Cassie: Hey, Gregory?
Gregory, playing a video game: What?
Cassie: Can I share something with you from earlier today?
Gregory: Wh- what is it, Cassie?
Cassie: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning.
Gregory: Mhm.
Cassie: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend?
Gregory: Yeah?
Cassie: Your response.
Gregory: *trying not to crack up*
Cassie: At 9:30 in the morning.
Cassie: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit"
Gregory: *laughing*
Cassie: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization.
Gregory: You just made me dieeee...
Cassie: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now."
Cassie: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you.
Cassie: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man"
Gregory: *wheezing with laughter*
Cassie: I respond "Gregory, you're scaring me." An hour passes-
Cassie: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg"
Cassie: "im very tired"
Gregory: *struggling to breathe*
Cassie: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Gregory, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-"
Cassie: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later,
Cassie: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook"
Cassie: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later,
Gregory: *falling over with laughter*
Cassie: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."
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Warm Cup Of Comfort (Dan Avidan x Reader)
Hi my lovelies! So I’ve been writing on AO3, and thought I’d add a little bit of free writing here
About the fic: gender neutral reader, you’re a barista (because of Dan’s affinity for coffee), you’re in your mid twenties so it is an age gap relationship
Warnings: none that I know off
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Scrubbing the stubborn coffee rings off the pickup counter, you huffed, bracing yourself on the lip of the surface while scrubbing as hard as you possibly could, the ring soon coming up as you silently celebrated the defeat of the stain.
Working in a smaller coffee shop was fun, in Glendale. Had more liberty with coffee options and decor, even having a sweet little coffee shop cat who’d been rescued from the back alleyway that guests seemed to really enjoy.
Muffins padded over to you, squeaking with each step she took as you pet her gently, the senior cat loving the warmth provided to her by the adoring fans that were the coffee shop regulars.
Heading to the door and flipping the open sign over, fixing the bow you’d tied on your apron and sighing lightly as you got to work. Having regulars was convenient, meaning you could prep all their coffee at once and they’d come right on time.
The door squeaked as it opened, and there he was. A regular your become pretty fond of. He’d introduced himself as Danny, the first time you’d ever met him. And the next time, as Dan. With the year and a half he kept coming in, you learned about the life he led. He was a content creator, and a musician. He had a sweet dog named Camilla, and he had OCD that was a longtime leftover of an illness from when he was younger.
He took wide strides to the counter as he grinned to himself lightly. Carefully pulling out his wallet as you shook your head, dismissing him lightly and nodding.
“No Daniel, you’re not paying for this. You always pay and tip a ridiculous amount and it’s insane. I mean, I don’t know how much you get paid, for the YouTube work and the music, but I do know that you’re overly generous.” You explained
And Dan just smiled, a warm smile that was kinda lopsided, the wrinkles in his face moving with it to show that his genuine joy had simply shaped and changed how he looked.
“I mean you work hard, and you make what I like, and you bake that cool bread that’s all spongy and I can dip it in my coffee,” he explained as he hummed lightly to himself. Carefully taking his coffee and his milk bread. He was gentle with it, as if he’d squish the slice into a little ball of bread if he was too rough.
You shrugged softly as you paid for it yourself, carefully giving him the coffee for his coworker as you ring it up, the register making a loud ding as Muffins raced over and you laughed, watching as she leapt on top of the counter to greet Daniel. Who’d become fond of the cat as he laughed softly, setting everything down to pet her.
“Have you ever noticed, how you take care of people so often? Like this cat was living outside. And you make sure you’ve got the right orders, and that you’ve got a friendly environment for everyone to enjoy. I’ve seen you bake extra to take to that shelter up the block,” he rubbed behind muffins ears, before looking you in the eyes. “You’re a good person…” he said softly, almost as if it were some secret only the two of you should know.
He slowly opened his wallet again as you went to stop him, him laughing as he scooted himself away a bit before shoving a wad of paper inside your tip jar as you sighed lightly.
Dan carefully picked up his coffees and snacks before heading out with a soft hum and nodding lightly.
You pulled the wad out of the tip jar as you carefully smoothed it out. His phone number written down with ‘call me?’ Scrawled messily under it.
For the first time, this was a tip you really did want.
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Towards the end of your shift, you carefully flipped the chairs up and onto the tables, making sure that it didn’t thud too hard. Not wanting to damage any of the kitschy decor you’d carefully accumulated over the years.
Hearing the front door squeak open, you turned around carefully. “Welcome in! How can I help-…you?” You smiled up at him, as he sheepishly padded in, carrying a plastic to-go bag, a slight sheen of moisture on the plastic as he set it on the counter.
“I was waiting for you to text or call, then I realized you were probably working. Which then led me to realize you probably hadn’t eaten or drank anything that wasn’t coffee so I thought I’d bring you dinner?” He rubbed the back of his neck carefully as you smiled lightly, undoing your apron and flipping the closed sign over as you nodded.
“And I got like a little side of uh, tuna? In a can, from a store nearby for muffins, thought he’d appreciate it?” He was pink in the face, it was apparent he was trying really hard.
“I’m sure SHE would appreciate those, it’s like a sweet meal for her.” You promised as you carefully took the tin from the bag and opened it carefully. The large cat shooting up from the cat bed in the corner and rapidly racing over to take it as she basically shoved her face into the cab.
Dan watched with a smile, petting her back as he sighed lightly. “She’s kind of a fat cat you know?” He observed as you scoffed lightly, putting the foods onto plates from the counter as you set them on a table in the corner that you hadn’t put the chairs back up on just yet, Dan following quietly.
“I’ve been flirting for the past six months,” he confessed as he slowly sat down, his legs barely fit under the table as you laughed softly.
“No, you’re kidding! I’ve been trying to hint at you for like six months, i doodled hearts on your cup!” You commented as he laughed loudly, throwing his head back and leaning. It was cute, how he let his joy move his body in any way that it saw fit. “I thought that was like, just a special cup, I guess? I dunno all your to go cups have cute designs so I just assumed?” He explained through his fit of giggles, which was pretty amusing as you picked through your pasta carefully, humming lightly to yourself.
“I just, I thought you weren’t interested.” He explained as you shook your head. “I mean I’m in my forties, it might’ve come off as creepy…” he whispered as you gently smacked his shoulder.
“I think you’re great Daniel, I thought you’d turned me down because I was too young!” You confessed as he shook his head lightly.
“Funny thing is, communist saying ‘do you wanna go on a date with me’ would’ve fixed all of that.” He lamented as you smiled, taking his hand from across the table.
“Hey Daniel, mister dark roast with dairy free creamer and light sugar? Would you go on a date with me?”
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