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cummunication · 5 years

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The craziest people I know (don’t go to therapy)

Therapy... I have an appointment today actually. I’ve been going for the last ten years. I first started seeing the school psychologist, going to my YFS center (youth and family services). I started going more regularly after my father died which was perfect since I would go during my lunch period. I had nobody to sit with at lunch so it was a perfect excuse to go. I began receiving outside counseling in eleventh or twelfth grade, once a week. At this point I was a minor so my mom paid. Now as an adult, I am thankful my mom brought me and paid because I see how inconvenient it can be and how it adds up. Even though most therapists accept insurance, some don’t. Even with insurance you can be paying 65$ up every time which is usually once or twice a week. That being said, I truly believe the best and most important thing we can invest in is ourselves and therapy is worth it. Therapy is being brought into the open which I’m very happy with but still, there is a stigma attached to counseling. The first thought most people have when they hear you are in therapy is “what’s wrong with them? Are they mentally unstable? Or, why do they need therapy?” People associate receiving help as something wrong with you or you can’t handle yourself. This is simply not true. The most mentally sane (or emotionally healthy people) are in therapy, receiving help for their issues. This is because they are open minded and willing to admit their flaws. They are ready to be proactive and willing to better themselves. I firmly believe everyone should be in therapy. Therapy isn’t just a useful tool where you receive an honest, outside opinion from a professional, but a time to be truthful with yourself, reflect, and gain useful insight. It’s immensely helpful in learning emotional intelligence and how to deal with feelings. Sometimes, when I suggest therapy to people, they say “I don’t need it, I’m not crazy” and to be completely honest, these are the people who need therapy the most. They are close minded, in denial and not willing or ready to deal with their shit. We all have things we should be willing to face, change and improve in ourselves. It’s not just people who have a diagnosable mental health disorder or went through a trauma that should go to therapy. I also hear therapy is “paying someone to be your friend”. This makes me sad because yes, like any other service, therapy is a business; but people who enter the human services, social work or psychology field are generally empathic people who truly care and want to help you. “If I go to a therapist, does that mean I'm crazy, weak or a failure? What will others think? What if I'm seen coming out of that kind of office? Such concerns are quite natural given our socio-cultural conditioning. Unfortunately, as a result, many people decide not to pursue counseling despite experiencing significant emotional, physical or mental distress. Let's clarify a few things. Most people who initiate counseling do not have a serious mental illness. They have serious life challenges or are going through difficult life-cycle transitions that may be taxing their current ability to cope. This, in turn, may be adversely affecting their well-being and ability to function as well as they would like. Examples of serious life challenges can be dealing with chronic work-related stressors; career issues; financial problems; health issues or a recent health diagnosis; family or parent/child conflict; cultural assimilation; and academic issues. Examples of difficult life-cycle related transitions can be the death of a family member or friend; the ending of a romantic relationship or close friendship; family/couple changes related to the addition of a child; getting married or divorced; care giving for loved ones due to illness or disability; and decision-making challenges related to these life choices. These are just some of the reasons why people decide to go to counseling. So, if you are going through one or more of these challenges at the same time, you're not alone. The effects are often cumulative, which is generally referred to as a 'pile-up' of stressors. Counseling during these times can be quite helpful in providing both the support and skills to better address these life challenges. Ultimately, it is an invaluable investment in your emotional, physical and mental health, an act of courage not weakness, and a gift to those whose lives you touch. But what if you’re not in a moment of “disaster relief?” Surprisingly, the best time to start therapy may be when your life’s going relatively well. Despite the fact that more than 59 million Americans seek the services of a mental health care professional each year, there’s a stigma that therapy is only for people suffering a debilitating mental illness or going through a massive interpersonal issue. The benefits of therapy extend far beyond periods of crisis. Many people want more than to be ‘not depressed.’ They wonder what they can do to be the happiest, most productive, most loving version of themselves. Because achieving your full potential requires a heck of a lot of self-knowledge, self-control, and—let’s be honest—hard work, it’s best done when you’re not in freak-out mode. What’s more, if there’s an issue in your life that’s causing you distress, it’s better to deal with it sooner than later. Over time, minor difficulties can bloom into disasters that have you hitting the tissue box hard. But the earlier you go to therapy and engage in introspection, the better off you are in the long run. The benefit of seeing a mental health professional is that it’s literally their job to reserve judgment and guide you toward what’s best for you. Whatever your decision, keep in mind that people’s resistance to your pursuit of mental health typically comes from their own fears: If you’re in therapy, it must mean they should be too. Or if you’re in therapy, you’ll change in a way that makes you less willing to be friends (or romantic partners) with them. Therapy simply allows it to happen with less trauma. While therapy can help remove the wool from your eyes, it won’t create problems where there were none to begin with. If you (rationally) determine you’re not in the right place—career-wise, romance-wise, or otherwise—congratulations! You’ve just identified a buried source of suffering. And by clarifying the origin(s) of your distress, you’re that much closer to living an authentically happy life. The most common types of therapy include cognitive behavioral, psychodynamic, family, and group. Whether you’re looking for a quick(ish) fix to a bad habit, anxiety issue, or phobia, or you’re just interested in some serious soul-searching (“What’s my life’s purpose?” “Why do I keep doing ____ in romantic relationships?”) there’s a therapy that’s waiting for you. Therapy isn’t supposed to eradicate all sadness, anger, frustration, or other negative emotions (envy, embarrassment, self-doubt, etc.). And thank goodness! Because often those tough emotions serve as an internal cue—if you’re listening. That’s where therapy comes in. It’s there to help you learn how to sit with, accept, and not be debilitated by these feelings—all while cultivating self-awareness. The result? You’ll be able to tune in and make choices that make the most sense for you. Rather than achieving perpetual bliss, the end result of therapy is to confidently navigate your life off the proverbial couch.” Also there are many excuses people will make to avoid or get out of therapy. I don’t have the time or money is a big one. What’s more, there are many free or low-cost support options, from hot lines to help groups. Those interested can visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s website for more resources. You can also check with your health care insurer to find a professional in your network, or search for practitioners in your area online. Or, if you’re a student, contact your campus health center. “Keep in mind that it’s important to find a therapist you “click” with. Often, this can mean trying out a few different providers before settling on the one who feels right for you. Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

#therapy #mentalhealth #blog

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healthandhealingtherapy · 4 years

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Mental Health Counselor in Bartlett

Meet Morgan Kolecke!

I provide child, teen, and adult counseling services and I can help you make the positive, healthy, and lasting changes you’ve been longing for.

Have you ever had that gut feeling that something inside doesn’t feel right? Maybe you’ve realized how difficult things have been and how bad you’ve felt lately, and you realize other people probably aren’t struggling in the same way you are. You may think that somehow the difficult feelings you are trying to cope with are more than whatever “normal” is, and how you’ve been trying to cope, handle things, and get through just isn’t working that well. When you are honest with yourself, even though you are trying, you aren’t feeling better…at times you may even feel worse.

It’s not uncommon to have a period in our lives when we feel these kinds of feelings. Sometimes we’ve experienced something that was unwanted and unwelcomed into our lives, but we are having to deal with it and all the pain it brings. We struggle with coping and dealing with circumstances and situations we don’t want to have in our lives.

If this is happening for you, maybe it’s time to reach out and get some more help in addition to the people you’ve leaned on thus far. It’s probably why you are reading this website right now. You are looking for support, help, maybe even guidance and answers on what you can do to change how things are for you, so you can live your life differently. Maybe your desire is to bring back some of the good, positive, and pleasurable things that seem very absent right now.

You can have what you are looking for; you can make the needed changes so you can begin to feel more at peace, much happier, and overall healthier.

WHAT I HOPE TO PROVIDE DURING THERAPY WITH ADULTS

I’ve had the pleasure of working with adults and providing counseling services to them for the past 10 years. During that time I have come to believe that each person’s emotional well-being and how they obtain it is deeply personal and often needs a holistic approach.

In order to grow and live a fulfilled life, we need to examine the different areas of our lives, including: our lifestyle choices, overall values, relationships, our support system, how we communicate with ourselves and others, what expectations we have of ourselves, the negative beliefs about ourselves we struggle with, and our self-esteem and our level of self care and self-compassion.

Many of the people I work with struggle with one and/or more of the following:

Anxiety and worry about their life decisions, actions, what is happening in their life that is out of their control and in their future.

Negative feelings and beliefs about themselves that they aren’t good enough, not worthy of good things, or they carry shame and/or guilt about things they’ve done and how they handled things in the past.

High stress and overwhelmed feelings about all that is on their plate at this time in their life and they don’t know how to lighten their load, not sure if they can handle it all much longer, and are at a loss as to how to help themselves feel better.

Lack of confidence in how they are coping with and handling a situation or relationship in their life. Whether it’s how they are parenting their child who struggles with emotional and/or learning challenges, how to let go of their young adult child who is going to be living out on their own, getting through the mid-life challenges that are plaguing them, or handling an unhealthy and stressful work situation that shakes their confidence and feelings of being capableI believe we all have the ability to find the answers we need and are striving to find. Yet, there are times when the difficulties we are challenged with cause us to feel unprepared and unable to navigate. In these times of change, we need to seek help, guidance, and support to help us work through them so we can get back to feeling more like ourselves again.

By seeking help via counseling and therapy, we give ourselves the opportunity to receive some extra support and encouragement as we go through these uncharted territories. We deserve to allow ourselves to receive help when things in life are extra difficult and stressful.

My hope is to clearly convey to the people who I have the opportunity to work with that they have within themselves the power to improve their lives and heal.

COUNSELING CHILDREN, ADOLESCENTS, & TEENS

I’ve had the pleasure of providing therapy for children and adolescents for the past four years. When I work with kids and teens, I am interactive, playful, encouraging, and compassionate. My desire is for them is to feel heard and accepted, as well as encouraged to try and practice new things in a safe environment without judgment.

I will spend time getting to know your child and what it is like for them to be challenged by whatever is bothering them and causes them stress and upset feelings. Together we will identify some things and ways for how and what they can do to handle things differently so home life, school life, and friendships are less stressful and more positive, helpful, and fun.

We will work together to explore what they think, how they feel, what they need, and how to communicate and share their thoughts and feelings appropriately with others. Next, we can explore new ways of thinking and seeing situations, which will help them feel more in control and comfortable, leading to improved interactions and relationships with others.

I will do my best to ensure your child, adolescent/teen sees therapy as a helpful and enjoyable experience. Children and teens will learn how to identify their feelings, emotions, beliefs, needs, and wants, and develop ways to cope with difficult and uncomfortable feelings. Together, we will focus on helping your child or teen learn new ways to problem solve in situations that give them fear and stress and make it difficult for them to feel their best.

They will develop new and different skills so they can increase their ability to focus. Your child or teen will have the opportunity to also learn how to make more informed decisions, ways to calm down when they are upset, reduce their impulsive behavior, and learn how to think before acting in unhelpful ways.

Throughout counseling your child or teen, you as their parent will have the opportunity to gain an understanding of their behaviors and learn some “how to” strategies that can help end power struggles, emotional upset, and meltdowns at home and school. You can also be involved in learning ways to promote positive behaviors and how to decrease negative behaviors through positive discipline strategies. Together you and your child will be able to create a calmer home environment for your entire family.

MY ROLE IN HELPING YOU

I see my role as being a safe and supportive person who can help you through painful feelings and experiences, stuck points, and encourage you to identify and cope with unhelpful and uncomfortable thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and feelings. During our time together we would review your values so we can then establish your goals in how you want your life to be and feel different. We will identify and and explore your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, reactions, etc., while helping you change the things in your life that aren’t working. You will get to decide what things you are ready to change and what you are not.

Encouragement through feedback and supportive challenges while exploring your current struggles and goals is what you might expect from a session with me. Together, we will gain a sense of some of the less helpful thoughts you experience and how they are impacting you in relation to your present goals. Next, we will find and implement strategies for change in helping you get to where you want to be. We would explore many different areas of your life while we focus on helping you feel better.

MY PROFESSIONAL JOURNEY AS A THERAPIST

I have been providing counseling and therapy services for the past 10 years. As a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, I have had the opportunity to work with individuals across the lifespan, couples, and families both in short-term and long-term supportive counseling relationships.

During my counseling career I have worked in outpatient mental health center settings, crisis situations in the emergency room, a substance abuse treatment center, and another private therapy practice. Through these experiences, I believe I have gained opportunities to be challenged, develop new skills, and achieve personal and professional growth.

Professional Bio

COUNSELING AND THERAPY APPROACHES

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Play Therapy

Positive Discipline/Parent Education

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills (DBT)

Mindfulness

Stress Reduction Techniques

Motivational Interviewing (MI)

EDUCATION AND CERTIFICATIONS

B.A. in Psychology, Roosevelt University, Schaumburg, IL

Master of Arts Degree- Clinical Professional Counseling Psychology, Roosevelt University, Schaumburg, IL

Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor Illinois License #180.008919

Ready to create a life full of health, hope, and happiness?

Click here to schedule an appointment with Morgan.

#mental health

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counselingwithita · 4 years

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What is Counselling?

Being self-aware and having the capability to think and feel emotions with clarity and understanding is part and parcel of being human. Unlike animals, our thought processes rely on far more than instinct alone.

Because of this, there is scope for the way we think to become a problem and to affect our emotions. If we go back a few hundred years, we can see that psychological issues were approached with fear and unnecessarily invasive treatments. Thanks to the evolution of science and technology, we now have a clearer understanding of the human brain and are able to look at these issues in a different way.

Today, the art of talking therapies such as counselling, are used to help people come to terms with many problems they are facing, with an ultimate aim of overcoming them.

What is counselling?

Counselling falls under the umbrella term ‘talking therapies’ and allows people to discuss their problems and any difficult feelings they encounter in a safe, confidential environment. The term can mean different things to different people, but in general, it is a process people seek when they want to change something in their lives, or simply explore their thoughts and feelings in more depth.

A counsellor is not there to sit you down and tell you what to do. Instead, they will encourage you to talk about what's bothering you in order to uncover any root causes and identify your specific ways of thinking. The counsellor may then look to create a plan of action to either help you reconcile your issues, or help you to find ways of coping.

Counselling does not come in a cookie-cutter format and each session is generally tailored to the individual. There is flexibility within this type of therapy that allows for a variety of counselling formats, including:

Face-to-face - This is when you make an appointment with a counsellor to see them in person, usually at their practice. Face-to-face sessions are one of the more popular therapy formats because they provide an opportunity for you to react to any emotions that arise there and then.

Individual or group - You may choose to see a counsellor by yourself, or if you prefer you could join a counselling group with people experiencing similar issues. Going to a group counselling session can be helpful if you want to discuss your issues with people who are going through similar problems and you may even gain yourself a support network. Alternatively, you may wish to see a counsellor alone to preserve your privacy and concentrate on your own feelings.

Telephone counselling - For some, telephone counselling offers a helpful alternative to face-to-face counselling. This involves talking to your counsellor over the phone instead of in person. This form of counselling can be particularly useful for those too busy to attend face-to-face sessions and can be carried out in the comfort of your own home. This format also tends to be more flexible and can potentially reduce waiting list times.

Online counselling - Some people prefer not to physically speak to a counsellor at all, utilising technology and emailing their counsellor instead. This form of counselling allows you to take the time to think through what you wish to discuss, and many find the act of physically writing their issues down cathartic. Online counselling also offers you the chance to protect your anonymity.

What can counselling help with?

Counselling can be useful for anyone who wants to explore the way they're thinking or feeling further, as well as for anyone experiencing a problem or issue they are keen to resolve. People may choose to speak to a counsellor because they feel they cannot speak to their other half/friends/family about such personal issues, or they may simply wish to speak to a professional with an objective viewpoint.

Common subjects that can be addressed within counselling include the following:

Addictions

Wherever there is a physical addiction to a substance or activity - there is likely to be a psychological addiction too. Counselling aims to relieve the psychological addiction by exploring the root cause while helping to develop new ways of thinking.

Bereavement

Losing a loved one is a difficult event in anyone's life. The loss can bring up a wide range of emotions including guilt and anger. Some people benefit from speaking openly to a counsellor about their feelings to help ease the process and resolve any remaining issues they may have.

Bullying

Being the victim of any form of abuse - verbal, emotional or physical - can lead to issues that may affect you all of your life. Counselling can offer victims the chance to seek help from authorities (if appropriate) as well as addressing the psychological repercussions in a safe environment.

Illness

Suffering from a long-term illness such as cancer or dementia can turn anyone's world upside down. Counselling can help sufferers come to terms with their illness while offering emotional support and coping mechanisms.

Mental health

Suffering from a mental health issue such as schizophrenia or depression can feel incredibly isolating. Counselling looks to discuss the feelings that arise in conjunction with these kinds of mental health issues, as well as overcome any personal challenges or frustrations.

Relationships

Covering all types of relationships, counselling can be used to discuss issues in families, friendships and couples. Problems could involve anything from a poor relationship with a parent, difficulties in a friendship or with a partner, or even your relationships at work.

Trauma

Whether you've been involved in an accident or you have been the victim of abuse, the psychological impact of trauma can last years after the event itself. In a counselling session, trauma victims are encouraged to explore their feelings regarding the incident and look into how these could be resolved or changed.

Other

Feelings of stress, anxiety and low self-esteem are becoming all too common in today's society. Counselling can offer practical advice for overcoming these kinds of issues, as well as allowing you the space to vent your frustrations and feelings.

How can counselling help?

The way counselling can help will depend on the person receiving the treatment. For many, the fact that counselling offers a safe and confidential environment to speak in is all it takes.

In life, what we say to others can sometimes have a knock-on effect, altering relationships and the way people see each other. Counselling eliminates this problem and offers you the space and freedom to explore your own thoughts with an unbiased party.

While counsellors may not give you concrete advice or a checklist of things to do to feel better, what they will do is help you uncover your own insight and understanding of your problems providing you with the tools which will help you to resolve them on your own.

In the majority of cases, a single session will not be enough to help overcome any issues you're facing. Counselling is a journey, and it takes time and consistency to work effectively. Because of this, many people opt for regular counselling sessions to make the most of the process.

Counselling can help you understand yourself better and the way you think, which will ultimately help you develop a clearer understanding of your problems. The more armed with information you are, the easier it gradually becomes to navigate your way through any difficulties you are facing, so that eventually you can come out the other side feeling more positive. Counselling can also help you better understand other people's point of view, which can shed light onto the way you interpret words or actions.

Types of therapy

When it comes to counselling there are a range of different approaches or therapies that can be used. The type of therapy used will depend on your counsellor's preferences, the issues you are facing and what type of person you are. Most counsellors won't decide on a therapy type until they have found out more about you, the problems you face and the way you think.

The more common types of therapy include:

Art therapy

Taking an alternative approach to counselling, art therapy encourages clients to use artistic methods to communicate their issues as well as words. This may be in the form of a painting, a sculpture or even a simple drawing. The aim of art therapy is to examine the resulting pieces of art and to interpret their meaning.

Behavioural therapy

The principle idea behind behavioural therapy is that our behaviour is learnt and can essentially be unlearnt. This leads behavioural therapy to focus more on the present as opposed to looking back to the past. This type of therapy is, therefore, best used with those looking to change their behaviour, for example, sufferers of addiction or those with a phobia.

Cognitive therapy

The way we think often leads to changes in our behaviour, and cognitive therapy looks to reconcile issues where they begin - in our thoughts. The therapy looks to address any skewed ways of thinking that may be occurring and eventually aims to replace them with healthier, more positive thought patterns.

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)

CBT looks to combine both cognitive therapy and behavioural therapy in order to tackle the thought process and the resulting behaviour. Focusing on the present, CBT is a practical therapy that aims to break down problems into smaller, more manageable issues. This therapy is especially useful for those with more specific problems as it addresses each emotion separately.

Learn more about CBT and how it may help you on Happiful.

Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is typically used to treat issues that originated from trauma, though it's starting to be used more widely for issues such as depression and anxiety. The therapy involves recalling the distressing event/feeling while following the therapist’s finger as it moves from side to side. The aim is to reduce the intensity of these memories over time.

Humanistic therapies

The humanistic approach is holistic in style, looking at factors such as free will, creativity and human potential. The therapy type encourages self-exploration, with many varieties focusing on the 'here and now'. Therapies that fall under this umbrella include Human Givens therapy, person-centred therapy and Gestalt therapy.

Psychoanalysis

One of the oldest therapies used in psychology; it was Freud who founded the psychoanalytic technique. The therapy takes a different approach to behavioural and cognitive therapies as it perceives our thoughts to be out of our conscious control. Instead, psychoanalysis believes any psychological issues stem from childhood and need to be addressed in order to be resolved.

What to expect from counselling

If you have decided to try counselling, you might be feeling anxious about your first session. Making the decision to get help and address the issues you are facing is an important first step and should be commended. Knowing what to expect from a counselling session should help you feel more prepared and less nervous about your first appointment.

In your first session, it's likely that your counsellor will ask you some questions in order to gain an understanding of what's worrying you and the way your thought processes work. All of the information obtained here will be used to help you in future sessions.

Some questions your counsellor may ask include: Why are you seeking counselling? - You'll most likely be asked what it is that has brought you here. This is your opportunity to discuss exactly why you are there and what you hope to gain from counselling. What is your current situation and personal history? - It is important to let your counsellor know your current situation, this includes any day-to-day issues you are facing and even your work and home life. Discussing your personal history will give your counsellor a chance to understand more about you as a person and why these issues may have occurred. What symptoms are you experiencing? - Whether these are physical or psychological, it is important to discuss any symptoms with your counsellor.

It is advised that you be honest and open when answering these questions in order to get the most out of your counselling sessions.

During your counselling experience, you should aim to build a trusting relationship with your counsellor so that you feel safe and confident discussing your worries. If for any reason you do not feel comfortable talking about your problems with your counsellor, it is perfectly acceptable to look for another one.

Your counsellor should establish some clear boundaries when you begin your sessions that cover the following:

dates and times of the counselling sessions

confidentiality agreement

clarification of the professional nature of the counsellor/client relationship

how and when the counsellor can be contacted outside of sessions

The counselling process

Counselling often requires you to discuss upsetting emotions and painful memories. Bringing up these thoughts can feel difficult to start with and initially, you may feel worse. This process is necessary to move forward and in time, you should start to feel better.

To get the most from your counselling sessions you should aim to make them consistent. Some sessions will feel more helpful than others, but it's important to realise that everything your counsellor is doing is designed to help you in the long run, even if it doesn't feel like it in the beginning.

It's also worth remembering that counselling is not a quick fix, and that your counsellor will not be able to tell you what to do. The counselling process requires a strong relationship between you and your counsellor and a degree of effort on your part - together these two elements create a successful method to help you resolve your issues.

https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/what-is-counselling.html

#allaboutcounselling

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