Evilness isn't dead, just faded. Am not evil, just a sobering darkdevil who live in shadows.
When you feel nothing but forced to breathe and survive, nothing anymore bothers you. Nothing will anyhow bother you.. You don't bother love, lust don't attract u anymore, no one's charm is appealing u anymore. I wonder where this is driving me into. I ponder whether it is fine or not. Million thoughts in my head affecting and building the heaviness in my heart. A ruined bitch who lives in complete darkness. No soul to open my locked up coffin. The key to my coffin is lost and buried long gone... If u find my grave, u can still see my bloody bones breathing to death..
- Nandhini Chithra 🥀🖤
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It wasn’t when my childhood dog died
Or when my father left us
Or how the first boy I loved didn’t love me back
It wasn’t when my cousin tried to end his life
Or when I couldn’t share my sad thoughts cause he already did and my family couldn’t take much more.
It was when you first kissed me
That I realized how cruel the world really is.
How could the universe give me something so wonderful, so gentle and loving
Just to take it away when life expires
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Poor Angel
It was raining
But the sun is so bright
A baby angel has been born
A waiting baby
Everyone is happy with the birth
But the baby looks sick
The baby is having trouble breathing
His parents took him to a place of healing
Since then the sky has never been clear
The baby has a disorder
He could only breathe from the cries of the suffering
It's hard, the angel is looking for a way
Years passed quickly
The sky was bright
Now the baby has grown up
He is so gallant and handsome
Has strong wings
He was already able to help his father
Fight against crime
Once upon a time
He realized that his wing feathers were broken
Not because they lost the war
Because they won and made a save
A kindness
Since childhood he lived in the midst of scorn
He was born different from the others
So he didn't tell his parents
He lost a lot of his wing feathers
He couldn't go home because he was weak
Stranded on the battlefield
Just waiting for help or a miracle
Until finally he saw someone rob and kill
The loud cry of the victim slowly makes him strong
He felt stronger than before
His wing feathers began to grow
He addicted to the evil and suffering of others
He even went blind
And committed the crime himself
The wings are now perfect
He intends to go home to meet his father and mother
But his steps stopped
The place was full of blood of massacre
He couldn't have his parents know what he was doing
He returned to the sky
Before parents saw it
He reached for the heart inside his body
And tore it up
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My WIP, “It’s Dark In Here!”
It’s Work in Progress Wednesday.
So I have one book I’ve been in the process of that is called It’s Dark In Here! “Here” is the book. It's dark in the book. There's dark humor/writing in the book, you get me? Okay then.
So basically, for the back cover:
“It is indeed very dark in here, topics include suicidal thoughts and deep, dark musings of my own. I hope you can relate to dark feelings or at least intense sadness in order to truly get something out of reading this book. This book is, in particular, for people who have depression or suicidal tendencies. Though I’ve attempted to write a work of art that is relatable and validating, there’s something you should know. I’ve set out stars along the way to guide your journey through this book.”
AND the stars are positive poems! After every three deep, dark, truly raw and hurting poems I’ve written is a positive poem to share with you.
Thoughts?
__________
Peace, love, & poetry ❤️
Mac
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I deleted your picture from my wall paper. The darkness in my heart stings something bitter. I used to believe wholeheartedly in giving my all, no matter the cringe no matter the fall—but I have been losing myself in this gruesome darkness. It has been eating me day by day until I no longer know the bits and pieces of my heart, of who I am, it swallows me whole.
There have been few moments in my life that have taken me into these depths…these depths that I am pretty sure are as close to hell as it gets. Moments where my mind wants to shut down as I am taken under by an excruciating pain. The parts in the movie where someone falls on a wet concrete step and screams up at the sky while the rain plummets down.
Where the rain covers their mouth, they can’t breathe as they drown.
I feel it all over my face and I want to get up I want to chase it all away, but I am frozen and can’t move and I realize it is not rain but the tears of all of those years that truly meant nothing.
A dark hole has taken my heart. At times I feel it migrate towards my stomach. The blackness that never lets me sleep, it never lets me think, without it’s darkened claws grasping at all the light
I try and I try and I fight with all my fucking might
I spiral down, down, down until I finally wake up
I blink
But that never stops any tear, it just makes each and every one more clear.
This is grief.
This is me once and for all saying good bye. I have to leave.
You are just a child and I know deep down you do not understand but this is taking a toll on me that I will never come back from if I do not let go.
I see now why people make decisions based on bigger pictures.
Pictures of your little face smiling with no teeth up at the camera. Pictures of you holding onto me. Pictures that I never captured of the moments that play and replay in my mind …pictures that the darkness shuts out, suffocates the light.
Maybe one day you’ll find me. Maybe I’ll find you. But right now it is quiet.
there are so many children who need me. She needs me.
I wish I could make you see. But I cannot
Please do not think I ever forgot.
Sitting with the tear stained rain drops all over my face and all over my palms, I wipe them away on the back of my hand, I wipe them away on the pants that I have. I wipe them and wipe them until the blackness runs dry. I wipe them and wipe them until you are no longer left in my head for me to cry.
Goodbye my sweet sweet boy, good bye to the overwhelming love and that pure and innocent Joy.
I will forever hold a place deep within my blackened heart, the day I met you and from that very start….
I knew you were the one who opened me completely up, the one who made me look above. Made me vulnerable and showed me true love.
As I grieve you tonight and close my eyes with dried tears,
I hope one day you truly see me after all the years.
Go by…
I love you Joseph, as much pain as this does bring me
To the andromeda galaxy and back, I must now be free.
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Ingeborg Bachmann, In the Storm of Roses: Mortgaged Time; from 'Dark Words', tr. Mark Anderson
TEXT ID: Like Orpheus I play death on the strings of life.
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