@moonwoken asked: 5. What keeps your muse up at night? An embarrassing thought, a dark memory, a funny memory, a loving one, or maybe even a sad one. (for Orabela)
💌 casual, yet obscure questions [ meme - accepting ]
‘Should I have simply betrayed my brothers and killed them before either of them had the chance to betray me first?’
Despite many nicknaming her the ‘Golden Princess of Orzammar’, Orabela is far more conniving and daring than most people give her credit for, though a few have started to see the truth in that on the day of her commission when she has a nobleman of House Vollney killed only minutes after she stepped outside the palace, how she easily won the Provings in her own honour because she refused to be a pawn in Harrowmont’s game to see her wed to some wellplaced nobleman, and how she soon after won another Proving for the honour of House Aeducan, killing House Dace’s heir for his father’s crime of shaming her and her House.
She’s always been the curious sort - or nosey, as some might (rightfully) say - when she sneaks about the palace, poking into others’ personal documents and such. She has read the letters to Bhelen from the noblehunter he has been all but courting, and she has read Trian’s journal where she learns how Bhelen was involved in Trian learning about the merchant’s gift of the dagger that she did accept on her way to the Proving Grounds.
The fact, then, that Bhelen is the one to tell her of Trian’s supposed plans to move against her was suspicious from the start. Trian was many things, but he wasn’t exactly known for his subtly or tactical skills. That’s part of the very reason that she said she would not attack first - if Trian did try to kill her, she would be acting wholly in self-defence if she had to kill him.
However, when he was dead before she reached him at the rendezvous point, her suspicions from the night before proved to be well founded, especially when she sees Bhelen’s smug glance as he announces that it is just as he had claimed when he had warned their father and the others. The fact that his machinations did not end there, that he had sought to gain enough support in the Assembly to have her executed against tradition and the law only proved that she was right in what she always had thought: if she were ever to have to take her brothers down, she would need to take Bhelen out first.
With Orzammar in political turmoil, and a Blight threatening all living things - even the future of Orzammar, given how much they rely on the surface for foods and other goods - reclaiming the throne herself, and all that will have to be done in order to do so, even that which is less than pleasant to have to do at times, weighs heavily on her mind near constantly, and she won’t truly find peace until she herself sits on Ozammar’s throne as the rightful ruler in order to protect that which she holds dear and to ensure the future of the kingdom and of House Aeducan for future generations to come.
Had she actually acted on that thought, especially as things grew increasingly tense in the palace that very night, things likely would have been very different. Even simply removing Bhelen alone might have been enough, given that it was his actions that set everything into motion for how they are now. The Assembly was considering appointing her the next ruler despite Trian’s claim as the crown heir, and with Bhelen out of the picture, the risk of things coming to an end as they did would have been greatly reduced.
Though she doubts Trian would have been content to step aside, so she would likely have been forced to kill him regardless. It’s not something she’s incapable of doing, however, even if she doesn’t often make it her first choice as a solution to her problems - at least, before she learns the skills of an assassin, anyway.
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