#crying about narnia for the rest of my life i guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solarune · 4 years

Text

flowers in your hair

part of @neo-cult-ure‘s colours collab! | masterlist + prologue

pairing: lee taeyong x fem!reader (feat. a nosy lee donghyuck, childhood best friend quian kun, and college best friend/co-worker johnny seo)

genre: fluff, soulmate au, florist au, coffee shop au, idiots (literally) to lovers

warnings: taeyong being too cute to be real, florist!taeyong, coffee shop owner!reader, donghyuck is annoying, reader has a nightmare, switches to taeyong’s pov for one part

word count: 10,577

summary: what you know about your soulmate taeyong in the 6 years that you’ve known him: he has 6 tattoos but is already planning on getting 4 more, he loves his dog ruby very much, he has only ever shared his banana bread recipe with one person (you), his mom makes the best kimchi jjigae in the entire world, his favorite color is pink, and he is the man of your dreams. literally.

what you don’t know about taeyong: what he looks like.

what you know about the owner of the new flower shop across the street: he has light brown hair, he’s a caffeine addict (if his cousin donghyuck picking up coffee 5 days a week says anything about it), and he is your enemy by association (according to kun).

what you don’t know about the florist: his name.

a/n: i’ve wanted to write a florist!taeyong fic for the longest time and i finally got to!! thank you so much to @neo-cult-ure for reaching out to me to be part of this collab and please please please check out the rest of the fics because they were all written by some really talented writers!! thank you to @jungwoohoos for checking this fic over as she’s done with my others ily. hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated :-)

When you open your eyes, you can’t help but feel like something is off. You can’t quite put a finger on it but something feels strange. But perhaps it was that strange dream that you had last night. Something about picking a color and finding your soulmate? The details of the dream were already escaping you but it doesn’t matter because you have to start getting ready for school-

Wait. School?

You sit up in bed and realize that you’re back in your childhood bedroom. You can even hear your dad singing in the shower judging by the terrible vocals that you can hear through your closed door. But why are you at your parents’ house? You look at your bedside table and see your phone and a letter with your name on it beside it. Picking up your phone, you check the time and realize that it’s 7am but it’s the date that throws you off; it’s 8 years behind. You pick up the envelope and slide your finger under the flap, hoping that whatever was inside would help you figure out just what exactly was going on.

Dear Y/N,

You’re probably wondering what’s going on. Your memories from our reality are mixing with your memories from the reality that you’re in so life is going to be a bit confusing. Good thing I wrote this letter to explain, huh? My name is Cyan. I’m the woman you ran into and told you to pick a color to find your soulmate. Yes, that was real, it wasn’t a dream. You’re currently in an alternate universe and your goal is to find your soulmate. Once you do that, you will return back to our reality and you and your soulmate will have the memories from the alternate reality. It’s your job to not only find them in the alternate reality but in our reality as well. This sounds difficult but don’t worry. Fortunately, you and your soulmate are able to meet in your dreams. However, I don’t know the exact details about that so you’ll have to figure them out yourself. Good luck and hopefully we’ll see each other soon!

All the best,

Cyan xoxo

You sit in bed for the next 5 minutes, trying to process everything in the short letter. You have a soulmate? You’re in an alternate reality? And not only that but you’re a teenager again so now you have to go back to high school? And what about your reality? How does time work here? Is this like a Narnia thing where you’re gone for years but return at the exact moment that you left? Or are you there for a week but 10 years have passed when you go back? And what the hell did “Cyan” mean about meeting your soulmate in your-

“Y/N! Are you awake? You’re supposed to leave in 20 minutes!”

Everywhere you turned, people were always talking about soulmates. Was there ever a time that we didn’t ever know who our soulmate is? How are we able to communicate with each other in our dreams? What about the people who don’t actually end up with their soulmate in the end? But you didn’t care about that. Especially in this very moment. Soulmates, in fact, aren’t real at all.

At least, you wish they weren’t real right now.

Because then Doyoung wouldn’t have broken up with you just because he finally dreamt about his soulmate last night. You’d probably be with him right now, watching whatever cult classic movie he thinks you just have to see because you made a comment once about never watching Fight Club during 8th grade. If he hadn’t had that dumb dream, your 2 year relationship wouldn’t be a flaming pile of garbage right now and you wouldn’t have the new drugstore eyeliner that Yejin had recommended to you running down your face.

“Wanna see this video that Xiaojun sent me of his dog?” Kun asks you, effectively breaking the hour of silence that the two of you have been sitting in, the only noise coming from your spontaneous bouts of crying and the videos on Kun’s phone as he scrolls through TikTok. After seeing that state that you were in at school when Doyoung broke up with you that morning, Kun knew that he wasn’t going to leave you alone today. You turn over to face him with a sigh, your head propped up on your hand as you watch Kun’s cousin’s dog run around their living room. But even an overexcited puppy isn’t enough to lift your spirits, something that Kun notices immediately and he frowns. “Listen, Doyoung didn’t deserve you and you know that and if given permission, I wouldn’t hesitate to dropkick him for you. You’ll find your soulmate eventually, and I’m sure they’ll be everything you actually need in a partner.”

You wrinkle your nose at his words; you and Kun have been best friends since you were 5 so it’s weird to hear him saying this cheesy stuff to you sometimes. “That was really nice and I really appreciate that, Kun, but please don’t tell me that you’re about to confess your feelings to me.” You laugh loudly when your best friend shoves you, returning his glare with a smirk as you attempt to smother him in a hug. “I’ll always love you but-”

“Y/N, I’m just trying to be a good best friend,” Kun rolls his eyes as he goes back to looking at his phone. “Your life isn’t one of those fanfictions you used to read when you were 15.”

“Yeah because if it were, the universe wouldn’t have made my boyfriend of 2 years dump me the day before my birthday!”

That night, you roll over in your bed for what feels like the millionth time. You check the time on your phone again and groan at the late hour, mentally preparing yourself for the exhaustion that you’re bound to feel tomorrow. You wonder if turning 18 will feel any different. Will you dream about your soulmate tonight? Not like you’re too eager to talk to any guy in a non-platonic way but it would still be cool. You wonder what they’re like; what’s their favorite color, what’s their favorite place to go to clear their head, do they like to look at the stars just as much as you do? You feel yourself grow tired as you think about your soulmate and force yourself to not think about Doyoung, your eyes finally closing as you wonder if your soulmate likes flowers.

“Thanks for coming tonight. Want some cake?”

Someone places a slice of cake into your hands and when you look up to thank the person, all you can see are deep brown eyes. Both literally and figuratively; their eyes are very nice but they’re also blurry. You blink a couple of times and squint to get a better look at them but even when they’re standing so close to you, you can’t seem to make out any distinct features at all. You look around at all of the other partygoers and find that you can see them all just fine, so why can’t you see this person?

“My name’s Taeyong. And judging by the fact that you’re the only person in here that I can’t see, I’m going to guess that you’re my soulmate and you also can’t see me. Am I right?” they say to you, and even though you can’t see him, you can tell that there’s a smile on his face.

You stick your hand out and, even though he can’t see you, you smile at Taeyong. “My name is Y/N.”

Taeyong shakes your hand but rather than letting go, his grip tightens ever so slightly and his hand slides across yours to grip it as he leads you away from the spot you were standing in. He takes you outside, the cool night air refreshing on your skin and the moonlight making everything glow ethereally. He sits on the grass in the middle of the yard and gestures for you to do the same, laughing quietly to himself when he sees you looking up at the night sky in awe. You take a seat next time, your eyes never leaving in the sky as you whisper, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars before.”

“Do you like looking at the stars?” Taeyong asks.

You nod, your gaze finally leaving the sky above you to look at the boy next to you. “They’re pretty. And they make me feel… seen. The light from those stars, which are most definitely dead by now, travelled millions of light years just for us to see them, and they see us too. I don’t really know how to explain it but looking at the stars just makes me feel like everything is going to be okay.”

“Whenever I visited my grandparents, my grandpa would take me outside and show me all of these constellations using his telescope. Everything I know about the stars and the planets are because of him.” Taeyong goes quiet and you wait. From the way he’s looking down and pulling up blades of grass, you can tell that what he’s going to say next is important. “He died when I was 16. Some drunk driver who couldn’t tell the difference between the road and the sidewalk. I was so sad after he died.” You place your hand on his knee as a sign of comfort, not wanting to push him since you two just met. He lets out a mirthless laugh and you can’t help but smile sympathetically. “I stayed with my grandma for that entire summer after it happened. One night I was using his telescope and I couldn’t get it to focus properly and I just got so mad that I broke it. I cried after that and my grandma found me the next morning, sleeping out in the yard next to the broken telescope. She yelled at me, not because I broke his telescope, but because I could’ve gotten sick.”

“He sounds like a great man,” you murmur. “I’m sure he’s proud of you and that he misses you just as much as you miss him.”

Taeyong hums beside you, the two of you continuing to look up at the stars in silence. “So,” he says loudly to break the silence. “Any sad childhood stories you want to tell me? Since apparently I’ve decided that that’s what we’re going to do the first time that we meet.”

You burst out laughing at that, and even though you just got your heartbroken, you think that having a soulmate won’t be that bad after all. “I think we’re going to have to at least be friends before I tell you all about my traumas.”

The boy beside you gets up and offers a hand down to you, helping you stand up. “Friends?” he asks incredulously. “We’re soulmates!”

“All I know about you is that your name is Taeyong and that you broke your dead grandpa’s telescope while stargazing,” you point out.

You turn to look at him and your breath hitches, finally noticing that Taeyong is completely facing you and is standing very close to you. He takes both his hands in yours and you look up at him, and even though you couldn’t make out his facial features, you could feel his hands in yours and the warmth radiating off of him and that was enough. There’s this inexplicable pull in your stomach that makes you want to move even closer to him and just as you can feel yourself lift your foot up to take that first step, you panic and take a giant step back instead, letting Taeyong’s hands fall to his side.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? Did I say something to offend you?” your soulmate asks, taking a step towards you but stopping when you put your hands up.

“You didn’t do anything, Taeyong, don’t worry,” you reassure him. “It’s just that…” You bite your lower lip in worry, wondering if talking about your personal life was appropriate in this situation. But he did just tell you something personal about him- “My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me today so I’m not looking to rush into anything any time soon. I know that we’re soulmates but I need time to heal and be my own person.”

Taeyong doesn’t say anything for a bit and you wonder if you’ve told him too much. Just as you begin to think of ways to stop yourself from sleeping ever again so you don’t have to see him, he surprises you. “Out of all the people the universe could have put me together with, it just had to be you. I think we’re going to be great friends in no time!”

He holds his hand out for you and you take it, allowing him to lead you back to the party.

When you wake up, the first thing you see are the glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling. Even though they’re nothing like the ones you saw in your dream, you can’t help but think of your soulmate’s grandfather. After a few minutes, you realize that you don’t remember your soulmate’s name or the story he told you about his grandfather.

“Great, so all I know about him is that he likes to stargaze with his grandpa-”

“Y/N, who are you talking to? Are you getting ready for school?”

Your meetings with Taeyong usually consist of you trying to remember at least one thing about the other, hoping that the repetition will be enough to get something to stick when you wake up that morning. The two of you are in Taeyong’s dream tonight (as you usually are since you rarely dream and if you do, usually it’s about someone trying to kill you), walking through a park full of cherry blossom trees with your arms linked together. He leads you over to a bench where you both sit in silence for a bit, the two of you lost in your own separate thoughts.

“So,” Taeyong says to break the silence. “We both leave for university tomorrow.”

You look over at him to find him already looking at you, and even though you can’t see him, you know that you share the same feelings he’s experiencing right now. “I know, it’ll be weird, right? One step closer to being in the adult world and all that. What higher power decided that I’m capable of being an adult?”

Taeyong’s hand brushes over yours and hovers hesitantly before taking it in his own. You let it happen because you know that he doesn’t mean anything by it. He’s just as scared as you are, so why not find comfort in the person that’s supposed to be in your life forever? You squeeze his hand and rest your head on his shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of the cherry blossoms before sighing deeply. Everything is about to change.

Your soulmate hums in consideration, shifting his body closer to you to make you more comfortable. “Well I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to college so I can be an adult,” he confesses. “I’m going because I want to get drunk off my ass with my friends.”

You roll your eyes at his joke, sitting up straight so you could playfully shove him. “Oh shut up, Taeyong, you know you’re gonna be the best astronomer out there.”

He shrugs in response, fiddling with your hand in his lap as he looks out at the trees in front of you. “We’ll see. Life is crazy; we might end up somewhere we weren’t even expecting.”

And Taeyong was right. Life is crazy. Yours and Taeyong’s first year at university was hard. You were pursuing a major in economics while Taeyong was pursuing a major in physics with a concentration in astronomy. The two of you were so stressed your first year that you barely got to meet in your dreams because neither of you had any; you just slept. Your lives were: wake up, go to class, do work for the rest of the day, find some time to eat in between all of that, and then sleep just enough to keep you alive.

But you knew that you couldn’t do this for another 3 years. You ended up switching to a major in food science and nutrition with a minor in business while Taeyong switched to a major in plant science. During your time at university, the two of you tried as best as you could to remember where the other went to school so you could try to meet somewhere in the middle but the most you could remember by the end of your third year was that you both go to school in Seoul.

(“You remember that we’re both in Seoul, so that’s good!” Taeyong reassures you one night as you whine about still not being able to meet each other. “We’re one step closer!”

“Yong, Seoul is huge and there’s so many universities here. How are we supposed to narrow it down?” you pout as you lean forward to rest your forehead against his chest.

Taeyong sighs and pats your head, not knowing what else to say because he knows you’re right. But he won’t give up hope; he knows he’ll see you soon. Just as he’s about to answer, the room around you goes dark and you hear the creaking of floorboards above you. He can see the fear in your eyes when he meets your gaze and his heart begins to pound. There’s a loud bang from upstairs and you immediately run out of the building you were in.

“You know, I’m really starting to hate your dreams. Maybe this is why we can’t remember anything, because we’re too busy running for our lives like we’re in a horror movie!”

When you woke up that morning, all you could remember was that he hates being in your dreams.)

By the beginning of your last year, the two of you agreed to stop trying so hard to meet each other. You assume that the universe just isn’t ready for the two of you to meet yet so you might as well enjoy just spending time with each other. Taeyong agrees and surprisingly, it works. You start to remember more and more about him—small things like his dog’s name and that the scar next to his eye resembles a rose—so you start to write them down. You even make a list of things that happen every day that you would want to tell him just in case you see each other that night.

Last night, you finally remembered the recipe for his banana bread, something that took you nearly an entire year to learn. You grab your journal from your desk and write down the recipe, humming in satisfaction when you write down the last ingredient. You read over the other things you’ve learned about Taeyong over the years—his favorite color is pink, he has a dog named Ruby and she is one of the 4 most important women in his life (“Who are the others?” “You, my mom, and my sister obviously!”), he has 4 tattoos—and hear his voice in the back of your head from your first year reassuring you.

We’re one step closer.

You place the finished drink on the counter just as the bell above the door jingles, alerting you to your first customer of the day. “One medium iced caramel macchiato with almond milk,” you announce, holding out a straw and napkin for Kun to take as he walks up to you with half-closed eyes. “Busy night last night?” you tease him as he takes his first sip, laughing when you see his body relax at the first taste of caffeine. “That one’s on me since you look like you need it.”

“Xiaojun had his friends over last night,” Kun complains as he takes a seat at the counter to be near you, tracing the letters of the coffee shop's name that’s on the cup sleeve as he talks. “It’s nice living with him since we’re cousins and all but him and his friends are such enablers. But I beat all of them at Mario Kart last night, so it was worth it I guess.”

You hum in understanding and pick up a towel to clean off the counters, knowing that the usual morning rush would come in soon and you wouldn’t get a chance to clean when it did. “So what I’m hearing is that it’s actually your fault, is that right?”

“They’re enablers, Y/N, I’m telling you!” your best friend protests, his words a bit muffled due to the straw in his mouth as he takes another sip. “They know that I can’t resist playing Mario Kart when I’m drunk!”

“They got you drunk?” you repeat. “I’m starting to think that I don’t even know who you are anymore, Kun. Getting drunk on a Sunday night knowing you have work the next morning? Doesn’t sound like my best friend if you ask me.”

Kun rolls his eyes at you but just as he’s about to respond, the bell above the door jingles (quite violently) and another customer walks in with a “Good morning, Busy Bean!” You look up to find Donghyuck walking towards you, a wide smile on his face and his right hand hidden behind his back.

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Kun grumbles, gathering up his stuff as soon as he hears the younger boy’s voice.

You laugh at that, knowing that the only reason Kun dislikes Donghyuck is because he works for the new florist across the street. But Kun’s just funny like that sometimes. He had been the only florist in town and everybody knew about his shop, A Thousand Petals. The place was beautiful and Kun was good at what he did. But then a couple of months ago, the competition rolled in. At least, that’s what it was for him. To you, the new flower shop across the street from you meant nothing other than the fact that they had replaced the burger joint that nobody went to. And let’s just say that Kun didn’t appreciate being surprised with competition on a Monday morning while being handed his daily macchiato. You gave him free coffee for a week to make up for it.

“Bye Kun!” Donghyuck shouts happily, waving to him energetically even though your best friend only grunts in response. He walks up to the counter and reveals what he was hiding behind his back: a bundle of daisies. “Some pretty flowers for a pretty girl,” he says as he hands them over to you.

You accept them with a smile, thanking him as you put them in a mason jar in front of the register. “What’ll it be today, sunshine? The usual?” you ask, even though you’re already punching in the order for 2 iced Americanos.

Donghyuck blushes at your nickname for him and his lovestruck eyes staring at you doesn’t escape your notice. You’ve grown used to the boy’s antics and know that his flirting is meaningless. “Nope,” he replies, popping the ‘p’ as he leans against the counter. “Just a muffin please. And can I get it warm?”

You nod and put in his order, taking his cash and then smiling when you see him put the change in the tip jar. “So why no coffee today?” you ask as you put his muffin in the oven. “You guys find a place better than mine?”

The boy’s jaw drops at this, his posture straightening as he looks at you in shock. “Y/N, how dare you even suggest that. You know that there’s no coffee place better than yours!” He takes one of the flowers from the jar and starts fiddling with it, his smile widening when Johnny, one of your employees, comes out from the back. “Johnny!”

Johnny’s eyes widen at the sight of him and he freezes, his cup of coffee only midway to his mouth. “Damn, I thought you’d be gone already,” he mumbles, the two of you laughing as the boy starts fake crying. Johnny takes out the muffin from the oven and hands it to Hyuck after putting it in a bag. “Thanks for coming to The Busy Bean, we hope to never see you again.”

You push Johnny on to the floor, throwing a towel at his face as you chuckle. “Johnny, stop being mean to Hyuck and go clean the tables before Mrs. Choi complains again about them being dirty.” You ignore his noise of complaint in favor of turning back to the boy still in front of you who’s already started eating.

“His Majesty doesn’t want coffee yet,” he shrugs, crumbs falling from his mouth as he answers your question. “But you know he’s a caffeine addict so he’ll probably send me over during my lunch break.” He throws out the bag and puts the flower that he left lying on the counter back into the jar. “Speaking of which, I should probably head back. See you in a few hours!”

You wave goodbye to him and watch as he crosses the street to the flower shop. Donghyuck is an interesting kid. When you first look at him, you wouldn’t think that he works at a flower shop but you found out he’s only working there for the summer because he starts university in the fall. And his cousin’s the one that owns the place so it was a guaranteed job (“My mom and his mom actually had to convince him to let me work there but you know, I basically already had it.”). Ever since he first walked into your store, he’s been trying to set you up with his cousin, swearing up and down that the two of you would be great together. You’ve always laughed it off though since you weren’t particularly looking for anything and you weren’t about to take advice from an 18 year old.

“Here they come,” Johnny announces, running back to stand behind the counter with you as the morning rush comes in. You notice that the crowd seems to be bigger than usual and you feel nervous; The Busy Bean had just recently gone through some construction and had expanded but your new employees haven’t finished training so they can’t start working until next week. Johnny can tell that you’re nervous and places a hand on your shoulder, and when you look up at him, you see him smiling down at you. “Don’t be nervous, we’ll be fine! We always are.”

When you were in college, Johnny was the first friend that you made. Being without Kun was weird and scary even though he was only a 30 minute subway ride away from you but luckily, the boy living across the hall from you was there to provide you with company. The two of you did everything together—when you weren’t busy with labs and presentations and he wasn’t busy with his research and papers, that is. You even applied for jobs at the Starbucks on campus at the beginning of your junior year, and you were pretty sure the manager would have fired the both of you for always goofing off if you weren’t his best employees.

But the day that you knew he was going to be in your life for a long time was when you finally told him your dream of opening your own coffee shop. It was something that only Kun knew, too embarrassed to tell anyone else after your parents had told you that it would never happen. Johnny had surprised you that day, promising to be your first employee once it happened. You watch him from your place behind the coffee machine, watching him talk to Mr. Park from the restaurant that the two of you always go to with a smile on his face. Aside from Kun and your store, Johnny is all you have and when he notices you staring at him and makes a face at you, you thank the universe for putting him in your life.

“I have returned!” Donghyuck announces when he walks into the cafe, true to his word about returning during his lunch break. Behind him is a man who looks to be only a few years older than him with hair the exact same color as coffee foam. You’ve never seen him before but Hyuck apparently knows him as you watch him drag the older boy up to the counter. “2 medium iced Americanos please,” he says to Johnny in a cute voice, pouting when the man behind the register denies him his order with no emotion in his voice.

“Where’s your manager? I need to tell her you’re being mean to me,” Hyuck says as he sticks his tongue out at Johnny. You walk over with their coffee and place it down on the counter with a laugh, bumping Johnny with your hip to get him away from the register.

“Maybe Johnny wouldn’t be mean to you if you didn’t try to annoy him every time you’re here, sunshine,” you tease him as you take his money. Johnny hands them straws and napkins, making sure to stick his tongue out at the teenager in retaliation. You shake your head at him when he sees that you notice. You’re surrounded by children.

“Oh, this is the owner of The Busy Bean by the way,” Hyuck says to his cousin, smirking when he notices a blush beginning to form on his cheeks. “You know, the girl that you said you think is cute when you first saw h-”

“Hi, nice to meet you,” the older boy greets you very loudly as he cuts off Donghyuck, reaching out to shake your hand with blazing cheeks. “I’m- Uh- I-I’m TY.”

You shake his hand as you stifle a giggle, finding the blush on his face cute. Donghyuck on the other hand does nothing to hide his laugh, just narrowly avoiding an elbow in his side from his cousin. “Nice to meet you, Your Majesty. I wasn’t aware that I would be in the presence of royalty today otherwise I would have rolled out the red carpet.”

“I wasn’t aware that, uh, you have such a nice smile,” the florist compliments you, making you smile as you thank him. “Your teeth are pretty,” he blurts out and you feel your smile falter as you process the compliment. Your teeth are… pretty? Johnny and Hyuck attempt to stifle their laughter at the man’s outburst, the man in question turning red as a tomato when he realizes what he said to you. He slowly starts to back away, pulling Donghyuck by the back his shirt towards the exit as he stutters out, “U-Uh I mean- S-Sorry that was weird- You uh-”

“Watch out!” you warn him, noticing a customer looking down at their phone pushing open the door right into his back.

TY lets out an ‘oof!’ as the door hits him, stumbling forward and tripping over his own feet to regain his balance. The coffee in his hand wasn’t so lucky however, spilling all over the floor and some of it even getting on Hyuck’s white shoes. The two of them quickly rush over to get napkins, TY sputtering out apology after apology as he cleans up the mess on the floor while his cousin whines about the coffee on his new shoes. You quickly get to work on making him a new coffee while Johnny deals with the new customer.

The pair quickly exit after you give TY his coffee, and you’re able to hear Hyuck saying, “I’m telling your mom that you spilled coffee on my new shoes. Also who the fuck calls you ‘TY’, why didn’t you just tell your name like a normal person? I can’t believe I’m related to-” before the door closes.

“Do you think that guy’s ever gonna come back?” Johnny asks you after the customer had left, gesturing towards the flower shop.

You can see Hyuck dancing in the middle of the store while the owner laughs and you can’t help but smile. You wonder what his laugh sounds like. “I hope so.”

As you’re getting ready for bed that night, you open up the notes app on your phone to read over what you wanted to tell Taeyong about in case you saw him tonight. Even on slow days, you usually have at least one or two things to tell him, but tonight you find it empty. You hadn’t thought about him all day.

Taeyong surprises both himself and Hyuck when he decides to go back to The Busy Bean only a week after what his cousin likes to call The Incident™ (he even says “trademark” out loud, what a weirdo). The man usually isn’t one to be this brave but he can’t deny the pull that he feels towards you. You’re cute, you have a nice laugh, and he wants to make you smile again. And your iced Americanos are unmatched. Starbucks who?

Walking into the cafe, he immediately feels his hands start to sweat at the sight of you. Your hair looks extra shiny today and you’re dancing along to the song that’s playing with Johnny (kind of badly, but it’s pretty cute). Taking a deep breath, he repeats the simple order in his head one more time. One medium iced Americano, one medium iced caramel coffee, and 2 cake pops. (“If I don’t get to go, then you have to make it up to me somehow!” Hyuck protested when Taeyong told him to watch the store while he went to get coffee. So cake pops it is.) When you see Taeyong walking towards the counter, you give him the biggest smile and he swears his heart skips a beat. He knows he’s going to end up with Y/N eventually but wow, this girl sure knows how to take his breath away.

“Welcome back, Your Majesty,” you greet him, your cheeks still slightly pink from your laughing and dancing. Taeyong notices a daisy tucked behind your ear and he realizes that it’s one of the daisies that he had shoved into Hyuck’s hands and told him to bring when he went to the store just last week. The man feels his heart skip a beat at that; you look like a goddess. “Didn’t think we would see you back here so soon. Our red carpet is at the dry cleaner’s unfortunately.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Taeyong shrugs, playing along with your teasing. “I get treated better here than I do at my own shop anyways. Hyuck won’t stop bringing up last week to literally everyone we know.” He blushes when he brings up the events of last week but he feels immensely better when you laugh. “Thank you for replacing my coffee by the way. I can pay for it now since I left so quickly last time.”

“That one was on the house,” you say, waving your hand in the air. “Anyways, what can I get for you today?”

Taeyong makes sure to come back at least twice a week after that, much to Donghyuck’s dismay. Each time he comes, he has to force himself to go back to his own store rather than staying and talking with you and Johnny. He finds himself growing more and more comfortable with your presence, his words coming more easily to him the more he’s around you. The conversation even turns flirty at some point, something that he didn’t even think he was capable of since graduating college. Sure he’s had a few lay it on pretty thick with him when they come into the store but middle aged women aren’t exactly his type. You are more his type, if he’s being honest. You and his soulmate, Y-

“Your name is Y/N?!” Taeyong all but squeaks out, his voice cracking as he drags his eyes from Johnny to you. Could you be…?

Both you and Johnny blink at him, not understanding where this sudden outburst came from. “Uh yeah, why? Is there something wrong with that?” you joke as you continue to make his drink.

Taeyong mentally shakes it off, subtly rolling his shoulders to rid himself of the unnecessary excitement he just felt. It’s probably just a coincidence. The universe seems to like mocking him, apparently. There’s no way he would just randomly find his soulmate like this. He couldn’t even remember where she ended up living after graduating college. “It’s nothing,” he says while shaking his head, giving Johnny a small smile as he hands over his cash. He notices the withering daisies in front of the register and makes a mental note to bring some fresh ones next time. “I’ve just always liked that name. I think it’s pretty.”

When you first created The Busy Bean, you hadn’t thought of incorporating flowers until Kun brought up that you had said you wanted to make it stand out from other cafes. That and the fact that the store’s name is based off of “a busy bee” and that, in the words of Kun, “your best friend just so happens to be the owner of the best flower shop in the city.” Unfortunately for you, your best friend and the owner of the best flower shop in the city won’t be around for an entire week because of a family emergency. And because of the store’s recent expansion and being so busy with training all of your new hires, it had completely slipped your mind to order new flowers for next month’s theme. When you had said all of this to Johnny during a lull in the morning rush, all he said in response was, “That’s rough, buddy.” (The two of you have been rewatching Avatar: The Last Airbender together recently.) What a great best friend.

After making sure that Johnny and the new hires knew exactly what they would be doing during the closing shift, you take a deep breath and do the one thing that you know Kun will never forgive you for once he finds out. “He’ll forgive you, you have no other choice,” you whisper to yourself as you cross the street towards Bloomin’ Love. You open the door and are greeted by the fresh smell of flowers, a Yiruma song softly playing in the background and fitting the atmosphere perfectly as the setting sun shines golden light into the store. It felt like you had entered a magical world.

“Welcome to Bloomin’ Love,” Hyuck greets you, not even looking up from his phone as he leans against the front counter. “Is there anything I can help you with today?”

“I don’t think your boss would be very happy if he found out that you were using your phone while there’s a customer in the store,” you tease him as you walk up to the counter, laughing when Hyuck scrambles to hide his phone and looks up with wide eyes.

The boy’s shoulders immediately deflate when he sees that it’s just you, placing his phone in front of him as he smiles at you. “Y/N, I didn’t think I would ever see you in here. Did you and Kun get into a fight or something? Did he finally get mad that you’re ‘fraternizing with the enemy’s cousin because I’m trying to get you to fraternize with the enemy’?”

You shake your head, explaining, “Kun’s out of town, he has no idea that I’m here right now. I actually need to talk to TY, is he here? I have a big order because I need new flowers for The Busy Bean next month.”

Donghyuck nods as he points towards the back, an area that you assume is restricted to customers since it’s behind the counter. “He’s in his office right now. Let me just tell him you’re here really quickly.”

He walks away quickly before you even have a chance to nod, so you take a look at the flowers around the shop. Directly behind you are bouquets of roses but what really strikes your interest are the magnolia flowers and plum blossoms along your left. You lean down to smell them, their floral scent overwhelming your senses and making you feel even calmer than you already did.

“Plum blossoms are one of my favorite flowers,” a voice says from behind you, making you jump and bump into whoever it was. You feel hands on your waist that help steady you as you sway on your feet, your eyes coming up to meet those of the man you were looking for. “Sorry about that,” TY chuckles, the tips of his ears pink as he withdraws his hands from you. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Donghyuck said you’re looking for me?”

You nod frantically, before explaining your situation to him, his eyes never leaving you as you talk. “I usually give Kun complete creative control because I don’t know much about flowers and which ones bloom during which season.”

TY nods understandingly, humming as he thinks and scans over the various plants in the store. “Flowers that only bloom during spring…” He begins to walk around, with you following a few steps behind him, his hands hovering over the flowers and his fingers occasionally brushing over their petals as he looks at each one carefully. TY suddenly stops in his tracks, one hand resting on a peony before he suddenly turns to you with a wide grin on his face. “I think I have some ideas.”

The florist brings you back to his office, and you think you see Hyuck wink at the both of you as you follow his cousin to the back but when you get a closer look, the boy’s already assumed his previous position of scrolling on his phone. As of recently, the teenager has been teasing you more and more for what he assumes are the beginnings of feelings for his cousin. And even though you swear up and down that the two of you are just friends, you can’t help but think about the possibilities some nights. Which makes you feel guilty because what about Taeyong? Your dreams with him have felt different lately, both of you distracted at one point or another, the conversation becoming awkward at some points because the both of you know that something has changed. Is this the universe testing you? Putting a man that you feel yourself growing more and more fond of with every passing day just to see if you’ll reject him in favor of the partner that it has chosen for you?

“Y/N?” the florist calls out, his hand waving in front of your face to get your attention. You jump slightly in your seat, eyes meeting his after you’re pulled out of your thoughts. “You still with me? I asked if you could give me a floor plan or something of where you put all of your flowers.”

“Oh sorry,” you apologize, heart pounding in your chest at getting caught zoning out. You pull the floor plan that you and Kun had first made 2 years ago and hand it over to TY, your eyes tracing the veins in his hands as he smooths out the paper on his desk. His hands look like they would be really nice to hold. Wait what? No, stop, think about Taeyong.

TY shares his general thought process with you, lightly drawing circles and arrows on the paper to show you where he pictures bunches of hyacinth and jasmine would be. Names like Barberton daisy, dogwood, azalea, and peony are mentioned while you nod along enthusiastically, not really knowing what any of them look like but trusting the vision in the man’s head completely. As he’s talking, you can’t help but get lost in the sound of his voice, the passion and flow of his words making your heart swell. As guilty as it makes you feel, you couldn’t help the feelings that you could feel blooming in your heart for the florist.

The two of you stand once TY is done sharing his ideas and you’ve run out of questions to ask. You force yourself to leave rather than think up an excuse to spend more time with him, his laughter paired with the way he looks at you dangerous for your pounding heart and overly imaginative brain. He says goodbye to you with a wave but not before handing you a business card with the store’s number should you have any more questions. As you’re walking out, you can hear Hyuck teasing his cousin, and when you turn around to spare TY one last glance, you can see a blush on his cheeks as he quickly looks away, as if he was caught staring.

Just before you get into bed that night, you take one last look at the business card that you had been given just hours ago. When you read the name on the card, you feel as if time itself has come to a stop. Your breathing turns shallow as you bring the card closer to you, squeezing your eyes shut and then opening them just in case it was some weird trick of the light. But it wasn’t. Right there on the card is the one name that you weren’t expecting at all.

Lee Taeyong.

It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream, it’s just a-

You feel yourself being pulled down into the water, a hand wrapped around your ankle dragging you down to the bottom of the pool. You kick with all of your strength at the invisible attacker, your lungs screaming for air as you thrash in the water. A pair of arms wrap around your waist and pull you out of the water, the person screaming at you to stand as they tug on your arm. Coughing your lungs out, you can just barely make out Taeyong’s blurry form as he runs out onto the empty street with your hand in his.

Suddenly, an SUV with its lights on appears behind you, the driver revving the engine and accelerating very quickly towards the two of you. You just barely dodge it, the vehicle only inches away from Taeyong’s body as you pull him towards a dark house. You climb over fences and run through yards, neither of you daring to say a word in fear of whoever is after you being near. Your hand stays in his the entire time, too scared of getting separated to let go.

You see a light approaching you and duck behind some garbage cans, willing your breathing and heart rate to slow so that you could listen for any footsteps. Taeyong quivers beside you in fear, his hand squeezing yours and when you look over at him, you can only imagine how scared he must look right now. Looking at him, you realize that there was something you wanted to talk about tonight but with every single nerve being on edge since you’re, you know, running for your life, you can’t remember what it is for the life of you. Lights from the SUV pass by, gravel crunching underneath the tires as the car goes by you very slowly. You pray to every higher power out there that they don’t catch you and you release a quiet sigh of relief when you see the car turn and drive farther away from you.

“Have I ever told you how much I hate being in your dreams?” Taeyong murmurs, his grip on your hand loosening but still not letting go. “Because I really hate being here right now.”

You huff out a laugh before slowly standing up to brush the dirt off of you. Just as you’re about to respond, you feel a hand clap over your mouth, Taeyong’s eyes widening as he screams and reaches out for you. Something sharp presses against your back just as you hear a gunshot, blood quickly soaking into Taeyong’s pants from getting shot in the thigh, before everything goes black.

You have to stop yourself from looking over your shoulder every 5 minutes because of the intense nightmare that you had yesterday. The feeling of being watched lingered with you all morning, something that Johnny noticed and was concerned about at first until you told him the reason you were acting so paranoid and jumpy. Then he just ended up teasing you and even scared you in front of a customer, falling on the floor laughing when it happened. But you couldn’t help it, the dream just felt so real and it didn’t help that Taeyong, an actual person, was there with you to make it seem all the more real. You wonder how he must be handling it, you know he’s not the biggest fan of horror movies or scary things in general.

You decide to visit Bloomin’ Love during your lunch break, the questions that you wanted to ask Taeyong still unanswered. But if you’re right and Taeyong actually is TY, then you would get your answer in a few minutes. Except it turns out that you won’t be getting your answers today.

“What do you mean he’s not here?” you ask Hyuck in disbelief, even looking towards the back to check if the office light is on in case he’s just playing a joke. “He’s your boss and one of the two people that work here, why are you here and he isn’t?”

The boy shrugs before hopping up to sit on the counter, long legs swinging as he bops along to the music that’s playing from what you assume is his own playlist. “He was here when I got here this morning but then he left after an hour and told me he’s taking the rest of the day off because he’s been feeling anxious all morning. Something about having a nightmare last night? It must have been really bad for him to take a day off because you and I both know that this store is basically his baby.”

He had a nightmare?

The bell above the door jingles as a customer comes in and immediately approaches the two of you to ask for help. You back away to let Hyuck do his job, bidding him goodbye before heading back to The Busy Bean. Hyuck’s words swirl around your head, the conversation replaying over and over as you take out the business card that you put in your pocket this morning to look at the name printed on it.

Taeyong. Lee Taeyong, the owner of Bloomin’ Love. Lee Taeyong, who introduced himself to you as TY. Lee Taeyong, your soulmate.

After that, you become distracted during work, your eyes constantly looking at the clock to see how much longer until your shift is over. Of course the one day that you find out who your soulmate is, the one day that it would be super convenient to be able to leave work early, is the day one of your new workers can’t come in because they got food poisoning the night before. You don’t even know what you’re going to do once your shift is over though. The number on the card is the store number and you already know that Taeyong isn’t there. Maybe you could just ask Hyuck to give you his number? But then what? What would you even say? “Hey TY, it’s Y/N. Hyuck told me that you had a nightmare last night so I think you might be my soulmate”?

The universe, however, seems to have your back. At the end of your shift, just as you’re saying goodbye to Johnny and Jaemin, one of your new hires, you hear a very familiar voice call out your name. And when you turn around, there stands the exact man that you’ve been hoping but not expecting to see all day. You can’t help but smile widely when you see him and nod when he asks if you want to sit.

“These are for you, by the way,” he says as he gives you a small bouquet of pink forget-me-nots. “Pink is my favorite color but they reminded me of you when I saw them in the store just now.”

You thank them as you take the flowers from his hands, inhaling deeply before placing them down on the table. “You were in the store? Hyuck told me you took the day off.”

“I stopped by just to make sure he didn’t burn the place down,” TY chuckles and he sounds… nervous? Looking at him, you notice that he’s barely making eye contact with you, taking more interest in tracing the tattoo of a lavender plant that’s on his inner forearm. You wonder if he knows what you know, or at least what you think you know. You wonder if maybe he’s even known this entire time.

“Do you have a soulmate, TY?” you blurt out, too impatient to indulge him with more small talk.

He looks up at you with wide eyes at your question and you watch as the tips of his ears turn red. “I-I do,” he responds while nodding simultaneously.

“What are they like?” you ask him, telling yourself to calm down and to make sure that you’re right. It would be really embarrassing if you aren’t.

“She’s the girl of my dreams,” he jokes, laughing loudly when you groan and roll your eyes at his dumb joke. “She really is though. She’s really smart and knows exactly what she wants from life. She’s extremely hard-working but she also knows when she needs to stop and relax. She really likes strawberry cake and also likes stargazing. I actually tried making a move on her when we first met because I was young and dumb but then she told me that her boyfriend of 2 years had just broken up with her, so I felt extremely stupid that night.”

You feel like your heart is about to burst out of your chest at his words and you know that you must have a funny look on your face because TY- no, Taeyong is looking at you strangely. “What about you?” he asks, his wide eyes and head that’s tilted slightly to the side reminding you of a puppy. “What’s your soulmate like?”

You laugh and take a deep breath, mustering all of the courage to pour all of the love you’ve been wanting to show Taeyong all these years into your words. “He’s the best, honestly, I’m really lucky that he’s my soulmate,” you say softly, your eyes not once leaving Taeyong’s as you speak. “He’s really goofy and not at all afraid to be who he is. He’s very supportive too; Johnny and Kun were always there for me when college got hard, especially when I switched my major, but it was his words that always kept me going. His favorite color is pink and he absolutely adores his mom, he swears up and down that her kimchi jjigae is the best in the entire world. When we first met, he-”

You stop to look at Taeyong and you see tears in his eyes, a soft smile on his face as he listens to you talk. You take a shuddering breath and lift your hand to gently take his hand in yours; he knows. “When we first met, he told me about his grandpa and how his love for the stars came from him.” You see a single tear cascade down Taeyong’s cheek and you reach out to wipe it away. With a watery laugh, you say, “He also told me that he ended up breaking his grandpa’s telescope after he died.”

Taeyong rests his forehead against your joined hands as he laughs, his eyelashes wet with tears and his eyes shining when he looks back up at you. “I finally found you,” he whispers in awe. “After all of these years, the universe finally put you right in front of me and I didn’t even know.”

“That day, when you said that you think my name is pretty,” you say, his words playing in your mind as you remember the day you’re talking about, “did you know?”

“I was suspicious but I thought it was too good to be true,” Taeyong says as he shakes his head in disbelief. “I thought that there was no way that the girl I’ve been dreaming about for 6 years just so happens to own the coffee shop across the street.” He raises your hands to his lip to kiss the back of yours and you feel so happy that it feels like you’re practically vibrating in your seat.

You’re about to respond when you hear Johnny call out, “Hey lovebirds, keep it PG! There are kids in here!” The two of you turn your heads towards the direction of his voice to find not only Johnny behind the counter but also Kun and Hyuck standing there.

“Did you forget about our plans, Y/N?” Kun calls out teasingly, a smirk on his face as his eyes flicker from your hand in Taeyong’s to your face.

“Oh fuck,” you whisper, head turning to look at Taeyong with wide eyes.

He smiles at you reassuringly, kissing the back of your hand once more before letting go. “I’ll call you later?”

You nod enthusiastically, the two of you exchanging numbers before you stand up. You look up at Taeyong, not yet wanting to leave his presence. You can feel the warmth radiating off of his body and there’s a familiar pull in your stomach and this time, you allow yourself to indulge in it. He leans down just as you lean up, and as cliche as it is, it really does feel like you’re the only two there when you kiss. Taeyong tugs one of the flowers from your grasp and breaks off part of the stem, tucking the forget-me-not behind your ear and rubbing your cheek with his thumb before pressing one more kiss to your forehead and murmuring a “see you tomorrow” against your skin.

Waking up the next morning, you let yourself indulge in thoughts of yesterday, the events leading up to the kiss replaying in your head and making butterflies erupt in your stomach all over again. You and Taeyong had agreed to go on your first date today after work and you wish that someone could invent a time machine so you could just skip the work day and go on your date already.

You sit up in bed and feel every ounce of happiness drain out of you, your surroundings unfamiliar to you. The walls are still the same color but the books on your shelf are different, your floor is carpeted, and who the heck are those people you’re with in the pictures on your wall? You even look out the window to find a completely different view. Where the hell are you?

It suddenly hits you that you’re back in the real world—or your reality at least. The past 8 years have basically just been one long dream. You jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom to check to see if there were any visible signs of aging. You let out a sigh of relief when you realize that you still look the exact same and go back to your room to check the date on your phone just to confirm. There’s an envelope with your name on it beside your phone and you feel a sense of déjà vu as you rip it open.

Dear Y/N,

Welcome back! Hopefully you’re not too disoriented after returning to our reality but I wrote this letter just in case. It’s only been a day since we first met so don’t worry, everything in your old life is still the same as it was. It’ll take a few days for memories from your life here to resurface so just take it easy for now. You should still have your memories from your alternate universe and your soulmate should have them too, so all you have to do is find them! I know this sounds hard but don’t worry; as I’m sure you already know, the universe works in mysterious ways~

See you soon, Cyan xoxo

You let yourself plop back down onto your bed, giving yourself a few minutes to process everything before taking a deep breath. Taeyong. You have to find Taeyong. Getting out of bed, you decide you get dressed and get ready for the day, a memory of your friend Yuna telling you about the new cafe across town resurfacing, so you decide to go there. You feel too cooped up in your apartment, you need to do something.

Passing by the window of the cafe, you can’t believe your eyes when you see Cyan sitting at one of the tables. She smiles at you through the window while lifting a mug in greeting and you rush to enter the coffee shop, your hands shaking at your side as you approach her. “Good to see you, Y/N,” she greets you, standing up just as you sit opposite her. You’re about to stand as well before she gently pushes you back down with a hand on your shoulder. “These are for you,” she says as she hands you a small bouquet of pink forget-me-nots. You look down at the flowers, memories of the past 8 years (yesterday?) overwhelming you but you shake it off and look up, only to find Cyan gone. You look around frantically but it’s like she disappeared, completely vanished in thin air as you look around the coffee shop and even out the window. With a huff, you put the flowers on the table and settle your chin on your hand as you wonder what to do next.

“Are you finished with this?” an employee asks you as they point at Cyan’s empty coffee mug.

You look up, about to answer, when your breath catches in your throat, your eyes meeting very familiar brown ones that widen at the same exact time as yours. Before you stands Taeyong, a brown apron with the words “Wake Up Cafe” embroidered on it in gold tied around his waist. Standing up, you reach out to grab one of the flowers and break off part of the stem before slowly reaching out and tucking it behind his ear. His hair is different, a little longer and a dark grey color with bits of silver rather than the light brown that you’re used to, but you see the rose-shaped scar beside his shining eyes and you feel like you could cry. Taeyong’s hands cup your face and his thumbs come up to brush away tears that you didn’t even notice, the distance between your lips and his slowly decreasing.

His lips brush over yours and his eyes flicker back and forth between your eyes and your lips. “Found you.”

You chuckle at his words and close the distance, and you wonder if springtime feels just as good for the blooming flowers as the love that you can feel blooming in your chest when you kiss Taeyong.

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alexseanchai · 3 years

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20 Questions: Writer’s Edition

I was tagged by @2manyfandoms2count and I think also someone else? I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

820; just on my active pseud, 275

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

682,526

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

nope, hit my dashboard and count for yourself

that I’ve written more than ten works for? Sailor Moon, Harry Potter, Supernatural, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, Chronicles of Narnia, Greek mythology, and Miraculous Ladybug (in approximately that chronological order)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1) “you're full of something (but it ain't love—right?)”

2) “go on and sound your horns (go on, release the hounds)”

3) “keeps you guessing (like any real love)” with @galahadwilder

4) “Know Your Name”

5) “ménage à, uh, quatre? this isn't adding up…”

*stares at those kudos counts* how. how did I get to where, if I get 35 more kudos on that fifth work, my top five works will all have over 2000 kudos? how

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

when I have brain for a response that’s got more to say than “Glad you enjoyed!”, I do

...usually I do not have this thing

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

bearing in mind that I have no particular memory of almost anything I’ve written outside Miraculous Ladybug: it might be “Quis Custōdiet Ipsōs Custōdēs?”, I have definitely heard about more people crying over “Quis Custodiet”, but I think it’s actually “indelible memory”. in “Quis Custodiet”, after all, Ladybug and Chat Noir are together, having ended the threat of Hawkmoth. in “indelible memory”, Hawkmoth won and Marinette’s going to torture herself for the rest of her life.

7. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

...I’m gonna open this one to the audience, because I really truly don’t know.

8. Do you write crossovers? If yes, what’s the craziest thing you’ve written?

sort of? I really wish I could figure out how to write the rest of the idea that became “Smudged Cartouche”. a lot of my problem is, “The Pharaoh” is a mid-S1 episode at the latest. so if I’m dropping a post-Dark Side of Dimensions Atem into that episode, Ladybug and Chat Noir know next to nothing about where their Miraculouses came from. and if Atem then uses his obviously-Duel-Monsters-themed akuma powers to contact/kidnap/something Yuugi-tachi, that makes Ladybug and Chat Noir by far the least informed and least experienced players on the board.

9. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No comment.

10. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I tryyyy. I fail.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. If anyone knows differently, please tell me.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I think so? I know I have had people ask to translate, but I have not kept up.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

yup!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

judging by words written, love square

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

*makes sad faces at WIP list*

16. What’s your writing strengths?

poetry

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

a lot of “but it’s in my head, why won’t it go on the screen” plus some “outlines??” and a side of “how does one write kissing/smut that actually feels right”

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

linkable footnotes. *nods*

(I used to do hover text but mobile users can’t access that and I don’t think screenreader users can either)

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon!

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

uhhhhhhhhhh

where the firelight fades, I guess? I leveled up so much as a writer in the process of working on this

#tag game #miraculous ladybug #yu gi oh duel monsters

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honeypirate · 3 years

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Haikyuu? Part two

Pairing: still not set. Probably won’t be for a bit. Tanaka fluff tho. To be honest I’m not that great as writing him so this was supposed to push myself with practice.

Master list

A/n: I linked what I think the outfit would look like minus the shoes part.

You step out of the gym with the rest of the boys, Daichi locking the door behind you all, you take a few steps down the familiar sidewalk and look around at the school. ‘It’s a lot bigger in person’ you think, ‘this is absolutely crazy. I feel insane. How is this real? I wonder if I’ll ever get home or if I’ll be stuck here. Maybe I’m a character on the show now. Maybe this is just a dream’ you’re so caught up in your own thoughts as you look around, taking in all the details of the school, that you don’t hear Asahi calling your name until he softly touches your elbow “y/n?” He asks, his voice familiar and sending tingles throughout your body as he said your name. ‘I’m never going to get used to this’

“Yes? Sorry I spaced out for a minute” you laugh awkwardly and smile up at the tall boy, “we’re going now” he says and gestures over his shoulder with his thumb at the rest of the team a little ways away, waiting for you. You wave “sorry guys” you say and start to walk over to them with Asahi.

You walk down the road with the team, looking at the buildings you pass and everything you can see in the dark, not really paying attention to the conversation anymore. You were confused and in shock still, thrown into a completely new world was the biggest culture shock you’ve ever had and to top it off it was a world you didn’t even think really existed. You shiver from the cold night air, the skin on your arms and neck erupting in goose bumps, you hug your body to try and conserve body heat until you get to Tanaka’s house. As you look down at yourself you realize that you’ll have to do something about clothes. All you have is what is on your body right now, black skinny jeans, a white tee shirt, fluffy forest green socks, and Birkenstock’s. You frown and furrow your brows, not noticing Daichi fall behind the group to walk next to you.

“Are you cold?” He asks softly and when you lift your head to look at him he’s wearing such a soft expression that chased all your fears away “a little” you smile up at him “but don’t worry about me. I’ll be okay” he laughs “y/n. You seem like an extremely strong person but anyone would be upset and in shock if this happened to them, so, at least while you’re here, let us look after you” he smiles with his eyes closed and holds out a black hoodie. “Here. You can have this” you take it from his hands and smile “thank you Daichi. You’re everything I thought you’d be and more” you say and stop to slip on his hoodie, the scent of sandalwood and clean laundry filling your nose as your body thanks you for the added warmth. when you look up at him again, he’s stopped by you and is looking at you with blushing cheeks. “there we go” he says and pushes the hood off your head, smoothing down your hair. You blush while looking into his deep brown eyes, you heart beat racing, his hands still on your shoulders “Y/N!” Tanaka yells and Daichi drops his hands, “we’re going this way!” you chuckle “okay!” you call back and hear the warm sound of Daichi’s soft laughter beside you as you catch back up to the group

Before everyone starts to separate you think of a question to ask “hey guys?” They stop and turn to look at you “what’s up y/n?” Asahi asks “So tomorrow, you guys have early practice and then school and more practice. And uhh what should I do during that time?” You fidget with your fingers as you talk, anxiety bubbling in your chest.

“I don think it will ever feel normal that she knows everything about us.” Tsuki says and you frown, you didn’t mean for this and you already felt guilty for knowing so much about them when they hardly knew you at all, save for about a days worth of facts. “I don’t know everything and if you want I’ll tell you the truth to anything you could ask” you quip back and sigh “ I’m sure we will all take you up on that at some pint or other.” Asahi says and they turns to Daichi “Could she come to our classes with one of us? Like a spectator for a day?” he places his hand on his chin “maybe, that’s a good idea, how about she comes to morning practice with us, I’m sure she can help out with a few things there and then I’ll talk to Takeda about it, if it’s possible then we’ll do that.” He looks at you then “If it’s not possible then we will spend our free periods with you so you’re not alone and you can eat lunch with us there. At times when none of us can be with you you can take my laptop and hang out in the court doing more research.” You smile and nod “okay. That sounds good” you didn’t have any better ideas and neither did any of the other boys, you just knew you felt a little wary about being alone in this world.

Once it was just you and Tanaka walking to his place you felt the weight of this experience press on you, making you exhausted and making it harder to keep your eyes open. Once to get to his house you smile when you walk it, it was homey and comfortable. You take in every detail as you leave your shoes by the door. Tanaka gives you a tour of the house and you can’t help the happy excited feeling in your heart. As weird as this was it was also really amazing. Your stomach growls in the middle of him showing you Saeko’s room and he pauses looking at you for a few moments before smiling big “how come you didn’t say you were hungry?! I’ll go make you something and you can shower if you want or something” he goes to leave and you grab his hand, stopping him. “Tanaka wait” he turns back to look at you with a goofy smile as he squeezes your hand “yeah y/n?” You smile back at him, unable to stop it because of how cute he was “do you have sweats I can borrow?” You ask and his eyes go wide “oh totally! Sorry I forgot you don’t have any clothes. Come with me” he takes you to his room, holding your hand the whole time until he had to let go to rummage through his dresser.

“Here. You can have these if you want, if you’re here longer than a day you’ll need them. And you can borrow anything from Saeko’s closet tomorrow if you want as well. She’ll understand.” He hands you a stack of clothes, a pair of sweats and two shirts, one plain black and the other the school colors that says ‘Karasuno High’. You smile as you look at them “thank you Tanaka. Everyone’s been so kind to me I’m forever grateful. I haven’t really wrapped my head around this experience yet but I’m glad I’m not alone.” You say softly and he blushes a little “it’s no problem y/n. Now go shower or change and I’ll go make dinner” he says, grabbing your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze before going to the kitchen, leaving you alone for the first time in this world.

You turn on the shower and peel the clothes off your body, folding then and setting them on the counter, you check your phone to see if it had any battery left and it does “I guess having no service means better battery life” you play your shower playlist that you thankfully have downloaded offline and then look your body over in the mirror. you barely recognized yourself in this universe. you sigh and get into the shower, the hot water cascades down your body and helps release the tight muscles in your back. you close your eyes and try to breath but the familiar feeling in your throat when you feel like you're going to cry won’t seem to dissipate. You’re so incredibly overwhelmed with the weight of your situation you can’t seem to get a hold of yourself. The scared tears that flow from your eyes wont seem to cease so you try t go through a typical shower for you, as you shampoo your hair you were glad for the sounds of the water, loudly hitting the shower floor with each pass of your hands through your hair, for drowning out the sounds of your sobs, you’re so scared and worried you’ll never be able to go home. You’ve found nothing after hours of research and nothing like this has ever happened before. You finish your shower by using an amazing body wash that smelt like lavender, the smell making you relax and calm down. ‘Maybe..’ you thought as you wrapped yourself in a towel ‘maybe this is like Narnia, I’ll go home and it’ll be five minutes of time that passed’. You dry off and then wrap the towel around your head, deciding to wear the plain shirt to bed and slipped it on as well as the sweats before towel drying your hair some more and hanging it up. You stash your clothes inside Saeko’s room by the door before going to find Tanaka.

“Tanaka?” You call out as you walk down the hallway, forgetting which door was the kitchen, he pops his head out the door on the right with a smile on his face “in here y/n” he says before disappearing. You smile, your heart rate quickening as you make your way into the kitchen. “Should I be quiet? Where are your parents?” He shrugs “they work a lot and don’t come home until late and aren’t usually awake in the morning when I leave. I texted my mom about you though and she doesn’t mind you staying over” you run your fingers through your damp hair and say “okay. Good to know” you’re standing in the doorway, a little awkward as you watch him finish cooking something on the stove, something that smells amazing you might add. “You can sit” he says and you hear the amused smile in his voice “it’s almost done and then we can eat and talk some more” you blush a little and then make your way over to the table and sitting.

When he brings you a plate of you food, you take a bite and you could have cried from the happiness it brought it. “Tanaka this is amazing thank you so much it’s delicious” you can’t help but take a few more quick bites. He chuckles and says “you’re welcome y/n!”

You practically inhale your food as Tanaka just watches, amused with how adorable you looks, eating the food he prepared and wearing his clothes, you were so adorable he hardly even focused on his food. When you were done you looked a little embarrassed and he thought you were even cuter blushing. “I’m sorry I guess I forgot about my manners” you look at your clean plate and use a napkin to wipe your mouth. “Let me repay you by doing the dishes!” You say and go to stand but he stops you “don’t worry about it. Really. You should to sleep and rest. You’ve been through a lot” you try to argue but he just gets louder with his insisting so you end up giving it with a laugh. “Okay okay. Thank you so much Tanaka I really appreciate everything you and the team have done for me” he blushes a little and scratches his neck “you’re welcome y/n. Sleep well” you stand, giving him a smile before walking out.

You head back to Saeko’s room and pick up the hoodie Daichi gave you, slipping it on before lay down in bed, which was surprisingly comfortable for how hard it was. You heard the sounds of dishes and Tanaka moving around and even though you were tired you just couldn’t sleep. You felt too alone and too out of place. When you heard Tanaka coming you got up from the bed and made you way over to the door, opening it just as he past it “Tanaka?” You say quietly, a little embarrassed about what you want to ask him, your eyebrows furrowed and you chewed your lip as he turned around, his eyebrows raised and a small smile as he tilted his head, “y/n?” He says just as quiet as you. You debate just saying never mind and going back to bed but you don’t, you’ve been taught to ask for what you want and what’s the worst? He’d say no. You look from your hands up into his eyes, he looks a little worried but waits for you to speak. You can’t seem to get the words to come out of your throat so you just close the distance between you both and carefully wrap your arms around his waist and gently place your head against his chest. He waits a moment in shock before he wraps his arms around you and holds you with just the right amount of pressure, you can feel your anxiety draining away. He holds you to his chest and slowly rubs circles across your back, waiting until you were ready, he feels your breathing even out as you calm down and when you pull away he notices your tired, tear stained, and bloodshot eyes. “Thank you Tanaka.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, he nods “I understand. I’m here if you ever need another hug” his ruffles your hair softly, like a big brother would, before smiling and walking you back to the door of Saeko’s room. “Try and get some sleep y/n. I’ll wake you up in the morning” you nod and blush, going back to bed without saying anything else.

#haikyuu!!#tanaka haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #hq x you #haikyuu x reader #tanaka x reader #hq x reader #tanaka fluff #daichi fluff #haikyuu fluff #hq daichi #hq asahi

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padfootagain · 4 years

Text

The King And You (XI)

Part 11: What To Do Now?

Here comes the next chapter for my Caspian fic. After the last chapter, I felt like I had to update this story again, because we left our lovebirds… hmm hmm, well, you know where we left them, and it was cute af!!

I hope you like this new chapter. This is a bit… emotional, so get ready! Took a bit of inspiration from the Korean show Crash Landing on you for the end of this chapter.

Word Count: 4358

It had been hours, and Caspian could still not believe it.

He stared at the ceiling in his room, his eyes barely discerning any detail in the dark. The lamppost outside shed a yellowish light in the room, piercing through the white curtains, that made almost no effect on chasing the dark away.

You had kissed him.

Or… perhaps he had kissed you? He wasn't sure who it was who actually made the first step, it had no real importance, he reckoned. All that mattered was that… the two of you had kissed.

He played for what seemed to be the thousandth time the scene in his head. The lights on the rooftop, the music, how you danced together… he smiled at the thought of how clumsy you were at first.

But then he saw your joined hands again, and how the lights played in your eyes and…

And then the kiss…

By Aslan's name, he didn't know that something so wonderful could exist.

What was to happen now though?

You had barely ended the kiss, had just a few seconds to stare at each other, before a pair of drunk men would burst out of the building and onto the rooftop. You had gone home soon after, and none of you had dared raise the question that was on your tongues.

What to do now?

He closed his eyes, tighter and tighter as the thoughts formed in his mind.

He had to go. What now? He thought the question as if there were several answers possible. But there weren't. There was only one thing to do, because no matter how he felt, no matter how you felt, he was King. A vow he had taken and would never break. He repeated the pledge in his silence, his lips moving to let out no sound.

He would do anything for his people, sacrifice whatever needed to be sacrificed.

He had to go back to Narnia and leave you behind.

When he opened his eyes again, there were tiny white spots dancing before him.

What to do now?

Now, he had to let you go, before things could get worse.

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One last day.

That was what he had decided. He would spend one last day with you, and never see you again. He couldn't take the risk of hurting you by letting you imagine that he could stay. He knew, despite your interest for his stories, that deep down, you still didn't fully believe that Narnia was real. How could you see then that when he would cross the door back to his realm, it would be to never return.

Before, he thought he would take every moment he could with you. Cherish them to live the rest of his life. But things had changed with that kiss, and he couldn't take the risk to have you feeling for him the kind of feelings he had for you.

It wouldn't be fair of him to let you fall like he had fallen. You didn't know how this would end. But he did. He couldn't take the risk.

He would have less memories to carry with him back home, but it was okay. He had kissed you once, that was the best memory he would ever remember.

He spent the rest of the night deciding how to tell you about this. Maybe you would tell him it was a mistake, and he wouldn't have to go through it all, and a part of him longed for this to happen. You had been drinking a little, and even if he didn't believe you were drunk, maybe it was enough to blur your judgement. You would apologize. Tell him it was a mistake and it would be better if you just forgot what had happened, and remained friends. Would he take the risk to see you again then? No, or at least not the way he did now. Only with Agatha. He had but a few days left to spend in New York, so it didn't really matter anyway… or at least, that was the thought he was trying to fool himself at believing into.

His thoughts went on throughout morning too, and Agatha obviously noticed his strange behaviour. He was too quiet, too distant, too sad. After a couple of hours, she couldn't help but ask.

"Caspian, what's wrong with you this morning?"

He shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Now, after all that we are doing together, I reckon you can at least tell me the truth. You owe me that much."

He opened his mouth to try to argue his way out of the conversation, but he couldn't. She was right. He owed it to her.

He heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry, you are right."

"I know I'm right, now, tell me everything."

She sat beside him on the couch, with a cup of warm tea in her hand, eager to hear what could possibly be such an issue in the King's life now.

Caspian took a deep breath, but didn't know how to tell her what had happened between you and him.

"You… you must promise me to not tell anyone," he asked Agatha, who gave him her word without a hesitation.

After another quiet moment, Caspian finally gathered his courage.

"I… Last night, Y/N and I went to her friend's birthday party and… something… happened…"

Agatha's eyes narrowed, but a smile was already creeping up her lips.

"Something? What do you mean? Between… you and Y/N?"

Caspian struggled to swallow, but nodded.

Agatha let out an excited cry.

"What happened? Tell me everything."

But before Caspian's puzzled expression, she calmed down.

"It is not a good thing, Agatha," Caspian clarified. "We are leaving for London in a few days, and if everything goes as planned, I will never come back to this world. We… we can never be together. This kiss was a mistake. It has to be. Because I can't stay here. Sooner or later, I'll have to leave, and there is nothing I can do about it. The doorways are not easy to find, and too much of a risk anyway. I will not come back. I… it's better if we simply… accept it and do not try to… make it more difficult than what it needs to be."

Agatha slowly nodded.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I… I'm going to tell her that this was a mistake, and that we should part now."

"So… you're going to break the poor thing's heart."

"On the contrary, I am protecting her."

"Protecting her? Really?"

"Of course. Before she might… feel… before she starts caring for me."

Agatha shook her head this time.

"My dear… after all the time she has spent with you, and everything she has done for you, don't you think that she cares already?"

"But as a friend, not as… more."

"You should talk about it with her."

"That's what I am planning on doing."

"I mean talk with her, not announce her your decision."

"But Agatha, there is no other solution. Nothing to discuss, really. I have to leave, and we will never see each other again."

"Have you thought about her possibly wanting to leave?"

But Caspian shook his head frantically, and a colder expression settled on his features.

"Her life is here. She cannot leave. Just like my life is in Narnia, and I cannot stay."

"Are you leaving because your life is there, or because you have people depending on you there?"

"Both."

He seemed to believe in his answer, and so she chose to change her argument.

"You cannot take a decision in her stead."

"I am taking my end of the decision."

"But for the wrong reason. Maybe, even though you will leave, she would prefer to spend as much time with you as she can. Have you thought about that?"

Caspian didn't answer.

"Of course, you have. Are you sure who you are doing this for? Is it to protect her, or yourself?"

"Both of us, I guess. It'll be easier when I leave."

"The easy path is rarely the right one. You're probably right, it might give both of you less pain to part if you choose to stop everything now. But what about the happiness you would have found by embracing every single moment you could get? What about these memories you will get to hold onto? Take it from an old lady, who has her fair share of regrets. All the moments I would change, if I could, wouldn't be about money, about choosing another path. It would be to spend more time with the people I can't see anymore. These are my regrets. Not seizing the occasion to love them more. To spend more time with the people who made me happy. And you will find out that, after a while, when you lose someone you love dearly, you remember the good times more than the pain, and these make it all worthwhile. Always."

The King took a moment to weight Agatha's words. He looked in his heart to see if she was right. He thought about the Pevensies. About all the friends he had lost along the years.

First, he remembered their faces, and their laughs.

Then, he remembered the good moments. The Pevensies bickering. Edmund beating him at chess. Peter and him talking about Narnia. Susan showing off her skills at archery. Lucy running on the beach and laughing. Eustace's stupid talks with Reepicheep…

Indeed, he had to go much, much deeper to see the bad times. And if he felt sad at the thought that he would not see them again, he found out that he wouldn't have done anything differently. His memories were worth the pain of missing them.

Maybe Agatha was right…

"It's not only your choice to make. She has her say in this too. And you can't decide for her. You don't know how she feels. Or has she told you?"

Caspian shook his head.

"Then ask her. Ask her what she wants. Tell her the risks. Tell her how it will end. And if she still wants to stay by your side until you have to leave, then you have no rights to dismiss her."

"What if I don't want to have her by my side until this is over?"

But Agatha gave her a look that showed him that she was not to be fooled.

"We both know that it is not what your heart longs for. You wouldn’t be sitting on this couch looking so miserable if it were."

Agatha got up to put her teacup in the kitchen, and Caspian focused on the outside world instead. It was raining, and the water clung to the windowsill.

But Caspian shook his head. No, it wasn't the wisest thing to do. He had… he had to protect you, whatever the cost. He would not let you get heartbroken because of him. He would not let you ache the way he did. He would not let you suffer the way he knew he would when he would leave.

No, he had to stop it all. And he had to do it today.

He would spend one afternoon with you, and then it would be time for him to wake up from the sweet dream he had made for the two of you.

-------------------------------------------------------------

You went to Central Park again, and simply walked through the park. The weather was cold but sunny, blue sky above orange leaves and bare branches replacing the clouds of the morning. There were so many skeleton leaves all around that some of the ponds seemed to have disappeared altogether, hidden under the dead foliage.

Children were feeding ducks a few meters away, you were walking in silence down the main path, the rain from the morning having turned the grass into muddy grounds.

You had tried to delay the inevitable question for as long as you could, but knew you needed to bring it up now. Caspian hadn't mentioned your kiss either, maybe he was waiting for you just like you were waiting for him. But there was something different about him too. Something… that made him look sad.

A part of you wanted to wait to see if he would eventually bring it up, but you decided that the game had lasted long enough.

"Caspian?"

He turned to you, humming to let you know that he was paying attention to your words.

"About last night…"

You studied his reaction, but you couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

"About… what happened on the rooftop…" you went on. "I… I reckon we should talk about it."

Caspian slowly nodded, his steps slowing down without him noticing.

"Of course. I… I do think we should talk about it as well."

You struggled to swallow the lump in your throat. He was acting strangely cautious and cold. But maybe it was simply because he wasn't sure of what you were about to say. A simple defence mechanism?

"I… what do you think we should do about it?"

He had to say it. He had spent the night and most of his morning thinking about what he had to say, and it was the right thing to do.

"I think we should forget about it."

Caspian's voice was firm and certain, a perfect opposite to the way his heart was breaking behind the protection of his ribcage, words reaching the beating organ like flights of arrows breaking through an armour.

He noticed the way you clenched your jaw, how your head bent a little more towards the ground.

"Okay," was all you could muster the strength to breath out.

"I am but a passing dream, Y/N. Soon, I'll be gone. It's better to remain friends. Don't you agree?"

You nodded.

"Wise words," you replied in a bitter tone.

"Last night was… surreal," Caspian went on, feeling the need to fill up any silence that could settle between the two of you. Silence would let his pain scream way too loudly for him to handle, so he chased it away instead. "The music, and the dance… we got carried away by the scenery. And… you were intoxicated…"

"I had one drink, I wasn't even tipsy," you replied with some outrage in your tone, looking up at him again. "Besides, if I remember well, you were kissing me just as much as I was kissing you!"

"That… is not what I meant…"

"What do you mean, then?"

"Simply that… last night was… a particular atmosphere. And that on other circumstances, things would have been different, and this kiss wouldn't have happened. Do you deny that? That you would have never wanted to kiss me in any other circumstances?"

"I don't deny that last night was… a moment. Doesn't mean that I didn't know what I was doing."

"Y/N… You wouldn't have acted this way under any other circumstances."

"What about you?"

He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you say that if I had not been… shaken by my surroundings last night, I would have never wanted to kiss you. But what about you? Would you ever want me to kiss me without the dancing and the music and the lights from last night? Or are you talking about yourself not wanting me? Because I reckon that you talk a lot about how I feel and how I would act when, last time I checked, you had no access to my thoughts at all. So? What about you?"

If he were to be honest, he would have answered that the scenery had simply given the push to actually take the first step. He would have told you that he was dreaming about you every night. He would have told you that he wished he could kiss you now. He would have told you that he had stayed awake at night imagining what your lips would feel like against his.

But if he said these words he meant, it would make things more difficult. And he knew what he had to do. It was easier to lie. Easier to pretend that last night was nothing when it meant everything. He had promised you to tell you the truth once, and it was not one of his habits to break a vow, but this time, he would have to make an exception.

Because he couldn't let you hurt the way he was getting shattered now.

"It's just a dream, Y/N. It was a mistake. We are just friends, nothing more. And if yesterday was a moment… then that is all it was. A moment. And the moment passed. Reality is thriving again, and in reality, this kiss was a mistake we ought to make only once."

He fell silent. He felt exhausted. He knew that the second he would be alone, he would fall to his knees and cry all the tears his body could form. But he wasn't alone for now, you were standing there, motionless by his side, staring at him, and he had to keep his mask on for now.

And he did.

He looked calm and cold and distant, and it was hurting you so much…

Because after the previous night, there was no doubt left in your mind.

You were in love with him.

You always had been. And maybe that was why you couldn't stay away for long despite all the warning signs. Maybe that was why he made you happier than you had ever been. Maybe that was why your world was brighter now that he was in it.

But clearly, he didn't feel the same, and if you had thought before that your heart had been broken, it seemed that he was proving you wrong.

You wanted to fight back. Say something mean. Something that would hurt. Or perhaps you could agree. Hide that you were in pain. Hide that he was breaking your heart. Instead, you could nod and tell him that he was right, that this kiss didn't mean anything to you either anyway, that you didn't care, that you ought to move on indeed. You would be just friends, and that would be all. You didn't care. Would never care for him that way.

But there were lies too big to pass your throat, and this one was, without a doubt, the biggest lie you had ever wished to speak. And you couldn't say it.

Instead, tears blurred Caspian's features stinging and sour, and you looked away to hide them.

You tried to speak, but couldn't. You managed to force your head to move into a nod, and that was about all that you could muster for now. You wanted to run away, so you started to walk again.

And Caspian didn't understand.

Because of course, he saw that you were starting to cry. And he couldn't understand, because you weren't supposed to be crying. Maybe you would be a little disappointed? Even that reaction, he wasn't expecting. No, it was all going wrong. Why were you leaving now?

He didn't mean to hurt you. He never did. He was protecting you, that was what he was doing… right?

He thought again of Agatha's words, and maybe… maybe she was right…

"Y/N!"

But you didn't stop, you kept on walking, going faster even.

"Y/N, wait!"

He ran after you, taking your arm in a gentle and yet firm hold to force you to turn to him.

When he saw the tears rolling down your cheeks, all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

He was hurting you. You were crying because of him… That was not what he wanted.

"I… don't cry," he let out in a trembling voice, all piece of armour or masquerade broken, and when you looked up to look into his dark brown eyes, you could see nothing but worry and pain in these irises you adored. "Don't cry, please. I'm sorry. Don't be sad. I… I don't want you to be sad, I'm sorry."

You shook your head. You wanted to be strong, and stubborn, and proud, and you wanted to get a clever remark out. But you were crying already, revealing your heart on a silver platter, so what was the point in playing it tough when you were one the verge of breaking altogether?

"It's okay. I just… I guess I just hoped for you to feel… a certain way, and you don't. But that's okay. I can't force you to feel like that."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's okay."

"No, no it's not okay. Please, I'm begging you, stop crying."

His large, calloused hands came to gently cup your face, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. His touch was so soothing, you soon calmed down.

"I'll be fine, Caspian."

But he wasn't blind. It was written all over your features that you would not be fine. The damage was already done. He had made you suffer, and he hated himself for that.

Agatha's words came ringing in his ears once more, and maybe she was right. Maybe you cared about him already. He couldn't imagine that you loved him the way he loved you, but maybe you cared enough to be hurt by him all the same. Perhaps Agatha was right, and it wasn't fair of him to not give you the chance to choose what you wanted to do next.

If he could, he would seize all the moments he had the chance to share with you. And maybe you would want to do the same, after all.

That wasn't fair to lie then, was it? Besides, you were crying again, eyes reddened and puffy already, and by Aslan's name, Caspian had never hated himself as much as he did now, for being the cause behind your tears.

"I lied."

He struggled to swallow while your eyes were suddenly full of hope. He didn't notice that his eyes too were filling up with tears before he felt them wetting his eyelashes.

"I… I'm sorry," he went on, voice unsure and low. "But… I'll be leaving soon, and I thought… I thought you didn't mean it, and then it would have been so much easier to just act like it had never happened. I didn't want you to care about me the way I care about you. Because it… it hurts then to know that I'm going to leave. It hurts to know that this won't last, and I thought… I thought I could save you from that pain, and I… I'm sorry. Please, don't cry. Don't cry. I can't see you cry. I wanted to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you so badly…"

His voice broke, and he let out a shaky sigh, trying to muster the strength to go on. But speaking his heart was so hard. He felt so fragile now. As if he were handing you his soul and heart… but then, that was exactly what he was doing.

"I'm sorry. I… I wish there would be another way, but there isn't. I have to leave. And I didn't want you to miss me the way that I'm going to miss you. I wanted you to forget all about me as soon as I would be out of your life. I don’t want you to think about me. I don't want you to miss me. I… I want you to be able to do what I won't be capable of. I want you to live without me and be happy. When I… I won't be able to do that now. It's too late for me. I won't forget you. I will never forget you. And when I think about what happiness means, it is your name I will speak. I… I shouldn't have said all that… I'm sorry… I'm sorry, please, don't cry. Don't cry…"

Before he could let out another sound, you were leaning to press your lips to his. And he was surprised, and it took him a few seconds to kiss you back, but he did. He let his fingers slide to rest in your hair, and you held on his long black coat like it was a safe line.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and resting your forehead against his, your voice was hoarse as you spoke again.

"I think it's too late for me too, to be fair. And what if… what if I really don't want to forget you? What if I don't want to forget anything about you?"

He let out a shaky breath, and closed his eyes tighter to stop himself from crying.

"I have to leave. This can't work."

"But for now, you're here. Can't it be enough for now?"

"I don't want you to be hurt because of me."

"I'm going to England with you."

He finally moved his head back to look at you.

"What?"

"I'm going with you," you repeated. "Agatha has already bought the tickets and planned everything for me to come as well. I'll go with you there."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. For now, I want to be with you, and that's enough for me. What do you want?"

He didn't answer, hesitating.

What he wanted more than anything, he knew he could never keep…

"Forget about Narnia for a second. Because you're not in Narnia right now. Just… what do you want, now? Because I want to go to London with you. I know what I want. I understand what you're saying. I understand you're going to leave. And I want to help, I want to stay with you, for as long as you'll be here. What about you? Don't you want me to stay with you?"

And as he looked into your eyes, he knew then, that Agatha was right.

It was your life, your heart, your choice. And maybe it would just make things worth to lie now. So, he didn't.

Instead, he pressed his lips to yours again, and you remained there, under falling red leaves, for an awfully long time that seemed too short still.

*****************************************

@geeksareunique @giggleberts @sad-orange-thoughts @aylinnmaslow @benbarnes-world @ladyblablabla @drinix @joelynnp @wearetalkingtoyou @mxrihollxnd @rockintensse @cutie-bug @purplocity @rockintensse @newtstarmander @shinebrightlikeafanbase

@millionsleeplessnights @goldenor5 @raquelbc2003 @marvelcapsicle @carolinesbookworld @roses-in-your-country-house @mcrmarvelloki

#Caspian #Caspian X #caspian x reader #caspian fanfic #caspian imagine #King Caspian #narnia #narnia fanfiction #narnia imagine #writing #fanfiction #fanfic #imagine

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 269: LAID HIM OUT LIKE A BROCHURE

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor, Mic, and Aizawa finally caught up with Crust and Miruko after 19 years to help deal with the High End Noumus. Aizawa used his quirk on them, but Girl Noumu was able to get away and shoot acid at them all, and that one bone-tentacle-y Noumu was also able to attack Mirko with his quirk. Speaking of Mirko, she spent most of the chapter kicking away at Tomura’s Noumutank like those guys with the battering ram in Beauty and the Beast. Or maybe just kicking it one time very, very slowly while we cut back and forth from the scene. It was hard to tell. But either way, she didn’t quite manage to shatter it and instead just left it all cracked and leaking. Anyway so everyone keeps saying that if Tomura escapes that would be Very Bad, and I’m inclined to agree, especially since Aizawa and Mic are looking all serious and vengeful, and I’m really going to need them to not die, ever.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor helpfully and terrifyingly cauterizes Mirko’s wounds while Aizawa holds off the Noumu with his quirk and buys time for Mic to go after Ujiko and Tomura. Mic and our new optician friend Exress race down the corridor and Mic immediately uses his quirk to shatter Noumuraki’s tank, which is the fastest and most efficient action we have seen in this entire arc so far. Mic then CORDIALLY INTRODUCES UJIKO’S FACE TO HIS FIST, which caused me to have an awakening, but unfortunately the same can’t be said for Tomura, who’s now lying on the ground very much not awake and seemingly dead. So I guess that’s it, guys. Looks like Dabi is the main villain now. Good for you Dabi, those are some pretty big britches to fill. No that wasn’t a crack about your height. God you’re sensitive. And so now we get to wait another two weeks! You know what, let’s just focus on the part where Ujiko got flattened like a paper bag.

so this is the chapter that was originally scheduled to be released on Kacchan’s birthday, but what are the odds he’s not even in it. how do you all think the traffic light trio is doing. this has been the world’s longest evacuation. or do you think they already finished a long time ago and are just hanging out now and being all “can’t wait to hear back from everyone else, I’m sure they’re all fine and dandy.” which would be funny, you see, because everyone else actually isn’t fine and dandy at all! do you get it. ahaha jokes

anyway so this chapter is titled “the three of us”, so I’m guessing there’s more Aizawa/Mic/Shirakumo angst on the horizon! so you’re just going to keep on assaulting my battered heart then, Horikoshi. cool. coolcoolcoolcoolcool

HEY NOW

HORIKOSHI WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. I WILL LAUNCH YOU INTO SPACE

fffff -- okay well whatever!! it’s a manga!! she’ll be fine! they have manga science! Recovery Girl can heal her legs and her side and everything else, and get her a nice new robot arm, and she’ll have a cool scar on her ear. happy thoughts happy thoughts

FFDFSF

IS HE TALKING TO ME OR HER. I FEEL LIKE HE’S TALKING TO ME. don’t worry Endeavor I will look away for this part

lol excuse me what now

5 minutes?? by whose reckoning, exactly?? jesus christ. I bet if he turned his flames off we’d learn that he has grown a whole new actual beard. Endeavor. civilizations have risen and fallen. okay you know what, new theory, Ujiko’s basement lair is somehow running on Narnia time

OH MY FEELS HE SAYS HE OWES HER A DEBT AFTER KYUSHU. referring of course to when she showed up out of the blue to save his ass from Dabi. anyways though how nice of him to express his gratitude by setting all of her wounds on fire

I guess we can stand down from red alert now though since Mirko is clearly going to be just fine

somehow she has more calm while getting her horrific injuries cauterized than I do when trying to decide whether or not to sell electronic turnips in a video game

wuh oh

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE’S A BARREL OF LAUGHS. actually no that’s a lie, you definitely would have had and did have more fun while fighting Mirko

also, this angle of Endeavor’s face, though

AWAKE! AVAST!! HOLD TIGHT YOUR BUNS! IF BUNS YOU DO HOLD DEAR

god damn it as per usual I have no idea what is going on in action panels even when I stare at them intensely for a full minute or more

I don’t even remember how many Noumus are left at this point now. who’s that sunfish-looking one on the right near Mic?? is he a new one?? is that Crust jumping around in the middle, or is he the one standing near the sunfish Noumu? who is it that’s firing that laser or whatnot in the middle?? did this big Noumu in the foreground on the left just get decapitated??

honestly it seems like they almost have things under control at long last. Aizawa and Mic should just head after Ujiko is already and leave the rest of them to it

so Mirko is now giving them all the details about Tomura and how he’s currently chilling out floating in his sensory deprivation tank

and she’s all DON’T LET SHIGARAKI WAKE UP as if she wasn’t the one trying to smash the capsule open in the previous chapter?? or did she assume he would just sleep through all that lol

also the High Ends have apparently still not completely woken up themselves yet. guess we should be grateful

WELL HELLO

if Aizawa Shouta ever cuts his hair I will declare a national day of mourning

anyways though, reinforcements! about fucking time

did anyone else immediately blink right after reading that last sentence, and then feel a profound gratitude for being able to blink freely at will. holy shit. blinking is so great

what happens if he has to sneeze?? oh my god. and what the fuck why is this a one-man show anyway, where the hell is your husband

okay there he is

“I’m here, too,” says Vision Hero: Exress. and so he is. so what kind of quirk do you have, then, x-ray vision? really hope not, no offense. just don’t see how that would exactly be useful right now. or maybe it’s laser vision, in which case yeah okay we can work with that. you heard the man, go on ahead then

this motherfucker is still alive?!

I really cannot express enough just how steep of a cliff Endeavor has fallen off of in this arc. he has not done a single useful thing aside from the cauterizing. so now it’s up to Eyeballs Hero: Sees Real Good to hopefully somehow oneshot this guy whom the number one hero barely managed to scratch

OH MY GOD AN ACTUAL PLOT TWIST

CRUST ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. took me a minute to realize he was shouting “go” in that speech bubble, as opposed to randomly screeching out his age, 60

Mic and Aizawa are so hot but I’m feeling such impending doom right now

-- oh no. oh fuck. I just realized -- why are they splitting them up?? sir that’s his emotional support hero

ffff for reals though I feel like Mic doesn’t have the same plot protection as Shouta. and I also feel like this is a very stupid decision in general, and that the guy who can cancel out quirks should be included in the group of people rushing in to capture the scary big bad whose quirk is an insta-kill. but what do I know, I’m just a regular person who didn’t go to hero school and get their hero MBA so MAYBE I’M WRONG. but am I

oh shit oh shit oh shit

not really clear on what Mic is doing here since he should in theory just be running like a normal person, but I can’t complain much about the dynamic pose. and meanwhile Ujiko has finally snapped to the fact that he should have woken Tomura up a good half hour ago!

and on top of all that, it sounds like they didn’t destroy all of their supervillain research data either, so if he does manage to escape we could be right back to square one before long. good thing they definitely positively won’t let him escape!!

OH MY GOD THIS SHIT IS FINALLY HAPPENING AHHHHHH

MIC’S VOICE IS SO POWERFUL IT INSTANTLY SHATTERED THE GLASS WHICH EVEN MIRKO’S NOUMU-DECAPITATING RABBIT LEGS COULD NOT BREAK, OH MY BISCUITS, WE STAN AN ICON AND A LEGEND

DID HE MANAGE TO STOP HIM BEFORE HE ACTIVATED THE WAKEUP SEQUENCE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK? IF YES WHAT IS EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN NOW, WILL TOMURA JUST CURL UP IN A LITTLE BALL AND CONTINUE TO SLUMBER PEACEFULLY WITH HIS HAIR ALL WET. HE’LL CATCH A COLD

BUT FOR REAL THOUGH OBVIOUSLY HE IS GOING TO WAKE UP AHHHHHHHH

nghhh everything’s shattering all dramatically and in slow motion

swear to god if this chapter ends with Tomura opening his eyes while we cut to another two week break, I will... ... ...well I guess I’m about to find out though because that’s exactly what’s going to happen isn’t it

(ETA: if you can sleep through Present Mic’s attack you can really sleep through anything huh.)

lol but first

sploosh. down he goes. timber. still a sleepy boi. I take a nap right here

LORD, MIC IS ABOUT TO RIP UJIKO A NEW ONE AND I’VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE?!

CUE HORIKOSHI CUTTING TO SOME MORE FLASHBACKS OF OBORO TO MAKE US ALL SAD. THAT’S RIGHT, I KNOW ALL OF YOUR TRICKS! BRING IT

1) the fuck is he doing, 2) is this the first time we’ve seen Aizawa call Mic by his name??, and 3) WHAT DID I TELL YOU THOUGH

MY HEART IS A STONE! I FEEL NOTHING! YOU CAN’T HURT ME SO GIVE IT UP. please give it up sob

OH NO

UNDONE BY AIZAWA’S SOFT EXPRESSION AND WISTFUL EYES NOOOO I lied I am not a stone at all I am a big squishy marshmallow of feels oh fuck

OH WOW

DON’T EVER LOOK BACK. ON THE WORLD CLOSING IN!! BE ON THE ATTACK. WITH YOUR WIIIIINGS ON THE WIIIND

he straight up ENDED HIS LIFE. holy shit. 4/24/2020. the day I was sexually attracted to Present Mic

anyways now back to your regularly scheduled sad feelings at the reminder of the fact that yep, Ujiko and all of his fucked up experimenting absolutely did make Aizawa cry. not that I’m saying that’s a crime of even greater magnitude than all his other crimes of kidnapping and torture and research using human children. I absolutely am not saying that. just implying it. in a joking manner. semi-joking. partially. kind of

(ETA: also, belated shout out to the fact that his excuse for doing it was so he could verify that it wasn’t another clone. and since it’s Present Mic, there’s a 74% chance he screamed out “CLONE CHECK!” in English too, which, bless.)

I know there’s a particular side of fandom that largely thinks that all heroes are Garbage Scum, but I mean, look at this scene though of Gazerbeam crouching down to gingerly check Tomura’s vitals. idk, I thought this was surprisingly gentle

I should probably be more concerned about that statement, but truth be told, I’m much more anxious about Gazerbeam going the way of his namesake shortly henceforth. please be careful please I know he looks all floppy and wounded and surprisingly vulnerable --

-- okay, very surprisingly vulnerable --

I really do have a thing for the hair covering the eyes huh. I’m learning things about myself!

but still! he could basically just blink at you at this point and you would turn to dust, Gazerbeam. DUST. ASHES. DEBRIS SCATTERED TO THE WINDS

wow apparently that space tube was doing a lot more than I thought

mhmm. sure. Horikoshi. dude, I can see you sitting there shaking with barely suppressed laughter. did you really think this would get us to let our guards down. are we a joke to you. did you think we would just be all “oh gosh I guess he really is dead then, wow, what a twist”

oh!! the reinforcements!!

did you hear that guys. it’s done. the heroes won and Tomura is dead and it’s really over just like that. what a positive ending for everyone. except Tomura I guess

I’ve said before that U.A. needs to add a course about tempting fate to their curriculum, and I stand by that. this is absurd. it’s like y’all want to die

oh look at that Endeavor finally killed one

was that really so hard. could you not have done that earlier

-- GODDAMN IT ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN

“what if... I dragged it out so much that the dragging-out was the cliffhanger?” that’s some galaxy brain you got there dude. let’s just end the chapter on that WHY NOT

anyway. so there you have it guys. just look how dead he is. that’s the smile of someone who is absolutely, certainly, one hundred percent dead. look at him, all at peace. definitely not gonna finally wake up two weeks from now and properly introduce himself to our new friend Gazerbeam and my new we’re-just-trying-something-out-and-taking-it-slow-and-we’ll-see-where-it-goes boyfriend Present Mic!

lol I can’t lie, these last couple chapters have tested my patience a bit! fortunately this chapter had many saving graces in the form of Mirko, Aizawa, Mic, and for reals though Gazerbeam whom I genuinely did grow attached to almost immediately for reasons beyond my grasping. but I’m starting to get an inkling that Horikoshi is just incapable of pacing himself well whenever the story moves to a basement. or maybe I’m just cranky on account of being holed up in lockdown since time immemorial and only getting my new BnHA fix every other week! maybe, that could be it. maybe. ah well. at least Present Mic punched Ujiko in the fucking face

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awfullybigwardrobe44 · 4 years

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Narnia Week, Day 1

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

Prompt questions here!

Favorite character(s) from this book?

This will come as no surprise to you all, but my favorite character in EVERY Narnia book is Aslan <3 I’m gonna sound like a broken record saying that in every one of these posts lol.

After Aslan, Lucy. I love the sense of childlike wonder that you get with LWW seeing things through Lucy’s eyes. Throughout the series, I love her deep connection with Aslan, which begins in this book, and her love for Aslan in general.

Shoutout also to the Beavers. They knew this old prophecy and knew that things in Narnia were changing. They were seeing a prophecy of old unfold before their very eyes. The king of Narnia, who hadn’t been seen in Narnia in at least a hundred years, probably more, had appeared, and was building an army. These 4 kids walk into Narnia, completely bewildered, and the Beavers know that these 4 kids are the future kings and queens of Narnia, destined to be part of the Witch’s defeat.

And what do they do? They basically decide that they are their grandchildren now and adopt them. I’ve always loved the sense of informality, both in the book and movie, between the Beavers and the Pevensies. The Beavers would have KNOWN that these kids are the future rulers of Narnia, and yet they just loved on them and fiercely protected them. <3

If there is a screen adaptation of this book, what do you like most about said adaptation? Does it do the book justice? What would you change?

The Walden LWW movie is an absolute masterpiece. As far as book-to-movie adaptations go, it’s honestly one of the best I’ve ever seen. Not because it follows the book exactly, necessarily (although it does a pretty fantastic job of that), but because it really makes Narnia match just what you saw in your head when you read the books. That was Andrew’s goal in doing this movie--living up to his own childhood imagination of what Narnia was like. He knew that he had to try to top the image of Narnia that kids have when they read the books, and I think he did an absolutely beautiful job bringing that to life. I know Lewis wasn’t big on movies, but I think he’d have been beyond proud of this movie.

The casting is absolutely perfect. The chemistry the Pevensies have as CHILD actors is amazing. Little Georgie was such a precocious little girl that I don’t think they could have cast a better Lucy for this movie, and the way she connected with others--her screen siblings, James McAvoy, etc.--is really incredible. One of my favorite Georgie moments in this movie is the moment Aslan steps out of the tent. Just the look of surprise and joy on her face... acting beyond her years.

The entire atmosphere of this movie is incredible. It literally IS Narnia. One scene I have to talk about in particular is the battle scene. The sound editing. The FOR NARNIA AND FOR ASLAN. The acting. I get chills even thinking about it. It honestly has the feel of a battle scene from a classic movie from years before its time, it’s just so epic and touching and chilling.

And, the music. Harry G-W. I love that man for this soundtrack, and the PC one. He really outdid himself. The battle song is amazing, but I’m partial to “Only the Beginning of the Adventure” (the title of which he very clearly took from that last line of LWW, even though it wasn’t even in the movie. Gold star for him). Years and years later I’m still listening to this soundtrack, and I will be for the rest of my life, I imagine.

The ONLY things I’d have changed about this movie--I wish the Aslan scenes had stayed just a little bit closer to the book. For instance, I love the scene where Lucy and Susan are running around playing with Aslan after the Stone Table. That scene just has this brilliantly sunny, joyous, glorious feeling to it. For those who have read Surprised By Joy, that scene is a “signpost” for me ;) Plus, Aslan comforting Susan with a lion’s kiss when she is afraid he’s a ghost. Just. The Aslan scenes in the movie are great, but the ones in the book will always hold a special place in my heart.

What about this book stands out most in your memory? Are there specific scenes, feelings, themes, or ideas that have stuck with you the most?

Gosh there’s so many scenes that I’m just going to list them. I love the scene of Lucy and Susan running around with Aslan at the Stone Table, as I said above.

The moment when the Pevensies and Beavers greet Aslan for the first time, and Peter is scared to say anything, but then he does, and Aslan’s voice takes the trembling out of them. I was actually just thinking last week about that quote where it says that “if they had ever thought that something couldn’t be good and terrible at the same time, they were cured of it now--” because I think that just holds such important spiritual meaning.

A few of you already know that my favorite quote from LWW is the seagull one. I haven’t told this story before, but I guess I will here (no idea if anyone will even read this far lol). When I read that quote for the first few times, the “Oh, the cry of the seagulls! Have you heard it? Can you remember?” When I read that the first few times, I misinterpreted it. I understand now that Lewis was saying, “have you heard this before in your own life? Can you remember what that sounds like? That’s what it sounded like to them.”

I, however, interpreted that quote as Lewis somehow saying that you, the reader, had been to Narnia before. It felt as if he was suggesting that you had been to Narnia before, and it was just around some corner in your memory, and he was telling you this story to remind you. As if you yourself had been there and witnessed the events of LWW and the coronation of the Pevensies... do you remember? Do you remember the glory of that day? Do you remember Cair Paravel? Do you remember the cry of the seagulls? It’s just around the corner of your memory--you know in your heart you’ve been there before. Do you remember?

It feels a lot like in Dawn Treader when Lucy reads the story in the book and then can’t go back and reread it. And she asks Aslan to tell her the story again, and he responds that he will be telling it to her “forever” or something. In the way I interpreted that quote, it felt like Lewis was saying “you’ve been here before. Oh, do you remember?” And maybe that’s foolish of me for interpreting it that way, but honestly? I like that interpretation better. And to this day, that quote always sends chills down my spine for that reason. It makes it seem as if Narnia is right around the corner somewhere.

Any memories from the first time you read this book?

So LWW is actually the only Narnia book that I have tangible memories of reading. I believe what happened is that my mom gave me the book because we were going to see the movie, and she wanted me to read it first. I believe she was afraid I’d be scared at the Stone Table scene, so she had me read up until that chapter, and then she read it to me so that if I got upset, she was there and we could talk about it and she’d know if I was scared or not. So I very clearly remember sitting in the front room at my old house reading this chapter with my mom. <3 I believe we talked about who Aslan represents that night, and about the significance of the Stone Table scene. I don’t know if that’s the night I found out that Aslan represents Jesus, but it may have been.

If you’ve read this far, thanks for bearing with me xD Happy Narnia Day!

#narnia day #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #the lion the witch and the wardrobe #my writing

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weaselbeaselpants · 4 years

Text

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 2

A bit of lighter fan art to clear the air for a moment.

Here’s art of Crispy taking the shit out of Cynder from Spyro that feels waaay more like she’s channeling her pent up teenage aggression onto this fictional child dragon:

“boohoo goth girl stole mah ice creeeeeam!”

So if you somehow aren’t deterred by the Nazism you should know that she’s always been a raging pissy-brat who uses her big-girl words to put herself above everyone else. She was the kind of die-hard in character fan fic type whose such an asshole about everyone else’s fan fics you don’t care if she’s got some good ideas. She was THAT detestable.

((fyi Derpibooru is the only “safe” place you can view her art now cause it’s the only place where you won’t be giving her views.))

vvv ((Crispy again showing that lovely “ironic” side of her trolling with Trump pony. As anyone with eyes can tell Crispy is a talented cartoonist so it says something that Trump still looks ugly as sin even in her style)) vvv

vvv ((This piece was called “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”)) vvv

((That Disneyesque SS Eagle who appears in her art is her fandom-hopping OC Klaus who she’d fetishize as often as she’d pretend she was his adopted daughter (the white blue eyed cat was her self-insert, who also hopped from fandom to fandom))).

^^^ ((I can’t find this piece in her gallery anymore and she ended up censoring a lot of her author’s comments to keep from being banned from dA. (dwaaayousobwaveCwispy) but I swear up and down that the disc for this one was:

“Fraulein dhat picture ist just white”

“Yah like all of America should be!”

))^^^

^^^ ((This one was called “My Little Holocaust.” I shit you not. It’s still on derpibooru.)) ^^^

^^^ ((G1 styled baby pony who needs to be saved. The original art had swastikas lining the crib.

She also liked to throw her weight around about being a fan of the older MLP and how newer flash always sucked ass compared to the true handdrawn stuff of yore. Even her art preferences reeked of eugenic overtones, which is pretty ironic seeing as I never saw and totally traditional art piece from her. Must have quit when she realized she wasn’t talented enough for that, much like a famous one-testicled chud I know...)) ^^^

^^^ ((One of her most infamous pieces -to me-.

Yes. As Adam from YourMovieSucks points out, there is A LOT of racist shite in Kimba the White Lion and accidental colonialist message to the whole franchise. I am NOT denying that. But, there’s a reason I’m not yukking it up with the rest of Adam’s watchers, and it’s Crispy. Everyone else in the Kimba/memes subbreddit usually means the NaziKimba jokes in good fun and can tell the real value of Kimba. This bitch is all about how white really IS better.

Below is her bitching about the lack of women’s rights in her AltRight circlejerk (ha) and affirming Tezuka wasn’t so liberal eat it libtards! (Tezuka was a product of his time and Japan still has blackface problems no doubt. But I guess by this woman’s logic Dr. Seuss was also a neoNazi cuz he wrote racist shit despite calling himself a liberal democrat))

VVV ((From Reddit. Again you just have to take our words for it but everything this person says is 100% true.)) VVV

VVV ((I’d apologize for shitty quality but it’s also a shitty person so you know what I don’t care.)) VVV

VVV ((What her gallery once looked like. The one of Klaus talking to the black shirt kid had a disc. all about how “all those liberal inclusive schools taught you wrong<3″ Again as an oh-so-funny joke to show off Klaus as a flawed antivillain. )) VVV

((Bad quality art by a bad person made for another bad person’s shitty pony fic))

^^^ ((More G1 supremacy.)) VVV

Self Aware =/= Satire and Rationalizing =/= Caring.

((There are different kinds of Nazis and Holocaust deniers. Not all of them want to kill the people they other, but if that’s your only mark for calling them bad people you have skewed priorities.

What Crispy’s artist comments and messages are very overt in are her ideas on segregation. And she was ohsoVERY proud of how that was real social justice and was actually caring for people who weren’t her ohohoho~

This piece for example had a cheeky disc. about how sweet it was for the Carebears to trust a Nazi rather than us plebian-brats who are just SOOOO INTOLERANT.

I bet Crispy’s also a MAP-apologist and TERF. I know those are pretty extreme accusations to throw around but she’s gone for the moment and I don’t really care if she isn’t or not. Like Emily Youcis, you can be antirape all you want goodgreatwahoo. I kinda don’t care about your stance on rape if YOU’RE ALSO A PROUD NATIONALIST who - again, all you have is my word - ranted about Obama not coughing up his birth certificate to her friends. I shit you not.)) VVV

((Gift/Commission/Trade art for a person I pray I never meet in real life))

((She also loved appropriating German words and culture into her awful rp nonsense and artist’s comments cuz it just made her so kewt. The way she and other Nazis-tans gossip in mangled German was DISGUSTING.))

((Then of course, if an actual German got offended at her and told her not to do Nazi shit she’d cry her big girl tears about how “sad it is that Germans aren’t proud of their heritage”. Because she, an upperclass American girl with a fixation on the period of their history where they were an authoritarian dictatorship knows way more about Germans than Germans, obviously.

She has more of an unwanted hard-on for Germany than Ben Shapiro has for Israel.

Since she doesn’t care about any of the other people she offended than may I just point out how fucking insane you have to be to fetishize German culture and history like this and insist you’re doing all this shit for them.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE GERMAN

STOP TREATING GERMANY LIKE NARNIA AND STOP TREATING IT’S PEOPLE LIKE THEY NEED TO BE “FREED” FROM THEIR “GUILT CULTURE”.

If that’s all you see when you watch documentaries about non-Jewish Germans’ trauma about living through the Nazis and then being separated by the soviets, you’re not more open minded than people think. You’re SICK. ))

#tw: antisemitism #tw: hitler #tw: nazi #tw: neonazi #cw: swastika #altright #spryo the dragon #spryo #my little pony friendship is magic #germanfetishists #thiscrispykat #german appropriation #cultural appropriation #kimba the white lion

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barbierxberts · 4 years

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73 questions.

i was tagged by @drunklili thank you so much love 💕✨ i have the q&a under the cut so i don’t clog up people’s dashes. tags are under the cut as well <3

on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?? it’s okay so i guess a 5

describe yourself in a hashtag?? #clowned

if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?? well, uh, idk, i guess irl it would probably be tom holland?

if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?? a half of the horror twins

what’s one thing people don’t know about you?? i am very good at lying i guess? i can always talk my way out of stuff

what’s your wakeup ritual?? i just lie down on my bed and procrastinate before getting up and brush my teeth and wash my face and go to the washroom

what’s your go to be ritual?? i lie down on my bed, go on my phone and stay up til an ungodly hour before plugging my phone in to charge, play some music and pass out

what’s your favorite time of the day?? golden hour

your go to for having a good laugh?? b99 or john mulaney

dream country to visit?? the us and russia

what’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?? a once good friend of mine showing up at my school after leaving for britain, i think i almost cried

heels or flats/sneakers?? heels and sneakers, i am a big hoarder of sneakers, especially nike and adidas ones ehehehhe

vintage or new?? depends on the brand but both

who do you want to write your obituary?? uuuh, not answering that

style icon?? lisa manoban, margot robbie, zendaya, kang seulgi and dove cameron

what are three things you cannot live without?? the internet, family, and food

what’s one ingredient you put in everything?? i don’t put one specific thing in everything, i just put whatever i think will taste nice in that dish

what 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?? are we counting fictional characters because I can go on and on forever. Zendaya, Timothee Chalamet and Margot Robbie. I cook for my family too much <3

what’s your biggest fear in life?? losing people i love

window or aisle seat?? aisle :)

what’s your current tv obsession?? the witcher

favorite app?? my social media apps

secret talent?? i can do aerial silks and hoops

most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life?? i have been on a trapeze before and i love it

how would you define yourself in three words?? sarcastic, fun, chaotic

favorite piece of clothing you own?? a light blue vintage denim jacket my grandma owns and she gave it to my sister and i traded a black denim jacket for it with her

must have clothing item everyone should have?? a leather jacket

superpower you would want?? magic?

what’s inspiring you in life right now?? i don’t know

best piece of advice you’ve received?? more espresso less depresso

best advice you’d give your teenage self?? don’t wear that

a book everyone should read?? lord of the rings the trilogy

what would you like to be remembered for?? my achievements

how do you define beauty?? depends

what do you love most about your body?? my lips

best way to take a rest/decompress?? music and tv shows, selfcare!!

favorite place to view art?? museums and the city

if your life were a song, what would the title be?? “stop swearing so much”

if you could master one instrument, what would it be?? my singing ability or the guitar

if you had a tattoo, where would it be?? my inner wrist

dolphins or koalas?? dolphins

what’s your spirit animal?? harley quinn

best gift you’ve ever received?? a box of the chronicles of narnia

best gift you’ve ever given?? a jar of paper stars with my sister for my mom, we wrote messages on the paper :))

what’s your favorite board game?? uno and cards against humanity

what’s your favorite color?? blood red

least favorite color?? musty orange

diamonds or pearls?? diamonds

drugstore makeup or designer?? designer

blow-dry or air-dry?? both

pilates or yoga?? aerial yoga

coffee or tea?? both

what’s the weirdest word in the English language?? cocoa, like how tf do you pronounce that

dark chocolate or milk chocolate?? dark

stairs or elevator?? both

summer or winter?? summer

you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?? meat, i never get tired of meat

a dessert you don’t like?? apple crumble, don’t hate me

a skill you’re working on mastering?? not procrastinating

best thing to happen to you today?? my uncle bought back char siu after his run and i almost cried (char siu is a chinese pork)

worst thing to happen to you today?? my procrastination

best compliment you’ve ever received?? that i’m easy to talk to

favorite smell?? the ocean or citrus

hugs or kisses?? boTH

if you made a documentary, what would it be about?? comics and the entertainment industry

last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?? lisa’s lili film #3

lipstick or lip gloss?? lipstick

sweet or savoury?? savoury

girl crush?? oh my god so many, lisa manoban, zendaya, kang seulgi, margot robbie, lilly collins, dove cameron, and song yuqi

how do you know you’re in love?? i’ve never been in love, unless fictional characters count?

song you can listen to on repeat?? any blackpink song because yg don’t give them a comeback and i’m salty

if you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?? probably a kpop idol so see how hectic their lives are

what are you most excited about at this time in your life?? finishing my hsc and graduating

tagging!! @alinagenya, @ohwarnette, @edgarallan, @lucypcvensie, @chloexmorningstar, @mollyweasly, @florenepugh, @cecilylightwood, @highqueen, @panhansolo, @darlingfeyree and anyone who wants to do this

-> as usual, feel free to ignore :))

#tag games #this was exhausting #but fun!!#tysm lili <3333

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marjorierose · 4 years

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The Valley of Song, Elizabeth Goudge

I learned about this book through a 2013 review by RushThatSpeaks on Dreamwidth, and then a comment on their blog years later that it was being brought back into print. I bought it in the same heady book-acquisitive mood that led me to order a copy of Dany Laferrière’s Chronique de la dérive douce in French from Canada. (I had read a photocopy of that entire book in a college-credit summer camp course in 2002, and there was a sentence that got cut off in the photocopy and my teacher had to have us fill it in by hand, and it was perhaps the most important sentence in the whole thing. I badly wanted to find it again years ago, but I couldn’t, despite having most of my French camp stuff still stashed in my childhood bedroom. The line wasn’t online either, as far as I could determine by Googling. Not having it bothered me for long enough that I decided it was worth paying the shipping.) I think I got Valley of Song in the same order as Ella Risbridger’s cookbook Midnight Chicken, though I might as well have waited for the American edition of that one that I didn’t know was going to follow. (Converting measurements is relatively easy, but it turns out that it matters a lot when a recipe writer says to include, simply, “chillies,” and you have no idea which kind are the default for her, or when there are references to “a stock pot” and you have to read a sentence many times over before realizing this is a form of instant bouillon, and not, as you have always used the term to mean, a type of pot.)

Anyway that history of my international book ordering has relatively little to do with Elizabeth Goudge.

Rushthatspeaks described this as a nearly perfect novel, and one that reliably makes them cry, so I had high expectations, which were kinda sorta met. I realized, when I went back to find the review, that I had missed the part that said,

It is Better George MacDonald. Some of you now no longer care. To the rest of you, I say, yes, it is better than my favorite George MacDonald. Or your favorite George MacDonald. Or in fact anything George MacDonald ever wrote. Speaking here as a person who very much loves George MacDonald.

I have never read George MacDonald; he was a seminal figure in a particular kind of fantasy that I have never gotten into. It seems relevant that Narnia didn’t hold my interest enough for me to stick with it. I grew up on fantasy, but I liked the stuff about gardens and cleverness and wisely down-to-earth mentors; I wasn’t as into the kind of fantasy that provided a key to all reality, for the very literal-minded reason that it wasn’t. I mean that if you were looking for an answer to life, the universe, and everything, and a book said “Oh, it resides in this beautiful place and works by this beautiful mechanism,” that was a nice image, but it wasn’t true; whereas the witch in her garden didn’t have all the answers for me either, but what questions she did answer, she did as a human being, with applicably human insight. This kind of distinction used to matter to me a great deal.

The Valley of Song, the place depicted in this book, is one of those key-to-all-reality fantasy places. Reading it as an adult, I’m not as impressionable about it as I once would have been -- I never felt awed by this book, and I think once I might have been. But I’m also less picky about what I need books to do for me. This one was kind of a soft place to land, a meditation on perfect beauty that helped bridge the gap between the last huge novel about dragons I read and the unfinished books I had brought along on vacation with me in hopes of finishing, both of which I like very much but had paused because I just got tired, I guess. This book never made me tired. It was always at least charming and at its best it was touching, even if it didn’t touch me at the very heart. It also just feels like an important entry in that kind of writing -- that particular juncture between fairyland and the kingdom of heaven -- and I’m still thinking about whether that kind of transcendence is something I look for in fiction, and why or why not.

#long post #lit #elizabeth goudge #the valley of song

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miramizar · 4 years

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11 questions tag

I was tagged by @achenlove, @milky-waee, @conqueredthemagic and @notasiren21! Haha this took such a long time to do and I know I’m terribly late but thank you for tagging me! I had lots of fun, even if answering all these combined took both time and energy haha~ 💕

Rules:

Post the rules Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. Write 11 questions of your own Tag 11 people

My Questions:

1) Sunny days or rainy days?

2) It’s saturday morning, you’ve slept in and you are free the entire day. What do you do?

3) If a book/tv-series you love doesn’t end happily, will you get angry and never read/watch it again?

4) You get to fill a bag with whatever candy you like from your local supermarket! What do you fill it with?

5) Have you ever played an instrument? (Singing also counts~)

6) What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you see the word “happiness”?

7) Recommend me a book!

8) If you were to start a new hobby, what would you do?

9) Do you have any favourite words? (doesn’t matter which language you choose!)

10) Tell me your favourite movie from Disney, Pixar and Studio Ghibli~

11) What encouraging words do you need to hear right now?

I’d like to tag @xiuminscheeks, @ladyliliah, @youngk-hun, @qtpie1098, @suhosmilitarywife, @cottonhyun, @iyeolie, @bloomingyouths and whoever wants to do this! 💞

My answers are under the cut if you want to read them! (^_^)💗

1. What´s a hidden talent of yours?

Um, can shake my eyes and move my nostrils?

2. What makes you really really angry?

Whenever things don’t go the way I want to (and I get angry at myself) and when people are being rude

3. If you got one wish, what would you wish for?

For everybody to be happy~

4. Tell us the reason your bias is your bias!

I just love everything about Junmyeon - his dorkiness, his big heart, how adorable he is, how thoughtful and stubborn he is, his beautiful smile... Everything really 💖 Jinki is so natural and warm and soft... Leo is a sweetheart, so kind and humble and open with his thoughts, and his smile is so beautiful my heart hurts 💘 for Mark, it’s how cute and hard-working he is, and how easy he finds things interesting and funny~ and Leeteuk is just a big, pretty ball of weird who manages to make me laugh at any time~ 💕

5. If you only could listen to one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?

Oh my goodness I can’t answer that (>_<;)

6. If you were able to go on a date with your bias, what would you do and why?

Something calm, like visiting a café or a bookshop would be lovely~ (>///<)💘

7. What makes you happy?

Seeing the people I love being happy and dorky 💖

8. Name 5 things you wouldn´t be able to live without!

My family, music, books, candy and nature 💚

9. You´ve just won 1 million dollars, what do you do with them?

Probably pay off my family’s loans, use a little of it to buy myself books and cute things and such, and then give the rest to charity~

10. Tell us 3 things your followers doesn´t know about you!

Ahh, well I just started painting with watercolours (I’m truly a beginner but it’s fun so far~), I know enough japanese to understand what’s going on in un-subbed shows, and I really like planning things out but actually doing them is hard (>w<)❣️

11. What is your dream, your goal in life?

I don’t really know... I want to make people happy, of course... I haven’t thought beyond that really, maybe I should do that...

~Next set of questions!~

1 RANDOM QUESTION BUT: what would you name your dog if you had one??? (I need suggestions)

Ahah I do have one and his name is Picasso!

2 Favourite pic/gif/MEME of your bias?

adhgfaoad I love all pictures of my biases but I love these a lot!!

3 what would you say to your bias if you had the chance to talk to them (like, you meet them while they’re drinking a coffee and you just pass by and you exchange a few words)

I would say thank you for working so hard and for always thinking of us fans, and that I treasure them a lot 💕

4 Chen’s “Ah waeeeee” or Xiumin’s “marshmallow~ marshmallow~”?

They’re both cute!! In different ways! But I guess “marshmallow~”? (>^<)💞

5 “Yo, nice skirt” or “up and down like a rollercoaster”?

up and down like a rollercoaster 🎶

6.Do you like pineapple on your pizza? Please be honest.

Yup! 🍍❤️ 🍕~

7 What’s your favourite girl group?

I don’t really like that many girl groups but I’m currently looking into Mamamoo and Brown Eyed Girls~

8 would you let Pcy punch you in the face killing you instantly? (this is important)

Um, If he has to? But preferably not :>

9 You’re in Baek’s room and he’s asleep next to Mongryong. He looks like an angel.Would you rather fall asleep next to him hugging him or steal Mongryong and start running as fast as you can? :=))))

Sleep next to him, definitely!

10 What’s your favourite MV??

I really like Overdose, For life and Universe~

11 It’s 3 am and you hear strange noises from the apartment in front of yours: it’s Suho dancing to Red Velvet’s Red Flavor. Would you join him or throw a shoe at him?

Join him!! ❤️

~Next set of questions!~

1. Original bias in your ult group?

Junmyeon~

2. How did you get into kpop?

My youngest sister is into dancing and she found some cool videos on youtube one day, showed me and the rest is history 💫

3. What’s the best way kpop has changed your life?

It gave me friends, let me grow closer to my sisters and inspired me in an otherwise very grey reality 💕

4. If you could start your own group, what concept would you have and what position would you hold?

I’d probably be the exasperated leader (I took a quiz recently so I got proof) for a group that makes music that is both soft and happy, and a bit dark and upbeat~ ❣️ Maybe a little like VIXX’s style?

5. Fave look of your bias? (Era wise)

This.

6. Fave pet of the members?

All of them! 💓

7. Fave mv of your ultimate group?

I already answered this, but they’re all really nice so it’s hard to just pick one... Maybe Universe, since it’s so aesthetically pleasing and also pretty deep? :>

8. Favorite fanfic??

That’s something for another post haha but oh well, I really love “Got hands like the ocean” by apaixono, it has me squealing and laughing and crying and everything in between~ 💕

9. Have you seen your bias group live?

Nope - even though they were really close to me when they were in Germany, I didn’t have enough money to go :<

10. Favorite EXO blogs and why?

uh... I think they’re all great? I mean, both the ones creating stuff and those who reblog things... we’re all important to the fandom ❣️

1. Describe yourself with 3 words

Kind, creative, insecure

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My self-confidence... if I had more of it I think I would be happier...

3. What do you do to make yourself happy when you´re sad?

Look at fun things that my favourite kpop-groups do, Gaki no Tsukai, Yoon Siyoon, reading and being creative (when it works out, if it doesn’t I just get more sad 💘), being with my family and pets~

4. If you could meet your 5-year old self, what would you say to her/him?

You’re great just the way you are, don’t ever forget that 💝

5. What is you biggest fear?

Ending up alone... and accidentally hurting people :<

6. When did you start listen to kpop?

In the spring of 2016 I think?

7. If you could meet your bias for a minute, what would you say to him/ her?

Thank you for everything you do and for thinking about your fans, I'm so happy to know you 💓

8. Name 3 people you admire

Apart from all the amazing kpop people ahah (>w<) Well, Itzhak Perlman, Aki (manga artist) and the crown princess of Sweden~

9. What´s the sound you like the most?

The wind blowing through things; like trees and grass and wind chimes~

10. If you got one wish, what would you wish for?

Everybody’s happiness~

11. What would you do if you were invisible for a day?

Read somewhere in a corner I guess... maybe check out some stores, some are so crowded that I just feel like I’m being in the way if I go inside so I don’t, but if I were invisible I could actually do it... I don’t really know haha 💕

~Next set of questions!~

1. Who is your favourite EXO-CBX member and why?

They’re all amazing, but I choose Xiumin - because he’s so soft and full of surprises! 💜

2. Who in your bias group would you like to be your best friend?

Oh... well I’m very similar to D.O so maybe D.O? (>v<)💖

3. Who is your NCT bias (if you have one)?

Mark~

4. What is your favourite food?

Steak with potatoes, gravy and lingonberry jam~ ❤️

5. Favourite thing about your bias -personality wise?

All of my biases try really hard, they’re very kind and spontaneous and aren’t afraid of being dorky~ 💗

6. What’s your favourite body part of your bias?

Okay this is really embarrassing (/▽＼*)｡o○♡ I’m not really one to like specific body parts but I kind of love Jinki’s thighs because they look healthy? ajfdaihfba

7. Favourite colour?

Soft and bright ones, like white, light blue and light purple~

8. Who has the best humour in your bias group?

Suho is the funniest in EXO, period. (>w<)💕 but yeah, I find all my biases the most fun in all of my favourite groups~

9. What’s your favourite animal?

Cats ✨

10. Would you rather go on an ice cream date or a coffee-shop date with your bias?

I’m happy to do either, as long as I get to be with my bias (>///<)❣️

11. How do you feel about beans?

...not really a fan. Hide it in other food and I’ll eat it, otherwise I won’t eat it.

~Next set of questions!~

1) Your favorite quote that grounds you to being yourself?

Oh, that’s a good question... maybe “You doubt your value. Don’t run from who you are.” It’s a quote from the Narnia books that I really like, and since I struggle a lot with self-loathing it is very important to me since it makes me remember that I am valuable~ 💫

2) Ultimate ship you’re fond of and love?

This is pretty much impossible to answer because I have wayyyyy to many ships and I can’t choose just one of them adjfbnaidfad

3) Favorite soulmate AU type? (I.e. name on wrist, heterocrhomia eyes of your other half’s, seeing color for the first time)

I like all of them but I haven’t heard of the heterochromia one, that sounds really beautiful!

4) Favorite show of yours that you love that’s not in your first language?

Merlin. I like a lot of shows but Merlin is the one I keep coming back to. ✨

5) Your white noise show? (Go to show you can rewatch countless times and tune in and out of)

SCRUBS. Definitely. It’s such a great show, perfectly balanced between humour and seriousness and almost every episode works well on it’s own so no matter when you decide to watch you’ll have a nice time~

6) Fictional character you wish was real to validate your unnecessary crush?

Oh, I don’t really fall in love with fictional characters? I just ship them with people from their own universe haha (^^;)

7) A weird phobia you have that you can’t explain?

I have phobias, but I don’t know if they’re un-explainable... like my fear of insects can be explained by me getting stung by a bee when I was little...

8) Sweets or Sours?

I like both, but I’’ll say sweets! 🍬

9) Are you an artist, writer, musician, or part of the adoring audience who supports them?

...I’m a bit of them all? I play the violin so I am a musician, and I like to write and I always support other artists 💗

10) Favorite band?

I love a lot of Kpop groups, and apart from that... musically or personality-wise? Because musically I’d say any group made by Alexander Bard, but personality-wise... Westlife? Maybe??

Congratulations for reading all of those messy answers! (>W<) You’re amazing~ Have a nice day! 💖

#aoudgögbadoga finally done!!#oh my goodness this was so hard #but I had a lot of fun too~#💞💗💓#thank you for tagging me!#and of course you don't have to do it if you don't want to~#my answers

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dyscrasia-eucrasia · 4 years

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Part 26

"So what do you do if someone sees you out in a national park?" Angel asked as he turned onto the road at a wooden sign that ready 'Wayne National Forest'.

"Tell people that we're doing a photoshoot," Demie replied. "Doing that thing those hardcore nerds do when they dress up like anime characters and run around."

"You mean cosplay?"

"Yeah, that. Just lie and say I'm playing that guy in the Chronicles of Narnia."

"Oh, that's right! There was a goat dude in that movie, I totally forgot. God, James McAvoy was so gorgeous in that role."

"He did alright, I guess," Demie mumbled. "That movie was so fucking Jesus-y for having so much pagan shit in it."

"Wait, really? What part of it was Jesus-y?"

"The whole lion sacrificing himself for the little girls and then coming back to life. Which, again, Christians stole from the Greeks. We did the whole god dying and coming back thing first."

"Really? I didn't know that about Greek mythology - which god?"

"My god. Dionysus. That's the whole reason we worship him, him and Orpheus are the only two people to go to Hades and come back. He represents rebirth."

"I had no idea," Angel said as they pulled up to a small dirt parking lot. "That's so cool."

Demie cringed as he looked out the car window. He should've told Angel to go further into the park. There was one other vehicle already parked there, a large black SUV.

"We can turn around and go back," Angel said, and Demie kind of wanted to punch him for it. He'd been so nice and understanding the entire day, even though this was most definitely a waste of time and gas, not to mention the money that went towards the festival tickets. He wished Angel would get angry, or at least annoyed. As it was, Demie just felt like even more of a selfish prick.

"No, it's fine, let's do this," Demie said, opening the car door and stepping out before he could change his mind. Angel quickly followed suit.

A trailhead marker denoted the path that spread out from the lot as Symmes Creek trail.

"You know this trail?" Angel asked.

"Yeah," Demie replied. He'd done it once with a few cousins, as a backpacking trip. Well, as close to backpacking as they got with their limited equipment. It had been a two-day trip, though, and they had hiked at night and slept during the day to avoid detection.

With his cousins, that felt natural and freeing, a way of really getting back to nature. But that didn't sound like something Angel would be up to. Not to mention they didn't have food or even water.

"We'll just go a little ways down the trail," Demie said.

"Whatever you want, man," Angel replied, putting his hands in his pockets and following after Demie as he made his way to the trail.

Having lived around forests his entire life, Demie didn't particularly understand the appeal of national forests, outside of the need to protect wildlife from the encroachment of human cities. That said, Wayne was a little different from the forest he lived in. There were different plants, more wild animals, lots of cool old bridges and rock formations. Everything was lush and green and when he listened really closely, Demie thought he could hear rushing water far off.

They walked in silence for a while, which Demie appreciated. After all that singing in the car without any vocal warm-ups, his voice was weaker. Not to mention, he'd had to exert extreme amounts of self control to hold himself back and keep from letting Angel get taken over by the Frenzy.

He realized he'd probably have to tell Angel about that sooner or later. He couldn't keep him in the dark forever. At this point, he was pretty sure that Angel was his friend voluntarily, but bringing him into the loop may very well help him resist the Frenzy in the future.

Not that Angel necessarily needed to resist it. Demie actually felt like Angel could stand to cut loose a little. He just seemed so… perfect. He was ripped, he had a nice car, he had incredibly straight and white teeth, all of his clothes looked good (even if he did seem to only wear shirts that were a size too small and which strained against his biceps).

It was so perfect that it seemed a little fake, all except for those times he'd called crying. He hadn't been trying to make himself seem cool then, and Demie had… well, 'liked' wasn't the right word, but he'd appreciated it. He didn't think men should cry, but when Angel cried, he was showing an unfiltered version of himself. That was the version of Angel that Demie wanted to be friends with, not the endlessly patient one that kept telling him that they could turn around if he was uncomfortable.

They came across an old stone bridge, and Demie lifted his camera to take a snapshot. Angel apparently hadn't noticed, because he walked right into frame before spotting the camera.

"Oops," he said, stepping back a few feet. "Sorry, don't wanna ruin your shot."

"It's cool," Demie said, taking a photo without any people in it. The camera spit out the photo and he waved it gently and watched it develop.

"Hey," Angel said, but stopped.

"Hay's for horses," Demie muttered. Angel snorted, and the edges of Demie's mouth ticked upwards.

"Hey, so, can I take a picture of you?" Angel asked.

Demie looked over his shoulder at him, the small smile on his face quickly turning into a frown.

"Not, like, with my phone," Angel continued. "But with your camera. You can keep the photo, I just… it would be cool, I think."

"Um…" Demie looked down at his camera, thinking it over. He had virtually no photographs of himself. He had plenty of Elaine and Marius, but he was always the one behind the camera, never in front of it.

Yet Angel had already taken a picture of him that day. And had saved it. Demie didn't particularly feel like he had anything to worry about - he didn't feel like Angel was going to go showing that photo off. It was a friends photo. It had felt private.

"Yeah, sure," Demie said, handing the camera to Angel.

Angel took a few steps back, lifting the camera, but not looking in the viewfinder yet.

"Go, like… stand on the bridge," Angel said.

Demie stepped over onto the bridge, turning back to look at Angel. He lifted his hands slightly and then let them fall to his sides. "Like this?" He asked.

"Yeah, but like… maybe pose somehow? Like… you think you could climb up on the rail and crouch down?"

Demie did as he was asked, stepping up onto the raised stone sides of the bridge and crouching, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Hm…" Angel lowered the camera to tap his lips with his fingers. "Would you be willing to take your shirt off?"

"Why?" Demie asked, furrowing his brow. That sounded kinda gay to him.

"I promise it's not for, like, spank bank material," Angel said, as though he were reading Demie's mind. "I just think that, like… a satyr in nature, it would make the photo cooler if you weren't wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. It would look more timeless, y'know?"

Demie frowned. It didn't feel like Angel was trying to pull something, but at the same time he was a little surprised at essentially being directed for a photo. Photos were snapshots of memories to him - to be posed made it feel less intimate.

Well, maybe that was okay. He wasn't sure if being super intimate with Angel was something he necessarily wanted.

He pulled his shirt over his head, taking care not to catch the stretched out neck hole on his horns. Once the shirt was off, he felt self-conscious. Nudity wasn't a big deal for him typically, but he couldn't help comparing himself to Angel. He'd never even seen Angel fully shirtless, but the glimpses he could see through the too-tight shirts showed a body that looked like it could be made of marble. By contrast, Demie was scrawny, built like a narrow rectangle, with gangly arms and a veritable carpet of chest and stomach hair.

"Catch," he said, tossing the shirt towards Angel. Angel managed to grab it one-handed right before it hit the ground.

"Okay, ready?" Angel said, draping the shirt over one shoulder and lifting the camera to his face.

"Yeah, sure," Demie said.

"Say 'cheese!'" Angel said. Demie didn't change his facial expression at all.

The shutter clicked and after a moment the camera spit out the photo. Demie got down from the rail and walked back over to Angel, who was rapidly shaking the photo.

"Don't shake it that much," Demie said. "You'll mess up the development."

"Oh." Angel held the photo still, holding it out so Demie could watch as it developed.

Demie had to admit, it was a good photo. Angel had a good eye, framing Demie in the lower right of the photo and capturing the empty wash and trees behind him. Something about it did, indeed, feel timeless.

"Here," Angel said, offering both the shirt and photo to Demie. Demie just took the shirt.

"You can keep it," he said, nodding towards the photo. He trusted Angel.

#writing #writers on tumblr #original fiction #gay fiction #lgbt fiction #mlm fiction #wright's writing #w:demie and angel

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thegreatdivorce · 5 years

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There and back again...

This post is about a lot of things, but it’s mainly about my love for Faramir and Eowyn… and about how the book is always better than the movie. But we have to go back a lil before we can start.

I read Lord of the Rings for the first time when I was 14 years old. It took me a long time to get through it. I think a whole year, maybe more. I had trouble for a few reasons: one, it’s a big story for a young reader, and two, my motivation was probably in the wrong place. I grew up on a healthy diet of C. S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien, my dad read the Chronicles of Narnia series to me as a kid and I read The Hobbit (on my dad’s special collectors edition) not long after that, but I never made it to Lord of the Rings until the films came out. And I only really read the books then because I loved the films so much. Let me repeat that with more emphasis, I loved. these films. so. much. I could recite lines from the movies, yes, but I could also recite lines from the commentary the cast created for each extended edition. I can still recall the jokes, pranks, and memories the cast hold dear almost as if I had lived through them myself as the 10th member of the fellowship. I still call David Wenham ‘Daisy Wenham,’ and if the word ‘wig’ appears in conversation my brain immediately goes to, “your hair changes dramatically from short to long… do you wear wigs?” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you are not a true fan of the film series. It meant so much to me when I was younger that I think I started the books as a way to stay in that world a lil longer. And I guess constantly comparing the books to a beloved film series is not the best way to read because I didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would. To be clear, I didn’t dislike the books, Return of the Kings marks one of the few books to make me cry (Theoden’s death got to me), but the books didn’t impact me in the same way the films did.

Fast forward some 13 years later and something, I’m not exactly sure what, convinced me to read the books again. I have a long book list, one that I am sorely behind on, so choosing a 1000+ page saga (one that I’ve already read before) while other books are waiting to be cracked open for the first time was probably not the most productive decision I’ve made, but I regret nothing. I still own the same copy of LOTR I owned when I first read the series and man, there’s something about the smell of a book that can bring you right back to where you were when you first opened it because that’s exactly what happened when I started re-reading it. There is something nice about feeling like you’re 14 again… feeling like your whole life is ahead of you, but the only thing you have to worry about is reading this one book.

Although the smell of the book felt the same, other things felt different. Aragorn does not struggle at all with the idea of his kingship like Viggo does in the film, Sam feels a bit more of a simpleton in the books, and Frodo seems older and wiser than the 19-year-old Elijah Wood feels in the movies. All of these things are small differences and as I was reading book one and book two, I found I still liked the movies for what they are and tried to be (although that scene where Frodo tells Sam to leave just before Shelob’s lair, that he doesn’t need him anymore, will never make sense to me), but for the most part I liked both film and book fairly evenly. But entering into book three, I realized how certain characters got the short end of the movie stick. Particularly Eowyn and Faramir. I’ll be frank, I don’t know how you would have written more of them into the story without bogging down the pacing of the rest of the movie, but that’s kind of my point, Eowyn’s story is so good she needs her own dang movie so everyone can discuss how amazing and complex she is. And Faramir too, but we’ll get to him in a moment.

Eowyn in the movie is played wonderfully by Miranda Otto. Seriously, the casting of this series is pretty near perfect. Her part is relatively small, but they touch on all the main points of her character. She’s a fierce warrior, but she feels stuck in a cage staying at home having to care for her people and the man she considers a father all by herself, she falls for Aragorn, he doesn’t return her love, she wants to ride to war, she does so secretly, she kills the Witch-King, she receives the honor and valor she has always wanted, she marries Faramir, bada bing, bada boom, done. It’s a nice lil package, but it’s the highlight reel because there is so much more to Eowyn than that...

So to know Eowyn, we have to know the people of Rohan. Faramir does a nice job summing them up when he refers to them while talking to Sam and Frodo in The Window on the West, “If the Rohirrim are grown in some ways more like to us (the people of Gondor), enhanced in arts and gentleness, we too have become more like to them. For as the Rohirrim do, we now love war and valor as things good in themselves, both as a sport and an end. We esteem a warrior, nonetheless, above other crafts.” Faramir continues to talk of war “as is the need of their day,” a necessary evil, but you can tell... he’s really not into it. This is shown in a few different ways throughout the books (his relationship in contrast with his brother/father as one example), but the place it really hits home happens earlier in the same chapter when he states this zinger, “War must be, while we defend our lives against a destroyer who would devour all; but I do not love the sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” (Side note, Faramir is the best and I know everybody loves fawning over King Viggo Aragorn, but y'all are sleeping on the best man in the whole series! Faramir is where it is at. He’s far more complex than Aragorn and I will fangirl over him more later on, but we’re still on Eowyn, so I’ll continue.) So the people of Rohan are a proud, fierce, war-loving crowd. They actually sing songs as they are killing people in battle. Think “whistle while you work,” but fiercer and more insane. But Faramir is not dissing them; he is not implying they are war-hungry, or war-mongers, simply the Rohirrim believe proving themselves in battle is a right they deserve.

Enter Eowyn. In contrast to Faramir, who seems to have a sober understanding of war and battle, Eowyn finds her worth in it. We can see this most obviously in her attraction to Aragorn. In the movie, their attraction seems to develop in a natural, innocent way. I vaguely remember Miranda Otto mentioning in some interview for the DVD special features that part of the reason why it’s so tragic that Aragorn turns Eowyn down is that he knows they would make a good match. Essentially if Aragorn hadn’t met Arwen first, Aragorn and Eowyn could be together. Honestly, with how the movie presented their relationship, yah, I get it. Except that’s not how it is in the books. Aragorn, in The Houses of Healing, looks to Eomer and says, “I say to you that she loves you more truly than me; for you she loves and knows; but in me she loves only a shadow and a thought: a hope of glory and great deeds, and lands far from the fields of Rohan.” Eowyn desires the great deeds of war, not like Faramir does: as a means to protect a people, but as a way to prove herself. Faramir seems to find an honor in all crafts and positions, but Eowyn, although protective of them, talks lowly of her own people, consistently stating she is not a “dry-nurse” or a “serving-woman” but higher above them as a member of the House of Eorl. Eowyn speaks of a hierarchy within Rohan, consistently placing herself above the other women who are care-takers or mothers. What makes this even more tragic is that it’s not entirely her fault that she has come to this thinking. Gandalf, again in The House of Healing, explains to Eomer, “Think you that Wormtongue had poison only for Theoden’s ears? ‘What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among dogs?’ Have you not heard these words before? My lord, if your sister’s love for you, and her will still bent her duty, had not restrained her lips, you might have heard even such things as these escape them. But who knows what she spoke in the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all her life seemed shrinking, and the walls of her bower closing in on her, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in?” It’s tragic. And what’s worse is Eomer’s shock in thinking about his sister in this light. He never really knew her. No one did. Eowyn has always been fighting alone. Which is what makes her conclusion so satisfying...

Eowyn rides into the Battle of Pelennor and kills the Witch-king (with the help of Merry). As I mentioned before, this is covered very well in the film, there is the great “I am no man” line which is taken from the book and although Eowyn is injured it seems she finally got her chance to defend herself in battle, like the other able-bodied men, so we’re meant to rejoice at her triumph, which I did when I saw the film. Except, again, that’s not the point in the book. Obviously, it’s great that the Witch-king is dead, but that event is the rising action leading into Eowyn’s healing, not her resolution… because Eowyn still wants to die in battle. She survived the Witch-king, she is being forced to heal her wounds in the House of Healing, but all she wants to do is die. Die as King Theoden has just done in battle (crushed by the body of his own horse) because this is the only way she can achieve the honor she feels she deserves. Because, again, Aragorn won’t give her that honor. And Faramir challenges this notion directly to Eowyn when they meet each other in the House of Healing, “You desired to have the love of the Lord Aragorn. Because he was high and puissant, and you wanted to have renown and glory and to be lifted far above the mean things of that crawled on the earth. But when he gave you only understanding and pity, then you desired to have nothing, unless a brave death in battle.” And it is only here, with Faramir, the first person to really see Eowyn and challenge her openly, does she acknowledge the truth, and her darkness (her desire for death) passes. It’s so beautiful. Eowyn exclaims, “Behold, the shadow has departed! I will be a shieldmaiden no longer, nor vie with the great Riders, nor take joy only in the songs of slaying. I will be a healer, and love all things that grow and are not barren.” And if you find a sadness or a disappointment in Eowyn’s proclamation of a life of peace than you are not paying attention to what Tolkien is putting down.

This is important because I’ve heard this complaint before… Tolkien is not saying that it is wrong for Eowyn to participate in battle, to be a shieldmaiden, because she is a woman, (there are multiple instances in the book where Eowyn is described as a worthy warrior alongside her male companions. Hamma, may he rests in peace, nominates Eowyn as the person to manage the. whole. kingdom in place of the king when Theoden and Eomer leave for Helms Deep. So there’s that.) Tolkien is saying it is wrong to glorify battle, death, and destruction. full stop. No matter who you are. It is a point that is continually being made time and time again throughout the whole series by almost every character. And it should be no surprise coming from a man who fought in the first world war and then lived through the second. “I will not take joy only in the songs of slaying,” is really what Tolkien is trying to drive home here. Eowyn is still a warrior. Right after she accepts Faramir’s proposal and Aragorn is crowned king, Eowyn is like, “Faramir, I love you. I’m gonna marry you. But I have some important business to take care of back in Rohan with my brother, so I’m gonna leave… I’ll be back in like a month probably. Bye.” Yes, girl! That is the moment we should be applauding. Not the moment where Eowyn kills the Witch-king, but the moment where Eowyn realizes herself as a warrior but also a healer and there being a time and honor in both of those crafts if they have a proper foundation. It’s the moment when Eowyn finally sees and knows herself. And you know what Faramir says in response to Eowyn’s leaving? Nothing. He lets her go to do her thing because he is the best and I love him.

On to Faramir!

Ok. So. I’ll be brief here. Or I’ll try to be. One, because I think I’ve already shown a fair amount of Faramir’s great qualities, but also because I think his character in the film shows a stronger resemblance to the book than Eowyn’s. If we can all ignore that scene where Faramir drags Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath (because that never happens *eye roll*), and focus on the dialogue dealing with his dad, we’re getting pretty faithful Faramir content as pretty much all of the Faramir - Denethor dialogue is taken directly from the book, and it’s all golden. And when I say golden, I mean deadly. The, “‘Since you were robbed of Boromir, I will do what I can in his stead. If I should return, think better of me, Father.’ - ‘That will depend on the manner of your return.’” exchange between Faramir and Denethor is brutal. To say that Faramir has daddy issues is an understatement. But that brings us up to an important point. Faramir is just as broken as Eowyn is and their meeting is not so much so Faramir can save Eowyn but for them to find healing in each other.

Faramir’s dad is insane. Literally. By the end of the book, Denethor loses his mind and tries to kill both him and his son by burning them alive. Faramir is not fully aware his dad is trying to kill him because by the time Denethor is building a funeral pyre, Faramir is slipping in and out of consciousness due to his battle wounds (to clarify, Denethor thinks his son is already dead, which is why he wants to share the funeral pyre with him. It doesn’t make it better, but it’s the facts). So the last thing Faramir hears, in full conscience, is that his dad wishes that he had died in his brother’s place and the only way he can prove his worth is sustaining victory in battle. Which he knows he cannot do. So Faramir goes to battle, is injured, and ultimately wants to die. Sound familiar? But he doesn’t. Aragorn calls him back to health in the House of Healing and he meets Eowyn.

Faramir likes Eowyn from the moment they meet but can see she is struggling and doesn’t know the exact cause of her pain. So he talks to the best wingman in Middle Earth, Merry, and puts all the details together that Eowyn is still pretty hung up on Aragorn, and for all the wrong reasons. Faramir decides to gently pursue Eowyn which, if you think about it, is quite the courageous thing to do considering Faramir’s past. Faramir’s whole life consists of being left behind, the man that is not chosen. As we established above, his own father chose and loved his brother, Boromir, over him. Boromir was chosen to join the Fellowship of the Ring, not Faramir. It’s even in his job description to be picked over. Faramir is a Steward of Gondor, he’s to hold court until the proper king appears and then literally step out of the way. Here is another area where potentially someone is going to choose someone else in place of him. Faramir questions Eowyn about her love for Aragorn asking, “[I’m assuming] you cannot choose between us. Eowyn, do you not love me, or will you not?” Ugh, tragic. She admits, “I wished to be loved by another, but I desire no man’s pity.” Faramir clarifies, “I do not offer you my pity. For you are a lady high and valiant and you yourself won renown that shall not be forgotten; and you are a lady beautiful, I deem, beyond even the words of the Elven-tongue to tell. And I love you. Once I pitied your sorrow. But now, were you sorrowless, without fear, or any lack, were you the blissful Queen of Gondor, still I would love you. Eowyn, do you not love me?”

It’s actually nerve-wracking when you leave out Eowyn’s response to this question; to know Faramir is asking someone he loves dearly for love in return, something he was rarely afforded in his life, especially in the beautiful way in which he asked it. He sees Eowyn for who she truly is, someone even she doesn’t fully recognize yet, and who she can be: a valiant queen. And not just any queen, Faramir says the Queen of Gondor, Aragorn’s wife. Faramir basically admits, “I know there’s a chance you could still be with Aragorn, but even if you did, I would still love you regardless.” It’s so courageous and beautiful, and in a lot of ways, the ultimate test to see if Faramir has really healed over the wounds his father has left. The wounds of being left unchosen. But Eowyn does choose, she chooses to be with him, and they ultimately provide healing and understanding to each other.

And that’s all left unsaid in the films. None of it is really in there which is such a bummer because it’s so good. And this whole story has been waiting for me to re-discover it on my shelf for the past 13 years and I’ve finally made my way back. Can’t believe I almost missed it.

Anyhow, thank you for coming to my TED Talk on why Faramir and Eowyn are the best and why reading books is cool.

I probably could write more, but I’ve taken a brief break in reading the dang book to write this essay and I still have a few more chapters to go to finish the whole thing.

Good day.

#lord of the rings #faramir #eowyn #rohan #gondor #JRR Tolkien #aragorn #reading is cool #return of the king

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thenameofaslan · 5 years

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Hey, The Name of Aslan followers!

Currently we stand at 7 members, and to keep things unique, instead of using existing character names, we will be going by Narnia-inspired names we created ourselves! Our names are Veriele, Ailora, Gianah, Astriella, Haaven, Lailenah, and Elledia. Allow us to introduce ourselves! Below we will be sharing some facts about ourselves & our interest in Narnia.

Hello! I’m Veriele!

Favourite book:

My favourite book tends to change a lot. Of course The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is a classic, and in and of itself it’s possibly the most magical story of the 7. However, I also love The Magician’s Nephew for the beautiful creation of Narnia it shows us. Then The Horse and His Boy really stands out from the other books, and I love the characters and their growth so much. But I think when it comes down to it, The Last Battle holds the most special place in my heart. The ending chapters are so full of life and beauty. The parade of returning characters in Aslan’s Country is stunning and hits my nostalgic heart hard. And those final lines just fill my heart with joy! It’s a hard choice, as the entire series is absolutely lovely, but I do think The Last Battle stands out to me most of all.

Favourite Aslan quote:

I love a lot of Aslan’s lines, but I think my top 3 are “Courage, dear heart,” “Do not dare not to dare,” and “Now you are a lioness.”

Favourite Bible verse:

In the entire Bible it’s hard to choose just one, but Revelation 21:5a fills me with a special kind of joy. “He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’”

Songs that remind me of Narnia:

A lot of songs remind me of Narnia, but to name a few: Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, North by Sleeping At Last, and Long Live by Taylor Swift.

What kind of content or art I make/enjoy:

I make edits, analytical posts, and I write the occasional fic!

Hi everyone, I’m Ailora!

Favorite book:

For the Christian themes, my favorite will always be The Last Battle. The ending few chapters make me cry. I also love the atmosphere of Voyage of the Dawn Treader, especially the ending.

Favorite Aslan scene:

It’s so hard to choose just one. I guess I’d have to say the scene where Aslan appears and walks beside Cor on the mountain pass in HAHB. I love Aslan’s gentleness with Cor, but also the sense of wonder when he starts to reveal himself and how he’s been acting in Cor’s story. I love that during the entire scene, Aslan is walking beside Cor to protect him from falling off the mountain, and also that he is guiding Cor to exactly the place he needs to be. I love Cor’s response to seeing Aslan, and I love that Aslan leaves him a footprint-full of cold water at the end. It’s just a beautiful picture of God’s provision and love and kindness and knowledge of us.

Favorite Bible verse:

Again, hard to choose. But for now I’ll say Ephesians 3:17-19: “That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”

Hi, I’m Gianah.

How I got interested in Narnia:

I got interested in Narnia when my friend forced me to watch The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. I immediately bought the collection of all seven books, joined tumblr and then got even more obsessed with it. Once I found out other people actually really liked the series, I started to be more invested. The rest is history.

Favourite Bible Verse:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ 29:11

Kinds of art or content I enjoy/make:

I love both writing and painting/ drawing. I love making analysis texts so much, and also narrative texts.

Hey everyone! I'm Astriella :)

How I got into Narnia:

I've loved Narnia since I was about twelve, when I was first allowed to read the books (I think I burned through all 7 in about a month!). Even then I loved finding “hidden meanings” in stuff and Narnia is a treasure trove of allegory and allusion!

My favourite non-human character:

My favorite has to be Jewel the Unicorn. Both because unicorns are amazing and majestic and all, but because of his loyalty for Tirian, his sacrificial love, and his gentle gentility.

My favorite Aslan moment:

It has to be from VotDT, from the Dark Island where nightmares come true. Lucy, up in the crow’s-nest, looks down on the havoc and chaos on deck as the sailors panic in terror, and whispers to Aslan, begging for help. And help comes in the form of an albatross, which circles the crow’s-nest before leading the ship to safety; but in that moment Lucy hears Aslan’s voice whisper to her, “Courage, dear heart.” That scene means a lot to me because anxiety always provides plenty of possible nightmares, but I know my God will lead me to safety and He gives me courage.

Hello! I’m Haaven!

How I got interested in Narnia:

I literally cannot remember a time when I wasn’t. I grew up on the series. My true obsession with it, however, would have begun in about 4th grade when I found the entire series in the school library and read them all for the first time.

When/how I became a Christian?

I could talk for a very long time on this, but I’ll try to keep in short(ish). I grew up in a Christian home so I always kind of knew that I needed Jesus, but I didn’t know how to go about it. I was also the most shy person you would ever meet, so I wasn’t about to ask anyone how, either. But then when I was ten, I went to church camp for one week during the summer for the first time. (I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go, but my mom convinced me with, “Well, your sister will be there, so you’ll be fine!” haha.) And, I guess you could say, the rest is history (since this is the short version, haha). :P

Favorite Narnia-esque songs:

I have so many, but I will limit myself to three: All the King’s Horses by Karmina (totally an Edmund/ movie!PC!Peter/ Eustace song!), Up All Night by David Archuleta (okay, yes, I know this is a love song, but if you think about it as Lucy and Aslan especially in LWW… It’s adorable, okay?!?), and Beautifully Broken by Plumb (sort of a post-Last Battle Susan song).

Hi! My name is Lailenah.

Favorite non-human Narnia character:

This is a tough question, because the majority of my faves aren’t human! Hwin and Bree, Mr. Tumnus, Reepicheep, the centaurs, and then of course Aslan in his completely own category...But I’m going to have to go with Puddleglum because I LOVE him. Many heroes tend to be optimistic, hopeful, and outgoing people, but Puddleglum’s the opposite. And yet he’s still a very caring, courageous, and loyal individual; he stays true to his faith and encourages the others to do the same, especially in the scene where the Green Witch tries to enchant them so they deny that the world above and Aslan exist. And when everything is at its most hopeless point, he’s the one to offer hope in the form of, “We’re just four babies making up a game, if you’re right. But four babies playing a game can make a play world that licks your world hollow. That’s why I’m on Aslan’s side, even if there’s no Aslan to lead it.” He’s not a ray of sunshine, but he can be a gleam in the darkest places, when it’s most needed. And sometimes I feel like as a Christian, some people expect that you must always be “joyful” (aka wear a cheerful smile, be optimistic, and act outgoing) to be a good witness and influential for Christ. But Puddleglum reminds me that I can be real, I can be honest, and I can be an encouragement to others even when I am at a low point (in fact, being with others during their low points because I understand how it feels might be when I am most needed!). My faith and my effectiveness to others as a Christian is not less because I am not an extrovert. It is not less because I struggle mentally and feel exhausted because of anxious or depressed thoughts. No. I was created the way I am for a reason. I have the challenges I have for a reason. We all do, and that’s okay. No matter our differences, we’re not less than anyone else in God’s loving eyes, and He has a unique time and place for each of us to serve as His light as Puddleglum did.

Favorite Narnia book:

It’s always been the Last Battle. I love how intense it gets in this book, how the evil is overwhelming, the stakes are high, and the battle between right and wrong is at its climax. It feels like the good guys are losing as their already sparse armies dwindle, and the main characters are being forced into the stable. Sometimes that sense of being overwhelmed mirrors how I feel when I look at all the scary, sad, and bad things happening in the world today, but I’m encouraged by the characters who still are soldiers for Aslan’s cause, who keep going and trusting in what’s right in spite of that and in spite of the fact that can’t see what’s coming next. And then, of course, Aslan’s country. I love seeing all the familiar faces from throughout the series and the joy and rest they find in eternity with Aslan and their loved one. It shows that it truly is worth it all.

What kind of content or art I make/enjoy:

I have always loved to write! So fanfiction and meta are definitely my favorite ways to participate. Bet you couldn’t tell that I tend to drone on. ;) (I also make mood boards on occasion.)

Hi, Elledia here!

Favourite book:

A Horse and His Boy or Silver Chair

What age we got interested in Narnia:

I SAY 7, but I grew up watching the BBC miniseries, so I don’t know for sure.

Favourite Aslan quote:

“And I was the Lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

When/how I became a Christian:

Raised in the church/missionary brat. I decided when I was around eight that I wanted to be baptized and though there’ve been some bumps along the way, I’m growing in Christ as best as I can.

Narnia-esque songs:

“If You Want Me To” by Ginny Owens reminds me a lot of Narnia, for some reason.

Kinds of art or content I enjoy/make:

I write, so fanfic and metas are my thing, but I enjoy all kinds of art.

Anyways, it’s great to meet you all! We hope to interact with you all more in the future, and as we begin creating original posts for this blog. Our ask box is open, should you have any questions! Thanks for following us! <3

#thenameofaslan #narnia #the chronicles of narnia #c. s. lewis #text #mod

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the-balor-within · 5 years

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Yesterday I made a little “survey” for @wrestlingxbalorxrollins (I thank you again Deseray for answering all my questions!) I wanted to get to know this great person a little better... She asked me to answer the same things and questions, I asked, so here I go: basic-information name: Jessica (only “Jess" is fine too) where I live: I live in a small village (about 1000 people live here) in the South of Lower-Saxony -Germany (...if I would have the possibilities to move... I would without a second thought...) birthday: July 7th eye color: blue-grey (...my sister has the more beautiful blue eye color... people always give her compliments and even ask her if her eye color is real or if she wears contact lenses... and I have not really special eyes that aren't just not special but also bad... I have to wear glasses which I don't really like) hair color: a kind of mid-brown (but I really want to dye it black again) tattoos: yes - Kanji on the inner side of my left upper arm piercings: yes - an "industrial piercing” in my right ear + earrings hobbies: drawing, reading, learning Japanese (including how to write Kanji), I like to bake but I don't have the chance to do that often favorites Wrestler: 1. Finn Bálor 2. Jeff Hardy (he was in fact the first Wrestler I was kinda a fan of. Because my sister is already watching Wrestling for a long time I came across WWE Superstars since I was young and even though it took me until I saw Finn to become a real fan of Wrestling, I was always a fan of the Hardy Boyz and especially Jeff) 3. Roman Reigns 4. Shinsuke Nakamura 5. Asuka music / bands / artists: My favorite music is J-Rock (Japanese Rock) & Visual Kei. My most favorite artist is HYDE. He does solo work but he also has two bands: VAMPS & L'Arc~en~Ciel. Another Japanese artist I'm a big fan of is GACKT. Another Japanese bands / artists that are my some of my favorites: - the GazettE - girugamesh - D - Versailles - MIYAVI Non-Japanese bands / artists I like: - 30 seconds to mars - LINKIN PARK - SIXX:AM - Bring me the Horizon - INCUBUS - Lovex - Halsey (I listen to her a lot lately... even though her music doesn't really fit to my usually more rock orientated music taste... maybe because I'm "Bad at Love" too...?) movies: I love Studio Ghibli movie (my favorite one is "Howl's Moving Castle") - The Lord of Rings + The Hobbit - Harry Potter + Fantastic Beasts and where to find them - STAR WARS - Tim Burton Movies: The Nightmare before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd, Edward Scissorhands, Big Fish... - Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - Donnie Darko - Interview with a Vampire - A Cure for Wellness - Guardians of the Galaxy - X-men And I always enjoy watching animation movies (Japanese & Disney Pixar) + my two favorite Japanese artists also acted in movies. One of the movies is called "MOON CHILD" (many people say that the movie is really bad... but I love it. Both GACKT and HYDE act in the movie and GACKT also wrote the script for it) HYDE also acted in a movie that is called "Kagen no Tsuki" (a movie that is heart breaking... a movie that taught me something about love, about love that outlasts death) TV series: - American Horror Story - American Gods - The 100 - Supernatural + Anime series: Death Note, Tokyo Ghoul, Blue Exorcist, Trinity Blood, Elfenlied... books: When I was younger I read a lot of fantasy books like "Lord of the Rings", "Harry Potter", "Narnia", books from the German author Jenny-Mai Nuyen (one of my favorite books from her is called "Noir", it's her first more adult book and not in the fantasy genre). Today my favorite author is Haruki Murakami. colors: black, silver and red questions! What is your most beautiful memory? ...hhhmmm ...I guess I don't really have a most beautiful memory... maybe the first time in my life in which I felt special for a moment will become a beautiful memory... (but that happened just a few weeks ago... it was the moment in which I saw that Finn retweeted one of my tweets...) Did you ever meet someone you really admire (maybe a celebrity, athlete or also a non-famous person)? I met J-Rock bands at autograph signing sessions and hand-shake opportunities before and after concerts... but those musicians are only famous for people who are into J-Rock... (The most surprising meeting with a guitarist from a J-Rock band was in an elevator in a hotel...) Is there a place or county you would like to visit one day? - Japan (from North to South!) - Ireland Is there a talent you would like to have but that you sadly don't have? ...drawing... I like to drawing... I draw... but I'm not even half as good as I would like to be. And I wish I would have a talent for certain kinds of drawing... those kinds of drawings that are liked by someone I really like... (why talking around it: I would love to be able to create works that Finn Bálor likes (like the works of Lora Zombie [and... I'm jealous of sinip759... it slowly gets painful for me to see how often he likes and shares her work... but that's my personal problem... I have absolutely no problem with sinip and her work, it's the opposite, I enjoy her work too]) I know that you are cautious about what you eat but is there something you can't go without? When you have a "cheat day" (if you allow yourself days like that) what do you go for? I wrote those questions for Deseray... so this one doesn't really fit me... because in my life every day is a "cheat day"... I'm not a healthy eater, I definitely eat too much sugar. I can't go without sweets like chocolate, cookies, wine gums / gummi bears, ice-cream (I love ice-cream!)... (...at the moment I sadly can't afford buying me the sweets I long for... but I'm looking forward to the moment in which I can...which will hopefully come one day...) Without a special topic: - what do you love? - Music! - Clear, starry nights... a bright moon... - rainbows... - Days on which I smile more often than I cry... (which are rare) (...seems like I stay a little shallow here... the answer to what I hate will get a little deeper...) - what do you hate? The inequality and injustice in this world. There are so many people that only have a very little and then there are some that already have everything, more than they need and that still scream for more and sadly this world is damned unfair... often people who deserve the best don't receive it... In a world ruled by money, a good heart often is a burden and not advantage... What does a person need to be liked / loved by you? A person needs to spark something in my heart. I can't define or describe this "something"...I think it is something that only I can feel for someone else... (and I assume that we all have feelings that only we know... because no two people in this world think and feel the same way) You can be a perfect, beautiful person, if things you do and say don't reach my heart, I will never love you. What / who inspires you? What / who motivates you? The people I love... What / who can make you happy when you are feeling sad? Music is my answer here too What is the most important lesson you have learnt in your life so far? - Whoever said "Zeit heilt alle Wunden" (in English: “Time heals all wounds”) was a liar... Because in my life: the wounds of today are the scars of tomorrow and the scars remind me of the wound and pain I had to go through for the rest of my life... - "You have to love yourself before you are able to love someone else" ...that's also a lie... because I really dislike (sometimes really hate) myself and I think that I'm still able to love... *** I have to say that asking these questions was much easier than answering for me... *** - The BÁLOR within 2019.01.09

#...about myself #...blogging about my life

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padfootagain · 4 years

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The King And You (VII)

Part 7: Farewell

Here comes a new chapter for my Caspian series! Our poor King is going through a lot… but he's building his team up and oh dear, what a team…

I hope you'll like this new chapter!

Word Count: 2504

You talked with Agatha for what felt like hours. Caspian disappeared in the distance, and you wanted to follow him, but the old woman stopped you. She argued that he had a lot to take in, that he needed time. You guessed she was right.

So, you walked back inside, and talked. She told you everything she knew about her mother's family: her sister and brothers dying when they were still so young, the stories they believed in. And for a reason she couldn't fully comprehend, Agatha believed in them as well.

And it sounded crazy. Utter madness. Bananas.

But no matter how many times you turned the story around and around in your head, you couldn't find any better explanation. Maybe you were being conned by a pair of very convincing criminals?

Then, why did your heart tell you it wasn't so?

Narnia. Aslan. Wars. A white witch. Winter. A stone table. Telmarines. Talking animals. A star. The Dawn Treader…

None of it made any sense.

With doubt still blurring your thoughts and questions twirling around your mind, you took a look at the time on your phone. Caspian had left more than an hour before. It was more than time to go looking for him. After all, God knew what kind of troubles the man could get himself into.

You gave your phone number to Agatha and told her to stay home, in case he would come back. Meanwhile, you would drive around the neighbourhood in his search.

You passed tall red trees, and pretty white houses of a too-perfect street. White fences were all that was missing to render a classic American neighbourhood. Above you, the sky was getting grey with clouds heavy with rain.

The distraction of your drive didn't make your mind quiet. But despite your doubts, and despite the fact that you couldn’t believe Caspian's and Agatha's tale, you couldn't find a way to believe that they had ill intentions either. So, maybe they were both crazy, nevertheless, you couldn’t just abandon Caspian like this. After all, he had been nothing but nice to you since he had stumbled into your life. It wasn't fair to simply abandon it, your conscience couldn't allow you to act like this.

Twenty minutes passed and you couldn't find him anywhere. You were starting to fear that something might have happened to him. He could have been attacked, or hit by a car, or kidnapped, or simply lost his way which, given his global appearance and attitude, was already a disaster…

You almost missed his form sitting on the grass, under a maple tree. You parked your car quickly and hurried towards him, but as you approached his motionless figure, you slowed down your pace. There was something quiet and still around him, a saddened aura that you felt reluctant to disrupt, so you approached cautiously, stopping a couple of steps away from him. You stood there for a moment, silent and as motionless as him, your eyes on his shoulders and the back of his head.

"Caspian?" you called in just a whisper.

But he didn't react at all.

"Are you okay?"

Again, your words were left unanswered.

So, you slowly closed the distance between the two of you to sit by his side. He didn't turn to look at you, didn't move at all to acknowledge that he had as far as noticed you were there. His gaze was set on a random point of the horizon, and you were sure that his eyes saw without looking. It was written all over his face that he had been crying for a long time.

You wanted to say something, but found yourself at a loss for words. You merely sat uncomfortably next to him instead, searching for things to say that seemed to fly out of reach every time you opened your mouth.

As you lacked words, you reached to hold his hand instead. His fingers were cold and calloused, but reassuring, for a reason you couldn't fathom. After a moment, he reciprocated your gesture.

And he was grateful that you didn't try to reassure him with empty words about feelings you couldn't understand. He didn't need someone to tell him that things would be alright, that they understood, that he wasn't alone…

Because things would not be alright. Because you didn't – couldn't – understand. Because he was alone…

Did that mean that he would give up? No, he couldn't. He was King, his people needed him to find a way back home. He would fight for them to his last breath, this was a vow he would never break. But for now, he didn't need a denial of the facts. He didn't need lies to be told in reassurance. He knew that he was going to face hard times, he knew that he had lost the help he thought he could get in this world decades before. He was lost and needed to find a way back.

But then, you were holding his hand now. You were sitting on the grass with him, skeleton leaves cracking under your weight as you shifted to sit cross-legged. And just like you couldn’t begin to fathom the kind of pain he was facing, he couldn't imagine how hard it was for you to believe him. Yet, you were still here. He believed that actions spoke better than words.

As he held your hand in his too, giving it a little squeeze, as to check if it were real, he reckoned that maybe, after all, he didn't have to be alone.

"Can you stay with me, for a little while?" he asked in a shaky breath.

You gave his hand a soft, reassuring squeeze.

"Of course."

And no matter how much you tried to convince yourself otherwise, you couldn’t deny that his pain was real. No one could fake pain that well.

Could he?

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Eventually, you went back to Agatha's, and she offered Caspian and you to stay over for dinner, a simple, quiet meal that lifted Caspian's spirit a little. He was silent for most of the time, until you reached the dessert.

"I'd like to see them," Caspian broke a silence that had settled for a few minutes around the table. "Their… tombs, I mean. I'd like to go and see them."

"Well, my mother wanted her ashes to be spread in the ocean, and that's what we did," Agatha answered. "We don't have a tomb. The rest of her family is in England."

"Can we go there?"

"No, you can't," you shook your head. "I mean… you need a passport and everything to go there. And it's not like… getting a ride to New York, you have to take a plane."

"A plane? What is a plane?"

"A… mean of transportation. Nevermind," you brushed his remark away, taking a sip of water. This day had been way too crazy already for you to spend half-an-hour explaining him what a plane was, you just didn't have the strength.

"Is England very far?"

"Yes, it is."

"I see. And what about this… pass… part?"

"Passport. It's an official document that states your identity. You need one to get in and out of countries. And you'll need one to get in England. But if your whole fairy tale is true, then I guess you don't have one, do you?"

"I am afraid not."

"And you won't get one using official ways. I mean, you didn't exist before yesterday."

"And that will be a problem?"

"Yes, they want to know like… where you were born, proofs of who your parents are… and your parents aren't even of this world, are they?"

"No, no… they weren't. I see, that is a problem indeed."

"No, you can't leave the country. I'm sorry, but there's no solution."

"But I need to walk in the Pevensies' footsteps. Go where they found their own passages to Narnia. Maybe one of the doors is still open."

"You can't go to England."

"Actually… I might know someone who could help us get the documents we need," Agatha quietly said.

Both you and Caspian looked at her, but if the King stared at her with hope in his eyes, your gaze was filled with confusion.

"I… might know a man who can get us the papers. We… dated. A long, long time ago. But we kept in touch, and… well, he owes me."

"Who is he?" you asked.

"Roger. His name is Roger O'Malley, and… well… I might have helped him run away from the police a few decades ago."

"He's a criminal?!"

"Well, you said yourself that we couldn't use official channels for this, they will just ask a ton of questions that we cannot answer. Roger must know how to find a passport, I'm certain of it."

"That… is the craziest idea, ever. What did he do anyway, this Roger?"

"Oh, nothing violent. He worked for this… businessman in Chicago and then in New York."

"You mean… he's a mobster?"

"Oh, he's retired now!"

You looked at Agatha with wide eyes, before throwing your hands towards the ceiling in desperation, huffing, your voice turned high-pitched in your near-panic state.

"Oh, yes, of course! Pardon me! If he's retired now, then all is fine! We should definitely ask a retired mobster to get us fake IDs and passport for this gentleman here, who will answer, if asked about his profession, that he's a Duke in a magical land called Narnia! For proof, he walks around dressed up like in a musketeer! You're right, that is a brilliant idea. Actually, the only glitch we could get in this perfectly sensible plan is passing the security checks at the airport with his BLOODY SWORD!"

"Actually, I'm the King of Narnia, not a Duke," Caspian corrected you, which only made your panic worse.

"Oh, pardon me, Your Highness! Of course, he's a King! That'll solve all of our problems! Maybe, as he's royalty, they'll give him a hot towel and a tiny chocolate on his pillow when we're all rotting IN JAIL!"

"Now, now, calm down, child," Agatha replied with an annoyed voice.

"This is a terrible, terrible idea," you fought back, stated a fact that seemed so obvious to you. "Don't call me to bail you and D'Artagnan here out of jail once you get there, huh?"

"Well, do you have any better plan? A single idea, even?"

And you had to admit that you had none.

You and Caspian exchanged a look. He didn't understand the whole issue, but he did get that what Agatha was offering was going against the law. However, he didn't have much choice.

"Agatha, if we contact your friend, can you promise me that no harm will come to anyone out of our actions?"

"Of course!"

"Then, I have to take the risk. Even if the way you describe, as I understand it, seems to go against some of your laws. Going to England might be my only chance. However, considering the risks you might be facing, I will travel on my own and undergo the purchase of this… passport on my own."

"I can go with you," Agatha shook her head, and her tone was final. "In fact, do you have a place to stay here?"

"He slept at my place yesterday," you answered.

"Well, then, you can stay here for as long as you need. After all, my family considered you one of their own."

Caspian gave her a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Agatha. For everything. But I don't want you to get into trouble on my behalf…"

"Nonsense! It's gonna be a lot of fun! Dear, I haven't had so much excitement in my life in a long while. And don't you worry, my dear, I'm sure we'll find a way to bring you home."

"How do we contact this… Roger?" you interrupted, bringing back the conversation towards practical issues.

"I'll call him! I have his number. You were of great help, but I will take care of Caspian now. You don't have to worry about him anymore. Nor getting into jail."

Caspian reached across the table to take your hand in his in a gentle, warm hold.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't want to be a weight…"

"Don't mention it," you mumbled, uncomfortable. "Anyone would have done the same."

Caspian gave you a warm smile.

"No, I don't reckon that's true."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yes. I think I will. Agatha will help me, you need not worry about me anymore."

You huffed again.

"You're a lot of trouble though. I think I'll keep on worrying about you for a while."

You exchanged a soft smile.

"Well, I guess… Agatha has my phone number, so if you need anything, you can call me," you offered.

"Call?"

You chuckled and showed him your phone.

"You can use that to talk to someone who's away."

"Your society is most impressive. Even if our magic is different, yours is just as strong the magic ."

"It's not magic, it's science," you replied.

"But isn't magic only science that we can't yet understand?" Agatha replied with a mischievous look, and the two of you laughed.

"I guess that's true."

You helped to clean the dishes, helped Caspian to settle down too. But then you were standing before the threshold, ready to leave without him, and you had to admit that it felt strange to part with him. If you were being honest with yourself, you even felt sad. Despite how crazy this whole ordeal was - and that you still didn't believe in his whole backstory - as you looked at him standing there, before you, giving you a warm smile while his dark eyes were tainted with pain, you knew that you would miss him.

"Good luck, then. And… call me if you need help. Otherwise, I… guess it's a…"

But your voice broke before you could say the word, and when you tried again, nothing came out but silence.

Caspian took your hand and brought it to his lips in a soft, slow movement, hesitant. As if he wasn't sure you'd let him go through with it, as if he wasn't sure it was adequate, but it felt right to do so, so he did it anyway. His lips lingered on the back of your hand for a few seconds too long, by Narnian standards of politeness, but you wouldn't have known anyway. You told yourself it was just one more eccentricity. Nothing more, despite the jolt of electricity that ran up your spine then.

He gave you one last tender smile.

"Farewell, Y/N."

You nodded, unable to understand the tears in your eyes, but you freed your hand and turned to walk to your car anyway.

You didn't look back as you drove off the street. You kept on repeating to yourself that at least, now, your life could go back to normal.

And that was a good thing, right?

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