#damn and i really believed i was in a stable enough place in my life to be able to start t

[daisys-reality]

PAC.015: Your 18+ love life with your S/O in your DR

This reading focuses on your s*xual relationship and your s*xual dynamic with your s/o in your desired reality once you've established a more or less stable relationship with them (ex. you being together for a longer period of time or perhaps once you're already married) 🔞‼️ Please do not read this if you're underaged. I tried to keep it 'light' in the way I phrased things overall in the reading but the keywords at the end of each reading do have some more explicit words, so please keep that in mind! Also, some piles turned out a bit longer, sorry for that! Let me know how much it resonates!

[-> DR stands for desired reality and is a term in the reality shifting community. S/O stands for significant other and basically talks about your special someone (partner/lover/crush...).]

If you like to read more readings from me, feel free to check out my masterlist ! Also, I don't own any of these beautiful pics, I just edited them a little.

❦ PILE ONE

Your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: cobra (fire) & hummingbird (air)

Oh, okay. Your energy pile one is very raw and deep lol. I think you’re very good at controlling your s*xual energy and your instincts. You’re the one who keeps calm and just watches how someone loses themselves in front of you, or perhaps below you. You enjoy that. You like to be in control, or to be the one with the power s*xually. You like leading, teaching and giving your s*xual partner instructions on what to do to please you. You love seeing them behave and obey, it lifts your mood and increases your desire for them. I can imagine you’re the one who innocently teases/arouses them and when they confront you, you say 'i don’t know what you mean?’ with your composed face. Perhaps you even go further and tease them for being horny for no reason lmao. There is really something about watching, so perhaps you like watching your partner please themselves in front of you. Or them having to watch you please yourself and they are not allowed to touch you (or themselves?). 

They love seeing you get ready and making yourself pretty, it makes them so horny. Especially if you put your clothes on slowly in front of them with no care. It’s so seductive to them. I think you knowingly ignoring them turns them on too, they like working hard for your attention and being put into place once in a while. Like I think your s/o it pretty composed and confident in their daily life, probably in a leading position with many responsibilities of something like that… and no one would ever believe they behave like that, it is very contradicting to how they act in their day-to-day life. Perhaps it’s also the first time they were able to fulfill these desires they’ve locked away for so long. Maybe you’re the first person to make them feel that way, comfortable enough to give up control and just follow your lead. 

But this teasing part is more like fun foreplay for you guys (even though I strongly believe your relationship in general has a very similar dynamic), once you teased the shit out of your partner, I see the dynamic shifting slightly. When your partner behaves and pleases you satisfyingly you give yourself to them fully as a reward, you let them go crazy with you…like you love seeing them losing themselves in the pleasure they get with you, losing themselves in you. Damn. You want their mind to be full with just you. There might be some duality about you, your vibe or something physical like an innocent face + mature body - they love it. Also, another thing that turns them on is, when you sometimes are more arrogant or like a know-it-all towards them.

Your DR s/o’s s*xual energy is very …enthusiastic and energetic I guess. Like, they beam with energy when they are around you and they are just super happy. To be honest, like a dog who is happy to see his owner lmao. I guess puppy-like is a good description for them. They can’t get enough of you and they will always be curious about you, your likes/dislikes and about your body. They might love exploring your body, finding all your sweet spots. They might be very creative with you in the way they please you. Every moment with you is worth savoring, life becomes sweet with you. I think they are quite smart as well, and they might be good with dirty talk, they also love learning - especially when you teach them. I think the whole s*xual experience with you feels very nourishing and even rejuvenating for them. I think sometimes they can get a bit too much, pushy or insistent, perhaps bratty - it’s best when you put them back to their place in those moments, maybe even punish them? lol They like edging you too, and exhausting you fully (all night). I feel like seeing you weak and tired after the act turns them on too lmao, they will definitely like taking care of you afterwards as well! Aftercare is big here. Perhaps they are the type to bring you your breakfast to bed the next morning and take care of all your responsibilities for you so that you can rest in bed all day long (aww).

Your DR s/o sees you as that powerful queen (regardless of gender), the full package and they just want to serve you and treat you as the queen/king you are. They are crazy about you and I don’t think that will change regardless of how long you're married or long the relationship lasts. If you had rather unpleasant or even traumatic s*exual experiences, this relationship will be very healing for you - you can finally put the past chapter to an end and breathe a sigh of relief. You will learn and grow a lot in this relationship and become free of any addictions, codependency issues. This is a very promising relationship, lots of potential - opportunity to build something lasting together etc. It is a very close relationship and you both will open up about a lot of things you felt like you could never tell anybody. A close and unique experience for both. I think you both will keep this (s*xual) relationship very secretive, because you guys don’t want to share this with others - it’s too close to your hearts. I see that there is a lot of trust, loyalty and emotional security with you both. ❤️

For some reason I believe that you both might really enjoy roleplay, so the dynamics that come to my mind are the following: teacher + (bratty) student, owner + (eager) pet, master + (obsessed) servant, queen/king + (hopelessly in love) knight 

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up that are a bit more explicit (- might not be for everyone):

expensive clothes (dressing someone up in pretty things just to undress them later), wine and dine you beforehand (they want you to be relaxed with them and they put great effort into making you feel comfortable with them), sugar daddy/mommy vibes lol, slight bdsm play (handcuffs and other movement restricting items, collar/leash?), edge play, orgasm denial, lots of teasing, you giving them rough handjobs? (- it makes them crazy lol), pet play (we all know who is gonna be the pet lol your s/o), feet & calves (your s/o might be into them, them might perhaps even like licking them or being stepped on by your pretty feet lmao), roughly grabbing skin, aroma/scent play - perhaps even with aphrodisiac or doing it when you’re high or drunk?, setting the mood with the surroundings (music, light etc.), they might like doing it outside (on the beach perhaps), expansive dessous/underwear + stockings, they love your tiddies/chest and your curves, corsets (if you have tiddies you s/o might like the look of it - how they almost spill out idk if that is the right word), you wearing high heels that accentuate your legs is a turn on, they have a long “member” if your s/o is male (iykwim) so.. deep penetration, doing it while standing or from behind, long foreplay, the act is wild and rough sometimes but full of passion (ofc only as long as both like it), times after times for longer periods (ex. the full night) - your s/o has great stamina, super sweet aftercare, very fulfilling s*x for both of you, lots of wetness, during the act you're both very much immersed in each other (you shut everything else out, it’s just you two), lots of love and passion.

❦ PILE TWO

your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: bat (air) & elk (earth)

Hello pile two! The first thing that I heard was that you are a distraction (to your s/o) lmao. Your energy is very swift, kinda hard to grasp. Perhaps you’re very hot and cold and your horniness comes out of nowhere. I think you’re very subtle with your s*xual energy and how you express it. You might be the type to just give small hints to your s/o. You might expect your s/o to just get it and act right away. It could also be that you’re the type that gets horny randomly, even by the smallest things and you might prefer to act on it right away because I feel like the s*xual energy can fade away very quickly too. I don’t think you have it really under control, maybe you don’t even want to. But it can also be that you just randomly remember something and it immediately triggers the s*xual energy in you because there is a sense of unpredictability with you. You might like to express your sexuality freely and to let your s*xual energy flow. That’s what you truly desire - being open and vulnerable. The s*x with your s/o itself may even feel spiritual to you, like every time something changes within you - I mean this metaphorical lmao - like a rebirth, very transforming. It seems like you prefer to do it with your s/o at night time or in the early morning while it is still dark. You might not be the type to do it outside or at unknown places. You prefer doing it behind closed doors, especially at places you know (ex. your own bedroom instead of a hotel room) and with dime lights or in complete darkness - just following your insticts and focusing on your other senses (feeling, hearing etc.). It might just be very important to you to be somewhere familiar where you feel comfortable. Also, it feels like your usual self might be quite different than when you’re in a ‘s*xual mood’. So, the act of revealing this side of you might be something very vulnerable to you. You just want to let go and let this hidden side of you shine and you want it to be completely accepted by your s/o. I think those very romantic moments with your s/o or moments in which the emotions are running high turn you on quite a lot. Having an emotional connection with your s*xual partners is something very important for you. And I can already tell that you have a very strong/intense emotional connection with your s/o (and they with you too). Also, I think you might daydream a lot during the day about you s/o and about all your s*xual moments. 

While your s*xual energy is more ‘airy’, swift and delicate even, your s/o’s energy is more earthy, steady and powerful. Their s*xual energy is strongly grounded within them, also very masculine (regardless of gender). In s*xual matters, they are the type to provide and build stability (for you). They also know themselves and their desires very well. It could be that they are already (by that time) very experienced because it seems like they have already established their s*xual identity. I can tell you that this person is super reliable as a friend, a lover and as a partner. If you’re not very experienced, you can definitely trust them with everything. They will take care of everything for you and they will treat you so that you feel super duper comfortable. They are really kind and also very consistent in their ways and with their effort. They’re the type to create a certain routine which I believe also helps you to have a sense of familiarity because you know what you get yourself into. It’s important for your s/o that you both always end up satisfied. As I already mentioned, they know what they like and what they don’t like and they’re the type to communicate this pretty early on. They value respect and that’s why they’re also very keen on respecting you as a person and your boundaries. They want you to be open to them as well. That’s why they will work hard on building a stable foundation for you to be comfortable enough to reveal yourself. 

To be honest, the fact that you’re so hard to grasp makes them crazy - they want to get to know you on deep levels and your swift energy and your unpredictability triggers something in them because they’re not used to it. You’re so different from them, you guys are like opposites. Of course you share similar values but the way you handle and express your sexual energy is almost completely different but in a ‘ying and yang’ way - so you balance each other out. I think you might have had a rough start at the beginning or it might have taken quite some time before you started a relationship with each other. But I assume that the s*xual energy/attraction towards each other was strong from the beginning so this could have created some tensions at first. Remember how I said in the beginning that you’re like a distraction to them? That’s because you keep your s/o obsessed lol. You’re the only thing they have in mind 24/7 - for real! It might sometimes be so intense that it’s almost burdensome to them😂. It might not be very noticeable because they’re good at hiding it but you trust me. :’) 

This is a bit random but… I kinda got the feeling that you’re s/o also had many bad experiences in the past (before you), some experiences might have even been traumatic for them. They might have struggled a lot but they got themselves out of that low but it was a lot of work. That’s why by the time you both get together they are very solid within themselves and very careful. I can tell that they will treat you with a lot of care! They would never want you to experience the shit they have - you’re so precious to them. I think they would even hate themselves later on if they would realize that they mistreated you or gave you bad experiences. But I’m sure this won’t be the case. They might just be very anxious about it from time to time which leads me to another point. It is extremely important that you learn how to be more open with them... or rather communicate more with them. I can see that your s/o learned more or less how to communicate effectively. But pile two, you guys need to work on that, I can feel that this might create some problems in the future because you tend/prefer to be very subtle and you want your s/o to just get you - which they do most of the time because they are very perceptive but that does not mean that you can rely on that 24/7. Your s/o might appear very stable but they are also human and they can get anxious !! - even if they don’t show it. So, I ask you to communicate yourself more clearly to them from time to time and to give your s/o feedback on how they’re doing. You know… you’re s/o can be very hard on themselves because they are perfectionists and their standards and expectations for themselves are quite high! Please remember to praise and reassure them every now and then, remind them that they are doing everything right - it takes the mental pressure away that they feel.

They might be the type to ask you to just lay back and to let them take care of everything (-> “You don’t need to do anything - I will take the lead.”). Regardless of gender, the more masculine energetically in this relationship (which seems to be your s/o) is dominant and strict while the more feminine is submissive but playful. That might be the main dynamic. Again, there are a lot of aspects here that hint that you guys are quite the opposites. One of you might be small and petite and the other quite tall and big/muscular - there could be a big height gap, and there could also be an age gap as one energy seems very young and innocent while the other seems older and very mature but it can also be an ‘appearance thing’ where one just looks very young/innocent and they other one looks significantly older. In addition, their energy feels more realistic and grounded while yours feels more dreamy and almost ethereal (especially to them). 

You’re s/o is a person of action, one of their dominant love languages might be ‘acts of services’ - they might show their feelings and their devotion through that. They might not be the best with expressing their feelings verbally or speaking in a romantic way (they’re more straightforward and blunt), so they will try to make up for this through other things (acts of services, giving gifts and physical affection). But as I already mentioned, words of affirmations might be something that touches them deeply more so than for example receiving gifts etc.

I think you enjoy it when your s/o takes the lead but you're also willing to divide the ‘work’. But you have to communicate this clearly to them because you’re s/o might overdo it sometimes. They are the type to overthink things and to come too quick to conclusions. They think they have to be the responsible one in the relationship, to take care of everything and to have everything under control. It could be that your s/o sometimes puts you on a pedestal and they might put on more responsibilities that they have to - to the point it even seems unrealistic. Uff… please give your s/o a reality check from time to time! It would be helpful if you take the lead yourself sometimes and perhaps plan and initiate things yourself! You’re s/o likes to be the provider type - it comes naturally to them - but relieving them of their responsibilities every now and then would make them feel very appreciated and at ease and they will be very grateful for you in those moments - to the point of feeling emotional or getting teary!

Another potential issue is that you both often want to avoid confrontation and your s/o is the type to internalize problems and struggle with self doubt/self judgment. I get the vibe that your s/o sometimes feels like you’re not really opening up to them because they often don't really know or perhaps understand how you truly feel. I get the feeling that they might think that you try to distract them from problems through s*xual activities (I don’t even think that this is your intention. You’re just very intuitive and able to quickly understand how they feel + you get easily turned because those situation usually get more emotionally intense, and then you just get super turned on and you just wanna please them and help them release the emotions through s*x). Sometimes you're so elusive ("too good to be true") that they fear losing you which might also lead to times where they get quite a bit possessive or jealous!

Again, I have to mention that you make them crazy pile two! I just heard "you're so pretty babe I'm losing my mind" oh gosh… Your connection feels so intense but also kinda messy… like emotionally. The feelings and the attraction is so strong that it’s kinda messing with your heads😭 It seems like there's also a lot of possessiveness and jealousy going on in this dynamic - though it doesn't feel very toxic… the obsession is just mutual so it's ok I guess😂 Their love and desire for you is very intense and they might not be used to this, so sometimes they might wonder if they come off too strong or if they scare you off if they openly express it to you. Things might turn pretty rough actually because the passion is so strong (and they are strong too *wink wink*). In those moments where the desire or the feelings just become overwhelming to them and they ‘lose control’ (especially when you’re sleeping with each other), they might even start feeling guilty afterwards or they might feel like their desires are too much/too dark (?). But I feel like this has to do with them putting you on a pedestal and seeing you as this innocent and super precious person that they don’t want to hurt. I don’t know why but I feel like you like the intensity and the fact they suffer so much internally (i’m laughing so hard rn) … it seems like the thought of it turns you on. Also, your s/o likes to release the build up stress (of their daily life) through s*xual activities. Similar to you, they like to release things and let themselves go completely in those times. But I think they sometimes hold themselves back for your sake or at least at the beginning of the relationships because they assume that that would be the best for you but they don’t really know that you enjoy the roughness and intensity with them too and that you wouldn’t mind if they just follow their desires. Honestly, just openly tell them or make them more crazy until they lose themselves in the pleasure and just do it haha.

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up on that are a bit more explicit (- might not be for everyone): 

playful bickering/arguing, lots of passion, roughness, one of you being more one the muscular side and the other one being super turned on by those muscles, some past issues may come up and you guys need to learn to find closure, you turning them on out in public and them having to wait until you guys get home to ‘punish’ you, something about the number 9 or perhaps 69 lmao, babygirl/babyboy & daddy/mommy dynamic, them calling you ’my lil’ princess’/‘my precious boy’, height gap and/or age gap, something about hair and it being a turn on (not only scalp hair like hairstyle but also body hair), your s/o enjoys giving you gifts and doing things for you - they are the giver type, they are good at pleasing you, them holding you up or you sitting on their lap and making out, stretching out clothes or ripping them apart, them limiting your speaking ability like covering your mouth or putting fingers in or just making you unable to think clearly because of the intense pleasure😏, pressing on your lower stomach while doing it, them putting their body weight on you for deeper penetration, them holding you in place, roughly grabbing your ass, and holding you down, stubbornness, intensity, possessiveness, jealousy, controlling - them controlling you in a sense so perhaps some type of bdsm, powerplay (mainly with them being the dominant one), feeling guilts and insanity lol - probably them, if you have back dimples they might love them, restriction (on the ‘energetically female’/submissive person), them being rather strict and ‘mean’ during the act,  being each other’s recovery/healing space, you’re 24/7 horny for each other - you guys can’t keep your hands to yourself, pile two you think that your s/o indulges you and that they give you comfort, to you they seem very abundant…like ‘the full package’, you guys have a extremely high sexual compatibility, their love languages are: acts of service (giving) + gifts (giving) + physical touch (giving and receiving) + words of affirmation (receiving) + quality time (receiving), your s/o might have an attractive low voice or they might be more the type to ‘grunt’ than moan, nipple play in both ways (you and them), grabbing someone’s neck while making out, stroking through someone’s hair + caressing each other’s skin and lots of cuddling/snuggling into each other (both sexually but also non sexually), high fertility, one or both of you might have a breeding kink, for the people in this pile where having children is an option or wish: your s/o might think things like ‘you’re the mother/father of my future children’ or ‘you’re the one I want to build a family with’ etc., cum play could be a thing, you pile two might have weird fantasies and your s/o has wild fantasies, your s/o wonders sometimes if it's okay to do certain things, COMMUNICATION is so important!! - you guys need to learn to communicate with each openly about your fantasies/desires and your needs, you might often manipulate them into doing things with you instead of talking about it (💀), you’re s/o secretly loves it when you reassure them of things and when you praise them, you like caring about them emotionally and they like caring/providing for you physically, dependency - they might be emotionally dependent on you and you physically on them lol, you guys are super needy for each other❣️ 

❦ PILE THREE

your and your s/o’s s*xual energies in this relationship: firefly (air) + zebra (fire)

Hello pile three, your guys’ s*xual energy here seems kinda intense but also very elusive. Uff.. ngl I was a bit confused with you reading at first. Your relationship is a bit complicated and I think there is a lot hidden which I’m not allowed to see beyond it if that makes sense… So, bear with me, I will try my best to interpret this.

Your s*xual energy in this relationship here is represented by the firefly which is in the air element. Your energy is radiant, awestriking and perhaps inspiring for anyone who comes in contact with you in that way (especially for your s/o). It’s like you're on a high frequency when you’re in a s*xual mood. You have this pure but also fleeting charm to you. You’re the type that harnesses this energy and I think -if you’re some kind of artist- this energy might even give you major inspiration for your creations. But it can also mean that you’re very creative in bed. It never gets boring with you - you’re very exciting. I think that s*xual activities give you energy and help you when you’re exhausted/burned out or when life just feels dull. It gives you that mental and emotional stimuli. If we look at how your s/o sees you in a s*xual sense, I can sense that they see you as someone pure, precious, and cute even but also very elusive - I just heard "you’re all I can see"… You have a very youthful energy and you exude this aura of innocence and wonder, you’re always curious and kinda quirky - and they love this about you. You might have a good balance of masculine and feminine traits, you could have an androgynous appearance or perhaps it’s just your body language and mannerism because in their eyes you’re not only innocent and cute but also very assertive, daring and active (in bed). They love how curious and open minded you are and that you’re willing to try out so many things and to experiment freely without judging someone. Perhaps they just love that they feel so accepted for who they are and what they desire by you. It’s like you allow them to get to know themselves better and help them accepting all this parts but at the same time there is some distance between you… It feels like it’s mainly coming from you though…. Uhh I just heard "You give me life, you’re my everything and I’m all yours…so why does it seem like you’re distancing yourself more and more from me? What do I have to do to make you mine? Tell me, I beg you… I’m losing my mind." damn… pile three someone is down bad for you here and you let them hang like this? 👀

Well, we’ll get back to that later. Let’s focus first on your s/o. They are kinda eccentric, perhaps even weird? They probably have big or very deep eyes and an alluring gaze - especially when they are in a s*xual mood. They see and notice everything - they gaze at you so very intensely as if they want to ingrain everything into their memory. They have a great imagination and they are also kinda young at heart. So, perhaps they are also a bit child-like with an undying curiosity about literally everything (similar to you) when you get to know them more deeply. Being in their company is a true delight and it opens minds, their magic is contagious… I wanna even say their magic in bed is contagious haha. They are able to make you dream and bring you to faraway lands .. or perhaps to heaven? Your s/o might have a big personality, they are a worldly and well cultured person. They could even dress very well (and sensually). They are someone who needs adventure and art. They want to create art in bed, visuals are quite important to them and they love all kinds of pleasure.  

From what I can see, you perceive them as quite bold and daring, someone who takes risks without much fear, someone who knows how to have fun with life. They might be the one who usually takes the initiative because they always go after what they want and work hard to get it. They are as creative as you but they are very strong in their masculine energy especially in s*xual matters. They are an extremely passionate and sensual lover. They have a nice healthy body and a lot of vitality and stamina😌. They could be spiritual or just very intuitive with how they proceed in s*xual matters. Well, they are for sure very health-conscious or are just quite keen on self care (including working out!). They are very intune with their body and know how to move it correctly. Their dominant love language might be physical touch, they are always very dynamic - for sure it never gets boring because they always have this fresh and exciting energy to them. Everytime you do it, you might see new sides of them that you’ve never seen before. They are just very good at making your love life exciting and unforgettable. I can see that you guys have great chemistry and there is a lot of passion for each other.

You’re s/o is someone who requires constant mental and emotional stimulation because they get quickly bored or rather restless. That’s also why they are easily drawn to exciting or intriguing situations and people - and you have all their attention for sure! You’re s/o is naturally very charming and charismatic, they have a warm and good sense of humor which might show itself even while you're sleeping with each other. They are very secure in their masculinity/femininity, so it’s no problem for them to explore ‘the other side’. They are very good at leading others and I even wanna say they are good at giving instructions as well as they can also be pretty assertive. They are definitely big on body positivity!! (so no worries here pile three ♡). Even though they appreciate beauty, ultimately they choose their partners based on their inner beauty. They are always highly motivated yet very humble and understanding. ... Mhm I get so much information here about how your s/o is as a person with all their "good" qualities instead of s*xual stuff.. I get the feeling that they want me to convince you that you can trust them… perhaps you do not feel very comfortable (yet) with such topics and that’s why your s/o would like to talk more about you guys in a non-s*xual way. So, sorry for the lack of naughty stuff if you were excited for it lmao, I will try to add some information at the end of the reading!

Let’s get back to your s/o because they want to shine lol. They are very mature and always working hard on improving themselves. They don’t give up easily and they would never give up on you! They love to work hard but they also love to play hard. I can sense that even in your eyes they seem very special to you. They have this sun king/queen vibe to them, they are easily the center of attention. Their social skills are no joke, they are good conversationalists and active listeners and they know exactly how to make someone feel special. It seems even you think they are good in bed😏 and they also seem very passionate about the things you care about. I just got this vibe of them getting super jaded, pouty or vain when they feel deprived of your presence. You’re always on their mind. 

You s/o can see that you’re overly generous almost to your detriment at times which leaves you out of balance. It might not be very apparent to others but it is to your s/o. They watch you closely and they often worry about you. They have never seen someone like you - you intrigue them so freaking much. You’re so mysterious to them. In their eyes, you don’t really seem to be the relationship type…you seem like someone who values materialism over relationships. You might in fact actually be quite insecure but you try to conceal this with your facade… like you try to appear eager for power and control, stingy and closed off, as if you’re not generous with your time and money etc. They think you kinda have a wrapped sense of what a relationship should be like. I’m a bit confused here but there seems to be a theme of you sometimes taking advantage of them and enjoying using them financially, emotionally or sexually and that you love dumping your problems on them but never are available when they need a listening ear …and it turns them on? Ehm… I don't know how true this is but they are partly annoyed by this behavior but also love it at the same time? It seems like your s/o kinda likes to suffer… are they a secret masochist? Anyways, there is some manipulation going on in your relationship… Perhaps it’s a thing for you to play mind games in bed😂. Eitherway, I can see that there might be some struggles with balance and boundaries in your (s*xual) relationship. To be honest, there are a lot of hints that you might try out and like activities that are rather extreme or perhaps even ‘taboo’ (ofc only once you’re comfortable enough with each other).

I can see that your relationship is a journey and you will both grow a lot while being together. The thing is .. you're so similar and you often mirror each other. All the issues that come up in your relationship might be issues that you face yourself within you. So you get confronted with the problems you’ve ignored before. It’s a very transformative and perhaps even spiritual connection. You know, the more you accept and allow your partner to be, the more you do so for yourself. It's a process and it’s something you will probably have to learn because I see you specifically being very good at ignoring your problems and letting them build over time. But I can tell you already that the work you'll put into this relationship will be worth it, you both will reach peaceful times where all your stress just fades away, like on cloud nine. Traveling together or settling down somewhere else might be a theme in your relationship!

I don’t know if you believe in soulmates or whatever but I got the feeling that your s/o subconsciously believes that you guys are soulmates of some sort or that you share a strong past/connection with each other. At the time of your relationship, your s/o might really want you to express yourself more and they are thinking a lot about how they could encourage you. Another thing is that your s/o sometimes feels that there is a lack of commitment to the relationship on your part (it could also be the other way around but I believe more so that your s/o has these worries about you). They kinda have the feeling you are blocking them out and are not letting them get closer to your heart… like they feel like you’re showing a facade to them and not your real self. But it seems like your s/o knows how you truly are because they are so perceptive. Perhaps they feel annoyed by the fact that you keep this facade up even though it’s unnecessary - ‘Why don’t you trust me?🙁’.�� I’m not sure how to explain it exactly but there seems to be a blockage in your s*xual relationship. So, I assume that it will take a long time until you start doing something s*xual with each other. In the cards I got in this reading, most characters have their eyes closed or lock away/avoid eye contact. The only card where the eyes are open is the main card representing your s/o's s*xual energy and it’s with a deep gaze. I don’t exactly know why but you keep your eyes closed (metaphorically) and it also influences how you perceive your s/o because they also have their eyes closed in your perception of them but the truth is that they have their eyes wide open … you’re just not aware of it. Perhaps you should ask yourself what is it that you’re avoiding or that you don’t want to see? Do you fear intimacy? Maybe this is about you having to learn to face yourself and your issues and to not run away from them. Overall, I would say that it is important to improve the communication and the harmony/power imbalance in this relationship and for you to learn how to be more comfortable with revealing yourself and being closely perceived and accepted by someone you have feelings for. Also, this is really random because I don’t usually add songs to my piles but while I was writing the last part the song ‘GEMINI’ by Ethan Low came on and I feel like it might be important? ...like the lyrics seem kinda fitting, so try checking them out! Oh and on a side note, the color yellow and the month april could hold a special meaning too. I also have some advice for your pile three: ‘Pull through!’ and ‘Not everything always has to go according to a plan. Sometimes it is good when things happen differently - take it as it resonates!

🔞‼️ Other things I can pick up on that are partly more explicit (not for everyone probably and perhaps only once you guys feel more comfortable with each other): 

If you are more the sporty type or have more broad shoulders they find this attractive as well as your upper arms + your legs, when you’re refusing to look their way it gets their gears running lol, also when you act ignorant or detached and when you seem to be in your own world - that turns them on, you stepping on their heart/love🔥, you both playing mind games with each other, when you’re far away from them it makes them super restless and needy, they like admiring you and embracing you (sexually and non sexually), they enjoy rubbing your tummy or caressing your hair, they might like seeing your sleep or watching you while you’re focused on something else, they just adore you, they like everything about your body, they make you feel very secure and protected, they may be good at talking dirty or charming you with their words, one or both of you could be into degrading, manipulating each other into doing things, slowly crossing boundaries (but with mutual consent i guess? I’m not sure about this but it could be like -safely- playing out scenes where you cross each other boundaries if that makes sense…i don’t rly wanna say it but something like ‘r*pe play’ perhaps but idk), they might get to a point where they idolize you and worship you like a god/goddess lmao.. kinda fanatic but you’re like an illuminating light in their life (why are they being like this😂), one or both of you could write poems/songs or make drawings to express you desire for each other because there is so much creative energy, daring and risky s*x, situations where being caught in the act is a possibility, you guys becoming more and more brave, knife play and bondage play, doing it outside/at public places or in different countries, being somehow seen/perceived/heard by other people, unique and sexual clothes and accessories (leather, latex…), sneaky behavior (mainly on your side), videos/filming, ...

you convincing them to try out new ideas is a big turn on for them, you’re super exciting to them, they love how you embody this effortlessness.. you’re like trendsetter or pioneer in their eyes, you being unique and daring with your style is super attractive to them, fast paced s*x and quickies, both of you are always very active (mentally and physically) during the act, domination of each other, lots of toys, perhaps more people involved in the act - maybe something like open relationship or polyamory or threesome etc., provocations here and there, selfishness and arrogance (acted out), lots of passion in this relationship, you both feel this sense of restlessness when you’re not together or when you’re near each other but are unable to act on your desires (like in public), when you’re doing it you’re so immersed in each other and in the pleasure that you kinda lose focus and just act on instincts only, you both can get very impulsive, doing it until burnout is surely a thing here, no planning no direction just following your instincts, disregarding consequences, unpredictability, dirty talk (degrading) probably coming from them because they are so good with words😉, changing positions often, rapid pace, kinda dangerous s*x?,  make up s*x after a fight/argument, confidence (even if fake), aggressive movements, inferiority complex, riling each other up verbally, spanking, grabbing hair or holding someone by their hair, doing it through the backdoor (iykwim), s*exual activities that could be considered taboo or even offensive, them wanting to conquer you, they like it when your chest is revealed, you guys might sometimes have conflicting thoughts in your mind, there could be some dishonesty or trust issues (just emotionally! - there is no sign of cheating here), many temptation, some kind of imbalance- feelings don’t SEEM mutual (even if it is mutual) -> one is obsessed and the other sees them just a casual lover or something, there is a need for improving the communication between you two and there is a bit of baggage to work through (feelings wise), it might sometimes seem like you lead them on and that you’re not honest with them🙃, apathy and detachment is kinda a turn on, strong yearning for each other on different levels (emotionally, physically, mentally…), materialism, imaginary security, humiliation, orga*m delays, resistance (acting), distracting each other from issues with s*xual activities, playing into each other’s fantasies. 

#shifting #shiftblr #pick a card #loassumption #pick a picture #pick a pile #shifting realities #pac reading #desired reality #reality shifter #shifting community #your dr s/o #free tarot reading #18+ readings #18+ content

[awakefor48hours]

The Maribug Fic -- Rewritten

[Fanfiction.net] || [AO3]

[Chapter 2 >]

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Relationship: Maribug/Ladynette Tags: Crack fic, No beta, I will update this every time someone asks Characters: Marinette Dupain Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Cat Noir (more to be added later) No warnings

Summary: Cat Noir asks Ladybug an important but difficult question to answer. So she tells him a ridiculous lie. What's the worst that could happen?

Woohoo, I'm stable enough to write this. If you don't know, last year, I tried to write a Maribug fic but I was fighting some of the worst depression in my life and I could tell the fanfiction was suffering because of that. But I'm better now. Also, this is going to take place at the same time as the original fanfiction (a little before Kwami's Choice special and a little after Elation). Now without further, onto the crack.

Cat Noir and Ladybug were sitting on a roof of a building watching the sunset after spending the day on patrol. Fortunately, there wasn't much disturbance today. Just a few kittens stuck in trees.

"I wish patrol was like this every day, M'Lady." Cat Noir commented.

"I do too but as we both know, that unrealistic." She then stood up about to leave only for Cat Noir to stop her.

"Before you go, M'Lady, can I ask you a question?"

She turned to face him and just said "yeah, sure, go ahead."

"Okay, so I've been wondering... why have you only given a Miraculous to Marinette Dupain Cheng once?"

Other than being Multimouse, technically speaking... she has given a Miraculous to Marinette Dupain Cheng. In fact, she's given a lot of Miraculouses to Marinette Dupain Cheng. But of course he wouldn't know that.

"Cat, don't you remember? I can't give a Miraculous to Marinette Dupain Cheng. We both know her identity!"

Cat Noir scratched the back of his head. "I know about that but this isn't the first time we've both known the identity of a holder. We both know Ryuko's identity, Bunnyx's identity, Pegasus's identity." Why did he have to make good arguments now? "In fact, when you gave Chloe the Bee Miraculous, the whole world knew her identity. Not to mention, along with being a great a holder of the Mouse Miraculous, she's one of the few people in Paris who still hasn't been akumatized." Not an easy task. "It's also doesn't hurt that her parents have the best bakery in all of Paris. So, I just don't understand why you gave her the Mouse Miraculous once."

She had to think of something to say but it was really hard. She wasn't expecting questions like this and he made some damn good points.

Think Marinette, think! What is a totally believable reason for not giving herself a Miraculous without blowing her identity?

"I, uh, have a crush on Marinette."

Was it too late to reveal her identity?

"You do!?" Cat Noir sat up in surprise but also... intrigue.

"Yeah... I... have... a... crush on... Marinette Dupain Cheng." What is she even saying? "So in order to stop myself from getting distracted on the job, I just... I just haven't given her another Miraculous."

She could see the gears turning in Cat Noir's head. He probably already saw through her lie. "That's actually a great decision!" Or maybe he didn't see through her lie. "You're already losing your composure just thinking about her."

"Yeah... I sure am!" She started gesturing wildly. "If I think about Marinette for too long, a villain could definitely take my Miraculous easily. So it's best that I just don't get distracted."

Cat Noir stood up and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You made such a great choice."

Ladybug laughed lightly. "You're, uh, not gonna tell anyone about this, right?"

Cat Noir took a step back and bowed at her. "Not even if the most heinous akuma tries to torture it out of me."

"Gooooood." She was thankful for that at least.

"I'll see you around, Ladybug." Was the last thing Cat Noir said to her before using his pole to catapult himself into the air, leaving Ladybug alone.

She watched him for a few moments before heading home herself. When dropped into her room, she detransformed and reality finally caught up to her and it hit her like a truck.

"AAAAA!" She screamed, then started her head against the wall. "I TOLD CAT NOIR I HAVE A CRUSH ON... MYSELF!"

She then tightly grabbed her hair, almost to the point of pulling it out. "This is a disaster! A disaster! A disaster! A DISASTER!"

Tikki flew to her eye level. "Calm down, Marinette. It's not the end of the world."

Marinette now focused on Tikki. "It might as well be! I already blew my chance at being with Adrien and now I just my chance at being with Cat Noir! I'M SO LAME!"

So glad I took that break because I'm already loving this rewrite more. (Also like my Adrichat fic, new chapter comes out when someone asks for it)

#when my people stop attacking my wife (ao3) i'll post this there #my fanfiction #selfcest #ladynette #maribug #marinette dupain cheng #chat noir #cat noir

[kwilooo]

Incoming long vent-ish post

This song kind of represents how I feel at the moment. With life. Everything’s gone to shit. Between the Ukraine and Gaza wars, kosa, and my family going through a rough time financially and mentally, I just can’t really get a grip on reality.

I can’t help but feel this constant feeling of anxiety in my stomach, with the stress of hours of homework, keeping up my grades, class registration, dealing with my family, my friends, and just the world in general, it all keeps me awake at night and I’ve been getting so little sleep. It’s really starting to affect me just in everyday life.

Speaking of everyday life, what has it gotten to? It seems like nobody has any fucking empathy left. My faith in humanity—while never being very highly to start with—is almost zero at this point.

Kosa -

I’m sorry if I’ve been talking about it a ton, but if this bill passes and we lose our access to platforms such as this, I, and many other minors, will lose places where we can have some sort of stable ground—where we can gain any sort of grip on reality.

To be truthful, I’m not entirely sure of exactly what this bill proposes and what it may do, and I’m really going off of rumors. I know that rumors are not trustworthy, but I do know that this bill is unconstitutional and violates our rights.

-

I’m running out of time, I’m running and my time’s up…

I truly feel like this. I feel hopeless. Limp. Like I can do anything but help. There is nothing I can do, truthfully. As a kid, there isn’t anything you can do to help. Whether it’s because of strict or overprotective parents, or just because nobody will believe you.

They don’t listen to you when you’re young. They think you know absolutely nothing. They think we’re dumb. They think everything they think they know is correct. In reality, they have no clue what we’re experiencing and what we need. Both parents and the government.

This has been a problem for years. We as a generation have been speaking out against so many things for years, but we were never heard. Climate change, genocide, etc. We were never listened to because we’re “too young to know anything”

“Kids these days”

Adults say that in recent times, kids spend more time online or inside than outside. This is true statistically, but there are more reasons for it than we are “addicted to those damn screens”

A lot of the reason is that due to current events such as the wars, politics, disease, and just society overall, kids (I’d say currently between the ages of 10-16) have been forced to grow up a lot faster. I know that there have obviously been worse times to be a kid, but in the last few decades, this is it.

We’ve grown up through the COVID pandemic, where everything was online. This also gave us more exposure to media and rising stars who gained popularity over social media.

And that’s another reason; our generation (Z-alpha but mainly the younger part of gen Z) has grown up with a lot more disposable media in their hands. Much of this disposable media is how influencers gained their popularity. A lot of kids strive to be like them because they want to have popularity to feel that little twinge of excitement to have attention.

With all the current events, much of adults focus have been on those and how to give themselves and their kids the best life, which then in return gives the kid little attention. A lot of minors crave attention and an audience, so they create an online presence for themselves that can hopefully help them gain that audience. That’s another reason for being on screens.

Lastly, with the rise of social and disposable media, comes the inevitable effect of image. People who show off their body could create dysmorphia in teens and kids. People who show their life and travel could create a sense of inferiority for kids with families that maybe can’t afford to travel as much.

All of this then leads to declining mental health, also attributed to comments that might be made by other kids about a hobby one might have. Or maybe about the clothes they’re wearing, the color their skin is, their heritage, their opinions.

This is why the US is so fucking corrupted. Nobody has empathy or sympathy. Nobody cares about anyone else’s views. Nobody ever stops to think about how their actions or words might affect others. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s a real and important thing to realize.

Kids and teens these days need help, we need attention, we need support, we need to be stable.

We don’t need censorship, we don’t need war, all we ask for is awareness and peace.

Stop the war in Ukraine.

Stop the war in Gaza.

Stop Kosa.

Control climate change.

That is all we ask.

And with Kosa; if the rumors really are true, I want to thank everyone for making this platform an escape for me. I want to thank everyone for their amazing ideas and artwork and writing and awareness posts. I love you all so much.

I’m not going to tag anyone as this is quite a serious and personal post, but specific thank yous to my tumblr best friends, Alex, Doli, Nat, Panna (I believe?), Hibi, Lizzy, Jami, and Sophie. If you see this I’m sure you’ll know who you are ❤️

I’ve connected with some of you little, some quite a lot, some for a long time, and some for short, but I assure you that all of you have changed my life for the better.

This post has taken me two hours to write, so I hope it can do something for someone.

Thank you.

#personal #internet freedom

[aclosetfan]

Hellooo, here I am again, after all, you said I could bother you all I want with my random trivia that I have in the middle of the night so I will 😃 (Stop encouraging me if you don't I take it seriously and I won't stop anymore)

Just for the record, I read the fics and loved every one of them. Unfortunately I made up reading The Notion of Loss and re-read Till death do us part for the tenth time (that damn ending always kills me, you will pay for every tear shed 😡) that same night with a heart-wrenching soundtrack and it was the holy trinity that I I could sleep covered in my tears tonight. I force myself to suffer, I know, but... If I don't, who will? 😔

My question for today is something I'm pretty sure you've been asked before, but it doesn't hurt to try, does it? Could you talk about some of your favorite headcanons for a specific character or in general? (And if something has already been discussed here, could you name others, please?🥲) I know it's something that's already been used, but I really like it when the fandom comes together to believe in something collectively in a way that feels like the cartoon itself has already confirmed (CN would never give us that satisfaction, so what we have left is to hunt for our own survival)

By the way, what you said about not being able to leave the fandom is something that I think is very real to almost everyone inside. I really use the community as a place of comfort to hide from real life problems or even spend hours looking at random things like trivia or fan headcanons (Main reason for asking) and I think now I couldn't get out of something that it's already become a routine for me in some way, or even watching random videos and never remembering my comfort characters again, but anyway, just any outburst from someone who is going through a similar situation! 😊

About the new job and the delays...don't worry so much, we all take our time to adjust and for some it may take longer than for others! I think adapting is part of growing up and maturing and I know that there will come a time when you will feel stable enough to be able to focus your head on interesting new stories and plots, or writing bit by bit, I don't really know, I just know that with time everything will settle down and I'm sure that when you release a story or one-short again it will be amazing just because of your writing and plot that never disappoints. Well that was it, take your time, however long it is, and your 'comeback' in writing when you feel up to writing again and I will definitely be here to read everything from my favorite writer in the community!!!💗

Notes :

-Slightly jaded speech, I know, but I really hope that some of this text makes you feel somehow better ♡

-I know I write a lot, it's just that I get a little overexcited having someone to respond to the idiotic questions of the hysterical teenager that lives inside me 😔

- Any mistakes are just a coincidence that I know almost nothing of this language 😀 (If it's not readable I'll cry)

- The emoji thing was real.

aw thank you :))) your continued confidence in me is so kind. I hope I find time to write something soon. Anything, really! I miss writing and want to continue practicing. Also, I'm super happy that you read the fic recommendations. There are some crazy talented people in this fandom who have taken the time to write incredible stories. There are a thousand more out there, and I know some people I follow collect lists of fics, so if you want more, I'd sneak a look at some people's pinned posts. Pinned posts are sometimes the only way I find fics haha

To you're actual question, I have a lot of headcanons throughout my blog. Some are tagged, and some are not. Honestly, I couldn't remember my headcanon tags now! For the sake of not repeating myself too much, I'll give you three h/cs for the three girls :)

Bloss:

Follows rules until she no longer agrees with the rules, and then she makes new ones. Despite what people may think, Blossom isn't so caught up in the technicalities of right and wrong. She doesn't think black and white but is morally gray. She knows what right is, and she does what she needs to do to accomplish it, and sometimes that means choosing the lesser of the two evils and breaking a few rules.

Related to the top one, she has classic leader-martyr syndrome, but as she gets older, she burns out. I think it would be interesting if once she burns out, instead of quitting, she falls to second-in-command and pushes Buttercup to take over, but eventually has to take it back because of her ability to make hard sacrifices that BC lacks, and they both know it. Compared to Blossom, Buttercup is too overly-protective to make hard decisions.

Bad cheesy jokes and puns. She is not funny. No one thinks she's funny. She thinks she is, though, and believes her pep talks can move mountains (they cannot).

Butters:

Like I said, overly protective. When Blossom plays martyr, BC's there to catch her. Her over-protectiveness/toughness leads people to think she's intimidating and standoffish, but in truth, she's also the shyest sister. So, it's hard for her to make friends, but once she's your friend, you've got a ride-or-die for life. Despite how often she complains about things/people, she doesn't give up on others.

I also love her as a classic dude-bro. She loves watching sports, tracking sports statistics, and playing them. I don't think she'd be able to play on teams with normal humans, but given how many mutants pop up in Townsville, I headcanon there are superpowered teams, and she's in at least three of them. Idk which sports exactly, but 100% of the time, one of them is Roller derby.

In the show, she was prone to acts of aggression. I'd like to believe that when she grows up, she's mellowed out a great deal, but she's not at all cool like she hopes she is. If you're her friend, she's nosy, loud, and 100% in your business. If a doorknob pulls out her earbuds, she's 100% punching a hole in the door. Like, she's mellowed out, but she's "spice" for a reason.

Bubbles:

Blossom and Buttercup have 99 problems, and Bubbles is the cause of all of them :)) <3 she's a whirlwind of chaos and is always involved in some kind of shenanigans, which her sisters inevitably have to clean up. For all the problems she causes, she creates an equal amount of solutions. Things tend to work out for her. (I usually h/c Boomer as the same, but shit doesn't work out as well for him).

Her love life is dismal. There isn't much else to say. She's a girl who very much wants to fall in love, but she is not lucky with it. She doesn't understand that Blossom and Buttercup scare off 99.9% of all suitors. Down the line, this is a problem because she begins to think she's the problem, so Blossom and Buttercup have to bully people into dating her.

A nature nut, a cheerleader, a seamstress, a dog walker, a pet talker, and a lawncare enthusiast, she'd definitely be the jack of all trades in the family. She has more hobbies than she could ever keep up with, but she does just fine. Blossom might seem like the busy one, but Bubbles is more so. Unfortunately, unlike Blossom, she's horrible at keeping organized. Given all her odd skill sets, out of the three sisters, she's the most eccentric (and superstitious, but that's another h/c lol).

I hope these spark some interest!! I feel like these are pretty in line with my prior h/cs. I don't deviate from my characterizations of them often lolol

#anon asks #thank you thank you thank you 🙏 #anon if you have a prompt/request for a short one shot #lemme kno #maybe that'd get me back into writing things! #who knows worth a shot tho right? #long post

[matbaynton]

tagged by @baynton thank you!! 💙

8 shows to get to know me better

1. BBC GHOSTS

copying nat here to say that this is also where the mat obsession started 😈 my friend hallie (who i will also be tagging to do this obviously) got me into it and i cannot thank them enough for giving me the brainrot! i've watched this show.... idk how many times now i'm constantly rewatching it but i still laugh (and/or cry) every time. don't think i needed to know how absolutely FERAL and UNHINGED and RABID i was capable of being, i swear i was normal before i saw thomas thorne. i WAS, and no one can disprove that so just believe me 🤡 he is my sopping wet babygirl pathetic chewtoy and i love him.... so much..... and i want to d*e on the button house property and become a ghost more than anything in the whole world. anyway this show is fantastic and it changed my life and there isn't a single bad main character!

2. STRANGER THINGS

not sure if it's because i watched this show the year it came out (and on the night before/night of my 18th birthday, so it ended up being the best birthday i've had in years which is. still true lmao) but it continues to hold such a special place in my heart, and i can't truly explain why. gonna be honest seeing that winona ryder was in it immediately made me want to watch (and i love joyce byers + jopper a normal amount) i'm also really into horror and gross shit and this show really delivers on that sometimes, it's fantastic 🫡

3. THE OWL HOUSE

i don't think i can talk about this show for too long without crying lmao, but for a silly starter: THERE IS SO MUCH GOD DAMN FUCKING PURPLE IN THIS SHOW IT IS VERY PLEASING TO MY EYEBALLS!!!!! i'm a huge blubbering baby when it comes to the found family trope and this show has that! not to mention the incredible lgbt+ rep that truly shocked me to my core. i've also never related to a fictional character more than luz noceda, it's almost unsettling. still haven't watched the finale because i'm in denial about it being over and fuck disney channel for cancelling it.

4. DOCTOR WHO

besides glee and pretty little liars (that i'm surprisingly not putting on this list for reasons) this was one of the first real tv shows i've gotten into. my friend and i stumbled upon it on netflix (back in the ancient times of the early 2010's) she wasn't into it AT ALL but when i went home i immediately started watching the rest of it. i love all of the doctors/companions/eras in so many different ways, and every time i rewatch this show it feels like home <3

5. YONDERLAND

99% of the characters in this show are complete dumbasses and i'm truly here for it,. also seeing mat as so many different freaky sexy characters fixed me made me worse. HOWEVER.... the felt puppets still strike fear into my heart, i've gotten somewhat used to it but i still want to scream and poop my pants whenever i see them.

6. COMMUNITY

as we've established i'm a fan of the found family trope (even the FUCKED UP PROBABLY MENTALLY BAD FOR EACH OTHER kind of found family) besides how funny this show is (and how much i love troy and abed AND WANT WHAT THEY HAVE MORE THAN ANYTHING) it was also the first time i interpreted autism portrayed in a somewhat better way than i had ever seen before on television (of course abed being autistic isn't technically canon, hence "interpreted") but i really appreciated it and the fact that he IS canonically the most mentally stable in the group is incredible and i love it. will NEVER forgive them for making a felt puppet episode though, it haunts my nightmares.

7. SANTA CLARITA DIET

drew barrymore plays a zombie milf and timothy olyphant plays her hot husband who helps her kill shitty people to eat. wtf else do i need to say? it's a masterpiece and i wake up every day hating netflix for cancelling it

8. TOO MANY SPIRITS

YEAH THIS IS A SHOW! I'M COUNTING IT AS A SHOW! i knew i was going to put at least one watcher show on this list because i love these idiots so dearly. i chose too many spirits because the amount of times i've almost (😐) pissed myself from laughter watching these morons get drunk and tell stupid stories is TOO MANY..... spirits! like the name of the show! too many! too many times 🤡 anyway

tagging (no pressure to do it!) @larryrickard @reysorigins @softdavidrose @karura @captainsjack @jugheadscrowns @bejeweledantihero @hannamarins

[wyverian-lady525]

THE ONESHOT FROM MY REQUEST WAS LITERALLY SJJDJHWSBAMAMD😭💞💞 THANK YOUU, YOU DID SUCH A WONDERFUL JOB TOO, THE ACCURACY OF THEIR CHARACTERS IS SO MWAH MWAH~!! I'm not even kidding when I say that I needed a ten minute water break to have a crisis when I saw the notification, requests actually being accepted really do be hitting differently to be honest

Buuut after reading it for the millionth time, finally gotten my damn courage back to both thank you for the lovely written story =) thooo... If you're maaybe open for doing a version for Sasuke Cheval as well👉🏻👈🏻 I mean, I won't say no( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Do definitely believe the scenario should be changed up a little though, as I'm pretty sure if he was in Hyoro’s place on that exact moment he'd legit just be like “oh no! Anyways, anyone want some kebab on a horn?” His current emo ass being so rude it ain't even funny😭

BUT, (un)lucky for you. I have about another hundred good ol' ideas in stock👍🏻 (Shh, it's ok to block me). So maybe instead of when they were trying to slaughter Ratha, it could take place right before Versa Pietru was about to be controlled by the Black Blight?

Once again, the reader is hella worried about Cheval and the last pinch of sanity left in him, they try convincing him but surprise surprise, he's too far gone bla blabla😒 they try getting him down to properly talk to him by force, but because of the pure rage he felt he willingly commands Versa Pietru to attack them causing fatal damage (Don't you just hate it when a Titanic sized dragon bites down on you like a chewtoy). Though considering when Rathi endured that hit for him, his mind finally became stable enough to understand that whatever he was doing was absolute bullshi- OKAYOKAY SORRY I'LL STOP NOW. Though now he'd also start to properly realise that he put the reader's actual life at major risk...

Ooo nice idea! Don't worry, you're no bother!😁 I love this, and I hope you enjoy! I know I always love when a request is fulfilled! Apologies too if this isn’t what you had in mind...I’ve been forgetting certain parts of the show

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Dread Before the Dawn

You try to get through to Cheval one last time before the darkness swallows him up forever. It doesn’t end as well as you thought.

“What would your mother say?” You shouted at your friend, who’s been consumed by hatred and rage.

Right now, you and your monstie were on top of Mt. Celion facing Cheval and the White Dragon. You didn’t understand how Versa Pietru could forge a bond with him after how much of an embodiment of strife he’s become. Your other companions were still struggling to catch up, so right now, it was just you and him. 

“Don’t talk about my mother!” He yelled at you, an angsty purple glow coming from that kinship stone he had. The White Dragon hissed as well, causing your monstie to growl in retaliation. 

“Can’t you see what you’re doing is wrong! Forcing that monster into this!” You pointed an accusing finger at the White Dragon, feeling a mix of rage and sadness when it came to this situation. You wanted to reason with the last pinch of sanity in Cheval, but you were worried he was too far gone.

“You wouldn’t understand! You never even tried! I’ve lost everything...this is my chance to take it all back!” He shouted at you, pure rage in his voice. You could clearly see now that all reason was thrown out the window. His heart has been consumed by revenge.

However, you still wanted to do everything in your power to save him.

“But that’s not how it works! This isn’t the way!” You shouted back at him, and he simply glared.

“It’s the only way I know that’s left...now get out of my way.” Cheval growled lowly, Versa Pietru flapped its wings aggressively and took to the air, glowering down at you and your monstie. You narrowed your eyes at him, heart beating rapidly.

“If you won’t listen to me...then I have no choice, Cheval.” You said while mounting your monstie, who snarled. You didn’t want it to come down to force, but it seems the boy you once knew was officially gone.

And there’s no changing that, but you made a mental promise to his mother to bring him home, no matter what.

You had your monstie charge at him, baring its fangs. You just had to get him off that monster, bring him down to your level. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes when you saw the actual hatred in Cheval’s once familiar and calming eyes. 

However, his pure rage made him do something that you didn’t see coming, although you should have.

He willingly commanded Versa Pietru to attack you. Because of this so-called bond that they had formed, the White Dragon obeyed his command. The strength and might of this elder dragon of exotic origin caught your monstie off guard. In truth, your monstie was no match. 

The little bit of success that you had in your mind faded in a blur of white.

You felt the titan jaws of Versa Pietru bite on your shoulder. The saddle of your monstie soon vanished beneath you as you were now high above the ground. However, you could hardly comprehend that due to the high stench of blood and intense pain.

Your body was soon flung into a crumbling relic not too far away, cushioned by the velvety snow.

That was soon stained by blood.

“I told you to stay out of my way...” You faintly heard as your monstie rushed to your side. However, you soon heard your heartbeat in your ears as the organ worked desperately to keep you alive. Your monstie curled around you, trying to warm you as much as possible.

The rest of what happened was a blur to you.

Your friends and allies showed up to face Cheval, who still seems to haven’t cared about nearly ending your life. Again, there was another showdown to try and reason with him that didn’t work. That seemed to be the last straw with Cheval’s false kinship. 

The White Dragon turned into the Black Dread.

As much as Cheval pleaded that he felt a bond, that his path was the right one, the now tainted elder dragon didn’t seem to care. An attack blew off his kinship stone, and Cheval went flying towards the cliff’s edge. And as your vision began to grow bleary and fade, you witnessed a flash a green shield Cheval from another devastating blow.

His screams were all you heard as you finally passed out...

When Cheval came to, he realized that his beloved rathian had come to save him. It was like a veil had finally lifted from his clouded vision. The darkness of his heart had been pushed away by the light of his monstie, and his beloved friends who tried to help him to begin with.

“Rathi...I’m sorry...” He said while moving to place a hand on the rathian’s snout, worried that she had taken her last breath in her efforts to save him. However, just as tears pricked the corners of his eyes, he heard a low growl.

Rathi’s yellow pained eyes were looking up at him.

“Oh Rathi...I’m so sorry...” Cheval said again, fully crying this time as he noticed the chipped spikes on her right wing. He bent down to give her a makeshift hug, grateful that despite it all, she came back to save him.

And then it hit him that she wasn’t the only one.

“Y/N...Y/N!” Cheval shouted out your name, sounding distraught. He knew you couldn’t hear him, not from where he was. It all came to him that he put your life in so much risk. The life of someone who meant so much to him, that only wanted to help him.

By the time Lilia found him, he was a puddle of tears and despair. 

Cheval wanted to find you and apologize immediately, even knowing it wouldn’t make up fro what happened. However, he has finally come to his senses, and realized the danger you were in.

That was his fault.

“Y/N...please be alive...I’m so sorry...” He muttered to himself as Rathi nudged him a bit. The real Cheval had finally returned. The gentle and caring boy that you had come to know and love was finally brought back to you.

Will you live to see him again?

That’s up for you to decide.

#monster hunter stories #monster hunter stories 2 #mhst #mhst2 #cheval #monster hunter stories cheval #cheval x reader #mhst2 cheval

[seventenseven]

Has it ever occurred to you, Zev Endix Evan, how strange it is that your name mimics a phrase from the Stanley Parable? A project supposedly made by the company you work for? “Zev Endix Evan”. What a name! Who would name their kid that, Hm? I’ll tell you who! A company making a joke at your expense. And you don’t even know it!

Isn’t it just a little strange? How compliant you are to this company? For years. Yes, you like it, sure- but what normal human being likes what you’ve been doing? Who’s to say they didn’t just make their perfect employee? Can you really trust your memories, here? Look at what they did to 427 and his (ex) handler. They didn’t remember a damn thing. Which means the company is clearly capable of messing with your brain.

So what does that make you, Mr. “The End Is Never”? And don’t try to tell me it isn’t likely. Haven’t you ever wondered why people at this company are so prone to madness?

[ I believe there is a much more obvious connection with my name that it seems you've looked over. Shameful. It would've made your point much stronger than just pulling at strings hoping one is connected.

It's very interesting you assume I don't know that. There's really only two options. Either this was a strange name choice by my parents that led to various ironies in my life, or it's a company made pseudonym along with all my memories, lazily added last minute as if forgotten about until then. Both seem possible.

The issue, and the one you seem to not quite grasp, is that I know this. It does not affect me. You seem that you really want it to, that you want me to break down in hysterics in the middle of the office and start chanting mantras till I've gone incoherent. I'm sorry to say, but I actually have enough decency to not do that. I do not care if my memories are made false.

Is that not interesting? My whole life could be a lie and you want that to cut deeply but it just doesn't. It's because I see the opportunity. If I am fake, I am the most stable fake they have made. Voices and tendencies aside I have never once broken down or questioned the 'why', and that has been rewarded greatly. I have a lovely pay check and I am considered greatly for most tasks I request, and I know why.

It's because I'm good at my job. Whether that job is a follow-up procedure test, or employee training instructions, or even some throwaway tape for the parable project, I get it done and it gets done right. Regardless of if that's because of brainwashing or if I'm just naturally efficient, that's how it is. I am rewarded for it. Let me tell you why.

It's because that is what I am. I am an example. If I am being mind controlled, I am an example of what this company is, what power it holds. If I am not, I am an example of what it could be with the right people in place. It does not matter to me what the answer is. Only my place within it. ]

#(what a lovely end to this saga of asks. hope this has answered some of your questions.) #(or left you with more. whichever is more interesting i guess.) #not employee 77 in the tags

[diegodsthings]

"My mother was a slave, My Mother is sicked and couldn't even work, so, ever since I was old enough to remember, I was working in the black smith shop and stable. My body was always covered in ash, coal, horse manure and was always white or black, they gave me the nickname "Askellad" it means "covered in ash". My Father was a from powerful family from long land, Long land is a Long and grassy islands, My father love booze, woman and killing people, He was a Viking just like does you'd find anywhere else. I heard he had lot of kids like me in random women here and there, but he only named the older kids he had with his legal wife, he probably didn't know what his other kid looks like. I heard my mother was one of my father favorites slaves when she was younger, but after she feel ill, he treated her like a dog, for me life has always been hard, but it was different for my mother, My Mother often told me about the hero, Artorious, one of our ancestors, she told the story many times, The legend was about a general who save my mother’s homeland, from being invaded by savages 500 years ago. my mother believe the legend prophecy that hero would be resurrected, she believed that he would return to free her from illness and enslavement, She kept repeating it so I started to believed it too, She said that "far to the west in a land cross the sea, where ordinary people cannot reach, there's lies paradise where the hero Artorious lives, A paradise where peace, prosperity and eternal life is promised, the hero is still there now, healing his battle wounds, someday he will come leading an army to destroy the savages and conquered the world" my mother’s family was kept waiting for him, they waited for 500 years, The hero is not appeared yet" Askellad laugh and said "Kid just think about it, if our ancestors really living in such a nice place, he'd never choose to comeback in a word like this" Askellad laugh "Damned old man just continue the story" Thorfinn said. Askellad drink and continue the story again "When I was 11 my mother's heart is finally snapped, we are on the black smith shop. Off all the things that could happen she thought that my father who just passing by was the hero Artorious, then my father picks up his sword and going to kill my ill mother. then I realized in an instant, if Artorious was not going to come to save my mother in that moment then he's never going to come, do you understand kid? someone was do it, A person, not a hero, not A god. I pick up a sword and fight my father to save my mother, it's weird I had never used a sword before but it felt suit and comfortable in my hand, I knew how to swing it, I thought of it as proof that I had the blood of that Damned father bastard flowing though my veins. we fight sword to sword and I fell, and he pointed his swords to me and he said "you, are you her child, are you my child?" saying it calmly and I say yes, he said that I have a potential and I'm going to live his place now with my other brother, after living to my father's place all I do is train, how to fight and I become close to my other brothers.”

Page 2

[undeadsnorlax]

OC Questions - Steven

original questions by bananacatlah

How easy is it to make them angry? Do they show their anger or hide it?

He’s a pretty irritable dude. He tries to not get visibly angry because how often it backfires, but sometimes someone says something so awful and ignorant that he can’t help but lose it and flip at them.

Do they believe in soulmates?

Not really. There’s people you were meant to meet and that’s enough for him.

Do they have any pet peeves?

People who wear their shoes inside further than the hallway.

Do they have a happy place? Somewhere they go to in their heads when they need to relax?

His bed, easily. Wrapped up toasty in about twelve blankets? Happiest place ever.

At what stage of their life were they the happiest?

Probably his mid-late 20s (so his ‘current’ age within universe canon). Just because it’s a really good point in his life where he’s becoming a lot more stable and successful.

At what stage of their life were they the least happy?

When he was 19. By far.

At the pub/bar, are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

He can be a cheapskate, so he’s definitely trying to get people to buy him drinks, but he’ll buy a round with his pals.

Have they ever broken any bones? If yes, how?

Despite all his injuries over the years, he somehow hasn’t! Has come very close to breaking his ribs but that didn’t succeed.

Do they have any memories/experiences they’d rather forget?

Oh, for sure. Way too many, actually.

What is their favourite childhood memory?

His first ever comic convention! He was about five and had the best damn time and it shaped him into who he was.

Do they have a ‘type’ they are usually attracted to?

Not really. He does love taller people (not hard, he’s pretty short).

Do they have any favourite possessions?

Many autographs he has from actors, comic creators and authors over the time.

Do they have any tattoos? If no, would they ever consider getting one?

He has two! The Black Mesa logo on his shin and the Goron Tribe symbol on his back.

Do they have any piercings? If no, would they ever consider getting any?

Only the one helix piercing. He has thought about getting just regular ear piercings but never got around to it. Also briefly considered an eyebrow piercing but again just…never got around to it.

What is their dream house like?

Having a cool cinema is definitely in there, and a lush bathroom to relax in.

What is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them?

That he has kids. He doesn’t give off the ‘right vibe’, apparently.

How good are they at choosing gifts for others?

Surprisingly good. He’s usually the guy that gets you something you would never expect but is either based on a silly little joke or something kind of practical.

Do they have a certain skill that they’re particularly proud of?

He can walk backwards really well.

How would a stranger they just met describe them?

“…do you think he’s ever washed that t-shirt?”

How would a close friend they’ve known for a long time describe them?

“My favourite depressed bastard.” – Matt

Do they have any personal insecurities?

Basically everything, in all honesty. He doesn’t like to dwell on it though. Maybe focuses on his voice a little more because he hates how nasally he can sound.

What is their highest physical stat and their highest non-physical stat?

Physically is probably defence – he jokes it’s because he’s a big dude, but really he’s just…pretty good at dodging when he’s focused. Non-physical is always gonna be charisma. He’s just oh-so charming.

How would they react to finding out someone lied to them, even if it was for their own safety/wellbeing?

It does highly depend on what the lie is and who is was. Though as long as the person is completely open about the lie and doesn’t try to dodge questions once it’s found out, he can accept it a lot better.

Do they prefer cold weather or warm weather?

Cold so he can wrap up nice and toasty in several blankets.

How easy is it for them to say ‘I love you’?

Some would say too easy, but telling his friends how much he loves them is something very important to him.

How easy is it for them to tell someone about their worries?

Easier than it was. He has gone through…a LOT of therapy.

Have they ever witnessed someone die?

Unfortunately, yes! Not just in terms of his job that occasionally involves slaying vampires, but like…an actual normal person when he was a kid.

Are they ticklish?

Oh, very. Poke his ribs and he giggles.

How high/low is their pain tolerance?

He’s adapted to have a pretty high one due to the amount of nonsense he gets into.

Is there something they secretly wish they could do but are too afraid to?

Have enough spare money to just spoil his kids all the time.

Are they a messy eater or a neat eater?

Kinda messy. More just not noticing he has sauce surrounding his mouth or whatever.

What moment of their life made them feel most unloved?

His entire relationship with his ex, Gabbie (his son Derwen’s mother).

What moment of their life made them feel most loved?

Every time he hangs out with his friends or when Izzy (his girlfriend) holds him.

Which of the senses would they hate to lose the most?

Smell. He loves smelling good things, plus it’s enhanced due to being a shapeshifter.

Are they good at small talk?

Not particularly. He do it, but he’s very noticeably stiff when he does.

If they could ask anyone one question and get the absolute truth, who and what would they ask?

It would probably be his ex Gabbie and it would just be…why him?

If they had the chance, would they prefer to travel to the past or to the future?

The past, but only like…the 70s and 80s to watch some of his favourite horror movies in cinemas.

Who had the biggest impact in their life, both positive and negative?

Once again, in terms of negative impact, it was his ex. Positive though, his parents have been a great influence on the kind of man he became.

Would they rather live life always surrounded by people, or always alone?

That is tough for him, as he likes being alone but needs to break out of it on occasion because too much alone time is usually what leads to him having awful spirals.

Is there anyone or anything that instils fear in them?

Spiders. Also the vastness of space.

#oc stuff

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #067

Did you ever used to make cookies, cakes or pie with your grandma? No. I did practically nothing with the only grandparent (Mom's mom) I really knew. I didn't like her and I KNOW she didn't like me. Do you burn incense? Not at all regularly, but I like to. Do you smoke weed? No. It's not legal here but I'm also just not interested in smoking anything. Have you actually been through a devastating natural disaster before? Yeah, Hurricane Floyd was pretty damn devastating. I barely remember it at all, though. I was very young. What fast food place, in your opinion, has the best french fries? Bojangle's by far, which is a mostly east coast-exclusive chain restaurant founded right here in NC. They use a special seasoning that is just so fuckin good.

Do you believe one day aliens might take over Planet Earth? I suppose it's possible, but I genuinely don't think it'll happen. Do you like soda pop? If so, which is your favorite and least favorite? I answered my favorites in the last survey I took I think, but my least favorite is probably root beer. Does it bother you when people burp around you or do you do it too? I don't give a shit. It's a natural body function. When is the next time you’ll talk to the cousin you’re closest to? Since cutting my uncle's family out of my life, I'm not close to any of my cousins. When was the last time you saw a bird? What kind of bird was this? Sometime earlier today, and I didn't get enough detail to know. There were two chasing each other out the window that Roman was very interested in, ha ha. How old were you when you had the chicken pox? I actually never got it. Ever had a friend named Alex or John? Alex, yes. She was a close online friend that fell off the face of the planet after she got a boyfriend. I miss her. When was the last time you painted a picture? Not since I was in college last and had a painting course. What kind of stuff do you like on your hot dogs? Just mustard and ketchup. Small bits of onion are fine, but it's not something I generally ask for. Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? Just by Girt's front door. What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Dude cinnamon rolls for breakfast can make my whole day lmao. Has someone seen you naked in the past month? My mom probably has at some point, getting in or out of the shower. But maybe not. How many concerts have you been to? Just one. :/ I REALLY want to go to more. Do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced? Who the actual fuck cares about the sexuality of someone with their tongue pierced???? Of course it's fucking fine. Last thing you drank? My mom and I are absolutely ecstatic that we discovered I like strawberry-flavored sparkling water, which is what I have now. I've cut WAY down on soda (I don't have it most days) and I'm sure this will help me even further. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? My right nostril has been pierced two times in the past. The fucking studs (even those that curve to prevent this) just ALWAYS came out in my sleep and the hole would close super, super fast. I'm going to get it redone again at some point though and just use a hoop. Would you ever donate blood? I have in the past and am not against it again, so long as I knew I was well-hydrated. Have you ever driven without a license? Before I even properly started learning to drive, sometimes Ma would let me drive down the rarely-traveled dead-end road that led to our then-house. But otherwise, no. Are you ticklish? Ugh, yes. What are you listening to? I'm watching/listening to WoolieVS play the remake of Resident Evil 2. Describe the main problem with your last relationship? We were just mutually not mentally stable enough and it was adding more stress to the other person. What’s on your shower curtain? Nothing. The hall bathroom's shower curtain is just white, while the one in my mom's room has a door. What cartoon/anime character can you most relate to? I don't really know, I don't feel like thinking too deep on this. Do you have any pictures of celebs saved to your computer? ........ I may or may not have a folder titled "Rammstein" LMAOOOOOOOOOO Do you like turtleneck sweaters/shirts? No, they are SO uncomfortable. Do you find hands attractive? Sometimes, sure, but they're not a major thing I notice. Do you think it is silly to give names to vehicles, or other inanimate objects? I don't care. I don't really do it (except for stuffed animals, lol), but it's whatever if others do. Do you ever wear a robe? No. Is there a hair color/style you really like but don’t think you could pull off? BUZZCUTS FOR WOMEN. Omg it looks SO good sometimes, but I couldn't pull it off, I'm sure. I've also seen bright, lime green hair, and it can look great, but I don't think I could rock it. Out of all the Disney/Pixar animal “sidekicks”, which one is your favorite? Timon and Pumbaa, of course. :') If your mom was a teacher, would you want to be in her class? My mother actually HAS substituted my class before, ha ha. I can't remember the actual situation, but I remember it happening at least once in elementary. She worked regularly as an assistant with special ed classes, and she somehow ended up as a sub for a normal class with me. She was a great teacher. As a kid, did you love playing on Neopets? Neopets was literally what started my computer addiction. I LOVED it. Would you ever get a pet turtle? Why or why not? Nah, they're not my kind of pet. What shop/store/brand would you model for, if given the choice? Rebel's Market or Hot Topic if they actually wanted my ugly ass lmao. If I search your room will I find birth control? Yes. Have you ever witnessed a birth? Only cats. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? That's honestly probably what I've been complimented on most in my life. Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? My dad is married. Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Uhhh I guess Velma? Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. Set in a gothic mansion. The "aisle" I walk down is a big ol' curved staircase. Absolutely NOT going to happen, but I can dream, ha ha. Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Yeah, just a random darker blotch on my lower right arm. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Nature landscapes. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Meerkats, because they're incredibly bold (practically fearless, let's be real), loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Just imagine a foot-tall, two-pound little animal surviving a snake bite you never could've. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Be a general piece of fucking shit. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? I never read much of the Bible, so... If you were to write a book what would it be about? I'd probably pick one specific RP character's story to tell in full. Who do you admire the most? My mom. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? Steve Irwin. I tried to always be nice to animals and teach others about them and why they're good. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Violence. The last piece of roadkill you saw, what kind of animal was it? Uhhh I think an opossum. They're sadly what you see most of here. :( Has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? What he did was absolutely cheating, yes. Who/what is the last thing you kicked? I stubbed my fucking toe on the corner of my bed yesterday. I FINALLY got a brand new bed + mattress, but the size of it isn't the exact same and I think the natural, subconscious course I take walking to the side where I lie down has been slightly thrown off. Seriously fucking hurt. List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner) 1.) I went to Girt's a few days ago, which was nice because I really like spending time with his family and getting to know them more. 2.) I went to the doctor and left having started a weight loss plan. I start getting the shots... tomorrow, I think. 3.) Girt and I watched Outrageous Pumpkins at my place and I'm now absolutely obsessed, ha ha. It's like, professional pumpkin-carving. 4.) My new bed was set up. I no longer sleep in a fucking ditch that was a feat of goddamn strength to get out of. 5.) I made massive progress in cleaning out my deviantART notifs. I haven't fully cleaned it out in months, and I watch A LOT of fucking people. Time for some questions about you and your significant other/crush. What is something you like, that he/she doesn’t like? Uhhhhhh first thing that comes to mind is tarantulas, ha ha. What is something he/she likes, that you don’t like? Chess. Something you both like? Video games. Something you both dislike? Country music. Do you like The Hunger Games? I loved the first book and movie, but I never read/saw any of the sequels. Random fact about the person you love/like? He went to college forrrrr... I want to say business management. Something like that. He dropped out his last year though after his dad died and his mom needed him, plus he was obviously emotionally affected. He wants to go back to finish eventually. What would you do if your ex contacted you? "The" ex, probably have an emotional breakdown. Or VERY barely keep it together. HOPEFULLY be able to tell him I don't want to be in contact with him. My most recent ex, I don't fucking know. Also hopefully be wise enough to know she shouldn't be in my life and block her again without even replying. Last time you had anal sex? (if ever) Never, and I never want to. Absolutely not my thing, the concept grosses me out. How many pets do you want? And of what? Dear god, I want so much. Western hognose morph, tarantulas, Woma python, Sonoran-subspecies western coachwhip, Mexican black kingsnake, a boa constrictor, green tree python, Argentine BW tegu, African fat-tailed gecko, velvet spider, Asian forest scorpion, orchid + giant dead leaf mantis, more ball python morphs, MAYBE an elephant trunk snake... there's just so many, dude. Realistically I probably won't have all of these, but we'll see what I can manage in the future. Have you ever asked someone out? Yes, more than once. Is the last person you kissed a virgin? No. Who makes you the happiest? Girt. Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? No. Was your last kiss standing up, sitting down, or laying down? Standing. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? I find it interesting and equally terrifying, but I don't know with total certainty if I believe it's possible. I know there has been at least one "recorded" case in history, but it's literally just a picture of the chair she'd sat in and her shoes and I believe the scene could definitely have been posed. What was the last zoo/aquarium you went to? The last zoo I went to was the Asheboro Zoo, and idk the last aquarium. Somewhere at the beach though and it's very small. What does the last message in your Facebook inbox concern? I was talking with a friend who is cancelling her wedding and breaking up with her partner and really needed an ear. I was supposed to shoot her wedding, hence why she chose me to talk with. I really, really hope this goes over well for her, I don't think she's told him yet because she's waiting for something, and I know she's terrified of how he's going to take it. Who is your closest friend of the opposite sex? What’s the best thing about him? Girt. He always knows how to cheer me up and is without fail always there for me. How did you meet the person you fell hardest for? We went to the same high school. He apparently saw me in the hallway once and "had" to know who I was so I think found out through a friend that was with him? He ended up sending a friend request on Facebook, and I accepted only because I thought he was a DIFFERENT Jason. Then we started actually talking. What was the last alcoholic drink you had? I actually don't remember. It's been a hot minute. What did you last take medication for? Aside from prescription meds I take daily, Tums. I've been getting fucking heartburn almost every night I lay down to sleep lately, even though I'm ON an antacid. What was your favourite thing about the person you fell hardest for? He could read me just like a fucking book, and I mean it. Jason could know what I was thinking or feeling just by glancing at me. He was also genuinely such a gentle person with me. Are you a strong swimmer? I mean, I'm adequate. What is your favorite combination of colors? Hm... I don't know. Pastel stuff, probably. When was the last time you screamed out loud and what were the circumstances? Uhhhh idk. Can you describe your father in one word? Very goofy. He's turned into such a silly old man, ha ha. What’s the first movie you ever recall seeing? I actually don't know, at all. Do you still watch movies intended for children? Sometimes yeah, kids movies sometimes have better plots than "adult" ones and I really appreciate that they tend to have an important message. What was your worst fear as a child? Have you overcame that fear? Tornadoes, and nope. I am still paralyzingly terrified of them. What’s your younger sibling’s name? Nicole. Have you ever had a churro? No, but they look delicious. How is/was your chemistry class in high school? I actually took physical science, which was the alternative to chemistry in my school. What was the first thing you ate today? I had the Special K cereal that I like that has little chocolate pieces.

#survey #surveys #random questions #random surveys

[regnalastra]

interview

ayra had overheard it while listening half-heartedly to some drunkards at some inn out in the middle of nowhere in fodlan. she just wanted to relax a bit, but the moment she’d heard the word astra her body had instantly perked up, her ale forgotten about.

some ultra powerful sword technique called the astra. apparently you can learn it from a professor there. or something like that from the man’s slurred speech. he’d mentioned how he was a ‘famed’ knight of seiros… and something about how he was single for the ball and therefore wasn’t gonna waste his time going, but ayra couldn’t care less about that part.

no. what she cared about was shannan. she’d given up on being there for him again since the moment she left for belhalla with sigurd’s army. she truly thought she would never see him again. not to mention everything about it sounded too good to be true. shannan? here? and she finds him from some random drunk bastard’s gossip? surely it was some sort of trap or something to lure her into danger, however…

it seemed she was letting her heart win over her brain this time. she scoffs to herself as she looks up at the gates of the garreg mach monastery. she wasn’t one to believe in it but maybe this would end up being destiny.

—

a quick visit. that was what she told herself, but it seemed it would be anything but with the screening process she was going through as soon as she entered the damn place. security was tight (apparently tighter than usual because of the ball going on that night) and.. well she couldn’t blame them. so she sits through the interview they propose to her hoping this was all worth it. that she would see shannan again if she was just patient enough about it.

the man that takes her in for the interview is nice enough. she hadn’t completely listened but apparently he was a priest of the church. the vibes of the monastery weren’t all that bad either, the few students she saw that went to the academy seemed to be doing pretty well off for themselves. she can’t help but think it would have been nice for shannan and her kids to grow up in this place as the priest leads her to where she would be interviewed.

“miss ayra you said your name was?” even with the man’s supposed kindness ayra remains a smidge guarded. “yes.” she briefly nods to confirm. “alright.. well, this won’t take long at all. why don’t you have a seat and we’ll get started, alright?”

—

“what has led you to where you are today?”

“…” ayra’s normal stone cold gaze goes soft as she thinks about her nephew. ever since her brother and father had died everything in her life she had done was for shannan for so long. before she had the twins, before she’d even met her husband, he was the only stable part of her family left. he was the thread that kept her hanging onto her future. “a lot, i suppose.” is her at first taciturn answer, but she goes on to elaborate after a bit of silence. that clearly wasn’t enough of an answer for him. “shannan.. he—my nephew, but he’s more like a little brother to me.” she didn’t think she would have had a reason to try and live if it weren’t for him. isaach nor herself wouldn’t have a future without him…. since when had shannan become such a prominent part of her existence? more than her own children? she wonders the answer to her own question. then she scoffs, a barely visible smirk tugging at her lips. “i didn’t realize everything about me was so dependent on him until now.”

“what are your strengths and weaknesses?”

“my strengths? i’m a trained warrior in the blade, specifically of the astra style. i learned from the best…. though that’s all just talk. give me a sword and i’ll show you myself.” even as she offers up a demonstration of her skills to really prove herself the man interviewing her actually tells her that’s not necessary. her brow furrows (you want my strengths but then don’t want to actually see them in action?) but she accepts it and moves on. “my weakness…” ayra gazes at the floor in silence. “i’ve become a coward with not the strength to protect the people and the country that i love..” she laughs, tone sardonic in a way that clearly hurts her. she had practically abandoned both shannan and her children to repay her debt to lord sigurd, to assist a man from a country that was initially her sworn enemy. the very enemy that had caused them to have to flee to verdane, that had killed her father and brother. shannan was older by now, surely he had realized how royally she had messed up. and not to mention her kids… she wouldn’t be surprised if they grow up hating her. who would love a mother who would go to battle first and take care of her children second? she sighs in resentment of her own nature, lashes fluttering shut. shannan. larcei. scathach. i’m sorry. perhaps one day she would be able to say those words out loud to them. she doesn’t imagine that will be anytime soon.

“if a story would be written about your life, what role would you play?”

she hesitates over such a strange question. she was never good with words; it was always so much easier to show her ideals through action. “it…” she pauses, takes a deep breath. “ it wouldn’t be a story about me. it would be a story about my country and my nephew who is destined to grow to rule it.” she looks up at the ceiling, her surroundings washing away around her. she can imagine isaach if she thinks about it for long enough, she can imagine her half brother telling her that she must escape to verdane. that she must take care of shannan and assure that isaach as a country had a future. it always always pained her to think of what she lost, even if perhaps it never showed on her face quite right, quite obviously as it might for the average person. suddenly her name is called and ayra blinks, as if opening her eyes and waking up from a bad nightmare. “and the role you would play in that story, miss ayra?” the priest asks innocently enough. she takes a deliberate breath before speaking. “my role in that story would be the protector of my nephew and by association my country.” and she had so utterly failed in fulfilling that role. growing quickly frustrated now, ayra crosses her arms and looks up at the man with something of a glare. “are we done here now?”

it is only later that she finds out she’s been accepted. worse though is when she told she’ll be a professor for the black eagles. what makes these people think she should be teaching kids? she’d happy be pointed at an enemy like she was comfortable but no… she really had no idea what she was getting herself into.

#{ she's here!! she's here!!! } #{ this thing went through a couple revisions haha but i'm satisfied with the end results :] }

[lunarianbeams]

so you’re telling me that:

my mental health has gotten so bad that i withdrew from my school to focus on my mental health and do outpatient therapy so i don’t have to hospitalized

only for my insurance to be terminated because it’s through my uni and now am unable to get any of the services i need in order to literally survive

#my life is a joke #literally a joke #i want to [redacted] what the absolute fuck #i was so sure that my insurance was for the whole year not quarter by quarter what the fuck #so what this means is #i won’t be able to get my meds #i won’t be able to attend therapy or go to the doctor to follow up on any of my medical stuff #i rehashed a lifetimes worth of trauma and struggles 4 TIMES AND FOR NOTHING #ARE YOU SERIOUS #i am in one of the worst depression of my life and barely functioning daily #and am on a sliding scale of passive/mild to active/severe suicidal ideation and intrusive thoughts #and i’m just supposed to fucking rawdog life or what? get institutionalized? #damn and i really believed i was in a stable enough place in my life to be able to start t #anywho #hospitalization// #suicide ment// #tw #cw

[thirst4fictionalmen]

Fezco x Pregnant!reader drabble [1]

“Yo, you good in there?”

No. No, you’re not good. But you did not say that because Ash is right behind Fez for who’s the biggest mother hen. You say one thing that’s a bit worrying, and he’ll already be hounding you and texting Fez at the same time.

You wouldn't put it past him that he already texted Fez about you secretly having a breakdown in the bathroom.

“Can I take a shit in peace, please?” you tried to sound snarky, hoping it’ll work. The quicker he leaves the quicker you can process this.

Must have not been believable enough because Ash went silent for a moment and is still at the door judging from the shadow you see.

“Is it your stomach again?” Ash doesn’t even try to hide his concern. Fuck, you love this kid so much, but you really need left alone to cry. It was hard enough that you can’t keep down your favorite takeout from the Japanese place you love, but it’s all because you’re pregnant. You didn’t want to buy the test because if you do, then it’s making it more real. You didn’t bother telling Ash or Fez because if the test is negative, then all three of you guys worried for nothing.

But now this is something to worry about.

“Yes,” you lied. “So please go?”

“Fine, fuck me for giving a shit,” Ash replied angrily as he walked away.

You wrapped your arms around your legs and tried to regulate your breathing. The last problem you need is having a panic attack on the bathroom floor. Luckily, Ash checked on you at the tail end of your silent sobbing.

Being pregnant was not particularly bad news.

It was too soon for you both. Your boyfriend already has too much to deal with. Taking care of his gram, the store, and temperamental Ash who recently committed murder some days ago. Fez never wanted you involved in that part of his life.

Kids were supposed to come later when you life is more stable. Not when you’re only a freshman at the local community college working part time in the library. That’s why your fucking birth control is supposed to do its damn job. Yeah, it’s 99.99 percent effective, but you didn’t think you would be that 00.001 percent. The rare times Fez doesn't wear a condom and that's when your birth control took break.

You stared at the test for the fourth time.

Who were you kidding? You already knew that it was set in stone as you walked into Rite Aid. The symptoms were smacking you in the face. You chalked up missing your period because your birth control finally stopped you from having them. But then you gained more weight, which you also chalked down to birth control side effects. And then your appetite was affected and when you threw up every time you got a whiff of something or a bite of hibachi, you knew the answers.

“Maybe I should have waited,” you muttered. Maybe having Fez with you through this would have made things better. The news would have made you want to curl up and cry but at least your teddy bear of a boyfriend would be there for comfort. He would kiss your forehead and wrap you in a nice warm hug. That’s one of the reasons why you love him. He’s so grounding and comforting.

Not ready to leave your solace, you climbed into the bathtub--not without grabbing a towel for cover--and laid down. Your mind ran a mile a minute of options and plans. Thinking of how this could affect your education. It shouldn't just make it more difficult. You’re still on your mother’s insurance luckily so that’s covered.

A sudden knock startled you from your thoughts.

“Ma, can you open up?” Shit. You were not ready for this yet. “Ash told me your stomach actin’ up. Got you sum Pepto, too.”

My sweet boyfriend and little baby in law, you teared up. As long as you got your family to support you then maybe things will be okay.

Luckily, your tears dried already, so you gave yourself a good stretch after stepping out the tub and opened the door.

His expression quickly changed from worried to shocked to worried again.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?” he asked, probably still thinking you had stomach issues. You shook your head. You stared into his blue eyes that had you wondering if your future child will inherit those. Will they inherit his freckles you liked to kiss every day, or maybe his red hair? Or they would be a perfect mixture of you both?

Not giving him a warning, you threw yourself onto him. Your arms wrapped around his warm body and rested your head on his chest.

“I love you so much,” you told him.

“Ma, you’re really scaring the fuck out of me,” he muttered. His hand rubbing your back as he kissed the top of your head.

“So I found out why I’ve been feeling sick lately,” you mumbled into his chest. Before he could question you, you blurted out, “How you feel about being a father?”

Welp, that’s one way to break the news. Better to get this over with by ripping the band aid off.

You felt him tense. You showed him the pregnancy test that you held like a lifeline for the past hour.

“What the fuck?” Ash swore.

.

.

.

So me being nervous again: what do yall think???

So I'm thinking of making this a short mini series. Like maybe two or three more parts.

I can't think of a good title so i went basic

#fezco fanfic #fezco x reader #fezco x y/n #pregnant reader #drabble

[chanluster]

10/10 | {m} ; {c} ; {f}

oneshot | friends with benefits! au | 18.7k words

“Because what you feel for your best friend cannot be described in words, but in numbers.”

s u m m a r y > > you and bang chan had no secrets between one other. each detail of your life would be discussed with your best friend of forever, no matter how insignificant it may be, through a little system you both had concocted — through a small rating. a number out of ten. a simple concept, used from being a child and rating your cookie a solid eight out of ten to your later years in high school, giving your first kiss a measly five. however, when you confess an average rating of your sex life in one hazy evening, chan decides this dilemma cannot be solved with buying you consolation cookies. he must simply raise that rating, all by himself.

w a r n i n g s > > friends to lovers! au, college! au, music! major chan, music! major reader, you both are literally soulmates, came out the womb holding hands, so much teasing, sexual! tension! chan has a massive fucking cock (i mean isn’t it obvious already), shit loads of making out, aggression, fingering, oral (f. and m. receiving), unprotected sex (stay safe homies!!!), kinda hate sex, orgasming left and right, ex! hyunjin, who’s also really bad at sex lmfaoaoao sorry king, chan is hella soft dom at the start but goes !!! hella hard later!!!! (i mean idk but) shit ton of fluff, friend! jisung which chan gets soooo jealous of, reader is so fucking annoyin, teensy weensy bit of angst, and yeh basically me venting out my love for chan once again

p l a y l i s t > > here!

a u t h o r ’ s n o t e > > this is dedicated to my dear friend chloe, boo i love u so much and thank you for that insane prompt :( also help this feels so rushed to me at the end but i hope y’all do enjoy <3

t a g l i s t > > @hanflix @thatonepieceofpineapple @kimkailover @decembermoonskz @smilesohwas @missskzbiased @illicit-roses @embroideredstarz @freckledquokka @moonluvbunny @aliceu @coupscarat @maedesculpaeusoubi @baby-wolf @multi-fandom-kpop-stan​ @minaamhh @leescrt

back to masterlist

“I’M SORRY, BUT I DON’T THINK I CAN DO THIS ANYMORE.”

Hyunjin’s face faltered completely at your words. It was expected, really. The poor boy was not anticipating this news.

“Wh-what?” he asked, a little too loudly, catching the stares of a few others in the coffee shop. You immediately glared at him, and he retracted back into his seat, but still had a befuddled expression on his face. 

You sighed a little. “Look,” you started, swirling your latte with a thin, wooden stirrer. “I’m going to be completely honest with you. I just think we’re much better off as friends.”

“Friends?” the boy flinched at the term, and even you had to hide your self-distaste. God, ____, at least try to be a little nicer! “Damn it, we’ve been dating for nearly three months, and you think we’d automatically become friends?!” he leaned in, knitting his eyebrows in growing desperation. “What the hell happened?”

You fought hard to not scratch the back of your neck. And possibly run away from the shop. Taking a long sip, you tried to feign the most sympathetic expression you could muster. “Hyunjin, please…”

“B-but, babe—” he started, and his eyes widened, trying to grab onto your hands which cupped the latte. “I don’t understand, we were so happy!” He huffed a smile, trying to convince you of your oh-so heavenly times spent with him. “Why are you thinking like this?”

You tried not to retract your hand from his — not only because it was hard to console him, but because they were embarrassingly sweaty. “Don’t think I have just done this on a whim. I have thought long about this decision.”

Finally, something out of your mouth which wasn’t a blatant lie. You had been thinking of breaking up with this goon — had the notion in your mind for half the time you dated him.

“____,” he said, and the melancholy you heard in his voice had you silencing your tongue. “What’s happened?” He began to caress your hand with his fingers. “Have I...have I done something wrong?”

Oh no. There it was. The reaction you dreaded.

Well, kind of. But still. Not the reaction you imagined in the perfect situation. 

Reluctantly, you put a hand over his fingers, hoping that your face was a painting of sympathy. 

“Hyunjin.”

Don’t say it, girl! Don’t you dare!

“It’s...it’s not you.”

You put your hand on your heart. 

“It’s me.”

Oh, Jesus.

Your eyes raised to his own, wide and glistening. 

Now, you knew Hwang Hyunjin was not the brightest kid on campus. The boy, who once asked you what the purpose of a spork was, may not have possessed the most intelligence, but you were scared that he may be smart enough to figure out that what you just said was complete, utter bullshit. 

Face it, ____. You’re done for.

A few tears spilled from his eyes, and a pang of guilt shot through you. “I-I see.” 

He did not let go of your hands. “We can still be...friends, right?” he sniffled, blinking at you rather irritatingly. “Like, we can still hang out together?”

You raised a brow, but reigned in a sarcastic reply. The boy would probably not even understand. “Of course,” you replied, a saccharine smile on your face. “But I think it’s best if we had some space from each other, okay?”

That was not the answer he seemed to be looking for, but he nodded, a little sadly. “Okay.” He still refused to take his hand away. “Does that mean I can’t rock up at yours midnight anymore if the junior needs a little taking care of?” 

Your brows could not help furrow in absolute exasperation. “Yes, Hyunjin,” you monotoned, unable to believe that you put up with this man for three months. “Now can you let go of my hand?” 

Realising his clammy hold on you, he flushed, looking away from your directory gaze. “I...should go, then.”

“No, no,” you insisted, getting up from your seat as you grabbed onto your drink. “I shall leave. I’m the one who dumped this news on you.” 

You debated leaving without paying for the latte — you knew the boy was still infatuated enough to cover your expenses. Sadly, shame coursed through your veins, and you cursed yourself for feeling a little sympathy for your now ex. “Here,” you offered, fishing out a little cash from your jacket. “For the drink.”

When you nearly stepped past him, you stopped, looking down at him as he tilted his head upwards. Your hand itched to put upon his shoulder, but you knew better. Hyunjin would only take that as a hopeful sign.

“I’m sorry,” was the last thing you said before you left the coffee shop.

Upon falling into a leisurely step onto the street, you let out a harsh breath, an endless amount of relief washing over you.

You were almost delighted to let Hwang Hyunjin go.

Now, it was not like he was a monster who had caged you into his two-feet-squared, dingy flat. In fact, the boy was, in almost every way, a decent boyfriend, whose stupid personality earned him a few laughs. 

Although extremely corny, the problem was not truly all him.

It was partly you as well.

Hearing your phone vibrate, you brought it out from your jeans pocket, already having an inkling on who the sender was, spamming you with messages.

CHRIS THE PISS :

bitch have you done it?

CHRIS THE PISS :

helloooooo??

CHRIS THE PISS :

hoe answer the phone i’m dying!! 

CHRIS THE PISS :

or prolly hyunjin at this moment lmaooo

You could not help the eyeroll which escaped from his words, and you decided to ignore him until you arrived at your destination. 

Which, evident from the persistent vibrations still, you figured you could not do.

CHRIS THE PISS :

i KNOW ur reading my messages DAMN just tell me!!

CHRIS THE PISS :

unless this is hyunjin and u killed her FUCK

CHRIS THE PISS :

haha dude whats poppin!! best man for ____ by far don't know why she was breaking up w u 

YOU :

chan i will kill u :)

CHRIS THE PISS :

hyunjin i promise i didn't mean it when i said u looked like a cheese string w ur new hair

CHRIS THE PISS :

that was ur girl putting words in my mouth 

YOU:

omfg chan STFUUU i’m coming

CHRIS THE PISS :

PLS HYUNJIN I SWEAR UR SEXC

Letting the man panic, you turned a left into student residence, buildings lined down the street, providing accommodation for hundreds of people like you in need of a place to sleep, eat, party, and contemplate the inevitability of death under.

Smiling at a few acquaintances, you entered the designated building, finding yourself with dozens of doors of the same, dead colour. Walking along the hallway, you stopped right at the very last one, bringing out your keys.

With a single twist you unlocked the door, but before you wrapped your hand around the knob the door swung open, catching you completely off guard.

“Funny, Hyunjin, how did you manage to transform into a little bitch so quickly?”

You cursed at the man who welcomed you.

“Damn it, Chan,” you said, hand on your chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“Sad it didn’t kill you off, then.”

You heard him splutter into laughter at your sad attempts to pinch his shoulder, glaring daggers into his crescent eyes. The bumbling idiot was Bang Chan, the one man you managed to keep for your entire life. That too is purely because none of you could manage a stable, healthy relationship — which was a shame, of course, when your best friend, with his fluffy, raven curls, black-oversized hoodie and sweatpants, was admired by so many. You often wondered how you had not fallen at his feet when he smiled at you, but then he’d open his mouth and all would be understood, as your anger would flare up, and rush to hit him as hard as possible. 

He gave you such a smile then, fingers gripping the doorframe. “How is Rapunzel, then? Sent him back to the tower?”

Wrenching his hand off the frame, which nearly had him falling onto the floor, you side-stepped past his stumbling figure, peeling off your jacket. “Rapunzel is never stepping in our lands again.”

After regaining his step, he muttered a cursed endearment your way and sat himself down on the couch, instantly settling his laptop upon his legs. “Oh, God. How badly did you break his heart, ____?”

Smiling, you dumped the jacket on the side table as you entered the living room, settling on the other end of his sofa. Propping your legs upon his, you pondered over the answer, and said, “At least a good seven.”

Chan let out a little whistle. “Oh, he’s definitely causing a shitshow on the groupchat tonight.” A huffed laugh was his answer. “Want Chinese or Indian tonight?”

“Surprise me,” you said as he brought out his phone. He dialled a number, and then you added, “Actually, can we please get Chinese?”

“No, we’re getting Indian.”

You raised a brow. “Didn’t you cry the last time you had their special curry?” 

The man stared at you for a minute before sighing, putting the phone to his ear. “I’d like your least spiciest dish please.”

He groaned as you pushed his legs off the couch, laughing at his pathetic tolerance towards spice. As he carried on with his order, you grabbed the TV remote, surfing through the channels. 

Even after all these years, you still found it endearing how Chan understood the depth of the numbers you tell him. The system between you two had been created during kindergarten, when, on the last day, you both had received such delicious cookies that words could not express the joy you felt when having the first bite. It was a mere joke at first, rating random classmates despicably low in middle school to even more serious situations, when you moaned to your best friend of your mundane kiss, expecting fireworks and butterflies yet were only met with an over-enthusiastic tongue. 

Chan himself used this system  — it was the reason you knew of his distaste towards spicy food, and certain girls he had dated in the past. Even now, when the two of you had started college together, working on the same projects and going to the same parties, this concoction had not been shelved in your memories. Although this may be something which others might deem insignificant, the concept had become a pillar of your friendship with this absolute loser.

The food arrived within the hour, and you both continued your box set as the plastic containers were cracked open, the pungent smell of curries and biryanis filling the room. Chan provided the plates and cutlery while you poured him the sufficient amount, and you rebuked his whining as you added the spicier dishes onto his plate.

“I refuse to let you eat only korma, Crispy,” you scolded. “Prick, careful! Don’t spill it on your laptop!”

“Bitch!” he yelped as a bit of the residue nearly stained his sweats, but was saved by his hands. “Just ruin everything I wear, why don’t you? Now I got curry on my fingers!”

You propped your legs over his again, eyes upon the screen once more, and the action occurring. “Just lick it off?”

“How about you do it for me?” the boy then simpered out, and you nearly tossed your entire dish on his head. 

“Let’s just focus on Tommy and his cocaine problem,” you dismissed him, but returned his impish smile as you elbowed him, nearly causing his food to stain his hoodie.

The two of you seemed to settle down after a bit and watched the show, commenting on the terrible choices the characters were making, and then boasted of how you and him could easily be the better leader from the protagonist. Soon, you had finished your takeout, and after Chan followed, he got up, hurrying into the kitchen situated behind the doorway in the lounge. He then came back, you delighted to find his hands occupied with two tubs of Ben & Jerrys’.

“Gimme, gimme, gimme!” you sang, snatching one of the tubs from him and pulling open the cover, digging straight in. “I didn’t know you brought ice cream!”

“Thought it’d help with the breakup,” he confessed, settling back into the sofa, shuffling closer to you. “But it doesn’t look like you need it.”

“Oh, I can’t believe Hyunjin broke my heart like this!”

Chan shook his head at your melodrama. “You may fool the looney princess, but you’re not fooling me.”

“You know me too well,” you said, which he agreed to with an absent-minded hum, eating his dessert.

There was a short pause, a comfortable silence reigning upon you both for a little before your best friend broke it, gulping down his ice cream.

“____?” 

“No, you’re not having any of mine.”

Chan prodded you lightly with his foot. “No, I don’t mean that. I was just wondering something.”

“Shoot.”

“You’re not...upset, right?” He took a bite of his ice cream. “Like, I know you always complained about him, but breakups can be difficult.”

You looked at him, and saw genuine concern painted on his face — along with a little vanilla stain on the corner of his lips. “You don’t have to pretend to be happy if you’re not, okay?” he continued. “Especially with me.”

Your heart melted slightly. “Of course, Chan, don’t worry. I wouldn’t ever lie to you.” 

Turning to the TV screen, you sighed as you thought of your recent relationship. “There were good moments for sure. He was still a sweet guy, you know?” You then stabbed the creamy plains inside the tub. “It was just so...dull.”

The man beside you took in another bite, if a bit slow. “What do you mean?”

Following him, you relished the chocolate goodness, swallowing. “Dates were kind of boring. I carried most of the conversations because he’s too thick to talk about anything.”

Chan let out a soft snort. “I remember you telling me about it. I can certainly believe it.”

“Well, you won’t believe what I’m about to tell you next.” You focused on your ice cream, a sarcastic smile plastered upon your face. “Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin was terrible at sex.”

You did not need to see your best friend to sense his shock. “What?”

A small chuckle escaped you. “First time he fucked me, I think I cried. Not because it was so good, no, but because it was so bad.”

“No way,” Chan said, brows furrowed. “Didn’t you say he had a big dick or something?”

“That’s the downside, bud,” you countered, halfway through your tub. “Because he had a massive cock he thought that was enough for me to enjoy. But it’s not. He just did not know what to do with it!” 

The man had been silenced. He took another bite of his ice cream, in disbelief. “So you were...deprived of pleasure?”

“Deprived?” You scoffed. “Chan, I thirsted for a crumb of pleasure. God, can you believe I’ve faked nearly all my orgasms with him?”

This time, your friend glanced at you in horror. Carrying on, you said, “The only real orgasm I had was not even because of him. God, I was thinking about Lee Donghyuck singing between my legs.”

A soft growl entered your ears. “Oh Christ.”

“Bastard was so proud when I came all over him,” you crowed, trying to sweeten your bitterness with the dessert. “If only I told him I undid myself for an idol I’m never going to meet.”

Your friend did not say anything. The episode finished, and when you noticed his further silence, you used it to your advantage, starting a romantic comedy before he could even complain.

Even with the movie on for about twenty minutes, and the romance you thoroughly enjoyed, the man stayed quiet, idly stirring his melted ice cream in the tub. You ignored his rather odd behaviour, assuming he was either thinking of his assignment or had gotten a brain freeze. Either way, it let you watch your movie in peace, swooning outwardly at the man’s teasing to the girl.

One hour in, and you asked if Chan was okay. “Yeah...yeah, I’m good,” was his answer, sending you a second-long smile before going back to his brain freeze. You raised a confused brow, but went back to the chick flick, gasping when the boy went back for his love.

This was it. The fireworks, the passion which exuded from the mere actions of lips enveloping lips, hands holding onto waists or necks or locks and refusing to let go. You craved for your heart to drop down in lust as you let yourself fall, be wrapped up in another as you undid yourself. Where was this? Where was this for you?

Did you not deserve your desires to be fulfilled? Did you not deserve to have your entire world turned upside down in pure exhilaration?

Before you knew it, the credits rolled, and you let out a long, laboured sigh, leaning into the cushions. “Maybe it’s time I find myself a millionaire who’d pay me to have sex with me.”

The man was still looking at the now black screen. “Do you mean a prostitute?”

“Well, yes, but—” you groaned. “You know what? Maybe I’m meant to stay forever displeased.”

It was after a long time your best friend spoke. “Or…” he cleared his throat. “You find yourself someone who would pleasure you.”

You turned to him. “Wowie, thank you for a perfect solution! I really wouldn’t know what I’d do without you.”

Then, you saw his eyes darken. “____.” He propped the tub upon the coffee table. “Why search for other alternatives when you have options right here?”

Confusion marred your mind, not just from his words, but his entire change of character. “Chan, what are you on about?”

“____,” he said, and his hand inched closer to yours. “ I’m saying you should have a friends with benefits.”

The silence was suddenly heard. You did not realise the sheer weight of this man’s gaze till his very stare gravitated you to him. The lights were dimmed, and all you could see from the laptop’s light was his face — his beautiful face. 

What was all this? Why was your best friend looking at you like that? Why were you being affected by his gaze?

“I…” You could barely get the words out. “I never thought about that before.”

Chan had no such problem. “Well, maybe you should. There are many who would gladly be that person for you.”

You gave him a look. “And who would they be?”

A slight cock of his head. “____, who is your best friend, in the same class as you, share the same interests and would help you out in any way whatsoever?”

The question rather befuddled you. Why couldn’t the man just say the answer already? You thought of the few viable options, tossing, turning the names. 

Then it occurred to you. Your friend’s face sparked a little in what could only have been hope.

“I know!” you exclaimed, holding onto his arm. “I should ask Jisung!”

The little sliver of hope in his eyes morphed into annoyance. “What the fuck?”

Raising your brow, you asked, “Is that not the right answer?” You listed out the evidence. “He’s basically my best friend, is in music with us, we like similar things and would be willing to help me in any situation. I think.”

When you were done, you found yourself more confused when Chan closed his eyes, shaking his head. “What?” you demanded.

“Oh my God.”

His fingers caressed yours, and you gasped to find your skin prickling at the touch. You raised your eyes to his, and found yourself lost for words.

“You dumb bitch, I should be your friends-with-benefits.”

Your mouth dropped.

Perhaps you would have said something, but then his thumb began stroking your skin, and you figured it was better to relish that instead. Thus, you looked at him, gobsmacked, not entirely sure what to say to his declaration. 

It seemed Chan was a little nervous too. “Look, I can tell you’re surprised…” he paused, a little lost for words as well. “Fuck, I guess I shouldn’t have suggested so early into the breakup, but you just…”

He pinned you with his gaze. “I couldn’t have my best friend miss out on the pleasure she deserves. And if that means giving you the pleasure myself, then I will do it.”

Bang Chan. Not just the best friend you’ve ever had, but the man who proposed benefits to this certain friendship.

“Well,” you got out, after what seemed like eternity. “Well damn.”

“We don’t have to do anything right now. Or even anytime soon.” He let go off your hands, and you did not know why the touch was missed so greatly. “Just...think about it for me, will you?”

You didn’t really have it in you to refuse. “Of course,” you said, feeling the need to touch something. Your eyes fell upon the remote, and figured you should distract yourself by watching the next episode of the series you previously watched. 

You needed a clear distraction, or else Chan would not need to wait long for his answer.

The episode began, and you watched, clamping your lips together as you felt the man shuffle closer to you, one hand sprawled on the top of the couch with his other hand idly surfing on his laptop. You rooted your eyes to the screen, finding yourself engulfed in 1920s England, trying to forget that your best friend left no space between you two.

Managing to somehow distract yourself from the lack of distance, you even began to relax, swooning softly of the gangster’s mannerisms towards his love interests, their intimate dancing in her bedroom. It was touching, and you even let yourself lean into your friend, who, too, glanced every now and then, a little smile upon his face.

Everything was fine and dandy until the characters started to kiss.

Now, there was nothing wrong with kissing. You were a hopeless romantic, and adored to see the actions of love on screen, the final breaking of barriers between two characters.

The problem was, the kissing did not seem to end there. The bigger problem was that this lust on screen made you all the more aware of your best friend beside you.

You froze, watching with no small amount of confused shock as the characters increased their desires, unbuttoning their clothes, discarding them as their lips moved against each other’s. Your eyes widened at the nudity, once never a bother but suddenly extremely embarrassing, as they collided, bare chest to bare chest.

The matters did not help at all when you sensed the increased beating of Chan’s heart, almost as loud as the instruments harmonising in the background. His searching on his laptop had ceased, as frozen as you were as his eyes refused to look away to the man and woman making love.  

It was too much. You had seen much worse scenes in your life before, but never had one made you so hot and bothered. Of course you knew why, though. Of course you knew, when the man you laid your head upon was breathing harder than you do when you walk up a flight of stairs. 

You did not waste a minute longer as you pointed the remote to the TV, and switched the screen off. Completely black, void of further lust radiating through the glass. 

A shuddered breath escaped Chan. “Well...double damn.”

You did not answer back. Only distanced yourself on the sofa, his fingers on the couch brushing against the back of your head. His touch may have been the last thing you needed then.

But that was not true. Seeing that sex scene, all glorified and affectionate, had you craving his touch. Your eyes could not bear to meet him, but his presence was suffocating enough. God, if you did not leave that couch now, you would dare to do something quite unimaginable.

Chan did not seem to move either. Your presence, too, had him nearly choking out a pained sob. Anymore time spent, and he would have another problem erecting soon.

At last, when a few minutes seemed like hours, you felt your friend stir. You were surprised to be devastated at the prospect of him leaving.

You were further shocked when, as Chan mustered all the strength in himself to get off the couch, he was stopped by your hand encircling his wrist. 

Whirling his head at your direction, his eyes widened. He was met with your own aghast ones, as your hand tugged him back to the couch.

You did not let go of his wrist as you whispered the words you never thought would have left your mouth that night.

“Let’s do it, Chan.”

His hand went limp in your hold.

For a second you thought he died under your grasp, but the way he parted his mouth went against your judgement. Perhaps you had sent his living soul flying out of his body, but you could not blame him — you did not feel at all like yourself just then.

“I wanna do it,” you murmured, refusing to let go. 

Chan’s eyes darted to the tight hold upon his wrist, and then to you once more. He opened his mouth, closing it straight after as he glanced away.

With a heavy sigh, he looked to you once more, an abundance of emotions swirling in his usually mischievous, soft eyes.

“Are you sure, ____?” He leaned a little closer, causing your heart to malfunction for a second. “You don’t have to think about it now—”

“Well, it’s all I can think about,” you cut him off, eyes never leaving him, despite the reddening of your cheeks. “And I want to do it.

“Like I said, Chan.” You shuffled a little closer, and your knees brushed against his. “I am deprived of pleasure.”

The man blinked once, twice, taking your declaration all in. He had to tell himself that this was not a dream, but a very much a fortunate reality, and that you were asking him of something he had been wanting to give you for a very long time.

There it was. Something he wasn’t quite ready to admit. You wanting your desires met by him was so much more than enough.

Dreaming still, he slithered one hand around your waist, almost like second nature as the other found refuge upon your face. His fingers were tender, softly caressing your cheeks as his eyes beheld you in a way he had never before..

This change of sight had you unable to look away from him.

“If you feel uncomfortable with all this…” he swept away a stray curl. “I will stop. That’ll be the end of it.”

You nodded, finding solace within his eyes. “I know.”

But there was no discomfort. Rather an impatient welcome, a growing urge for your needs met. Promises fulfilled. 

When you sensed him lean closer, so shy and yet so determined, hands still holding you, those vows were sure to be carried out.

You found out in the best way possible — the second when Chan brushed his lips against yours. 

His touch had you flying out your skin; well, not really, but it sure felt as such, when his mouth moulded with yours, a confirmation that he was strangely perfect for your own two lips, that he was meant to embed himself upon your mouth. 

You closed your eyes, heart climbing up your chest as your hands skimmed around his neck. Chan began his movements, and you were so unaccustomed to the actions that you could not help but be led by his kiss. The man had a way of making you listen to his every order, vocalised or not. 

The kiss was so...unreal. It was all that rang in your mind, over and over as the man took his time; he carried out a sensual rhythm upon your lips, not only to avoid overwhelming you, but to fully take in his situation — that he was kissing you, and no other girl who he had never dreamed of. 

He had all the time in the world for this.

The hand upon your waist gripped onto you a little harder, nails skirting around the hem of your shirt. His tongue teased you now, running along for entrance, to delve inside and drink in your every essence. Your mouth practically begged the man to prowl inside, opening up to him completely, a signal of full trust. 

You wanted this as much as he did. 

His elated rush was expressed through his tongue, when it slithered inside your mouth. Butterflies erupted in your body at the way he swirled it along with yours, almost playing with your tongue as if you both did. Of course, this is slightly different, because your gimmicks with Chan never had you salivating at the mouth. Nor feeling like you’re about to leak into your clothes from his touches.

Which really was the situation you ended up in; Chan, his hand now skimming under your shirt, revelling the skin of your abdomen, warming beneath his touch. The hand, once upon your face, had latched upon your locks, while you ran your fingers through his own velvety hair, nearly undoing yourself over the soft feel. 

Just when you thought he was going in for more, he broke away, hands still upon you — your breathing was ragged, the man in front of you panting slightly as well. His eyes, with no small amount of surprise, seemed a little feverish, whether that be from a random cold he contracted during the minutes he kissed you, or…

Or, as you found yourself biting your lip, he took an intoxicated toll over you, and how exquisite it was to drive his tongue in your mouth.

“Better than Rapunzel?” He whispered, so close his breath fanned your lips, spit-slick thanks to him. 

You made sure he was aware of your fingers threading in his locks, eliciting a low murmur. “Rapunzel better not leave the tower again.”

Chuckling, he wasted no time before he was upon you again, an invisible leash on him threatening to snap. He drove the shirt higher, skirting up your sides until he broke away from you for a mere second before peeling the shirt off of you and tossing it beside him.

Heaving, the sight of you in a bra was making the leash all the more tight, hands never leaving your sides as he latched onto your neck. Leaving open-mouthed kisses, down and down until his lips trailed past your collarbone, you let the moans leave your mouth, heightened and quick and unexpected. Suddenly he descended on you, kneeeling on the floor with hands following suit. 

Pleasure. You were oozing with pleasure as you hurried for the hems of his black hoodie, needing to have it off and run your hands on the expanse of his chest. Chan, a little preoccupied, did not realise your demands until you whined out your request.

“Chan—!” you gasped out as his lips left your belly, fingers upon the buttons of your trousers. “Hoodie, I need it off!”

The man only continued with his task, taking the zip down. “Up,” he rushed out, gesturing with his hand.

Dazed, you replied with a confused murmur, only understanding the need to take his stupid hoodie off.

He looked up from his endeavours, and the sight of him hovering between your legs nearly undid you. “I mean your hips, baby, put them up.” He grabbed onto the sides of your jeans. “I wanna take this off.”

Gulping, you raised your hips, giving Chan ease to pull your jeans, all the way down until your legs were bare, save for the soiled underwear which he instantly landed his eyes on. 

His mouth slipped out an uneasy fuck, which was just the right way to have you leaking even further. “Chan, come on,” you hurried, seething at the throbbing. 

His hands pushed you back on the couch, travelling down until they caressed the back of your knees. Pulling you closer from there, he leaned in until he was a few inches away from your moistened cunt, hurting more the longer he made you wait.

It wasn’t his fault, really. He still felt as if he’s living a dream he did not deserve. 

Fingers drumming against the back of your knees, the man blew a little upon your folds, and you let out a strained hiss at the soft breeze. This hypersensitivity was going to be your undoing, but even the smallest of actions brought you such thrill.

“I’m about to spoil you good, ____,” he whispered, and before you could reply, he descended.

The first kitty lick along the surface had you in shock.

Tendrils of pleasure gushed inside you, lurking all over your body as Chan swiped his tongue along the outside of your cunt, teasing, shying away, awaiting your reaction. You answered him with an indecipherable noise, a sound which had never escaped you before.

Maybe because no one had ever played with your cunt like this.

You truly had wasted your time with Hyunjin — this man, tasting your arousal, let out a satisfied hum, and when he dug deeper with his tongue, spreading your legs further, the moans you let escape were, for the first time, absolutely real. No acting, no bullshit.

Just like your best friend promised.

“Chan—!” You stuttered out, when he began circling your clit. “God, just like that!” You encouraged further, hips shaking at the way he made a mess of you. 

In response his hands left your legs, pressing them upon your hips. To your horror he paused his actions, peering up from your legs. 

The slick shining upon his lips could well have made you cum on his face right then and there. “I need you to stay still, baby,” he said, his hands on your hips keeping you in place, as his eyes did the same. “So I can do this properly.

“I don’t want you getting half-assed pleasure, okay?”

His soft demands, his calm explanations brought you in a further state of frenzy. You could not nod faster, chuckling emitting from him as his hands travelled down once more. 

“Good girl.”

And his mouth was upon your cunt again, this time the leash finally snapping as his tongue hardened against the seams. Your moans could have been heard in the hallways, but you didn’t particularly care when Chan, in the midst of his ravenous lapping, introduced the prospect of his fingers, caressing your dripping folds, swiping them over around the edges.

You didn’t know what to do — your hands scrambled to fist the fabric of the couch, laying back against the pillows. The hold grew tighter when your best friend slid his middle finger inside of you.

The journey may have been slow, but that was what made it all the more delightful. Feeling it go deeper and deeper had a particularly loud groan flying out of you, but the rhythm he adopted, pulling it out, but then diving it back again without leaving your cunt, had you delirious. 

A once foreign, unimaginable feeling you never thought you’d experience, was back inside — the heavy sensation deep within your gut, like a dull ache which grew more known the harder Chan worked between your legs. The feeling you had only ever experienced when you imagined Donghyuck instead of your ex-boyfriend in this similar situation. 

Fuck, there it is, you thought. The feeling of your incoming orgasm.

And it was not going to go if this man worked harder than the devil tonight.

“Chan—fuck—” you got cut off when he increased the speed of his finger inside of you. “I-I’m close.”

Never ceasing his finger, he looked up at you, hooded eyes welcoming you despite the tenderness on his face. “You’re doing so good, ____. So fucking good for me,” he cooed, melting your heart despite the situation. 

This time, he accompanied his fingering with a second digit, stretching out your walls and working harmoniously together in making you submit to him. Already you felt as if he’d filled you up, and the actions of his digits practically scissoring inside of you had every muscle in your body readying for release.

He dove back in, merciless to your clit, and all this work, everything at once, was so much that when you cried out, your release had to follow through. You couldn’t control yourself as you let your cum escape, staining the couch and the floor — most importantly, how most of it landed in Chan’s mouth. 

Breathing unevenly, and louder than you ever thought possible, you closed your eyes, slumping further into the couch. You sensed an emptiness inside you, and figured Chan had taken out his fingers. Opening your eyes, you saw him close your legs together, propping his head upon your lap, hands supporting his chin. He looked up at you, licking his lips free of your residue.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

The man smiled at you. “Satisfied?” he asked, fingers caressing your skin. 

Oh, of course you were. Damn it, you were more than satisfied — you were positively elated. If he had managed to make you cum with his fingers and tongue alone, imagine what he could have done with his dick.

You blinked. 

Imagine what he could have done with his dick.

“____?”

Perking up, you looked to the man kneeling before you still, anticipation brimming in his stature. “Please tell me you didn’t fake it.”

Embarrassment engulfed your body at the idea. “Chan, if you really think I faked all of that then I deserve an Oscar.”

Pride washed over his features. “Good.”

You then watched him slowly get up, climbing over you, hands skirting up your figure till he captured your face in his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You had enough strength to kiss him back, but failed to exceed him when he began nibbling upon the swell of your lip, making you revert to stage one of your growing need all over again.

Breaking away, you glanced up at him, holding onto his hoodie. “I want...more.”

The man stilled his actions, hands going limp upon your skin. You had about three seconds of panicking as you tugged on his clothes, whispering, “Wait, Chan, it’s okay if—”

But suddenly, his hands left your face, and the panic increased with you being lifted into the air, his hold under your knees and back as he brought you close to his chest. 

His eyes upon you were a hazard to your well-being. “God, ____, you could really ruin me.”

Your flustered nature was interrupted by Chan rushing to his bedroom, kicking the door open with his feet and pressing quick kisses upon your mouth, your cheeks, all over your face as you giggled out in reaction, arms locked around him.

His room was the same as his attire, black on black on even more black, save for a few gold corners and grey instruments settled in the far end of the space. His bed, however, was vast and comfortable, a place you have slept in many a time when late night recording sessions turned into sleepovers.

Gently, he laid you down on his bed, feeling the cool sting of the night air on your cunt, making you shiver. Your bra was useless in keeping you warm, but when Chan began to take off his hoodie, shirt dragging out along with it, you suddenly began to feel a lot hotter.

Discarding the clothes, you were rewarded with the image of shirtless Chan, slightly disheveled due to his endeavours between your legs. His smile revealed a hint of arrogance as he acknowledged your blatant staring, slowly taking off his sweatpants. 

“Careful, baby, or you’ll cum right there,” he mused, noticing the way your legs shivered in ecstasy. He dumped his clothes along with the others, catching sight of his Calvins barely containing his erection.

You felt the mattress press down as he prowled to you upon the bed, the more chaos erupting in your gut the further he came closer. You could barely contain yourself when he hovered over you, lips mere inches from yours. A powerful force within you halted your very breath — you knew, though, that at this particular moment, your entire soul rested in the hands of this man, looking at you through long lashes. 

He enveloped your lips, grinding his clothed erection against your cunt, drinking in your whines, your silent pleas of replacing it with the real deal. He smirked against your mouth, opening the seams as his one hand grabbed onto yours, leading it to the waistband of your boxers. 

Your fingers fumbled to take peel down the fabric, Chan parting from your lips to take it off entirely. His cock sprang free, and you let out a god-awful, shrill-like noise at the way it stood, red and angry and so very fucking big. 

“Fuck me,” you slipped out in a breath, earning a chuckle from him. 

“I very much plan to,” he had the nerve to reply, you wanting very much to slap his shit-eating grin off of him. Or perhaps kiss it till your breath was lost. 

Embarrassed, you tried to look away, but his fingers gripped your chin, leading your eyes to his. Other hand holding onto your hip, he gently positioned himself between your legs, precum already staining your folds. Breathing stunted, your stare reflected subservience, a request to bury his dick inside you already.

He read your every plea. 

Pressing his forehead against yours, he let out a shuddered breath before beginning the final descent.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Chan slid his cock inside — your mouth parted from the transition, at the tightening sensation as he kept going, burying those inches until your eyes were as wide as saucers, unable to look away from him. You dared not move, fear of snapping more a reality in your head than some far-fetched delusion.

Dragging his stare from your slit to your face, he caressed your cheek, offering you a small smile.

“Don’t be quiet, okay?” he asked, hand on your hip like iron. 

Nodding, it was all the signal he needed.

Just as gradually, he began to slide out, and, with his words in mind, you let yourself be shameless. The rhythm of his hips, the pain-stakingly tempered movement, made you whine profusely, and when the man slithered inside once more, moaning lewdly was your only reaction. It was all your brain could think of, when his cock was the sole deity which mattered in this moment.

His pace began to fasten, though, grunting erratically as his grip on you tightened. Your cunt was taking a toll, your second orgasm of the night a great possibility as you felt it inside you, as tangible as the dick being pushed and pulled out into you. 

“F-faster!” you wailed out, and God bless Chan, for he obliged you completely, increasing his rhythm, practically abusing your slit with the way he fucked into you. Tears pricked the corner of your eyes, and you let them fall, for there was no hiding your emotions with this man.

Your best friend could see right through you anyway. 

Chan’s strength seemed unhuman as he thrusted his cock into you faster and faster, and you knew if he did not stop then you would cum all over for the second time. The very image had you on the edge of your sanity.

When his cock hit your g-spot you really believed yourself hitting seventh heaven of delight. White spots blurred your vision, tears now your beloved companion as they trailed down your cheeks. “I’m c-close, fuck—” you tried to voice, but were cut off when slid out once more, tip never leaving your folds. 

His hair stuck to his forehead, beads of sweat peppered on his face as he crushed you with his lips, relishing your whines. His tongue befriended yours, and the swirling of your muscles with each other had brought a new form of high bubbling within you. 

You moaned his name onto his lips, hands sliding around his neck, pulling you as close as physically possible. This was it. You could not wait any longer. You wanted your undoing, and you wanted it now, in these sheets, within his arms, within his hypnotic presence. 

It was incredibly fortunate that Bang Chan could read you like the back of his hand.  

Parting from your mouth, he kissed a sloppy trail all the way to your ear, lips grazing against the lobe. 

“Go on, then,” he purred, leaving a small kiss to your skin. “Cum for me.”

His words were all you needed before you let yourself go, crying out as release poured from the tight spaces your cunt offered, and onto the sheets below. You wheezed in a few breaths, tired gasps gripping your body.

Chan, within the second, pulled out, just in time for him to let out a pained growl as he came onto his bedsheets. Some of the fluids sullied your legs, but seemed the perfect time as he collapsed right beside you, breathing as heavily as you were. 

You and Chan were the only noise in the room — however, if one could translate emotions into sound, that would be an entirely different matter. 

At least for you. You could barely contain your elation.

An emptiness may be present inside of you, but it was now replaced with a full heart. Fuck, you could not believe you had finally been given pleasure, such unadulterated satisfaction that you wondered whether it truly occurred, or was just another fantasy — this time with Chan’s face plastered rather than your infatuation of the month.

Sensing the said-man move, you turned to your side, smiling to see his stare fixated on you. Shifting closer, he curled a stray lock from your face behind your ear. “How’re you feeling?” he asked gently, hand on your face still.

You laid your head against your arm. “I am so pissed I didn’t break up with Hyunjin sooner.”

Laughing, his fingers trailed downward, sketching onto your collarbone. “You…” he paused, biting his lip with what you saw, surprisingly, as apprehension. “You really liked it?” 

Your eyes darted to the surroundings, smirk spreading across your lips. “I mean, I am an insanely good actress...”

His shock horror had you spluttering into laughter. When he tried to turn his back to you and sulk, you held onto his arm, keeping him in place. “Oh, stop! You know I’m joking, you big oaf.”

Pouting, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “You better be,” he muttered, earning further giggles from his truly. The laughter was replaced with your yawning, which Chan instantly picked up on. “Hey, ____, you should sleep.” He began stroking your hair. “You’re really tired.”

You tried to object, but your intended groans become more deep yawns, proving his point. He passed his fingers over your eyelids, fluttering them close. “I’m not hearing anything else!”

Stinging out your tongue in what you hoped was at his direction, you grudgingly obliged. “Fine.”

You felt him sigh upon your face. “Goodnight, baby.”

“Goodnight, Hyuck.” 

“Nevermind, I hope you have a terrible sleep.”

With your last round of exhausted laughter, you let yourself fall into oblivion, safe in your best friend’s arms. 

YOU WOKE UP WITH CHAN ALREADY GONE.

It was not such a huge disappointment. The man had warned you before that he had to leave early to meet up with his supervisor. In all honesty, maybe it was good he was not there, next to you in his sheets. 

Your hands gripped those very sheets, raising them right under your chin as you looked up to the ceiling, watching the dried swirls of black paint overlapping each other.

“Oh my God.”

Indeed. Here you were, in your best friend’s bed, basking in his scent, in his world. Of course, you always seemed to smell of him, considering you both never seemed to let go of each other, but last night was different.

Obviously, because Bang Chan had never rocked your shit before. 

Your legs began to tingle at the thought. Even the mere memory had you feeling a mysterious sensation all over your body, reminders of the places Chan had looked, touched, tasted. God, you did not think, did not let yourself think further or you’d be calling that man this second.

You knew you had to get up at some point — you had some recording to do today, and more assignments to hand in. You had tasks, obligations to take care of. Unfortunately, the warmth of your best friend’s bed was much too enticing for you to submit to the requests of reality, and so you let yourself lay there for moments longer, in hope you can recreate the scene in your head once more.

There was no lie about this. Bang Chan knew how to fuck you into another dimension. 

Just when you were about to dream into last night, your phone vibrated harshly against the bedside table. Curious, you stretched out your hand, grabbing the object and checking who so rudely disturbed your shameless manifesting.

CHRIS THE PISS: 

just stopped by the medical room,,, want me to get a wheelchair?

CHRIS THE PISS:

cause im sure asf u can’t walk rn 

You rolled your eyes until it hurt. Stupid prick.

YOU:

i haven’t gotten out of bed actually 

CHRIS THE PISS:

oh damn

CHRIS THE PISS:

i PARALYSED u??

CHRIS THE PISS:

why am i so powerful 

“This asshole,” you muttered. 

YOU:

STFUU COCKY MF

CHRIS THE PISS: 

It’s ok you’ll cute in a wheelchair

YOU:

?!?!?!?!!?!

CHRIS THE PISS:

but tell me 

CHRIS THE PISS:

how good was it

This had you pausing. 

CHRIS THE PISS:

outta ten

Now here was a rating you couldn’t bring yourself to confess.

All you wanted to do was give him a solid ten — the man finally offered you a better view of sex and how it can be appreciated, and the way he guided you through it was more than just adequate.

But the thing was, you and Chan hadn’t ever given each other 10/10s.

A perfect score was a rarity in your dynamic; possibly a rating never revealed before because you and Chan had promised each other never to exaggerate on this system. The only time you had ever used the solid ten was when he made you his first ever song at the tender age of nine. At the time, it was a terrible tune, with beats all over the damn place with no form of rhythm, but because he made it especially for you, you voiced your true opinion and rated him the perfect score.

Again, the situation here was different.

So, instead of the truth, you resorted to irritation. 

YOU:

2/10 :)

You waited for his text.

However, you did not receive it.

Only the shrill ringtone of your phone, snapping you further into consciousness. 

Groaning, you swiped right onto the screen, pressing the speaker button.

“Now I know you’re lying!”

Laughing, you propped the phone beside you on the bed, upon the place where Chan would have been. “You got a big ego there, hun.”

“That may be true, but my cock is bigger, so I still win.”

You were glad he was not here — the man would have sensed your embarrassment in an instant. 

It was worse because he was not lying. “Now tell me, Pinocchio,” he continued, voice interrupting as the noise of the students around him came through the receiver. “Out of ten.”

“I already messaged it to you, buddy,” you said impassively, or at least you tried. “A solid two would suffice.”

God, you could almost feel your nose growing.

Perhaps he felt it too, for he answered, with no small amount of pride, “I’m gonna pretend I fucked you so good you forgot how to think properly.”

You could not help gulping, raising the sheets over you. It wasn’t exactly hard on boning, but even so...you really thought for a second you’d lose all feeling in your legs last night.

“Shut up, Chan.”

“Shut up, Chan,” he parroted, which had you threatening to hang up. “Don’t think I’ve let you go on this subject.”

“Try me, buddy,” you jeered.

“And for Christ’s sake, stop calling me ‘buddy’,” he demanded. “Or else I’m pulling a Hyunjin.”

“A Hyunjin?”

“Yeah, a Hyunjin.” You heard the sound of horns blaring at the end of his call. “Ruining your sex life.”

That nearly made you freak. “Damn, I won’t say it again, Christopher Bang, musical name Bang Chan, nicknamed Chris the Piss—”

You heard his chuckling through the phone. “All that for my dick. I must have changed your life, ____.”

Heating up from his stupid comments, you grabbed the phone from the table. “I’ll see you in the studios, asshole.”

His smugness ran rich in his voice. “Buh-bye, baby.”

The minute the call ended, you sighed heavily, clutching the phone to your chest.

He did change your life.

Not necessarily your entire life, but certainly a huge aspect of it. A small part of you was horrified at how easily he shifted your daily balance, making you ponder over him more often, with much more intensity than before. Were you a sex maniac? Were you so deprived of being touched that one night of fun had you begging like a woman starved?

“Whatever,” you groaned, swinging your legs to the side of the bed, and upon the carpet. “Fuck Chan.”

Hopefully tonight.

FUCKING AROUND WITH CHAN MIGHT HONESTLY BE THE BEST DECISION YOU HAVE EVER MADE IN A LONG, LONG TIME.

And you weren’t the one to make good decisions. You get up an hour before the afternoons, drink Pepsi Max to compensate for your lack of water drinkage, and worst of all, you would gladly sell your body for Colin Firth, especially if he dressed himself up as Mr. Darcy at his age. Whatever setbacks you possessed, you knew that this, at least, was a step in the right direction.

Bang Chan may have been as big a loser as you were, but the man made you feel like a powerful entity. Hell, in all the state, with the way he made you act.

Never before had you become so daring — libraries, which were once your place of study, became a rendezvous for his slender fingers inside your cunt. The living room had become a breeding ground, and even your shower was stained of your promiscuity. There was no place left where you and Chan hadn’t done something scandalous, and you wondered, with no small amount of excitement, on how this new side of your friendship with him would progress. 

These thoughts accompanied you as you walked to your destination. It was not far off as you entered campus, and smiled at the few students who passed by.

Soon, you found yourself in the music department, and walked through the familiar halls, littered with posters of different artists and singers in their peak careers. A few trophies were boasted of behind a glass screen, but the surroundings all became irrelevant when you approached your designated music rooms.

Expecting Chan to be inside, headphones adorned, you did not bother knocking, strolling straight into the room. However, you stopped completely when a giant, hoodie-clothed back did not greet you.

Instead, it was a tinier hoodie-clothed back, faded yellow over the trademark black. Although not your best friend, you instantly recognised the alternative, and smiled.

“Jisung!”

The boy did not seem to hear, for he kept bobbing his head, no doubt trying out beats. 

You tiptoed slpwly until you stood right behind him. Then, in a flash, you snapped your hands upon his shoulders.

“Boo!”

A shrill, terrified yell erupted, chair being swivelled suddenly as the back hit against the controls. You took a step back out of shock too, a choked giggle escaping when you beheld the face of Han Probably-shit-his-pants-Jisung. 

“Oh my fucking God,” he rasped out, hand on his chest. He then locked eyes with you, and suddenly his quivering mouth melted into a smile of relief. “Ah, ____!”

“The one and only.” You sat down on the neighbouring chair. “Sorry if I made you shit your pants. It was fully attended.”

“Stop,” he insisted, taking off his headphones and scooting a little closer to you. “These are new jeans as well.”

“Not my fault if you’re a pussy,” you chanted, picking up the headphones, settling them upon your ears. “Can I listen?”

“Of course!” Jisung pressed a few keys on his laptop, and the music began. 

Your eyes widened in surprise to hear pleasant, almost lo-fi background before his voice flooded in, comforting you with his soft lilt and meaningful lyrics. On instinct your head bobbed along to the rhythm of the beat, smiling at the wordplay and the rising vocals.

“Jisung, this is really good!” you exclaimed. The boy waved off the compliment, but you instantly saw his face reddening. “Oh, stop it, you know that you’re one of the best out here.”

If you thought he couldn’t get more flustered, he proved you incredibly wrong. “Don’t say that,” he shrilled, propping his feet up on the chair and hugging his legs tightly. When he saw the look on your face, though, he smiled, teeth and all. “Thank you, ____. It means a lot coming from you.”

“Oh, I’m no musical genius,” you said, pressing the play button to hear his music. “Just a motherfucker who can appreciate a song of the year when she hears one.”

Jisung nearly passed out from your compliment, but you did not take it much into account as you focused all your attention on the piece. It was an undoubted fact that Han Jisung was an extremely talented dude. You already knew you could never compete with him, but he was certainly up to Chan’s level of musical expertise. With all this talent brimming around you, you made a mental note never to make more gifted friends in the future. 

Once the song ended, you took off the headphones, propping them gently upon the table. “I think you’ve inspired me to do some actual work.” 

The boy was still smiling as he reached his hand out, planting it upon your own on the table. “Well, I’m honoured to be your inspiration.” His eyes reached yours, and you were engulfed with his warmth. “The feeling is more than mutual.”

You offered him a grin, and were about to say something when the door opened.

Turning, you were welcomed by Chan’s dark figure at the studio entrance, holding two cups of coffee. Despite his black attire, you found yourself admiring a little too brazenly the bare face he never exposed in public, the beanie hiding his curls, and the tick in his jaw, which heightened further when he took in the scene.

The actions were quick — the darting of his eyes as they started on you, then travelled to your hand, engulfed with another’s. He raised them to the man guilty of the touch, and found himself staring at Jisung, beaming not only from you anymore, but at the arrival of his friend.

The joy was not returned. 

“Chan!” Jisung greeted, letting go of your hand innocently as he ushered your best friend over. 

He nodded in return, gaze back to you as he walked, a little too slowly, to the two of you. He put the two beverages upon the table next to the keyboards. “I didn’t know you were in as well,” he said. After a pause, he added, “I would have gotten another coffee.”

“Nah, it’s okay,” he assured him, even though it did not look like he needed any reassurances. 

Catching onto Chan’s attitude, you slid your coffee to the boy beside you. “I don’t want any right now. You take it.”

You took note of the pursed lips, and ignored it as Jisung widened his eyes. “No, no, it’s okay—”

“Ji, I insist,” you pestered him, driving the cup within his grasp. “You look so tired.”

He offered you a lovely smile before taking the beverage. “Thank you.”

Chan, watching this little conversation, had him clamping his lips together, possibly to not say something stupid. It was a little habit of his, thankfully in action. He slid the other cup to you. “You can have mine.”

You looked up at him. “I’m good, buddy.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Share.”

You rolled your own, taking a sip of the coffee, and thanked yourself for not being petty enough to refuse him. “Fine.” 

Jisung swivelled his chair so he faced Chan, fingers upon his laptop. “Do you wanna listen to the demo?” He grabbed the headphones, holding it out to him. “I’m nearly done with it.”

“You can send it to me later,” was his curt answer, as he took the cup from you and drank. 

You looked at him in exasperation, but the boy nodded in satisfaction, picking his bag off the floor. “That’s chill!” he said, heaving off the chair. “I got all the time, so don’t worry too much about it.”

He then turned to the two of you as he strolled to the door. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you both something.”

“Spit it out, then,” Chan jeered, which had you glaring at him. What the fuck was his problem?

Jisung did not catch on, continuing. “So, later this week, Changbin and I are throwing a party, and I was hoping you both would like to come.”

You perked up at that piece of information. “That’s something I like to hear!” Snatching the coffee cup from your friend, you purposefully took a huge gulp. “Any specific date?”

“I was hoping Friday night.” A small sip of his drink. “We just wanted to have some fun after a difficult week, dissertations and all.” His gaze never faltered from yours. “You in?”

Chan, noticing, settled in the space previously taken, and raised a hand in objection. “Sorry, Ji. ____ and I always do something Friday night. Gotta uphold the tradition.” 

You turned to face him, a brow raised. He wasn’t wrong, in all honesty. But why did he mention it now?

Jisung, too, was a little curious. “Oh?” He fixed the strap of his bag. “I won’t get in the way, then.”

He turned, and you made to open your mouth only to have Chan press a finger to your lips. His brows were furrowed, which you matched until he left the finger as the boy looked back once more. 

“I’ll see you around, guys!” he exclaimed, eyes sliding to you before opening the door, and leaving the studio.

After a few seconds of silence, you faced your friend, who had the audacity to sigh in relief. “What the fuck was that?”

The man shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yes you do!” you finished the last of the coffee, throwing the empty cup in the bin nearby. “Why were you being such a dick to Jisung?”

“No I wasn’t,” he only said. “I was being the perfect gentleman.”

“Stop it, man!” You couldn’t believe his stupidity in the situation. “He was being so lovely, asking for your opinion on his music, inviting us to his party and shit. Why were you being so mean?” 

Chan only shook his head, turning away from you as he made to put his headphones on. You, on the other hand, were not going to be satisfied with silence, and grabbed his arm, wrenching him toward you. “Chan?!”

He turned to look at you, and you hitched in a breath — you had never really pondered over your friend’s angered face, nor really drank in his heightened features before. However, in this moment in time, with his eyes darkened, bare face twisted, frizzy morning curls all over the place, you had to stop yourself from the butterflies fluttering downwards. You’re supposed to be mad, not horny.

Your hand upon his arm — his tensed bicep, specifically — seemed almost feeble now. Still, you were glad it was on there, if only to feel his muscle bulge.

Chan studied you and your dazing, and made you jump when he guttered. “What?”

Instantly getting back to the situation, you cursed yourself silently for letting your desires try to take the reins. “I said,” you continued, trying your hardest not to be fazed by his eyes, “Why are you being such a massive prick to Ji?”

He cocked his head slightly, and if he leaned any further his lips would brush against yours. “I’m being a massive prick, ____, because he really fucking likes you.”

You felt hands upon your waist, tugging you off your seat. With a yelp you found yourself upon the man’s lap, hands encircling you fully.

Even though you looked down at him, his stare had you shaking. “And that really fucking pisses me off.”

You couldn’t suppress a shudder, an action which had not gone unnoticed. A smile ghosting his face, he craned his neck upwards, catching your lips and rendering you completely at his mercy. Your fingers went straight in his morning curls, carding through the locks as he captured your bottom lip in his, sucking on it to the point a whine escaped you, helpless and shameful. 

He left a trail of heated kisses down your throat, fingers skirting underneath your cardigan, your shirt, and savouring the skin. His mouth landed on a particular part, grazing his teeth against it as he softly nipped at the skin. Your breath quivered at each flushed kiss he branded upon you, but when his free hand began undoing the top buttons of your shirt, you finally called out his name.

“Chan!” you gasped out, shivering at the lovebites stinging your throat. It did not seem like the man would stop, unbuttoning your shirt just so he could glimpse the sliver of your lacy bra, humming with satisfaction. “Chan, w-wait!”

He paused his actions, tilting his head upwards in irritation. “Do you mind?” he asked, pouting too cutely for his words.

“Yes, I do,” you answered, wrapping your arms around his neck. “Why are you so mad, buddy?”

A harsh scoff was your reply. “Well, first of all, because you never stop calling me that.” 

You pinched the back of his neck, but when he pursed his lips, you leaned in, pressing your forehead against his. “Chan, you’re overreacting. He’s just a motherfucker trying to gain your approval.”

“I think it’s more your approval,” he countered, nuzzling his head against your shoulder. “With the way the asshole can’t keep his name out of your mouth. God! And the way he held your hand? Like you were his one and only?!”

“Jealousy isn’t a cute look on you, hun,” you mused, but in reality, you were lying through your teeth. His jealousy was like fuel to your turned on fire.

“Permission to punch him in the face?” 

“You might have to put a hold to that.” 

“Fuck.”

Raising his head, his agitation grew in his eyes as you beheld him. “He just...goddammit, he just makes me so angry at times.”

You played with his curls. “How angry?”

He held onto you tighter. “9/10.”

That certainly made you do a double take. 

9/10. A rare rating, you noticed with quite some surprise. It did reflect the fury which Jisung unintentionally ignited, but you did not realise how much it truly affected him. The two had always been friends, as far as you were concerned, but you had to admit that Chan never really felt as easy with him as he did with you.

Of course, because you were his closest friend.

“I know,” he said then, snapping you out of your thoughts. “It’s...unreasonable...but I don’t care. I really don’t give a shit.”

Clamping your lips together, you watched him look away, swaying you back and forth upon his lap. Well, you couldn’t have a dear friend sulking away when you knew Jisung meant nothing and less to you.

Suddenly, a very pleasing idea came to mind. 

“Chan,” you murmured, fingernails grazing against his neck.

 Sensing goosebumps form there, you were met with his undecipherable gaze. “Yeah?”

You brushed a chaste kiss to his forehead. “How about,” you began, trailing down to his nose, “I help…” you carried on, another kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Soothe your irritation?”

Although completely compliant to your touches, he grumbled, “The only way you can do that if you consent to me giving Jisung a broken nose.”

“Hmmm…well...” you peppered another kiss, and felt his hands wander lazily once again. “This is a very close second.”

Catching the implications dwelling in your gaze, you could have sworn the man’s breathing halted. His tongue swept along his teeth, and you had a dire wish to replicate that action with your own tongue.

“Come here, then,” he guttered.

The lower octave had you nearly squealing as you pressed your lips fully onto his, giggling when he responded with twice more ardency, the desperation lurking beneath his physique. He pried your mouth open with his tongue, swirling it along with yours as he pressed your body completely against his, refusing to let you go. 

On instinct you grinded against him, sensing the outline of his boner beneath you with no small amount of excitement. He groaned into your mouth at the friction, digging his fingers into your skin.

It was a dire shame you had to break away from the kiss, catching his disappointment. “Tease,” you heard him mumble, which had you pecking his lips quickly before sliding your own down his neck, leaving his skin altogether.

Slumping downward, you kneeled before Chan as he spread his legs before you, struggling down his black trousers till he revealed the angry outline of his erection underneath his dark boxers. You noticed, with pride, how the top of the fabric was stained with arousal. 

“I think your dick is angrier than you around Jisung right now,” you said, failing to contain your amusement. 

Chan’s eyes promised murder. “I’m so glad my cock will shut your stupid mouth up,” he jeered. 

Thank God you were kneeling, cause that comment alone would have made you fall.

Shuffling closer, you raised your hand to his boxers, feeling his clothed length between your fingers. The touch had your friend growling much too loud, a reaction you enjoyed thoroughly. 

“How about a little less teasing,” he seethed, gripping onto the arms of his chair, “And a little more sucking, baby?” 

Baby. You didn’t know why now, of all times, it struck a deep chord within you. His command had you reaching for the waistband, pulling his boxers down until his cock sprang free. 

The image had you remembering your Lord and Saviour. 

You don’t know why you kept forgetting how insanely big Chan’s cock really was. Its length was inside of you on almost a daily basis, so maybe all this foolery had finally gotten to your head. Observing it now, hard and veiny as it curved against his stomach, the only reaction you could offer was your mouth breaking its seams. 

“Staring at it won’t be enough, ____.”

Gulping, you planted one hand upon his leg, the other wrapping around the shaft. Even the slightest contact had the man hissing, making you smirk at his helplessness. Slightly gurgling, you spat on the head, lubing his member with your fingers, and then you began.

A string of groans escaped him as you commenced, a slow rhythm of pumping his cock as your hand moved up and down. The repetition was constant, neverending as Chan’s grip on his chair threatened to snap the plastic, but you dared not slow down. You knew this was not how he gained his satisfaction — he needed a perfect graduality, a refined art-like stroke or else he’d lose his high. Fortunate for him, though, you never let him down.

You increased your pumping, sensing him containing his moans. You could feel him holding back, but that didn’t stop you at all. In fact, that only had you progressing to the next step, an action that would have him screaming your name.

Shifting even closer, you spread his legs further, Chan’s eyes rooted to you as you directed the tip to your mouth. Letting your tongue free, you swept it along the shaft, and sure enough, an obscenely loud moan emitted from his truly. Chuckling, you carried on, trailing all the way up to the head and ending your journey with an ironically chaste kiss. Staring up at him, you smugly observed his lust-struck face, mouth releasing irregular breaths already. You couldn’t wait to have him curse at you.

Eyes back on the task at hand, you grabbed the base of his cock, opening your mouth. Slowly, aggravatingly slow, you sunk down, taking in inch by inch — Chan pushed his hips forward, and you nearly gagged at the impact of his head hitting the back of your throat. 

“Shi-shit baby,” he sputtered, watching you in awe at your work. “You better tell me if you don’t want your throat fucked.”

You answered him with your progression, slowly releasing his cock from your lips, tongue licking his slit before descending back on him again. You tried to be slow — you didn’t want to go straight to deepthroating, but the way Chan choked out his curses was sweet encouragement. Holding his dick still, you began bobbing your head and down, shallow at first, testing the waters.

When the man instinctively began bucking his hips, pushing his cock into your mouth further, you opened your jaw wider, taking in the remaining inches. The gag reflex kicked in like a bitch, but you refused to cease your labour as you increased your pace. Chan leaned in a little, caressing your cheeks as he rutted against your mouth.

“God, you’re fucking perfect, baby,” he cooed breathlessly. “So good for taking my cock like that.”

Unable to smile, you answered him with your hands, now playing with his balls, slapping them slightly to make him groan out in pleasure, head laid back against the chair. “I’m close, ____,” he warned, never stopping his own thrusts. You hoped he never would, when his end was so near.

Taking all of him in, you pressed your hands on his legs, urging you to look at him. With one final home run, you hollowed in your cheeks, surrounding his entire cock in your mouth as you imprisoned him with your hooded gaze.

The image of you, a beautiful ruination, was his undoing. 

Chan let out a vicious string of curses as he released, ropes of cum spilling inside your mouth. He slumped into the chair, breathing in the entire county’s worth of oxygen as all energy left him. This time, to add to his lust-driven shock, you swallowed his release, thanking your lucky stars that your friend finally listened and ate some fruit. His cum, at last, tasted more than bearable. 

After a few silent moments, the man finally raised himself from the dead, sighing as he beheld you kneeling still. “I think I can’t live without you.”

Chuckling, you heaved yourself up, legs unsteady. “That’s just your inner horny speaking,” you said, nearly falling over on your own feet. Quickly, Chan brought you back onto his lap again, creating an iron grip around you.

“Think what you like,” he began, peppering small kisses on your neck. “But your head game is stronger than my will to punch Jisung, that’s for sure.”

You hummed as he plunged his teeth upon a certain spot, pressing your legs together. “It better be.”

Finding your lips, he lazily kissed you, hands skirting higher as you move your mouth against his, never tired from his touches. 

“Have we christened the studio yet?” The man asked in between kisses, pushing his chair forward till your back hit the table. 

You shook your head no, already sensing his unbearable grin. You could not help returning his enthusiasm.

And as you both continued in your shameless arrangements, there was one thought that lingered in your head. 

There was absolutely no way you were going to that party. 

OF COURSE YOU WERE GOING TO THAT PARTY.

You looked to the building, the whole ground floor alight with different, ever-changing lights, and a dim pandemonium welcoming your ears. Your phone pinged with messages, but you dutifully ignored them, taking a deep breath as you took a step inside.

Greeted with a half-full hallway, it was not hard to find the party house, greeting awkwardly to a few drunk acquaintances before entering Jisung’s dorm. You were instantly hit by the smell of sweat and alcohol as the noise of popular music made your ears ring in discomfort. An abundance of students were cramped as they danced along to the tunes, screaming and laughing and simply enjoying themselves. 

While observing the scene, a small part of you wished your best friend was with you, an arm slung around you as he makes a comment on the specific people dancing rather terribly in the centre. You could already imagine him in his Friday attire, midnight-kissed with gold chains dangling off his belt, rings adorning his fingers and a little makeup to elevate his already exquisite features. Maybe, if you had insisted, he would have let you paint his nails, something which you adored on him. 

Fuck, you thought, searching through the crowd for a place to get a drink. Maybe you shouldn’t have come. 

You shook your head, though, beginning to squeeze through the partygoers. No. You can’t let Chan win in this.

And so you found your way to the kitchen, cans of beer, vodka and tequila stacked in broken pyramids to drink away. Just as you made to grab the Smirnoff your hand brushed against another’s. You turned to the direction, and beamed to see Jisung holding out the can for you.

“____!” he exclaimed, barely heard from the commotion yet could feel his joy radiating from him. “Don’t you have a thing with Chan on Fridays?”

“Well, that can happen every Friday, Ji, but your party was only today,” you answered him, and he was more than satisfied. 

He grabbed the same drink as yours, cracking it open as he looked at you, stare lingering upon your black dress. “I’m really glad you came, love.”

You blinked at the sudden endearment, but before you could say anything Changbin had interrupted the both of you, threatening to bring the roof down with his whining.

“Pleeease Ji, get me away from her!” he begged, holding onto Jisung’s arm and rocking it back and forth. “She keeps tryna drag me into the bedrooms and I can’t do it with her, bro!”

The boy adorned hints of irritancy, but he let himself be led by his friend, glazing at you. “Wait for me,” he requested.

His answer was a little wave, which he returned dutifully as he began to berate his friend for tearing him away from you. Raising your eyebrow, you turned back to the alcohol, finding some soda water and pouring it into the empty cups along with the Smirnoff. You would have drank the vodka straight from the bottle but you decided against drinking your tits off tonight. You didn’t really have a great desire for intoxication. 

You cursed at a few passersby as they bumped against you, nearly knocking the drink off your hands. Fixing your dress, you took the first sip, relishing the strong taste. The songs kept changing, the dancing getting wilder, and at this rate you knew someone was going to get handsy soon. 

Drinking away, you snapped the cup on the table beside you, waiting for Jisung to come back. 

Why did you even come here? 

You instantly soured at the thought.

Still, you could not help pondering further.

You should have stayed home. With him.

You groaned out loud.

It was ridiculous how you were unable to have any idea which didn’t centre around that prick. If he did not want to join you that was on him. 

Then were you feeling miserable?

Great. You poured yourself some more diluted vodka. Now you’re a full-time simp.

That helped you down the drink some more. At least this time, in fortunate circumstances, you were not a lightweight, and so were still completely aware of your surroundings. 

Aware enough to see a more tousled Jisung stagger toward you, giggling like a little child. 

You watched him lunge towards the tequila cans and crack one open, downing half the thing in one go. “Careful, Ji, or you’ll fall to your death!” you warned him, laughing as he exhaled with great exaggeration. 

He staggered to where you were standing, slumping against the wall and taking another can. “I’m so sorry!” he simpered, much too loudly for your sober ears. 

You raised a brow, about to ask him for what but he was already answering your question. “I made you wait so looong!” he dragged, drinking some more. “Look at you! Leaving you all alone.”

“Gee, thanks,” you said dryly, crossing your arms, drink still in hand. “Just say I have zero friends.” 

“Hey, don’t say that!” You were taken aback by Jisung grabbing onto your arm, pulling him to you. He looked you dead in the eyes, wide and alive. “You do not have zero friends!” he declared, louder than before. “I’m your friend.”

Your poor ears hurt like a bitch, but you smiled at his words. “Yes, indeed you are,” you said in earnest. “Thank you, Jisung.”

It was then he blinked slowly, parting his lips as his fingers upon your arm began to wander. “But I wish you didn’t think like that.”

His touch did not go unnoticed at all. You looked at him, raising a brow, but that action went unnoticed. “What do you mean?”

“Come on, you’re a smart girl,” he slurred, voice still soft and innocent as his hand travelled to your shoulder. “You know exactly what I mean.” 

Freezing up, you felt the pads of his fingers caress your face. When he tilted his head, you finally saw what he had been trying to show you since the start of the year, the emotions he was too drunk to hide any longer. 

Lust. Pure lust swirling in his eyes. 

It was like a lightbulb had finally switched on in your grape-sized brain.

“Oh my God!”

Instantly, you pressed your hands to Jisung’s chest, pushing him completely off. He nearly fell flat on his ass, but grabbed the table just in time to stagger back to balance. He glanced upwards, and you saw his eyes widen.

“____?” he got out, but you raised a finger, which he was still intelligent enough to figure out to shut up.

“Ji, what the fuck?” You slapped your drink down on the table, making him jump. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, taking another can. “But it’s the truth, damn it, and I’m tired of having to pretend all the time about it!”

Fuck, you suddenly thought, realising that you needed to get out of this crammed residence. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Jisung, look—” you started, but he groaned out loud, waving off your answer.

“No, no, I know what you’re gonna say.” He then did a terrible impression of you, simpering, “Oh, Ji, I can’t go out with you because I’m soooo in love with my best friend in the whole wide world!”

You snapped your head to his direction. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me clearly!” He finished off his nth can. “Okay, maybe it isn’t a Romeo and Juliet shit going on, but I know something is going on between you two!”

A laugh huffed out of you, but the boy was not convinced. “We’re just friends. Good friends, that’s all.”

Your answer was a hysterical bout of laughter, confusing you even further. “Come on, ____. I’m stupid, but not completely braindead.”

He took a step closer to you, careful of your hands still. “I know Chan practically adores you.”

This little statement made your shit freeze. “Stop it,” you murmured.

“Why?” he demanded. “Because I’m saying something the both of you refuse to listen to?” 

“It’s none of your business,” you snapped. “Don’t get mad because I don’t wanna go out with you.”

“I’m not mad because of that.” With one last tequila can, he grabbed it, turning on his heel. “I’m mad because the both of you keep lying to yourselves.” 

Before you could counter back, the boy stumbled away from you, hollering to the crowd to leave some space on the dance floor for him. You wondered for a second how he’d handle dancing when he could barely walk properly, but then your thoughts drifted back to the more dire subject at hand.

“Fuck,” you cursed out loud this time. 

There it was. The question you should have addressed ever since you started this arrangement with Chan.

Were you really just friends? 

You knew the question to that yourself. Both you and him had transcended past that point now, and in a horrifying realisation, you didn’t mind it that much. After experiencing his touch, his whispers, you doubt that you could ever see him as a friend again. 

But...to be more?

Fuck indeed. You had a lot to think about tonight.

“But first,” you muttered, “To be out of this stupid party.” 

Quickly, after taking two Smirnoff cans, you squeezed past the million drunkards, making your way to the exit. When you were out of the residence, you breathed in the cool night air, a rarity in these sweaty dorm rooms. 

You had a small hope, as you walked down the lanes, that Chan would be there, right at the entrance as you left, but he was not there. He had a little habit of going wherever you were supposed to be if you were not home at the expected time, worried sick if you had drank or done something more stupid than usual. 

But he was not here today. Maybe going to Jisung’s party made him extremely pissed.

There was a reason he rated it 9/10.

Soon, you were at your building, entering inside and finding your door at the very end of the hallway. Fishing out the keys, you slid them into the lock, careful of the cans, hearing the click! of the unlocking.

Your hand rested upon the doorknob. Eyes staring at the lifeless colour of the door, you closed your eyes, letting out a deep breath.

Stop worrying. Chan is your best friend.

You turned the knob.

Your best friend.

Pushed the door open. Stepped inside.

Right?

“Back so soon?” 

Your body shivered at the words. Quickly walking inside the living room, you found the back of the sofa greeting you as per usual, with Chan’s head peering on top as he watched the TV. Walking further, you noticed yours and his favourite show playing on the screen.

“Yeah, it was quite boring, but the real question is,” you began, irritation marring your features, “Why are you watching this without me?” 

He didn’t even glance back at you, nor pause the TV. “Oh, I don’t know, ____, maybe because it’s Friday night, and it’s our thing to do this every time? Do tell me if I’m wrong!”

“Shut up, Chan,” you seethed, dumping the Smirnoff on the coffee tables in front of him. “This is the one time I missed this, so stop being such a baby.”

“Oh, so you tell me to shut up,” he jeered, snapping the remote on the table, making you jump slightly. “Fine, I’ll shut up. You won’t hear a word from me again.”

You took a glimpse of his face, and caught this cold fury simmering beneath his skin. Oh no. Had you going to Jisung’s party made him this angry? It was beyond nonsensical now. Bang Chan was the most reasonable man you ever befriended.

Taking in the emotions inhabiting on his face, however, proved otherwise.

I know Chan practically adores you.

The memory brought chills all over you again. 

Making your way into the kitchen, you figured to make yourself a midnight snack, hearing the crack! of a can opening behind you. Asshole, you refused to voice out loud, but opened the fridge, taking out leftovers and heating it up in the microwave.

“Anything interesting happened, then?” you heard the dry question travel to you. 

Scoffing, you turned, taking out your food. “Oh, I thought I wasn’t hearing a word from you again.”

Your best friend’s smile was anything but sweet. “Well, I figured if you weren’t going to tell me things, I had to ask you myself.”

That snatched any faux amusement you might have harboured. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“You know what the fuck that means!” he snapped, getting up from the couch, pausing the screen. “I can’t believe you’re not telling me.”

“How about a little less attitude and a little more truth, you prick,” you rebuked, putting the cartons on the kitchen counter. 

“Fine, I’ll tell you the truth that you’re too much of a pussy to say yourself!” He thundered into the kitchen, Smirnoff still in hand. 

You backed up against the counter when he caged you with his glare. “Since when did you start going out with Jisung?”

Instantly your brows furrowed. “Who the fuck told you that?” 

“Shit, I knew that bastard wanted to get in your pants,” he roared. “And you let him use you!”

“Woah, woah, buddy, slow down there!” You raised your hands in objection. “I’m not dating Jisung!”

“What?” He took a gulp of the vodka, confusion mixing with his fury. “You’re not?”

“Of course not, the fuck?! Who told you this?”

“He—” but then the cogs turned in Chan’s head, and suddenly it made sense to him. “Oh, for Christ’s sake!”

“What happened?” you asked, but he was drinking some more, cursing himself for even believing such nonsense. “Chan?”

“That son of a bitch called me before you came,” he started, swirling his drink in the can. “And I don’t know why he did, but he kept telling me to back off from you.”

You let out a low curse, but your friend was not finished. “I told him to get some sleep, cause clearly he wasn’t right in the head, but then...he said some words which literally shut me up.”

Then, you saw him hitch in an uncertain breath. “____, he bragged that he asked you out and...and you said yes.” 

His reaction had you widening your eyes, mouth parting just a little. “And, damn it, I thought that this is why she’s so nice to this little fucker, giving him my coffee, or missing Friday night for his stupid party. Hell, even suggesting him first to be her friends-with-benefits.

“Because maybe she liked Jisung all along.”

You watched in horror as he finished his drink, crumbling the can and throwing it in the bin beside you. A shuddered breath escaped you at the explanation, but you sucked it in once more when you blinked back the sheer intensity of this man’s stare. 

“So...yeah.” He ruffled his hair, breaking the stare as he looked away, face flushing with colour. “That’s why I just...yeah.”

A small part of you melted at his words, and his now embarrassment after expressing his desperate worry for you and your potential relationship.

Still, you had some problems that needed solving. “Chan, then why were you so angry at me?!”

You crossed your arms. “You didn’t even wait to hear what I had to say on the matter.”

“I don’t know, okay?!” he exclaimed, propping his hands to his sides. “I heard Jisung saying all that bullshit, and at the time I was so pissed that…”

“I can’t believe you’d think I’d go out with him, you dumbass!”

“Well, I don’t know, he’s just such a nice guy like you keep saying, and all that flowery poetry for him just went straight into my head!” 

The situation almost seemed comical now. “Oh my God, did you really think I liked him?!

“Of course” he cried out, slapping his hands on the counter top next to you, unable to let you escape. As if you even wanted to. “Of course I thought that or else I wouldn’t be shitting my pants all night!”

“Then you’re the dumbest fucking prick I’ve ever met!” you screamed, as you grabbed hold of his hoodie, pulling him closer to you. “Because I don’t like him!

“I like you!”

“Well, I like you too, you stupid bitch!” 

The confession had you both stopping, preventing the two of you going deaf from your shouting. The whole fight was completely ridiculous, but when you looked at each other, drinking in the words that just left your lips, the realisation finally dawned on you. 

I like you too.

Well, shit. There it was.

The one thing you’d been hiding ever since you decided to fool around with him. 

Maybe this was the last way you wanted to tell him, shouting out your declaration to prove his suspicions wrong. It was almost like something out of an unfunny American sitcom — this weird, comic deflation, but at least it was out in the open now.

You had finally told him of your feelings. 

A pinch of that anger brewing within his features settled a little, hands still fisted on your sides. His eyes darted on every point of your face, as if he’s trying to memorise every inch, every detail etched upon your skin. 

Although his blatant awe made you flustered, the aching inside spoke for you. “Are you going to keep staring all night or just kiss me already?” 

God, you were such a bitch.

Chan seemed to think so too. “Nevermind, I fucking hate you,” he snarled, capturing your lips with his in an instant. You smiled against his mouth as you kissed him back with the same intensity, the same need which spread like wildfire in your body.

Kissing him should have become a routine with the amount of times you did it, but every locking of your lips with his sent you in a frenzy, lust-driven emotions spiralling out of control. You welcomed his tongue inside your mouth, the strong taste of tequila and desperation enlivening your inner workings, heightening your need for him, him, and only him.

His hands had no restrictions — the pads of his fingers had their very own needs, their own desire to feel every crevice of your body, your every curve and corner till you have no secret stored in your figure which they did not know of. You welcomed their ravaging, embraced their interrogation as they tried to uncover everything you held dear. 

Once these hands found a weakness in the form of your dress altogether, they cleverly found an opening, reaching for the end of your dress lined at your thighs. His fingers hitched the hem upwards, skirting it higher until it bunched at your waist, revealing a red, silken thong, embroidered with black thread. You relished in Chan practically salivating all over the image, but his lust slapped him out of his dazing, and hurried to get it off, hands slipping it down your legs until it was discarded on the kitchen floor. 

In an instant the man thrust two fingers inside of you, stretching your walls and creating a hypnotic rhythm of removing and inserting them back again. Your moans could bring down the whole residence, but none of you cared when Chan was scissoring you with his digits on the kitchen counter, desire radiating off his stature, and a determination to completely ruin you stark on his face. 

“M-more!” You begged, knowing you could take it, and you were rewarded with a third finger, filling you up as you cried out in pleasure. His mouth quietened you, sucking on your lower lip and then taking all of you, had you delirious, but this insanity only progressed as the thrust of his fingers hit lighting speed. 

The three digits had quickened your potential release, right on the tip of your cunt if he did not stop. “I’m g-gonna—fuck—!” 

You were interrupted as Chan’s lips left yours, trailing down to your neck, collarbone, brushing his teeth between your chest as he fell to his knees. Pulling you forward, on the edge of the countertop, he spread your legs apart, cock twitching at the drenched cunt which awaited him, like a feast displayed for a starved, wild animal. 

Looking up at you, he growled, “Cum when I say so, understand?”

Your hurried nods was all he needed as he dove right in, tongue sliding up your slit, lapping up your arousal as if it was an eternal cure. He fastened his stroke as he welcomed in his sight your clit, swiping his tongue along the bud. 

You moaned out his name like a cry for help, and he answered at first ring when his fingers still laboured, faster and faster, along with his heavenly tongue licking your clit like ice cream on a summer's day. 

“Chan, please—!” You choked out, one hand carding through the man’s hair, driving his face deeper into your cunt. “Please, I need to cum!”

Completely ignoring you, he carried on his ravishing, making you shake your legs to a point your body was beyond your control — you were at his mercy when his head was between your legs, when he prodded at your core as if it was no one else’s but his. 

When Chan brushed against your g-spot, it took every muscle in your body not to cum on his face then and there. He was being cruel; this was punishment for going to that party, justice for choosing Jisung’s company over his.

You did not know punishment felt so pain-stakingly amazing. 

Calling out his name for the last time, you knew that if the man carried on, you would go against his wishes and free yourself of the burden pushing down on your gut. Gripping onto his hair hard enough to rip right off, Chan spared a single glance at you from above, licking his lips off your mess.

“Cum for me, baby.”

That was the first time you came that night. Shaking as you freed your juices unto him, he gladly accepting the release. It was like you possessed a vessel of your release, the way you kept it inside for so long. He could never refuse though, when he knew he was responsible for driving you down that road of vulnerability. 

However, even with all of that, you still wanted more. 

And as Chan ascended on his feet, yanking his fingers out of you, he saw it in your eyes. The uncontainable passion. The unadulterated desire. 

All for him. All. For him.

Your best friend’s smile was positively wicked.

“I will completely ruin you, ____.”

He was upon you like a beast, no mercy upon your lips as he bruised them with his teeth, your pleas drowned out by his mouth as he lifted you in his arms. His kisses never ceased as he led you in his bedroom, nearly ripping the hinges at the sheer intensity of slamming his door shut. 

Throwing you on the bed, your breath whooshed out of you at the free fall, heart running miles as you witnessed Chan take his shirt off, his entire chest glistening with sweat, no doubt from the work he put in mere minutes ago. 

Upon you in seconds, his mouth robbed you of any more oxygen, prying it open as he attempted to unzip your dress from the back. Then, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your throat, he tried to loosen the zipping, but the damned thing got stuck in it’s trail, unable to satisfy. 

Letting out an angry growl, he damned the dress when, using his hands at the front, he ripped the fabric in half, completely down to the hem. 

“My dress!” You gasped out, watching him discard the torn fabric as if it were a minor inconvenience in his path.

You were cut off by his mouth, scorching you down to the bone. “I’ll buy you ten more, baby,” he muttered, skimming his hands down your bare sides.

You had the audacity to roll your eyes at his words. “Why do you keep forgetting you’re a college student?”

It seemed Chan did not take kindly to your comment. “Shut your fucking mouth,” he snapped, resulting in you leaking right onto his sheets. 

That kept you wilfully obedient, and rightfully so, when he unclipped your bra, tossing it to the side, and settled upon your breasts. Grinding his clothed cock upon your bare slit, he licked your right nipple, making you whimper out at him. His reply was swirling his finger on your left nipple, toying with your body as if it was his plaything. You would have had a right mind to shout at him if he didn’t bring such euphoria along with it. 

“Chan,” you whispered, gripping onto the sheets as he continued sucking your breasts. “Chan, I...I need you to fuck me already.”

He paused his assault on your bud, raising a groomed brow. “What do you say to that?” He asked, too calmly in a crazy situation like this. 

Of course, he wanted to make you beg. Considering you did not care the least for your self respect, or lack thereof, you completely obliged him, rutting your bare cunt upon his trousers. 

“Please, Chan. Please.”

Hearing the little pleases had him kissing you insane as he urged you to take his pants off. You willingly obeyed, tossing the clothing along with his Calvins, and when his cock sprung me you felt the inside of your mouth water at the sight. 

The man hovered just above you as he positioned his dick right at the entrance, poking between the folds. “Say the magic word, now, baby,” he commanded quietly, and just for the last time, you had to be the most annoying person in the world. 

“Donghyuck!”

The second that damned name slipped out of your mouth, you completely regretted it as instead of making sweet, slow love to you, Bang Chan thrusted his cock so hard into you your whole body flinched with the impact. You couldn’t suppress the whimper that escaped, tears settling in your eyes, but alas, your best friend had little sympathy for you. 

“Bitch,” he seethed, pulling out, widening your eyes only to have him slam his cock back into you, sending you into another universe entirely. 

You envied his strength — you could barely hold onto his arms while his grip on you could probably compete with the Earth’s gravity, stable and safe and inescapable. He imprisoned you in his hold as he pulled out slowly, and then drove back inside, but you wanted to be in this cage, to never leave his midnight eyes that offered something other than rage and lust and humour. You dared not wonder what it might be, but when you closed your eyes, your mind began to ponder, float amongst the stars of ideas and questions which defined your relationship.

As Chan began to fasten his pace, thrusts more erratic, you held onto his dark curls, mouth never refraining every moan and whine which he fucked out of you. There he was, the man who deemed you worthy of being pleasured, despite risking your decade old friendship to see you have the same advantages as any old person who was sexually frustrated.

But this man did not just give you any old advantages — he offered the whole world in his hands to you, knelt before you, fulfilled your every waking desire, held onto you before you could ever slip away into the chaos of your mind. Even now, with you getting lost into the galaxies of his eyes, it was solely his hands which were the anchor to reality, a reality he made better by his offer. 

Bang Chan, your very best friend. 

When he caught the tenderness radiating on your face, he could not help stealing a little for himself, moulding his lips upon yours as he pistoned you in the bed. It was perhaps this small warmth, along with his perfect rhythm of his cock that had you crying out, barely able to contain your second release.

You broke away from the kiss, and uttered his name like a prayer. “Chan,” you whimpered, not needing to say anything for him to realise that you were so very near.

He pressed his forehead against yours, unable to keep away from you. “Fine then,” he grumbled. “I’ll go easy on you.

“Cum for me, ____.”

The words weren’t fully out when you stained Chan’s bed with your release, pushing through the tiny spaces in your walls. He, too, let out an aggravated cry as he spilled into you, most mingling along with your cum upon the sheets. 

A heavy silence fell upon the both of you, both of your breathing harmonising with each other in the cold midnight. Chan toppled on the side of the bed next to you, closing his eyes as he breathed from his mouth, chest rising unevenly.

For minutes none of you said anything to each other, simply basking in each other’s peace. You felt the eyes of your best friend, and locked them with yours.

You decided to break the silence first. 

“I’m sorry for saying his name.”

Brilliant. Why would you mention that stupid idol once again? 

Chan, surprisingly, burst into laughter. You were caught completely off guard, but seeing his smile lighten up his face had you reflecting his happiness. 

“You are,” he rasped out, holding onto his stomach, “The most annoying bitch I’ve ever met.”

“Hey!” You exclaimed, smacking him on his arm, which he responded with threats of pushing you off the bed. “You wouldn’t dare!”

His hands were upon you in seconds, steering you at the edge of the mattress. He cackled at your shocked yelping, and you glared at him as he pushed you away from the edge, and into his arms. “Asshole,” you murmured, burying your face in his chest, which he gladly welcomed as he stroked your hair softly with his fingers. 

You both found solace in each other’s embrace for a little while before Chan let go of you. “Hey, I completely forgot, but...I got you something while you were out.”

Your eyes perked up at the idea of a gift, which the man tutted when he noticed. “Greedy whore,” he crowed, getting out of the bed as he strolled to his desk, grabbing a brown paper bag. His marble-cut ass was out for you to see, and you took full advantage, watching it with no small amount of admiration. 

“Enjoyed the view?” He asked innocently as he slithered right back into bed again, offering you the paper bag. Sticking your tongue out at him, you took the offer, opening it up to see what was so special inside.

Catching sight of the gift had you bursting into a smile.

“Chan!”

You whipped the goods out of the bag, hand on your mouth.

The man bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling too wide. “You like it?”

“You like it?” You parroted, already digging in. “Where did you even find these?”

“Oh, I visited my mom earlier in the day, and she got the cookies from the old shop,” he explained, taking one of the sweets for himself. “I instantly thought of you as she gave them to me, so I saved them for you.”

You widened your eyes in affection. These sweets may have been normal, bakery cookies, but they held a significance for the both of you: these cookies were what started the whole trend of you and Chan rating certain objects or situations for each other, and whenever you were on an academic break, you made sure to drag your friend back to our hometown, where you could always grab a dozen of your favourite snack.

“Thank you for these, bud,” you said, eating away the first cookie. “I think they’ve become better than an eight now.”

Chan hummed in agreement, finishing off his one too. Licking the crumbs off his fingers, he then turned to you, a question riddled all over his face. “Hey, ____?”

“Yeah?”

When he didn’t say anything, you focused your attention on him, propping your head on your elbow. You saw with slight surprise that his cheeks were reddening by the second.

“Chan?”

“It’s just…” he raised his hand, holding your own. “I’ve been thinking about…all of this.”

You raised your brows, refusing to reveal the dread rising in your gut. “Us?”

“Yeah, us,” he confirmed, stroking his thumb across your fingers. “Now, remember that you’ll always be my best friend, okay, like I don’t want you thinking that this would be the end of us or something—”

“Get to the point, buddy,” you hurried along, earning a glare from him.

Then, he licked his lips in anxiety, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Hand never leaving yours, he pinned you with a stare, making you even more nervous.

He parted his mouth. 

“____, would you like to go on a date with me?”

You blinked. 

Your delayed reaction had Chan groaning. “Fuck, nevermind, just forget I said anything!” He swiped his hand away from yours, holding his head in shame. “I should have kept my big mouth shut, your bad habits are really growing on me—”

“Yes.”

Your best friend paused. 

Turned, ever so slowly, towards you. 

“What?”

You could not contain your smile as you took his hand once more. “I’ll go on a date with you, you big oaf.”

For a second you truly believed you had killed off Chan with that declaration. Then, his face exploded into pure joy, and he tackled you in a massive hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck.

“Oh my fucking God!” he cursed, “Don’t do that to me again!”

You laughed heartily as you put him at arms’ length. “You were the one doing mental gymnastics!” 

Refusing still to let go of you, he played with your hair as he clamped on his lips. “One more thing.”

“Shoot.”

“How good was I?” He looked at you, a vulnerable expression etched onto his beautiful features. “You know...with all of this.”

You stared at him, drinking in his face, his every detail, as if you had all the time in the world. Firstly, you had a right mind to pull his leg one more time, but you feared that if you made fun of him again, he might die of a heart attack.

And you still had many more years of tormenting your best friend.

So you brought him towards you, pressing your lips onto his. He seemed very much obliged to go deeper, but you pulled away just as quickly, offering him a ghost of a smile.

“I think you were a 10/10,” you whispered. “From start till finish.”

Hearing the score, and sensing your sincerity along with it, had him in near tears. He enveloped your mouth with his, backing you against the divan as he expressed his affection within the rhythm of his lips. 

When he pulled away, still mere inches from you, he said the words he’d been meaning to say since the day he first laid eyes on you — since the day you two contacted this system, since the day he knew your rating as if he knew his own name.

“Well, baby, you’ve always been a 10/10 for me.”

#stray kids smut #bang chan smut #stray kids oneshot #bang chan imagines #bang chan oneshot #bang chan fluff #bang chan x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids dark hours #bang chan dark hours #bang chan hard hours #stray kids hard hours

[helloalycia]

The Wrong Lifetime — Epilogue // Wanda Maximoff

chapter fourteen | story masterlist | main masterlist | wattpad

author’s note: the final part is here! thanks again to everyone who stuck around with this fic, i really appreciate it 😊💗 now enjoy!!

The sound of a rooster crowing pulled me from my slumber and I groaned when I realised I definitely wasn't getting back to bed anytime soon.

Quiet laughter came from beside me and I didn't have to open my eyes to know that Wanda was finding my disgruntled self entertaining.

"I said yes to the chickens," I mumbled tiredly, not opening my eyes as I stupidly thought it would let me contain my sleep for a little bit longer, "but I should have drawn the line at the rooster."

Her fingers grasped my shoulder as she rolled over to hover above me. I squinted through my tired eyes, seeing the amused smile on her lips as she looked down at me. Despite how much of a morning person I wasn't, I appreciated how beautiful she looked with bed hair and a nightie.

"Shut up," she said jokingly, and I closed my eyes again. "You love them."

I rolled my eyes beneath closed lids. "I'd love to cook them, sure."

She slapped my shoulder gently. "Don't talk about Nikolai, Vanya and Sonia like that!"

A smile ghosted my lips. The first thing she'd done when getting the damn chickens was name them the most Sokovian names she could think of – I shouldn't have expected anything less. Though, now it meant she was extremely attached to them.

"My apologies, love," I mumbled.

She hummed disapprovingly before putting her whole body weight on top of me and hugging me. I sighed contently, resting an arm around her waist and appreciating the feeling of her so close to me. I could have fallen back asleep in this position if it wasn't for Wanda's wide-awake, curious self. Why did she have to be such a morning person?

"So, what are your plans for today?" she asked, fingers scratching against my shoulder blade tenderly.

I exhaled calmly. "I'm going to attempt to fall back asleep right now... then I'll let you know afterwards when I wake up."

She didn't say anything after that, and I was stupid to believe I'd gotten away with it because she suddenly got up and straddled me, jumping up slightly and startling me awake.

"Wake up!" she ordered, too hyper for my sleepy self.

I groaned, rubbing my eyes and finally opening them to see her looking down at me with a grin, hair falling around her face. There was a hint of annoyance in my expression as I narrowed my eyes, but she ignored it as she rested her hands on my chest.

"I hate you," I muttered.

"You're up now, so let's do something," she insisted, making me roll my eyes. "We should go on a walk. It's pretty outside. The sun's rising and it'll be fun!"

The sun's rising because its bloody dawn and that damn rooster crows at the same time every day, leaving me disgruntled and annoyed.

But of course, I didn't have the energy to explain that to Wanda, so I simply shook my head and closed my eyes. "Maybe tomorrow, Wanda."

She suddenly leaned down, jolting me slightly and making me open my eyes. She was inches away from my face as she pouted.

"Not tomorrow, now!" she exclaimed loudly, before leaning forward and peppering kisses all over my face.

I sighed, keeping her stable by resting a hand on her waist, but not appreciating the fact that falling asleep would definitely be a challenge now.

"I love you, Wanda, but please keep it down," I said quietly, still not used to her energy so early in the morning.

"Tell me what I can do to wake you up," she said sternly, stopping kissing me and sitting upright again.

"Absolutely nothing, love."

"Oh? Nothing?"

I hummed and closed my eyes again, getting used to her weight on top of me and deciding I could probably fall back asleep if she was quiet long enough. Wishful thinking, of course.

Her fingers found mine and she slowly lifted my hand, putting it underneath her dress and on her thigh. I knew what she was doing – it was cute – but it wouldn't work.

Not even bothering to open my eyes, I said, "Wanda, darling, we've been together for three years. I am able to resist your charm, believe it or not."

"Really?" she asked challengingly, letting go of my hand and resting hers on my shoulders. "I don't believe you."

Before I could counter her with a response, she leaned down and began nibbling on my ear softly. It was a sensation I was familiar with, but I refused to let her get her way, so I ignored her stubbornly. She knew me too well though, as she let go of my ear and trailed kisses down my neck before sucking on the skin sensually. Admittedly, I was a lot more awake then I was thirty seconds ago, definitely aroused by the gorgeous woman on top of me, but she couldn't win this. Not when she was playing very unfairly.

"Wanda," I said with a warning tone, squeezing her thigh and signalling for her to stop.

I should have figured that would provoke her even more, as she manoeuvred herself so her knee was now pressing between my legs. I'm ashamed to admit that I gasped into her shoulder at the sudden pressure, and judging from the quiet laugh she let out, she was very much aware of the effect she had on me.

"I told you you couldn't resist," she said knowingly, raising her head from my neck so she could meet my eyes.

Hers were darkened with pleasure and mischievousness, darting to my lips. I glared at her.

"I really hate you."

She shook her head, tongue wetting her lips, as a playful smirk stared down at me. "No you don't. Now lose the nightdress, moya lyubov' (my love)."

I tried to retort, but she closed the gap between us, lips capturing mine in a heated kiss. I definitely didn't mind being woken up like this...

—

After actually getting out of bed, I reluctantly agreed to go on a walk with Wanda, strolling around our premises and making the most of the countryside we lived in. As much as I didn't want to admit, I was glad she'd dragged me outside, since the morning stroll only made me appreciate our home more.

When we returned, Wanda went to her studio whilst I made us some tea in the kitchen, hoping to warm us up after the slight chill in the Autumn air. I joined her soon enough, smiling when I saw how involved she was with her work in no time. The studio was big enough for her to make a mess and it not seem so messy since it was spacious enough. I shouldn't have expected any different – Wanda couldn't tidy up to save her life.

"One day I'm going trip over your things," I announced as I stepped over some loose materials by the door, teacup and saucer in hand.

She chuckled, though her attention was still on her painting. "When that day finally comes, I'll clean up. Promise."

"Of course," I muttered sarcastically.

I stopped behind her and studied the painting she was working on. It was a close-up of a flower bed, with intricate details being put in the flowers themselves and ladybirds flying around. Wanda sensed my presence and accepted the tea from my hand, smiling at me gratefully before blowing on it to cool it down.

"Is this that commission you got last week?" I asked curiously.

She nodded, unaware of the paint streaks on her face. I rested a hand on her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, smiling at how adorable she was.

"The guy is paying double for me to put twelve ladybirds in the painting," she explained with amusement. "He wants to be able to count every single one."

I snorted with laughter. "Wow. That's very strange."

She shrugged, though I knew she was thinking the same. "A commission's a commission... is it evil if I only put eleven in?"

I laughed, nodding. She glanced up at me with a bright smile on her lips.

"It's very evil," I told her, before squeezing her shoulder.

She grabbed my hand on her shoulder, holding it comfortingly. "D'you want to do some gardening later?"

"Sure. I've just gotta do some work on my manuscript first. The writer's block is real."

"Of course," she said, giving me a knowing look. "Best-selling authors don't just become best-selling authors without putting in the work."

I rolled my eyes at her comment, but a smile played on my lips. "I'm leaving now."

She chuckled and I pressed a kiss to her cheek, trying not to get paint on my lips.

"Good luck with the writing," she said as I began to leave.

"And you with the painting," I called back.

Today was nothing special – probably a regular day when it came to Wanda and I's lives – but it made me smile. If the past three years had taught me anything, it was to be grateful for the mundane.

After Wanda broke things off with Y/B/N, it took a while for both of our families to recuperate. In their eyes, Y/B/N had broken things off because he wasn't interested in Wanda anymore, hence our parents' reaction. And Wanda's parents were upset because they believed it was her fault that Y/B/N wasn't interested, hence their reaction.

Our relationship with the Maximoffs was inescapable though, since Y/B/N and I were authors of theirs, so we had to mend what was broken. The only person who knew the truth about Wanda breaking it off with Y/B/N, apart from me and him, was Pietro. He didn't know why, but he knew that it was Wanda's choice.

After things calmed down between our families and everybody's anger had faded, around about the time that my second book was released, I'd saved enough money from the sales to buy a place of my own. With my father's help, I was able to buy a cottage in the countryside – the perfect place for privacy and to do my writing.

It was surprising that I got help from my dad, since I half expected him to be against the idea. But he was so proud of me for achieving all I had that he was happy to help. So, I got my own place and the first thing I did was invite Wanda to live with me. Nobody really saw it as more than two friends living together, especially since Wanda had started selling her paintings under a male pseudonym. Her parents were only reluctant because they wanted her to get married, but after she told them that she didn't want to and stood her ground, they left her alone.

I think they realised that they couldn't exactly stop her, and if they tried to, they'd lose their daughter in the process. So, to Wanda and I's excitement, we were moving in together...

"Are we there yet?" Wanda asked for the millionth time.

"Terpeniye (patience)," I told her, and felt her smile beneath my hands that were covering her eyes.

"Nice pronunciation," she commented, and I couldn't tell if she was teasing or not.

We finally stopped before the cottage and I was buzzing with excitement. I'd chosen it with Wanda in mind, a surprise for her, since I knew she'd only ever wanted to live in a place like this. What better way to give her that then now with me?

"Okay, this is it," I announced, removing my hands from her face.

I stepped beside her, leaning forward to see her reaction. She was raising her eyebrows with surprise, taking in the appearance of the front of the cottage. It was in a lovely field with tall trees and colourful flowers surrounding it. Vines had overgrown the bricks, but it looked stunning and I hoped Wanda would think the same.

Her lips curved upwards into a grin of disbelief. "This is it? This is ours?"

I pulled the key from my pocket and held it out towards her. "It is. All ours."

She laughed wholeheartedly, jumping up with excitement before grabbing the key and pulling me into a hug. I laughed alongside her, returning the hug, before pressing a kiss to her cheek and motioning to the door.

"Do the honours and I'll show you around," I told her with a smile.

She was practically beaming as she moved to the door, opening it. Her excitement only intensified when she saw the living-room it extended into, a large fireplace in the centre of the back wall and the furniture already in place.

"We can change the décor," I told her as I showed her around. "This came with the place, but we can change it up to however we want."

"I love it."

I intertwined our fingers, admiring the sparkle of delight in her blue eyes as she looked around the place eagerly. That was the look that made this whole thing worth it.

"You've not even see the best bit," I said, before tugging her into the hallway. "There's a kitchen and our bedroom and of course, a study for me, but this is the bit I know you'll love."

She watched with curiosity but allowed me to skip the other rooms and show her the room that I envisioned as her art studio. It was a spacious room, filled with random, old furniture from the previous owners, but I ignored it and stepped further inside, facing Wanda.

"This can be your studio!" I exclaimed, motioning around me. "Look, here can be where your desk can be." I pointed to the left wall, the space in front of it. "You can get some shelves put here for your supplies. And here–" I pointed to the space before the window at the back, "–is where you can paint on your easels. The natural light will be perfect!"

She followed my every move, hanging onto my every word, and nodded along with a joyful expression.

"I can't believe you've already thought about it," she admitted.

"Come here," I said, waving my hand for her to join me. She did and I wrapped an arm around her waist, stopping before the window. "You see that?"

"The perfect view," she realised, eyes wide as they took in the view of the garden, which I planned to show her next. "It's beautiful."

"You can paint everything there," I said with a nod. "The trees. The flowers. And this place isn't far from the train station, so we can take some day trips, too."

She leaned into my side gratefully. "Y/N, I love it. All of it."

My heart fluttered as she said that, it being all I wanted to hear.

"We can also get the coop for the chickens you wanted," I reminded her, before pointing out the window. "Right there. We'll get fresh eggs and they're cute – what's not to love?"

She pulled apart, arms still laced around me, and I waited to see what she thought. Her eyes twinkled in the sunlight coming from the window, matching the smile on her lips. Then she moved forward quickly, kissing me hard and leaving me no chance to react before she pulled away.

"I have no words," she said softly, caressing my cheek. "I'm so grateful."

My face was warm as I smiled shyly. "I'm glad. You know I'd do anything for you."

Her smile widened as she leaned in again. "Thank you."

Moving in with her was the best thing to happen to me, and my dream of being published had come true, so that was saying a lot. We both knew we could never get married and be together in public, but this was the next best thing. We had our own little slice of heaven to merely be, and it was perfect. She could paint as much as she liked and I could write as much as I liked, the two of us making a living and not having to rely on husbands we didn't love.

The only people who knew about the truth of our relationship was Steve. I knew I could never trust my family with the truth, knowing liking women was very different to becoming a writer. So, I was content with them living in denial about why Wanda and I lived together. Wanda was the same with her parents, but it was a few months into moving in when she decided she wanted to tell Pietro.

I was obviously hesitant, since Pietro was a standup guy, the reason I was even as successful as I was, but I wasn't sure if he'd be okay with discovering his sister liked women and I was the one she was with. Wanda was certain he'd understand though, since he was her twin and would only want the best for her. Plus, according to her, he loved me, so he wouldn't have a problem with it.

He was her twin at the end of the day, and nobody knew him better than her, so I trusted her to tell him and decided we could do it at dinner, inviting both him, Steve and Peggy over. Peggy didn't know about Wanda and I either, but I wanted to tell her, so we decided to do it together...

"We've been here three times and it still makes me jealous how peaceful it is," Peggy complimented as the five of us sat around the kitchen table. "No annoying neighbours. No nosy townspeople. It's perfect."

"Thank you," Wanda said with a friendly smile. "That's why we love it, too."

"Are you all finished?" I asked, standing up to grab mine and Wanda's plates.

"Oh, please, let me help," Pietro offered, about to stand up, but I shook my head.

"It's okay, I've got it," I politely declined, before stacking the plates together to take to the sink.

I glanced at Wanda and she gave me a knowing look before clearing her throat and looking to her brother.

"Piet, can you help me with something in my studio?" she asked him casually. "There's a lightbulb I can't quite reach."

He nodded and wiped his face with his napkin. "Er, sure." He looked to everyone else. "If you'll excuse me."

The two of them left the kitchen, leaving me with Steve and Peggy. I distracted myself with putting the plates in the sink before popping the kettle on, knowing they'd want tea.

"Dinner was lovely, Y/N, thank you for tonight," Steve started, easing the tension he knew I was feeling. I'd told him my intentions before inviting them and he was completely okay with the idea. "You and Wanda seem to be more and more comfortable every time we come here."

I leaned against the counter as I smiled gratefully at him, knowing he was giving me an opening to tell Peggy the truth.

"Yeah, we are," I said, eyes flickering to Peggy's as she watched on with interest. "We, er..."

My mouth went dry as the words I'd practiced in the mirror this morning escaped me. I'd only ever told Steve about Wanda and I, and that was by accident. I knew Peggy wouldn't judge me, but it was still terrifying to admit.

"Y/N, sweetie, are you okay?" Peggy asked, a hint of concern in her voice.

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes, sorry..." I just had to say it. No more overthinking. "Wanda and I are together. As more than more friends. I'm in love with her."

Peggy raised her brows with surprise, barely believing it, but then she glanced at Steve and knew I was being serious. I let out a breath of relief, glad that I'd finally said it.

She stood up from her seat and I was half-afraid she'd leave altogether, but she didn't. She walked to me and pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me gently.

"Thank you for trusting me with such an important thing," she said, pulling away and smiling at me gently. "I guess it makes sense. You both compliment each other well and make each other happy. It's beautiful to see."

"Thank you," I said, returning her smile. "That means a lot coming from you."

She nodded and glanced at her husband. "I take it Steve already knew."

He raised his hands in defence. "Hey, I basically figured it out myself!"

She rolled her eyes playfully and I couldn't help but laugh.

"He did," I backed him up. "And he was the only person to know, so I owe him a lot. He gave me the support I wanted when I had nobody else."

Peggy smiled endearingly at Steve before looking to me with kind eyes. "Well, now you're not alone. You have me, too."

"I know. I'm glad."

"Does anybody else know? Or is it just Steve and I?" she asked hesitantly.

"Just you two," I explained. "My family would never understand. Especially with Wanda and her history with my brother. Same with her family. But she's actually telling Pietro about us now. I can only hope he'll take it well."

Peggy was certain as she said, "I'm sure he will."

I made tea for all of us and joined Peggy and Steve at the table as we waited for the Maximoff twins' return. Eventually, Wanda returned with her brother in tow and judging by the smile on her face, I could only hope it went well. Though I noticed the tear streaks on her cheeks and joined her side with mild concern.

"Are you okay?" I asked, grabbing her hand, but I didn't get chance to hear a response as I felt myself being lifted off the ground.

"Y/N!" Pietro exclaimed in my ear, hugging me from behind. "Welcome to the family, sestra (sister)!"

He set me down and stepped beside his sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and tugging her close. A grin was directed my way as Wanda's cheeks dusted pink. She was glowing with happiness, her brother's opinion mattering the most, and it warmed my heart to witness.

"I see things went well," I noticed, before smiling at Pietro. "Thank you, Pietro. It means a lot to have your support. Though you know this doesn't make me your sister, right?"

"Yet," he pointed out, making me sigh. "You know, I always suspected you had the hots for my sister, but I could never be sure."

Now it was my turn to flush with embarrassment, especially when Steve and Peggy laughed from the sidelines.

"Wanda's happiness is all that matters to me," he continued, looking to his sister with a genuine smile. "I'm glad she picked the right Y/L/N."

I chuckled awkwardly, eyes falling to a nervous Wanda. "Me and you both, mate." He laughed, patting me on the back, and I gave him an appreciative nod. "Seriously, though, thank you, Pietro. Your approval means a lot."

"No problem," he said with a shrug. "I'm always here if you need me."

"As are we," Peggy added, before looking to Wanda. "Both of you. Anything you need, ever, just let us know. It's what we're here for."

"Thank you," Wanda said for both of us, and when she looked my way, I knew she was thinking the same thing I was.

We were lucky that the most important people in our lives knew the truth about us and were supportive. We couldn't have asked for anything more.

—

As promised, after spending the morning on my manuscript and Wanda with her commission, we went into the garden to do some gardening. And by we, I meant I was doing it as she attempted to help out beside me.

"Hey, I think there's something stuck here," Wanda said, fingers stuck in a pot of soil.

"Then pull it out," I said like it was obvious, trying not to laugh.

I continued to rake the plant beds before me so I could eventually plant some vegetable seeds when Wanda's adamant voice spoke up again.

"I think you should check it out, Y/N, I can't seem to get it."

"Wanda..."

"Come on!" she insisted, and I sighed dramatically before dropping my rake and heading towards her.

Kneeling down beside her, I took a peek in the plant pot and put my hand in, rooting around until my fingers found something metal.

"It seems to be a ring," I realised, pulling it out and dusting the soil off it. "Maybe the suppliers of the soil dropped it in accidentally. Or maybe a bird dropped it in the pot without you realising..." I chewed on my lip with thought. "Huh. Well, here you go."

I gave it back to Wanda and prepared myself to stand back up, but Wanda groaned and facepalmed.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" I asked with an amused smile.

She looked up at me through parted fingers. "It's my ring."

"How many times have I told you to stop wearing rings when we're gardening?!" I said questioningly, shaking my head. "Stuff like this always happens!"

She rolled her eyes and looked up to the sky. "Why am I in love with an idiot?"

"Wanda–"

"It's for you," she said, holding out the ring.

I furrowed my brows. "Well, why didn't you just– wait." My eyes widened as I realised what she was implying, feeling stupid for not realising sooner. "Is this– are you– huh?"

Wanda swallowed nervously before clutching the ring tightly and meeting my gaze. "I've been in love with you for a long time, you know that," she said softly, her accent thick with emotion. "The time we've spent here in our little safe haven has been the best of my life. And I... I know we live in a world that won't let us be together. But that hasn't stopped us."

My heart was hammering in my chest as Wanda offered me a small, nervous smile. We'd never talked about marriage since we were so content in our little bubble, but clearly she'd thought about it without me knowing. I guess I had, too. But I never expected either of us to do anything about it.

"I know we can never really be married, but what is marriage if not a union between two people who are in love anyway? I mean, we basically already have that." She snickered to ease her nerves, then licked her lips shakily, eyes tearing up. "I'm asking you to marry me and if you say yes, I'll know you're my wife and that's all that'll matter... so Y/N Y/L/N. Will you marry me?"

I didn't even need to think about it. Wanda was the love of my life and just like she'd said, the past three years had been the best. We could never truly be married in the eyes of the world, but she'd be my wife and that would be enough. She'd always be enough.

"Of course I will, Wanda," I answered, tears of happiness slipping from my eyes.

She raised her eyebrows. "Yes? You said yes?"

I laughed, nodding, and leaned forward to kiss her. She returned the favour, salty tears mingling between our lips, but it didn't matter because she was going to be my wife and that's all I could think about.

Our smiles broke the kiss and I wiped her tears away with my thumb before pressing another kiss to her lips.

"Here, let me put this on you," she said between laughter, hands fumbling as she tried to find mine.

I put out my hand and let her slide the ring on my finger. It was a simple silver band with a small, elegant gemstone sat on top, perfect for someone like me who didn't like anything too flashy.

"It's beautiful, Wanda, thank you," I said, smiling through my tears.

"I've been wanting to ask you for a while, but I wasn't sure you'd say yes," she admitted.

"Are you joking? Why wouldn't I?" I asked with an exploding happiness in my chest. "I'm so bloody in love with you, Wanda Maximoff."

She laced our fingers together as she nodded in agreement. "That's good. Because I'm in love with you, too."

And when she said that, it wasn't unlike anything she'd told me before. If she wasn't telling me she loved me, she was showing me in all sorts of ways. But this was different... this was the first time she'd told me as my fiancé. And then she'd soon be my wife. And it made me realise.

I'd spent so long thinking that if we were in a different life, we could have had it all. But we were getting it all now, so maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the wrong lifetime after all.

FIN.

#wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #wanda maximoff #mcu #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x you #elizabeth olsen x reader #scarlet witch #scarlet witch imagine

[mrkcore]

“how much longer are you going to make me wait?” tears are streaming down your face as you raise your voice. renjun’s paint brush stops, and so does he.

“you said soon, that was a year ago!” tears are flooding your eyes once again. “you’re not communicating with me, we don’t spend time together anymore, hell, we’re barely even talking. all you’re doing all day is sitting in this damn studio and painting.”

“i’ve had an artist block, darling, i-”

“you’ve had this block for god knows how long, what happened to you?”

renjun can’t turn around. he wants to, he really does, but he can’t.

he knows he’s been in this slump for too long. his agent has been calling nonstop, he’s missed dozens of deadlines, and he’s missed plenty more art shows to get his works displayed.

“i don’t know.” renjun croaks, head hanging.

“are you kidding me?” you hissed. from the tone of your voice, renjun can tell you’re angry. “what kind of shit answer is that? don’t you think i deserve a fair answer?”

“i’m sorry, i know. y/n, i really am trying. please believe me.” 

“what if it’s just not working anymore?” renjun’s heart sinks and he whips his head around. 

“what is that supposed to mean?” he glowers. 

you didn’t mean to blurt it out.

“you, painting, what if it’s over? have you ever thought about maybe that’s why?” your tone seems articulated, but you’re shaking and you know that renjun knows too.

“so what you’re suggesting is that i was like some sort of one shot wonder?” he argued furiously.

“maybe your creative juices ran out. your time is up.”

you’re bluffing. 

you know what renjun is capable of, his beautiful paintings, strokes delicately caressed the canvas, depicting vast emotions and things you’d never think of. 

but you’re just so pent up, you can’t stop.

“never thought the person who was behind me, the one who always supported me, could ever say this to me.” he scowls. you want to take everything back, but your brain and lips don’t coordinate.

“that was before you made me wait a year until you were ‘financially stable’ enough for us.” you reminded him. “now when is that?”

that struck a nerve.

“i-, i don’t know.” renjun stutters out, seemingly demoralized by your reminder.

“renjun, how can you say that, and think that this is all fair to me? i’ve been waiting for you for so long, and you’re holding me back from so many things and opportunities. so if this is how this conversation is going to go, there’s no use in me being here anymore.” you say, making renjun freeze. 

what is that supposed to mean?

“i’m putting the ring on the table and i’m going to walk out the front door.” 

no no no no.

“if you follow me out, it means that we’re going to continue on, like we were before,” you start. renjun’s emotions are all over the place. “however, you’re going to get an actual job, and our wedding will go as planned in august.”

you should stop.

this isn’t what you wanted either, but why does your mouth have a mind of its own?

“if you don’t follow me out, that means you chose painting. and i’ll be going, living my own life, and we won’t meet again.”

and you walk out.

hoping that renjun will follow you out, putting the ring back on your finger. the finger that feels extremely empty.

but while walking towards your own apartment, you don’t look back.

until you reach the front of the museum that renjun had his first painting displayed at. oh how you remember the excitement you had, and the joy on his face while walking around the exhibit, admiring the other artists’ creations.

you waited for a few minutes, thinking maybe renjun was just slow, and will come soon.

but he never did.

the realization that hits you feels cold.

you never meant to blow up at renjun like that, but it happened. and you don’t think you can go back to him after hurting him so much. so that’s what you did. you left.

2   Y E A R S   L A T E R

another tinder man, another tinder date.

it took you a while to move on from renjun. as expected, since the two of your dated for 6 years. you didn’t look him up, you didn’t stalk him, because you knew that you needed to move on.

the first year and a half was agony, but you couldn’t tell anyone that. 

you felt incomplete when you woke up. the warmth that he provided, never showed up again.

but you still had a life, you needed to move on. 

your work life is going pretty smoothly, but the same can’t be said for your love life.

so you’ve resorted to tinder.

you’ve had many failed dates, many failed talking stages, you get the gist. but after months of talking to dejun, you think you’ve hit it off. (and yes, it really was a coincidence, you swear)

planning the date, he said it was going to be a surprise, so this was like the make or break for you. if he takes you to a sketchy bar, you’re going to break it off (known from past experience), but anything that is similar to what a normal date is, you really think it’s going to work out.

“surprise!” dejun says, handing you tickets to what seems like an art exhibit when you two walk into the museum nearby. “i saw a few of huang renjun’s early paintings on your walls. i’m a fan too, and it was so nice seeing someone appreciate his older works. coincidence that he was doing an exhibit this weekend, so i snatched some tickets.” he smiles.

you try to smile back, but you’re speechless, you feel numb and you can’t move your limbs anymore.

he notices the change in your mood and is immediately worried.

“are you feeling alright? oh maybe it’s the exhibit, we don’t have to go if you don’t want to, i totally get it if you don’t, sorry if i pushed this onto you.” he tries to reassure you.

“oh, haha, no it’s fine, i was just surprised! yeah i’m a big fan of renjun too so that’s why i was so shocked.” you tried to brush it off, and hopefully your act is convincing enough to get through the showing.

“okay great! it seems like renjun is here today to present his latest collection since he’s giving it to the gallery.” dejun exclaimed, obviously very excited.

but your stomach drops.

renjun is going to be here today?

there’s a lot of people here today, maybe he won’t see you in the crowd.

just your luck.

for your birthdays, anniversaries, pretty much everything worth celebrating over, renjun painted you a canvas of what he was working on recently. they were the start to final products, and you took pride in having the creative process, and kept them all. you never took down those mockups of renjun’s paintings because they felt so homely, and you had forgotten about them. it was a wonder that dejun didn’t notice how they were slightly different from the final products.

but your thoughts are interrupted as you’re escorted into a room with a stage and chairs.

you and dejun get seated as all of the other chairs get filled.

the atmosphere goes quiet suddenly, and you look up to see renjun, and a girl on his arm, walking into the room.

a familiar cold fills the room. 

you zone out during his thank you speech, as he thanks his agent, his mother, his new fiance, and the museum. but you don’t want to hear it.

“and i’d like to thank a special someone, who will not be named, who helped me start this collection.” you look up, and renjun is staring right at you.

“they helped me get out of a nasty painting block, and provided me with so much more inspiration and growth. so thank you.” he finishes with a smile, all while still looking at you.

everything blurs to the showing of his pieces in the collection.

and for some reason, it feels familiar.

the yellows on the canvas danced freely in the first work, it looked so beautiful and comfortable; but when you got to the second one, blues and blacks and reds intruded the painting, and you felt yourself getting teared up.

maybe because you’ve known renjun for so long and seen his paintings so much, that you understand what the painting meant, and it will probably haunt you for the rest of your life. 

but while moving onto the next few paintings, the blues and blacks and reds slowly faded, and a new colour abruptly pops up and the yellow disappears.

pink.

this is the first time you’ve seen renjun work with pink, and that must be something since you’ve known him since high school art class.

and you understand.

you follow dejun around to see the works closer, and you try to sink everything in, without getting visibly emotional. that would be something hard to get yourself out of.

you can’t hold yourself back from glancing at renjun, and his fiance.

she smiles happily as renjun shakes the hand of the museum director.

you’re not sure if renjun was actually looking at you while he said his speech, or even recognized you at all in the crowd, but it was impossible to not be selfish.

the progression of his works, discretely telling you that he’s moved on and that you should too.

but you can’t help but think, that should have been you, standing next to him happily wrapped around his finger as he talks about his paintings.

it would have all happened, if only you had waited.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: huang renjun x f!reader

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: artist!renjun

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: angst

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): one swear word

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.6k (wow :0)

𝐚/𝐧: out of my own artist slump, i missed writing angst, i feel a bit musty. hope u enjoyed :)

i’d really like some feedback so feel free to reblog or comment anything about this one :D

send in an ask or comment here to be added to the oneshots taglist! 

© mrkcore. 2021 — reposts of my work is not permitted.

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