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#deadass I’m numb but I’m laughing
bettysupremacy · 6 months
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Yuh it’s me your bff. Ok how abt the deer emoji. Bc yk James fr be a dear 🦌 LMAO. Ok so I’m deadass convinced James is like the cockiest mf on the planet and whenever reader tries to make him all flustered with compliments IT DIESNT WORK and he just flirts back like an asshole. We love him tho 😋. Anyways if you’d make a fic on that I’d fr sell my soul 🥰 LOVE U
OMG HI BFF🦌 and also you’re right. James is the cockiest boy ever.. but he’s also the sweetest. And I miss him. Physically. sorry this took me so long </3
“Come here often?” Your tippy toes ache from the way you stand on them. His face is so close, you can practically feel his smile. The sight is definitely a show to the other people of this club.
He snorts, bending down to kiss your lips.
“Come here often?” He reuses your line, pawing at your hip absentmindedly.
You laugh, startled at his lack of reaction. “Stop.”
He grins. “You got a number I can call?”
“Ew,” your numb face twists, presenting James with a pretty smile. “That was bad.”
“Was it?”
“Pretty bad.”
The line moves, the people in front of you walking forward three steps, before pausing again. The girls in front of you drop to sit on the cold concrete. The air is cold, and the concrete is colder. You feel bad for their uncovered legs.
“We’re never getting in.” She moans to her friend in front of her in a pretty blue dress. The sullen girls pick at their tights.
You look up at James curious as he gives you a small shake of his head. You’ll get in.
“It’s cold.” He frowns. “Are you cold?”
“I’m cold.” You agree. “You want a drink?” Your eyes peer up to his. “I’ll buy you a drink inside.”
Your flirting doesn’t budge him. “I’ll buy you a drink, sweet pea.”
Mary giggles behind the both of you.
“What’s it, Macdonald?” James turns, resting his chin on your head. You stare ahead, grinning.
“Sweet pea.”
He just smiles, turning back to bend and murmur into your ear. His proximity flusters you, and he has to chase your ear when his breath tickles you. It’s warm, tingling the skin in contact. “Someone’s got a case of the giggles.”
You nod, face faux serious. “She’s always got a case of the giggles.”
“I heard that!”
Lily grabs her, pressing a long kiss to her cheek. “She’s right.”
A warm hand grabs your arm, squeezing it tight twice before you realize the line is moving. Tripping over your feet, you let the hand guide you. “Oh,” you murmur. “sorry.”
“Right this way then.” James smiles.
You stare up at him. He’s the sunshine to your cold, the warmth to your achy fingers, and when you see him in this jacket it makes it hard to remember the way your shoes pinch your feet.
“This jacket is criminal on you, Jamie.”
“Yeah? How?”
“It murders me every time I see you in it.” You fake stab yourself in the stomach, twisting your fist and pretending to fall over. He catches you easily, holding you in his arms with a heavy smile.
“Time of death 9:34pm.” Sirius chimes in, though it falls to deaf ears.
James lifts you, still smiling as you push hair from your face.
“You look so pretty tonight.”
“Stop.” You blow.
“I’m serious!” James gasps, hands dropping down to the meat of your hips. Deftly, he turns you to face his friends. “Doesn’t she look pretty tonight?”
“Stunning.” Sirius nods.
“Very pretty.” Mary giggles.
“James.” You whisper, embarrassed. He doesn’t fret, grabbing your cold cheeks in his even colder hands.
“Yes, my darling?”
“Let me flirt with you.”
He pauses, standing in his place, your raw whisper startles him. “I can’t.” He murmurs slowly, letting you pull him closer to the moving line.
“Why not?”
“Cause you make me nervous.”
You laugh, pushing his chest. “Stupid.”
“For real!” He laughs back breathlessly. You see it in the cold air around you. “You make me so nervous.”
“When I like your jacket?” Your head tilts. “When I ask to buy you a drink?”
“When you look at me.”
You laugh. “You’re being silly.”
“I’m being honest.” He shrugs, grabbing your hand. Analyzing your face, he scoffs, looking away with a smile on his face, shaking his head in disappointment. “Have I ever told you you’re the prettiest girl in the entire world?”
“Enough!” Sirius yells pathetically.
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sunlightfeeling · 10 months
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Y’all are going to laugh at me for this one…which you absolutely should because omfg:
So, I was driving back from the gym, as one usually does. And while I was sitting at a red light, I noticed cigarette ash fly out of someone’s car and promptly looked over because gross.
Tell me why I had to do a FUCKING DOUBLE-TAKE because he looked like Takuya (from the side)?? Like I’m being so so fucking deadass that my ass is numb right now. I promise. Dude was tan as fuck, had about the same length as his (my avatar is actually very close but his was lighter color)…like omg I didn’t actually think it was him but my first thought was like: “Helloooo~” tucks hair behind ear
And like…he was wearing these sunglasses and smoking and his fucking arm out the window and I kept on looking over at him 😭😭😭
Emoji representation:
👀👀😐😐😐👀😐😐😐😐😐👀👀👀😐
He turned his face a couple times so that I could see what he actually looked like, and I kept saying to myself “no no no turnnnnn. Turn to the sideeee” lmfao. I’m SO…😭
I seriously did a “generic man that shares celeb crush’s attributes = actual celeb crush”
So, yeah, I have decided to never leave the fucking house ever again.
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mychemicalrachel · 2 years
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@we--are---not--afraid
I already answered about Horny af and the self indulgent band au, but I’m gonna talk about them both again because I adore them so much 😊
This is gonna be long, bear with me.
As for the horny fic, there is one fun part I could give you a snippet of;
“I want to talk,” Adam said.
Kavinsky didn’t want to talk. He wanted to put his tongue back in Adam’s mouth, he wanted to keep kissing him until his lips were numb, until he couldn’t tell Adam’s body parts from his own.
“Right now?” Kavinsky asked. At Adam’s nod, he started to sit up, moving away, but Adam’s hand on the back of his neck held him in place.
“I said I want to talk,” Adam said, “not to stop.”
K licked his lips, bit back a smile, and lowered himself back down against his boyfriend, slotted between his legs, pressed against his chest. He kissed Adam soft and quick, and then started trailing his lips down. Kisses against his cheeks, his jaw, his chin, his neck. Teeth grazed his pulse, tongue lapping after, and Adam released a breath. “I’m listening,” Kavinsky said.
The vibrations from Adam's laugh tingled in his lips. “I want to have sex.”
“Shitfuck,” Kavinsky said. His eyelids fluttered closed. “Are you sure?”
Adam’s fingers threaded through his hair, pulled him back enough to look him in the eyes. Blue eyes that had never seemed so sure in their life. He kissed him once, hard, and added, “I want to do it with Ronan, too.”
“Hmm,” Kavinsky said. “Double penetration seems kind of advanced for your first time.”
And there is another part of the band au I like (I deadass could not decide on tense, so it switches between past and present randomly)
Outside, the sidewalks are clearing. A few groups wait on the curb for rides, some milling around debating on what to do next, since the night was still young. Ronan leans against the wall, lighting up a cigarette. He’s the kind of guy Eleanor always wanted to have the guts to go for. Tall, dark, savagely handsome. The kind of guy she wanted to be with before she settled down with an Adam type. If he hadn’t said he was gay, she would have definitely changed course and started flirting with him tonight, but as it was her sights were still set on Adam. Ronan and Blue started bickering about something, Shira and Toby nestling into a shadow to kiss in feigned secrecy, and Adam glanced back toward the bar.
“I don’t really like concerts,” Adam admitted in a low voice and Eleanor was relieved that he was the one initiating conversation. She didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t like his friends with their artfully destroyed clothes and piercing gazes. “They’re loud and being in the crowd makes me dizzy because–” he gestured to his deaf ear. “That’s why I hang out on the sidelines.”
“I like being around people who don’t give a shit,” Eleanor says. “It’s like, freeing, you know? Just throwing yourself into it without a care in the world.”
“That’s what Ronan says,” Adam says, a glimpse of Ronan stolen out of the corner of his eye. “He likes it. That’s why I tag along. And to see Kavinsky, of course.”
“Right,” Eleanor says, “the cute drummer,” and Adam laughs.
“Ah!” a voice shouts. “My adoring fans! Please no pictures. No, I’m so sorry, I can’t sign any autographs. My hand has prior engagements tonight.”
Eleanor knows– she knows– before she even turns who it is. Joseph Kavinsky. He was cute, really cute. But he was also such an asshole. Maybe meeting him face to face will be painful for Adam. She’d been told never meet your idols and she figured it was the same for meeting your celebrity crushes. She knows what it’s like to have a crush that ends in sorrow and disappointment.
“What prior engagements?” Ronan says. “Jerking yourself off?”
Kavinsky’s mouth hangs open and his eyebrow shoots up as he joins their little group along the wall. His fingers hook in Ronan’s belt loops and he tugs him closer, bodies flush from hips to knees. “You should be nicer to me, maybe I was planning on jerking you off.”
Blue looks affronted. “Is this your idea of flirting?”
Kavinsky looks at her sideways and then his gaze keeps traveling over to Adam and he smiles. “Hey, hot stuff. You finally decided to become a groupie?”
Adam cocks his head. “You think I’d make a good groupie, K?”
K! Was Adam actually flirting with him?
“That depends, sweetheart,” Kavinsky said and his eyes traveled up and down Adam’s body. “Does that mouth do more than talk?”
Eleanor made a surprised noise in the back of her throat.
Kavinsky’s gaze kept going and landed on her, half hidden by Adam’s shoulder. His eyes narrowed curiously. She regretted wearing a band shirt, but she didn’t plan on actually meeting any of the band members. “Oh, is that an actual groupie? Did you pick up a stray?”
Ronan scoffed, probably because he’d said the same thing.
“No,” Adam sighed. “She’s a classmate.”
Kavinsky turned his attention back to Ronan for a fleeting moment and seemed to realize he was still holding onto his belt loops. He let go and stepped back to light up a cigarette. He blew out some smoke and gestured to Eleanor. “You’re a fan?”
Eleanor looked down at her shirt again and gnawed on her lip. He didn’t seem to recognize her, but that wasn’t surprising. Kavinsky probably had girls throwing themselves at him all the time. She didn’t really feel offended so much as scrutinized. She just shrugged. “I guess.”
“Okay.” Kavinsky nodded. “I was, uh– I was just kidding about the hand thing. Did you want an autograph or something?”
“No.”
Adam laughed a surprised laugh. And maybe it was the alcohol swimming in her stomach, blurring in her head, but she really wanted to hear it again.
“Okay,” Kavinsky said again. He took his cigarette between two pinched fingers and held it out, letting Ronan take it from him, bringing it to his own lips. It was hot in a way she didn’t look at too closely. Kavinsky stepped toward Adam and Adam shifted, bumping against Eleanor as he straightened to his full height. “You look fucking stunning tonight,” Kavinsky said. He wasn’t wrong. Adam, out here beneath the yellow glow of the streetlights, looked heavenly.
Adam’s lips curled. “You smell like shit.”
Blue threw her hands up. “What the fuck is wrong with you people? Can you not flirt normally?”
Adam licked his lips. “Blue’s right. Um, Kavinsky, you looked very sexy up there hitting your big drum with small sticks.”
Kavinsky laughed. Blue sighed. Ronan batted Kavinsky’s shoulder and held out the cigarette. Before he could take it back, Adam intercepted it and brought it to his lips. Kavinsky watched him appraisingly. Typically Eleanor didn’t like cigarettes or the smoke that came with them, but watching Adam’s cheeks hollow around the filter, his lips pursing as he blew out. She definitely saw the appeal.
“So,” Kavinsky said, pleased, “your mouth does more than talk.”
Adam scoffed. “Fuck you.”
He held his arms wide, a request. “Do I have to beg? Or just ask nicely?”
Blue made a retching noise.
AND THE POSSESSION FIC. I will admit, there is more in my head than on file at the moment. Basically, I had the idea of Kavinsky being stuck in the dreamspace after his death and, in an attempt to bring himself back to life, he possesses Ronan. I said this one was Pynch and Rovinsky, but I definitely considered some moments between Kavinsky and Adam.
I never really decided if Kavinsky taking over Ronan’s body was accidental or intentional. The whole fic would be following Adam trying to get Ronan back (and maybe falling in love with Kavinsky along the way? Or straight up murdering him. Could go either way.) I never even figured out when this actually takes place. Adam’s at Harvard, but Cabeswater is still alive? This is why its a work in progress…
I don’t have much of this actually written, but there is a small piece;
Adam wakes up in a cold sweat still attached to the nightmare he’d been having. It takes a moment for him to gather his surroundings, realizing he’s not in Cabeswater anymore. He forces his muscles to relax, his breath to even, as his eyes adjust to the dark dorm room. His roommate’s light snoring is the only sound.
He feels wrong.
Everything feels wrong.
He grabs his phone from the floor beside his bed and scrambles to his feet, already hitting the speed dial by the time he’s headed out the door. He doesn’t want to wake his roommate and have to explain that he’s freaked out by a nightmare.
That’s all it is, he assures himself. It was just a bad dream.
Ronan doesn’t answer.
He keeps walking, bare feet against the rough carpet. All of the rooms he passes are utterly silent. It’s past three in the morning and most of his fellow classmates are probably either dead asleep or buried in last minute assignments.
He keeps calling.
He finds the common room secluded, most of the lights off. He sits on the sofa and tries calling Ronan again.
When he doesn’t answer, Adam starts to panic.
It was just a dream. A horrible, terrifying, panic inducing bad dream.
But it was so real. And Adam knows by now that just because it’s a dream, doesn’t mean it’s a work of fiction.
He sucks in a breath and pushes in a different number.
After four rings, a tired voice says, “It’s three in the fucking morning.”
Declan is different from Ronan in so many ways, and yet there are always similarities popping up, surprising Adam in new ways.
“Something’s wrong,” he says.
And suddenly Declan is very much awake. “Parrish? What do you mean? Is Ronan okay? Is Matthew?”
“I don’t know,” Adam admits. “I had a dream--” he releases a shaky breath. “I can feel it, something is wrong. And Ronan won’t answer his phone.”
“Okay,” Declan says, a terrifying calm taking over his voice. Adam can hear rustling in the background as he gets dressed. “Tell me about the dream.”
So Adam does, to the best of his abilities. It’s faded now, as if every second awake is erasing what he recalls, but he tells Declan what he remembers. There was a darkness eating Cabeswater, like a shadow stretching its fingers through the branches of the trees and threading between the blades of grass.
“Was it like the demon?”
“No, it was different. It was so cold. There was a figure. A person. I don’t remember all of it, but I remember watching it drag Ronan away. He disappeared and I heard screaming.”
That was when he woke up, Ronan’s scream still echoing in his head.
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bastillewolf · 3 years
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Shinigami Eyes (II)
Pairing: Corpse Husband / Reader
Summary: After you distastefully kill Corpse in a game of Among Us, he wants you to make it up to him and invites you to come over for the week.
Notes: Thank you so much for the love on the previous chapter, I’ve never gotten this many notes before. I hope you enjoy, and maybe leave an ask if you want to? I can’t promise I have time to do them, but I’ll pick out a couple.
Also, I might rewrite this. I kinda rushed it because I wanted to finish it by tonight, but there will be a final and third chapter to this afterwards. Please do let me know what you think.
Tag list CLOSED!
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Shinigami Eyes - Pt. II
5… 4… 3… 2… 1…
Impostor
You were teamed up with Sean.
Your fist violently slammed down on the desk. “Goddammit! I don’t want to be impostor anymore! This game has no compassion for my poor nerves.” It was the third time in a row now, and you were really craving to do normal tasks now without all the scheming. “Fuck it, I don’t care if they kill me. I’m just gonna do my thing without thinking about it.”
You decide to follow Toast for a bit to watch him do some task. You kill him in Laboratory. You vent back to Launchpad and take your time walking towards MedBay while the kill button restores. You meet up with Corpse, and follow him while pretending to do wires in the Y-hallway. You watched the green bar go up, and continued. Sabotaging and then fixing lights, you made sure your place with Corpse was settled. Then the body of Lily was reported.
As you expected, Corpse easily vouched for you as he’d seen you do a task. The round was skipped, though Rae was sussed for ‘chasing’ Sean, by his own words.
“Corpse, you’ve grown weak,” you muttered to chat.
You were in Greenhouse, and decided it would be best to kill him there and sabotage Reactor. “Sorry baby, but I can’t keep following you around.” You quickly set off Reactor and murdered him in front of the plants. “Your blood shall keep the plants hydrated.” You did an evil laugh. “Pretty sure that’s not how it works, though.”
You vented down to MedBay and as you walked out you met up with Rae. She’d be the vouch who would confirm you weren’t anywhere near Greenhouse. “I’ll just have to fix my own sabotage so they’ll never suspect me.” You helped her with the handprint, and noted Sykkuno and Felix being there. Sean sabotaged lights, you killed Sykkuno, and ran out to follow Lily into Laboratory. Felix reported the body.
“Holy shit,” Rae gasped. So far, five people had died. You only needed to kill one more person. “It was Felix!”
“Wait, what?” the man in question asked. “I was fixing Reactor!”
She mentioned that only you, Sykkuno, Felix and herself had been there and that you’d helped her do handprint. “Sykkuno must have fixed it, and then you killed him!”
Sean asked if you’d seen anything.
“No, the lights were out. I followed Rae into Laboratory after the scan.” Your voice didn’t tremble or raise, a tactic you’d taken up from the best lair in the group. Well, the one who was now dead. Oops. “I haven’t seen Felix this entire game, though.”
He was evidently at a loss for words, so the group was quick to vote for him.
Pewds was ejected.
Victory.
You thanked Sean for a good game who was laughing his ass off. “I can’t believe you did Corpse like that! Poor guy!”
“I deadass thought you were innocent,” Corpse replied, “I’m hurt.”
“Why do you still sound dark and menacing when you say something like that?!”
You agreed with Sean heartily, “He’s just salty I’ve bested him at his own game.”
“Hey now, no need to actually insult me.”
The group laughed. You decided to call it for the night, right before Corpse did the same.”
 ***
He was calling you again. “What is it this time, you salty?”
“Salty? Nah, never,” he said, but you weren’t convinced.
“Then why you calling?”
“What, I can’t call my friends after playing a nice round of Among Us?”
“Not when you lost the game and you call the person who you lost to. Kinda sus, dude.”
“Alright, maybe a little salty.” You smirked.
“Aw, you need me to make it up to you?”
He laughed. “What did you have in mind?”
A bunch of thoughts, most not rated PG-13, crossed your mind. You were suddenly starting to feel uncomfortable. This was probably just something innocent, which got twisted in your fucked-up mind. You shrugged, “Uh… I don’t know.”
“I got an idea.”
“What is it?”
“Come over this week. You said you needed a break, right?”
“That sounds more like you’re doing me a favour instead of me making it up to you.”
“I don’t have any friends. You’d be making it up to me by being the first physical person here in years. I usually don’t invite people over.”
“Wow, I’m flattered. So, you don’t consider me to be your friend after all?”
“You know that’s not what I meant,” he chuckled.
“Sure, sure. Tell me that again when my presence suddenly brightens your life making you not want to get rid of me, ever.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.”
 ***
You walk through the gates following a hoard of people, all the while still feeling drowsy from not getting any sleep during your flight. At least you didn’t have any turbulence and landed safely. Glancing around here and there with no result, you figured Corpse would be waiting outside, until you spotted a figure clad in black a little ends away by the escalator. You were glad you were still awake enough to have found him, because he appeared to silently linger halfway behind a fern.
At least, you hoped it was him. The only indications were his clothes, mask and dark hair. You saw him run a hand through it, and identified the chipped black nail polish and familiar rings. Oh yea, that was him alright.
He seemed to be paying more attention to the floor until he saw two feet appear in his line of sight. “Hey,” you awkwardly greeted. A bit taken a back, he replied, “Oh, wow. Hey.” A mask was covering the bottom of his face, but as far as you could see his eyes were a very dark shade.
“Wow?” you repeated. He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Yea, sorry. It’s a compliment.” You held your elbow out in a safe-distance gestured hello, but he shrugged you off. “You’re gonna be staying with me anyways.” Suddenly in a daze, you felt him wrap his arms around your waist and instantly hugged him back. His baggy sweater felt warm and soft to the touch, and strands of hair tickled your face. You very much tried to repress your smile and blush, but how could you? Hugging someone wasn’t supposed to feel this good. When he pulled back he reached down to take your suitcase from you. “I don’t own a car, is it okay if we take a cab?”
“Y-Yeah, of course,” you stuttered, “But it’s on me. Same with food and stuff.” “Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. “No, you’re letting me stay with you and a hotel would’ve been a lot more expensive than this. It’s my treat.” “Yeah, we’ll see.” He gave you a look and even with the mask you could tell he was smirking underneath it.
It’s about half an hour drive to his apartment complex, and it’s rather nice. “All that YouTube money paying off, huh?” you asked in amusement. “You’d know,” he replied. You insisted on carrying your suitcase up the stairs yourself, which he silently shook his head at, until after a few flights he noticed you struggling and settled on carrying the thing in between the two of you. “How many clothes did you bring?” “Oh, it’s mostly filled with bricks I might need to throw at your head.” He laughed at that.
His apartment was simple, but cosy. “Home sweet home,” he said, almost sarcastically. You furrowed your brow at him. “I’m sure you could’ve had it a lot worse.” He reluctantly agreed.
He helped you set down your luggage in what appeared to be his bedroom, where the curtains were still closed and the black bedsheets fresh. He had a few pieces of fanart up on his wall, and some on his closet. You turned to him and gave him a look. “You’re not sleeping on the couch.”
He quickly shook his head, “You’re not sleeping there. If you won’t let me sleep on the couch I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“If you’re sleeping on the floor, I’m sleeping on the floor.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” he murmured. “What?” “Nothing.”
He suggested playing video games as you were both too tired to do anything else. You’d landed quite late yet were still confused about what time it actually was. Flying is weird. You hopped onto his couch and grabbed a controller.
He sat down next to you, but suddenly seemed tenser than before.
“You okay? You can just go to sleep if you want to.”
He shook his head, “Nah, I don’t sleep a lot. It’s fine.”
You didn’t stop looking at him, though. He was still wearing that mask. “You don’t have to take it off, if you don’t want to. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“It’s not that, I just…” He took a deep breath. You hadn’t expected him to take it off then and there. You stared at him, your mouth slightly agape, controller barely held by your numb hands.
“Disappointed?”
It was as if he was expecting you to make a face or something, but you didn’t give him anything, except for a blatant “Nope” and an “Are we gonna play now or what?”
“You don’t have anything else to say?”
You shrugged, and looked him up and down again. “You’re kind of what I imagined you to be.”
“What’s that?”
“Handsome.”
Neither of you could stop smiling for the rest of the night.
You eventually forced him to sleep in his own bed, even going as far as to shove him into the room and keep your weight against the door so he couldn’t get out, so he eventually relented. “Inviting you here was a mistake.” “How come? All I’ve done so far is look after you!” “You’re a nightmare.”
You mostly stayed in for the week, which you didn’t mind at all. Being in such a closed-off environment with someone you got along with was nice. He attempted to get you to lift the weights in his room and succeeded for around fifteen minutes until you nearly dropped a dumbbell on your foot. You ordered take-out from his favourite restaurant, watched horror movies until you adapted to his sleeping schedule because you were too scared to close your eyes now, and even streamed a bit together with your friends.
“Wait, is Corpse with you?” Rae had asked.
“No, I’m at Corpse’s. He’s sitting across from me so I can’t see his screen but we’re gonna have to share the Discord unless you want to hear an echo.”
“Ah, man! You got to see his face, too?” Sykkuno whined.
“Stop simping, Sykkuno. You get enough attention from him already.”
“Don’t worry, I still love you,” Corpse said.
“Huh?”
It was probably a good thing that you got teamed up again, because you could indeed start to see his hands shaking right as the word ‘impostor’ appeared on the screen. You reached over and stroked it with your thumb. He smiled gratefully back at you.
“Just please,” he pleaded later that day, “Sleep in the bed. If only for one night.”
“No. I’ve heard about and now seen your sleeping habits. If you take the couch you’re never going to get any sleep.” You made a real effort to show him how comfortable you were – even though your back had started to hurt already after the first night – by crawling underneath your blanket and rubbing your head into the soft pillow. He snorted.
Next thing, you feel yourself being lifted by an arm underneath your knees and one around your back. “Corpse! Put me the fuck down!” you shrieked. You knew he lifted weights, but how the hell did he still have the energy as an insomniac? He ungracefully dropped you onto the matrass and turned the lights off. “Good night.”
You quickly got hold of the back of his hoodie before he could leave and pulled. He fell down next to you with a low huff. “Fine, I’ll sleep in the bed. But only if you sleep here too.”
“I snore.”
“Don’t care.”
For some reason, there wasn’t any tension or awkwardness. You were comfortable, and the soft rhythm of his breathing seemed to soothe you. He called out your name, to see if you were still awake.
“Hm?”
“…Thanks for coming over.”
“Any time.”
This was how you would spend the rest of the nights, and whenever either of you woke up suddenly curled up around the other, you didn’t mention it or move away from it. It was the first time in years Corpse got a few nights of complete rest.
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saintobio · 3 years
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bestie you’ve done it again with Sincerely Not, posting bangers after bangers and i’m so excited for what this has in store even if i’m kinda recovered from Wastelands lol
for starters, I wanna fight Satoru, acting like a true undeveloped sagittarius when it comes to relationships and idk if it’s because ik damn well he a fire sign and i’m a water sign and they’re not compatible at all (i know from experience sigh) or if it’s just my fight or flight responding whenever he acts like an ass to MC but my 5’2 ass wants to personally throw hands with this man soooo badly because of this shit, lIKE HOMEBOY YOU SAID WHAT YOU SAID, MC LEFT TO THE COMFORT OF HER HOME AND YOURE GETTING ANGRY FOR WHAT????
When Yuuta got barley mentioned i deadass started rooting for Yuuta to come through and be a better person for MC and then i gave myself flashbacks from Wastelands when Haru got introduced and i had a moment and reflected on what i did. It’s only chapter 2 and i’m like 90% sure these two have never had any prior interactions let alone a possible relationship. Whatever happens in the near future, i’ll just be here and vibe out with the heavy angst and unrequited love tags like always and cry about it once shit starts really going down. #JusticeForMC
And for Sera, i can’t really pin point it but home girl here gives me both Mina from Love, Always and Lara from Remember Forever vibes and i’m hoping it’s not gonna end up like Lara because i remember vividly how much i wanted to curb stomp her , idk but deadass i’m hoping that she’s not a bad person and we see more of a character actually interact with both MC and Satoru because ik she got some baggage that’ll cause some drama or not. Not to antagonize homie here after giving the benefit of the doubt, because i’m hoping that she’s understanding like Mina from L.A. but i started thinking about how ironic it would be if Sera was lowkey having an affair with Satoru’s Dad on the side without Satoru knowing lmao.
Any how, it’s only chapter 2 and i know shit will soon pick up even quicker and i’ll be crying to drake, under blue led lights, and into a bottle of sangria or rosé over yet another of your fics because even if i claim that i’m numb, i’m really not because of how emotionally weak i get whenever you write anything angsty bc your writing is deadass one of my favorite things
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As always Ai, i’ll be here when you post chapter 3 & i hope you’re taking care of yourself and you’re staying hydrated and sleeping properly!
undeveloped sagittarius 😭 but yesss satoru is the most sag man i’ve ever seen. yuuta will not be a love interest thoooo he’s just there as a step-bro and i agree that sera has a bit of mina in her. but we’ll see more of her soon 👁👁 thanks so much for supporting my fics bestie i’m cryin !! i hope u are doing fine <33
AND THE MEMES HELPJSNJ !!! from ufc til now they still make me laugh every single time i see them. they’re always so smart and funny ?? the ijichi one is particularly sending me 💀 thank u for doing god’s work ‼️
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randomoutsiders · 3 years
Note
ISA!! just because i haven’t talked enough about myself in the past 24 hours, lemme tell you about my day
so i mentioned that i was getting a uti last night, whatever. BUT let me tell u- i managed like 5 hours of sleep (its saturday and i wanted to sleep in💔) before waking up at 6 am. and i couldn’t go back to sleep because i was in the worst pain i’ve ever been in. like normal uti symptoms whatever those are a bitch, but my kidneys were crying. they were all inflamed and bad and when i tell you i was convinced i had a kidney infection-
and i needed my mom to call the doctor because i deadass was awake for 20 minutes before i started crying. like i don’t think it’s possible for me to articulate the sheer amount of agony i was in. i couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stand and couldn’t breathe it was horrible. but my mom likes to sleep in on the weekends (she’ll beat my ass if i wake her up before 9) but i was at the point where i needed to take something because i wanted to straight up die. right so i woke her up (scary) and took this numbing pill i had from my last uti in november. it didn’t really help and she told me the doctors office would be closed till at least 9 and that she’d call them then. i had the worst 4 hours of my life because ofc she got up at 10 o clock and forgot that i was certain i needed to go to the er💔💔💔💔
i couldn’t stop crying LMAO
finally we get out appointment and it was an hour out and blah blah blah i sat in the doctors office near-crying for two hours while waiting. like at this point i was nauseous and light headed and thought i was gonna pass out. i woke up with a migraine as well (i have chronic) and i get super duper congested. so i already couldn’t breathe, and even if i could, the pain it put on my back was too much. i have a pretty high tolerance, but when i’m in hella pain i laugh
bro i wasn’t laughing-
like i was legit trembling and could barely stand. my leg kept bouncing while i tried to distract myself and then my mom told me to stop and i almost rocked her shit. i couldn’t even speak tho to the doctor because i would’ve started crying. i don’t cry lol.
i waited for a while and my doctor deadass said that i had a really bad uti. like all the possible levels, bacteria, proteins were in my urine sample. her first words to my mom were literally explaining just how miserable i was just from the work up😩😩.i took some motrin tho ( a really high dose ) as we were waiting and i could still sob over how amazing it worked; like it took away my kidney pain entirely and i was fucking floating. anyways she got me some antibiotics whatever whatever and i was feeling good enough that my friend could still come over and we chilled for a few hours
ANYWAYS you don’t have to read all of this but i need to tell someone or else i’ll forget it happened :)
how are you bby?💕
BABY IM SO SO SORRY KEEP ME UPDATED PLEASE
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yikes-xander · 3 years
Text
000:00:00:00
PLAYLIST ANALYSIS
This is actually me just rambling about my thoughts on each song and why I chose them for this specific playlist rather than like.. an actually good and smart sounding in-depth analysis sorry :/
When I Met You - Ethan Nestor
There are many reasons I chose this one! Mostly the lyrics, but Ethan also sings it so it’s extra fitting for the playlist, especially as the opener.
“When I met you my life was blue, I was so lonely / You took me by surprise” The channel came into my life at the perfect time. I was feeling low, in my last year of high school, struggling with thoughts about the future. It especially helped me through quarantine. Every day I felt like quitting, giving up on putting effort into school/not graduating, but I had something to look forward to every day too, so I pushed through.
“Now you're gone from my life / I'm adrift on the sea” Once the stream ended and the channel was gone, I didn’t know how I felt. I felt sad, but also something I’ve never felt before. After watching Ethan’s video yesterday, hearing him explain he felt the same way, I felt so relieved. I think this lyric kind of describes how I feel now honestly, just kinda numb? Like I’m lost. I’m working on it.
Another Night - Story Untold
More of a light-hearted one now! To me, this song made me think about how good it felt to be a part of the audience.
“Here we go for another night / Another night goofing all around” Everyone (the audience, Mark, Ethan, etc.) having fun every single day? *chefs kiss*
“Laughing 'til our stomachs hurt / And I can't let this moment pass me by” Once again, made me think of all the good times that were a part of the channel, and all the good feelings they gave me.
“So here’s to a night we’ll remember / This is a time we never wanna forget” I think this is kind of self-explanatory? I don’t think any of us want to forget Unus Annus. Personally, it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever had the chance to see happen and be a part of.
100 Bad Days - AJR
This song just gives me good vibes, UA gave me good vibes, it had to be on the playlist. I don’t have much else to say about it.
History - One Direction
This song kind of reminds me of Ethan and Mark separately and UA as a whole. Because like,, they make a great team, they have a lot of history (friends for a long time, Ethan was a fan of Mark before that, etc.)
“You and me got a whole lot of history / So don't let it go, we can make some more, we can live forever” A year is a long time but also feels like no time at all. Sometimes I wish we had more time for UA, but I’m glad I was here for what we got.
“This is not the end” Unus Annus is something I’ll never forget.
Dopamine - With Confidence
Maybe also kind of self-explanatory? Dopamine makes you feel good!! UA also makes me feel good. And the song talks about losing it too so.. yeah
This Is Home - Cavetown
I’m not exactly sure why I felt so drawn to this? But the vibes are immaculate.
“Are you dead? / Sometimes I think I'm dead / 'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head / But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet” after the stream vibes anyone? Or is it just me? I stayed up way too long after it was over. Too many thoughts head full
“Time is / Slowly / Tracing his face / But strangely he feels at home in this place” Unus and Annus,, the Boys of Time babey!!
Ghost Of You - 5 Seconds of Summer
Again.. The VIBES are IMMACULATE. It’s just a sad song for a sad time.
“Too young, too dumb / To know things like love” I’m just a stupid boy who got emotionally attached to a channel whose whole purpose was to DIE and I’m sensitive about it.
All I Wanted - Paramore
Lyrics make me do a Think
“Wake up early to black and white re-runs” colors of the channel,, thinking about all the vids,, the memories :(
“I could follow you to the beginning / And just to relive the start / And maybe then we'll remember to slow down / At all of our favorite parts” this entire verse?? Oh my god. Absolutely *chefs kiss* I think we all know what I mean and like,, why it gives me UA vibes
The Kids from Yesterday - My Chemical Romance
This song just gives me like sad nostalgic vibes so I thought it fit well.
“... you only hear the music when your heart begins to break” the timer reaches the end and the ticking stops? Heartbreaking, that’s all
I Will Follow You into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
Another song thats just,, sad so it fits
“Love of mine, someday you will die” we knew from the start the the channel would literally die when the clock stopped,,
“It's nothing to cry about 'cause we'll hold each other soon / In the blackest of rooms” shut up I’m mourning someone hold my hand
“I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black” death goddess Amy vibes
I’ll Always Be Around - Waterparks
“If you died I'd hope you'd haunt me / Because you know I'd miss you bad” we all love UA so much!! And miss it a ton already
“I'd never I'd never I'd never get you off my mind” it’s always thinking about Unus Annus hours
Before You Go - Lewis Capaldi
There are multiple lyrics in this song that just make me remember we only have our memories of the channel left
“Our every moment, I start to replace / 'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say” the vids are replaced with only memories, replayed over and over
“Well, time can heal but this won't” I’ll be sad about this forever mind ur business
“But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face” the very last moment of the stream? Amy and Mark looking at the camera, Mark’s lil smile, Ethan looking back at the clock as the last few seconds tick by? AAAAH
Scarlet Cross - Black Veil Brides
Heard this and immediately reverted back to my middle school self but that’s beside the point.
“... you can't deny / The end is coming, the end is coming” we knew from the start that the channel would die
“Will we live? / Will we die? / Just keep on saving our goodbyes” There were points where people were theorizing that the channel wouldn’t actually end, there were clips near the end where the clock reversed by a few seconds, etc. need I say more?
“Hold onto me, and I can't let go” we’re all mourning, we didn’t want to say goodbye I know I’m not the only sad one
Body - Mother Mother
This song just SCREAMS Unus and Annus vibes I think we can all agree
“I've grown tired of this body / Fall apart without me, body” Unus and Annus are just entities using Ethan and Mark’s bodies,, they know their time is up so they have to leave,, the LORE it makes sense okay leave me alone
Here Comes the End - Gerard Way (ft Judith Hill)
At this point I’m just listing lyrics that I vibe with that remind me of UA and also make me sad but that’s because I’m dumb and I don’t know how to express myself or explain my thoughts oops
“The time is running out / The days are moving fast” literally every day after each video,, seeing the clock tick down? My HEART she hurt
“The clock is moving / Hands to midnight / Can we get through this?” For me, the stream ended right at midnight so THE VIBES I was sobbing
When Can I See You Again? - Owl City
“Switch on the sky and the stars glow for you / Go see the world 'cause it’s all so brand new” this lyric remind me of the vid where they were in the desert and they just looked at the stars and had a nice talk it was so wholesome I love them
“It's been fun but now I've got to go / Life is way too short to take it slow” Unus Annus is gone but we all have to remember to live, do what you want with no regrets.
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
This one is another pretty self explanatory one honestly
It’s also just a vibe like a lot of the other songs that’s all I have to say about it
Safe and Sound - Capital Cities
This song just radiates such good feelings man oof
Unus Annus felt like such a safe lil bubble for me?? Like,, Mark and Ethan did dumb shit because they WANTED TO I felt so validated like,, I also would do dumb shit if I could that probably makes no sense but I love them so it doesn’t matter
Happiest Year - Jaymes Young
This one absolutely BREAKS MY HEART
“I'm here to admit / That you were my medicine” yall,, UA was the only thing that kept me going and I'm not afraid to admit it
“Thank you for the happiest year of my life” literally the only thing that gave me serotonin oops :/
“So wake me up when they build that time machine / I want to go back” do I need to explain? Even though this year has been shitty irl, I would relive it in a heartbeat
The 3ND - Story Untold
I know this is a breakup song,, but hear me out
Some of the lyrics FIT and it’s my playlist I can do what I want shut up
“I never wanted what we had to end / But now it's over” once again,, no need to explain
“I know we had our dreams and we had plans… / That now it's time to let go” this just makes me think of the video where they talk about the video ideas they had but never filmed or just didn't post,, the CONTENT WE COULD'VE GOTTEN i'm sad
Still Remembering - AS IT IS
These boys.. My fave band of all time but also literally all their songs have immaculate vibes
“My heart's as heavy / As these nights are long” this gives me after the stream feels,, I stayed up way too long after it ended I couldn't sleep because I was sad :/
“Can you tell me what hurts more / Is it remembering or forgetting?” The whole chorus just hits me so hard man I'm so scared that I'm gonna forget unus annus because my brain is shitty even though I know I won't? I’m deadass getting a tattoo as soon as I can
Take Me Away - With Confidence
This song just makes me think about how UA was kind of an escape for me? And a lot of people yknow sometimes you just need to get your mind off of this happening around you and UA was really good for that in my opinion
The Night We Met - Lord Huron
Once again saying I would relive this year if I had the chance
Unus Annus was one of a kind, no one will ever be able to recreate it
Where’d All the Time Go? - Dr. Dog
A year sounds like such a long time but it goes by way too fast
Also I think Amy had this on her instagram story after the stream? I don't remember but THE VIBES
This December - Ricky Montgomery
Why do so many ricky montgomery songs have UA vibes? Idk
“Well, this December, I'll remember / Want you to see it when I do” UA ended in november,, we’ll remember in december and forever it FITS
“It’s just a little bit, It’s just a little bit / Lonely in this home / It’s always colder on your own'' honestly now that UA is gone there's like,, a void and I'm sad (I keep saying that but it's true so..)
When You Die - MGMT
Maybe this is the song Amy had in her story after the stream? Again,, I don’t remember
I think this one is also pretty self explanatory
Except I was feeling A LOT when the channel died but I’m glad the team was also kinda in their feels a bit yknow? It made me feel better about it
Good Times - All Time Low
“Underneath the stars we came alive / And singing to the sky just felt right / I won't forget the good times” once again,, that stargazing vid? IM CRYING all the vids gave me so much serotonin I loved them all and each day was such a good day
“I'll hate the goodbye” I don't need to explain..
“Middle fingers up, ego trip / Devil may care but we didn't mind” the chaotic vibes of the channel is what sucked me in I live for chaos that's what this lyric makes me think of
Goodnight, Travel Well - The Killers
I don't think I really need to explain this one because,, just listen to the song and you'll get it but I'll just list some fave lyrics of mine
“There's nothing I can say / There's nothing we can do now” end of the stream vibes for sure
“And all that stands between the souls release / This temporary flesh and bone / We know that it's over now” Unus and Annus vibes
Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery
This is one of the songs that I hear a lot in like edits I see on twitter and stuff associated with UA and I Get It the vibes are so good the song is so good I love it
“Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you / I need you here to stay” one of my fave lyrics and also just,, makes sense I miss UA
As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese
Another song that's in a lot of edits and stuff that's also,, amazing and MAKES SENSE the vibes!!
“And here it is, our final night alive” the STREAM
“You put your finest suit on / I paint my fingernails / Oh we're going out in style babe” Our boys,, Unus and Annus in the suits and eths painted nails? An absolute LOOK
I just love this song so much its so good and makes me so sad
The End. - My Chemical Romance
This song is just So Sad
And the heart monitor beeping in the beginning?? Reminds me of the clock ticking my heart is BROKEN
If you actually read all of this? I love you!! This was 6 pages so thank you for sticking through and listening to all of my dumb thoughts
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pink-hao · 4 years
Text
Love Me Right ~ p.cy
word count: 3.6k
warnings: really marshmallow, kinda angsty???, idefk
masterlist
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 It doesn’t feel right, waking up in a queen sized bed alone. The void feeling in your chest as you look out the little window where the distant sun peers through. He used to lay on the right side of the bed, head digging into his flattened out pillow with one hand on it and the other around your waist. You could swear you still feel his fingers wrapped around you, his faint snores that were quieted by the cushion under him. He loved the gray bed covers, and at one point you did too, but now they’re simply a sign of what used to be. It’s a quarter to 8 in the morning when you finally rise from your spot on the bed and go into the bathroom. 
 The hot shower is burning your skin, but it’s a particulary numb morning. As you rub the remnants of sleep from your eyes you dwell once again on the fact that it has been exactly 4 months since you broke up. Sometimes, you really hate being an idol. Your whole life is put on display and critiqued by everyone. Who cares if someone doesn’t love your boyfriend? You did, wasn’t that enough? But no, the fans hated you together. They didn’t think Chanyeol and you were “a good match.” Who were they to judge who your match was? They don’t know you like he did, don’t know him like you did. It was all so unfair and stupid.
  You got out of the shower when the water began to shift to an uncomfortably cooler temperature, continuing on with your morning routine and getting dressed to head over to practice. Your comeback is soon and now is more stressful than ever, learning all the dances for your songs and creating the music videos. The pressure is on this comeback, especially for you, because I helped write and produce the main track on the album and you really hope the fans like it. When you walk into the practice room today, the girls are already there waiting. The eight girls turn their heads and shuffle over to your side of the room, and before you know it, you’re being engulfed in a large yet tight group hug.
 “We know about today, babe. It’s okay to let it out if you have to.” said the eldest, Sun-Mi unnie.
 “You’re a super strong girl, unnie! You got this!” said maknae ChaeHee.
 “FIGHTING!” spoke your best friend, Minah. She was the first person that knew about you breakup with Chanyeol and she stuck by your side, letting you cry on her shoulder or sleep in her bed when you were alone. All eight girls are a family to you, but Minah is definetly your closest sister.
 “Maybe today won’t be as bad as you think it could be.” she continued.
 “We’ve been invited to a party! And I think we should go! It will help us loosen up and shake off our nerves for this comeback.” said Rosamie.
 “A party?,” you wondered nervously. “I don’t know about a party today unless you could count me alone on the couch watching Netflix as a party. Of one.”
 “Come on,” Minah stressed, tugging on your hand. “If you let this get the best of you now, how will you be in 6 months, a year, 2 years? Still miserable? You can’t let this pull you back, my love. Come with us, just tonight?” she exclaimed with a cute pouty face.
  You looked down at your red worn-out converse highs. She was right, you can’t be so weak as to let a breakup get in the way of living your life. Even though the breakup was with the best boyfriend you could ever ask for and you totally and obviously regret doing it in the first place. With that said, you decided to just try your best to forget about it all in one.
 “I guess we’re going out tonight?” you questioned, the smallest of smiles creeping up on your face as well as everyone else’s.
 “That’s my girl!” Nya, your leader, shouted.
 “See? We all knew that you were strong!” said Minah as she pulled you into another embrace.
 “Heck yea little mama we bouta get wasted tonight bitches! HAH!” said our maknae.
 “Excuse me? I didn’t hear that right, did I?” said Sun-Mi unnie. If looks could kill, ChaeHee would be six feet under right now. And with that, she dashed out of the practice room with Sun-Mi unnie following close behind and left seven girls laughing their asses off at the sight in front of them.
 “I’m nervous.”
 “Why?” Minah chortled while helping you with your eyeliner.
 “Who’s going to be there? I haven’t been to a party since we were together.” you sighed looking down at your black heels.
 “Not too many people, but it’s still a pretty formal get together. Tonight’s event doesn’t exactly scream ‘vans and ripped jeans,’ but it’s not too bad.” she explained. You looked in the mirror at what you had on. A sparkly black dress with a stacked necklace and a light face of makeup. This isn’t exactly how you wanted to spend your Saturday night.
 “You look great baby. Every guy in there is gonna have a hard time. Maybe you could relieve of that stress you got, you know?” she winked.
 “Eww,” you giggled. “You know I’m not into that though,” you replied with a slight blush.
 “Well, we’ll see. You haven’t seen the guys yet, right? The night is young, the booze will be there and so will we. For lack of better terms, let’s make this a night we will never remember. Or, one we’ll never forget? Depends on who you wake up next to.” she shrugged.
 “How could you be so serious about this stuff?” you laughed. “You deadass just implied that the only thing you’ll remember from tonight will be the guy you may or may not get lucky with.”
 “I’d bet you $20 you won’t get laid tonight,” she exclaimed, hands crossed over her chest.
 “You know you’d win! I told you already, I don’t just sleep around.”
 “Well what if you find someone you know?” she asked.
 “I-“
 There was a quick knock at the door and Nya came in with the smallest blue dress you’ve ever seen paired with black gladiator heels. Her now gray hair was curled slightly and makeup is done. Light, like yours, but still noticeable from the immense amount of highlight she always uses.
 “Are you guys ready to go?” she asked quirking a perfectly arched eyebrow.
 “Well, you seem eager. In more ways than one.” Minah tilted her head and took in all of Nya’s attire.
 “What does that mean?” Nya asked, putting her hands on her hips, which somehow managed to make her already crazy short dress ride up even more.
 “Not much, you just really put it all out there tonight, huh? Someone special coming to this little get together?” she smirked.
 “Someone like Taeyong?” you smiled knowingly. Nya’s little crush on the leader of NCT wasn’t exactly hidden. And neither were his reciprocated feelings. “He’ll surely be the one having a ‘hard time’ tonight.”
 “Oh shut it. Let’s just go,” she said with a small smile and flushed cheeks. Minah and you just looked at each other knowingly and got your stuff to go.
 The room was hot and full of sweaty bodies by the time you arrived. Taeyong was the first to notice us, or Nya for that matter. While the rest of us got a quick hi, Nya got an all too friendly hug from the eager redhead. Here you are at the bar, looking over at the crowd of dancing idols, seeing some of them get very friendly with each other, a stark difference from how they act in the public eye. You wonder if you and Chanyeol came off like that at places like this. Before you got carried away with your thoughts, you felt a tapping on your shoulder.
 “Somebody sitting here?” asked Jackson, one of your best friends.
 “Jackson! Hey handsome, how are you? It’s been too long. How was your tour?” you asked, pulling him into an embrace.
 “It was good. I love my fans and my group, but I need a drink right now. Want somethin’?” he asked, calling the bartender over.
 “Uh, yea definitely. Patron please, make it a double.” you call out.
 “Same for me,” he said to the guy. “Double? We stressin’ tonight? You got a comeback soon too, yea?” he wondered.
 “Yep, and I wrote and produced the main track. Stress is an understatement in the feelings department right now.” you replied.
 “Damn, and I guess it doesn’t help that you know who is here too, huh?” he asked with a guilty look.
 “Wait, what? Who’s here?” you asked genuinely lost.
 “Um, Chanyeol? he said half-confused, taking half his shot of Patron before putting it back down.
  You felt like you were going to throw up. Did the girls know? Did everyone know but you? What if he was already with someone? What if you look like a fool, or a desperate bitch trying to get anyone you can now that he’s out of your hands? You took your shot and gulped it down, but realized the double wasn’t enough and grabed the remnants of Jackson’s drink.
 “Woah. Slow down! We don’t want you passing out or worse, looking like a fool in front of everybody. You know, he-“
 “Please, I don’t want to know. I’m sorry Jackson, I gotta get out of here like, right now. I’m sorry, tell the girls I left? Love you lots, let’s catch up one of these days.” And with that, you began weaving your way through the crowd of people. From the corner of your eye, you saw Minah and Changkyun getting very cozy. And by cozy, you mean that their tounges were down each other’s throats. You were happy for her, she seemed to be having a good time. God knows you’ll hear every little detail tomorrow, whether you want to or not.
 As you got outside, you hailed for a cab to no avail until you saw a tall lanky guy getting into one with ease. So you decided it was either now or never to get out of here, so you followed the guy into the cab. When you asked him if he minded he simply shrugged, not even turning to face your way. You closed the door and told the driver your apartment building number and at that, the tall stranger turned his head and you finally knew who you were in the car with.
 “Namjoon?”
 “Hey! It’s been forever! You.. you look beautiful.” he said looking down and giving his heartstopping dimple smile. “How are you? What did you leave the party for? It only just started like, an hour ago.” he questioned.
 “Not feeling the best honestly. Besides, there weren’t too many people I wanted to hang with and I’d just rather be home alone doing nothing. Anyways, why are you leaving so soon? Like you said, the party only just started.” you retorted.
 “Can I be honest?”
 “Of course Joonie.”
 “Lalisa is there. She honestly makes me so nervous. She is so beautiful and smart and talented.” he answered. “I’d rather go home than choke up in front of her.” he frowned.
 “Oh, Joons. Babe, look, if you don’t try someday, how will you ever say she’s yours? You can’t. When you want something, you just have to go for it, no matter how difficult. Anything can happen, everything is possible. She turns you down, there are literally millions of other girls that love and adore you. But that’s like a one in a million chance anyway, Jooniebug. You are an awesome guy and she’s a great girl. You two would be a truly astonishing couple. I ship it.” you smiled.
 “Do you know how cool you are? Like really? That Chanyeol is a really lucky guy to have you. I wish you both the best of luck, you two are something really special together.” he beamed. You think he realized his mistake when he saw your smile fall at the comment regarding you two.
 “I thank you Joons, but,” you hesitated, “Yeol and I.. we aren’t together anymore.”
 “I’m so sorry, what happened? I thought you two had a future and..” he trailed off.
 “Its okay, really. I mean I did too but.. things change I guess? I don’t know. The fans didn’t think it was real and before we knew it, we were asked to end things. We lived together and did everything together. I walked around and saw my shadow as two people, and now I feel empty. It’s been four months. I shouldn’t be feeling this anymore. He’s probably at that party with some pretty new girl wrapped around his shoulder. God knows there were so many others that wanted him.” you rolled your watery eyes looking away from Namjoon so he couldn’t see your glassy eyes.
 “If you need anything, you know I’m here for you. You’re my girl! All of Bangtan loves you. And as for boyfriends, oh, Jimin is free! He’s sweet, cuddly, and a little clingy sometimes. But he’ll love you like there’s no tomorrow and support your every single move.” he joked, hopefully, as you chuckled and blinked away the tears that threatened to spill mere moments ago.
 “I love you Joon. You know that?” you said with a small smile.
 “Love you too. This is your stop, yea?” he questioned pointing out the window when the cab came to a stop.
 “Yes. I thank you for letting me into your cab, hope you have a good night, and I really encourage you to try things with Lalisa. She would love you so much!” you grinned.
 “I think I’m going to try it. I thank you so much for everything, and we must catch up more very soon! Goodnight!” Joon beamed.
 “Night Joons!” you hollered whilst getting out of the compact.
 As you turned around and walked down to you building I saw yet another tall figure leaned up against the wall. This guy was clad with a dark hood and black skinny jeans, which were paired with black vans. The stature of the outsider looked so familiar you could almost recognize who it was just by their stance. Almost. But he couldn’t be here, he was at the party. Your heart ran a marathon in your chest, ready to either fly up into your throat or slip down your stomach if it was who you thought it had been. As you neared the stranger, he turned his head.
 “Dean?”
 “Hey girl,” he replied pulling you into a quick embrace. “I just came to tell you something. It’s from Zico, he wanted me to tell you that he is expecting a call soon. He can’t wait to get in the booth with you, and I can’t wait to hear whatever y’all two got cooking up because I already know it’s something I’m gonna love.” he smirked.
 “Aww, thanks, babe. You want coffee or something? Why aren’t you at the big ass party down on Fifth?” you wondered.
 “I’m actually headed over there right now. You coming with me?” he quirked an eyebrow.
 “Just came back from there. You know parties aren’t my scene. It’s better for me to stay here. But I’ll see you around yea?” you smiled knowingly and pulled him into another quick embrace before he agreed and we parted ways.
 I finally got out of those damned jeans and the way-too-tight excuse for a shirt and pulled on my favorite pajamas. They were a simple royal blue satin duo that Chanyeol got for you on your 3 month anniversary. They weren’t anything sexy, because neither of you were really into that stuff, and you had at least two pairs that looked almost exactly the same, but you loved them more than any other pair for obvious reasons. After you got your makeup off and put to make your popcorn, you finally sat on your couch and turned on your beloved Netflix when you heard a knock at the door. As you got up and wandered to the door you wondered who it could possibly be. Haven’t you seen and spoken to everyone today? At least that’s what it felt like. You sighed looking at my bare feet as you opened the door and raised your head to see who it could be.
  You didn’t think you would see him.
  You were left speechless when you saw Chanyeol at your door after 4 months of being apart. It felt foreign to see him come into the apartment we once shared so happily. He too must’ve felt the strange sense of nostalgia as he took a seat on the couch opposite mine. The quiet quickly escalated into awkwardness as we were both unsure of what to say to the other after so long.
 “I-“ he began.
 “Why did you come here? Why today? Why now? Why not stay at the party?” I asked in a rush of questions. Your heart once again faltered at the many ideas rushing through your head.
 “I’m sorry. I’m an idiot, to be honest. I don’t even know why I came here today of all days.” he announced, avoiding my gaze altogether and looking down at his favorite pair of Air Jordans.
 “You don’t know why you came? you inquired.
 “I-“ he repeated, biting his lip and finally meeting my eyes for the first time. You took the time to scan his awe-inspiring face for the first time in what feels like forever. The bags under his eyes were more prominent than ever, his hair looked all tousled as if he had been running his hand through it for days on end. He sat with a bit of a slouch and looked almost like he was about to cry.
 “You don’t know how much I missed you. I’m still in love with you. I will always be in love with you. I don’t care who doesn’t like us together because I can’t live without you.“ he began. You couldn’t tell at that moment if your heart skipped a beat or just stopped altogether. He took your silence as a cue to continue.
"I know I waited a long time to tell you, hell, you’re so beautiful that I almost know that you’ve moved on for sure from my bum ass and I look like an idiot right now. But on the off chance that what I just said was wrong, and you still love me as much as I love you, I’m here right now to ask for your love and appreciation in my life again. I can’t explain in words the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I wake up every day and realize that you aren’t there next to me. That I won’t see your face or make you smile and laugh. That I can’t cuddle with you or see you wearing my Supreme hoodie that you said you loved because it smells the most like me out of all of my sweaters.” he cracked, watching your every move. You were tempted to look away so he couldn’t see your glossy eyes, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of the stunning man in your living room professing his undying love for you.
 “I-” it was your turn to pause as I finally looked down at the white fur rug that coated the floor.
 “I never stopped thinking about you. I never stopped wondering how you were, if you missed me if you were with someone else and if this would ever happen.” you looked back up at him.
 “I don’t know what to say.”
 “Take me back. I promise you, I will never let them get in our way again. I can show you more affection, take you out more, anything you want. I just need you by my side.” he spoke lowly, standing up and coming closer. He held out a hand for you to get up and join him once again.
 “Please. I love you,” he spoke in a throaty whisper, choking back tears.
Once you got up and stretched on your toes to reach his still towering face better, I whispered, “I love you, Park Chanyeol.”
  Your lips met with an urgent passion but maintained a long, loving touch. The kind that builds over time and is created by two people that aren’t only in a relationship based off of lust, but love and affection as well. as the kiss deepened, Chanyeol pulled you up and rested your legs on either side of his waist, bringing you to the bedroom.
 The rest of the night was filled with many overdue kisses and stolen touches, amongst other things. The morning after, You were awakened so rudely yet again by your alarm. A quarter to 8, you thought. You looked to your right and were welcomed with the seemingly foreign sun seeping more powerfully through the window than it had been in the past weeks. But what really got you was a rather familiar hand laying over your waist and a pretty boy next to you with his head digging into the pillow and his low yet perceptible snores.
“I love you, Park Chanyeol,” you said once more, raking your fingers through his hair cautiously not to wake him up before you got up and started your routine. ‘Today is going to be different, and so is every other day after this,’ you thought to yourself, smiling.
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20. Part 3
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I can’t believe that they all kicked us out because of sex, I mean that is the issue, which is kind of funny but also rude, I don’t even think we are loud, it’s mostly Robyn that is. She is bad, and I can imagine she will be hopefully tonight “you know I am your wife now Chris, you got to treat me like one. What I mean by that is you got to tell me about things, and also you got to be careful about these girls when you get back to Cali, that is my concern now, I am concerned that you have pathetic friends but you’re married now. Chris if you cheat on me you won’t ever see me again” looking over at Robyn, she is being deadass about this “risk losing you and my daughter? Nah, nothing is worth that. I have chosen you over everything Robyn, don’t worry. I ain’t going to cheat or anything, do you not trust me?” I thought she was joking but she is not smiling “I trust you, but if you so happen to have drugs and you pass out, like I know you can, you would be none the wiser. If there are stories coming out too, I am going to be hurt. Don’t do me like that and don’t do drugs, I am your happy space and I’m ok with that but Chris I won’t be there” shaking my head “I am going Cali; sorting shit out and I am coming back to you. Likewise for you too, I don’t want you to be texting Drake, I hate Drake again you know” Robyn snorted laughing “what don’t people get, Drake likes me. I don’t like him; he is fucking corny and I laugh at him. He would jump if I said it to him, he’s been awfully quiet now, but I don’t like him like that. He was a rebound and now he’s a creep. They all want him to be the dad, I would never. I am happy with you, but honestly. Don’t hate him, he has nothing on you, I just side eye him” Robyn laughs at it but I hate him “see what I mean, it’s like he has hurt you too and upset you but I am the bad one, I think everyone including me thought Drake was the dad” Robyn shook her head “I just don’t want you to think I will accept shit, I won’t. I do see you are being real with me though, tired of that life now?” nodding my head “hell yes, surprised I ain’t dead. Whippets was kicking my ass, not going to lie. Sometimes I miss it, I do want it but then I see you” I grinned “and I am not there Chris, it’s a big test you know. But I trust you, remember that? Just not the people around you” I can understand where she is coming from with this, I don’t trust my friends at all.
Sighing out “how do you think my family are going to react? Like you know them somewhat so tell me how you think they will react?” I asked Robyn, she does know them somewhat, but I am wondering what they will be like “hmmm, good question. I think you will get the ones that dislike me, I think you will have the ones happy for you. But your mom is not how I remembered her to be Chris, she was so sweet. I am not sure, maybe she might take it well and be happy for you. What do you think?” Robyn asked me “I feel my mom will be telling me I will fuck this up, what about my other kids. I am not capable of being a father” I laughed “how can she say that when she made you the way you are? Honestly, Chris, I think you do your best. With time and some loving you will be fine, all you needed was support and she couldn’t give that. I think with Joyce, she has given up on you and doesn’t know what to do and as a mother she may just be fed up with you. But Chris, you’re my husband and I won’t take any shit for anyone with you, I won’t let them put you down like that, you can be a good father. I am not having Joyce near my child if she thinks that. Like we are going to raise our child and my mom would be the same, she would tell me you popped the baby out so get on with it but if I needed it she would help me. I uhm, I think they will be happy for you. Maybe not like that you are with me most of the time, they like to keep you close, I know that” Robyn is right “I am moving to you” I said “but Chris you can always be there and go back of course, what about your kids? I think you need to move it around a little bit, first of all you haven’t even tested out London. I got a whole house there now, I will be mad” I chuckled “I know, I am going to kick off if I can’t you know” Robyn side eyed me “no you don’t, you then go to another country and then you wait there. No drama now, we have to overcome these things together. I will come to you” nodding my head but not happy.
The car journey got my ass numb as fuck “they really trying to get rid of us, like we way out now” I said looking out of the window “good, we get some peace but honestly Chris. You do trust me right?” Robyn asked “with my life I do” smiling at her “that means a lot, everything I do will always have you in mind. If I can help you while helping myself then I will” Robyn knows that I do “you don’t need to do that but thank you. Just everything gets taken from me, like my family be using my shit like I don’t mind it but when you don’t treat me right then it gets to me, my mom opened her clothing line and then started selling my things on the side to get sales, Black Pyramid have been taken over by my family and they made money out of it. Look, I don’t mind it but then they are taking me for advantage when they are disrespecting me on the low, but if I say something I look the bad one and I have bipolar. They always bring it up” Robyn frowned, she reached over holding my hand “let it go” she said, “let what go?” I questioned “the clothing line, let it go and cut ties. Once the fans see that they will not fuck with it, if they don’t fuck with you and give you the respect then do it. I did it with my dad because he didn’t give me the respect I deserved. When we got married we created a whole new identity for us both, maybe we can do something together or whatever, but you know. I think maybe it’s good that you need to be back in Cali also because being with me every day probably is not going to be good for your mental state” Robyn laughed but I don’t think it is funny “or you want me to not be near you, I ain’t ever going to leave you alone. I told you I pick you over everyone, I actually love you even more because you actually picked me over everyone too, you didn’t care for others” I am so happy that Robyn did that “it’s about us now, your people are going to hate me even more” I shrugged not caring for what they think.
“Did I tell you that I am deciding on a water birth now?” Robyn did mention that, but I didn’t take notice “uhhh what is that? Why don’t you just have a baby in a hospital, that’s like normal. What exactly is a water birth and are you making life hard?” turning to Robyn in the seat, Robyn laughed and I know that laugh because she is making things hard when it can be simple “let me show you” Robyn is laughing, I know her and she is being difficult “I would never make life hard thank you, I am reading into it and I think the idea is better. I will be at home too, and it’s private for me because like ok the hospital is the best but I can be at home” Robyn turned her phone to me “wait, the baby is drowning?” pulling a face “oh nah, that is full of blood, who going to see that!?” I spat “move your phone” turning my head “Maurice Brown! Excuse me, that is you that will be seeing this! And no the baby doesn’t drown stupid, the baby is in fluid now. When it gets delivered it will be fine. It’s better for me too and more relaxing but knowing you, you will make it the least bit relaxing. Why are you pulling a face!? Chris, you will be seeing this” Robyn is deadass with this “uh, yeah ok. With a blindfold on, ayo I saw a man in the water with the woman in those Google pictures? I mean that must be weird to be that close” Robyn mean mugged me “you’re banned now, I don’t even want you there. I think you are going to be useless for me” I laughed shaking my head “I will be there but that looks scary” not going to lie, that is scary.
Walking onto the private balcony, this place is so nice, like the peace right now I am feeling. We have direct ocean views, like I can see the ocean under my feet from the clear flooring, this is amazing, but I can imagine how expensive it must have been for them. As soon as I got onto the bungalow I took my top off, cause it’s still hot as hell out here even though the sun is setting. Downing the wine from the glass and placing the glass on the ledge and getting my phone out from my pocket, Robyn thinks I won’t be there for her but I will be the first one there to support her but this is a scary thing to happen, I mean I will see a baby come out of her, it’s also scary because when Robyn said anything could happen, I don’t want anything to happen to her. Putting my camera on and holding my hand up to the sunset which blocked it out, showing off my wedding band from Robyn. Taking the picture of it, looking down at the picture, dope picture actually. Posting it up on Instagram and captioning it ‘Married to myself LIFE! Really Rubbish Feeling Bih’ I sniggered to myself, those letters but let me post this, pressing send smiling to myself jumping at a pair of arms snaking around me “scared me there” I said, her bump pressing right against my back. It is cute, she is cute. Feeling her lips kissing on my back, I think maybe someone is wanting sex.
Stuffing my phone in my pocket turning to Robyn “woah!” I spat, she changed “that better be a good woah” my eyes widened, Robyn out here with some sexy ass lingerie “you know how crazy suspenders make me, oh my god! Fucking beautiful” placing my hand over my heart “I am shook, like you look so good” Robyn smirked “well come on then” she grabbed my hand, the air got caught in my throat when Robyn turned around and seeing her booty out, she out here wearing sexy lace “oh this is going to be good” I said smiling, walking back into the room “well I am not going to not have sex with you, we need to do the deed but being married now. Which is weird now” biting on my bottom lip as Robyn turned to me, the back of my hand lightly stroking her cheek. My hand travelled down to her neck, my hand around Robyn’ neck loosely and I moved in for a kiss, my lips on hers, slow and sensual. Robyn put her arms around my neck, kissing me back. It is a different feeling, this is my wife now, this is all so different now. My free hand slid up and placed it behind her back, touching her bare skin. I didn’t rush the kiss, because I have a lifetime with this woman so I can take my time but I ended up smiling against her lips, moving back from the kiss “I love you” kissing Robyn’ cheek and moving back “you know like when we have sex, it’s always like we race. We rush because we don’t know if we would do it again, this is different. I feel it, I really do” Robyn cooed out “I feel the shift in energy for us, so much love” she looked down and pressed a kiss onto my chest “we have nothing to rush for anymore” she is right we don’t.
We kissed passionately, and Robyn reached down between us and grabbed my dick through my pants, moving back looking at Robyn, she smirked and leaned up to me and kissed me again, slowly and teasingly this time, she unbuttoned my pants with her hands and tugged my pants down and then started on my boxers. She started to slide my boxers off my thighs, moving back from the kiss “let me” I said smiling, pushing down the rest of my boxers “come here” Robyn yelped out fully not expecting me to pick her up and wrap her around my waist “I didn’t think you could, oh wow. My Husband” Robyn moaned out, I grinned because she isn’t heavy, but she does weigh a little more. I would throw her on the bed but she is pregnant so I gently put her on the bed “have fun tonight” kissing the bump laughing “mhmm, give me it” I gently pushed her knees apart but she willingly opened herself to me. Chewing on my bottom lip, hooking my finger and moving her thong to the side “wow” she looks good, I mean her P though. I reached out a single finger and slid it up her slit, caressing her inner folds and dragging it across the nub of her clit. I brought the coated finger to my lips and sucked the juice from it “mhmm” I said, she taste good.
I thought to myself that I was likely to drown, but I didn't care. I got on my knees and planted my face firmly in the cleft of her thighs. My tongue travelled up her slit, scooping out the sweet nectar. I played my tongue back and forth across the swollen lips of her pussy, sucking each one into my mouth and nibbling on them as I went. I licked her clean of juices and finally buried my tongue as deeply into her as it would go. Robyn gasped, crushing myself into her, trying to get my tongue deeper inside. I firmly ran my tongue over her entire pussy. I slide my hands under her to cup her ass, massaging them as I licked her. Her hips began to gyrate, and she started to moan wildly. When I began to flick her clit with my tongue, she started clenching convulsively “Oh yeah Chrisss” she moaned “fuck” I licked her clit as fast as I could “oh my god!” she spat, I clamped my mouth over her clit and sucked it hard into my mouth “oh shit, oh shit!” Robyn screamed out as she came, I opened my mouth wider and sucked her lips into my mouth along with her clit and let my tongue dance over everything. Robyn’ thighs clamped down around his head and her legs crossed behind me to hold me in place as she rode my tongue through am orgasm.
She finally released me, and I sighed out “thunder thighs, near killed me!” I spat, breathing out heavily falling onto the bed next to Robyn “that was so good” Robyn seems in a daze, I mean my tongue game is good. Licking the side of my lips, I can taste her still. Robyn turned onto her side and pulled me to her and into a deep kiss, her tongue plunging into my mouth, licking my lips, and her lips sucking the juices from my chin “you tasting yourself?” I said smiling as she moved back with a smirk “I taste good” I smirked, I love this woman so much softly caressing her pregnant bump before getting up off of the bed, and stood at the end of the bed, my dick standing erect. Robyn also got up off of the bed, but she is so cute getting up, her bump be getting in the way “what you doing?” I said, she knelt at the end on her hands and knees, her face inches from my dick. She leaned forward and took my dick in her mouth, I sighed as her lips glided over the head of my sick. Robyn backed off and slowly licked around the head of my dick. Robyn then looked into my eyes and placed her lips against my dick. Her lips closed tightly and fought to keep her mouth closed as she forced my hard dick past her lips, the saliva making them slid firmly and easily over. She kept the pressure firm and began to bop her head on my dick “everyman’s dream, my god!” I spat struggling to control myself, Robyn is trying to not laugh but I am being deadass
Robyn couldn’t help herself and pulled back “shut up” she said “not a lie, my god. Like I think I am going to blow” Robyn placed my dick back in her mouth and resumed her sucking, keeping her wet lips tight and working the head of my dick with her tongue on every thrust. Faster and faster, her right hand gently squeezing my balls. The lust in her eyes combined with the sight of my dick invading her mouth was too much for me. I came that nearly buckled my knees, Robyn closed her eyes and moaned around my dick, sucking every last drop from me “uhhhh fuck!” I half shouted, breathing out heavily. My head back with my eyes closed, her mouth is everything and more. Looking down at Robyn, she licked her lips with the biggest smirk on her face “I am not worthy of you” I said as I pulled her up to me and kissed her deeply, navigating Robyn back onto the bed being as gentle as I can.
I reached up and grabbed a pillow then pushed it under her lower back “I need to make sure you’re comfortable” Robyn poked her lips out at me “you are so caring about me, but when I am not pregnant that is a different story” she pointed, she know damn well I would be having Robyn all over these sheets. I grinned seeing that the pillow lifted her pussy up towards me at the perfect level. I lifted her legs until her knees were on my shoulders, thighs spread a bit wider to accommodate her bump. I looked into her eyes as I moved my dick to sit between her pussy. With a slow thrust forward I entered her, smoothly and slowly. Robyn is so wet that my dick slid home easily until I was buried into her. She let out a moan as I filled her. I stayed still for a moment, revelling in the warmth, bordering on hotness. I began to move in and out of her, surprised at the tightness of her, given the massive amount of lubricant she was producing. Still her body enveloped me firmly yet offered no resistance as I moved slowly in and out of her. Robyn looked up at me, her mouth slightly parted. I increased my pace just a bit and smiled at the wet sound Robyn is making with each thrust “fuck me, you are wet” Robyn pressed her lips into a hard line “you’re making me shy” Robyn said “be quiet, this is amazing!” I spat, began to pump into her a little faster and Robyn’ eyes flared, her breathing ragged.
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dhdingo · 3 years
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I know this probably goes for a lot of people and I'm not special or anything but... This pandemic is ruining my life.
It's bad enough I was hospitalized and nearly died (not even from the virus but from asthma triggered by the ammonium chloride they're spraying as a sanitizer, followed by low potassium that nearly caused a fatal cardiac event) and now I'm living on 1/3 income disability payments with excess medical bills because I have to see pulmonology and cardiology specialists for the next 9 months to fix the damage done to my fucking lungs while knowing damn well if I do catch the virus at this point my chances of survival are... not good :^)
And my partner can't quarantine to keep me safe or we'll starve and someone goes out with covid once a week at our workplace so eeeyyyyyyy. Ive... literally never been this scared. It's at the point where my emotional cortex has literally shut off and I just feel numb all the time. My brain deadass just gave up after coming out of the hospital tbh.
I wish America could handle a pandemic like reasonable adults, I feel like Im living in a twilight zone themed sitcom and nobody's laughing anymore.
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Jojo Dreamlog #7
V1(1st person)     V2(3rd person)
I had this dream and I woke up so sad. I didn’t cry, but this shit made me HURT. And when I went to write it out, I deadass cried for 30 minutes straight because a wave of sadness just crashed into me :,,,) pls don’t judge me lmao
The environment looks like something out of blues clues, but more like a fairytale pop-up book. We’re at my elementary school (my sister and I but we’re elementary age now like just about everyone else there) and it’s a boarding school. This school didn’t look like just a public school though, there was a part that was red velvet walls and high class decoration like an mansion made a couple years before 2000 with a casino-rich-people-dining-hall feel. It’s not just a dining room and it’s also used for classes and testing and conferences. 
I’m in a class conference with other students. I’m called on, but I don’t want to be there and I don’t want to comply; I resist. I can tell I hate being here. Sensing my resistance, someone makes an excuse to get the both of us to leave early. I’m grateful for this, but my childish mind didn’t want assistance, I wanted to make a point! But now all there is are my confusion and tired apathy for being in this school.
The one who got us excused is a younger version of Bruno. I know that he’s  been nice to me since we’ve been here. I couldn’t tell why though, and it bugs me. What does he want? I try not to be rude to him while we walk down the hall since I feel grumpy and conflicted about what he’s done. He’s talking to me--it’s just small talk--but I give quick and straightforward replies. Can’t you tell I don’t want to talk to you?. He’s always smiling around me and I never know why. I want to know why! But I just can’t come up with anything, nothing he does ever makes sense to me. Doing what he can to be around me, a smile on his face, but I’ve never smiled for him. Never at him, never with him, never because of him. 
This place doesn’t bring me the joy; or really, the kind of joy I want it to. I’ve made friends and I stick by my sister; I’m responsible for her. In our shared room we laugh and talk with our roommate. My sister seems happy enough, but I know deep inside that its superficial. This school is superficial and I don’t trust anyone. Regardless I still try to open up, even just the smallest bit, because I want to feel close friendship to someone, anyone, and not have to feel alone even with the plethora of people surrounding me. I look towards to door and just briefly see Bruno pass by.
As days move on, they feel weird to me. You’re around me more and more and I seem to begin to appreciate you. It suits you now, to always have a smile on your face, and to see you more than once everyday. I still don’t get you, but you’re no longer unwelcomed. Maybe, maybe this is what it is, maybe I’ve found joy? But it’s stripped from me as soon as I begin to understand. Because you’re going away soon. Too soon. I don’t understand why. Where are you going? Why are you leaving? Why do you have to leave? Was it not enough to stay with us? Was someone making you leave? Where are you going?
We’re signing a card for you, preparing special things for you, because you’re going away soon. That’s what they keep telling me, every time I ask. You’re even getting a party! So it’s supposed to be a good thing you’re leaving, right? Then why do I not feel happy for you? You’re leaving all of us. I don’t know why, but I don’t want you to. 
You prepared a card for me as well. But why? It’s your party! It’s a you day! Why do you always make everything about me? Why do you keep doing this?!
When you tell me, I almost done believe you. You have to repeat it again because I didn’t respond. I don’t understand! What else am I supposed to do? I’m frozen and confused, stuck staring at you in disbelief.
You’re dying and you’re sick, but not in a way that changed your ways. You’re leaving tomorrow. I don’t want you to. I want you to stay but I know you can’t and I don’t know what to do with myself. I miss you already even though you’re right in front of me. I’m a child, I want you to stay right where you are and never change. I can’t accept what I know now and cry in front of you. Why do you have to go? How did this happen? Why can’t anything be done about it? You try to comfort me, but the pain is too much so I run. I can’t bear the pain of being so close to you but being so close to losing you as well. I have to stay far away so the pain won’t hurt me. 
This distance helps and I’m becoming more numb, but it doesn’t stop the thoughts of you from flooding my mind. I don’t want to accept reality, and maybe, magically, it’ll change. Everything that’s supposed to happen will change, because it will! It always does for fairytale happy endings.
My sister and I are on a walk when I know you’re final moments are reaching near. What’s going to happen when you’re gone? Do you want me there with you? Did I do the right thing? Everything comes crashing down on me in realization and I know I have to go back. I have to be there for you when you need me, I want to see you again before you go. I’ve cared about you from the very beginning without even knowing it and that I’ve love everything about you. even though it never made sense to me. I want you to stay and be with me like it was before. Please let me be with you even though I haven’t done you any good. I have to give back what you gave to me. I love you and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.
I can only hope I make it in time, I can see you in the distance, I call your name and you’re looking right at me. You’re waiting there for me. I can tell I don’t have long, I’m almost there. Just a couple more feet...
“Thank you for everything”, you smile and fade away.
“I love you!”
I call even though I missed you by seconds. I loved everything about you but never gave you back what you gave to me and it’s too late now. I can’t do anything, just like I have the entire time, but I know it’s pointless to cry and agonize over what is done. I miss you so much and it hurts me, but I loved you and you’ll live on with me forever.
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tinyteenieateez · 3 years
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Part 2 😗✌🏽Don’t do drug y’all.
Eventually, we made it to Best Buy and at this point, it hit me so I was all over the place. I felt great 😂. So we enter the store and went to the laptop section. I started to be more talkative and giggly, and I couldn’t stay still for nothing, I kid you not. I found this whole situation funny cause I’m usually the mature one and yet I’m acting like a fool in Best Buy. B had to make sure I wasn’t talking loud, always reminding me we’re in a public place, and I really felt bad that he had to babysit us (mostly me 🙃) so I kept apologizing to him even though he said it was fine. Also I kept telling him stories/random facts about me, like how I got a scar on my hand and etc. His response to them was like “That’s nice.” “Interesting.” “Oh really?” “Wow.” 😂, he was honestly done with me. So back to where I couldn’t stay still. While Naya and B were looking at laptops, I was moving around, dancing or whatever cause I couldn’t feel my legs. I’m deadass, my leg was numb I guess? Like I could still feel them but at the same time, I couldn’t. Don’t ask. Then Naya came up to me and said “Yo, I don’t know about you but I feel like I’m playing GTA.” And I’m like “What? 😂” “Yeah~ like it’s like I’m playing myself, yk how you control the character? yeah that’s me right now. It’s so weird.” I was just laughing at her. At one point we were dancing to the shitty music that stores be playing. B look at us and shook his head in disappointment, he was so done with us. Soon, we stop dancing and started talking about how we’re feeling atm. Naya was like “So am I the only one who’s horny?” I look at her like 😃 tf? “Wow, so it’s just me then?” “Yeah 😂” “this is so weird, it’s like I’m me but I’m not me? Like how does that make senses? “🤷🏽‍♀️ Idk but mood. 😂” something in between those lines. So then we left Best Buy and went to Target, on our way down, I was talking and Naya said to me. “Shhh, stop yelling.” I said “But I’m not yelling though..?” Then B said. “Yeah, She’s not yelling, Naya.” “Oh, she ain’t? My bad, I must be bugging.” I laugh at her, finding everything funny lol.
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isthisthingeven0n · 6 years
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more than clickbait: part two
part one - enjoy! requests are slowly being worked through :)
brief summary: you have always been used for clickbait, and have never minded. until one day, David realises that you are more than just clickbait to him
* masterlistin’ / masterlistin’ 2.0
(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website know it hasn’t been approved me unless specified. all rights reserved. - i have to start doing this as I had some shit on my other blog with plagiarism)
Checking my phone I can’t see the notification. The chat remains silent for once. 
I open my laptop, knowing it is his usual upload time about now. 
Kristen walks in as I type in YouTube and suddenly she yells. I glance up to see her run over and slam my laptop down. “Fucking hell, you could’ve taken my fingers off.” I roll my eyes and she exhales loudly. 
She falls into the sofa next to me, and then she puts her serious face on. “Have you gotten in touch with your ex?” 
“No.” I simply state, and I see relief wash over her expression. “Why? You know something I don’t?” Raising my eyebrow to her she turns her eyes away from me, averting eye contact. 
Moving closer to her I watch her movements carefully, how she leans back attempting to act too casual about this knowledge that she is hiding from me. 
“Kristen?” I ask, and she sighs loudly. 
She leans forward, grabbing a hold of my laptop and keeps it close to her chest. “It’s just, David’s new video is a bit of a surprise.” 
In response to my silence, she places the laptop down and plays the video for me. 
Initially, it’s just like another David vlog, but then it’s the other day when he was running out of ideas. I watch with a hesitant smile on my face as I feel Kristen's eyes carefully monitoring my movements, my reactions. 
David pauses on me, smiling. He’s using his voiceover voice and then the camera is on him in his room. 
He allows it to play us kissing, and watching it back I feel warm inside. I can feel the faint pressure of his lips on mine, how I couldn’t stop giggling afterwards as I kissed David. Something I hadn’t seen coming, nor ever anticipated in that way. 
“She thought the entire thing was for the clickbait, but it goes so much deeper than that.” My eyes widen as I turn to face Kristen who looks at me seriously.
I hit pause. “This isn’t some kind of a prank?” She shakes her head and reaches for my hand. “Deadass?” 
She nods again and resumes the video. I’m squeezing her hand, I have become numb, unsure what this is or my own feelings. 
He looks confused, nervous, tired. But he looks directly into the lens as he takes a deep breath. It feels as if he is talking to me, not to the world. That he’s on the other end of a FaceTime call, not a video for anyone to see. 
“When we first met I knew she was something else. And I don’t want this to get all cute and shit so I’ll keep this brief.” 
I smile to myself, knowing the time when we first met. I’d been here for a while living with my boyfriend. David was making vines and he knew me on there. We started talking, we met up and made a few ‘couple’ vines. 
Instantly I knew I wanted him in my life. I needed someone with the energy and ability to make me smile like he could, like my ex couldn’t. 
He fidgets with his hands on his lap, and I can see his smile growing as he clears his throat. “Y/n, I, I think I’m in love with you. And, and I just wanted you to know that. I wouldn’t put this out there for everyone to see if it wasn’t true. So, yeah.” He nervously laughs to himself and leans forward. 
I lean forward as he does, I need more, but there are seconds left on the video.  “Not sure what else to say, I guess if you see this video let me know?”
The camera goes black, and his outro plays. 
My mouth remains ajar and I watch as Kristen closes the lid, leaving us in silence. “Y/n?” Kristen touches my shoulder lightly, and I snap out of my daze. 
“I didn’t imagine that whole thing, right?” I ask and she shakes her head. I resue looking at my closed laptop, “Okay.” 
We stay silent for a minute, both of us without words to share. 
In my head, I think back to every time we’ve been together these past few months. Getting food in the middle of the night, snuggling in our pj's as we would watch a film, him calling me to come over to film as everyone else is out. How I would choose to call him for help over everyone else. 
I rise to my feet and grab my car keys. “I need to go see David.” I state and head for the door. 
Kristen cheers me on in the background. “That’s my girl!” 
*
Parking outside of his house I climb out of the car and walk up the drive to his door. I ring the bell and as I hear someone on the other side I realise I have no plan. 
I’m frozen as the door opens, and Joe smiles. “Hey, Y/n. Wanna come in?” He asks and I nod. But my feet are stuck, and I simply look at him unsure what to say. “I know it is unknown, and you’re not sure how to feel but you can only speak to the guy.” He places his hand on my back, guiding me into the house as my feet slowly move. “He’s in his room, we’ll leave you to it.” 
Now my feet take me to his door, and I knock. “Yeah?” He calls out. 
I turn the doorknob and walk in. He’s on his bed, on his phone and glances up with a smile. I stay still and then he does a double take and is instantly on his feet. “Hey.” He says with a smile, and runs his fingers through his hair. 
“I I saw the video.” The only words I can conjure. 
He nods. “And?” 
“I, I,” I try to grasp my mind for words, for something to say. I know what I want to say, but my mind can’t fathom the perfect response. “Fuck it.” I mumble as I walk up to him and kiss him. 
My arms are around his neck, and his are on my waist pulling me closer to him. 
This time it isn’t for clickbait, it isn’t for anyone else other than the two of us. 
As I pull away and rest my forehead on his, eyes still closed I can sense him smiling. “Yeah, I guess that is a solid response.” 
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monxcarat · 5 years
Text
nct dream as seniors in highschool
mark
you know that overachieving friend in middle school that falls behind in high school? that’s him
you’d think he’d be pretty sad about it but no, he thinks that for once is good to be just average
he overreacts to anything, he’s always laughing and clapping his hands, but if you look into his eyes you can see how dead inside he really is
the first one to break near the exams
keeps yelling about how he’s not gonna make it when actually he’s been studying for months and got everything well revised
you get instant anxiety by osmosis if you touch him
one time dropped his coffee on the ground one week before college entrance exams and he just sat next to it laughing hysterically 
renjun
renjun outside: guess i’ll die then // renjun inside: ha i’m already dead
half of the time he’s asleep, the other no one has any idea of what he is doing
skips class by going to other classrooms and having class there instead of his own
no one ever sees him on the afternoon classes
somehow has grades high enough to pass without taking a supplementary test or whatever
the teachers don’t even know his name except for the arts teacher. he was basically adopted by them.
honestly not even his classmates are sure of his name 
no one even knew he was an artist till the art teacher themself commented something about it
would totally cry at literally anything before the entrance exams
he’d be up all night crying and revising physics
“i dont even know why i’m doing this crap, i want to do art”
“omg but i won’t ever be able to do arts i don’t study crap” [starts crying]
renjun after the exam ended: its finally over its okay im free // renjun at the same time: [freaks out and can’t stop crying]
jeno
an angel.
that one classmate that takes nice notes and sends it on the class’ group chat 
his notebook is so pretty and he even makes summaries for the upcoming exams and lets everyone take a look 
honestly the only good person in the class
looks like he has everything under control but his pretty notes are just a way to overcompensate how much he doesn’t know shit
his grades are pretty shitty but the teachers still let him pass because they know he tried
stress eats crunchy vegetables like carrots because they “calm him down”
gym is his stress reliever, except that it doesn’t work that well
the weeks before the entrance exams he was like a battery on steroids (one little noise while the teacher is explaining things can set him off)
donghyuk
has never shut his mouth once in his life
its especially evident during the debates. he loves speaking his opinion LOUD and clear
but he’s nice so you don’t really hate him
ok here we have this thing called dia d (d day), in which every month the 3rd years pick a theme and wear costumes about it during a whole day and donghyuk would TOTALLY OWN IT
no one dressed better than him. no one. his costumes are always the best.
spends the first period on the bathroom doing everyone’s make up and won’t leave till everyone looks great
the teachers already gave up on telling him to be on class on time 
he just shows up on the second period, hands full of make up and wearing a nice ass costume, and goes ‘what did i miss?’
stress eats and gets really bitchy near the exams, walks around with all the books he can get, reading and shoving useless things inside his head because!!!!! he has to be ready!!!!! stop breathing around him he’s studying!!!!!!!
jaemin
jaemin,,, he’s a mess. a complete, total mess
but everyone looks at him and thinks “mood” 
and he’s nice and all but actually befriend him? imagine the emotional toll
he would deadass call you at 4am because he has no money left and wants to buy m&m’s
goes to school wearing flip flops but is always barefoot
the teachers love him and he always talks to them during classes
brings a huge thermal bottle full of coffee every. single. day.
the only thing you ever see him eating are the sweets someone in the class sells
the type of person that, as we say here, would clap to the sun
gets money by selling crafts online
would ignore the exams until the last second because he’s not sure it matters??? i mean he wants to go to college and all that, but he’s just not sure it’s something he has to do now
chenle
never wears the uniform, shows up on the first day wearing a hoodie and sandals and no one says a thing about it
those nike sandals. you know the ones. with socks. 
doesn’t even bring a pencil to class
goes to the secretary in the middle of a class to ‘get a pencil there’ and comes back 30 minutes later
without the pencil
sits on the back during the classes he doesn’t like
talks and laughs loudly but no one calls him out
no one even knows it’s him tbh they can only see the cute and pure baby from when they first met 
sometimes goes to other year’s classes because the teachers love him and don’t mind
sits on the teachers chair while obnoxiously slurping water with a straw 
“don’t do drugs kids, do college entrance exams, that’ll fuck you up twice as much”
keeps saying that “highschool is all about the experience, making friends and memories, we’re still young, we’re allowed to make mistakes” but the only reason he’s like that is because he’s just numb. he sees a test or mock exams and just goes lol and dabs away
had too much sugar to keep him up during the college entrance exams and blacked out as soon as he got home
jisung
completely lost 24/7
“we have geography today??? what do you mean we have a test today?? didn’t we have one last week???? what do you mean the college entrance exams are tomorrow, november didn’t even start???”
that kid throwing stuff around in the back all the time
is always asking the teacher if he can leave to “drink water” even if he has a full water bottle on his dark
has no fucking clue what he’s doing with his life, or how he even got to senior year
makes the teacher repeat the question a thousand times when they call him out to answer something
his notebooks are filled with random stories he’s writing. but no school notes. never school notes.
accidentally talks back at teachers
has to cram in. every. single. time. before the final exams
has no idea how he graduated, he’s pretty sure the teachers were tired of dealing with him already
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bruhnushka · 5 years
Text
what happened w the guy
so basically,,, *this is really Long btw
lets call the guy Sean. 
so i followed Sean on insta a couple months ago bc I thought he was funny and he lived in the same area I did. He was kinda famous (had 33k followers so I mean) and I kind of assumed wed never interact past his posts. Then one day he goes on live. I’m super bored so I click on it. He tells everyone there to ask questions that they find interesting. All the comments were “how big is your dick” and “what color are your eyes really” type beat. I thought that was the vibe so I put in a question I knew he wouldn't answer. I commented “Do you think the US was justified in Hiroshima?” It took a few seconds but he saw my question and his eyes did this thing were they like widened and like creased??? but anyways I remember that look bc that kinda started everything. He started going into full depth about the USA and our excessive need for sticking our noses where they don't belong and how much resources and money we waste on foreign aid and we were having a discussion and he was ONLY looking for my comment. there was a girl named Leah who kept asking him to say her name by spamming the comments section and he literally said “Leah. there. im blocking you now.” and deadass blocked her. this whole live chat thing happened for the next few days until around the fourth time. After he finished his live on the discussion of our gun laws he followed me. I was so excited and happy and at this point I hidden FALLEN for him, but I had somewhat of a tiny crush. Seeing his dumbass posts made me smile and go all butterfly-y in my stomach. Anything with his name in it (which was a common white boy name) also made me smile and go all butterfly-y in my stomach. Exactly 2 days after he followed me I was watching his story where he posted one of his dumbass tik toks he made when he was high. I started laughing so hard so I slid up, forgetting it was him, and called him stupid. By the time I realized I slid up on HIS story it was too late and he'd already seen it. He started replying and although it was awkward at the beginning it started to became more bearable, until we exchanged numbers and would text for nights. It had been about 2-3 weeks after I first commented at this point. Sean had been texting me like nonstop and would tell me that he loved talking to me and he wanted to meet. I hadn't really discussed anything relationship wise with him but I could feel myself getting whipped. Around the 5th week of talking we met up at a movie theatre, took some edis, and got smacked. It was so fun and we talked forever about everything and I ended up sleeping in his car. He drove me home the next day and he told me that we should hang out again, but didn't kiss me or anything. And we did, like every single week. He’d come to my rooftop and smoke with me and we’d just talk and laugh and sleep. By then it had been about 2 months and I was gone. I was literally completely head over heels fallen for him. There reached a point when he was in Vegas so I couldn’t talk to him so I missed him. I went on his main insta, that had no posts. I got bored so I looked into his tagged, and scrolled around. Then I found two things. number one was a prom post, but a collection of photos w him and a girl who's head was on his shoulder. the second post was all the way at the bottom, and was a one month anniversary photo of him and the same girl from Aug of 2018. My heart literally dropped and I immediately called my friends and told them. I assumed the worst, that he was in a relationship and was just playing with me. I wanted so desperately to believe that he was the most perfect person for me- smart and intelligent about all these topics that interest me, funny with the same damn sense of crackhead humor as me, and he was so hot. And the fact that he WANTED to hang out with me, and showed interest in me, I really let myself fall. I didn't talk to him for a few weeks, and by the time he finally texted me it was about 4 months since I first commented. Looking back at it, everything happened so fast. He texted me asking if I was ok. When I didn't respond, he drove to my house with food and weed and I sent him out. He left me a voicemail and a paragraph hoping that I was ok and if he could do anything. That really hurt me because I realized that he didn't know what he did wrong. After he left the voicemail, I decided I would tell him how I feel about him. It took me days but I eventually wrote a massive paragraph explaining everything I felt from the moment I met him until now, and why I didn't want to talk to him, and why I felt the way I did. I sent it, he read it, and gave a paragraph in return. to summarize, he basically said “I never meant to lead you on, I loved you but as a friend, I would never date you, I wish we could still be friends because you are an amazing person.” I told him we could, but I needed a break from him. He asked if we could meet for one last time before the break and I was so fucking vulnerable and desperate to spend time with him I said yes. He picked me up and we went to Lake Elizabeth and thats where I asked him, like an idiot, why he wouldn't date me. He told me, and I quote, “I don't really... fuck with your type of girls.” obviously I was confused, so I asked him wym. he kinda said “you know...” and motioned towards my body. He basically said he didn't date fat girls. He saw my face when he said that and he knew he made a mistake but it was too late, I literally just got up and left. I called my friend and asked her to send me an uber and it was just a mess, I was crying and about to scream and Sean was like finally getting up to chase after me after sitting there for like fifteen minutes but by then I left. I went home. About 2 days ago, 3 days after that happened, I was shamelessly stalking his page using another one of my accounts. He posts a black screen with a broken heart emoji, and then the next one was a paragraph ass post about why they broke up. I didn't want to read it but I skimmed it and i think it was something about how they were “too different.” anyways almost three hours after reading the post he hits me with a “wyd” and some random ass worm emoji we use ironically. I haven't responded still and don't plan to, although theres a part of me literally begging to talk to him again bc I know he wants to either date me or just play with me again and that part of me isn't even mad at that
so yea. that on top of so much other tings w my personal life and friends has literally made me so numb rn. like I wanna cry,,, but I can't
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Christmas 2k17
- My mother will go to great lengths to ignore or be annoyed by me Caring About The Political World Climate, but she literally got me a copy of 1984 lmao
- Front row tickets to Chicago!! 
- Okay so family dinner. Okay. So this year they decided to start dinner at like, 2:00 in the damn afternoon because my ONE uncle had to be out by 7:00 as he was taking a date to the Eagle’s game tonight and everyone wants him to marry off already so they were being supportive. But. Apparently he’s dating two different girls and the girl he’s taking is not one of them, and also has a boyfriend, so this was all for N O T H I N G
- OmfG my cousin brought his girlfriend and we’ve all met her before but like this was the first Family Holiday Dinner(tm) and it’s so fucking loud and obnoxious with these people and my mom said something to her like ‘are you ready for all this’ and this girl PULLS OUT ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CANNED MARGARITAS and was like “Listen. I’ve got a whole case on me. I’m ready. I’m cruising” I was DEAD
- She also decided I was the Cool And Sane Relative which is...Shocking. An Honor. Revolutionary. Unprecedented. Lmao so she stuck by me all night and gave me mango-ritas or whatever the hell as we lowkey shittalked my theater company it was great
- One cousin turned up in a low-cut glitter shirt matched with leggings covered in pictures of David Bowie in ‘Labyrinth’, another showed up in jeans and T-Rex slippers, and two more were completely adorned in Eagle’s merchandise. Classic.
- All the distant relatives think I’m like 16 lol
- “Oh, YOU WANNA HEAR THE MATT LAUER STORY?? I’LL TELL YOU THE MATT LAUER STORY” - *the entire room groans*
- I got Jenna a fruit infuser water bottle and a necklace and she was like....very hype about it??? Like this is the most genuine emotion I’ve seen out of her in like a year lmao. Either her acting is getting better or she’s finally reaching the stage where she realizes she can be a teenager and a real person at the same time
- “Oh, God, fuck....We’ve already reached Peak Colleen.” 
- Grandmom made the illusive fudge but she only made ONE BATCH and only three people knew where she hid it it was a WAR ZONE
- FIFTY MINUTES TO TAKE THE FAMITLY PHOTO
- “I can’t get it to focus all the way!” “Grif, as long as it’s focused on me it doesn’t matter!”
- EVERYONE literally surrounded a poor baby while her father tried to feed her omfg she was screaming bloody murder and everyone was laughing and finally he’s like ‘You know I think we’d ALL cry if people ganged up on us and made weird noises while we tried to eat’ asdfg
- There was pie on the table but we were refused the knowledge of whether or not it was indeed Drug Dealer Pie(tm), The Return 
- Listen,,,,,due to a now well-publicized picture and some charity work, my one aunt is CONVINCED she, personally, is the Eagle’s good luck charm this year and...it’s the only thing...she knows how to talk about...We get it, your picture made the front page so now they let you go to all the games...please shush...
- I can’t even begin to articulate this to you guys, but like...for MONTHS it’s the only thing we’ve heard about lol
- the eternal argument over the Weird Skeletal Bird Ornament 
- My cousin accidentally dropkicked a baby Jesus statue across the room
- The out of town cousin showed up with his wife and By God, She’s Got Some Opinions About Drugs
- Me: *innocently pours myself a modest glass of wine*
 Sixteen other grown-as relatives in the room: “oooOOOOHHHoooOOOOHHH”
- The kids were gone like all night?? Zack showed up briefly to model a Pikachu onesie but like. Where the fuck were they??? I can’t believe they were really on a trampoline in 20 degrees weather??? lol
- My grandmother usually just secretly slips me 20 bucks like I'm a drug dealer but this year she actually put it in a card??? Actual presentation??? I was Shook
- Meanwhile I chucked a bag of Godiva chocolate at her and said ‘Merry Christmas you’re IMPOSSIBLE to shop for’ lmao
- My aunt nearly stabbed someone for trying to help her with the food
- ADFGH So my aunt and grandmom go shopping sometimes and the argue about everything and one time my aunt came from work so she was in scrubs and while the were arguing in a busy parking lot my grandmom realized her daughter probably looks like her assistant or something so she deadass started yelling ‘OKAY OKAY PLEASE DONT HIT ME AGAIN’ ASDFGH This story was retold like six times throughout the night bc grandmom kept changing aspects of it to make herself in The Right lmao
- “I think Lin Manuel Miranda laid a curse on me”
- Oh my God wait I forgot my upstairs neighbors were getting HIGH ALL NIGHT like you literally could not go in the hallway but when we left today the weed was nearly covered up with the overwhelming scent of French fries and like....we know they’re having happy holidays rn
- All the desserts were disgusting because I apparently can’t trust my family with anything, ever
- *uses lasagna to eat my feelings about Peter Capaldi regenerating* 
- My mom decided she wanted to help clean up but she was overwhelmed by the concept so she circled the house three times before folding exactly one chair and then leaving
- I had to take off my shoes at one point bc my feet literally went numb and like...it was too much of an Issue there’s a dude here in t-rex slippers you can handle my black and gold snowflake socks grandmother 
- My cousin put his girlfriend's car keys in some random persons coat pocket and had to advance on an adventure to find them
- I saw someone crying into a pan of greenbeans 
- anyway I can’t remember much else but!! Not as crazy as usual but still a relatively entertaining night. Merry Christmas guys!! 
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