#crookedsmilegirl

[crooked-smile-girl]

117 pounds now

And she mocks me

Barreling through my door

“Wish I could lose weight like that.”

Thanks, I guess.

You fucking cunt

I could list a mountain of evidence

How much you resemble scum

But I don’t have the energy

So instead I meet her with sarcasm

“Oh just throw up for a week each month.”

Now I’m the bitch

And let it be so

I’m too tired to deal with assholes

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #emotional abuse #emotional harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

I can’t help but feel

Like none of this is real

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #sadgirlpoetry #poetry #cutters #emotional abuse #emotional harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

“Don’t let the darkness eat you up.”

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #Spotify

[crooked-smile-girl]

I just love it when

He doesn’t take his own advice

Yells at me

Because something was done twice

But yet, if he only looked

He would’ve seen

It was already completed

By me.

While you

Were too busy

Sleeping.

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #emotional abuse #emotional harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

Don’t let it bother you

They’ll say

When they have no idea

What it’s like to feel this way

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #cutters #emotional abuse #emotional harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

Among the packing

I found a picture

Of the dead

Among the living

Only 6 remain.

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #grief

[crooked-smile-girl]

He called it gaslighting

When I point out facts

That he missed

Because he doesn’t pay attention

As I tell him

ALL the information

And instead of admitting

That he doesn’t fucking listen

He spins it

To make me the liar

Good thing I

Rehearsed my lines

And made sure they came out fine

Before he reacted emotionally

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #emotional abuse #emotional harm #whyicut

[crooked-smile-girl]

I am not my own

I do not answer

To the name

I was given

But instead

The one that you call me

The one that only you know

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #cutters #emotional abuse #emotional harm #whyicut #why even bother

[crooked-smile-girl]

Faceplant on the tile floor

Other than cold

I don’t feel anything at all

Not my jaw

Not my wrists

That broke the fall

Just cold

I close my eyes in defeat

And try to remember

To breathe

Hollow heartbeats

Turn into a thunderstorm of feet

All running towards me.

Once again I’ve passed out. Rushed to the emergency department where I passed out again. And of course, just like always, no one can tell me a damn thing. Years spent in medical school and I am somehow a miracle of science. Fuck this shit.

I should have held my breath

There in the bathroom

All alone.

Air is getting too expensive these days

It’s out of my price range

And I’m spent.

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry

[crooked-smile-girl]

It’s beginning to cost too much

For me to remain alive

To work all fucking day

To pay the bills

From when I survived

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #sadgirlpoetry #depression #bad thoughts #thoughtsofatiredmind #thoughts of death

[crooked-smile-girl]

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #musictherapy #musicismemories #Spotify

[crooked-smile-girl]

Counting quarters

To pay for medication

So my heart doesn’t stop.

Is this bullshit worth it?

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts

[crooked-smile-girl]

#musictherapy #crookedsmilegirl #mental health #Spotify

[crooked-smile-girl]

Two cuts

Three burns

And a bruise

I hate it here

Among the living

Among the used

Among those grieving

Among those mourning the loss of you

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #cutters #self harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

I mean really

Wtf did you expect

Did you really think

It would be any different

This time around

Stupid fuck

Grow the fuck up

#crookedsmilegirl #mental health #triggerwarning #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #cutters #emotional abuse #emotional harm

[crooked-smile-girl]

Feeling rough

Things

Are piling up

And I’ve just about

Had enough

But lucky them

And lucky you

Can’t find a blade

To pull it through

My skin

And tendons

Can’t cut

deep enough

To make it to

My heart

Just here

On the outside

Picking at the strings

To shred the things

Holding me together

And this time successfully

Take it all apart

#triggerwarning #mental health #crookedsmilegirl #dangerousthoughts #poetry #sadgirlpoetry #cutters #emotional abuse #emotional harm #my thougts