#decide to meet up and even though it’s been 11 years it’s like nothings changed

[alotofpockets]

Meeting again | Part 1 - Part 2 | Leah Williamson x Reader

Where you take your son to Leah's book signing and you reconnect with your high school friend/crush.

Thank you @totaly-obsessed for letting me bounch ideas off of you for this one!

Woso masterlist | Words: 2.7k

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When you check your phone after waking up, you see a text from Leah. Her name amongst your notifications instantly brings a smile to your face.

Leah: Hey, good morning! Can I pick you up at 11 for that coffee?

You text her back instantly, no longer being scared of messaging her, after you’ve spent the evening together last night. After doing some stuff around the house, you get ready, and wait for Leah to pick you up.

At the coffee shop Leah went to order for the both of you, while you found a spot to sit. You were admiring your surroundings, when Leah headed your way with two cups in hand. “No coffee for you?” Her placing a mug with hot chocolate down in front of her peaks your interest. “Oh, yeah, I don’t drink coffee.” She says with a shy smile. “Why didn’t you say so when I asked you out for coffee? We could’ve gone somewhere else!” Leah shakes her head instantly, “Don’t worry about it, I was happy with the invite to see you sooner, and this place has the best hot chocolate in town.”

You fall into conversation with Leah just as easily as you had done yesterday. With years to catch up on, there were enough topics to keep you talking. Though, even if you had fully caught up with Leah, you think you’d still find topics of conversation to get to stay talking to her.

The first time you got quiet for a moment was when Leah said, “I’ve been trying to piece together how we stopped being friends all those years ago.” Your eyes fall to your lap, it had been your fault that the two of you stopped being friends. You wish things would have been different, but then again, you would not have Liam. Liam meant the world to you. “I remember us being really close, and then some rumours spread.” Your eyes meet her nervously. You noticed a slightly hopeful look behind her eyes, as if she was never fully able to understand what happened back when you were kids. So, you took a deep breath and started talking.

“Okay, the rumour, the one where it spread around the school that I liked you, was never actually a rumour.” Leah’s blue eyes pierced into yours. “Oh?” A part of Leah felt relieved that those almost moments between the two of you growing up weren’t just in her head. “Yeah, basically I confided in Maria, one of my best friends, about my feelings for you, because they were confusing me. You know as a teenager finding out that the feelings you’re meant to be having for a boy, you are feeling for a girl.” Leah nodded in understanding. “Well, she was apparently very homophobic, and decided to tell the whole school. I stopped being friends with her instantly, and you know the rest. I got together with Ryan to get people off my back, and put distance between the two of us. I think I even convinced myself for a moment that I could be straight, but yeah that’s not me.” 

You let your eyes meet Leah’s again, there was no anger or hurt behind her eyes, just softness and understanding. “I am truly sorry about how everything played out, and if I hurt you in any way, that was never my intention.” Leah reaches for your hand on the table and gives it a soft squeeze, “You have nothing to apologise for. What Maria did is truly terrible, and I wish I could’ve been there for you at that time. All of that is in the past now though, and we cannot change it.” Her hand stays on yours. “You’re right, we can only focus on the future.” The blonde smiles and nods. “Well, that was a lot deeper than coffee would have gone, but I’m glad we were able to talk about this.” You both laugh. “I should really head back though, I have to pick up Liam from school in a bit.” 

Leah drives you back to your place, and the two of you share a hug when you arrive. “Thank you for today. We should do this again sometime.” Leah says, and you agree instantly, “Yeah, I’ll text you later?” And you did. After Liam went to bed that night, you were texting back and forth with Leah all night, until you fell asleep with the conversation still open. 

The next time you saw Leah, you and Liam watched her play on Sunday. You were rather far from the railings, but Leah found you amongst the crowd and set the both of you a wave when the match was over. 

Since Liam missed Leah for dinner the first time when he had invited her without your knowing, and it got you to reconnect with Leah, you decided to invite her over for dinner that night with the both of you. You decided to make pizza together, since you found out that alike your son, Leah’s favourite food was pizza. Leah was amazing with Liam, you admired the two of them as they were busy chatting, while decorating their pizza’s. 

While you sat down for dinner, you talked about your plans for the week like you always did with Liam, but now including Leah. You had always found it important to know what was ahead, especially since Liam was at his dad’s for half of the week. You had given Leah the honours of talking about her week first as the guest, she told you about her work schedule, and some other things she had planned for the week. Then Liam wanted you to go next, so you shared your work schedule, and your plan to spend your days off with. Liam wanted to finish off the round, he told you about his plans with Ryan, and what he knew about school. “Oh, and mom, what are you doing for the class tomorrow?” Your brows furrowed in surprise, “What do you mean, bud?” 

“It’s your turn to do the class trip tomorrow, do you not have anything planned?” Liam asks in a worried tone. “Buddy, I’m so sorry, but I don’t know anything about it being my turn.” He stood up from the table and you were instantly worried, luckily he came right back with his backpack. “Here, Miss Owens sent this out.” He hands you a letter, informing the parents of the switch in schedules, and it did indeed show you for tomorrow. “Buddy, if this is still in your backpack, I have not seen it yet.” Realisation hits him, “Oh mom, I totally forgot to give it to you. What are we going to do?” Leah, who had been quiet during the interaction spoke up, “I think I might have an idea. I know it’s not my place, but I think I can help, may I?” She looked at you for permission. “Yes, please, I do not have the right connections to take a class out for the day this last minute.” 

Leah got up, “Alright, I am going to make some calls and I will make sure you will have a great day tomorrow, I promise.” She told Liam. She headed into the other room, and started planning away. About thirty minutes later she got back into the kitchen, “Alright, everything is set for tomorrow. I will keep it a surprise though, are you both okay with me coming to class tomorrow?” Liam instantly said yes without giving it a second thought, his friends would finally believe him when he said that he knew Leah Williamson. You nod as well, “Thank you so much Lee.” Leah’s heart started beating faster at the nickname she hadn’t heard from you in such a long time. She smiled and sat back down for dessert. 

The next morning Leah was at your door bright and early. You were busy packing Liam’s lunch when she knocked on the door. “Liam, can you get the door bud?” He came walking into the kitchen pulling Leah behind him, “Mom, Leah still won’t tell me what we’re going to do.” You smiled at the scene in front of you, a frowny kid, and a smirking Leah. “Don’t look at me, Leah went out of her way to arrange this for you, so let’s allow her the one rule she set in place for this.” He let go of her arm. “Fine.” He turned to Leah, “I am grateful that you did whatever it is that you did for me, I just would really like to know what it is.” She put her hand on his shoulder, “I know kiddo, just a little longer, I promise it will be worth the wait.”

You and Leah wait outside of the classroom, while the teacher starts out the day. “Thank you again for doing this, I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.” Leah shrugs, “You would’ve figured it out, you’re a great mom. I am glad I could help though, I hope the kids like it.” Leah zipped down her jacket to reveal her Arsenal jersey. “By the looks of that, I think the kids are going to love what you have in store.” Leah is about to say something back, but Miss Owens tells you the class is ready for you. 

The two of you step in, and you see the jaws of many kids in Liam’s class drop. “Hi kids, as many of you know, I am Liam’s mom. Today, I have brought someone special with me. I would like you all to meet Leah Williamson.” You introduced her to the crowd, “Hi, I’m Leah, and Liam told me you were looking forward to doing something fun with the whole class. What would you say if the Arsenal players bus was waiting just outside of the school?” The class erupted with excitement. “Would you all like to go and see?” Miss Owens calms down the class again before heading out, “Jackets please, and wait in a line outside of the classroom.”

Leah takes the lead and takes the kids to the players bus. At first they admire it from the outside, where the whole class takes a picture with Leah. Then Leah invites them to sit inside, once all the children are settled, Leah gets on the microphone and starts talking to the kids, and interacting with them. “So, who wants to go to The Emirates Stadium with me?” You couldn’t believe that Leah pulled all of this off in thirty minutes. She sat and talked with the kids, while you talked with Miss Owens. 

After a short tour, Leah guided the kids to the family and friends area of the stadium. “What do you all think of one more surprise?” The class starts cheering again, and right on queue, a group of Arsenal girls walk out. Katie McCabe, Lotte Wubben-Moy, Beth Mead, Vivianne Miedema, and Kim Little, greet the kids with waves. They all have a little meet and greet with the kids, before it is time for them to head back to school. Leah thanked the teacher, and waved bye to the teacher and the kids. Since it was already the end of the school day, and she wanted to show Liam some more behind the scenes things, she asked the teacher if it would be alright if she took the kids back on her own, with a promise of getting her some signed copies of her books for her own kids she agreed.

Liam was living his best life hanging out with his favourite players, like they were friends he had known all his life. Lotte walked up to you as you were watching him talk with the girls. “So, you and Leah go way back I hear?” You smile at her, “Yeah we do.” You and Lotte talk for a bit before she gets pulled aside. “It was nice meeting you y/n, I’ve heard a lot about you the past couple of years.” Lotte’s eyes widened when she realised what she had just said, Leah had just walked up to you, and her cheeks turned red instantly. “Sorry.” Lotte said before quickly walking back to the rest of the girls, and whispering something into Katie’s ear. The latter turns to you, “Mind if we show Liam around some more?” You shake your head and return your attention back to Leah.

“So, you’ve been talking about me for years, have you?” You didn’t think it was possible, but her cheeks turned even redder. While Leah was nervous, she felt like it was now or never. “I mean can you blame me? You are pretty hard to forget.” You’re the one with blushing cheeks now. Leah’s words hang in the air, and you feel a warmth spread in your chest. The way she spoke those words, makes you feel like maybe, she has felt the same way all along. 

“The feeling is mutual,” You reply after taking a moment. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. “I mean how could I forget the girl that was always able to bring a smile to my face, even on my worst days? I think I already proved that though, by coming to most of your matches.” You both laugh at the last comment. “I’ve missed this.” Leah reaches for your hand out of instinct, “You laugh, your smile, and just having you around.” 

Your heart is beating a million miles an hour, by the way she was looking at you right now. In that moment, when her ocean blue eyes stare lovingly into yours, you realise that perhaps the rumours, the misunderstandings, and the years apart were merely obstacles on the path to this moment right here. “I’ve missed you too, Lee. Remember when the other day we said that we can only focus on the future?” Leah nods, and rubs her thumb gently over the back of your hand. “I hope you’re a part of that future.” You nervously look up at her again. 

Leah gave your hand a soft squeeze, “I hope so too.” Her smile grows bigger as she continues, “I’ve thought about what could have been with us so many times, but right now, all I want is to be here with you, and see where time leads us.” Your smile grows just as big as hers is, Leah had felt the same way about you all of this time. “Would it be inappropriate to kiss you at your place of work?” Leah pulled you closer by the hand she was holding, and moved her other hand to your cheek, gently moving her finger over the soft skin there. “I am not working currently, so I think that should be alright.” She leans in the rest of the way, and after all these years of will they won’t they, and what could’ve been, you finally felt her soft lips on yours. 

A loud “Ahem” pulls you away from the blonde. You turn around and find Liam, Katie, and Lotte looking back at the two of you. Before you can say anything Liam turns to Katie and Lotte with a proud smile on his face, “I told you they would get together sometime soon!” Katie high fived him while you laughed, of course Liam had talked about your love life with the two people that were probably sharing Leah’s right back. Leah put her arm around your shoulder, and walked towards the group. “Who’s ready for some dinner?” Liam hugs you from your other side. “Mom, this has been the best day ever, can we please make it even better with McDonald’s for dinner?” You look around the group of girls left over to see if they’d be down too, when you get three nods, you look back to Liam. “Let’s do it.”

As you walk out of the stadium with Liam’s hand in your left, and Leah’s hand in your right, you couldn’t be more happy. 

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#leah williamson #leah williamson imagine #leah williamson x reader #arsenal wfc imagine #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #awfc imagine #awfc x reader #awfc #woso #woso imagine #woso imagines #woso x reader #engwnt x reader #england lionesses #engwnt #engwnt imagine

[buckrecs]

2023 𝙗𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙘 1

masterlist | ✨- fav fics | status - complete

All of them are COMPLETE Series.

1. hurts like hell by @extremelyblackandwhite

Bucky x Maximoff!Reader

she loses him at the battle of wakanda and grows into a morally grey witch trying to gain him back.

2. Broken by @soulgazingwithbucky

Bucky x Reader

You built the bridge between you and Bucky Barnes, but he only knows how to watch things burn.

3. Blood Petals by @picassho-18

Mob!Bucky x Assassin!Reader

When the famous death hungry assassin, the Blood Mistress, and the charismatic mob boss of Brooklyn city, James Barnes meet, heads will most definitely roll.

4. It’s A Match by @ofstarsandvibranium

Chubby!Bucky x Reader

You’re back home for Spring Break and you’re swiping through Tinder in the middle of the night. You come across the profile of your high school history teacher that you may or may not have had a slight crush on. Throwing impulse control out the window, you swipe right. Lo and behold, you’re shocked to find that you matched.

5. Ruin by @sinner-as-saint

Mob!Bucky x Reader

You work at a café owned by your family, close to your uni. And most of your days are pretty laid back and calm, but that is until you catch the eye of the mob boss. Your cute skirts and soft sweaters make him weak. Your innocence captivates him. And he wants you, badly. He wants you in his bed, wants his hand under those cute little skirts… he wants to ruin you. 

6. A Taste for Older Men by @seventven

DBF!Bucky x Reader

y/n is moving back in with her parents after breaking up with her college boyfriend. due to an emergency at work, y/n’s dad is unable to pick her up and sends his friend bucky in his stead. to bucky’s surprise, y/n is no longer the innocent girl he remembers from years back.

7. Always by @jadedvibes

Best Friend!Bucky x Reader

Bucky realizes he's in love with you right before graduation, but you accepted a job offer across the country. Fortunately, nothing, not even distance can hinder the way you feel about one another.

8. Running From the Past by @green-eyeddragonfanfiction

Bucky x Mutant!Reader

Reader is a mutant who was experimented on by HYDRA. Due to her unique powers, she escapes without being seen when the Avengers attack the Hydra compound she’s been kept in for the last 5 years of her life. Her mutations and Hydra experiments allow her to blend in with her surroundings and change her appearance in minor ways, though the changes are only temporary. She’s now on the run, avoiding both Hydra and SHIELD.

9. Operation: Faking It…? by @povlvr

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Surely faking a relationship to improve the public opinion of one beefy super solider known as Bucky Barnes would be the easiest of mission for two well seasoned Avengers? Tony Stark seems to think so & decides to task you with 'Operation: Faking it', but what happens when you realise there might be less faking needed than originally planned?

10. Misconceptions by @firefly-in-darkness

Bucky x Reader

Bucky Barnes overhears a conversation that he shouldn’t have…

11. Bucky & the Beast by @thejamesoldier

Assistant!Bucky x Boss!Reader

“You were an asshole back in high school but now you’re my boss.”

12. Buckyvision by @fictionalmemories ✨

Bucky x Reader

While fighting Wanda with you, Bucky gets hit with her power and wakes up to a reality that’s not his own.

13. Best. Date. Ever | Best. Proposal. Ever by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Bucky x Reader

This wasn’t quite what you had in mind.

14. Just Like You by @ladyfallonavenger

Dad!Bucky x Mom!Reader

The Reader loses Bucky in the snap and life presents a whole new challenge.

15. Heart of Steal by @invisibleanonymousmonsters

Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader

Sir James is known throughout the lands as the most fearsome and honorable warrior. Ballads have been written about him. Men fear him. He is the most trusted knight of the King Henry. So why has he given up the glories of war and pledged his loyalty to Princess Y/N? 

16. will you love me tomorrow? by @buckys-darling

Bucky x Reader

You and Bucky are friends who fuck and nothing more. That’s what you’ll keep telling yourself, at least.

17. I Needed You by @ofheroesandvillains ✨

Bucky x Reader

Reader tries to make sense of her feelings, it doesn’t really go too well, especially when Bucky already has a girl. 

18. sweet by @noceurous

FWB!Bucky x Reader

it was something cliche but your fuck buddy fell for you nonetheless, even though you swore you would never do relationships again. But rules are meant to be broken.

19. Hope Of It All by @bethdutten ✨

Bucky x Avenger!Reader

set between WS and CW; after saving Steve and breaking from Hydra, Bucky remembers you from the helicarrier. He doesn’t know where else to go.

20. Season Of The Witch by @msmarvelwrites

Bucky x Enhanced!Reader

Your witchy abilities get you in quite a bit of trouble from time to time… But this time you don’t mind so much. 

21. The Last Word by @thefallenbibliophilequote

Bucky x Reader

you and Bucky never get along, it’s not that you hate him- it’s just that he always finds ways to get on your nerves. You’ve had enough of it.

22. Super Mom by @marvelous-imagining

Bucky x Single Mom!Reader

23. Take Me Out by @shamevillain

Assassin!Bucky x Assassin!Reader

You and Bucky are both professionally trained assassins. Both contracted to kill the other. Both completely unaware.

24. Like I Want You by @tmpestuous

College!Bucky x Reader

you and bucky have been best friends your entire life and it’s never been anything but platonic. so why do things get so bad when he gets a new girlfriend?

25. Overthinking by @galaxy-siren

Bucky x Assistant!Reader

Tony and Bruce’s lab assistant, Y/N, is harboring feelings for Bucky. When she accidentally texts him that he’s cute, she overthinks the whole situation. It might just take the meddling of the other Avengers to work this out.

26. So This Is Love by @ofstarsandvibranium

Chubby!College!Bucky x Reader

friend and roommate, Bucky, is a bit of an annoying fuckboy. He sleeps around as well as tries to be as annoying to you as possible. But here’s the thing: you don’t mind any of it.

27. Some Alpha by @/ofstarsandvibranium

Alpha!Bucky x Reader

Bucky is an Alpha, but can never seem to find someone who wants him to be their Alpha. Until he finds you, a Beta, who’s as firey as an Alpha, yet also tender-hearted like an Omega.

28. The Favors by @bbyboybucket

Virgin!Bucky x Reader

Reader assumes that Bucky is experienced due to him being a ladies man in the 40s, however, she finds out that he’s never been touched and decides to help him out.

29. take my breath away by @buckycuddlebuddy ✨

Dilf!Neighbor!Pornstar!Bucky x Reader

who knew that your silent, very good-looking neighbor with the cutest kid was such a devil under his grumpy and quiet behavior... 

30. Capital Letters by @sinner-as-saint

Writer!Bucky x Assistant!Reader

James Buchanan Barnes, one of the best, most admired and affluent authors of your time turns out to be nothing but a heartless man... or so you thought. 

#bucky barnes fic rec #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes series #winter soldier x reader #mob!bucky #chubby!bucky #bucky x assassin!reader #dbf!bucky #best friend!bucky #bucky x enhanced!reader #bucky x mutant!reader #bucky x avenger!reader #dad!bucky x mom!reader #dad!bucky #bucky barnes x single mom!reader #Knight!Bucky x Princess!Reader #fwb!bucky #bucky x hydra!reader #assassin!bucky #roommate!bucky #bucky barnes college au #college!bucky #bucky x assistant!reader #alpha!bucky x omega!reader #alpha!bucky #pornstar!bucky #dilf!bucky

[tired-teacher-blog]

Characters : Tattoo artist Aizawa/ Florist fem reader

Featuring : Eri/ Hizashi Yamada/ Nemuri Kayama/ Oboro Shirakumo/ Emi Fukukado

Warnings and Genre : Fluff/ Romance/ Smut and Angst in future chapters/ Multi Chaptered Story

Summary : In a desperate attempt to get closer to the tattoo artist dominating every speck of your brain, you decide to pay him a visit one evening as a client seeking his service. This encounter will prove to be the beginning of something much bigger between you two, but will this new found passion be enough to stand against the difficulties your future holds?

Notes : Loosely inspired by this/ Art below is by the wonderful @/ael-draw who gifted me this gorgeous piece.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist|Third Masterlist

Chapter Count : Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 • Part 4 • Part 5 • Part 6 • Part 7 • Part 8 • Part 9 • Part 10 • Part 11

It has been a week already since that fateful day, and during the time nothing has really changed for you, you still get up early to go to work and spend the day relishing the happy smiles and cute stories of your customers as they rave about their dear ones who'd be receiving the fragrant blooms.

You still watch out the window for the locked tattoo studio across the street, breathing heavily as time nears his arrival.

You still roam the fictional realm you've built for yourself and the artist named Aizawa, your heart still skips a beat whenever your eyes meet with his black ones, and your mind still goes blank every evening when he greets you.

One thing has changed since then though, and it's the beautiful red rose traced on your skin.

You smile melancholically as you run your fingers along it, it's healing nicely but your heart is not, so maybe you will have to finally let go of your delusions, you -at least- have a reminder of him engraved in your skin now, and that's more than you can dream of attaining.

_ "Hello." a voice brings you back to your senses, a new costumer perhaps.

_ "Welcom.." you start as you shake off your innermost thoughts and prepare to receive the mysterious person, but this person is not mysterious at all, "Mr Aizawa." this person is him.

He stands a bit awkwardly at the door, smiling sheepishly while shoving his hands in his pants' pockets.

He looks almost cute, it's a new side of him that you're not used to seeing, but you love it.

_ "Please come in," you round the counter in a hurry to reach him, almost tripping over your own two feet in the process, "welcome to my humble shop."

You have never seen him under the illumination of daylight before, but now that you have, your amazement is only growing and your wish to take in every small detail of his handsome face is dominating your whole body.

_ "This place is beautiful, really soothing and serene." his eyes travel across every cozy corner of your little shop, lingering on the gorgeous flowers as they stood proudly in their vases.

_ "That's.. so nice of you, thank you, it really means a lot." never in a million years would you have thought to hear him mention your shop, let alone visit it, and it feels like a dream.

_ "So, you must be wondering why I'm here," he clears his throat before uttering, running a hand through his luscious locks as he continues, "I wanted to check in on you and see if you're healing well," he continues while glancing at your arm.

_ "Oh! Yeah.. yes, it feels so much better, it's almost completely healed actually," you are caught off guard by his statement, bringing your arm up slightly and staring at your new tattoo just so you wouldn't look at him, since the blush creeping up your cheeks is now too bright to hide.

_ "Great, and it looks good on you by the way." he replies softly, and you can clearly sense a smile in his words, but you're still too embarrassed to meet his eyes.

The air is strangely pleasant and comfortable around you, even though it probably shouldn't be, considering the circumstances, but you've always felt this way with him near, and you've always found it weird, that the mere thought of him is enough to calm your heart.

_ "Mr Aizawa!" your head snaps up abruptly, and your eyes sparkle as you call out his name -perhaps a bit louder than you have hoped- before running to the section of your shop where the dark pink roses are displayed, and leaving the stunned man behind.

His mouth falls slightly open, and his eyes blink in confusion while watching you skillfully cut the fresh blooms at a perfect angle and gather them in a stunning bouquet before walking back to him.

_ "These are for you," you hold out the roses for him, a shy smile appears on your face as you do, "the dark pink ones are a sign of appreciation and gratitude, and this is exactly how I feel right now," you lower your head again as your blush deepens, "you were so sweet and patient with me when I came to your studio, I will never forget that."

He takes the bouquet from your extended hands and holds it close to himself, but for once he seems lost for words as his eyes move between you and the sweet scented flowers, so you continue, "I know this is probably not something that would normally interest you, but I hope you don't hate them too much." and you giggle shyly while fiddling with your fingers.

_ "I love them, they're as beautiful as you are." his gaze is trained on you as he breathes out, and he does not miss the slight shiver shaking your body when hearing his words.

He pauses for a moment, contemplating what to say next before it turns awkward around you.

_ "So, there is something that I want to ask you," his tone turns into a serious one, prompting a hitch in your breathing as you eagerly await for him to continue, and he does, "would you like to go out with me for dinner sometime?"

He's asking you out, he actually is, this isn't a dream is it? What if you're misunderstanding? He can't possibly mean for it to be anything intimate or romantic like you hope it would be, right? There is no way..

_ "You mean.." you have to make sure, but the words refuse to leave your mouth.

_ "I mean, would you like to go on a date with me?" there, he said it for you.

A rush of emotions ripples through you as your mouth falls open and your eyes widen in sheer surprise, you have always dreamt of this moment and even built it up in your brain ever since you laid eyes on him, yet never have you ever thought it would come to be, but this isn't a fantasy anymore, this is real.

_ "Yes, yes I'd love that."

To be continued..

#aizawa shota x reader #aizawa x y/n #aizawa shouta smut #aizawa x you #aizawa shota smut #aizawa fluff #aizawa shouta x you #aizawa shouta x reader #aizawa headcanons #aizawa smut #aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa x you #shouta aizawa imagine #shouta aizawa headcanons #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa smut #Aizawa shouta fluff #aizawa shouta #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

[mandos-mind-trick]

Instinct, Part 11

Summary: Omegas were rare. Some even thought them extinct. So when Boba contacts Din saying he has a gift Din can’t refuse, the last thing he expects to find is an omega in need of an alpha. Din has to make the hard decision, but what else was he really doing anyways? But naturally, there’s more to this omega than meets the eye.

Pairing: Din Djarin x female!reader

Warnings: Injuries, blood, PTSD, some light medical stuff, The Empire, A/B/O

A/N: Uhhh yeah, it's been a minute with this one. I probably shouldn't say I had most of this one written up already, but I couldn't decide where I wanted to take the story. Well, I've decided now so I can confidently finish this one up.

< Previous | Next > | MASTERLIST | OC Version

It doesn’t hurt. 

You’ve felt a lot of pain in your lifetime, but the stab wound is almost nothing. Or maybe you’ve just gone numb. You had practically seen the shift in Din as he’d stood there, staring at the red on your fingers, the red staining your shirt. 

You're not sure when exactly he’d stabbed you. You hadn’t felt it in the haze of adrenaline. You're not sure where the knife is either. 

Din had approached you, taking one look at the wound before lifting you into his arms. You could sense the change in him, the detachment. He had one instinct in that moment and that was to get you help. You feel dizzy, vision in and out as you stare up at the sky. It’s blue, very blue. 

The blue fades to white as he enters the medical center. Your arms and legs have begun to tingle. Were you going to pass out? You're bleeding a lot. You can feel it. You squint up at the ceiling as Din lays you on the hard exam table. He’s scared, you can scent it under the tang of blood. 

You blink as your vision fades in and out, someone coming to stand over you. You don't recognize them...no. You do.

“No...no...please!” You struggle, but your limbs are restrained. 

“It’s alright.” He speaks quietly, leaning down closer to you. “Everything will be alright.” A bright light in your eyes. You feel far away, like your body is floating right out into space. 

“No!” You cry, weakly fighting the urge to sleep. “No!” 

“Everything’s going to be just fine.” 

****

His hands are shaking. 

He had felt the shift in his brain, his mind shutting down as soon as he saw the red on your fingers. He had acted purely on instinct, moving to catch you before you fell. He had held you up, analyzing the wound oozing thick red liquid for half a second before scooping you into his arms. He’d walked out the front door, uncaring of the police droids making their way down the street. 

He’d been totally numb as he carried you to the nearest medical facility. He could have taken you back to the Crest, but it was too far, and he wasn’t sure a simple bacta patch would work fast enough. The wound was deep and clean, the straight edge of the vibroblade meant to make the wound bleed and bleed. 

You had been awake the whole time, though your gaze had been hazy. He’d been rushed back into a room, the Nautolan doctor jumping right in to try and help. 

That was when everything had gone wrong. 

You had started fighting, struggling against the doctor and nurses. You had been screaming, eyes far away like you were seeing something else. He had managed to get you calm enough for them to administer a sedative. He had held you until you were unconscious and limp, the bloody smear on the front of his chestplate as you’d reached out for him. 

“Buir.” 

His hands are still shaking, the event playing over and over in his head. He’d never seen you like that before. He had been scared of you possibly losing control and your omega coming out, but it seemed you were somewhere else entirely. You had never spoken about anything like that, nor had Boba mentioned any aversion to medical centers or doctors. 

Maybe it had been deeply buried far below, repressed by years of suppressants. 

He’s worried. Whatever you had been seeing, it had been bad enough for you to call out for your parents. You never talked about them, never mentioned them beyond the night you’d told him how you got off Mandalore. They likely hadn’t made it, like so many others. That was a harsh reality to face, one he knew well. 

He stares at your peaceful face. You're still unconscious, the bacta working quickly to heal the stab wound. He feels guilty. You were here because of him. He had failed to consider that they might have known about him, about his quest. You had gotten hurt because of him, because of his mistake. 

He wants to call it quits, wants to load you onto the ship and fly back to Tatooine, but he knows he can’t. If you wanted to continue, he would, even if it was a bad decision. 

You have a lot to discuss when you wake up. He stares down at the smear on his chestplate. Just what exactly was that outburst? What had happened to you that had caused that kind of reaction? 

******

“Hello. My name is Doctor Ellezac. I am the chief scientist on this vessel. I will be overseeing you.” You flinch away from the hands that reach for your face. “How are you feeling?” 

“Where am I? Where is my buir?” You ask, voice thin sounding from the dryness in your throat. 

“You are on a transport vessel heading for a research base.” He pries your mouth open, looking inside. “Don’t worry. You will be well cared for.” 

You jerk your head away, glaring at him. “Where are the others?” You remembered the transport taking them to Concordia. The four omegas, the last four to make it off Mandalore alive. 

“Don’t worry. They’re being looked after.” He turns, grabbing something off a table. “It’s very fascinating to me, your kind. The ‘second gender’ Mandalorians utilize. All beings carry the ability, but the mechanics of it have been lost to most of us for centuries. Except for the Mandalorians.” He turns back to you, a syringe in hand. “The ‘instincts’ as you call them, are incredible. Heightened senses, increased strength, enhanced regeneration, among many other benefits.” 

You struggle against the restraints holding you to the bed as he sinks the syringe into your arm. He draws your blood, pulling from you until you begin to feel dizzy. 

“You’re going to be a great help to us.” He says, looking down at you. “You’ll be a great help to the Empire.” 

*****

You jolt as you wake, hands gripping the blankets tightly. You're wrapped tightly in blankets and a cloak, buried deep in Din’s scent. The whirring of the engines and the subtle shake of the ship tells you you're in the Crest. 

It takes you a moment, but you remember everything. You had been hunting their next targets, when everything had gone wrong. You’d been stabbed and Din had taken you to a medical facility. 

You had seen him. 

In truth, you had forgotten it entirely in the haze of memories before awakening from suppressants. It seemed like a long time ago, because it had been a long time ago. You couldn’t have guessed you’d react in such a way. You hadn’t reacted like that on Tatooine when the medical droid had looked over you. You hadn’t reacted that way any of the times Boba’s medical droid had treated you. 

Maybe simply because you didn’t remember. 

You remember now. You remember everything. 

You manage to free yourself from the cocoon of blankets, keeping Din’s cloak around you. It smells like him. It smells safe. You stand, stretching your side a bit. Your fingers slip under your shirt, feeling the smooth skin underneath. Not even a mark. 

You climb up the ladder, knowing Din is in the cockpit. He’ll have questions, and you’ll answer them. It’s dark in the cockpit, the Crest drifting through space. Din is seated in the pilot’s chair, back to you as you enter. You sit in one of the passenger seats, bundling yourself in his cloak. 

“We need to talk about it.” He says, keeping his gaze forward. 

“I know.” You say. “First I need you to know, I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember any of it until now.” 

“You were screaming. Calling out for your parents.” He says, voice pinched. “As soon as you saw the doctor it was like you’d lost your mind.” 

“I wasn’t there. I was somewhere else. Somewhere worse. I didn’t know it wasn’t happening again.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I’m sorry if I caused a scene. I’m sorry if I made things difficult, but please don’t be mad, I really didn’t remember exactly-” 

“I’m not mad.” He says, finally turning around. “I just want to know what you saw that caused a reaction like that.” 

You nod, taking a shaky breath, trying to calm the nerves that had built up. “To start, we have to go back to the Purge. There were four of us on the last ship that left the omega temple before it was hit. Four omegas and the droid pilot with coordinates to Concordia. Only we didn’t get that far. As soon as we left the atmosphere, something was waiting. Something pulled us in.” 

Din nods. He knew most of this already from what you’d told him. The small bit you’d remembered after the suppressants. 

“It wasn’t pirates or smugglers. It was the Empire. I don’t know if it was your luck, or somehow they knew where we were heading...they pulled us in. I remember them breaking through the hatch. Stormtroopers flooding the hull. I don’t remember much after that. I woke up sometime later in what looked like a medical facility. There was a man there. His name was Doctor Ellezac. He was the head scientist for some division of the Empire. He knew a lot about us, about omegas and alphas. Too much to be coincidence.” 

Din shifts in his seat, hands closing into fists. The thought that it was the Empire that took the last of the omegas...it makes him angry. 

“They took us to some facility. They ran tests on us. They wanted to know how our instincts worked, how our abilities manifested, how they were controlled.” You wipe a tear from your cheek. “I don’t know how long we were there, but I remember when the Empire fell. They tried to get off world, tried to evacuate us somewhere else, but that’s when the pirates arrived. They thought it had been abandoned, but we were still there. The Empire took ten omegas. There were only three of us by the time the pirates came.” 

“They knew what you were.” Din says, trying to calm his raging alpha. 

You nod. “They knew what we were worth too. That’s when it started. The suppressants, being traded across the galaxy.” You shake your head. “If I had known...I wouldn’t have-” 

“I’m glad you did.” Din says. “Even if we’ve only killed seven of them, even if we can’t finish, I’m glad we at least gave some of them what they deserve.” 

You wipe another tear from your cheek. “I don’t know if we should continue. I-I mean...we could wind up in something bigger than just the two of us. If there’s remnants out there, if they find out...I don’t know if they’ll come for me again. I don’t want to put you in danger like that.” 

He leans forward, pulling you up from the passenger seat. “I made a promise when I mated you that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. That I would protect you and our pack. If that means fighting off the Empire again, then I would do it.” 

You climb into his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I don’t want you to have to fight the Empire. I-If something happened to you...” 

“Nothing is going to happen to me.” He says. “I think we should take a break.” 

You look up at his helmet, looking at the visor. “What?” 

“We’ll take a break. Find somewhere to lay low for a while. I know you’re stressed, and this new development is concerning.” He spins you back around, keeping you in his lap as he begins hitting buttons on the console. “I already found us a place.”  

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” You murmur. 

“You were asleep for a while.” He puts a hand on your back as the Crest hums to life, preparing to jump into hyperspace. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while too. You’re not as accustomed to this as I am, and it’s not your nature to run around the galaxy non-stop. We have enough credits for now. We can worry about what’s next later.” 

You press your nose into his neck, breathing him in for a moment. You can’t sense what he’s feeling, the beskar and his flightsuit blocking you from reaching his neck. You don't move to remove his helmet, not feeling like you’re in a good enough place to do something so bold. 

“Din...” You murmur after a few moments, the blue of hyperspace flashing around you. “I’m sorry.” 

He tightens his hold on you, the hand that had been on your back sliding up to the back of your neck. “Don’t.” 

Tears spring into your eyes, your body pressing closer to his out of pure instinct. He lets go of you for a moment to pull his helmet off, letting it clunk to the floor. You immediately press your face against his throat, breathing him in. He’s not angry, not at you. His scent is thick with worry and the sharp edge of protectiveness alphas projected when their clans were in danger. 

“I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I never wanted you to get hurt.” He says, pressing his face into the top of your head. 

“You couldn’t have known.” You murmur against his neck. “It was always a risk.” 

He tightens his hold on you for a moment. “I should have done more. I should have tried harder.” 

“I was the one that asked to do this.” You say, pulling back to look in his eyes. There’s tears in them. “Maybe...maybe we need this break. Like you said...we can worry about what happens next later.” 

He pulls you back in, holding you until the ship drops from hyperspace. 

**** A Few Weeks Later ****

The warm breeze feels good against your skin. The sand is warm against your bare feet, your toes digging in, enjoying the feel. It’s not like the sand on Tatooine. This place couldn’t be more different than Tatooine. 

Blue water stretches as far as you can see in front of you. It’s bluer than you’ve ever seen. Behind you stretches a line of trees, only broken by the small shack you had been staying in. There’s no one on the small island but you, most of the inhabitants on the larger island a short boat ride to the South. 

You’re very much in love with this planet. You could stay here forever, basking in the warm sunlight on the beach. When Din had first landed here, it had been in the midst of a storm and you had been skeptical. By the time you woke up the next day, the storm had cleared and left a bright blue sky behind. Storms were rare here, according to the locals. There hadn’t been one since the day you arrived. It had been nothing but beautiful weather, and you had been soaking up every minute of it you could. 

Arms wrap around your middle, pulling you back against the warm chest. You lean your head back against his shoulder, relaxing against him. “I could stay here forever.” 

“I know.” He says, kissing the top of your head. His bare hands trail up your arms, brushing along the sun-warmed skin. “Eventually we’ll need credits.” 

You pout. “I’m sure you could find a job doing something for the locals.” 

“I doubt they have much use for bounty hunters out here.” He says, turning you back towards the shack. 

“I wasn’t talking about bounty hunting.” You say. “You could be a fisherman.” 

He opens the door to the shack, giving you a look. 

You shrug. “What? You could! You’re good with repairs, I’m sure they could use a repairman or something.” 

“Don’t get any ideas.” He says, lifting you up and dropping you on the bed. 

“I know.” You sigh, pulling him down with you. “Boba might never forgive us if we moved to a planet like this without him.” 

He leans down, kissing you softly. You kiss him back, wrapping your arms around him. “We need to get more supplies soon.” He murmurs against your lips, running his hand along your back. 

“Tomorrow.” You sigh, pressing closer to him. 

He shifts his body on top of yours, your thighs parting to welcome him. You tug at his shirt, pulling it over his head. It was a miracle you got him out of his armor, but after their confirmed solitude on the island, he loosened up. 

“I love you.” You murmur against his lips, drawing his body closer. 

“Kar'taylir darasuum.” He breathes, losing himself in you. 

***

“Do you ever miss it?” You ask as you sit on the porch of the shack. The sun is setting, painting the sky in oranges and pinks. 

“What?” He asks, pulling you closer against his side. 

“Being with the covert?” 

He stiffens a bit at your question. You hadn’t talked much about it, beyond him telling you about his exile. You know it’s a sensitive topic to him, but that’s what you had been doing during this break. Digging up all the ugly things, talking about them and working through them. 

“Sometimes.” He says honestly. “It was what I was raised in. Being in exile, hiding away...it’s not the way Mandalorians are supposed to live.” 

“Would you ever want to go back?” You ask. 

He’s quiet for a few moments, his fingers tracing patterns along your bare arm. The touch sends shivers through your body. “It would be impossible.” He says. “Mandalore is cursed. Going there to try and bathe in the Waters...it would be impossible.” 

You squeeze his side, offering him comfort. “I’d go with you, if you ever wanted to try.” 

He sighs, leaning his head on yours. “It would be too much of a risk.” 

Silence settles between you as you watch the sun set, turning the sky purple then grey as night begins to settle in. 

“What would you do, if nothing was standing in our way?” He asks you, breaking the silence. 

You chew your lip for a moment, thinking it through before sighing. “I’d get through my next heat. Then maybe decide what I want.” You shift just slightly in his arms. “It’s coming, in the next couple days.” 

“I know.” He says. “I can smell it.” 

“Do you want to leave?” You ask. 

“No.” He shakes his head. “We’ll ride it out here. Then like you said, we’ll decide what to do.” 

You rest your head back on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. It smells good, mixed with the salty air of the sea. You wish you could just stay here, but you know that’s not an option. 

Taglist:

@donttamethebeasts, @unicorntrooper, @spacecluster, @hugmedin, @hungrhay, @fic-for-readers, @jaydiann, @tonystank3, @lokigirlszendaya, @6oceansofmoons, @star-trekker-0013, @bobaprint

#star wars #star wars fic #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin x reader #mando x reader #alpha din djarin #omega reader

[kickthecan-revolution]

Got here around 11:30pm last night to no internet. The electric wiring on one side of the downstairs duplex isn’t working, so no internet, tv or fireplace and the refrigerator is turned off because of a leak that’s raised the floor a bit. Theres so much deferred maintenance here, it’s such a huge project that it makes me tired to think about.

I needed to get dessert for the dinner tonight so woke up at 5am with a headache and decided to just go to the store. They were out of almost everything but I snagged some stuff, and then had to go to another store to get wrapping paper and tape because what I sent here via instacart yesterday arrived to the upstairs unit, and I didn’t want to disturb that tenant who’d not just brought it downstairs like I’d asked, even though there was picture confirmation he had it. Then my brother texted, asking me to bring more stuff.

For a second I flashed on all of the chaotic Christmases across the decade - going to gas stations and convenience stores Christmas Day because i worried my mom didn’t have enough food, trying to find things for people to snack on before dinner. Looking back, I don’t know if my concerns were valid, I think they just reflected some deep unspoken beliefs I held that my mom was not equipped to be able to pull off a dinner for a large amount of people in a way that wouldn’t make her completely stressed and shamed, and then have a meltdown that destroyed the day. I flashed to the chaos of staying in hotels and Airbnbs, and even here in between tenants on outdoor cushions and a sleeping bag in a freezing temperatures because the fireplace wouldn’t come on again. The constant rush of getting everything ready for Christmas Eve to go to my brother’s house, and then quickly flying out Christmas Day to get home fast to the rest of a vacation in front of the TV doing nothing by myself, but at least that wasn’t drama. The moments where two hours before we all went to my parents house on Christmas Day, my dad would call to cancel it because my mom wasn’t up for it anymore. All the wasted money and flights. I can’t remember a recent Christmas where there wasn’t some kind of drama or chaos or sadness or shame or anxiety. When you don’t feel like you really have a home, there’s something about Christmas that makes you feel so much more temporary.

But I can do this differently now. I can tackle these house issues up here in the spring. My sister will help me. I don’t have to rush around so much even though I don’t have a working refrigerator, there will be plenty for me to eat tomorrow, I don’t have to worry about that which I was panicking a little about in the grocery store trying to plan for it. I can rest a little bit today, wait for my headache to go away, and go take a walk and find some beach glass when the tide goes out. I can have fun with my friend Simone who I’m going to have lunch with later on today - I don’t have to worry about the place we agreed to meet at might be closed, we’ll find something else. I don’t have to go see my parents (where their ashes are) today – I can see them tomorrow on my way up to Bellingham. I don’t need to rush home tomorrow to catch a flight, I just changed my flight - thankfully this time at no cost - to leave late December 26 so I don’t have to get up early. I don’t have to rush and I can have a little time here in Seattle to just chill out.

I can do all of this now. I don’t have to be afraid. When my brain seizes up with fear, I can wait for it to slowly uncurl itself. I’m different than what I was back then. I can prioritize myself in my experience differently. I’ve done the work, I’ve been given the Blessing from the Source. Now I just need to live it. I’m so glad I’m leaving my company next year, life really does need to start being lived differently.

[nyhti]

Oh! I forgot to respond! Anything would be cool for you to share. I love your headcanons for Scarecrow so anything like that?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'm more shy about sharing Hugo headcanons, because we get very little canon information about pre-crisis Hugo (the Hugo I base my version on). With characters like Jonathan, who got an actual backstory, hobbies outside their gimmicks and what not, you have something to build your own headcanons around. You can come up with something, that wasn't in the original text, but that makes sense given what we know about the character. The headcanons are plausible and connected to canon, even if by a very, very thin thread. No such luck with Hugo. Because we know nothing about him, nearly every headcanon feels like it was pulled out of nowhere. It's not based on anything, because there's nothing to base it on. Coming up with headcanons for Hugo doesn't feel like expanding on an existing character, it feels like coming up with an OC.

So I'm a little shy to share the headcanons that are ”out there” to me (i.e. things with no canon basis), but I guess I can scrap together something lol xDDD I'm sure we all remember the iconic quote ”I am a model of mental health!” from Gotham Knights #8-11 ”Transference.” Even if you haven't read the story, you have surely seen this panel floating around:

And I like it. It's a funny line, but then there's also this exchange from Batman #356 ”The Double Life of Hugo Strange”:

Of course these are two different continuities, one pre- and one post-crisis, but it's still interesting how differently two people can write, what is supposed to be, the same character. The attitudes the different versions hold toward their mental health are like night and day. Usually in moments like this, I would simply pick one of them for my own verse, but this time I loved them both so much, that I just couldn't choose and so for a while I wondered how I could somehow have them both. I solved it by deciding that over time, Hugo's attitude toward the subject would change. It goes from ”I am a model of mental health!” to ”Does it matter?” In my verse, he begins to struggle with his mental health around his twenties. Back in the day, I used to headcanon he didn't start having symptoms until in his fifties, around the time we meet him in my verse, but I figured it works much better, if it started at a younger age. So, he has manic episodes. In his twenties, they weren't very severe yet. He did have a couple short hospital stays a few times when it all started, but symptoms really cleared up after finding the right medication. The hospital stays, however short they were, were not easy for him, though.

At first, he would try to deny there was anything wrong and that bringing him to the hospital was a mistake. The doctors would disagree, though, and after a week or two on medication, Hugo too would start to see that the way he had been acting wasn't normal. This is all very difficult for him, because he's a high achiever, a perfectionist. He needs to be the smartest, the strongest, the most powerful. He needs to be in peak psychical and mental condition at all times. He had a lot of great goals in life that he wanted to accomplish and ending up at a psychiatric ward most certainly wasn't one of them. It was a huge blow to his self-esteem. It really shook the mental imagine he had of himself. I'm sure he thought that mental illness is something that happens other people, people below him and so this was a bit of an identity crisis. I don't think he ever even thought about the pain the actual symptoms had cost him, all he ever thought about, was the pain to his ego brought on by the stigma of mental illness. I think another element that made his stays difficult, was that he was in med school at the time. It felt wrong to be the patient. This is not the position he had been studying for years to reach. I can just imagine young Hugo screaming at his psychiatrist: ”I am a model of mental health!”

Over time, however, especially after the medication proves so effective that Hugo can almost forget that he ever had episodes in his life, he would begin to accept the diagnosis, but only as a thing of the past. Something that he beat. He would still not be open about the diagnosis. If anybody ever asked him where he had been during those hospital stays, he would think of some convenient lie. Regardless, I think it is his own experience with mental illness combined with his general interest in the human mind that inspires him to specialize in psychiatry. I also think that he's stance on mental illness and mentally ill people would also soften. It has to, really. If he thinks mental illness only happens to those below him, does that mean he himself has now sunken somehow? Become less because of this? No, that can not be, he has to be the best, so clearly mental illness can in fact happen to anyone. Even the best of us. (I am now going to talk about how his illness developed and affected him later in life and for this, you need to keep in mind, that my verse is build upon pre-crisis continuity, so before deciding he wants to be Batman, he was a ”regular” criminal mastermind, only after money and power. He is sent to jail once Batman caught him and it is only years later, that he ends up in Arkham.)

In his late forties, when Bruce has become Batman and Hugo is arrested for the first time, his symptoms would start breaking through his medication. In these stressful situations his episodes would become more severe and start lasting longer. Since Batman was the first person to expose him and bring him down, he makes it his next goal to destroy him. It's really the only thing he can do. There simply cannot exist a person better than him, because he has to be the best. Also, he cannot let someone who humiliated him so live to tell the tale. And on a more practical level, he simply can no longer pull any larger jobs in Gotham City with Batman around, so getting rid of him becomes a necessity. It's during these fruitless struggles to beat Batman, that he starts experiencing psychotic symptoms for the first time. Around this time he also discovers Batman's identity and dons on the cape and cowl. At this point, he is about 50 and is admitted to Arkham for the first time. Ending up in prison was bad enough. His license to practice medicine was taken away, he was exposed to the world as a criminal and a heinous person, but it was still only prison. Prison couldn't take a way his believability among other criminals. Arkham is different, though. Ending up in the city worst ”nuthouse” not only made him lose respect and status among criminals, but also in his own eyes. It was an incredibly hard blow to his ego. Twice as hard as ending up at a psychiatric ward in his twenties.

At this point, he had been a psychiatrist for many years. If it was difficult for him to be the patient in med school, imagine how difficult it is for him now, especially when he now finds himself the patient in the exact field he specialized in.

And just as in his twenties, he would have to re-think his opinions on mental illness, and once again, the re-thinking comes from necessity. After the new medication helps him see things clearly again, there is no denying the fact he had been experiencing psychotic symptoms. What kind of a psychiatrist would he be, if he still tried to deny it when it was all so clear? He really came up against a wall here. His only options were to lie down and die or accept it and move on, to ask the world, to ask himself: ”Does it matter?”

#hugo strange

[sl33paholics]

The Unraveling Knots of Love

Jet Black x Black!fem reader

Warning(s): Mentions of sex, cheating, angst, tbh I just wanna make smth emotional

You were currently sitting across from your ex, Jet, on the navy blue round back sofa in the living room. Smoke was curling from the ends of the cigar you’d been smoking for the past half hour, and it was starting to burn your fingers. The air inside the apartment had been stuffy, hot even. You crushed the cigar on your ashtray, but Jet didn’t seem bothered. He looked bored with the whole thing. He wasn’t even drinking anything right now – he had a glass of water at his elbow instead, which he took great care to stir occasionally when he thought no one was looking. You wondered if that was intentional. Probably not.

It had been 11 years since the two of you last saw each other. A decade since your break up. Eleven years, and still nothing had changed about him. You could tell just by looking that he hadn’t changed a bit either. Now bald, those sideburns going down his cheeks to form a beard, you can see that the sides and the back of his head have hair, though. You lifted up your legs and had them to the side as you let out a huge sigh.

“I don’t know why I agreed to meet with you again,” you told him. It came out more like an accusation than a question. You tried to light another cigarette, but they were all gone, so you decided not to waste any time in saying whatever was on your mind. “We haven't spoken' to each other for 'bout, what, over ten years??" You asked. “And this is how you wanna spend your Friday night? Smoking cigars? Sitting on my couch in silence while we try to rebuild our...friendship?” You paused and waited for a response from him. Jet let out a laugh, and it echoed through the room. “You're still the same, Y/N. That sassy attitude of yours, the same way you acted when we first met." he said. "Same mouth. Same stubbornness."

You opened your mouth, ready to respond, but he cut you off. "Just look at yourself," Jet continued. His eyes were narrowed as he focused intently on you, and it almost seemed like he was searching for something.

"Look at yourself and tell me there's anything different about you."

"Well, maybe there is," you countered.

You knew he wasn't going to accept that. You'd given up trying to convince him. "I'm not going to sit here 'nd pretend 'ts okay, just because you want it to be. It don't change the fact that you cheated on me with a friend from high school." You leaned forward slightly, leaning towards him. Jet could see your breasts from your black nightgown, and he watched them move under your gown as you spoke. He swallowed hard. "You ain't sorry." You knew it would get to him. You knew it would make him realize. You wanted him to realize. There was no use in denying it anymore, after all these years. He could see it. He couldn't deny it anymore. You both knew that. But he was too caught up in pretending to ignore the truth to admit it. You knew you shouldn't give up on him, though. You knew he wouldn't do the same for you. Not yet. So you sat back against the cushion and crossed your arms, waiting for Jet to say it. You felt your heart beating faster as you waited. You hoped you weren't sweating. Jet was staring at you, but he wasn’t making eye contact. He wasn’t saying anything.

"Y/N…" he finally started. You waited, and he looked away before continuing. "Listen, I know I fucked up. Fucked up badly to the point where I can barely look at you without remembering all the times I used you. And I'm sorry for that. If only we could go back… I mean, I think you know that." He looked you straight in the eye. "Back then, I was stingy. I didn't apologize, doubled down, you know the whole deal. I guess I just got scared...getting caught." You nodded slowly. "And now I've matured and I can't run away from that...anymore." You stared at him, trying not to look like you wanted to jump out the window or cry. Your heart was racing, and you could feel the moisture collecting behind your eyelashes. "Can you forgive me?" The words sounded foreign coming out of his lips, as if he wasn't sure he was asking permission.

Your voice cracked as you answered. "Jet…" You sighed again, you felt tears beginning to fall down your face. Your hands started to shake uncontrollably. "I can't…I can't forgive you for what you did..." You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him anymore.

Jet leaned in, closer. Too close. "I'm sorry." You couldn't hear him breathe anymore, it sounded as if he was whispering into the shell of your ear. He placed a kiss on your cheek. It left a damp spot, like the rain outside on the balcony. "...asshole..” Jet pulled you into him and you put your head onto his shoulder. His shirt smelled like smoke and cigarettes, and his smell reminded you of home. You couldn't stop thinking about how long it had been since the two of you hugged like this. How long it had been since he held you this closely, kissed you this gently, or whispered these sweet words.

You could hardly believe you were holding him, kissing him...it had been eleven years. Ten if you counted the day he broke up with you. You were crying, shaking in his arms, and you couldn't remember the last time you cried this much. Or this hard. But you couldn't stop yourself from sobbing, feeling like a child whose parents had just kicked them out of their house. "I love you...Jet.." you managed to mumble between sobs. You didn’t really know why you were telling him all this. You'd be lying to yourself if you told him that you haven't thought about him from all these years. Hell, you've imagined this exact scene a thousand times since the day you realized he was cheating on you. You just never expected it to happen in real life. But it did. It was here, in front of you. It was real. Jet was here, holding you, kissing you. You loved him.

"I don't wanna lose you again, Y/N. Let's start over."

#anime #cowboy bebop #jet black #jet black cowboy bebop #black writers #female writers #black reader #poc writer #x black reader #fluff #angst #spike spiegel #black tumblr #faye valentine #yandere cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop spike #cowboy bebop smut

[atmilliways]

Dreams In Which I’m Dying (8)

part 8 of 16 | 756 words | Teen +

Donnie Darko AU | parts 1 & 2 | part 3 | parts 4 & 5 | parts 6 & 7 | part 9 | parts 10 & 11 | parts 12 & 13 | part 14 | parts 15 & 16 (complete)

Summary:

Eddie Munson has lost control of his life. He just hot-wired an RV and called Steve Harrington big boy, and he genuinely can’t decide which one is freaking him out more. 

8 - Lost control of his life

Eddie Munson has lost control of his life. He just hot-wired an RV and called Steve Harrington big boy, and he genuinely can’t decide which one is freaking him out more. 

On top of that, someone had seen Chrissy and him both going into the woods on Friday and told Jason Carver, the police’s main suspect. He's escaped custody and is on the hunt for Eddie, out for blood on suspicion of witchcraft. He heard this over the phone from Officer Callahan, a man who Eddie once watched handcuff himself to his own car by accident. It's the cherry on top of an increasingly terrible Spring Break.

Despite all that, his mind keeps drifting back to Steve. 

They stay in the RV while everyone else shops at the War Zone, Steve because of his Demobat injuries and Eddie because he's laying low. It’s as good a time as any to replace the makeshift bandages from the night before.

“Ow,” Steve complains as Eddie runs an iodine-soaked cotton ball from the First Aid kit over the worst of the bites.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles, and does it again. 

Steve grunts as it makes contact. “S’fine. Thanks for not letting that one pop my head off like a grape.”

“You dropping the nailbat where I could reach it helped.”

“It usually does. I mean it, though.”

“I know.” He ventures a glance up from what he’s doing and finds himself meeting droopy hazel eyes dead on. That feeling of Steve trying to puzzle him out comes back full force, so Eddie tries to deflect. “Don’t detract from your hero status by sharing the glory on my account, big boy.”

Oh fuck, he’d done it again. He hadn’t meant to, it had just slipped out—

But Steve is blushing. Actually blushing. Eddie feels giddy; he’d made Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington blush!

“We make a good team,” Steve says, glancing away and moving his arms in a way that draws Eddie’s attention to his bare pecs. (Though really, what movement wouldn’t? Eddie would want to bite them if he hadn’t already been chewed on enough today.) “As long as you don’t mind hanging out with a non-nerd who doesn’t know who Ozzy is.”

“You can learn,” Eddie replies, and resists the impulse to swallow his own tongue. 

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “Man, you’re weird.” 

Reddening, Eddie flicks the cotton ball to the floor and reaches for the roll of gauze. “Sorry,” he mumbles. 

“No, I meant it as a compliment.” 

“Since when?” It flies out without Eddie even thinking, and he wants to swallow his tongue again. Because King Steve is nothing like he expected, nothing like he appears from a distance. Up close he’s . . . a good dude, which flies in the face of everything Eddie’s come to expect from the rich, popular, and jock crowds.  

“Since, uh, about three years ago this November?” Steve replies sheepishly. “I mean, things like this start happening—” he gestures to the divots gnawed into his flesh “—and it changes what weird means real fucking quick. Dustin’s weird, but he’s been super important to figuring things out every time. Robin’s weird, but she’s my best friend, we practically share a brain. And she’s taught me a lot about . . . other stuff I thought was weird, but turned out not so much once I actually thought about it.”

There’s something cautious yet intent in Steve’s eyes, in the tilt of his mouth while Eddie finishes wrapping and securing the gauze. Eddie chews on one side of his bottom lip, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the guy’s eyes on him. “Aw, Stevie,” he manages to say, “are you saying you want to be best friends?”

“. . . Something like that.”

Steve reaches for the battle vest he still hasn’t given back yet—and oh, okay, Eddie thinks. Robin had said she’d get Steve a clean jacket and shirt (and socks, and shoes) inside. She’ll be back with it any minute. But no, Steve shrugs back into the vest and seems perfectly content.

And it can’t mean what Eddie wants it to mean, in this gap between bursts of go go go code red emergency where there’s actually some time to breathe. That would be too much, it would burn what’s left of his personal Munson doctrine to the ground—

The RV door slams open to admit a stampede of teenagers. Someone yells “Drive, drive!!” and Eddie feels suddenly unbalanced because Steve is already alert and scrambling for the driver’s seat. 

Moment to breathe over.

#stranger music anthology #steddie fic #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #code red is an unfortunately effective cockblock #my fanfic #donnie darko steddie au

[justice-is-a-weapon]

In vino veritas [Dazai x gn reader]

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Chapter 11 | ?

previous | next

TW: some symptoms of an anxiety attack / reader has a sensory overload at the end and some swearing

It all changed one morning while I had decided to take a stroll through Yokohama Chinatown. It was quite cold that day so I was wearing a thick woolen coat and gloves. It was pretty windy too. I had a day off with no gigs to play so I thought I might just look at the town.

Who I didn’t expect to see however was a familiar face. I could recognize that choppy, white haircut even from afar. It was Atsushi, the boy that Dazai had taken under his wing. With him was a girl, I think about 14 years old. She was wearing a kimono with a sprout-like pattern and seemed rather reserved from what I could tell. She didn’t gesture as much as Atsushi did. Her hands mostly kept to her sides.

Atsushi seemed to notice me as well since he started waving enthusiastically. I decided to come over to him and say hello. At least I would have something to do then.

“Ophelia, was it?”

He seemed a bit unsure but happy to see me.

“Yes. Atsushi, right? You’re Dazai’s colleague."

He nodded.

“Oh that’s Kyouka by the way”, he pointed at the girl, “She’s also a colleague of mine. I believe you haven’t met yet.”

She gave a short “hello”. I took another look at her.

“Isn’t she a bit young to work in a detective agency?”

Atsushi laughed nervously and tried to explain himself, which he totally failed at might I add, and kept glancing at Kyouka to help him out. I ended up not asking any further. Instead I corrected myself, telling him not to worry and that it had only been a joke. I asked another question to make small talk.

“So what have you two been up to?”

“Oh just some groceries mostly but we need to go like 10 other places too? I don’t know why they always make me do all the side jobs as well.”

Kyouka looked at him with a deadpan face.

“You suck at paperwork, Atsushi.”

Yep, I was beginning to like this girl already. I had to chuckle quite a bit. Atsushi got red at that, feeling like he had been exposed.

“Kyouka, you know I can’t spell for shit. Yeah but anyways back to the topic: We actually wanted to go get crêpes,” he glanced at the crêpe booth longingly (I think I actually heard his stomach growling at that), then he made a face,“I think there won’t be any time for that though.”

I don’t know what came over me when I started talking. Maybe I had felt a bit of pity for the boy. He was young. He should enjoy himself. Also this would give me an excuse to keep myself busy.

“Is there something I could help with? I don’t have anything to do anyways.”

Atsushi looked surprised.

“You really don’t need to!”

“Don’t worry man. I seriously have nothing better to do.”

Then he glanced at Kyouka as if to check if it was alright to give me an answer.

“I mean there’s one thing.”

Kyouka continued talking for him.

“You know Dazai, right? At least that’s what I’ve gathered. We need to drop off some stuff at his place. You could bring him that. He’ll may like to see a face not related to work. He doesn’t like work.”

Atsushi nodded at that.

“Yeah, he kind of forgets to buy groceries sometimes. Or to leave his house for that matter…”

I swallowed hard. This was the chance I’ve been waiting for. But somehow this felt illegal. “All personal things you will get to know about me will be told to you by my humble self”, his voice said in the back of my head. Yep he definitely wouldn’t want me ringing his doorbell, showing up out of nowhere.

However, I thought: But who was I to follow rules made up by someone? So I will liberate myself from my self-inflicted immaturity! Sapere aude! I’ll do what seems reasonable to my humble self, not him. So for now I would ignore that rule. I decided to ignore it just like he had ignored me. Serves you right. Was I being petty? Maybe.

So I said:

“Oh I can totally go drop that off. I just don’t remember his address. We usually meet at my place.”

Atsushi then gave me the address. Adrenaline was now rushing through my whole body. I didn’t know if I was happy or scared of what’s about to come. Atsushi then asked me for another favor.

“You’re friends right? You reckon you could check if he’s doing well in there? He hasn’t left the house in a couple of days as far as I know. We don’t see him much these days.”

I made a face. Fucking hell. So I was right to worry. I knew I was scared of seeing him. But now I also knew I needed to see him. Under the pretense of a welfare check issued by Atsushi of course.

“Yeah I’ll do that. I’ve been worried too, y'know?”

The boy smiled at me after that and handed me the plastic bags.

“Thank you so much! I’ll make sure to return the favor when I’m given the chance.”

With that they took their leave. I was still shaken up. Had I really just agreed to this?

When shaken up I get overwhelmed pretty quickly. The full streets here in Chinatown didn’t help either. All the sounds and smells confused me beyond belief while I was painstakingly aware of my own heartbeat. I needed to get out of here. At least for a minute or two. I ended up disappearing into an alleyway to calm down and sat on the pavement.

“Holy shit.” I ran my fingers through my hair. Nope. I wasn’t going to do it after all. This was too much. Dazai and the world could go fuck themselves. I hated it. I hated those sounds and those smells and those-

I then heard a sound. Like something had been thrown over. I stared down the alleyway seeing something move. Adjusting I could slowly figure out what it had been. Nothing more than a mere stray puppy. It looked at me and turned its head to the side. Yeah I’d be confused too seeing a random person panting and shaking on a sidewalk. I began to talk.

“Oh hey there. You good?”

It slowly began walking towards me. Then sniffing. Then wagging its tail. “Friend”, the puppy must’ve decided. I reckoned it also wanted a break from the busy street.

“Also overwhelmed by all the smells? I feel you buddy.”

After a few tries it ended up letting me pet it. I dragged my hand over its smooth brown fur. It felt nice, calmed me in a way. This felt like a sign that I should go through with it and get my ass up to see Dazai, get myself together. I wouldn’t tell him I had just pet a stray dog though. He’d probably stand five meters away from me after hearing that. I think if it had been a cat however he would’ve been fine with it. My mind was clearer now. I ended up giving the puppy the plain rice I had left over from the lunch I had taken with me. I had already eaten most of it out of boredom and I felt like I should pay this little fellow for helping me in a way.

Because stray dogs help each other.

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[Can you tell the reader is getting increasingly more stressed out? Yeah… They’re just like me fr. BECAUSE I’M FREAKING OUT AS WELL. I have some of the most important exams of my life coming up in a few weeks and never really learned how to study, which is just GREAT (please tell me you could hear the sarcasm). Anyways I still will try to upload. I may be a bit inconsistent but I still want to provide you guys with further chapters. But be prepared for what’s coming because (as you may have guessed by the tags) Dazai is an asshole and a mess.]

#bsd #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #fanfic #bungo stray dogs x you #bungou stray dogs #my writing #x reader #fanfiction #dazai x you #gn reader #bungou stray dogs x you #bsd dazai #dazai bsd

[gideliye]

To the person I knew from the Goddamn internet 4 years ago

11:06 p.m., Thursday, March 16, 2023, I'm rewriting, recreating, or rebuilding whatever this is. I can't sleep even though I must. I decided to run through your newsfeed once again and I saw that one post that made me write something similar. It was seven days late when I wrote those tantrums after reading your last letter for that person. I also thought that that would be the last time that I'd write something about you. It has been two years since I wrote that. The headache-causing papers still surround my bed. My body is still tired despite lying down the whole day. I am still full of insecurities. Really, nothing changed except for the fact that I am alone in here. I have been hurting, but it's more tolerable; maybe I got used to it.

I have always been an admirer of your writings, and though oftentimes I could not comprehend what they meant, there's still something that makes me want to keep going. 

I still admire

I still can't comprehend

I still want to keep going

I want you near, but I fear.

I am everything opposite of the person you talk about. That little conversation is still stuck in my head even after all these years, but it can't be compared to someone you spend months with. A little improvement: I don't start my day looking at your Messenger stories and Facebook posts anymore, but I still envy that person who you spend your late-night talks with. I still want to be someone who you would share your anime recommendations with or have at least one mobile legend character 1v1 with, but I'm neither an otaku nor a pro-Selena user. I still make up silly stories that I came up with, and up until now, I really wanted to share them with you. But I still don't have the courage to even leave a message on how much I like your works, your ways, and just everything about you.

You still feel like home to me, although I think that it is temporary. I know you were just a shelter. Somewhere that shades me when I refuse to go home. Somewhere, I feel like I belong, but I don't. 

I wanted to wipe the tears from your cheeks as you wrote that letter. I want to stop imagining the past, present, and future with you in it, but it was my only way to be somewhere close to you without having the fear of actually losing you.

Maybe I can't like anyone else more than you. Maybe I did like someone else more than you, but you resemble them so much that I had to keep my place. Maybe I didn't like them enough to make me take a risk. Maybe I don't like myself enough to make myself believe that I deserve these.

I am contented just having to read your works. I am contented with the little things that I know about you from the internet that you overshared and the secrets that I am not supposed to know. Who am I to bid you farewell? I still long for the warmth of your metaphors. I always thought that if one day we meet, please know that you will never be a stranger to me. You don't have to mind me though; I just know you a little well, but not well enough. You don't know me at all to make you look into my eyes and halt for seconds. It's only my heartbeat, which will stop for a second because your very existence matters to me a lot.

I wanted to preserve the format, but too many things changed, even though nothing or a little something did. I think it's fine. Whatever I write anyway will still have remnants of you.

[thezoeydiaries]

ENTRY #4

GALENTINES 2024 *Late Upload

Okay, so you guys turned into adults. You guys went from being 18 to all of a sudden turning 25 this year. From due papers to due bills, from all-day-every-day meetings to annual get-togethers, from experiencing life together to making life updates... no one knew being an adult would come this fast and would hit us like a ton of bricks.

My friends and I are very close. Even if we all don't get to talk on the daily, nothing really changes. We all might be going through different things in the span of a few weeks to a few months, but once we all *finally* sync our schedules and catch up with everything, it's like no time has passed at all.

I guess I'll be mentioning my friends a lot in these entries, so don't worry you guys will have plenty of time to get to know them. I'll make a separate entry for them and make detailed accounts of how they are, how I perceive them, what roles they play in my life, and overall how great they are as friends and as individual people.

So last February 25, my friends and I had a *very* late Galentines Day celebration. I believe you guys already know that GALENTINES is a spin on the words: Gal and Valentine's, which is really just a cute excuse to go on a date with your girl-friends.

Since my friends and I are really busy people (we've all been workaholics since College, maybe even longer than that), it's extra hard to schedule a meeting where everyone can take time off of work or have a free slot in their personal sched to do other things. So for the past few years, we usually end up having an annual meet-up where everyone is free. Unfortunately for this year though, Regina (or Baddie/Reggie as I call her) wasn't able to attend because she had a schedule with the DFA to get her passport ready for an important work trip abroad. And so, it was just me, Kayla (or Lulu as we call her), Alliah (or Patty/Alli), and Gayle (or Gayley).

Now that we have their nicknames in order, you guys won't confuse them for other people HAHAHAHA. Okay so back to the story —last Feb 25, we *finally* met up in Makati and I was extremely late for our date. So just a little backstory, at the last minute I had to go back to our province in Laguna for the weekend to spend time with the family and so, I had to find a way to get back in the Metro by Sunday at around lunchtime. We all planned to meet up around 1 pm, and I initially planned to leave Laguna by 8 (it would take me 2 and a half hours to reach my dormitory, and another 2 hours to get ready for the date), but unfortunately, my family had different plans and decided to take me to Manila themselves.

We left by 11 am and there was crazy traffic that day. I was incredibly frustrated (when we left I hadn't even taken a shower or eaten yet) because I knew that I'd be super late and I'd be making my friends wait for me. So when I got to my dormitory, I had to rush so much. And the thing was, the universe wasn't on my side that day.

*Insert Zoey in stress mode*

The first issue was that I had to clean my room first before I could begin preparing because I could not function in a messy environment. I don't know what it is but I just cannot ~for the life of me~ get myself together when things are untidy and unorganized. And since I left at the last minute before the weekend, my room was in complete chaos. I had to fix that first by sweeping the floors and disinfecting them with alcohol, then by organizing the clutter and putting things back where they were supposed to be (It took me almost 45 minutes to clean everything).

And then I had to find an outfit that matched the theme of the Galentines Date which was Black and Red. Again, this took me so long but at last, I went with a simple Black crop top that had "New York" plastered in front of it, some Black skort, a Red Timberland Hooded Puffer Jacket, and a pair of Red Guess sneakers.

When I finally decided what to wear and finished ironing it, I ran to the bathroom to get a quick shower and proceeded to do my skincare and my makeup, then afterward I fixed my hair. By the time that I was finished, it was already 3 pm. So I booked a Grab to go to Makati, and when I was maybe 20 minutes away (from the dorm), I realized I had forgotten my gift! GRABE! I was already pressed with time and I forgot something important pa! You'd expect me to be really upset at this point (and you were right). So I had to go all the way back to the dorm and then leave for Makati again.

While I was in transit, I messaged them and they were already done eating brunch and started roaming around. Of course, I felt awful that I had missed most of the Galentines Date, but I was more upset at the fact that I had to make them wait for so long. When I reached Makati, they told me to meet up in Greenbelt and I finally caught up to them at the Power Mac Center.

When I saw them, we all squealed and hugged each other. Kasi to be perfectly honest, super duper busy talaga kami and we rarely have the time to see each other in person, so every time we did, it was just this beautiful happy moment. Gayley gave us these crocheted flowers and mine was this super pretty Sunflower <3 (I loved it, thanks Gayle!)

After this, we were trying to decide where to go next because they already had brunch but I was still really hungry (kasi nga paano ba ako makakakain sa mga nangyari HAHAHA), so after walking around for a long time, we just ended up at Chili's lol. When we got to our table, we wasted no time and just made so much chika. When I say so much chika, I mean like SOOOOO MUCH chika (months' worth of stories, plans, and tea ;) hahaha).

We talked about a lot of things. Lulu gave us so many life updates and it was news to me that the baby girl of the group was already talking to someone. I know magkaka-age naman kami pero kasi she's literally the purest, most innocent, wholesome being you'd ever meet, and as you may have guessed, yes, NBSB sya. (Sorry for putting your business out there love you haha). We were really happy for her as she's trying to figure out how she wants to go about this whole dating thing.

Patty naman also shared stories about her work life, how she's still enjoying the party scene, and exploring her options. We're on the same page when it comes to dating. We would like to enjoy the "Single Life" and experience things on our own. I mean it is nice to have someone accompany you and make memories with you but there's a certain beauty to enjoying life on your own and figuring things out as you go. We still have a lot of "discovering" to do before we get into the dating game. And it was refreshing to hear Patty say she's just having fun and seeing where things take her. Because much like her, I'd like to take this period of my life to get to know myself more and just see what life has to offer.

Now, with Gayley naman, it's a little different. She's been in a long stable relationship with Neil for years. (He's our friend too and he's also like family). We're very fond of Neil and we all think that they're good for each other. We've known Neil since freshmen year in College, and he's a real standup guy. We see how respectful and how much of a gentleman he is, especially towards Gayle. (We love Neil in this house lol) He was also one of those people who had my back when I was in a really rough situation. Anyway, going back, she told us about her plans for the coming months including trips to Japan and Taiwan. We tried to set another get-together but the next schedule available for us is after May pa (Sabi sainyo eh mahirap magschedule sa amin haha).

We all talked some more (of course I can't tell you guys everything in detail) and I also shared personal stuff like things that happened after Nathan passed, things that happened at work, my plans for the coming months, etc. I didn't really have much to share with them because I just went through a lot over the past few months, and I didn't want to be a Debbie Downer. So after we finished eating we all went to take Lulu to the station because she was rushing to catch the Sunday Mass in Muntinlupa.

*And dahil late ako, siyempre wala ako jan haha*

After Lulu took off, we all went to a coffee shop to talk some more and we all wanted to try new hobbies like pottery and golf among other things. For those of you who don't know, I like taking classes and workshops on different things. If it were up to me, I'd hyperfixate on one hobby for a whole month and attempt to learn everything I could about that thing, and then try another hobby for the next month, and the cycle repeats. Thankfully, my friends are like that too and are more than willing to accompany me but like I said previously it's just not that easy to get us all together in one place because our schedules are always very hectic.

It was almost 7 pm when we decided to head home because we all had work the day after and siyempre dahil tumatanda na rin tayo, gusto palagi na pauwi na HAHAHAHA. So we said our goodbyes, and then Gayle and I shared a Grab kasi we're headed in the same direction pauwi. And when I dropped Gayle off, I started having all these realizations while I was on my way home.

It hit me hard when I realized that we've been out of school since 2021. Regina and I finished school ahead of Gayle, Kayla, and Alliah because they were from different courses (Although both courses were under Communication Arts) but we all shared the same graduation ceremony way back in 2022. While I was reminiscing and getting emotional over the fact that time was passing by us quickly, I was reminded by Kuya Driver that we had arrived at my destination. So I hurriedly paid Kuya and got out of the car, and as I was walking to my room I had this bittersweet feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Tumatanda na nga kami" I said to myself as mom opened the door. She asked me how the Galentines thing went, and I told her I had fun and that I missed the girls. After telling her stories, I prepared to go to bed. After cleaning up and doing my skincare, I plopped on my bed and went on my phone to see if everyone got home safely. And that was when I opened my gallery to look at this album entitled "College Memories", and I reminisced some more until I fell asleep.

I am filled with so much gratitude toward these girls because they have been with me through the highs and lows, and even when we don't regularly see each other and talk, it's like nothing changed. They are the same people that I loved since College, it's just that we're all on different paths now but still very much a part of each others' lives. While times might have changed our routines, and we may not share the same reality anymore, it's still exciting to see what's in store for us and our futures. (Waiting na po ako kung sinong unang ikakasal haha #ReadyToBeABridesmaid).

I guess that's it for the girls' Galentines Date this year. I'll be making a separate entry about the girls in detail and the whole adulting thing.

Now, if you reached this point, CONGRATULATIONS! That was a really long read lol I appreciate you for seeing it all the way through <3 here's a star for your effort!

*CTTO of the images in this blog post.

Good night everyone, till our next entry~

Love,

Zoey from the 8th floor

[alltheboysandmen]

The big love

Dear best friends,

I think it’s time I tell you all about the story of my biggest love, and subsequently my biggest heartbreak. The person who changed my life completely and made me reconsider everything I stood for when it was over. He was my second boyfriend in life, but the first time I had ever truly felt so appreciated and seen. When I tell you he changed the trajectory of everything in my life, I don’t think that’s exaggerating.

We were introduced through mutual friends, and even though we didn’t even live in the same country we hit it off. It didn’t take me long before I understood that I had to meet him. I was in love with him even though I hadn’t even met him and I think he felt the same way. In some ways I suppose you could describe it as a whirlwind romance that slowly became domesticated. It took me only 6 months to feel like I couldn’t live without him, and decided to pack up all my stuff and make the big move.

In many ways it was both the best and worst decisions of my life because I feel like so many things fell into place with him. I finally felt like I had found someone who I belonged with and who appreciated me for me. I couldn’t stand to stay in Oslo for a minute longer than I had too, and nobody could tell me otherwise. But on the flip side I gave up so much of my life, friends and plans to be with him. In hindsight I blindly sacrificed way too much to be with him, especially considering he didn’t give up anything in his life to be with me. This was something I don’t think I realized before we were quite some time into the breakup.

The problem for us was that we would always be torn by the fact that our respective families lived in different countries, and that they also would be unable to move should we end up making a life together in either country. My mother has my sister who was only 12 at the time, and his parents have both their children and grandchildren that they would never want to leave. So in some sense we were doomed from the start. And I think he also knew this, and when the time came to choose we both chose our own home countries and our own families. But the one who was left with the stinging burn was me, because I felt like he had never even tried to sacrifice anything to be with me. I was the one who moved, changed studies, changed career paths, stayed away from my family and friends, and I was the one who waited for him. And when time came for him to reciprocate, he chose not to. He chose to stay close to home, where he was comfortable, even though that meant losing me.

I was comfortably naive and stupidly in denial about our breakup for a long time. The beginning stage hurt, of course. But I think that deep down somewhere I had thought it was inevitable, because he surely wasn’t the first “man in my life” to leave (Read: daddy issues! we’ll get to that in another post some day). But when the acceptance stage of the breakup should have started to make its way onto the scene, I was still pissed. I had spent ages trying to process what I had done wrong, when in truth, I had done nothing but be painfully ignorant. And in hindsight I can see all the signs that we would never have lasted. But when you love someone as much as I loved him you’ll do anything to try and make it work.

It’s been almost 12 years since we met, 11 years since I moved to a foreign country to be with you, 6 years since we stopped dating and stopped talking all together. He was the one who taught me that sometimes love just isn’t enough, because if it was we would have been together forever. Despite the awful breakup and the years of tears after, I wouldn’t be without our experiences together.

#blog #blogging #dating #love #relationships

[mandos-mind-trick]

Instinct, Part 11

Summary: Omegas were rare. Some even thought them extinct. So when Boba contacts Din saying he has a gift Din can’t refuse, the last thing he expects to find is an omega in need of an alpha. Din has to make the hard decision, but what else was he really doing anyways? But naturally, there’s more to this omega than meets the eye.

Pairing: Din Djarin x OC

Warnings: Injuries, blood, PTSD, some light medical stuff, The Empire, A/B/O

A/N: Uhhh yeah, it's been a minute with this one. I probably shouldn't say I had most of this one written up already, but I couldn't decide where I wanted to take the story. Well, I've decided now so I can confidently finish this one up.

< Previous | Next > | MASTERLIST | Reader Version  

It doesn’t hurt. 

Kai had felt a lot of pain in her lifetime, but the stab wound is almost nothing. Or maybe she’s just gone numb. She had practically seen the shift in Din as he’d stood there, staring at the red on her fingers, the red staining her shirt. 

She’s not sure when exactly he’d stabbed her. She hadn’t felt it in the haze of adrenaline. She’s not sure where the knife is either. 

Din had approached her, taking one look at the wound before lifting her into his arms. She could sense the change in him, the detachment. He had one instinct in that moment and that was to get her help. She feels dizzy, vision in and out as she stares up at the sky. It’s blue, very blue. 

The blue fades to white as he enters the medical center. Her arms and legs have begun to tingle. Was she going to pass out? She’s bleeding a lot. She can feel it. She squints up at the ceiling as Din lays her on the hard exam table. He’s scared, she can scent it under the tang of blood. 

She blinks as her vision fades in and out, someone coming to stand over her. She doesn’t recognize them...no. She does.

“No...no...please!” She struggles, but her limbs are restrained. 

“It’s alright.” He speaks quietly, leaning down closer to her. “Everything will be alright.” A bright light in her eyes. She feels far away, like her body is floating right out into space. 

“No!” She cries, weakly fighting the urge to sleep. “No!” 

“Everything’s going to be just fine.” 

****

His hands are shaking. 

He had felt the shift in his brain, his mind shutting down as soon as he saw the red on her fingers. He had acted purely on instinct, moving to catch her before she fell. He had held her up, analyzing the wound oozing thick red liquid for half a second before scooping her into his arms. He’d walked out the front door, uncaring of the police droids making their way down the street. 

He’d been totally numb as he carried her to the nearest medical facility. He could have taken her back to the Crest, but it was too far, and he wasn’t sure a simple bacta patch would work fast enough. The wound was deep and clean, the straight edge of the vibroblade meant to make the wound bleed and bleed. 

She had been awake the whole time, though her gaze had been hazy. He’d been rushed back into a room, the Nautolan doctor jumping right in to try and help. 

That was when everything had gone wrong. 

Kai had started fighting, struggling against the doctor and nurses. She had been screaming, eyes far away like she was seeing something else. He had managed to get her calm enough for them to administer a sedative. He had held her until she was unconscious and limp, the bloody smear on the front of his chestplate as she’d reached out for him. 

“Buir.” 

His hands are still shaking, the event playing over and over in his head. He’d never seen her like that before. He had been scared of her possibly losing control and her omega coming out, but it seemed she was somewhere else entirely. She had never spoken about anything like that, nor had Boba mentioned any aversion to medical centers or doctors. 

Maybe it had been deeply buried far below, repressed by years of suppressants. 

He’s worried. Whatever she had been seeing, it had been bad enough for her to call out for her parents. She never talked about them, never mentioned them beyond the night she’d told him how she got off Mandalore. They likely hadn’t made it, like so many others. That was a harsh reality to face, one he knew well. 

He stares at her peaceful face. She’s still unconscious, the bacta working quickly to heal the stab wound. He feels guilty. She was here because of him. He had failed to consider that they might have known about him, about his quest. She had gotten hurt because of him, because of his mistake. 

He wants to call it quits, wants to load her onto the ship and fly back to Tatooine, but he knows he can’t. If she wanted to continue, he would, even if it was a bad decision. 

They have a lot to discuss when she wakes. He stares down at the smear on his chestplate. Just what exactly was that outburst? What had happened to her that had caused that kind of reaction? 

******

“Hello. My name is Doctor Ellezac. I am the chief scientist on this vessel. I will be overseeing you.” She flinches away from the hands that reach for her face. “How are you feeling?” 

“Where am I? Where is my buir?” She asks, voice thin sounding from the dryness in her throat. 

“You are on a transport vessel heading for a research base.” He pries her mouth open, looking inside. “Don’t worry. You will be well cared for.” 

She jerks her head away, glaring at him. “Where are the others?” She remembered the transport taking them to Concordia. The four omegas, the last four to make it off Mandalore alive. 

“Don’t worry. They’re being looked after.” He turns, grabbing something off a table. “It’s very fascinating to me, your kind. The ‘second gender’ Mandalorians utilize. All beings carry the ability, but the mechanics of it have been lost to most of us for centuries. Except for the Mandalorians.” He turns back to her, a syringe in hand. “The ‘instincts’ as you call them, are incredible. Heightened senses, increased strength, enhanced regeneration, among many other benefits.” 

She struggles against the restraints holding her to the bed as he sinks the syringe into her arm. He draws her blood, pulling from her until she begins to feel dizzy. 

“You’re going to be a great help to us.” He says, looking down at her. “You’ll be a great help to the Empire.” 

*****

Kai jolts as she wakes, hands gripping the blankets tightly. She’s wrapped tightly in blankets and a cloak, buried deep in Din’s scent. The whirring of the engines and the subtle shake of the ship tells her she’s in the Crest. 

It takes her a moment, but she remembers everything. They had been hunting their next targets, when everything had gone wrong. She’d been stabbed and Din had taken her to a medical facility. 

She had seen him. 

In truth, she had forgotten it entirely in the haze of memories before awakening from suppressants. It seemed like a long time ago, because it had been a long time ago. She couldn’t have guessed she’d react in such a way. She hadn’t reacted like that on Tatooine when the medical droid had looked over her. She hadn’t reacted that way any of the times Boba’s medical droid had treated her. 

Maybe simply because she didn’t remember. 

She remembers now. She remembers everything. 

She manages to free herself from the cocoon of blankets, keeping Din’s cloak around her. It smells like him. It smells safe. She stands, stretching her side a bit. Her fingers slip under her shirt, feeling the smooth skin underneath. Not even a mark. 

She climbs up the ladder, knowing Din is in the cockpit. He’ll have questions, and she’ll answer them. It’s dark in the cockpit, the Crest drifting through space. Din is seated in the pilot’s chair, back to her as she enters. She sits in one of the passenger seats, bundling herself in his cloak. 

“We need to talk about it.” He says, keeping his gaze forward. 

“I know.” She says. “First I need you to know, I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember any of it until now.” 

“You were screaming. Calling out for your parents.” He says, voice pinched. “As soon as you saw the doctor it was like you’d lost your mind.” 

“I wasn’t there. I was somewhere else. Somewhere worse. I didn’t know it wasn’t happening again.” She swallows the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry if I caused a scene. I’m sorry if I made things difficult, but please don’t be mad, I really didn’t remember exactly-” 

“I’m not mad.” He says, finally turning around. “I just want to know what you saw that caused a reaction like that.” 

She nods, taking a shaky breath, trying to calm the nerves that had built up. “To start, we have to go back to the Purge. There were four of us on the last ship that left the omega temple before it was hit. Four omegas and the droid pilot with coordinates to Concordia. Only we didn’t get that far. As soon as we left the atmosphere, something was waiting. Something pulled us in.” 

Din nods. He knew most of this already from what she’d told him. The small bit she’d remembered after the suppressants. 

“It wasn’t pirates or smugglers. It was the Empire. I don’t know if it was sheer luck, or somehow they knew where we were heading...they pulled us in. I remember them breaking through the hatch. Stormtroopers flooding the hull. I don’t remember much after that. I woke up sometime later in what looked like a medical facility. There was a man there. His name was Doctor Ellezac. He was the head scientist for some division of the Empire. He knew a lot about us, about omegas and alphas. Too much to be coincidence.” 

Din shifts in his seat, hands closing into fists. The thought that it was the Empire that took the last of the omegas...it makes him angry. 

“They took us to some facility. They ran tests on us. They wanted to know how our instincts worked, how our abilities manifested, how they were controlled.” She wipes a tear from her cheek. “I don’t know how long we were there, but I remember when the Empire fell. They tried to get off world, tried to evacuate us somewhere else, but that’s when the pirates arrived. They thought it had been abandoned, but we were still there. The Empire took ten omegas. There were only three of us by the time the pirates came.” 

“They knew what you were.” Din says, trying to calm his raging alpha. 

She nods. “They knew what we were worth too. That’s when it started. The suppressants, being traded across the galaxy.” She shakes her head. “If I had known...I wouldn’t have-” 

“I’m glad you did.” Din says. “Even if we’ve only killed seven of them, even if we can’t finish, I’m glad we at least gave some of them what they deserve.” 

She wipes another tear from her cheek. “I don’t know if we should continue. I-I mean...we could wind up in something bigger than just the two of us. If there’s remnants out there, if they find out...I don’t know if they’ll come for me again. I don’t want to put you in danger like that.” 

He leans forward, pulling her up from the passenger seat. “I made a promise when I mated you that I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. That I would protect you and our pack. If that means fighting off the Empire again, then I would do it.” 

Kai climbs into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I don’t want you to have to fight the Empire. I-If something happened to you...” 

“Nothing is going to happen to me.” He says. “I think we should take a break.” 

Kai looks up at his helmet, looking at the visor. “What?” 

“We’ll take a break. Find somewhere to lay low for a while. I know you’re stressed, and this new development is concerning.” He spins them back around, keeping her in his lap as he begins hitting buttons on the console. “I already found us a place.”  

“You’ve put a lot of thought into this.” She murmurs. 

“You were asleep for a while.” He puts a hand on her back as the Crest hums to life, preparing to jump into hyperspace. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while too. You’re not as accustomed to this as I am, and it’s not your nature to run around the galaxy non-stop. We have enough credits for now. We can worry about what’s next later.” 

Kai presses her nose into her neck, breathing him in for a moment. She can’t sense what he’s feeling, the beskar and his flightsuit blocking her from reaching his neck. She doesn’t move to remove his helmet, not feeling like she’s in a good enough place to do something so bold. 

“Din...” She murmurs after a few moments, the blue of hyperspace flashing around them. “I’m sorry.” 

He tightens his hold on her, the hand that had been on her back sliding up to the back of her neck. “Don’t.” 

Tears spring into her eyes, her body pressing closer to his out of pure instinct. He lets go of her for a moment to pull his helmet off, letting it clunk to the floor. She immediately presses her face against his throat, breathing him in. He’s not angry, not at her. His scent is thick with worry and the sharp edge of protectiveness alphas projected when their clans were in danger. 

“I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I never wanted you to get hurt.” He says, pressing his face into the top of her head. 

“You couldn’t have known.” She murmurs against his neck. “It was always a risk.” 

He tightens his hold on her for a moment. “I should have done more. I should have tried harder.” 

“I was the one that asked to do this.” She says, pulling back to look in his eyes. There’s tears in them. “Maybe...maybe we need this break. Like you said...we can worry about what happens next later.” 

He pulls her back in, holding her until the ship drops from hyperspace. 

**** A Few Weeks Later ****

The warm breeze feels good against her skin. The sand is warm against her bare feet, her toes digging in, enjoying the feel. It’s not like the sand on Tatooine. This place couldn’t be more different than Tatooine. 

Blue water stretches as far as she can see in front of her. It’s bluer than she’s ever seen. Behind her stretches a line of trees, only broken by the small shack they had been staying in. There’s no one on the small island but them, most of the inhabitants on the larger island a short boat ride to the South. 

She’s very much in love with this planet. She could stay here forever, basking in the warm sunlight on the beach. When Din had first landed here, it had been in the midst of a storm and she had been skeptical. By the time they woke up the next day, the storm had cleared and left a bright blue sky behind. Storms were rare here, according to the locals. There hadn’t been one since the day they arrived. It had been nothing but beautiful weather, and Kai had been soaking up every minute of it she could. 

Arms wrap around her middle, pulling her back against the warm chest. She leans her head back against his shoulder, relaxing against him. “I could stay here forever.” 

“I know.” He says, kissing the top of her head. His bare hands trail up her arms, brushing along the sun-warmed skin. “Eventually we’ll need credits.” 

Kai pouts. “I’m sure you could find a job doing something for the locals.” 

“I doubt they have much use for bounty hunters out here.” He says, turning her back towards the shack. 

“I wasn’t talking about bounty hunting.” She says. “You could be a fisherman.” 

He opens the door to the shack, giving her a look. 

Kai shrugs. “What? You could! You’re good with repairs, I’m sure they could use a repairman or something.” 

“Don’t get any ideas.” He says, lifting her up and dropping her on the bed. 

“I know.” She sighs, pulling him down with her. “Boba might never forgive us if we moved to a planet like this without him.” 

He leans down, kissing her softly. She kisses him back, wrapping her arms around him. “We need to get more supplies soon.” He murmurs against her lips, running his hand along her back. 

“Tomorrow.” She sighs, pressing closer to him. 

He shifts his body on top of hers, her thighs parting to welcome him. She tugs at his shirt, pulling it over his head. It was a miracle she got him out of his armor, but after their confirmed solitude on the island, he loosened up. 

“I love you.” She murmurs against his lips, drawing his body closer. 

“Kar'taylir darasuum.” He breathes, losing himself in her. 

***

“Do you ever miss it?” She asks as they sit on the porch of the shack. The sun is setting, painting the sky in oranges and pinks. 

“What?” He asks, pulling her closer against his side. 

“Being with the covert?” 

He stiffens a bit at her question. They hadn’t talked much about it, beyond him telling her about his exile. She knows it’s a sensitive topic to him, but that’s what they had been doing during this break. Digging up all the ugly things, talking about them and working through them. 

“Sometimes.” He says honestly. “It was what I was raised in. Being in exile, hiding away...it’s not the way Mandalorians are supposed to live.” 

“Would you ever want to go back?” She asks. 

He’s quiet for a few moments, his fingers tracing patterns along her bare arm. The touch sends shivers through her body. “It would be impossible.” He says. “Mandalore is cursed. Going there to try and bathe in the Waters...it would be impossible.” 

She squeezes his side, offering him comfort. “I’d go with you, if you ever wanted to try.” 

He sighs, leaning his head on hers. “It would be too much of a risk.” 

Silence settles between them as they watch the sun set, turning the sky purple then grey as night begins to settle in. 

“What would you do, if nothing was standing in our way?” He asks her, breaking the silence. 

She chews her lip for a moment, thinking it through before sighing. “I’d get through my next heat. Then maybe decide what I want.” She shifts just slightly in his arms. “It’s coming, in the next couple days.” 

“I know.” He says. “I can smell it.” 

“Do you want to leave?” She asks. 

“No.” He shakes his head. “We’ll ride it out here. Then like you said, we’ll decide what to do.” 

She rests her head back on his shoulder, breathing in his scent. It smells good, mixed with the salty air of the sea. She wishes they could just stay here, but she knows that’s not an option. 

#star wars #star wars fic #the mandalorian #the mandalorian fic #the mandalorian x oc #din djarin x oc #mando x oc #alpha din djarin #omega reader

[tishalfdeadwaffles]

Dear Childhood best friend, childhood soul sister, and my name and month twin,

it’s been years since we last saw each other, so many since we had our last video call, voice call or a long midnight conversation. Every single day I convince myself that each of us has gone different paths now in ways that were out of our hands, and our last, awkward chat was when the exam results came out months ago.

I miss you, very very terribly, to a point where I am in tears whilst writing this message that will never reach you. I was excited that you might send me a happy birthday text when it was my turn, but I found none, which really shattered my heart in ways I couldn’t expect, because it was the only constant between us all the time we were apart. The birthday messages used to be huge and moved me to tears, but the last few years they never exceeded two lines. And that’s ok.

my thoughts drift back to more than a decade ago, when both of us were neighbors, and the excitement we felt when we learned that we go to the same school, our parents work in the same hospital, we share the same name and same birthday month of the same year is unforgettable. It felt like I found the twin I never had. You never had a sister and I never had one, so we called ourselves soul sisters. And it was the only good thing In uncountable bad days.

we’d exchange handwritten letters and leave them by the doors of our houses, and I think I have all of the ones you returned. We made crocheted bracelets and denim bags together, played Roblox and monopoly and uno and snake and ladder and many other things. We went together to taraweeh prayer in Ramadan and after it we stayed together until after midnight either at my house or yours. I had dinner at your house many times, and considered cereal as dinner to be a treat. You listened to me when I had no one to turn to, you were my only constant friend I kept contact with when I moved from the school we were in. The year I returned, it felt really strange. You weren’t there anymore. We couldn’t meet up in break times and hang out together. Even though I still know other people there, you not being at the school was certainly something I couldn’t get over.

it wasn’t our choice at all that you had to move to a different country. It would mean that you’d go to a new school and make new friends and become a whole other person, and I knew that. And yet it still hurts to think about it. I have my own friend group and you probably have yours now, but that doesn’t change how much I miss us.

we fought so many times as kids and decided to not talk to each other again “forever”, but five minutes later we’re back as if nothing happened. We were so so different- you the smart, straight A student with perfect discipline and behavior and I, the hyperactive trouble kid of our grade who never follows the rules. An odd friendship, but one I treasure, despite the amount of times my mother compared me to you.

I don’t know how you feel about this all, whether I’m the only one with those feelings or not. And the distance between us has grown too much to indulge in such conversations anymore. I keep gazing at the gift bags you made me and the letters and birthday cards, all of them tucked safely in the box where I let our memories rest.

I hope you are well and alright, that you found trustworthy friends that you hangout with and feel comfortable around. I pray that you aren’t as lonely inside as I feel everyday even when surrounded by others. I hope you don’t ever experience depression and lasting anxiety. I hope you are now used to the new country you’re in and that you feel more at home.

and lastly, happy birthday, my dear June, the one and only I ever gave that nickname to.

your first friend, and childhood bestie,

me

[20/11/2022]

#Personal #I was genuinely crying #it’s been so long

[manekicatwriter]

hellooo! i was wondering if i could make a request for an modern au sbi x gn sibling reader where they’re around 17-19, and they’ve got depression. they’ve had to go away for a few weeks after a bad episode ended in an attempt and they were hospitalized and sent somewhere for rehabilitation and now they’re coming home and they’re all anxious and quiet and stuff- so the boys do their best to like comfort them and reassure them that they’re loved and they belong there? i’m sorry if that’s an awkward request, i was just recently discharged after a similar situation and honestly the comfort would be great. it’s totally your call if you chose to write it tho, i understand that this is a difficult and triggering subject and not everyone is comfortable with writing things like it. if you aren’t comfy please feel free to just ignore my ask! <3

you’re here, and that’s what matters.

TW: mentions of attempted suicide. please proceed with caution.

hey! i just wanted to let you know that i’ve been through a similar situation and understand how you feel (though my case was not as severe). i wish you a safe road to recovery.

note, i think you asked for their characters but it leant itself towards their rl versions. i have a feeling the dsmp versions would be too chaotic for this sensitive subject.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!! please do not be afraid to send in an ask. ANON IS ON!!

Phil:

- phil was very scared about you being so gravely hurt, it kept him up for some nights. thankfully, you pulled through.

- he visited whenever he could. if he couldn’t, he was busy making sure coming home felt as comfortable for you as possible while also educating himself on how to take care of you.

- phil would listen to how you felt, and be understanding of your feelings.

- “You don’t have to tell me why you did it, I’m just glad you’re here,” pulling you in for a warm hug.

- when you got back home, he made sure he and the boys had prepared your favorite dinner and desserts.

It was the day you had just got home from rehabilitation, and you two were sitting on the couch. You hadn’t said much, you felt like you had nothing to say. Phil had asked for you to sit down so you two could talk, one on one.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. “I’m sorry,” your voice started to crack. “For making you guys worry about me.” Tears started to form from your eyes and you wept into your hands.

Phil immediately reached over to you to hug you, letting you cry on his shoulder. “We don’t blame you. We don’t blame anybody. I just want you to be here safe with us. Let it all out.” He pat and rubbed your back soothingly as you kept crying. But it was a good cry. He was just glad you came home.

Tommy:

- even though many see tommy as a loud and obnoxious boy with a general disregard for others, we all know deep down that’s a persona. he will go out of his way to make other comfortable in his presence if he truly cares for them. which he does, for you of course.

- he wants to make you happy! when the time is right, he’ll crack jokes and offer to play minecraft with you.

- would tone down the yelling. not because you asked, but he’s afraid of triggering you. treats you like glass. if you notice he’s being quieter than usual and you don’t care, you tell him you don’t.

- if you’re feeling it, he’ll take you out to fun places and to eat. nothing that’s too outlandish like a theme park, but just enough to have a reason to get out of bed that day instead of sleeping in.

It had been a week since you had gotten home and Phil had instructed you to maintain somewhat of a schedule to upkeep yourself. Right now was your nightly routine, washing yourself, brushing your teeth, and finally sliding under the covers. It felt nice. The blanket of sleep consumes you easily…

…

Until you bedroom door opens you’re being aggressively shaken awake. You groan, shying away, but they’re persistent.

“Ey, wake up, it’s morning!” Tommy shakes you again.

You realize you didn’t dream, but think nothing of it. “Tommy please, what do you want.”

Finally, Tommy pulled your warm sheets from over you, making you flinch. “I wanted to go out to the park today! Feed the ducks! Yeesss!”

You sighed. If you didn’t comply now, Tommy will refuse to stop nagging you for the rest of the day. You rolled out of bed and into the bathroom. You could very clearly hear Tommy’s cheers.

You two had gotten ready, eaten breakfast, and said goodbye to the rest of your family so you could head over to the park. It was close enough that it wasn’t unbearable to walk to. Even if you weren’t completely yourself yet, you were glad Tommy was.

After the short walk you two finally reached the park. Tommy immediately bolted toward the pond and you jogged behind. He had already started throwing the ducks some seeds, and even threw it on a duck. It didn’t seem too pleased.

You two sat at the edge of the pond as you watched the ducks eat. “Hey.” You hear Tommy call to you, and you turn your head to him.

“Can we talk about what happened? With you? Is it okay?” You could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

“Go ahead, what is it?”

“When Techno found out what happened to you, and told us the news, I was scared shitless.” He let out a sad huff. “I thought we were going to lose you.” Tommy kept his eyes fixed at the pond in front of him. “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have brought this up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He sighed.

You put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh Tommy…” You started, “I’m sorry for making you worry. You shouldn’t have to feel like that because of my actions.”

Tommy was lost in thought for a moment, before finally speaking up, “No, please don’t apologize. It’s not anybody’s fault this happened, right?” You nodded.

Tommy stood up, dusting his pants off from the grass. “Come on now, let’s go get some ice cream!” He pulled you up from the ground.

“Last one to get to the shop has to pay!”

Immediately, Tommy bolts in the direction to the ice cream shop, and you catch up to him. No matter the circumstance is, he never seems to fail at putting a smile on your face.

Wilbur:

- i HC wilbur being the oldest, being older than techno by 3 years and older than tommy by 8, like IRL. :]

- i think out of all of your siblings, wilbur exudes the most “protective older brother” energy, yeah?

- remember when tommy lied about his mother being in trouble and how worried and anxious wilbur got? turn that up to 11 with what happened with you.

- with wilbur being the oldest, he of course had the responsibility of taking care of everyone. but somehow you and him didn’t spend as much 1 on 1 time as much as wilbur did with his other siblings

- wilbur definitely was going to change that, realizing that and not wanting to make that mistake again.

- he decided that finding a new hobby with you wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

You were sitting at the dinner table, being the last one there. You were poking at your food for the most part, and Wilbur got home late from… whatever Wilbur thing he was doing. Phil cooked pasta for dinner tonight. Wilbur put down his bags at the door connected to the garage. “I’m home! What’s for dinner?”

“Pasta.”

“Mmm, I love some good ol’ pasta.” He said, already taking a plate out to serve himself. “Also, hey, I bought something I wanted to build with you. Do you mind?”

You finally looked up from your very interesting pasta. “Build..?” You had no idea where this was going.

Wilbur placed his plate on the table and approached the bags of groceries, going through them to find the bag he was looking for. He pulled out a LEGO set. More specifically, a LEGO City set from the looks of the box? “Wilbur, how much was that?”

He blinked at you innocently. “It was only, like, £25. And look! It’s got a little submarine we can make with a rock and ugly sea monster—“

“But why?”

“Why not? It wouldn’t hurt for you to do something new, yeah?” He smiled at you, shaking the LEGO box in front of him to show it off. You sighed, but smiled. “Alright. But maybe you and I should eat this pasta first before we start building.” Wilbur nodded.

“Speaking of water, don’t you think I could teach you how to swim or something?”

“Oh, fuck off with that!”

Technoblade:

- i think out of everyone in the family, he understands you the most in terms of how you feel.

- not suicidal, but just generally having depressive episodes due to his ADHD.

- techno’s generally closed off, but started to really open up to you because he wanted to show he cares, even if it meant going out of his comfort zone.

- techno suggested journaling. once a day or once per week, it didn’t really matter. just as long as you could write down your feelings somewhere.

- he didn’t explicitly say it, but he also bought a book for himself so he could do it along with you. although, he more often than not just forgets to write in it until you mention your own journal.

- if you want to be sad and quiet, you can be sad and quiet with him. his room is a safe space for you if you ever need it and you’re always welcome to come in, just as long as you knock first.

With one hand on your mouse scrolling through the internet, and another resting your head on it, you were safe to admit you were utterly and completely bored. Honestly, you thought about taking another nap after your last one, but a knock on your door stopped you right before you pulled the covers over yourself. “Can I come in?”

You rose from your bed. “Come in. Oh hey Techno.”

He gave a simple wave and his signature “Halloo.” He walked right over to you and handed a journal and a ballpoint pen. “I got this. For you.” His stare was sharp but you could sort of tell he was nervous.

“What for?”

“I dunno. Writin’ your feelings down or drawin’ or somethin’. Whatever helps you vent.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Oh Techno, thank you. That’s very sweet of you.” You gave a slight smile, but saw that he still had another journal in his hand. “You have two journals?”

Techno raised his eyebrow in confusion before looking down at his hand. “Oh this? It’s for me. So we could do it together, I guess.”

You let out a happy hum. “That’s nice. Say, why don’t we go to your room? I want to see your new lava lamp and stuff.”

Techno shrugged. “Sure. I’ve got more stationary too if you want.” He waved his hand before letting himself out the door, with you following not far behind.

hi hope u enjoyed reading as much as i did writing it. this format was new for me but very fun!

#dream smp x reader #tommyinnit x reader #wilbur x reader #philza x reader #technoblade x reader #dsmp x reader #dsmp x male reader #wilbur soot x reader #mcyt x you #mcyt x y/n #mcyt x reader #mcyt x platonic reader #sleepy bois x reader #sleepy bois family #sleepy bois fanfic #request #mcyt imagine #mcyt fluff

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy tubbo jack and ranboo - how y/n made friends with everyone

this is an extra to the great adventures series

requested: yes/no

warnings: cursing

tommy

you were actually friends with tommy when he was streaming to a few viewers, and you even watched as his channel grew. eventually he asked you to mod for him, as he knew he could trust you and because had experience being a twitch mod. he was also the reason you began streaming. as for how you met, you were in the same classes as him in highschool, and since you were the ‘quiet’ person in the class, they sat tommy next to you. honestly, you hated him when you first met him and the feeling was mutual. you didn’t want to sit next to the rather loud teenager and he had no one to talk to anymore as his friends were on the other side of the room.

“do you ever talk?”

“heh?”

“i said do you ever talk...do you always do that”

“do what”

“that fucking HeH.”

“are you mocking me simons?”

“noooo why would i do that...”

“it’s y/n.”

“right, yeah, yeah, i totally knew that.”

“great now please leave me alone i’m trying to work.”

“loser.”

“the fuck did you just say?”

“nothing.”

it was that moment tommy decided he was going to make you just like him, and a few years later that’s exactly what he did. by year 11 you and tommy had grown extremely close. the last day of school arrived a lot earlier than expected, everyone was extremely stressed, no one knew what to expect or what was going to happen. you found yourself hanging around with tommy a lot more as you had no idea if you would both be going to the same college, in september you received a text message that made your night:

tommy: college sent out emails telling you if you were accepted go check

*2 minutes later*

tommy: well?

y/n: i got accepted

tommy: me too

y/n: call me right now

tommy: i’m about to stream..have you ever considered streaming?

y/n: absolutely not

tommy: make an account and stream after me i’ll raid you..make me mod you know how people can be

once college started up, you were slightly nervous the two of you would drift away from each other. however this was far from the case, although you both did different subjects and he was only in on wednesdays, the pair of you would hang out together a lot more. he would be in your streams and vice versa, you would either be in his tiktoks, or you would be the one filming them.

“y/n make a tiktok we can be mutuals.”

“please god no.”

you spent so much time at his house either talking about random things, playing whatever game you could find, or streaming. he dragged you to every meet up he went on, allowing you to meet people such as niki, phil, and, wilbur. you didn’t know this, but he would constantly bring you up in conversations with dream, which eventually lead to you joining the smp in october where you would later be able to meet the likes of jack, technoblade and jschlatt. the only person you didn’t seem to see on the server was his other friend tubbo.

ranboo

you had become friends with scott after being his first twitch mod and when he noticed you started streaming, he was extremely supportive, always raiding your stream once he ended his. today you found yourself bickering with scott because he wouldn’t let you in mcc despite the fact you were ‘the best minecraft player.’

“y/n, i watched you die in minecraft 7 times last night within 5 minutes.”

“oh i’m sorry mr perfect, let me in mcc.”

“no.”

“fine i’ll make my own.”

and that’s exactly what you did..well you tried your best.

you started your stream as soon as scott ended and had him call you on discord after explaining to your chat what you were about to do.

“scott final chance let me in mcc, i’ll settle for access to the practice server.”

“fine.”

“REALLY?!”

“absolutely not!”

“fuck you, ill be in it one day!”

you left the call telling chat you didn’t need that negative energy in your life.

you really have scott to thank for you making friends with ranboo, scott made a tweet explaining what you were doing on stream which caught ranboos eye.

Smajor1995: after not making it into mcc again my good friend @y/n has decided to take it upon themselves to make their own on stream!! ill also be in the stream (if they answer my calls) *twitch link*

ranboo joined your stream and was instantly met with you yelling at scott (again) to let you in mcc.

“IM YOUR TWITCH MOD!”

“i will ban you from mcc!”

“you don’t have the nerve... so he left the call this is bullshit watch me land this water bucket clutch down this ravine so we can find axolotls and build an army.”

*you died*

you pulled your hood over your face before sinking down your chair taking a deep breath.

“FUCK!”

you calmly got back up and looked into your camera.

“i was so close, so very close.. HEY CHAT SCOTT SENT ME A LINK TO THE SERVER!”

a few minutes later you were able to get onto the server, only to be kicked less than a minute later. the reason you were banned being ‘i watched you fail the water bucket clutch down a ravine.’

you continued your build on your server and just spent the rest of the stream talking about anything that crossed your mind, that was until you decided to copy ace race. once finished, you looked into your camera and pulled your microphone closer to you.

“so this is race ace, so scott doesn’t sue me, and basically it’s going to be this course, but i’m going to change a random section practice it every day, not tell anyone it changed. of course i’m going to tell my team we have to win, oh fuck i forgot scott was watching my stream..it’s okay he didn’t hear me he’s too busy planning how he can rig the next mcc.”

ranboo found himself enjoying your content and even noticed you in his chat multiple times.

“just a minute chat i’m just sending an important dm to my mods.”

that’s when you noticed chat paused for a minute after you sent a message, it confused you for a minute before realising ranboo made you a vip on his channel and you decided to do the same for him on your channel, from there you added each other on discord. the pair of you made friends extremely quickly, you were constantly part of his streams as you would call him on discord not realising that he was streaming.

“hi y/n, by the way i’m streaming”

“i just wanted to ask if you knew how to break into a house?”

“....why”

“i locked myself out by accident and my parents are asleep come help me.”

“you are in the uk.”

“okay? catch a flight.”

chat honestly loved you and your friendship with ranboo. the pair of you only met a few weeks ago and you were already acting as though you had known each other for years.

jack

you and jack met for the first time on the smp, which would have been fine, however you met during lore and your characters weren’t exactly the best of friends. once lore had ended, everyone said their goodbyes and left the call. a few moments later you received a discord message from jack asking if you were available to call any time soon. since you were back in lockdown, you had plenty of free time. you arranged a time and date a few days later you called jack, where you had your first proper interaction out of character.

“hello jack!!”

“oh hi y/n i just thought it may be a good idea to get to know each other, well you know considering we’re both on the dream smp.”

“yeah, yeah, i understand what you mean.”

the pair of you ended up getting along with each other, it was slightly awkward for the first 5 minutes of the call, but that was expected since you hadn’t really met jack before and were anxious to call him. however, after that the conversation started to flow and you found out the pair of you had a lot in common making it easy to come up with things to talk about. it ended up feeling as though you were catching up with a friend you hadn’t spoken to for a while.

“has anyone told you your accent is really strong.”

“so is yours, y/n, what the fuck is that supposed to mean.”

“it means your accent is strong, duh.”

jack asked if you’d like to stay in call and join him on the smp whilst he streamed, and you gladly accepted the offer as you really didn’t want to do your college work, and you were enjoying your time with him. a few minutes into the stream jack had killed you several times.

“JACK STOP KILLING ME!”

rather than answering you he just sat laughing. he then went on to attempt to mute him microphone, he failed. however he didn’t realise this, so you sat listening to his plan on how he was going to kill you again. this time you were prepared, you sent a message to tommy telling him to log on along with your location. few minutes later tommy was by your side and helped you kill jack several times for revenge.

“Y/N...TOMMY!!”

“you didn’t mute your mic, so i told tommy you were bullying me.”

“im gonna go...BYE JACK, BYE Y/N, ILL SEE YOU SOON!”

“i can’t believe you.”

“hey you’re the one who didn’t turn your mic off.”

“how did you know?”

“i had your stream on my other monitor.”

“ayeee you watch my streams?”

“...i’ve been a sub for 4 months.”

the two of you stayed chatting and playing for another hour. the pair of you were already so close and you had only met each other the other day. this was just the start of your friendship, soon enough you were in a laugh and the stream ends challenge on his stream, however due to lockdown rules this was done over discord leading to you accidentally leaving the call several times.

“and they’re gone again!”

*4 minutes later*

“SORRY JACK IM BACK!”

“stop leaving y/n!”

“oh i’m sorry, let me just go yell at my wifi to stop cutting out!”

a few seconds later you could be heard faintly in the background screaming at your wifi as it would continue to buffer. as soon as restrictions were over one of the first things you decided to do was go to jacks and stream a laugh you lose where there was a punishment if you were responsible for losing the last heart. however everything was apparently hilarious in person as you would constantly laugh, meaning you were responsible for losing the last heart.

“y/n give me your phone.”

“no.”

“you lost let me tweet from your account”

“fine..”

soon enough your fans and friends with your notifications on received this twitter notification

“y/n: jack is so cool and funny he is also really tall i am not”

tubbo

tubbo was actually the last person you met and made friends with, your community were convinced for some reason that you both didn’t like each other and that’s why the pair of you didn’t talk to each other. this was far from the case you were both waiting for the right time, tubbo was an extremely busy teenager and you didn’t want to interrupt him, and tubbo knew you were currently in a stressful position since you had recently joined the dream smp, also you were still meeting people so he didn’t want to stress you out. this doesn’t mean he didn’t want to be your friend, he actually asked tommy since he had been your friend for at least 4 years what would be the best way of getting to know you.

“mate they hated me when we first met, just talk to them or something. you could have met them the last time i went up to visit you, but they ended up not feeling too good and went back to the hotel room.”

“when are you next coming up?”

“how about next week, and i’ll bring y/n, i really don’t understand why you’re nervous tubbo, it’s y/n they wouldn’t hurt a fly..well hmm.”

“see you next week then!”

a week later tommy dragged you to the train station.

“uh tommy where are we going?”

“...on a train.”

“no way, really? oh my god!”

a few hours later you finally got off the train.

“ill go with my dad to check into the hotel room, do you want to come with us or?”

“i think i’ll go for a walk and stretch my legs.”

“right okay, meet you at the beach later”

you spent a few minutes walking around the beach picking up any rocks and shells that caught your eye, little did you know it would result in you meeting tubbo. once you finished putting your new collection in your pockets you noticed a small crowd of people walk up to someone asking for pictures assuming it was tommy you walked over to the boy, it wasn’t tommy it was in fact tubbo. at first you stayed silent not wanting to really cause attention to yourself. you only spoke up when some people started to make inappropriate comments towards him.

“oh sorry to be a pain guys me and tubbo have plans with tommy in a few minutes, we should go so we’re not late. bye guys.”

you smiled and waved as they walked away. you looked over to tubbo, you could tell he was still pretty anxious about what just happened and honestly if you was in his position, you would react the same way.

“we should probably move from here incase they come back and see you’re still here, are you okay?”

“im feeling better now it’s over..thank you”

“oh it’s no problem i’m, y/n btw.”

“wait you and tommy were still meant to be on the train.”

“the train was actually on time, tommy went to check into the hotel i wanted to stretch my legs, i also wanted to collect some rocks.”

“did you collect enough or did you want more?”

“im not going to say no if you wanna go collect some with me.”

the pair of you walked around keeping each other close incase the people from before returned. half an hour later, the pair of you sat on a bench close to the beach so you could show tubbo everything you decided to pick up, he ended up keeping a rock he liked to have as a memory. tubbo wrapped an arm around you as it was getting cold whilst you watched the sunset.

“tubbo i think tommy forgot about me.”

“you can spend the night at mine, i’ll send him a message to let him know.”

“are you sure?”

“of course!”

“this has to be the most unsafe thing either of us will ever do, we hardly know each other and now i’m staying at yours.”

tommy sent you a message explaining that he didn’t forget, there was a problem at the other hotel and they had to go find another one, but you’ll be fine to stay at tubbos for the night. the pair of you spent the entire night learning as much as you can about the other person. it had only been an evening but you already knew the pair of you would be great friends.

taglist:

@dumb-chaotic-bi-energy @uselesssapphickitten @l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @renleicrashed @c1loudee

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