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etoilehistoire · 6 months

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Midnight Conversation

(follows from First Feeding)

He should leave well enough alone. He knows it.

Things are, after all, good. The party trusts him, more or less. They see him as one of their own – not enough, perhaps, to have his back in a pinch, not enough to truly feel safe, but he can rely on them in battle. They’ll fight at his side and heal him when he’s hurt, and really, how much more can anyone realistically ask for?

And then there’s Xia, pretty little Xia who never offers her blood but never denies him when he asks for it, and who always seems to know when he needs it. After the first time, he’d waited as long as he could despite her warning, not wanting to face that too-knowing stare again, worried that his self-control would fail a second time. Until she’d taken to watching him across the campfire, a smirk playing over her lips, taunting him until he broke down and asked.

It went well. As it did the third time, and the fourth. His embarrassing loss of control hadn’t repeated, and they’d fallen into a comfortable pattern.

There’s no use disturbing it.

And yet it worries at him, like an itch he knows he shouldn’t scratch. He mulls it over as they sit around the fire and laugh at the latest attempts at cooking, as they each take turns singing in the cool night air.

Xia sings last, the pretty paladin’s voice surprisingly sweet. He waits until the others go to bed; through luck or through some ability to read him that he wishes she lacked, she stays up, strumming the battered old lute idly as they watch the last of the flames die down.

It would be nice if she’d say something. “Out with it,” maybe, or “I can tell you’ve got something on your mind – talk to me.” But Xia can wield silence like a weapon. She’ll wait, and continue to wait, and if he chickens out and says nothing she'll wait even longer, and he’ll know that she knows that he chickened out.

Fine. He moves closer, sits next to her. Waits to gather his thoughts. Then, with no preamble: “How would you know?”

She glances over, still picking through random chords. “Hmm?”

“You said.” He stares into the fire. “That first night. You said you could kill me if it were necessary, but that you didn’t know if it was necessary. Yet.” He swallows, not looking at her. “How would you know it was necessary?”

He can feel her stare now. “You’re asking me what would make me kill you.”

“I think it’s a valid question.”

She takes a deep breath. He waits, still not looking at her, but listening. Oh, he’s listening.

“If you were a threat to the rest of us,” she says slowly, after a long pause. “A threat that couldn’t be resolved any other way. If we couldn’t restrain you, couldn’t reason with you, couldn’t help you. If you were too far gone and there was no bringing you back. Then, yes. I could kill you. And I would. As I would for anyone else here.”

She takes a deep breath. “I would make it fast,” she says softly, and even though he’s not looking directly at her he can tell she’s also staring into the fire now. “Fast and clean. I wouldn’t make you suffer. And I would bury you properly, after. I would mourn you.”

Bizarrely, this makes his throat tighten. It’s… unexpected. He’d always figured when he died, it would be in a dingy dungeon somewhere, or perhaps on the side of the road, his body left for particularly unpicky crows. To hear that anyone, even his would-be murderer, would mourn him when he’s gone… well. It’s unexpected, that’s all.

Equally unexpected is the hand that slips into his. “It’s a pretty big ‘if,’” she says softly, and squeezes his hand. “I don’t expect it to come up.”

If asked (and if he were inclined to be truthful), he would have said that the pretty little paladin barely tolerates him, that she sees him as, at best, a necessary inconvenience. He would have said that he sees her as a meal ticket – quite literally, in fact – and a strong body to stand between him and his enemies, nothing more. Yet as they sit, hand in hand, watching the last of the flames die down, she makes no move to take her hand back and neither does he. And if either of them are manipulating the other, he genuinely can’t tell.

#astarion #astarion x tav #baldurs gate astarion #xia!tav #dark conversations #baldur's gate 3 #etoilewrites

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uncanny-tranny · 9 months

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Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

#amatonormativity #ask to tag (genuine)#i honestly *wish* conversations like this were things i was exposed to when i was younger...#...maybe then i'd've felt less of a need to surpress my aromanticism and asexuality...#...the feeling of brokenness still trails behind me sometimes because so many of us are taught that this all WILL happen...#...we WILL fall in love. we WILL have a nuclear family. we WILL be satisfied with this...#...and that this is the IDEAL for cishet patriarchal structures...#...and that /any/ deviation to the SLIGHTEST degree is that fault of the *individual*. who WOULDN'T want this life?#there's this idea like i said that maturity is gained as you almost... adhere to expectations...#...and that's genuinely dangerous to associate maturity with that and i hope you can fill in those gaps because it can get dark fast

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fromgoy2joy · 26 days

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I’m still nearly crying laughing from this interaction that happened yesterday.

I wore my Magen David in French lecture. It is 8:30 in the morning. I sat down next to this random girl that I’d never really seen before.

She looks at me for 0.7 seconds before starting to avidly sketch palestenian flags on her notes for the next hour and a half. Like pages and pages of the symbol, glancing at me the entire time.

Whoaaa, you really showed me up. I’m deeply offended and don’t know what to do with myself ! Help! I’m meeeeelting! The supposed Zionism in me is burning!!

Like I have no opinions on that flag. No grudge or resentment. But what makes someone go angry bird attack mode when seeing a symbol that’s Jewish adjacent?

#fromgoy2joy thoughts #jewish #jumblr #jewblr #jewish tumblr #jewish conversion #jewish convert #tw antisemtism #antisemitism #jewish humor #judaism stuff #jewish diaspora #dark jewish humor

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mehblahblah · 2 years

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Conversations that leave you smiling and with a warm heart>>>>>

#dumb conversations..we lose track of time #quotes #light academia #dark academia #my writing #my work #little notes #short quotes #meme #quotations #conversation

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matt-murdick · 2 months

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Spock: this is a remarkably intelligent creature, it’s a shame that only I can converse with her. also she says humans are ugly but I’m the handsomest.

Kirk: she likes your ears, huh?

Spock: of course she did. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that humans do not have such attractive ears.

McCoy: can I ask it a follow up question?

Spock: no.

#this is basically the conversation they have at the end of the episode #s1e26 #the devil in the dark #spock #james t kirk #leonard mccoy #star trek #tos #star trek tos

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feniksido · 6 months

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Discussing the failures of our predecessors and how to avoid them aka They should have given Gortash a Gun

#my art #enver gortash #the dark urge #bg3 #i couldnt stop thinking about the post that was like #gortash should be the single artificer in the game and he should also be the only one with a gun #yeah #durgetash #if you squint its there........#i do imagine this was a conversation had as durge was trying to perfect his murder fantasy by asking for clarification on the details #personally i think this is hilarious but i really only make content for myself so if no one else laughs thats YOUR LOSS

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pearlsdiamondsandvodka · 28 days

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the sandra lynn / fig conversation is driving me Insane. fig saying that sometimes she doesn’t wanna exist as herself at all…not wanting to ask her friends how they see her (because she’s afraid to hear their response) saying that to someone she is a monster and she Cannot stop thinking about it. sandra lynn starting the conversation saying she needs to step up but is also simultaneously taken aback about what fig expresses and doesn’t know how to responds to it and suggests getting ice cream. sandra lynn saying “convincing people they deserve good things is really tough” talking about herself but how it also reflects fig. insane!!

#if that conversation had kept going I would have started bawling!!#fully believe brennan was like ‘well oh shit this is getting dark and heavy quick let’s uh get some snow cones’#I will say I think Emily does a beautiful job here of showing teenage life #not a universal experience perhaps but definitely a common one #feeling so lost and insecure in who you are and under so much pressure to be a certain way #and her saying she doesn’t wanna exist #vs me resonating with ‘I don’t wanna die sometimes I wish I’d never been born at all’ lyrics #it was hard to watch ngl but it’s also bc Emily does Such a good job w emotional scenes!!#that woman is so emotionally invested you get emotional invested as well #if Emily axford cries I cry with her #and loved to see more of Sandra Lynn again <3 #damn good scene #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #sandra lynn faeth #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan

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fairydrowning · 1 year

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"When you are washing the dishes, washing the dishes must be the most important thing in your life. Just as when you are drinking tea, drinking tea must be the most important thing in your life. Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the whole world revolves— slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this actual moment is life."

– Thich Nhat Hanh

#enjoy you weekend and live in every moment either it's just reading your favorite book or just a simple conversation with anyone #dark academia #light academia #excerpts #fragments #poetry #books & libraries #romanticism #classic literature #book quotes #literature quotes #quotations #words

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takami-takami · 6 months

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Scent Kink!Keigo who's raptorial senses have been finely honed like a sharpened blade for as long as he can remember. For all his analytical prowess, he could never quite pinpoint the exact cause of his heightened senses. Perhaps it, like most things, is a combination of nature and nurture— avian DNA and brutal, militant training. The source matters little to him. Keigo has always been one for outcomes.

Scent Kink!Keigo who discovers pretty early on in your friendship that your scent is distinct. If he could put it into words, the first that would come to mind is warm. It smells warm when he sits next to you on the couch, bouncing his leg like a dog that smells something delectable right under its nose yet tries to behave and contain himself all the same. Your neck is perfectly bare. If he could just lean over and bury his nose in whatever crevice is most available, he'd die a happy man.

Scent Kink!Keigo who is actually so normal about your scent, all these years later. Sure, he memorizes your smell, conjures up the scent in his mind's eye whenever he has trouble sleeping at night. The thought of it soothes him, aids in building his picturesque fantasies of you holding him from behind and shushing the bad dreams away. But he's very normal about it. Of course he's attached— you're his best friend.

Scent Kink!Keigo who can't remember the first time your scent began to cause his pants to grow tight. He thinks it was that night you arrived late for your usual meetup, panting and running before throwing your arms around him and apologizing, promising you ran just to make sure he didn't wait too long. He remembers his eyes widening while his pupils shrunk to dots, overwhelmed by the potency of you invading every sense. It made his cock throb. He made an excuse to hide in the bathroom within the hour.

Scent Kink!Keigo who does a remarkable job at containing the whine in his throat when you show him around your new apartment, quickly discovering you didn't bother to put away your laundry basket before he arrived. Why should you worry about your best friend seeing it? Keigo would never hold ill intentions. Keigo would never stuff a pair of your panties in his back pocket, Keigo wouldn't dream of fantasizing the second he secures it, flashes of the misbehavior he could get up to conjured quickly in his mind.

Scent Kink!Keigo who fidgets and avoids your eyes when you insist he stay so you can feed him takeout that night. The weight of his prize stings against his thigh; and as much as he loves your company, something else is calling to his attention right now. He quickly makes an excuse, faking a dispatch call by your window and waving once before he takes flight.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's brain glitches when he gets home and realizes he has to decide what to do first: take out his cock to touch himself and relieve the pressure straining in his pants, or pull your used panties out of his pocket. He picks the second option.

Scent Kink!Keigo who's whining in his bed moments later, your scent finally rubbed across his face with his hand fisting between his legs. It's like static when he twists his wrist with each stroke, imagining the smell of sex in the air as you ride his cock. Eyes rolled into the back of his skull, he swears the scent of your freshly used panties is enough. At least for tonight. At least until he needs a little refresher for his memory and has to snag another.

Scent Kink!Keigo who thinks he's a degenerate. He's a pervert. He's a sick freak who gets off on his crush's panties stuffing his mouth to muffle his moans, his saliva drenching the poor fabric; and he's even sicker for getting his dick wet to the thought of you catching him and repeating those insults in his ear while you sit on his face. He's sick, imagining himself inhaling it right from the source, spilling all over his abdomen to the thought of it.

Scent Kink!Keigo who is entirely, utterly fucked when you decide to move in together as roommates. Trouble isn't something he considered before. He's too excited by the idea of being around you to consider the repercussions on his mental health to be in such close proximity to you when night falls.

Scent Kink!Keigo who doesn't know whether it's a blessing or a curse that your room is directly adjacent to his. He knows exactly when you're touching yourself in the next room over.

Scent Kink!Keigo who throws his head back with a groan, hand ghosting down his happy trail and sliding beneath his waistband to grab his swelling cock again.

#dark content #kind of #I wrote this in the backseat of a moving car like a degenerate instead of making conversation like a normal person #hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #mha thirst #bnha thirst #🖋 writing #🌶 spice #smut #x reader #fem clothes

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y-rhywbeth2 · 4 months

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A discussion with Astarion about how Durge wants to die that triggered the memory of reading a certain dev note detailing what happens when you reject Bhaal... Should I laugh or cry? Maybe just scream.

If Astarion doesn't stop foreshadowing things I'm going to multiclass him as a diviner, so help me...

#*screaming*#I wonder if it was quick... probably not #I wonder if Astarion remembered this conversation while it was happening...#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #durge #the dark urge #dark urge

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myth-of-light · 3 months

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Observation: Chaos Vortex cutscene

I always love this scene, but I also love how much effort is put into littler details. I also recommend watching the cutscene then just looking at the photos I've taken, as the video format conveys so much more.

^ While this is on the lower pad, it might make you miss all the details on the upper pad.

^ Dark Pit is bruised up himself and looks very genuinely concerned about Pit's health, that his sprite doesn't convey.

^ He gets up as Viridi explains the situation, watching Pit once he gets one knee up. While he is listening to Viridi he is focused on Pit.

^ By the time he gets told he can't fly he begins to look downwards, most likely a mix of remorse but also his own injuries.

^But he quickly looks up again when he sees Palutena approach, before she is even on screen. Suddenly being alerted of her presence.

^ By the time she is on screen Dark Pit looks away more deliberately. His eyes are still open, looking at the ground in from of him. He doesn't watch Palutena pick up Pit. If I wasn't sure he felt guilty before I definitely see it now, but mostly by the act of letting Palutena have space with Pit. He looks like he is contemplating as Palutena pulls Pit over. I think he has already decided at this point he is going to help Pit. Which is so cool but easy to miss detail.

KI:U really knows how to use it's models and it is really shown here. There are of course many other scene with this much detail. And while small I really appreciate what it shows for the character.

#myth conversations #myth analyses things #dark pit #kid icarus #kid icarus uprising

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deceased-bunny · 1 year

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Blood Bunny

#bunny furry #trans furry #trans artist #dark aesthetics #blood aesthetics #queer furry #bunny oc #converse hightops #deadbunny #2022 #myart

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royalarchivist · 2 months

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Fit: Pac– this isn't you, you're just– I know you're all happy and stuff, and this medicine is making you feel good, but it's not reality. It's not reality.

Pac: [Shouting] And what is reality, Fit?! What is reality?! The reality that we have is like, just wait until the Eggs show up, or just wait for something to happen! I'm cool with my medicine, you know? I'm cool with Cucurucho helping me! It's making me feel way more better! So that's the reality for me, you know. Reality is the thing that you accept, so I'm accepting this as my reality. [He sighs, then says in a quieter voice] Sorry, Fit. Sorry, I just– sorry. I didn't mean to scream at you, sorry.

Fit: No, listen Pac– you need help. I know you– do you even remember why you took this medicine in the first place?

Pac: [In a quiet voice] 'Cuz I didn't have any other choice, you know. I was hopeless. It was my only choice, to use the medicine. That's all. [In a quieter voice, starting to mumble] That's why I'm gonna- I'm gonna still- gonna use it.

Fit: Look Pac–

Pac: –until I forget what happened, and that's it! That's what I'm going to do.

Fit: I know you're still in there somewhere, Pac. I know you still remember everything. I need you to remember.

Pac: [Mumbled] ...I will remember– I won't– I don't want to, I don't want to. I just want to- to build my home alone, ok Fit? I'm- I'm sorry.