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zemossunshine · 1 year

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Sunshine Chapter 46

Pairings: Zemo x You Bucky x You

Summary: Falling in love with a villain. This will start sweet and then go very dark.

Tags: Explicit. Mature. Not for minors. Dark. Angst. Knife play. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Self Harm . Vomiting. Nightmares. Sleepwalking. Torture. Smut. Broken Bones. Blood. Injury. Violence. Rough Sex. Rape. Kidnapping. Spanking. Unhealthy Relationships. Mental Health Issues. Anal Sex. Orgasm Delay. Fear. Blow Jobs. Sexual Violence. Suicide Attempt. Reference To Domestic Violence. Sleepwalking. Memory Loss. Gen Violence. Threats. Manipulation. Manipulative Relationship. Murder. Death. Loss Of Parents. Implied Alcohol Abuse. Threats Of Rape. Non Consensual Drug Use. Emotional Manipulation. Gaslighting.

Warnings fr this chapter: Threats

You held yourself back in the days Zemo was gone. Scott kept Rebecca entertained with various magic tricks, she loved every one. Asking if he had any other magic friends, she would have loved Victor, but he didn’t appear, but then Zemo wasn’t here. On the last night Hope told you that you didn’t have to take the sleeping tablets, she didn’t know Zemo like you did. He would know if you didn’t and someone would be punished and you weren't about to let that be her or Scott, they gave up their time to look after you and Rebecca, were endlessly kind when you had held them in the grips of your power. Didn’t flinch away, even gave Zemo a quinjet key chain, which you suspected wasn't just a key chain. Hope was so worried when you woke up screaming she ordered Scott out of your room, just because he was male, they had been told what happened or at least had some idea. The shame burned within you, you were not frightened of men, just one really, the one you lived with, the one you were married to, the one there would never be any escape from again.

“You know we lost each other for a while, maybe someone is out there looking for you.” Scott said lovingly holding Hope's hand over a steaming cup of chamomile tea. Your face etched with disdain, you could comment that it was an odd thing to say, it really was, Scott still had optimism, after everything that had happened, after how he had been treated, by his own government. Even after he saved the world, There was only one person looking for you and you walked straight back into his house.

“No, there isn’t, we would have found them by now.” Hope added as she kicked Scott under the table. On some level she knew, she knew that this was a prison, hell you could even say it and they couldn't take you away. She rolled her eyes at the buzzing of her phone, Zemo checking in again, which felt like an alarm going off at five minute intervals. Zemo couldn't exactly refuse any mission because of his own pardon, couldn't claim he had you to take care of, he had to pretend that everything was just as fine as you did, especially as he finished the job you and Maria started, you no longer existed, Zemo took it all.

–

Waking up to an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, you knew Zemo was back, that had to be it. Zemo was back, he had to be, that or something worse, not that you could discount that, there always seemed to be something worse. You were so cynical now, you could just lay in bed forever until the day you didn’t wake up again, get the freedom Victor longed to give you. The sleeping tablets took you under, but they didn't keep you asleep, today they had, at least you hadn't spent half the night pacing your room. Grunting you knew that Zemo would drag you out of bed if he had to and you knew it would take very little for him to feel like he had to. Huffing at yourself, you couldn’t exactly complain, you wanted this, you willingly came here, you coerced, planned, even threatened Maria. Swinging your legs over the bed, you took what you hoped would be a calming breath, placing your hand on the edge of the bed to push yourself up, you stared at the alarmingly familiar black bracelet. Hell no. Prying it with your fingers, clawing at it with your nails, there was only one difference, this wasn’t the one you wore at the raft, this was vibranium, indestructible. This was originally designed to shock you at any moment. Zemo couldn't expect you to wear this, lying to yourself again that he couldn’t make you, when you both knew he could. Would he really be so cruel as to shock you, to have the fear of having bolts of electricity move through your body at any given moment?

“I’m not wearing this.” You told Zemo, finding him walking to the kitchen with an increasingly happy Rebecca.

“Strange, it looks to me as if you are wearing it right now.”

Fuck you.

Fuck no there was no way, you needed Maria, you needed Shuri, you needed to get this torture device off your body immediately, well Zemo removed anything that could even be considered a weapon a while ago, you hadn't seen his sword for ages. You wondered how strong the doors were, if you would have time to smash the door enough times to get the job done, somehow Hydra had done you a favour, you knew what it felt like to lose a limb.

I’ll cut my arm off.

A hand clamped around your forearm like a vice, as Rebecca entered the kitchen you were pulled back and slammed into the hallway wall. Zemo pressed himself firmly against you. You swung your head and Rebecca was in her own little world. Zemo was so close you felt his nose graze your cheek as he whispered into the shell of your ear. “That thought is never to cross your pretty little mind again, do you understand?”

“You're hurting me.” Your lip quivered, heart drumming in your ears, muscles straining as your skin crawled.

“If I find so much as a scratch from any ill attempt to remove this, you will find yourself handcuffed to my person permanently, then you will discover what real pain is.” Zemo promised with a voice devoid of all emotion while you frantically shook your head. Zemo gently lifted your chin with his other hand, heat and fury radiating from him and you whimpered, barely able to hold yourself up, you relented and looked at him. His eyes bore into you unashamed, that darkness ,that fire was there but there was something else, his eyes burned you. Did he even care? After all the pain he had caused? Trembling in his arms you hoped he hadn't seen the scratches already around the watch.

“I’m sorry.” you gasped out. That seemed to disgust Zemo he released his hold and stepped into the kitchen, you slid down the wall, more like fell, placing your hands into the plush carpet in an attempt to ground yourself, to not cave to the impending panic attack, desperately trying to regulate your breathing a hand appeared over your own. Victor. You clung onto him as if he were the only hope you had. Rebecca called out to you and you retched, you had to endure this. You wanted this, you just didn’t think he would be so callous with Rebecca so close.

“You can survive anything Sweetheart.” Victor reminded you. Rubbing your hand over your face you stood, still weak at the knees, plastered a smile on your face and entered the kitchen, hearing Victor on your trail.

“I can count to ten!” Rebecca exclaimed, with one little finger she pointed in the air as she counted off, you forced your smile to get bigger for her.

“You know Rebecca, you have ten fingers, as do I. You should check to see if Sunshine does.” Zemo smirked at you. You fucking asshole. He brought Rebecca into this, made her part of your little spat. She would now remember you had ten fingers. You held them out and your head high as she counted them off. Just for a moment you imagined she was counting up the moment you exploded, that you grabbed the nearest object and repeatedly smash it into Zemo’s face.

“I wish you would.” Victor sang which caused a genuine smile to peep through, his commentary wasn’t exactly child friendly. “You could always say it was an accident.” A laugh almost escaped through your lips, which was only fuelled by the confusion on Zemo’s face.

Another pointless driving lesson, at least Victor was sitting in the back, huffing and tutting at the pretence that you couldn’t drive, or pilot or a jet, or that you were this clueless. Zemo reeled off his stupid instructions. You didn't even know why Zemo agreed to teach you to drive, it wasn't like you were going anywhere. With Rebecca on your lap, driving very slowly around the trees, you gently hit the brakes when a squirrel ran across your path. Rebecca planted her feet on your thighs and hands on the wheel, enamoured by the little furry thing. Watching it, brushing its face with its tiny little paws you were in awe of her sparkling eyes, how its fluffy little tail could bring such joy into her heart, he ran off and she moved her face closer to yours with a big grin, a moment shared between you both.

Zemo captured it on his phone, he played the video for you and you would cherish it forever, the intimacy of it, you both so happy, the sun shining on both of you, so serene, almost as if you were glowing, that joy was lost when you watched Zemo send that video to Maria with a triumphant expression. He had you dead to rights, you were both playing an elaborate game of chess. Sure, you could blow the whole board off the map, but you both knew you wouldn't. He had solid evidence that you were thriving, happy, safe, just as he did before.

“Kill him.” Victor commanded, feeding into your darker desires. And so you opened the car door, gently lifted Rebecca out, made sure she was steady on her feet and hit the gas, laughing maniacally into the air as you sought your revenge, hurtling towards a tree, angling the car to make sure Zemo would die on impact. If only. If only you had the courage, if only Victor were really here, if only you could open the car without Zemo, you couldn't cause Rebecca that much pain, you would live on, whatever that meant, as long as she was happy.

“Driving requires two hands Rebecca, isn’t that right Sunshine?” Zemo cooed.

“Yes, it does. You have two hands just like dad and me.” You agreed with Zemo feeling the burn of Victor’s gaze on you and the start of his chuckle as you continued allowing malice to slip into your voice. “Uncle Bucky has two hands, doesn’t he?” You smiled sardonically at Zemo knowing you left him stumped, what was he going to do? Deny it? Say Bucky was defective in some way and by extension you? That you weren't whole as a person? You hummed to yourself satisfied at the blood curdling laugh you elicited from Victor.

“He is insufferable.” Victor scorned.

Victor gave you ideas, plenty of ideas, kick Zemo down the stairs, push his head into the boiling soup he made for dinner, hold his head under Rebecca’s bath, all of which formed an incredible and vivid visual in your mind. The darkness was always there and now the person who taught you how to harness it was with you, encouraging you to act on it, painting a picture of every scenario. That was Victor's solution, to stay safe he argued you had to eliminate Zemo. You asked him how you would get supplies, money, how you were supposed to provide for Rebecca in a prison you couldn't leave, he had his magic, he had his intellect, you didn’t have those things. He would have this bracelet off in five seconds flat, break down whatever shield there was preventing your escape. A knock came on your door after Rebecca went to bed, no doubt Zemo and his shitty pills, opening the door you held out your hand, just get it over with to see Zemo’s sleeves rolled up and a matching thick black bracelet, but why would he wear one? This wasn’t the raft he didn’t need to. You believed the guards only wore them so the chain could form in between. THE CHAIN! Your mind screamed as Zemo’s bracelet touched yours and a black chain appeared in between them. You stared at it in horror, what the sordid implications of this little chain meant. Zemo would be by your side for every waking moment, every sleeping moment, he would be in your bed, how would you use the toilet? How would you shower? Dress? Bile rose up your throat and you had to force it back down, frozen on the spot, you had no idea what to do.

Before you could form any sort of response, Zemo pulled on his handcuff causing you to spin, lifting his arm over you, he grasped your waist ruthlessly and pulled you back into him. Victor help me, help please. Zemo kicked your legs out and as you screamed his hand covered your mouth. You knew what this meant, knew how your body would be violated, every hot breath of his that tickled your cheek, felt like an unwanted touch. Zemo fumbled in his pocket and you screamed louder, flailing against him, trying to get him away from you, you muscles contracted on memory. Zemo held his hand up in front of you with those wretched pills. Did he expect you to take them from his hand like a dog? You nodded your head, you would rather be under for this, when he tipped those pills into your mouth, you felt how much you hated him, with every fibre of your being. You hated him, hated Wanda for digging you out, hated Maria for bringing you back, she was not your guardian angel, she dragged you back to hell, you could have been free from this, free from the endless cycle of pain. Free from feeling your heart shatter over and over.

I made the wrong choice.

Once again you had been presented with a choice and instead of killing Zemo which he rightly deserved, you killed Victor. You choose Zemo again. Metal fingertips grazed yours, urging you to try, to see if your powers worked. Even though you knew how to get out of this Victor trained you specifically to, to fight Zemo. You couldn't, you wouldn't fight Zemo. Victor rested his forehead against yours and you wanted to feel relief from the strong arms wrapped around you, the hands clutching your waist, the hands that Victor swore to remove if they touched you again.

“This isn’t real.” Victor lied echoing the words you said to him in Hydra’s box, cupping your face with his hands and kind eyes.

You're not real.

Snivelling at your situation Victor lied again.“Precisely Sweetheart. I’m dead, I can’t be here, so you can’t either. It's not real, just close your eyes, it will all be over soon.”

Lying to yourself again, telling yourself that this would be the last time. This isn't real.

–

“Shhhhhh Sunshine, I’m here, I won’t let anything happen to you.” Zemo’s voice broke, soothing you again as your body jerked in his arms. Zemo sobbed into the crook of your neck, he had lost you again. He failed. Failing as he always had, he couldn't save you. You always believed in him. Your pain was indelible as was his. He did not have the heart, the compassion, the patience required, you needed someone like yourself. And there was no one quite like that, no one that could make the sun burst out of them, no one, just you. He wanted to cure your frail body, patch up your heart, slay every demon, heal every wound, wipe your tears, hold your hand as you screamed. How to take it all back? How to fix your broken heart? How to undo it all? He desecrated you and destroyed you. All of your suffering, it was all him. And you were still paying the price. He would dedicate his life to you, even if you continuously rejected him he would remain at your side forever.

He wondered who was more of a shell. Whose gaping wound that would never heal hurt the most, how much longer could he endure not being able to hold you? How much more he could repress? How much more torment he could take? How this felt like death by a thousand cuts. The conversations with himself, the back and forth and for what? What would it change now. You hated him. There wasn't a single space in his heart that didn't still love you. He wanted you to turn on him, make him suffer as you had.

He was not perturbed by the shuffling of feet in his house. New guests had arrived, perhaps they could coax a smile out of you, penetrate the towering walls you had built. Perhaps the old faces would make everything stop, if only Oeznik were here. He imagined if Oeznik were here, he wouldn’t be, he would have shot him dead the moment you were discovered. Oh how he wished he died in Sokovia, then you would be free. You had grown to detest yourself, believing you could only bring pain. You even rejected his smiles. Rebecca seemed to pain you also, he understood why, he wanted to covet her innocence, he just couldn't bring himself to force her to see the realities of the world.

“What the hell Zemo.” Bucky hissed, entering the room, lying to Sarah about checking in with General Ross, no doubt hearing two heartbeats behind this door.

“Don’t take her from me, please James.” Zemo begged, pulling you back. “She threatened to dismember herself. She does not sleep James, her mind is haunting her, automatically assuming the worst, she cannot, shhhhhhh-” He sputtered out, stroking his thumb across your knuckles, lulling you back to sleep again, bringing you closer to him, so James couldn’t snatch you away. “I regret the day she ever met us.”

“Yeah,” Bucky replied softly, helplessly looking on. You would have been terrified, but Zemo was so broken, no one saw how desperate he had been all these years, how he barely slept, how every moment was hollow, the despair he had looking for you, no one had seen the regret that taunted him. There wasn't anything Zemo wouldn't do for you, how he would do anything to make you right again. How you still had all of Zemo, how your face haunted Zemo’s dreams.

“It feels as if she is dying.” Zemo admitted. Watching your own mind poison you, steal away your peace, steal away your soul. Watching you yearn for the man who sold you to Hydra. You were growing weaker and weaker by the day, refusing food, refusing sleep, refusing everything. But your thoughts, they were the darkest they had ever been and he just had to sit and watch you torture yourself. You wouldn't survive this. If Zemo could keep you asleep like this forever, safe in his arms, so at peace, he would.

“She shouldn’t have saved us.”

“That wasn’t intentional, she knew we would have prevented her, she needed us out of her way.” Zemo knew he would never have agreed to your sacrifice, he would have handed over the world and never given it a second thought. Bucky pulled the sheets from the bed and draped them over you, he sat for hours watching Zemo calm your unconscious form, somewhere in there, you knew Zemo would protect you. That wouldn’t matter now, Zemo handcuffed you to him, it was over, you would never trust either of them again. He remembered that, hiding in Bucharest, knowing he could only trust one man he couldn't quite remember, Steve. You didn't have anyone like that, not anymore. Then after Wakanda, you came along, trusted him implicitly, saw the good in everyone including him, he was only with Sarah now because a part of him, that he could have lived with, was somewhere in your mind. Not that he or Zemo were letting you go anywhere, they made a pact it would be different this time. As he watched Zemo’s tears fall onto your body, he wasn’t sure it could ever be, if he thought Zemo was over protective before, that was nothing compared to now. If this was Sarah, he would hold her and never let go. “Just a while longer James.”

–

Having no time to compose yourself hearing the rush at your door, burst open and before you could focus you were bundled by two very excited boys. AJ and Cass, the ones who felt your presence. You wanted to hug them forever.

That was short lived when Sarah rushed in pulling them off. “What did I say!” She scolded them. She held her hand out to you. You ignored her and pushed yourself back up, pulling on your sleeve to fully cover the watch still firmly wrapped around your wrist, which almost felt like Hydra's hand clamps, you stretched your fingers out, just to check that you could and Sarah’s face dropped. You forgot, forgot for a moment that now you were something to be feared, especially around her children. You would never get used to that. “I’m Sarah, I- erm, I-” She stumbled over her words, no doubt because this was an odd introduction, she knew you, you could see the disbelief on her face, that she was looking at someone she grieved for, someone who wasn’t supposed to be here, well you agreed more and more with that with each passing day.

“MEOOOOOWWWW!”

Alpine?

You looked down at your feet to a graceful white cat meowing from what you recall for the first time. She tilted her cute little head at you, you crouched down and she didn't turn on you, swishing her tail with an air of importance, she pounced into your arms, nuzzling into your chest with loud purrs. Well at least someone was pleased to see you. Running your fingers through her soft fur, you took solace in the fact that someone even if it were an animal who knew you from the past just accepted you the way you were.

“Bucky promised pancakes, let’s go.” AJ grabbed your hand and started to drag you out of the room. Bucky was here, just great, fucking perfect. Sarah started on AJ again telling him that he had just met you and he shouldn't be dragging you around, you assured her it was fine and walking behind them, you couldn't quite believe how big they had both gotten. AJ was as tall as Sam now and Cass wasn't far behind, you missed so much. You rolled your shoulders in an attempt to shake off the disgust you felt as you entered the dining room, put on that default smile that was more you showing your teeth. Rebecca was already happily chomping down and the boys soon followed. You snuggled into Alpine, taking the smallest sip of water, forgoing any food. You used to squirm under Zemos intense gaze but now, he could go fuck himself, Bucky too with his staring. Bucky hadn't even greeted you, he just watched your every move. Was he pissed you had Alpine? He took the fucking cat from you too. As soon as Rebecca shuffled down to leave the table, you stood, wanting to be as far away from adults as you could.

“Would it be agreeable to you to eat something more substantial?” Zemo whispered. Eat something more substantial? You didn’t have much of an appetite, the thought of putting a forkful of food that either of them prepared made you retch, you couldn't stop it, covering your hand with your mouth. Zemo looked stunned and you gulped, ready to mumble another apology.

“Don’t apologise. Are you unwell?”

You shook your head, Zemo gave you a look of sadness, he glanced at Bucky, who had his ear prominently in your direction and you wished you could silence your heart. Rebecca impatiently tugged on Zemo’s arm, you could see he wanted to say more, momentarily you allowed every emotion to show on your face. Fuck you, you fucking sadist. Zemo nodded as if to accept your words and everyone filed out of the room. That thing Rebecca was so impatient for, that she was scared she would miss, the rain. The fucking rain. You announced that you didn't like the rain and stayed in with Alpine, as if she would ever allow water to taint her delicate fur. Holding her, sleeping in your arms, as Bucky and Zemo watched you through the window. Declining the coffee Sarah offered you as she stood next to you, you were impressed you didn't blurt out that you weren’t allowed coffee, or baths, or your own thoughts, or to go outside, or to breathe air without Zemo’s say so. The rain caused Rebecca’s hair to stick to her face but that didn’t stop her ever so happy laughs, splashing in every forming puddle, she climbed up Bucky’s arm and he lifted her up into the air so she could be closer to the rainfall.

“Rebecca is the real magic Sweetheart, not me.” Victor said from your other side, with a dreamy tone.

She is naive.

Victor lingered with you all day, silently by your side like a bodyguard. When everyone returned from the outside, all the children wrapped in huge white towels, Zemo handed you the phone he gave you, which you didn't carry with you, as he was monitoring it. You looked at him with wary eyes, what could he have done to it? He scrolled through a few times to reveal your old playlist, he put your music onto it. Something that was yours, just yours, all of your music about pain, how could you have ever been so blind? What even was this? An apology of some kind? Still you quietly mumbled a thank you. Making an active effort to avoid both Zemo and Bucky you stayed quiet and trailed along after Rebecca all day, who was slightly jilted that the rain had stopped. Alpine wandered off when it came to dinner and as you knew, you would be told once again you couldn’t help you waited in the dining room. Watching AJ and Cass pander to whatever Rebecca wanted to do, they also showed you where some snacks were hidden and as they ate them, so did you. You slid AJ’s tablet over, careful not to search anything you opened the news. Scrolling past every awful thing going on in the world because that all could have stopped had you not killed Victor. Which he took great satisfaction in pointing out as he tutted and huffed at everything you read, making his snide little comments.

“Look at this,” You gratefully took another nut that he cracked with his metal hand. “This college kid has found a way to clear oceans and he has got funding, can you imagine all of the plastic gone? It doesn't disturb the habitat either, this is great,” You said animatedly, taking another nut. “Finally a way to clear all the damage humanity has done, this could start healing the world, you-” You lifted your head to look into Victor’s emerald eyes only to be met with blue ones. The air tore itself from your lungs, looking at the pile of nut shells underneath Bucky’s hand and a walnut in his palm. You got so distracted you thought it was Victor, damn that metal hand and by the look on Bucky’s face he figured it out, you thought he was Victor. Pushing the chair out to run, to get away, your foot caught the leg on the chair and you crashed straight down onto the hardwood floor. A hand came into your vision, coupled with the black from the fall, you turned away only to smack your face straight back into the chair. Stop it, stop it, STOP!. You felt the ghost of a touch linger on your back and shrieked, turning again, your hand slipping on the blood dripping from your nose, blindly crawling straight into the edge of the table.

The table flew into the air followed by a sickening crunch, porcelain shattering, shards of glass slicing, setting your nerves alight. Hands gripped your upper arms to stop you moving. Splinters of wood littered down as the arms shook you to stop your head jerking in every direction trying to assess where the threat was.

“You're hurting yourself, look at me!”

Sam? Sam moved his hands to gently place them at the side of your head, instinctively your hands grabbed his wrists. He was breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, nodding, wanting you mimic him. You didn't even notice him arrive, you gripped him warm wrists, shaking, seeing little flakes of sawdust rest on the hairs of his arms. You ruined dinner, now you had a moment you could smell the tomato sauce that was now painting the ceiling. Catching Zemo out of the corner of your eye, who was looking at you with concern as Rebecca marvelled at Bucky’s strength. Bucky had both boys at either side, no doubt making sure the remnants of the large table didn’t injure them. Sarah looked terrified, hands over her mouth, trembling as much as you were. Zemo handed Rebecca to her and she told the boys to follow. You shouldn't have come back, you couldn’t do this, everyday was proving that. What if you used your powers?

“What did I do?” You whispered to yourself.

“Nothing.” Zemo left no room for argument, careful to stay back. “James startled you, it’s not your fault.”

Yes it is.

–

Sam helped you clean up, somehow you did not break your nose. You had bit your tongue and Victor said you would have black eyes by the morning. You stayed in your room, waiting for Zemo to come along with his shitty pills but he didn't. Sam knocked on your door, you pretended to be asleep. Your head felt tight, crushed by the never ending thoughts and the persistent screaming. You had several texts from Maria having missed her nightly text yesterday, you promised you were fine. You desperately wanted to see her, Zemo let Sam in so Maria should be no different. After the bruises went down, she couldn’t see you like this, she wouldn't believe that it was your fault either. No more distractions, just keep your back to a wall, smile and nothing else. You were offered an ice pack by Bucky who clearly waited outside your room until you decided to leave, he insisted, so much so, you quickly realised, you would be offered it continually, by everyone until you gave in. Sam tried to make conversation with you, so did Sarah, she told you all about the boys, how they were getting on with school, how she was still running her community projects and the fishing business.

“Are you ok here?” She said so quietly you barely heard her.

“Zemo is very kind to me.” You answered with a bright smile and Victor clapped you on the back in a gesture of a job well done.

<”I believe her, Doc taught her to lie.”> Bucky muttered in Russian to Zemo. <”She still has her powers, I can feel it and I know she remembers”> Bucky said with a remorseful tone.

<”We deserve it dont we? I await the day she seeks revenge on us. As far as I can tell she does not remember anything.”>

“Sweetheart, see even they believe they should die. Just a quick clench of those fingers and that’s it, please Sweetheart.” Victor implored.

Don’t encourage me.

After dinner in which you claimed you weren't hungry again. Everyone sat out on the patio, which you learned Sam built. He spent a lot of time here while you were gone, Oeznik was mentioned and you had to blink a few times, if he were alive, you could do this. Sam had more time with his nephews taken from him and this time it was because of you. Sam suggested a picture which surprised you, surely no pictures of you were allowed ever again, you went to enough trouble to erase them all.

“No Becca, you should go and sit with your m-” Sarah cut herself off, her beautiful children, gave her a look they mastered from the woman herself telling her to shut the fuck up. Bucky ran his hands down her back and you saw her lip wobble, her jaw clenched and you wanted to tell her that it was ok, you choose this, that this was a better option to keep Rebecca safe, to keep everyone safe, she turned on her heel and marched back into the house, Bucky and Sam on her tail. Seeing Zemo in your peripheral vision you positioned yourself so Rebecca was in between you, how fucked up that you had to use her as a shield. You claimed to need the bathroom, Zemo pulled some headphones from his pocket and your phone with instructions to not remove them under any circumstance.

Slowly and silently removing your shoes, you tiptoed down the hallway, Sarah was having a harder time with this lie than anyone else. Perhaps because she had a perspective no one else did, she was a mother too and you could garner from her point of view you were being robbed of motherhood. You were already robbed, stripped of everything, surely someone had explained that it was in Rebecca's best interest to not be related to you.

“She isn’t even a person anymore. Tell her that little girl is hers.” Sarah blubbered from inside the study.

“Doll, we have been over this.”

“Bucky-”

“ENOUGH! You think it will help her to remember everything Hydra did? Everything Victor did, remember what she did?” Bucky paused as if he were considering something. “Remember what we did? You call her and Zemo a beautiful runaway love? The night he took her, he brought her here, tied her up, cut into her, shot her, that's what all those scars on her arms are. Don’t look at Sam like that he knew, we all knew. You wanna go out and tell Rebecca that her precious Uncle Bucky strangled her ma to death? Fucking do it, you think we don’t all feel like shit, WE DID THIS!”

Sarah wailed so loud you were sure her heart was physically breaking, your past hurt her, she cried for it more than you had. You put your hand on the door and knew Bucky’s head would have turned to the door, slipping off the headphones with an air of confusion, you calmly walked over to Sarah who was doing a terrible job of stopping crying and wiping away her tears, you wrapped your arms around her and asked her what happened.

–

The next day the bruises had started to set in which made you look horrendous. Sarah announced they were leaving, which you knew was your fault, they were meant to stay for a lot longer, she couldn't handle it, you could barely handle it. There was so much more noise in the house, which you couldn't seem to cope with, so much so you jumped at your own shadow straight into Zemo’s waiting arms. You hated him, you knew you hated him and yet you were intrinsically drawn to him, that was the second time you sought solace in him when you thought you were in danger. You pulled away quickly rushing to the kitchen where the kids ate on the chairs and the adults stood around. Zemo couldn't take his eyes off you, full of devotion, full of dismay. Which you couldn't quite understand, your entire relationship was a lie, what was there to be devoted to? The temptation to flaunt your empty, ring less hand in his face was only spurred on by Victor, you could imagine the distaste across his face. It’s not like you unloved Zemo randomly, it came in bits and pieces, until you had built a heart he couldn't touch, if you believed you had one left.

Did he ever love me? You asked Victor half wanting him to answer the same question, Did Victor love you for you? Or because you were the image of Valeria? Did Zemo ever love you? Could he even love? He loved Rebecca so much so you could feel it, see it in every action. Was I ever happy? You asked Victor again wanting him to answer, you didn't get one, not from either of them, how you wished you could believe that your happiness wasn't all a fallacy, did you lie to yourself for every moment? That dance? The nights in the raft? The baths? The nights Zemo stayed awake with you when you couldn’t sleep? Every touch? every kiss? Was it all a lie?

It’s limerence, not love.

Victor had an answer this time. “Remind me how you got your powers again?”

–

You were sitting outside with Zemo and Rebecca, who was insisting on the daisy chain Zemo was making for her be bigger as she intended to wear it as a crown for her newly found princess status which Victor enjoyed a little too much, reminding you that had his plan come to fruition she would have ruled the world with him and he would have forged her a real crown. In between blowing on dandelions to, in her words, 'set the fairies free.’ You wondered if you could be a fairy. She haphazardly made you a bracelet and asked Zemo if you could be royalty too and you wondered if the ground could just swallow you up. The daisy chain was falling apart in your hands much like this life. Zemo held his hand out and you clutched it to your chest, yes it was stupid and the flowers would die by morning but it was yours, and you didn't have much in this world, why the fuck would he take it from you.

“You wish to preserve this, yes?” He asked gently as you nodded and he sauntered off returning with a thick and heavy dictionary, he had lined it with paper and explained the process of pressing flowers, A way to keep Rebecca’s gift forever.

“Thank you.” You told him later on as you crept into Rebecca's room as she listened intently to Zemo, you selected one of her books and wished her a goodnight. Every book you tried to smuggle away from the study disappeared, for whatever reason Zemo didn’t want you reading them, probably thought they could trigger some awful memory, in your defence you did not finish Dracula. Right on cue the knock came on the door and you held your arm out with that bracelet weighing it down and Rebecca’s book was ripped straight from your hand. How were you supposed to continue with this turbulence? Anticipate his ill temper? What could happen in a child’s book that he didn't want you to read? Backing away with your hands in the air, you wondered what you could have possibly done to antagonise him? You hadn't given Zemo any reason to be, well Zemo.

“The princess is kidnapped in this particular story.” Zemo grumbled, yet he remained where he was, outside of your room.

“It’s a kids book, she’ll get rescued right?”

“Actually the princess Belle, falls in love with her captor.” Zemo said through gritted teeth. Victor burst into laughter and you glared at him. There were children’s books promoting this shit? You picked that one of all the ones she had? Fuck Hydra for stealing your childhood, fuck Victor for laughing, fuck Zemo, Fuck all of it. Zemo’s eyes moved in Victor’s direction and you shifted your body just in case. You waited for Zemo to ask if someone was here with you, for him to threaten to kill him, to carve Victor up and serve him to you for breakfast.

“Would you like to read it?”

“Fuck No.” You blurted out, “I mean no thank you.” You quaked, Zemo opened his mouth to reply then shook his head, more at himself, he didn’t even wish you good night, he just drifted off. As soon as he did you pointed a finger in Victor’s face warning him to keep his mouth shut, you didn’t want to know anymore about beauty and the beast.

–

Over breakfast the next morning, Rebecca tugged on your hands and motioned for you to lower yourself down to her level. She kissed her hand and prodded your purple ringed eyes, she was so sweet and kind. A treasure just like Oeznik said. “Magic kisses take all the pain away.” You watched her parrot that lie, back to you as if she truly believed it with all her heart, a lie you taught her and you felt something within you slowly but surely switch off.

Everyone took little pieces and the worst part was that you let them, you sold your soul a long time ago. To endure this, to survive it, you needed to adapt, which became surprisingly easy, especially as you just stopped feeling anything. You didn't feel disgust when Zemo came knocking with those pills, stopped feeling pangs of hunger, even the fear subsided, you became numb to it, apathetic, as if you couldn’t feel anyone there, you didn't care what Zemo did and soon after you stopped finding joy in Rebecca. You tried so hard to bask in her light. How could you enjoy her happiness when her life was a lie? She was in this hell, this prison too. She was blind to it all, you couldn't exactly tell her to open her eyes. Even the glow you once believed Zemo had was diminishing, if he ever had one, it was probably just another figment of your stupidity.

Even your natural fear response to Zemo faded, whenever he would reach out and then quickly retract his hand, you felt nothing. Nothing could hurt you, but that meant nothing could make you happy either, there wasn’t any comfort here, there was just your silence, only speaking if you were directly spoken to, placidly walking head down, through the house that you once believed was paradise, you had both burned that to ruins. You didn’t even find it demoralising when Zemo served everything to you on plastic plates in bite size pieces, no humiliation, just an aching darkness. You didn’t fit in here, but did you really fit in anywhere? Weeks passed with your despondent staring, no more smiles formed on your face, they felt foreign. Waiting for something to bring you back to life. Waiting and the only thing really you expected, was the day Hydra inevitably found you.

You used to be so good at cognitive dissonance, compartmentalising it all into neat boxes, usually marked, ‘it was an accident’ now it had all turned into a swirling pit. A hyperbole, a vacuum of lies, a vortex of pain, a self perpetuating cycle of abuse. This wasn’t living, this was existing, amongst the people you saved, the ones you swore to protect, how could you feel so profoundly alone? By putting everyone else first you had taught yourself that you come second, it was ingrained and you didn’t exactly want to die, but carrying on this way? This was worse than you could have ever imagined.

Zemo was just as bad as you if not worse, sure Rebecca could coax a smile from him, even the intonation of his voice became more empty, but his eyes always travelled to you, the burden, the inconvenience. He always seemed to be searching for something within you? Was it for you to admit you remember? The day you finally snapped? For the black soul that lived within you to take over? The latter was the only real possibility. And then there were the moments you caught his disgust. Which should bother you, but it didn't, you were as disgusted with yourself as he was. A goddess amongst ants, so powerful you were put on a pedestal, causing cities to fall, completely absolved of the responsibility and now you lived in his house, you were everything he hated, you hated yourself more than he ever could. He gave you a wide berth, you had seen his tactics before, but you appreciated that. He became colder and colder, as broken as you were and you loathed yourself for thinking you could have made this work, that it would be easier if you just held his hand. But nothing ever hurt like him. You were bonded by trauma, unhealthily attached to each other. Toxic in the highest form. Sadness etched on his face and a hard exterior that couldn't be penetrated, not that you wanted to, but Zemo was once your everything. There was no going back for him, for either of you, too much had happened, too much loss. Victor reminded you that you were the one who needed saving, Your pain was interminable because of Zemo and he was insipid, intractable.

You knew that.

But the atmosphere of the house was soul wrenching, a black cloud did not crush you, you were the black cloud, dead, empty inside and as infectious as Zemo once called you, you stole the light from everyone. Trapped in a dalliance they couldn't ward off, one you couldn't either. And as meek and as compliant as you were, it only made Zemo hang his head. You wondered who was more of a shadow of who they used to be? Whose gaping wound that would never heal hurt the most? How much longer could you keep this up? How much more could you bottle up? How much longer could you drown, gasping for air? How after another week Zemo could no longer bear to look at you and you could barely open your eyes, through the tormented sleep and hours staring at the fireplace that no longer worked as Victor begged you to kill them all.

There wasn’t any consistency to it all, only the pain. How it hurt, just to breathe. How Zemo had an answer for everything but he couldn't fix this, that you didn’t want him to, that you knew you did this, you deserve a life of misery, that you went back to the one thing you needed to walk away from and in turn were now forcing Zemo to live in this hell too. How every second felt like you were standing on the edge, to keep going or give up, how tired you were of it all, you were even hallucinating your dead mentor, soulmate, whatever he was, imagining he was here, when you knew he couldn't be. Was this survivor’s guilt? The conversations with yourself, the ups and downs and for what? What would it change now? That no matter how much you tried, you would always be the problem.

“Don’t give in, fight back Sweetheart, for me.”

Instead of answering you rolled over in bed and closed your eyes. Keep fighting? What for? There wasn’t anything to fight for anymore.

–

Arriving at the New York division of the Wakandan outreach programme you knew you were supposed to feel something, but it just reminded you that Zemo did this either out of obligation to Wakanda or to you. Guilt, the guilt that Wanda told you would eat them alive and despite your efforts something was eating him alive. Eating all of them alive, you could see it on their faces the moment they saw you. You were losing weight rapidly, face gaunt, eyes sullen, lips chapped, skin discoloured, the only reason your hair was brushed was because of Rebecca, Zemo point blank refused to do your hair, so you tried to match it just by eyeballing what he had done. Bucky looked as if he were ready to force feed and then start world war three. Go ahead.

Unsurprisingly you were placed in a courtyard, with very high brick walls. Bored out of your mind, kicking stones around, shut out again and unable to do anything. You opened the outdoor cabinet to find logs. But then this was New York City, plenty of old buildings, so fireplaces were common. Buildings and houses not as old as Castle Doom but old enough. How long were you expected to be out here? Maybe you could carve something with your nails? Something? Anything? You started to remove all of the logs, even just to count them to pass the time finding an axe at the bottom. Well it was something to do. Your sunglasses could serve as safety goggles, not that you cared. Despite knowing your muscles were weaker, that you were weaker, you brought the axe down.

Over and over.

You managed to split one log into eight before you felt a searing gaze on your neck. Dropping the axe out of your hand, you wondered if you could gaslight Zemo as he had to you. Just say there isn't an axe, you can’t see an axe. Just apologise immediately and he would drop it. Really you weren't trying to piss him off, you imagined the person who left this out here was in for worse than you were.

“Explain yourself.” Zemo demanded.

And you could kind of understand why he was angry, but in your defence you hadn't chopped off your arm and you had enough time, shouldn't you get points for that? Yet Zemo looked incensed as frustrated as he had that morning and that was the moment you realised, you weren't even sure he cared about the axe, he more pissed about what happened earlier.

–

That Morning.

–

Sitting at the kitchen counter as the dining room currently had no table and orange stains on the walls, you patiently waited for Rebecca to finish her egg on toast. Zemo got a phone call and excused himself, you didn't need to look up to know there would be a warning in his eyes, not to touch the cutlery to wait until he returned and he would cut up your breakfast only for you to not eat it. Diminished to such treatment, but it was expected. Picking at your nails, wondering if today would bring anything different to yesterday, you felt a small hand on your thigh, scooching back, Rebecca climbed onto your lap. With her own cutlery she started to cut your toast into neat rows. Three years old and she had some of that etiquette Zemo taught you. She encouraged you to try, pulling your hands to the plate, gently praising you for being able to complete such a simple task. Leaving the toast half finished she climbed back to her own chair, took her cutlery back and hummed happily to herself.

“Why did you help me?” You asked cautiously.

“Helping is the best,” She put one hand on her chest. “Makes my heart all fuzzy and warm.”

Glowing.

You loved her, truly you did, but to watch this, to have to witness the joyful creature she was. It was breaking you down. What had they done? How could they let this happen? Finally, finally, you could say this wasn’t your fault, she was just like you and you weren't even here.

“I’m so sorry Sweetheart.”

Your own plate lifted in front of you, Zemo had come back into the room, you didn’t acknowledge him, you couldn’t stop staring at Rebecca. Even when Zemo asked her to fetch her shoes, your eyes followed her every movement, even when you couldn’t see her, you just stared at the door.

“Sunshine, are you planning to continue starving yourself?”

What? Zemo picked off a small piece of egg with a fork, your stomach flipped so violently, you only just made it to the kitchen sink, retching into it only bringing up bile. Shuddering at yet another mistake, another reason to entice Zemo into violence. “I’m so sorry, I’ll eat it, I promise.”

–

Breakfast, the explanation he wanted, your fingers trailed your lips, tasting the ghost of bile on your tongue, Zemo didn’t make you eat any of it. “I didn’t take Rebecca's cutlery, she thinks I don’t know how to use a knife, I’ll tell her not to help-” You cut yourself off, you were going to cry and you couldn’t let that happen. Trying to convey yet another apology, you returned to the courtyard. Making sure you were as far from the axe as possible, you sat down, putting your head in your hands, you didn’t know how you could carry on. Feeling the air shift as someone plopped down next to you.

“It was hard for me too at first,” Bucky started and you rolled your eyes. Warden number two here to tighten the noose. Yes it must have been extremely difficult, difference was, he got Wakanda, he got endless kindness and more importantly freedom, Shuri let him leave, T’Challa, didn’t monitor his every fucking breath, “It gets better, you just need time,” You didn't need time, you needed something else, you had no idea what that was, and as Bucky kept talking you realised what they were waiting for, they were still waiting for you to come home, No matter how docile you were, compliant, silent, you would never live up that image, you weren't the same person anymore and your presence only exasperated that. Letting him trail off you got to your feet, walking away from Bucky, walking away from this, you found Zemo in the exact same spot he was before, disgust on his face until the mask of an approachable openness slid on as he saw you.

“Can I call Maria?” You huffed out, you didn’t carry that shit phone Zemo gave you anywhere and the one Maria gave you was safely tucked inside your mattress, pretending not to see that refusal flash in his eyes. “Zemo, I have to leave.”

“You, you don’t know what you are saying, you have no idea what’s out there.” Bucky said nervously, planting his hand on your shoulder and you wanted to fucking scream, purposely looking at his hand, you wanted to ask why they both felt comfortable touching you, why they assumed they had an open invitation, tell them both that they should be the ones locked up, that they shouldn't be out in the public, that it horrified you that they were, you were deeply disturbed by them both, that if he didn’t get his fucking hands off you, you were going to make him. That at this point, you didn't care what or who was out there, you would take your chances, because it had to be better than this. Bucky, uncomfortable at your focus on his hand, slipped it off, exhaling you knew you had to get through to Zemo, to convince him and the only real way you could see to do that was through Rebecca. You held your hands out, Zemo’s eyes bounced in between your hands and your eyes, he made a valiant effort not to touch you these days, you nodded, giving him permission, you squeezed his soft scarred hands once they made contact.

“Zemo, Rebecca can see what you are doing. She will look back and remember that you became miserable was the day I appeared. You are withering away, we both are, I can’t do this. You have to let me go.” You looked into his eyes and reflected back at you his own admittance, that he knew you were right. You smiled as much as you could at him, nodding hoping he would puppeteer you, that you would both be on the same page, he relinquished one hand to put in his pocket, to get his phone and you heaved a sigh of relief. That was short lived, when you heard Bucky move closer to you, the hairs on your neck stood on end, you snatched your other hand away from Zemo. Knowing that if Victor were here, he would tell you to scream that you remember, that you remember every last thing, planting your feet ready to push off, to break the door just behind Zemo down, hopefully before he jabbed you with one of those needles.

<”She is going to bolt.”> Bucky whispered.

“SARAH!” You shouted at the suspicious eyes of Zemo and Bucky. They could sedate you in front of Sarah, but she wouldn’t let it go, she was already asking questions, already connecting the dots. She came pounding down the stairs, talking over Zemo and Bucky who no doubt were feeding her a line, you spoke slowly and clearly. “If you have the keys, open the door.” You didn’t even look in her direction, you concentrated on Bucky and Zemo’s feet, you didn’t need to plead with your eyes, she would do it or she wouldn’t.

“Doll, Sarah, DOLL you need to think about this.” Bucky urged. She took a single step towards the door and as Bucky matched her step she screamed for Sam. You wanted to feel guilty at getting everyone involved in this but this was as close as you would ever get to freedom. Still watching Bucky's feet as he was the fastest, tension filtered into the air. All of the children were upstairs alone, yes there were many good people from Wakanda, but was Zemo really ok with that? Lifting your eyes to the ceiling, a thump came from above you all and you dodged out of the way as Zemo and Bucky tore up the stairs. Sarah raced the door, fumbling with the keys in her hand. You wished you had time to tell her how thankful you were. The door opened and as you stepped through it a firm grip stretched around your upper arm. Sarah wasn’t having any of it pushing Sam as hard as she could, she stood in between you, tall and defiant. Sarah knew, she knew there was more going on than she was being told. Standing in between you, Captain America, The Winter Soldier and Baron Zemo.

A fierce bold courageous woman.

“I got this.” Even though she sounded scared, she was sure and ready to fight. You listened to your body, the years it had told you that running was the best option and you didn't listen, fuck you were listening now. You pretty much just used Rebecca as bait and you would be killed for that alone. Taking off down the street you didn’t look back, asking the first person where the closest police station was you kept going, you were going to turn yourself in. Ensure the world was safe from you and you would be safe from Hydra, ask the officers to call Maria. Reaching a small station quickly you were asked to wait until someone was available. You let your head rest back and closed your eyes feeling weary, exhausted.

“Officer, that is the protege of Zebediah Killgrave, remember him?” Sam had burst through the door commanding the room with all the authority of Captain America. Zebadiah? You remembered coming across that name, Mr Purple, a man who terrorised the city, had the ability to manipulate, control and brainwash anyone just with his words. Now that was clever, almost too clever, the perfect way to shut you up, to stop you speaking, because not a person would believe you now or let you talk and as every gun simultaneously lifted aimed in your direction, fuck you wished someone would. “I got this.” Sam growled and grabbed at your upper arm again and you stared daggers at him as he manhandled you back out onto the street.

“Get off me, you asshole.”

“You are the biggest pain in my ass you know, just running off, where are you gonna go?”

Far fucking away. Wrestling against his pull he dragged you into what looked like a very upscale bar, a place you were not dressed for, which was evident by you both being stopped, but Sam bypassed that with a few choice words whispered into the concierge’s ear. Being Captain America really did have its perks. And Sam looked pissed, crazy pissed. Pissed that he would have had to explain how you just wandered off to Bucky and Zemo though you suspected he was more pissed at having to go up against Sarah, truly a force to be reckoned with. The only words you intended to express was a need to speak with Maria. Being poured whisky on a crisp white table cloth, just served as yet another reminder who they wanted back, and how much things had changed.

“Look, I know Zemo is an ass. He can be reasonable, he can, just talk to him.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, despite the fact you had heard Sam say this to you before, but that was in regards to Bucky. Zemo could be all of those things, but not with you. He had no control whatsoever. “Would Steve agree with you?” You jabbed, As Sam’s face dropped you lifted your glass to a toast. “To Captain America, a hero,“ You continued bitterly, “To the man you turn to when all hope is lost, a beacon of light, the hero who is supposed to fight for my freedom.”

Sam didn’t meet your glass he couldn’t, he couldn't be your hope, he couldn't grant your freedom. Lips set into a grim line, he at least looked ashamed. It was a low blow to compare him to Steve, to someone he spent years trying to live up to, lowering the glass, you traced a finger of the rim, still not taking a sip. Sam had not even touched his own whisky. You thought he was more of a beer kind guy, anyway. In fact not even his fingers touched it, made no attempt to even pretend. It was as if you had tunnel vision, zooming into the glass, breathing becoming ragged when it dawned on you. Sam hadn’t touched the whisky, because it wasn’t his drink.

Slamming your hands on the table to high tail it out of here before Zemo arrived you were met with his large hands covering your own, crushing his weight down onto your fingers. You tried to pull away, yank yourself away with the remaining strength you had left. Zemo wasn’t angry, he wasn’t upset, he wasn’t even disappointed, if anything he looked defeated.

“SAM! Sam, I can’t go back, I-” Your mouth fell open at Sam, sitting calmly, a blank look on his face, none of that scared you, no, his molten golden eyes did. “Sam?” You tried, quickly checking Zemo’s eyes weren’t the same, Zemo didn’t look remotely alarmed, if anything he looked flustered, flushed as if he ran here. swinging back to Sam only to see more molten golden dots, servers paused pouring wine, some halted with trays in their arms, patrons mid drink all statuesque. Had time stopped? That question was answered quickly when every single person made their way towards the entrance, including Sam. There was that cement feeling again, pouring over you, unable to move, unable to speak, frozen stiff. Your senses only came back to you when the crowd leaving revealed a tall pale man with a slight smirk on his face, his own molten eyes, with one hand in the hair. Druig. You read about him too, he could control minds. The thought alone of having your mind tampered with like that, being controlled in such a way, would you even be aware of what you were doing? You had to bargain for the best possible outcome. You weren’t even perturbed by thick metal shutters coming down the windows and doors, locking you inside with Zemo.

“Zemo, I’ll do anything you want, anything please, please, don’t do that to me.” You begged.

“Anything?” Zemo questioned, the undertone of what that could mean, a vulgar and vile implication. “You shouldn't make agreements without knowing exactly what is required of you.” Zemo gently lifted his hands as your head started darting around, looking for a way out, looking for Victor, for fucking anything. Zemo didn’t need the house, he never needed the house, he only ever needed himself, that was enough,, to keep you contained. Looking for your last fucking brain cell because you still hadn’t quite got the hang of that. You agreed to leave the raft with Zemo without question. Agreed to go with Victor without hesitation and still here you were agreeing to stupid stupid shit. “Do you really believe anyone can save you now?” Zemo rasped. You didn’t there was no one, what was Zemo about to tell you, you would be serving a lifetime term in the basement? You would never see the light of day again? “The only person capable of such a feat is yourself.”

Not even hearing that last sentence, beginning to hyperventilate. “I’m very very sorry.”

“Stop apologising.” Zemo reached over the bar selecting a bottle of wine. “You have nothing to apologise for. You are not responsible for this.” He held up the bottle for your approval and you stood there slack jawed, what in the fresh fuck did he mean? What did he want? What was this? He poured the deep scarlet liquid into a wine glass, a glass not plastic, keeping himself at arms length he offered it to you with nothing left but his humility. “Sunshine, the war is over, I know when I am beaten. You cannot fight and neither can I, you and Rebecca will be relocating to Wakanda, I'm afraid it may take a few days-”

You held your hand up stopping him, there was no way you heard him right. “You're abandoning her? Handing her off? To a stranger?” Voice embellished so he understood, that is exactly what your parents did to you. As Zemo opened his mouth to defend himself, you continued. “Where will you be?”

“I will be turning myself in for my crimes against you, Maria will make the appropriate arrangements.”

He might just be the worst person you had ever met, leaving Rebecca with you, a stranger, handing her over so easily. A malevolent smile spread across your face, reaching out for the wine you sat down. You let the wine slide down your throat in triumph, you had him, he could say whatever he wanted, only now the bruises around your eyes had faded. There wasn’t a mark on your body, he didn't have anything to corroborate his story and most importantly, Maria would believe you. “Call Maria, I'll even speak to her for you.”

Zemo’s lips pursed. “I watch your animated corpse wander my halls, you die everyday. I am detrimental to you. You have become hyper vigilant, not prioritising your basic needs, reactive, distorted negative beliefs about yourself. You are in survival mode and I must concede. It would be negligent of me to allow this to continue. I have to force you, force you to choose yourself.” All you could hear was his devastation, for the situation you were in, for where you both were now. “I talk myself in circles searching for compromises for your freedom. I can only apologise for my behaviour, I will never forgive myself, my transgressions are extensive, endless. I have made many mistakes in my life, they all pale in comparison to you.” Zemo stumbled over his words. Zemo of all people. ”You remind me of what I am. A depraved and cruel man, in Wakanda, you can-”

“Rebecca loves you, you can't leave her.”

“Rebecca is safe, loved, happy. Your needs surpass hers.”

“I don’t care.”

“I am aware of that. That's the crux of it, Sunshine, you do not care enough about yourself to see.” Zemo said exasperated, beaten down, the mask he always had slipped he looked just as fragile as you were. “You’re screaming, watching you torment yourself, it breaks me, my very soul, I couldn’t have envisioned a life so…. I want so much for you Sunshine, so much more than this.”

As the silence stretched between you, you saw that Zemo left his coat behind, his sword, stripped bare of his armour, of his weapons. His pallor looked that of a sickly man, pasty, as if he had just vomited himself, or came down from a panic attack, he looked vulnerable, scared even. Resigned and hopeless, as if his emotions would spill over at any moment.

“You don't trust everyone in Wakanda enough to GIVE AWAY your daughter.”

“I trust several individuals with Rebecca, she is not as reckless as I find you to be. She does not have a natural trepidation for danger. You truly have an incredible resolve, a passionate stubborness that cannot be tamed. So tell me Sunshine, what do you suggest?” Was Zemo giving you carte blanche? Letting you decide what happens from now on? You didn't know how to answer, you had never dreamed of your future, somehow you knew you wouldn't be the person choosing it. “I suspect you haven't ever had the opportunity to dictate your own life? What do you want?”

“I want to be free” But I know I can't be.

“ I understand your desire to have that Sunshine, I do. There are external forces at play. As a result of my actions, of my history there is a high possibility that you will be targeted.” Zemo sounded so wounded, a deep sense of morose in his tone. “Allow me to be candid, I am mentally unstable, I have let's refer to it as control issues. I have become fixated on you, unhealthy so. It is as if every emotion I have is directed at you, my feelings are incomprehensible. I feel as though I cannot live without you, I know that is incredibly unfair However I must ensure you are protected.”

“I’ll go to Wakanda, just me.” You relented.

“Sunshine-”

“NO.”

“Would you be open to a negotiation?” Zemo forever in a position of power wasn't used to being defied, let alone forced to compromise, it just wasn't something that happened you could hear that now in his words as they rattled in your mind. Negotiate with a terrorist, now that you would be willing to try your hand at, negotiate with Zemo? You can’t be negotiated with.

“I swear I am open to this discussion, we can establish new rules.” Zemo tried. No. “I promise that I can and will strive to be less intolerable.” he urged. No. “I vow to, I assure you I take my vows very seriously.” He said sincerely. I bet you do, the answer is still no. Zemo looked pained, took the last sip of his whisky and shook his head sadly, a desperate smile ghosted his lips. Even he knew that him being reasonable was implausible.

“I give you my word.”

That got your attention, something shifted between you. Victor gave his word and his word was binding, absolute. Zemo was attempting to give you a sense of security, even if it meant invoking Victor. “Start over, not afresh as such but with experience.” Just as you originally intended, you could fight with Zemo everyday or just coexist. You didn't agree on anything, but that wasn't a new sensation. Start over? It was only fair to see if Zemo could in fact be agreeable.

“Take this off.” You let your wrist fall to the table with a loud clatter, you wanted that torture device off, immediately. And yet Zemo did not seem to receptive of your demand, the first hurdle and he failed.

“That device allows me to see your pulse, I take great comfort in knowing that your heart beats.”

“Can’t I wear a fitness watch?”

“That is an excellent idea.” Zemo smiled. “Anything else?”

“I don’t want to take the pills, I want any and all cameras gone, I want the age restriction taken off netflix.”

“There are no cameras inside our home whatsoever. I think the rest goes without saying.”

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore.” You admitted.

“The last few years have hardened me, changed me, so much one hardly recognises oneself. A hardship I believe you understand all too well. Fear is your companion now, that is my fault. I am unable to take that from you Sunshine, I desperately wish I could. Know that I will never give you a reason to fear me, not ever again.”

“You actually believe you can do this?”

“James can hear a slight strain on your heart.” Zemo's eyes became glassy. “ It is not a matter of choice, I know that if I do not, you will die.”

You shook your head at yourself, because you believed him, after everything you believed him, trusted in every word he said. You looked at him, you just looked at him and wondered if it was even possible? Wanting to drown in his optimistic eyes and drown you would, one way or another. Zemo pushed the edge of your half empty, half full crystal glass towards you. Wine? Well something had to give you the courage, to agree to try again, to find your way back to some semblance of life, to have even a single shred of hope.

“I must be out of my fucking mind.”

–

Zemo pulled the fire alarm to open the door, an escape, a safety precaution, so simple yet concealed. He informed you that the bar was one of his many establishments, Zemo also invested in commercial property. You and Victor never looked for that, only for any new residential property. Finding a crowd of mindless zombies walking in central park, you kept your distance from Druig. According to Zemo he turned on his own kind for humanity, he valued that above everything else, Zemo also told you Druig would never ever be permitted to control your mind.

“I told you Zemo would come around if you talked to him.” Sam worriedly looked at you both, not quite believing his own words.

"And he is still an asshole.” You said firmly and very loudly, hearing Druig chuckle as he walked off.

“I am.” Zemo agreed wholeheartedly. And off you both went to find a fitness watch, you selected the cheapest one, blue in colour to not show any detection or preference for any colour from your past. Zemo purchased the most expensive black one, which he set up as you sat on a bench on Wall Street. Taking tiny nibbles of a burrito Zemo brought you, annoyed you just got another lump of sauce on the large sunglasses, you decided of your own volition to ask one of the many questions in your mind.

“I have to wear the cap and glasses, Sam does, Bucky does. Why don’t you?”

Zemo eyebrows pinched, he shuffled himself along the bench, creating a bigger space between you, surveying the hustle of New York, he cleared his throat and adopted as much of a carefree tone as he could. “I want my enemies to find me.”

No more burrito, you appreciated that he was honest, but you knew what happened when Zemo met his enemies. There were a million more questions you wanted to ask, but did you really want the answers? Did you want to watch him lie to you? You offered him the remainder of your burrito and to your shock he took a bite.

“Burrito guy is kind of cute, can I run away with him?” You said playfully, wanting to change the subject while watching Zemo to see if you could make him choke on his food. Zemo’s eyes lifted to you with a glint, he was amused that you were bold enough to say such a thing. He turned his attention to the man tending to his food cart. Crouching down to sort his supplies, napkins, chilli sauce, a pigeon swooped down and pecked at the onions and the man didn’t even look up, the pigeon flew away unnoticed. Hardly an acceptable candidate to keep you safe.

“Absolutely not.” Zemo said through laughter. Walking back to the outreach centre you noticed Zemo managed to ward enough anyone in your path with a single look in their direction, you must be the only person in New York City who wasn’t bumped into. Zemo walked ahead of you into the courtyard, picking up the axe and holding it out to you.

“Your life is your prerogative Sunshine. I do need to ask you for a favour, well two actually.” Taking the axe you narrowed your eyes, here it was the catch. “Firstly please refrain from cutting off your limbs.” He said that with a smile he reserved for when he had to be polite and he didn’t want to be. " Please be kinder to yourself.”

–

Zemo shook you awake once you arrived back, you didn’t know if it was the vibrations of the car, or just that the never ending tension in your spine had dulled slightly. Or if it was that Zemo made a point to tell you exactly where you were going before you just woke up in a new place. You did wonder what you had done? if you made the right choice? Rebecca was sleeping too, Zemo had been out in the city and didn't arrive back until late to take you both home. Could this place ever be your home?

Zemo gently pulled Rebecca from the car, rested her head on his shoulder and walked away from the house. You trailed next to him in silence knowing he was walking towards the pond, which now had a bench installed. The moon glittered on the surface as you heard the leaves rustle in the wind. Rebecca’s face squished against Zemo’s chest, slightly frowning as he sat down, he didn't speak until you sat down too.

“I lost someone very dear to me recently.” Zemo spoke lowly, moving Rebecca’s hair out of her face. “I always believed they guided me to be better, to do better, I’m not sure they ever did,” Me? “A gentle soul, saw the good in everyone including myself.” Zemo laughed ironically, knowing how much of a mistake that was for you. “The only person to call me out on my bullshit so blatantly.” Zemo smiled as if he remembered something specific, you wondered what it was. “I don’t know why I feel obligated to tell you this, I did not think it possible to die of a broken heart, “ Zemo's voice shook. “He did.”

He?

Oeznik

Zemo shifted slightly to reveal a plaque engraved with his name, a lump formed in your throat that constricted all of your air, wedged there to prevent the oncoming explosion.

“The loss of Rebecca’s mother tore him apart, the years without her, he missed her terribly, he devoted himself to Rebecca in her honour.” Zemo stood taking controlled breaths through his mouth. “Oeznik would have adored you too.”

Your heart lurched, you snapped your jaw shut and clenched your teeth as Zemo silently laid his coat on the bench and walked away. It must have taken everything he had to have kept walking, the gutteral noise that tore from you, even you never wanted to hear again. Inconsolable tears of grief poured out of you. Crying so much you thought your chest was being ripped open. Your skull shook with sobs as your hand traced his name, swearing you would do anything to bring him back. The wailing into the night just wishing he were here, crying harder when you thought about how he would console you, which only made your heart ache more.

The sun rose as your cries turned into hiccups. As you tried to steady your breaths to stop your diaphragm spasming, you felt lighter, there was something cathartic about crying, something freeing about letting it all out, even if just for one night, you sat up when you heard leaping footsteps and the giggles of your daughter running towards you, straight past, jumping without any fear at all into the pond. She emerged squealing, as you raced to the edge. Zemo waded in until he had to start swimming too. Of course she could swim, she was Zemo’s daughter, if she couldn’t he would have had the pond filled. Slipping off your shoes and paddled over to her as she encouraged you over, She was more confident in the water than you, probably a stronger swimmer. She wrapped her arms around your neck and moved her face to your ear.

“Careful of the crocodiles.”

–

After hours in the pond where Rebecca herself played the crocodile, she gave up when squirrels descended on you all, waiting patiently at Oeznik's bench for her to emerge. The nuts you ate earlier that month were for the squirrels who took them directly from her hand, then would scurry off to bury them. When she started to shiver she placed a hand on the bench and looked up into the sky with a bright smile on her face, she whispered Schatzi to herself. Which Zemo told you meant treasure. Just when you thought you couldn’t want Oeznik back anymore. Even after Rebecca was in dry clothes and bundled in blankets she shivered, She cosied up to Zemo and it wasn’t long until her eyes fluttered closed, tiring herself out from chasing after you all morning. Soon after that Zemo closed his eyes rhythmically stroking her hair, just as he used to with yours.

“Fine, even I’ll admit that's adorable.” Victor gritted as you watched them, It was moments like this you needed to hold onto. You hovered closeby, watching both their chest rise and fall, as they slept soundly. They say people know when they are being watched Zemo certainly did, the moment his eyes twitched, you rushed to grab his hands, recalling Oeznik's demonstration of waking a sleeping soldier. You quickly realised his instincts as a father were stronger, you flinched away with an apology. Apprehensive at being alone with Zemo, you felt the need to busy yourself, you moved towards the hallway.

“I need to return these to you.” Zemo said as he caught up, in his hands were the shoes Sarah brought with her, shoes with laces, no guesses for why they were taken from you. “I have some other purchases in the dining room.”

Purchases? Zemo provided everything here which you hated, you never felt comfortable taking his money, but you didn’t have much choice in the matter. Opening the door, you were greeted with every type of pillow available to mankind, square shaped, U shaped, V shaped, memory foam, cotton, firm, soft. Every type of blanket, comforter, duvet imaginable. Bed sheets with such a high thread count you weren’t sure it was possible.

“You are reluctant to sleep, perhaps you had something like this before? Do you feel drawn to any particular item?”

No? You just felt uncomfortable being put on the spot, on having to select something, when you had enough difficulty with everything as it was. You felt awkward that Zemo was trying to take care of you again, nervous to accept it, worried that none of this would ever make you feel comfortable in a bed again, remembering the last time Zemo wanted to take care of you, he built you a house, you started to scratch the palm of your hand.

“Sunshine. The very idea of me caring for you makes your skin crawl, these items are for you to care for yourself.” Zemo said with an air of authority. Piled over the chairs that remained in here, as there wasn’t a table yet, were stacks of long sleeve baggy t-shirts, more leggings, thick fluffy socks.

“I have clothes.” You uttered.

“Clothing that was purchased in an emergency, they are all polyester.” Zemo said dismissively with just a touch of disgust.

“To be fair I didn’t let you wear that either.” Victor added. Let me? Victor looked back at you unashamed matching Zemo's expression. Polyester was beneath both of them.

“I have marked a line in the bathtub as an indicator for the water.” Zemo handed you a wrapped waterproof pillow. “If you use this in combination, it will be very difficult to slip under.” Zemo encouraged. “And micro fibre towels, they are kinder to your skin, some basic skincare too.” Zemo said shyly. Nothing could save your skin, you highly doubted a towel would and there wasn’t a miracle cream out there. “I would suggest trying the weighted blanket, supposedly it aids sleep.” As overwhelmed as you were, you saw the weighted blanket for what it was, a substitute for your cloak. Zemo was willing to put aside his unbridled hate for Victor for you. “And a Loro Piana coat.” Zemo’s pitch went up, this was something he was more comfortable with, holding up the coat to you. It was an exact replica of the coat he had made for you, the emerald green coat, only this one was black. Your favourite colour. Was Zemo accepting of it now? Or would he rather you never wear emerald green again? “A new phone, the one I gave you originally is,” Zemo paused, thinking what to say. A blatant intrusion of privacy? just as you imagined this ‘new’ one would be too, “broken.” Zemo smiled, “and a new bedroom.”

“Why?”

“The master bedroom is…. can feel too large, empty at times. You will be taking the room next to Rebecca, the fireplace is still functional.”

Lips quirking just at the thought of getting the fireplace back. Maybe being closer to Rebecca would make you feel more at peace, maybe there was some merit in the weighted blanket, maybe choosing your own bedding up would help. And if not then it wasn’t like you would be losing anything more. Side eyeing Victor to make sure he would be moving to the new room with you, you agreed.

“Sunshine,” Zemo cleared his throat uncomfortably. “There is the possibility that you shared your bed before, you might be missing that comfort?”

With you? That was years ago?

“No no Sweetheart. Your darling husband thinks you shared a bed with me.”

Staring at Zemo with wide unbelieving eyes and a sneer forming on your face, you decided to make it very clear that was not the case. “I don’t even remember having a bed.” You quipped. The only time in your life that you did was with Bucky and Zemo; you had never been afforded such a luxury at other times. Zemo frowned, trying to understand, he knew you had a bed, he was tortured by the memories of your body against his. As despicable as he found Victor he wouldn’t have forced you to sleep on the floor, he would need to consult with Maria. You both heard the excited footsteps of a tiny human approach and you were glad Rebecca was right on time.

“Look!” Rebecca chimed, whipping round only to fall back into Zemo, not to find solace in his arms, to get as far away as you could from the incredibly large spider that was at least half the size of Rebecca's head crawling up her arm. “It tickles.” She hummed. IT TICKLES!

“Rebecca, maybe you should take your friend outside?” You shrilled. Pushing yourself further back and into Zemo, who kept moving back himself, trying to keep that distance between you. Rebecca moved closer with the spider in the air with two hands and it was bigger, than both her little hands. You swore the wretched thing heard your thoughts, he happily crawled back up Rebecca’s arm and onto her face, her eyes followed still sparkling and you were ready to set the house of fire. Reaching back, you clutched the collar of Zemo’s shirt and pushed him in front of you. Get that thing off her now! Zemo laughed at you, he actually laughed and you would have punched him, had he not let the spider crawl off Rebecca's face into his hands.

“I find it inexplicable that you are frightened of spiders.”

Unable to keep your eyes off its eight hairy legs, it’s black round eyes that you swore were looking at you. “I’m, I’m not scared.” You lied, grasping onto the walls, trying to climb them yourself. Zemo and Rebecca both looked at each other then turned on you, both stifling mocking giggles. “Here is what we are going to do,” You took a small side step keeping your eyes on the creature that Zemo was happy to let wander on his form. “We are all going to walk very slowly to the front door. Then Rebecca you are going to hold Mr spider just for a second, Zemo you open the door and I’ll run,” You took another step indicating for them to follow. “Then you will walk, far, far, far away from the house and let him go.” You continued side stepping, until you reached the door holding up a hand, you didn’t want that thing any closer. Rebecca happily took the spider, Zemo repressed yet another derisive smile as he slowly walked towards you.

“What are you waiting for!”

“Sunshine, are you not capable of opening a door by yourself?” He whispered. No, not this door, not in this house, you know it’s a prison. Zemo, please! He gestured for you to try. Hearing a very subtle click as your hand made contact with the knob, it recognised your fingerprints. Zemo understood that you needed to be able to open doors freely, to always have some form of escape, not complete freedom, but it certainly made you feel less trapped. You swung the door and ran knowing you should feel appreciation for being able to freely be outside without permission or Zemo, but you were too busy, rubbing your hands over your body, that spider might have friends.

–

You all made homemade pizza together for dinner. Zemo told you that if you prepared your own food, you would be able to trust he hadn't laced it with anything. Pizza his way of showing you he was compromising. Grated cheese littered the floor, Rebecca's hands were covered in tomato sauce that she routinely licked off her fingers. She selected only red peppers as her topping as it was her favourite and you wondered how immoral it would be to manipulate her to prefer a new colour. You moved your cloak and daisy chain to your new room, your most treasured possessions, as Rebecca went down for the night, you contemplating starting a fire when Zemo knocked on your door.

“Sunshine,” Zemo said firmly. “I am the prisoner now, I am no stranger to incarceration. I will be either in my room or office and I will seek permission to move between the two.” Zemo looked over your head, seeing that you had not yet made your bed, having only selected some sheets, not even a pillow. He didn’t show any emotion on his face even though you expected disappointment. "I will not encroach on your private space again. Goodnight Sunshine.”

Free roam? Well as much as Zemo could allow and as tempting as it was and as much as you should get a true layout of the house, you knew that opening doors here, just wasn’t in your best interest. You didn’t know what they would lead to, what you would see, you concluded some doors should remain closed. This house, this prison used to be a shelter and yes you would have to ignore what lay beneath. It wasn’t a lie, you weren't swallowing the truth, you knew the basement was just under your feet. Finding yourself in the kitchen, you started to put away the tornado from the pizza’s. Washing the chopping boards, plates, bowls, leaving the knives exactly where they were. There was no reason to rock the boat and honestly you weren't sure if you trusted yourself.

“Sweetheart, You are better than this. These asinine tasks? Don’t-”

“Achievements are achievements, no matter how small.” You told me that.

“Doing the dishes is not an achievement.” Victor growled. Says who? You? Zemo? Bucky? I have to fill the time with something Victor, I’m already halfway to insane. Now you knew there weren't cameras, you could talk out loud, even if were all they would see was you talking to yourself, arguing with yourself, which you felt as if you had been doing all your life. You ewminded Victor that he envied you for your being so adaptive, you had to be again, find a new way to live. If that meant doing the housework then so be it. Even if it could quieten your mind for just ten minutes you would do it. Drying the chopping board, only to realise you didn’t know where it was kept now, the kitchen wasn’t the same. Opening cupboards, pulling out a mixer, a blender, a rolling pin, removing utensils, plates, champagne glasses, whisky tumblers, a slow cooker. Before you knew it every cupboard was empty, you stood amongst the chaos, ready to begin again.

–

“Oh no!”

What's wrong?

Lifting your head with a groan to Rebecca standing in the doorway of the kitchen with her hands over her mouth, hair all messy and a nightie just slightly lopsided. Her golden eyes rounded as she took the scene in. Which meant you had to look at what she could see, you needed more than a second to fully come to your senses, feeling the indented lines from the mixer across your face, you feel asleep hunched over it.

“I’ll clear it up.” You rushed out, half of the contents of the kitchen was still splayed across counters, haphazardly thrown across the island, scattered across the floor.

Zemo didn’t show a single emotion on his face. “No, your task is not completed.” Zemo lifted Rebecca up, carefully took a step into the kitchen. Setting Rebecca down on the island, he picked up the first bowl he laid his eyes on and asked you to pass the cereal, which was in the far corner of the room. Navigating through this mess was easy for you, you had been doing it unknowingly all your life, it was easy for Zemo too as he joined you. “Sunshine, please make this your home. If you need to rearrange the kitchen, anywhere do so. If you need to tear this house apart brick by brick, do so. If you need to flatten cities, I will be by your side."

Unsure that you heard him and not another on of Victor's tirades, you had to check.“You would watch as I flatten cities?”

“No I would show you precisely how to execute such an idea.” Zemo insisted as if he weren't trying to disparage you. Victor’s smile widened significantly, just want you needed Victor in one ear begging you to kill everyone and Zemo in the other handing you a gun. No one is flattening cities. You had both seen and lived the consequences of that. It was a once in a lifetime event. You thrust the cereal into Zemo's chest and he had the nerve to look hurt that you rejected his idea.

“No one is doing that ever again.” You said out loud, ensuring that he understood that it was in no way permission for him to do such a thing either. Zemo gave a weak nod and backed off. Victor opened his mouth to plead with you and you gave him a warning glance as Zemo’s back was turned. “How, how does this house even work? If it is totally off the grid how do you pay for electricity and water?” You asked.

“I siphon it all from a farmer down the road," Zemo said casually, trying to make sense of the tangle in Rebecca’s hair as she ate her cereal sitting crossed legged on the island. His offhandedness about it, that it was completely acceptable to steal and not have it bother him at all. “Ethel and I have an agreement. I purchase her eggs for $500 a piece.” Zemo added. It wasn’t like you could argue, that price was beyond extortion, but then Zemo had a fully functioning house and her silence. Zemo took you over there, Ethel smacked him upside the head, which Zemo responded in kind by smiling politely and handing her a wad of bills.

“I imagine that was a parting gift from Oeznik, he had many more dealings with her.”

You laughed Oeznik was still here, even if it was in the form of putting Zemo back in his place. As Rebecca’s bed time loomed and you dreaded being without her, you pilfered her rest and were rewarded with her cheeky smiles. Stealing a marshmallow from Zemo’s hot chocolate you put a finger to her lips and her eyes dazzled. Purposely looking away you watched Zemo do the same to your hot chocolate out of the corner of your eye, putting his finger to his lips as if he turned a key, to keep Rebecca quiet, which she was incapable of doing. She was snorting to herself, delving into such a fit of giggles, she could barely breathe, tears sprang to her eyes and yours. That was it, right there, your favourite sound in the world, and for a moment, for just one moment, everything felt worth it.

–

You were brutally woken up by a tennis ball to the head, so discombobulated you were shocked you caught the second one only through intuition, through years of Victor's training and conditioning. Holding the bright green ball in your hand, waiting for your mind to comprehend what the hell was going on, you jumped at the clearing of a throat. To see Zemo standing in your doorway, tennis ball in his hand resting at his side. Now your mind had a second to catch up, you recalled the memory of your skin being torn off, a nightmare, one Zemo woke you from, without violating his rule, he would never enter your room. Giving him a weak and embarrassed thank you, you pulled yourself out of bed, ready to wash the sticky sheen of sweat from yourself.

Zemo reminded you to carry our new phone with you and not leave it in the bedroom as Sarah had to call him when you didn’t answer. You didn’t trust that he wasn’t looking at the new phone as he had with the old one, you also hated it because it sent you an alert for every single threat across the globe, something Sarah told you Sam and Bucky’s phone did, to be kept in the loop, Victor talked you though turning those off and they still came. Sarah was only trying to contact you because she said you were making dinner together by video call, accidentally saying it was to fill your time and almost slipping up that you both used to do this together. After Rebecca was settled in for the night both you and Zemo headed to the kitchen, propping up your phone against the coffee machine as it brewed a very late coffee, which Zemo gave you free reign of.

Happy to see Sarah more at ease with you on the small screen, she was just as delighted to see that your eyes weren’t so sullen, that you didn’t look so haggard, that you didn’t have that look in your eyes of wanting to immediately run away. Lasagne was on the menu and you had to remind yourself to not gather all of the ingredients to wait for Sarah’s instruction, patiently waiting for Zemo to begin chopping garlic. You were astounded when he passed you the knife and the chopping board. Unsurprisingly he lingered dangerously close, watching your every move, as if his being this close to a knife and near you wasn’t bad enough, you felt suffocated by him, looking over your shoulder instead of the task at hand. He had encouraged you to tell him what was wrong at any given moment, to point out his failures was his exact wording so you muted yourself from Sarah.

“Rebecca’s asleep, shouldn’t you be in your room?” You reminded Zemo.

“This is a compromise Sunshine, I am only this close to ensure you do not drive that knife into your heart.” Into my heart? Yes you supposed there was always the chance but while on a video call with Sarah? Your eyes flickered to Sarah and Zemo shifted slightly away, not nearly enough, but he did move, chucking a handful more of garlic cloves onto the chopping board. “Garlic is measured by the heart.” Zemo chimed.

“You have one of those?” You jabbed while pointing the knife in his direction, he just smiled fondly at you as Sarah started to tap the screen, she was trying not to do so frantically, but the look in her eye gave her away. Another alert on your phone only caused you to narrow your eyes further.

“Those alerts are to keep you informed, you need to be aware of the goings on in the world.” Zemo stated. He wanted you to be aware now, instead of having the wool pulled over your eyes as before, to give you as much intel as he possibly could. I don’t want to know. “I will have Shuri remove them.” Zemo acquiesced. Taking Sarah off mute, you continued making the dish, whenever the knife was in your possession Zemo struggled not to breathe down your neck, otherwise he let you and Sarah chat, even stretching your leg up to show her, the shoes she got you, putting the dish in the oven you waved Sarah goodbye.

“Could we discuss improvements?” Zemo said uncertainty. What improvements? For lasagne? He added the garlic? No, he meant improvements for you, he still expected you to get better.

“I’m not going to improve.” You starting taking it back as soon as you saw the rise of his eyebrows. “I mean, of course I can, just tell me what to do.”

“The improvements are for me Sunshine. Your well being is paramount to me.” Zemo said solemnly at your reaction, the instantaneous fear response that you couldn't quite shake. “Your efforts do not go unnoticed.” Zemo said, trying to steer to conversation away from anything that might send you into a spiral. “In a few days I will need to fetch supplies, is there anything you need?”

“Who is staying with us?” You asked, ready to prepare yourself for a new guest, a new person who would be witness to your screams in the middle of the night. You couldn’t be left alone, you were a liability, a risk to everyone, including Rebecca.

Zemo’s eyebrows pinched. “I am quite talented at reading people, I know that if anything were to happen you would guard Rebecca with your life. Do not let your insecurities cloud your ability to care for her. My only concern is that you will be alone with the thoughts that plague you, I will retrieve the necessities during the day.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” You voiced and Zemo opened his mouth to argue, closing it shut rapidly seeing that you weren't ready, you weren't sure if you ever would be.

“The secondary fridge is well stocked,” Before you could ask where that was, Zemo answered, “Behind the blanket storage.” Zemo smiled ruefully. A fridge? Not a torture chamber? That did sound like something Zemo would do, you saw the insane lengths he went to in Louisiana, that he built a house underneath the actual house, you could all probably live down there for a few months, probably live here for a few years, given the chance, that was more than like Zemo’s ideal, in one place that couldn't be penetrated, he would call it safe, even if it was a prison.

“Sorry, it must feel like you are taking care of two children.” You said sadly. Zemo didn’t respond to that, not yet anyway. He slid a plastic card over to you, untraceable you presumed. “I don’t want your money.”

“The funds in this account did not come from me, they came from a woman called Pepper Potts.”

You choked on thin air, Pepper Potts, wife of Tony Stark Pepper Potts? Composing yourself, you had to maintain an air of ignorance. You were not supposed to know who either of those people were. Zemo refrained from rubbing your back, to get you through the small trembling coughs that were still spluttering from you.

“Financial freedom, or at the very least an attempt of it, I tried to be diligent in..” Zemo trailed off. “Pepper and I had a video conference, she is aware of your situation. She watched her husband torment himself, believing he was the only one capable of protecting the world. She understands that desire to shield, to conserve.. Sunshine just take it.” Zemo sighed. The desire to shield, like Tony had with the world, for his daughter Morgan, for his wife Pepper. The same burning need Zemo felt to protect you and Rebecca. Zemo reminded Pepper of Tony, that must have been a difficult conversation. You were shocked Pepper even agreed to talk to Zemo. You asked for her number to thank her, which you did by text. You doubted you would ever get a response, Pepper exiled herself and lived a life of seclusion, just as you were doing. Not that you ever needed to use the money, you knew Zemo well enough to know he would make sure you didn't need to.

“Two children?” Zemo wondered aloud, looking into the darkness outside. “One is astounding, the very embodiment of how I know that somewhere in my depraved life, I did one thing right. See’s the good in everyone, sometimes I believe she is too pure for this world.” Zemo said sadly, his thumb stroking the back of his golden wedding band. “The very reason I wish the world would change its heart, so she doesn’t have to change for it.” Zemo said wistfully, it was the perfect way to describe Rebecca. Zemo looked directly at you. “And the other one is sleeping upstairs.”

“I’m not like that.” Not anymore.You said blinking back the burn from the tears forming in your eyes, heartbroken that Zemo had any faith left in you at all.

“I have a gut feeling you were born that way.”

Next Part: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31451681/chapters/119611552

#zemo #zemo x reader #zemo x you #dark!zemo #dark zemo #dark #dr doom #bucky

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six-demon-bag · 1 year

Text

Betrayed

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Helmut Zemo

Summary: Secrets come out, things are broken.

Rating: Mature

Tags: Emotional Manipulation, Betrayal, Discord: WinterBaron, Mpreg, Reveal, Angst, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Break Up, dark!Zemo, saddest bucky, watch me crush him, plot goblin, Nebulous Zemo Parole Universe | Helmut Zemo Paroled from the Raft

Word count: 2332

Updated Link!! I turned this into all one fic: pregananant

Excerpt:

“Stay away from me,” Bucky yells, gesturing angrily across the room at Zemo. “Stay away from my family!” “I won’t be separated from my children,” Zemo snarls, a madness lighting his eyes Bucky hasn’t seen since Siberia. “Your children ?” Bucky growls back, incensed. “You only have one child.” He lays a protective hand over the slight curve of his belly, glaring at Zemo. “Children,” Zemo repeats with a poisonous smile. “George is mine too. You can’t take my son from me.”

#winterbaron #betrayal #sad bucky #mpreg #manipulation #series #wip #dark zemo #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #zemo #ao3 #fic #fanfic #sixdemon fic

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mypoisonedvine · 4 months

Text

𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙯𝙫𝙤𝙪𝙨 | helmut zemo x reader

@radmerrmaid requested a drabble with zemo and enemies to lovers. what happened is a whole oneshot. don't ask me how.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: DUBCON SMUT, enemies to lovers/hate sex, rough sex including hair pulling, degradation and name calling, restraint, a slap, and overstimulation, touchstarved reader, unspecified age gap, very mild violence (hand-to-hand combat and a mention of a previous gunshot wound), kidnapping, soft!dark zemo?

"It must drive you crazy," he purred, wrapping his fingers carefully around the crystal glass before picking it up. "Seeing me like this."

He smirked around his sip of bourbon— at least you figured it was bourbon— as you tried to keep a poker face. You didn't like the idea of being seen as crazy at all, let alone because of him. "Like what?" you pressed instead of admitting to it.

"Free," he shrugged. "Out of that cage you worked so hard to keep me in."

"Getting you there was my job," you corrected with a frown. "If keeping you there was mine, too... you'd still be in it."

He laughed lightly, if briefly, and shook his head. "Still so prideful. You're young, and you have something to prove."

"I have nothing to prove to you," you asserted, shifting your weight on your hips— it was sort of uncomfortable to keep standing, but it felt wrong to take a seat even though he'd offered you one when you entered. It seemed like a sign of trust. Not that he should be surprised by you acting aloof, when he'd offered to meet you here without even explaining why.

"No, not to me," he agreed, setting the glass down again and taking one step closer to you. "To your friends at the CIA."

He seemed to emphasize every letter of the acronym, a playful condescension in his tone. "Friends is a funny way to say it," you rolled your eyes, "like I do what I do because I want to be popular, and not because I want to keep the world safe."

"Safe from me," he added, "the evil terrorist. Right?"

You ignored his question, not really wanting to dignify it with an answer— or start some spiel about how you don't really believe in evil people, just actions that merit punishment, bla bla bla...

"Yet, you couldn't keep yourself safe from me," he went on, raising one eyebrow as he examined you. "Or, you can't. Here you are— alone, as I asked."

Obviously, you had tried to imagine some way you could have back-up for this, even just tell someone where you were going. But this was Zemo's turf, and he had eyes and ears all over the city... he would know if you tried to turn this into a sting. Instead, you only hoped to gain some sort of information tonight that you could use to track him down when he tried to run again.

"You're more trusting than I suspected," he smirked, gaze darkening a bit. "Or, more desperate."

"Maybe the right word is 'curious'," you proposed. "Clearly, you have something to discuss with me."

"I do," he nodded. "A question to ask you-- one I feel only you can answer."

You waited for him to ask it, but even just the way he sucked in a sharp breath made you realize he was going to bore you with some preamble first— just like him, really..

"You see, after evading you so many times—"

"Narrowly," you interjected.

"Maybe some times," he shrugged, smiling, "other times, I think I had plenty of room. But that's besides the point... the point is, here I am. I've probably bested you for the last time—"

"That's not—"

"Ah ah, no interrupting, please," he scolded gently. "I know you know that if I can keep a low profile here, your organization has no hope of getting me back. I simply have too many resources, and your superiors know my risk is relatively low. No?"

Again, you refused to answer, but the way you crossed your arms tighter and glanced away seemed to serve as enough of an agreement.

"So that's it— I'm free. It should be so simple," he sighed. "So, why am I disappointed?"

You furrowed your brows, staring at him in confusion. You were waiting for him to say something to give context to that, but he didn't— he only waited for your response with an earnest look. "Why... are you asking me that?" you wondered.

"Because you're the person who knows me best."

You'd never thought of it like that, and it was such a jarring idea that you began to shake your head almost instantly. "No, that... that doesn't seem right..."

"I figured you would take pride in it," Zemo grinned. "You tracked me for years, studied me, learned my habits... I had to do the same to escape you. I must know you better than anyone else."

"That's ridiculous," you scoffed. "What are you trying to say?"

"I just hoped you could tell me why I feel this way— why I feel so wrong about never seeing you again."

Your chest tightened. You couldn't bear to meet his gaze; your stomach felt sick and strange and you just wanted to run out of there, but what good would that do? You needed him to tell you something you could use, one last chance to catch him before it was too late.

"If I didn't know you so well, and hate you so much," he went on, "I wouldn't have the energy to keep running. And me? I'm your biggest case. Sometimes you act like I'm your only case. What is it about me, that you need to win against me so badly?"

"It's not you," you insisted instantly, "it's me— it's who I am."

"Maybe that's how it started," he suggested, "but you can't spend so long hunting someone without becoming a little obsessed with them— trust me, I would know."

You grimaced at him. "You— you can't be serious."

"Who will you be without me to chase?" he pressed anyways, matching some of your anger as he stepped closer again— almost too close. "Without this... passion, between us?"

"Don't step any closer," you warned.

"Or what?" he challenged. "No weapons, no soldiers— it's just the two of us here."

He stepped up again, nearly pressed against you, and you couldn't let him get away with that... you had to prove you meant what you said. You weren't armed, and you knew he wasn't someone you wanted to go up against hand-to-hand... but at the same time, it was one thing you'd always secretly wished for. A chance to wage this war the way it should be, the way it had always been: personal.

You stepped back at the same time as you swung your fist, giving yourself just enough room to gain momentum— but you weren't quite fast enough, and he blocked you. From then on it was fast, instinctual: he was stronger but you were quicker, and on the offensive.

You never quite landed a hit, but neither did he— which felt like a good sign, until you realized he wasn't really giving it his all. Dodging and blocking, yes, but he wasn't trying to win, just keep you at bay.

"Come on!" you yelled in frustration as you finally got in a kick to his chest, forcing him to stumble back and nearly fall. "What are you doing, pitying me?"

"Hardly," he wheezed, a little affected by the hit, which made you smirk. "But I don't want to hurt you."

"Please," you rolled your eyes, putting your fists up and stabilizing your posture. "If we're going to do this, let's do it right."

He came at you, and finally, there it was... his real strength. That passion he'd been talking about, you could feel it.

Both of you were flushed and panting, exhilarated by the sport of it all. Unfortunately, right as you thought you'd found your moment— the weak spot in his form— it was a trap. When you moved in closer, he grabbed you and spun you around, holding your back against his chest so tight that you struggled to breathe.

But he didn't shove you down, didn't put you in a chokehold, didn't even threaten you or gloat about pinning you. Instead, he only held you tighter, and soothed you with a gentle 'shh' in your ear when you tried to squirm out of his grasp.

"Wh-what are you doing?" you whispered, your whole body shaking as he ran his tongue up your neck.

"If it's curiosity that brought you here," he purred in response, "I can satisfy that."

"You can't be fffucking serious," you hissed, though a moan tainted your words as one of his hands ran down your body, the other still effortlessly holding you still.

"I know you so well," he went on, a deep growl in his voice as your eyes fell shut. "I know how lonely you must be. That's one of the things we share."

His hand was heavy and warm against your leg, even through your pants— and it was moving higher, petting your inner thigh as you shivered. Though your mind longed to resist him, your body was desperate for any affection; because he was right, you were lonely. You couldn’t think of the last time someone had touched you like this, and yet you remembered it didn’t usually feel this good. His touch was precise and careful and teasing— not too awkward but not too cocky. And the heat of him wrapped around you, his hot breath on your shoulder, his wider form encompassing you… how could it feel so good?

“And I know you’ve thought about this,” he added. “That’s something we share, too.”

He couldn’t know that— he might be rich and resourceful, but he wasn’t omniscient. If you were any more logical in that moment, you would’ve realized he was just guessing and denied it. But his teeth brushing over your pulse didn’t exactly provoke your critical thinking skills. “Fuck, I— fuck,” you choked out instead, shuddering when he chuckled proudly.

“You might hate me, draga, but you need me,” he explained. “Your mind needs me, just as much as your body does.”

Something about the way his fingers traced up your side, teasing your breast before pulling away right before getting to anything too exciting… it seemed to bring you back to reality, at least partially. You absolutely couldn’t do this— you couldn’t let him do this. “G-get off me,” you choked out, struggling against him again.

“That’s what you want?” he taunted.

“Get the fuck off me!” you yelped.

“Make me,” he challenged.

Bringing your foot down hard on top of his, he winced and you managed to break away, spinning around and shoving him back— he actually lost his balance that time, falling to the floor. You were ready to deliver a firm and swift kick between his legs, but rolled over and grabbed your leg while it was up, bringing you down to the floor with him.

He laughed breathlessly, sounding a little frustrated, as you flailed for purchase against the floor— only for him to grab your wrists and pin you down, positioning himself over you with a grin. His hair was shaken out of its style, hanging around his face which was flushed from exertion. “You keep me on my toes, I’ll give you that,” he offered. You tried to writhe again but he had you properly trapped now, with absolutely no way out.

“You wouldn’t,” you sneered incredulously.

“Wouldn’t what, dear?”

“You wouldn’t force yourself on me,” you completed.

He seemed a little surprised, hanging his head and shaking it. “Oh,” he breathed, “no, I wouldn’t.”

A little relieved, you started to catch your breath.

“I don’t need to.”

He brought his lips down to yours suddenly— the collision was almost too rough, and yet it was the only thing that made sense for the two of you. You groaned in protest yet submitted instantly, opening your mouth wide for his desperate and dominating kiss.

Your back arched up off the floor, and his weight seemed to sink down on top of you in response. Though you hated yourself for it, you spread your legs a bit, just enough for him to rest his hips between— and fuck, you could feel it. The hard, throbbing heat, you could feel it pressed against you and the most horrible moan was nearly lost to his lips.

He hummed back proudly, running his hands over your body, kissing you faster.

You were gasping for breath when he broke away, which only worsened when he latched onto your neck. “God, I hate you,” you blurted out, just to remind you both that if this was going to happen, it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“You hate me for all those times I embarrassed you?” he assumed, hands holding your waist and starting to slide up your shirt. “For when I eluded you, wasted your time, made a fool of you?”

“And that time you shot me.”

“I winged you,” he corrected— like that was any better.

He tugged your shirt up and you raised your arms, letting him slip it off; he spotted the scar right away, a line across your arm just under your shoulder. He cooed for a second before kissing it softly— too gentle a moment for you to let lie. You shoved his jacket back next, helping him slip it off his shoulders before pulling him down to kiss you again.

Your sports bra had a clasp in the front, it was a bit unique in that way, yet he had no trouble with it. Freeing your chest, he of course had to tease you a bit more— instead of groping your waiting breasts right away, he guided your arms down from where they held onto the back of his neck, lifting you up from the floor a bit so you could slide the garment off and toss it away.

When you laid back down, the floor was cold, but the hiss you let out was more a response to him rocking his hips against you, teasing you through these stupid remaining clothes. “You know why I hate you?” he returned as he started to unbutton your pants, even though you’d entirely forgotten that last part of the conversation.

Before he answered the question, he yanked your pants and underwear down to your thighs— and swiftly got his own out of the way. Your heart raced; you weren’t totally convinced this was really happening, not until he pushed into you in one painfully sudden thrust. You cried out, yet he took no mercy on you. He was ruthless, in fact.

Choking on your broken cries, you arched up off the floor again as he hammered into you, rage and relief and desperation evident in every movement. He had to hold your legs tightly just to keep you from sliding across the floor, which only ensured you took every stroke as deep as it could go— which was already too fucking deep.

“Say it,” he ordered, “tell me why I hate you.”

“I caught you,” you said— but you knew that would just make him angrier. Maybe that was kind of the idea.

Stopping just long enough to tug your pants the rest of the way off— and leaving you naked while he was still mostly dressed— he descended over you and looked right at you, far too close, with a rageful stare.

“You trapped me,” he corrected gruffly. “You played dirty.”

Before you had a chance to retort that all’s fair in love and war, he started to pound into you… harder and meaner than ever. You didn’t surprise yourself by crying out, considering how intense and nearly painful the feeling was, but you were a little confused that the word you said was a needy yes!

"Those years in prison," he snarled, "you could barely call it living, life in that place— you put me there. I thought every day about how you put me there."

He yanked your hair, making you whine loudly and exposing your neck for his lips and teeth to explore freely.

Finally, a hand latched onto your chest— a hot palm encompassing your breast and skilled fingers pinching lightly at your nipple. You couldn’t believe how composed he was through all this— in many ways, he wasn’t, but he seemed to be deliberate with every way he touched you and that was far more togetherness than you had.

You weren’t together at all, actually… something about the heat of the moment, the way your body responded to him, the way he glared at you… you could already feel tension building inside you. It wouldn’t be long, not if he kept going like this.

“I thought about you every fucking day, draga— that you were free, and I was trapped in that cell,” he growled. “You missed it, didn’t you? Chasing me.”

When you didn’t answer, he struck you across the face with the back of his hand; the shock of it made your walls clench on him, or at least you could blame it on that, but you had no way to explain the way you moaned a moment later.

He moved even faster, a sickening wet sound echoing through the room which you hated to acknowledge was your own body. “The worse I am to you, the wetter you get,” he noticed, smiling for just a moment. “What a filthy whore you are.”

“F-fuck you,” you stammered roughly.

“Actually, why don’t you?” he offered, grabbing you by the hips and rolling both of you over until he was on his back and you were straddling him. “Show me how bad you need it.”

As much as you wanted to not do what he told you, your hips were already moving— your body was on its own mission now, desperate for pleasure and friction and heat. Desperate for anything he would give. You whimpered as you grinded down on him, feeling his cock go so much deeper than you imagined was possible. “God,” you sobbed, tossing your head back and trying not to picture the way he must have been looking at you then.

His hands moved all over you, up your thighs and over your breasts, even wrapping around your neck once though they didn’t put on enough pressure to really choke you. “Pretty girl,” he praised darkly, making chills dance over your skin.

But when his hands settled on your hips, trying to guide you the way he wanted, you’d had enough; you grabbed him at the wrists and leaned forward, pinning his hands beside his head. He smirked up at you at first, but when you bounced your hips up and down while hovering over him, his eyes fell shut and he let out a deep groan. “I’m close,” you panted sharply.

“You can make yourself come like this?” he realized, sounding a little impressed. He opened his eyes and lifted his head for a moment to get a better look at you, before almost instantly giving up again and dropping his head back to the floor with a moan. “Fine, take it— just take what you need, draga.”

You held tighter to his wrists, mostly to keep yourself stable, and you felt his own hands ball into fists as you bounced faster. “Oh god, oh god, oh god— yes!” you yelped, legs quivering as it struck you. It seemed to come and go so quickly, perhaps because your strength gave out halfway through and you felt weak and paralyzed. It had been ages since you’d felt pleasure like that… actually you weren’t sure you’d ever felt pleasure like that, at least not so much all at once.

If only he were satisfied by that. With your grip weakened, he easily pulled his hands away to wrap his arms around you, holding you tightly and bucking his hips up into you rapidly.

“Fuck, wait, s-slow down,” you panted, whining weakly as he shook his head against the crook of your neck.

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to,” he purred. “I won’t be able to slow down at all until you’re full of come, draga. I want you dripping.”

You were all numb and limp now, so raw and sensitive inside— he put you on your back again and didn’t struggle at all to pull another orgasm from you. The third, though, was a little more hard fought: he rubbed your clit with an almost painful amount of pressure, watching through dark eyes and with a sneering grin as you screamed and shivered.

“Not too loud, darling,” he warned, “the people in the streets might hear you, the window’s still open—”

“Fuck!” you shouted, high-pitched and shaky, and he covered your mouth with his other hand as he laid on you with a growl.

“Just one more, then I’ll fill you,” he promised. “I only need to feel you come one more time. You want a rest, don’t you?”

You nodded weakly, biting down on your shaking lip.

“Then give me what I want.”

Your final cry was stuttered and helpless, every final ounce of energy in your body being taken from you by the final forced peak of ecstasy. But it wasn’t until you sighed out his name, barely audible under your breath, that he groaned against your neck and pumped himself deep inside you— every drop, leaving you full to the brim and then some.

You didn’t even have the strength to hold onto him, but he held you far too tightly as if to make up for it, and didn’t let you go for quite some time.

It had only gotten darker and colder out, and the draft through the window eventually danced over your sweat-slickened skin. When you shivered under him, Helmut lazily reached up to the couch nearby, pulling a throw blanket off of it and wrapping you both up in its soft embrace. You sighed with relief from both the cold air and the hard floor, not even realizing you were falling asleep.

Even when you woke up, you didn’t really notice that you’d been asleep— except that Helmut was gone, and the fireplace was going. Sitting up as little as you could get away with to look for him— since moving at all was quite a task given how tired you were— you heard him coming around the corner and turned back to look at him.

He was in a robe now, and carrying two crystal glasses of water. He smiled at you as he sat back down on the floor, laying beside you on the blanket and handing you your glass. “Figured you would need this soon enough,” he explained with a soft voice as you sipped carefully at the water. You weren’t really ready to talk to him yet, but you wanted to thank him for the water, so you just nodded and hoped that would get the point across.

The silence was probably only awkward for you— he seemed totally at peace, getting through most of his drink before setting it down on the floor and cuddling up to you again with a contented sigh.

You quietly drank the water, staring forward at the crackling fire, hardly believing where you were. It actually sounded sort of romantic on paper: a dashing and wealthy older man, a penthouse apartment in a foreign city, a fire, a blanket, a crystal glass…

If it weren’t for the wanted terrorist, it might make for a good little fantasy.

Yet, you set your glass aside and laid back down with him. He slipped an arm around you, holding your shoulder and petting it with his thumb, even kissing the side of your forehead sweetly. “I don’t understand how you can… be like that,” you whispered, glancing down at his arm crossed over your chest.

“Not everyone is so afraid of their feelings as you are,” he countered, and you snorted a little.

“I’m not afraid of my feelings,” you denied half-heartedly.

“You’re afraid of me, then?” he wondered.

“Not… quite…” you murmured your answer, not even sure yourself what you felt. “I mean, I drank the water, so—”

“I wondered if you would,” he laughed, “but I’m glad you did.”

“I mean, only half the glass, technically,” you noticed.

“Oh, don’t worry, you’ve had enough,” he shrugged.

“Enough?” you chuckled. “After that, half a glass of water is hardly enough. I won’t be recovered until I have a protein-heavy meal and probably a couple painkillers— if I wanna, you know, sit or jog or whatever in the next few days.”

“I suppose I’ll take that as a compliment,” he chuckled, “but I didn’t mean enough to recuperate. I meant enough for you to sleep until we get there.”

“...what?” you asked, turning over your shoulder with knitted brows to look at him.

“If even you know where you’re going, you might find a way to get out is all,” he explained flippantly.

“What… what are you…?” you started, shaking your head— but it didn’t shake off that funny feeling, that heaviness in your head.

“You see, I did think about you every day in my cell,” he went on, “and I thought about how, someday, I would lock you away— so you’d know how it feels, to be a prisoner.”

Whimpering as realization dawned, you sat up quickly to try to fight whatever was in that water… but it only seemed to make it worse, spots forming in your vision like when you stand up too fast— except they didn’t fade, just multiplied.

“I’ll treat you much better than I was, though,” he assured, “in fact, I think you’ll be better off than you were before… you’ll be mine, draga. No one else will ever see you again.”

You tried to speak but it wasn’t really coming together— you tried to push him away but you only limply held onto him, looking up at his eerily blank expression with your fading vision. As it all turned to black, he caught your head before it hit the floor, cradling it rather tenderly before kissing your cheek.

“Now,” he whispered to you, though you couldn’t possibly hear it, “let’s get you cleaned up— the plane is waiting to take you to our new home.”

#baron zemo x reader #baron zemo smut #dark!zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo smut #daniel bruhl smut #dark!zemo smut #helmut zemo dark fic #baron zemo dark fic #WELP. oops.

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wintereyed · 7 months

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#winterbaron #mmm maybe #who knows #he could always eat you #bucky barnes #helmut zemo #daniel bruhl #sebastian stan #dark bucky?#hydra hunting husbands?#you decide

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jomarch-wannabe · 5 months

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A compilation of Daniel Brühl in fur coats

#daniel bruhl #Daniel brühl #laszlo kreizler #the alienist #horstmayer #joyeux noel #the falcon and the winter soldier #Helmut Zemo #I’m salivating #he’s so fineeeeee #help me #there’s nothing like a dark haired dark eyed man #I’m in love

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 11 months

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In The Summertime 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, manipulation, power imbalance, grooming behaviour, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your father’s best friend gives you a job for the summer, but he’s not so interested in your work ethic.

Character: dbf!Helmut Zemo

Note: This just sits in my drafts.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

The doorbell chirps and draws you from the reverie of your fictional paradise. You set the bookmark between the pages and put down the book, rounding the counter mindlessly as your thoughts linger on the fearless heroine’s next move. You don’t think about how late it is or that you can hear the kettle starting to quake. You’d almost forgot the very reason you’d ended up in the kitchen.

You open the door a crack and peek out. You smile and let it fall ajar.

“Dr. Zemo,” you greet, “how are you?”

“Oh, you’re back,” he says, “I’m very fine, my dear, I didn’t know you’d returned. How are you? How is school?”

“Yep! Came back for summer break. I’m doing okay. Catching up on some reading,” you answer, “my dad’s not here. He texted though, he should be back soon.”

“I’m sorry to disturb you so late, I can always come by tomorrow,” he assures, “I suppose I was overly eager. I get some thought in my mind and must see it through at the very moment.”

“You can wait for him,” you say as the kettle begins to whistle, “I was just making some tea if you want some.”

“Hmm,” he says thoughtfully, “perhaps I might before my purpose runs away from me.”

You step back and let him in. He is not a stranger to your father’s modest home. You watch him shed his blazer and hang it. He turns to you as he smooths the front of his sweater, a crisp collar peeking above the vee. You spin and lead him down the hallway.

“You still have classes, right?” you ask as you enter the kitchen and rush to turn off the burner, removing the screaming kettle.

“I do, but my summers are always slower,” he assures as he nears the island. You sense his shadow as you take out a second mug, “do you miss campus terribly?”

“Hmm, I suppose but it’s good to be back,” you say, “I think even dad would agree. Any particular tea you’re in the mood for?”

“It is late, perhaps a chamomile, something herbal,” he replies carelessly.

You take out your tin of teas and sort through, tearing open a packet and placing the bags in the cups. You go through the process of steeping and turn back as Zemo stands over your novel, flicking through the pages curiously.

“Oh, I was just reading,” you say bashfully.

“I usually see you carrying around Tolstoy,” he muses, “this is very different.”

“Just a book I was suggested,” you answer as you near and place the cup before him, “I think I’m all burnt out on history and lit right now.”

“No judgment, you know, Lovecraft is regarded as a great and he wrote quite peculiar fantasy,” he muses as he closes the book, “it is always a positive to broaden our horizons.”

He pulls the cup closer as you cradle yours between your palms. It’s been a while since you saw the doctor, your father’s oldest friend, and the indulger of your historical whimsy. Many of your books had once been his.

His brushes back the grey at his temples, some new silver laced over the top of his head. He looks older but not poorly for it. He always seemed entirely too sage and intelligent for you and even after a year of university, you feel inadequate.

“And you’ve just been teaching?” you ask.

“Mm, yes, and I did make my rounds at the conferences this year,” he replies as he traces the porcelain brim with his finger, steam coiling up from the tea, “I have a few this summer. I thought, now you are a fully-fledged scholar, you might… be interested? Or perhaps you’re life is much too exciting for me now.”

“Ha,” you scoff, “maybe. I’ll have to see. My dad says I have to get a summer job so I don’t know if I’ll have the time.”

“Then we will see,” he says smoothly as you hear the front door click.

“Sweet pea, I got you the grilled combo, they were all out of the tenders,” your father calls down the hallway before he appears. He winces as he sees Zemo but smiles nonetheless, “Hel,” he greets as he places the paper bags down, “I wasn’t expecting you–”

“Ah, yes, forgive me,” Zemo stands straight, “I had only a thought about the shelves in my office and thought to discuss it with you, my handy friend.”

“Mm,” your father rolls his eyes, “and it’s not about the vintage in my toolbox?”

“Oh, I have tea,” he lifts the mug, “I promise, I am not after the scotch. Not this time.”

“Here,” your father slides a paper bag in your direction, “I’ll take care of this pest.”

He takes his own bag and a cup from the tray.

“Thank you, dear,” Zemo takes his tea and sends you a smile, “have a good night and enjoy your book.”

“Thanks, Doctor, you too,” you reply as he follows your father.

“So what is it this time? I can’t perform miracles, man, you need to stop buying books…” your dad’s voice trails off and you chuckle.

The two of them are an unexpected pair; the professor and the carpenter, it would be a good buddy film if you had a hand for screenplays. You slide your book off the counter and grab your tea. Hopefully, you can finish the chapter before your eyes start to burn.

🌻

A lazy breeze flows in across the window sill. Sweat films over your face as the fan oscillates and blows over you, sprawled across your bed in a tee and shorts set decorated with purple petals. You woke up uncomfortable, sticky and stewing from the heat.

Your room in the attic is always the hottest or coldest in the house, but in your former teenage obstinance, you insisted on privacy and now your pride will not let you retreat. You languish in the temperature, the humidity thick as it seeps in, crawling over you. It should storm soon before the stranglehold gets too tight.

At last, you roll out of bed and tug on the front of the button up shirt to try to ease the trickle along your spine. You go to the window and pull it open with a great heave, grunting as the frame makes a similar noise. You peer down as a figure catches your eyes.

It's early, you glance at the old two handed clock on your round night table, but you always assumed Dr. Zemo never sleeps. He's unbothered by the heat as he stops on the walk and looks up at you, drawn by the grind of old wood. You wave at him and he lifts his free hand to return the gesture. He proceeds up the pavement and disappears below the eaves.

You groan and spin away. You need to get out of this room. You change into a pair of loose capris and a gingham blouse that knots over your belly button, just a hint of skin above the waist. You check yourself in the mirror, never very bothered by your bare face, and descend the creaky old stairs.

"I see you've been up all night about it," your father admonishes, his voice gristly with sleep. He's an old bear and hates early hours.

"Yes, well, I've been restless about the shelves," Zemo replies as you near the top of the second flight staircase, "so, is it feasible?"

"You need to let me wake up, Hel," your dad grumbles into a yawn, a great roar as you imagine him stretching, "I can't focus on your scribbles before my coffee."

"Yes, yes, you and your caffeine," Zemo intones, "it isn't very good for you, you know?"

"Thanks, mom," your father rebuffs dryly as you hear the lid of the machine clap down.

You carefully continue down the stairs and peek around the railing. Zemo stands by the island, toe tapping as his fingers play with the corner of a page. His leather folio lays open as the coffee machine makes noise.

You tiptoe down the hall and squeak, "good morning."

Zemo smiles as he peeks over at you as your dad stares down the coffee pot.

"Morning, sweet pea," your father mutters as you stop by the island, "you're up early."

"It's so hot," you say as you bask in the cool air of the lower floors.

"I told you the attic was a bad idea," your father attempts to resurrect that battle.

"Maybe," you shrug, in no mood for arguing, "what's this?"

You glance at Zemo's papers and he pulls his hands back to frame his sketches.

"My plans for my study. I never much use my guest room so I thought to expand it–"

"And pay me pennies," your father pours a mug, "con artist, this one."

"If you are too busy, just say the word and I will consider other prospects," Zemo challenges.

There's a brief silence before they laugh. The two of them always speak with a sense of chagrin. Two grumpy old men.

"Seems like a lot of work," you comment as you look closer.

"Mhmm," your father agrees, "a lot."

"Well," Zemo sighs and runs a hand up his lapel, "speaking of work, I have another proposition."

"There he goes," your dad crosses one arm over his stomach as he takes a gulp.

"As my study will be under construction, I shall need to relocate my work for the summer. As well, as I've made some commitment before this decision to throw all into chaos, I have much to do and would require some assistance."

"Gimme, gimme, gimme," your father scoffs.

"As I was saying," Zemo taps on the papers, "I require assistance and the position would look well for any aspiring historian–"

"Her?" Your father arches a brow at you.

"I heard she was in need of employment," Zemo says, "it would be mutually beneficial."

"So you say," your father counters, "dunno if she'd agree."

"Remind me not to accost you before your coffee again," Helmut mutters.

"Oh, I have no problem reminding you over and over," your father taunts, "well, sweet pea, it's entirely up to you."

"Uh," you're surprised by the offer.

It would be ideal to grilling burgers at the McDonald's or sorting flyers down at the newspaper. Still, as nice as Zemo is, it could be awkward. Him being your boss. He doesn't seem anything less than strict in his study and you're barely above a freshman.

"It isn't an urgent decision, dear," Zemo assures, "for the time, I am more concerned for my shelves–"

"The shelves," your father waves him off, "you're like a buzzing fly."

"Now, do not make me mention what debts are beholden to me," Zemo warns, "I could ask for worse things."

"And I'm sure you will," your father snorts as he stands straight, "I'm going to finish this outside. The sun makes you slightly more tolerable."

Your father goes to the patio doors and drags his feet outside. You smile awkwardly as Zemo closes his folio and scoops it up.

"Let me know when you've made up your mind," he says as he tucks the folder under his arm, "I always did wonder how you are that man's daughter. Such a stubborn… one."

You chuckle as you imagine what he truly meant to end with. He turns to follow your father and you go to the fridge to search out something cold. You can't think when you're this hot.

#helmut zemo #dark!helmut zemo #dark helmut zemo #series #helmut zemo x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #avengers #mcu #marvel #au #dbf #captain america

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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year

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I want his gender

#mentally im still here #that turtleneck outfit has haunted me since november when i watched this #daniel brühl the twink prince that you were #tbh most of his roles are very gender evny #this !!!#frederick zoller another twink #dont even get me started on zemo especially tfatws zemo and his slutty coat...#him as niki lauda???#all very gender #if i ever can recreate this outfit irl i will be very happy #(what is it w me and getting gender envy for german protags istg every german show/movie i watch i get rly obsessed w the protag)#(maybe one day ill go back and gif deutschland 83/dark/etc and my german twink collection)#(thatd be a fun project! i could never rly find the fandom so itd be cool to be self indulgent)#(i always wanna rewatch those so if i can multitask w gifing that would be great)#(im super non committal and me doing race recaps is one of the major things keeping me consistent so maybe i shall do that but w this)#daniel brühl #daniel bruhl #good bye lenin #goodbye lenin #catie.rambling.txt

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mariaxxxxx · 2 months

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The love you offer me (Zemo x Female Reader One-Shot)

Summary: Short stories of how Helmut J. Zemo destroyed his heart.

Warnings: 18+ sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, pussy eating, anguish, depression, separation, unprotected sex, cream pie, pregnancy, loss of a child, manipulation, abusive relationship.

A/N: English is not my mother tongue. I apologize for any errors.

Work count: 9.352

🟣 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣

Helmut J. Zemo was like no one You had ever met before. Although he is a very vindictive man, he is actually the ultimate embodiment of manipulation, as he is able to carefully plan and execute every step necessary to accomplish his goals. Despite his intense behavior and capacity for extreme violence and destruction, Helmut possessed a more pleasant side to his personality. He was a family man, a loving companion, with a passion for collecting art and high-value cars, and even dancing in a nightclub.

Maybe it was his pleasant personality that led you to him in the first place. The charismatic, respectful and passionate Helmut Zemo who would never hurt You. Helmut is good, but not in the way everyone thinks. He's good at wooing you with expensive trips and gifts, good at making you scream his name on his private plane. He's good at taking you out of reality, destroying your mind when you're under him. He's good at making You beg to be ruined. He is good at adorning your neck and wrists with precious jewelry; he is good at kissing you and telling you how much he loves you. Zemo is everything.

Unfortunately, he was also good at breaking your heart into tiny pieces without any chance of concert. He was good, excellent and perfect in reducing You to nothing more than a broken doll.

(…)

You still remember the first time you saw him. You were a simple, new waitress at a nightclub in Madripoor. On your first day on the job, you were already cleaning tables, serving drinks and keeping the cash register full, even if it meant losing precious nights of sleep. You were more than grateful for that. Staying in Madripoor, in the upper city, was really expensive and after his father's death things really got difficult for his side. Unfortunately for him, his damned father had wiped out his bank accounts with gambling and drinking, leaving nothing but negative accounts. After burying them the bills arrived; rent electricity, food, and hospital and burial bills. You wouldn't be able to maintain everything with a simple part-time job and, to your delight, your colleague Nathan offered you the chance at employment.

It was a dangerous place indeed. With rude men, women of dubious reputation and corrupt foreigners, but the money at the end of the night made it all worth it. There was also protection exercised over site workers; it wasn't uncommon for a funny guy to try his luck by touching you under your skirt. You were a pretty and delicate little thing for the place and that attracted curious people as to why a pretty girl like You stopped in a place like that. Countless times Mark, the security guard, had to chase away mean men and jealous women to keep you alive.

One night, like any other, the most bizarre version of Charles' little angels you've ever seen appeared; the damned winter soldier, the smiling tiger and a man in a big fur coat. You thought it was fun. But confusion soon ensued at the scene when the Winter Soldier attacked some men, causing a general fight. You were hiding behind the counter when his gaze met yours. Maybe, if You weren't so enchanted by those damn eyes, you would have noticed the pain behind it. In an almost supernatural way, You struggled to keep your balance as he continued to stare in your direction.

The moment was interrupted with the departure of the three men and the news that the club would be closed for the rest of the night. The way home was strange, not to mention funny. His gaze never left your idle mind, sending shivers down your spine and contractions in your stomach. You remember finding him handsome and old, older than you, but that didn't matter after all he was beautiful. You slept that night with him in your head like a teenager discovering her first love.

A week later You found him while walking through the streets of the upper city carrying bags; You had received payment and decided to stock up on supplies at home by going to the market. You were distracted watching the ships parked at the pier that you didn't notice someone going in the same direction, they collided quickly and you didn't have time to stop it. You struggled to keep your balance, failing to fall to the floor with your bags. You opened your eyes, fighting the embarrassment, and saw some of your purchases scattered across the floor.

"Are you well?" A voice with a thick accent. You moved your head quickly ready to trash talk the man, but something stopped you.

There he was, the man from the nightclub, the one who would rip your heart out of your chest, at that time You didn't know. For some reason, you bit your tongue to avoid the curses and opened your mouth to show the most beautiful smile.

“I’m fine” You said as you stood up.

"He is sure? I am really sorry." He apologized again. You thought the attempt to alleviate all the embarrassment was cute.

With his help, you gathered up the fallen products on the floor, trying to ignore how his touch made your heart flutter as he handed you a can of peas. After making sure everything was collected, You turned on your heel about to leave. His hand held your forearm keeping you in place. The heat that came from his touch took you to heaven for a few brief minutes only to be replaced by a slight disappointment when he took it away.

You looked at him, trying to say something funny about the situation, anything that would make you seem less clumsy, but you couldn't. The brown eyes were looking at You. No, they were marking You. You couldn't move or speak.

"Everything is fine." You said after a long minute of silence. "Thank you for helping me."

“Let me do something to make up for this misfortune.” He said. “I can take her home. My car is parked right there.”

His cheeks heated at the tempting but dangerous proposition. Madripoor was a den of outlaws and fugitives. You wouldn't risk your safety with a stranger no matter how handsome he was.

“I prefer to walk.” You were definitely being petulant and he seemed amused by it.

“Stop being stubborn.” You didn't miss the authoritative tone in his voice. “You’re full of bags and you just got hurt. I just want to take care of You.”

“My parents taught me not to trust strangers.” You said amusingly. “But if it pleases you You can walk home with me.”

It wouldn't hurt to flirt a little; after all, you were young and single in front of a handsome man. Sometimes, you blamed your naivety for allowing yourself to be carried away so easily by him, being at the height of your youth and ready to experience all the good things in the world. You allowed yourself to be swept away with a simple bump into the curb. As you sunk into his smile, his hand brought you back to reality. A comforting touch on your arm and a friendly expression on your face.

"Let's go."

He walked you home and offered to even carry your bags. The path was filled with conversations.

“Are you from Madripoor?” You questioned.

"No." He said. “I'm here on business.”

“I saw you at the club the night the Winter Soldier showed up, but you looked different. You wore a funny coat.”

He let out a little laugh. Cute.

"Oh yeah." You rounded a corner. “I was helping an old friend.”

“You guys made a mess. We had to clean everything up the next morning.”

“Do you work at that place?” There was a hint of mockery in his voice and it bothered you briefly. It wasn't one of the best jobs in the world, but it was still a job and it paid all the bills.

"Yes." You said with a firm voice. “I work waiting tables, sometimes making drinks, sometimes cleaning and sometimes taking care of the cash register. I do everything."

“Do your parents allow you to work there?”

You looked at him, in disbelief to hear something so silly. You were young, but not too young to ask your parents for permission – if You still had them.

“My mother left when I was little and my father died.” You said. “But that doesn’t matter since I wouldn’t need their permission to work.”

"Of course not. You’re a big girl now and you can take care of yourself.”

If you were a little smarter at that time you would have been able to capture the tone of eroticism in his voice when he said those words, but at that moment you thought it was funny. The conversation was interrupted when you arrived at your residence. You stopped in front of your building and looked at it.

“Thanks for following along.”

“I must be grateful for allowing me to accompany you. It’s been so long since I’ve had a pretty girl by my side.” He winked and you smiled, feeling your cheeks heat up once again.

"You are very kind." His words came out as a whisper, even though it wasn't his intention.

He reached into his back pocket, took out a black cell phone and handed it to You.

“Write down your number.” He instructed. “I would like to talk to you more.”

You put your number on his cell phone, convincing yourself that this was all just a quick flirt with an older man. How wrong you were.

(...)

You underestimated how flirtatious and charming Helmut would be. You thought he would just take you to bed and disappear before dawn, but that wasn't what happened. You spent hours sharing text messages that would evolve into phone calls and, later, romantic dates. Days with him turned into weeks and, without warning, into months. He wasn't at all interested in fucking you and leaving, no, Helmut was different; he spoiled her with expensive dates and exorbitant gifts. Before you knew it, you were falling for him.

You had been dating for four months when he took you to bed for the first time. It was good, but clumsy and quick. Helmut made her cum that night, but he himself had finished quickly with just a few thrusts. You didn't mind finishing quickly since the man had brought a beautiful orgasm out of you with his fingers and tongue. In the eighth month, you and he made your relationship official. Helmut took you to a restaurant in the upper city. The food was good, the waiters were polite and the atmosphere was pleasant. He gave her a simple and delicate necklace; with a gold chain and a pendant with a design that resembled an H. You thought the H symbolized the initial of his name. He placed the necklace around your neck and stood in front of you to admire it. At that moment, you noticed emotions passing through your face, love, longing and sadness. He covered it up with a smile.

“Wear it always, my dear.” He said as he played with the pendant. “It would break my heart if You took it away.”

You wore that necklace without ever taking it off your neck. You were in love and would do anything to make him happy. What you didn't expect was to be fired from your job. When You demanded an explanation, your former boss just gave a disinterested shrug.

“Orders from above.”

Of course, the bastard wouldn't say anything more than that. In Madripoor, loudmouths didn't have happy endings. You returned home frustrated that night, wondering how you were going to support yourself now. You had no family or studies to guarantee you a good job, all that was left were part-time jobs and bars with a dubious reputation. Still, you needed to find something quickly, as the month would soon end and new bills would arrive.

When he got home, his cell phone beeped in his pocket with a new message from Helmut; the man who won a place in your heart in just a few weeks. The message only said that he would pick her up that night for a date. So authoritative You thought. Your current state didn't allow you to have fun, but you swallowed all your anguish to be with him. You might not have fallen in love so quickly if he was just attractive; a pretty European faces to look at on a sunny afternoon. Something superficial, like the designer handbags in the window that you wanted but would never have. Deep down, deep down, You knew there was something wrong with falling in love so quickly, but who could blame You? The man was simply perfect.

After reflecting for a moment, you walked to the bedroom to improve your swollen face from crying and look pretty for him. He showed up in his luxury car at the appointed time, Helmut was always so punctual. You sat down next to him and gave him a small peck.

"Where are we going?" You asked as you fastened your seatbelt.

"A surprise." He whispered with a false air of mystery.

Helmut took you to the pier that night where a huge white yacht was waiting for you.

“My god” You sighed as you came across the grandeur of the yacht. Helmut stood beside you, his hand on your waist guiding you inside.

“Come, I want to show you everything.”

He introduced you to the deck, the captain's cabin, the crew, the room you would share for the night. After the short tour You sat at a table set on the deck with exquisite dishes under the starlight.

“What a great surprise.” You said with a big smile. “I’ve never been on a boat before.”

“It saddens my heart. A girl like you deserves everything the world has to offer.”

When he tells you this your heart jumps out of your chest. After all, no one had ever loved you like this to the point of spoiling you with such beautiful things. The moment of joy was replaced with sudden distress as You, for the first time, realized the vast difference in social class between You. Helmut was a fit, cultured and rich man. You were just a young thing without a family, education or job.

“Helmut.” You started talking. “What will happen to us?”

“What do you mean, darling?” He asked with a slight tilt of his head.

“It’s just…” You took a deep breath. “...we've been dating for a few months and I...it's just...We're so different.”

“Oh, my dear I know I'm too old for You.”

You scolded yourself for not being good with words and causing that misunderstanding. You didn't want to hurt him, so you recanted as quickly as you could.

"It's not that." You said it too loudly. “It’s just that you’re so rich and I’m me. I don’t even have my job anymore.”

"I know." He raised the glass of white wine to his lips. “I asked them to fire you, I didn’t want you working in that dangerous place with men of ill repute.”

“Helmut!” You exclaimed indignantly. “I needed that job. How will I support myself?”

"I will take care of you." There was a wild gleam in his eyes as he said this.

Maybe it was passion speaking too loudly, but you didn't question him any further and just allowed yourself to be taken care of by him. You talk that night, there was no room for silence at that table. He told him his story; about Sokovia, the Avengers, the prison, about Sam and Bucky and how he was now an international fugitive. In normal situations, an abrupt reaction would be expected, but you didn't do it. At that point, You were sure that you loved this man and that he loved you to the point of trusting You so much to tell him all his problems. You comforted him as he told you about his family buried in the rubble of New Gadi after the Avengers battle and the killer robot, Ultron, created by them.

You smiled beside him as he recounted the antics of his son, Carl. You comforted him when he shared a close bond with his father. When he started talking about his late wife with so much love and devotion a spark lit in You because of the way he spoke; Helmut exercised such devotion over the woman that she could be his own private goddess. You saw the sadness, longing and love run through his eyes. You ignored the jealousy and resentment by convincing yourself that she was dead.

“So, you’re telling me to run away alongside you?” You ask in disbelief. You were sitting on the deck floor, your legs spread across his lap, his hands lightly brushing your skin.

"Yes." He says with a mischievous smile. “There is nothing for You here. Come with me and I will give you everything.”

You accepted the invitation as there was nothing for You in Madripoor.

You guys spent a week or two, you're not sure, on the yacht going from place to place across the ocean. You and him talked a lot, drank a lot and fucked a lot. To his surprise, Helmut took her to Germany. You disembarked from the yacht on a Sunday night. On the way to the hotel You tried not to show all your perplexity at being in a completely new place. You had never left Madripoor before. The biggest surprise was the hotel he chose. With a huge reception, golden pillars and employees who guided you to your hotel room.

"Did you like it?" Helmut asked.

You didn't make a point of answering right away, you were too busy, impressed by the large windows with a privileged view of the city.

“I loved it” You shouted while jumping up and down with joy. Helmut laughed behind You at your excitement.

“I’m going to draw a bath. Then let's get some sleep. Tomorrow we need to buy clothes for You.”

“Uhm.” You murmured, still impressed by the grandeur of that room.

With your crazy and sudden impulse to go after one of the most wanted men in the world You didn't have time to grab clothes. Helmut assured You that your belongings in the old apartment would be well taken care of and that the expenses left by You would be paid. Although you were sad to leave some gifts he gave you in his old apartment, he assured you that he would give you others. During the yacht trip, You didn't miss his clothes, preferring to wear his shirts; Helmut had a lot of fun with your lack of underwear and it allowed him to fuck you everywhere on that yacht.

“The bath is ready.” Helmut announced from the bathroom.

With a burst of joy, you went to the bathroom, which turned out to be even more elegant and sophisticated than the large windows. You liked it and quickly got used to that life.

(...)

The time with Helmut was funny, everything seemed to move so slowly. You stayed in Germany for a year and six months, settling in the city of Munich in a small village far from the big center surrounded by trees and stone roads. Helmut was kind to you and taught you to speak fluent German, to dance and differentiate between the different forks that were on the table. He instructed you to go back to studying, although it wasn't his wish, he enrolled you in a semester-long fine arts course at the University of Munich. You didn't hate art, but you didn't identify with it enough to study the subject.

In the end, despite yourself, you took the course and finished it with honors and letters of recommendation for internships in galleries. Helmut was proud and to congratulate you he presented you with a new wardrobe of haute couture clothes. Your stay in Germany ended with the authorities discovering your existence in the country. You and Helmut fled in the early hours of the morning, heading straight to the airport where his private jet was waiting for you.

“We’ll be fine, my dear.” He said while hugging You.

Leaving Germany was difficult, as you left behind a few friendships and opportunities for a bright future. But You consoled yourself by remembering that you were with him, by his side, and wherever Helmut took you You would be okay.

The next stop was in Spain, on one of the Balearic Islands, where a small but luxurious house was waiting for you. You settled in quickly and to your surprise Helmut introduced you to the Oeznik family butler, an old man with a great sense of humor and loyalty.

“We can have pizza today, Oeznik.” You said as you walked around the kitchen with bare feet carrying dishes from one place to another.

“You should eat something healthier, my lady. You young people love to eat junk.” Oeznik said, watching You walk from one side to the other. “You won’t like your choice.”

“He will like it.” You guaranteed it. “I’m going to order a pizza.”

Oeznik was right that Helmut wouldn't like the pizza.

“You don’t like that kind of thing.” Said Helmut with clear mockery in his voice as You placed the slice in front of him.

"I love pizza." You said, trying to hide your discomfort. “We eat a lot of that in Madripoor.”

“Well, I took you for pizza in Venice and you hated it.” Helmut said with nostalgia in his voice. “You said mixing tomato sauce and pasta was a crime against nature.”

It was the first time Helmut looked at You with dazed eyes. As if he was not seeing You, but seeing someone else.

“We never went to Italy, Helm.” You mutter.

Helmut blinks rapidly as if trying to get something out of his mind and smiles in your direction.

“Let’s eat the pizza, little dove.”

The nickname was new, You noticed. That night you ate the pizza reluctantly, because with each bite a bitter taste formed in your mouth.

In the following months, Helmut was a very generous man towards You. He gave you a luxury apartment in Ibiza, created a bank account with $3,000,000 so that You could have a good life in case he was arrested again and enrolled you, again, in another semester arts course. You took the course reluctantly, because you didn't identify with it, but it made you happy so you were happy, and you had the advantage of learning a new language; Helmut joked about how smart You were at learning new languages in such a short time. To his delight, the course ended in exactly four months. You and he celebrated with a candlelit dinner by the sea.

"Marry me?" Helmut asked with his knees on the floor and a diamond ring in his hand.

"Yes." You said in one breath.

“Baroness Zemo.” He said as he put the ring on her finger. “I will make you very happy, little dove.”

You hugged him, kissed him and swore your eternal love to him. After dinner he dragged you back home; you walked through the door holding each other without separating your lips from each other. One moment you were on the stairs and the next you were in the bedroom. In bed, with a shirtless Helmut on top of you. His clothes disappeared. His panties and bra were the only things covering his body. His hands were touching you, exploring his skin while his lips devoured yours. Helmut knew what he was doing. He was reducing you to dust.

His hand grabs your panties, his finger trailing down your covered slit. A wet spot made him smile proudly.

“Always so wet for me, my little dove.” He whispered in her ear. You tried not to think about how much that nickname bothered you, but to your delight his fingers began to trace circles around your clit. Erasing everything from your mind. “Do you like this, little dove? Do you like how I make you feel?”

The lack of response made him accelerate his movements. His head spun at the sensation. He was torturing You; The moisture in her panties increased, creating a slight discomfort with the contact between the wet fabric and the hot flesh.

"Answer me. Use the damn words, little dove.” His voice was deep, his accent stronger and more authoritative.

“Yes, Helmut.” You said. He kissed you, his tongue finding its way to his.

He pulled away, kissing his way down to her covered breasts where he nibbled on her right nipple through the lacy fabric. You moaned loudly at the stimulation. He bent down completely, with his head between his legs, freed himself from her completely soaked panties. He brought his face closer to her wet pussy, inhaling her scent. He traced a line between her folds, playing with her pussy. Lick after lick, Helmut placed his lips on her folds and began to suck her clit.

You screamed at the quick action and pleasure. His fingers teased your entrance, slowly massaging your arousal until he finally slipped one of them inside and then another. Helmut had deliciously large fingers, bigger than his own, and he reached the g-spot with flying colors. The way he moved them, with such agility, was breathtaking. The established rhythm was specular. His fingers pumped in and out of You while his tongue stimulated your clit, making You feel better than ever.

Suddenly, he lifted his face away from You, but his fingers kept moving inside. His lips glistened with a mixture of his own saliva and his arousal. That and the damn smile on his face made her belly tighten.

“Enjoy little dove.”

The tightness in his stomach intensified, a tingling started from the tips of his toes, went up his legs, going to his stomach causing an explosion of pure ecstasy. You felt his soul leave his body for a few seconds and return. You were stuck in your little world of satisfaction as Helmut got rid of his pants and underwear. He placed himself on top of you, both hands rested on the sides of his face. The feeling of his dick, dripping with pre-cum, made You look down.

Helmut had a dick that was large in length and thickness, half tilted to the right, white and with a reddish head with a drop of pre-cum leaking out. You reached out to his arm and touched him. His breath hitched as his palm closed around his member to stroke it. His thumb slipped on the tip, making his dick twitch in circles in his hand.

"Little Dove." He groaned,

Her hand trailed up and down, down and up, pumping him as he grew harder and wetter. It was gentle touches, but it was driving him crazy. After some more stimulation, Helmut moved his hand away and positioned himself at her entrance. He spread her legs, with his right hand guided his cock between her slit. A brief lapse of consciousness appeared in his brain as he remembered the lack of protection. You didn't use contraceptives, as Helmut thought they were a poison bomb, always preferring to use condoms.

“Helmut.” You said between moans. “The condom...”

“We don’t need her.” He said come in and cuddles.

You moaned loudly when you felt him inside you. The feeling of having him without the latex was simply sublime. With quick movements, the head of his dick reached her spongy spot. The sensation of it made your eyes roll back, electricity course through your body aware of what his cock was doing. His legs opened wider for him. You felt it everywhere. The deeper he went, the more pleasure you felt. His hands grab his hair, pulling it lightly into fists.

Like the popping of a bottle You have, once again, reached climax. You have never been so satisfied in your life. Helmut fucked you like there was no tomorrow. You felt him go faster, riding out his own release, and when he finally did, releasing all of his semen inside of You a name escaped his lips.

“Heike.” He said between whispers and moans.

Helmut pulled out of You and rolled onto his side, falling asleep. You remain in bed, rubbing your face with your hands, hurt from hearing him cry out for the dead woman as he spilled himself inside you. It was an unraveling feeling, as if strong waves flooded your heart with sadness and disappointment. You even tried to convince yourself that you heard wrong. It wasn't her name, You thought. Maybe, it was something in his mother tongue that resembled his name, maybe he just blurted it out in his frenzy, maybe he didn't love you that much and thought about his wife every time You shared a bed.

At that moment, You found yourself crying yourself to sleep at the possibility of Helmut thinking about his late wife every time he was with You.

(...)

Things were great for a while. Helmut spoiled you, your stay in Spain increased, the preparations for the wedding were almost ready and sex became constant. You memorized the things Helmut loved during sex. The way he moaned when You were on your knees with his dick in your mouth, massaging his balls. The way his eyebrows do when You ride him. You even noticed how quickly he finished when You let him eat his anus. So things were great, but there was still growing discomfort.

Helmut still moaned for Heike every time he came. You decide to pretend not to notice his late wife's name slip past his lips every time. You just hid in the bathroom, with the shower running and burst into tears. You never imagined that being by his side would have you competing for affection with a dead woman. After all, she was rotting underground, while You were there in the prime of your youth with all the love and affection to give. You just suppressed all those feelings and pretended everything was fine, pushing all those thoughts away and convincing yourself that he loved you. When you were convinced of this, you would take a long shower to hide your swollen face and leave the bathroom with a big smile.

The wedding took place in mid-July, the seventeenth to be exact. You exchanged your vows in a minimalist ceremony with the presence of Oeznik, a priest and a justice of the peace to establish the prenuptial agreements.

“I promise to love, respect you and make you happy for the rest of our lives.” Helmut recited the vows while placing the ring on her finger.

“I promise to love you, respect you and yours until death do us part.” You recited your vows when you put the ring on his finger.

“You can kiss the night.” Said the priest.

Helmut kissed you with so much passion that you truly believed again that he loved you. The party was held at home, a dinner between the two of you, just to celebrate the union of two souls. Due to his fugitive status, he was not allowed more than that.

Married life was easy. You instructed the servants how to take care of the house, you often went to the beauty salon to look beautiful and you had sex with your husband whenever asked. You could live like this for the rest of your life next to him if it weren't for Heike's growing presence in your lives. After being married for a while, being called Heike didn't just extend to bed, but to everyday life. The first time was during a walk through the streets of Barcelona.

“I love this coat.” You pointed to a window where a mannequin was dressed in a cloth coat with colorful abstract designs.

“It’s so messy.” He said. “I thought you liked more minimalist clothes.”

“Helmy.” You groaned. “I love messy clothes. What would our lives be without neon clothes and red boots?”

He laughed at your words and said something that would break your heart forever.

“You look so different, Heike.”

Your eyes burned into his dark ones, anger welled up inside You, ready to explode like a volcano. You let out a nervous sigh as you feel tears start to well up in your eyes. You try to swallow the solutions that reached your throat.

“I...” He starts to say, taking a step forward to take you in his arms, but you move away, shaking your head.

“No, don’t you dare apologize.”

You leave him standing on the sidewalk and run in the opposite direction, blending into the crowd. You spent the whole day on the streets trying to forget the humiliation and pain caused in your heart. After a long period of walking and reflection, you convince him that everything is fine and that he loved you for who you were. You came home at night and found him in the living room. Helmut walked up to You hoping to apologize.

"Everything is fine." You said.

You took one more look at him before going up to the bathroom and locking yourself in there. You turned on the shower and burst into tears and sobs. Deep down, you knew, you always knew. He didn't love you. He tried to turn You into his dead wife; with the art courses, the language classes, the new clothes, the strange nicknames. You were just a substitute, an object to replace what he had lost.

You took a long shower, got dressed in comfy pajamas, and did your nightly skin care routine. When going down the stairs that led to the room You found Helmut walking with a pizza box in his hand towards the stairs. He stopped and smiled when he saw you.

“I ordered pizza, my favorite.”

Oh! That nickname. It had been so long since he called you that.

"I like pizza." You whispered.

"I know." He responded equally in a whisper. “I want to spoil you tonight. I’ll start with the food.”

You smiled at his gesture. You sat by the fireplace where you ate pizza and wine, talked banal things and laughed at silly things. When they finished, Helmut took you to the bedroom where he mounted you and fucked you hard. When he came it was his name that left your lips, You were happy about that. It was his name he said and not hers, but his happiness was short-lived. For in his sleep Helmut cried out to her. By Heike.

You got up and walked to the bathroom where you cried through the night, returning to bed before sunrise. When the day started, You just went downstairs, smiled and shared breakfast next to him. He didn't bring it up and you pretended everything was fine. He still said her name at inopportune moments where you pretended not to hear. His trips to the bathroom at night were becoming more and more frequent.

(...)

You and Helmut migrated to another country. You didn't know the exact location, but according to Oeznik, you were close to what would have once been Sokovia. You have settled into an immense residence, with several bedrooms, bathrooms and living rooms worthy of the title of Baron. The property was large; surrounded by trees and high walls with large silver gates.

"It's so big!" You exclaimed as you got out of the car and came across the mansion. “I’ve never seen a house as big as this one.”

“It’s been in my family for generations.” Helmut said. “I had to rebuild it after the fall of Sokovia, but here we are. You need to see your new home, Baroness.”

Helmut guided you inside where a line of employees waited for you. He introduced you one by one and indicated their services.

“They are here to serve your Baroness.” He whispered in her ear. “I know you will be a great lady for this property.”

“Yes” You mumbled. “I’m going to be a good lady.”

You really were a good lady; The employees tolerated you and things went reasonably well. However, the comparisons with the old lady still echoed between the walls, although Oeznik tried to hold the servants' tongues, it was not uncommon. You heard whispers among them about how Mrs. Heike had more class, how Mrs. Heike knew the Baron's tastes, how Mrs. Heike was beautiful, just as Mrs. Heike had given birth to a healthy boy. You tried to persuade Helmut to fire them, but he disapproved saying how difficult it was to find trustworthy people with his current fugitive status, he said that the former employees were trustworthy and Sokovia's last legacy. You just accepted your situation by hiding in the bathroom every time you heard her name echo.

“What was she like?” You questioned Oeznik one day as you walked through the estate. You felt trapped inside the house and decided to walk a little, Oeznik offered to keep you company.

“Madam...” said the old man with a clear sign of reprimand.

“Everyone loved her.” A bitter taste formed in his mouth. “Please tell me about him.”

“She was pretty.” He started to say. “She had noble blood in her veins and class in her feet. Their marriage was arranged, like all Sokovian royal marriages, but it worked. The young Baron loved her as soon as he saw her.”

You felt your throat close and your stomach tighten with the jealousy that formed.

“Did Helmut love her?”

"Yes."

You felt her eyes burn. You didn't know why she felt this way now, You knew how important she had been, the most important in Helmut's life, and there You were, wallowing in her insecure questions. His body shuddered in the icy breeze.

“Do I look like her?”

You needed to sink even deeper with your damned questions, which you knew the answer to, but you needed to hear it from someone else to torture yourself even more.

“A little, ma’am.” Oeznik seemed hesitant to continue. “You have similar trajectories, I would say. The courses taken in Germany and Spain, the way he dresses and even the necklace around his neck, it was the same necklace that the young Baron of Heike wore when he made their courtship official. He also called her his little dove.”

You let out a nervous sigh, barely holding back the tears. You turn and walk quickly towards the house, leaving the old butler behind. You feel your heart slowly submerge under the waves of pain. Your nimble feet guide you to a familiar place, the bathroom. You pass through the long corridors and the employees who whisper about your deplorable state. Reaching the bathroom door was a relief, because as soon as you reached the door, tears fell from your eyes.

Your mind reflects on how, little by little, Helmut turned you into her. He instructed you to dress like her, to study like her, to be like her. You were just a clay doll in the hands of the skilled sculptor to be sculpted to his whim. You wanted to leave, get as far away from him as possible, but as you stood there, feeling your heart breaking, you realized you couldn't leave. The love you felt for him kept you together, even the mention of leaving him could open a wound in your soul that You were fighting to stop.

After the tears dried, You performed your usual ritual; shower, cleanse and go downstairs as if nothing was happening. As if your soul wasn't broken, your bones aching and your heart stabbed. You found Helmut in his office carrying papers back and forth. He smiled when he saw you and patted your thigh indicating for you to sit there. You sat up and snuggled in, placing your face in his neck, inhaling the scent of his expensive cologne.

“Helmut.” You mumbled. "You love me?"

“Of course I love dove.” He kissed her forehead and turned his attention back to the papers.

Little dove, little dove, little dove, little dove, little dove. That word echoed in your ears and you bit your tongue to avoid crying.

The days passed quickly when You established a routine. You alternated between instructing the employees and paying attention to Helmut. Comparisons with the former lady seemed to have diminished drastically; Helmut no longer cried out to her in his dream, and the servants no longer whispered. You knew that there was a finger of the old butler behind this, but you chose to believe that it wasn't that. You preferred to believe that you had finally achieved your rightful place in Helmut's heart and the full respect of the employees. His trips to the bathroom no longer existed, that is, more or less. You no longer went to the bathroom to cry, but you often went to the bathroom to vomit.

It happened on a Saturday morning. You woke up early and left Helmut sleeping in bed, you walked to the kitchen to eat something since your stomach demanded food. You found a loaf of bread on the counter, when you put it in your mouth a wave of nausea came and you ran to the bathroom. After that morning you vomited for any nonsense.

"Enough." Helmut exclaimed when he saw you kneeling on the toilet putting out all the dinner. “We’re going to the doctor now.”

"It is not necessary." You said. "I am..."

You were interrupted by another wave of nausea where you let it all out again. The next day, the doctor came and diagnosed you with severe food poisoning; He recommended drinking plenty of fluids, avoiding heavy foods and using lactobacilli. You followed all the recommendations, but the nausea continued and with it came other symptoms; her blood pressure plummeted with every movement, her breasts felt like they wanted to explode, her period didn't start, the cramps kicked her ass and the fatigue was constant.

You spent half the day sleeping and the other half vomiting. It wasn't uncommon for Helmut to find you dozing in some corner of the house; You once dozed off while eating dinner. Helmut called the doctor again, this time; he diagnosed you with a virus. You constantly took anti-flu medications, drank lots of water and ate foods rich in fiber and vitamins. But the symptoms didn't go away at all. Helmut was visibly irritated by the doctor's incompetence in curing you.

On a Monday morning, you were in the kitchen devouring bread filled with ketchup and peanut butter; You had woken up that morning with a strange desire and decided to fulfill it, the crazy mixture proved to be delicious. A maid, named Jenna, found you in the kitchen eating your strange food.

"Madam." Greeted Jenna. “Can I help you with something?”

"Don't worry." You said with your mouth full. “I just felt like eating bread with ketchup and peanut butter. I must be going crazy, but this feels so good.”

“Are you having cravings?” The maid asked.

"Yes. Cravings, nausea, sleepiness and sore nipples. The doctor said it has a virus, but nothing is helping.”

You took a generous bite of your bread as Jenna seemed to ponder something.

“Did you take a pregnancy test?”

Her throat closed and you choked on a piece of bread stuck in your throat. Jenna ran to help you. You coughed, watered, and sniffled as you choked on the piece of dough. After the feeling passed, you looked at the maid in disbelief that she would suggest something so absurd.

"Do not say silly things. I can’t be pregnant.”

"Why not? She is a married woman. I'm sure the Baroness has been fulfilling her duties as a wife.”

Sex in your marriage was one thing You couldn't complain about. Helmut fucked you often and always ejaculated inside you; the use of condoms was no longer necessary. It wasn't in her plans to be a mother one day, but the idea of carrying a part of her and Helmut in her womb caused good feelings.

“Jenna.” You started talking. “I could go into town and buy some pregnancy tests.”

“Of course, my lady.”

Jenna brought five pregnancy tests from different brands. You used them all and to her surprise, all five gave a positive signal. You look down, moved by what you see and convinced yourself that you wanted this. With the tests in hand, You want this more than you could ever imagine. Your smile is dulled by the tears that fall silently on your features, You needed to tell him.

He loved you, the life you built together and he loved children. The loss of his son broke a part of him that he could never get over. Now, You had the chance to make him happy again, rebuild a new family. For hours, trapped in the bathroom, you try to gather the courage to tell him. Every time the time approached, you found excuses not to leave. But his plans were thwarted by a knock on the door.

“Little dove, are you there?” It was Helmut's voice behind the door. “Are you sick again? I will call the doctor.”

"No." You screamed, feeling despair flood your senses.

You didn't want him to find out like this, it wasn't fair. You would prepare a space moment where the news would be given and celebrated with kisses. You hide the pregnancy tests in a drawer full of towels and open the door to find him.

"Everything is fine?" He questioned worriedly.

“It’s okay” You reassured him. “Only one got sick quickly.”

“Come on, let’s get something to eat.” You followed him, dinner went well with conversations and jokes between you.

Keeping the secret proved difficult since every time you saw him you wanted to shout from the rooftops about your pregnancy. With Oeznik's help, you prepared a special night for you, complete with typical Sokovian food. It would be simple, Helmut would arrive at home at night where you would have dinner and then you would tell him the news. You took the day to take care of yourself, wanting to look pretty for him, you prepared your hair, did your nails and wore a beautiful purple dress, Helmut's favorite color.

You turned around to admire your appearance in the mirror, it looked beautiful. Her hands caressed her still unchanging stomach, feeling a mix of emotions for generating life in her womb. A silly smile formed on his lips as he imagined how good it would be to have a little boy or girl running down these long corridors with black hair and brown eyes like Helmut's. The feeling was interrupted by knocking on the door.

“Madam, the Baron has already arrived and is in his office.” It was Jenna. “Should I serve dinner?”

"Yes. Serve dinner and release other employees. I want to be alone with my husband today.”

Jenna left leaving You alone in the room. One last look at your reflection, You left the room heading towards the stairs. Your intention was to go to the dining room, but somehow You ended up passing through a door. Behind her were pictures, books and a large Persian rug. Adornments that probably dated back to the medieval age. The house was big and even after so long You hadn't seen all the rooms, it was not uncommon to get lost between the different doors that led to uninhabitable rooms.

Before You have the chance to turn around, voices reach your ears. The nature of the noises was obvious and, from the sounds, they were both having a serious conversation. You recognized Oeznik's soft voice followed by Helmut's Eastern European accented voice. You tried to find the source of the voice and came across a false wall with a vast view of Helmut's office, he and Oeznik seemed immersed in conversation.

"This is not right." Oeznik exclaimed.

You froze in your spot. The old butler never got excited, he always kept a soft and friendly voice. You decided to listen to more of the conversation.

“She is my wife.” Helmut said. “I will do whatever I want.”

“Turn her into the late Mrs. Zemo? For God's sake Helmut. This isn’t doing her any good, the employees comment on her constant trips to the bathroom to cry.”

You wanted to leave, get as far away from them as possible. But as you lay there, holding a piece of your heart, You realized you couldn't move.

“She is not Heike. She never will be.”

Every word that came out of his mouth was meant to hurt you whether intentionally or not. You held firm as you wanted to see where this would lead. You hear Helmut sigh and the echoing words break you forever.

“You have no idea how many times I imagined it was Heike next to me. How many times have I called for her. I almost asked if I could call her that, but instead I did it without permission. I never wanted her, not really. I just thought I would have another chance and I actually did; They are so similar physically and it was easy to compel her to do things that pleased me.”

Helmut was cruel. Helmut never loved You. He played with your heart for his own benefit. Deep down, you always knew, preferring to deceive yourself with small gestures of apology and accepting to play the role of the dead woman. He molded her like a little doll so she wouldn't be alone. He never saw you as a companion, a mind or a human being. You were just a substitute and the child You carried in your womb would soon play the role of the lost son.

A sudden pain hit his chest; his heart was no longer in place. The other times he broke your heart were nothing compared to this. The more his words stuck in her mind, the more intense the pain became. Waves of shock and grief hit his chest as You tried to process what was happening.

His feet retreat, your shaky legs failing as you try to move. One wrong move causes you to fall against a dresser that falls to the floor, causing a loud noise. You hear a surprised gasp from Helmut and, unfortunately for You, he emerges through a false door. With all the strength you have left, you turn to see him.

“Baby” You heard him whisper.

His eyes connect; he knew You had heard every word. His expression reflected the one You had when you heard them. The shock, the surprise and the sadness. He saw the pain on his face, the way you held on to a piece of furniture to keep from collapsing. A flash of regret ran through his eyes when he saw how you grabbed the necklace around his neck. The necklace that belonged to her, the damned Heike. The necklace that, even though he knew what it meant, never left his neck so as not to hurt him.

You lost yourself over the years to make him happy. You allowed yourself to have your heart crushed multiple times just to satisfy you and receive nothing but disappointment in return. He never cared about you and he would never care about the child that was forming in your womb.

“Let’s talk.” You heard him beg. “Let’s order pizza and talk about it.”

You didn't let out a tear when you heard his apology. You also didn't cry when you ripped the necklace from your neck and threw it towards him. You didn't cry when you went upstairs and locked yourself in your room. You didn't cry when Helmut desperately banged on the door clamoring for your attention. You didn't cry, not even when you made the decision to leave, packing all your clothes, shoes and jewelry in your suitcases ready to leave forever; You no longer cried for Helmut J. Zemo. He could go fuck himself for everything he caused you.

(…)

Waking up the next day was relatively easy. You got up, brushed your teeth, skin care routine, passport, suitcases and handbag with intimate items. Everything was in its right place. You closed your bags and left them next to the door. A quick look at the clock you had on your dresser indicating that it was not long before you left that place and never came back. You opened the bedroom door and allowed two servants to enter who took your bags.

“Put them in the car, boys.” You instructed.

"Yes ma'am." They said together leaving the room with their bags.

One last look at the room, You walked out the door heading towards the stairs. You found the bastard at the foot of the stairs waiting for you. He had a swollen face, indicative of a bad night's sleep, with messy hair, something so unusual for him. A part of You liked seeing him so broken. Helmut was selfish and evil. You put an end to his selfishness and evil.

"Let me pass." You demanded the moment he stood in front of you, blocking your exit.

“Please let me...”

“Whatever You have to say, I don’t want to hear it. Get out of my way let me go, stop being such an idiot.”

His own words surprised him. You never had the strength to face him, not really, nor to release the anguish you felt for so long. Your words were met with silence, none of You dared to speak. His breathing became heavy, after a few minutes, Helmut finally gave in and broke the silence.

"Sorry." He whispers.

“That doesn’t solve anything.” You snort.

"I know." he says. "Where are you going?"

Maybe it would be better to just turn around and walk away, before the conversation gets worse. That would have been the right thing to do. Unfortunately, the sadness was not motivated by reason.

“You are a patient and persistent man, I know you will figure it out on your own.”

"Do not go, please." He begged. "Please, do not go. Do not leave me alone. Stay. I will improve how I treat myself and I will never hurt you again. I love you dear."

On a normal day you'd go back to him for a lot less. A few days ago, you would have given him everything, without a doubt. But now, the devotion You had for him was buried. A high wall was built around his heart and not even the warmest words could break it down.

"Stay." He begged again. “It will be different.”

Helmut's love was strange. He appeared to be generous, but he was destructive and cruel. He never had anything to give you other than scraps; it was easy to let yourself be fooled with good charisma. A part, deep in his head, begged you to come back to him. But it wasn't fair to You to allow yourself to live all of this once again and it wouldn't be fair to the child You were carrying. Helmut was not worthy of You, he was not worthy of his son, he was not worthy of anything. You had to save yourself, You had to save what little was left of your heart.

"No."

With the final word You left without looking back. Carrying with him a son that Zemo wouldn't live with, he didn't deserve this, he didn't deserve anything that came from You. One day, with persistence, he would discover the existence of a child conceived by you, but it wouldn't be You who would tell. As the car drives, you lean your head against the window, caress your stomach and allow yourself to dream of a day that would open your heart again.

#helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo #helmut zemo #zemo x reader #falcon and the winter soldier #fatws #zemo x you #marvel mcu #dark!fic #zemo

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addict-rat · 3 months

Text

Night Ties

Summary: You were a very famous hunter monsters, one day you decide to go after a famous vampier, but he was very aware of that and he change all your life.

Paring: Helmut Zemo Vampire x F!Reader Human

Words count: 3595 words

Warnings: +18 explicit, mention of blood, poor written smut, p in v, spanks, unprotected sex, bitting, ropes, bondage, desk sex, a little CNC, bondage. fingering, dominant/submissive.

Author’s note: Holas, I was writting this long ago, but I kinda forget when I get obsses with Ch.ai and all that, but here it is, I might be writting more of Zemo in the future. Please feel free to write me for any mistake I made or any suggestion.

You had begun to make a name for yourself within the small towns that were frightened by all those over-natural beings. It was many of those people that lived dominated by supernatural beings, whether they were werewolves, witches, vampires, etc. However, among the people they were more feared and dominated by vampires and werewolves.

It was for that reason that you began to gain popularity, you were known as part of the good cause dedicated to killing or hunting such beings. Not only were you doing that, but they were very few, not many survived them, and for that very reason it was that very few wanted to take their lives to kill a few of them. The few people who did so had a reason to simply want to get rid of them.

You did it for revenge, your mother had been killed by one of them, all the people you lived in had been attacked by werewolves, but it was not them who killed your mother, you had managed to flee before they saw them. Deep in the woods when they thought the werewolves could no longer find them, they stayed for a moment near a river to grab strength and find safety, yet their mother heard noises in the distance, afraid that something might happen to you, I took her to a small cave near the river, told her to rest there and come out until there was sunlight. With the ingenuity of a child, he was obvious and did what I ask, when the light came out he called his mother without any answer from her, came out of the small cave, I looked for her by the gunmen until he found her pale and lifeless body.

She wasn’t looking to find the killers who killed her mother, because she knew she’d never find him, she knew it wasn’t human, what killed her, she knew it was what killed her, but again she wasn’t looking for her killer to never happen to anyone else. He was aware that he could not kill each of them, but with his perseverance and courage he could perhaps make more people unite and decide to end the dominance of these beings.

You had come to a small town where it was dominated by vampires, especially a special one. You knew how to deal with vampires, you’d learned from your group, they’d taught you their weaknesses especially. You could say that you were a little popular not only among humans but also within these "monsters", they had divided to hunt these vampires, it was expected that the majority lived in mansions or even castles, were arrogant and presumed most of them, but they were also intelligent, manipulative and persuasive.

You had decided to go ahead, you already had experience you did not believe that something could go wrong, so you had made a plan to get into that castle, which was simple, it was not like vampires had bodyguards or anything. They didn’t watch the whole castle, so you looked for a room that nobody had set foot in many years ago.

That’s how you ended up like this now, kneeling, your hands tied on a short chain that was stuck on the floor. You heard a few steps and saw a man dressed elegantly, his hair well-groomed. —What a foolish, hunter— he sneered, his voice echoing throughout the chamber. —I’m surprised you made it this far. You must be very brave or very dumb— You only stare at him as if you look could kill him. —Don't look at me like that, darling. Who are you to judge me? You are the one trespassing on my home. I could kill you right now for your insolence, if I so desired. But I feel... merciful— He say getting closer to him, in your position you have to look up to him, feeling like so insignificant in that position. —I don't know if you are brave or foolish, or just a bit of both— He was now very close to you, you feel his hand touching your cheek —You intrigue me.—

That took you for surprised other vampires they have just taken all your blood of your body and leave you completely drain. ��How can I intrigue you? — Your voice sounds almost sarcastic, but there was confusion there. —Oh, little one, you’re so much more than “just a human”— He leans down and run a finger along your face, gently stroking your chin and jawline. —You have hunted my kind… Even I don’t really care about those ones, is really fascinating to see someone like you murdered that kind of vampires— He takes your chin tilting up so you can his eyes, his crimson red eyes, you could not deny that I cause you to send a chill in your spine. —But that doesn’t take the fact you’re very foolish to come to my home and try to kill me… You’re here not just by coincidence, I bring you here you alone… Ever since I found out about your existence, which wasn’t a year ago, I’ve been watching every step you take, every decision you make, piqued my curiosity, my dear… Of course I had to bring you here with me.—You feel his fingers caressing your chin as he doesn’t let you go, the two of them staring. —M-my friends… They know I’ll come here, they’ll get worried and they’ll come here to help me— Your voice trying sound convinced that they will come to rescue you. —Yes, they certainly would come here and try to rescue you… But let me ask you a question... Do you know how many hunters have entered my domain? How many have existed?… Like I told you, you’re here because I want you to be here alone, I know where your friends are, and I know who are with them, I can make your friends get killed right now, but I will not do that yet…—He says in a threatening voice —B-but there are a lot of people that know me… Th-they will get worried… And they know I’m here— You say with a desperation tone —Hmmm... I'm sure there are many that know you, yes. But what will they do about it, hmm? Come to my domain? The place where hunters never return from? I admire your courage, my love, but I do not think your "friends" are going to come rescue you... And talking about your friends, I know you love them because you see a family in them.— Your eyes get worried and surprised —What if we make a deal… You have two options, you can stay here and we both wait for your friends and I killed them one by one, slowly and painfully in front of you… Or you can save them by submitting to me and save them, but you have to behave or there will be punishments for you for your bad behavior… You’ll have to write a letter to your friends saying that you retired from vampire hunting, that you found love and now you’ll dedicate yourself to staying with him and pleasing him in all his spades… Now take your decision, but we don’t have all day, darling so you better hurry up— You couldn’t believe that not only he have trapped you, now you have to submit to him to save your friends, he’s using them to get you, and he’s achieved it. You don’t have any option. You regret coming alone and not waiting for others to accompany you.

He kneels before you, his head moves to your neck as you can feel his breath, he lift a trail of kiss on the side of your neck —Frist I want a little bite, I want to taste your sweet blood— his teeth and fangs brush in your neck, you can feel the sharp of his fangs on your neck, then you feel how his fangs they break through your skin, you bite your lip trying to not make any noise, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of the sound of your pain. He sucks your blood for a few minutes, you start looking dark circles as you feel more weak until you close your eyes and you remain unconscious.

When you wake up, you were laying on the ground, your hands remain tied, you tried to sit down but your body was so weak, you didn´t know how long you were there locked. You don’t have any other option, so you have to access his deal. He comes back after some time. —Did you take your decision?— He looks down at you, looking deep at your eyes, you only could nod —I’ll submit to you— Your eyes look down as you say that, he smiles at your choice, he kneels and take your chin looking at your eyes. —Good girl. I will untie you, I know you’re weak so you can’t attack me, even if you try you only have your hands to try it, darling.— He takes the handcuffs in your wrists, you don’t even try to do anything, he lifts you up in his shoulder, your tired eyes didn’t even look the way he is taking you, until you feel the soft mattress of the bed, after a few minutes you fall asleep.

You couldn’t believe after years of hunting and killing vampires you end up cleaning the castle of a vampire. You were walking in a corridor and open one of the rooms, you look around and see there were black curtains on the wall, that’s when you notice it wasn’t a wall is a window, you open the curtain and you realize it wasn’t evening yet, you calculated around 4 or 5 pm, that means the sun was still up. You haven’t noticed the time until right now, and after Zemo wasn’t around, you could escape you have a few hours before the sun sets.

You didn’t take too much to find a door that leads to the yard, and for your luck it wasn’t locked. You open the door and go out, you see your surroundings and walk through the yard, it didn’t take you long to arrive in the forest that surrounded the castle, you walk with joy to the forest, without noticing there were two deep eyes looking you walk in the forest.

One of Zemo’s butler have notified about your “escape”. —My Lord, the lady has run away to the forest alone, I think she’s trying to escape, but I don’t think she might go too far after the sun sets… I know the forest is very tricky for someone doesn’t know it— Of course Zemo knows the forest like the palm of his hand.

Zemo looks up at the butler with a sharp look. —Very good, I'll take care of it.— He says, as he stands up from his desk. —Thank you for the information.— Once the butler leaves, Zemo smiles slightly to himself. —Run away, have you, my love? So eager for danger, eh?— He thinks for himself looking at the window of his room.

When the sun went down, Zemo went out to look for you soon enough to find you, you were lost and your solution was to climb a tree to the top and see from above, which clearly did not work and only served to stay trapped in one of the branches, you couldn’t get off and you probably stayed there for a few minutes until I found you —Do you know what a stubborn and foolish creature you truly are, my love? — He gets close to you, but he did nothing to help you. —Can you help me please, sir? — You didn’t have any other option but plead for his help. His cold, dark eyes look down at you. —Why should I help you? You were so eager to leave. To run away. To defy me. And yet now, when you are caught, you beg me for help?— You weren’t in a position to act up and try to get the worst out of him —Don't worry dear, I already have an idea of what to do with you…– You watch him walk away, he didn't come back after some minutes, you were scared and cold, you couldn't see anything in the darkness of the night.—

Of course, he leave you in the damn tree for a few hours and then one of his servants brings you back to your room. You wake up in your bed, one of the servants enters after some minutes to your room, he was very nice to you, he serves you food and make sure you weren’t hurt last night. Until he mention that Zemo wanted to see you in his room after you have eaten, your face goes pale you know the reason why he wanted to see you.

You finish your food and get dressed before to go to Zemo’s room, with a soft knock at the door you make your presence noticeable to him, you heard him talk in the inside of the room, you open the door and Zemo look up to you to meet your gaze. –Do you want to see me, sir? – You asked when you enter into the room –Yes come here, darling– You obey and stand closer to him, he stands up from his chair behind the desk –So, darling… You have a bad behaviour last night, and you know the consequences of your bad behaviour– He moves behind you while he talks, you softly nod when he finishes, feeling his hands on your hips caressing slowly you feel your cheeks getting hot, you couldn't help but bite your lip when you feel his lips brushing your neck, leaving light kisses, You bite your lip as he moves closer to that sensitive spot on your neck, his kisses getting more longer as he was close to that sensitive spot, you almost moan when you know he was about to kiss you there but instead he pats your hips lightly and pull away slightly. –This is a punishment, my dear. I know you're enjoying this and maybe you get a little more if you behave after your punishment… Now bend over the desk. – He says in a commanding tone, you didn't hesitate and do it, one of his hands move to tease your legs, his fingers brushing your thighs lifting slowly the hem of your dress, your face now red for the situation, he saw the way you press your thighs together, his fingers move to pull down your panties slowly until the small fabric falls on the floor.

—Such a pretty thing… See how obedient you can be— You bite your lip when his hand starts to caress your ass cheek, in the unexpected moment he slaps your ass a little to hard to make you moan, Zemo smirk when he gets a reaction from you. You heard one of the drawers open, you couldn’t see what is going on, you just wait impatiently. Then you feel his hands covered in the gloves of leather caressing your thighs –Oh darling we gonna have so much fun– he leans closer to you in a soft whisper, his hot breath against your ear, as you feel his grown erection inside your ass —I want you to count this one, I want you to count 20 and then I’ll stop, but if you don't say it loudly and right I’m gonna start again. — He pulls away and his hand caresses your ass cheek with the glove leather then again he slaps your ass, the leather makes your soft skin sting —O-one… — a soft moan come out of your mouth.

The slaps get even harder when the number gets higher, making you more difficult to count right —I didn't hear you right, sweetheart he has to start again… — You were for the 17 slap after start over 3 times, his slaps get harder every time you make him repeat.

After several times, you finally reach to 20, you couldn’t believe how much your ass sting and hurt, you didn't have to look to see how red it was, as you couldn't believe how wet your inner thighs and folds were, you don't want to admit how turn it on you have get when he spanks you. Zemo look at you with satisfaction, he leans closer to you, a soft moan leaves your lips when you feel the rough fabric of leather caressing your inner thighs —Such a good girl… Already so wet for me, that was supposed to be a punishment not for you to enjoy— He chuckled softly, his hands moving to your wet folds, a soft moan leaves your lips as you feel his finger teasing your folds to your clit making slow circles, making you squirm under him, with a warning he push two of his fingers deep inside of you the leather glove makes his finger more thick, he moves his hands in a slow pace, he was enjoying the way you squirm under him, your little whimpers and moans. —You're so responsive— he murmurs, his voice dark and seductive. —I can feel every pulse, every quiver. You belong to me now, don't you? — His voice possessive close to your ear in a whisper —Y-yes, I’m yours… — You whine, you were so close to your orgasm. —That's what I want to hear— he says, pushing another digit inside you. —You're mine and you'll do as I say. — His fingers thrust into you in a faster pace, filling you up completely.

—You’ll cum when I say you can— With that he continues to finger you, his other hand moves closer to your clit, his fingers start rubbing that sensitive nub. Your walls squeezing his fingers as you were trying to not cum in his hand, not until he tells you that you can. You squirm and beg for him to let you come.

—Cum for me, sweetheart… Cum around my fingers. — And you did, you cum around his fingers with a loud cry, he continue milking your organs moving his fingers in and out while he continues rubbing your clit. He stops when you finally finish your orgasm, he withdraw his fingers slowly, a soft whine comes out of your mouth.

You close your eyes for a few seconds trying to get your breath –Don’t fall asleep already, sweetheart… I'm not close to finish with you. – You try to turn to look at him when you feel the tip of his cock on your swollen folds, he groaned, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he pushed into you, filling you up with his length. You only could moan loudly and squirm under him. Your tightness around him felt incredible as he began to thrust slowly, taking his time to stretch you out. —So tight and warm for me… — His lips curled into a smile as he felt your pussy clench around his cock. He increased his pace, thrusting harder and faster. The sounds of their bodies slapping together filled the room, punctuated by your moans and gasps of pleasure. You don't want to admit it, but he was making you feel the pleasure you never though you could get. Zemo moves to kiss your neck and shoulders as he continues thrusting in you in a rough pace, his grip on your hips was strong, that's gonna leave you bruises the next day. You cry louder when you feel his fangs break the skin in your shoulder, taking your blood. —So sweet and all mine— he whisper on your ear after take some blood of your body, his hand move to your clit, he moan when he feel your inner walls clenching around his cock, he pick more faster and rougher the pace, you can feel the tip of his cock hitting om your cervix, making you squirm under him, you didn't even think straight in that moment he was fucking you deep and senses that you only moan and whimper, you have lost the count of how many times he had make you cum.

Seeing you all ruin for the pleasure just arouse more Zemo, he grabs your face making you to face him and he takes you in a messy kiss, with a deep thrust his cum inside of you filling you up with his warm seed.

Zemo stays inside of you for a few seconds as he catches his breath, you were laying on his desk, blushing and panting, he pulls out of you, his seed come out of your swollen pussy, dripping on your thighs and floor, your red ass checks just give him the imagination of you that he wants —What a messy girl you are, What you're “fans” will think of you? Their little hunter here on my desk all marked by me, you don't want they find out the truth about you? That you enjoy being my little maid and warm my bed. Don't worry, my love that's not gonna happen, because you're mine and you will stay here by my side—

You try to run away a few more times, but the punishment gets even worse with the time that you start to get used to stay around him, you even start to crave for his touch and his sweet words, you fall in love with him, and now you were tied to him for the rest of your life.

#fanfic #zemo x y/n #baron zemo x reader smut #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo #marvel #smut #zemo x you smut #zemo x reader smut #baron zemo #female reader #daniel bruhl x reader #daniel brühl #vampire #vampire zemo #dark!fic #dark!zemo #dark!helmut zemo x reader

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iobsessoverfictionalmen · 1 year

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Hunting Roses - Chapter 4

AN: This is a yandere Zemo fic. That means that it will have dark content. I do not endorse these relationships and behaviour in real life. This chapter contains mentions of death, tears, pain, divorce, grief, manipulation, fear, panic, and funerals. Also, please let me know if you like the new mood board!

Steve Rogers who was also known as Captain America was not having a good day. To begin with, General Ross, a man who operated on fear and not respect had introduced the Sokovian Accords to the Avengers. In doing so, Ross had ensured that each one of the Avengers thoroughly understood that an overwhelming majority of the governments around the world supported the Accords and what would happen to anyone who opposed the Accords in any way, shape, or fashion.

Steve wasn’t blind. He’d seen the way that Ross zeroed in on Wanda and heard how he kept repeating and emphasising the complete title of the Accords. He was proud of the way that you and Rhodey had stood up for her.

Steve’s mind was whirring when Ross announced that you had immunity and the other Avengers didn’t. He had just realised that the singular offer of manipulation was part of a bigger, hidden plan when his phone vibrated.

The message that lit up his screen only contained two words. But those words were enough to cause another crack in his heart. Steve’s gaze became unfocused and all he could see were the words, “She’s gone.”

His body trembled as he announced that he had to leave. Steve couldn’t bring himself to turn around to look at any of his team because he feared that they would see the tears pooling in his eyes and the pain in his heart.

Fifteen minutes later, Steve found himself carrying Peggy’s coffin with five other people. He had tuned out the whole service and his gaze had become blurry as he stared unblinkingly at Peggy’s coffin. While there were certainly people in the church that knew of his dual identity, he was sure that none of them would judge him for his grief.

The end of the service came too quickly and not fast enough for Steve and he once again found himself guiding Peggy to her final resting place. Due to the large crowd, it was easy for him to slip away and return to the now empty church.

That was where Natasha found him. Natasha had just finished explaining that Tony, Rhodey, and Vision had already signed the Accords. When Steve asked about Wanda, Natasha replied that Wanda was under house arrest and Tony’s protection.

Steve’s throat felt dry as he gathered his courage to ask Natasha if she had signed the Accords too. He was afraid that her answer would mean that he would lose another friend.

Steve felt his heart constrict as Natasha confirmed that she had signed the Accords. He blew out his breath in a disappointed exhale and bent his head to look at the ground instead of Natasha. Steve couldn’t even find it in himself to reproach Natasha when her phone rang in the church and she answered it.

His head shot up when he heard her tone change.

“Say that again,” the spy commanded, lowering the hand that held her phone to waist level and pressing the speaker button.

“I’d be more than happy to arrange a hearing appointment for you, Widow, although I didn’t think that I’d need to do that for a couple more decades.”

“Tony.” Natasha snapped.

“Not in the mood for jokes I see.” Tony replied smoothly.

“What gave it away?” Natasha asked sarcastically.

“The general tone of your voice, the fact that….”

“Tony!” Steve bit out impatiently.

“Steve. I’m sorry to hear about Peggy,” Tony stated sombrely, “and I hate to be the bearer of more unwelcome news but (Name) is nowhere to be found and a woman claiming to be the ex-wife of Baron Helmut Zemo has arrived at the compound along with Zemo’s father and son. They are insistently demanding to talk to as many of us as they can.”

Steve’s feelings about Natasha signing the Accords were pushed to the side at Tony’s words and he and Natasha shared concerned looks.

“We’ll be there in ten minutes,” Natasha promised.

Steve couldn’t think of a time when he had been more grateful for Natasha’s driving ability even if she was a slightly reckless driver on normal occasions. Neither of them spoke as she sped through the streets arriving at the compound in exactly ten minutes.

Steve’s curiosity and apprehension built with every step. He and Natasha walked in silence through the compound and Steve pretended not to notice her side glances every few minutes. While he walked, he wondered exactly what the Zemo family was doing at the compound. He also worried about the fact that you had disappeared from the compound.

Over your time with the Avengers, Steve had been able to piece together bits and pieces of your history. His mind kept returning to the fact that years ago, you and some others had fought against a bill called the Mutant Registration Act. The reminder of the Act was enough to have Steve fighting a shudder. He’d done some research on that act and he had been appalled at the fact that the Act had even been allowed to enter the Congress chambers.

Steve had also been horrified at the amount of support that the Act had amassed. It seemed that the America he had fought for in the forties was slowly slipping away and being replaced with an unfamiliar, unpredictable, and harsher America.

Three people stood up from their chairs as Steve and Natasha entered the conference room. Tony, Rhodey, Clint, Wanda and Sam all turned to look at them. Vision was the only one who didn’t. His head was cocked to the side and he was gazing at Wanda with concern. While Natasha sought Clint’s gaze for reassurance, Steve looked at Wanda. Her eyes were red and the skin around them was red too and Steve felt sympathy and protectiveness surge through him. He also noticed that Vision was standing close to her.

When Wanda spoke, her voice was firm, “Baron Heinrich Zemo, Heike Párduc, and Carl Zemo, may I introduce Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff?”

Steve frowned slightly as he tried to figure out why Wanda had introduced the three visitors the way she had. The closest he could get to an answer was that Wanda wanted to introduce them as humans not by their job titles. He melted when he saw Carl wave to him and he returned the gesture.

“And your other friend? Phantasm?” Heinrich demanded forcefully, “Where is she? We came to speak with her!”

Steve’s mind registered the with in Heinrich’s sentence and for some reason, that four letter word had his muscles tensing. Steve estimated that Heinrich was in his mid-sixties but the man still had a formidable air around him. Heike seemed to have a similar fire in her eyes. With her styled, curly blonde hair and light blue eyes, Steve could be forgiven for thinking that Heike was a woman he had encountered in the forties.

Heike’s son on the other hand had innocent brown eyes underneath furrowed eyebrows and neatly parted, short brown hair. It was easy to tell that Heinrich and Carl were related just by looking at them and Steve’s heart sank because if he could spot the similarities, chances are that other people could as well and Carl could be used as leverage against his family simply because his grandfather was royalty.

Heike turned to her son, who had sat down again while looking at Steve with an awed expression.

“Show them what you can do,” Heike urged quietly and Carl frowned deeply, closing his eyes. When Carl reopened them, Steve was shocked to see his shield sitting on the table between them.

Without thinking about it, Steve reached forwards to touch his shield but his hand passed through it as if it wasn’t there.

“Carl’s talent appeared the night we left Sokovia.” The Baron rumbled, his voice losing some of its forcefulness as Heike smiled at Carl proudly and the illusion of Steve’s shield vanished when Carl grinned happily up at his mother.

“We think it has something to do with his father’s innate talent of persuading people to see his point of view,” the Baron continued. Steve understood the underlying meaning of the Baron’s words. It seemed that the Baron’s son had no qualms about using words or force to encourage his audience to see his point of view.

“Though that isn’t the only reason why we came,” Heike revealed, “it is a small part of it. We all wanted to thank Phantasm for her actions in Sokovia and we wanted to warn her.”

“Warn her?” Clint echoed, “Why?”

Wanda and Heike looked at each other and then Heike asked Wanda and Vision to take Carl on a tour of the compound. Heike and Heinrich watched them leave and then Heike turned back to face Steve. When she spoke, Steve noticed that her voice had risen slightly and he could detect notes of urgency and panic in it though her tone remained level.

“You must understand that Helmut and I fell out of love a long time ago. We chose to stay together for Carl and because we didn’t want to give the Sokovian media any opportunity to report gossip. I’m sure you understand that concept.”

The present Avengers all made small noises of agreement.

Heike cleared her throat, “When we landed in America and had not heard from Helmut, I began to dream of a different life. In Sokovia, not only was he a former Colonel of the Sokovian Armed Forces but he was a commander of EKO Scorpion, an elite strike force. As a result of his time with those organisations, I began to witness a darker side of the man. There was a ruthlessness to him and so, I quietly made inquires about divorcing him. Heinrich found out about my endeavours and to my surprise, he supported me.”

“People change over time.” Heinrich asserted, “Sometimes it is not for the better.”

Tony nodded, “I’ve had that happen to me once or twice with people I’ve known for a long time.”

Heike nodded, “Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, I was able to recover the divorce papers that I had signed before we fled Sokovia. When Helmut arrived unexpectedly on our doorstep, he inquired about your friend and there was a longing hidden in his inquires and I thought to myself, “Why would he hide his intrigue?” All of the answers I considered left a bitter taste in my mouth and so, I took the opportunity and presented Helmut with the divorce papers that I signed. As soon as he left, I felt as if I had played right into his hands and so, we made plans to come here to warn Phantasm. It seems we have arrived too late and she is gone.”

“I have a few ideas where she might have gone.” Natasha spoke up reassuringly and some of the tension left Heike’s body although Steve saw that Heinrich was still unconvinced, “We’ll find her and we’ll tell her what you told us.”

“I will also admit that I am worried about Carl,” Heike continued and Heinrich nodded, “while I know that Helmut would be incredibly protective and if the occasion asked for it, downright wrathful if any of his enemies tried to harm Carl in any manner, Carl is a young boy who adores his father. He knows he has a talent and if he thought he could help his father by using this talent…” Heike trailed off. Steve could see the shock on all the Avengers’ faces particularly Natasha, Rhodey and Tony’s faces at the implication that an innocent child could be manipulated into helping his father simply because they were related.

Heinrich confirmed the hidden message in Heike’s final speech for the Avengers, “It would be best if Helmut never found out about his son’s talent but we do not live in an ideal world. We must be practical. Do you know of a place where my grandson can learn to use his talent safely and without fear?”

“There’s a place called Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters,” Natasha explained “and it would be the first place (Name) would go to feel safe again. On the outside, it appears that the school is academically focused but that is a façade. Its true purpose is to provide a safe environment for children and adults like Carl.”

“Can you escort him there?” Heike pleaded, “I fear that my ex-husband has eyes and ears everywhere and that it will be sooner rather than later that he finds out about Carl’s gift.”

Natasha raised her chin, “I will escort him there and do my absolute best to protect him,” she vowed.

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zemossunshine · 1 year

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Sunshine Chapter 45

Pairings: Zemo x You Bucky x You

Summary: Falling in love with a villain. This will start sweet and then go very dark.

Warnings for this chapter:Threats.

Darling I have been afraid, I could only call your name. Thank the heavens that you stayed, but if I’m telling you the truth, when I cut the tether loose, it was me saving you. So tell me did you ever really want me? Did you ever really love me, now that I see you clearer. I wonder, was I ever really happy? Lyrics owned by Demi Lovato.

–

“Who are you?”

A sharp intake of breath from both Sam and Bucky, not Zemo, he was prepared as you were. Every muscle in your body tensed, you had to be ready for whatever reaction came from Zemo. You had to be alert at all times, you couldn't afford for this not to work, you couldn't afford to be in any more situations that brought out the worst in you.

“Can you tell us your name?” Sam asked.

“I don’t remember.” You answered automatically, almost robotically.

“What is the last moment you recall?” Zemo asked softly.

“I don’t remember.” You repeated a bit more firmly, that was your new mantra. That you just didn't remember. That you had no memories at all, not one, at the very least it was plausible. This was the only way out of all this mess. Maybe if you just said you forgot it all, then one day you could. To start over as Wanda suggested, the opportunity was too good to pass up. You would begin again, all of the questions that swirled in your mind would go unanswered, the questions screaming at you, would only ever be met with silence. You had to swallow the truth for years and now everyone else would have to, they would just have to deal with it. To be with Rebecca, but not as her mother, it would keep her safe and you were sure it would hurt more than anything you had ever known. You couldn’t give yourself away as easily anymore, you just had to convince everyone that this was the truth. Manipulate them into believing you, to try and beat Zemo at his own game. Fighting all of your instincts and the heavy pit in your stomach you slowly raised your head, schooling your expression. Zemo’s head was inclined, his honey eyes penetrating your very being, as if he were back in oblivion. The weight of his gaze clawed at your throat and yet you couldn’t look away. He reached out with an ice pack and placed it gently on your head, you forced yourself to remain still as he got closer, you blew out a breath when the coolness touched your skin. You attempted a grateful smile, all while your heart pounded. The veneer of control he had was truly something to behold.

“How are you feeling?” Zemo breathed out as if he were in heaven.

“Dizzy, foggy, my heart hurts.” You reeled off the symptoms of a concussion that you looked up earlier in the day. Breaking eye contact with Zemo you looked up at Bucky. His icy glare felt colder than the coolness on your head. “I should go.” You murmured giving into the parts of you telling you to flee.

“No.” Zemo and Bucky answered in unison. You swallowed thickly. The instant denial, you would never leave this house and you knew that, but all of the attention was focused on you. You were grateful to not immediately wake in the basement but this was three pairs of eyes staring, piercing your brain, reading you like an open book and it was far more than you were used to.

“What’s the big emer-” Maria halted, wide eyes staring at you. They called Maria while you were under and here she was, relief at seeing her flooded you, you weren't going to be as isolated as you thought. Maria started into a sprint for you, Bucky pulled her back and shook his head with an expression telling Maria to tread carefully.

“Maria, I discovered this woman at the boundary of my property. She is having difficulty identifying herself.”

Maria frowned, took in the look on each man's face and then presented herself to you with a strained smile. “My name is Maria, I work for a government agency, I’ll need your fingerprints. Is there anything you need?”

Victor. I want Victor.

Zemo’s eyes narrowed. Shit. You shook your head vigorously which brought on a wave of nausea you suspected had been sitting just under the surface from the moment you opened your eyes. Being alone in a room didn’t bode well for you in the past. Maria took a fingerprint on her device and handed it back blindly to whoever took it first, which of course was Zemo. You knew exactly what information he would see, the last remnants you and Maria left behind. All three men crowded around the small screen. Zemo’s face didn’t move at all. Sam started chewing his lip, Bucky gave a single terse nod.

“No matches I’m afraid.” Zemo lied. Maria whipped her head around and Zemo smiled cunningly at her. But it was what you wanted, what you needed. You needed to be a stranger and most importantly not his wife, despite the thin gold band residing on his finger. Bucky made a move towards the door and sure enough everyone’s eyes followed him.

“Dad?” A tiny voice mumbled. Zemo swiftly lifted Rebecca into his arms and a genuine smile spread across your face. Her nightie was askew, her hair dishevelled, bleary eyed she rested her head on Zemo’s shoulder gripping onto a white wolf teddy which dangled from her hand. Maria rushed to move out of the way and Zemo resumed his position at the edge of the bed. Rebecca pulled away and her hands landed on your chest, shocked you looked around, you didn’t know what to do, she continued to crawl up onto you. Fear. Utter terror coursed through you. Yet Zemo has this look, that you were finally where you belonged, that Rebecca was sleeping on your chest, that you were both safe, both home. We made this, she’s perfect. Yet you knew that came with a clause, you would be imprisoned. Zemo rested a hand on her back and inhaled deeply, as if he finally could breathe, knowing you were both safe.

“You should get some sleep.” Sam interjected, jerking his head towards the door, indicating that he was not as sold on this as everyone else. That a game plan needed to be established. You tried to sit up for Zemo to take Rebecca back, you weren't exactly comfortable with her being this close to someone so evil.

“Rebecca is safe with you.” Zemo said sternly, you weren't so sure about that. You didn’t even move your hands, they were still stuck at your sides, the hands that had caused so much destruction shouldn't touch something as precious as Rebecca. As Zemo left he took a picture of you for what he said was for facial recognition. Beaming down and the messy mousey brown hair, that was all you could see, you couldn't believe that you were finally with Rebecca, you could finally see her, be in her presence, live with her, you so desperately wanted to hold her and never let go. All of the things you missed, you never got to do, push a pram, rock her to sleep, see her, all of her firsts, her first smile, first steps, first word, hold her when she cried and you could cope with that, You would go back and miss it all over as long as she never had to live like you had. You slowed your breathing to match her shallow breaths and soon your heart slowed. You waited until Bucky gave the signal on the other side of the door, that as far as he could hear, you were sleeping.

“We need to get her checked out.” Sam started.

“She isn’t leaving Sam, ever.” Bucky growled.

“Buck use that cyborg brain of yours, she lived with-”

“We can’t tell her.” Maria’s voice sounded so small.

“You expect me to keep a mother from her child?” Zemo fumed quietly.

“We won’t be, they’ll be together.” Maria offered.

“A life that is a complete fallacy. I won’t withhold that information from her.” Zemo stressed.

“Then tell her, but she told us to drop a building on her head a week ago. She won’t cope knowing what, who she really is.” Maria lamented.

“No way, I don’t like this. She told me you all did this to her, sent her over the edge.” Sam butted in.

“It’s not up to you.” Maria shut Sam up just with her tone. “It’s not even up to me.” Her voice shifted into something that sounded like it was in pain, you knew how much it would hurt her to hand this power to Zemo again. “You can give her the life she deserves Zemo. We, no you, you can save her.”

Not a moment passed when the door bounced back from being flung open so forcefully and in your panic you instinctively protected Rebecca, placing your hands on her to shield her from whatever was coming. She didn’t even twitch, Zemo’s eyes changed to something more shrewd, he was holding back. He sat on the edge of the bed, hands firmly on his knees in some sort of turmoil, he had to give you up, set you free, just as Oeznik said, although he knew that this is not exactly what Oeznik had in mind.

“Your name is Sunshine. No living relatives, no missing person’s report. You have seemingly appeared from thin air. You will assimilate into life with myself and Rebecca from now on. Her mother-” Zemo looked away briefly, as if he couldn’t bear to look at you to lie about this, “Passed away from complications in childbirth.”

“Oh.” You remarked, trying to take in the information of your new existence, you and Zemo didn't have any family, all you had was each other. By saying you weren't Rebecca's mother she would never have to face the truth, that she was the offspring of evil, you and Zemo both were and you couldn't allow her to be. Couldn't let her know the monster you had become. Couldn't say it was utter insanity to take in a stranger. Bucky plastered a smile on his face, Sam looked as if he couldn't believe he was having to watch this twice and Maria just looked nervous, she was sure Zemo wouldn't believe her lies. Even if he didn't he was going along with the plan. “Should I go to the police? Or?”

“No. Sam’s a superhero, you're good here.” Bucky beamed.

“Superhero?” You feigned as if you did not know what that was.

“Yes. Almost as if you were planted at this precise location.” Zemo hummed jarringly.

“Have you ever been to New York?” Maria smiled happily despite the glares from Bucky and Zemo, she just gave you information that would have been concealed.

“Are you all superheroes?” You inquired attempting to change the subject. A deceptive smile formed on Zemo’s face, almost as if he were considering peddling that story, Bucky was going back and forth on the same thing, Maria stared at them both open mouthed. She was stuck, she couldn’t disclose the truth, not out loud anyway. The precious girl lying on your chest distracted you, shifting her weight to sit up, rubbing her eyes. Don’t be black. You didn't consider that before, you had never seen her eyes, yawning finally revealing her golden brown eyes, your heart leapt. Giving her as much of a gentle smile as you could, you hoped she wouldn’t be afraid. What if she hated you? She placed her hands on either side of your face as studied your hollow eyes curiously.

“Wow.” She breathed. Your smile widened, she wasn't scared, which come to think of it was alarming. You were a stranger with blackened eyes and she accepted you without a word. Trusting. She would trust her own father, you could cope with that, ignore the fact she didn’t ask a single question regarding your presence. She moved her hand to where you assumed bruising was forming and rubbed in gently, your heart melted.

“Rebecca, this woman will be residing with us from now on. You may call her Sunshine.”

She nodded looking back at Zemo, catching Sam in her sight she jumped off you and clung onto Sam’s legs, the same with Maria. “UNCLE BUCKY!” She squealed, jumping up. Bucky's face split into utter joy lifting her up onto his shoulders, where her hands held on with tufts of his hair. Bucky is her favourite? She cleared her throat, Bucky rooted into his pockets and held up an array of coins to her.

“Becca tax.” He sighed. Sam and Maria dipped into their pockets and held up loose change to her, she took one coin each, glee ridden at her prizes. This looked like some sort of routine. Bucky let her down, she giggled holding out her hand to you. She was so full of life, it was remarkable, taking her hand she pulled and everyone stepped back indicating for you to follow. Cloak draping around you, you trailed behind her excited little footsteps. Her bedroom was a burst of colour. A rainbow of tapestry surrounded her far too large bed, flowing from the ceiling to the floor. A few well selected toys, half a dozen snow globes from around the world, teddys that surrounded her bed, a bookshelf full of fairy tales. She flipped her covers back and shock fluttered across her face and before you could ask what was wrong Zemo entered with the white wolf teddy, knowing exactly what she was looking for. She hugged it close to her chest and then placed it on her pillow in prime position.

“Rebecca is quite taken with you.” Zemo noted.

You couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. Turning back just to watch her, to take in every moment as you had missed so much. “ She is amazing.”

“She didn’t get that from me.” Zemo affirmed.

That made you turn to look at Zemo, he didn't meet your eyes, he was watching Rebecca too, almost wistfully. He couldn't seriously believe that she was who she was because of you. You weren’t here and you were not even close to as perfect as she was. “Maria has returned home to fetch you some fresh clothing.” Ah yes, the dirt, smothered across your face, you couldn't even feel it, you didn’t care. You made yourself comfortable on the floor as Rebecca introduced you to each of her teddys, all named after the animals that they were, Rhino, Lion, Cat, White Wolf. She was so well spoken, but you didn’t expect any less. She showed you all of her snow globes that Zemo brought back for her, no doubt from his missions, you had been to these countries, there was a high chance you were there at the same time, swished the fabric around her bed, rambled about the princesses in her books, you could sit here forever and never leave. That's why you didn’t notice when Maria dumped clothes in your lap, didn’t notice that much time had passed, didn’t notice Zemo still leaning on the door frame staring at you both in a state of bliss.

You didn’t want to leave Rebecca but you would have to shower eventually, a very quick shower and then back to her. Maria by your side you walked with ease back to the master bedroom, when you should have least made the effort to dawdle or look lost. Grabbing a bed sheet you hung it over the shower, so any camera’s wouldn’t see you. You had to remember who the owner of this house was, and hope there wasn’t any device in the shower head. Maria stayed in your room, no doubt with the intention of stopping anyone who even attempted to get close to you in this vulnerable state. Dressing inside the cubicle with damp skin, you wondered where you could store your cloak, chances were it was going to be taken from you, but you could try. Maria gave you a look, reminding you to keep your head in the game, collecting all of your soiled clothing, she was going to wash it personally, everything, there was a good chance Zemo might test any fragments of soil. You smiled gratefully at her and you both stepped out of the room, in anticipation of whatever came next.

Entering the kitchen, the first thing that struck you was that it had been remodelled. I seemed bigger, much bigger, A huge island with four chairs Four? Rebecca, Zemo, Oeznik and who? White tiles with black worktops, just like your kitchen in Louisiana. Rebecca’s hair, now not sticking out in every direction, but in a plait. Her high cheekbones accentuating, her bright smile lit up the room atop Bucky’s shoulders as he flipped pancakes so high they reached her eye line. Nothing on this earth or any other could match her glow, it permeated the air. All the times you had been asked what your favourite thing was, she was right there. She seemed so soft and delicate. Sam prodded Bucky trying to throw him off, trying to find ways to make her happy, she had no idea of the truth that surrounded her. You had to settle on the fact that she was too young to understand.

“James, stop teaching my daughter poor table manners.”

Bucky had just discreetly passed her a small slither of pancake, which she was trying to scoff down before Zemo noticed. Bucky put his lip out matching Rebecca's and slid her down to the floor. Rebecca raced out of the room, before you could follow, a picture on the fridge stopped you in your tracks. A picture of you, on display, where Rebecca had certainly seen it, more than likely daily. You were stepping down from a helicopter, Zemo’s hand entwined with yours helping you down, looking up at you, like you were the only thing in his world, utterly smitten. This was the day you escaped the raft, when you were just a naive woman who chose him, before your powers, before everything. The wind had picked your hair up, your face was obscured, Oeznik took this and you suspected it was by his insistence that it was placed here. Maria got your attention and you were sure her head did a full rotation urging you out of the room, where no doubt Sam and Bucky witnessed you tracing your fingers across the image. Zemo pulled a chair out for Rebecca and she sat at the head of the table in the dining room. Zemo sat just to the side of her, still in his state of euphoria. You sat opposite Zemo so you could be as close to Rebecca as possible, Maria made sure she nabbed the seat to your other side. Bucky brought in a huge stack of pancakes, Sam behind with butter and maple syrup. Everyone dug in, not you, you wouldn’t ever feel anything but fascination for your daughter.

“When was the last time you ate?” Zemo snapped you out of the trance.

“I don’t remember.” You spoke clearly, his questions would not catch you out. Not here, not today, not tomorrow either. You didn’t give a fuck about food. This was the best day of your life, you wouldn't ever need sustenance again.

“I suppose that is for the best if you haven't flown before.”

Flown? We’re leaving?

–

Wiping away Rebecca’s crocodile tears from her eyes, kissing your palm and holding it to her barely grazed knee from tripping over, your entire being felt scorned that she was hurt, that she should feel any kind of pain. “Magic kisses take all of the pain away.” Your heart shattered for her, but you would do whatever you had to, to never see pain in her innocent eyes.

“If only that were true.” Zemo commented. Your heart sank, you lied to her, bold face without a shred of remorse. If I choose my words carefully. Then you would never have to lie again, you just had to be mindful with your words, another life lesson from Victor. You didn’t feel any apprehension walking onto the quinjet, if anything you were confused, you were leaving, what’s more Rebecca was. But as Maria lifted her onto her lap and Rebecca pointed at the correct series of switches and levers for take off, you knew she had left the house, enough times to know the sequence needed on a quinjet to fly. She was not as imprisoned as you once thought. Maria encouraged her to press buttons all while she was in control. Before long Sam approached you and asked you to sit with him. On his phone he brought up images of himself and gave you a very quick rundown of how he became Captain America. Then he moved onto Bucky, but he lingered a bit too long on the images of Bucky all in black and red star on his arm.

“Buck’s married to my sister.” Sam smiled, yet his finger traced the word extremely dangerous. There was no way Sam didn’t trust Bucky. “Bucky is part of the Thunderbolts now and Zemo is their leader.” Again his finger ran across the word extremely dangerous. The look in his eye, he needed you to acknowledge that you got his message, but honestly you could barely keep your eyes off Rebecca. Completely blocked out Zemo and Bucky huddling in the corner, no doubt coming up with new and inventive ways to keep you in chains. You couldn't really tell them it wasn't necessary, you were staying in the house willingly. You only reacted when someone nudged your shoulder, living for years having someone who sought out permission before they could touch you, formed habits, habits you would need to break.

“My name is Helmut Zemo. As you will be residing with Rebecca and I, I thought it may be best to tell you a little about myself.”

You're evil, got it. You patted the floor next to you and looked at him expectantly. Ready to hear a plethora of stories that painted him in a good light and how he was doing all the right things now, fighting the good fight. The first thing you learned was that the Thunderbolts were strictly off the books, which is why you and Victor could never find any information about Zemo, it was almost as if he disappeared. Zemo then told you who he was, except, he told you exactly who he was. EKO scorpion, the quite frankly terrifying crimes he was committing in the name of the government currently, the UN bombing, the mind control of Bucky, the people he killed just because he decided they didn’t deserve life. That he had no desire to aid a corrupt government, but he was attempting to atone for his sins. You hated that you noticed when the sun caught his hair, it was golden just like Rebeccas. Hated that you could feel yourself getting lost in his eyes. You hated that he pulled your attention from Rebecca, did you yearn for his voice? Did you miss it? Did you want to kick yourself in the face? Yes. “..Someone once gave me the title of being the most manipulative person on the planet.” You are.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to list the crimes you haven’t committed?” Maria jabbed.

“Should I stay somewhere else?” You asked.

“Perhaps.” Zemo pondered. “I'm afraid there isn’t much choice.” And just like that, it was laid on the table. That you did not have a choice. Like I ever had one. You didn’t give any thought to your destination, you wouldn’t be surprised if Zemo orchestrated you going up into the air just to see what you would do, as soon as the hatch opened, you could tell where you were.

Wakanda.

Well shit.

“There is no need for distress, No harm will ever come to you here. Wakanda is an ally.” Zemo assured. Zemo, you prepared for, well at least you tried to, but Wakanda, that was a different ball game. A stone, no a boulder, formed in the pit of your stomach. Wakanda, without warning, you made a mental note to thank Maria for that later. To be hand delivered to the country to attempted to destroy just a week ago. To physically see the destruction you had left behind. To be in the place where Victor's life ended. You wanted to pay your last respects, you doubted Maria would tell you where he really was now. You had to save face, you couldn't let anyone think for a moment that you knew who you were. Shuri was walking to greet you with the Dora Milaje on her back, all with faces of stone, you knew they wouldn’t attack without her command, Okeye and Ayo gave you a look that almost sent ice through your veins.

“Wakanda’s youngest warrior!” They smiled for Rebecca, she knew them, knew their names, took their hands in her own. You bowed to Shuri when Zemo did, with something that you hoped looked like confusion on your face, It was the least you could do, you did try to tear her body apart.

“You don’t have to do that.” Reminded Shuri.

“I will always bow to you Shuri.” Zemo answered coolly. Nakia and Ayo whisked Rebecca away but you didn't want to let her out of your sight, you were shocked Zemo let her go so easily. Stretching up to see where she went the Dora Milaje moved closer to Shuri, no doubt to protect her from you, she waved them back.

“Nakia is taking Rebecca for a ride on the rhinoceros.” Zemo droned as if he were bored.

YOU LET OUR DAUGHTER ON RHINOS! “Is that safe?”

“You can have a turn later.” Shuri laughed, somehow you doubted the Rhinos were going to allow you anywhere near them. “How is my newest patient?”

You looked around, patient? You didn’t see anyone who was sick. Bucky said something in Xhosa. Sam’s eyes were flitting between Bucky and Shuri, Zemo stood next to you, but Maria, she was making a conceited effort to look in any other direction but yours. You were the patient. Which was going to cause somewhat of an issue, a whole host of them in fact. “ I’m not sick.” You rushed out.

“You are suffering from severe amnesia.”

Anxiety tickled at your throat. You wanted that amnesia, needed it. Shuri patiently waited but you weren’t budging, you couldn’t let her take a real look at you. Racking your brain to think of any reason why you were happy without a single memory, hoping Maria would come up with something as you kept up with her steps into Shuri's domain. She rounded on you once you had reached her lab, you had not counted on that, you hadn’t counted on being here at all, on being around so many people.

“Sergeant Barnes tells me you have a prosthesis. I built his arm. I would like to gift you a vibranium one.”

“No thankyou.” You quipped. Your leg was fully functional, you did not want anything on you worth millions, you did not want to be part vibranium, you would be a target for a whole host of other reasons. Nor did you comment on the fact that anyone knew you had a metal leg, you kept it covered.

Unfazed, Shuri continued. “May I take a look?”

You moved your foot forward, your covered foot, not only were your shoes in her way, so were your socks, as were your leggings and glanced back at Maria who had ever so slightly strained look on her face, which you knew Zemo would notice, but that was easy to cover, everyone was nervous. Not as much as you were, turning your attention back to Shuri you jumped into the air as if the floor was scalding hot and everyone reacted. Zemo wrapped his arms around you, one of your waist, the other tangled in your hair. Sam body slammed Maria to the floor, Bucky jumped in front of you, reaching out for your hands while simultaneously shielding Shuri.

Scissors.

That’s all it took, scissors in Shuri’s hand and you caught off guard. “Sorry.” You mumbled, uncurling your hands from Zemo’s turtleneck. Shit. That was close, far too close to Zemo for your liking. Zemo’s face was full of concern as you pushed him away. Wanting to move on as fast as you could, you fumbled pulling off your shoe and sock, you put your foot back in front of Shuri and held your hands together in front of you and in full view of everyone. A shiver ran through your body hitting the tile, you were used to soft slippers in a lab.

“Do you know how you got this?” Shuri directed a question at you in between her notes to her AI Griot. You shook your head, technically, you didn’t. You were under when it happened. You watched the micro expressions on her face as she analysed Victor’s work, scientific rivals without her ever knowing.

“May I scan your brain?” Shuri enquired.

“No, thank you.” You answered politely.

“A medical exam?”

“No.” Your tone dropped, all sense of propriety was out of the window. You didn't want her to see, didn’t want anyone to see, what you allowed to happen to your body.

“The medical examination is to ensure you are well, nothing more.” Zemo said gently.

“No.”

“I shall retrieve Rebecca and we will give you a tour of Wakanda. You may need to stay here whilst I am on missions, my pardon will need to be renegotiated.” Zemo moved across the lab nodding to whatever Bucky was saying to him, he stopped when he reached the exit and as only he could, commanded the room, even above Shuri status. Somehow you could tell his words were not directed at her. “You understand the meaning of the word no I presume.” He opened his mouth to speak again, but when his eyes drifted to you, he caught himself before he started to reel off threats. He was standing up for you, getting Rebecca back even when you hadn’t asked him to.

“What do you think of Wakanda?” Sam plopped himself down next to you. Before you could even answer, he continued. “Bucky loves it here, Sarah and the boys too.” There was something off, something amiss, as his eyes darted above your head, you twisted, ready to prevent whatever was coming. Only to be met with a needle in the palm of your hand and the terrified eyes of Maria.

“You’re having that medical exam.”

Staring daggers at her even as the white clouded your vision, you were at least thankful when you heard Shuri scream that she wouldn’t have any part in it. And if Maria couldn't use her lab, then there would be no exam. You wanted to punch Maria square in the nose, while simultaneously telling her to get the fuck out of here before Zemo returned to discover what she had done.

You fucking idiot.

–

Coming too you felt so betrayed, not even being able to trust Maria, but in fairness no one could trust you either. A close eye would be kept on you for all eternity. The horror that another human had seen your decrepit body, that you had been violated again, although with good reason, you understood that Maria would just want to make sure there wasn’t anything that needed to be addressed, you would have lied about any pain anyway. Telling her that Victor healed you wasn’t good enough, she needed solid proof. All of that bothered you, what bothered you more was the object in your waistband, one look from Maria and you knew not to draw attention to it. She placed her hand on your back as a source of comfort, but it just felt too overwhelming after that.

“Can you move your hand please?” You stated as it wasn’t a request. Maria looked full of regret, hurt because it was her and after your week holed up at her place, maybe she thought you had become accustomed to her. You were, but you just needed space, which Maria picked up on because she left the lab.

“According to Griot, you should be in chronic pain.” Shuri began. You could say that, you would be forever, checking in with your gut wanting so desperately to feel that soft white flutter again. There was no more white, just a pale grey, constant pain, nothing would ever go back to the way it was before. You swung your legs trying to rid yourself of the anxiety, not knowing how to answer that, feeling humiliated that Shuri had seen what had happened to your body. Shuri showed you a minuscule metal disc and waited for you to nod before she placed it just behind the knee of your mechanical leg. Once it made contact, your dull silver leg was transformed into flesh, with matching nail varnish that Maria had obviously painted your fingernails in. A flawless leg, no scars, a facade, just like the one you had to keep painted on your face forever. Next she offered you coloured contacts, wanting to please her you popped them in, so she could see that nothing could mask the darkness within. A pleased smile formed on her face and your face appeared on her screen, the hollow abyss of your eyes gone, the colour had flooded back in, a disguise, an illusion to hide the monstrosity within. They were as ashamed as you were, trying to hide what you really were.

“I can offer you physical therapy, psychotherapy, You are going to refuse it all aren't you?” She asked with a tone that was rhetorical. “Is there anything I can do for you?” Shuri had shielded Rebecca from Hydra, tested her to make sure she wasn’t enhanced, saved her when she was born premature, all knowing Zemo killed her father. What more could you ask of her? “Zemo is in a holding cell, he is…” Ready to kill everyone in a five mile radius? Yeah i’m used to it. “Griot performed the examination.” Frowning at her, that would mean no one saw, she stopped Maria. Shuri treated Bucky with the utmost sensitivity when he was here, no surgery or deprogramming happened without his consent, Shuri was extending that same courtesy to you, despite everything you did to her. On your way to Zemo, you stopped to go to the bathroom, you didn't have to wait long until Maria found you.

“You need to get out of here,” You urged, Maria wanted to protest. “Maria, you forced that exam on me and Zemo-” You sighed. “This is hard enough without wondering exactly when he will put a bullet between your eyes. You need to go, I’ll see you soon.”

“Text me.” She pleaded. That was the object in your waistband, a phone to contact her, so you wouldn’t be alone, she couldn’t risk it before, but here, Zemo wasn’t in control, Shuri was. Even though he was far more regal, Shuri never cared for any throne, hence why she handed it to M’Baku. Splashing cold water on your face, you joined Shuri, murmuring pleasantries when Maria feigned an emergency and departed. Zemo was being held in a cell with far more comfort than any other prison afforded, Ayo keeping guard at the door, with a loud tut when Shuri opened the door with her Kimoyo beads.

“Are you alright?” Zemo pressed, you nodded avoiding his gaze, you didn't want to see the fire in his eyes. You didn't want to be on the receiving end of his fury ever again.

“Perfect health.” Shuri interrupted handing him a tablet, which gave a very vague picture of your health as it was today, carefully excluding any details on past injuries.

“There has been a mistake.” Zemo huffed. Shuri shook her head, pulling Ayo away. You knew what he saw. The encryption that both you and Maria set up, just in case you were ever put under rigorous testing again, and one of the many reasons she made sure she was around if it ever happened. To hack into Wakanda, one had to physically be in Wakanda, and the blood work and DNA tests had to be tampered with and in this specific case, altered to say that you were not enhanced. You would let everyone believe that Victor took your pain and power, despite only a ring of colour remaining in your eyes, but you reasoned if Bucky’s super soldier serum was ever reversed, he would still have a abnormally strong metal arm, a remnant of what he used to be, just like your eyes. You and Maria both ensured that if your existence was ever discovered by Hydra or otherwise, the only thing they would find was a regular human, of no use to anyone. Zemo’s eyebrows pulled together, it would take time to process this information, you were no longer enhanced, no longer a threat to anyone, and as far as anyone else knew, no longer a weapon and you wouldn’t use your powers no matter the cost. A ruse, so you live without your powers, knowing that if anyone ever came for Rebecca, you could protect her.

“Have I done something to offend you? You can’t even bring yourself to look at me.”

“No.” Yes.

“Is there anything you wish to tell me?” Zemo purred, as you looked up at him he made a show of looking around, to let you know that no one would hear you, this was just you and him. His gaze was appraising, calculating, you could see he didn’t believe a single word of that report and in turn he didn't believe you, he knew, or at the very least suspected. You shook your head slowly. “You are quite sure?” He continued. You wondered if that was what he wanted, for you to tell him the truth, just him. To say you knew exactly who you were, that you remembered every last moment, that Rebecca was your daughter and despite knowing he would keep your secret, knowing that he wouldn't tell another soul, something told you not to. “Could you divulge the reason you are so frightened of me?” Shit. You thought you were doing a good job of hiding that, you knew that if Zemo interrogated you long enough, you would slip up, you had fallen for this in other worlds.

“I don’t know what you want.” You blurted out.

“I have no expectations of you.”

–

No expectations? Not one? Lies, more lies, you weren’t buying it, you spent the rest of the day in a daze, touring Wakanda with Rebecca showing you around, she clearly had been here many times before, she animatedly told you that she had a real Princess as an aunt. She called everyone aunt and uncle, you were told that Rebecca was cherished and always has been, everyone was so good with her, you barely noticed when Zemo was handed a box which you knew contained your necklace and wedding ring. Ignored the buzzing in your body when Okeye asked Shuri how you escaped from Wakanda undetected. You didn’t clock the bags of clothes handed to Zemo meant for you as you came here with nothing more than the clothes on your back. You chewed the inside of your cheek as Zemo treated you with a softness that you knew all too well, but he couldn't quite manage it, there was something underlying. The fucking massive lie I told. Ah yes that was it, you kept glancing at him and he just met your eyes with fondness. You only really snapped back into focus when Rebecca dropped her new and bigger Rhino teddy on the flight back in a Wakandan Talon fighter, it took everything you had to fight your instincts and not catch it. You had to show externally that you were just a boring human, like the other eight billion people on the planet. Bucky, bumped into you catching it himself.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, reaching out to you so you would actually look at him. “I’m so sorry.” He looked so serious, as if he were trying to apologise for it all and the first words he spoke to you directly.

“It’s fine.” it was not even close to fine, you wanted off this jet, you wanted space to move around, to not be stuck in an enclosed space with Zemo, Bucky and Ayo, who was as silent as the grave. She remained that way, through dinner which was a stew of some kind. You hadn’t eaten all day, not that it was a new feeling to you. Just an old one from your childhood you would rather forget. Rebecca smiled throughout clutching her new Rhino but promising Bucky that the white wolf was still the best in a whisper that everyone could hear. Bucky left with Ayo after rather loudly and forcibly telling Zemo in Russain not to fuck this up. This was it, high alert. This was your life now, this house, Prison. Here forever, with Rebecca and with him. Rebecca climbed up onto the kitchen counter as Zemo loaded the dishwasher, you tried to help but were told no and in that one word it was clear Zemo wasn't ever going to allow to lift a finger, the house was in slight disarray a clear sign that Oeznik wasn’t here. So you lingered back awkwardly, you watched Rebecca ruffle Zemo’s hair as he bent over, heart singing as how precious she was, he didn’t correct it, he carried on rinsing plates, You were entranced by their interaction until Rebecca pulled him close and ran her fingers through his hair trying to correct her mess, she closed her eyes and rubbed her nose against his. Zemo was her favourite, it was a very subtle difference but you saw it, their bond was unspoken, she adored him, she utterly adored him.

You listened with utter loathing for yourself as Zemo read Rebecca a bedtime story, how she clearly loved his voice as much as you did, the voice that could send you to your knees. Perhaps it was time to scan your brain, to understand why it was doing this to you, why it once again was actively working against you as you tried to survive, as you had to play house in the ruins of your relationship, among the ghosts of what you once had. To live and pretend as if Zemo were healing you, like he wasn’t the one that broke you in the first place. You didn't ever want to feel that kind of pain from him again, it also meant you wouldn't feel his love. Then you hated yourself for even thinking that. Reminding your useless brain that you had to stay on your toes, you hurried to your assigned bedroom before he finished. As much as you wanted to avoid the bed you used to share, it looked like this was your room now and as Rebecca was about to sleep you had to avoid spending any time with Zemo alone at all, attempt to make sure you were as far from him as you could be, find a suitable place to hide the phone Maria gave you, under the probable watch of the cameras. You jumped at a knock on the door.

“I’m going to sleep.” You called out, lying again. You doubted you would ever rest peacefully again, wondering if you could haul the dresser in front of the door, like that would stop him.

“It’s rather early. Are you alright?”

No, I am not fucking alright. “Long day.” You tried.

“Goodnight Sunshine.”

Fuck off Zemo. Yet, he didn’t, he lurked outside of you room. Was he going to burst in? Confront you? Or worse? Heart in your throat, you jerked at the buzzing of the device in your waistband. Wrestling under the covers, which at least sounded like you were going to sleep, you concealed the light from the phone as much as you could, replying to Maria.

Everything is perfect

That would be the same answer you would give Maria no matter what happened, no matter what she said, what she asked, today it was are you ok? And everything was going as well as it could be. You resumed staring at the door as Zemo stood guard outside of your bedroom, he would walk away eventually, right?

–

Sleep was against your natural instincts, tossing, turning, laying under the bed, draping the cloak over you, it evaded you. Zemo didn’t leave his station until three in the morning and even after your heart calmed down, sleep still wouldn’t come. Those hours without Rebecca to distract you, the earth would rotate, Rebecca would sleep and you were stuck. Would it be selfish to wake her up just so you could be with her? After breakfast in which you were firmly told no again when you asked to help, Rebecca showed you beetlejuice, which seemed a bit too mature for a three year old, but beetlejuice was the best according to her.

“Rebecca’s fascination for the macabre is endless. Macabre? Creepy things? Like big mishappen castles? An interest shouldn't have you analysing her and yet, she delighted in beetlejuice, someone who caused mischief, a trickster, she would love Loki, if she ever got to meet him. if she liked beetlejuice then it was pretty easy to ascertain the type of people she would like the most, apart from Bucky and Zemo. And that did send some alarm bells ringing, but she spent most her time with them. You told your mind to shut the fuck up before you dug further into that hole, you hadn’t spent enough time with her, she likes rhinos and wolfs too and that was fine. She relented into having her hair brushed after lunch, which Zemo created a dutch braid, against her squirming, bouncing up and down, she then declared she wanted you to match. You picked up the brush and handed it to Zemo, for a split second something akin to nervousness fluttered across his face. As if he were actually opposed to touching you, not a likely story.

“Whatever Rebecca wants.” You met Zemo’s eyes in the mirror of Rebecca’s dresser, trying to convey that this is how it was going to go. Whatever Rebecca wants she gets and she was going to get it because he didn't allow you anything you ever wanted, if that meant Zemo had to brush your hair with a tenderness you didn’t think was possible, then you could face it. Rebecca’s feet wobbled on your thighs as she inspected Zemo’s work, all you got was a face full of her shirt and Zemo’s gentle hands through your hair, Rebecca then fetched you a ribbon to match hers. Red?

“Red is my favourite.” As if she too could read your mind, she answered your question. And you really had to tell the alarm bells to cut it out on that one. The afternoon was spent watching Rebecca chase a butterfly, she was endlessly fascinated by something so simple, Zemo’s probing gaze moved from Rebecca to you and it all felt like a bit too much. She was just so happy to breathe air. Air that Victor gave her. Every playful giggle, every step, every molecule that filled her lungs, was possible because Victor saved her life. Every sparkle in Zemo’s eyes for her, was possible because Victor gave him Rebecca. In the bath where she poured in far too much bubble bath, where she scooped the bubbles and placed them on Zemo’s head, where she laughed far more than she washed, where she dunked her head under the water and squealed as she emerged. Every millisecond was pure bliss to her, she glowed brighter than the sun. The joy on her face was all because Victor saved her. And as Zemo looked at you inquisitively for the millionth time you wanted to cry, you wanted to rejoice, you wanted to strip yourself of the guilt, you wanted to know every detail about her, you wanted to thank Victor, you wanted all of it and fucking hell you wanted to sleep, you were exhausted and yet to find a safe way to rest, and as you were technically human, it was rapidly becoming a problem. Zemo’s voice almost sent you to sleep as you lurked outside Rebecca’s bedroom, this time singing her a nursery rhyme in a sinister voice, but then that’s how she liked it. Going through the same ridiculous steps in an attempt to sleep you emerged as Zemo left his post outside your room.

Rebecca loved her bath, you once liked baths, you slept in baths, you might just get some peace, even if it was a few minutes. Plunging into the scalding milky water, you went over the day, you wondered how all of this was possible, how Rebecca was so happy in the face of the literal murderers that surrounded her, how oblivious she was to it all, just as you once were, how the hell were you supposed to tell a three year old to not be so naive, how you were able to do something as simple as having a bath, how it had been years since you had and they weren't unhappy years. How everyday was going to be spent with you hiding in your room dreaming of sleep you would never get. How Zemo used to send you straight to sleep in here, how warm it was, how easy it would be to just close your eyes. But then you wouldn’t see the bubbles escaping to the surface, where the air was.

Air tore into your lungs as you were ripped from the water. Spluttering against the sudden change, spitting water out of your mouth, chest heaving in an involuntary reflex. Dread filled your bones, feeling that tight grip on your hair, hearing the panting just inches away from your face. This would definitely count as you hurting yourself, but you were just so tired. You knew you would feel his wrath, you knew this would happen you just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, trying to cower to sink down so he couldn’t see even a slither of your mangled body you were only met with more force yanking you above the water line.

“Get out.” Zemo growled.

“I feel asleep.” You winced, turning to meet Zemo’s dark eyes and instead were met with his hand covering them, moving that hand to slam into the side of the bathtub you jumped. It felt as if he hit you, hit you with the truth, that you were a liar and he knew it. On the brink of tears you pulled yourself up and Zemo released his grip on your hair, scrambling across to wrap Zemo’s towel around you, which thankfully was much bigger than Maria’s, you ran as fast as you could for your room. In your haste to get away from Zemo in a naked state you didn't grab your clothes, thrusting your trembling hand into one of the bags from Wakanda, to find something anything, any kind of barrier to put on your body, you floundered when Zemo entered your bedroom, you rushed to the ensuite but were stopped dead in your tracks.

“If you go in there, you won’t have a door by morning.” Zemo warned. Pressing your lips together and blinking rapidly, you clutched onto the bag with one hand awkwardly out of the towel, you could not let him near you, eyes wide as saucers conveying the fear coursing through you.

“I’m sorry.” You spoke in a voice much quieter than you wanted.

“Follow me.”

Fuck, fuck , fuck. Yet your body moved, you wondered how he could make you do this, how he was still able to make you do as you were told, keeping as much of a vice grip on the towel as you could, you kept a wide distance between you as you followed him down the stairs, eyes flicking in every direction, looking for something, anything, but then you knew better than to attempt to fight him, maybe if you just obeyed him, he would just understand that you really were just exhausted. When he reached for a door you had never seen opened in the past, words, stupid words fell from your mouth. “I don’t want to go down there.”

Zemo slowly pulled his hand away from the door handle, putting his hand in his pockets with an air of confidence only he could muster, he turned his full attention to you with a malicious smile on his face, lowering his tone to almost a whisper. “What is it about this property that makes you believe it has a basement?”

Shit, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck! You gaped like a fish as his harsh gaze honed in on you, touching every inner corner of your soul.

“Are you frightened of basements?” Zemo taunted. Shaking your head dumbly. “No? Then you will not have any trouble opening this door, unless of course you have a compelling reason not to.”

You had a compelling reason alright, you bore the scars from it, but to show that, to not open this fucking door. You could run, which your entire body was screaming to do, he would know. Yet if you opened it, then you might just die on the spot and being in this position with Zemo, you would rather die. Stomach cramping as you attempted a convincing walk closer to him, closer and closer to certain torture and death, you back tensed, trying to pull you back, your hand clamped to towel closer to your deformed body. Reaching out, you gave him one last look and apart from that sickeningly knowing smile, you couldn't tell what he was thinking. Ripping off the band aid, you yanked the door open with bated breath. Blankets. A storage cupboard, full of blankets. How you wished the tension left your body, you felt a cold chill all over, outwardly shivering for some time now, you tried to feel some warmth as Zemo carefully draped a blanket over your shoulders, but the cold wouldn’t leave, so much so you realised it was coming from a small slit between the shelving.

“Is there something behind that?” You fretted.

“Yes.” Zemo answered with one word. Holy fuck. Your instincts were right, this door led to something. Even you felt it as your face changed, instinctively you stepped back, a whimper got stuck in your throat. “The inspiration for this property came from the Cecil Hotel.”

Am I supposed to know what that is? Laughing nervously you padded along to a room you were a lot less anxious to be in the kitchen, sitting as far from Zemo as you could. Zemo placed his phone in front of you with an article about the Cecil Hotel. A murder house, this house, your supposed home was a murder house. Traps, secret doors, hallways, the whole shebang.

“Quite fitting that it came into my possession, don’t you think?” Zemo chuckled. What were you supposed to say to that, how did nobody know what this house was, well Bucky probably did, probably knew every way to your room, they both did. You would never sleep again, Zemo was a serial killer, you were living with a man laughing about killing people, your husband, The man with a proud smile on his face, brought a murder house to imprison you as if it were not remotely disconcerting. When he slid a honey coloured tea in front of you, you almost dry heaved. You couldn't drink that, fuck, everything was a threat, all of it, every fucking object had a purpose, you were fucked.

“If I was going to drug you, I wouldn’t be so covert.” Zemo stated and you couldn't help it you stared at him horrified. “Threatening you is futile, you understand what you are up against don’t you?”

Nodding blindly, you knew what you were up against, the fucking devil. He was being so brazen too, he wanted you to know, exactly where you were trapped, exactly who he was, that there wasn't any hope. Still that stupid voice of yours attempted to defend yourself. “ I haven't done anything wrong.”

“You just attempted to drown yourself in the bathtub.”

“I didn’t,” grimacing at the rise of Zemo’s eyebrows. “ I just, I-” You paused trying to reason with the unreasonable feeling as if you couldn't breathe, “Have you ever wanted your mind to just stop, just for a minute?” You tried, staring into the tea as more beats passed, each moment the tension in your body increased, gripping onto your towel just so the trembling wouldn't be so visible, you waited for Zemo to explode.

“Yes.”

–

Zemo answered, there was something in his voice, more that he wanted to say, that he understood your dilemma, understood that you were trying and not getting anywhere. The tension pulling your muscles taut relaxed slightly, you both sat in silence until Rebecca woke, both not sleeping, both unable to say anymore, not without revealing the truth of the situation. You would sleep eventually, you were sure you nodded off a few times. When Zemo brushed your hair to match Rebecca's, you jumped out of your skin with nearly every stroke, your body was on edge, seemingly unable to understand how your birthday had passed without more scars, your mind running a thousand miles a minutes and you just deliriously tired, not really able to focus or concentrate on anything. Every time you made yourself a coffee, it got poured away. It had only been a few days and it felt like forever because you had to stay alert constantly, gauge Zemo’s reaction to everything, remain expressionless even when you were screaming internally. You tried to wash the dishes just to do something, you had spent years being useful and now you were just in the way. Zemo even handed you a phone, pre-programmed with everyone's numbers and encouraged you to communicate with everyone, you sent off a few meaningless texts, you knew damn well he could see everything on this phone. While every action was monitored, scratching a permanent line into the palm of your hand, because it was the only way you could openly display your nervousness.

“Stop scratching!” Zemo snapped. You don't know what came over you, was it the fatigue? The pressure of it all?

“Yes, your highness.” You curtsied to him before your brain could even catch up to what you were doing, Rebecca giggled and it was only in that moment you realised what you had done. “I’m so sorry, I-”

“Dad isn’t a King.”

“No, no,” You rushed out. “But he is Royalty just like you.” Rebecca’s little eyebrows furrowed so you knelt in front of her to explain. “Your Royal, I don’t know the right title,” That daze in your mind wasn't helping, “Sokovia is gone, I don’t know how it works, maybe dad is the King now.” What the fuck am I even saying? Glancing back to Zemo hoping he could explain this better you immediately realised you had made a horrible mistake, gulping in horror at what you had just said.

“I’m a princess?” Rebecca said excitedly. Your stomach dropped through the floor at her next statement, which she declared with the ring of a herald. “We live in a castle? Castle Zemo?”

“Or Rebecca’s palace.” You struggled.

“It’s a castle.” Rebecca squealed, jumping up and down. “I’m a princess.”

You didn’t stand, Zemo didn’t tell her, probably part of that modest life he had built for her, no Royalty, no staff, no titles, no nothing and you just fucked it up completely. How could you fuck up this badly? “The line of succession is complicated, Rebecca.” Zemo hummed in amusement, it was as if he were talking to you and not your precious daughter. “Our home can be whatever you would like it to be, even a castle.”

–

Zemo cooked dinner and explained that he intended to give up his title as Sokovia was gone, he left out how that happened. Rebecca refused purely on the grounds that she wouldn't be a princess, Zemo assured her that she would always be a princess here at home. He tried to explain how restrictive Royalty really was, as if this house wasn’t. But she had no idea, her life was perfect, every moment was a joy. Zemo was her hero and nothing would ever deter that. You sat sadly, full of so many regrets as he served pasta a meal you noticed that would only require a fork and as he opened the drawer to set the table you suspected every meal would be similar considering every knife had vanished into thin air. He poured himself a whisky which seemed odd with pasta.

“I drink whisky exclusively with every meal.” He said with an air of nostalgia. “Would you like a glass?”

“I don’t like whisky.” You lied, rejecting it and him. Zemo nodded and a glass of wine appeared next to your plate, you watched Rebecca tuck in quickly, taking big slurps of her water, dancing in her chair at her new found Royal status.

“Could you pass me the salt please?” Zemo asked, which seemed odd, he never used to add salt to his meals, the shaker was also right between you. You wondered if he was making an offer to not reach out to you, so you would stop flinching, you slid it over to him without picking it up and smashing the container into his face which you thought was a miracle and yet a look passed his face, something he just understood. You passed it to him in the same way you passed him the glass all those years ago. He could make you obey so easily, that was his superpower, that and being world's number one dickhead, you really did not have the mental capacity to argue over passing salt he could think whatever he wanted to. Zemo took a few bites then seemed to wait for you, you watched him make this, sure he could have slipped something into it, but he was eating it, Rebecca was, you took a forkful, lids heavy almost swaying at how tired you were, but you couldn’t let your guard down. Lifting the wine glass to your lips, noticing that Zemo was staring at you intently. Pausing you wanted to see if he reacted, if he attempted to look as if he wasn’t watching and right on cue, he smiled at Rebecca. Placing the glass back onto the coaster you tried to remember through the fog of your exhaustion if you watched him pour the wine. I didn’t. Would he really drug you in front of Rebecca, let your head flop down into your plate and play it off, in front of her. Were there really any limits? Did he have no shame? Where did he get the nerve? You put one hand in the other and rested your chin on them waiting for them both to finish, you weren’t touching another morsel.

After dinner in the study you berated yourself for passing him the salt, because now he was going to read into it. Would delve into every action as if you didn’t have to monitor every second as it was, only now you were with something doing the same, naturally talented at reading body language and being able to read your mind. And you had to remain outwardly calm, had to smile even though the screaming in your mind was getting louder, probably begging for sleep which you really did need to succumb to. Only now you were going to need to closely watch every meal, every drink, every last thing Zemo tried to give to you, as if he couldn’t just jab you with a needle and bypass all that, he didn’t seem to be above explaining you dropping the ground to Rebecca. As if you weren’t self depreciating enough, a lifetime of abuse does that to you. You slipped about the Royalty thing, thankfully Sam showed you those articles on the quinjet mentioning it, maybe you could take a vow of silence at least then you couldn’t make another mistake, there had been too many already and sooner or later you were going to say something there was no possible way you could know about.

Listening to their giggles as Zemo tried to get Rebecca settled for bed you wondered if there really was anything he wasn't naturally adept at. He was an incredible parent, made Rebecca smile, filled all of her needs all while keeping her safe. You didn't want to come back here as her parent but you were less than useless, you may as well be another child, you had as many needs as she did, probably more and Zemo was right there trying to make sure you were happy. Happy wasn’t an option you left that behind, did you leave it in Castle Doom? In the rubble of Wakanda?

It was easy to forget that Zemo missed all of this with Carl and he got to see every moment here, while you were the one who was ‘away’. Watching the flames flicker, you desperately wished you were back in the castle or that Victor was here, he would help you navigate this, in a world with Zemo, having watched him kill you in so many other worlds. How now you could only recognise manipulation because Victor taught you to, it’s how you saw Victor's, although you weren't sure if that is ever what he did. How he cared for you, but then was it his love for power? His love for Valeria? Was Victor your soulmate?

You killed your soulmate.

Victor was gone.

You were so focused on getting back here that it hadn’t really settled in. You were here right now with your daughter because you murdered the man who saved you, who saved your daughter. He couldn't come back, you snuffed his life out and it was so selfish only to want him back so he could help you work out how to live this way. Your heart ached every time he creeped into your mind, every time you turned to look at him only to find someone else's face looking back at you. You could be in Castle Doom right now watching Victor tinker with his machines, but you decided that this was the better option. Another choice, made carelessly without thinking of the consequences. What did you even learn from Victor? That you would always be desired but not loved? That you were a weapon? That you would live in fear no matter where you went? That pain was the very essence of what you were. You chose the endless pit of despair.

Could the world be a better place now if you let Victor take your power? You would never know. And you understood why Zemo hated it so much, no consequences for destroying a city. It was just so wrong, not that you could argue. You fell into that category too. Your life has always been counting down, the countdown of time on your birthday, countdown to your death while you were pregnant, countdown with Victor, countdown back to this house, now you wondered what you were counting down to. Probably the day Hydra inevitably found you.

Rebecca was perfect, utterly perfect, she was the light in Zemo’s life now and you were damaged, you hated yourself for feeling jealous, hated yourself for even wanting Zemo to see you as he used to. How you wished to be loved just for who you were, not what you could offer, and what could you offer now? Pain?

Lurching as if being woken, though you doubted you slept, you clung onto the weight in your lap and resting on your chest, Rebecca, snoring gently against you. You had been sitting here for hours, it was already the early hours of the morning. Head pulling to the tissue held out in front of you, tears had escaped, you couldn't conscientiously allow them to fall, apologising to Zemo again you made your way to Rebecca's room, she had missed her bedtime story, you robbed her of something she enjoyed, as if you weren't enough of a shit human. Failing to dodge Zemo as you scurried to your room, you sighed when he spoke.

“If you will allow me to, I can help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Sunshine, please-”

Just hearing that nickname set you off. “What could I possibly need from you?” You lashed out with such vitriol it stung even you, you adjusted your tone to something more soft. “You have taken me in, let me live in this beautiful home. Everything is perfect. Goodnight Zemo.” You wanted to slam the door, you did, but waking Rebecca was the last thing you needed. If everyday was like this, then you needed to manage your expectations, as if the constant feeling of animosity wasn't enough, now you had to survive on no sleep, no sustenance, with Zemo who was being more kind than he had ever been. You walked over to your new phone vibrating on your bed, no guesses for how that got there.

Zemo is increasingly concerned for you, is there anything I can do for you?

Shuri, Great. You were going to get guilt texts too. You had to try to make this better, had to reciprocate Zemo’s kindness at arms length then maybe you would be permitted to make your own meals. Let him believe you were opening up, that was Victor’s mistake, he let his guard down and ultimately that's how you were able to find a way to kill him. Reluctantly pulling your bedroom door open to find that Zemo hadn’t moved, you managed to repress a shriek at how close he was. You knew he would be there and yet, that immediate fear induced response, something needed to be done. Sighing you spoke. “Can you teach me to drive?”

“Would you like to begin now?”

Alone? With you? Holding up the phone to show the time. “I’m tired.” You croaked, so very tired, so much so that after closing the door, you even sat on the bed, perhaps just taking the weight off your feet would re-energize you, even if you couldn’t rest.

–

Being forcefully shaken you lashed out, kicking and hitting at whatever it was that was bruising your upper arms. You had no idea what you were shouting, you couldn't comprehend anything through the darkness, couldn’t differentiate between the images in your mind and the repulsion of hands on you. Fighting against the blanket tangled in your legs, straining your eyes.

“Sunshine, you were screaming.” Zemo’s voice sounded hoarse, manoeuvring yourself to sit up, pushing his hands off in disgust, you knew why you were screaming. Without Victor’s magic the nightmares returned only now you were the villain, blind in your fury, crushing everything in your path, relentless in your pursuit to kill everyone that had ever wronged you. Through your panting Zemo perched himself on your bed, finally noticing he was only wearing his robe, a new fear overcame you. You were sleeping and Zemo was conveniently with you, while you were screaming.

“Don’t touch me!” You scrambled away from his outreached hand, rushed into the bathroom and locked the door. Blindly panicking, blinking through your glassy eyes you armed yourself with a bottle of shampoo, if only Victor could see you now, he trained you for years, only for you to run and hide in a room with one exit, you really were just that hopeless. You ran away from Zemo, you finally ran, only to trap yourself further. Trembling, you waited for Zemo to break the door down.

–

You woke on the cold tiles with a shampoo bottle still firmly in your grip. Skipping breakfast in favour of a shower, scrubbing off any violation that may have happened. You faked nervousness learning to drive, sitting this close to Zemo aided that, following his very basic instructions as Rebecca sat on his lap, you were surprised to get a text from Maria on the phone Zemo gave you, asking if you were free for a drink later. Testing the waters you said you would meet her later and suspiciously Zemo didn’t immediately lock you in a cage or in the basement. As a casserole simmered you asked to help with the housework just for something to do. He told you he was often singled out for grunt work in the military and you weren't expected to do anything, but that wasn’t the problem. You fiddled with the hem of your t-shirt constantly as a substitute for scratching your hand, you were on edge, feeling useless, wandering around this house, with a mind that got louder and louder by the second. A drink with Maria might do you some good, maybe you could sleep in her car before you returned, tell her about the murder house. You wandered to your bedroom to get ready. Not that there was anything to get ready with, or that you even wanted to. Victor took you as you came, you even went clubbing him in nothing more than leggings and a baggy t-shirt, you doubted Maria was taking you out clubbing. Alcohol loosens inhibitions and you couldn't do that ever again, the only person who you could trust to keep a lid on your powers was Victor. Shamefully lusting after coffee Zemo forbade you from, you headed to the kitchen taking a small sip of tap water just to keep you going, it was the safest option, you didn’t know if Zemo had tampered with any other liquids in the house.

“Where do you think you are going?” Zemo challenged.

“To see Maria?” You said as innocently as you could. That cunning smile of his seeped through as he pulled his phone from his pocket and the distinct sound of tyres over gravel travelled to your ears. You can control the cars remotely. You could diminish the fear from that information, because he had just shown his hand, the cars couldn't be trusted either. “I’ll walk.” You shrugged, ignoring that it would take hours to get to New York, you assumed Maria would be meeting you at the boundary of the house anyway.

“Ill restrain you.” Zemo said with just a touch of shame behind his voice. Which confused you, he was openly telling you what he would do. You knew he would threaten you, it was just hearing him be so blase about it, so honest, was unnerving. Turning to face him, his lips were set into a downward turn, he gestured for you to sit down. You slumped down like a petulant child, you mustered up courage, imagined Victor was with you, hearing his voice in your ear telling you to ask, ask one of the many questions that burned inside you, swirling your finger in the air.

You want to go there, ok I’ll go there. “Is this a prison?”

No hesitation Zemo answered. “Yes.”

“I’m assuming there is a compelling reason for that?” Throwing his words right back at him. That your fucking psychotic? Pulling the phone Zemo gave you out of your pocket, you called Maria and the moment she answered you put her on loudspeaker, in an ill attempt to back Zemo into a corner, ready to tell her that Zemo was keeping you in a prison he got the first word.

“Maria, I have reservations about this outing.” Zemo professed.

“I won’t let her out of my sight, it will be good for her to get out of the house Zemo, you can't keep her there forever.”

“Maria, if you recall you signed the paperwork that states legally that I am solely responsible for Sunshine.” Zemo briefly looked at you with not a shred of fault. “In short I own you.”

You didn’t learn a thing from Victor you sick fuck, I am not your property. Zemo’s head jerked as if he heard you, Maria quickly said she was on her way over to talk about this in person.

“You will not be granted entry.” Zemo said flatly and ended the call. “If you attempt to flee, I will do whatever is necessary to stop you.” Zemo mumbled, he actually mumbled you had never heard him do such a thing. As if he didn’t just directly threaten you.

“Why are you keeping me here?” You asked, knowing he couldn't give you the real reason, but he had to give you something, surely.

“As you know Sunshine, I am not a good man. I have imprisoned you here simply because I want to and I have been in the fortunate position of always getting what I want.”

Not this time. Fuming that he would always have an answer to anything. You heard enough, it was a reason, not a good one, but it was hard to argue with, not without provoking him further. There was no point in begging, no point in trying, you were stuck here and you already knew that. That and you had to text Maria from your other phone as you wouldn't be surprised if she was ordering a nuclear strike, just to get you out. You stood abruptly only to fall back when Zemo moved just as fast blocking the doorway, one hand gripping onto the frame.

“Don’t force my hand, please.” Zemo’s head hung low, keeping a respectable gap. “Please Sunshine.”

“I’m going to bed.” You said meekly, willing to take any small mercy you could get. The battle was lost and if you were honest leaving this place would be a risk, Hydra might find you. Zemo nodded still looking at the floor and removed his hand from the frame, you blew out air between your lips hoping to rid yourself of the goosebumps as you slinked past him. You walked slowly up to your room, this time Zemo didn’t follow you to take his nightly station. Hiding under the covers to text Maria, you told her you were fine. She didn’t message back, there was nothing more to say. You had both resigned yourselves to the fact that you would be stuck here a long time ago.

–

The shower was the closest thing to your coffin that you slept in for years, and you tried, shifting your weight on your metal leg. You drifted off at least once that you knew off, the door opened and now you had fresh bruises, which was just great. It took a lot of convincing Zemo that you were fine in clipped whispers through your bedroom door. And you started your period, seeing blood in your underwear set off a whole load of emotions, you just could not deal with. You had been banned from using the bathtub but that didn’t stop you rummaging around while Rebecca got dressed, nothing in your bathroom. You knew there were products in your old bedroom but Zemo slept there now and you weren't going in there come hell or high water. Nor were you opening any new doors, you had no idea where they led to. Were you really going to need to resort to tissue? Well you may as well camp in your room all day, it didn’t feel as if you were doing anything worthwhile otherwise. You jumped when someone had sneaked up on you. Zemo was close, too close, scuffling back, head darting as you were once again trapped in a small room with him, unable to move your gaze from his eyes, he moved the box of tampons in front of his face. Laughing nervously you thanked him and apologised at the same time. As always Zemo could tell what you needed even without seeing you, you hated how he still knew you, hated that everyone was right about you, that everyone knew you better than you knew yourself. Listening to Zemo read Rebecca a story before bed you wondered if you could just sleep in there with her. Zemo wouldn’t hurt you if you were with her. You would wake her up with your screaming, how could you explain that? Once again you rushed off to bed, only to hear a knock as soon as you closed the door.

“I’m tired.” You called out. You turned as the door opened, Zemo didn't seem angry, he seemed impatient, annoyed, probably with your constant lies.

“I have been called away on a mission, I will be leaving tomorrow. Scott and Hope will be coming to stay.” Squirming internally, they were in Wakanda. Did Zemo not trust you with Rebecca? Not that it mattered, neither did you. You held yourself back, afraid you would hurt her, terrified your black soul would corrupt her, scared you would reveal more information that she did not need to be made aware of. You nodded and as soon as Zemo inclined his head, you knew there was more, that something was wrong, that you had pissed him off somehow. When he stepped forward your body mirrored him immediately, retreating, knowing that no matter how much training you had, in the constant tug of war he would always win.

“The response to fear is involuntary, it is biologically programmed.” Zemo slid his hand down your arm to gently cradle your wrist, gasping you clamped your mouth shut. “You are terrified of me and this-” he stroked his thumb over the pulse point of your wrist, feeling the hammering of your heart. “You cannot hide.” Turning to look at the floor to hide away, you tried to breathe through your nose, to quell the rising panic, you saw the two small pills in his other hand. Shit. Shit. Shit. Zemo did say if he were going to drug you that you would know, shaking your head. You had no idea what those tablets did, you didn’t want them, you didn’t want to be forced. “I think you know what will happen if you do not take these willingly.” Yes, you knew, that fucker knew that you knew, they would be forced down your throat. You wanted to spit in his face, scream that Heike would never have put up with this, that no one would. That you hated him. That you couldn’t believe you ever loved him. That you wanted a divorce. He took everything from you and he still wanted more. If Zemo got any closer you were sure your chest would burst open, you held your shaking hand open. You had no idea how you swallowed them, they ripped down your dry throat. Zemo gripped your wrist tighter, your body knew now, to never ever fight him, the only option was flight, to get away. You moved back again, trying to create space in between you only for your back to be met with a brick wall, but this wasn’t a brick wall, this wall spoke.

“If you cower from him now, this would have all been for nothing.”

Victor?

Heart thundering at the possibility that Victor was back, feeling that wall move from behind you, metal clinking with each movement, to see Victor by your side. Exhaling with relief, because as long as Victor was with you, Zemo couldn't hurt you.

“The next time you touch her, you won’t have hands.” Victor promised. Confidence surging through you, you yanked your hand away and Zemo let it go. You stared into his eyes, a smirk wanting to form on your lips. Zemo’s eyes flashed but you didn’t care Victor was here, he wouldn’t let Zemo do a single thing to you. And that was proven when Zemo retreated.

“Come here Sweetheart.” Victor was sitting at the head of your bed with open arms, you climbed up, resting your head on his metal thigh, feeling drowsy. Sleeping tablets. Victor used the sheets to wipe away tears that weren't there, you could never let them fall. “Your death would have been a mercy. There would be no more pain. You would have been free.”

Next Part: https://www.tumblr.com/zemossunshine/713484377776144384/sunshine-chapter-46?source=share

#zemo #zemo x reader #zemo x you #helmut zemo #baron zemo #dr doom #dark!zemo #dark zemo #dark

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