd sometimes tags along to your home. It's always 50/50 on what it'll be: nice funny harmony, or utter disastrous chaos that leaves you sobbing in your husband's arms.

Perhaps the one thing Jade dislikes of your pregnancy is ho hard it is for you to find a position to sleep in because your constant tossing and turning interrupts his sleep every time

Jade speaks to your bump in whispers. Likes to lay his head on your lap and talk to the baby. He tells stories of his childhood, tells the little one how much they're loved, and sometimes indulges in singing

He also likes to play classical music for your bun

The one thing he adores? Feeling your baby kick, it always lights up his face with a bright pointy smile

If you want maternity photos, Jade is quick to convince! He acts like it embarrasses him, but he does secretly want some nice pictures to commemorate this period in your lives (plus, Mama Leech wants some to display in her home!)

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

His mind is running a mile a minute. Excuse him is he calls you "hospital" instead of your name, everything's flashing before his eyes quicker than he can register.

Would crash the car into the entrance from how fast everything's happening, but he doesn't. He does carry you to the front desk and hurriedly pants "Spouse, baby, NOW! HELP!!"

For x or y reason, Jade ends up waiting to hear the news of you and the baby. He's not in the room with you. The whole time he's left alone, he's bouncing his feet and pacing back and forth. In a short moment of clarity, he dials up Azul and notifies him of the situation, asking the octomer to pass the information to his twin and parents.

With how long births are, it shouldn't be surprising to see Mama and Papa Leech, Floyd and Azul arrive at the hospital. However, with how worried and stressed he is right now, it does catch Jade by surprise.

This moment of uncertainty, of not being by your side, is the one time where the eel lets his emotions and thoughts go unfiltered.... which may provoke his twin a little. But it's exactly these small quarrels that snap sense into him and remind him that he should focus his attention on doctors and nurses for any possible news about you. They also help refresh and keep him awake

His mother and Azul are the most helpful, calming him down and quelling his anxieties about your and the baby's safety

The moment he sees the familiar face of one of the doctors that entered the same room as you, he's up and speedwalking to them.

As soon as the merman gets permission to see you, he's already making his way to you

Finally, he can rest and let it all out. There's visible tears flowing out his eyes and sobs coming out of him while he holds your little bundle of joy. Not even a thousand kisses are enough to show his gratitude to all that you've done for him

He was already in love with your baby the moment he laid eyes on them, but once their tiny hand wrapped around his finger.... HE WAS DONE FOR, THIS BABY WOULD BE SPOILED BY PAPA FOR ALL ETERNITY. In fact, it was this moment the one that made him ugly cry

His instincts got the best of him. Jade literally snapped around to bite his father and Floyd when they got a too close to the sleeping baby. By a miracle he allowed his mother coddle them for a split second. Can you blame the poor man? He's sleep deprived and stressed, cut him some slack

Once he got some rest, Jade was embarrassed by his words and actions, but oh well... The past is in the past

He adores spending time with your baby. Every time he's in charge of bathing them, he does the cutest babytalk. He lives to see them giggle and relax in the water

Feeding time is also one of his favorites, and you also enjoy it too. Jade is just wonderful when taking care of the baby, your heart swells and a smile reaches your lips (partly because he turns so silly to make the little one eat)

He is helpful when attending the child at night, but whenever he had a stressful day at work he pleads you to go and calm them down

Talking about stressful days, feel free to send him some selfies and pictures of your baby through the day. They surely will cheer him up a little while he works.

When your child starts attempting to talk, Jade will go along with it. He nods and answers attentively to anything your baby says

BONUS: At around 5 years of age, your kid turned into their merfolk form in the middle of bath time. They cried from panic while Jade had a proud smile on his face

🦈 Floyd Leech 💜

When you're pregnant

He takes a minute to process the news. Frankly, he's nervous about this big leap, but he's sure he wants to have kids with you. His excitement may be subdued at first, but you will see him throw more smiles and tender gazes your way within the following weeks

If you notice him spacing out during the first weeks, urge him to speak out. It will take many tries to get him to open up, but one night he goes to spoon you, hand carefully caressing your tummy. "I'm unsure... isn't this... too fast?"

Understand that his doubts are more about feeling unprepared (specifically him, he has no clue how to even begin preparing), not about not wanting to have kids. "Accidents happen, Floyd, we can't control every variable in our lives. We have one another, I'm certain that together we can do this."

"Plus, we can always consult your parents." Cue a groan from him, but soon after there was a smile

Slow but steady, Leech begins researching and reading up about parenting and pregnancy. Lemme tell ya, he's not looking forward to the mood swings. Sure enough, when they arrive, he handles them very poorly. At the end of every day, however, he hugs you close while in bed and asks for forgiveness through kisses to your back

He sometimes gets bored by all the technical talk your gynecologist speaks, but follows their orders to a T. They're the professional, he barely knows the surface of what your body's going through.

After being told that was the baby's heartbeat, Floyd's wide mismatched eyes remained glued to the monitor showing the silhouette of his little bun. Chills coursed through him and his eyes watered, heart leaping with joy.... It felt so strange, but he didn't wish this magical emotion to stop

He probably buys you one of those pill organizers with pretty colors so you know and he knows if you've taken your supplements

Whenever he has a very shitty day at work, being greeted by you waddling up to him due to your feet hurting from carrying the baby once he arrives home is the best. It makes him chuckle, but he soon drops down to place a kiss to your tummy to dispel any irritation you may feel his way after his small laugh

About work... Azul kinda lets him do as he pleases, he's aware there's no changing his decision. If he wants to skip half the shift to keep an eye on you, he allows it. But Floyd must heed important calls whenever he's summoned urgently.

Will ask to bath together. Intimate, soothing, and relaxing. Bathing with you while hugging you from behind to feel the bump reassures him you're both doing a good job so far, that there's nothing to fear

It's mainly in the few seconds before bedtime that he drops onto your lap to chat with the little one. Likes to hum melodies to the bump

He has a little game where he'll poke at your belly and wait to see if the baby kicks the spot he prodded

Sometimes, Azul pops up for a visit. Very calming to have the grey haired to talk to about emotional messes. Jade sometimes calls to make sure you're both fine and have everything you need. If he visits, they're short and to the point.

Maternity photoshoot?? Nah, he'll pass.... but if you are stubborn and very insistent, he relents. You better not send them to his parents behind his back (but you totally do, of course).

When you're in labor/the baby arrives

You want chaos? Because you definitely got chaos! Don't get me wrong, Floyd is actually doing a tremendously amazing job carrying your bag and yourself to the car. He's actually driving superb while reminding you to take repeat the breathing exercises you were taught. It's just...... the other people's slow pace and stupidity the ones making him yell profanities

Absolutely throws his signature crazed look at the first nurse he finds when asking, no, demanding help

That crazed look was reason enough to keep him out of the room you'd be in, his consequent aggressiveness after given the news is an even grater reason. If you can muster it, tell him you will be okay and to trust the doctors.

Sits on the closest waiting space to your room. Probably goes up to a bending machine and punches it a couple times to release some of the tension (he got a free snack, too)

Now it's when the nervousness settles in. He's so afraid at having you and his child away from him, he's worried about everything. May shed a couple tears of frustration, fear, and stress. His instincts tell him to protect you even if he knows there's nothing to protect you from, you're in a hospital for goodness sake!

That's when he calls Jade for comfort, and soon after dials his mother. It's her voice the one that helps him break through the confusing fog in his mind to go back and sit as close to your room as he can

Probably ends up stress eating everything in that vending machine he punched as he waits for any news about you and the baby He's munching on the last bit of a candy bar when a new one crosses his field of vision. It's Jade, with a bag full of treats, and some much needed water. Azul's beside his twin

It feels strange, but Floyd feels very vulnerable and needs the familiarity both of them bring. He lets his head fall on Jade's shoulder, which the twin takes as cue to hug him by placing an arm around his shoulders. Azul kneels in front of him and asks "How are you feeling, Floyd?"

"Scared.... and alert. Like I need to protect them, but... I know they're safe." He probably ends up crying a little more right then. After being calmed down by Azul, he probably sleeps for 10 minutes

Wakes up to find his mother replacing Jade by his side, and his dad is also with them now. Definitely feels much better after some shut eye and after seeing he's now surrounded by familiar faces

When he hears his name be called out by the doctor, he's immediately shooting up and throwing questions at the doc. Thankfully, the professional firmly states everything went swimmingly and he can now see you.

Will you look at that? TWO little babies are waiting to meet him!

You're holding one, and the second cutie is placed in his arms and.... There come the waterworks again It was such a natural reaction, he had no time to try and suppress it. Not like he would've wanted to, but the way you "aww"ed at him made him feel a little embarrassed

The twin in his arms reached out and tugged his black strip of hair after it tickled their face, Floyd couldn't help giggle

He can't lie, his arms were shaking the whole time he held the little one. He was scared of hurting them...or dropping them

He wonders how everyone missed the elusive second baby, but he's so happy!! He has two cute kids!! Oh, you're such a wonderful and strong parent! You carried their weight combined and powered through the pregnancy just like that!

He really wants to climb into your bed and hold you so close, but he knows you need rest. Settles for peppered kisses all over your face while uttering "I love you, thank you" in between

While his instincts do tell him to chase away the "dangerous" males away from his newborn kids, Floyd does let his father get close and look at the babies along with his mom. Jade and Azul are a different story, however, he growled at them.

Like Jade, Floyd loves spending time with his twins! His top fav is bathing the twins because he's always eager to see if they will turn into merfolk (spoilers: they do!! And quite early! A few months after their 1st birthday!)

Another thing he loves doing is laying a blanket on the floor and watching his cuties play with their toys and giggle at each other

He tried their baby food once and decided to make homemade baby food from then on. He says he wants his little ones to taste only good things since those prepackaged stuff taste terrible. Just keep an eye on his spice use.

Night necessities are your task though, he does not take kindly to being interrupted in his sleep

He likes reenacting baby photos of him and Jade with his babies

Once his kids get the hang of their mer-form, most of your vacations will be under the sea~

#zask #zack writes #soul cuddle #domestic #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #leech twins #octavinelle #octavinelle x reader #tw // pregnancy #cw // pregnancy #gn reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader

1K notes · View notes

remcycl333 · 2 years

Note

like 95% success story (that i am fully expecting to give a 100% update to soon) (bc this has been a major one for me).

so for some Very simple background: my sp and i met in feb/march, dated april to july, broke up bc of mental health. he was my first healthy relationship after a list of unhealthy relationships. i wasn't expecting him. my mindset was: my next relationship is going to be healthy or i'm done for a while. and i was genuinely expecting to stay single for a while because i hadn't been lucky in the love department up until him. but he snuck up on me and i fell for him before i even realized. so

all throughout june and july, i truly was grasping at straws, trying to use law of attraction to fix the situation, and i was failing epically. i was doing 55x5, 369, everything. but i was focusing on the lack.

this is not a success bit, but in july, i was listening to sour - a breakup album - Heavily, and i mean that was the only music i consumed for like, a week or two. and then, lo and behold, i got broken up with. which i want to add, listening to music doesn't necessarily manifest, but the reflection onto your own circumstances can, as it did for me. i was thinking of my sp when i listened to those songs and was reflecting on my circumstances/frustrations when i did so.

a month later, at this point, i had discovered law of assumption thru tiktok and a certain coach on youtube who shall not be named. so, i started manifesting that he's okay, he's reaching out, but he's okay and he still has feelings for me. But first and foremost, he is okay.

one day, like mid? august, he shows up again on instagram after deactivating in may. so i messaged him because his friends weren't having much luck. but for context, my sp and i hadn't talked since the breakup. so now, he's back, but he's pushing friends and me away still. BUT most importantly, he's okay. he told me he's okay.

eventually he warms up again (early september) and we start talking again more consistently. he's flirty, so i'm flirty back. this goes on until november and at this point, i start to slip into the do-i-even-have-feelings-for-him-anymore mindset more than a few times, because we weren't talking as much as i had hopes, but i persist. telling myself: he has feelings for me, he's okay, he and i talk a lot, etc. throughout this time, i got a lot of signs; people flirting when they wouldn't normally, seeing his name a lot, angel numbers, certain tiktoks, etc.

mid november, i finally have had enough of waiting and bottling my feelings up so i tell him. i have feelings for him and idk if he feels the same (i definitely know he does), but if he does we need to have the what are we gonna do about it talk. if not, we can forget i said anything. he says he feels the same as me, but he's airing on the cautious side because he doesn't want to go jumping into anything as he doesn't want a repeat of may through july. so he just wants to make sure he's okay for a bit before he and i make it official. that's valid by all means and i'm airing on the side of caution too, so not a problem there.

late november, i tell him i want to talk more, so can we start texting instead (because we were messaging on instagram). he gives me his number again (i had previously deleted it) and we start talking a lot more, like we used to (which makes me very happy.)

now it's december and i had said i love you to him a couple times because we are back to normal, back to us. i told him if he doesn't want to say it back quite yet, okay, but at this point, i know he does because he's told me twice recently (when we confessed our feelings for one another.) so maybe he's forgetting to say it back. well, i manifest for a day or two that he says it all the time and he always says it back. i don't say it first, so he starts saying it, just randomly.

it's now the 17th of december and after a teensy rough patch of having no contact (for about a week and a half), my sp and i are back to talking a lot. we were trying to establish a routine of an 1 or so just for us to talk/hangout before we both go to sleep. now, this will be the third day of this, we've been staying up and talking for about 3-4 hours instead of just the 1.

when we weren't talking, i was really frustrated and annoyed with my sp and upset with myself. then, one night we had a really bad thunderstorm, so i texted my sp that i hope he's doing okay. somehow That was what pushed me out of my annoyance and i remembered how much i adore him. a few hours later, he texted me.

just the other minute, i texted him. my text wasn't going thru immediately and was taking a few minutes. i didn't want to panic, so i told myself it's sent. went to distract myself so i put on my personal little subliminal thing. less than a minute later, it's gone through. and i'm sure he's going to text me soon so we can spend some time together again.

the last bit i need to make it through/have yet to receive is making it official, but i have a feeling that's coming any day now, so i have faith i can give an update to this soon.

my one piece of advice? have faith in urself & persist. :)

!!!! i am so happy for u !!!! guys they r literally a prime example of why u should persist and not let 3d circumstances bother u!!!! if ur sp says something u don’t like or want to hear do not let it get to u, just affirm the opposite and they will conform.

i can’t wait for ur full success story, ik it’s coming sooner than any of us expect :)

#success stories

114 notes · View notes

jessicalucas · 3 years

Text

Why did Jeremiah want Ecco dead, and how did he pull it off?

It is my solid belief that Jeremiah wanted Ecco to die, and I have several reasons why. It starts when he was sprayed, however back then it was more of an indifference to if she died or not. If you think about what he made her do, he made her shoot herself, he put her in the bunker to keep Jim there with the chance that it could blow up with her still in it, he almost definitely made her be the one to converse with all the dangerous gangs and criminals to exert his dominance over them. All were high risk situations where she could have died, but there was always a chance that she wouldn’t. We know that a lot of Jeremiah’s relationships were fuelled by obsessions, but I don’t think he was obsessed with Ecco as a person, I think he was obsessed with the fact that he had been able to manipulate a person so well into being entirely devoted to him and changing their personality and manner, and Ecco was just the walking embodiment of that. Alongside her being useful due to this, by keeping her around he was constantly reminding himself of his achievement in making her who she was. He saw her as a possession of his own creation, but as he was just obsessed with that and not actually Ecco herself, she was expendable, but precious enough to allow a chance at living.

Which means that something changed between 5x07 and 5x12 in that ten years, something that changed Jeremiah from not caring if she died, to wanting her to die. That difference is evident in the finale, because if he didn’t actively wish for her to die, I imagine that he would have just left her dying with the stab wound, rather than ensuring that she would definitely die. There was a chance that she could have survived, I don’t know tons about stab wounds but people in Gotham have survived much worse injuries, Jeremiah has survived much worse injuries. But for once he didn’t allow her to have that chance.

This brings us to the ultimate question: why would Jeremiah want Ecco dead? She was loyal, he knew that she would do what he wanted, and he had his own personal protection wherever he meant. Clearly, the big event linking this change was the 10 years he spent in Arkham. Obviously we don’t see much of them there, but we see enough to establish that Ecco was his nurse and the person he solely relied upon, he used her to get information in and out and as far as we know, for a very large chunk of that 10 years she was the only person who knew he wasn’t braindead. Now, that has some very striking similarities to the role she played when she was his proxy, as back then he was reliant upon her to do so much, without her being able to leave the bunker he would have struggled a lot more. He was very dependent upon her, and at that point, I don’t think he minded. However, when he got sprayed and certain elements of his personality were intensified, the arrogance and self-obsession did as well, and he no longer wanted to be dependent upon someone, he believed himself to be the most important person that doesn’t need to answer to anyone. He brainwashed Ecco to flip it around, she was now the one dependent on him, and he had the full power.

When he went to Arkham, he no longer had that control over her. Ecco had no guidance, and automatically switched back into the role that she was most comfortable doing: looking after him. We don’t know how long Jeremiah was pretending to be brain dead, but when he woke up, he had to start pretending straight away. There was no way he could have done it without Ecco. Once again, their roles had been reversed and he was once again solely relying upon Ecco to look after him, to carry out everything he needed done, and to make sure he wasn’t discovered. He must have resented the fact that she could do everything he wanted to do, all his anger about having to wait for the right moment was now being channelled into his relationship with her, because that was the only real relationship he had at that moment in time. Unlike before, he no longer had an outlet for his anger. He couldn’t move, the only thing he could do was think. That would be enough to drive you further into madness, and to warp feelings towards someone else into negative emotions because that’s all you know. If Ecco brought him any messages from the outside, for example the news that Bruce had left Gotham, he couldn’t see them to develop hatred towards them, and so he does towards the nearest person at the time, which is Ecco. The resentment that he was dependent on her once more, the mixed messages in his brain from madness and the anger he felt for others all manifested itself into him beginning to develop very negative emotions when she was around.

But when does the line between disliking someone and wanting someone dead get crossed? For me, there’s two main reasons, and the first goes back to the point that she was acting very similar to her proxy phase. Not only was it echoed in actions, it was also similar in terms of her movement, body language, facial expressions, and appearance. She is quiet, stoic, she delivers her actions swiftly and with no theatrics. Sure, she had to blend in, but she didn’t need to when she killed the two men in Jeremiah’s cell.

That reminded me of the scene where Jeremiah gets her to shoot the two guards, she does it with no hesitation, silently, deadly. Without the constant influence of Jeremiah being able to control her with words and actions, the façade he built up for her is ebbing away, and surfacing is the Ecco that was always still there, just hidden under the many layers of devotion that Jeremiah had built up. It’s not a quick process, she still has the same voice and wording as she does before, but she’s definitely changed from the person she was in 5x07. Note how she’s still in Arkham when I say this, because the rapid change in her between Arkham and Barbara’s club is important and I’ll get to that later. Essentially, what Jeremiah is seeing before him is all his work that he put in to manipulating her is fading away, that his power over her is no longer as strong as it was. Which makes him question: if it’s happened once, what’s to say it won’t happen again if he manages to brainwash her again? It’s bad enough letting people know that her manipulation wasn’t strong enough to hold when he wasn’t there to constantly enforce it, but for it to fail a second time? He could not allow it. The only solution for him to protect his status and for her to not break free from him, was for her to die.

Furthermore, her acting like his proxy again would have really brought him back to who he was the last time she acted like this, the man that had to fight so hard against his true nature that it made him ‘weak’. He did not want to be that person again, being terrified of his brother, hiding away for years because he couldn’t face the world. Ecco was a constant reminder of that, and I do think that he decided that Ecco was a very strong link between his past and present self, and the only way that the link would be severed would be for her to go away completely. Maybe that is what he tried to do initially instead of killing her, to make her into a different person with a new appearance that wouldn’t remind him of the labyrinth every time he looked at her, but he realised that it really was only a temporary fix and the only way to truly cut off his past was to destroy it. That’s what he did with the labyrinth itself, and it seems fitting to him to destroy all parts of it, including Ecco.

The second reason does have links to the first, and it is his vulnerability inside of Arkham. He pretty much had to be guided with Ecco, she was his ears, his eyes and his legs outside and inside Arkham. He had to let her, there was no other way that it could have worked to the extent that it did. He isn’t able to defend himself with words or physically, but also cannot do anything for himself, he can’t wash himself, dress himself, feed himself etc without dropping his act. The person who is seeing this helplessness first-hand constantly is Ecco. Jeremiah canonically sees himself as this godly figure, one who is all-powerful, who people look up to. To him, being vulnerable is not an option. Being helpless is unthinkable. How could he ever allow someone who saw him in that state live? He may not be able to forget, but he could get rid of any reminders, and also eliminates the idea that people would see Ecco and recognise her as the person who kept him alive, he can’t have anyone on the same level as him, he is alone in his own hierarchy and it must remain that way.

So, that’s pretty much the reasoning behind why I think Jeremiah wanted Ecco dead. Which led me to think how did he manage to pull it off, how did he manage to kill someone who was very smart, a great fighter, and had escaped many dangerous situations before? This leads us back to that sudden switch between Ecco killing the guards and Ecco who is the bait for Barbara. Right, we know that Ecco is more ditzy and less collected when she’s in that state of mind, but examining her behaviour in the scene when she holds the knife to Barbara’s throat, she’s even more off, she’s not focusing on anything, she just seems a lot more relaxed which is such a major difference to how she was in Arkham that it seems too different to be true. I think it is, I think Jeremiah drugged her. He has the access, being in Arkham, and if he asked for it, Ecco would get it for him. I don’t know specifics about medicinal drugs but I imagine that getting something with relaxing properties isn’t exactly uncommon for Arkham, where they need to keep their residents as calm as possible. All he needed to do was get it into her system, Francesca has said that the deleted scene in Arkham involved Jeremiah pulling her into his lap from grabbing her face, kissing her and then carrying her out in his arms. My theory is that he did that as a distraction as he didn’t know how this changing Ecco would react to him trying to inject her, so it would have been easy to inject her when she was distracted and in that close proximity.

Not only would drugging her affect her reflexes, lengthening them and making her more vulnerable to attack, but he also armed her with a knife. We have seen Ecco use a knife before, but we know that she’s much more comfortable with a gun as that is the weapon we see her with the most, and holding someone at gunpoint is going to be a harder situation for the person to get out of, as one movement and bang, you’re dead. With a knife it requires more force and will take longer, even if it is held at the throat. Jeremiah knows Barbara is a skilled fighter, he’s met her twice before and seen her fight, he would have known that she would have been able to disarm a weakened Ecco and stab her. Which is also why he doesn’t make any attempt to restrain her, the only thing stopping her from disarming Ecco is Ecco’s hold on her, which wouldn’t have been that strong if she were drugged and easily distracted. If he really wanted to ensure Ecco’s safety, he could have binded her, or given Ecco a gun, or even shot her in the leg straight away. But he didn’t, and everything worked out like he thought it would. Barbara broke free, Ecco was too slow to fight back, and she was stabbed. Something that would look like an accident to her, but it was completely planned.

(note how Jeremiah waited until after Ecco was disarmed to turn around)

It’s clever, yes it is clever, but it’s the cruellest thing to do to a person that has devoted their entire life to you. Making it so that she was completely defenceless so she didn’t even have a chance to protect herself. This is why I don’t follow the theory that he shot her out of mercy, he shot her to finish the job that he had set out to do a long, long time ago.

#so i sent this to Kat a while back and finally got the courage to post it #idk why i was worried about this but i have thought about this a LOT #and this is just my opinion on the matter #and plus i made gifs #don't steal them #i'm also going to sleep now but i would like to hear your thoughts #do you think it was an act of mercy or do you think he wanted her to die?#i think my opinion's pretty clear lmao #gotham #ecco #jeremiah valeska

42 notes · View notes

detransformerreformer · 2 years

Text

De transitioning: My personal experience

I'm going to talk about something the mainstream media doesn't talk or want you to know about. While the transgender agenda is being pushed by the mainstream media and the debate for bathrooms hit college campuses. After living as a woman since 2014- September 2021

In 2014 while being faced with a substance abuse problem, mental illness, homelessness and yet another failed attempt at love I began my transition from male to Female. With no more than a single appointment at a doctor I was easily given hormones to begin changing my body. This is a fact that scares me more than anything and I heed serious warning to those considering to make such drastic changes to their body, and to parents everywhere to do everything they can in order to prevent their child becoming sterile and so many other mental effects that are bound to change your child forever on a quest to play God themself. God forbid we pay attention to those who later want to transition. The LGBT community tells us we are the wrong ones for feeling this way and try to shut us up. I'm going to speak and its your decision to listen but here's my own account of living transgender.

I was molested at 5 something that affected me and corrupted me on both my sexual identity but also being so young this was something I kept from my family. This sexually immoral event was why I felt I was exploited from my femininity and adolescence by a predator. This damage carried over and was the root of some bad decisions I have made in hindsight. Including my sexuality and because my father worked in the Ministry this affected my spiritual walk as well until recent epiphanies, I see how this was just a ripple in my ocean. He took what he could from me and that taught me if they're going to take it from you “make them pay for it”. These underlying issues are addressed or even a concern for doctors to start you on hormones, in fact they were hardly mentioned. As I said I was suffering from substance abuse, constant hospitalizations, homeless and even had ankle monitors on due to some legal trouble at some of these appointments.

All my psychologist was concerned with was increasing my hormones or being LGBT herself spoon fed me lines that were already confirmed by the loads of fan mail I was getting “Look how pretty you are, you have it so easy to be passible you could be a face of what trans looks like.” My beauty became all that people saw, this became a mask, a charade and after all the trauma I was going through I wore that well. Like a suit of armor pushing down my past doing everything I could to forget who I was including deleting years of photos of my younger male self. Just one of so many upon the pile of things I regret, I tried to erase the person I was in order to forget somethings that made me hurt. I grasped on this journey to transition like a life preserver after jumping off the Titanic, I gripped this life ring for my life when my life was already a shit storm of complicated and underlying issues.

Looking back I don't even know given the already damaged history that became the start of my transition how anything as serious as this could have been approved. This was such a nervous time and I felt the pressure, and as a committed perfectionist I had to make it perfect. The start was everything far from perfection and I'm going to disclose now you never will feel “good enough” trying to be something you never were born to be. I found affirmation in being transgender through being able to easily obtain what I wanted from men. I used this not only in ways to make me feel better about myself but to get something I wanted after allowing them what they all wanted; My body. The doctor had a checklist I would answer and even with red flags present like when I thought I was female actually stemming from the rape that later manifested as a eating disorder in middle school, and sexually later as an adult. None of these red flags were discussed and everything was fairly scary despite how easy I obtained Hormone Replacement Therapy.

Now social contagion is making people feel like they might be transgender, parents are blindly putting their kids on hormones medically they have little to no knowledge of the long term effects and sterilization. Why now? Why all of a sudden is this a trend? It has become a trend like acid wash jeans and everyone jumps on the bandwagon instead of addressing more major traumas beneath the surface. I am so concerned for anyone thinking about transition please seriously consider my warning. I was so mentally unwell and vulnerable when I made this very decision, no one dared pull away or tell me the truth that I was making a mistake. In fear of what action that could push someone already suffering from suicide idealation, my parents or anyone who loved me not dare question this decision I was making.

I could run away from a lot of problems like Arianna. I moved to a new city where no one knew me in order to write a “New Life”. I went to somewhere where no one knew the old me so their only option was to know who I wanted them to and only parts of anything else that slipped my tongue. I would be vague in describing or talking about who I once was; it was all about who I am now and where I was going. Living in the fast line they were only too willing to have another racer. Before becoming transgender I was in the Air Force and was already groomed in adult film while serving in Germany as a open bisexual. I never hated who I was as a male, was just called names and given labels that carry a heavy weight and stigma. I carried my porn career over under a new name Jade Jameson when I became a sensation under the Pornhub Transgender category shortly after my breast augmentation, my hormones by this time had feminized me to a enviable “pass ability” status. As I transitioned I became an online celebrity. I was bombarded by misogynistic men and them objectifying me wasn't looked at with the disgust as I do now. Just seeing it as more affirmation for me and a payday if they really liked me. My fame became so bad I couldn’t even have a drink in my local bar in Cleveland Ohio without being noticed. My best friend and I had to worry more about my safety and location than having fun most nights. When I left Cleveland for Columbus my eyes were opened to just how much I felt in danger being transgender when on 4 separate accounts my local fans in my new place for my fans to try and book in their futile and pathetic attempt in order to get close to me.

All of this became too much for me, the unbreakable finally reached a breaking point. I deleted social media and took down my content, that same day discontinuing my hormones. I couldn't take the person I saw in the mirror anymore, the little things I used to like about myself became the things I hated. I was so alone, after being used by so many people I suppressed myself and became secluded in order to guard myself from being hurt by anyone close to me I stopped letting people in. It came down to most of my daily contact apart from family and my one consistently proven loyal best friend Jen, was from the same people who made me feel like shit, the men who objectified me. I never hated who I was as a woman but felt I was a victim of circumstance and influence. I had labels forced on me and started to believe them. I started to believe because I wasn't masculine I must be feminine. The fact I was more into feminine things became a label and that is why we have to be careful. Our words can hurt others. I was bullied for being feminine and started to damn myself for it. I have never hated my biology. My closest friends agree when they talk about the “bottom” surgery I would be filled with fear rather than excitement. I believe this could contribute to transgender suicide rates being so alarmingly high, the fact that a lot of people who have SRS later regret it. I have come to terms with who I am as a man, I feel like my God never made a mistake. Even though this was a learning experience, I can take what I have from this and be able to use it to help others. It has selfishly become something I will use for myself now for research. I am almost 6 months sober at the time of writing this. I no longer drink, use drugs or even makeup to hide from my problems but to face them was what took real courage and bravery. I have learned in living as a woman how to be the kind of man most only dream of (loyal, trustworthy, and genuine) and how to treat women. My relationships with family and friends who don't wanna use me but love me as I am. Accepting my mistakes and all as true love should. I don't see this as a bad thing but something that has changed me, but something left unchanged will always be the love and support they have for me. I also found the true meaning of self love and I won't ever let someone take that away or let their opinions get to me anymore. Since my fame was a security issue and something that has been a problem for me I have taken myself off social media in order to take time to re learn about the person I am, and let God heal me from all the damage others and myself have done. My purpose is to only educate based on my personal experience.

3 notes · View notes

queenaeducan-writes · 3 years

Text

Healing Hands

Fandom: Elder Scrolls, Skyrim, 3DNPCs/Interesting NPCs Pairing: Rumarin x Eilonwy Rating: General Audiences Words: 2k

Repost of a work that’s since been deleted on Tumblr. Rumarin is a character from 3DNPCs and not in any way my OC!

Read it here on AO3.

For weeks they’d been travelling together, now. Sharing food and shelter, stories and songs. It had been an experience, to put it delicately. She’d come to Skyrim seeking knowledge, but had found a friend instead. Eilonwy watched him sit by the newly lit fire, trying his new ward out. As his hand unflexed a frail shield manifested, causing his arm to tremble until the ward broke. “You are improving,” Eilonwy said gently.

The other high elf scoffed. “At least it’s big enough to shield my head, now. I suppose my innards will simply have to fend for themselves.” He was smiling as he nodded his head toward her, looking at her hands. “In the meantime I can cower behind yours. They’re big enough for the two of us.”

She laughed, stifling it with her hand. Whenever he made her laugh she’d always snort something terrible. It was not the sort of noise a woman of her age ought to be making, especially not on account of a man. “You assume I will remember to cast them.”

“That is true. Though I like the strategy we’ve worked out. You go in, hands blazing, towering over your foes, and I swoop in and finish them off!” Rumarin swept his hand over the fire, slashing the air with an imaginary conjured blade. “It works surprisingly well.”

All over Skyrim they had walked, all in the hopes of teaching him a new spell. They’d visited healers, eccentrics, and even the undead. Each time they failed, it had always been her who seemed more upset about it. Rumarin laughed it off with a joke, while she stewed about it for hours. A good teacher did not dismiss a student because they required a different style of teaching. It was difficult to tell how serious Rumarin was about learning new spells, but he had travelled across Skyrim and back to learn one. That required dedication.

Eilonwy traced her fingers over the fabric of her robes, pulling at the frayed ends. “May I ask you a question?” she said, moving around the campfire until she caught his gaze. “We went from border to border trying to find a mage that could teach you, yet in all that time you never thought to ask me. Why?” She’d asked herself that question for a while now, ever since they’d met Valgus at the sign of the Steed. It didn’t make sense to her, but then again many things about Rumarin didn’t make sense to her.

“I did ask for your help, remember? You blasted me with lightning. I still don’t have any feeling in my left foot,” he replied evasively. “Thank you for that, by the way.”

“Before that, though,” she pressed him.

“When we met you wouldn’t shut up about the College, I didn’t think you would be able to offer me anything.” Eilonwy knew she ought not to be hurt by that, that by now she ought to have thicker skin. Still, it stung a little.

“I came to the College to seek a safe haven, for research. There are a few hundred years of magic-using before them. My first spells I didn’t learn from tomes, I repeated their names and effects. I told myself again and again that I could walk on water, until the spell was the only thing in my mind, and my words became true.” She still remembered what it felt like, to feel her foot touch the water, but not sink. Two steps later and she sank faster than a rock, but for that one moment she thought herself the most powerful mage in the world. “The spell you learned today will save your life one day, especially if you keep following me. If you’re willing, I can help you learn more.”

Rumarin’s attention had returned to his hand, contemplating it with an expression rarely seen on the blade binder’s face. “No tomes?”

“None.”

“Fine, but if it doesn’t work then you pay me 100 septims. No, you treat me to a meal. And the next time you drag my up High Hrothgar you’ll have to give me a piggyback ride.”

“It’s a deal,” she said. “We shall start tomorrow.”

* * *

When Eilonwy had told him they were starting tomorrow, he had imagined that meant they’d be starting bright and early. He was surprised to find that by the time he stirred, she’d packed half the camp away. It wasn’t like her to back out of a promise, which was lucky because half of her life seemed to be made of them. It was always ‘I’ll find your lost amulet’ or 'I’ll kill the bandits’ with her. She’d kept every one so far, as far as he could tell the only two promises left unfulfilled were saving Nirn and, well, teaching him a spell.

“Are we leaving?” he asked. “I always find it easier to learn when there’s a beer at hand, don’t you think-”

“When we stop for the night, then we can begin. In the meantime, it gives you time to practise your ward spell. Master that, and I’ll determine where we can go from there,” she explained, slipping her blue robes on over her clothes. She was always so matter-of-fact with him, as if she were compensating for his… his everything. There were days when Rumarin wanted to get her drunk, just to see what embarrassing thoughts she kept hidden under lock and key.

“Yes, Ms. Eilonwy,” he said with a smirk, shrugging on his knock-off college robes.

They were on the road within the hour, their camp strapped to the back of the sturdy palamino that Eilonwy had steadfastly refused to name. He’d taken to calling it Apple, anyway. When they were walking it was mostly him who did the talking, he liked to think his jokes brought life to the frosty tundras of Skyrim. Of course, here in the Rift there was already plenty of life to be had, but Rumarin didn’t see much harm in adding to it.

Eilonwy had taken a liking to his jokes right away, even the bad ones. It had been ages since someone had laughed at the punchline to 'Have you seen a healer?’. He had been in the midst of forming a comment about the forest when the first arrow whizzed by them. “Would it be too much to ask for one leisurely stroll through the forest that doesn’t end with a bloodbath?” he moaned.

His companion already had a fireball at the ready, throwing it into the face of the first bandit who stepped into her line of sight. “It seems like the perfect time for you to try out that ward spell of yours,” she said, before charging off. He lost sight of her fast. The bandits came out of the trees from both sides, they were on him in seconds. Apple turned tail and fled, the horse had even less appetite for battle than he. A bandit swung at him from his left, and he’d barely enough time to cast a ward spell as the mace connected with his shield. It shattered in an instant, and he remembered what that Tolfdir had told the apprentice mages. Cast the spell before you need it. Right.

He stepped out of the way of the bandit’s next strike. Conjuring a blade, Rumarin couldn’t help but smile as he swung at his foe’s chest. The bandits had probably been expecting another spell weaver, not another sword to cross blades with. He was ready for the next strike, his ward up well before the mace clashed against it. It was nerve-wracking to see a spiked ball of death mere inches from his arm. As he took the opportunity to stab, he found himself wondering if there was a way to make wards more solid looking.

His blade found the weak point in the bandit’s armor. He didn’t have to guess if that was it for the bandit or not, the look in his eyes said it all. Rumarin pulled out his sword, and slashed it across the bandit’s throat. He never knew if he did it out of pity, or habit. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, as there were others that had to be dealt with. Some fled, he liked to think it was he that frightened them, and not the fireballs that exploded in their faces. The ones that remained soon met the end of his sword.

As the bandits dispersed, he began to think about finding their horse. Hopefully it hadn’t stampeded into a den of frostbite spiders in its haste. Or worse, a dragon. It had happened before, it was a miracle poor Apple still lived to tell the tale.

A cry grabbed his attention, however, and in seconds he forgot about the horse. “Eilonwy?” he called, seeing nothing but trees on either side. A bolt of lightning caught his eye, and he ran towards it. Another bandit lay against the ground, the smell of burnt hair overpowered the smell of blood. Not a few yards away Eilonwy lay, propped up by a tree. She clutched her side, blood seeping between golden fingers. “What happened?”

“She snuck up on me,” Eilonwy muttered, avoiding his gaze.

Rumarin managed a smile, though it felt more forced than his usual grin. “Well, not everyone can be as skilled with wards as I am. Luckily, you’re better at about everything else. Heal up, I think Apple’s half-way to Whiterun by now.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t?”

“Ran out of magicka.”

“Er, here, maybe we have a potion.”

Eilonwy attempted what he thought was supposed to be a smile. It looked more like a grimace. She looked at him, eyes squinting from the midday sun. “When I told you I felt like we’d forgotten to pick something up in Riften…”

Rumarin felt the blood drain from his face. He’d had the rug pulled out from under him before, but never like this. “Shor’s Stone isn’t too far down the road. I could-”

“You need to do it.”

“The horse could probably heal you better than I can.” The joke fell a little flat, but it was hard to think of anything when all he could see was blood on her robes.

“Rumarin.”

“I’ll try. If it doesn’t work, I’ll give you a week to recover before I expect that piggyback ride.” He saw the crows feet in the corner of her eyes crease, and he knew she was smiling.

It had been so much easier when she was the one using a spell on him. There wasn’t any time to tell her jokes about the long-term effects of this one paltry restoration spell. No time to tease her and tell her that she’d probably fall in love with him after this, and if she did he wouldn’t blame her. Women liked the sensitive types, and healers went hand-in-hand with sensitivity.

He held his hand over the wound, trying to remember what it felt like when she felt him. It always felt… warm. It felt stupid to compare it to a hug when their bodies never met, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Rumarin traced his teeth with his tongue, concentrating on that feeling, no matter how stupid it was. After a moment he felt a tingling in his fingers. He heard a tiny jingling sound, like there were small bells ringing in the palms of his hands. The wound on Eilonwy’s side began to close, growing together like it had never been split in the first place. Surprise lit up the bladebinder’s face, and before he could even finish he looked at her, beaming. “You should get injured like this more often! That way I’ll have it mastered in no–” As quickly as the magic had come, it was gone. No sooner than that, he saw her her skin start to bruise a brownish-pink, like the wound had opened up again inside.

Eilonwy didn’t seem put off, however. From her pack she pulled out a tiny blue bottle, and chugged it down. In a flash the bruise was gone, leaving nothing but smooth golden skin behind. “But you- I, did you do this on purpose?”

“No,” she replied, sitting up a little straighter. “Er, yes and no. The bandit did get me, but before I lost my strength I managed to find this on her person.” Eilonwy waved the empty bottle in her hand. “I thought I’d use it as a learning opportunity. It saved me the trouble of staging something else later." Rumarin let out something that was somewhere between a scoff and a sigh, sinking onto his knees. "I was afraid you would catch on. After observing how quickly you learned to use a ward in a controlled, but dangerous environment, I thought it only natural to apply the same to healing spells.”

“You’re…” Words failed him. He had known the mage had a reckless side, every adventure did, but this?

“You’re a healer,” she said. Eilonwy stood carefully, using the tree to balance. A second later her hand reached out to him, waiting for him to take it.

“I am, aren’t I?” he said. Grasping her hand, she pulled him up. Rumarin barely had a moment to steady himself when she pulled again, this time into a hug. After the nonstop action of the past five minutes or so, it was a refreshing change of pace.

“I’m proud of you. Sorry if I, er, if I scared you.”

The nice thing about Eilonwy was that he knew she was being genuine, whether he deserved the comments or not. “I wasn’t scared,” he said, already feeling his predisposition for jokes returning. “Maybe I was a bit… concerned.” She giggled, pulling back to smile at him.

“Does this mean that you’ll buy me dinner at the next town we pass?” she asked, her hands slowly letting go of him.

“I think that part of the deal only extended to me.”

“In that case maybe I’ll have to teach you another spell. While I was lying there I thought about riding through the entrance to the Greybeard’s temple on your shoulders.”

His ears had to be deceiving him, was that a joke? “I’ll consider it.”

Eilonwy laughed again, beginning to walk back towards the path. “I can even incorporate it into your training. I happen to know a few feather spells…”

“Ask me again later,” Rumarin said as he placed a hand on her shoulder, guiding her towards where Apple had run. “I need to recover from the trauma of this last lesson first.”

#fandom: elder scrolls #fandom: skyrim #fandom: 3dnpc #character: rumarin #character: eilonwy #pairing: rumarin x eilonwy

5 notes · View notes

heroes-trash · 4 years

Text

personality + powers (theory)

far as i know / have heard, there are 4 possible explanations as to why a person has the power that they have.

the first two are almost the same, really: random chance and genetic inheritance. why they’re the same? because the chance of inheriting (not to mention, expressing!) the exact same traits one of your parents had is pretty low irl as well. much higher is the chance to have something similar, but not rarely are children rather different from both of their parents.

the other two are the ones the show propagates, and while they’re not at all alike, they’re still intertwined: convenience and personality.

the convenience theory is brought up by Daphne in the scene where she, Matt and Ando debate what’ll happen if Ando receives the serum - Daphne is convinced it’ll give him something he needs, citing it’s what happened to her and claiming it also describes Matt’s situation. but the way she says it... it could also make a rather good case for a personality-based theory, and that’s also the one i see most often in fandom.

which is why under the cut, i will go through every single powered character on the show (who we know a reasonable much about) and do a quick analysis of how well each of the latter theories fits them ^^

credited-as main characters:

Peter: personality-based seems more likely, as he is a very giving/empathetic person, and he wants to be extraordinary

Claire: if her ability had activated in Meredith’s burning home, i’d have argued for convenience, but a simple cut in her palm (however deep).... nah. neither seems to apply much here in fact

Hiro: personality-based maybe, because of all his heroic dreams

Matt: Daphne claimed he’d ‘always’ worried was others thought of him, so you can kind of argue personality... but mostly i suppose convenience, in his job as well as possibly generally because of his dyslexia (although he was adamant about not using it to his advantage that way)

Mohinder: one could argue convenience if you consider the fact that some guys tried to rob him when he was still dozing after the injection, and the first thing he did was defend himself against them... but you can defend yourself with many abilities. i once read that his ability amplified him because he’d always ‘had more in him’, and while cheesy, maybe that’s true? so personality-based for him i’d wager

Nathan: his ‘high ambitions’ are basically a running gag at this point, and the comics never fail to overstate how much he’d always loved flying - hell, even the show hints at it. so personality-based for him for sure

Sylar: while we can’t be certain when exactly he activated (at the latest eclipse, or even in his early childhood?), it’s undeniable he is fascinated with complex things. personality-based again

Angela: her powers have often been convenient, but also pretty hit-and-miss; especially at the start, fatally so. and unless you make the stretch to her taking responsibility (= being farsighted) young, i don’t really see personality-based either, so neither seems to really apply

Micah: we first see him use his power to help his family, but he surely had it before - he seemed confident with it already at that point. he’s smart, and very interested in electronics; though we can’t know for sure which came first (see Sylar), personality-based is likely here too

D.L.: arguably a good example for convenience, as he (according to some deleted scenes, anyway) first manifested when he was desperate to get out of prison

Isaac: as apparently you don’t need to be able to paint to be a precog painter (see Peter’s stick figures), i don’t see how either much applies here...

Elle: again neither looks very likely, unless you stretch personality-based to electrifying-slash-prickly (and she activated at nine so ,,,)

Monica: she’s ambitious and wants to be more successful than her family before her, and support them and herself - so is that convenience or personality, now? i’d argue convenience, because nothing in her suggests she specifically wants to copy other people

Samuel: frankly we don’t know enough of him to argue for either, but it’s definitely not convenience-based because he literally activated before he was born (much like Nathan and Malina), sooo

Ando: funnily enough, although Daphne argued so hard for convenience, i’d say it’s a personality-based case for him - he is the devoted friend, the designated sidekick in the best way. or is that convenience again after all... bit of both maybe

Niki: i’m not quite sure about convenience here honestly, as we don’t really see her first first time of using her ability (Jessica threatening her (their?) father was an early one, but the first?? no, how would she even know?) - and it’s even kinda implied in the comics that the triplets all started expressing theirs as teenagers or even younger - but the strength of an abuse survivor....... yeah i’d go with personality-based

Maya: she’s a bit whiny and occasionally bitter sure, but there’s nothing in her personality to suggest she wants to commit mass murder every time she’s upset. it’s not even convenient, really [well it was in Exodus but ,,,] so [for the timeline we wound up getting] i’d argue neither

Adam: what i couldn’t claim for Claire, absolutely applies to him - his ability literally saved his life upon first manifesting, so convenience here for sure. (although he’s pretty persevering, in a very weasle-y way...)

Tracy: again with the comics implying the triplets activated as teens / even kids!!! but discounting that.... personality-based, i guess? what with her ice-cold career-orientated attitude... sure there’s some convenience in the mix, but there are a lot more convenient ways of getting rid of a journalist than killing him, so :’D

other relevant characters, introduced in S1:

René: convenience is straight out of the window here, considering his primary ability activating got his people killed/abused, and his secondary ability activating killed those oppressors (which only on first glance sounds good) - but personality-based? i’m not sure either... he’s an unsuspecting little fellow, but that’s not quite enough... and he uses his ability to fight against ability abuse he experienced as a kid, but i’m still not sure. thoughts? i’ll tentatively say neither...

Molly: neither really fits, far as we know

Charlie: she has a strong interest in learning and we can at least assume that didn’t just start when she discovered she was good at it - so i’d say personality-based

Claude: i’d tentatively argue for convenience, as he isn’t exactly the most subtle fellow... and has been obscuring his identity even before he started working for the Company (!!), so he’s likely running from smth, for which his ability is definitely very useful

Sanjog: we absolutely don’t know enough about him to argue for either, although he does seem to embrace his ability, so maybe he wanted something like this....?? really all speculation though

Charles: he seems like an empathetic, kind man - so telepathy isn’t the biggest stretch for personality-based. it is however some stretch, so how about convenience? well; we do see him using it to stop (well...pause) racist regulations and police brutality......

Linderman: very classic case of convenience-based, as the first time he activated, he healed his dying mother

Ted: neither in my opinion - his ability isn’t even slightly convenient for him, and he is stubborn not unstable far as we at all know

Hana: possibly neither, possibly a bit of both, as she is a descendant of fighters and a spy herself - but then that’s too wide a field, a lot of abilities could help with that... i say neither

Eden: convenience, as she first used it to escape her oppressive home

Paulette: we don’t really know enough about her to argue for either

Meredith: neither seems quite likely - her ability hasn’t exactly brought her much luck, and she has a strong character but not exactly fiery enough to quite play into that cliché, either

Kaito: very likely personality-based, as his ability plays right into his career ambitions (in fact pretty much was what made him so successful so fast)

Candice: something both, something in-between, maybe? she dreamed herself away, and dreamt of punishing her bullies, and she could do both with this ability

other relevant characters, introduced in later seasons:

West: he enjoys being special, but apart from that, there is no real evidence that can be used to argue for either

Alejandro: [if you even assume he has an ability, i personally have some Doubts] probably personality-based, as he is Maya’s other half one way or another

Bob: his ability is objectively convenient, but i’m still not sure an argument can be made for either, as too little (= nothing) is known about his childhood, and neither about his character except ambitious/controlling and kind of a loser when it comes to relationships (divorced and often the fifth (or seventh) wheel when younger)

Maury: another case of too little information for either - he seems to submit to strength/authority rather easily, and only ever committed petty crime, so one can’t argue for criminal mastermind either

Doyle: i don’t think there’s been any information on how he activated (correct me if i’m wrong), and while he does use his ability to compensate for being unsuccessful in forming,, Any kinds of relationships, i still wouldn’t say it’s necessarily personality-based (and something this broad definitely doesn’t qualify as convenience)

Alice: her ability isn’t exactly what you’d call convenient :’D and personality-based would probably be something more fairytale-esque for her, so that’s out as well

Alex: he’s a swimmer, so a bit in-between i suppose (we once more don’t know enough to argue semantics)

Samson: we definitely don’t know enough about him or what he was like before activating (is this ‘putting animals/people to sleep’ thing even part of his primary ability, or does is that just his preferred hunting tool like telekinesis is for his son?)

Luke: we don’t know how he first activated, but maybe personality-based works if you stretch it to ‘destructive teen’...?

'Baron Samedi’: both seem plausible if he’s always dreamed of ‘making it big’ (in his way), which i think we can safely assume, but once more we don’t know nearly enough about his childhood, and technically there’s a lot of ability that are good for demonstrating strenght... maybe he first activated in a firefight (with the Tonton Macoute?).........?? but that’s pure speculation

Arthur: he has always been ruthless and controlling, and never for a minute believed that people with abilities should stick together by default - being able to take them away from others to strengthen himself fully plays into his personality imo

Ishi: apart from apparently being a nurturing, sweet mother, we know little of her... i’d tentatively argue for personality-based, but who knows how she activated?? too little information, again

Daphne: convenience for sure, there’s a reasons she made a case for that

Knox: general question - is ‘circumstances X grew up in’ still convenience or personality already?

Jesse: same as Knox pretty much, we can’t know

Flint: i’d carefully say unstable temperament -> personality

Scott: again a bit of a what-came-first question: he wanted to be ‘’better’’, but did he always want that or did that only come from past failures and the resulting fear for the future? we don’t know because we barely know him

James Martin: i’ll stick my neck out for personality-based, that he’d longed to be somebody else, somebody significant for a while even before activating (i mean - why else impersonate others instead of just improving himself?)

Emma: mostly convenience-based, but as she has a general affinity for music and soft things... in-between, maybe?

Edgar: IF he was indeed the commitment-averse guy Lydia described, i’d say personality-based, but i’m honestly torn about that and don’t have any other significant things, so i won’t speak a final verdict

Rebecca: convenience for sure, for hiding and revenge

Lydia: assuming here she indeed activated young, this is another difficult one - maybe she was always empathetic, maybe not??

Joseph: his ability sure is convenient, but it’s absolutely unclear whether other people perceived him as pleasant/trustworthy because he made them feel that way (literally) or whether that links back to his true character. he seems like a responsible guy overall, but that doesn’t get you to either side of the coin, only an in-between

now i left out some of the most obviously inherited ones / ones that at least have a heritable component. those are, in short: Peter(-Arthur), Matt(-Maury), Sylar(-Samson), (Maya-Alejandro?), Ted(-Mindy), Meredith(-Flint), and the Bowman family

and i also left out Reborn, which works a lot more with heritable abilities, but this post is really long enough already :’D

so, final summary (regarding convenience vs personality):

convenience-based: 11

personality-based: 15

both/in-between: 4

neither: 12

too little information: 14

which makes for a pretty even split that lets one argue for whatever they prefer, honestly XD still hope this was enlightening/interesting to read, and looking forward to all of your opinions!!

#nbc heroes #primatech #heroes theories #do you disagree with any of my verdicts? (or do you have any questions? i know i referenced the comics a lot)#(i had to otherwise 'too little information' would've been like;; half ?? lmao)

9 notes · View notes