#crazy pig design

[goodlucksock]

Guinea pigs are terrible at keeping secrets. It only takes a few short wheeks before everyone knows.

Guinea Pig socks available at GoodLuckSock.com

#socks #novelty socks #novelty sock #good luck socks #sock shop #crazy socks #fun socks #sock design #guinea pig #guinea pig love #guinea pigs #animal friends #guinea pigs of tumblr

[chippiparai]

i know potato is pretty much the only molcar with fleshy pink toned windows but UGHHHHHH THEYRE SO GOOD... i can not interpret it as anything other than translucent(in universe i suppose lol) hardended tissue. Oughhh....

#i want to live in a world where Guinea pigs have that. more than anything #this isnt some crazy astute observation im 90% sure the designers had thought of this and like ... maybe its too much for a babies show idk #but its so cool to think about.... i don't think molcar repair was a subject in the show but id love to see that this season.... or at least #some confirmation #on whether or not the molcars are purely organic !!!

[greatooglymooglyyy]

The Last Ride Chapter Two (AU Cowboy!C.Sturniolo)

series masterlist

summary: when spoiled and sheltered city girl Y/N finds herself in running in the wrong crowd, her dad gives her an ultimatum. it's either spend the summer of her gap year on her uncle's ranch or face being cut off and finding a job. just when she thinks it can't get any worse, she meets Chris, the brooding farmhand who thinks he knows her type. but as the summer goes on, they both realize there may be more to the other than meets the eye.

requested and advised by @rootbeerworshiper

a/n: ok remember when i said this chapter wasn't gonna be that long? i lied. but i love y'all if that helps. also thx so much for 500 followers. that's unreal.

contains: arguing, general ranch activities, cussing, not really anything crazy, 2.6k words

“Rise and shine, city girl!”

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I peel open my eyes and squint at the annoying figure in my doorway who’s flicking the lights on and off.

“Chris. Please fuck off.” I mumble, rolling over and yanking the covers over my head. I don’t even know what time it is but from the lack of sun pouring in through the curtains, I know it’s too damn early.

“C’mon now. Get up. You’re gonna wanna get a good breakfast in before we start.” He urges but I just reach out from under the blanket and shoo him away.

“Yes! I was hoping it would come to this.” Chris says, sounding way too excited for my liking. I scramble up in suspicion just in time to see him lifting a bucket of water over where my head was.

“Do it and die!” I yell and he grins in response, lowering the bucket.

“Thought you’d see it my way.” He pauses for a second squinting. “Are you wearing fuckin’ Gucci pjs?” He asks, his voice dripping with disbelief.

“Why don’t you mind the business that pays you?” I grumble, throwing my legs off the bed and into my house shoes so he will leave.

“Unfortunately, I am.” He deadpans. “Get dressed. And I swear before the lord, if I see anything designer, I’ma push you into the pig sty.”

“I’m not an idiot, you know!” I call before he can close the door. He looks over his shoulder, eyes catching on my fuzzy slippers before he answers.

“We’ll see.”

He clicks the door shut and I get out of bed, heading to my suitcase in a bit of a panic. I throw it open, hoping that I managed to pack at least one outfit that will work but cursing under my breath when I find I didn’t. I’m about to admit defeat, mourning my Rick Owens, when I turn and look at the duffle bag my dad handed me before we left home.

He’d placed it alongside my other luggage in the foyer and I’d been so angry at him I didn’t bother to ask what it was. I unzip it and sigh with relief when I find several sets of overalls, cheap denim, and basic tees. He even added a pair of the ugliest work boots I’ve ever seen. It makes my heart lurch to think of him being this thoughtful when he was so mad at me and I almost want to call him. Almost.

I mean he did ship me off to bum-fuck Louisiana. The least he could do is give me a wardrobe. I huff in renewed indignation before heading to the bathroom to get ready.

When I’m finally dressed, I head into the kitchen where my aunt and uncle are laughing with Chris at the table.

“Good morning,” I say quietly, heading over to where Aunt Birdie has left me a plate. Chris looks me up and down before shooting me a taunting thumbs up and I glare back.

“You excited for your first day, bunny?” My aunt asks, standing to collect my uncle and Chris’ plates. I give her a look over my fork full of eggs and she laughs. “I promise it won’t be as bad as you think.”

Uncle Buck cuts in with a curt laugh, grunting as he stands up. “Now don’t you go lyin’ to the girl.” He looks at me with an apologetic smile. “Not to scare ya down the road or nothing, honey. But the first couple days are gonna be rough.” He claps a hand on Chris' shoulder, who’s been watching the interaction with a knowing smirk. “But I’m sure our boy here will take it easy on you today.”

“Of course I will.” Chris lies, nodding down at my plate. “But maybe you should eat up, darlin’. You might need it.”

***************

“Not like that!” Chris snaps, leaning over my head to run a calming hand over the cow I’m desperately trying to milk. “Don’t tug on her. Just squeeze. Firm but gentle.”

“Well, that’s how they do it in the cartoons so-” I cut myself off and roll my eyes as Chris gives me a look like I have two brain cells. “Why can’t you do it then? And I’ll watch.”

“Because then you won’t won’t learn… obviously.” He says, talking slowly as if I’m a toddler.

He walks around the front of the cow and nuzzles her nose. “Hey, Daisy girl. It’s okay. Sorry about her.”

“How do you know it’s a girl?” I ask as he comes back over and squats down next to me. Chris’ jaw drops and he blinks at me slowly.

“Holy shit. There’s no fuckin’ way-”

“Nevermind-”

“How the fuck would a male pro-”

“Let it go-”

“You think we’re out here milking a bull’s ball-”

“Chris! Just help me!” I cut in, frustration clear in my tone. He sighs and leans forward, readjusting my hand placement and showing me how to squeeze. When milk finally comes out, I squeal in excitement and look over at him. He meets my eye with an amused grin before his face drops and he pulls away.

He clears his throat and stands, wiping his hands off on his jeans. “Yeah, just keep doing that. That’s good.” He comments as I continue following his guidance.

When the cow is all milked I stand, pouring my bucket into the larger one Chris points at and give him a cocky smile. “See. I’m not so stupid after all.”

He rolls his eyes and claps sarcastically. “Mhm. Great job.” He comes over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder and turning me to the left. “Now for the other eight.”

I groan in defeat, leaning down to pick my bucket back up. Wonderful.

************

“Okay. For whatever reason, some of the hens don’t like to lay their eggs in the nesting box. We don’t sell those, we just keep them for ourselves and Birdie cooks with ‘em.” He hands me a plastic bucket half filled with hay. “Go walk around and find ‘em all.”

I smile despite myself at this. “Like Easter?”

Chris chuckles and dusts off his hands. “Sure, city girl. Like Easter.”

I roll my eyes as I start looking around the coop, spotting a few eggs in the corner. “Stop calling me city girl.”

“Oh, that’s right. You like bunny better, huh?” He teases, heading over to the nesting box and coaxing the hens out his way.

I toss a glare at his back as I continue my egg hunt. “Or you could just call me my damn name.”

“What’s the fun in that?” He walks over to me and holds up a cracked egg for me to see. “You ever get a defective one like that, you throw it out, you hear? I don’t wanna see it in my pile.”

I scoff at his bossy attitude and I throw him a salute. “Sir, yes, sir.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He grins, going back to the box. “Why do they call you that anyway? Bunny. Are you really as sweet as all that?”

“Try me and find out,” I reply, scooping up the last of the eggs. I turn and find Chris staring at me with his eyebrows raised, realizing my mistake. “I didn’t mean it like-”

He turns back to the box, cutting me off. “Nah. I think I’ma need to think of something new. Name you somethin’ that fits you better. Let me think.”

“Sure, bud,” I say, stepping closer to him as he explains the difference between the white and brown eggs.

************

“When do we get to go see the horses?” I ask as we load up the pickup truck with more food and water.

He looks over at me in surprise. “You a horse girl? Makes sense. Thought you were weird.”

I glare at him and he chuckles. “Shut up. I just liked to ride a bit when I used to come here.”

He nods and pulls up the tailgate. “It was somebody else’s day to fed ‘em.” He says before he notices the disappointment on my face. “But we can swing by. We’re going that way anyway.”

I give him a small grateful smile and he gestures for me to hop in the truck.

When we pull up to the stables, I’m almost overwhelmed by the memories that flood me. Me standing on a stool to brush my childhood horse, Pinkie Pie. My first time riding, my grandpa stuck like glue to the side of the horse and holding the reins.

I shake it off, not wanting to get emotional and head in behind Chris. He shows me around, pointing to a few of the horses and telling me their names before handing me some oat treats to feed them. I look around at their beautiful faces before I spot one that catches my attention.

She looks almost identical to Pinkie, with chestnut coloring that fades a bit darker around her neck and face. I walk up to her and extend my hand for her to eat from, keeping my palm flat.

“Hold on!” Chris starts but he drops his sentence as she gently begins to eat. I bring up my other hand and stroke her face gently.

“Hey there, gorgeous.”

Chris walks up beside me, clearly dumbfounded. “I can’t believe she’s letting you feed her by hand let alone touch her. Cinnamon’s a mean ole girl. Ain’t that right.” He reaches over the fence and scratches her neck. “She only likes me and your uncle.”

I tut and Cinnamon nuzzles her face close to mine, dropping her ears and closing her eyes.

“Well, I guess she has a new favorite,” I say with satisfaction. I play with her for a few more minutes, giving her love and some more treats before I remember Chris is there.

He’s leaning against the fence staring at us with his arms crossed, a strange dopey look on his face. I raise my eyebrows at him and he clears his throat and pushes up.

“C’mon. Let’s get back to work.”

************

“Lift with your legs and your core, woman. You’re gonna throw your damn back out.” Chris nags as I attempt to pour the pig feed into their container.

“Well, you could be a manly man and lift it for me!” I say breathlessly, grunting with effort. He comes over and snatches the bag from me, lifting it like it was a stick of gum.

“What are you gonna do when I’m not with you?” He says when he’s done, dropping the bag between his feet.

“Oh, I get the feeling you’ll always be over my shoulder so I’m not worried,” I say looking down sadly at my ruined nails. Chris notices and taps his foot for my attention. He's got his evil ass smirk on when I look up at his face and I know I’m in trouble.

“Y’know. I was gonna wait till tomorrow but I reckon it’s about time to weigh a couple of the piglets.”

My eyes widen to saucers at the idea of picking one of those dirty things up. “Chris-”

“Why don’t you go grab us one, huh? Just swing over the fence.” He’s cheesing, seeming the most entertained I’ve seen him yet; and that’s saying something.

I stomp around to the front of the pin, not wanting to let him win. There’s no way I’m sliding over a fence and picking up a pig in the same breath so I unhook the gate and swing it open.

“Wait! Y/N! Don’t-” Chris calls out but it’s too late. A piglet jets his ass out the gate and takes off across the field. I cuss loudly then slam the gate shut before another one can Houdini their way out. Turning on my heel, I take off after the little pig, listening to the laughter of the other workers behind me.

He’s fast, I’ll give him that, and I chase him all the way to the horse stables. He runs in but gets spooked when they neigh and turns back allowing me to scoop him up. He squeals and squirms in protest but I hold on tight.

“Got you. You little trackstar.” I say, out of breath. I turn around and start to head back, stopping in my tracks when I see Chris coming around the corner with a cage.

He takes the piglet from me and I hunch over, trying to stabilize my breathing.

“Bet you listen to me, next time.” He says after he’s got Wilber Jr. secured. But I don’t respond. I just stay bent over exhausted, feeling tears pricking my eyes. Chris notices and comes over, placing a hand on my back and rubbing in circles.

“Hey. I think it’s time for a break. How’s lunch sound?”

*************

We sit on the bed of the truck eating the lunches Aunt Birdie packed for us quietly. I scrunch my nose up when I notice him sipping out of a Pepsi can.

“Does Coke not bother sending their product to this fuck ass state?” I say teasingly.

He screws his face up at me and shakes his head. “Not gonna lie. I’m not even surprised when you’re wrong anymore.”

I laugh lightly, taking another bite of my sandwich.

“So…” Chris starts, reaching back, tossing his trash in the bag. “Tell me somethin’ I don’t know about you, Scotch. Got any siblings?”

“Scotch?” I question, raising my eyebrow at the nickname.

“Yeah. Scotch. Cus people always like to say it has all this kick to it… but, uh, it goes down smoother than you’d think.” Chris maintains eye contact with me for a second and then looks away, stretching.

I smile to myself and clear my throat before answering. “Well… anyway. No to the sibling question. I always wanted one though.”

He snaps pointing at me like he’s having a breakthrough. “There it goes. You’re proving my only kid theory.”

I roll my eyes and push his shoulder playfully. “Shut up.”

He grins at me and cracks his fingers. “Okay give me some more. What else?”

“I’m from Los Ang-”

He cuts me off with a shake of his head. “Duh. I asked about you. Not where you’re from.”

I furrow my brows in thought. Those two things have always been one and the same to me. “Um.. okay. Well, how about you go first? Do you just have your sister or are there more of you?” I shudder dramatically.

He raises a brow at the jab but answers anyway. “Just me and her. She’s my everything.” He smiles lightly and then nudges me with his shoulder. “You’re not off the hook. What do you wanna do when you grow up?” He asks, his tone taking on a mock childish quality. I laugh and rest my face on my cheek, thinking.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out but it’s hard,” I say, drumming my fingers against my face.

He scoffs and I look over at him in confusion. “What?”

“Nothin’. It’s just…I don’t get what’s hard about it.” He says simply.

I sit up, my guard snapping back into place. “I don’t understand what you don’t understand. I mean it’s the rest of my life we’re talking about.”

He rubs a hand over his face and shrugs. “I mean not really. If you don’t like it, you’ll just call up mommy and daddy to fix it for you.” I blink at him and he holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying.”

“No, you’re just being an fucking asshole. As usual.” I snap, sliding off the truck, and storming off toward the goats. I don’t know why his judgment is suddenly affecting me at all but it doesn’t matter. The quicker I get this day over, the quicker I can get away from Chris fucking Sturniolo.

🏷️@sturniolho @sttzee @tillies33ssss @miloisdone1 @sstvrnioloo @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @mrsmiagreer @asturniolos

@teapartyprincess4two @whicked-hazlatwhore @sukiipjs @accio326 @sturniolosmind @imfromthediningtable

#sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo oneshot #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #matthew sturniolo #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo headcanon #chris sturniolo fic #chris sturniolo angst #chris sturniolo x you #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader

[filthforfriends]

By the way, there is an actual reason for the visceral rage you feel at the thought of cishet men perceiving Victoria.

The majority of Måneskin’s fanbase is queer & questioning young women. At live shows, that only becomes truer the closer you get to the barricade (& from the barricade, they pick people to go on stage). Vic herself is a proud queer woman. So when she’s expressing her sexuality on stage, it is for the female gaze.

The way she engages seems special because it is. We never see women being openly sexy & jubilant & authentic because of the patriarchy’s omnipresent coercion. Vic’s sexuality on stage isn’t a performance for men & we can see how much joy she gets from that freedom, especially during the finale. While the boys are simply trying to survive the stage invasion, our girl Vic is beyond thrilled to lay in a pile of other sweaty, nearly topless chicks. With a giant smile on her face she calls some dude a “fucking pig” for thinking she’s hot while everyone else screams that she prefers pussy.

Typically, WLW being sexy for other WLW quite literally involves a middle man packaging (writing, directing, editing) that content (through the male gaze). But there is nothing between Vic & the live audience. What Måneskin’s videographers capture will always be made for the female gaze, no matter how it’s curated. We don’t realize how the patriarchy taints our experiences with other women/fems until something like this captures our focus. Then it’s a struggle to pin down precisely what about it is so compelling.

Cishet men grow up in a world where everything is designed for their appreciation, to win their attention. We don’t want them to perceive Vic because they’ll treat her sexuality like performance for their consumption. If they find her fuckable, it’s because she wanted them to. If they notice her smile, it’s because she was thrilled at the prospect of this objectification. They add helpful criticisms about her appearance & behavior so she – or more accurately, it – can be better desirable. Because why wouldn’t it want to modify itself for them? It was flirting. Fucking tease.

The male gaze makes no differentiation between the real, autonomous person & the fantasy in their heads, because Vic was never really a person to begin with. As in, she never reached the status of an entity entitled to give & withdraw consent. So why should they treat the autonomous person Victoria any different than the naked girl on its knees in their mind? Both are just objects.

The difference is that we’re attracted to Victoria as she is, as she voluntarily chooses to present herself. Decidedly unladylike, (why should she be otherwise?) bouncing & gyrating open mouthed, suggesting voyeurism. We’d never want Victoria to make herself less for us – less body, less vulgar. She retains her personhood.

So no, you’re not crazy.

#maneskin #måneskin #må #maneskin victoria #vicdeangelis #Victoria de angelis #vic de angelis #måneskin victoria #victoria maneskin #victoria måneskin #fuck the patriarchy #female gaze

[fernsnailz]

January 2024 Review Roundup

hello everypony‼️ something i want to do through 2024 is a mini review series where i recap some of the media i watched/played/read at the end of every month. this was inspired by tumblr user ponett’s 2023 media wrap-up, it's a great collection of quick reviews so go check it out!

i’m doing this partially as writing/analysis practice, but mostly because my memory is really bad and i want to keep track of what i've seen this year. with that said, my thoughts on everything i finished in january 2024 is under the cut :]

Portal 1 + 2

yyyup i beat Portal and it only took me (checks watch) 13 years

the first time i played Portal 2 was at a friend’s house when i was in middle school, and i had a fuckin blast. but after all that time... it still holds up! i don’t think anything i have to say about Portal will be particularly new since people have been praising this series since it came out. the writing, the level design, even the controls feel tight and engaging the whole way through. i played on switch and expected a bit of jank, but i was pleasantly surprised at how smooth it felt to play. the only part that dragged for me were the levels through the old aperture labs, but i think i would like them a lot more on a second replay. Portal 2 is fantastic and one of my new favorite games, the artistry behind it is truly incredible and i’m really glad i finally finished it. while i was playing Portal 2, i described Glados and Wheatly to a friend and said “they’re like if a ceiling fan could be passive aggressive and if Fozzie Bear was an evil golf ball”

I Think You Should Leave

finally. i can truly understand and appreciate Subspace Dubbed Over

i think one of my favorite things about I Think You Should Leave is how it utilizes horror. beyond sitting slack-jawed in disbelief at the crazy events unfolding before my eyes, a number of the sketches dipped into bits that genuinely kinda scared me. like the one sketch that circulates on here where the guy (pig?) in a mask crawls through a dog door, which is. genuinely terrifying. but so many of the other sketches have slow, nerve-racking pacing leading to crazy shit that would be perfect in a horror film were the context different. idk i like dissecting how horror and comedy are essentially the same thing and I Think You Should Leave was very good at enabling that <3 favorite sketches are probably “then let my wife eat the damn receipt” and “55 BURGERS 55 HOTDOGS 100 FRIES 100 TATER TOTS”

Sonic Prime Season 3

man. ohhhh man. i didn’t go into this with high expectations and i still feel let down. Sonic Prime Season 3 was definitely my least favorite “season” of the batch - abysmal pacing, very few character moments i actually enjoyed, and the things i praised about the show felt very underutilized through these episodes. Nine is the shining star of Sonic Prime and i was looking forward to seeing his more villainous side, but his character took such a sharp turn into pure evil and it felt like he spent the entire season repeating the same three lines. and as much as i praise Shadow’s writing in Prime, it doesn’t really matter when he spends half of the season trapped in a hole that he just… runs out of later.

lastly, i cannot stop thinking about how bad the pacing of this season is. three episodes for a repetitive final battle feels like such a waste of time when you see just how much they rush the emotional resolutions in the last episode. however, there is one thing i truly love about Sonic Prime Season 3 - i love the Sails and Mangey fakeout death. it's so fucking funny. like you really expect me to believe that two cartoon animals in this Y-7 rated show EXPLODED?????? absolute comedy gold.

overall, i just… don’t really know what to think of Sonic Prime. anything i enjoyed in the show was often fleeting, and much of it felt like its only purpose was to waste my time. also Rouge i can’t believe they did you so dirty oh my god

Ghost Trick

i was so proud that i figured out the secret behind Sissel’s memory loss like halfway through the game. however i also kept getting caught during the prison escape sequence like an idiot

Ghost Trick is in a similar situation as Portal where 1. it’s incredible and one of my new favorite games, and 2. there’s nothing i can really say about it that hasn’t already been said or just. shouldn’t be said. Ghost Trick is a fantastic mystery game, and because of that i think it’s best to go into its story as blind as possible. the narrative unfolds in such fascinating ways - even though the actual object manipulation gameplay isn’t directly about solving the mystery (like in Ace Attorney or other mystery games), it still ties wonderfully into the story in some incredibly unique ways.

i also really love the artstyle of Ghost Trick - i love 2D character artwork with that sharp lineweight, it reminded me a lot of Sonic Battle (another game with an artstyle i love). i was also really impressed by the 3D character models and animation - despite the limitations of the camera, you get a wonderful sense of everyone’s personality from the limited body language expressed in the overworld (even though the models lack much facial expression which. i guess they don’t really need? idk that was the only thing that threw me off). anyways yeah everyone should play Ghost Trick so Ghost Trick fans can be freed from their curse and talk about it without having to tag like 10 different spoiler tags. and for Missile

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

ok bear with me. i went into Scott Pilgrim Takes Off without reading the comics first. and i fuckin loved it

my understanding of Scott Pilgrim before SPTO was mostly from the movie (I KNOW I’M SORRY), but even with my base understanding of the series i really enjoyed this show for what it was. i found myself appreciating the time they dedicated to further develop every single character in the show - especially Ramona. she’s fantastic as the lead, i really loved watching her reconcile with her exes and seeing all of them grow instead of exploding into coins. my favorite episode was probably the one with her and Roxie - not only did i adore the movie-jumping set pieces, but you really understand the weight of Ramona’s mistakes in their past relationship and how much it hurt Roxie. despite the big climactic fight, the flashbacks are quiet, subtle, heartbreaking. Ramona’s apology is genuine, and it feels so wonderful to watch her confront her past throughout the show. also i think it’s really funny that for all these characters to become the best versions of themselves, they had to kill off Scott for most of the story

and holy shit the artstyle and animation. oh my god. i love watching something that makes me immediately go “i need to see the storyboards for this RIGHT NOW.” SPTO is such a visual delight to watch, it elevates the artstyle of the comics while also keeping what makes that style so appealing - i love the line weight on the characters, i love how much forward energy the animation has, i love the fucking. virtual boy section. as soon as i found out Science Saru was also behind Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken, everything made immediate sense. i was destined to love this show.

another worry i had going into SPTO (besides the fact that i hadn’t read the comics lol) is that the original cast from the movie was returning. i think the movie cast is fine, but i wasn’t sure how some of them would fare with voice acting for animation. however, i thought they all did a good job - i think the whole cast loves these characters and would be able to fit into them fairly easily no matter what form their performance takes, and they definitely had a good voice director in the studio with them. the only thing that felt off about the voice performances to me was that sometimes it sounded like some of their mics kept peaking?? idk some of these episodes i watched high as balls and i felt like i could hear and see every single sound and frame of the show. so that might have just been me.

god i did not. expect to have this much to say about Scott Pilgrim. i really loved this show and i’m currently reading the comics to fully catch up on the general Scott Pilgrim experience - i think reading the comics AFTER Takes Off is making me appreciate even more of the character work that went into the show. like they do so much with Mathew Patel in SPTO, a character that was. not originally around for a long time from what i’ve gathered? also i like the funny little robot. oh my GOD i cannot talk about this show anymore whatever it’s good get me out of here

Sword AF Season 1

i put on the Smosh cast’s D&D series to play in the background while i was drawing. i did not expect to think much of it. instead, i had one of the most enjoyable D&D podcast experiences since i listened to The Adventure Zone Balance???

i haven’t really enjoyed other D&D podcasts since i dropped off of The Adventure Zone, and i wasn’t expecting much from Sword AF of all things. then i saw that Shayne was playing as a druid warforged made of plants and his name was fucking Fernie and i sat my ass down and LISTENED. while i think Sword AF is currently lacking in its world and larger story, those things just. aren’t really what Sword AF is really trying to provide at the moment. it’s main focus is comedy, and the players are genuinely such a delight to watch play together and build off of each other. they mostly focus on bits and goofs for the sake of she show's comedic tone, but i still found it thoroughly enjoyable because every player embodies and performs their characters really well. idk Sword AF was an unexpected hit for me this month, i thought it was fun. and i love Fernie so much

Plastic Death - Glass Beach

so originally i wasn’t going to include music reviews in these roundups at all, but then i was entirely surprised by a new Glass Beach album and oh my god. holy shit. oh my fucking god jesus christ. holy shit. its preddy good

Plastic Death gets the low point of the album out of the way immediately. it starts with the “phone call/conversation audio” trope that i don’t particularly enjoy - HOWEVER despite me disliking this opening, 1. it sets up the overall themes of Plastic Death very quickly, and 2. the rest of the album blows this 40 second opening completely out of the water. from there, the album grows into something beautiful and uncontained, and i just. i really like it

Plastic Death captures the beauty of the temporary, asks what it means to be created for a cause you can’t fulfill, questions if you can reclaim yourself from cycles and constraints designed to destroy you. and is also about being transgender. the lyrics are abstract in a way that requires a conversation with the listener, many of the vocals obscured and smooth like waves - this album is definitely one that needs to be listened to a few times. i wasn’t sure how i felt about the vocal style at first before realizing the vocals were the main reason i was relistening to this album, allowing myself to find even more that i loved about it. the instrumentation is also incredible, i love the use of marimba in a number of songs - distant, eerie, almost skeletal. and the fucking. 8-bit section?? which kinda rules???? and that’s the only point in the album it ever shows up??????? incredible. a fleeting, somewhat silly moment that i love every time.

this album left my heart aching, in part from my connection to it and in part from the pure love and joy emanating from this music. i can feel just how much fun this music was to perform and create, a cohesion of time and sound that just clicked for me. Plastic Death made me miss playing music, which is something i haven’t felt in years. all from an album that starts with a conversation about CrankGameplay’s dead youtube channel. good lord

i like this album a normal amount. go listen to it a few times. my favorite tracks are cul-de-sac and commatose

Wish

i watched Wish with a couple of friends and knew i probably wasn't going to like it. with that in mind, i gave myself a challenge: i wanted to find one thing about this movie that i genuinely really loved. it could be anything, and loving it for ironic reasons was allowed.

here's the complete list of things i loved about Disney's Wish (2023):

i love the one shot where King Magnifico stirs an evil caldron evily. i thought it was hilarious. what was he cooking

i loved that the end credits included a reference to Dinosaur 2001 at all, and i loved that they paid homage to Big Hero 6 by showing the forgettable villain of that movie instead of their Baymax cashcow for some reason. my friends and i saw him show up in the credits and were like "who's the trenchcoat guy??"

you may notice that this list is very short and 50% of it is about the movie's credits. so yeah this movie is not very good

Wish is an empty husk of a movie. everything about it feels so, so hollow - lifeless town squares, uninspired character designs (to quote a friend: "i have all of these characters' hairstyles in The Sims"), characters whose existence is only justified to fill empty space or an overused archetype, and an "evil" villain who lacks charisma and spine in a futile effort to remind the audience of previous disney villains with actual character. even the artstyle lacks any sort of sauce, the watercolor effect they were trying to go for only makes the backgrounds and character textures run together, and the dull lighting makes things look even more faded. it's like disney was scared of making a movie that made its audience feel... anything. all to celebrate 100 years of Disney slop, baby!!!

Some YouTube videos I liked in January: 💥 An Exhaustive Look at Pokemon Brilliant Diamond 💥 TomSka's Guide to Plagiarism 💥 Paradise Bombed (this video is a great piece of journalism and i’m definitely not doing it justice by throwing it into the youtube vid list) 💥 Surprising Our Friends with Zoo Animals 💥 Did FNAF Ever Have a Good Story?

thanks for reading! next month’s roundup will be wild because i’ll likely be reviewing House of Leaves and Hazbin Hotel. can you guess which cursed house gives me a worse headache? WHO KNOWS! (hint: it's Hazbin Hotel)

#under the readmore is pretty long! oh boy i love having opinions about media #most stuff in january i liked a lot though :] good month of stuff!! #review roundup #<- oh boy new tag for this series #long post

[sunshine-and-moonshine]

Dbd Bikini

Requested: Yes [can u write huntress, charlotte, ghostface, and pig's reaction to the survivor they've been making sexual advances to ending up in a veyr small bikini on a game with them?]

Warnings: ✨Spice✨

Huntress

Why are you in your underwear???? Is her first thought, whining in dismay as she wraps you up whatever cloth she can find. Whether it be the cloth on the pews in Father Campbell’s or the drapes from the Thompson house. Hell, the shirt off her back if it’s the only thing she can find! Not that she’s displeased with seeing you in such a state of undress but she doesn’t want anyone else to look at what’s hers! She’ll instruct you to stay hidden in a locker, covered in blood when she finally returns, eager to rip off that bikini and feel your skin on hers.

Charlotte

Charlotte, much like Huntress, thinks you’re in your underwear. Though unlike Huntress, she thinks that maybe it was not your choice. Did someone steal your clothes while you were bathing? It’s possible, she’d seen people do it before, when she was roaming the woods. Cruel prank and she was sad at the thought that someone was being mean to you. She’ll approach you quickly, sitting you in front of the fireplace in Ormond, telling you not the move as she goes to try and find something for you to be covered with, eventually showing up covered in blood with what you’re pretty sure is Vittorio’s jacket in her arms.

Ghostface

That outfit is very much Ghostface approved. Especially when he notices a design just like his mask is printed all over. He acts shocked, as if he didn’t bribe the Entity to do this for him after successfully sacrificing a LOT of your friends to her. No matter though! He’s more than happy to warm you up in this cold weather. His gloved hands running up and down your sides when your back is turned, just out of sight. Making you feel like you’re going crazy because you could have sworn someone had just touched you. That they were watching you.

Pig

Amanda is so amused when you show up in a trial with her wearing little more than a string from clothes. She wants to ignore it but….hmm, she does enjoy the sight of your rounded cheeks, the bikini string snug between them. She could practically see what what underneath. Maybe is she had time at the end of the trial, if you were still alive by then, then you both could play a little game together. One that she was sure you’d enjoy too.

#dbd #dead by daylight #Anna #Anna x reader #the huntress #the huntress x reader #charlotte deshayes #Charlotte DeShayes x reader #Danny Johnson #danny johnson x reader #Amanda young #amanda young x reader

[honeytrap26]

BINGO

Senku Ishigami x Reader

summary: Chrome bugs you about a game Senku taught him how to play. cw: a little dirty at the end but nothing crazy aunote: Quick scenario about Senku and reader. I used a pig translator for Gen’s parts, apparently that is what he speaks when he says his words backwards… I don't know if that's true or not. Finished watching season 3 of Dr. Stone and saw that there wasn’t much fanfics for them. So here’s one from me. Enjoy and happy reading! 🐼🖤 wc: 700+ (proofread 🙈)

“Hey, Senku taught me a new game.” Chrome nudges you.

“ Oh yeah and what game would that be?” you continue to knead the dough, not looking at Chrome.

“ It's a very hard game, I’ve been so close to beating Senku.” he smirks at you, rummaging in his pocket.

“ Take a look at it.” he flashes you the cards with numbers on it.

You cover the dough and place it on the table next to the other ones that Francois kneaded, you wash your hands, looking at the cards in his hand.

“ Bingo….” -your brows furrow at Chrome- “Senku taught you how to play Bingo?” 

He nods happily, “It’s a great game we should play, I need to get better so that I can beat Senku.”

You shake your head, drying your hands off on your apron before taking it off and hanging it up in its designated area.

“And why do you wanna play with me?” you walk over to the oven checking the temperature before pushing past the curtains and walk outside. 

“ Cuz Senku told me you were easy to beat.” he smirks, pulling out more items from his pouch.

You sigh as you scan the field for Senku. “That dumbass” you whisper under your breath.

“ Fine, I’ll play with you but I know how to help you win against Senku.” you smirk at Chrome.

“Hey Senkuu!! I’m ready to play with you again.” Chrome yells while jogging towards Senku who was standing next to Taiju and Yuziriha. They were busy going over inventory, and Senku was talking to Yuzihara about making more winter clothes for everyone. Senku looks up at him, he sees you jogging behind Chrome with a grin on your face.

“Looks like he actually went to ask her about the game. You tease her too much Senku.” Yuzihara chuckles.

Taiju rubs the back of his head and laughs out loud. “Of course he would! But ya know you can’t trick her.” Taiju slaps Senku on the back.

Senku does his signature laugh as he puts his hands on his hips. “I know ya big oaf, but I like to try anyway.” he walks over to Chrome who's setting up the cards on a table.

“I'm ready for you.” -Chrome gives you a wink and a thumbs up- “I know all the tricks.”

You give Chrome a thumbs up and winking back at him. “Shall we begin Senku?” you drag out his name just a little longer.

“B64, G17, O53, I7, N-”

“BINGO!” Chrome shouts, slapping his card on the table, he throws his fist in the air.

“Woohoo! Great job Chrome!” you clap for him as you run towards him giving him a hug, you guys both jump in joy and tease Senku, sticking your tongues out.

“Blehh, we won and you looost.”

Senku just smirks and digs his ear. “Good job, I went easy on you..” he shrugs as he walks off.

“I29” Slap!

“B34” Slap!

“S-senku, please.” -he chuckles at you- “thought you said you could beat me.” he rubs your red ass cheek.

“B-but I already won.” you whimper as he leans down to kiss the small of your back.

“ Your so close though.” he smirks “ let’s continue”

“ N-N…69” Slap! 

You moan as he slips a finger in your wet slit.

“ That’s a good girl. I think you deserve more. Get on the bed.” he slaps your ass one more time before letting you go. You saunter towards the bed and lay down. “This is going to be a long night.”  you think to yourself.

 Senku slips off his clothes then walks towards you before pulling you into a kiss.

“One more time” he whispers in your ear and chuckles.

Extra Trimmings!! “Hey Chrome wanna play Bing-” “Shhhhh ,don’t say that word around Senku.” Chrome covers Gen's mouth. “W-why not?” Gen asks, pushing Chrome's hand away from his mouth. “B-because last night I heard slapping and moaning coming from Senkus hut, talking about how that’s what she gets for playing Bin-that game. She kept saying one number in particular saying that she liked it alot.” Gens face turns bright red. “W-what was the umbernay(number)?” he whispers, afraid of the answer.  “69.” Chrome whispers back.  “Whatcha talkin bout?” Senku rubs the back of his head as he yawns standing behind them. Gen and Chrome both scream and take off spouting, “Othingnay (nothing)!” “We’re not talking about Bin-” “Ushhay (hush) it!”

#dr stone #drstone xreader #senku x reader #dr stone senku #ishigami senku #dr stone chrome #dr stone gen #senku ishigami #bingo senku #honeytrap🐼

[hollowhearts-and-espresso]

lets talk hannibal (but mostly will graham)

so some viewers and enjoyers of the hannibal tv show still think that Will only lost it because of hannibals influence. because hannibal alienated him from others, pushed him to break the wall around his mind, whatever reason, some people think it was only or at least mostly because of hannibal.

that said, heres where those loveable fuckos are wrong. will graham was very early on established to be unstable- he's autistic and an empath so that alone is hard on him, not to mention all the shit hes seen for crime scenes and his own nightmares (also established to have happened long before hannibal or Garret Hobbs ever came into play). so yes, unstable, but still very clearly feeling- he's not a psychopath, not a sociopath, not even criminally crazy or insane, he's just unstable. but unstable is dangerous in his line of work

so lets focus on the empath part for a second. he's able to observe, consider, and get into the minds of the killers- 'he hires Will Graham to catch psychopaths because he can think like them'. and he can, and he said as much- he can think like them, get in their head, figure out their design and every last flaw in it to catch them. will graham may not be a legal psychopath, but he can put his mind into the headspace of one, think and feel and look like one (consider the conversation about the minnesota shrike between jack and will- 'a feeling psychopath'. we establish early that it is unusual, but they can never and will never rule out the possibility of a psychopath or sociopath being driven by love, still feeling things)

so far, just in early episode 1, we've established a few things- the first is that will graham is emotionally and mentally unstable, so deeply that a licensed psychiatrist suggests highly that they just let him be and teach. second thing we've established is that will graham is not a psychopath or sociopath, but he THINKS like one, gets in their heads, understands them. being able to think through someone so deeply that you can basically see through their eyes is hard enough, but even harder if you cant align with their instabilities and etc. and the third thing we've established is that in this show (and irl, but we focus on the show), is that they can and never will rule out the possibility of a psychopath showing and experiencing true feeling.

now lets talk about some MORE that went down in episode one. the 'copycat' kill, with the girl mounted in the field on the antlers. will took one close look at her and realized that no, this isnt garret hobbs, who tucked elice nichols into bed and never wastes any part of the women because he wants to keep them inside, near him, safe- no, this was someone else, and he though this girl was pig and wanted to humiliate her. One fucking look. he had probably already been thinking about the shrike kills and realized, or almost realized, the connection between the shrike having a daughter and the girls he killed, whatever. but he takes one look at this girl, a kill that is very objectively so close to the others it could, in fact, be garret jacob hobbs, and he realizes no, thats not the shrike, this girl was a pig and her killer wanted it known.

and then, later, when he's giving the lecture and jack and hannibal walk in, he says that this kill was the shrikes kills but elevated to art. ART, which he is shown now and later to have such a delicate care for. he finds this kill beautiful and artistic, and this is before he has much of hannibals influence or hannibal even makes hints about alienating will from jack or alana. this is still pre-hannibal will graham, looking at a vicious murder and calling it art.

and hannibal himself never broke will. he broke his trust, at some points, and did everything to get it back and show will he could trust him, he wouldnt hurt him. he loved will so clearly and deeply the entire time, he would never break him. he loved him so deeply that the only thing he ever wanted was for will to be his full, true, no-walls self with hannibal. he would never break will, he just wanted will to be his full self- he pushed will, yes, but never to hurt him or his mind, just pushed him to take the walls down, to stop pushing down the urges that were eating at him because thats what was destroying will, not hannibal.

so in conclusion, will was an unstable phsycotic empath well before hannibal, and hannibal only ever wanted him to stop fighting the urges and take down his walls, he was NOT the reason will snapped and not responsible for dark!Will

#hannibal tv show #hannibal tv series #will graham #nbc hannibal #hannibal lector #hannigram

[chicgeekgirl89]

Festive Friends- Read on AO3

Rating: T

Words: 8600

This one is for @strandnreyes as part of the @tarlos-santa 2023 exchange! I chose the prompt: AU - Carlos and TK unknowingly have each other for the office secret santa exchange. Up to you if they’re pining idiots, “enemies”, secretly dating, or anything else! Hope you enjoy and have the most festive of holidays!

“Good morning Mr. Reyes.”

Carlos looks up to find the office intern, Mateo, standing cheerily next to his desk, a stack of envelopes in his hand. “Good morning Mateo. And again, you can call me Carlos. Mr. Reyes really isn’t necessary.”

“Sorry Mr. Reyes, I’m just not really used to being like, a real adult yet I guess,” Mateo says sheepishly. 

Carlos keeps a chuckle to himself and doesn’t admonish the kid again. “I understand. Whatever you feel comfortable with is fine.”

“Cool. Thanks Mr. Reyes. I brought your mail over for you.”

“Thank you,” Carlos says, accepting the stack from him.

“Can I get you anything? A coffee? Oh! I think Mr. Strand has some new kind of energizing smoothie or something in the break room. Although, it looked kinda gross to me,” Mateo says.

The thought of that smoothie sends a shiver down Carlos’ spine. He hasn’t known Owen Strand for very long, but his health nut tendencies have quickly become too much for Carlos’ taste. “No, that’s okay. I don’t need anything right now. Besides, your job here is to learn about the business, not fetch everyone’s coffee.”

“Right. Yes. Learning. I love learning all the things. Hey, are you coming to the office tree lighting on Friday afternoon? I heard they’re gonna have those little pigs in a blanket.”

Carlos’ eyes dart back to his screen and the half finished email staring at him. “Um, yeah. I’ll be there for a little bit.”

“Awesome!” Mateo seems genuinely thrilled and Carlos once again has to bite back an amused smile. The kid is ninety nine parts enthusiasm and one part overly helpful. “Well I’ll let you get back to it. Lots of…what exactly does HR do?”

“Emails,” Carlos says. “Lots of emails.”

“Right. Sounds fun. Good luck with that!”

Mateo sends him a parting wave and then disappears around the side of his cubicle. 

Things have been absolutely crazy at PD and Sons since they merged with 126 Designs a few months ago. Owen Strand had been brought in to manage the merger and insisted on hiring a significant number of new staff. Onboarding the new hires like Mateo has been a ton of work, especially since Owen insisted on being extremely involved in the entire process. Carlos has been in non-stop meetings for weeks and today is the first day he hasn’t felt completely overwhelmed in forever.

He flips through the stack of mail, tossing a few random flyers in the recycling, and setting aside the important envelopes to open later. He wrinkles his forehead when he finds a folded up piece of red paper at the bottom of the stack. When he opens it his eyes immediately widen in horror.

What. The. Hell?

“Lexi.” He stands up and looks down into the cubicle next to him where his work wife is busy with some kind of design project. “Why did I just get a paper telling me who my Secret Santa is this year?”

“I signed you up because I knew you wouldn’t do it otherwise. It’s the season of giving and part of that means giving up your Grinchy ways and pretending like you’re interested in getting to know all the new people in the office,” Lexi says without looking up at him.

His jaw drops. “Okay, first of all, I’m not uninterested in getting to know them. I just haven’t had time to get to know them. And secondly, I hate Secret Santa. Nobody ever really knows what to get you, so you end up with all this random crap and candy that you don’t want and it all sits in a drawer for three or four years until finally you throw it out.”

She finally stops and turns to look at him. “Wow. Okay Uncle Scrooge. First of all,” she echoes him, “it’s not Secret Santa, it’s Festive Friends. Not everybody celebrates Christmas. Get your terminology right. And secondly, it’s not about getting good gifts, it’s about spreading joy for the holiday season. So take the Christmas tree out of your ass and start fa la la-ing with the rest of us.”

“Lexi,” he grinds out her name between his teeth and quickly glances around to make sure no one is in earshot. “I got T.K.”

Lexi is the only one in the office who knows what an incredible disaster meeting T.K. Strand has been for his life. A week after the PD Austin and 126 Designs merger the entire office had gone out for drinks. One thing led to another, which led to another, and ultimately ended up with T.K. very naked in Carlos’ bed. 

They’d been incredibly hot and incredibly heavy for a couple weeks after that, sneaking around together, making out in the supply closet, booty calling each other in the dead of night, and Carlos had been so ridiculously happy. T.K. Strand had turned him into a horny freaking teenager.

And then he’d made the mistake of surprising T.K. with dinner. He’d thought it would be romantic. That it might move them from booty call status into something a little bit more permanent. 

But T.K. had freaked out, stormed out, and shut Carlos out of his life. Thank god his cubicle is all the way around the corner on the other side of the building. They barely have to see each other except for the occasional awkward brush in the break room or men’s room.

Carlos’ heart has been more broken than he’d like to let on, not to mention his ego is bruised too. The whole thing has made getting to know the other people from 126 Designs like Marjan, Paul, Nancy, and Judd very awkward.. They’re T.K.’s friends. And he doesn’t want to piss T.K. off anymore than he already has. 

Of course he has to interact with T.K.’s father, Owen Strand, he is the manager after all, but other than that he’s kept everyone else at an extremely polite and professional distance.

So finding T.K.’s name in his hands is like a punch in the gut.

“Good,” Lexi says, surprising him. “You’ve been pining for him for weeks anyway. Might as well do something about it.”

“Lexi, this guy hates my guts,” Carlos says. “He doesn’t want presents from me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you. You’re Carlos Reyes. No one hates you.”

“Please switch with me.”

“No.”

“Lexi!”

“No! I got Paul. I already have ideas. I’m not switching. It’s only three gifts, you’ll be fine.”

“Three?! I thought Secret Santa was only one gift!”

“God, do you even read your email? It’s three gifts in the week leading up to the holiday break. This will be good for you. Now go away. I’m working.”

Carlos sinks back down into his chair, misery settling in his stomach. This is going to be absolute torture.

He takes another look at T.K.’s scrawl. His writing looks hurried in a way that suggests he’s so excited that he can’t be bothered to slow down and shape his letters more carefully. It has that same kind of frenetic, joyful energy that drew Carlos to him in the first place. Now the only energy he exudes toward Carlos is coldness.

Carlos catches himself tracing his fingers over the letters of T.K.’s name and balls them into a fist before forcing himself to read T.K.’s answers to the Festive Friends questionnaire. T.K. has written down that he likes sour candy, Harry Styles, boba, and interesting tea flavors. He doesn’t like black licorice, the Mets, or anything with alcohol. 

Carlos frowns at that. He doesn’t remember T.K. mentioning anything about alcohol during their weeks together. But then again, they didn’t exactly spend much time talking. Their mouths had been occupied with other things.

It feels unfair to have this scrap of T.K., to get this little glimpse into his life. These are things he doesn’t want Carlos to know. He made that clear when he stormed out the door of Carlos’ condo and left nothing behind except Carlos’ fractured heart. 

He takes a breath and squares his shoulders. It’s just a stupid office tradition. They’re colleagues. They’re going to have to become cordial at some point. Maybe this is how he can start to smooth things over. Besides, it’s not like he has to talk to the guy. That’s literally the point. To keep it secret.

This is going to be fine.

It is not fine. It’s not fine because Carlos is the type of person that agonizes over gifts. And in this case, there’s even more pressure because the gifts have to be perfectly impersonal so they don’t say, “Your dick was life changing and I don’t think I’m ever going to recover because now you hate me and I don’t really know why.” He’d much rather they say, “I’m fine and I don’t ever think about you and that thing you did with your tongue that one time.”

Ugh.

He arrives Monday morning the week before Christmas with a gift bag in hand, a Yankees baseball cap tucked inside. It’s a lame gift. Perfectly impersonal. And the rest of his gifts for the week aren’t much better. There’s a small part of him berating himself for not doing a better job. He could at least try. The guy broke up with him, he didn’t murder anyone.

But then he remembers how miserable he was in the days after T.K. had stormed out. Whatever. He didn’t sign up for this anyway. T.K. deserves his boring gifts.

The office is quiet as he makes his way to T.K.’s cubicle. Even just the sight of his desk makes Carlos’ heart ache a little. There’s a picture pinned to his bulletin board of T.K. with their other co-workers, Marjan, Paul, Judd, Mateo, Nancy, and Tommy all smiling and having fun, clearly out for a night on the town together. He’d known 126Designs was small and that was part of the reason for the acquisition; to bring on a tightly knit team to help their own, but seeing T.K. so happy with them all doesn’t really feel great.

He’s been so preoccupied by his own shopping that he completely forgot that he is also getting gifts until he steps into his cubicle and sees a bright green bag with little white Christmas trees all over it. He inspects it carefully, relieved to find there’s no glitter anywhere. 

He hates glitter.

There’s a little card attached to the handle and when he opens it it reads “Hope you have a Write Christmas- FF.” It takes him a second to figure out that FF must mean Festive Friend.

He carefully extracts the tissue paper and looks into the bag. It’s office supplies. Pens, post-its, a new stapler, blue paperclips, and a ball of rubber bands.

The pun on the card makes sense, even if it is as terribly lame as the gifts inside. At least it’s practical. He can always use new pens.

“Hey!” Lexi pokes her head in. “Ooh what’d you get?”

He shows her the bag and she nods in approval. “Your Festive Friend knows you like office supplies. Nice.”

“If you’re expecting a thank you for going behind my back on this, you’re going to be waiting a long time,” Carlos tells her as he sits down and opens up his laptop.

“Pretty sure people with that attitude get coal in their stocking,” she tells him, flipping him off before heading to her own cubicle.

It’s midway through the morning and Carlos is about to make yet another phone call when Owen Strand steps into the middle of the bullpen. “All right, attention everyone!” he calls.

The ambient sound of typing and low chatter ceases. “Thank you,” he says. “I just wanted to remind everyone that we have our first team building activity this afternoon. So if you have anything scheduled this is your last chance to rearrange. Mandatory fun is in store for all!”

Carlos bites back a groan. He is really not into mandatory office fun. Especially when it means he’ll be in close proximity to T.K. But he’s also not one to flaunt the rules, so he’s going to have to suck it up and deal.

No one has been allowed in the conference room all morning and when one o’clock rolls around Owen waits at the door with a massive grin on his face. The man is clearly thrilled with whatever he’s cooked up to torture them today.

When Carlos walks through the door he sees why. The tables have been covered in red plastic tablecloths and every two feet or so sits a pile of materials like graham crackers, marshmallows, frosting, and candy. It’s immediately obvious how they will be team building today.

“All right everyone!” Owen says when they’re all assembled. “As you can probably guess our team building activity for today has taken a turn for the festive. And I’ve taken the liberty of assigning you all a partner to work with. Each team will be assembling a pre-determined part of our gingerbread village. Paul, you’re with Marjan.”

They immediately turn and high five, clearly thrilled. 

“Nancy with Lexi, Judd with Tommy, Mateo with me,” Owen flashes him a smile and Mateo lets out a whoop.

Carlos’ stomach drops. That leaves him with—“T.K., you’ll be with Carlos.”

Fuck.

“Send one person to grab your pre-assigned building assignment! Remember this is not a competition. We’re all working together to build our village. Just like it takes a village to run a company.”

There’s a brief silence in which everyone internalizes what a dumb, schticky thing Owen has just said and then he claps his hands. “Okay, get to work!”

Everyone claims a spot around the tables. Carlos takes a paper slip from Owen and then looks around to find T.K., who is sitting across the room with his back to Carlos.

Carlos reluctantly walks over and sits in the empty seat next to him, all the while wondering if he can fake sick or claim a family emergency to get out of this. When he finally looks up at his partner he recoils in shock. T.K.’s lip is split and swollen, and there’s a dark ring of bruising underneath his right eye. “What happened to you?” Carlos asks, a surprised reflex releasing the words from his mouth before he can stop them.

The look T.K. sends him immediately reminds him that they’re not friends anymore. It’s full of vitriol and misery and…Carlos looks a little closer. Pain. There’s a rawness there that Carlos doesn’t remember seeing before.

“Sorry,” he says. “I just…that looks like it hurts.”

“Doesn’t feel great,” T.K. agrees, his voice stiff. “What are we supposed to be making?”

Carlos looks at the paper. “Police station.”

“Perfect. Way to read the room Dad. ACAB and all that,” T.K. grouses as he reaches for a pile of graham crackers and immediately begins squeezing icing all over.

“Um,” Carlos hems and T.K. stops.

“What?”

“Don’t you think maybe we should make a plan first?”

T.K. sighs and dramatically drops his piping bag onto the table. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

“No I—I didn’t mean—” Carlos struggles to find the right words. “It’s fine. Let’s just try and get something standing first. That’s the hardest part anyway.”

They spend a couple minutes in silence gluing graham crackers together with icing and using some marshmallows to prop them up until they have something that roughly resembles walls and a roof. “You’re kind of good at this,” T.K. says. 

It’s the closest thing to niceties that they’ve shared in weeks.

“I have a lot of nieces and nephews. Not my first gingerbread house. Although it is my first police station,” Carlos admits.

“Cool,” T.K. says, then winces, his lip clearly hurting.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me what happened?” Carlos asks, feeling a little emboldened by T.K.’s compliment.

T.K. shoots him a glare. “You’re kind of annoying. You know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” Carlos says, trying to let the jab roll off his back. “But I know you’re new around here and you’ve obviously gotten into some trouble. Sometimes it helps to talk things out.”

He gets silence in return. God what the hell is wrong with this guy? He’s literally just trying to help. “Fine. You don’t have to tell me. But you should probably tell someone before whoever gave you that shiner comes back to give you a matching set.”

T.K. goes quiet, fiddling with the icing bag in his hand. When he speaks his voice is soft.“I went to a bar last night.”

“Ah. A little drunk and disorderly,” Carlos says, aware that he’s being snarky and not caring in the least. “So you have an idea of how the inside of this police station should look then.”

“I wasn’t drunk,” T.K. says quickly and Carlos remembers his Festive Friends answers. He looks down. “I just went through a really bad break up. Like nuclear bad. And then I relapsed.” He looks around and lowers his voice. “I relapsed with substances.”

Oh.

Carlos sets down the graham cracker in his hands, his full attention now on T.K. as memory slices through him. “I tried to pour us champagne during dinner. I’m such an idiot I’m sorry—“

“It’s fine, ” T.K. cuts him off quickly, like if he gets interrupted now he won’t ever be able to find the strength to share this again. He fiddles with the peppermint wrapper in his hands. “Ever since I’ve gotten here it’s just…it’s grey. And I just feel numb all the time. So I went out to a bar looking for trouble. And I found it. Big time. I guess I just…I wanted to feel something.”

He’s pulled in on himself, his body looking vulnerable and wounded. Carlos gets it now. The overenthusiastic sex. His no-strings attached mentality. The complete meltdown during dinner. This is a man who has been hurt, and he’s struggling to find a way to heal. Carlos had unknowingly probed at the wound in his soul and T.K. had lashed out. It makes sense, even if it wasn’t fair.

T.K. looks miserable and despite their history all Carlos wants to do is make him feel better. “Judging by that lip, I’d say mission accomplished,” he says, trying to lighten the moment.

“You’re really busting my balls right now?” T.K. asks, an unreadable expression on his face.

“No,” Carlos says. “I’m busting your jingle bells.” He tries and fails to hold back a smile at his incredibly stupid joke.

T.K. blinks at him. “That’s terrible,” he says, but he is also struggling to keep his face neutral.

“And yet you’re smiling,” Carlos says. He feels lighter, like there’s been an ominous blizzard hanging over him in the weeks since they stopped seeing each other. Now it feels like the snow has finally started to fall and all the ugliness of the bare world in winter is being covered in a fresh layer of soft white powder. There’s a sense of hope to it.

“I’m laughing at how stupid it is,” T.K. says.

“Well laugh while you work,” Carlos says, reaching for a bar of Hershey’s chocolate to put on the roof. “I know your dad said it wasn’t a competition, but Marjan and Paul seem to be working on a second story. So I’m not sure they know that.”

Together they finish the roof, adding on lots of dripping icing as snow and icicles. Carlos carefully starts to add windows while T.K. works on the landscaping. 

“Tommy I don’t know why you’re trying to make me do these little details when you know I’ve got fat fingers,” Judd is saying across the way as he and Tommy try to add a steeple to their church.

Marjan and Paul’s apartment building does indeed have two stories and they’ve somehow managed to chisel out actual windows in the graham crackers. Lexi and Nancy are creating a ski chalet that includes a chairlift, and Owen and Mateo’s fire station sports a fire pole made of pretzel rods.

“There,” T.K. says, plonking a creation down in front of where Carlos has crafted a front door out of Kit Kats.

Carlos raises an eyebrow. “What is that?”

“A snowman.”

Ah. Now Carlos sees it. There are two marshmallows stacked on top of each other and T.K. has shoved pretzel sticks in each side for arms. There is a lifesaver on each one and they’re connected by a thread of Twizzler. “What’s on its arms?” he asks.

“Handcuffs,” T.K. says.

“The snowman is getting arrested?”

“Or getting ready to do something kinky.”

“In front of a police station?”

“Some people get off on a little exhibitionism. Don’t judge Carlos,” T.K. says, a smirk on his face.

Damn it. They should have stayed mortal enemies. Now that they’re talking again, Carlos feels the urge to drag T.K. into the nearest cubicle and kiss the shit out of him. He didn’t need to go to a bar to find trouble. He could have shown up on Carlos’ doorstep and gotten into plenty.

Carlos’ attempt at a police cruiser has them both laughing; the oreo wheels keep falling off the rice krispie body (which T.K. snuck out and stole from the break room and has loudly been declared illegal by half the staff in the room) no matter how much icing he uses to try and stick them on.

“Stop eating our building materials,” Carlos admonishes a few minutes later when he goes for another red gum drop and finds they’re nearly gone.

“Why? They’re delicious. Tis the season for sugar,” T.K. says.

Carlos goes to give him a look and notices a dab of frosting on the corner of his mouth. “You’ve got some—“ He mimes brushing it away.

T.K. grabs a tissue and wipes, but misses completely. “No other side,” Carlos directs without success. “Here just, let me.”

He swipes the tissue from T.K.’s hand and dabs carefully, taking care not to pull on T.K.’s split lip. Their eyes meet and a heat passes between them, setting Carlos’ bones on fire. He clears his throat. “Got it.”

“Thanks,” T.K. says quietly.

They spend another half hour decorating before Owen makes them put all the buildings together into a little town while he snaps a picture for the company social media accounts. It’s actually pretty adorable once assembled and Carlos goes home that night strangely optimistic about what the rest of the week has in store.

Tuesday is business as usual and by the time Wednesday morning rolls around Carlos finds himself excitedly driving into work, his gift for T.K. in the passenger seat. He’s scrapped all his other gifts and spent the last two days looking for better items. Last night he visited a local tea shop and probably went a little overboard. They’d definitely upsold him on a few things and he’d let it happen because Monday’s gingerbread decorating had put a kernel of hope in his chest and…it can’t hurt to make sure T.K. likes his gifts, right?

He drops off T.K.’s gift bag and is only mildly disappointed when he walks into his own cubicle to find his desk is empty. It doesn’t matter; at least, that’s what he tells himself. Honestly, he’s not surprised. People are terrible at doing Secret Santa, it’s very likely that his person has forgotten him in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season.

He heads to his desk and gets right to work because they’re all heading out early to help with a toy drive at the local fire station; another of Owen’s brilliant ideas to encourage office camaraderie. It means he has a lot more to take care of than usual to try and make up for the lost time, and by mid-morning he’s in desperate need of a second coffee.

He’s about to get up and make one when his phone rings. It’s Ernie, their security guard from downstairs informing him that there’s a delivery waiting for him. Confused but intrigued Carlos heads for the elevator.

“Hey Ernie, all set for the holidays?” he asks when he reaches the desk on the ground floor.

“Just about. Got a couple more things to pick up today, but then I should be good to go,” Ernie tells him. He nods toward a bag and a coffee cup on the desk. “That’s for you.”

“Thanks.”

Carlos picks up the white paper sack and has to hold back a snort when he sees what’s written on the side. Hope the holidays don’t make you “cronuts”- FF. He peeks inside and inhales the scent of cronuts from Twiggy’s. Cronuts are a massive weakness of his, and a sip of the coffee tells him it’s made just to his specifications, a little bit of cream, no sugar. Whoever his Festive Friend is, they know him well. His suspicions are definitely leaning more and more toward Lexi.

He gets back in the elevator and when he steps off he nearly runs over T.K. “Whoa, sorry,” he says, holding up the coffee so it doesn’t spill all over T.K.’s chest.

“Lunch?” T.K. asks, nodding toward the bag.

“A snack from my ‘Festive Friend,’” he says. “Cronuts from the Twiggy’s.”

“That place is great. Enjoy,” T.K. says. 

“Do you want one?” The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself. God he’s needy. “I um, I got two and I can’t eat both. They’re really only good fresh, it’s not like I can save one—“

“Sure.” T.K. thankfully interrupts his ramble and the affirmative response sends a jolt of electricity through him.

They step into the break room and T.K. boils some hot water for tea before settling down across from Carlos at one of the high top tables, a kitschy little vase of fake flowers between them. 

Carlos pulls out the cronuts and puts each one on a paper plate. They’re decorated for the season as little Santa bellies, and hopefully they’re as delicious as he remembers. He slides one toward T.K. before picking up his own and taking a massive bite. He has to hold back a groan. They’re freaking amazing.

When he looks up he finds T.K. staring at him with an amused smirk on his face. “Sorry,” Carlos says, feeling his cheeks heat. “I um, these are my favorite.”

“So I can see,” T.K. says, the smirk widening a little. “The last time I saw that look we were both way more naked.”

Carlos feels his entire face go red at the reminder. He finishes chewing his bite, trying not to let memories of said naked time take over his brain. “So your dad,” he says. “He’s really into the holidays huh? We’ve never had so many festive office events.”

“Yeah my dad doesn’t really do anything by half measures,” T.K. says. “I think he might be overcompensating on the holiday cheer a little bit this year. The move down here was kind of a lot and I haven’t exactly been a bundle of joy lately, so he’s trying to fix it with cocoa and faux Christmas wreaths.”

Carlos takes another bite and thinks carefully about his next move. This new dynamic between them still feels tenuous, and he doesn’t want to fracture it. But at the same time, he can see the unfiltered hurt in T.K.’s eyes and he longs to help bear the weight of it. “You mentioned a breakup the other day,” he says quietly. “Is that part of why you came?”

T.K. blows out a breath and looks down at his cronut. “It’s the whole reason we came.”

Carlos watches as he wrestles internally and he’s just about to say that T.K. doesn’t have to tell him anything, when T.K. starts to speak again. “I had a boyfriend, in New York. Alex. We were together for like…I don’t know, a year I guess? He was the first boyfriend I’d had since getting sober and I wanted it to work so badly. Like this relationship was proof I finally had my shit together, you know?”

Carlos nods.

“I had this plan, I was going to propose to him. Had a ring, a restaurant, the whole thing. I was basically down on one knee and he—he told me he’d been cheating on me. With his spin instructor.”

Something hot and violent shoots through Carlos. “That motherfucker,” he says, before he can stop himself.

T.K. looks up in surprise and lets out a startled laugh.

“Sorry,” Carlos says. “That’s just…wow what an asshole.”

“Yeah he definitely was,” T.K. says, looking a little more relaxed now, as if Carlos’ angered sympathy has put him more at ease. “For a long time I think. I can look back on it now and see little moments. We only ever went where he wanted to go for dinner. He was always busy when I asked him to meet my friends. There was stuff I was overlooking because I was trying to prove to everyone else that I was stable.”

“I get that,” Carlos says.

T.K. shifts a little. “I went home after that, found a bottle of pills and…took them until I couldn’t feel anymore. My dad had to bust down the door to save my life.” He shrugs. “And that’s how we ended up here. He knew I needed to get away, so he took me as far as he could get.”

He looks up at Carlos. “I’m doing better now. Well, kind of.” He indicates his black eye. “But that’s why I freaked out on you that night. It wasn’t the champagne or anything you did. You were—you were so kind to me Carlos. I just wasn’t ready for it. And I’m really sorry that I walked out on you.”

The urge to reach over and touch him, to hold his hands and soothe away the hurt that’s painted into the lines of his forehead is overwhelming. But he’s not sure T.K. would be into that so he grips his own thighs instead. “Thank you for telling me,” he says. “That all sounds really difficult. I’m sorry I ambushed you. And I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding when I realized you were uncomfortable. I think um, I think my ego took a little bit of a hit,” he says sheepishly.

“Oh you think Mr. ‘I Know It Doesn’t Look Like a Lot of Work’?” T.K. asks with a grin.

“Hey, that fish took me like three hours to make,” Carlos teases. “You missed out.”

T.K. sobers a little and fiddles with his cronut again. “I think I missed out on a lot.”

Carlos opens his mouth to offer a response, but Lexi pokes her head into the break room. “Carlos, your phone is ringing off the hook.”

“Coming,” he says, sliding off the stool and picking up his plate with the last couple bites of cronut on it. “Are you going to the toy drive this afternoon?”

“Boss dad said be there so yeah, I’m going,” T.K. says. “Thanks for the cronut.”

“You’re welcome,” Carlos says and then hustles back to his cubicle, where his phone is indeed ringing off the hook. He shoves the last bite of cronut into his mouth as he sits down, chewing furiously before he picks up. “This is Carlos.”

An HR crisis means Carlos is the last one to leave the office and arrive at the fire station’s toy drive. He looks for T.K. as soon as he gets there, but Lexi pulls him over to a table where they’re taking donations for one of the local food pantries. 

“So,” Lexi says as they fill boxes with canned beans and stuffing mix and mac and cheese, “looks like someone’s back on Carlos Reyes’ nice list. Although with the way you were looking at him, seems more like you’d prefer he stay on the naughty list.”

“Lexi!” Carlos hisses, looking around. “There are kids here!”

“Oh they can’t hear me,” she scoffs, handing him a bag of flour. “They’re all at the make-an-ornament station.”

Carlos looks over and finds T.K. hunkered down by that very table, laughing and smiling as he helps a couple kids glue pompoms and sequins to colored paper. It’s adorable and Carlos’ heart melts a little at the sight.

“See? That look right there. You’ve got it bad. You want him to jingle your ba—“

“I’m going to remind you that I’m your HR rep and you probably shouldn’t finish that sentence,” he says quickly.

“Fine.” She rolls her eyes. “But you two did look pretty cozy in the break room earlier. The great branzino war is over I take it?”

“Yeah we had a good talk,” Carlos says.

She clears her throat. “You can say thank you anytime now you know.”

He furrows his brow. “For what?”

“For making you do Festive Friends and fixing your broken heart.”

“My heart was not broken,” he scoffs.

“You have been acting like you’re in the last ten minutes of a Hallmark movie for weeks. Time to finally realize you’re in love and kiss under the mistletoe,” Lexi tells him.

“Just because we’re friendly now doesn’t mean we’re going to kiss.”

“Okay. Sure. Believe whatever you want.”

There’s a massive influx then from a church group and thankfully the matter is dropped for the rest of the night.

On Friday Carlos stops at home to change his clothes before heading to a local bar for their holiday party and the big Festive Friends reveal. He puts on a pair of dark jeans and winces when he pulls on the ugly sweater that Owen insisted they all wear. As far as they go, his is pretty tame, albeit with a bit more sparkle and pizazz than he usually goes for. It says Feliz Navidad in tinseled letters with some primary colored pom poms decorating the rest for good measure. It had been part of a family white elephant a few years ago and has sat in the back of his closet since for good reason. 

He gabs the box he wrapped up for T.K. on the way out the door. It’s nearly as brightly colored as his sweater. Generally he tries for a more sedate theme in wrapped gifts, but T.K. is so vivacious and colorful that he broke into the stash of wrapping paper he usually saves for his nieces and nephews.

He’s nervous as he drives and he can’t quite put his finger on why. Is it because he wants T.K. to like his gift? Because things between him and T.K. have shifted in a more positive direction and his stupid heart can’t quite stop believing that tonight might be like that first night at the honky tonk? Is it because he feels very stupid in this sweater and he really hopes everyone else obeyed Owen’s instructions from the email invite?

Probably all of it.

Ah well. At least if things don’t go well there will be liquor around to help drown his sorrows.

There’s immediate relief when he walks in through the doors of the bar and sees holiday themed knit-ware all over. “Hey Carlos, glad you came,” Owen says, greeting him at the door in a sweater with a massive reindeer head on the front.

“Mr. Strand,” Carlos says, giving him a nod.

“Carlos we’ve been over this. You can call me Owen,” Owen says, a tinge of good natured exasperation in his tone. 

“Yes, right, sorry” Carlos says, embarrassed. Didn’t he just chide Mateo for the same thing last week? Somehow this seems different. And definitely a weird way to address the man who fathered his most recent hookup.

“Go ahead and grab a drink, there’s hors d’oeuvres, I highly recommended the stuffed mushrooms, and then when the time feels right make sure you deliver your gift to your Festive Friend,” Owen says brightly. Then he leans close. “I got Judd a new belt. Italian leather, handcrafted, this thing is a masterpiece. He is gonna love it!”

“I’m sure he will,” Carlos agrees.

“Oh! Nancy! Come on in!” Owen gives Carlos a pat on the shoulder and moves past him to greet her.

Carlos says hello to Judd and his wife Grace, his eyes searching the room and finally landing on T.K. who is standing at the bar chatting with Mateo. Carlos’ heart flutters at the sight of him even as he tries to figure out what the heck is knitted on the back of his sweater. It appears to be a long, yellow tail, but that can’t possibly be right, can it? He takes a breath and then abruptly loses courage and goes to find Lexi instead. “Nice earrings,” he says when he gets to her table.

“Thanks,” she says, pushing her hair back so he can see them better. “They’re from my ‘Festive Friend’ Marjan.”

“Great,” Carlos says as he grabs a chip from a bowl on the table. “Did you give Paul your gift?”

“Yes, he is thrilled with the crime novels I got him. He hasn’t read that author yet so hopefully he likes them.” She gives him a look. “Why do you still have T.K.’s?”

“I haven’t seen him yet,” Carlos says defensively.

“You mean you saw him and you’re too chicken to go over there because you’re having feelings and don’t know what to do with them,” she says bluntly. “Are you going to ask him out when you give it to him?”

“I—I don’t know,” Carlos says. “That seems pushy.”

“You two were practically making out in that break room.”

“We were literally sitting three feet apart,” Carlos says dryly. 

“Fine. You were emotionally making out.”

He wrinkles his nose. “That’s not a thing.”

“I think you should ask him. It’s Christmas. The season of miracles. And wishes. And Santa shit. This is your chance!” she says enthusiastically.

“How much have you had to drink?” he asks.

She scoffs. “This isn’t drunkeness. It’s my Christmas wish that you grow a pair and ask T.K. out.”

“That is a terrible wish,” Carlos says. 

“Well it is what it is. You wouldn’t want to break a girl’s heart at Christmas would you?”

He opens his mouth to respond but Paul calls Lexi’s name and beckons her toward him. “That’s my cue,” she says, hopping off her bar stool. “Gonna go kick Paul’s ass at darts. Good luck!”

And with that she’s gone, leaving Carlos alone with his feelings and his gift box. He stares at it for a moment and gives himself a stern pep talk. It’s a gift. Not a marriage proposal. If T.K. hates it, it’s whatever. 

“Hey Carlos.”

He’s waited too long. He looks up to find T.K. standing on the other side of the table, a smile on his face. Carlos can now see the front of his sweater. Some kind of lizard smiles at him, clearly the front end of the tail he spotted before. Above it are the words “Merry Crickets.” It is truly the most hideous thing he’s ever laid eyes on, but somehow T.K. makes it look adorable.

“Hey,” he replies..

Excellent. Great. He’s crushing this.

“Nice sweater,” T.K. says, taking a sip of the drink in his hand. 

“Thanks. This is some party. Your dad is quite the host.”

T.K. rolls his eyes, but there’s a fondness to it. “Just be grateful I talked him out of chartering a party bus. And roller skating.”

“Your dad thought our holiday party should be at a roller rink?”

“He was going with an 80’s holiday theme at first,” T.K. says. “It took a lot of bargaining to get him down to ugly sweater instead. I think he was an event planner in a former life.”

“He definitely has a flair for it,” Carlos agrees. He looks down at the present in front of him. He should have gotten a drink before doing this. “So um, actually, I’m your Festive Friend. Surprise. This is for you.”

He slides it across the table and T.K.’s eyes immediately light up. “Can I open it now?” he asks eagerly.

He looks like a kid on Christmas morning and it’s so endearing that Carlos can barely breathe. “Yeah, yes, it’s all yours.”

T.K. pulls off the bow and rips open the paper, lifting out the soft yellow sweatshirt inside. He doesn’t say anything for a moment and Carlos feels a flutter of nerves. “It’s—“

“The sweatshirt Harry Styles wore in New York last summer,” T.K. says. His tone is almost reverent, his thumbs moving back and forth to stroke the material. “Oh my god. I have Harry Styles’ sweatshirt.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not the exact one he wore,” Carlos says, feeling sheepish. “But I know you like him and hoodies so it seemed right.”

“It must have taken forever for you to find this,” T.K. says.

“Oh, no, it was…it was no big deal,” Carlos says, omitting the entire night he spent on instagram combing through Harry’s outfits of the last few years and trying to find them for sale. 

“Thank you Carlos,” T.K. says, sincere gratitude in his voice. “This is amazing. All your gifts were amazing.”

“I mean, that hat was kind of lame,” Carlos says, still embarrassed that he bought something so generic.

“No it’s great! I’m going to wear it the next time I go to an Astros game,” T.K. says, a twinkle of mischief in his eye.

Carlos chuckles. “Yeah good luck with that.”

“Did you get your last gift yet?” T.K. asks casually.

Carlos shakes his head. “Not yet.”

“Any guesses who it might be?”

He has no idea. There’s no one in the office that knows him well enough to send him cronuts besides Lexi and he knows she had Paul. “No,” he says. “Usually I’m pretty good at figuring this kind of thing out, but everyone in the office is so new I haven’t really been able to get a read on anyone.”

“Marjan?”

“She had Lexi.”

“Paul?” 

Carlos looks around until he finds him standing in a corner next to a Christmas tree, laughing at something Lexi just said. “I don’t think so. He’s from Chicago, I doubt he would know about Twiggy’s.”

“Judd?”

“Something tells me he wouldn’t know about cronuts either,” Carlos says with a laugh. “I feel like it has to be someone who knows me pretty well, but Lexi is the only one—“

His eyes land on T.K.’s face and he knows. He can see it in his eyes and he feels stupid he didn’t realize it before when T.K. used that false casual tone. “You?” he asks in surprise. “You’re my Festive Friend?”

T.K. reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. “Merry Christmas,” he says as he hands it to Carlos. 

Still in a little bit of shock Carlos carefully lifts the flap on the envelope to reveal a printed out email inside. “A cooking class?” he asks, looking up to search T.K.’s eyes. 

T.K. nods, a flicker of nerves flashing over his face. “It’s bruschetta, pasta, and a dessert. A husband and wife team run it out of their home. I thought, I mean you obviously know how to cook, but I thought it might be fun.”

“It sounds amazing,” Carlos says genuinely. He’s always wanted to try his hand at homemade pasta.

T.K. nods and takes a breath. “I um, I got you two tickets. You can take whoever you want, but I—“ He runs his hands nervously over his jeans. “I know I fucked things up between us, so I was hoping that maybe this could be kind of a do-over for us. If you want?”

“Yes,” Carlos says immediately. It’s embarrassingly fast and absolutely gives away how badly he wants them to try again, but he doesn’t care. “Yes I would love a do-over.”

“Yeah?” T.K. asks, his eyes full of hope.

“Yeah,” Carlos says. A smile plays on his lips and he’s about to thank T.K. for his other gifts when something occurs to him. “You little shit!” he says incredulously. “You bought me those cronuts and then sat there and ate one like you had no clue who’d given them to me!”

T.K. sends him a wicked smile. “I was counting on your holiday generosity,” he says.

“How did you even know about that bakery?” Carlos asks.

“You mentioned it,” T.K. says. “I don’t know, it was the second or third time we hooked up. I saw a flyer for them on your fridge and you told me how good they were.”

“You remember that?” Carlos asks in surprise. After their blowup he’d convinced himself that he was just a warm body for T.K. to be with, another notch in his bedpost who’d meant nothing to him.

T.K. looks at him, his face serious. “I remember all of it Carlos.”

The words make his heart swell and he hysterically wonders if this is how the Grinch felt when he heard the Who’s singing on Christmas. “I remember too,” he says. “It was incredible.”

“That first night, in the honky tonk. Best bathroom hookup of my life,” T.K. tells him.

“Only bathroom hookup of my life,” Carlos says.

“Yeah, I know,” T.K. says with a roll of his eyes.

“How could you know that?”

“Because you kept looking around like it was the most unsanitary thing you’d ever seen in your life,” T.K. tells him. “So I made it my mission to make you forget all about it. Pretty sure I succeeded.”

Carlos flushes as he  thinks about T.K.’s mouth and his hands and the way they felt on his body. “You definitely did.” His gaze drops to T.K.’s lips. “God, I want to kiss you so badly right now.”

T.K. smirks, clearly please that he’s turned Carlos on in the middle of this bar. “What’s stopping you?”

“Um the fact that all of our co-workers are here. And also your dad,” Carlos says with a laugh.

As if on cue Owen’s voice rings out over the crowd. “All right everyone!” He claps his hands a couple times. “If I could have everyone’s attention please! Thank you all for coming to the 126 Designs holiday party. I have a little surprise up my sleeve. Tonight, we are going to be participating in some holiday karaoke!”

A bar employee rolls a karaoke machine in out of nowhere to cheers from the crowd. “Did you know?” Carlos asks.

“No,” T.K. says. “But I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Get on over here!” Owen encourages them. “Judd! Let’s hear a little Deck the Halls buddy!”

“Come on.”

T.K. reaches for Carlos’ hand and pulls him toward a side door. “Wait, what about karaoke?” Carlos asks.

“Do you really want to stay here and listen to my dad attempt a version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town?”

Carlos considers this. “Actually…”

T.K. laughs and tugs him again. “Come on Reyes.”

They step outside into the night, the door closing behind them. It’s quiet and the air has a slight chill. Nothing that would even hint at a white Christmas, but enough that it feels like the holiday season instead of the dead of summer. A few stars have managed to permeate the light pollution and the moon shines brightly above them.

The side of the restaurant is lit by a single streetlamp, giving them just enough light to see each other, but also the illusion of privacy from anyone else who might be walking by. T.K. leans against the brick of the wall and tugs Carlos toward him, dropping his hand so he can grab his waist, his thumb pressing into the crease between Carlos’ thigh and his hip through his pants. “Well,” T.K. says, the cocky ass smirk on his face that shoots something hot through Carlos’ veins. “Go ahead. Kiss away.”

Carlos looks around in fake concern. “Mmm, I don’t know. Someone could still see us out here.”

“Don’t worry,” T.K. pulls a sprig of mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads. “I swiped this from inside. Now you have to kiss me. Christmas rules.”

“Oh is that right?” Carlos asks with smile, pressing in a little closer, and lifting a hand to run it through T.K.’s hair before sliding it down to cradle the back of his neck.

“Definitely,” T.K. says.

Carlos doesn’t waste another second before leaning in and fitting their lips together. The sparks inside him whirl and dance before bursting into full on flames. It feels like coming home. 

T.K. opens up and invites him in, their bodies coming flush together, searching for as much contact as possible. Carlos fists one hand into T.K.’s hair, the other landing solidly on his lower back and urging him closer, while T.K.’s roam everywhere, traveling Carlos’ biceps, his chest, his back, his ass, and everything in between. 

Carlos slots a thigh between T.K.’s legs, pressing into him and T.K.’s head falls back against the wall, eyes closing as he lets out something between a groan and a sigh. Carlos smiles and uses the change in position to press kisses into the sensitive spot just below his ear. “I missed you,” he says in between breaths.

“I missed you too. Am I going to have to report this to HR?” T.K. asks.

Carlos pauses and pulls back, sending T.K. a withering look. “Haha,” he says dryly. “Thanks for reminding me that I’m going to have my hands full with this one in the new year.”

“My ass is quite a handful,” T.K. says with a smirk. “But you can handle it. It’s just a little bit of paperwork. And someone got you really nice pens for the holidays.”

“Yeah someone did,” Carlos says, poking him in the side until he squirms. “Speaking of paperwork, you owe me a thank you note for your gifts.”

T.K. bites his lip. “Why don’t you take me back to your place and I’ll do a little better than a thank you note?”

Fuck. Carlos swallows hard. “What about the party? Won’t your dad be upset?”

“I’m spending Christmas day with him. He’ll live.” He slides a finger along the waistband of Carlos’ jeans. “We can go back in if you really want to though. I do a mean rendition of Jingle Bell Rock. We can stand in there with all of our co-workers and you can try not to think about how good I’d make you feel if the two of us were in bed together.”

Carlos strokes a thumb across T.K.’s cheek. “As much as I would like to hear you sing Jingle Bell Rock, I think I’d rather take you home.”

T.K. gestures toward the street. “Then lead on Festive Friend.”

It’s the merriest Christmas Carlos has had in a long time. 

#Tarlos #Tarlos Secret Santa #tarlossanta #tarlossanta23 #Festive Friends #Office AU #Christmas #Secret Santa #Christmas Fluff

[averagestarkidfan]

ok I keep really wanting to analyze hatchetfield themes but literally what are the lords in black?? like from a storytelling standpoint why these five? what do these motifs come together to create? when you are designing a pantheon of malevolent deities, why do you choose these guys?

I think we all seem to start with Nibbly when analyzing because he has the clearest main motif (and also the most interesting imo) so maybe it's a seven deadly sins thing, and Nibbly is greed

but if it's deadly sins then why are there five of them? like maybe Wiggly is both greed and pride? and they took out envy? or something? it just doesn't make sense to me, even though seven deadly sins was one of the first things that came to mind

well let's consider Blinky then, because he also has a very clear main motif. maybe it's meant to be the five senses! Nibbly is taste and Blinky is sight, in accordance with their main features. then, Pokey can be hearing, because of the whole singular voice thing. and I guess Wiggly is touch, which is kind of a reach but that can be like consumerism or something... but then Tinky fucking ruins it! bc how is that fucker smell? what does he do that is smelly?

so back to square one I guess. maybe let's start from Wiggly this time, he is kinda the main guy. he's also very green! maybe it's a color thing? ignoring the fact that there's the wrong number of them (there being 6 colors in the rainbow), let's explore this theory

green is definitely characterized by jealousy and greed, which would fit the capitalism thing he's got going on. and Nibbly is pink, which is just red, which can represent passion, which kind of fits. blue for Pokey is like inspiration and imagination so.. theater? that fits I guess. Yellow is excitement, which definitely fits Tinky. Blinky is both purple and orange, and purple is like independence, dignity, and royalty? I'm kinda shoving the puzzle pieces together here but maybe it's like royalty sitting on the throne and.. like.. watching people? and the orange is for.. enthusiasm. because he watches people with enthusiasm. It sort of fits, but only if I force it.

maybe there's not really a pattern going on, but like what is the deal with these guys? like two of them have animal symbolism (Nibbly and Tinky being pigs and goats respectively) but then Pokey is like goo and masks and musical theater, and Blinky is all eyeballs, and Wiggly is sort of like... the system of capitalism? It's a mess. A masterful mess, don't get me wrong, but a mess nonetheless.

If anyone has more info or perhaps more coherent theories let me know, I'm kinda going crazy over here.

#starkid #lords in black #wiggly #wiggog y'wrath #nibbly #nibblenephim #blinky #bliklotep #tinky #t'noy karaxis #pokey #pokotho #nerdy prudes must die

[goodlucksock]

My bio engineer wife had her degree revoked for creating flying pigs and now she won't talk to me about it. It's a soar subject.

Flying Pig socks available at GoodLuckSock.com

#pig #pigs #flying pigs #flying pig #oink oink #when pigs fly #pig farm #socks #novelty socks #novelty sock #good luck socks #sock shop #crazy socks #fun socks #sock design

[eminsunnytoons123]

Disclaimer: this will always get updated And when I reblog it, it Means that it Got updated again.

The muppets Show: Life in the boarding home

Characters list:

The muppets:

The muppets (they appear in almost EVERY EPISODE, but not every episode is about them, they just help the Main supporting muppets that have most attention in each episodes) - Kermit, fozzie, miss piggy gonzo, Rizzo, Pepe, rowlf, yolanda, scooter

Main supporting muppets (they appear a Lot just like the Main ones And they are VERY important to the series And episodes, And im adding more) - sam eagle, Skeeter, dr teeth, Janice, Lips, Floyd, animal, Zoot, Vicki, Clifford, digit, Waldo C Graphic, bean Bunny, Lindbergh, Leon lizard, Flash, solid foam drummer (aka Kimberly), beard, zondra, Ubu, chip, Constantine, swedish chef, Wayne And Wanda, Mildred huxetetter, miss mousey, afghan hound, baskerville hound, Camilla chicken, Walter, Crazy Harry, Lew Zealand, uncle deadly, Bobo bear, dr Phil van neuter, waldorf And statler, beauregard, link hogthrob, dr Julius strangepork, Marvin suggs, the newsman, Robin the frog, sweetums, thog, timmy Monster, the mutations, Annie sue, Denise pig, 80s robot, behemoth, big mean Carl, doglion, Fletcher Bird, Betsy Bird, George the janitor, foo-foo, gaffer the pirate Cat, Johnny fiama, Sal minella, mahna mahna, the snowths, Mr poodlepants, Seymour, spamela Hamderson, mulch, Bubba the rat, gorgon heap,

Reccuring/minor/additional characters (they sometimes or rarely appear in some episodes, but they even dont live with The muppets in the boarding home) - Hilda, Gladys, trumpet girl (Dolores), cliffy hatzis, cliffster Hatzis, Nigel, Mary Louise, selena the brunette haired whatnot, Tammy the red haired whatnot, Isabella the dirty-blonde haired whatnot, violette the brunette haired whatnot, merice the blue whatnot, Lauren the light Purple whatnot, flower eating Monster, Katherine Seahorsse Atlantic, Clara Hatzis, green muck Monster, angelco And devilzo, Angelica And demonica, kermgel And devmit, Jeremy the light blue whatnot, Mikey the orange whatnot,

Guest characters (these are the characters that appear in each episodes And sometimes have attention on them, or theyre from other muppets media And appear only a little bit) - wocka agent bear, Cosmo bopper, ghost of Christmas past, ghost of Christmas present, And ghost of Christmas future, green muck Monster,

Main supporting whatnot Show gang characters (and they appear in each episode to help the muppets with some problems, And yes theyre important to the story too, And im still editing this) - dermot the dog, miss tiggy, Ozzy woodchuck, Gustavo the King ladybug, Pierce the chinchilla, paisley the persian Cat, bonzo the amazing Monkey, Sid the British bulldog, dr tounge, ibeeria, Sgt Easton Oliver, yakim, vegetable, Mateo, auncle heavenly, ceco the andean bear, Leo the axolotl, raiden the semi radio person, Max Gerbils, una, Frederick the toucan, Jagger the Fox, Iggy D digital, dr quill Owens, zuri the chinchilla, snooper, Victor, kameron Gibson, Tristan Nelson Koala, crazed Gael, Maxwell Armstrong, Sammy the dog, Aleksandr the dog, tiana the fairy, dr Aristotle un wonders, kiyoshi, Napoleon Thibault, tarrasque, weather man, bi-bi, Sneeker, Remington the hippo, miss Batty, carina flamingo, italian culinarian, Mr. Parrotyno, Willa, Maverick the yeti, Clark the computer designer, Bartha the Ragdoll Cat, christoper the Ragdoll Cat, sea ocean witch man, O' Theodore Purple, the telephaty Brothers, 60's telephone, Miroslav Agovich, the trolls (bluan, huang And pinkery), yuna flowerwoman, chirping lovebird, ignorant Alfred, rude Oscar, naive lester, Cody the chihuahua, Garrett the pug, micah the Pitbull, Kathy And Kevin, Fred the janitor, adolpha the jungle parrot,

Main supporting teppums characters (the same like whatnot Show gang, they always help the muppets in any problems or trouble, And im still editing this) - timrek the sheep, madame camela, Evan the Elephant, Hector the brilliant, quade the fennec Fox, litvik the King cobra, arlo, dr linnaeus un shingems, Shane the american bison, Travis, Zane, lavi the King lion, stephany, dr Lips, Sgt Gideon Quinn, wilds Benner, Nicolas, Werner, Elias the Alligator, Abram the semi laptop Guy, Cassie, George E flyer, Liam the miniature horse, berengar the gecko, ben the otter, belladonna, Gunner the kapre, Arthur the game designer, tiana, madame gerbilsy, insane Axel, Asher the lamb, madame Li-Li, journalist man, gem the genie, tough Draco, glemsom Sebastian, monsieur gerbilso, Lionel the King lion II, Alfred And Chester, Diana the mermaid, Victoria the fennec Fox, sindy the verdin Bird, Raphael abadie, Federico agosti, rodan the Diamond Giant, Master Vincent, french has slinger, Daniil the dall sheep, Henrietta sunflowera

Main supporting parodies show characters - coming soon.... (Theyre not created yet, but soon will)

Main villains/antagonists - kermoot the frog, foozie bear, miss poogy, roowlf the dog, Bonzor the fantastic, paloma the flying shrimp, cici the mouse, dr dentist, janooce, flora, zotts, Lipst, animool, Camillo the rooster, soom the hawk, aunt goatella (she is a Nice Lady :3), Boryslav the frog, Tanya the red-brown haired whatnot, dr Vanessa van michigen, beba the Polar bear (she is a Nice Lady too), Jennifer Ferguson, schi-schi the red panda, Scarlett the black-haired whatnot, boombox catfish "Benjamin", Ruby the semi computery girl, Darren, Petunia parrot, Martha the Chameleon, Beeny the digital bee, pinks the news reporter Bird, dr Barbara, geekera, Mad Blake, Andrea zingler, Xavier, Ray the bigfoot, ash the Graphic designer, booper, British cooker, Wendy, Edward the antarctic fox, Thomas and Tristan, arabella And Frances, stormer, busher, solid cotton guitarist "sarah", yacoub the mouse, maria Santana, Beepera, Sebastian the Rhino, elids the garden witch troll, Rosalie the frog, miss persian Lady, reporter man, Hannah And Anna pig, miss mi-mi, Henry the mouse, maddison pig, Gabrielle Pig, golem rose witch, hadria MacAfee, fantastic Day green witch, Crystal snowe the snowy owl, galatea the janitor, the telekinesis Sisters, miss Theodora Huang, forgetfull Mirabella, mean penny, arrogant Mahira, 70s computer, Gavin frog, caleb frog, glothcher the frog, Giant rude Alexandro And Miranda gonzales

Muppets Monsters quintet (theyre the antagonists too, but they dont appear a lot) - ker-monster, ghoulfriend, wocka wocka bear, noseferatu and muck monster

And this is for all my besties/Sisters And brothers/pen pals who really love my Work, And that love me just the way I am And that always make me feel loved, And i would never let any of the besties And auntie that i lost make me feel more anxious And stressed out for what I fucking did to my blue haired auntie. And i will always care And love my besties/Sisters And brothers/pen pals no matter what. 💗

@splashy900 @kxllboii @cheezekennith @aquamarine-dream-queen @dayzsaclark @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @sharkyy599 @nightkit92 @familyoffood @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sophia-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @xxkurosakutisaxx @xxkurosakutisaxxaltofshitaccount @ducktoonz903707 @muppet-fan-real @artismeyou-12 @blackstar044 @acen402 @walt-diego-rodriguez @goatsarecool1 @nia1sworld @rumplestiltsbear @s4gefr0g @beeware-of-lulu @leafith

#the muppets #the muppets show: life in the boarding home #TMS: LITBH characters list #TMS: LITBH wiki on tumblr #the moopets #the whatnot show #the teppums show #the parodies show #emi rambles #the parodies cousin show

[rosethornewrites]

So I’m watching The Untamed again, this time with my niece and my mom. Mom still knows only Wei Wuxian’s name. So let’s go through the names of everyone else.

Jiang Cheng = angry brother

Jiang Yanli = sister

Jiang Fengmian = angry brother’s dad

Yu Ziyuan = angry mom

Lan Wangji = boyfriend

Lan Xichen = boyfriend’s brother

Lan Qiren = boyfriend’s uncle

Wen Qing = doctor lady

Wen Ning = cinnamon bun

Wen Ruohan = big bad

Wen Chao = dude who threw wwx into the Burial Mounds (I have tried others and they don’t stick but we’re far enough in that it doesn’t matter anymore)

Wen Xu = dude who burned down boyfriend’s home

A-Yuan/Lan Sizhui = baby boy

Nie Mingjue = mustache guy

Nie Huaisang = fan boy

Meng Yao/Jin Guangyao = bastard son

Jin Guangshan = pig

Jin Zixuan = stick up the ass

Jin Zixun = asshole cousin

Song Lan = guy who lost his eyes (this will likely shift as we get to the Yi City arc)

Xue Yang = crazy dude who blinded Song Lan

We haven’t gotten to the juniors much yet.

(Mom’s nearing seventy and has had several strokes, so I don’t expect this to change.)

My niece doesn’t need these designations. She’s picked up on the names quickly and is even good with the various titles, courtesy names, and birth names. However, she knows these designations because we sometimes have to pause to tell Mom who’s on the screen or being talked about.

#the untamed #mo dao zu shi #cql #chen qing ling #mdzs

[punk-in-docs]

‼️TAINTED LOVE ‼️

Detective (Killer) Quinn x Reader ‼️ Dark Drabble ‼️

Inspired entirely by this post which I glimpsed via @ravensfromvalhalla from @ceriseheaven hope this is ok that I rolled with this gif/idea.

I have no freakin’ clue what warped part of my brain is responsible for this fuckery but alas, here we are- pure filthy darkness within. Read at your own caution. Come scream at my inbox about this if you so desire.

Los Angeles - 1987

You’re where you usually are. Stalking the fringes at a blood soaked crime scene.

Brutal. Vicious. Sad creamy walls spattered in blood. Two dead they say. No word details leaked yet. You scraped yourself out of bed and got here before the sun was even warm.

Desperate to talk to anyone to make your deadline and get this in the morning papers tomorrow. Maybe you’d get print. Maybe this fucking time you’ll beat Cooper to the bylines. Maybe maybe-

You exist on maybes these days. You eat breathe sleep and cram them. You put on your sensible cloud grey skirt and black heels and you hunt for the news for your shitty paper. For the job that barely keeps you in food and scooping together enough for rent.

Your next story is here. Tucked away where you’re stood, locked deep in the slanted set of the Hollywood hills. Astral Drive.

Strips of yellow crime scene tape holds back your lot. The inquisitive reporters with pads and pen in hand. Avid eyes. Wolves. Snatching any information you could from the cops. Hungry fingers. Pens poised.

Your head snaps to the drive up to this sleepy cul-de-sac with the assaulting shriek that comes forth.

Tainted Love comes blasting rude from the windows of a maraschino red Porsche. Red like a heartthrob. It drowns out the din of camera crews and stoic cops not giving a fucking damn inch.

Come on. I’ve got a deadline. Can’t you give me anything?

Back behind the yellow tape ma’am.

Just trying to do my job here, Officer. Same as. You. You hurl back. Glaring through your glasses lenses.

The car comes crashing into view. Parks screeching and sloppily next to the pale cop cruisers. Rabid red and the driver is a maniac.

Door flying open and huge black stomping boots are the first things to spill out.

That’s the first time you see him. Not notice. See.

He can’t be missed. Not in that car. Not with that swaggering walk - those clothes. He dresses like he’s right out that Schumacher movie. The Kiefer Sutherland one about Vampires.

All this vicious LA sunshine, and he’s in a black PVC leather trench coat. All shiny shimmers. Unyielding on the eyes. Slicked back curls worn like oil slick on his head. A white tee and a silver chain or two clamped around his neck. Slamming around a pale neck as he strolls.

Chewing red gum and black shades on. He frowns at the house in the terrible bright sun. Like he’s angry at being here. Angry at daylight. Truly vampish. Nails bitten a little - painted a gummy shade of black.

He’s wild and crazy. Unhinged like that Blondie song. You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet.

He adjusts his shades on his nose. Slams the car door like he’s putting on a freakin’ show. Probably reeks of stuffy Paco Rabanne. Pour Homme. Something that comes out a black and gold sleek bottle. The cologne that buffets as he walks past. Lingering on where he doesn’t.

“Freshly waxed. Don’t dare fucking touch her, pigs. Understand?” He flicks at the chest of a tubby cop as he walks by. Talking about his beloved baby. His bloody car.

Disdain thrown to his leather back as he swirls past them. Coat tails lap at his black pressed slacks. His boots are black crocodile skin. Tacky as fuck.

You can’t deny he is stunning, though.

Chocolate curls and puddle melting eyes, all brown. A face that’s entirely too youthful and sweetly handsome for this job.

He’s stunning the way a tiger is. All stunning rippling display and sinew designed to bite, lick his long canines and show off.

Sharp deep eyes that hide a lot of carnality. He’s seen things. Hell. He’s done those awful things. He’s trod places no sane men would dare. He’s finishing a cigarette and letting it cloud over the taste of his crappy gritty morning coffee.

The crowds around him part like they’re negatively charged. He looks like an extra late to a film set. Not a detective. There’s just no way.

He yanks the tape up and is ducking under it like it’s nothing. No one stops him. Stomping across the path in those knocking heavy soled boots as he flicks a used cigarette back at the curb. It fizzled dead.

Yes way. The badge is hooked right there on his belt. Golden and true. Not even prominent. All ego and no cares, is this guy.

You and your fellow reporters clamour for details. Straining the crime scene tape to snap.

He turns his head at the push of microphones and tape recorders shoved forwards. Twists right around and time slows to treacle when he lowers his shades - to see you.

Sensible heels. Cute skirt. All babe. Pretty neck.

His eyes swim the length of you. Head to toe. There’s that tiger on the loose again.

He steps back and his coat laps swaying behind him. You gulp as he comes close like a gathering leather storm.

He tilts his head at you. “Paper?” He asks like it’s interesting to him.

“Chronicle.” You eek out. Unable to believe you might get something here. Might scrape some words together and make a meaty mighty piece out of this.

“Detective?” You ask. Your voice is a songbird he wants caged all for himself.

“Quinn.” He smooths. Smile like silk. Zipping another cigarette to his lips.

“I’m hoping for a lead here. You know. A girl’s gotta make rent somehow. Gimme something.” You’re not below begging.

“You’re on the wrong side of the tape. Leave us do the investigating.”

Can I get some details of who was involved? The type of attack? Is this the work of a serial killer? Should our public be worried. What, Another Night Stalker?” You rattle off.

You chirp too much, little bird.

He snatches the voice recorder out your hand.

“Two people. Brutal knife attack. No and yes.” Comes his answers.

That last answer chills you. “People should be worried.” You state.

He doesn’t respond.

He sticks his eyes right into yours. Looks through you. Like your skin was wet paper. Lights his cigarette in no rush and licks his plump lips.

“Trust me birdy, you just got a hell of a lot more than what you bargained for.“ He promises. Drawling.

Dropping his eyes up and down at you. Sheer flirt. Chucking the voice recorder back to you, that you barely catch.

“You got my number, yeah?” He checks as he sways away.

“Yeah 9-1-1.” You reply acidly.

He laughs in the crime scene doorway. Cackling away.

“Nah. It’s 666 honey.” He corrects. Shooting you a wink.

He absentmindedly hopes he managed to pick all the blood out from under his nails from last night. The guys inside made one bitch of a mess-

-

You frown a little later on. Listening back. When you wonder how he knows a knife was used and he hadn’t even entered the crime scene yet.

-

Next part? C’mon. I dare you❤️‍🩹‼️🔪

Tagging some beloved JQ/Munsonites 🔪 (I’ve no idea what this drabble even is I’m so sorry) @indouloureux @stiegasaw @munsonquinns @fujiihime @youaremyfamiliar @captain-tch @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @svenyves @sammararaven @feralgoblinbabe @groupie-love-71 @andromeda-andromeda @starbxcks @morganamoonstone @ramona-thorns

#joseph quinn stranger things #joseph quinn characters #eddie munson #punkwrites #joseph quinn gif #joseph quinn #dark drabble #serial killer #murder #dark fic #dark #dark but sexy #i would die for this man

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Forever Home Masterlist (2)

part one

and the house becomes a home again (ao3) - BLUEGREYKIM

Summary: Dan’s plane lands at one-thirty-two AM (he’s been tracking the flight since it took off, and his stomach’s been flipping with jitters since Dan’s phone switched to aeroplane mode and his texts stopped going through).

Two and a half months, since Dan's been home, and Phil has been going crazy.

(also known as the dan comes home fic)

cat bells (ao3) - N_Chu4Ever

Summary: The catboy photoshoot, except it all goes weirdly wrong because Phil accidentally bought Dan a magic cat costume off the internet. Oops.

cat bells 2: the philling (ao3) - N_Chu4Ever

Summary: Just after rewatching the first three PINOFs, a mysterious package arrives on Dan and Phil's doorstep. Inside is a new cat costume... and Phil has a slightly terrible idea.

🌸 cherry blossom 🌸 (ao3) - natigail

Summary: It had been a silly dream at first. The idea to have a cherry blossom tree in their garden they didn't even have yet. It hadn't felt like it was something that would really happen.

But it was real. Dan was watching their tree, Phil's arms around him, and hoping they would get to see its first bloom soon.

Couch Potatoes (ao3) - ahappyphil

Summary: Picking a sofa for the forever home

Curse of the Golden Pig (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: Dan disapproves of some of Phil's interior design choices — and despite all the compromises they've had to make, there's still a whole lot of them in the forever home. If he finds out Phil has snuck any of them into their new bedroom, and they're off-putting enough, he'll even refuse to sleep (or do anything ... else) in the same room as them.

Phil knows his whining is mostly superficial, though — Dan really doesn't mind it as much as he makes it seem, and even just a few kisses will make his facade crumble... a flawless tactic.

Forever Home (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Phil’s wanted a dog for as long as he can remember, and now that he and Dan are moving into their new house, it’s the perfect opportunity. But there’s just one problem: Phil’s allergic to dogs.

home (ao3) - Rawritsamehh

Summary: just a little drabblely thing

home wasn't built in a day (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: “Different, though,” Phil says. He sets the glass down, prisms of light cascading out around it, and then he presses firmly into Dan’s side and speaks with a thoughtful air of bone-deep certainty. “It feels real now. Like we’ve actually finally done it.”

Words lose their way somewhere between Dan’s brain and mouth and end up sticking in his throat. Phil rarely vocalizes his feelings, rarely draws on straightforward sincerity. But here he is, calm and settled at Dan’s side, unequivocally permanent.

“Even if half the lights and plumbing are out?” Dan asks eventually.

Phil’s laugh is soft and low in his chest. “Even if.”

It's Been Years (Thirteen) (ao3) - BLUEGREYKIM

Summary: It’s been years, Dan thinks. Twelve of them, by now. Thirteen, in October. They’re in their thirteenth year. God, he’s gotten older. Less than ten years to go before he’ll have known Phil for longer than he hasn’t.

late night talking (ao3) - theloveofbees

Summary: it surely wasn’t the weirdest thing phil had caught dan doing in their thirteen years of knowing each other, but it was up there.

or it's the summer before dan's tour and they talk on the floor of their office.

made for you (ao3) - BLUEGREYKIM

Summary: Phil, in all the years he's known Dan, can tell what he's thinking with a glance, a lock of eyes. Dan, in all the years he's known Phil, is the same.

aka the fic where they have a super psychic connection and insane communicative skills (real life)

New memories (ao3) - R3ad3r1

Summary: Phil looks at their new house with a hint of sadness. Dan fixes it in the most romantic way.

On The Balcony (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Whoever said moving to a forever home would be easy was lying.

Overheated (ao3) - kattdan

Summary: Phil's health issues

Returning home (ao3) - philsbignaturals

Summary: In which Dan returns to find a clingy Phil

Based on the selfie Dan took after returning from the European tour

Santa Buddy (ao3) - philsbignaturals

Summary: In which the boys host joint family Christmas in their forever home

Based on the Michael Bublé Santa Baby cover

summer skies (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Dan doesn’t think Phil's left the apartment, but he redials from his recent contacts all the same, listens to the ring for a few beats before he turns back, and there he is, curled sideways on his arm on the daybed, fast asleep in the shade.

(forever home, summer 2021)

Sutures (ao3) - jerseker

Summary: Phil returns to the forever home after a week away, just in time to pull Dan out of his negative thought spiral.

Taking a Break (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Phil has a broken leg.

unpacking forever (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Dan takes charge of the details, once they've moved in.

waking up in your arms with my mind on you and me (ao3) - natigail

Summary: On October 19th 2021, Phil wakes up first. Twelve years ago he woke up way too early, nervous for their first meeting and now they are waking up in their shared bed in their forever home. Phil allows himself to be a little sappy but it's okay because Dan easily joins him.

waking up to a dream (ao3) - vhslucky

Summary: "I missed you..." Phil mumbled against Dan's jacket, reveling in the familiarity of his smell. "I missed you more," Dan whispered warmly. Phil vehemently shook his head, "Not possible." Dan chuckled. Phil found that sound so sweet and endearing that he pulled him even closer.

with water out of sunlight (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Whoever was last in the house has left all the doors open, and there’s light spilling down the hallway and making the white walls glow.

(Dan walks the forever home.)

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfic #phan #phanfiction #dan and phil #masterlists #foreverhome masterlist #foreverhome #fluff #moving

[pumpkinfreak]

Watching Hannibal for the first time Ep 4-7

Let's just speed run to the good stuff because it gets nasty at episode six.

Ep 4. It's fine, crazy women forcing kidnapped boys to kill their families. Hannibal manipulates Abigail into viewing him as some kind of father figure.

Ep 5. A man dying of a brain tumor turns people into angels, via a modified blood eagle. Also, Morpheus's wife is dying of cancer, I know that's not his name, but I'm calling him that. To me, the most important thing is the mention of the Chesapeake Ripper.

This shot. Sensational.

Episode Six. EPISODE FREAKING SIX. So much happens.

An asylum inmate murders a nurse in a similar way to the Chesapeake Ripper. We meet a guy named Dr. Chilton, he is a douche-canoe, who thinks his patient is the Ripper. It's not, because it's Hannibal of course. He is the Ripper and the possibility of some NPC taking his glory. Sets him off on a spree. That leads us right into Episode seven.

Freddie also comes back in Ep 6. Will is incredibly sassy to her, I loved it. Freddie is a condescending narcissist, who dresses like an evil American Girl Dool.

Episode seven, gets a kiss, for opening with an homage to The Shining. The set design for that bathroom was so beautiful.

Anyway, Hannibal is on a rampage, in episode seven. The montage of him looking through his recipe box and then the Rolodex. THE ROLODEX of business cards. Then the dinner party at the end, where everyone claps for him. It is so clearly masturbatory for him. I really want to know why he chooses certain people. Will makes it clear that Ripper views his victims as pigs, but why these people?

Hannibal crying at the opera recital is interesting, I think there is something in Hannibal that's human, and I hope that's explored.

While all of this is happening, Will is slowly slipping into insanity, because he cannot separate himself mentally from Hobbs the guy he killed in episode one. Morohious is also wrecked from the loss of a previous partner who was killed by the ripper, possibly not eaten?

All in all, I'm loving this. I need more stylish cannibals with a murder Rolodex.

#hannibal lecter #murder husbands #nbc hannigram #will graham #horror #first time watch #hannibal #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy