#cw noncon in the context of mythology

[yurileclercseyeliner]

Okay I need y’all to come with me on this awful/amazing ride of a thought that I just had. Also sorry for the novel I’m on mobile and can’t add a cut.

I was thinking about Fire Emblem beast units and was thought, “Huh, if/when they appear in future games what animal would they shift into?” bc we’ve already had big cats, multiple kinds of bird, bunnies, dragons, kitsunes, wolves, all that jazz. Then, a small fixation that I have had recently appeared in my brain and refused to leave.

Selkies.

“Ches what the fuck?” you say, “Are you saying you just want Selkie, Kaden’s daughter from Fire Emblem Fates to be a beast unit in a future game? She’s already in Fates!”

To which I say no, sweet user of tumblr dot com, SELKIES.

(Image taken from Wikimedia commons, oh my god it took me way too long to find an image of a selkie that didn’t have their titties out like I get why they are depicted that way with the context but for fuck’s sake I’m trying not to get my stupid Fire Emblem post taken down. Also dang this image is extremely low quality. Anyway if you’re so inclined Google a picture yourself.)

“Ches,” you say, “What the fuck is a selkie?”

Alrighty, a selkie is a mythical creature from Scottish folklore. Most of the time they are depicted as women, but male selkies are known to exist in the folklore as well. They are often said to have otherworldly beauty. For those who have amazing taste you may remember that they are the centerpiece of the story of the animated film Song of the Sea. Their entire deal is that they are shapeshifters that can change from human to seal by putting on and taking off a sealskin. As a result they can live in and out of the water, but a lot of them prefer to live in the ocean bc it calls to them. They do often come on shore to play around on the beach tho, and this is where the mythology gets a little depressing.

(BIG OL’ TRIGGER WARNING FOR NONCONSENSUAL RELATIONSHIPS IN THE CONTEXT OF MYTHOLOGY)

Basically to return to the sea selkies need their skins, and if it were stolen they would be forced to stay with the thieves. This of course led to some nasty men stealing the sealskins of selkie women while they were having some beach time in order to force them to be their wives, and no matter what happens in the end of the story nobody is really happy.

(OKAY TW OVER)

There are a ton of other details, but those are the basics. But today I am not focusing on forced mythical marriages and the depressing aspects of it, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT A SEAL BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF A BERSERKER.

“Ches, you sentient makeup product,” you say, confused, “How the hell is that supposed to work?”

My answer is...incredibly stupid.

Like for one I think that they would be much larger than the average seal, much like how taguel are much larger than the average rabbit. And if any of you have seen how a seal moves they just kind of bounce around to where they need to go, so these seal beast units would just...bounce...and then hit their enemy in the face...maybe bite them if they can reach it...

Does it make much sense?

I don’t know.

Do I have any idea of how a tribe of seals who need to near water a large amount of time could be incorporated into a Fire Emblem story, especially if one joins the roster of units?

Absolutely not.

But do I think that the idea of a seal bouncing up and smacking a great knight off of their horse with their tail is the funniest thing ever?

ABSOLUTELY.

Anyway their victory pose is the banana pose have a nice day.

(Image from a Buzzfeed article I found in Google images)

#fire emblem #fire emblem heroes #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem fates #fire emblem radiant dawn #fire emblem path of radiance #fire emblem three houses #cw mention of noncon relationships #cw noncon in the context of mythology #anyways also imagine a seal in the feh chibi style. imagine it. #selkie #selkies