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#cozydawn
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(Late at night)
Ocellus: (gently closing door) Easy… Gallus?!
Gallus: Ocellus?!
Ocellus: What are you doing in Smolder’s room at this hour?
Gallus: What are you doing in Silverstream’s room at this hour?
Ocellus: What?! We fell asleep studying! That’s all we did!
Gallus: If it was anyone else, I wouldn’t believe it.
Ocellus: Oh, and you’re about to convince me that you were studying in there?
Gallus: Dude, harsh.
Ocellus: You’re right, I’m sorry…
Gallus: I left my headphones in her room, Okay?!
Sandbar: That’s pretty sus, bro.
Gallus: Sandbar?! What were you doing in Yona’s room?!
Sandbar: Oh, I got lost.
Ocellus: …
Gallus: …
Ocellus: Could happen.
Gallus: Yeah, no, I could see a world where it would.
Sandbar: While I was lost, Yona texted me saying she got stuck crawling under her bed, so I went in and unstuck her.
Gallus: See, now he’s losing me.
Cozy Glow: Why don’t I ever get any of those text messages?
Gallus: Cozy?!
Luster Dawn: (coming out of the kitchen) Wait, Cozy, what were you doing coming out of my room?
Cozy Glow: …… You know, I don’t think it’s worth discussing.
Luster Dawn: Well, now I definitely want to discuss it!
Cozy Glow: No, my young padawan, don’t seek answers you don’t want to questions you shouldn’t ask.
Gallus: Okay, possible lawsuits aside, I think-
Felicia: (opening the door to Swift Foot’s room) Hello, everyone.
Gallus: Um…. Swift Foot?
Swift Foot: (poking her head out) I asked her to kill a spider.
Gallus: … Okay, I have no idea what to think.
Sandbar: It could be either.
Gallus: Straight toss up.
Ocellus: Okay, we’ve all been caught in compromising positions, but I don’t think anyone has done anything wrong except maybe Cozy Glow.
Cozy Glow: Show me the law.
Ocellus: Maybe later, so I think we should just go back to our rooms and never speak of this-
Trixie: (sleeping on the couch) Kids, I’m gonna count to ten…
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Smolder: (to Gallus) Dude, but like, romantically.
Silverstream: (to Sandbar) Babe, but like, platonically.
Cozy Glow: (to Luster Dawn) Sweetheart, but like, homicidally.
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Gallus: I just don’t see how you can justify dating someone who’s so obviously evil.
Luster Dawn: Uh, excuse me, I can very easily flip that back to you and Camren.
Gallus: Camren isn’t really evil, he just gets bored easily and lacks morals.
Luster Dawn: Well, so does Cozy Glow.
Gallus: Cozy Glow is an unrepentant sociopath who regularly tries to incite violent insurrections against Twilight and thinks going on a stabbing spree is a fun weekend activity. Camren steals shit. Don’t pretend we’re on the same level of fucked up love lives.
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Gallus: So… You guys really don’t think it’s weird that I’m dating Camren? I mean, he is a villain.
Ocellus: I mean Luster’s dating Cozy, so…
Sandbar: Yona and I are both dating Swift Foot, even if she’s not a villain anymore.
Silverstream: Hell, if we’re okay with dating villains, then I was actually going to try my luck with Felicia. C’est la vie, and all that.
Slate: (looking at Smolder) …. So-
Smolder: Oh, hell the fuck no.
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Cozy Glow: Alright, time to take the body out of the freezer.
Luster Dawn: Okay, Hu- Wait, WHAT?
Cozy Glow: (pulling a turkey out of the freezer) What?
Luster Dawn: Oh thank god. Please, never word it like that again.
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Gallus: After everything you’ve done. To me. To my friends.
Cozy Glow: (smiling like a little shit)
Gallus: You come into my house, and ask me if you can marry my ONLY DAUGH-!!
Luster Dawn: Gallus, for the last time! Go LARP literally anywhere else!
Sandbar: So, how likely do you think it is that Cozy proposed in front of Gallus on purpose because she derives a sick, twisted pleasure from it?
Smolder: On a scale of one to ten? Seventeen.
Gallus: At least let me walk you to the altar!!
Luster Dawn: Gallus!! I have actual parents!!
Gallus: They don’t love you like I do!!
Cozy Glow: I love her as much as I hate you.
Gallus: …… Oh my gosh, give her that ring. You’ll treat her right.
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Cozy Glow: I will destroy everything you love, Luster!!
Luster Dawn: What if I love you?
Cozy Glow: Jokes on you! I’ve been self-destructive my whole life!
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Think we could have some short cozy jokes. It’s been to long since I’ve seen her murderous rage
I think that can be arranged. Don’t forget you guys can submit any quotes of your own!
Cozy Glow: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do! I like you a lot! I like you so much that I would kill for you!
Luster Dawn: I mean, you’d kill for a ham sandwich, but that’s okay. You don’t have to-
Cozy Glow: Just let me know who I should kill to prove my love!!
Luster Dawn: Would you listen to me?! I’m saying you don’t have to-!
Cozy Glow: (picking up a knife) GALLUS, COME HERE!! APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE!!
Luster Dawn: (taking the knife) DAMN IT, CALM DOWN AND LISTEN!! (takes a deep breath) I’m sorry I doubted you. I love you, too…. Despite all the obvious warning signs.
Cozy Glow: …… Gallus, nevermind! You got lucky!
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Luster Dawn: I kinda have a crush, but I’m a little embarrassed to tell you.
Gallus: C’mon Luster, you know I’m not gonna judge. Just rip that bandaid off.
Luster Dawn: It’s Cozy Glow.
Gallus: You put that bandaid back on. You put that bandaid back on and you let that wound fester.
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Luster Dawn: Look, you’re cute. But you’re also selfish, narcissistic to the point of delusion, and downright sociopathic on your worst days.
Cozy Glow: ……
Luster Dawn: ……
Cozy Glow: (internally) She called me ‘cute’!
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