#couldn't be me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oifaaa · 4 months

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Annabeth is so much stronger then me I'm just saying if my mum got pissed and punished me for something my field trip partner did after i was nothing but the perfect child for the last 5 years meanwhile the guy who actually did the thing got nothing but praise from his dad yeah no Luke wouldn't even have time to ask me if I wanted to fight against the gods I'd already be starting my own revolution

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo tv show #percy jackson spoilers #pjo spoilers #pjo tv show spoilers #its the double standard #percy has been here for 7 days #and has literally been nothing but a git towards the gods for those 7 days #and yet his dad is sending river spirits to tell him he loves him #annabeth chase #i love you so much #you are so strong #couldn't be me #im too petty #oifaaaposts

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roach-works · 7 months

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if i ever stop being nocturnal im gonna miss the company of australians. definitely my favorite people from the time zone im actually awake in.

#australians: fun sexy good taste in bugs #in charge of tumblr when america is asleep at the wheel #Nice To Me #sometimes american tumblr users mysteriously disappear overnight #this is because they annoyed the australians and got eaten #couldn't be me

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bubblytonks · 3 months

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crowley thirst trap 🥵

#good omens #crowley #fanart #art #neil gaiman #david tennant #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #aziracrow #myart #aziraphale is stronger than any us marine for resisting the walking temptation that is crowley for nearly six thousand years #couldn't be me #long haired crowley

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luckycharms1701 · 3 months

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Oh, please, I must know now… Donnie during mating season??? :D I’m loving ur writings about this :)

alright you thirsty purple fans, it’s time!

sidenote: i am. so glad. that people are enjoying these. they’re a lot of fun to write!

double sidenote: i have added a link to my masterpost to all my bayverse mating season headcanons! you can also find them here

sooooo donnie. he's a freak in the sheets, you cannot change my mind. so especially strong spicy warning for this one 🌶️

Donnie is extremely matter of fact about mating season. The first time he brings it up with you, he’s more nervous about your answer than he is shy about explaining what it entails. (You couldn’t hear the words, but you did hear him muttering to himself before he came up to ask you. You suspect it was a pep talk.) He is very thorough when explaining mating season in general and how it affects him in particular. You are grateful and also a little turned on by the time he’s done.

Before you were in the picture, Donnie used to work himself until his system overloaded and he passed out during this time. Now he finds himself working a lot less, because he has you to focus on. He appreciates that you make him spend more time on leisure and don’t let him overwork himself. He also appreciates that you do let him work at least a little when the desire hits. Getting to cuddle with you is a surefire way to get him to rest when he needs it though. As long as you’re nearby, he’s happy to do whatever.

Donnie is a talker in general, but it gets ramped up to 100 when it’s his season. Unless his mouth is busy doing… other things… it’s basically a 24/7 stream of consciousness fest. Mostly it’s about you. How much he loves you, what in particular he loves about you, how exactly he wants to make love to you. His morning star, his starlight, his celestial beauty. Sometimes, though, he’ll interrupt himself to talk about something that just occurred to him about one of his projects. It never fails to pull a laugh out of you and make him rub the back of his neck in (adorable) embarrassment.

He enjoys physical affection and often seeks it out from you, and this holds true during his season. He won’t whine or get grumpy if you don’t want to be touching him all the time (*cough* like his brothers will *cough*), but he does prefer if you’re in contact with him somehow. He enjoys watching movies with your head on his lap and your hand in his. He especially likes it when you're on top of him.

Donnie is used to just taking care of himself whenever necessary, AND he is used to handling delicate things during his season. So there is a lot of gentle manhandling when the time comes. You can't do anything particularly engaging because he will come up and interrupt you whenever to have sex. IF you are wearing clothes at all (not often), you cannot wear underwear or pants, at most a skirt. That way he can just lift it up and enter you whenever the urge hits. He is especially fond of doing this when you're sitting on his lap while he's working (... "daddy's little cockwarmer").

Having you around does not mean that all of his toys go unused, oh no. He is very considerate, and would rather resort to them when you're getting rest. (He got your permission to stare at you while you slept and he used his toys. So considerate.) He also came up with some new toys that the two of you can use together. Having toys custom designed for your pleasure? Well. It really adds to the experience of mating season.

He likes to take his time and study you. He is always coming to you with a new experience he wants to try. He does get a lot of pleasure out of trying new things, but he mostly just wants to know how you'll react. He is intimately familiar with your body and how it reacts, and he wants to see if those reactions hold true when different stimuli are applied. His prodigious brain is always working. He particularly likes when something catches you off guard and a surprised gasp comes out of your mouth.

Donnie is not overtly possessive, even in his season. But there is always one hickey very carefully placed somewhere noticeable that you can't cover easily. He knows just how much force to use to leave an imprint of his hands without hurting you more than you enjoy. And if he catches someone looking at you? You will probably be walking a little funny the next day. When he ties you up (he enjoys tying you up. a lot.), he'll take a minute to sit back and observe you, pleasuring himself to thoughts of how you belong to him the same way he belongs to you.

When his season is over, his favorite thing to do is cuddle with you while the both of you sleep it off. He won't leave the bed, not even to work, until he deems you fully rested. (He will work in bed while you sleep on his plastron though.) His second favorite thing to do is bathe you. He takes his time to make sure every inch of you is clean and cared for. It's a lot like going to a spa, because Donnie did a lot of research into spas so that he could replicate that experience for you. And if you give him a little pampering in return? You'll get to hear him chirp and churr in complete satisfaction.

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head bonks: @yorshie @avery73 @justalotoffanfiction @thejudiciousneurotic

#bayverse donnie #bayverse donnie x reader #tmnt #talking tag #theory tag #mating season #*blows kiss to all the donnie fans out there*#couldn't be me #i definitely haven't spent the past three days thinking about his thighs. and his biceps. and his teeth. his tongue...#ANYWAY #special shoutout to yorshie's 'donnie's working music' playlist for making this a lot easier to write than it would have been otherwise lol #i really hope this was worth the wait i uh struggled a bit to focus on him and keep him in my head. the mikey brainrot is Really Strong #mr. fearless leader angsty boy is next that'll be fun

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insaneinsan101 · 5 months

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Here's an idea I just got for a Dead Plate AU that won't leave me.

Groundhog Week for Rody. He suffers through the different endings multiple times and does some..convoluted things to find a way to break the cycle. He would even attempt to woo Vince with dwindling options and little sanity left (for all you Vince/Rody fans--including me).

Imagine, out of everything else he does, it is THAT which works. Now what would he do afterward?

#dead plate #dead plate au #Rody Lamoree #Vince Carbonneau #Vince/Rody #imagine seducing an obsessed cannibal #couldn't be me

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forestlion · 7 months

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having a last name that makes you clockable as "person from very specific region in germany". imagine getting outed as southern by family name alone

#german stuff #couldn't be me #Deutsch

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peachteapixels · 10 months

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wyrm on a string

Originally posted to my dotpict: 2023/06/21

#worm on a string #dragon art #pixel art #silly-little-guy #imagine staring at a google image of a wörm for 30 minutes #and trying to get the nose to look right #couldn't be me

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simplyavatrice · 9 months

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endless alba 29/∞

#alba baptista #warrior nun #ava silva #avatrice #look at her #look at her smile #how could you not fucking adore her?#couldn't be me #alba protection squad

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sweeneydino · 6 days

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2003, 2012, and Rise Splinter end up in a merged universe where they raise the turtle tots together(and rise and 2012 have a friendly brotherly rivalry, 2003 is the tired dad of the group), but this time add the 1987 turtles(and Splinter) and they are normal sized.

Wait, are the 1987 turtles just bigger turtle tots...?

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nilovesconfused · 5 months

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How cute, he loves his wife

I just want the best for them and for nothing bad to ever go their wa-

God is dead and we killed him.

#tadc #kinger my beloved #tadc kinger #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus kinger #tadc queenie #the amazing digital circus queenie #kinger x queenie #queenie x kinger #they're so cute #and stupid #imagine losing your wife and going crazy #couldn't be me

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shoshimakesstuff · 8 days

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✩ SONGS FOR LIEUTENANT COLONEL ROBERT "ROSIE" ROSENTHAL ✩

#masters of the air #rosie rosenthal #my mixes #imagine not overthinking something #couldn't be me #rude of this show to feature the one song that can't be topped

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your-average-art-dealer · 4 days

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~~~~~TRANSMASC FLUTTERSHY~~~~~ ~~~~~TRANSMASC FLUTTERSHY~~~~~ ~~~~~TRANSMASC FLUTTERSHY~~~~~ ~~~~~TRANSMASC FLUTTERSHY~~~~~ ~~~~~TRANSMASC FLUTTERSHY~~~~~

I love him so much guys you don't even know