#cuz oh look here’s my friend with a deformity

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

How about the towns people reacting to the farmer who despises joja. Like, think about it. The farmer left their soul sucking office job at joja behind only to see them again right across the bridge. I bet they would support the community centre out of spite.

They are normally a friendly and sweet person but the moment joja comes into the conversation they snap a little. Morris talks to them and their left eye twitches rapidly cuz this guy reminds them way too much of their old boss. They have dark dreams about the blinking lights of the work and rest lights and the bosses looming over them through the glass in their office.

Locals swear they see the light disappear from their eyes whenever they accidentally fish up a joja can.

Oh man, That's just about a perfect description of my OC Farmer. He is by nature a very kind and patient man, but every time he sees JojaMart, catching more trash with that logo on it, or sees people who use every means, even mean ones (remember that scene with Morris), to destroy the competition and become monopolists, he gets very sarcastic. Sometimes, it can be just pure rage.

But let's not talk about my OC, because the question here is about a neutral farmer 😅 So enjoy, dear anon!

SDV townies react to the Farmer who despises Joja:

Marlon's mind is more on protecting the Valley from monsters than on boycotting some store. He wouldn't have known about this until one day Farmer came in with a bunch of soda cans with the Joja logo on them, while swearing about the same logo. They told to the one-eyed adventurer that they had fished this cans of the mine waters at level 100. How these soda cans managed to end up in literal lava without burning or even deforming from the lava's temperature was a mystery to Marlon.

Stardew Valley has its own zest that makes the place unique, and according to Penny, JojaMart is ruining that uniqueness. Plus they constantly put promotions on the beer and ales they sell, which Pam just can't refuse. So Penny isn't too thrilled about Joja.co appearance in Pelican Town either.

How Willy understands them! There is already so much garbage floating in the sea from Joja's products that has endangered fish and other marine life. And the mart that was built here has only made the problem worse. So the old sailor will support the Farmer if they want to kick this corporation out of Pelican Town.

Not that George would care much where his wife bought the leek: from the farmers or from that huge store. After all, a leek is a leek no matter how you cooked it. Still, though, memories of his grandfather and his farm bring back fond memories of things that used to be both simpler and better. He's also annoyed by the loud music coming from the speakers in that supermarket, which is "supposed to attract customers" but distracts him from his nostalgic thoughts. Can't he have some quiet time in his own home anymore! If the Farmer wants to stage a boycott, then George will be the first of the participants!

Oh, this is so much fun! Abigail feel bad that she provokes Farmer on purpose, but it's not her fault that her friend gives such a funny reaction at any mention of Joja. "Look, Sam bought me a Joja cola, you want some?" *Possum hissing*

Haley thinks the Farmer is a fool. The only civilized supermarket in town, and Farmer looks at it as an insult to all humanity. Yes, the quality of the clothes leaves a lot to be desired, but there are a variety of sweets to choose from! And there's plenty goods for farming, too. The girl doesn't understand what Farmer's problem is.

Whoa whoa, easy, why the outburst of rage? What? Yeah, Alex bought a dozen eggs at JojaMart. After all, he needs protein. Hey! What's the Farmer doing? Give it back, why did they take the eggs?! If they wanted some egg, they could just ask! Wha?... Oh, the Farmer gave him three dozen eggs. These are from their farm? Uh, thank you. So big, and much better quality than he bought from Joja..... So, how's he gonna explain to Grandma that Alex now have three dozen eggs?

Gus sincerely hopes the Farmer doesn't vandalize his Saloon, at least as a sign of respect for the very owner of the establishment and his property. Because they've been looking at that Joja soda machine for too long. It's like they're trying to desiteng this poor vending machine. He may also have to take Joja Coke off the menu.

*Gasp* Hee-hee. Oh, Marnie can't stop laughing. To be honest, at first the young Farmer's angry stare and scolding caught her off guard and frightened her a little. But later, she can't stop giggling after every barbed comment towards Joja.co, their old boss and "colleagues".

Sheesh, wow. Sam would never have thought that a person could cringe like that at the mention of Joja. The young guitarist should think twice before opening a can of Joja Coke with Farmer standing next to him, because they will vaporize that very can with a look.

Jas already knows what natural resources are and has often heard from Miss Penny that many huge corporations often abuse and deplete these same resources. And this thought makes her sad. But she does not want to quarrel with anyone, so Jas will offer the Farmer to draw a poster together so that Joja will respect nature and makes products that do not harm animals and plants (spoiler: it won't work, but the Farmer was very touched by the girls’ idea).

Bad food? Bad store? But Mr/Mrs Farmer, why do you say that? Vincent doesn't really understand why they hate that store so much, where he often goes with his mother to visit his older brother and buy groceries. His mom even also buys him ice cream in the form of a dinosaur! Because dinosaur is so cool. What? Do they have a living dinosaur?! In a coop? Can he take a look please??? The farm is much cooler than this "Jodja'! Mom look, Mr/Mrs Farmer has a pet dinosaurs!

Oh, that whole blue trash things makes Leo and his bird family very sad. So he understands why the Farmer is so upset too. But the boy is not discouraged and wants to make a clean-up day together with Farmer, Linus and the parrots. Maybe the Joja people will see the beauty of nature and stop littering!

Oh, no, Farmer. You don't need to show so much negative emotion! Emily herself is not fond of Joja and their constant pollution of the environment with their waste, but absorbing so much anger and spreading it to others is not the best way to go about it. She does worry about the Farmer's mental state and will offer them meditation classes to get rid of the bad thoughts associated with the old job and Joja in general.

Shane would probably be the second person who truly hates Joja. Stupid, energy-sucking job, stupid boss who makes him work overtime, stupid uniforms that don't fit him and that make him itch. Can the occasional theft of beer and frozen pizza from Joja's warehouse be considered a form of protest?

Caroline nearly dropped her tea cup when Farmer literally hissed at the mention of Joja and Morris. The two of them were sitting alone in her sunny room drinking tea and Caroline was a little sad that her husband's business had gotten tougher since JojaMart had come to town. She had heard from the Mayor the reason for the Farmer leaving their old job and truly understands their decision (after all, life in the big city can be very tiring). Though the young Farmer's reaction to the mention of Joja.co has her a bit amused.

But when Pierre walked into the sun room (to pick up his gardening tools) where his wife and Farmer were sitting, and heard the conversation about his store and Joja, he started wailing and whining about the desperate situation. And the shopkeeper would wholeheartedly support Farmer in the idea that everyone would be much better off without blasted Joja! However, when the Farmers were about to leave, they thanked Caroline for the tea, and finally, with a sly smile, said that "Joja will not stay here for long". What this meant, neither Pierre nor his wife understood.

"Fuck! Fucking bitch ass Joja with their fucking cans and CDs! I want fish, not that dog ass shit plastic! Rot in hell, you goddamn corporation, bunch of bastards and rats!" Sebastian is used to Farmer's tirade by now, and watches from the kitchen window, sipping his coffee, as his poor friend has been trying to fish the mountain lake for the past two hours. Judging by their profanity, fishing was not going well.

But poor Maru, who almost dropped the wrench on her foot, heard the Farmer's profanity for the first time and thought something was wrong. When she went out to inquire after their fortunes, they were already sitting on the shore crying... and surrounded by the garbage from Joja.co. The young inventor invites Farmer into the kitchen for a cup of coffee with her and her half-brother.

While the brother and sister consoled Farmer with words and caffeine, Demetrius, seeing that there was now a lot of plastic lying nearby, offered to the Farmer take his recycling machine and scheme if they wanted more machines. Recycling would help to bring the environment back to its former state, also the recycled garbage would become useful products for the farm! Demetrius thinks it's unlikely that they'll be able to boycott the huge company in any way, so it's better to help the ecology like that at least.

Robin almost died laughing. "Holy macaroni, you swear like an old sailor!" She really didn't expect such profanity from such a quiet and kind person, but her son and daughter were not the only ones who heard the poor youth's tirade after a bad fishing trip. But Robin doesn't want to tease the poor Farmer, so she goes along with her husband's offer to take their recycling machine.

Oh dear, don't be so furious, you get a headache! Evelyn can understand why the poor Farmer is upset, but she would hate to see such a kind and sweet youth in a constantly bad mood because of Joja. Maybe they'll drop by for tea? She just baked cookies, and didn't use Joja products, granny promises! *wink*

Linus can feel Mother Nature weeping and choking on all this garbage and waste. And how her crying has gotten stronger since Joja their big store in town. The wise man stays calm though and tries to comfort the Farmer, because anger clouds his thoughts and it's impossible to think of ways to help nature.

Hmmm, dear, but Joja is full of good gardening supplies and farming seeds, and at a low price. Jodi thinks they should look in there and get something for.... Oh, okay, fine. Jodi won't mention Joja again, or she gets the impression that nice Farmer is transforming into a beast before her eyes.

Now, now... There's no need to get so angry or you'll get high blood pressure, Harvey knows what he's talking about. Anger is inherent in everyone, but he is well aware of how mental problems later affect a person's physical health. So if Farmer doesn't learn to control their anger, then it will be Dr. Harvey himself who gets angry. And take his word for it, Farmer, he will scold you severely.

For all his desire to help Farmer, Rasmodius feels he should not interfere in people's lives, much less use magic for it. Plus, he feels that there's no point in looking for an answer to solve a problem when the answer is right in front of them. Hmm? What is he talking about? Ah, young adept, the forest spirits will show you the way, you just have to learn to listen to them carefully.

Leah knows what it's like to live in a big city at an energy-sucking job, under the all-seeing eye of a mega-corporation (also with her ex who mumbling everyday about more profitable professions). And when Leah sees JojaMart, her mind involuntarily returns to that unpleasant part of her life. To be honest, she would also start snarling and hissing like a Farmer because of Joja or any other company that is trying to greedily take Stardew Valley for itself.

Elliott bows before Farmer: to reach such a peak of eloquence, masterfully masking sarcasm in conversation with the help of barbs and epithets - such a level was not even reached by Elliott himself, even with his rich vocabulary. The writer doesn't know why this manager from Joja.co angered the always good-natured Farmer, but Elliott made a note to himself to never get on the Farmer's bad side.

All right, kiddo! Don't bark at the store like a guard dog! Do Pam a favor and move your bum away from the main JojaMart entrance, she has to get a dark ale on special, plus a 15% off coupon. Huh, don't like Joja? Then don't look at them and problem solved! Like a piece of cake.

The tired father had to put his hands over Vincent's ears more than once to keep the youngest of his sons from hearing the endless stream of profanity from their new Farmer about the greedy megacorporation. Though Kent would be lying if he said the whole rant didn't make him laugh. Still, he tries to hide a smile under his wife's stern gaze.

All right, enough! Why don't you stop swearing, there's little kids walking around! Lewis can understand anything, but not useless swearing. The town mayor really does miss the days when they were all at the old Community Center, but yelling at Joja won't do anything. What do you mean the "Community Center will soon be alive again"? Farmer? Where are they going? Yoba, they're just like their Grandfather. Sigh, what a daredevil...bless your soul, my old friend.

Satisfied with his work and how quickly the number of visitors to JojaMart was growing, Morris didn't even notice how, when talking to a new resident of the Valley (aka "potential customer"), the poor "listener" had a twitch in his eye and a cringing their face. Well, one gets a tic, he doesn't really care. Although when Morris was at the restored Community Center where people started boycotting Joja, now his eye started twitching.

#stardew valley #sdv #sdv headcanons #sdv shane #sdv emily #sdv alex #sdv sebastian #sdv elliott #sdv harvey #sdv penny #sdv maru #sdv abigail #sdv leah #sdv haley #sdv demetrius #sdv robin #sdv linus #sdv wizard #sdv marlon #sdv willy #sdv gus #sdv leo #sdv jas #sdv vincent #sdv jodi #sdv caroline #sdv pierre #sdv george #sdv community #sdv joja

[goldfizzle]

You know what’s rly shit? I feel super uncomfortable talking abt my sexuality to my friends, even though they know I’m asexual and aromatic. bc when I first came out, if someone asked abt my sexuality one of my closest friends would say “oh they’re an eglantine” bc that was another ace aro. And I got added to this lgbtq+ group chat bc and I quote they “felt they were lacking aces” and I just felt like I was only being included to up the diversity, which is shit. Then I’ve noticed my bisexual friend tends to talk abt all the biphobia (which is perfectly valid) but never in my entire time hanging out w this supposedly “woke” friendship group have I ever heard someone mention aphobia. And I’m scared to start talking abt it myself bc one of the things I hear the most abt aces and aros on the internet is that we’re not oppressed and shit, so now I feel like if I talk abt aphobia it’ll be like I’m trying to be oppressed and I don’t want that bc I hate ppl who r like that.

#so yeah #that’s where I’m at rn #it’s not fun #and all my friends ever talk abt is their crushes #and then they’re like #oh well u wouldn’t know #and idk it just makes me feel so left out #I feel like ive got some kind of deformity that’s so rare #and bc it’s so rare no one rly takes it srsly #and then when someone has the same deformity were grouped together #and the only reason ppl hand w me is so they can act woke #cuz oh look here’s my friend with a deformity #but when it come to actually talking abt the shit I put up with bc of my deformity #they just don’t give a shit #and they want to talk abt their deformity which is fine #but loads of ppl talk abt their deformity #and they’ve never rly experienced anyone being mean to them bc of their deformity in person #they’ve just seen it happen to other ppl w the same deformity on the internet #meanwhile they’re making subtle jokes abt my deformity #and saying shit like #oh you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to bend down bc your deformity doesn’t let u #and then they continue to talk abt bending down and how great it is but also how bad it is #and then they say shit like #I wish I couldn’t bend down #you’re lucky your deformity doesn’t let u bend down #and it’s like then why don’t I feel lucky #why do I feel like a fuckin freak #anyways #sorry needed a bit of a rant

[camotherogue]

wings of fire brainrot is returning

have two hivewing bbys! their old designs were boring as fuck so ive revamped these two kids to look way cooler! Cantharis hasn’t changed a whole lot, but COBRA- hOOOO BOYSIE LEMME TELL YA I AM SO HAPPY WITH HIS NEW LOOK-

Here’s Cantharis (She/her) to start! Pretty close to her og design, with a few changes ofc.

And then Cobra (He/him, Xi/xir), with and without wing markings! (inhale) HOLY FUCK I LOVE HIM SO MUCHHHHHHH

I decided that xir old yellow and orange scheme was BORING and tried smth new and REALLY COOL OH MY FUCKIN- (exhale) hoooooooooooooooooo boy i could yell abt it for FOREVER! I’m still working out why he has those markings but I’m gonna chalk it up to some magic disease since that’s how the WoF universe explains EVERY cool deformity or physical condition that isn’t mainstream or attachable to an irl phenomenon. Fire-sickness sounds cool... anyways the condition is like vitiligo but with melanism instead.

I’ll drop some character deets below the cut cuz this is already long. Base by @kingdarkstalker​! Go check them out!

OKAY SO

(slams down binders of information)

Cantharis first! She’s a student at one of the Hivewings’ many schools, studying to become a construction supervisor. She has a major sweet tooth and a work ethic like nobody’s business. She has a brother named Darkling (He/they), a sister named Tarantula (She/Her), her father Alizarin (He/him), and his spouse Beetle (They/them). She’s close with all of them except for her father, and absolutely dotes on Tarantula with her brother. Friends wise, she’s rather social, but her best friend will always be Copper. Copper (She/they) is a very bright Silkwing, and a bit younger than Cantharis. The two have basically been pals since they were hatched, attached at the hip.

Cobra next! Xi’s a suave, charming young drake with an eye for painting, though this isn’t the career xir family wants xir to go into. He can get a bit self conscious but otherwise wears his Fire-sickness markings with pride! He has two brothers, Tiger (He/him) and Ocelli (He/him). Ocelli, unfortunately, passed early, leaving it to be just Cobra and Tiger. Their parents are Plasmid and Viceroy (Both they/them), though none of the brothers are/were close with them. Cobra also has a Silkwing mate, Iris (She/they), and a dragonet named Lily (She/her). The trio fled to Phyrria after the death of Iris’ father, and the two dragons are happily raising Lily in a place where she will be respected and safe.

I have a LOT more information on these guys buy I don’t wanna bore y’all to death lmao

#wings of fire #wings of fire spam incoming soon #wings of fire hivewings #death mention #[Wings of fire ocs] #character refs #kingdarkstalker bases #camosart #camosocs #hehe dergons go brrrr #[Cantharis] #[Cobra]

[sleekervae]

Suck It And See [0.2]

Masterlist

"So, what's it like?" Rose asked. Jade laid flat out on her bed, staring at the cracks and stains in the ceiling while her best friend was on the phone.

"It's cold," she said, "Even for post-summer in England, it's cold,"

"What do you mean by cold?" Rose asked again, "That don't make no sense,"

"It's just very isolating is all," Jade replied, "None of these cousins have even come over to say 'hi',"

She hummed from the other end in thought, "Well, perhaps they're waiting for you to come out of your room?" she inquired.

"That'd be fine," Jade said, "If they too weren't locked in their own rooms. Rose, the only sounds I hear are the odd car driving by or the birds in the trees. It's eery, there's no life here whatsoever,"

"They're a suburban family, s'pose. Suburbans do things differently," Rose said, "Remember my next door neighbour? The brownstone that always reeked of meat?"

"Rose, that whole neighbourhood smells of deli meat. You're round the corner from the artisan markets," Jade said.

"Don't matter," Rose said, "Fact is that we lived in a suburb and every single person in that bloody square-radius was whacked,"

Jade sighed, "I think I'd rather be in a Newcastle as oppose to this," she said.

"Well, what's this Auntie all about, then?" Rose asked, "You said she was rich?"

"That's the only cool thing about her," Jade mused, "She married into it. Think she's put out a pound for my mum's treatments? Think again, kid,"

"Perhaps taking you in is her way of chipping in?" Rose said, "You know, take the emotionally-distraught-teenager out of the equation?"

Jade rolled onto her side, staring glumly out the foggy window that overlooked the neighbourhood. It looked more like a still-life than a reality, with silent streets, strangled grass, nobody about on the streets. It was depressingly glum, a place that no emotional teenager could possibly withstand in her circumstances.

"As far as I'm concerned, I should be at home instead,"

➿➿➿

Right at seven-fifteen in the evening, Jade was refreshed and redressed, this time in a simple white t-shirt and a pair of comfortable jeans. Her long, thick brown hair was tied up in a loose ponytail, showing off her gorgeous, youthful face. The wonderful smell of roast meat and steamed vegetables filled her nose, and it suddenly dawned on Jade that she was starving. She hadn't eaten anything since she had left her house this morning. She had had a cup of coffee and a scone with her dad in a local cafe by the station, a little father-daughter time before she would have to chug off. It wasn't the most pleasant bonding time for Jade, she still had mixed feelings towards her father and his actions.

Aunt Joy looked to have her head in the oven, a cynically amusing concept to Jade as she entered the kitchen. It was twice the size of her kitchen back home, with jade marble counter tops, clean wooden cabinets, a big, beautiful stainless steel fridge, and a state-of-the-art oven and stove-top set. A few feet away was a grand dining table covered in a green and yellow patch table cloth. And in two of the seats were her younger cousins, Charlie and Noah. The boys were fraternal twins, both eleven years of age with dark bowl-cuts, pudgy and pasty faces, with a thick rimmed glasses sitting on both of their noses. They seemed to be fighting over who's turn it was to play with their video game console.

"Charlie, it's my turn!" Noah whined as he tried to make a grab for the gameboy, "Yeh said yeh'd let me play after yeh killed the dragon!"

"Yeah!" Charlie sneered back, "But now I 'ave to kill the mutant lava monster!" he exclaimed. Noah continued to whine at him and kept grabbing for the console. Soon afterwards, a little, wispy-haired boy came running into the kitchen, yelling for his life.

"AAH! Mummy!" the little boy ran and hide behind Aunt Joy. Jade watched with confusion as another boy, taller than she was, came running after the little boy. He had a gremlin mask on over his head, but the young boy wasn't old enough to understand. Alfie, he was. He couldn't have been older than seven or eight.

"Mummy! Oliver's tryna' eat me!" he yelled. The older boy, sixteen-year-old Oliver, ripped off the deformed, ugly mask and started to laugh.

"Oh, take a joke, Alf. I was only kiddin'," Oliver said to him. Aunt Joy refrained from rolling her eyes as she pulled the roast beef out of the of oven and set it on the stove top to cool.

"Boys, did you say hello to your cousin?" She asked in a diminutive sneer.

The shenanigans in the kitchen came to a sudden stop as they all turned around and focused on Jade. She suddenly felt as though she was being glared down by a pack of wild hyenas.

Oliver, being the oldest, made his move first as he slung an arm around his cousin, "Long time, no see, cuz,"

Out of all her cousins, Jade tended to gravitate towards Oliver most. Perhaps because he was older, perhaps because he was good looking? Jade would never have any romantic kindlings towards him, he was her cousin after all. Regardless, Jade could appreciate his high cheek bones, shaggy but combed back hair, and well-chiseled body. He was a top player on the school's lacrosse team after all.

Uncle Cosmo entered the dining room soon after and had the boys set the table for dinner. He kept calling for Flora to come down from her room.

"Flo! Yehr ma 'as dinner on!" He shouted down the hall.

Jade took a seat at the end of the table, unsure of what else to do as Oliver and and Charlie set the table. He had ripped the game boy away from them and placed it on the spice rack whets neither of them could reach. Flora eventually came down and took a seat on the opposing side to Jade, between Oliver and Alfie.

They all sat down and Aunt Joy placed the roast and veggies in the middle of the table. Noah sat to Jade's left and Uncle Cosmo to her right. They both suddenly grabbed her hands. She was confused until she saw the rest of the family join hands and she realised they were going to say Grace.

"Do yeh say Grace before dinner, Jade?" Charlie asked her, clearly sensing get unease.

Aunt Joy replied before Jade could even open her mouth, "No dear, your Aunty Ruth doesn't believe in God," she said.

"So... Do you not believe in God, Jade?" Charlie asked.

"Erm... not really," she replied.

"Why?" he asked, "Yeh're not afraid of Him?"

"Charlie!" Uncle Cosmo suddenly cut in, "It's none of the business wha' Jade believes in. Now 'old yeh brother's 'and,"

Jade let out a small sigh of relief. And with that, Aunt Joy proceeded to say Grace:

"Dear Lord, thank you for this food we are about to eat. We are grateful for your provision. We ask that you would bless this food and continue to guide our family along Your path. In the name of Your son Jesus, amen,"

"Amen," the whole table said. They all suddenly turned to Jade, who had stayed silent up until that point."

"... Oh. Erm -- a-amen,"

➿➿➿

Dinner passed as quietly and uncomfortable as possible for Jade. The younger boys kept asking her why she was here, why her mum was sick, why her parents separated. Uncle Cosmo and Aunt Joy steered the conversation away as much as they could, but even Aunt Joy made little attempt to ease Jade into her family. Oliver then went on to tell Jade about the school she would be attending with them -- Stocksbridge High School. Flora meanwhile stayed silent, occasionally throwing a dirty look Jade's way. She couldn't for the life of her understand what her problem was.

Jade helped the five children -- well, four, Flora chose not to help -- clean up afterwards, then they all separated into their own rooms. Jade was at a loss for what to do with herself, so she sat on the couch with Uncle Cosmo as he lit his pipe and watched the evening news.

"Yeh excited for school tomorrow, Jade?" He asked her. Jade nodded slowly, more focused on the puff piece the news channel was doing on a bird sanctuary in Ireland. She had hardly spoken a word all day, and Uncle Cosmo didn't take it lightly. He couldn't begin to imagine what heartbreak was being thrusted upon this young girl.

"Jade, how are yeh doing? Wif all of this?" He asked her. Jade shook her head and looked up at her uncle with those big, sad hazel eyes.

"I'm fine," she replied quietly.

Cosmo sat forward on the couch and looked down the hall, finding the door to the den closed with light flickering from under the door. His wife wouldn't be able to hear him, then.

"Listen, I won' lie to yeh and say 'I know wha' yeh're going through'. I will tell yeh 'owever tha' it will get better. Yehr mum is a lil' fighter, and she will pull through. If anything, she'll do it fer yeh. As fer yeh dad, 'e's gonna 'help yehr mum any way 'e can, yehr ma won' be alone,"

Jade blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over and wiped her nose on her jumper sleeve, "Jason's in jail, Uncle Cosmo. Jack's living with... Her. And I'm up here. How is she not alone?" she said. One of her older brother, Jason, had been hauled into juvenile detention last year on a drug charge, while her younger brother, Jack, was living with their father's new girlfriend, Winona, for reasons Jade could not see as logical.

Uncle Cosmo shrugged back and sighed, "Well, yehr ma knows she ain't alone because she knows tha' 'er children are thinking of 'er. She don't want yeh to see 'er in her treatments because she don't want yeh to remember 'er like that. Yeh understand wha' I mean, dear?" he said. Jade, again, nodded as a snail's pace, still keeping her eyes trained on the television.

"Things are gonna be strange for the next lil' while, I know. But yeh 'ave us to lean on fer support," he assured her, "Yeh ain't gonna be alone, Jade,"

Jade forced herself to swallow the growing lump in her throat as well as her uncle's articulations. She wanted to believe him, but the homesickness she felt was too fresh in her mind to give in to the ease her uncle was offering. She quickly wiped away the tears that slid down her face before Cosmo could notice and she turned back to the television, not uttering a word for the rest of the evening.

➿➿➿

Morning came faster than Jade would have liked.

After a sleepless night of tossing and turning, Jade grimaced as a loud pounding thundered on her bedroom door.

"Wake up, Jade!" Noah called from the other end, "Mum says we 'ave to get readeh fer school!"

Oh yeah, school. As if she weren't having enough troubles.

Jade groaned and shoved the blankets off her frail body. The floor was cold against her feet and she shivered as a draft whipped across her skin. She did a little stretch and went to the suitcase she hadn't yet bothered to unpack. Unlike her school back home, Jade had to wear a uniform to Stocksbridge -- and ugly one at that, consisting of a button down shirt, a black skirt, and a scratchy grey jumper, and an ugly tie.

If her friends back home could see her now, they'd never let her live this down. Jade had gone to a school where if you dressed like you were on your way to a business meeting downtown, you'd be robbed of your lunch money and locked into the janitor's closet within a span of ten minutes. She missed those ugly, drab classroom walls and rusty lockers that would clatter as you would walk by.

Jade -- now dressed in her new uniform, went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and comb her hair. However, as she tried to turn the bathroom knob, she found it was locked. A shrill voice hollered from the other end.

"Occupied!" Flora shouted with aggravation.

Jade was overcome with a sense of awkward being, unsure of just what to do. The only other bathroom in the house was her Aunt and Uncle's in their bedroom, and the powder room downstairs. Was it appropriate to brush her teeth in there? In this house especially?

"Erm -- i-it's me," Jade called, "Can I come in? I just wanna brush me teeth!"

There was a long, uncomfortable silence before Flora finally replied with an expected "No!"

Jade was beginning to get annoyed with her attitude, "I'll just be thirty seconds, I promise ya! I just really need the sink!"

She heard Flora groan back, "I'm using the sink! Use the loo downstairs!" she exclaimed. Jade bit on her bottom lip nervously, eyeing the corridor to the flight of grandiose stairs. Reluctantly, she took her toothbrush and toothpaste and skittered down the stairs, then headed right for the powder room. As if my a stroke of misfortune, Aunt Joy had spotted her from the kitchen as she was brewing a fresh pot of coffee, and she called after her.

"Jade, dear!" her voice slithered through the air with the grace of a snake, "I certainly hope you're not planning to use the powder room to brush your teeth!" she said, "It's unbecoming, you know,"

Jade refrained from rolling her eyes. It was the powder room, people use the powder room to freshen up. And she needed to freshen up for school so she wouldn't be mistaken for a zombie on her first day.

"Well... Flora refuses to get out of the bathroom... so what do I do?" she asked.

Joy sighed with exasperation, most likely at how petty and ridiculous her daughter was being. Or so Jade had hoped. But by the look on her face, Jade was weary that some of that exasperation may have been directed at her.

"Alright. You can use the powder room this morning. But I will have a talk with Flora," she said. Jade thanked her graciously and hopped into the powder room, feeling as though she had received an indirect warning from a prison warden as oppose to her 'loving' aunty.

#arctic monkeys #arctic monkeys fanfic #arctic monkeys imagine #arctic monkeys x reader #Alex turner #Alex Turner x reader #Alex Turner fanfic #matt helders #jamie cook #nicholas o'malley #Rock Music #band blog #band imagines #band imagine blog #original series #original story #original female character #whatever people say i am that's what i'm not #favourite worst nightmare #humbug #suck it and see #am #tranquility base hotel and casino

[badwolfwrites-sometimes]

Drawn Together: Chapter 15

This one is a bit shorter than normal... sorry :(

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923374/chapters/56725165

♡~Feli~♡: So Ludwig i have a question ♡~Feli~♡: How well do you protect against the germs

Ludwig: Pretty well, why

♡~Feli~♡: Because you live in ♡~Feli~♡: Germany

Ludwig: Feliciano Ludwig: I swear to god

...

Ludwig: https://youtu.be/tzQuuoKXVq0 Ludwig: I think you should watch this

♡~Feli~♡: Okie ♡~Feli~♡: The coffee one is so true i feel called out ♡~Feli~♡: OH I FOUND THE ITALIANS VERSUS GERMANS ONE ♡~Feli~♡: https://youtu.be/K0bI6YHhsvM

Ludwig: The vacation one is true

♡~Feli~♡: Yeah but lovi says you usually bring way more stuff and then ppl cant walk around the beach because of you

Ludwig: Well, I have only been to France for a summer vacation so there weren't a lot of options Ludwig: I am not a beach person to be honest

♡~Feli~♡: Thats cuz you ve never been to italian beachrs

Ludwig: I have never had a proper chance

♡~Feli~♡: Ill take you one day then ♡~Feli~♡: I promise you ll love it

...

♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig ♡~Feli~♡: Do you like planes

Ludwig: I guess Ludwig: Why?

♡~Feli~♡: I cant figure out how to draw them ♡~Feli~♡: They just end up looking like a deformed bird ♡~Feli~♡: I feel like ive created an outer space monster

Ludwig: I am not really the person you should ask for art advice Ludwig: Maybe try to find a model of some plane and keep practicing

♡~Feli~♡: Now you sound like my ex teachers ♡~Feli~♡: A trauma i never want to live through again

Ludwig: That reminds me Ludwig: What do you do for living Feliciano?

♡~Feli~♡: Clean after my brothers... ♡~Feli~♡: And art

Ludwig: So you don't have a part time job or anything?

♡~Feli~♡: Nope ♡~Feli~♡: Being lazy is my job acc to Lovi

Ludwig: That is fine Ludwig: I was just wondering because if you have to come here to work on the cover, I didn't want you to miss working hours

♡~Feli~♡: Id like to come someday ♡~Feli~♡: I wanted to see germany for a while

Ludwig: Well, if you don't have a place to stay at or you don't want to waste money on hotels, you are always welcome here Ludwig: Just call before you come

♡~Feli~♡: I will  ♡~Feli~♡: If i dont forget that is

...

♡~Feli~♡: So i found a list ♡~Feli~♡: Of my new years resolutions for 2018 ♡~Feli~♡: Guess which ones i did

Ludwig: None probably

♡~Feli~♡: Youd be close to correct ♡~Feli~♡: I did one

Ludwig: Which one?

♡~Feli~♡: I made a new friend ♡~Feli~♡: You

Ludwig: I... Ludwig: I am flattered

...

♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig do you like bugs

Ludwig: Not really, why?

♡~Feli~♡: I found this strange furry caterpillar its so cute

Ludwig: I feel the need to kinkshame you

♡~Feli~♡: Why?

Ludwig: For that word

♡~Feli~♡: Caterpillar ?? ♡~Feli~♡: Whats wrong with it ??

Ludwig: The one before it

♡~Feli~♡: Furry? ♡~Feli~♡: Whats wrong with it it does have some weird kind of fur

Ludwig: Never go on the internet Ludwig: Stay innocent forever

...

Ludwig: Algebra amazes me Ludwig: So much shit not enough bull Ludwig: Excuse my language

♡~Feli~♡: I will ignore the mentions of math language for the sake of you swearing ♡~Feli~♡: I want this on my gravestone

...

♡~Feli~♡: I asked lovi what furry means ♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig ♡~Feli~♡: Are you into that

Ludwig: No Ludwig: I am sorry you couldn't be innocent forever

♡~Feli~♡: I havent known innocence since i first learned what yaoi was

Ludwig: I am so terribly sorry

♡~Feli~♡: I am too for young me

...

♡~Feli~♡: Imagine if the world just turned to ashes one day

Ludwig: That could happen

♡~Feli~♡: Really ?? ♡~Feli~♡: I was just trying to be poetic

Ludwig: Yes  Ludwig: There is a theory that the sun will swallow Earth in distant future

♡~Feli~♡: I hope to be dead by then

Ludwig: We would all probably be Ludwig: If we don't recycle and take care of our planet

♡~Feli~♡: Yes

...

♡~Feli~♡: Your ass is grass herr sassafrass

Ludwig: Feliciano?

♡~Feli~♡: Yes this is Feli

Ludwig: You don't sound like Feliciano

♡~Feli~♡: You have no proof im not

Ludwig: Is this Lovino?

♡~Feli~♡: No ♡~Feli~♡: Sorry it was lovi ♡~Feli~♡: He took my phone to text nonno but he texted you instead

Ludwig: Your brother is interesting

♡~Feli~♡: Try living with him youd change your mind

...

Ludwig: *at 3 a.m.* Life is meaningless Feliciano Ludwig: We get attached to people, we learn to love them  Ludwig: But then before you know it Ludwig: They are dead Ludwig: Just like that the human existence crumbles

♡~Feli~♡: *at 11 a.m.* Ludwig are you okay

Ludwig: I finished a good book last night  Ludwig: I am anything but okay

♡~Feli~♡: Aww ♡~Feli~♡: I felt like that when i finished yours ♡~Feli~♡: Read it again for good measure

Ludwig: I have piles of homework to complete

♡~Feli~♡: Books are more important

Ludwig: I am going to have to agree with you there Ludwig: But I do have to finish this soon Ludwig: The deadline is in 3 weeks

♡~Feli~♡: Id do it the night before you have time ♡~Feli~♡: What kind of homework do you even have ♡~Feli~♡: How old are you Ludwig

Ludwig: 21 and a half Ludwig: It is just college assignments Ludwig: We got new ones today and I really like them completed in time

♡~Feli~♡: Aw you re a baby ♡~Feli~♡: Im 22 ♡~Feli~♡: What are you studying

Ludwig: Physics and mechanical engineering Ludwig: And I also have a part time job so Ludwig: Time mustn't be wasted

♡~Feli~♡: Thats a lot ♡~Feli~♡: Ludwig do you even breathe

Ludwig: No

...

♡~Feli~♡: Do you have anything comforting ♡~Feli~♡: Like some dog pictures or something ♡~Feli~♡: Im feeling really sad

*Ludwig has sent a picture*

Ludwig: Gilbert took them fishing today Ludwig: Are you okay

♡~Feli~♡: They are so cuteeee ♡~Feli~♡: CUTECUTECUTECUTE ♡~Feli~♡: Yeah im good  ♡~Feli~♡: Just feeling a bit under weather and lovi yelled at me that i was being lazy again

Ludwig: I see Ludwig: Sorry I am not very good with emotions Ludwig: Would you like some more pictures?

♡~Feli~♡: You get me enouth tnx ♡~Feli~♡: Send the cute

*Ludwig has sent 27 pictures*

Ludwig: I overdid it

♡~Feli~♡: I love them ♡~Feli~♡: When i get my ass to germany i will pet them lots and lots ♡~Feli~♡: Tell them that

Ludwig: Don't spoil my dogs too much

♡~Feli~♡: Oh i absolutely will

...

♡~Feli~♡: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND ♡~Feli~♡: AND WE WILL KEEP ON FIGHTING TILL THE END

Ludwig: Good morning to you too Feliciano

♡~Feli~♡: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS ♡~Feli~♡: WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

Ludwig: No time for losers

♡~Feli~♡: CUZ WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS

Ludwig: Of the world

♡~Feli~♡: Lets form a band Ludwig

Ludwig: No time Ludwig: But i do appreciate being woken up by Queen lyrics at 5 a.m. Ludwig: Why are you up so early

♡~Feli~♡: Bold of you to assume I even slept

Ludwig: I see

#GerIta #Germany x Italy #APH Germany #hetalia GerIta #gerita fanfic #APH Italy #hws germany #hws gerita #hws italy #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #aph gerita #hetalia world stars #hws #APH #drawn together story

[solaneceae]

MFKZ OS 10: Flowing

Climate change was no joke it seemed.

Vinz awoke drenched with sweat, his blanket -the one with little tigers leaping around, his favourite-  pooling at the foot of the couch. He groaned in faint disgust as he hurriedly sat up, hating the sensation of moist fabric against his back. Gross. He rubbed the crust out of his eyes and looked towards the window; the sun had barely began to peek out over the horizon.

Uuuuugh. Only in DMC one could wake up to suffocating heat at 8am in the middle of november. The world truly was going to shit. Good thing the flames atop his skull were only hot if he wanted them to be, however that worked.

He sighted. Even with their new president doing her best to undo a decade’s worth of damage on environmental laws, it would be a long time until things started to change for the better.

“Wow, you look like death!”

The hothead turned around to huff at the other couch, or rather the half-alien laying upside-down on the back. His socks don’t match, Vinz noted distractedly. Heh. What an airhead.

Angelino flashed him a shit-eating grin, seemingly unbothered with the humid heat taking over the neighbourhood. Vinz glared back; his roommate’s freaky genetics must’ve granted him some kind of resistance to high temperatures. Lucky bastard. “Dude, shut up. S’too early for your sass.”

“What? I’m just being a concerned friend. You don’t look so hot after all.”

“Oh my fucking god.”

The skeleton jumped to his feet and hurried out of the room, eager to get out of earshot of his best friend’s terrible puns -the dumbass radius as he called it- and cool down in a cold shower. Which one he wished for the most right now was up for debate.

***

He didn’t step from under the delightfully freezing water until his fingertips turned blue and his body seized up in uncontrollable shivers. He should be set for a couple of hours.

The young adult entered the kitchen in a much better mood, finding Lino munching on cereals right out of the box, not-so-sneakily dropping some on the floor for his roaches to feast on. “Took you long enough, thought you drowned or something.” the hybrid stated, passing the half-empty box to Vinz’ awaiting hands. He smirked, a teasing glint in his inky black eyes. “Did you have fun in there?”

The hothead half-groand half-snickered. Christ, the hothead could almost hear the italics. What was he, fifteen? “Well I didn’t die. Glad you still care.”

“I always care!”

“I know. Remember that storm back at the orphanage? I went outside to see and you got so scared my flames would go out and I’d die. You cried for like an hour.”

Angelino tensed up in protest. “What? Bullshit, I didn’t cry!”

“You so did. You didn’t want to go outside cuz you’re scared of thunder -don’t give me that look, I know it still makes you flinch-, and when I came back you were screaming about Charmander. Ring any bells?”

His best friend looked like he just bit into a particularly sour lemon. He was fidgeting with the edge of his sleeve and was definitely avoiding his gaze now, his cheeks a darker shade than the rest of his pitch black face. Vinz wished he could take a pic to immortalize one of the rare moments he managed to shut his roomate up.

The image of a much smaller, younger Lino sobbing into his shirt, his tiny fists clutching the fabric came to the forefront of his mind. S’okay Lino, don’t cry! he remembered laughing. My flames are magic, see? Stupid water can’t hurt me!

He felt himself smile. Granted, he couldn't actually smile with his lack of skin (and facial muscles. And lower jaw.), but the way his eyes squinted and his flames turned to a vivid green were good enough indicators. He teasingly grabbed his pouting roommate and trapped him into a ruthless noogie. “Don’t worry you lil’ shit, I’m not kicking the bucket anytime soon. Someone gotta watch out for your scrawny ass.”

The hybrid hissed in discomfort and wrestled out of Vinz’ grip, rubbing this head. “‘Scrawny’?! Fuck you, yours is bony!”. He then proceeded to trip the other with a swift little kick. The hothead yelped as he hit the ground -thank god for the shitty carpet-, his rival cackling evilly. Angelino used the other’s stunned state to sit cross legged onto his back -earning a strangled oof in the process-, grab his right arm and, with a triumphant smile, twist it against his clavicle.

“- Ack! Lino, the fuck?!

- That’s what you get for screwing with me! Now yield!

- Hell no, you motherfucker!”

Vinz didn’t quite know how it had come to this, him face planted into the faded orange carpet with his best friend sitting on top of him and basically asphyxiating him. It was all in good fun though, he could feel the tremors of uncontrollable giggles rattling his chest.

“- You gonna say ‘uncle’ yet? No rush, you make a good seat.

-  Ngh… thought I was bony?

- A bony seat is still a seat.

- So deep. Ten outta ten, truly inspiring. You gonna write a book on that?”

The half-alien just smiled wider, pulling on his arm a little harder.

“Ow, ow, okay ow, fine, you win!” the hothead wheezed from under him. “You win! Now lemme go before I burn your ass!”

Lino let go of his arm, chuckling. “You wouldn’t dare. My ass is a national treasure.”

Vinz repressed a certain thought immediately after it came to existence, letting out a deep sigh and glaring over his shoulder. “Right, keep thinking that. You gonna get off or what?”

His roommate didn’t respond, still sitting crossed legged in the small of his back. He was staring right ahead, head tilted to the side and brow furrowed, like he was trying really hard to figure something out. The skeleton squinted. “Lino, not that I don’t appreciate you, but it’s a little hard to breathe here and I’m getting sweaty again so-”

“You think that place is still there?”

The hothead’s voice trailed to a stop at the interruption. The young hybrid had turned to look at him, something fuzzy and familiar in his bug eyes. He blinked. “...Well, it’s not like a place can actually go anywhere… else... than where it’s at. You talking about the orphanage? Cuz I’m pretty sure it’s still where it’s always been.”

“Not that, dumbass. I mean the stream.”

Vinz’ eye sockets widened, a glint of recollection in his yellow pupils. “Wait, that stream? The one with the little waterfall overhead?”

“Yeah.”

“The one where we ran off to when it was too hot and we wanted to piss off the old broad?”

“Yup.”

“The one where you hit your head while trying to do a flip and you almost died of hypothermia?”

“Uh, I don’t-”

Now Vinz was just fucking with him. The skeleton’s tone took a teasing edge. “The one where I went to get some water and came back to find you-”

“YES. Yes Vinz, that one.” Angelino quickly cut him off and jumped off him, voice going up an octave. His victim dramatically rolled onto his back and took a much-needed gulp of air, as the other sneered from above him. “Fucker.”

“Bitch.” Vinz responded, flipping him off. He sat up against the bottom of the couch and cracked his joints. “So, our old secret place. What about it?”

His friend grimaced. “Don’t call it that, what are you, five ?”

Yeah, five inches deep in your MOM. Oh how Vinz wanted to quote that iconic vine. But he refrained from doing so, given who stood in front of him.

“I was thinking…” the hybrid began, plopping down next to him. “It’s early, it’s warm as all hell and we got fuckall to do today. Maybe we can go back. To see if it’s still there. And not, y’know, bulldozered and shit.”

The skeleton stared at him. “...What, ten years later? Why?”

“Why not? It’s a bit far, but I remember how to get there. And with how we originally found it by complete accident and all, pretty sure no one but us knows it exists. Could be worth it.”

Huh.

Vinz hummed. Maybe it would, as the alternative would be to spend the day either under cold water or complaining about global warming. Why the fuck not. He turned to an expectant roommate, determination steeled in his features. “Okay. Let’s go.”

***

Angelino finally stopped at the edge of a huge grey rock, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. He didn’t remember the way up being so steep. Vinz wasn’t far behind him, his heavy breathing and cursing catching up to him. Given the colorful words leaving his mouth about the “fucking piece of shit trees that don’t have anything better to do than fuck up my day”, he guessed his companion must’ve had tripped on a root at some point. In any case, the hothead finally hauled his way up the rock and bend forward, panting in exertion as his best friend sat down, legs dangling over the edge.

“Shit.” Vinz wheezed out, wiping the sweat off his skull. “I think we need to work out more, I feel like passing out.”. The hybrid snorted, not tearing his eyes away from the scenery below. “Yeah, fuck that noise. I’m doing fine, you’re the one who needs to go out more.”

The skeleton made a noncommittal grunt and popped his back into place, sighing in relief. He opened his eye sockets and took in the sight below them.

It felt… weird. It was the same old place he remembered, but not? Kinda? The thin waterfall dropping down the red stone cliff was the same. The deformed bean-shaped basin at the bottom was the same. The clear water (hallelujah, it was still clear after all those years) overflowing from said basin was the same. But everything else seemed to have shifted slightly, and the whole place felt scaled down. Smaller.

Eh. After more than ten years it was probably normal.

They stood still for another minute, silently letting fleeting memories and faint nostalgia wash over them. Then Angelino looked up at his best friend and smiled softly. “Wanna go down?”

***

“- I remember it being a lot bigger, don’t you?

- Nah dude, you were just short.

- Shut up, you were even shorter than I was, and that’s saying something.”

The hybrid ignored the jab at his petite frame, staring at the sky peeking out from between the foliage. He was floating on his back, half immersed into the basin. Cold water lapped at his ears now and again, drowning the world the low hum of moving water.

The basin wasn’t that deep, two meters at most, and only wide enough for about two grown adults to do the starfish without bumping into each other. So, wide enough for two of each of them.

Thanks to that and the sun heating up the stones all day, it wasn’t too cold, juste pleasantly chilly. Vinz had insisted on preparing some heating runes and sigils for some reason, and Lino had indulged him with a shrug. And even though, deep down, the hothead had been intrigued by the strange (worried?) look Angelino kept giving him while he worked his magic (heh), he decided not to ask.

The half-alien closed his eyes and filled his lungs with relatively pure air, at least compared to DMC’s usual smog.

In. Out. In and out, again.

His lead felt clear, quiet, a welcome reprieve from the constant outside noises and the numbing buzz of his own thoughts. It was nice.

Had it been worth the two-hour long bus trip full of rude and sweaty people? The forty-minute trek through the wilderness that left them breathless, dusty and bloody in some places?

Heck. Yes.

“Vinz?” he called out, eyes still closed. His voice was quiet, most of his energy having been sapped by the heat and the climbing.

His friend only acknowledged him with a hoarse, inquisitive hum. Sounded like the hothead wasn’t faring much better. Angelino took a deep breath.

“Why did we stop coming here?”

A few seconds of silence. Thinking Vinz needed him to elaborate, he kept talking. “I mean, this place is amazing. S’always been this way, our own little thing, you know? It was hard to get there, I remember that much, but it was always worth it in the end. Sure, we got older and life kinda kept kicking us into the ground, but it was still here, just a few hours away. So why-”

“You mean you don’t remember?”

Angelino cracked his eyes open; Vinz was staring at him with a tired but sharp look, slowly drifting onto the surface of the water. He blinked in confusion. “Remember what?”

His roomate let out an airy laugh, running a now chilly hand against his face. “Figures. Don’t worry it’s fine, s’not a life-or-death kind of info. Uh, do you remember earlier when I told you you almost died here once?”

The hybrid lifted an eyebrow. “Yeah, when you were fucking with me this morning.”

“I wasn’t. It happened, for real.”

“...Oh.”

His best friend was staring at the sky now, hands folded casually in his lap. He continued. “I think we were like, ten? Yeah, sounds about right. We knew this place like the back of our hands by then, so we stopped paying attention to everything so much. We got uh, reckless.”

Hid hands fidgeted with the hem of his soaked shirt. “It was kinda cold and rainy that day, so not the ideal weather to go for a swim, but we didn’t give a shit. It was still better than being with the other stupid brats.” He lifted his arm and pointed to the top of the thin waterfall, about four meters above them. “Happened riiiight there, on that ledge. Take a guess at what happened.”

Angelino rubbed the back of his head, an uncomfortable ache pooling under his palm. “Knowing us, we probably did something stupid and someone fell down.”

“Close enough. Some dumb bets were made, doesn’t matter what they were about, I slipped off the ledge and we both fell. Cuz you tried to catch me.”

The hybrid’s eyes widened. He truly didn’t remember these events at all. And the ache wasn’t going away, even if it wasn’t getting worse either.

“So yeah, we both got knocked the fuck out. Think I busted my ankle too, it hurt like a bitch for days afterwards. Anyway, I think I woke up about ten minutes later? It wasn’t too bad really, just a concussion.” Vinz distractedly ruffled a tree branch hanging low over the basin. “Still, I was pretty damn cold, and the wind had picked up so it wasn’t making anything better. But uh, I realized pretty quickly that I was just peachy compared to you.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Dude. You slid into the basin when you fell and just, soaked there in freezing water for ten minutes. Good thing you were on your back.” He shook his head. “But the thing is, spending that amount of time in the cold is bad for everyone, okay? If you’re really unlucky you get a pneumonia or some shit. You looked like you were dead. Blue skin and everything.” The hothead slid a knowing glance at his friend. “Yeah, that shade of blue. Even without the uh, context we know about now, this was pretty fucking terrifying. Also your nose was bleeding, so there was a nice big head trauma on top of everything else.”

Lino stayed silent.

“I’m not sure how I managed to get us back to the main road, because I was so numb and cold and my leg hurt and i felt like puking my guts out. And bro, no offence but you weren’t exactly a lightweight for me at the time. But we made it somehow, so that was good! But then I uh, passed out again.”

Vinz linked his eyes with Lino’s again, his tone lighter. “But hey, someone found us and got us back to the orphanage, so no one died! …Obviously, I know, shut up. I was really sick for a few days after that -heck we both were, you were out for like a week- but I got over it. The whole incident thing.”

He looked up again. “You uh, didn’t. Not completely. After that, everytime I mentioned this place, or what happened, you got really weird. Like, all distant and jumpy and not all there, you know? Some serious PTSD shit, but I was ten and dumb so I didn’t know shit about that. So I stopped mentioning it, and then you just uh, came back to normal at some point.”

The young man hummed, squinting. “...Aaaand that’s it. We never brought it up again, life kinda happened, freaky shit happened, and now we’re back here. So yeah, I was a bit worried when you told me you wanted to come back. But it went well in the end, right?”

Vinz reached out, lightly touching his best friend’s shoulder with his fingertips. His flames were a cold blue, anxiety radiating from every inch of him. “You aren’t gonna freak out on me, right....?”

Angelino hadn’t stopped looking right at him. Something warm settled onto his features. “Nah. I’m good.”

“Oh thank fuck.”

Vinz let out a nervous chuckle, covering his eye sockets with his arm. “That’s, that’s great. Because I missed this place so fucking much and I’m really glad we came back.”

The half-alien bumped their shoulder together with a small smile. “Yeah, me too. Sorry I got you in trouble.”

“No you’re not.” his childhood friend replied without malice before turning back to the sky, eye sockets slowly closing.

Angelino did the same, darkness filling his vision. The headache was gone. Not in a “I just had an epiphany and remembered everything” kind of way. He still didn’t remember. But that was fine. He was fine. He had to be.

And he sure as shit intended to stay that way, because he knew that that moron would get himself killed trying to help him if he didn’t. He understood the reasoning behind the heat sigils now (watching your friend almost die of cold twice would make anyone paranoid he guessed), but that didn’t mean he had to accept it.

He wasn’t stupid. Coming home one day to find Vinz drained and barely conscious on the couch, the very same day one of his little voodoo -wicca or whatever- thingies stopped a truck from hitting him? It didn’t take him long to put two and two together. That shit could kill him, he knew that.

He wouldn’t let Vinz put his bony ass in danger for him, not if he could help it. By not ending up at death’s door every few days like the dumbass he was.

“Hey Vinz.”

A quiet hum. Quieter than before.

“...Thanks.”

“...Dun mention it. Didja ‘member?”

Vinz was slurring. Count on this weirdo to fall asleep anywhere.

“Nope. Sorry.”

A short silence. Their hands almost touched.

“...S’okay...”

Almost.

“...can ‘member for th’both of us.”

The water was cold, but the sun kept his core warm. Vinz’ slow, even breathing, not far, never far.

He was fine.

*slaps hands on table* 28 STAB WOUNDS-

jk, nothing that extreme. but it did take me eight hours to write this, cuz those two keep escaping me how the fuck do they keep doing that.

also DON’T do what those jackasses did and fall asleep in the sun. you’ll just end up with a monster headache and sunburns.

imma go eat now bye

#mfkz #vingelino #mutafukaz

[lillianfromaccounting]

Finally getting around to this!

Was tagged by @cenobitic-anchorite (thank you!)

Putting this under a read more, because I wrote a lot.

1. What is your favorite movie? My answer to this is always Sleeping Beauty because it was the first movie that I stayed up watching with no adults. Like I must have been around 7 and my older cousin was 12 and we stayed up watching it after all the adults went to sleep. So for me, it signified some sort of independence. (On another note, that same cousin and I also stayed up to watch Pretty Woman before I realized what was going on in that movie.)

I know sometimes it’s a cop out answer, because I really can’t pick a favorite live action movie. There’s too many and I love a lot of them. Also, usually, when I say Sleeping Beauty, based on the other person’s reaction, I can tell if they’ll be compatible and/or get my vibe or not.

2.  If you had to drastically change your hair, how would you cut it and what color would you dye it?  I want rainbow hair, but I can’t have that where I work. I’ve been saying I’ve wanted to dye it red for several months now, but haven’t made the appointment yet (long story, but also mostly me dragging my feet). I’ve ALWAYS wanted a pixie cut, but have always been told that my face shape isn’t good for it (I did it senior year of college and there were people who flat out told me never to get that hair cut again). I’ll do it again, when I feel like I have the energy to maintain it.

3.  Can you drive a manual transmission car? lol, no. I can just barely drive an automatic. (Fact: I got my license at age 23 and didn’t regularly drive until 32.)

4.  What’s your favorite thing to cook or bake? Why? Is there a word limit to this? Cuz we’ll be here a few days. lol Favorite thing to bake is scones because I love scones. I also love to bake pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And anything with a short pastry, so pies, tarts. I LOVE making sweet danishes. Oh crumb cakes. Oooh it’s season for fresh cranberries. I make a really good cranberry lime crumb cake. Cake, in just about every variation (rounds, sheet, cup, etc.) I like these because they’re delicious (and very few bakeries make them well, and I’m a dessert snob. If I’m eating it, it better be worth the calories. I’m also very particular about my cake to frosting/crumb ratio). Also, fact: I suck at baking regular cookies. I can do it, but they never look right and I’m pretty sure I’m screwing up the ratio of dry to wet ingredients or the butter’s not cold enough or something, but yeah, my cookies always look seriously deformed. (yes, I’ve seen that chart that troubleshoots cookies. No, it hasn’t helped.)

Favorite thing to cook. Hm... go to comfort stuff: penne vodka, but really, I like trying new recipes.

5.  How old were you when you got your ears pierced (if your ears aren’t pierced, do you want to get them pierced? The first time I got my ears pierced, I think I was in 8th grade, so 13-ish. After the initial however long it was that you’re supposed to keep them in, I got lazy so I didn’t keep earrings in all the time (and they hurt my ears), so the holes apparently closed. I got them re-pierced in sophomore or junior year of high school and again, after a little while, they closed again. I was thinking about getting them re-pierced again.

6.  Do you like Thanksgiving? Why or why not? I LOVE Thanksgiving. Yes, the historical aspect can go to hell, but personally, I love Thanksgiving. So growing up, being Chinese, we never celebrated American Thanksgiving. When I was about 13, I got a bread making book from the Scholastic book fair and discovered that we had a working oven (Chinese people don’t cook with ovens. We have a wok and a rice cooker. That’s really all you need.). Anyway, I started baking bread and it was amazing.

Also, our local supermarket would do the holiday promotion of if you spend $X, you can get a free holiday protein, and being a household of 8 (sometimes 10), we hit that spending threshold very, very quickly. So one year, I told my mom that we’re getting a turkey, instead of the ham that she likes. She was skeptical, but I was hell bent on celebrating American Thanksgiving and figuring out what this whole turkey hoopla was about.

I started cooking a Thanksgiving feast for my family (immediate and extended) from the age of 14. I did a sticky rice stuffing in the bird. Mashed sweet potatoes (no marshmallow. it’s sweet enough by itself.) I always made a lasagna (with cheese from DiPalo’s, where I would wait hours on line for our order) or another pasta dish. We did Chinese vegetables. And every year, we would pick new recipes we’d want to try. By ‘we’, I mean me. I would pick new recipes that I’d want to try and my three younger siblings would be obligatory sous chefs. And since bread baking happened in the wee early hours of the morning, we would have it for breakfast. So then I expanded the menu to include breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It became an all day thing and I was (and still am) obsessed.

Oh, it probably also helped to know that I come from a very large extended family and everyone would come through our house during holidays. Usually, it’s because my family hosted the mah jong parties, so we were kinda party central. My biggest Thanksgiving, we had about 50 people cycle through the house that day, so I had to make sure I had food enough for 50 people. Growing up, I’m pretty sure we never had less than 30. (It’s been a shock for me these past several years when we’ve hosted less than 20 people on turkey day.)

Then, my siblings would find recipes that they want to try, and Thanksgiving was this day where we would try food. Not all the recipes worked out, but no one ever got sick or food poisoning (oh man, I have stories from adjacent family members). But yeah. It’s an insane production and I love every minute of it (especially since my mom did the clean up, because bless that woman, she messed up Jiffy corn bread mix when she tried to bake, so she sticks to cleaning).

Anyway, after I got married, I demanded Thanksgiving, which my in-laws didn’t care about because they were getting it catered anyway. But I found out the hard way that they’ve sucked the soul out of my Thanksgiving festivities. One person demanded Stove Top (over fresh sausage dressing?!??!!). Fine. Another prefers roasted turkey (as opposed to smoked or fried). Year after year, they keep telling me to make less food, because they don’t enjoy watching me cook (they think I work too hard, but they also don’t understand that I’m having the time of my life).

At this point, I know that in order to get back to the Thanksgiving that I want to celebrate, it will be after that generation has passed. It’s fine.

I used to start planning my Thanksgiving menu in March, studying recipes and picking and choosing stuff up until like two weeks before hand. Ever since the kids came along, that excitement has also waned. But I’m excited for this year. There will be apple cider mimosas. And I’m roasting a savory pumpkin. And there will be artichokes. Oh and one of my good friends went to Dominique Ansel Kitchen’s pie night this year and had a poached pear chocolate pie that she said was divine. I am attempting to recreate it based on her descriptions of the textures and her pictures. This is what I live for.

(where the fuck is that barney stinson challenge accepted gif when you need it?)

and yes, this year will be my 24th year cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

7.  If you could live in the world of one film, which one would you pick? Oh man. D2: The Mighty Ducks. Ok, I lied. I do have a favorite live action movie. I wish I had a more creative answer to this. Yeah, Harry Potter’s world would be cool. Yeah, I identify with hobbits. Any of the Star Treks would also be good in terms of universes. But I want Adam Banks to teach (13-14 year old) me how to ice skate.

8.  What kind of pet have you never had, but have always wanted? lol one of my bffs and I always wanted a baby panda.

9.  If you won the huge lottery, what would be the first 3 things you’d do?Get a good fucking lawyer, set up a shell foundation so it’s not listed in mine or my husband’s name, prepare to disappear after a couple of years of acting normal. Then, for the more fun three, pay off debt, travel, get a house somewhere the fuck else.

Ceno’s answer was too perfect, so I left it, mainly because I’d pretty much do the same. I’d buy my parents a new house and hire a chauffeur for them. Also @katiekeysburg will get a chauffeur. And I’d throw money at teleportation research. And fund a bunch of gofundmes.

10.  Have you ever gotten a tattoo? What is it? If you haven’t, do you want one? I do not have any but I’ve always wanted one of my Chinese name above my ankle and I’ve always wanted the pi character somewhere (debated various locations). One day, when I get the guts to. (and when it’s seasonally appropriate to get one above my ankle, cuz omg I never knew about the various care required while it heals.)

11.  What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? hahaha um. Probably calling the cops on an online friend who I thought was going to kill himself, but he really wasn’t (but I didn’t know that). (hey kids, don’t put your addresses in your aol profiles--yes I’m ancient.) actually, I’ve done my share to stupid aol/online shit. it will probably come back to haunt me if i ever run for public office or marry a celebrity.

Ok, real stupid thing. I’m a severe klutz, and one time I walked off a raised cement slab (like the kind that statues would sit on) and sprained my ankle. It was probably 3 inches off the ground on the side that I got on it, but it was further off the ground on the other side, so when I got off the slab, I misjudged where to put my foot and I rolled my ankle. Ended up at the ER and they put me in a soft cast. I had to have crutches to get around campus and this one guy who I don’t even know his name, picked me up and carried me up the campus hill (we had a really big hill), and it was against my consent. I did NOT want him to pick me up. It was terrible. Anyway, I rolled my ankle by walking. I have tons of stupid shit. How much time you got?

I was also pretty pretentious when I was younger. (I might still be. I’m not as self aware as I wish to be.) I once asked an Italian friend to try my tomato sauce and asked him what was missing because it didn’t taste right. (I know. I was so gross. You learn from your own grossness though.)

What other stupidity? I fawned over boys. My bff gave me a copy of The Giving Tree in college (I had never read it before) as a metaphor of how much of myself I gave to this toxic dude. I sobbed reading it for the first time.

In hindsight, not getting my license at 17 was a pretty stupid move too. But that also had to do with life circumstances.

OH. Turning down an interview for an internship with my dream company at the time, because I had already accepted an internship position with another company.

Trying to explain to my MBA ethics class how my industry worked only to get it mansplained back to me (pretty stupid of me to have tried in the first place).

Going for my MBA was also a pretty stupid move in the holistic view of my life.

12.  Have you accomplished your New Year’s Resolution for 2018? I honestly don’t remember if I even made resolutions, so I’m going to say hard no.

13.  If you could get any degree from any school, free of charge, what would you pick? Criminal Psychology. Ceno, we can go to school together! (this reminds me I need to catch up on last week’s Criminal Minds) Another option would be anything in the forensics sciences. I would also like to learn massage therapy. And I want to take that artisan bread breaking course at the Institute of Culinary Education.

I forget how many people I’m supposed to tag. @katiekeysburg @daisyjm75 @steverogersnotebook

#personal #long post #tagged #this was fun #if only to explain my love of thanksgiving

[pika-ace]

ITH Skyward Sword AU Sneak Peek

Just wanted to give you guys a taste of one of the MANY AUs I’m working on (and ITH Zelda AU is still the best AU, sorry it’s fact X3) 

A few notes to point out that for this AU, Usnavi and Vanessa actually grew up together and are childhood friends, since they live on a small island in the sky with not many people around. They’re not as close as, say, Usnavi and Benny would be, but they’re good friends, and their age gap has been reduced from five years to about two or three years apart. This change was made for chemistry purposes and I wanted to give it a try, but it doesn’t make Usnavi any less flustered around her XD. (Also, for those who don’t know Zelda lore, Loftwings are giant birds you can ride) ((Also also, there’s a bit of Dadnavi and Momnessa in here for Sonny X3))

Summary: After learning that some bullies hid Sonny’s Loftwing away, the reckless boy goes off to look for it in the Waterfall Cave, the only forbidden place in Skyloft. Worried for his safety, Vanessa decides to take up a sword and go after him before he can get into more trouble.

Vanessa hurried off towards her destination, the sword she got from Carla in the Sparring Hall on her back in its sheath. She spied Usnavi flying around on his blue Loftwing, Dulces, but it looked like he didn't have any luck. 

Guess that meant only one thing. Vanessa sighed and leapt across the river; Usnavi was definitely gonna kill him. Vanessa approached the proper path and the familiar sign that stood a few feet before the cave. 

‘Waterfall Cave ahead. Beware of blood-sucking monsters! No kids allowed.’

Vanessa ran up the hill and spotted something shining in the grass, right in front of the wooden spikes preventing her entry. She picked it up and found that it was Sonny’s metal pin bearing the Deity crest. Kid must’ve squeezed through the gate and it fell off. He was a tiny little thing for his age.

Guess the sign didn't turn him around; stupid, brave, kid. 

Vanessa hacked and slashed at the wooden gate until she could step through; they would replace the gate later. And most kids knew better than to come in here. 

The cave was quite dark, but thanks to the reflection of water from deep within, Vanessa could still see. 

Vanessa jogged down the path when a few piles of goo appeared at her feet. They slithered towards her, deformed monsters faces on the front of them. “Ugh…” She groaned, drawing her sword. These things were fucking disgusting. 

She swiftly stabbed them, even going as far as stomping on them to finish them off, leaving thin puddles of goo behind before they vanished in a small puff of purple smoke. 

Vanessa went on her way and eventually reached the window the cave where the waterfall could be seen. Vanessa climbed down a few landings and kept following the path, keeping an ear out for any more monsters. She even found a few Rupees on her way; definitely good to keep around just in case. But there was still no sign of Sonny. Maybe Sonny actually got lucky and made it through without running into anythin- 

A loud scream suddenly cut through the air. Vanessa silently cursed and ran down the path, leaping down from another landing. She could hear the tiny flapping of wings and through the dim light of the cave, she spied the culprits.

A bunch of bats were swarming an area near the ground, and as she drew closer she could see arms flailing desperately to shoo them away. 

“Get away from me!” Sonny was completely surrounded by the little monsters as they pulled at his clothes and scratched at his skin. 

Vanessa ran forward, sword at the ready and easily slashed down the bat closest to her. The rest of the bats scattered away from Sonny, who was now curled into a ball and covering his head with his arms, and darted towards Vanessa.

The bats were child’s play, as Vanessa easily swatted them down with a few good quick strikes, making them fly into the wall and explode in a puff of purple smoke. ‘Why do they do that?’ Vanessa absently wondered, before turning her attention to the boy in front of her. 

Vanessa lowered her sword and Sonny peeked up at her as she glared at him. “What part of ‘blood-sucking monsters’ did you not understand?”

“I wasn’t just gonna abandon my Loftwing!” Sonny shot back, his frame shivering from the assault. 

Vanessa leaned towards him, a flat look on her face, “Blood-sucking monsters.” She repeated with more emphasis. 

“You would’ve done the same thing!” Sonny protested.

“Yeah, but I have a sword,” Vanessa said, giving the weapon a little wave. “You don’t even have a stick.” 

Sonny crossed his arms and pouted, his shivering still apparent, “Whatever…” 

Vanessa sighed and offered him a hand. Sonny took it and Vanessa gave him a quick once over. His clothes were slightly torn in places and there were many cuts on his arms and hands that broke the skin. She also noticed some scrapes on his palms; that was probably when he fell during the attack. 

“You okay?” She asked.

“Yeah…” Sonny nodded. 

Vanessa raised her sword and turned back towards the path, “Stay close, okay?” 

Sonny silently nodded and followed Vanessa down the path. A couple more bats came their way, but they were easy pickings. Eventually, the end of the tunnel came into view and the pair found themselves behind the waterfall. 

“Do you sense your Loftwing?” Vanessa asked. 

Sonny glanced around before nodding, “Yeah, he’s real close, I know it.” 

“Vanessa! Sonny!” The two looked up to see Usnavi flying towards them on Dulces. 

Sonny looked at Vanessa, utter betrayal in his eyes, “You told on me?!”

“He wasn’t the only one worried about you, you little idiot,” Vanessa sniped, giving his shoulder a smack.

Usnavi leapt off Dulces once the ground was near, letting the Loftwing fly away and he bolted over to Sonny. 

“Oh, thank the Deity!” Usnavi exclaimed as he pulled Sonny into a spine crushing hug. “You scared me to death, tu chico estupido! What part of ‘blood-sucking monsters’ did you not understand?!” 

“That’s what I said.” Vanessa couldn’t help but remark, shooting Sonny a look. 

Sonny started to turn red from both embarrassment and annoyance, and Usnavi pulled away to grasp his face and look him over, “Are you hurt anywhere? No bites or cuts? Nothing broken?” 

“Geez, Navi, they were just bats,” Sonny said bitterly. 

“Bats that almost ate you.” Vanessa said, grabbing Sonny’s arm to reveal the slightly torn clothing and the tiny red scratches from the monsters’ claws. 

Usnavi’s eyes grew wide and he easily found the other scrapes on Sonny’s body from where he fell. “Oh gods…” 

“It’s just cuts, Usnavi,” Sonny said as his older cousin rummaged through his pockets. “Seriously, they don’t even hurt.” 

“Yeah, well you can never be too careful,” Usnavi responded, pulling out a small glass vial of red potion. “Drink this.” 

Sonny sighed irritably, but did as he was told, making his cuts slowly vanish. Ever since Sonny fell and scraped his knee when he was two, Usnavi always made a point to carry red potion on his person. 

Usnavi sighed, “You’re going to give me a heart attack one day.” 

“Don’t worry,” Vanessa gave Sonny a nudge, “Once he turns eighteen, he can take up swordplay with me.”

“Absolutely not,” Usnavi answered instantly (ignoring Sonny’s groan, “Aw c’mon, cuz!”). “He’s reckless enough on his Loftwing, I’m not gonna-” 

Usnavi stopped suddenly and blinked. “What?” Usnavi turned away and stared off the edge of the land they were on, “...Who is that?” 

“Usnavi?” Vanessa asked, a frown on her face. “You okay?” 

Usnavi was silent for a moment, then shook his head, “Uh, it’s nothing,” He said. “Anyway, Sonny, is your Loftwing nearby?” 

“Yeah.” Sonny nodded, pointing to the path ahead, “I’m pretty sure I can feel him; he’s this way.” The three hiked up the grassy hill until they spied a cave up ahead that was boarded up. And flapping madly about inside, was a yellow Loftwing. 

“Chip!” Sonny exclaimed. He ran up to the wooden boards, nearly slamming against them. The yellow Loftwing screeched loudly, jumping around and flapping his wings, pleading for freedom. 

Sonny pulled against the boards trapping his Loftwing, but they stuck tight. The boards were sturdy and held tightly against the mouth of the cave with thick ropes tied between pairs of iron bolts. 

“Hang on, Chip, we’ll get you out of there!” Sonny reassured. 

Vanessa drew her sword, “I got this; stand back, Sonny.” With a few good, clean swipes, the ropes were sliced and the boards fell away from the cave. 

Chip walked out of the cave and stretched his wings with a happy squawk before turning to his young rider. Chip lowered his head and Sonny threw his arms around the bird’s neck, allowing the creature to nuzzle him. 

“I missed you too, buddy.” Sonny said softly. 

Usnavi gave the bird a once over, “He doesn’t look hurt; he was probably really spooked though.” 

Chip let out a soft cry and Vanessa gave him a pat. “You poor thing,” Vanessa cooed. “You must’ve freaked out when Sonny called you and you couldn’t come.” 

Chip gave Sonny one more nudge before flapping its wings. Usnavi, Vanessa and Sonny all stepped back as the Loftwing took off into the sky where it quickly met up with Vanessa’s red Loftwing, Pepe, and Dulces. 

“Well, that’s a load off my shoulders,” Vanessa remarked with a small stretch. “Now I can ace that Wing Ceremony without worrying about Sonny falling to his death.” 

Sonny shot her a look, but eventually looked at the ground sheepishly, wringing his hands, “Thanks, Van…” He said softly. “You know, for before-” he gestured to the cave, “and for, catching me earlier.” 

Vanessa smiled and ruffled Sonny’s hair affectionately. 

“Well, we better tell Abuela that the Wing Ceremony can go on now,” Usnavi said, heading towards the platform that was nearby, “We can fly there.” 

The three headed to the edge of the platform, when Usnavi paused in the same manner as before. After a beat of silence, he spoke, “Vanessa?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I...I heard a voice just now; did you hear it?” 

Vanessa shook her head, “I didn’t hear anything.” 

Sonny went to his cousin’s side and touched his arm, “Was it the same voice from before?” He asked softly. 

Usnavi nodded, sharing a look with him, and Vanessa frowned, “What are you talking about?” She never appreciated it when they had their ‘secret cousin communication’ in front of her and not clue her in.

 “Well, lately I’ve been hearing this voice calling out to me,” Usnavi explained, a touch of uneasiness in his voice. “I don’t know who it is, but...I have the weirdest feeling that it’s coming from below the clouds.” 

Vanessa started, “But...there’s nothing below the clouds.”

“That’s what they say but, some of Abuela’s old stories say that there’s a whole world down there, even bigger than Skyloft.” 

Vanessa stared at the endless sea of clouds below them; a world beyond Skyloft. Wouldn’t that be a sight to behold? For so long, Vanessa always felt like she wanted to be somewhere out of Skyloft, or just out of the sky in general. If there was a whole world down there, Vanessa now ached to see it. 

Usnavi eventually blinked like he was snapping out of a daze, “We should get going,” He said. He gave Sonny a pat on the back, “It looks like Chip is waiting for you.” 

Sonny and Vanessa nodded, and they got ready. The three leapt off the platform and whistled one at a time in tandem. 

At the same time, the three Loftwings caught their respective Masters, and took off into the sky. 

Sonny gripped Chip’s feathers and the Loftwing swayed and zoomed through the air, ecstatic to be free. 

They spent a little time in the sky, simply flying over Skyloft and enjoying the feeling of flight that they all had grown to love so dearly, when they finally decided to split up. 

Usnavi and Sonny flew back to the academy to tell Abuela the good news and Vanessa headed to the plaza, but not before telling Sonny to give Abuela the names of the brats who stole his Loftwing.

#ahhh this is my first time writing in vanessa's pov!! #i hope i'm doing it right! #and yes #vanessa's loftwing is named pepe taken from west side story #and usnavi's is called dulces taken from the name of his cat in intheheightsandfluff's fic #and chip is a bird here #cause sonny would have no one else obviously #in the heights #au blurbs #zelda au #vanessa otilia garcía #usnavi de la vega #sonny de la vega #i really hope i finish this #the vansnavi fluff that comes from this is freaking amazing #i didn't include much here cause i'm still not confident about it #i suck at writing romance #so enjoy this #also if you're still reading nina and benny have other roles in this story #i'll give you a hint they're not humans who live in skyloft X3

[peggyobrennan]

Identity Crisis Summer 2017

The world has twisted since this picture taken at National Rainbow Gathering last year, and so have I.

A deep depression has taken hold, even though I’m back on Cymbalta for it. I start therapy tomorrow, so let’s hope there’s at least no harm...

I must open up, in hopes there are hopes.

I tried writing about it, gonna share.

I called it: Identity Crisis Summer 2017:

So much irony having an identity crisis because I've come Home and am living with Family (blood, not Chosen). But I individuated so very very strongly, and then some. Ran away age 14, came back at 15. Ran away age 26, came back age 30. Ran away last spring, came back now. Moved to the other side from family of Rock Creek Park (after months in the mountains) to raise my kids in a diverse community, against Dad’s wishes, and ...I dunno, was he right? After age 10 they had a less privileged upbringing, which turned profoundly underprivileged, and now the side effects of poverty haunt us.

More irony is that there are facts of my existence that are very unusual, yet I feel nothingness, emptiness, clear vast blank, which is sometimes euphoric but mostly terrifying.  I have rare traits, and I didn't fabricate them. Like I birthed twins, accidentally concieved but profoundly WANTED, and their dad was/is a sh*t. He did things that would be impossible in the age of social media, even tho I understood we had an open marriage. Use your imagination.

I have the drive that artists have, yet the unmotivated state of a depressive.

One of my beloved musical partners said a year ago, “Oh, are you just gonna do Walkabout?” and my answer was YES, sincerely, but I kept letting my non-shine-ity hold me back. And I got wrapped up in some dreamtime, sorta. I DID go many many miles and have lots of adventures and see scads of sights. Then NYC in April/May was kinda painful, cuz I THOUGHT I could do the job at the lovely Ganas Community, but they let me go and my poverty mentality grabbed their offer of  “Sure take the whole paycheck, but be gone if so” (it's more complicated) and I regret that, MAYBE.

Maybe not, cuz my daughter DID get deep strong benefits from Mom being Home. Until we clashed last week when I got profoundly triggered and alienated her. (Which would explain Strong Sadness) Prayers requested for HER healing, which'll overflow to US.

IS there such a thing as a Healer who loses her sh*t, gets profoundly triggered and alienates her beloveds? Why yes, every shaman I know personally (and there are many) does that. But I then doubt my healing abilities. The Wounded Healer is a real thing but your own healing should have actually happened! Mine has, but I guess I'm in relapse.

Yet, last Solstice, 3 weeks ago, the circle I was part of insisted on my priestessing some of our process, and I did it. And my daughter lovingly attended with me, and she knew the Spiritual Giant Women who were in the circle since her childhood. That is good, deeply good.

Then on our way out that beloved young woman said I was like “comic relief for the circle”, a jester's role that sometimes (frequently) works for me. But does that mean I was justified in reading about Pierrot's Columbine's and Harlequin's poly triad (my take) for HOURS the other day, learning way more than I can use about jesting, and dreaming more?!? I don't know. I sure do love learning and exploring. And dreamtime.

Also on our way out of Solstice ritual my daughter called her twin brother to describe our antics. The wondrousness of shamanic dancing. I THINK she was telling that, but I have Selection Bias, though I KNOW she was delightfully recalling.

He wasn't there because 1)it's a women's circle, not my choice originally 2)he insisted there is no such thing as spirituality, though I would love him to argue that I've also got THAT wrong.

He, my beloved son, called me last Saturday, after I spent Friday night in the hospital. He showed his philosophical bent and worked to reassure me that everything is ok, bless him (oops). He Stood Up for Mom. See, my siblings? This is an excellent young man. Period.

They'd been recommending surgery, which is always to be avoided. I have a complicated medical history that is disgusting and infuriating to hear. So I'll spare you, even though it matters for this. Most pertinent NOW is that the red streaks radiating from the (internal) wound are gone and the pain is too. And more surgery would undoubtedly cause more adhesions which started this whole thing, besides incompetence of medical professionals. See my performance piece entitled A Scar Is Born, with the happy face ending. It isn't online; hopefully someday. I waver between open book and discretion. Frustratedly. Of course I would benefit from a manager and an agent.

I am in limbo of sorts. I have deep friends, and also am “getting the word out”, and the fact is, I use social media a lot. If it isn't interactive, social media can be mentally harmful. Sez I and others.

Home? Hometown? My family of origin has rejected me harshly, mostly in those microagressive ways, but more. Attempting to have my children removed and put in foster care in 2006, and other outrageous treatment of my children and me. Cousins and extended family are quite decent and loving. One must mention the mental illness of my older sister, who fixated on me (and mine) or decades, wrangling other family against me. Though it began very young, that's over now.

Part of my family's rejection might come from the fact that I am not straight. I was born with the bisexuality. It's true that I wouldn't have had to act on it, even though I already had at age 7, and then how about this one: I truly am gender nonconforming. I was in a theatre play at at the age of 12 in which I played a man, so maybe that's to blame, but I was always been told to be more ladylike, and only with the recent freedoms granted have I not had massive angst about clothing. Instead I've been doing drag surreptitiously for over 3 decades. At an all girls camp, one must have “drag”, teehee. The girl who played the (cross dressed) lead was stunning and talented and I had a big crush. Didn't recognize it for what it was. Nowadays I would have been allowed to. A few weeks ago I was in line at a pharmacy and the person behind me didn't think I was moving fast enough, so they said “Ma'am? Uh, sir? Erm. There's a space in front of you.” Just a few days ago at the hospital my attending physician asked if I was sexually active, immediately following with “Male? Female? Both?��� to which my easy answer was “Both”. Because she offered me that option and it is truth. Before our recent liberations, I would have had to quickly discern how to honestly answer, so as to not offend the doctor and stay pertinent to the case. MY gender and sexuality are twisted together, but please know that they are not the same thing. Always the activist, another problem of mine...

More reason to not feel nothingness: I'm a recovering alcoholic addict, and the stats are low for longterm recovery. Another rarity. I have become a sort of 12 Step Junkie, so I have that indoctrination of  “A day without ____ is a productive day”, but... it rings hollow too much, so YAY for all the other tools. Like not isolating and having a network of people, but ironically I am only speaking with one or two f2f. Depression is contagious; gods forbid I bring it on you. My latest are NarAnon but the Most Useful is Underearners Anonymous. Here's how I'm not gonna break the 11th tradition: I know people in those programs, and I did not say I was a member. This is the 1st time I've ever even come close. My intense fear of doing a wrong thing is probably at play here.

Furtherly ironic is me not playing music with others, or at all; more of the self-destruction of depression. Until yesterday, I hadn't picked up my guitar in 9 days, practically a CRIME for a string player. One benefit of being in my home city COULD BE the network of musical connections that I truly developed here. Just a few years ago there were several public events where when I showed up without my instrument, I got scolded. But I need Right Livelihood, and there are many factors that have made music not my livelihood.

Yet I still am having a massive identity crisis. And having the classic symptoms of depression, Very Low Motivation, confusion, sadness, indecision, vicious cycles of ill health due to lack of self care, because... what's the use. It is significant that I went for medical care the other day and fortunate that I did. I will never suicide; I could not do that to my kids.

I am researching grad school to get a master's in psychology and become addictions counselor, hopefully utilizing my BA in studio art, my musical core, my jesterly nature, and my initiation as shamanic healer. Attempting research while wasting time, cuz I aint worth the effort, and having fabulous sammiches.

Obviously I am also hyper-graphic, compulsive with many things, and am knowingly using the hour of Good Mood that follows Morning Coffee to write this. I'm also considering full time work for a friend's Green Company, secretarial stuff. I do hope they actually noticed how genuinely butch I am, and heard me when I said grad school is likely in my near future.

Anyway, idletime is for the birds. Though I'm tremendously grateful for the Soft Landing that my auntie is providing for me here in NW DC. I just wish I wasn't living alone, but a beloved cousin has invited me to her beautifully crowded house in Bethesda for grad school time, and we're talking.

This beautiful picture of Rainbow Gathering 2016 feels worlds away. In many ways, it is. But I myself took it, and I was there. Sincerely. Just because the Spirit Names I have been given didn't stick, and I look like a Failed Soccer Mom with the S.A.D. Diet to strangers (deformed belly with that old wound, & authentic Nighttime Binging Disorder, please don't shoot me), doesn't mean I don't have relevant vital depth and value.

Depression sucks. It killed many members of my family and it's not gonna take me.

I'm just changing, and seeking. I was a performance artist, I was an illustrator, painter, my writing has been published, I will always be a musician, even if I believe people who consider females incapable of that, eff that. I am a multimedia artist. I put on an excellent concert 10 days ago. I had a visual art exhibition 16 months ago. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and goldangit I handled the weirdest election in US history in a coal town, worked their general store, then worked in another pretty-well-integrated-with-mainstream commune (my preferred lifestyle, attempting freeganism, seriously) in NYC and … I'm gonna figure out how to tell these tales. And integrate them with my life.

#depression sharing bipolypagan