#cullen: i'm not stupid >:( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

highwayorgantrade · 1 year

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Honesty Hour

Pairing: (cis)female reader x Jasper Hale

Word Count: 4.5k (oh god, just look at the author's note for this one.)

Warnings: Drinking, cursing, mentions of drug use, reader is inebriated, drunk sex (please don't do this unless you have sober and active consent!!), unprotected sex, men in blonde wigs, orgasm denial.

Summary: When you invited the Cullens to a house party, you really didn't expect them to come. You also didn't expect the quietest sibling to back you into a dark room.

Spotify Playlist: Honesty Hour

A/N: So many bad influences! I intended to imply that the reader is 21, as this is happening in college, and Alice and Jasper are not mates, merely siblings :) And I know I keep apologizing for how long my fics are, and yet I change nothing! This is my first time ever writing smut, and I just kept dwelling over it for so long. To consistent 18+ authors: I have the utmost respect and love for you. Y'all seriously keep this world turning.

"No, listen, I'm talking about a Euphoria-styled house party. But without all the hard drugs or a huge fight. Maybe a huge fight." Your friend was clearly excited about her spring break party, barely even stopping to let you get a word in. You set your backpack on a bench, pulling out your water bottle. If you were going to be drinking tonight, you would probably need it. "And I know you don't have a lot of friends, but invite whoever you want."

"You absolute snake." You hit her lightly, and noted the Cullens headed in your direction.

"Isn't it kind of weird that they move in a pack? Kind of... cult-y." She asked, trying not to make her prying obvious. Yeah, it was weird, but didn't everyone kind of stay with their own pack?

"I would kill someone to be that close to my family, honestly." You replied, and an idea struck you. "Think they would come?"

"I don't know, I haven't ever seen them at a party before."

"I feel like a real cult would go to lots of parties." You shrugged. "You know, to get their foot in the door." You set down your water bottle, and walked over to the group. What was the worst they could do? Say no?

"Hey!" You called out, grabbing the attention of... all of them. They eyes on you suddenly made you feel inferior, and your resolve cracked. "My friend is throwing a party tonight, and we wanted you to know that you were invited!" Their silence only made you talk more. "It's cool if you don't come, it's just going to be a bunch of loud music and drinking, but you know... Yeah."

What a strong note to finish on. You were about to walk away, when one of the girls spoke up. Her hair was really cute, and you made a mental note to tell her so someday.

"Yeah, we'll come! What time?" She asked, and you were taken aback by her light voice.

"Well, we told everyone 9, but it'll probably start getting fun around 11 or so. It's at 1171 Big Pine Way. You'll really come?" Your confirmation wasn't unwarranted. They never really spoke to anyone else, but it's not like they were bullies or anything. You recalled the other week, when that poor girl's research paper fell out of her hands, the really big one helped her organize it. "Can I-" Was this rude to ask? "What are your names? So I can scream it in excitement later."

One of the boys, the blonde one, caught your eye, and the corner of his mouth twitched up. Oh God. Why would you say that? It started off as such an innocent question, but your stupid attempt at a joke went completely sideways. You felt the urge to confirm what you meant - you meant that you got very friendly when you were drunk. Backtracking now would mean that you knew you said something wrong.

"I know what you meant." She laughed. "I'm Alice, this is is Emmett, Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie. Don't worry, we don't expect you to remember that right off the bat."

"Good, because I don't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning."

"Well, we most definitely are coming." Alice smiled at you, and you believed her. Okay, good. Social interaction check passed. You both began to go your separate ways, until a voice stopped you.

"Hey." You turned around to see the blonde one. Jasper? Jasper had his mouth set in a half-smile. "It was nice to meet you."

"Yup!"

Yup? Seriously? Yup? If he was actually coming tonight, you were going to be in big trouble.

<- ->

The music pulsed, people were everywhere, and you were hot. Not just you as a person (although you knew you kept this outfit for a reason.), but you were warm as hell. Not only was the house packed with people dancing, girls running around trying to find their friends, and boys scouting for whichever girl was willing to lower her standards, but the 2 vodka sodas and the few shots caused your nose to go numb, and you expected your lips to be next.

You haven't seen any Cullen sibling yet, but it wasn't for lack of looking. You know what? If Jasper didn't come and see how super hot you look, then that's on him. His loss. What do you care? Actually, why do you care? He had barely spoken 7 words to you, and they were all pleasantries. Ugh, you needed another drink. When you approached the table full of various amounts of alcohol, you stared at the selection. Okay, you don't want to get super messy drunk, you're enjoying the buzz you have right now, but drinking water just seems so boring.

"Need help?" Jesus fucking Christ! The deep voice suddenly behind you made you jump, causing a small clattering of the bottles next to you.

"Jasper!" Okay, do not act drunk. You do not know this man well enough to act drunk around him. "You came!" You felt the smile cracking across your face, and he feigned a surprised face. "I really wanna hug you right now, but I don't know if you consent to that, so I will keep my arms to myself. Just know that I'm emotionally hugging you!"

What. The fuck.

"You can hug me if you want, I won't bite." He shrugged, pulling you out of your shame spiral. He said you could hug him! Your excitement was immeasurable, and before you could move, he pulled you into his chest with a firm grip.

"I'm so happy you came! My friends got boring so I went looking for any one of you!" You babbled when you pulled away (but God, he smelled like pine and something earthy, but clean. Incense? Either way, you wished you could stay there.) "Did you know that you smell like incense?" Your thoughts jumped from one train to another, and Jasper couldn't help but smile as he tried to navigate the two separate topics that were happening.

"Yeah, Edward and Rosalie probably weren't going to come, but Alice and Emmett got caught up in a paper." He answered your questions in quick succession. "I did not know I smelled like incense, that's nice to know. What are we deciding on?" He glanced at the table.

"I like the smell of incense." You added, before turning back to the bottles. "I'm not interested in drinking anymore, but I don't want to drink water. But I'm also not interested in soda, either."

You both stayed quiet for a moment, considering your options.

"I think there's sparkling water in the cooler by the couch, if you want to sit down." He suggested. You just stared at him. At first, it was because that was the greatest idea you had ever heard. And then, it was because, simply put, you liked looking at his face. His features were soft, an extreme mirror to the resting bitch face he walked around campus with. The scars that you knew you wouldn't ask about added an air of danger, that he had been through something, and survived. The faintest hint of a smile was left on his face as he stared right back at you, waiting for a response.

"Sorry, you're really pretty, I got distracted! Sparkling water sounds great!" You grabbed him by the hand and pulled. His skin was cold, freezing, actually, but it felt really nice against the warmth of the rest of your body.

"You're very honest when you're drunk!" Jasper ran his free hand through his hair and let out the most gentle laugh you had ever heard.

"It's the best time to get to know each other! Want some more honesty?" He nodded. "I want to hear you laugh more." You sat down on the couch, grateful to be drinking something that tasted like alcohol, but wouldn't get you stumbling up the stairs.

"What do you want to know? I'll match your honesty." He sat down, and you turned your body so you were facing him. What were all the things everybody wondered about the Cullens? Why are they all so hot? Why didn't they really talk to anyone else? Why are Emmett and Alice working on a paper on a Friday?

"Where are you from? You have a southern accent." You stated, cocking your head.

"I do. I'm from Texas, and Carlisle adopted me when I was 17. I have a question for you."

"I'm an open book." Your arms gestured openly, hoping he would ask you anything, something you could say 'yes' to. He could ask you to ride into war, and you absolutely would.

"What's your name?" Before you could process the question, the answer slipped out of your mouth.

"Yes."

Well. At least it was firm. "I, uh, my name is (Y/N)." Jasper held out his hand, and you gave it to him, expecting him to shake it. What you didn't expect was Jasper leaning his head low, and placing the softest kiss you've ever known on the back of your hand. Your mind went blank and absolutely crazy at the same time. The eye contact didn't help the jump in your stomach, and the feeling of your heart in your throat.

"Pleasure to meet you, (Y/N)." He pulled back, and smiled at you, like he hadn't just committed the most sinful act of chivalry imaginable. "Your turn for a question."

"Why did you do that?" There were so many other questions you wanted to ask, but that was the only one on your mind at the moment.

"I was greeting you the way I believe you should be greeted. Did you not want me to do that?" Jasper quipped, but he already knew the answer to that one. You knew he did. He placed his hand on your knee, and your brain short-circuited once more.

"I didn't know that was something I wanted until you did it. Why are you looking at me like that?" He had not once taken his eyes off of you, and his gaze at you would've made you press your legs together if you weren't so focused. You would do anything to keep his hand on you.

"I'm looking at you like this because-"

"(Y/N)!" Please, no, not right now. You felt a hand grip your upper arm and start pulling. "Please come dance with me!" Your friend, completely oblivious to the scene in front of her, had finally found you. Your back and forth with Jasper was over. The pull of not wanting to dampen her spirits battled with your intense desire of staying in the little world you were in with Jasper. "Ugh, he'll still be here at the end of the song, won't you?" She looked at him with pleading eyes, and he leaned away from you.

"Absolutely. Go." He waved his hand toward her, and the same crooked smile crossed his face. Wait, he's supposed to be on your side!

"Betrayal. That one hurts. Hurts my heart." You rolled your eyes and set your water down. "Stop trying to dislocate my arm, damn it!" You yelled at her, and you could swear you could hear that same stupid, quiet laugh.

"Here, take this!" Your friend grabbed two shots off a table, and handed them both to you.

"What do you want me to do with this?" You shouted, as you both had moved into the group of people dancing, and the music was loud.

"I want you to drink it and to stop being such a pussy!" She tipped the cup towards your face, and soon, it had burned their way down your throat. "And now, dance with me like you wanna dance with him!" She tilted her head in Jasper's direction, and to your surprise, he was still watching you. Carefully. You did like the song, and what’s the worst that could happen? Worst possible scenario: Jasper is so disgusted with your dancing that he leaves and you never talk again? Okay, that's not an option.

Almost instantly, your mild anxiety and self-consciousness disappeared, and you were overwhelmed with new confidence. Whatever was in that alcohol, it made you feel hot. This wasn't the same hot feeling from earlier, but you felt perfect. Jasper was so far from your mind at the moment, you just wanted to physically represent how amazing you were feeling. You glanced over to where Jasper sat, whether to make sure he was watching or not make sure he wasn't watching, you weren't sure. Either way, he was not watching. In fact, he had disappeared entirely.

You had barely started to groan in disappointment, when you felt a shock - an arm had wrapped around your waist and was guiding you out of the crowd. Okay, you were gonna go with this adventure. You looked up to meet your captor, and you were met with Jasper's tightly clenched jaw.

"Where are we going?" You questioned him, as he weaved you through the crowd, carefully avoiding the people.

"Are we still doing the honesty thing?" He looked down at you, and leaned in slightly so you could hear him. He could be leading you to your death, for all you could care. He could be leading you straight to eternal damnation and you would skip happily behind him. You nodded as well as you could with your neck craned, when you suddenly weren't next to him anymore. your back pressed against the wall, and Jasper's hand was placed between your head and the wall, and the grip on your arm was bruising. His eyes bore into yours, and you never felt more like prey in your life. And you could play that part well. "Then tell me, why were you dancing like that?"

"For your attention." You lifted your head so your lips were merely inches from meeting, and you smiled, the hand behind your head twitching slightly. "Did I get it?" Your voice was quiet, and you barely recognized the sound.

"Now normally," Jasper placed a soft kiss on your cheek, and his hand went from your arm to your waist. "This would have taken months. I would've taken my time with you, like you deserve." You keened at his response. You didn't want to take your time, you were barely holding yourself together now.

"There's a difference between what I deserve and what I want." Jasper laughed, and glanced down at your lips

"There's a difference between what you want and what you need." He growled before turning you into a doorway, and you found yourself in a dark room, a red glow being cast by the strung up lights.

"Will your friend mind if we use this?" Jasper breathed behind you, gesturing to the familiar bedroom.

"She might bake me a cake." You laughed, and with a rush of bravery, you pulled the neckline of Jasper's jacket into you, and you finally kissed.

His tight grip on you moments ago seemed far away, as it seemed like he was now afraid to touch you - like you would break. His hands hovered at your sides, barely touching you.

"(Y/n)" He whispered between kissing you, never wanting to pull away. "(Y/n), are you sure? We don't have to."

"So all that talk about what I want and what I need was bullshit?" You snaked your hand into his hair and clenched, his hair wrapped tightly around your fingers. Your confidence grew when you heard his low groan. Your free hand found the zipper of his jacket, and pulled it down the rest of the way. Jasper didn't hesitate to help you pull it off.

"I just want..." He lifted your head with his thumb, and began in on your neck. You felt your stomach drop, and when your knees buckled, he placed you back on the bed. "I wanted to make sure you wanted this." He stood above you, and in the light, Jasper actually looked kind of scary. He smirked, like you had voiced that observation. His hand reached toward your face, and on instinct, your lips parted for his thumb to toy with your bottom lip. "You look beautiful tonight, but don't think this is the only time I've noticed you." He leaned towards you slightly, until your hips met, and you twitched at the contact, gasping. "I've noticed that you prefer doing your work alone, and that you like to color code your notes." He pushed his thumb past your lips, and you accepted it gratefully. "I noticed that you wear your emotions on your face, especially when someone interrupts you."

Jasper stared down at you, that goofy half smile on his face again. His analysis of you made you feel exposed, and you realized he was waiting on you to make the next move, as if the two of you were playing chess. God, you just wanted him to move. You ground your hips onto his, eliciting a gasp from him, and you raised your eyebrow. He slowly withdrew his hand from your face, and you whined when his thumb left your mouth.

"Jasper, please." You begged, sitting up to pull his shirt off of him, and holy fuck, those scars were bigger than you thought. You didn't know where they were from, or who gave them to him, but the sight went straight to your core.

"Please what, honey?" Jasper drawled, hooking your chin and tilting your head up. "Look at me."

The last remnants of your pride and dignity went out the window as you took a deep breath.

"Please just fuck me. Please."

The energy in the room completely switched as you spoke those words, and frustration clawed at your throat. Jasper's face darkened, and your breath hitched in your throat, almost choking you.

“How much do you like this outfit?” He tugged lightly at the material of your pants.

“Well, I’d like to keep it.”

“Then you have two minutes to take it off before I destroy it.”

Well.

As you tugged your shirt over your head, Jasper slid your shorts down your legs, sprinkling light kisses on your hips, praising you.

“You’re good at following directions.” He glanced up at you and smiled, taking in your body, and touching whatever he could.

“You’re good at giving them.” Your voice was breathy, and Jasper's teasing was driving you absolutely insane. His hands burned trails up and down your thighs, squeezing lightly. He laughed at the desperate noises you made, and slid your underwear off, kissing everywhere except right where you needed him to. The waves of annoyance mixed with pleasure rolled off of you, causing you to writhe under him.

"Alright now." He placed his forearm over your hips, barring you from moving anymore. "None of that, honey. Look at me."

You had barely made dizzying eye contact with Jasper when he latched himself onto your clit, sending electricity running through every vein in your body. Instinctively, your back arched, and your hands gripped the bedsheets in a desperate attempt to ground yourself. His arm moved from your hips to make easy work of keeping your thighs open for him.

"Oh, God Jasper, please, please don't stop." Your rambling came between gasps. It was like you were drowning, and Jasper was doing nothing to help you.

You felt like you were on fire, and it was only getting hotter as you felt the desperation. You rocked your hips impossibly closer to Japser's mouth, feeling every single nerve explode under his lips. You were so, so close, and just when you began to feel yourself unravel, the sensation was completely gone.

There is no fucking way he just stopped.

He began kissing up your stomach, glancing at your wildly confused and betrayed face.

"How many times have I told you to look at me?" His smile was mocking, like he knew your answer wouldn't be correct.

"What? Maybe twice?"

"Mhm." He continued kissing up your body, until he had reached your chest. "And how many times have you done it?" In lieu of a response, you groaned when he began sucking a mark onto you. "Zero." When Jasper brought his mouth up to your neck, you prepared for him to give it the same markings that were now on your chest. You snaked your hands into his hair, pulling gently. Instead, Jasper hovered, your combined heavy breathing pressing your chest into his. His ragged breath almost made it sound like he was growling, and the thought sent your heart pounding.

"You are..." Jasper let out of dark chuckle. "I don't think I could ever get enough of you." His teeth grazed your skin, and for a split second, you almost felt like you were in danger, like you were merely prey that was being toyed with. Your nails dragged down Jasper's back, a desperate attempt to get him to just move. He pulled back to look at you, and... Weren't his eyes a light brown color? In the light, somehow, they looked pitch black, almost consuming his entire eye. "Beg for me, darlin'. Come on." He goaded. Your hesitation resulted in silence, and his hand trailed down your body, fingers toying with your entrance. A smile slowly made its way onto his face, and his eyebrow raised, waiting for you to collect yourself enough to speak.

God, if just his hand made you feel this good... Fuck it. No shame.

"Jasper, please fuck me, please. I want it so bad." Your begs almost came out as sobs, and Jasper's expression darkened.

"Put your hands above your head." He drawled, and you immediately obeyed, remembering the consequences if you don't listen. "Such a fast learner." He cooed at you, one hand meeting your wrists, and pinning them down. Anticipation jumped in your stomach as you felt Jasper position himself at your entrance, soft moans and curses falling from your mouth. He leaned down, placing a surprisingly soft kiss to your lips. Almost all of your focus dissipated as you focused on how his lips moved against yours, how you could almost feel the lopsided smile curling the edges of his lips. Jasper's grip on your wrists tightened, and Jasper finally pushed inside you.

Jasper didn't look as muscular as he was, and he certainly didn't act as big as he was. The feeling of him bottoming out was dizzying, and his low groans were destroying you from the inside out. Finally, he began to move as gently as possible, but the feeling of him inside you turned any logical thought, any conscious decision, into dust. All you could think about was Jasper, and how he ruined any resolve you once had. His hands moved from your wrists down to your hips, making absolutely sure you felt every inch of him.

“Fuck, I can’t, I gotta-“ He breathed, and hearing Jasper curse sent you reeling. Jasper began to snap his hips into you, the slow start completely abandoned. His hands rolled your hips in rhythm, and with every thrust, the edges of your vision blurred. Your nails found purchase in his back, the pleasure making you fall silent. “No, ma’am, I need to hear you.” You were grateful the music was so loud, as you’re absolutely sure without it, the entire house would hear your cries. Jasper began peppering rougher bites on your neck, and you knew that you would be marked up for weeks to come. Good.

The familiar feeling of falling over the edge rose again in the pit of your stomach, and you hesitated. You didn't want this to be over, and you focused on keeping your head about you.

"Jasper, please." You groaned into his neck, looking for anything to focus on other than the growing fire in your core. There was no doubt, Jasper was destroying you. He was destroying you from having sex with anyone else, he was ruining your desire to cling onto anyone but him.

"Come on, darlin'." You could tell Jasper was close too, his thrusts were faltering, and his grasp on your hips was only getting tighter. "Let go for me, just let yourself go." You felt like you were falling down a hole that had no certain end, and you were fine with it.

Your body was no longer listening to you, it was only responding to Jasper. At his command, the rope that was holding to you together snapped, and you buried your face into him, your shaking legs trying to press together, only to be held open by Jasper's own hips. He stilled inside you, growling a string of both curses and praise, but you couldn't focus on what he was saying, your mind felt completely numb and blank. You and Jasper had stayed like that for a bit, groaning when he finally slid out of you.

Anxiety bit at you as you grasped for something, anything to say to him. The room was strangely quiet, save for the thumping of the music and your heartbeat. You pulled your clothes on quickly, stumbling a little when you got to your shoes.

“So, uh…” You began, but lost your words when Jasper looked at you again. “I guess I’ll see you at school?” Your voice was timid, unsure of where this would lead, if it would lead anywhere. Surprisingly, he smiled.

“What? Absolutely not. Would you rather I drive you back to your place?”

No! You didn’t want that! You wanted to stay with him. You wanted time to freeze so the two of you could stay in this moment forever. You bit your lip as you pondered any socially acceptable way to phrase that.

“I don’t wanna…” You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. “I want to stay with you. Be with you.” Silence hung in the air, and you didn’t know you were fidgeting with your shirt until Jasper placed his cool hand on yours.

“I can feel that you’re nervous. Why?”

“Are we still doing the honesty thing?” He nodded. “I don’t want this to just be a hookup. I like talking to you. I like making you laugh, because I think you look too serious all the time. I’m nervous because I don’t want to make you feel forced, but-“ He cut you off with a shattering kiss, pulling you in by your waist and gripping you tightly.

“All that talk ‘bout how you should be treated right, (y/n), I was talking about how you deserve to be treated by me." He whispered against your lips. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to come with me, I'm going to drive you to my house, and you'll spend the night. Alice will have clothes for you, don't worry. In the morning, I will be taking you to your place so you can change, and then we're going on a date."

As he laid out his plan, Jasper took your hand, and kissed it once more.

"To your house, like, with your parents? And this all seems very planned out." You had never met, or even seen for that matter, any parent with the Cullens. You had to imagine how amazing they were to raise the kids that they did.

"Stop getting nervous, you don't even need to meet 'em if you don't want to. Trust me though, they'll love you. As for your plans tomorrow, it's been a long time coming, trust me."

"Damn, do I really wear my emotions like that?" You laughed, shocked at how easily he picked up your anxiety.

"Yeah, something like that. Now, come on."

#twilight x reader #twilight imagine #jasper cullen x reader #jasper cullen imagine #twilight fanfiction #jasper hale x reader

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doetic · 1 year

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What Lingers - Dark!Edward Cullen x F!Reader (18+)

Plot: Edward Cullen doesn't know how to handle his crush on the new clerk at his favourite book store. Warnings: NSFW, Dark/yandere Edward, unhealthy obsessive thoughts, sexual thoughts (Edward descends into being a bit of a weirdo perv), Edward gets himself off Word count: 2436 Part 2 (coming soon, send in reqs/ideas!)

A/N: My first fic on this account! I haven't written in a while so I may be a little rusty, please bare with me! I didn't have much time to fully proofread this because I just wanted to get it out, so it may be a little awkward and have some mistakes, sorry! If you like this, feel free to send in requests for a part 2 (I'm thinking of writing it in in reader's pov?) or just any requests in general!

At first, Edward Cullen had thought he was dying. His throat had tightened more than he had thought possible, his mouth dried of all venom, he suddenly couldn't remember how to fake the motions of breathing, and despite knowing that it was impossible for his heart to do anything, he couldn't decide if his heart was being squeezed by some otherworldly force, or was kickstarted into a rapid beating that reverberated throughout his body and sounded in his ears like a drum. He quickly ran through his knowledge of vampiric bodies and health, but came up with nothing that could explain what was happening to him, nothing that could clarify why the mere sight of you had elicited such a visceral reaction from him.

Initially, you didn't seem like anyone particularly special. From your thoughts he discovered you were a writer, daydreaming about the draft you were working on as you were leaned against the wooden book store counter, head lazily rested upon your right hand while the left absently drew shapes onto the antique surface. Occasionally, the thought of your cat would interrupt your brainstorming daydream. A chubby orange tabby that was intelligent in all the wrong things and stupid in the rest, who seemed to cause you endless trouble. You were worried he had turned on the tap to drink from it again, an irksome habit he had that often ran up your water bill as he didn't know how to turn it off. None of your thoughts seemed to stick out to him as something of importance, but admittedly being present in your mind brought him a sense of peace he hadn't felt before. With shy hesitation he would even admit to himself that it somehow felt endearing.

Edward did have to give you credit, you certainly were beautiful by human standards. However, after spending decades around Rosalie and other vampires that had been blessed with an unnatural level of beauty made you seem more mundane to him than you would have appeared to a regular human. The more he thought about it though, the more he found he liked that about you. The pimple that lay just underneath your cheekbone, the natural reddish flush to your lips from a functioning circulatory system, the slight frizz to your hair, the rhythmic sound of air being pushed in and out of your body, and the oh so human eyes that looked up from the desk and met his. You were imperfect, flawed, starkly different from himself who had been biologically engineered to be irresistibly perfect from the first bite Carlisle inflicted upon him. You were intoxicating. Suddenly, Edward understood.

"Oh- Uhm- Sorry- Ah!" You jolted up, quickly shifting from your relaxed lean into a stiff, well postured, standing position as you tripped over your words. Edward could hear your heartbeat speed up. With your thoughts a current incoherent jumble, he was left to wondering if it was out of shock from his presence, or a flustered reaction to his appearance.

You cleared your throat, "Y/n. Hi. I work here now, just moved into town a week ago. Can I help you with anything?" A smile appeared on your face, but one that seemed to come from a place of general kindness (and a little embarrassment), rather than the normal customer service mask people put on. It was a scene Edward wished could wrap around his whole body, holding him tenderly in a sea of gentle warmth.

Thousands of replies appeared in his head, things he could say to charm you, things that could make you swoon, words that could make you laugh (a sound he was certain would be an imperfect crackling melody he would play on repeat in his mind), but when he opened his mouth, none of the above came out.

"Machiavelli." Edward wanted to disintegrate into the floor. He was supposed to start off with a smooth line to make you want to talk to him more, not the first author to appear in his head. Who even randomly thinks of Machiavelli anyways? "Sorry, I'm Edward Cullen. My family was the newest ones in town until a week ago I suppose. I'm looking for anything you might have by Machiavelli." He recovered, playing it safe but still flashing you a dazzling smile that always seemed to charm those who saw it.

You looked away from him. He tried not to clench his fists in frustration. He decided that he enjoyed when you looked at him, he liked looking at the many flecks of different hues and shades that made up your irises. So sweetly imperfect.

"Machiavelli..." You pondered, a finger pressing itself into the plush, slightly chapped surface of your lips. You were running through the layout of the store in your mind, trying to remember where it would be located. Edward felt a little bad for wasting your time, he knew the book store's layout in and out. He didn't actually ever come here to buy anything (although he did so quite often to ensure it would stay in business), but rather the usually empty store was a haven for him where he could pretend to be human again while escaping the constant barrage of other beings private thoughts.

"Okay! I think I remember where it would be, follow me!" You looked back at him with a smile. You didn't have to tell him twice, he would stay on your tail as long as you would let him (and perhaps even longer after that, if he was being honest with himself), your presence being a strawberry scented sirens song that he couldn't seem to want to pull himself away from.

"Of course, lead the way," Edward spoke with a slight grin, finding the words ironic. In reality it was him, the covert apex predator of the animal kingdom, who would be herding you like a sheep wherever he wished.

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

As he stared at your phone number in his hands, the sheet of paper growing softer and more fragile while he toyed with it, Edward Cullen tried to decide that he hated you. It wasn't your fault at all, you had been nothing but perfectly pleasant and kind to him while he was in your presence, but instead it was his own.

You were kind, sweet, caring, imperfect. Those traits flowed through your veins, they even wafted in the air around you, pulling people close to you. After his first slip up with his words, everything between you two went exactly as he wished it would, and your feelings of curiosity towards him combined with the innately biological pull to his honeypot of inhuman beauty led to him getting your phone number. Everything went perfectly in his favour, and that was the problem.

Out of his family it was Rosalie who resented humans the most, and Jasper who kept the most distance from them, but even though he didn't fall at the extreme end of the spectrum, Edward wasn't a big fan of them either. He looked down on them as weaker life forms, sheep disgustingly careless around wolves, a sentiment he was smart enough to know came from a place of jealousy and sorrow, but still not something he harbored enough strength to get over and befriend one... that was until he saw you.

You made him selfish. His hand trembled as the ten endearingly messily inked numbered stared back at him tauntingly. You made him selfish and he hated you and he had to stop being around you. Something about you, your simplicity, your messiness, every imperfect mannerism that overflowed with life drew him in. Edward couldn't deny his nature when you clouded his senses with envy and awe. It was like the scorpion and the frog, Hades and Persephone. He was a hunter designed to lure you into false security before inevitably striking. He knew he couldn't be pure around you, you were a lamb and himself a lion, not a domesticated dog and cat. Biology and the food chain would triumph over his wishes soon enough, he would be an idiot to not know it.

But even so, a voice in his mind nagged at him, making him weak at the knees with bliss at the thought of giving into it. Hadn't he earned the right to be a little selfish? Aside from his rebellious stage, Edward had been so so perfect, a word he grew more sick of by the day. A word that seemed to wrap itself around his throat and tighten oh so slowly as time went on, now an unbearable pressure he was sure could snap his neck. You were everything he wasn't, everything he needed, you were ambrosia while he was on his deathbed. Could he really be faulted for just a sip?

Of course he didn't mean that literally. Although he knew that being close to you would surely end up with his lips stained crimson with blood and sin, there were ways around it. A junkie always finds a way.

Edward Cullen entered your number into his phone, staring at the blank space for him to type in a message for what felt like an eternity before turning it off completely. It wouldn't be the same to communicate digitally. He wanted you in person, laid bare in front of him, your thoughts not even kept private. He wanted to worship you softly, to expose himself to you fully, for his need and adoration for all that you are as an imperfect, truly human, life filled being. And as his thoughts delved deeper into all that you were, his thoughts took on a double meaning.

Edward had never done this before. He knew he was repressed, he was a religious boy from a much more conservative time that had long passed, and he was fine with that. But, he deserved to be selfish. He had never truly indulged himself, who could blame him for what he was about to do? Especially when it was your fault, you were making him imperfect as well.

His porcelain hand brought the now fragile sheet of paper to his nose, and as he breathed deeply he deluded himself into believing a trace of your aura still lingered on it. His hand hesitantly trailed down to his crotch, his fingers lightly touching the bulge through the fabric of his khakis. The foreign sensation made him let out a small whine that he quickly stifled by biting his lip. He was home alone, his family gone to visit the Denali's for a few days during the schools spring break, but it wasn't because he feared being heard that he stopped himself from making noise, but rather a nagging feeling of shame that faded more and more into the background as he slowly rubbed his bulge harder and faster.

He wondered if God was watching him as he undid his pants, pulling down his boxer-briefs with a hesitancy that seemed to flow away the more he melted into the nagging desire to indulge. If he was being watched, Edward decided God had no right to be angry. It was he who decided to put the most tempting creature in the world right where Edward would meet her, he should have known this would happen. Edward wasn't to blame, he was doing what any person would have done in his situation, and what was life anyways without indulgence?

With another deep inhale, Edward grew more confident. Using his leaking tip as lubricant, he began to quickly stroke his length. There was no point in taking things slowly, he had spent his whole life pent up and teased, why would he do it to himself?

Edward thought of what you would do to him. Your deep pink tongue licking from his balls to his tip, your utterly indecent and irresistible eyes, oh so filled with life, gazing up at him tenderly. The thought made him let out a small groan he couldn't stifle in time. Edward thought of how your skin would feel under his touch, smooth and warm with the occasional blemish. He wanted to slowly run his hand up your bare thigh, watching you squirm with need as he showed you just a fraction of what his life was like.

His hand moved faster and faster and he thought of earlier that day, the way you stumbled upon your words when you first saw him. He decided he would coax you into talking during intimacy, wanting to see how you tripped and fumbled the words of praise for him that would flow out of your mouth as he showed you that drinking blood wasn't the only thing his mouth was good for. He would be a bit clumsy in the beginning, but that would be okay for you, wouldn't it? You don't demand perfection, you're soaked in the opposite, and that is perfect to him.

One more inhale had his brain melt, his hand speeding up as much as he can take as he wonders if he'll be your first too. Surely he will be. If this experience taught him anything, it would be that you were made for him, and as he had never felt this pull to anyone else before, he was inclined to believe he was made for you too. He let out a growl as he thought about someone else laying a hand on you, deciding he should just claim you when the opportunity arises, painting your skin with his-

His loud moans turned to heavy pants, not from lack of air that he doesn't need, but from the intensity of what he had just done. The white liquid flowed down his tip and fist, and a sense of freedom rushed over him. He wasn't bad for this, he was doing what anyone else would do. You were rubbing off on him after just one interaction, making him oh so perfectly imperfect.

He grabbed a tissue from the box that had been placed on the table beside his couch for show, and wiped himself off, tossing the soiled tissue into the trash. His eyes went to his phone, which he turned on with a soft click. He felt better about everything, about himself, about you. What was life without indulgence?

Hello, It's Edward Cullen from the book store. Would you like to get coffee together soon?

He smiled to himself after typing out and sending his message, his hand bringing the piece of paper to his nose one last time, craving your essence, not wanting to miss even a hint of what lingers.

#dark!edward cullen #yandere!edward cullen x reader #dark!edward cullen x reader #yandere!edward cullen #edward cullen x reader #dark!twilight x reader #yandere!twilight x reader #twilight x reader #alyssia writes

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majesty31 · 1 year

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𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝟸/?

𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 | 𝒎𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

𝒂/𝒏: 𝑯𝒆𝒚𝒚𝒚 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏’𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟐 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒇𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒐, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝒓𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝟐. 𝑬𝒏𝒋𝒐𝒚𝒚𝒚 <𝟑

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒕, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒐. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒎𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒔. 𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒇𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏’𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒎 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒏.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔/𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕: 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒔, 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕: 𝟑.𝟓𝒌

← 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 | 𝑵𝒆𝒙𝒕 →

As I laid in Jacob's bed I couldn't get him out of my head, I've known about the tribe's legends for my whole life, and just last year I found out they were real, but for some reason when it's my best friend who's the monster everything is different, its real, scary.

Billy was so nice about it, so sweet and caring, like he knew how hard it would be for me to take this kind of information. I told him how I found out about the Cullens, but I just never thought about the wolves part, only bringing it up to tease Jacob.

My mind slowly started to drift off, sleep finally beginning to take over. I felt someone swipe the hair away from my face, saying a quiet "Sorry," Before I drifted off into sleep.

My breathing quickened as I ran through the trees, my heart pounding in my ears as I looked behind me, nothing. Though I didn't stop running, not until my lungs begged and burned for air.

I plunged into the ground, my hands only barely stopping my face from hitting the dirt that was beneath me. I sat on my knees as I brought my now-burning hands toward my body, looking around with wide eyes.

My breath shook as I caught a glimpse of dark eyes through the trees, but unlike before they didn't disappear. I was frozen to my spot on the ground as the creature slowly made its way toward me, a cry left my lips at the slight of it.

Finally, as if stupidity hit me straight in the face I ran. One thing I knew about wildlife was to never run away if you ever came face to face with anything dangerous, but it was like I couldn't stop my legs from moving.

I heard the creature running behind causing me to pick up my speed but as I took a quick glance behind me I found that I was running from nothing. Only when I turned around did I see it standing right in front of me.

I jerked up in my bed, breathing heavily as I looked around with wide eyes. I let out a sigh of relief once I realized I was still in Jacob's bed, safe. I put a shaky hand to my head, wiping away the cold sweat before my eyes turned to the window.

The sun had already risen, but like all the days before it was raining. Fog covered the sky and ground, leading me to miss the way it looked when the days were clear.

"Shouldn't I get a say in this?"

"No. Jacob he is trying to help you-"

"How is he gonna help me?" Everyone stopped talking the moment I stepped into the room. Jacob was sitting at the table with Billy and an unfamiliar face that I seemed to recognize.

"Y/N I'm glad your up," Billy said, motioning me over to the table. I furrowed my brows but did what the man said and sat down next to Jacob who gave me a sad smile.

"What's going on?" I asked, looking around the table.

"My dad is trying to get me to join Sam's little cult," Jacob said angrily. "Which I'm not doing," I looked at the man sitting across from me, only then realizing this was Sam, the same one who I knew as a kid.

"Look Jacob we all know what you're going through and if you join we will be able to help you through these changes," Sam didn't even try to correct him, now only understanding Sam's little group wasn't a cult, it was a pack, a wolf pack.

"I don't think it's a cult Jacob," He turned to me unbelieving.

"Your siding with them? I thought you were my best friend-"

"I am your best friend. I also want what's best for you and I think your dad knows more about this than you do," He closed his mouth, stubbornly turning his head away from me. "Look Jake, I don't think you want to go through this on your own. I think you should let Sam help you, he knows more about this than anyone,"

"Listen to Y/N," Sam said, making Jacob glare at him.

"Jake," I turned his face toward me. "If your too stubborn to do this on your own at least do it for your dad and me," He stared at me for a little, jaw clenching.

"I hate you," I smiled knowing I got him. "Fine but only because you said that," I cheerfully looked back at Billy who gave me a sweet smile, thanking me with a nod.

"But you'll have to cut your hair," Jacob's head snapped toward Sam.

"What?"

Over the next few weeks, Jacob started becoming better with his changes, he got his hair cut, and a tattoo signifying him as a werewolf of the Quileute tribe.

He was getting closer with the others in the pack too, and made amends with Embry, who I finally got to see after months of Jacob not letting me near him.

But one thing I didn't like was the way Jacob kept pushing Bella away, he felt that now that he was a wolf he would end up hurting her, both physically and emotionally.

So I agreed to keep Bella away, altho we both knew I wouldn't be able to keep her away forever.

"Bella stop!" I yelled as I ran after her, slamming the front door behind me. "Look if you go to La Push you'll only make things worse-" But she was already in the truck and starting the engine. I cursed to myself before racing to the other side and getting in.

The rest of the drive was me trying to get her to turn the truck around but it was like she had blocked me out, not listening to a word that came out of my mouth. As we stopped in front of the house, she jumped out of the truck and went to knock on the front door.

The door opened reviling Billy who was sat on his wheelchair, after he saw it was Bella he looked back at me who had come to stand behind her. I gave him an apologetic look before he turned back to my twin.

"Bella?"

"I need to see him," She said, getting straight to the point.

"He's not in," Even from my point of view I could tell he was lying and Bella saw it too. She stayed quiet for a moment, debating whether to leave or not. But after a few seconds of thinking, she walked past him.

"Sorry I really have to see him,"

"Bella," He warned, turning his wheelchair around to try and stop her. I chased after her after Billy opened the door wider for me but she had already opened the door to Jacob's room. I stopped, sighing in relief when I saw that he was sleeping.

But all the relief left me when she stormed past me and out the back door. Confused I looked out the window only to see Sam and the little pact he made walking toward the house, looking for Jacob no doubt.

I raced after her, leaving the back door open as I tried to catch up to her. But she was already yelling at the group of boys.

"What did you do!" They all stopped walking as Bella got closer and shoved Sam. "What did you do to him?" The others started getting angry and tried to defend their leader.

"Easy," Sam said, putting his hand out to stop the others from moving.

"Bella," I warned, pulling her arm back but she ripped it out of my grasp, ignoring me completely.

"He didn't want this,"

"What did we do? What did he do? What did he tell you?" Another boy said, stepping up. He had a nice build just like the others, his hair had been cut short, and had the same tattoo on his arm as all the rest.

"Both of you calm down," Sam stepped in, pulling the boy away from Bella. But both Bella and the boy ignored him.

"Nothing! He tells me nothing because he's scared of you!" At this, the boys started laughing. My eyes went wide knowing for a fact this would set her off.

"Bella. Stop" I warned again, trying desperately to get her attention but my words flew right over her head. And before anyone could stop her she slapped the boy across the face.

I gasped as his smile was whipped clean off and soon started to breathe just like Jacob did before he turned. I grabbed her arm, pulling her back with me but she would barely move.

"Bella. Y/N, get back!" Sam yelled. At the look on the boys face, Bella let me pull her away. If I was being completely honest this boy was scaring the shit out of me. It's one story to see the person you've known for your whole life shift, but seeing a total stranger is not the same story.

"Paul calm down now!" Paul was it? But he was too far gone to calm down now and everyone except Bella knew that. I pulled my sister behind me when Paul shifted completely, tearing the pants he was wearing clean off.

Bella shook with fear as she peaked her head out from behind me. They were so much bigger close-up, never had I seen a wolf this size. But all the thoughts about how the creature looked flew out of my mind the second he started stalking closer, growling.

The dumbest thing anyone can do is run away from something that wants to attack you, this just drives them more with the need to catch their prey. And that of course was the exact thing Bella did. She ran.

I could hear Jacob yelling both our names as I slowly backed away from the wolf. I took in a deep breath before I saw Jacob land in front of me in his wolf form. This made me sprint over toward Bella who had fallen on the ground.

She only glanced at me before her eyes were back on the fight that was unfolding in front of us. Soon the two wolves were in the woods, leaving everyone to watch as they disappeared into the trees.

I was quiet most of the ride to Sam's fiance's house, my eyes flickering to Bella every so often, checking to see when she'd have a panic attack. But she sat normally, her head turned toward the window for the whole ride.

I was confused about the way she was taking this. I thought if anyone would freak out it would be her, but I guess I didn't know her as well as I thought I did.

The truck stopped making me look up at a small cabin, it gave me a sense of home with the fruit sitting on the porch and the lights that were on inside.

"Hey, I think we should go back and see if Jacobs okay," Bella said, opening her window to yell at the boys who had already started walking toward the cabin.

"I think Paul should sink his teeth in him. Serves him right," The other boy said as I stepped out of the vehicle. This was the first time I'd met anyone other than Embry and Sam in the pack, but all the boys seemed to be alike in a way.

"No way Jacob's a natural. You see him faze on the fly? I got 5 that says Paul doesn't touch him," Embry cut in, going straight to Jacob's defense. Both boys stopped short once they realized Bella was still seated in the truck. "Come on in Bella. We don't bite,"

"Speak for yourself," The other boy said, a smirk on his face as he headed up the stairs with me following close behind.

Right as I entered, the woman, Emily turned around. The shock I experienced when she looked at me wasn't shown on my face as I took in the scar that went down one side of her face. She was beautiful, her dark black hair was open and hanging on her shoulder as she smiled warmly at me.

"Y/N right?" She asked as I stepped closer. I nodded, a smile on my own face. "Jacob talks a lot about you. I swear it's like I've already met you," She laughed, bringing me into a hug which I gladly returned.

"I'm surprised my name even came up. Hope he said only good things and not the embarrassing stuff he usually says," She only laughed at that before pointing to Embry who had made his way toward the table.

"Oh don't worry, I think Embry over there said worse things then Jacob," I narrowed my eyes as I went over and hit Embry over the head making him wince and laugh at the same time.

"Idiot," I muttered as I sat next to him, taking the second muffin he had in his hands, and taking a bite. He only laughed, shaking his head.

"Who's this?" Emily's voice cut in, making us all turn to Bella, who was standing awkwardly at the door.

"Bella Swan, Y/N's twin. Who else," The boy across from me stated.

"So you're the vampire girl," At that I coked on the muffin I was trying to eat, turning to face my twin, eyes wide to match her own.

"You knew!" I shrieked, still slightly coughing. She looked stunned.

"How did you know!?"

"I figured it out after pale face saved you from the van," The other boy laughed at the nickname as Bella blinked, trying to understand how I found out before her.

"Why didn't you tell me you knew?!" I pushed my chair away from the table, looking at her with disbelief.

"Why didn't you tell me you were dating a whole vampire?!" I asked making her go quiet, trying to find the right words. "How could you even date one, they kill people to live," She shook her head.

"No the Cullens never killed anyone," I scoffed, how could she still defend them after what happened.

"And your defending them why-"

"Okay, guys. I think I struck a sensitive subject," Emily said, going in between the two of us. "Y/N let's just calm down okay. I'm sure Bella had a good reason to keep this from you like you kept it from her,"

"The only reason she kept it from me was to protect her blood-sucking boyfriend. I kept it from her to protect her," My voice lowered at the last part, stepping away from the two and trying to catch my breath.

Bella had gone quiet, her eyes turned to the floor as Emily put her hands on my shoulders, a sad smile on her face.

"No one is right or wrong in this situation and it doesn't matter anyway because Bella isn't with the Cullen boy anymore," She said, her eyes soft as if she knew where I was coming from, like she experienced something of the same thing. "Let's try and be civil to each other okay?"

I nodded, sitting back down next to Embry who rubbed my back. Emily smiled before she went back to the kitchen, her eyes going back to Bella as if trying to figure her out.

She came back with a plate full of muffins and a cup of cold water that she set down in front of me. The other boy whose name I still didn't know went over to reach for a muffin.

"Save some for your brothers," Emily said, grabbing his hand before he could take one. She smiled at the look on his face before she turned to Bella. "And ladies first,"

"Muffin?"

"Sure. Thanks," Bella said, giving her a small smile before reaching to take a muffin for herself.

"Leave it to Jake to find a way around Sam's gag order,"

"He didn't say anything to me,"

"That's a wolf thing. Alpha's orders get obeyed whether we want to or not," Embry but in, his mouth full of food. "Alright, check it out! We can hear each other's thoughts," Embry turned to me, pushing me slightly with a smirk on his face. A small smile gave way on my face at the happy look Embry gave me.

"Will you just shut up? These are trade secrets. Damn it! This chick runs with vampires," He pointed to Bella. "Her all though," He said turning to me. "Will fit in around here,"

"Shut up Jared. She doesn't run with vampires anymore," Embry cut in defending Bella.

"And I can't really run with vampires," Bella quietly said, making Emily laugh. The boy looked at Bella, annoyance in his eyes. "Because they are fast,"

"Yeah? Well, we're faster," He leaned in further as he said that. Trying to make a point. "Freaked out yet?" Bella was quiet for a second before shaking her head.

"You're not the first monsters, I've met," My eyebrows raised at her choice of words but it seemed unnoticed to the boys.

"Jake's right. You are good with the weird," Sam said making me slightly jump as he entered the house, he didn't give anyone else a second look before he headed straight for Emily. I smiled causing most of the bad mood inside of me to vanish as he started kissing her all over her face, making Emily giggle.

I took the cold water that was in front of me and drank it slowly as Jacob and Paul entered the room, both shoving each other with smiles on their faces. I didn't even want to ask how the two made up so fast. Must have been a wolf thing.

Jacob smiled at me before he motioned Bella outside, though my eyes left him as soon as Paul came to sit down across from me. He didn't even realize I was there as he took a muffin and bit into it. His eyes shifted toward Jared as he said something causing Paul to laugh before smacking him upside the head.

Though after a few minutes, Paul's head turned toward me, his eyes meeting mine. My breath hitched as I gazed into his eyes which slightly widened.

It felt as if all the air had been taken from the world leaving me with nothing. Altho I felt something pulling at my heart, making it beat faster, so fast I could hear it in my ears.

It was like I was drawn to him, like he was taking the air from me, making me go into a daze, or a dream. Only I never wanted it to end, I never wanted this feeling to go away, whatever the feeling even was.

His eyes wouldn't leave mine as he stared back at me intently. It felt so intense but at the same time so safe. My stomach was filling with butterflies as the seconds turned into minutes, still, neither of us broke eye contact.

My head started to feel dizzy, and all of a sudden I wanted the boy to hold me, hold me and never let go. It sounded crazy even in my head but I felt like I had the need to make him mine, to calm him. Heat raised to my cheeks as an unfelt feeling came alive in me.

Is this what the fairytales always talked about, love at first sight. Tho they never explained it like this, never explained the way this feeling burned in my veins, the way I wasn't able to catch my breath, if I was even breathing at all. I felt as if I needed to be in his arms, as close to him as possible.

Sweat formed on my head as my body temperature rose, it felt too hot in here. The air became thinner, my body was burning with desire, one that I knew he felt too. But it was all too much, I knew if I didn't break away I would run out of air.

I pushed my chair back, bringing everyone's attention to me as I made my way towards the door, practically running outside as I inhaled the air that just moments ago was taken from my body.

An overwhelming sadness engulfed me as my mind cleared, the urge to run back inside was so strong that I almost did it, but common sense beat the other part of my brain that told me to go back to Paul. I didn't even know him and here I was feeling all of these strange feelings, ones I didn't think should be real.

"Y/N?" I heard Emily calling me, making her way down the steps toward me. She had a knowing smile on her face as she knelt down in front of me. "Are you okay?" She swiped a piece of hair away from my face.

"What the hell happened?" I asked, sensing that she knew what I just experienced in there with Paul. She bit her lip, taking my hands and pulling me up to my feet.

"How about you talk to Paul about it. He's the only one who knows,"

………

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therealvinelle · 2 months

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I think the real question is not if Alice could have saved the Titanic, but if she would even bother trying.

Let's be completely honest, the answer is no. If she was on the Titanic, she wouldn't be in any real danger. The second she knows the ship is FUBR, she's jumping overboard and walking back to the mainland.

And, unless her Gift tells her to, I doubt she's gonna stick around to help out some random, unlucky humans. Alice is looking after Alice, so what is she gonna get out of playing hero? Besides, even if she did, word from the survivors would probably get out about a superhuman woman immune to the freezing water saving them while the Titanic sank. All that would get Alice is the Volturi showing up at her doorstep. No thank you.

For the rest of the world, the Titanic is an unimaginable tragedy. For Alice, it was a crappy night where she had to walk home under the ocean, ruining her fancy dress, because the stupid humans somehow sank the "unsinkable" ship.

I'm actually going to come out in Alice's defense here. The trouble with her is that she wants to care. She wants her life to have meaning, to have an identity, and so she chooses for herself the life she lives in canon.

There is no point to being a Cullen, to having a family and hobbies, interests, to following the diet, if it's not to make Alice something more human than a vessel for visions. Does that mean she's going to be able to connect with humans, or even other vampires, no, if it did she would be concerned by issues like "If Bella becomes a vampire, she is very likely to kill people and have to live with it" (she's not at all). She wants to, but from what I can tell she can't truly make up for what she lost when she forgot having ever been anything but what she is now.

Not caring isn't the same as not wanting to care, however. Alice has her "It helps if you think of them as people!" litany, she's delighted to interact with humans, and most importantly she chooses to live on the animal diet. I don't think Carlisle would kick her out if she didn't, she'd have a rough time of it with Edward and Rosalie but Jasper needs to be on the animal diet and for his sake Alice would be allowed to stay as well. Alternatively, she could just slip whenever she pleased, but this doesn't seem to be the case.

Faced with 1500 people dying and assuming Alice could prevent it, she wouldn't be able to continue believing she's Alice Cullen or that any of her attempts to reclaim some humanity have meant anything if she didn't, just as it would be a grim thing to witness if she couldn't prevent it.

Empathy is a difficult thing and she's not without it, just... stunted by her inability to connect with humans.

#alice cullen #twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanons

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v-arbellanaris · 1 year

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PLEASE share about the Cullen Cult Arc

sighs. this is my second time writing this post ;~; literally why does the autosave option exist if tumblr doesnt actually bother to autosave anything, i dont fucking get it.

this is going to be much briefer than the original post i wrote because im still REELING over how tumblr just ate the entire fucking post. its fucking gone. and idk if i have the energy or mental capacity rn to rewrite the whole thing. basically, this arc - which is the arc i developed for him in vee verse - is the arc i think cullen should've had in dai.

firstly, i'm not retconning anything he said or did in dao or da2. this is because those things serve a narrative purpose. cullen is a good templar - that's the entire crux of the problem. he exists in these two games as a narrative tool; he represents the views of the chantry. as such, anything you do with his character arc cannot be divorced from the reality of the mage/templar conflicts, and the glaring issues of the chantry and must, actually, address and involve those things, because cullen is a product of his surroundings. i'm not saying this to minimise or give him excuses for anything he's said or done, but that is made true for him by his very positioning in the narrative as being the chantry's voice. for most of my playthroughs, which lean pro-mage, cullen is an antagonistic force - he has to say and do horrific things, and it would be stupid for me to retcon the horrible things he did.

secondly, my main issue comes from his writing in dai - probably to no one's surprise. i am not unopposed to having a redemption arc for him in dai - this is villain-fucking the blog, sorry not sorry - but the problem is that he does not have one. to have a redemption arc, the following two things needs to happen:

the realisation/acknowledgement/knowledge/whatever that he caused harm to people with his actions/inactions

addressing the False Belief that he has embraced that has previously justified his harmful actions/inactions in order to accept the Truth (this is just basic character narrative construction).

and dai fails to do both of these because the writing team in inquisition is physically incapable of admitting the chantry is wrong and has done wrong and will continue to do wrong. they are physically incapable of looking at fucked up power dynamics and clear cases of oppression and not going "but what if the oppressed people. wanted to be oppressed. NEEDED to be oppressed, even."

which leaves his character arc - whether you want to consider it redemptive or not - confusing. he's trying to shake a lyrium addiction? sure, okay. but why is he addicted to lyrium? why is being addicted to regular ol' lyrium bad? it's not blue lyrium that killed meredith, it's not blue lyrium that corypheus and samson are using.

you get confusing things like cullen's entire character arc being centered around lyrium addiction... but no one seems to give a shit if the inquisitor takes lyrium and becomes a templar, except cullen. you get confusing things like cullen's entire character arc being centered around recovering from lyrium addiction and the templar route in dai and you get to the scene where all the templars get their lyrium draughts. the ceremony and chanting and celebration around getting the lyrium, when barris takes his draught, which is frankly revolting. but it highlights the inconsistency - lyrium, this scene tells us, is good. because the templars are good, and they use it for good. yet cullen's entire arc is about overcoming his lyrium addiction, but don't worry!!!! templars are still good and lyrium is still good. its fucking INCOHERENT!!!!!!

he is addicted to lyrium because that is how the chantry maintains absolute control over its templars. it is a mind-altering substance that causes paranoia, which the chantry specifically takes advantage of and feeds with their all mages are inherently dangerous rhetoric, which is a false rhetoric, as i've pointed out before. but instead of acknowledging any of that, dai's writing goes "lyrium is Bad because [mumble mumble] and its So Important that he doesn't take it so that [mumble mumble]".

because the story is physically incapable of uttering anything even vaguely critical of the chantry.

so, this covers my main issue with his writing in dai. i would ideally try to fix it - without retconning anything he did in dao or in da2. this is what the cullen cult recovery arc is referring to.

i'm not going to go into it in too much detail but the templar order - inclusive of the seekers - fits a lot of the parameters of a cult. specifically, the BITE model, but also this checklist, and a whole bunch of other parameters i found when researching into cults for this specific reason. (which. makes sense. seeing how the orlesian chantry is was also technically a religious cult that becomes the main religion of the lands by actively slaughtering all the other sects)

but what's particularly interesting about it specifically is that, in-world, no one else seems to think it's a cult. for all of cullen's views, he is not the extreme end in da2 - alrik is. meredith is. what's particularly disturbing to me about cullen's point of view is that because he's a product of his environment, because he's a narrative tool representing the chantry's views, cullen's opinions and actions are actually a normality test. people in thedas don't find cullen's views repulsive because most average joes in thedas agree with him. i think it's easy to forget cullen isn't the outlier in-universe - we are.

but, canonically speaking, this is what happens: cullen, like most good antagonists getting a redemption set up, misses his chance to Embrace Change at the end of da2. he sides with meredith too late for it to matter or make a difference - mages (who you learn on the templar route, he's not exactly eager to kill) who he's supposed to protect are already dead. but what happens in kirkwall shakes him to his core and he looks to leave the order entirely - a good step.

the problem is that he leaves the order to join the inquisition. the inquisition, which is headed by the left and right hands of the divine. the right hand of the divine is a seeker herself. the inquisition is spearheaded and justified by the divine, who he has been trained for most his adult life to be subservient to. the divine who formed the inquisition to replace the templar order and hired him to essentially train and recreate the order.

worse, still. no one thinks he did anything wrong. kinloch was not his fault, it was the fault of greagoir and the older templars who were simply not vigilant enough, meredith told him. how he acted to keep order in the circle and the city after the viscount was executed is admirable, cassandra tells him. he was only following orders, leliana admits grudgingly, he stood up for what was right when meredith went too far. no one thinks he did anything wrong, because he is a good templar. because all the atrocities he committed were not committed against people - they were committed against mages, who are not people, not like you and me.

cullen hops from one cult to the next. the inquisition is the exact same thing he's always done and known, just repackaged - quite literally, considering the inquisition's symbol. but canonically, he thinks it's something different. he wants it to be different.

it's not, though.

so, the thought process behind my thoughts for him boils down to this: how does he get the language to describe exactly why this is wrong? how does he get the language to describe why it matters, why it's important, that he hurt real people? how does he get past the Lie that he believes - that he has to be a good templar, to stop anything like kinloch from happening again, since kinloch happened because they weren't vigilant enough, because they were too sympathetic to mages?

his arc shouldn't have just been about overcoming lyrium addiction. his arc should have been a story about recovering from being part of a hate group, a story about recovering from part of a cult.

there's several ways to go about it, i think. and if you want to specifically know how i'm going to do it, you guys should encourage me to write vee verse 😌

#asks #vee rewrites da #admittedly i cheated a bit but i gotta leave SOMETHING for the fic!!!!#cullen critical #just in case #bioware critical #dai critical

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