#csa confessions

[syscourse-confessions]

Syscourse replies encouraged... i cant type the emoji LOL

Some people say that non-traumagenic plurals are hurting traumagenic people. Naming names is bad. You've seen people say that, though, obviously. If you are invested in syscourse to any degree, you've probably seen people say that doctors have denied them diagnoses or treatment because DID and OSDD have become "trendy" and they think it's too common, so they won't diagnose anyone with it.

Listen to me closely. For context, I tried to get diagnosed with DID since I was 11 years old. Symptoms start showing up before that, it's perfectly reasonable for me to be self-aware since that diagnosis would've been the only proof I have that I was ever traumatised (other than the proof in my memories obviously). I tried getting diagnosed LONG before TikTok OR Musically existed, AND ALSO BEFORE VINE DIED, and let's be honest, TikTok is where those doctors found out about them. (I say "doctors" because both therapists and psychiatrists can technically diagnose you, even if it's usually more commonly done by therapists who specialise in trauma.)

They will find ANY reason not to diagnose you. My abusers were awful in front of the doctors. I had memories of trauma. I was told once that since I didn't know what the word dissociation meant (since I was 12 and my psychiatrist called it MPD for some reason) that I didn't dissociate. Yep! You don't have the language, so your problem doesn't exist! That's how far doctors are willing to go thanks to the stigma ALREADY EXISTING around plurality and systemhood. I had a therapist who asked me if I had homocidal urges in response to me saying I suspect that I have DID. I had a therapist call them characters and say she wouldn't diagnose me because I had nonhuman alters. I had a therapist (I've gone through a lot of them as you can see) tell me that since I can't remember specific details about my trauma (I was molested frequently as a toddler) then it didn't happen and therefore I don't have it. I was told I don't have it because the alters have different accents!! Some alters have southern accents (I grew up in Florida but then moved to Cali) and others have northern ones, one even has a new york-ish accent that i don't know the technical name of, and they were like. this very common thing you have is the reason i don't think you have it :) awful

THEY WILL REFUSE TO DIAGNOSE YOU FOR ANY REASON. NON-TRAUMAGENIC SYSTEMS ARE NOT TO BLAME.THE SYSTEM OF S O C I E T Y IS

(haha like my pun?)

thank u for reading. sorry for yelling at the end there

also it's worth mentioning that earlier this year I did get diagnosed, finally. I figured out that I need to ask our insurance provider for specifically therapists who are trauma specialists, and then the one I found was like "im not qualified enough for this woops" and referred me to an even better trauma specialist who specifically knew about dissociative disorders. so yeah try that i guess LOL. I have every symptom, it turns out. I'm a textbook case. Doctors just suck.

📬- Syscourse replies encouraged

#syscourse #syscourse confessions #abuse tw #csa tw

[hitthecieling]

i love reciprocal sebaciel as much as the next person but i also have such a thing for an unrequited Ciel crush

in which Sebastian is still overly attached to him for what a demon should be, but genuinely doesn’t have many sexual or romantic inclinations toward humans (or maybe at all, depending on how you want to imagine the different dynamics in hell)

Ciel becoming increasingly infatuated with Sebastian as he grows up and faces all of the intense, confusing hormones that come with puberty

finding Sebastian’s human form so breathtakingly beautiful, and then finding the glimpses of his demon form even more enticing even though he can never look at him in full

being so ashamed to feel this way about the creature who will inevitably be his destruction

the shame that comes from Sebastian looking like an adult man, the same kind of people who hurt him the worst, and wondering if that meant he liked it before

still not being able to trust anyone as much as Sebastian, and feeling like a fool to trust him so much even beyond the control he has giving orders

beginning to romanticize and crave the way Sebastian is going to hurt him because at least it means he’ll have his full, intimate attention

knowing that he can manipulate various people by having Sebastian sleep with them but feeling so utterly jealous and disgusted at the thought

Sebastian being relatively ignorant of the extent of Ciel's feelings, but not so much to not tease and flirt with Ciel in what he assumes is rather harmless but cruel fun

despising anyone who ever has been or will be Sebastian’s master

getting so frustrated by his feelings that he constantly pushes Sebastian away, only to hurt himself more

in rare happy moments, forgetting what their dynamic really is (a contract) even though they both do care for each other more than that

being plagued by dreams that give him everything he wants, but never letting himself indulge in the fantasy until somehow they hurt worse than the nightmares

one day realizing that Sebastian is completely willing to do sexual favours for him like he has for past masters, but it being so bittersweet when he’s never actually as desperate as Ciel is (even if he secretly likes it more than he did with any masters he wasn’t attached to)

sleeping with Sebastian anyway and finding more pleasure in it than he ever could have imagined

feeling so overwhelmed because Sebastian truly gives him anything he wants if he asks, but he never knows if anything is authentic

despite the years of pain, feeling so grateful in the end to have been protected and consumed by the one he loves and cherishes most

#sebaciel #tw canon CSA mention #a lot of this is also my flavour for the mutual pining stage but the angst 🤏🤏 of it being forever one-sided #dont even get me started on one day ciel trying to confess

[wc-confessions]

I hate that it's normalized in the WC fandom to debate on which character is more abusive or who was groomed the worse. As an abuse victim and a CSA survivor, it's disgusting and those who participate should be ashamed. I wish people would take these situations more seriously and at least try to hold the Erins accountable for including these things in a children's series.

#confession #text #anonymous #warriors #warrior cats #warriorcats #wc #csa mention #abuse mention

[dyke-a-saur]

I think republicans really do forget we can fucking SEE them. You are not anonymous, you are no unknown, you are not private.

#twenty-eight of you assholes voted no on the CSA Investigations bill #All 28 of y’all who were so concerned about ‘‘groomers’’ this whole fucking year #now look at y’all #hall of shame #their accusations are confessions #og post #donkeys and elephants

[syscourse-confessions]

Rant here from an almost 40 year old system.

Little in adult bodies can consent to anything the adult body can consent to. They do not HAVE to consent if they are not mature enough to do so, but looks alone are not enough to bar your little from ever doing adult things. Cooking, cleaning, watching grown up media and yes, even sex. If they are mentally mature enough to consent, they can. Legal and physically your system is an adult. Your alter may appear small and yet be as mentally mature as an adult presenting alter. They are personalities, not actual children. Stop shaming people who allow their Littles to be as free as they need to be. It's literally ableist into say it's not okay seeing as most of us faced sexual trauma AS A CHILD and healing from that sometimes looks different for different people.

Don't judge because you're too young to have ever been in that possition.

DISCLAIMER: Posts may or may not reflect accurate information. More info here: https://www.tumblr.com/syscourse-confessions/728819621058232320/disclaimer-treat-posts-here-like-you-would-any

#syscourse #syscourse confessions #csa tw

[introject-confessions]

i feel a bit bad for hating the creator of my source but god i hate it when the creator of ur source keeps sexualising their characters who are minors oh my god

.

#introject confessions #fictive #source issue #creator issue #csa tw #ask to tag #mod p

[jenniferjuanconfessions]

Confession 1190

Jennifer coming out against the return of nsfw tumblr by talking about being g*****d when it was nsfw made me proud of her but so sad that it happened.

#jennifer juan #confessions #tumblr #social media #cw csa