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#cucumber rants
jade-len · 3 months
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i adore how mxtx sorta flipped the idea on the whole top/bottom thing with svsss, and just BL relationships in general.
making bingqiu very open to switching, not making the "bottom" super feminine and actually leaning more to the handsome side compared to the "top", how luo binghe is manipulative sensitive and cries easily, etc. one of the main themes in svsss is literally about sexuality (and possibly even about gender roles).
as a queer asian man myself, i absolutely despise the "yaoi archetype" and it was one of the reasons why i avoided consuming BL media. hell, years ago when i first saw heavens official blessing, i mentally groaned and went, "ugh, let me guess, the bottom is super feminine and innocent, while the top is masculine and experienced." of course, that's not the case now, but it's disappointing how that thought was there purely because of the god awful way fetish-y media portrays homosexual people and couples. because, believe it or not, we are not assigned male/female typical gender roles just because one likes to top/bottom (and even then, it's not even like that! some people have preferences, sure, but it's not so strictly "i'm top/bottom")
so, while i absolutely LOVE the english novel designs (especially luo binghe's cute curly hair, gongyi xiao, etc, and personally believe a lot of the takes from the western artist on the designs are an improvement), i am greatly saddened by people subconsciously assigning shen qingqiu as someone more delicate and feminine and luo binghe as someone super masculine and muscly. like, if you're going to have luo binghe depicted as the western design (i believe this stems from binghe being applied to more western ideals for men, and, admittedly, i actually really love his design), at least don't make shen qingqiu feminine and delicate? don't have his appearance play into the stupid yaoi thing?
i get that people have different takes on svsss, especially how the western version depicts it. but, people just... seem to very over exaggerate the top/bottom roles when it comes to bingqiu (again, these two are, canonically, VERY open to switching).
it's weird, it's uncomfortable, and it comes across as, "so, who wears the pants in the relationship?"
so, can we please have more canonically handsome shen qingqiu? canonically beautiful and pretty boy luo binghe (they literallly state that binghe looks EXACTLY like his mom, su xiyan! while a more handsome woman, is still very beautiful!! plus it is stated several times that binghe is slim, and that shang qinghua made him that way!) or at the very least, a BL couple who actually look like normal people (ok thats a little hard considering binghe is literally supposed to be perfect) and not just a stupid fetishized version of themselves.
and no, i'm not saying that queer men shouldn't be feminine or men who are feminine shouldn't be in a relationship with guys who are masculine, etc.
TLDR: please stop twinkifying shen qingqiu and going against what mxtx defied for us queer men (the stupid yaoi roles). and for the love of whoever you believe in, do NOT think that i hate the english design or people's personal interpretation of characters, i just hate the subconscious assigning of gender roles to bingqiu and how media portrays and fetishizes LGBTQ+ relationships in general.
edit: also i love teardrew's (check them out on twitter!) interpretation of shang qinghua. while i do really like the the eng novel design's tiny scared hamster vibes, teardrew's version just radiates "up to no good, paranoid but suspicious looking bitch" rat man and i love it so so so much. i'm not gonna repost their art bc i don't know how they feel about that but perhaps you can search up "svsss designs" on here, you'll see it pop up eventually lol.
edit 2 (1/16): i just saw someone reblog a post (that im pretty sure was referring to this one because, well, if you saw it i think it'd be a little clear kahxj) that was about how bingqiu switching and completely eschewing traditional top/bottom dynamics was a fandom idea or smth? so now i'm wondering, since i swear i remember that they were open to switching, but it's just that sqq preferred to bottom and/or was just a little too lazy to top. plus, sqq is a pretty unreliable narrator who says he doesn't want something one moment and then he does. how could he say no to bingbing? esp if he seems to wanna try bottoming too. perhaps i'm mixing things up though, idk? so if anyone can find that passage that says he only and strictly wants to bottom or whatever please show me! but i think the point of this post still stands haha (i wanted to ask about it, actually, but when i clicked on the og post's user it turned out that they blocked me ? so that was a little surprising oops. hey if ur somehow reading this, im... sorry for making you want to block me bc of this post? akdhxjj)
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stealingyourbones · 2 months
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Spent so much time making sushi for dinner and was so excited to have a funky little sushi roll and eat it like a burrito but then my nori ripped apart mid roll and I had to eat it as a salad and apparently my brain doesn’t like the texture of imitation crab + seaweed and rice rn :(
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ciphercalamitiez · 6 months
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im sorry
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torchstelechos · 1 year
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God, I just want a fanfic about the absolute wild internet fandom and discourse of PIDW. Just full stop make it a chat/discord sever fic with both SQQ and SQH in it but neither know and they have another meltdown relationship on this server. Enough so that the fans make jokes that they’re just alts of SQQ and SQH (which is true but no one actually believes this). Make the final chapter present day them figuring it out and wailing on each other in anger. I need this more than I need air.
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smallerthanthiswishes · 3 months
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THE BUST CUCUMBER SALAD YOUVE EVER HAD - 35 cal
100g Cucumber (preferably diced) - 15 cal
20g light sour cream - 20 cal
10ish g rice or wine vinegar- 0 cal
dill weed, garlic powder, salt, pepper to taste - 0 cal
mix that shit up in a bowl. literally the yummiest shit I've ever eaten and it's perfect for killing salty cravings
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henreyettah · 1 year
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I NEED TO SPEAK MY TRUTH OK LISTEN UP.
(let me preface this by saying that I myself am an american, so its fine if I say things like this. I dont live in the states).
The WORST thing ever for me is when US-Americans “discover” “new” things. Things that have been around for decades, if not centuries, in other parts of the world. Like that flavored water thing y'all got going rn. First of all, that is not water anymore. Secondly, it isn't juice either because theres no fucking fruit in there. Third, it’s not a substitute for water!! I see y'all chugging it like crazy but theres so much stuff in there!! all those syrups!! what the hell!!
Babygirl. Babes. You are drinking saft. Water with flavoring syrup. is just STRAIGHT UP SAFT. god this is like when they “discovered” reusable dishcloths. or reusing plastic bottles. it drives me INSANE. not to mention when y'all found out about hot glue and started using it for everything (listen it is useful but I’ve seen some of y'all make shelves out if it. ITS NOT GONNA CARRY WEIGHT. ITS GOING TO BEND AND SAG).
It’s fine that y'all are drinking saft. Great even, I’m happy y'all are trying new things! We drink it here too. It’s nice, it tastes good, theres different flavors, you can choose how flavored you want it to be by adding more of the goop. But, and I cannot believe this needs to be said, its not interchangeable with water. YOU NEED TO DRINK ACTUAL WATER 
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shen-liqin · 1 year
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Random idea:
So like this is a weirdass crossover idea but I got bored and though of Shen Yuan transmigrating into Harry Potter instead of Shen Qingqiu and having a romance with Draco Malfoy-
Only reason why I thought of this was because I remembered Shen Yuan mentioning the Harry Potter series during his rant about why they were using carriages instead of swords for transportation.
And because aside from bingqiu and moshang, I’ve also been focusing on drarry for a bit at the moment.
One thing led to another and with the assistance of chatgpt and weird prompts that appeared in my head, I have about 8000 or 10000 words worth of self-indulgent Shen Yuan x Draco Malfoy content.
Cant think of a ship name for them yet but I’ve fallen in love with it lol. Someone help me.
Bonus Content:
At present, The System isn’t included in this self-indulgent AU of mine so Shen Yuan doesn’t have any OOC restrictions or missions to complete. Leaning towards doing the same of Shang Qinghua but that’s subject to change.
Shen Yuan transmigrates into an 11 year old Harry Potter and ends up ranting in Mandarin for 30 minutes while in the cupboard under the stairs.
Shen Yuan as Harry Potter ends up in either Ravenclaw or Slytherin (leaning towards Slytherin for plot reasons at the moment)
Shen Yuan teaches Draco how to speak Mandarin over the course of their years at Hogwarts.
Shang Qinghua also ends up in here but right now I’m torn on who he’s gunna end up in (leaning towards Seamus Finnigan who ends up in Slytherin in this AU).
Shen Yuan as Harry Potter in this AU is someone that everyone finds kind if weird but fun to be around. His dorm mates get used to him suddenly cursing out shitty romance novels he somehow finds (he has a dealer in Hogsmeade lol). This happens either in English, Mandarin, or both.
This AU is a crackfic (not sure if I wanna make it crack taken seriously or not not gunna lie).
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istjury · 8 months
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me irl rn
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theokusgallery · 6 months
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7 (art forms u dont do but appreciate)
18 (estimate art supplies you've broken)
19 (favourite inanimate objects to draw)
30 (underrated art piece)
7-
Mmhh... That one's hard because there's not a lot of art forms I haven't at least tried to touch to be honest? I love to see any sort of 3D craft though, like... I follow a bunch of people who make clay figures, I find it fascinating. I've tried and made a bunch before but I'm not very good at it... I should try again actually, I still have a WIP in the living room from months ago,,
18-
Oboy. Most of what I do is digital art, so there's not much to break — if you count all the pens I've broken and screens I've cracked and the gloves I've lost I'd say about a dozen things altogether... But I've definitely broken an ink pen tip before, and probably some clay tools, and oh, fimo dough stuff as well, I've broken so many fimo dough tools not knowing if they were heat resistant or not... I'm not going to count erasers impulsively broken in half but if you add pencils and watercolor brushes and markers... Uhh, 60 things maybe? I am not very good at keeping things in good shape. Or keeping them at all. I lose stuff a lot.
19-
That one's hard. I mostly do portraits. The second other thing I draw most is flowers but I don't really like to draw them. ...Oh, big clothes and anything that has folds ! I love drawing folds. Like on scarves or big sweaters or hoodies. Fabric is nice. I just wish I thought about using more texture but I constantly just forget that's an option.
30-
Huh... Let me look.
I don't really have a basis of how many notes I think a post will have? This blog is called theoku's gallery because I store my art in it like a phone gallery. I'm displaying it here, but people don't have to like it, if that makes sense. But if I had to pick, maybe that one?
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Sunny looks like such an angry little shit in this drawing, I love it. It has a pretty average amount of notes but I remember being so happy with the final result. The right hand looks great
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warpolomewdarkmatter · 9 months
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i think that if Lightyear (2022) didn't have the meat-bread-meat sandwich scene i would like the movie way more. the sandwitch gag was just so flabbergasting and honestly gross (so unhygienic!!!) that it yanked me out of the "being immersed in a story with my disbelief suspended" into "Who In Their Right Mind Wrote This Into The Movie Script. Am I, The Viewer, Supposed To Think This Is Funny?" soooo fast (and it was already losing me with all the new watery characters and the lackluster zurg plotline). there's a cool scifi story happening before & after that scene and Those events are always shown as something natural, i guess (within the setting they make total sense, i mean), and i always trust the main character to know what to do and Belong in the story. but the sandwiches were weird and alien even to him and even moreso weird and alien to me by extension... and that feeling of weirdness contributed to nothing re: mood of the moment/overarching plot/character development and it wasnt even FUNNY. if the creators wanted to include the sandwich so bad they needed to have zurg eat it to show what a deranged freak he is.
#i know this is kind of insane nitpicking but i do sincerely believe this. for me that scene is one of the most memorable parts of the movie#origpost#lightyear#oh my god and the cucumbers... the WATERY VEGETABLE SLIDES FROM THE FATTY MEAT!!! THATS OBVIOUS AND DISGUSTING!!#YOU HAVE TO CUSHION IT WITH SOMETHING DRY/TEXTURED LIKE BREAD OR LETTUCE!!! OR SLICE THEM INTO STRIPS NOT CIRCLES!!!#NOT TO MENTION THAT THE BREAD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CUCUMBER SITUATION WILL BE SO SOPPING WET.#AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY USED ANY SAUCE OR SPREAD BECAUSE IF SO THE BREAD WILL GET EVEN MORE MOIST???#unless the bread is covered on both sides with a fat-based spread eg butter which would prevent it from absorbing water. but who knows.#(echoing mumbling) or you could use cream cheese instead of butter... w/ some spices mixed in... god i wish theyd add some cheese on there.#um in conclusion. love to have characters take a break and enjoy some food that adds some flavor (ha!) to the setting.#like the grub in emperors new groove! or wreck it ralps pacman cherry! or wallace and gromits moon cracker!!#i just think the ly sandwiches underdelivered and the characters didn't even finish them (i mean buzz takes it [hands dirty] and#sets it on the table AND PICKS IT UP [HANDS DIRTY] AND ***TAKES A BITE***???? and LEAVES IT??? which is fucking insane????!?!?!?!)#um. sorry for ranting and nitpicking again. i just have Opinions on food. in scifi. i guess. (suddenly the blogger is weirdly embarrassed.)#the other food items in the vending machine were PICKLES btw. maybe the colony just got really good at growing cucumbers and nothing else..
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boywonderasf · 4 months
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OKOK HEREA WE GO
before i begin Insane TED-Talk of The Day, im gonna preface that i love this take so much, but my brain does things more than one way. but both is v good!!!
anyways mb bout the rant and dont come for me if anything is incorrect or wtv. erm also i mostly focus on the main 4 batboys so pls dont be upset i didn't mention the other kids💀
ANYWAYS as the post said:
"Bruce Wayne is a dad in many different ways and for many different reasons, but chief among them is his ability to know that one of his kids is sick just by looking at them or hearing them breathe.
He can diagnose a fever with just the back of his (gloved!) hand on their forehead. He knows when they’re about to be dizzy before it even happens. He is A Dad."
OKAY NOW BUT WAIT WHAT IF HE ISNT THO LIKE MAYBE WHEN THEYRE YOUNGER BUT AROUND THEIR TEEN YEARS? ESPECIALLY DICK, WHO TURNED THIS INTO LITERALLY HIDING ILLNESS JUST SO HE COULD STILL WORK FOR BRUCE AND "NOT DISAPPOINT HIM" ??
DICK, WHO WORKS HIS ASS OFF 24/7 AND IS ALWAYS ON EVERYONE ELSES ASS SO THEY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES ??
CONSISTENTLY DICK HAS TRIED TO GET AWAY FROM BRUCE'S TEACHINGS AND (even though Bruce probably didnt mean for it to be unknown,) ALWAYS MAKE IT KNOWN THAT ITS OKAY TO TAKE BREAKS AND CARE FOR YOURSELF
RAUGHHH AND ON TOP OF THAT, HIS EFFORTS ARE JUST SLIGHTLY LESS THAN USELESS (slowly getting better, but still) BECAUSE HIS SIBLINGS WERE ALL STILL WITH BRUCE AND SO IT GOT INSTILLED INTO THEM TO HIDE ILLNESS AS WELL IM GOING INSANE
JASON NEVER GOES TO BRUCE FOR ANYTHING AND ALMOST NEVER GOES TO ANYBODY ELSE OR ASKS FOR HELP (for many reasons, but still)
SAME WITH FUCKIN TIMBO! KID DOESNT HAVE A SHRED OF KNOWLEDGE FOR SELF CARE IN HIS BODY
Damian was already just like that, but hes also Dick's chance to help Dami unlearn all of those behaviors the others (including himself still bc hes a giant hypocrite) couldnt unlearn. Damian is still young enough to unlearn them quicker than the others can
and listen, this may all be stemming from me wanting the ultimate hurt/comfort with this shit, Bruce not noticing one of the (18+) kids is sick and all the other siblings jump to help care for and defend that one ill person.
cause its nice. you get the hurt from Bruce being oblivious and get to use the line "worlds greatest detective my ass".
and then you get the comfort of family caring for each other/significant other caring for sad and sick batkid whos upset that Bruce didn't notice.
yeah shut up ive read a fic like this before, and yeah it was fucking fantastic actually, but still this is true regardless!!!
anywasy, again please do not come for me if this all sounds dumb as fuck and is completely incorrect for some reason, im superstoned and autistic and this is what my brain decided to fuck around with tonight.
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silver-spider-art · 1 year
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I’m trying really hard not to be Peerless Cucumber so I’m ranting here rather than in the comments of the fic. But sometimes I feel like I’m the only person who hates SY being a overly kind suicidally self sacrificing idiot. Like everyone forgets he only nearly killed himself when it was faking his death or because he feared fates worse than death. That his obsession with LBH’s happiness above all was a sign of a deeply mentally disturbed man and not relationship goals. Like you can write unhealthy BingQiu. Knock yourself out, but please, for the love of god, don’t treat that behavior like its a happy ending or healthy. What the narration treats as good vs what the characters treat as good matter. It just annoys me so much. Part of what I like about SY is how much of a two faced mess of a hypocrite he is. He’s cruelly kind. Not some precious disney princess with only a sassy mouth. He had no regard for himself, living vicariously through his fav character, like many a chronically online youth. Its messed up and messy. A good ending for him is LQG and learning how to be a proper teach and take care of himself. That doesn’t mean I don’t like BingQiu, it can be so fun, but the canon end for them is messy and so many fan fics just make it worse. T-T I take comfort in the few who’ve done deep dives on SY vs SJ and where they are similar and different. Cuz they aren’t polar opposites.
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piosplayhouse · 2 years
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I JUST SAW UR POSTS ABT CQL AND OH MY GOD YEAH ITS. THE WORST my sibling and I just finished it a couple days ago but after they'd finished reading the novel we were mostly making fun of the show as we watched LOL-- one thing I will say is that I like most of their casting choices bcus yibo gets all the little wangji microexpressions dead-on
It's like !! Idk I know it's a lot of people's first introductions to the series, and I do think it's good on its own, but I hate when people analyze it like an improved extension on mdzs. It's not! More than anything it's like. Mdzs-inspired content honestly. Idk maybe discourse has made me too bitter, but I've seen far too many takes that cql makes mdzs better in some way by adding "ace representation" (I'm referring NOT to ace people who see themselves in cql wx! You guys are great and I'm happy for you!! but to the people who say stuff like so glad they got rid of the icky gay sex and PDA, if your ideal ace representation is quite literally government-censored gay content, please reevaluate) or feminism or something. It's like, idk, if you see it that way then good for you, but I can't help but be a bit cynical that a monopolistic company rife with government censorship would have more authentic intentions than a vulnerable young fem indie author who probably barely makes profit off of her original work. It's the scum villain main in me I guess.
Though the casting is so good!! I'm always surprised when I remember that yibo wasn't an established actor before, he gets all of lwj's little details so perfect. Xiao Zhan too is also incredible. You can tell the cast had a lot of love for the characters, and I'll never fault them for that!
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momsspaghett · 8 months
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Larry the cucumber is the best superhero. Change my mind.
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ace-with--a-mace · 9 months
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i hate when im seeing snail content and people are like "give it salt pour salt on it i wanna see it in salt" what if i shot your fuckin dog in the head
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macskasbacsi · 1 year
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i thought looking for my first apt alone would be fun but i’m just,, so stressed why is everything so expensive
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