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#day 9: i am now functionally unkillable
candyradium · 3 years
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mm my desire to keep playing on the smp and work on shit and get even more stacked vs my need to actually fucking sleep
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ixcaliber · 7 years
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I Will Rate Every Stand In Part 5
Gold Experience - not a bad stand for a protagonist, pretty versatile, looks are okay, giorno has plenty of opportunities to use it in weird and creative ways to overcome obstacles. a pretty solid stand 7 out of 10
Sticky Fingers - first up i’m a sucker for the hidden eyes look so this stand gets extra points right from the get go, the zips thing is pretty cool and sometimes buccelati does the ora ora thing with ari ari arrivederci when he hits people 8 out of 10
Black Sabbath - okay so black sabbath looks seriously cool it has the whole venetian garb look going for it and the arrow motif i’m already on board when it comes to this stand but then for bonus points its a remote stand that operates in a cool and interesting way (attacking everyone who sees polpo’s lighter get extinguished and using the arrow to do so to create new stand users for the mob) and god i’m super on board except i do have a couple of niggling questions. Like how did the stand arrow become part of polpo’s stand, why didn’t the requiem stuff happens when in the fight black sabbath stabs gold experience with the arrow? i’m not gonna get too bogged down in inconsistencies and shit that doesn’t make 100% sense though because this is jojo after all. ultimately black sabbath is a real good stand. 9 out of 10
Moody Blues - moody blues looks real cool and also while maybe not the best fighting stand imagine how powerful a stand is that can play back any action anyone has taken so long as it has access to the place where it happened and knows when it happened. it’d be virtually impossible to keep anything secret from this stand and i love it. also the part where it flies the plane by replicating the actions of a pilot. it’s really cool and underutilized maybe. 8 out of 10
Soft Machine - it put a boat in another boat and i still don’t understand the logistics of this 4 out of 10
Sex Pistols - while i like standard stand design i really really like stands that don’t adhere to that and this stand is bullets and its really good. they’re kind of adorable sometimes and its just a shame that shooting people is pretty useless in jojo 6 out of 10
Kraftwerk - dont like its teeth i’d be so much more enthused about this stand if it didn’t have this awful fixed grin (though maybe thats the point given its ability) its ability is cool so i can be too mad at it though 5 out of 10
Aerosmith - remember when i said i was a big fan of stands that don’t look like the standard... Aerosmith great its just again kind of a shame that its ability isn’t the most engaging you know... 6 out of 10
Little Feet - shrinks its enemies it’s dull and plain looking 1 out of 10
Purple Haze - the stand too powerful to ever actually do anything throughout the entirety of part 5. it looks cool enough the only problem with this stand is that it’s a protagonist stand instead of an antagonist stand. i really kind of feel like after buccelati et all broke off from the mob and fugo remained loyal they should have done more with that. fugo being actually loyal and seeing his friends as betraying him and then actually going after them, that’d have been a cool story imo. purple haze is kind of too powerful though so um 5 out of 10 could have been cool but wasn’t
Man In The Mirror - this stand has like a mask thing going on which is in its favour but at the same time its like a mirror world thing and its kind of... whatever i’ll give it a 7 out of 10 for that mask alone
Mr President - apparently the name of the turtle room stand. it’s pretty cool even though i don’t understand why a turtle has an alcove for a key and how that whole arrangement came to exist. is the key the stand and the turtle the user? are they part of a whole? was this turtle just born with a key in its back or born with this indent and then once someone found the matching key its stand was unlocked? so many questions. one thing is for sure this turtle is a precious friend lets say a 5 out of 10 for being more functional than interesting
The Grateful Dead - lots of eyes... kind of unpleasant to look at... the aging thing is pretty cool though... 5 out of 10, it might have got more but somehow it fails to be as outright alarming as 
Beach Boy - any scene where Beach Boy is moving up beneath someone’s flesh is the most viscerally unpleasant. i kind of can’t believe that a stand that’s just a fishing rod is as much of a nightmare as it is but holy shit. 8 out of 10 is a score thats supposed to reflect that its a very effective stand at what it sets out to do even if i am not exactly super fond of it
Baby Face - the first thing this stand does is rape a woman so she can give birth to a specially designed bucellati hunting stand... this is a bad bad stand. 0 out of 10
White Album - white album has powers to make things cold... which is... okay i guess i mean i’d certainly take that over punching stands that just punch real hard. it does get points for being a stand that someone can wear and having cool ice skate feet though. 6 out of 10
King Crimson - haha god i’ve got no fucking idea ?? out of 10
Clash - i do like the non-humanoid stands so i’m already down with this i um forgot what this stand can actually do though.... oh okay just the teleportation between liquids, i um kind of expected it to have something more than that given that it needs that much to be even just able to get around. its okay you know but not what i might have envisaged for something based on The Clash. 6 out of 10
Talking Head - looking back i seem to either be saying ‘i like the design but the power isn’t interesting’ or ‘i like the power but the design is bad’ and this is the latter of the two. it’s pretty fun and is used real well though lets say 7 out of 10
Notorious B.I.G. - Notorious BIG is great i love this unkillable stand, the only stand that actually survives because they’re just like ‘nope there’s nothing we can actually really do about this lets just get it the frick away from us’. its design is great its concept is great. i mean i do have to wonder what the heck its deal was before its user died i mean this is not a useful stand to have at all. that guy must have been real dedicated to the mob you know. 10 out of 10 love this stand so much
Spice Girl - mostly just mad araki didn’t really give trish the actual opportunity to fight anyone or really use her abilities. there’s also no real need for spice girl to have breasts. wasn’t a major fan of how spice girl seemed to be sort of an independent intelligence and essentially i just want trish to be given more and to be treated better. kind of shitty that the one fight they actually give her is one thats unwinnable by design she doesn’t get to kill anything. maybe also not great that they give her a stand thats focused on softness i mean feminine stereotyping you know... that said spice girl is okay and the power is interesting and it’d have been nice to see it more fully utilized 6 out of 10
Metallica - the little metal beings that live inside the guys body i umm i ummmmm some of them are kind of cute somehow but seriously this stand kind of made me uncomfortable for most of its existence. oh oh and i forgot that metallica has the ability to turn an enemies blood into razor blades and shit i um nope no no thanks 5 out of 10 points being awarded for kind of cuteness and the power is pretty creative but i still hate it
Green Day - looks too human like to be really endearing to me... but has an interesting power and is well utilized and gets to do the thing where the user dismembers himself and uses green day’s ability to control each limb independently its fucking wild 7 out of 10 sure why not
Oasis - my experience may be biased given this is where i ran out of good translations and the fight just became incomprehensible. Oasis seems like a sub optimal name for a stand that can dive deep into the ground... and the design is kinda meh. the power is... okay i mean i guess this predates the awful senor pink from one piece but i did see that first and he left a bad taste and the guy who uses Oasis is pretty trash also... lets be generous and say 4 out of 10
Silver Chariot Requiem - requiem stands are duuumb. if you’re gonna add like another layer of power to a stand make it at least like an extension of the power of that stand. Silver Chariot’s power was like what...? well it was a part 3 stand i think it was just that it could slice things with a sword and was pretty fast things were much simpler and sometimes less interesting back in part 3 but requiem silver chariot has 1) make everyone in the entire city of rome go to sleep 2) bodyswap everyone in the entire city of rome 3) i think i remember that like it was trying to bring mankind towards its next stage of evolution or something who even fucking knows and 4) turns your own stand attacks against you powers. this stand makes no sense as a bumped up version of silver chariot i hate it 0 out of 10
Gold Experience Requiem - guess what other stand makes no sense as a souped up version of the original yep its this one. Gold Experience’s power is just the opposite of whatever King Crimson’s power is because we just need to be able to beat King Crimson and get the part over with already. 0 out of 10
Rolling Stones - i scream please just end already at the manga but it does not listen instead i have to read this chapter designed to explain why Buccelati didn’t be the dead for such a long length of time, or I assume as much. yeah also there’s a part in this where its like ‘oh this girl touched the stand and realized she was going to have a painful death from an illness so just was like well i guess i’ll go and commit suicide right now then this seems like the logical course of action’ i didn’t enjoy this stand 0 out of 10
in summary i enjoyed part 5 i just felt that the end was super disappointing and trish deserved better
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