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lazyalani · 11 months

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| Bachira Meguru × [GN!Reader]

| We all need someone to stay

| Angst, comfort, hurt/comfort, short, not proofread

| Summary: He drowns in his own thoughts, so you pull him out.

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

Hear the fallen and lonely, cry out

"Ne, [Name]-chan, have you ever thought about what would've happened if you never came to that abandoned field?"

You stopped mixing the batter and blinked at him. "No, not really. There's just no reason to, why?" You stared at him.

He was sitting on the couch, his arms resting on his knees, head down, and eyes blank.

"[Name]-chan, you were the only one who truly accepted me despite my weird antics. Despite me, being me." Oh how much it hurts you that he talks about himself in such a way.

"Meguru, you say that as if there's something wrong with you being you." You frowned and washed your hands, removing your apron.

"[Name]-chan, people don't like me. I'm not popular nor normal. Ofcourse you'd say I'm perfectly fine the way I am but it's really fine, [Name]-chan, I know I'm weird--" You hugged him.

You put his head on your chest and he is confused. "[Name]-chan?"

Will you fix me up?

"You idiot. You absolute idiot. Ofcourse I'd say you're perfectly fine the way you are, because you are!"

His eyes widened at your outburst.

"I don't want those other popular, normal, muscular guys, Meguru, I want you. I want you because you're you."

He peeks from your chest and tried to look at your face, but he can only see your neck, your head is hovering his as you hug him tight.

"Who cares if you're weird? I like you weird! I mean, not bad weird but good weird! Who cares if I get spooked sometimes when you say your monster is sitting next to me or smiling at me? Who cares if I get surprised when I wake up and I see your smiling face staring at me? Who cares if you're overly clingy? Who cares if you're overly lively? Who cares if you're always happy and relaxed? I love those about you! I love you because you're Bachira Meguru!"

A tear falls from his eye.

Will you show me hope?

You feel it and immediately panic, letting him go and thinking you've suffocated him or something. "Meguru! I'm so sor--"

You get cut off as he suddenly hugs you and you get pushed, laying on the couch with him hugging you, hiding his face on your neck so you don't see him crying.

You don't see it, but you feel it. His eyes cascading down from his eyes to your neck.

"What if you never went to that park? What if you never saw me? What if you never talked to me first? What if you never came back the next day? What if we don't meet? Then I'd be lonely all over again. I'd be the boy who gave up making friends and accepted his fate of being alone. Those thoughts always ring in my head. I can still hear the voices of the people talking shit about me, [Name]-chan, and I don't know what to do anymore." He cries on your neck.

You tear up and caress his hair, kissing his head.

"The faces of the people who look at me with those judging looks, their critism whenever I pass to my monster, the hatred in their eyes when I celebrate my victory, the 'whispering' voices of people calling me names, they all still live in my head. I can't get them out. So what if you never came to light me up again, [Name]?"

At the end of the day, we're helpless

"There will be no what ifs, Meguru, because I will always come. No matter what life we live in, no matter how far we are from each other, no matter what storn comes, no matter what comes between us, I will always be there. So just always wait for me at that park, okay? I'll come, no matter what. I will always come to light you up."

He raises himself up with both hands on the side of your head and leans down to kiss you.

The kiss is salty, but warm. It's messy, but careful. It's sloppy, but comforting. It's sticky because of the tears, but loving.

"[Name]-chan, please, help me. I don't want them in my head, anymore." He cries out to you again.

You push his bangs away from his eyes and kiss his forehead, cupping his cheeks. "There is no need to think about them anymore, because what matter is you're here, with me. Let's fill that head of your happy memories, alright?"

He nods, rubbing his eyes, and for a moment, you see him back in the day, when you were both children, crying because of his stupid teammates and ranting to you.

You smile and kiss him again, cherising this side of him, where he opens up and lets you help him.

"There is no reason to think I'll be lonely anymore, is there? Because you're here with me, [Name]-chan."

Can you keep me close? Can you love me most?

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock fluff #blue lock angst #anime #bllk #bllk x reader #bachira meguru x reader #bllk bachira #bachira meguru #bachira x reader #lazyalani

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joanna-fake-name · 2 years

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Ok so I'm bored so here is a complete and piled listen of all the reasons I'm neurodivergent (some more likely then others) and need to do research into getting a diagnosis:

-im literally xenogender, something for neurodivergent folks

-i do dinosaur hands sometimes

-I am writing this list??

-I think I'm faking it (by it I mean everything I do in life it hurts so much send help)

-brain go to fast

-I want to stop the thinks

-I constantly have music playing in my head

-I feel like I have my Regular Thoughts brain, we're i get the first thoughts, and then the Brain where it's almost like I say them to myself and repeat them and have conversations

-I'm a people pleaser

-I do uncontrollably skin picks

-I also do other things that are like conscious but also not really

-when I am alone and consume to much media for to long I no longer No how to function social

-I make music videos in my head when I listen to music, always

-I have relistened to heathers. To much.

-I start to many hobbies wich I am told is a neurodivergent thing

-Video: "Which neurodivergent are you: [trait] or [other trait]" Me: "haha im so [trait] Inner me: your not neurodivergent??"

-I desperately want a therapist

-I can't type

-I frequently say I'm going to kms but like not really but also I'm being overdramatic

-I'm over apologetic

-OFF TOPIC BUT I ACCIDENTALLY JUST INSERTED AN IMAGE OF A CRYING POOP RN AND IM SOBBING

-I thrive is casual conversation with strangers but anywhere else I am in shambles

-I physically can not take critism

-I'm freaked out by everything

-the urge to m o n c h

-I have no attention span

-hands must always be doing something

-I want a tik Tok multiplayer

-Apperentky repeating "I want to go home" even if your home when sad is a neurodivergent thing??

Btw I'm gonna keep adding to this

#neurospicy #neurodivergencies #adhd stuff

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shizukathefox · 1 month

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Apology about the vent of hurting my cat

I permanently deleted the vent hurting my cat down the stairs just to be more sensitive to others concerns.

I am so very sorry to everyone, I certainly didn't have any mal intent doing this and I am sorry if you felt hurt by the vent, I decided to just delete it because I really do not wanted to hurt anyone’s feelings. I took it as someone putting words in your mouth and they're feeding you lies and you don't have much choice but to listen because no one else will have the compassion to help and you think this is the only path you can take (because there isn't really any positive). I do not hate anyone even if you say you hate me, I did a lot of horrible things irl due to my mental health so that's why I vented my feelings out for it. In the future I'll ask a wider scope of people to hopefully not run into this issue again. (I am very socially unaware so I need help understanding from others.)

I did have to report harassments because I just started to have a panic attack and it started to affect my actual health. I am not ignoring anyone, I promise. I just couldn't stop and I had to step away from the situation. I just learned to keep my mouth shut because no one listens to me regardless of what I say or if I try to explain myself. I am an abuse victim myself so that may be why I related so much to the vent I wrote. I feel incredibly invalidated and I feel like I can’t come out with my traumas due to this situation and all the assuming the worst from me. Everyone is telling me it's okay to change and heal but then the other side is telling me that hurting people and animals is wrong. I'm really conflicted I hope this response pleases everyone.

I most likely won't be venting my irl stuff as much socially. I am doing very bad in my irl SORRY it's really bad timing. I typically just post art and run but um I don't think I am very good at handling hundreds of people sending actual harassment and not critic.

Hopefully this explains some things and can please everyone and if not I hope you see that I did try to make things right. I really do care about people and their feelings and, oh and I just make art to try make people happy and try improve.

I'm sorry I had to report harassments because people started to mass target harass me and any genuine critism was hidden in the mass hate over things like personal attacks, etc. I've spoken to people about this now I hope this change is good.

Again, I’m so very sorry, hopefully this response explains things and pleases everyone on all sides. Also I ask people to use tone indicators for serious situations like this with me please, it's very hard to tell anymore theres so much. Thank you for reading and thank you so much for your patience.

I am too scared to DM someone due to harassment, death threats, etc, so I am just going to put this here. I'm sorry. I hope you understand. It’s really overwhelming. That’s why my dms are really delayed for now.

Feel free to DM me if you want to talk to me, but do not feel obligated too. I want people to comfort me. I just needed to get this out while crying. Sometimes it helps apology vents.

#apology #apology text #apology vent #sad vent #vent #ventcore #vent text #vent post #vent blog #vent tag #text by me #my text #text #textcore #text post #text blog #text tag

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blue-hair-and-pronouns-03 · 3 years

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You mean to tell me that people actually PUBLISH the things they write and don’t keep them hidden away from the world never to see the light of day?!

Get out of here with that nonsense.

#writer problems #writing #I’m a mess #how can authors do it #how #critism makes me want to cry sometimes

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shay-writing-corner · 3 years

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Well @copycatt since you say add my fav Imma go with my one true love Deuce and also Jamil because someone on discord make me into a jimp

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✵ when he first hears that you are pregnant, believe me when I say it took every fiber of his being to try not to cry in front of you, because if he cries then you cry, and it’s just gonna be a mess (don’t worry, he is very happy)

✵ he would look into human pregnancy, because merfolk pregnancy is vastly different than surface dweller (my hc is that merfolk lay eggs, well except for the mammal fish like dolphin, shark ect merfolk (those are things alright, if Azul and the tweel exist then that means a merdolphin or mersharks exist no I do not take critism))

✵ he would ask about any useful information about human pregnancy, once he realize that pregnancy can bring you so much pain, he will do anything to try to ease your pain

✵ questionable food craving? While he find it weird, but nonetheless would give it to you while also making sure you eat healthy, but will stand his ground for you to eat healthy

✵ when you feel a kick (or should I say...multiple kicks....because....you know) it will be a bit too emotional for Azul to handle

✵ he would be clingy to you

✵ when your water broke, let's just both you and Jade have to keep Azul calm while going to medical profession to deliver your baby (Floyd will be in the background amused)

✵ once you give birth to a healthy baby the room will be filled with tears (you, Azul and the baby)

✵ what a sappy couple

✵ your son will have your eyes and Azul’s hair color, he is a hybrid, so he could change to octomer form and to human in an instant...though I would tell that in another time

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✵ don’t get me wrong the man have no idea bout your pregnancy, but suspected that something happened

✵ so when he got the news, he is surprised but happy nonetheless

✵ well...he might have a suspicion or two, but not the point

✵ he always wanted to started a family so of course he does his research to the point that he is practically an expert on taking care of you, treating you with utmost care like the gentleman he is

✵ your weird food craving? wouldn’t even bat an eyelash, he just get it for you, thought he might tease you a bit about it though, he would also force suggest eating something healthy from time to time, don’t want you to get sick after all

✵ the rare time he will shed a tear is when you first feel the kick

✵ when you need to cuddle, he will happily oblige, he is not much of a coddler but if it makes you feel good, then he will hold you while rubbing your belly gently

✵ when the time is come, he will be by your side all the time, overprotective even, it hurts him since you are in a lot of pain, so he will go feral if anyone tries to go near you he will control it to the medic profession thought, but will keep a close eye in case they do anything funny

✵ when you give birth is another rare moment where he will shed a tear

✵ your daughter will have your hair color with a teal side bangs, and a mix of his gold eye color and your eye color

✵ same deal a hybrid

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✵ when you tell the news to him, he will be ecstatic that he nearly squeezed you, but you remind him that no he cannot squeeze you anymore until the baby arrived

✵ at first would be curious when you lay the egg, but then realized that humans born differently then merfolk, so he would ask Jade about it (because of course Jade did some research about it)

✵ through out your pregnancy, he will have to hold himself back from squeezing you. So be prepare for him whining or complaining of how much he wanted to squeeze you but cannot (well at least he can still cuddle you, but gently)

✵ your weird food craving? well firstly he tease the hell out of you, and then try it himself. If he likes it, then you have to share the spoil. And if he doesn’t he will say you have bizarre taste (blame the pregnancy). and he pretty much let’s you eat what you want

✵ he would be oddly quite when you first feel the baby kick, and then will just hug you and say how happy he is (listen, there is going to be an intimated moment)

✵ while he dislike that no cannot do much things that you normally do (you can no longer be squeezed by Floyd, which is a bit of a blessing, you also have to take a break every now and then) he will be there to entertain you

✵ and yeah he will be very over protective of you, his feral side (well...him in general) would go bat shit crazy if anything happens to you

✵ you notice how heavy you are carrying the baby, not to mention, you could feel the baby kick rapidly, so you and Floyd head the doctor only to find out that you’re expecting not one but two babies

✵ Floyd is ecstatic at the news, and will brag about it to Jade and Azul (congratulation, you have two gremlins children and a chaotic eel for a husband, may you survive)

✵ when your water broke, he at first have no idea what he is doing, until you or Jade tell him to take you to the hospital

✵ same as Jade, would he feral and crazy protective of you, even nearly bite one of the nurse (Floyd, you have to let the medical profession to get close to your shirmp to deliver the baby)

✵ he will get emotional and hug one of the baby close as you hold the other one with great love

✵ your babies are a boy and a girl, they both have Floyd’s hair color, except on their side bangs are your hair color. their eyes have one side gold, and the other is your eye color

✵ their both hybrids

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✵ when you tel him, he might be a little overwhelm but be very happy

✵ unfortunately to Jamil, they have to tell Kalim, to which make him super ecstatic and start to make huge banquet, much to Jamil dismay

✵ when I say overprotective. I mean overprotective

✵ he did his research on pregnancy and will be sure that your most comfortable

✵ like the second best caretaker (first being Jade) tears you well, will be there for you with anything that you need, help you walk maybe becoming a bit over bearing

✵ weird food cravings? he will give in to some of your craving to make you happy, but most of the time he will give you healthy food for you to eat, but sometimes you can get away with Kalim’s help

✵ quite honestly he’ll be more of a mother hen than you are

✵ he have a bit of a doubt about the child and if they have to be a servant to the Al Asim family, you have to reassure him from time to time that it’ll be alright

✵ you may or may not have tell Kalim secretly, and Kalim may or may not do something about it

✵ he will be calm mostly when you are in his arm as he rubs your belly feeling the baby kick, it’s the sweet and silent moment for the two of you

✵ when your water broke, he is already prepare. he’ll be by your side all the time and refuse to leave for a second

✵ you and him have a girl with your hair color and his eyes

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✵ he will cry of excitement at the news

✵ and soon enough he calls his mother and you and him wet to visit her and have a small celebratory dinner, she is so happy to have a grandchild to spoil

✵ he will ask his mother information about pregnancy so he can help you at anyway he can

✵ he...tries and don’t get me wrong, he’s not bad, but he is not good either, but what counts is he tries

✵ listen....you have absolute control over him, so you can get away with your food craving all day long, but at times he will try to make you eat something healthy

✵ very protective over you and would freak out over the little thing, making you have to reassure him that you are alright

✵ will be very anxious over if he’ll be a good father and worried he might disappoint, which again you will reassure him that he will be a good dad

✵ will cry when he feels the baby kick

✵ when your water broke, it’s a full on panic on Deuce side, but with his mother, he manage to stay calm adn help you through out the delivery

✵ you give birth to a boy with your eye color and his hair color

#twisted wonderland x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #deuce spade x reader #jamil viper x reader #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #deuce spade #jamil viper #twst x reader

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heartxclouds · 3 years

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Diabolik Lovers: Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal;;Part 1

[C]♡. Hello! Welcome to this blog..

This is my first try on writting my DL AU, which is called Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal if you are new to it! I think that I am experienced enough in writting so this is why I took the courage to write it! I do hope that you enjoy and follow the instructions clearly because yes, I have a rules in here- It isn't forced but you still need to view the rules. 📄

Rules;; {+ Instructions}

If you click on a OST link, you can hear the music ^^

When something is written in italic, it means that it's a wisper.

I would appreciate it if you have enjoyed the story, that you comment or like! Like that it makes me want to continue! If you need to give me constructive critism please send me a PM (Private Message).

In here there will be some spooky things so if you dislike that a lot, please proceed with caution. PS: Niko is a gypsy, that isn't meant as a slur. Niko is a girl that travels, does fortune telling and dances. So don't worry. I'm not here to offend.

If you see a edit with subtitles, read the subtitles! And if you can't see a image clear? Click on it!

Some edits are old or come from friends! I will credit them don't worry, they will be credited in the section 'Information'. And for the old edits, I'll put old in the end of the post in section 'Iformation'.

Thank you for reading the rules! I hope you enjoy this now. 🎃🍂

...

It was afternoon, at this time.. Many kids were playing. Screams of joy because of hide and seek, sometimes pain because they fell and even tears or joy because they were laughing so much. But there was one little girl that wasn't in the mood for playing. She would rather read books at this time of the day, she had secretly picked out some books out of the small library of her mother. Vampires..What were they? Monsters- Bloodsuckers- Creatures of the night... The little gypsy girl was amazed by these stories but also terrified. Welcome to the world of the small Niko Riverdale.

Winter.. It was cold but fun, Niko turned six years old not long ago. She felt like she could be a adult any second. Niko loved to play as the little adult.. But to be honest, it was scary. People always had some type of disgusted look when they spotted a gypsy, and it was like this everywhere. But on the possitieve side.. Some people could be nice and accept them, even enjoy they're dances. A gypsy was never meant to have a bad view.. Being a gypsy was seen as some kind of culture too. The priest always said that God hates gypsy's.. That if you were one, that a spirit will haunt you.. Kill you.. Destroy you. All kids from Niko's age knew the dark reality already, God? Hah.. When did God help? That's what they were thinking.. But Niko thought otherwise, she believes that God is good.

-"Mom.. Why do people hate us?"

Niko was holding the hand of her mother while they were walking back home. Reading hour was finished and Niko had hidden those vampire themed books in her bag before her mother got to see it.

-"Ah.. Don't worry about that honey.. You know.. In this world there are people that can hate you without a good reason.. That is why we need to be strong."

Her mother had felt some un-easy feeling.. Excactly, why did people hate them? She didn't know the answer herself... She held the hand of her daughter slightly tighter, they would go to the cathedral before getting back home. She entered the building and went to the small praying spot that was there. She looked at her daughter, she would need to pick a different one.. Niko went to the Maria statue that wasn't too far away from her mother.

-"My God.. I'm here to ask you questions.. I hope that I don't bother you at this moment but..Do you hate me? Or my mom..? My gypsy people..? You know.. Today some kids didn't want to play with me.. They're parents didn't want that.. Even if it was my birtday.. Hmph.. And God, I'm 6 years old now.. That's a lot, right? Hehe.. Will you please answer me..? I now pray this in the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko did the quick cross sign before walking back to her mother, that seemed to have finished her praying. Niko held the hand of her mother.. Did God hear her? Will she get the message..? Who knows.. Maybe God, had a surprise.

After getting home, having dinner and having a bath.. Niko was relaxed and ready to read some more about the nocturnal horror creatures.. Curiousity really killed the cat.. And Niko was clearly the cat in this example. The moon was up.. The beautifull blue moon that shinned in Niko's room, Niko could observe those beautifull night skies forever.. She didn't realise that is was already 2 AM, Niko would be in trouble if her parents found out that she was still up.

{[OST|https://youtu.be/9xWi_RkqYiM]}

But strangely a sound ruined the silence.. Crying.. Rather disturbing. A fenale voice? Calling out for help but it all sounded like a echo. For a kid this could be creepy looking, but for Niko.. She was worried.. Not about that sudden visit in her house of a crying voice but she was actually concerned about the feelings of the person.. Did they need to escape? Was there a killer outside? No.. Not at all. Niko got out her room and walked down the hallway.. The wood plancs made a creak sound. The more Niko approached.. The more the crying became louder. She could see now.

A woman with pretty long white hair was sitting on her knees on the floor. Her clothing was white too- She also had some kind of long blue see-through scarf, she also had white gloves, pretty ones that people always wore when they were from a rich family.. Her skin was pale, as pale as porcelin.

-"Umm.. Miss..? What's wrong? What is happening..? Are you hurt..?"

Niko was a child with good manners but it was kinda weird.. How did that woman come in? The door was locked, the windows too.. Who was this woman? Or what is she? The crying didn't stop but when Niko placed her hand on the shoulder of the beauty, then she turned around and held Niko's shoulders tightly.

-"Where is h-he?! WHERE IS HE?! I NEED HIM-?! MY CHILD.. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD?! AHHHH!!!? I WANT HIM BACK! I WANT HIM BACK?! HE NEEDS TO BE FIXED.. HE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY!! WHERE IS HE?! AHHH?!!?? TELL-?! TELL MEEEE AAHHHH!?!"

Niko felt paralyzed.. A random woman just came here and was finding her child.. Her child is broken? He needs to be fixed? That woman didn't look normal at all either.. She was way too pale for a human being.. It was dead skin colour.. She had long fangs too.. And also you could see through her..? A ghost-? A spirit?! Niko's eyes were tearing up- God, can God explain?! Why don't Niko's parents hear this?! Was she crazy?! Niko just got out the grip and ran to her room and locked it, she got on her bed and hid under the covers.

-"God please.. Make it stop.. Make it stop.. I'm scared.. Don't give me to Satan.. Not the devil, I beg you.. Do you hate me? Is this my curse now?"

This was a bad experience for a child, it could be traumatizing.. Niko was praying for this to stop, but then she heard the loud banging against her door- She was screamed.. The woman was still crying and screaming.

-"FIX HIM?! YOU CAN FIX HIM!! FIND HIM!! YOU MUST FIND HIM!?? DO IT PLEASE!!!"

Niko hugged her knees, she was way too scared to say anything or open the door. Niko cried in her sleep.. In the background she could still hear the crying.. The crying of a female vampire ghost..

...

[{OST}|https://youtu.be/NvMROvgMOz0]

[C]...

It was night time, a few nights have passed since that incident and that woman always kept her awake- Screaming and crying.. Niko was hidding under the covers- Hoping that it would stop soon. She held her bunny plush close, it was a white bunny with red buttons as eyes.. It clearly was a old design, but she loves it. The banging on the door soon stopped.. But it replaced with a wisper. Was Niko getting crazy? Hearing wispers in her head.. That made Niko just hug her plush tighter.

-"Go to the forest.. In the forest you'll find a mansion.. I need you to fix him.. Please"

Niko looked down- She letted out a sigh.. Even if her parents forbid her to go out at night- She would do it- Like that the nights without sleep will stop..Maybe. Niko puts on her small brown boots and then got out the house after grabbing her plushie and wearing a yellow jacket, it matched her eyes perfectly. Now, Niko got in the dark forest.. Why did she forget the flashlight?? She hugged her plush tighter.

-"It's you and me mister carrots.. We will finish this.."

You could hear in Niko's voice that she was scared- She planned to get back home and get the flashlight.. But it already was too late- Her house wasn't visible anymore. Was she lost-? Niko started to tear up, she felt stressed and she could sense that there was danger close by. Niko didn't trust the sound of breaking twigs and leafes that were being crushed.. Without further hesitation, she started to run- She didn't care that she could see nothing- Her mind told her to run. And she was lucky that she started running now, because the hungry wolves were out now, howling and groaning, they wanted the eady prey that was there now.. And the prey was Niko. A girl her size and her age was as easy as catching a mouse.

{ [Wolf howling|https://youtu.be/66HKBdZe_WA]}

-"HELP!! PLEASE SOMEBODY!! WOLVES!! HELP!!"

Niko was screaming while running- But nobody was there to save her- But God must have heard her wish.. The mansion- It was there- Right infront of her! Niko quickly openned the door and got in. She heard the wolves outside, they were howling and sniffing where she was hidding. There was a moment of silence soon.. Were they gone? Niko peeked through the window to see if those carnivores were still there and it seemed that they dessapeared.

-"Hehe!! No dinner for you guys!"

Niko giggled happily, she was happy to stay alive- But soon after her short victory dance, she felt something.. No.. Someone behind her- She gulped and then slowly turned her head to see a tall man.. His eyes were some type of dark pink and his hair was purple- He also was wearing glasses. Niko stepped back as her eyes were wide from how scared she was- Will he hurt her..?

-"Entering the house of someone like that is really dissrespectfull. You need to learn some manners."

The male was getting straight to the point- His expression was serious and he clearly wasn't happy with Niko's action from before. Niko quickly openned the door and ran out- This was unexpected. She never knew that someone lived there.. No wonder that it looked so clean.

The man with glasses sighed as he watched a albino with the corner ofhis eye.

-"Oh.. So you did decide to come for dinner. I am waiting for your apologize. The dinner is cold and everyone is back to their rooms."

The purple haired man walked away, slightly annoyed. He puts his gloves on in a more comfortable manner as he was walking. The albino narrowed his eyebrows as he gave off a 'tch' noise, he just got back from the garden not long ago. Who was that girl though? How did she find this hidden mansion? He wondered.. But he won't think about it too much. He went to the dinning room.

Meanwhile, Niko had ran away from the mansion.. Fear was described in her eyes. But then- Her house, she saw it.. And yet, she didn't run far away from the mansion. Magic? How? She turned around.. Only trees were seen. How in the world? The small brunnette ran quickly to her home and her parents waited for her.. Crying tears of relief and ordering her to never ever do that again but.. Will she keep that promise-?

✧.*ೃ༄9 Years later...

The sound of the flutes and tambourines filled the streets, the gypsy's were there.. And it seemed that Niko and her sisters were the ones to dance. The same thing happened once again, for some the disgusted look and for some others there was the look of enjoyement. The gypsies how flexible and gracious moves- They always had a beautifull performance in mind. After the dance performance, niko and her sisters earned some money.. They will use this for food and clothing... And for Niko's mother, Rei. She was doing fortune telling to get money for the small house that they have.

The golden eyes of the brunnette spotted a animal..A cat..A white one to be specefic. She stared at it for quite a while- The cat looked at Niko and purred before walking away. Niko sighed a bit as she furrowed her eyebrows. Then Niko realised that her siblings were already going back home- She better quickly catch up with them.. Niko openned the door of the house and watched her father, he was laying on his usual dark blue couch.. She sighed and went to him, seeing that he was sleeping for bow. Niko smiled softly and puts a blanket over her father.. You could sleep better if you were cozy and warm. Niko remembered that she needed to handle something quick- She went to the door and openned it.

-"Where are you going?"

Her big brother John saw that she was planning to leave..Even if it was almost dinner time. He placed the wood in the fire, it was spring and yet it felt like it was still winter.

-"I'm going to the church.. I'll be back home soon though, see ya..!"

Niko got out once more and step by step made her way to the holy building..To be honest, the church was scary.. All dark colours and paintings of suffering- Even some god statues were scary. But Niko always felt much calmer when she saw the Maria statue. She closed her eyes and held her hands together.

-"God.. It is already nine years and three months that this ghost is haunting me.. The cries, they scare. Please help me..Give me a sign to freedom. In the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko could not live forever with this kind of ghost that visits her each night. Each time begging to save her child more specefictly her son.. What was this all about? She letted out a sigh- A sad one.. A concerned one. Was this all in her head? Was Niko getting crazy? Her parents and siblings didn't realky believe her.. Her mother did but she didn't know what to do. She rubbed her forehead and just went back home after doing the little cross sign. Niko really believed that god exists.. That someone is watching you.. Sins, Actions, Desires..Wishes. It was scary and yet so releaving in her opinion. After having dinner and a family talk, it was time to prepare for bed. Niko took a shower to refresh herself, she brushed her teeth, got in a fresh nightgown and then finnaly got in bed.

{ [OST|https://youtu.be/aG-39UWA4u0]}

Niko knew what will be going on tonight, she just hoped that it will stop. Each time, she repeats that hope. 12 pm.. It's almost time, Niko's eyes stayed open- She probably won't be able to sleep this night again. This was a punishement.. Was it really though? Niko didn't know but it was horrible to go through.

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

-"W-Why can't you just leave me alone?"

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

This repeated over and over again. Niko tried to get a other answer but it still was the same the "Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.." was always repeating. Niko had enough, she will go back there, early in the morning to not get wolves or other wild animals after her.

And she really did this plan. In the morning, around 5 am, she got up and got in her red gypsy dress and she wrapped a yellow scarf around her waist, she also puts on her yellow bandana after that she had brushed her long brown hair. She took a quick toast from the kitchen and frowned. She will return back home like last time, she was sure that it would happen as planned.

-"Let's get done with this"

Niko mumbled after getting out and going to the forest. Niko could see now where she was going. It wasn't dark, it was sunny already. The brunnette tried to find the mansion, but it was nowhere to be seen. It really annoyed her, she wanted to not be haunted by that woman anymore, she didn't want to struggle anymore with it. This was going to be the end. Did she really need to wish for the mansion to appear out of nowhere??

Niko ran through the bushes but that caused her to trip, she shook her head and got up after wiping some of the dirt away. But then.. When she lifted her eyes back up to normal. It was there- The mansion that she searched for for hours long. Niko stepped towards the gates-

Niko gulped when the gates went open on it's own. This was..Magic? No way. She must be dreaming. Niko slapped her cheeks with her hands.

-"Gah.. Niko-chan.. Wake uppppp..! Owie-"

Niko stopped slapping her cheeks and took a big inhale before taking the courage to enter the territory of the mansion. A certain stress overwhelmed Niko, it was uncomfortable... As if she was going in some type of haunted mansion. The crows were watching Niko, some letting out their loud bird noises.. These type of birds were mostly around graveryards. Which made this give more of a creepy atmosphere. Niko knocked on the door and waited- She learned last time that shouldn't just enter a house/mansion out of nowhere.. But hey she had no other choice. Niko saw that the door openned.. But weirdly nobody was behind it. Anyone would be running away from this already..No? Niko would have loved to do that but she really wanted to get the spirit away from her. So- Niko got in and looked around..

-"Helloo?? Someone here..? Uh.."

{[OST|https://youtu.be/_iF7lkXKHlA]}

Niko wanted to check first of course. And yet, there was no reply.. Maybe they weren't home? The brunnette wanted to know what the woman meant. 'Make him happy' 'Fix him' 'He needs you', her only wish. The spirit meant a person? Of course- Niko facepalmed. The brunnette still felt that same uncomfortable feeling, that feeling of being watched. This place wasn't safe.. It wasn't safe at all!! Niko had shivers running down her spine. Blood.. Blood running down the walls, Niko's visions made her think that.. This mansion.. It had bad secrets.. Secrets that nobody should ever know about.

Run..

Niko's mind kept telling her to run. Run for your life. Run for you freedom before-

Niko had ran back to the front door, it won't open?! No no- This wasn't the plan. God, what did Niko end up into?! Tears ran down her cheeks as fear took her over once more, was she trapped? Was this a prank??

Niko felt a hand on her shoulder.. She hesitated to look behind, but after some seconds she did. A albino man, right there..Glaring down at her with his intimidating look. Niko could not take it anymore.. She fainted. The man catched her in time and groaned.

Run for your freedom before it's too late..

It's too late...

He snarled when he saw her exposed neck with her black chocker necklace. He seemed to hold back something- He seemed to control it for now. The man openned his lips to speak out his words;

End of episode 1... 🍂

Information section:

Time taken: Started on 6 oct 2020- Finished on 14 oct 2020.

Credits;; Story (@me); Edits (@Me) Niko at the gates (Old edit)

I hope that you enjoyed! And I also hope that you would like to follow my journey of Wrong Blood!

See you soon... 🎃

I had posted this long ago but I wanted to share it here too♡

#oc story #anime #diaboliklovers #diabolikloversoc #au #wrongblood #prisonnedbridal #story #fanfiction #ocxcanon

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weabbynormalblog · 3 years

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Childhood trauma=Adult Survivor

The things we tell ourselves. Be careful for what you wish for. Its really important to stop crying over shit you can't change or control.

I know its hard. Don't do this don't do that etc. Suffering is necessary especially if your a Buddhist and certainly if your human.

The Sercret, The law of attraction, the latest buzz words, you'll catch more bees with honey, that's a fact. Act now! Try this! Find the easy way out? Is there an easy way? No decision is still a decision. Stay, go, turn in circles, pondering the all of its entirety. All vying as your solution. Yes like attracts Like. FACT Belief overules like. Thats why "This shit of attracting is all wrong!". " Hello? Belief is everything!" Its our level of personal experience that is my "now" domain. I'm the God here in my life in this body today. I believe what I believe till I believe otherwise...I say the human experience should be all-inclusive, empathetic, understanding and supportive. Most people and humanitarians would agree. That's not how nature works. Survival of the fitess. Do or die. Like attracts like and I get tackled and body slammed to the ground. Why? Am I a bad person because of "xyz"? Nope. Did I do something to someone else? No. This time it was all because I was mad, triggered and I exploded; had a verbal melt down. The neighbor was disturbed by my authentic emotions. No nukes were sent, no one is getting hurt here. Just venting and trying to work out my anger. Not to hold shit in and to stop the rings of abuse. Clearly the other person in the room was overwhelmed too. Im trying to solve some issues instead I get yelling and fuck yous. I know this is not my fault!!!??? I know the whatever happened to me. "Insert major life changing event here" I am changed there is no doubt...nothing worked out as I hopped or wished it. Even so I took all steps necessary and just the same outcome. Still void, suffering and unremarkable. Yet I am where I am. No further along or better or worst off. Cha cha cha! And I must do without and put up with injustice. Denied!!! All my emotions are tied up in a neat, tight, the most perfect, best ball of raw ugly emotions on a kitchen timer ever ...I can't talk to anyone about anything, thier shackles get up and they go on the defensive, then arguing and me walking away because again I am unable to communicate what I need and overwhelmed again by my situation. Unable to communicate what is necessary for us solve our issues to move on together or apart. Grrrrr This is so common for us with brain injury, PTSD and many other host of mental health issues. There is so much that needs to be said that it gets left unsaid. Often its too late for those in need. Its very difficult to relate and communicate effectively beyond our frustration with others. We don't have the copping tools or vocabulary to express it in times of great frustration or in dire situations specifically. Am I doing something wrong? How do I change it? I must also learn to protect myself as well. So I try to diffuse with humor. So hey dial it back a thousand buddy, calm down~ me im doing my breathing exercise "listen I got high blood pressure" in hopes they back down and talk calmly and nope. Another deep breath counting on the in to 5 hippopotamus hold 6 out 7 or 9 hippopotamus depending on my stress level at the time. Look I got a Brain injury, cant we get along? Meet half way? Can we talk later? When were not angry? No? Then just leave me alone and finally I get to walk away having dealt with someone within conflict as effective as possible. Progress for me even though nothing was resolved ~ yes theres more pain and more frustration. Live and try again tomorrow or move on. When being in a place of anger thats all you can relate to, you are not able to understand anything else? Some can some can't. Im working on my flexibility, trust, bettering my health, down to my now moment. They want some kind of resolution and they end up dragging me back under again with things that aren't helpful for me, no truth, no resolution and just more critism and blaming. Not productive. Toxic people thrive in thier emotional power. Next step then. If they can not find the same patience you need to work on "issues" then work on improving your boundaries. Refuse to discuss issues when angry, make time to talk to suit

everyone. Agree to listen and then be heard. Set a timer. Be open, be reserved to be more distant from other people emotions and be more grounded with your own. Recognize and hone in on your own emotions. Practicing mindfulness, meditation, a healthful regime, socializing that benefits you too is necessary to being a good human. Im so tired of the fucking ripples that keep all my family apart already...All of it stems from the abuse and damage to the core of my soul that left rings on my childrens' lives as well. My Maternal Grandmother was in the Holocaust that tends to mare your parenting skills and the ripples expand. 3 to 4 generations of children no longer speaking to thier mothers. Im sure thier mothers were not to blame. No one protected me either. I was given up for adoption. I was abused. It happens.Thats ok I'll work with what I got. It can end there. No need to add to a bad situation. Maybe the 1person I sent off had my back. All because I promised Daddy Warbucks to make sure my best friend got on that plane. I understand I haven't been as good a friend to myself than I have to others. I was very self sacrificing like everything was my fault. Ive turned that bus around. At the end of the day you may think nothing matters. You matter! This world is nothing without your unique personality in it. Yet here you sit alone in fears with tears streaming down into rivers...I don't know about you but Im tired of wet feet. A lifetime of abuse and suffering very often at the hand of others. I over compensated for everything. Even my language supported it. It did surprised me on the face of Oliver that day. It was painful and it revealed more of the abuse of self to me often forgotten in the past similar moments of thier upbringings. Aha! PTSD, ADHT, me with Dyslexia no doubt I suffered along with my children. 11 years later we are finally starting to do the work that should of been done back then. No one was ready. I would of made my son sit at the table during dinner. Pressured my husband to enforce our agreed rules. Took time to feel and deal with the loss of Pearl, our marriage and business ...trying to understand our feelings, deal with our mental health issues Before seemed impossible, I never gave up on my family. i gave them the space they needed. Now theres Covid restrictions and passports. This stupid ass greedy human world. And now geography is still in our way. Its a lot and still only a fraction of what some humans suffer from the hands of other humans. Very sad. Friends will come and go. I know its what needs to happen. The toxic people have to learn thier lessons too. Next step is slow down give yourself some space and peace. Deep breathing till you feel you can respond when dealing with conflict. Or make another time to work on it. Do things at your own pace, no excuse needed they will wait, they feed off of it. Practice beneficial things. Like being self sufficient, its a struggle worthy of the time and effort. Im working to overcome my issues. I now know that's not the way that love or friendship should work. I ask why me what did I do to deserve such torture? I remind myself, it's only 1 part of the journey. Everyone hurts, cries and dies. Love should bring out the best. Not the worst. They are a lousy mirror right now. Thats ok we can still move forward. I can forgive them for what they were not capable of. I love them inspite of it all. As is, as it always has been. They were only capable of showing the negative even when I worked so hard to stay positive and be a good example. If not me then who? Critisim everywhere. No solutions only problems. They beat me down at every turn...I'm still breathing. Everything's a contest and no one ever wins. If you can't do this, then how are you going to do that? Why are you judging me and why do I care so much? I care not to be in conflict and this is what is driving or rather coloring my reality. I avoid conflict like Covid. My childhood trauma that I thought I dealt with years of therapy and moved on from was rearing its ugly head yet again. How

do I slay the beast for all time? My limiting behavior needed more help. So I needed to build a better foundation for myself. One built on everthing in its own time with practice, patience,acceptance, learning and more growth. So I won't have to walk away from conflict ever again. I can lean in and help us grow together as a couple or as a family or be what the other human needs positively in thier now moment. Sometimes its not about us, its about giving back with what we have learnt. I know it sucks that we have been thrown to the odds of fate to do better apart. Its not thier fault, or mine either. Yet heres me litterally paying for all of it. With my resources, energy, health and sanity. History has a way of slapping you in the face. Yes Im woke as fuck! Your opposition yes they too pay with thier blood, sweat and tears. Perhaps never on the same page or kiss or moment. At times my heart is so broken. Doubting thoughts need correcting. Like I want nothing much to do with the whole entire human race right now, I mean you no ill will. The Talliban kill with impunity, chaos and destruction in thier wake. Do they have no wants or desires but only destruction for what they can't have? Cant we teach them how to live, love and listen? Do they not want the same as others? A healthy family, a roof over ones head and food in our bellies? Are we not all from this world? I was told this duality is healthy. The human condition needs to see destruction to appreciate growth. I still don't know how this all will help that woman with the gun pointed at her head or to watch your family be slautered in front of your eyes. No human should know this. Violence has always been a part of being human. We are a human animal. I protect my life and those that I love. Life and death I choose to fight for my life and thiers. I also choose to fight for others ...when in reality we are just fighting ourselves. I appreciate everything I lost and have. So I sit in what will be my art studio and den...I know my worth and how lucky I am. I look about all the things that are still here. Stuff holds space. Illusions fade. Love can hold space for others. Did they loved me enough to say your beautiful or even I love you? Or cared enough to be by your side during your worst moments. Perhaps a we'll get through this together? Good thing I never needed any of that. I was always able alone. I did need kindness, empathy, support and understanding. It was devastating to be met with violence. Everthing was a fight in my life. But isn't that the nature of living? Personally Im tired of the abuse. They throw it back in your face every chance they get. So it seems the lesson is to look at who Iam or are. After reflection its our belief of who they are and who we are in conflict that decides the winner. Can they learn to look beyond winners and loosers? Meet us half way? Walk a mile in my shoes. I know I can. Its going to take lots of patience, proactive support and some serious housework and cleaning to shape up humanity on this world. I'm doing my work. Im not on this rock to police or please others. What about these toxic people? Where are thier lessons? They need help too, no? Society and my answer to that, is you have to go! Then the police say no. Due to Pandemic Conditions; I am in utter disbelief but I do understand. Past abuse that was not legally recorded. Yadda, Yadda shwing shwing. What about my rights and issues? Legal up Baby! Money and the boys club is still king. Harsh as it was, there are many other moments in my life that hurt me way more. I will survive this and move well beyond. I will not let others narrow mindedness change who I am. Openess, understanding, no judgements here. Yet my generousity was used against me and in the worst way by people I love like no others. Betrayed again. 》Tip off here. Recurring themes. Betrayal can be healed. At the time you could have punched me in the stomach, I wouldn't, couldn't even feel it. There was nothing but numb and delayed reactions. "Let's face it, the best is never good enough when you

have suffered abuse and neglect." Its a deep riff and or trauma that someone else may be responsible for in your psychological makeup that makes and moulds us too. It happens a lot. Unfortunatly its more common than not. Childhood trauma. I get that. As an adult I know it's my cup to fill. Unknowingly I may have inflicted it onto others, for that I apologize. I'm still a work in progress, working on myself here. I'm the one falling, stumbling and then I get back up. The damage has been done. Please walk away, I got this now. They had affected everything I did. At the sink, the powder room, the work, the garage.....mess here and there, important things left undone...here's me trying to get them all done and save the world too in one breath. No wonder its too big, too heavy and we all need to lift. The first step is admiting ill be ok, I've got my back. I'll get through this like everything else with tears, journaling and a hot beverage. I send strength and courage to those in need. You will find a way to cope, help and move on. Believe! I'll leave that guitar right there as a reminder of my shit and thiers. Along with the 7k check and your ego at the door. Let go of all expectations, broken words and promises. The stuff they said they would do...that they never did. You want something done? Do it yourself. Can't do it all then get the professional that you need.

I understand you are broken, we all are. The catch is you have to fix it and fill it. Talk to someone you trust or write it down, talk it into a recording app...whatever help you need you deal with it in a positive way 7f you can't then look that shit up. Own your shit and get on with living! You can do this! If you live in fear find a way to empower and protect yourself. Just remember we are just human here, right now. No super powers, no agents for the world or our times. Be humble, be open, heal yourselves and then help heal others. 1 person and 1 step at a time. Like the green grass that's brown in the spring, with water, care and nutrients in the fall it will be a sea of green. Small steps add up to big changes over time. Break it down. Carve out time for happiness practice. 15 minutes a day just you sitting in peace and quiet. Every step you take from here on will go in a positive, proactive solution oriented manor or not at all. It's what you choose to do《Tip. Choose better thoughts and food choices. Work on 1 thing at a time. This is what micromanagement is good for; on yourself. Yes we can be success and happy in life without anyone, that doesn't mean we should. We need to trust eachother and work together. We learn so much from conflict so don't fear it. Its what helps us grow and learn when we become stagnant.

#Rising above abuse #Mental illness healthy choices #Be the master in your life #Embrassing Conflict #Conflict resolution #Living with childhood trauma

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