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#considering he was overall a good dude and we are continually watching black characters on this show suffer
preppypotato · 3 years
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i don't have a particularly elegant way of putting it but,
in a world where most white characters actively avoid pain and/or achieve redemption (wanda's kids aren't really dead. bucky breaks free of his programming and is able to redeem himself. natasha additionally gets a redemption arc. loki never actually dies and becomes a fully-fledged anti-hero. stephen strange's life-altering accident basically had no meaning in the face of his new life as the sorcerer supreme. steve, clint, scott, and tony both achieve domestic bliss - at least for a while.
coulson, a sideline character by all accounts, got killed to advance the plot and provide motivation for the characters throughout the avengers movie - so he could probably be the best foil to battlestar. but then, his death was reversed and he literally got his own tv show that has gone on for seasons!!!!)
i didn't love that we watched a black character die to advance a white character's storyline/descent into madness, especially in the backdrop of the continued black trauma that pops up every episode. like what's the line between raising awareness and gratuity?
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Too Loose And You’ll Lose It
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Ch7: Old Habits Die Hard
Part 2
Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​
Summary: It’s the day of Pooch’s wedding, emotions are running high and it all comes to a dramatic conclusion.
Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson
Warnings: Bad language and a whole heap of angst. Smut (NSFW, 18+)
A/N: So here is part 2 of Chapter 7…and it’s explosive! Translation: Chinga tu madre, Cabrón = Go fuck your mother, asshole.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. We do not own any characters in this series bar Stella Stevenson and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 7 Part 1
Lay your demons at the door, this is what we're fighting for, trying to clear the air but nobody's talking. We've been breathing this disease, trying to find a way to see, but the end is in your eyes, let's finish this tonight.
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“What I don’t get,” Jensen looked at the bridesmaid who watched him with rapt attention, twisting a strand of hair round her finger, “is why come to Mexico and not get married on the beach?”
“Well they thought about it, but then Jolene decided she didn’t want to get covered in sand.” The red-head shot back. “So they chose this terrace, it’s kinda on the beach, I mean, you can see the ocean.”
“But if you don’t want to get sandy, why come here in the first place?”
“Because it’s cheaper.” She shrugged.
“So you’re saying Pooch is a cheapskate.” Jensen raised his eyebrow and she hesitated before she shook her head.
“No, that’s…” she began to talk, protesting that wasn’t what she was saying when he heard Roque shout out Stella’s nickname.
“Hey, Arty!”
Jake instantly glanced over his shoulder to look for her, and when he saw her, the air was completely knocked from his lungs.
Her dress was a gorgeous watercolor-like ombre blue. The deepest of sky blue shade covering her shoulders with wide straps and a deep v-neck line that wrapped at her breasts and it lightened just at the lower ribs to a cotton blue, before trailing down at the hemline in a pale blue almost white shade. The cut exposed her leg to mid-thigh, giving just a peek of the petunia inked into her skin. Her hair was pulled back off her face in an elegant, sleek pony tail and her lips popped a deep, burnt red. Her blue eyes stood out under thick lashes and perfectly lined eyebrows, the rest of her make up remaining neutral. She'd only been in the sun a day, but just as it always did, it had kissed her body in a way that made each little freckle pop and her entire frame glow.
The salty sea air and sunshine always looked good on Stella Stevenson and today, the overall effect made Jensen's mouth water.
“Holy shit.” He muttered, turning away from the girl and conversation without so much as a goodbye, leaving her stood there shooting daggers at his back.
Stella smiled as Roque kissed her cheek, then Cougs and finally Clay before she stepped back and smiled as their Colonel’s arm curled around the slim, petite brunette to his right.
“Stel, this is Emma, Emma this is Stella.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Emma smiled, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Why doesn’t that fill me full of confidence?” Stella laughed and Emma shook her head, smiling.
“Oh, no, I assure you, it’s all been good!”
As the two women continued to chat and laugh, Jake stood there, waiting for his turn, hands jammed into the pockets of his dress slacks. Eventually, Stella nodded and turned to him and he flashed her a smile.
“You know, that’s the second day in a row I’ve seen you looking like a grown up!” She quickly scanned him up and down, taking in his well-fitted, steel grey suit. The top button of his jacket fastened, nipping in at his slim waist and spanning over his broad chest and shoulders. The crisp white dress shirt underneath stood out against the suit, and matched his white pocket swatch, the entire ensemble pulled together by the steel grey tie which matched his jacket and slacks.
As she was looking, Jake leaned forward, her perfume sending him lightheaded as always. He placed a gentle peck to her cheek, his chin brushing her ear slightly. “You look stunning.” He whispered, and he didn’t miss the goose-bumps that appeared on her skin as she swallowed and pulled away.
“Thanks.” She stood still, simply looking at him, and the two of them were locked in a gaze before Stella cleared her throat, breaking the spell. “You guys know where we’re supposed to be seated?”
“Yeah, we’re on the right,” Clay gestured, “Grooms side or whatever.”
The gang moved to find their seats, Jensen stepping forward ready to offer Stel his arm but Roque beat him to it.
“Always the gentleman, huh?” She smiled at him and he chuckled, a deep, low timbre rumbling from his chest.
“You know me, Arty.”
Jake watched them go, before he gave a yelp and clutched at his side, glaring at Cougar.
“Stop drooling, Jensen.” Cougar peered at him from underneath his hat, smirking as Jake rubbed at the place on his ribs where he had dug him with his elbow.
“I’m not drooling, shut up Cougs.”
Thankfully, Cougar left it there and they moved to take their seats along the row that Clay, Emma, Roque and Stella had already occupied. Cougar, whether on purpose or not, reached the end of the row first and slid in next to Stella, separating her from Jensen. Jensen rolled his eyes, but before he could get too pissed about it, Pooch arrived, in a simple black pinstripe three piece with an ivory and red striped tie, and made his way down the aisle, greeting everyone. He stopped at the row that contained the Losers and smiled, Jensen pulling him into a hug, clapping his shoulder as he pulled away.
The thing with weddings, is that no one can actually tell you were the day goes. They seem to pass in a whirl and Pooch’s was no exception. What felt like mere seconds after The Groom had arrived, but was in fact more near to twenty minutes, the music started and Jolene appeared at the large arch at the back of the terrace, walking slowly with her dad down the aisle, in a gorgeous knee-length fitted lace dress, which set off her curves and legs perfectly, her curly ebony hair pinned up elegantly at the back of her head. As she reached Pooch, she reached up and straightened his tie and Stella heard a “Pay up, Captain” to her right. She turned to see Roque reaching over Emma, handing Clay a twenty, not even looking at him, and she let out a soft snort, shaking her head.
The Bride and Groom exchanged simple vows and Pooch head tears in his eyes as he made his declaration. At that point, Jake couldn’t help but take a glance at Stel to find her looking down at her hands, the fingers of her left twisting the white gold and ruby solitaire ring that sat on her right ring finger, a gift from him for her twenty-first. He swallowed a little, as he hadn’t seen her wear it in a while before she glanced up, and he took the opportunity to study her pretty profile for a second before he turned his attention back to the front for the ring exchange.  Before long the new Mr and Mrs Pooch headed down the red carpet in the middle of the aisle to cheers and the guests filed their way back inside for drinks whilst the staff set up the outside terraced area for the reception.
To Jake’s delight, there was no huge stuffy sit down meal, it was just a large buffet which meant he could eat what he wanted and how much he wanted, which suited him perfectly. What didn’t suit him, however, was that he didn’t see that much of Stella, at all. Post eating and listening to the speeches, whether intentionally or not, she avoided him, spending most of the time sipping champagne and cocktails chatting to Emma and few of Jolene’s friends. Jake was left to mooch around, mainly with Cougar who was absolutely trying to get into the blonde bridesmaid’s panties. Unfortunately, she was stuck like glue to the red headed one that Jake wasn’t interested in.
“You make a shit wingman.” Cougar gave a jab to Jensen’s rib with his elbow as the two girls wandered off.
“Good job I’m not a pilot then.” Jensen shrugged, taking a pull from his beer as his eyes scanned the room for Stella.
At that point they both got strong slaps on their shoulders as Pooch drew up behind them both, leaning between them a little.
“Your momma was a pilot.”
Cougar and Jensen both looked at one another before they slowly turned to glance at Pooch.
“Did you just drop a momma joke on your wedding day?” Jensen snorted
“A shit one at that.” Cougar added, tipping his hat slightly with the neck of his bottle.
“Come on guys! As you have just said it’s my wedding day so let’s have a drink together before Jolene’s, sorry my wife’s,” at that he grinned, “bridesmaids hunt you down again.”
“What if I want to be hunted?” Cougar shrugged
“Hence why I said before. Pay attention Cougs.”
“Chinga tu madre, Cabrón.” Cougar smirked, causing both Pooch and Jensen to snort as they knew that insult very well having heard it a few times.
“I dare you to say it to her face.” Pooch looked at him as Cougar merely smirked, giving him a wink.
Pooch rolled his eyes, “what about you, Jensen?”
“I don’t wanna fuck Momma Pooch!”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?”  Pooch looked at him.
“What? Nothing, that’s just gross!” Jensen pulled a face.
“He’s considering a trip down memory lane instead.” Cougar teased and Pooch groaned.
“Dude! Seriously, you need to get over it!”
At that Jake turned to look at Cougar. “No I’m not, stop making shit up!” Cougar shrugged, smirking slightly and simply held his gaze as Jensen groaned. “Whatever, man.”
Cougar merely shrugged, as chilled as ever whilst Pooch laughed and handed them a drink from a passing tray. “Well, I think that deserves a toast. To the first married Loser…oh, wait, that would be me! And to Jensen who seriously needs to stop flogging a dead horse!”
Jensen took a deep breath, once upon a time he’d fully expected to be married by now, full disclosure, to Stella. Maybe a kid on the way if there wasn’t one around already. And that thought gave him a perfect way out of this current train of conversation.
“How long till Baby Pooch comes along?”
“Dude, if it was up to me he’d be on the way already!” Pooch grinned.
“He?” Jensen shook his head. “Nah man, you want a girl.”
“What? No! I want a little Pooch. Why would I want a girl?”
“A girl always loves her daddy.” Jensen shrugged. “Like Gracie, man, she’s awesome. There’s just something about seeing her with Robert. It’s cute.” He paused and grinned. “I want a girl. Imma call her Daisy.”
At that Cougar let out a snort as Pooch began to howl with laughter.
“Who’s Daisy?” Clay asked as he appeared with Roque, the pair of them smirking at something.
“Jensen’s first born. Apparently.” Pooch wiped his eyes.
“Wait, what?” Roque frowned and turned to Jensen. “You have a kid?”
“No, it’s a hypothetical one.” Jensen shook his head.
“Good.” Roque blew out a breath. “Do me a favour and never reproduce, Jensen.”
“Fuck you Roque,” Jake snapped back. “I’d make a great dad.”
“Yeah, well, you might wanna start ‘daddying’ that chick in the red dress over there, because she’s eye-fucking you shamelessly.” Roque nodded over his shoulder and Jake turned around. He gave the girl a once over, she was pretty but…his trail of thought died as he spotted Stella was stood alone at the bar. He necked his drink and holding up his glass he stated, “need a refill.” before he turned and headed over the room.
“Yeah, sure.” Pooch rolled his eyes as Cougar gave a low chuckle.
“Told ya.”
“Man he just can’t help himself, can he?” Roque shook his head as the three of them watched Jensen who approached Stella, his hand dropping to the small of her back as he leaned over to talk to her.
“Nope” Clay let out a sigh as Stell laughed at something Jake said. “Ahh, leave him to it, we can always do damage control, as usual where he is concerned.”
“How do you damage control a suicide bomb?” Pooch looked at Clay and Roque snorted.
“Pooch is right, dude is basically a hand grenade right now.”
“Don’t get involved guys.” Clay shook his head and Cougar nodded.
“I agree with boss. If Jensen’s gonna pull the pin, he can dive on it.”
“The problem will come when he tries to ‘pull her pin’ and she kicks his ass. But, fortunately I will be enjoying my wedding night.” Pooch shrugged. “See ya, Losers. Don’t have too much fun!”
The three of them watched him wander off over the room, shouting to someone, and Clay’s eyes fell on his date, Emma, who was smiling at him and waving from her spot at a table.
“I will also be enjoying Pooch’s wedding evening.” Clay winked and walked off.
Roque turned to look at Cougar. “Don’t even think of it…”
Cougar merely chuckled, tipped his hat and also wandered off, hands in his pockets as he sauntered over to a group of girls.
“That’s okay, just leave me here, I’m good!” Roque called after them before he let out a sigh. “Assholes.”
****
As the hours passed they drank, a lot. And naturally, where alcohol is involved inhibitions start to lower. There was a lot of fun being had, a lot of jokes being shared and other stupid activities being partaken in, such as a raucous drinking game Stella and Jake played against  Pooch’s uncle and his brother.
Which they lost, spectacularly.
Stella was feeling fairly light headed thanks to the mix of champagne, beer and cocktails running through her system, along with a few shots of tequila and somehow, she had no idea how, the two of them ended up on the dance floor, dancing to some really random shit when ‘La Bamba’ started playing. Jake grabbed Stella’s hand with a whoop of joy and started twirling her round, her face creasing in laughter as they let loose, Jake showing off his pretty neat footwork
“I thought you said he wasn’t taken?” The red headed bridesmaid gestured to Jake as she stood next to Pooch and he snorted.
“He’s not”
“Could have fooled me.”
“It’s complicated.” Pooch shrugged. “Long story short, she’s taken, he’s not. He wishes she wasn’t as it’s his fault she is.” He turned to the woman besides him. “If that makes any sense.”
From the look on her face, it made no sense at all, which wasn’t surprising to Pooch as he struggled to make sense of Jensen and Stella’s fucked up dynamic, but before she could reply there was a slap on his shoulder.
“Ten bucks says they end up in bed together,” Roque slurred.
“No way man.” Pooch shook his head, “she won’t cheat on Evan.”
“Fuck that guy,” Roque snorted. “Look, she’s hammered, here alone, I’m calling it.”
Pooch was about to tell Roque that Evan present or not, Stella would cut Jensen’s balls off if he tried anything when the familiar opening bars of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ cut across the dance floor.
Both Stella and Jake paused a little, Jake running his hand through his hair as he gestured to the tables, clearly asking Stella if she wanted to quit dancing when she shook her head, giving him a smile, which Jensen returned as she took his hand, the pair of them beginning to sing and dance along.
“Twenty bucks,” Roque hiccupped, upping his stake.
“You’re on.” Pooch shook his hand as the bridesmaid snorted.
“And you’re losing.”
Pooch watched her go and then turned back to the dancefloor to see Jake and Stella now dancing pretty close...
This had always been their song. That was why Jensen had asked if she wanted to sit it out when it had come on, but she’d refused, and as such he’d been twirling her round to the music just like he always had. After one spin, they end up facing one another, singing very loudly as Jake threw his arms up and around, Stella snorting and laughing at his antics.
“Do you remember dancing to this at prom?” Jensen grinned as he continued to throw his arms around wildly, Stella shaking her head. He smiled, his mind straying back to that night, how amazing the entire evening had been, not least for the fact it had been the first time they’d fully given themselves to one another. He remembered laying there, after, as they both giggled and kissed and cuddled, thinking there and then that was it for him, there’d never be another girl who came close.
And then he’d pulled a Jensen, and ruined it.
“Of course I do.” Stella smiled. “Life was simpler back then, huh?”
“Isn’t it always?” Jensen asked as he spun her back round, pulling her in so her back was to his chest, hands dropping to her hips as the electric guitar solo struck up signalling the song was almost at and end. He felt Stella take a deep breath.
“Well we were kids.”
“But it was easy.” Jensen dropped his chin to her shoulder, his cheek brushing hers. “It was just you and me and the rest of our lives ahead.”
Stella tilted her head to look at him as the song faded into ‘I’ve Had The Time Of My Life’ and she pulled away, turning to face him with a shrug.
“Didn’t quite work out the way we thought though did it.” She asked, her hands sliding round his neck.
Jensen sighed, his fingers flexing against her hips. “I know. I fucked up.” He swallowed, the lump thick in his throat and Stella shook her head.
“Don’t.” She warned. “Not now.”
But Jensen wasn’t listening. He had to get it off his chest, he couldn’t stand the sick, hot feeling he got every time he thought about her and Evan. He needed to tell her, even if she told him there was no chance for them ever again, at least he’d know.
“No, just listen to me, Stelly, please.” His eyes locked onto hers. “There’s not a day goes by I don’t regret it. You know that, right? And no matter what happens I’ll always-“
He was cut off as Stella landed a harsh, stinging slap to his left cheek, his head whipping to the right. He took a deep breath, stunned, before he turned his head to face her, shocked splashed across his handsome features.
A few people around them stopped dancing, and Stella could hear a few hushed whispers, along with a louder shout of ouch, from who she had no idea. She opened her mouth to say something, the tears spilling from her eyes before she realised she needed to get out of there, and fast. So she did.
She hurried out of the room towards the hotel lobby and elevator, wiping the tears that were falling down her face. She knew she shouldn’t have done that, and maybe it was a little harsh, but the anger she felt towards Jake at that moment in time was insurmountable. He had left her, twice basically, and continued to fuck with her head, and then had the audacity to try and ...well, she didn't even know what he was trying to do. Her head was a mess, a fuckery of conflicting feelings, and she was as drunk as she could remember being in a long time, which wasn't helping.
She was also well aware that she'd just made a complete scene at Pooch's wedding, potentially seen by his entire family and friends, and that not only embarrassed her, it also made her feel like crap for being that asshole guest that everyone would be talking about for months to come.
*****
Jensen ignored both Roque and Clay who had crowded round to ask him what the hell he'd done to deserve a slap, but he simply pushed them out of the way, only one thing on his mind, getting to Stella and making her listen. He hurried out of the room, skidding to a slightly unsteady halt in the corridor before he jogged down the hallway and into the lobby where he spotted her at the elevator.
“Stel!" He yelled her name in an attempt to stop her, drawing intrigued and surprised looks from the guests and staff alike in the atrium. "Stella, wait!"
She didn't turn around, but he could tell she'd heard him, well, everyone in the lobby had heard him, but if that wasn't evidence enough to show that his calls across the foyer had reached her, the fact that she began angrily slamming her hand against the elevator call button certainly was. Jensen hurried across the shiny tiled surface, the heels of his dress shoes clicking as he went, expertly side stepping a couple who were walking through with cases, cursing as he saw Stella stepping into the elevator. He continued running, but just as he skidded to a halt he caught a glimpse of her angry tear stained face as the doors shut.
"Fuck!" He shouted, banging his hand on the wall just above the call panel. Spinning, he almost collided with a young couple who were looking at him, and the man shot him a filthy glare as he pushed between them, running to the stairs. He took them two, sometimes three at a time as he raced to the fourth floor in an attempt to catch her, and he burst into the corridor in time to see her stalking to her room.
He paused to take a breath, relief flooding his system at the fact he'd manage to catch her before she got to her room, before he realised he still had to stop her.
“Stel!” His shout was a desperate plea, and she spun to face him, her face surprised clearly at how he'd managed to get there so quick, and whilst she was still he took his chance. “Look, I’m sorry I made you upset but-“
With that she gave an angry growl almost as she turned around and carried on, the heel of her shoe catching a little as she did, causing her to stumble and Jensen felt his anger boiling over, this was fucking ridiculous, and here he was shouting down a hotel corridor, to her fucking back.
"For fucks sake, Estella, will you a stop being a bitch and just listen to me?"
At that she stopped dead and wheeled round, sheer venomous disdain etched across her face. "I am SICK of listening to you Jacob." She spat his full name back at him, in response to him using hers. "It’s always the fucking same. You know if anything I should have listened to you years ago when you dumped me and stayed the fuck away from you and your stupid-"
"You just slapped me, Stella!" Jensen exclaimed "In front of everyone in the fucking room! The least you can do is hear me out, I deserve that surely?"
"You don’t deserve shit." She snorted. "Now take a hint and leave me the fuck alone!"
"What, like your boyfriend?"
The words flew out of Jensen's mouth before he had even registered them, and from the look on Stella’s face she was as shocked as he was that he'd gone there. She took a deep breath, looked at the floor before she raised her head and stared at him, fresh tears in her eyes and Jensen sighed in frustration at himself.
"You know, just when I think you can’t go any lower." Her voice was soft and sad now, and Jensen stayed silent as he knew that had been a low blow. She took another shaky breath, shaking her head. "I’ve never come so close to hating you as I have right now. You are an asshole."
"Stell, look, I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that..."
"Go to hell." She stated, her voice flat as she turned and carried on walking towards her room.
"Cougar told me what Evan said." Jensen blurted out, more words he hadn't planned on saying, and once more she stopped dead.
"Fucking-"
"Did you say it back?"
There was no answer.
"You didn't, did you?" Jensen continued to press as she started walking towards her again. "That's why he isn't here, aint it? Because you couldn't say it, and you fell out, and-"
"You tell me," she stopped at the door to her room, foraging in her purse for her key, "I mean, clearly you have all the answers and know everything about how I feel and-"
"Damnit Stella, just-"
"You know what?" She spun to face him as he stopped besides her. "Evan might not be perfect but he’s never dumped me for no fucking reason, then used me as and when he wanted. But, I suppose that’s on me because I was never strong enough to tell you to fuck off and now that I am, you don’t like it." She raised her hand and jabbed him in the chest. "You don’t like the fact I’m not there when you want to fuck something because I’ve got someone else in my life-" another jab "-someone who… who loves me and I-."
"And you what Stel?" Jensen interrupted her rant with a snort and she fell silent, her eyes flashing. "See you can’t even say it, can you?"
Stella glared at him, a look that would make anyone else quiver in their shoes but not him, not now. He was too far gone trying to make his point, trying to make her see his point, to care how angry he was making her.
“Just admit it Stella," he arched his eyebrow, stepping forward. He planted one hand by her head, palm flat on the surface of the door as he leaned closer to her, his voice level and even as he stated, “you don’t love him, you never will.”
“Fuck you.” Stella stumbled over her words a little, before her hands planted on his chest and she shoved him. Jake stepped back, slightly off balance more to the alcohol in his system than the force of her push, but he steadied himself, moving forwards again. She made to shove him once more but this time he was ready, and his hands caught her wrists, fingers curling round them as her room key fell to the floor.
“Fuck me yourself.” He shot. At that she shook her head and scoffed. “What’s the matter, Stel?” Jake’s voice dropped a little as his grip around her wrists tightened, and he pressed her further into the door, his head dropping, face inches from hers. “Scared you might like it, still?”
“Asshole.” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper and she pulled her arms violently to the side, Jake letting go. Once more she pushed him, this time he stepped away so she could bend and retrieve her room key from the floor, which took her a few attempts, her hand and eye coordination impaired from the drink. Eventually, she grabbed it and stood, a little unsteadily, turning her back to him.
As she slid the card into the slot, Jake was once more in her space behind her, his hands softly on her waist and he leaned towards her, his breath hot on her ear.
“Don’t be a chicken, Stel.” His voice was gravelly and he braced, waiting for another blow, but it never came. She swallowed a little, her chest heaving, and she made no attempt to stop his advances. She'd let go of what she had to say, and now she was physically proving him right in his assumptions and her denials
Emboldened by this, Jensen placed a soft kiss to her neck as she pushed the door to her room open, causing her breath to catch in her throat. She turned to him, her eyes locking into his and Jensen could see the conflict behind them. There was a war going on between her head and her heart and, had he been sober, Jensen probably would have walked away, knowing what he was doing was pretty shitty and unfair. But he wasn’t sober. He was drunk, and not just on alcohol but sheer desire for the woman stood in front of him. His Stelly. The girl he still loved.
As her large, clear blue eyes bounced across each of his whilst she grappled with her internal turmoil, Jake stood stock still waiting for her to make her move. He took a deep breath, expecting her to shove him away for that final time, and he would have taken it then, having already proven his point to both her and him, but then he saw it, that familiar darkening of her eyes.
The spark Stell still carried for him, that small flicker of a flame that for so long had been starved of oxygen, suddenly exploded and she reached out, grabbing his loose tie, bringing his lips crashing down to hers. Jake surged forward, pushing her backwards as he continued to kiss her, kicking the door to her room shut with his foot before he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close,  pouring every single bit of emotion and frustration he’d felt over the past few months into the kiss.
It was urgent, it was desperate, and the pair of them stumbled around the hotel room, Stella pushing his jacket off and tossing it to the floor somewhere before she yanked off his tie, her fingers moving to undo his shirt. Jake's hands fumbled with the floaty tulle skirt of her dress as he pulled it up around her waist, trailing hot kisses down the side of her neck whilst Stella pushed his shirt down his arms where he shrugged it off. Her hands planted on his chest as she smoothed her delicate palms over the solid planes of muscle, sliding them down over his defined abs and he gave a soft hiss as he felt her nimble fingers undoing the buckle of his belt. In a quick move that made her squeak slightly, he reached down and grabbed her ass, hauling her off the floor, her legs wrapping around his waist as he backed her up against the large sliding doors which led out to the balcony. His lips pressed back to hers whilst her back hit the thick glass a little harder than he had intended, drawing a soft grunt from her mouth as it rattled in the frame.
“Ow.” she mumbled against his mouth, grabbing a fist full of his hair and tugging harshly so he looked at her. He gave an apologetic grin she looked at him for a moment before her hands moved and plucked off his glasses, in a movement that really shouldn’t be hot but for some reason it always was. He took them from her, depositing them in his pocket as his lips gently latched onto her neck, sucking at the pulse point. A barely there whimper sounded in his ear as he nipped at her skin and his attention moved downwards, hot, open mouthed kisses traced down her sternum which was exposed between the deep V neckline of her dress. A low moan left her mouth and her hips pushed down against the bulge in his trousers and he pressed into her, giving her the friction she was asking for. Her hands skimmed down his spine, her fingers making his skin burn and prickle as they danced over his back, coming to rest on his broad shoulders , digging into his muscles as Jake pushed his hips up again, grinding against her.
Neither of them were thinking straight, it was way past that point. This was a pure, carnal desire between two, once-upon-a-time long term lovers, both desperate to scratch that deep itch that they still had for one another. But still Jake paused, pulling back so he could take a moment to look at her. She was slightly dishevelled, strands of her hair had fallen loose from her up-do, framing her heart shaped face. Her cheeks were flushed, lips swollen from his kisses, but it was her eyes which caught him. He'd always loved her eyes and now they were staring at him with a wild, lust filled look that he knew so well. He swallowed a little, before she moved her hands to his cheeks, pulling his face back to hers. Jake moaned into this kiss and his hands moved round her back, her feet landed on the floor as her back slipped slightly against the smooth surface she had been pressed against. Their mouths remained open, pressed together, sharing air as Jensen slid the zipper of her dress down, causing it to gape a little at the front and he reached up, thumbs gently running on the underside of the straps before he slid them down her arms, placing a soft kiss to each of her shoulders in turn. As he pushed the soft, blue chiffon of her dress down to her waist he couldn’t help the carnal growl that rumbled in his throat as he saw she wasn't wearing a bra.
"Fuck, Stel. You're beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful." He muttered, his lips back on hers as his hands cradled her face. She stepped out of her dress, his hands moving down to grip her hips, fingers curling over the softness of her flesh as he pushed her back against the cold surface of the window. His lips claimed hers again before he moved his mouth, nibbling his way down the column of her throat, tongue dipping into the hollow at the base of her neck, teeth grazing her collar bone as he mapped his way down her body in a way he had done so many times before.
Stella felt Jensen's hands sliding down her bare thighs as he sunk to the floor and her brain had barely registered the fact he was on his knees, when he hooked one leg over his shoulder, shifting her soaked panties to one side. At the first touch his mouth made to her inner thigh she sighed in pleasure, the raw scratch of his short beard a contrast to the warm, softness of his mouth as he moved upwards before he finally gave one long lick over her sex, dipping his tongue into her a little, causing her to cry out in pleasure, one hand falling to his head, the other palm slapping against the glass surface behind her. He repeated his action, his tongue flicking up through her sensitive outer lips and this time he sucked on her clit, causing her back to arch, her had dropping back in sheer pleasure as her shoulders pressed further onto the glass in an attempt to keep herself up-right, all the time writhing at his actions.
His tongue and lips worked in tandem, un-doing her lap by lap, all the time she was vaguely aware of the fact she was begging him not to stop, her words punctuated by gasps and pants, manicured nails digging into his scalp as her hand curled over his head, fingers tangling into his short hair. It wasn’t long before Stella felt that familiar tightening across her stomach and her leg trembled slightly as she fought to keep herself upright.
“Fuck, JJ,” she stuttered, as he let out a groan, the vibration so pleasurable it was almost painful as his tongue dipped in and out of her entrance, continuing to fuck her the way he had always been able to do. The burning in her stomach suddenly took over her entire body and she gave a loud cry as she came, her head falling forward before it rolled back again against the window with a hard thud as the world around her went silent. She grasped Jensen’s shoulder as her leg gave way and he quickly stood up, catching her easily, a grin on his face as she opened her eyes and looked at him, her pupils blown with lust, her thighs once more locked round his waist. He kissed her again, the kiss absolutely filthy as he stepped back and turned them, crossing the room where he dropped her gently onto the bed.
She knelt up on the soft mattress, her now almost completely loose hair falling over her face as she hooked her fingers into the belt loops of his dress slacks and pulled him to her. In one smooth, fluid movement of her hands she’d undone his flies before she slid his pants and boxers down in one swoop. She dropped her head and took him in her mouth without so much as a warning, her eyes locked onto his.
“Shit, Stel” he mumbled, his hands tangling into her hair, guiding her softly as she moved, her head bobbing back and forth before she pulled away to lick along the base of his shaft, tracing the vein in the underneath, and Jensen knew then if she carried on he was going to blow his load before he’d even gotten to the main event.
“Get up here.” His voice was low as he cupped her face and guided her back up, kissing her again. With a gentle shove, Jensen pushed her back on the bed, stepping out of his remaining clothes before he crawled over her, sliding her lace underwear down her long, smooth legs. He didn’t give her a chance to say anything before he gave her ankles a soft tug, pulling her down further on the bed, crawling between her thighs, his mouth tracing its way up from her belly to her breasts which were heaving, nipples pebbled in excitement. Knowing exactly what would leave her nothing short of a wreck underneath him, he turned his attention to her right breast, lapping and sucking, grazing with his teeth whilst his hand palmed at her left. She let out a soft, breathy moan, which was music to Jensen's ears as his mouth and hand traded places. He worked her over, till she was begging to feel him where she needed him, her knees clenching around his slim waist, desperate for something to help the burning that was between her legs. He shifted his position a little, propping himself up so he could kiss her deeply again, hands on either side of her face as he buried himself inside of her, with a loud groan.
“God you feel so good, Stel.” His mouth moved over her jaw to her ear as he praised her, nipping at the lobe. At his words Stella gave a loud groan as he thrust up into her again, deeply, burying himself to the hilt before he rotated his hips in a dirty grind, a move he knew drove her wild. She cried out, clawing at his back and he groaned as she tipped her hips up to meet his.
"You know,” another thrust, "he’ll never be able,” another thrust, “to fuck you the way I can," he rotated his hips for another grind which caused her once more to cry out, nails biting at his back as he drove a little deeper, "because he doesn’t know you like I do."
To prove his point, one hand moved and gently wrapped round the front of her throat, giving the gentlest of squeezes but he knew that would send her feral. It was something he had discovered a long time ago, being so in control the rest of the time, Stella loved when he would take over like this, dominate her a touch and whisper cheeky, dirty little things into ear. It had always driven her crazy and tonight was no exception. He’d succeeded in throwing fuel onto the fire that was already raging, and a sharp, strangled wail of his name stuttered from her lips as he felt her fluttering around him.
"You were made for me, Baby Girl." Jensen’s own voice was a low growl as his hips picked up their pace, Stella's head falling back onto the pillows as Jake's mouth claimed hers again, the kiss sloppy and desperate matching the rhythm of his thrusts.
Because he was. He was desperate for this woman. Desperate like he’d never been desperate before.
“Jakey.” She keened underneath him, hands still clawing the muscles of his back which were flexing under her touch, equally as needy for him as he was her. He reached down to hook a leg over his shoulder causing her to mewl loudly at the change of angle and depth as he continued to drive into her like his life depended on it. He bent over, mouth swallowing another loud moan as he did, feeling her sweat soaked skin slick against his.
“Fuck, baby I’m close,” he stuttered, his hips snapping back and forth, “see what you do to me?”
Her beautiful eyes were wide, her mouth pressed to his as she let out a broken lament as her walls fluttered around him again, causing him to almost purr in delight as she did. She was close, so fucking close. And it felt good. As his cock dragged in and out of her, the feel of him sliding up against her spot had her worked into a complete frenzy, and she was teetering right on that edge.
“Don’t stop,” she panted, her head falling back further onto the pillow as she grasped his arms whilst he continued to fuck her into the mattress. And then, her stomach tightened and she felt the rush of pleasure that she knew was the end, beginning to wash over her. "Oh, God, Jake...I'm..."
"Come on, Stel." Jake growled, his hips still pumping in and out of her "Cum for me, Baby, just like you always do."
At his words, she gave a low, sultry whimper and her eyes fluttered shut, nails digging into his biceps as she shuddered underneath him, her back arching as her walls clamped down on him, milking his cock and that was it. He was done for, just like he always was when it came to this woman.
“Shit, Stel," he groaned as he felt his abs tighten as he came with a force he hadn't felt in a long time. His hips faltered as he cried out, shooting his load straight into her, before after one final, deep thrust he collapsed on top of her, his face buried into her neck.
The room was silent bar the sounds of their deep, heavy breathing as they both came down, fighting for control. Jake felt her hands gently move round to tangle in his hair, nails scratching his scalp and he raised his head, eyes still closed, enjoying her touch.
“Jake,” she finally whispered, still slightly out of breath but he didn't miss the tremble in her voice and he raised his head, opening his eyes to see her looking back at him. Her cheeks were flushed, hair all over the place and fuck, he’d never see anything so damned beautiful in his life as her undone underneath him. But her eyes, they were misting over with tears and he swallowed, shaking his head.
"Stel… " he began, and she turned her head away from his, screwing her eyes shut as her face crumpled.
"Fuck, what did we just do?" She whispered, opening her eyes and she looked at the wall to her right for a moment before Jensen tipped her face back round to him.
"Don't." He shook his head, pressing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. "Don't do this, not now." He pressed their foreheads together, his nose bumping hers and she gave a quiet sniff as he pressed his lips to hers softly.
“Do you want me to go?” He didn’t really want to ask the question, for fear of her answer but she shook her head, her eyes a little lost as she looked at him.
“No, I don’t. And that’s the problem.” She whispered.
He wanted to try and assure her that it was all okay and that they hadn’t done anything wrong but his words died in his throat, because he knew technically they had. Whatever was going on with her and Agent Shitname, she was still with him, meaning she’d cheated and he knew that would be cutting her up inside.
And now Jensen felt like shit for putting her in that position.
He gently pecked her lips again and with a soft movement he pulled out from her and lay on his back, his hand rubbing his chest. After a little pause he felt Stella turn into him and her head lay on his chest, his arm curling round her shoulder as she sniffed a little, turning her face into his sternum.
“It’s gonna be okay, Stelly.” He pressed a kiss to her head.
It was lame, but it was all he could thing to say. He wasn’t surprised when she didn’t reply, and there wasn’t another word spoken between the two of them before they both fell into a deep, exhausted sleep.
****
Stella woke the next morning, her bare back pressed into a hard, muscled chest and didn't even need to turn round to know whose arm was thrown round her waist. As the memories of what had happened the night before flooded her brain she squeezed her eyes closed, taking a deep, shuddering breath, fighting the urge to snuggle further back into the arms of the man she knew so well. Instead, she gently untangled herself from Jensen and without a glance back headed quietly into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She glanced in the mirror and grimaced as she saw the previous day’s make up was streaked all over her face. Grabbing her cleanser from her toiletries bag she wiped it away, tossing the cotton pads into the trash before she turned on the shower and stepped into the stream. She stood there for a while, her face titled to meet the water as it beat down on her, washing away the silent tears that were pouring down her cheeks.
Ten minutes or so later she stepped out, almost working on auto pilot and dried herself off, before grabbing one of the hotel provided towel robes. Once wrapped in it, she squeezed the water out of her hair, dragged a brush through it and then opened the door.
Just as expected, Jensen was still flat out in the bed, although he'd now turned onto his back. It had always been a joke between the two of them that he could sleep through a damned earthquake after a heavy drinking session, yet never failed to hear his alarm. Stella took a moment to study his face, a face she knew by heart, every freckle and line, the curve of his nose and angle of his jaw. Biting her lip, she moved towards the back of the room, made herself a coffee as quietly as she could before she retrieved her phone from her purse that had been tossed down carelessly the night before and headed out onto the balcony, closing the doors behind her.
She sank into one of the chairs, tucking her legs under her and glanced at the screen. There wasn't much battery left but she had a couple of missed calls. One from Clay and another form Cougar, both probably wondering where she had bailed to, and one from Evan. She swallowed as she also spotted she had a message from him too.
Ev- Hey, Pumpkin. Look, I'm so sorry about how things went down the other night. I overreacted, and that's on me. I really hope you're having a good time. Please call me when you can, and we can talk when you're home xx
Stella felt the guilt twist in her gut even more and she gave a sigh, tossing her phone onto the table.
"He’ll never be able to fuck you the way I can, because he doesn’t know you like I do."
Jakes voice rattled around her head and she took a dep breath, looking over the balcony down at the pool area below. Try as she might, she couldn't even deny he was right. The sex with Evan wasn't bad, in fact she would go as far as saying it was pretty damned good, likely to be earth shattering to most women. But, to her, there had always been something that held her back.
And now she was forced to admit head on what she'd been trying to deny for months. It was because he wasn't Jake.
Jake Jensen had worked her way into his heart from the day they had met when they were merely eleven years old, and try as she might she couldn't shake him. That year they had been apart, she'd tried so hard, and had been sure she'd managed, and then she'd seen him and they'd fucked, and fallen back into that awful cycle of being together but not being together.
She couldn't stay with Evan. She'd known that even before last night had happened but the fact she'd basically opened her legs so easily for Jensen went to prove that she didn't love Evan, and she wasn't sure she ever would.
She took a shuddering breath and then her attention jerked upwards as Jake opened the balcony door, his hair mussed, top half bare as he rubbed his eyes, his glasses in his hand.
"Hey." he offered, almost shyly and Stella gave him a nod.
"Hi."
There was an awkward silence as he sat down on the chair opposite her, slipping his glasses onto his nose. He watched as she avoided his gaze, glancing over the balcony, occasionally looking at her hands which were worrying one another. Eventually, he could stand it no more and he reached over to take her hands in his.
"Stel, look, last night..."
"Last night was a mistake." She spoke, her eyes locking onto his. Jensen felt his gut churn, her words an icy blade digging into his heart.
"So, you’re just gonna pretend like it didn't happen and go back to that prick?" Jensen looked at her, his voice measured and Stella shook her head.
"No, I can't do that. Not now. Me and Evan are over, I'm gonna tell him when we get back. I don't love him, you're right. Because if I did I would never have given in and slept with you." She licked her lips.
Jake swallowed and looked down at his hands which were clasped around hers before he raised his head to stare her straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." he said eventually. "I'm sorry if you felt like, well, like I pushed you..."
"No, that's not what I'm saying." She squeezed his fingers. "I just, me and you, we can't keep doing this. We go round and round in circles and…" She took a shuddering breath as she trailed off, unable to articulate what she was trying to say.
"No, I get it." Jake gave her a small smile. He let go of her hands and stood up. "I should probably erm, go,” he gestured to the door, “I need to shower before breakfast and the taxi to the airport arrives."
"Okay." She nodded.
She watched him open the door to head inside, before he paused and turned to face her.
"I know you said what happened last night was a mistake, but I just want you to know that I wouldn’t change it for the world."
With that he gave her a final smile and headed back into the hotel room. Stella could see him through the glass doors as he hastily dressed, before without so much as another word he left, and as she heard the door to her room close, the tears once more began to fall.
**** Chapter 7 Part 3
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itsclydebitches · 3 years
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ngl voyager gets a whole lot of very disproportional hate from the fandom and i'd hazard a guess that a lot of that is just garden-variety misogyny (and probably racism mixed in, considering how many of the most prominent characters are women, poc, or both). like, is voyager perfect? absolutely not. and no spoilers but there was a lot of executive meddling that wound up leading to the finale/conclusion being lacking and there's a lot of reasonable dissatisfaction with that--but again that was largely thanks to the execs fucking the show over and i recommend looking into that if you can once you've finished the show. but overall? voyager is trek right to its very core--it has heart, it's about family, and it never loses sight of that imo, even if some episodes are weaker or just duds (but, like, would it be a trek series without some episodes that just kinda suck but are still fun to watch???)
anyway, i absolutely love that you're getting into voyager, it is my all-time favorite trek series to this day for a lot of reasons, and i hope that ppl like that anon dont put you off bc i'd love to continue to see your thoughts as you watch the series!
Oh, it would take a whole lot more than some anons being salty that others enjoy things to turn me off :D 
Thus far (I lost internet last night so I’m still only on Episode 7 of Season 2), Voyager is the Trekiest Trek I’ve watched. Which is a weird sentence, but I mean it in the way you said it’s “trek right to its very core.” What is Star Trek, if we strip the intent of the story down to its basics? It’s about exploration, discovery, that “wagon train to the stars,” wrapped up in the argument that life is fundamentally good. We have problems, but we can work past them. We have differences, but they strengthen us. Diversity is the lifeblood of the universe and the future will continue to improve so long as we embrace that. 
Voyager is (again, from what I’ve seen so far!) basically a love song to that premise. I didn’t do too deep a dive because I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I did look at a couple threads discussing why Voyager is so hated. Again and again I saw the same reason pop up: wasted potential. Now, a lot of fans left it at that (as if the answer to what potential Voyager apparently missed out on is self-evident. It’s not), but those who did expand on the idea consistently claimed that the show needed to be darker than it was, even if they rarely said it like that. Why aren’t the Federation and the Marquis at each other’s throats? Why isn’t the crew going crazy under these circumstances? Why aren’t characters getting killed off left and right in hostile space? “Anything could have happened out there and they played it safe!” but the “anything” here is always... awful. There’s this very pervasive idea that the world is inherently cruel, people are inherently divisive, that when pushed to the brink everything will fall apart... and that (while making for one kind of great story) is very much not Star Trek. 
See, Voyager created an unimaginable scenario--lost in space, 75 years from home, forced to live indefinitely with strangers--and their answer to the question of “What happens?” is “People make it work.” They learn to respect one another, they uphold their ideals, they maintain a love of life and discovery, and they create a family. And that’s fucking fantastic. That’s Star Trek! I’m not going to pretend there aren’t problems with the show, with plenty more to come, I’m sure, but I don’t think this is one of them. Why do so many viewers think that hatred, horror, death, and growing jaded is the only potential here? Why would they expect that in a Star Trek show whose premise is the very antithesis of those things? 
“But they don’t do enough with those things, even if they have happy outcomes.” They do plenty, they just do it in an episodic rather than serialized nature. I can point to multiple episodes where the replicator rations or Maquis differences are driving the characters’ actions. “But without that horror there’s no conflict.” There’s plenty of conflict. Hostile aliens aside, I just watched an episode where Tuvok and Chakotay are pissed as hell at one another because they fundamentally disagree over how to handle problems, but--because they’re adults with a well-tested respect for one another--they apologize and work through it. “But the characters don’t develop at all.” You mean they don’t grow harder. That’s not the same thing as no development. Tuvok is figuring out how to be more flexible, Chakotay is becoming more willing to accept cultures he doesn’t agree with, Harry is growing more confident now that he’s far from home, the Doctor is learning to see himself as a person, Paris is grabbing his second chance with both hands by making strong ties, and Janeway is learning to command and care for her crew simultaneously. I honestly believe that a lot of people think of “character development” as the character becoming a fundamentally different person, unrecognizable from where they started out. But  characters can also grow into the people they wanted to be in the first place. “We’re far from home, in hostile territory, tempted to do horrific things to survive... but no. Right now at least, we’re holding onto who we are. We’re scientists, so we’re going to explore and learn. We’re peaceful, so we’re going to make friends with as many species as we can. We’re members of a society that teaches acceptance, so we’re going to form a family on this spaceship.” That’s incredible!! Did fans miss why Seska was an antagonist in the episode she was unmasked? Because she was trying to convince them to give up everything they believe in in the name of survival, an ends justify the means argument. And the crew said no, we will not give up what we believe in just to make it through. I legit saw a ton of fans saying some version of, “I can’t believe they were that far from home and actually followed Starfleet’s rulebook.” It’s because those rules don’t exist for the hell of it. Overlooking their practical function, they’re a philosophy that the characters believe in, and they’re figuring out how important that part of their identity is to them under these circumstances. Am I willing to steal a specie’s technology if it gets us home? Am I willing to die to help another uphold their own philosophy? (Chakotay in “Imitations”). What regulations should we bend or change to accommodate our new situation? The first two things Janeway does are a) giving the guy who just came out of a penal colony a rank and b) deciding that she needs to be more familiar with her crew than is normally encouraged for a captain because she’s essentially their mom now. Developing doesn’t have to mean characters do a 180 on their initial personality, or characters getting killed off when stuff gets “boring” so that others can do edgy things in response. 
Voyager upholds Trek’s premise and runs it to its logical conclusion: 
Voyager has the most literal trek--a trek back home. 
Voyager has the most diverse crew--a woman Captain, Native American First officer, black Vulcan, Asian-American communications officer, and a White Dude pilot that realizes he wants to be soft and kind towards those who took a chance on him because Toxic Masculinity who? 
Voyager has the most literal family--not just a 5+ year mission, but a crew who expects to raise the next generation. They have no choice but to work together, so they indeed come together rather than pulling apart
Except they do, of course, have a choice. In “The 37′s” the crew is allowed to stay on the Earth-like planet with a city of other humans and Janeway is convinced that a sizable number will choose that. After all, they may never get home and this is a safer, kinder future for them. In fact, the real question is whether so many will stay that they can no longer run the ship... but Janeway would never dictate her crew’s choices in that manner. So she swallows her worry down, opens the door... 
... and finds that not a single person decided to stay behind. And the show has ensured we understand that this is not just because they all have some unshakable belief that they’ll get home (many don’t), but because this is their family now. This is home. 
And fans want to toss that out for a generic, gritty, sci-fi adventure where hope is scarce, the universe is cruel, and people need to be pushed to the limit just to admit that they maybe, sort of, like each other?? Obviously like what you like, but that’s a hard pass for me. I’ll take the bridge crew comforting each other in “Twisted,” thanks. Besides, we already have shows like that. And we already have DS9 which grapples with many of those dark, pessimistic themes. Voyager feels like a breath of fresh air, even within the breath of fresh air that is Star Trek as a franchise. It’s a show that says, “Yes, when everything goes wrong people will come together. They will love each other. They will make it through.” 
What’s more Star Trek than that? 
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Final Fantasy XIII Review
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Year: 2009
Original Platform: PlayStation 3
Also available on: Xbox 360, PC, Android, iOS
Version I Played: PlayStation 3
Synopsis:
On the planet Cocoon, those who come into contact with anything from the planet Pulse are purged to that planet. Pulse is a feared planet full of monsters and strange creatures. Both planets are ruled by fal’Cie, mechanical godlike beings who sometimes brand humans as their servants for specific tasks, called a focus. Those who fulfill their focus are turned into crystals and obtain eternal life. Those who do not fulfill their focus turn into mindless monsters. Lightning is a former soldier whose sister, Serah, is branded by a fal’Cie and taken to be purged. Lightning sets off to rescue her.
Gameplay:
Going to say this now – the worst gameplay in the entire Final Fantasy series.
The battles are Active Time Battles but instead of you inputting individual commands, there are what’s called paradigms. Paradigms are somewhat like Job Classes from the old Final Fantasy games, except less fun and more automated. You can switch to a Medic paradigm in battle and every time you press “Auto-Battle” your character automatically performs a series of necessary cure and restore spells, based on what’s going on in the battle. The Sentinel paradigm specializes in keeping the enemy at bay. The Ravager paradigm uses magic. The Commando paradigm uses physical attacks. You get the picture.
As a result, the gameplay could be best described as:
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With occasional switching of paradigms whenever you see fit. You can set up a number of combinations across the characters. Two Commandos and one Sentinel. One Sentinel and one Ravager and One Commando, etc.
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The party automatically heals after each battle – you can even press start during a battle and restart the battle.
I probably only used an item once or twice. I honestly don’t see why they bothered putting any items if you hardly ever use them.
You can upgrade your weapons with pieces and junk you find after battles. You find so many of them that you hardly ever think about what you’re upgrading so long as whatever you make upgrades your stats. Is this better? No? What about this? Okay, good. Moving on.
Like Final Fantasy X, the game is linear. Much more linear. You follow a long hallway for about 30 hours of the game before you can do sidequests. The sidequests involve completing other people’s focus. That’s about it. There are no towns, no inns, no villages. You are entirely on the road, constantly in battle (Okay, there’s like one time where Sazh and Vanille are in a casino or something but that’s about it).
I wrote a blog piece a while back about what exactly was wrong with Final Fantasy XIII, and it’s not that it’s linear. We play really great linear games all the time. It’s the automation – the feeling that you’re not really doing anything.
There isn’t an ounce of customization. Leveling up is similar to the Sphere Grid of Final Fantasy X. It’s called the Crystarium but it follows a strict path. You can’t actually stray anywhere or customize anything. If that’s the case, why bother making you open the menu to level up through the Crystarium? Why not just automatically do it? I guess they want to give you some ounce (more like a milligram) of control over the game.
Basically – you’re watching a long movie and occasionally get to move the people around. That’s how I see it.
Graphics:
PLAYSTATION 3 HD GRAPHICS HOMG DO YOU HAVEA BONER YET? LOOK AT THIS. FIRST FINAL FANTASY GAME IN GLORIOUS HD.
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Everything is pretty in this game. Everything. There is nothing wrong with this at all.
Story:
The characters appear to reference those in Final Fantasy VII. Director Motomu Toriyama wanted Lightning to essentially be a female Cloud Strife. She’s a no-nonsense, athletic female lead. While Cloud and Squall were introspective and antisocial, Lightning is slightly different by actively ordering people around. She comes off as a dick to everyone, and that’s due to her ex-soldier background. Think of your stereotypical ex-cop/ex-CIA/ex-military action movie hero, like Liam Neeson (Bryan Mills in Taken) or Bruce Willis (John McClane in Die Hard). That’s basically Lightning.
Can we go on a short tangent for a moment to talk about how weird it is that Lightning was also used as a model for advertising in Japan?
Here she is driving a Nissan.
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And wearing Louis Vitton.
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Cool? I guess? Unless you start to realize that Toriyama wanted to design his own personal waifu, and that he’s completely obsessed with her. That gets really weird. And sad? A little? Anyway.
Vanille has some reminiscent of Yuffie from Final Fantasy VII, although with more character via her inner monologues and narration. Fang is vaguely like Vincent Valentine. Sazh takes the place of Barrett as the token black dude, except instead of being aggressive he’s more like the comic relief and wants nothing to do with anything. Every time you control him, jazz music plays, because black people I guess. Hope doesn’t appear to be reminiscent of anyone – he’s just this boy who yells and complains a lot with Lightning. Snow meanwhile is a ripoff of Zell from Final Fantasy VIII, except somehow even more annoying.
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(Every time I see his picture I think about your typical dude bro at a frat.)
The story starts of a bit choppy as you follow almost each character separately, then they run into each other, then separate again, then join again. The first 30 hours or so gives flashbacks of 13 days prior- BECAUSE IT’S FINAL FANTASY XIII GET IT? Vanille actually narrates some events but it’s not exactly clear why or from when – but that’s a spoiler. Along the way, I got really confused because I didn’t know why some people were fighting each other when they were on the same side a moment ago. The concept of the “focus” is really weird and sometimes confusing. People with a focus simply have visions or a general idea of what they’re supposed to do, but they don’t actually know for sure unless they actively seek it. If the gods granted them a focus, wouldn’t it make more sense if the gods just told them what to do? Seemed to work in Final Fantasy XII. 
In short, the narrative weaves around a lot. If you stop playing in the middle and pick up the game again months later, you’re bound to forget what’s going on. I know I did.
The characters didn’t annoy me as much as you would think they would on paper. They all have character development and that’s good. The only character that effectively got on my nerves was Snow. Snow is Serah’s fiancé, and Lightning hates him because of course you need some family drama. I don’t blame Lightning though. Snow shouts cheesy lines left and right, like “Heroes never die!”. He shouts Serah’s name the same way Christian Bale shouts Rachel’s name in the Christopher Nolan Batman films. Snow is quite possibly the most irritating character of all the Final Fantasy games. He will not shut the fuck up about what it means to be a hero.
The rest of the cast works well in that their motives and desires clash with each other. But I’m still sore about the wasted potential for a great character in Jihl Nabaat. Sazh wants his son Dejh back, who was taken to be purged by the sinister and extremely hot Jihl Nabaat.
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 Goddaaayyyum. Seriously, look at her.
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Too bad, because she’s only featured in a handful of scenes and then dies. Her death isn’t a major spoiler, at least one that I consider, because she hardly does anything except get in the way for a moment. You don’t even fight her. How lame is that?
Then you have this annoying bastard – Primarch Dysley.
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When I think of him, I think of Mitch McConnell.
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Old. Disagreeable. Been in power for too long. Always in the way of progress.
Primarch Dysley happens to be as annoying as Seymour from Final Fantasy X, so expect to be overjoyed every time you run into him.
Overall, the story isn’t as bad as you’d think. You just have to pay close attention. The gameplay is far worse than the story. I could easily slip into a coma while playing this game and still make it pretty far.
Music:
Final Fantasy XII saw the departure of Nobuo Uematsu (well with the exception of the pop song “Kiss Me Goodbye”). Final Fantasy XIII continues to head into the unknown without the beloved longtime composer. This game’s score is composed entirely by Masashi Hamauzu, who if you haven’t been paying attention, already partly worked on Final Fantasy X.  I immediately saw how “Saber’s Edge”, the boss theme, is similar in nature to the boss theme of Final Fantasy X.
Final Fantasy XIII made the most radical changes to the score. There are no signature themes from the series. No “Prelude” theme, no “Main Theme”, no “Victory Fanfare” theme. Instead, we get a theme called “Fabula Nova Crystallis”.  It plays frequently throughout the game, and almost acts as Serah and Snow’s love theme. In some portions of the game, some woman is singing along. Yes – this is the first time where you roam around a world in a Final Fantasy game with actual pop music playing in the background – “Sunleth Waterscape” to be exact. Final Fantasy XIII’s music gets pretty poppy.
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Not saying it’s a bad idea.
Just.
You got pop music playing in the background now.
“Lightning’s Theme” is pretty sick. Her theme plays during the battles in a rendition called “Blinded by Light” – HA GET IT BECAUSE SHE’S LIGHTNING. SO CLEVER.
But Hamauzu was a good choice – the entire score holds up well and sounds like a movie score, with varying motifs running across. It can be a bit more subdued but that’s how contemporary instrumental music is nowadays, especially with film composers like Hans Zimmer.
 Notable Theme:
“Blinded by Light”
Really epic, unique song. I always scat along to it as it plays.
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Verdict:
Uff. 
Look, if you just search on YouTube for all the cutscenes, there you go. That’s the game. And it’s entertaining to watch. But it has the worst gameplay that doesn’t feel like you’re even doing anything. No sense of customization or originality.
Direct Sequel?
Yes, two.
Final Fantasy XIII-2.
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I started it around the time it first came out, but I’m still in the middle of playing it and I have no idea what’s going on in the story. NO idea. NONE at all. They use time travel but none of it makes sense. Apparently changing things in the future can change the past. I don’t know how. I only understand a vague semblance of a plot with the bad guy Caius. While it doesn’t tarnish the dignity of the original like Final Fantasy X-2 did, it’s still offbeat with its metal (yes, metal) music and utterly confounding story. It’s infamous for this metal rendition of the sweet and innocent Chocobo theme.
Then there’s the third game, Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
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I plan on playing it after I finish Final Fantasy XIII-2, if I don’t already die from an aneurysm by then. It’s supposed to be better than Final Fantasy XIII-2 but lacking in graphics.
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Michael After Midnight: Heavy Metal
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Sometimes it’s fun to revisit old movies you watched when you were younger and find out, hey, this is better than you remembered! Sometimes your young mind just wasn’t ready to accept how awesome something was, and you needed time to fully understand what you look for and like about cinema to truly appreciate it. But then, sometimes, you watch something you liked when you were younger, and you realize… wow, this is absolute dog shit!
Such is the case with Heavy Metal. This is a movie I have frequently cited as a low-ranking entry on lists of the finest animated films of all time, and to be entirely fair to the film, it is important in a historical sense, being a cult classic that was passed around through bootlegs because music rights kept it from getting a home video release, and it came out around the dawn of the 80s and kind of destroyed what you would think an animated film was capable of. This film is full of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, and it entirely, unabashedly unashamed of this, for better or for worse.
Now, while I do think the overall film is a bit lacking, it is an anthology film divided into segments, and there are some pretty good ones I will make note of; this is not a film with absolutely no merit. But before that, let me point out the one thing everyone can agree is amazing about this film: the soundtrack. You’ve got Black Sabbath, Blue Oyster Cult, Stevie Nicks, Devo, Cheap Trick… if nothing else, the kickass soundtrack is worth a listen, though Blue Oyster Cult’s song inclusion irritates me to a great degree. The movie went with “Veteran of the Psychic Wars” for the soundtrack, despite the fact Blue Oyster Cult had a song ready to go that is literally about the final entry in the anthology, called “Vengeance (The Pact).” Why the people compiling the soundtrack made this choice baffles me; it reminds me of how they didn’t use “Jennifer’s Body” in, well, Jennifer’s Body, instead opting for a different Hole song from the same album.
But I digress. Let’s go one by one and touch on the segments:
The framing device is about an entity known as the Loc-Nar, who claims to be the sum of all evil, detailing to a little girl how it has influenced chaos and carnage across time and space. The thing is, though, the Loc-Nar doesn’t come out on top in any of the segments, and its schemes are often thwarted. So the entire movie is basically this supreme evil being detailing to a little girl how much it sucks ass at its one job.
The first segment is Harry Canyon, a story about the eponymous futuristic New York taxi driver. In some regards it reminds me of The Fifth Element, what with a scruffy, slummy, futuristic taxi driver trying to help a smoking hot babe find out the truth and all, but unlike that film, this short is a lot bleaker and gritty. You kinda know what you’re in for when Harry vaporizes a dude who tries to mug him, and if that’s not enough, the female lead of this short literally throws herslef at him, and yes, he gets to take a dive into her Harry Canyon – and you get to see it.
This is a running theme throughout these shorts – almost every female character has huge titties and is sexually promiscuous, throwing themselves at the first penis they see as if it was their job. It’s so incredibly juvenile and tacky as to be laughable, but I guess this comes with the territory considering the magazine this film adapted.
Anyway, the segment is harmless and unremarkable. It’s exactly what you’d expect from this sort of story, without much in the way of twists or turns.
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The second segment, Den, is arguably the best segment in the entire film. We have a nerdy kid named Dan who gets transported across space and becomes the musclebound warrior with a huge cock known as Den. Every woman throws herself at him, every villain in his way gets pummeled, and no task is too impossible for this man! And did I mention that he is voiced by John Candy? Really, Candy’s comedic touch is what makes this entire thing feel fun and palatable; it’s a cheesy swords and sorcery romp through and through. Honestly, I don’t have much bad to say about this one, it’s just very silly fun.
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Unfortunately we are back to being not great with Captain Sternn. Sternn, played by Eugene Levy (of The Wacky World of Mini Golf fame), is basically an intergalactic war criminal on trial, and when his paid witness Hanover Fiste (played by Rodger “Squidward Tentacles” Bumpass) comes up to the stand, the Loc-Nar influences him to the most evil act possible… betraying this war criminal in front of the judge and jury! GASP! I’m not sure what the Loc-Nar is really trying to do here; you’d think it would maybe want Sternn free to continue spreading wicked influence across the galaxy, but nah, it just makes Squidward hulk out and tries to kill him, only for the tables to be turned and Squidward to be dropped out an airlock, further cementing how utterly useless the Loc-Nar is.
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Thankfully, once that’s over, we have yet another very strong segment, another contender for best in show: B-17. This is a genuinely creepy zombie short film, and the zombies are utterly horrifying and grotesque. This is regarded as the most nightmarish part of the film, and for good reason; this shit is certainly worthy of being called “heavy metal.” Honestly, there isn’t much bad to say about this one either, except perhaps that it is over far too soon.
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Then we get to what is probably the worst segment: So Beautiful, So Dangerous. The entire segment is sort of meant to be a lighthearted comedic breather between The last segment and the final one, but it just comes off as combining every problem the movie has into one segment: the uselessness of the Loc-Nar, copious and ridiculous sex, drugs, and so on. Really all that’s missing from this is gratuitous violence, but hey, guess you can’t have everything all the time, right? It just comes off as really dull and pointless, and there’s not really anything particularly funny about anything that happens in it, unless of course you’re a thirteen year old who thinks “big boob woman having sex with robot while aliens snort cocaine” is the funniest shit on Earth.
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Thankfully, we end on a strong note with Taarna, which is about a proud warrior woman dressed in horrifically impractical armor (and this actually effects the plot, I’m not kidding, somehow there was some self-awareness here) and a cool alien pteradactly flying off to fulfill a vengeful pact after the slaughter of a peaceful race by barbarians mutated by the Loc-Nar, in what may be the Loc-Nar’s sole impressive feat. Taarna is the ultimate hero, giving us the trifecta of qualities a heroine in this movie should have – boobs, butt, and bush... Er, I mean, sword, cool mount, and ass-kicking prowess. This one is not quite as good as “Den” or “B-17,” but I still think it’s a solid finale that has enough action and awesome music to make up for its tackier elements.
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The movie ends with Taarna’s defeat of the Loc-Nar echoing through time and killing it which… makes absolutely zero sense, but whatever, the Loc-Nar is an absolutely atrocious villain and perhaps one of the most useless in cinematic history, he gets a 1/10 on Psycho Analysis. Then the girl gets her own kickass space dragon thing and becoming the new Taarna or something and, honestly, it’s the exact  sort of batshit ending you should expect from the film.
So, is this really an awful film? In some places, no. It’s a love letter to cheesy, trashy sci-fi fantasy from the 70s, with all that comes with it, and in that regard it does succeed. But still, a lot of the film feels like the utterly juvenile fantasies of same sad high schooler, or perhaps even middle schooler, who has never had and who likely never will have sex. It’s a tashy little time capsule to a bygone era where this sort of storytelling was okay so long as there was enough blood and titties on display, so if that appeals to you, by all means, check this film out. It’s certainly not the worst thing in the world to watch, but animation has come so far and adult animation in particular is capable of so much more than adolescent masturbatory fantasies that this film has little value beyond a few solid segments and a damn good soundtrack.
Hell, just go listen to the soundtrack. I think you’d have a better time doing that.
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onceuponakdrama · 3 years
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Record of Youth KDrama Review
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Bingo Card for Record of Youth
Synopsis: Record of Youth (or Youth Record) follows the lives of young people in the world of modeling. Sa Hye-Jun [Park Bo-Gum] is smart and handsome. He is a nice guy and a popular model, but what he really wants is to become an actor. Meanwhile, An Jeong-Ha (Park So-Dam) works as a make-up artist. 
trigger warnings: death and sucide mentions, slight family abuse 
Overall Main Plot: Rating - 6 out of 10 
I think a major point in this drama is that it’s very realistic, which also means it’s a little angsty (considering it’s a melodrama). It also had subtle mentions of classism and how it impacts specific families, especially with the comparison of Hyejun’s family vs Hae Hyo’s family. Speaking of which, there’s a lot of family drama, which I feel is the main plot—other than Hyejun being able to achieve his dreams as a successful actor and dealing with the scandals of people trying to tear him down after his success. I did like the realism of it all, especially with the family dynamics due to past grudges being held or sibling favoritism, and by the end of it, things are actually solved as they talk to one another to work things out. The main plot was fairly satisfying with the success of Hyejun and the family dynamics. There’s also Jeongha being able to achieve her dreams of opening her own makeup shop and gaining happiness and success from it. However, there were a lot of problems with some of the elements within the main and side storylines. 
Plot Holes - there were so many holes throughout the plot that were started and eventually just dropped. Even the major ones were built up and ended up being anti-climatic. I was more excited with the build ups, but then ended up disappointed as it goes throughout. One example is with Haeyo’s family—his mother was doing all of this stuff, only to be so easily forgiven at the end with no real character development that all that interference with Hae Hyo’s and Haena’s careers means nothing. Again, it is a real problem of the rich parents having a hold on their children, but there’s no actual resolution. Another example is with Charlie Jung’s death, which was dragged on throughout the end. Like, why are they blaming his suicide on someone who just modeled for him? There was so many problems with the rumors they were spreading about him and I’m surprised they didn’t do anything about it other than suing them. Again, another real problem but it’s so poorly addressed and felt disappointing. 
Side Stories - I felt unsure about who this drama was about, since it kept including side stories of the more disliked characters, even when it had nothing to do with the main characters. While I liked that the main characters were resilient with their problems and pushed through, I hated that the side characters barely learned anything and continued to be in the storyline, even though they literally did not matter. I wanted more scenes with the more likeable characters and wanted to see how they would progress to contribute to the main storyline. It also would have been nice to actually see the change in people, considering how Hyejun and Jeongha had good faith in people towards those who didn’t deserve it. A part of me wanted them to snap (like when Jeongha poured water on that one lady’s head), but they would just continue to be the “bigger person” and it just felt so repetitive. 
Characters: Rating - 6 out of 10 
↣ Sa Hyejun [played by Park Bo Gum] - I felt so bad for him throughout the entire drama. He was clearly the black sheep of the family and also the scapegoat, especially in the eyes of his father and brother. I was really rooting for his success, which I knew would come soon at some point. He’s also super soft and it was endearing when it comes to his grandpa, mother, and Jeongha, but that was really bad in terms of his career. I didn’t want him to turn out completely ruthless, but I did want him to grow a bit more of a backbone. It just felt like a bit of waste because he remained consistent throughout (which is good) but there was no actual growth to him as a character. The whole thing about him is that he’s “good” or “pure” and everyone kept pressuring him to be more “fierce” in the acting industry. I kind of did want that, but I think he was already strong—in the sense that he knew what he wanted and which way he wanted to go, without others’ interference. I did like that aspect of him, but, again, the growth is nonexistent. 
↣ Ahn Jeongha [played by Park So Dam] - I actually really liked her character because she felt so real. I really connected with her and her sense of realism, but also dreaming of a happier life. I admired her for quitting a stable job to pursue something bigger in life and how she acknowledged the difference in her fantasy (the idea) of Hyejun vs how he was in real life. She was also very independent, but it caused to be a problem because she didn’t want to accept help from others. I felt that she was a great character. While it did go a bit downhill towards the end, I still understood where others were coming from. (Others have mentioned how she got less airtime and became a side character in her own drama, which is true, but they also said she became weaker at the end by breaking things off with Hyejun.) I don’t think she became weaker; I think she grew to be more aware of her limits and wanted to expand herself to obtain her goals. However, I would have liked more time being dedicated to her to see as to how she became successful at the end. We got to see Hyejun, but we didn’t see much of Jeongha and it felt pretty disappointing because she had a lot of potential to grow as well. 
↣ Won Hae Hyo [played by Byeon Wooseok] - okay. There’s a lot here. I just wanted to say, I liked him in the beginning and I like that he continued his friendship with others... but, I really did not like him much beyond that. That’s because he was so jealous after the whole Hyejun being more famous and being compared and not to mention he kept going after Jeongha even though he knew Hyejun and her were dating. Like sir. You are not that great. I felt bad for him because his mom is the whole reason to why he even has a career in acting, but then he just accepted it as his strength? I was so confused because that’s not a strength, that’s just money that’s not even his. I guess the writers were trying to give him some development, but even then, it wasn’t much and it didn’t make any sense. He was one of those rare second leads that I was not rooting for at all and did not care much about; I was just annoyed. 
Personal Notes: I really liked Hyejun and Jeongha. They are so pure and deserved everything, but I really did not like that they kept believing the good in people when those people didn’t deserve it. There was not much character development, which is why the rating is lower even though the main characters were my favorite. I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that Hyejun’s father and brother were the absolute worst—that is until his father apologized in the end, which is super late, especially after he hit him and still thought Hyejun would mention him during his acceptance speech at the award ceremony, but like... Jesus. His brother was also annoying in the sense that he was so arrogant for no reason and so two-faced about Hyejun’s career like, dude, just be honest with each other. However, I will give it props for a real family dynamic, although we could have lived without a bit of it. 
Romance: Rating - 9 out of 10 
On the contrary to the rest of the plot, I absolutely loved this non-problematic couple. I thought the build-up of the romance was natural and, when they were in their relationship, it felt so nice to see in comparison to everything else that was happening. I really liked their scenes together and it felt so wholesome because I was rooting for both of their successes and their romance. The only thing I didn’t like was the breakup, but like... I understood the reasons behind it and also kdrama writers always have to have some kind of break-up and time skip even though it is not necessary. They reminded me of the drama, Love O2O, in the sense that the couple had great, natural chemistry, but everyone around them was the problem and that’s the only annoying thing about the drama. Other watchers said their romance was kind of bland, but I think it was nice because it was so natural—their banter, the interactions, the support they provided for one another. This is one of the dramas to watch for the romance, especially since it was so light. 
Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 4 out of 10 
I felt like this is one of those rare dramas, where the people around the main characters are the most annoying parts and they don’t even drive the plot. They’re just there. Other than Hyejun’s grandpa, Jinu and his family (because they’re so supportive and cute), Haena, Subin, and Minjae (although, she is debatable of how often she meets with Tae Su), I wanted everyone else to die off. Even the antagonists didn’t feel like they served a specific purpose other than to annoy. I thought the ex-girlfriend (Ji-Ah) was going in a good direction towards the end where she was gonna be friends with Jeongha and Hyejun, but we never heard from her again. Again, this drama doesn’t seem to really resolve the problems they’ve built up throughout the entire drama. I did like the sub-romance of Haena and Jinu and they deserved better—I wish they had more time together in the last episode where they just broke things off or we would have a reunion or something. There was also the whole Minjae thing; I liked her, I really did, but she really needed to stop meeting with Tae Su. Speaking of which, Tae Su was never given any redemption or arch—he just continued to be annoying with Do Ha and I really wanted him to crash and burn. Instead, we get this desperate attempt for him to win back Hyejun even though he treated him so horribly. This was just bad writing to the max and some of them had real potential to do more. 
Additional Notes: 
Aesthetic and Color - this drama has a lot of good aesthetics and colors. I think it really set the vibe of a more chill drama, but it’s actually a melodrama. I think it just felt more like a relaxing drama because of the colors and softer ost. It has nothing to do with the plot, but if it matters to you... just a note. 
I mentioned earlier on the notes of classism that the drama portrayed, which felt very real. At first, I thought it was ridiculous that Hae Hyo was more successful than Hyejun because Hyejun is clearly more attractive and the entertainment industry loves that. But, then I saw more, like how Hae Hyo was pulled out of the modeling agency faster, he had those connections, etc. Even as Hyejun got more successful, there was the difference of Hyejun quitting his jobs and paying his family’s debt and house vs Hae Hyo doing acting for fun (ish) before he was to take over his father’s academy or something. 
THE REPORTER - I was gonna mention this in the secondary characters, but then I realized she doesn’t need to take over that whole section. She was great as an antagonist, but she was so annoying and stupid. She didn’t bother to check any of the facts and just published stuff because she wanted to take down Hyejun. There’s also the fact that she never apologized, formally speaking. She just accepted the charges and we didn’t get a scene of the two of them and that was a lost opportunity. I also hated how she said she was a reporter, but acted like a writer. Like, girl—go write drama scripts then since you want all the drama. It was all so stupid. 
Overall Rating: 6 out of 10
Recommended? 
↣ Yes: this is a drama about family and rebuilding those connections. If you like romance as a side/sub-plot, this is a drama for you. There’s a lot of emotional drama, so if you like that side of acting more rather than comedic, this is also a good choice. The romance is also very great; it’s very healthy and lots of communication is built throughout—it’s very natural. There’s also a lot of hope in this drama, in the sense that Hyejun has been going nowhere and then he manages to get the success he’d been aiming for and seeing that progression is very satisfactory. 
↣ No: this is very slow-built; if you are more easily frustrated, maybe just pass on it. Again, there’s a lot of frustration on the characters as well: both main and side characters. There’s also the family drama, which the center of this drama, so if you wanted more of a romantic comedy, this isn’t for you either. There’s also the love triangle trope, but there’s no second lead syndrome since the second lead is kind of jerky considering he’s after his friend’s girlfriend. 
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mousehole5000 · 3 years
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tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles
wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad
It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies
“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening
“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real
On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING
obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK
also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn
anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:
jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel
Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point
okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day
i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?
im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.
i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk
also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings
okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)
In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.
also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it
Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe
Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT
okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme
Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf
also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later
“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol
this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse
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buckyscrystalqueen · 4 years
Text
Little Soul Mate
Pairings: Crowley x Reader, Crowley x Age Regressed Reader
Warnings: Swearing??? IDK I put it for everything. Age regression.
Word Count: 4,597
A/N: So this story is a paused fic I have had in my files for two years that doesn’t really have a set ending because I couldn’t come up with anything else. I just want to give y’all some more content I guess. Enjoy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Terrified didn’t even begin to describe what you were feeling. You sat as deep into the corner of your apartment complex’s laundry room as physically possible as something monstrous clawed at the thankfully steel doors to get to you. Your two personalities raged in your brain, as tears streamed down your face. You tried to scream for help but the sound caught in your throat each time.  You managed to squeak out ‘Daddy’ for a man that hadn’t existed in your life in months as the monster finally burst through the door. You closed your eyes, and curled up into yourself a little more as the beast lunged toward you before a gun shot rang out through the room.
You continued to sob and shake as the beast landed at your feet, spraying blood from the hole in his jugular across your baby Tigger slippers, your jean overalls, and the orange long sleeved, off shoulder sweater shirt you had on. You could barely hear someone ask if you were alright as adult you sobbed and slowly slipped away, and little you screamed in your mind in sheer terror, but you yelped when someone touched your knee. Your head whipped back and forth as you began to rock and beg your daddy to come back.
“What’s she saying?” Dean asked his brother as the pair of them watched you cover your ears. Sam shrugged his shoulders.
“We gotta get her out of here.” Sam said as he looked at the werewolf at his feet.
“Dude. She’s fucking crazy.” Dean said as he kicked the beast with the toe of his boot.
“She was just attacked by a fucking werewolf, of course she’s a little crazy.”
“Are you lot really going to just stand around with your thumbs up your asses all bloody day?” Crowley asked as he leaned in the door way, always up for annoying the boys. His eyebrows cocked as he looked at you, huddled in the corner. “What’s wrong with her?”
“Don’t know.” Dean said as he pocketed his gun. “Found her like this.” The King’s brow furrowed as he took a step closer to hear what you were mumbling. His brow furrowed further as he listened to the conflicting yet parallel thoughts in your head, and he quickly made the wolf disappear, as a need to comfort filled his twisted soul for the first time in decades.
“I’ve got her, boys.” He said as he came over and crouched down in front of you. “Hello, little one.” He said softly as Sam and Dean cleared out. “What’s wrong?” You shook your head as your pleas for help fell silent on your lips. “Alright. How about you come with me, and we can get you out of those filthy clothes. I don’t think Tigger appreciates the yuck, does he?” You shook your head again and looked up at him through your lashes with a sniffle. He smiled at you and held out his hand, patiently.
“I’m scared.” You whispered as you looked over at the broken door. “It’s scary.”
“I know it is.” Crowley agreed with a nod. “But I promise, I can protect you from that mean, scary beast.” You were so terrified, the concept of trusting this man at face value with your deepest, darkest secret didn’t even cross your mind. Very slowly, you reached out and slipped your blood splattered hand into his. “There’s a good girl. How about we go find a cup of milk and some cartoons, huh?”
“Chocolate?” You whispered as he pulled you to your feet. 
“That sounds wonderful, little one.”
——
Crowley watched you in awe as you sat on the floor of your pastel pink spare bedroom, coloring in a ‘My Little Pony’ coloring book, surrounded by stuffed animals to keep you safe. He pushed himself back and forth in your rocking chair, trying to figure out just why he, a soulless, narcissistic prick, gave a damn about the strange woman in front of him. He wasn’t any sort of caregiver; nothing like the man that you had been crying for in the basement. He also wasn’t a complete asshole like that man either. But he couldn’t help but consider the idea. But how he would go about being a caregiver in his position?
“Look it!” You said, pridefully as you picked up the book, and showed it to him.
“You did that?” He asked as he stopped rocking, and leaned forward in the chair. “That’s incredible!”
“That’s Pinkie Pie.” You said as you scooted toward him, and pointed out the characters. “And that’s Applejack. See, she’s here, too!” You said, excitedly, as you handed him the book, and grabbed the stuffed animal version of your drawing from the pile. “She’s my favorite pony.”
“Well it’s nice to meet you, Applejack.” Crowley said with a smile as he reached out, and shook the stuffed animal’s leg before he even thought the action through.
“She likes you.” You said as you sat back on your heels in front of him, and looked at your pony. “She thinks you seem trustable. She didn’t…” You said before your voice fell off. You bit your lip, and tears welled in your eyes as your adult brain tried to protect your innocent little side from the memory of your ex.
“Little one.” Crowley said as he leaned forward, and rested his arms on his knees. “How’s about I put a movie in for you before you take a nap. Since I know you’re safe, I’ll leave you here for now. And, tomorrow, we can go out to dinner to get to know each other. Big or Little you, I’m fine with both.” You nodded your head slowly as the adult in you took over for a moment.
“Is that thing coming back?” You whispered as you looked up at him with tear filled eyes. 
“I swear to you, you are safe. I know my word means nothing yet but it’s the truth.” He reached out, and very gently wiped away your tears. You whispered ‘OK’ and nodded against his palm. “Alright, little one. Let’s see what cute pajamas you have.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crowley sat on his throne, ignoring the rambling demon in front of him as he responded to little you and your unbelievable facts about orcas (because there was no way a whale weighed a gazillion tons) and big you regarding dinner plans that night. In less than twenty four hours, you had some how weaved your way into every inch of his brain. A small smirk pulled at the corner of his lips as Little sent another photo, introducing him to Perry the Porg (whatever a porg was. Looked more like a penguin to him), when Sam’s caller ID photo popped up on his screen. He sighed and stood up, walking out of his throne room in the middle of his minion’s sentence.
“What d’you want, Moose?”
“Hey, we’re trying to wrap up here in town. Did you give that girl the speech?”
“I’m taking care of it.” Crowley said as he glanced at his phone and the text from you about your hesitation on going out for dinner. 
“It’s no big deal.” Sam said. “We’re cleaning up now, and we can head over…”
“I said I fucking have it!” He snapped! “What part of that fucking sentence do you not understand?” He hung up the phone and pulled up your texts with a shake of his head. He waited a few minutes, sending you a couple more texts to make it appear that he was ‘driving over’ before transporting himself to your apartment. He made sure that he had a different tie on than the night before, and that the scent of sulfur was gone from his suit before knocking on your door. He huffed a laugh when he heard your small squeal, and took a step back to wait for you to open the door.
“You made it.” You said with a smile as you pulled on the side of your knee length, black dress. “Come in!”
“You look amazing, kitten.” He said as he stepped into your apartment. “You ready to go?” You nodded your head slightly.
“You’re sure it’s safe?” You asked as you looked at the open door.
“I promise you. It’s safe.” He reassured as he held out his arm for you. You nodded and took it hesitantly but with every step you took toward the door, your grip tightened. You made it to the threshold when the twisted face of your neighbor running toward you stopped you cold, and sent your mind reeling.
“No.” You said as you put on the breaks, and dug your heels into the carpeted floor. “No, I can’t. Daddy, please! Please!”
“OK. OK.” Crowley said as he moved in front of you and gently pushed you a step back into your place. He shushed you softly, and pushed your apartment door closed as you burst into tears. “Hey, you’re alright, kitten.”
“He’s gunna come back.” You gasped with a frantic shake of your head. “He’s coming…”
“Little love.” He cooed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled your shaking body into his chest. “Breathe for me.”
“I can’t.” You gasped. Crowley nodded and slowly walked you back to your couch.
“Alright, here we go. Sit down for me.” You nodded and let him lead you into a seat. He sat down beside you with a sigh, wondering briefly just how Sam and Dean dealt with people after they learn about the supernatural on a regular basis. “There’s my girl. I was in the mood for a nice slice of pizza anyways. So we stay inside for our first date.” He smiled and ran his hand down your leg to take off your heels with a smile. “My vote is for peppers and mushrooms.” Your nose scrunched as he tossed your shoes aside, and pulled your legs across his lap.
“Eww.” Crowley laughed as he grabbed one of your many blankets from the shelf under your coffee table and spread it out across your lap.
“So what does my little girl want then?” He asked as he wrapped the blanket around you. 
“Cheese.” You whispered as you took the offered handkerchief from Crowley.
“Cheese it is.” He agreed. “I’ll place the order, while you find something on TV. Then we’ll talk after, alright?” You nodded your head as he passed you the remote before pulling out his phone to get one of his minions to pick-up a pizza for him. He smiled to himself as you scooted down on the couch beside him, and pulled up ‘Captain America: Civil War’. You set your remote aside and reached out to hold the side of Crowley’s suit jacket like a safety blanket. Once he hung up the phone, he held his arm out so you could scoot into it.
“You’re safe with me, little one.” He whispered as he kissed the top of your head, loving the smell of your coconut shampoo. “I know I just met you, but I swear to you, you are safe.” You nodded your head and laid your head on his chest for only a moment before someone knocked on your front door.
“Already?” You asked as You sat up while Crowley pulled the blanket off your lap. You headed over to the door, grabbing the cash Crowley held out to you on the way, and took a deep, steadying breath before opening it. Your head tilted the slighted bit to the side as a very tall man with long hair turned around with no pizza in his hands. “Can I help you?” You inquired as you held onto the door a little tighter, prepared to slam it closed if the man turned out to be a beast, too.
“Hi. My name is Sam. I umm… I was there yesterday when…” You heard Crowley sigh, loudly and you glanced over at him as he got up off your couch to come over to the door.
“Fucking part of ‘I’ve fucking got it’ did you not comprehend, Moose?” He asked as he put his hand on on the small of your back. “’s’alright, love. I know him.” Sam looked between the pair of you as you took a step back and partially hid behind Crowley. “You might as well come in. Bloody pain in my ass.” He very carefully turned you around and guided you back into the apartment as Sam shut the door behind him and followed you into the living room. 
“What is this?” You asked as Crowley guided you back to the couch.
“This.” He said as he turned off your TV. “Is the conversation I wanted to have after we ate. But apparently, some people are impatient.” He looked over, pointedly at Sam as he sat down on the other couch. Crowley sighed and looked back over at you, searching your (Y/E/C) eyes as he tried to find the words to say. 
“(Y/N), there is no easy way to say this, but it needs to be said. There are beasts in this world. Beasts that most people believe only exist in movies. Beasts like the werewolf that tried to attack you last night… and beasts like me.” Your brow furrowed as you tried to figure out just what he meant before he blinked and his eyes turned blood red. You were too stunned to move, too lost for words as Sam started to explain further. It took you a few moments as Crowley simply waited for your reaction.
“Are you gunna hurt me?” You whispered as tears welled in your eyes, not caring that Sam was talking at all.
“Never, kitten.” You nodded your head slowly as little moved your hand forward to brush your fingertips across his face beside his eye. His shoulders relaxed and he blinked his eyes back to their normal brown as Sam watched the exchange uncomfortably. 
“What are you?”
“A demon.” He answered honestly. “Actually, to be more specific, the King of Hell.”
“So… doesn’t that mean your dead?”
“Technically speaking.” He said with a nod. “But a few years past, Sam and his brother tried to cure me. So I have a partial soul.” You nodded your head slowly and glanced over at Sam.
“Do you sleep?” He smirked and shrugged his shoulders as he leaned against the back of the couch.
“Not typically. But I can fall asleep if I want.”
“Don’t demons like haunt people, and throw shit?” Crowley smiled as he ran his fingertips across your knee. 
“It’s our form of entertainment.” He chuckled. “But yes, I can make things move, and I can make myself invisible.” Your eyes went wide and a smile spread across your face as you shifted on the couch and crossed your legs.
“Do it! Pretty please?” With a slight nod and a huff, Crowley disappeared before your eyes. You could still feel his hand on your knee and could still see the impression of where he was sitting on the couch.
“When you’ve lived as long as I have.” His disembodied voice said as he made the vase on your table levitate. “You have to have some fun.” You gasped as the vase went flying across the room and hit Sam directly in the stomach. He grunted, and bent over double as the vase floated back to the table and Crowley reappeared with a smug smile. “Told you, I’d handle it.”
“Fuck you, Crowley.” Sam said as he got up. “I’d run, and run fast, (Y/N)…”
“Noted.” You said as someone else knocked on the door.
“I’ll see him out.” Crowley said as he picked up his money from the table. With a nod of your head, you sat back against the couch to try to wrap your head around the new news. After some yelling on Crowley’s part, he slammed your front door, and brought the pizza back for you with a smile. “It’s actually from Italy.” He said as he set it down on the table in front of you. “Perks of being the King.”
“Can I ask you something?” You said as you grabbed a slice and a tissue for a napkin. “Why would a demon show interest in someone like me?”
“Truthfully?” He said as he sat down beside you and crossed his legs. “I have no idea. Typically, I don’t tolerate people. But there’s something about you that I can’t walk away from even if I tried. And don’t ask what because I don’t have a bloody clue. You’re just something special. You’re too damn adorable.” Your face flushed and you curled into yourself as you tried to use your half eaten pizza to hide your face. “That doesn’t help your case, kitten.”
“Quit!” You whined as you poked his side with your toes. He chuckled as he reached out to rub your ankle.
“Sorry, kitten. Not possible.” You scrunched your nose at him and reached out to turn your TV back on with an embarrassed smile. You glanced over at his smiling face and turned a brighter shade of red.
“Will you quit!”
——
“She came around when I was in high school.” You said softly as you looked over at the closed spare bedroom door while leaning against Crowley’s side with your legs over his lap. “I was such a loner back then. My parents had gotten divorced the summer before my freshman year and started using me and my big sister as pawns in their divorce. It became a literal living hell and it got so bad, that my sister ran away. We haven’t seen or heard from here in years, and I got blamed for it. I didn’t know how to handle it all. So I started to regress.”
“Oh, kitten.” Crowley sighed as he brushed his hand up your shins.
“It’s OK.” You said with a shrug. “I survived it. And Little… well, she kinda just stuck around. I spend more time being little now a days than I do being big. It’s the only coping mechanism I know.”
“So what happened to your last ‘Daddy’?” He asked as he shifted a bit to see your face. You sighed deeply and ran your fingers through your hair as you met his eyes. 
“Michael was an asshole. He didn’t understand the concept of caregiver and basically just wanted a sex slave. He was a sweetheart to start out with but after a few months, being little got in the way. He wanted me to support him, wanted me to take care of him.” You scoffed and shook your head as you briefly relived the last fight you had before you locked him out of your apartment. “He wanted a woman that knew her fucking place in the world. And I wasn’t having it.”
“Good for you, kitten.” He said as he ran his fingers through your hair.
“I just… I had to protect the part of me that was there to protect me. It’s like a split personality but I’m aware of everything that happens in both mindsets and both mindsets are there all the time. Like now, the little half of me is singing the theme song to a classic show called ‘Popples’ on repeat. Which is annoying as hell but I just ignore it… usually. Sometime she’s insistent about it, though. And at that point, I just let her win.”
“She is quite the presence.” He chuckled. “Would you mind if I stuck around to get to know both of you? I don’t know much about this… hell, I’m not even sure I’d be good at it…”
“You would be.” You said with a nod. “Just the bit of protectiveness I’ve seen proves that.”
“Well thank you.” You nodded your head and gently pat his hand to get up to use the restroom.
“It takes a special someone to be a Daddy.” You said as you pulled the hair tie from your wrist and threw your hair up in a loose, messy bun. “It’s not for everyone.” If it was possible, Crowley’e heart stopped as he looked at the small, blob like, ‘L’ shaped birthmark on the back of your neck. It was something he never believed existed, no matter how many times he had looked at the exact same mark on his left arm for centuries on both his human body and his meat suit.
“Love, is that a birthmark?” Crowley asked as he gestured to the soul mate mark that explained everything about how he felt about you. You looked back at him as you reached back and rubbed your fingertip across the spot with a smile.
“That it is.” You said with a shrug as you paused in the doorway to the master bedroom. “I used to hate it because kids used to say it looked like a penis but I could never bring myself to have it removed. I’ll be right back. I wanna get out of this dress.” He nodded his head slowly as he reached up to absentmindedly press his thumb into his own mark.
“Well I’ll be fucking damned.” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Guthrie what do you know about soulmates?” Crowley asked as he sat on his throne, scouring the internet for any sort of information on the apparently archaic concept. His second in command looked over at him from the clipboard in his hand with his eyebrows raised.
“Sir?” 
“I didn’t stutter.” He said as he exited out of another webpage with useless information.
“Well sir.” Guthrie breathed as he dropped the clipboard to his side. “When I was a boy, my mother used to tell us that they were called twin flames or twin souls. It translated to a single soul, split between two people, through multiple reincarnations to gain live experience, before meeting again in their final lifetime on the planet so that they may ascend together. Soul mates are different. They are part of a family that help you grow and evolve.”
“So twin flames are the common understanding of soulmates.” Crowley clarified as he switched his search to ‘twin flames’.
“As I understand it, yes.” The King nodded his head as he added ‘mark’ and ‘lore’ to the end of his search.
“Do you believe it could be possible that flames could transcend the realm of living and dead?” Guthrie looked back up from his clipboard as Crowley closed out another useless website.
“I don’t believe so, sir. It could be possible but since most of the deceased on Earth have no soul…” Crowley nodded his head as he turned off his screen and got up from his chair.
“You’re not helping.” He said before disappearing to the library of the Bunker. Sam barely glanced up from his research as Dean threw his book down on the table.
“Damn, and I was hoping to go one fucking day without seeing your face.”
“Shut it, Squirrel.” Crowley snapped as he quickly read the book titles on the shelves before walking over to grab the book he was looking for. Sam and Dean exchanged a glance as he pulled three books off the shelf, and headed over to one of the tables.
“What uh… what are you looking for?” Sam asked hesitantly.
“None of your bloody business.” Crowley snapped as he flipped through the first lore book for the information he wanted. He stopped when he found a page referencing soul marks. He let out a small sigh of relief as he picked up the book and started to read as he walked slowly toward the archway between the map room and the library. He leaned up against the pillar and made himself a drink as he tried to soak up every ounce of information he could.
“What the fuck is going on here?” Dean asked as he got up to see what Crowley was reading. He managed to get only part of one of the titles, before the books went flying across the room.
“Don’t be a nosy prat.” Crowley said, dismissively as he closed the book he was reading and grabbed it and the two others that were floating in mid air in front of him. “I’ll return these when I’m done with them.” He barely heard Sam’s sigh as he disappeared back to his personal chambers to finish reading until you texted him when you got home from your waitressing gig.
“Makes sense.” He mumbled as he sat down in front of his fireplace, and opened the next book that involved the Greek mythology book that he assumed would be able to expand on the  original knowledge he knew about soulmates. “Oh, kitten. What are we gunna do with all this?”
——
You hadn’t walked three feet into your apartment after yet another shitty day, when Crowley appeared directly in front of you. Your bottom lip popped out and tears welled in your eyes almost instantly as you dropped your purse on the ground. 
“They’re just so mean.” You cried as Crowley’s heart melted impossibly more.
“Come here, little one.” He cooed as he held open his arms. You nodded your head and shuffled forward as tears spilled from your eyes. He held you tight and kissed the top of your head with a smile. “Now what happened, kitten?”
“I got fired because I refused to spend another two hours after my shift ended doing someone else’s side work. I’m sick of being pushed around there!”
“Well then it’s a good thing you got fired, then, right?” He asked as he picked you up and carried you toward your bedroom to get you changed.
“Just another fucking job I can’t fucking do.” You squeaked.
“No, kitten.” He said as he set you down beside the bed. “It’s not that you can’t do the job… arms up.” You nodded your head and put your arms in the air as he tossed your old apron out of the bedroom. “You could do the job. It just shouldn’t have been your damn job to do other people’s work.” You nodded your head and sniffled as you held onto his shoulder and stepped out of you work shorts. “That is just asinine.”
“That’s what I said.” You agreed as he grabbed one of your many, blue, oversized sweaters and a pair of cloud patterned sleep shorts from your closet.
“Well you don’t need that, princess. You deserve so much better than that. Up.” You nodded your head in agreement as you lifted your arms in the air and let him put on your sweatshirt. “I brought you something.” You smiled at him and sniffled as he pulled the hem of your sweater into place over your shorts. He stood up straight and studied you for a moment before holding out his hand and making a tiny, stuffed turtle appear in his palm. “You didn’t have a turtle…” You squealed loudly and snatched the baby from his hand before he could even finish his sentence.
“He’s so cute!” You cooed as you cuddled the turtle to your chest like a baby. Crowley smiled and reached up to brush your hair back behind your ear.
“First, he needs a name.” He said. “Then, he needs to meet his brothers and sisters, right?” You nodded your head as you followed his lead into little space, letting the anxiety of losing yet another job slip away.
“Franklin.” You said as you looked up at him. He nodded his head and smiled at you with a small huff of a laugh.
“Franklin it is.”
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randombtsprincessa · 4 years
Text
BADLANDS || 1
All Rights Reserved.
Author: Randombtsprincessa
Characters: Jung Hoseok x Reader (1st POV)
Summary: You are keen on the Golden Boy, Park Jimin but nowhere getting his attention. A late night decision to win him over leads you straight to Jung Hoseok - opposite of gold and rival to Jimin. On your quest to land the prince, you learn that not everything that is gold, glitters.
Warning: Some social drinking and maybe decisions that are kinda wack lol. 
A/N: Who knew Jimin would wiggle his way into this? Not me, nope, I certainly was the most surprised.
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Everyone has crushes on someone at least once at a point in their lives. Sometimes, it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it is just an infatuation that passes in a week or month or so and sometimes it is squashed down till the person moves on.
And sometimes, there is a person who develops a crush on the most impossible person in their vicinity. Don’t misunderstand, a lot of the crushes can be formed on impossible people usually but me…I had hit the jackpot on being Impossible Crusher #1.
Like all crushing parties, I was staring; staring across a college ground which currently held the small fundraiser that would equip the fine arts department with some new musical instruments. I had enthusiastically and joyously written down my name for volunteering, eager to get my hands on a good composing system.
The fundraiser itself had been of a small musical competition, the money earned from the audience had proceeded towards the funding. In return for my contribution, I had been handed an invitation to attend the fundraiser party and now here I was, standing in one corner like a weirdo and staring like a creep.
I hoped the goods the money would buy were worth it, because the fine arts – especially music, in which I was a student – badly needed it. My friends had long since departed, sitting down at a picnic table while I continued to stare.
At one point I think I may have been poked, but everything else hopelessly faded away when he was in line of my sight.
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The ‘he’ in question was Park Jimin, golden boy of Seoul Arts College, star of the fine arts department and an overall fantastic person. He was an all rounder that had taken our college by storm ever since he had stepped foot over in the institute.
I don’t remember the exact time that he had joined our fray but I did remember the moment when I had first started hoping that he would look at me and maybe see something more.
“Y/N, I want you to take these notes down to the dance department. These are our possible schedules and timings for practices and I want to know if they can fit their choreography practice in.” The head of your department; Shoji handed you a sheaf of paper that had scrawling all over it.
For the life of me, I did not understand how the dance captain was going to make heads or tails of it but I quietly obeyed, bundling the papers and taking the stairs down.
The dance department was spread completely onto one whole floor. All practice rooms were mirrored, glass walled and so bright you couldn’t miss a damn thing. It was used to show off the diligence and finesse of our dancers. Of course, very soon it would become cause to come and see Park Jimin in motion.
You knocked on the first dance room, the dance captain glancing up at you where he had been talking to two dancers. You had never had much time to talk to the heads of all the departments but it was mandatory to at least know them all by sight.
“Yes,” he called.
You held up the leaflets. “Shoji sent the timetables for the arts department. Can you take a look and let me know there are good?” I asked.
The captain nodded, holding out his hand. He didn’t take one step towards me. I rolled my eyes inwardly. For all the stamina in the world needed to be captain to the dance team of one of the finest institutes in the world, the captain sure was pretty lazy.
Nonetheless, I was the subordinate so I walked in, my own arms outstretched so the papers would reach him quicker. He gripped the bundle, rifling through them and passing a cursory gaze over it.
“They’re fine. I’m just going to add a few more time slots in so I can train up the new kid.” The captain nudged his chin towards the boy who was standing in front of him.
I looked at him just as he turned to give me a beam.
The force with which he hit me was unexpected and I nearly staggered back.
The boy was stunning – like honest to god, no lie, stunning.
Smooth blond hair mopped on top of his head, crescent eyes turned into a smile that was so endearing I was sure he could make anyone do anything for him just to be rewarded with that smile.
Safe to say, I was enchanted and I remained so – till this day.
“He is Park Jimin,” The captain introduced, paying no mind as he jotted down timings to the upheaval that was just caused to my social systems.
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By the time I got home that evening, it was late, much later than I had anticipated. The fact that I had managed to find a roommate and a small apartment close to the university was a boon during times like these.
When I entered, sliding the key through the lock, the place was dark. My roommate was probably still at work or had gone out as well. I sighed, slipping out of the tight new shoes I had squeezed into. I made a note to loosen them a bit and placed them neatly on the shoe shelf, trudging in.
I flipped onto the couch, covering my eyes with my arms. I had to be up in about five hours to go back to classes and at this point, the age old debate whether my education was worth the sleep deprivation started again.
I groaned and precisely at that point, my roommate decided to stride in.
Kang Mina, on first sight was alarming. With a name that sounded deceptively sweet, she was the complete opposite of it.
I remembered the first time I’d seen her, the front door to our now shared apartment opening to see a girl my age with a shock of bubblegum hair, a thickly lined eye and chapped lips. She’d looked me up and down before letting me in and despite wondering if I should, I had obliged.
Mina had given me a brief run of the house and it all had seemed nice enough; Hot water, electricity, maintenance but easy access to campus and a safe neighborhood – even if it was small. It had struck a chord and with the way Mina talked, I didn’t think she was going to be too much of a problem.
We had been roommates for two college years and even though we weren’t the best of friends, at least she didn’t hate me.
“What’s wrong with you?” Those were the first words she spoke as she started shrugging off her heavy coat.
I removed my arms from my face, peering blearily at her.
Mina’s pink hair was long gone, now replaced with her natural black – almost too black – hair. She put it up in a bun, still watching me for an answer.
“Life,” I grumbled, turning on to my stomach.
Mina grunted; sounds of her quietly moving about before starting the TV echoing in the apartment. “How was the party?”
“As if you care; how was work? What time it is?” I rubbed my eyes.
“As if you care,” she shot right back. “It’s late, nearly one.” She looked at you. “Don’t you have class in the morning?”
“As do you, what’s your point?”
“I’m used to staying up all night. You’re not. That’s my point.” She didn’t look at me again, flicking through channels. It was silent for a bit, both of us watching the reruns of Tom and Jerry.
“Is this about that guy you like, Jimin?” She asked again.
I shrugged.
Mina gave me her raised eyebrows. “Look I don’t know much about crushes but from what I’ve gathered, moping about because of them isn’t considered healthy.” She said.
I groaned again.
“You’d be right. I stared at him all through the night and he never once even glanced in my direction. Aren’t people supposed to feel when they’re being stared at? He does not seem to have that thing going. No, he kept drinking and laughing about with his boys and then stupid Hyerin began to make eyes at him. All my friends left me, you know.”
I could feel waves of judgment rolling off of Mina now.
“So, you spent three hours at a party which you worked hard to contribute for, only to creepily watch a guy ignore you and got left alone by your own friends? Honey, you need a hobby…and may be new friends.” She firmly turned to face the TV.
“You’d leave me behind.” I pointed out.
“If you were embarrassing yourself; I wouldn’t just drop you because you were staring at some guy.” She muttered and I had to agree. No matter what Mina’s idiosyncrasies were, she was a very good friend.
“Right, I’m going to go crash now. Hopefully, I’ll wake up to go to my classes; I can’t afford to miss them.” You got to your feet, stretching as you made your way towards the hallway when she spoke again, stopping you in your steps.
“You need to get a boyfriend.”
I whirled around, looking at her in horror. “What?”
Mina didn’t look at you. “Get a boyfriend; it’s the easiest thing in the world and it is also a surefire way of making Park turn his head to you. Flaunt your man in front of him to show him what he’s missing.”
I gaped at her, finally making her turn to me. “What?” She asked, defiantly.
“Who are you, and what have you done to Kang Mina?” I teased. “How many of those rom-com movies have you watched?”
She rolled her eyes. “Not a lot, but that’s always the gist isn’t it? The girl wants a guy, guy doesn’t want her, she gets a new guy and guy miraculously wants her and all ends well. Maybe, not for the second guy,” she shrugged.
“Mina,” I returned to sit next to her. “I can’t just get a boyfriend. What will I do with him? I’m not…I can’t flaunt anything that I have no experience with.” I turned my head down.
There was a pause. “I can’t believe I’m saying this…and I’m very sure I’m going to get murdered for this but…I might have the guy for you.” She said slowly.
I raised my eyebrows. “You do?”
Mina nodded. “Yeah, he’s my friend. He’s in the dance department with Jimin as well. He’s also an underground rapper. It’s a real mix, I can tell you. But the dude is okay and I can vouch that he would love to make Park Jimin jealous.”
I bit my lip worriedly. “I don’t know Mina. Sounds far-fetched and…”
I looked down when my twitter notification went off, obviously from Jimin’s account.
It was a group photo; Seokjin, Taehyung and Jungkook sitting around Jimin…with Hyerin on his lap. I cursed.
“Can I talk to him first?”
Mina didn’t look much thrilled by the notion but shrugged anyway. “We can go see him tomorrow.”
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Mina’s idea of ‘going to see her friend’ was to take me through to a narrow street with barely any space for two people to walk side by side. I followed her meekly as she led us to a more open space, a door being guarded by a heavyset man.
“Hey Anton,” she greeted, pushing back her hood then jerking her thumb back towards me. “I brought a newbie.”
Anton gave me a once over, grimacing a little at my plain grey shirt, jacket and jeans. Next to Mina’s glittering silver hoodie, and purple pants, I probably looked homeless, but I didn’t let it get to me too much. No matter his personal aversion to my style, however, Anton moved aside, swinging the door inwards.
“Thanks, Ant, have a good one.” Mina patted the broad man’s shoulder, barely touching the top of his arm and I ducked in beside her.
“Where are we?” I asked.
The inside was an explosion of dark lights. Red, white and black was strewn everywhere, flashing lights making it difficult to see anything at all and I very nearly grabbed Mina’s hand like a child to keep from getting lost.
“It’s an underground club. It’s where performance pieces are tried out on an audience.” Mina explained.
“Oh,” I mumbled.
Mina and I walked past the bodies occupying the center space, heading for the bar. My roommate seemed to be looking for someone, weaving through the crowds till she reached a particular man, wearing a huge jacket as he poured over a messy notebook.
The man looked up at our approach, shooting a smile at Mina immediately. “Hey,” they greeted each other with a hug while I hung behind.
The man had thick glasses on, sandy blond hair ruffled under his hood when he took it off. “Joon, this is Y/N, my roommate. This is Kim Namjoon, Y/N. He’s one of the best rappers here and he also goes to our campus.” Mina introduced.
Namjoon gave me a dimpled smile, putting out a hand for me to shake. I took it, looking back and forth between Mina and Namjoon, confused. “I haven’t ever seen him in our classes.” I said.
Namjoon chuckled, answering, “I’m rarely there actually. I go because I need the degree but I spend most of my time composing here.”
I nodded at his explanation. Mina glanced about. “Where’s the J-Hope?” She asked.
“He’s backstage already, it’s his set next.” Namjoon told her, binding his notebook.
“What’s a J-Hope?” I asked.
Mina gave me a sly smile. “He’s the one we’re here to see.” She said.
“His name is J-Hope?” I asked, incredulously. What was I supposed to do with that?
“No, it’s his stage name. It’s kind of an inner joke he has. Don’t worry about it.” Namjoon waved at the bartender. “If you guys are going to stay, you’ll need drinks.” Mina enthusiastically joined at that, leaving me to linger behind a bit.
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Was I making the right choice here? What would happen if I did meet this J-Hope, whose real name I hadn’t still found out and he turned out to be some wacko? Namjoon seemed fine enough and Mina was alright, but was everyone in this place all over okay?
I didn’t hear Mina ask for my order when the next minute, lights fell, thrusting the room into near black with one spotlight aimed at the stage where the announcer stood.
“Next up…! You know who he is…yes, put your hands together for J-Hope!”
Cheers and applause broke out, screams ranging from farther back reaching my ears and I politely clapped as the lights came on again, much more flashier and erratic than before.
Beats started from somewhere, low but quickly picking pace. It was catchy, I had to admit with a beat drop I felt in my stomach and then the rapper emerged, his words already midway.
“That’s J-Hope, Jung Hoseok.” I started a little, feeling Mina appear at my elbow, drink in hand and eyes calmly examining the rapper’s performance.
“He composed the song?” I asked, feeling Mina nod.
I had to say, he was impressive. The song was distinctly understated, the beat not really flamboyant but the words and his enunciation made up for it. Small quirks of his voice broke out mid song and the slight slur he had only made the song’s effect lasting. That combined with the distressed baggy jeans, tight army jacket and a bucket hat pulled low over his eyes – he looked like a professional.
“He’s really good. I loved it.” I said, when Hoseok finished, taking a curt bow and flashing a sudden smirk, half face still hidden before he vanished behind the curtain.
On the other side of me, Namjoon chuckled. “Yeah, you’re not the only one.” He said, indicating the still screaming girls. I cringed at a few who were blatantly shouting about what they wanted him to do to them.
I was going to ask this man – this overwhelmingly popular man – to act as my fake boyfriend till Jimin took notice. What had I just walked into?
“Mina, I need to go backstage. Do you and Y/N want to come with?” Namjoon asked, slipping his glasses off and replacing them with black shades.
“Yeah, I need to make a few introductions.” Mina muttered, putting her cup down and grabbing my arm. “Let’s go.”
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The backstage to the club was quieter. The screaming that previously deafened me had dimmed by now, eagerly awaiting the next artist to scream for and the lull was bliss to my poor ears and more than likely to the performers also.
Mina and I walked with Namjoon, through the small section where I spied the announcer taking a drink and some boys chatting up fans obviously.
“I’ll be going on now. Make sure you don’t leave without saying goodbye.” Namjoon called, nudging Mina a little with his shoulder before pointing over her head. “There’s Hobi and Yoongi. Go wait with them.”
I watched Namjoon depart, with a small wave in my direction that I smiled at before Mina was leading me over to where two men were deep in conversation.
“Boys,” Mina threw her arms over their necks in lieu of a greeting. The smaller boy jumped a little, immediately retaliating with a smack. “Bitch, I didn’t see you during my performance.”
“I work for a living, Min. Plus, I came, didn’t I? I also brought a friend.” She turned to me, gesturing me to come forward. I took a small step forward.
Two heads turned to me in surprise, eyes boggling a bit. “You have friends?” The taller one, Hoseok obviously, asked. This time it was him getting smacked before Mina snorted. “Only this one, actually; this is my precious, sweet roommate, Y/N. Y/N, this goof here is Yoongi, and that jackass,” she paused, heavy with implication, “is Jung Hoseok.”
My eyes helplessly fixed on Hoseok, who was looking right back at me. His hat was gone, hair falling to the front in a sweaty mass. His head was thrown back, cheekbones high and flushed. His eyes were a little narrowed in thought and he glimmered in perspiration but somehow managed to not look gross.
He was actually surprisingly good looking – hot even. I could understand the screaming girls now. If he looked like this, and his rap sounded like that…well, he probably deserved more screaming fans.
“Looks like your girl has a crush, Mina, she didn’t even look at me.” Yoongi cut in suddenly.
I shook my head immediately, turning to him with a smiling apology. “No sorry; I’m just a little overwhelmed. I’ve never been to an underground rap thing before.” I explained.
“Ah, you’re a little newbie.” Yoongi smirked, teasing with small teeth full on display. Eh, it was cute. Were all Mina’s friends so surprisingly adorable under their intimidating personas?
“What’s the matter, Min? You jealous a chick is eyeing me instead of you?” Hoseok shot at his friend, who grimaced.
“Dude, I don’t need to be jealous of you and your chicks. I distinctly remember a few of yours having STDs the last time. I have enough to handle. Besides, what if she’s already dibbed by Namjoon?”
“Then a duel can happen,” Mina cut in quickly. “Now, are you going to get us drinks or what?”
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The drinks happened once Namjoon had joined us. Mina had already given me a silent signal and while I was quickly loosing nerve, I knew I had to take at least one shot. If he refused, well…I could just die in shame, never try crossing paths with him, maybe move out of the shared apartment and oh, die alone. Maybe I could get a nice cat – a Persian.
The three rappers took me and Mina to a booth, sliding in and letting out groans of comfort.
“It’s always better once everyone leaves and we can just chill.” Namjoon explained to me. I hummed, sipping gingerly at my coffee. My eyes drifted, watching where some of the workers had started sweeping out balloons, confetti and glitter. Some were polishing equipment and glasses and even Anton was at a table, nursing a drink. I saw the bartender by the front, counting bills.
“Do you earn from this?” I asked.
“Why, thinking of trying to give us some competition?” Hoseok leaned forward, straight across from me, a haughty grin spread across his face.
I blinked, taken aback. “You don’t seem to have much confidence in your skills, if you think I can give you competition.”
The comment was out before I could even think of stopping it. It bubbled out and I smacked my mouth shut, eyes widening.
Oh fuck, I did not just say that.
There was a stunned silence, a look of genuine surprise passing over Hoseok’s face as he gaped at me. Mina was smirking proudly while Namjoon and Yoongi guffawed openly.
“Nice, blatant insulting mixed with a little self depreciation. You’ll fit right in, Y/N.” Namjoon laughed.
Yoongi chose to answer my question. “We do earn some. You have to start a novice, of course. That’s a no pay show until you create a fan base and you know, actually have people screaming for you. Management gives you…a promotion then. The club hosts us, promotes us, and gives us special shows, even solos. The ones who buy tickets to watch us are what make us special. The money is divided between us and the club.”
“That’s really wonderful. You must all work hard.” I said.
“Yeah, which is why we spend all our time here; composing and writing verses. College is great and all, but we’re artists. Exposure is everything at this stage.” Namjoon added.
I caught Hoseok giving Mina a look and blushed. He was probably going to rant about how I was a loud mouthed idiot. There go all my chances.
“Well guys, this has been great but Y/N has classes tomorrow and I got to get to work. I’ll see you guys very soon.” Min got to her feet, her eyes on me. I took my cue, standing up as well.
Yoongi and Namjoon griped, Hoseok lounging back almost as if he was expecting something. At Mina’s pointedly raised eyebrows, I tossed caution to the winds. “Um, Hoseok, can I have a word?”
There was a pause in which Hoseok turned calm, cool eyes on me, his face blank. Then, slowly, fluidly, he got to his feet, looking at me expectantly.
I turned, keeping my head down to hide my furious blush. Namjoon wolf whistled behind us. “Stop it, Joon, she just wants to apologize.” Mina quickly cut him off.
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Hoseok followed me out through towards the exit, taking a turn in one of the smaller hallways.
“This way,” He said curtly, a jerk of his head indicating me to follow him while he led us out, hands deep in his jacket pockets. “It’ll be quieter here.”
I meekly obeyed, taking smaller steps compared to his long legged strides. We reached a double door, Hoseok pushing down the bar lock so we could slip out.
It was probably the back alley of the bar, lined with dumpsters, wooden and metal crates and various odds and ends expected of an underground club, I supposed. It was cooler here, breath rising up in visible white puffs from our mouths.
Hoseok walked to the farther back, leaning against it with one foot propped on the exposed, chipped bricks. “So, what did you want to talk about?” He asked. “I doubt it’s an apology for what you said.”
I frowned a little at that. Mina had said that to hide my ulterior motives, something I was grateful to her for but that did not mean I was going to actually do it.
“I can if you think it’ll help you.” I said, letting just a hint of acid creep into my voice.
Hoseok managed a laugh. “No, Y/N, I don’t need you to appease my bruised ego. Just get on with it.” He said.
I nodded, taking one deep breath. “I have something of a proposition for you.” I said.
The boy in front of me tilted his head to one side. “What kind of proposition?”
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I fought hard to not close my eyes, to not let the intimidating Hoseok render me speechless. All I had to do was spit it out. What was the worst that could happen? He could refute the proposal, the least humiliating. He could laugh and call me delusional or a conniving bitch. That, well, that I’d just have to handle without trying to let the fact bother me that I did not come off as pleasant in this situation either way.
The worst of it was probably that I knew it, and yet I was going through with it.
So, without missing another beat, I let her rip. I told him about Jimin, my desire for him and what I wanted him to do. I tried to say it without sounding ridiculous but with the plan out – yes, I could hear the dumbness of it.
I was asking Jung Hoseok – popular, famed, sexy Jung Hoseok, on whom girls and maybe boys threw their bodies with wild abandon – to act as my boyfriend, till Park Jimin took notice, felt miraculously jealous and asked me out. What was the logic? Why would Jimin, hopefully more sensible than me, ask me out when he thought I was with Hoseok?
Even as I finished, Hoseok had lounged further, now looking a little bored.
“Yeah, I know; Mina already told me.”
I stuttered to a stop.
“Mina…she told you what now?” I asked a little weakly.
“All of that which you just said. I already knew that.” He waved a finger in the air to show ‘all that’.
“Hang on…if you knew already; why would you ask me to say it all again?” Irritation had flared up in my throat, fighting the rising embarrassment.
Hoseok shrugged. “Call it an experiment. Mina said you and she discussed this late at night. Weird decisions are made late at night. You showing up here were surprising. So I wanted to see if you could say what you wanted.”
I lolled back on the balls of my feet, staring at him. “So, what’s the conclusion?”
He didn’t answer the question. “I need you to know this. I don’t get along with Park Jimin a lot. I don’t have a problem annoying the shit out of him. I just need to know if you’re up for this.” He lowered his head to pin me with a gaze that was of warning and stern grievance at once.
I paused, weighing options that might mean a whole of an eventful year. Then came; the crinkled, wide smile that Jimin beamed, his golden skin gleaming in the sunlight.
I looked up to give Hoseok a steeled look. “Yes, I’m in.” I said firmly.
Hoseok’s blank stern face melted into a wicked smirk, eyes shining with mocking intent. “We’ll see about that. I hope you’re ready for a fun ride,” He paused heavily, “baby girl.”
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rikerxworf · 4 years
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☆. Meta: Frame of Mind ⭒*
Despite it being quite dark in its tone and themes, I felt like writing about this episode, s6e21. It has some very nice Worfriker moments that say a lot about their canon relationship. In fact, I’d argue that if you put on your shipping goggles, it’s one of their ‘shippiest’ episodes (´ ᵕ ` *)
! Trigger warnings for abusive treatments of mental illness, and violence !
Plot summary: For one of Beverly’s plays, Will rehearses the role of a mentally ill character in an asylum. He’s afraid of screwing up but tries rather eagerly to nail his dialogue. Meanwhile, Picard wants him to find a lost Federation science team on an anarchistic alien planet, and Will gets briefed on the undercover mission by Worf, who seems downright anxious to secure Will’s safety during the operation. Unintendedly, he cuts Will with a knife.
Will slowly grows more paranoid and restless, and eventually finds himself trapped in the alien asylum from the play, where the doctors say that he was a killer and was having hallucinations about a Starship. Will agrees to let himself be treated with ‘reflection therapy’, where it turns out that Picard, Troi and Worf each represent a part of his personality. Attempts by the Enterprise crew wanting to rescue Will fall flat because by now, he is convinced that he’s imagining all of this and really ‘insane’.
He finally escapes the illusion on his own, waking in an alien lab, and manages to reach the communicator Worf gave him to have the Enterprise beam him up to safety – turns out he had been abducted during his mission and experimented on. The pain and images he saw were his mind trying to keep him same, Troi explains. In the end, Will clears the stage for the play with his bare hands because he could not sleep knowing it was still up.
.
Despite Will being such a humorous character, his character episodes can be really dark, and “Frame of Mind” is surely one of TNG’s darkest episodes overall. However, there are really sweet strands drawn throughout it, namely Will’s connection to his fellow crewmates. And Worf’s is the most interesting one to me, so it will be the focus of my text *:・゚✧
Which brings me to my first point – we don’t see the real Worf in this episode at all. Everything before the lab scene takes place entirely in Will’s head as he’s being experimented on for strategic information that’s being pulled directly from his brain, so much so that he’s close to ‘becoming insane’. In retrospect, this is really important for the interpretation of the previous scenes, because at the end of the episode, Deanna explains that
“Your mind must have created a defense mechanism that helped you resist the neurosomatic process. Your unconscious fastened on to elements of your real life in an attempt to keep you grounded, to keep you sane.”
So, everything we see is not a one-to-one reliving of Will’s memories, but rather an idealized version that his mind fabricated to “keep him grounded” and comforted, I might add. Deanna talking to Will in Ten Forward, Beverly caring for his mental health, Data complementing him on his performance – those are all very comforting experiences for Will.
And oh, not to mention – the mission briefing scene alone with Worf. Oh, Lord, this scene. It serves as clever foreshadowing AND plays like textbook fanfic to be honest, and I mean that in a thoroughly good way: flirty Will, grumpy Worf, irritated Will, flustered Worf.
.
When I first watched it, I was super taken aback by how extremely protective Worf was about Will. When Will keeps making nonchalant comments throughout the briefing, Worf reacts in strong disapproval, saying
“I suggest you pay closer attention, Commander. Your life will be at stake. Do you understand what I am saying?”
Like, chill dude sdfjskdsk – That was my initial reaction! Will’s comments were in good will after all. At first, he says “That’s a lot of land for one man to cover. I guess I’d better pack an extra pair of boots” with a small smile, and Worf just… sighs sdfjskdsk. (On a sidenote, I discovered the American expression ‘knocking boots’ through Star Trek, and now every time I hear it the word ‘boots’ I remember it, which is not very helpful if it’s accompanied by William T. Riker’s smile toward Worf).
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Afterwards, Worf shows Will the alien outfit that he will use for his alien disguise, and hands him the communicator, hid in a pendant. And Will literally goes, “Hmmm doesn't really match the outfit”, after which Worf suggests he’d pay “closer attention” because “his life will be at stake”, making Will straighten up to say “I do [understand what you’re saying]”.
It’s… a lot. But we’re not done yet, because Worf continues by showing Will the nisroh, the knife used for the traditional bartering ceremony that will complete Will’s disguise. It’s a very pretty looking knife, and Worf seemingly takes a lot of delight in showing Will how to move it. It’s… really cute, actually.
But then he cuts Will, and needless to say, when I first saw it I thought, man, the budget can not possibly be this low. Because it doesn’t look like a cut from a knife at all! It’s just a round wound on his temple, like a circle. And also – Jonathan Frakes’ acting isn’t that fucking bad. William looks absolutely horrified by what just happened; the look in his eyes is so uneasy that it left me really perplexed. Of course, everything clears up as we near the episode’s end: The wound never was Will getting cut by Worf’s knife, it was the circular plug the aliens used to extract information from his brain. And the horrified look was probably coupled to the immense pain Will felt from the extraction and the feeling that something wasn’t right.
Which is super intriguing, because the pain from the knife is eventually what drives him back to his former self, out of the circle of delusions, but more on that later. I want to close on the briefing scene by calling to everyone’s attention Worf’s cute reaction to the ‘cut’: he looks DEVASTATED sjdfksk
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The gasp, the flustered and breathy way he apologizes, plus Will cutting him off by saying “it’s okay” – I love it, what can I say. I love it even more when I imagine that, in the real briefing, Worf never cut Will, and this situation only occurred in his mind to “keep him grounded”. It’s… a lot, as I said. Especially considering that “a Klingon who had cut me with a knife” is one of the first things Will remembers in the asylum.
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The asylum scenes have been pure terror to me, in a very horror film kind of way. When Will gets trapped there first, it’s bad, apart from a few things he remembers (like Worf). But when he returns there, running across the Enterprise’s corridors, terrified, thinking he had returned safely to his quarters but actually finding himself in the ward yet again – poor Will screams “No!” and “Let me out of here!”, which would have been a perfectly okay time to cut to black. But they didn’t.
To break everyone’s heart, they showed him sinking down against the door, quietly crying “Help me”, which… don’t worry, we’ll come back to. “Help” is an important word in this script.
Earlier in the asylum, the alien doctor explains to Will why he is here. He is accused of having murdered someone and behaving extremely violent, as one of the alien guards explains:
“I remember when they brought you in. You were struggling, screaming. We could barely hold you down. In fact, just getting the blood off your hands took over an hour.”
I’ll get back to this description later. It is also mentioned that Will murdered the person with a knife, stabbing them “nine times”. We later learn that was Will fighting his abductors with the nisroh Worf had given him.
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Let’s go to another important scene, the ‘reflection therapy’. The alien doctor scans Will’s head with a device that projects different aspects of Will’s mind as holographic images that, in Will’s case, take the form of his Enterprise colleagues.
When the doctor asks Will to describe his feelings during the murder – in reality: the abduction, but Will doesn’t know that at this point – Deanna materializes and says she (Will) was “terrified”. The doctor explains to Will that Deanna represents the part of his mind dealing with “feelings”. And when he asks about “actions”, an image of Worf appears, and the first thing he says is that he (Will) was “angry”. Worf representing Will’s actions is interesting if you recall how much of a fight Will had put up when he was to be brought to the asylum, struggling and screaming.
The third image of his mind, Picard, represents some sort of rational thinking.
Soon, the reflection of feelings says, “Don’t believe this, Will. None of it’s real”, with the Picard reflection adding, “You can trust us. Everything will be all right”. Will calls them delusions when the doctors asks him if he had something to say to those comments. And then Worf goes,
“Do not listen to him, Commander. He is trying to trick you. You are in danger here.”
Notice how Worf keeps telling Will that he is not safe now. He said it before during the briefing, he says it now, and he will say it again when he and Data try to save Will. Which kind of has me wondering – does Worf really ‘just’ represent Will’s actions? It sounds to me as though he’s the part of Will’s mind that grants him safety and protection, but hey that’s just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, the quote from above is not all the reflection says. After a brief cut to Will, there’s a close-up of Worf, saying
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BOOM. For those unaware, these words are special in Trek. See, in the brilliant TOS episode “The City on the Edge of Forever”, James Kirk explains that “a famous novelist” wrote a classic in which they recommended the words “let me help” even over “I love you”, which kind of made these words carry a special meaning among Trekkies. (It also didn’t help that Spock said them to Kirk in the very next fucking episode, followed by Kirk proclaiming “I need you, Spock”. It’s a lot.)
One could argue that Worf’s reflection doesn’t explicitly say “let me help” but “let us help you”. But what difference does it make, really? It’s not Worf saying these words, it’s a reflection of the part of Will’s mind that is represented by Worf. In this context, I wouldn’t give the pronouns too much emphasis. Basically, it’s Will’s need of safety telling him that he is loved and not alone. It’s honestly very touching (´ ᵕ ` *)
However, after talking to him more and more, Will does not want to see these reflections anymore. He chases them away with a loud “no”, clearly distraught by what he just saw.
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In the night following the ‘reflection therapy’, Will is woken by Data and Worf breaking into his ward to help him escape to the common area, where they have placed transporter pattern enhancers to beam him back to the Enterprise. Remember, none of this really happens, it’s all Will’s mind trying to “keep him grounded”. Worf says, “You must come with us, you are in danger here”, which, as I pointed out before, makes him sound like he is Will’s sense of protection or something.
However, Will does not want to go with them, because he still believes the Enterprise crew are delusions of his ill mind. Again, he loudly cries “Help me!” (notice a pattern here?), which makes two guards appear. They are quickly overtaken by Data and Worf, who still fight for Will even though he had turned his back on them. They then proceed to beam up to the Enterprise. I kind of think they chose these two characters as the rescuers because they were the only ones strong enough to hold William T. Riker in case he protested, which he did. However, only Worf is present in the next scene, sickbay, while Data is gone.
Beverly examines Will and treats the round wound on his temple – somehow, it had reappeared. Knowing that it’s the plug connected to real-life Will on the lab table, things now get interesting: The wound closes and reopens instantly. Will notices this illogic, and the pain keeps resurfacing as Worf and Picard explain that Will has been abducted on his undercover mission. The same wound Will thought had been inflicted on him by Worf and the knife. Exclaiming “This isn’t real!”, he knocks Worf out, takes his phaser and shots himself – because the phaser isn’t real, right?
On the next level of delusion, with the doctors and guard gaslighting Will, the pain on his temple resurfaces again, and again on the third level of delusion when he’s told to “stop fighting”. I’m sorry, but that’s a very clear line here: The pain that Will thought had been given to him by Worf (i.e. his “actions” / his ‘need for safety’) is what keeps him on the right track, namely that none of this is real.
When he’s about to give up, wearily asking “What’s happening to me…?”, the alien doctor tells him, “Listen to me. We can still save you, but you must stop fighting us”, followed by Will gasping in pain and declaring that he’s being lied to because the pain is still there.
And boy, now the ASSHOLE ALIEN DOCTOR says to him “let me help you”, which makes Will go feral. He screams and fights the doctor and the stage set, finally making him wake in-real-life, on a lab table with a cable plugged into his temple, where the wound had been all along.
I’m… Okay, listen. Even if you deny the subtext of a Worf-reflection saying “let us help you”, the contrast to the villain saying “let me help you” and Will’s reaction to it speak for themselves. He had wanted help throughout this episode. Being offered it by his friends made him speechless, but being offered it by the one who abused him all this time is what agitates Will so much that he returns to reality. I know the script was kind of last-minute, but parallels like this must be intentional.
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So, now Will is finally back in reality, for the first time in this episode. He looks around and finds the equipment he’s been given by Worf before the mission and manages to reach it before the scientists can get a hold of him. He activates the pendant’s communicator and is answered by – Worf. Who proceeds to beam him up. This is the only time ‘real Worf’ is in this episode, and it’s only his voice. But boy, after going through so much bullshit, can you imagine what Will must feel like hearing this voice? Oh, I know: safe. It’s another point in the theme of ‘protectiveness’ that Will and Worf have going on in this episode.
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Also, do you notice how Will takes the knife in his left hand and the pendant in his right? I don’t know if he’s supposed to be left-handed, because unless he is, holding a knife in your weak hand isn’t that much of a fighting advantage. But Will still goes for the pendant first, to call Worf who gave him the communicator in the first place. Plus the alien doctor watches the nisroh with such fear it’s an actual delight shdfjksk
The nisroh as a symbol is so intriguing. It’s not what gets Will into all of this, like we first think when Worf injures Will with it. It’s the thing that he uses to fight his abductors and that ultimately gets him out of there. The resurfacing pain it inflicted (in Will’s mind, that is) and the threatening gesture help Will return to the real Enterprise, where he dismantles the stage ward with such violence it really makes you think about all the times he tried to escape the ward by pushing away its walls.
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So, yeah, that’s my take on “Frame of Mind”! There are really nice and sweet moments in this otherwise rather disturbing episode, for example ‘Worf’ saying “let us help you” in that firm voice of his (´ ∀ ` *)
More than that though, I think this story is very intimate because 95% of it take place in Will’s head. His subconscious, as Deanna explains it, argues that he and Worf are ultimately connected by protectiveness. Either that, or Will just likes to think of Worf as someone who worries a lot about him lol. It’s Worf who keeps warning him of danger, making him fight and ultimately making him return to safety. That even extends keeping him “grounded” and “sane” if you ask me.
Thank you for reading this spontaneous outpouring haha! Please tell me your thoughts about it, or other episodes you find interesting! ♡
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m00nslippers · 5 years
Text
Titans S2E1, a review kinda.
I’m lazy so I’m gonna bullet point this stuff and just dump it in a haphazard order but I had some Thoughts™ about the episode that I felt like expressing.
Spoilers abound, I am withholding nothing.
I get why they held back this episode. If you look at the run time, a lot of the best stuff was actually stuff with the new characters/cast members (Slade and Bruce), and I’m pretty sure they didn’t have any of that cast at that time--at the least the news certainly came out in the interim between seasons. It seemed like the old episode might have cut off when everyone was exchanging cars but holding it back we got a lot more and I think it splits up the episodes better. So I’m okay with how they held it back.
Love the Trigon actor, not a fan of the CGI. I think the actor for Trigon was excellent, amazing. He feels so cold and malevolent but also persuasive. He’s great, I really feel his menace, he’s a great villain. The CGI when he transformed though? Mm, I think it was never going to work on the budget this show has. Personally I think they should have just alluded to his demon form with him having a Trigon-shaped shadow with the multiple glowing red eyes and then maybe we see the full Trigon figure just for a split second when Rachel is banishing him. I think it would have been a better use of the CGI to avoid it looking cheap/tacky.
Jason. You know I gotta talk about my boy Jason. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not a perfect Jason but there’s potential here. I’ve seen a lot of people say "He’s a jerk! How can anyone like him, he’s not like comic-Jason!” But I mean, none of the characters here are 100% their canon counterparts, they are all changed a little to fit the story and situation. For the most part I enjoy this show and these versions of the character for what they are in the context presented. And Jason isn’t actually a jerk, he just has a lot of teenage bravado that comes off as obnoxious and I think that’s on purpose. It’s really obvious to me that he is trying so damn hard to look cool in front of Dick and his friends, and it’s kind of just not working because they’ve been set up not to like him because he took Dick’s vigilante identity. Watch the show and you’ll realize that literally everyone he talks to is hostile to him before he even opens his mouth because he has Dick’s costume. He’s not actually a jerk, like Bruce said, he just has rough edges, in his heart he just wants to be acknowledged. Look how quick he was to say he wanted to help Dick. He really looks up to him, even if his way of showing it isn’t always the best, but he’s not going to let Dick walk all over him, either. I just hope we get a little bit more development in the season to show he’s smart and kind of nerdy. Like Dick walks into his room and is surprised he has so many books everywhere. And like sees Jason studying or something. That would make me really happy. I also am really hoping the stuff with Hawk and Jason continues because considering the character similarities (posturing bad boys with trauma and anger problems) it’s something that makes sense. Also in the comics Hank kind of goes murdery like Jason does so it’s kind of foreshadowing to place these two together.
Deathstroke was awesome. He barely had any words, but I feel like the actor’s delivery and the writing was on point. He looks the part, too (could be taller, but I’m not fussed about it). I’m looking forward to more of him. Also his password was JOEY, I saw that on someone else’s post and it made me ‘!!!’. Yeah, there’s that heart of fools’ gold that may or may not have actual gold deep down in there somewhere that I know and love! I’m really excited to see more of him. Tangentially related is Wintergreen, who has been race bent, he’s black now. And he’s a lot younger than Slade and more dressed up, not British, either. We haven’t seen much of him yet, but I really did get a long-suffering manager/friend who is torn between being-over-Slade’s-shit but also giving-too-much-of-a-shit-so-he’ll-never-really-leave feel. Yeah I read that much into his like twenty seconds of screen time. I think I’m going to like him.
Brendan Thwaites continues to be excellent as Dick. I LOVED that he went full dad-mode/big bro-mode at the end. Making his stupid jokes. He really does feel like Nightwing. He’s great. And I thought his talk with Bruce was excellent. It really stops a batfam-fan’s heart when you see these characters interact in a healthy way.
Dad Bruce Wayne is a treasure. I think I get it. I think I understand why they cast Ian Glenn. Yeah I think his looks aren’t quite right. I think they should have had him dye his hair dark at the very least, and he’s a bit old. But to me, he really sold that Bruceness, the sort of wry humor, the way he powers through any interaction with anyone on sheer force of personality but underneath it all he doesn't have a clue what the fuck he’s doing, especially with his kids. Oh my god, he’s got Batdad down so good. When Dick said his anger had stopped him from seeing all the positive ways Bruce had helped him and Bruce leaned back and tried to play it cool and was casually like, “I’d like to hear about that,” and seemed really disappointed when Dick was like, “Next time.” DUDE. He was so surprised he’d managed to make any positive impact! He was fishing so hard for tips! Like he was so clearly thinking, “Holy shit I somehow managed to do something right under all my fuck-ups? I need to know these things for Jason!” And that’s obviously his motivation for sending Jason with Dick. He’s like, clearly Dick is better at this shit than me and knows stuff I don’t, so I need to get his help on this for Jay. But of course he’ll never just say that because he’s Bruce Wayne. Classic. Oh my god, I love them so much.
All the returning cast was great as usual. I love Teagan’s new look as Raven, her hair looks great. I kind of wish her gem didn’t just look stuck on but, eh, it’s not a deal-breaker. I also continued to love Anna Diop as Starfire and her interactions with Donna. I chuckled when Donna was like, “This is Kori, she’s an alien,” and Kori was tiffed and Donna’s like, “What, you are!” and Kori is like, “You coulda put some love into it!” or something. That was hilarious. Also I think this season is going to keep leading into RaeGar and probably more DicKori and I hope we get some JayRose too.
So overall I enjoyed this episode. Honestly all the best stuff was at the end, IMO and I’m really looking forward to more. My only disappointment is that we didn’t get a scene where Bruce calls Jason into the security room and is like, “Can you explain this?”, and there’s the footage of Jason eating shit on his motorcycle on the upstairs banister. And Jason’s guilty, like “Oh fuck.” Yeah we needed that scene.
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not-safeforsanders · 5 years
Text
Sugar Daddy
Warnings: Age gap (19-37), nsfw as always, I guess sort of prostitution but not in the traditional sense. 
Ship: Logicality
Plot: It seemed like a simple arrangement, fuck the dude, get paid. Really simple. Right up until Patton realized that his sugar daddy is actually kind of...sweet
((Am I projecting onto characters again? U bet ur ass I am))
Patton sighs as he looks down at his outfit. “You look wonderful, as always, Pat,” His flatmate, Roman grins at him “That ass though,” Patton giggles a little as he stares in the mirror. White, ripped skinny jeans with a pastel blue shirt tucked into them, little cacti decorated the shirt and overall gave him a look of sweet and innocent. 
Which heavily contradicts with the arrangement he’s made. 
He slides his circular glasses up his freckled nose and runs a hand through his unruly curls in hope of sorting them out somehow. “Are you sure I look okay?” He sighs, sliding his feet into his rather battered boots and tying the rainbow print laces into double bows. Roman nods enthusiastically in response, being the personal hype man that he always is for his friends. 
“Absolutely stunning, he’s not going to be able to keep his hands off of you,” Which might also be a problem. See, Patton is no stranger to sex, it’s having sex with strangers that is the predominant issue. He knows very little about this man as a person, what if he’s not trustworthy? What if this is all just a really bad idea. Isn’t this essentially prostitution?
He thinks about this as he slides his headphones over his head and begins his journey to the place they’d agreed to meet up. It’s just dinner, really, for tonight, just to feel a little more comfortable with each other. And for Patton, a free meal is a wonderous thing especially when he sees how bare his cupboards are. 
The college student stands outside of the restaurant, hands in his pockets as he sways nervously on the spot, he glances down at his phone every now and then just to refresh his memory of what the other man looks like. A car pulls up outside, if this guy could not get any more stereotypical he has his own driver. 
Patton really does hate billionaires most days of the week, but this one is feeding him so he can’t really complain right now. 
Then, there he is. Tall, slender but not skinny, with a sharp jawline and tan skin, black hair perfectly coiffed except for one strand that didn’t seem to want to behave today, as it fell into his blue eyes. “Hi there Patton,” He extends a hand which Patton shakes with a dazed expression, tugging his headphones off of his ears. “Glad to see you got here safely, shall we” He gestures towards the restaurant with a small smile.
If he didn’t know better, Patton might say he almost looked a little shy. But men like that don’t get to come into so much money by being shy. Right? 
The inside of the restaurant is huge, with dim lighting and candles on the tables, the menus finely printed in white and gold. If Roman ever became rich, he’d love this place. As they’re seated, Logan holds out a menu for Patton before talking “So I suppose I just wanted to know about you, get to know you, perhaps it would make the whole ordeal feel less strange for both of us if...”
“We don’t feel like strangers?” Patton smiles a little “Yeah I get that feeling,” His eyes widen at the prices on these meals, a soft ‘what?’ leaving his lips. “Why...Why here? Aren’t these prices a little...excessive?” He’d really just wanted something to eat, he hadn’t expected a meal of nearly $200. 
“Admittedly, not my general place of eating, it is excessive, but I wanted to make a good impression, and I’m told the best way to do that is too...” He trails off a little, looking for the right words. 
“Buy them?” Logan’s cheeks flush, looking a little mortified at first until he sees Patton’s grin “You don’t need to throw your money at me for everything, especially food that I probably won’t even enjoy,” He rests the menu on the table for a moment “And if you really want to make a good impression, mister, you could start by not throwing money around like it’s nothing, the costs of these meals are the cost of my rent for a month,” He chuckled “But I suppose I’ll enjoy being spoiled just for tonight,” 
“I apologize, I hadn’t quite considered you may be offended by frivolous displays,” Patton hesitates, noting the sincerity in the other’s voice, and that the blush to his cheeks hadn’t quite faded making this detail noticeable even in the low light. He’s kind of cute. For someone in their late thirties anyway. 
They order food and wine and talk. Logan discusses his work, which was formerly as a CEO of his father’s company and he detested every second of it, he now works as a professor. “I finished my doctorate when I was 25,” He explains “But my father wanted me to work for him, and it paid very well so I stayed, and I saved up a lot of my money because I knew there would be a time where it didn’t come so freely, but then my father died and I got practically all of his money, and my brother took over the company so it all worked out in the end,”
“I take it you and your father didn’t get along well?” 
“He was, for lack of better phrasing, the world’s biggest asshole,”
“Language!” Logan laughs a little, and Patton can’t help but smile a little. “So now you work in a University? What do you teach?”
“Physics,” Patton nods, he knows nothing about physics, or science, or really anything that requires any degree of mathematics. “And what about you? You mentioned you are a student?”
“Part-time, it’s all I can afford,” He chuckles, but it has a sad tone to it. “I work two jobs just to make rent, sometimes I have to cover some of my roommates because his boss keeps fucking him around, and it’s not exactly easy to get a job these days,” He notices Logan’s expression and corrects the misunderstanding that may have occurred “He always pays me back! It just leaves us both a little strapped for cash when it happens, which basically means food is...nonexistent,” Logan’s eyebrows furrowed, as if he couldn’t quite comprehend that people live like that.
“What do you want to be?” He finally asks. 
“Oh, I want to work with children, primary school children mostly because teenagers are scary,” 
“Admirable, much harder job than mine, I spend too much time around young children and fear I may spontaneously combust,” He fidgets around with his phone for a moment “And what’s your roommate's name?”
“Roman, Prince,” Logan nods slowly, not looking up from his phone for a moment. 
“And what University do you study at?”
“Beacon College...is this 20 questions?” Patton watches him with a look of confusion on his face but is then distracted as the food is put down in front of them. He thanks the waiter with a smile as he starts to eat. Logan switches off his phone and places it down on the table, ignoring it’s existence again. 
“Apologies, work texts,” Patton nods, understanding as he practically shovels the food into his mouth. “I appreciate that you may be hungry, but if you continue to eat at that pace you will make yourself feel sick,” The student slows down a little, swallowing his food before uttering with a smile.
“You sound like my mom,” He teases lightly, as Logan rolls his eyes and starts on his own food. The two eat in varying degrees of quiet, occasionally chipping in odd comments and tidbits of conversation. At the end of the meal, Logan tips the waiter and gives him a smile. “Put it in your pocket and don’t tell your boss,” Patton advises, the waiter laughs and gives Patton a small wink as he takes the plates back to the kitchen. 
“This was nice,” Logan said gently “I almost forgot we even had a predetermined arrangement halfway through that meal, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to talk to a person in a normal manner, it’s very...calming and grounding to spend time with someone who doesn’t mind being honest with me,”
“Honesty is the best policy, most of the time,” Patton replies, digging his hands into his pockets “So...do I go back to yours or...?”
“Perhaps not tonight, our meal lasted longer than anticipated and I have a 9 AM lecture to teach tomorrow,” Patton nods and looks down at his feet awkwardly. “If you don’t mind me asking, however, do you mind...if you’re interested...?” He stumbles over his words, a man so eloquent yet so easily foiled by matters of the heart as he gestures loosely towards Patton. 
The student smiles, watching the man trip over his words before he finally pities him just a little too much, and leans up to kiss him gently. He tastes like wine and coffee and whatever was in that meal he ordered, yet he also tastes soft...and of something that Patton had never tasted before. 
As quickly as it started it was over, and Logan ducks his head to hide the flushed cheeks as Patton fights back a smile. “See you later,” 
“Yeah,” Logan replies dazedly, blinking as he watches Patton walk away “See you later,”
--
For the next two days, Patton can’t stop thinking about Logan. He gets a text just as he’s finishing work on the first day asking if he’d like to come over for dinner tomorrow evening. When he says yes, Logan asks for his address and says he’ll send someone to pick him up. 
Now Patton’s not, generally, dumb. That’s what he tells himself as he hands over his address to a near stranger, an action that has him, and Roman, questioning his sanity. He gets through his own front door to be greeted by his roommate, who looks like he’s just seen a ghost, he’s holding an envelope in each shaking hand. “I think your sugar daddy paid off our university bills,” He whispers, holding out an unopened letter with Patton’s name on it. “Because I didn’t pay them off,”
Patton reads his own letter, a hand coming up over his half-open mouth. “Holy...smokes,” He whispers “He didn’t? He did, holy...oh my God,” His face breaks out into a smile. 
“Jesus you must have some sort of magic ass to get that done,” Patton flushes red at the comment and shoves Roman playfully. 
“We haven’t actually fucked yet, but I guess I should probably go get changed for that,” Roman squeaks as he ushers the other man to his room. 
“I have to dress you for this occasion,” Patton sighs, but there’s no arguing with Roman once he has his mind set on something. They’re both the same height and weight and it’s not uncommon for Roman to steal some of Patton’s jeans every now and then, but in general, the younger has a much more frivolous taste in clothing. Which is how Patton finds himself wearing a pleated white skirt that falls just above his knees, with knee-high socks and dark blue shirt. “You’re definitely getting laid tonight,” Roman chuckles as he sits cross-legged on the bed applying glitter to Patton’s eyelids. He pauses for a moment “Is this...do you want to do this?” He finally asks, looking worried. 
“I do,” Patton replies softly “I wasn’t sure at first, but he’s actually...really sweet and, if all else fails, really cute,” Roman nods, satisfied with this response “And he has lovely eyes,” The elder can hear his friend laughing just a little at his lovestruck expression, but Patton can’t quite react as the younger resume applying makeup. 
The car picks him up at the time agreed upon and Patton gives Roman a quick kiss on the cheek, with the promise that he’ll call if he needs him. The ride to Logan's house wasn’t all too long, and the house itself was not quite as lavish as Patton has been expecting, no it was a moderately sized house that most upper-class people would have, with a quaint and pretty garden. 
Patton stands at the door feeling so small against the big house, reaching up to knock before stepping back a little. Logan opens the door, wearing skinny jeans and a smart blue shirt tucked into them. A tea towel resides on his shoulder, indicating he’d just been using it which is solidified by a wonderful smell. “You have your own driver but you cook for yourself?” Patton relaxes and smiles as he teases the elder man just slightly.
“I can’t be completely helpless in the world,” He holds open the door “May I take your jacket?” Patton smiles and slides the denim jacket off his arms, handing it to Logan as he hangs it up on the coat stand. “Generally I ask for people to take their shoes off at the door, I have some house shoes, cleaning these carpets can be a nightmare,” Patton nods, they have the same rules in their flat too, only because their vacuum is trash and neither of them has a lot of time for cleaning. He toes off his shoes and slides his feet into slippers that are four sizes too big, but he doesn’t miss the slightly endeared look Logan gives him. 
“So what’s for dinner?”
“Lasagne if that’s okay? I realized I possibly should’ve asked if you have any dietary requirements,”
“Oh no, not at all, it smells lovely,” He follows the other into the kitchen and sits down at the dinner table “So did you...was it you who...paid off our student debts? And our tuition? That’s a lot of money I don’t know how to thank you...”
“I’m not in the habit of lying, so I will admit I did, but I don’t want nor need a thank you, I have the money to spare I wouldn’t make a decision financially that I couldn’t handle,” Logan rests a plate down in front of Patton “Furthermore, please don’t feel obligated to me, I simply couldn’t handle the idea of you struggling like that, you don’t...deserve it, nobody does, and for now it’s all I can do,” He sits down opposite Patton with his own plate “Also the food is hot, please don’t burn yourself,”
Patton can’t quite understand his kindness. They had a set of rules in place, an arrangement. Patton hadn’t even given him his end of the bargain and Logan wasn’t remotely pushing for it, he was simply being...nice? Letting Patton go at his own pace? It’s rather sad that Patton really does not, cannot, fathom why someone would do such a thing. 
But there again, if it were him in Logan’s shoes he’d probably do the same. They eat in a comfortable silence as Patton digests his first and only meal of the day. He feels out of place in this big home, he feels so small against the tall walls and like he doesn’t belong, doesn’t fit. As he finally rests down his knife and fork, he looks nervously over at Logan. “So I guess you would like me to...I mean our arrangement was...”
“I only want you to do what you want to do, your company has been more than pleasant enough,” It finally settles into Patton that sex hadn’t been what Logan wanted at all. For some reason, it had been easier to say that than admit the truth. 
He’s lonely. 
All the money in the world can’t buy you a real friend, can’t buy you someone to listen to your awful parents except maybe a therapist, it can’t buy you someone who looks past who you’re supposed to be into who you are. Patton’s lips quirk a little “Well I’m lonely too,” He replies “And I’m bored, and I’m not...opposed,” Logan rests down his knife and fork and wipes his mouth off on the napkin “But I suppose you don’t get this often...what do you want?”
It takes the elder a moment before he nods “Mostly to watch a movie and see what happens,” Patton nods. 
“Netflix and maybe chill it is then,” Logan looks like he doesn’t understand the reference, Patton is somehow completely not surprised. 
They curl up on Logan’s bed as he opens Netflix, Patton’s head rests on the elder’s collarbone, his arm around his stomach. Once a film had been chosen, Logan’s arm rests comfortably around the smaller’s shoulders. “You look...nice,” He says softly, compliments not always coming easy to him but he felt the overwhelming urge to make sure the other knows he is pretty. “I like the skirt,”
“I bet you’d like what’s underneath it too,” Logan’s jaw tenses and his breath hitches a little as Patton leans up to kiss him softly. “Say no if you want to stop,” He mutters against his lips. It had been a while since he’d had the time to simply...well, fuck; Roman seemed to have someone every other night but he also has ten times the amount of energy of a normal human being. Which usually meant Patton had to listen through the very thin walls. 
He’s lonely and he’s horny, in essence. “So much for just seeing where it goes, huh?” Logan mutters as Patton’s thighs trap his body underneath him, his ass resting against the other’s crotch suggestively. 
“I’m seeing where it goes,” He kisses him again, his hands keeping himself up as he grinds his ass down against Logan, eliciting a rather surprised gasp as the elder man’s eyes closed. Patton somehow looks even prettier, his glasses sliding down his nose, his skirt tenting slightly as it rested higher up his thighs. 
Logan’s hands rest firmly on Patton’s hips as he rolls his own up against Patton's ass, feeling his own cock harden underneath the younger. Logan’s hand slides up Patton’s skirt, squeezing him through the material of his very tight, very thin underwear; the brunette gasps out and rocks his hips into Logan’s touch with a whimper of need, nails digging into his partner’s arms. “Fuck me, please, Patton breathes quietly against Logan’s neck, his breath turning sporadic. 
The elder man doesn’t need to be told twice as he easily flips them over, lying Patton down into the bed; he takes a brief moment to admire how wonderful he looks with his cheeks flushed, legs spread, soft curls splayed out against the pillows. Logan wastes no time sliding his partner’s underwear down, discarding the item before sucking the tip of Patton’s cock between his lips, tongue brushing against the slit. 
Patton gasps and whimpers and makes all sorts of wonderful noises as he tries not to simply fuck Logan’s throat. “Please Lo...” He finally manages, embarrassingly needy after spending so long alone. The blue-eyed man pushes through his drawers, looking for the bottle of lube and a condom 
Once he’s found both of these things he slides his belt through the loops and discards it. Pouring some lube onto one hand, he teases Patton’s hole a little, whilst listening to the soft pants and whimpers coming from the brown-eyed man’s lips. As he starts to stretch the other open, forearm tensing as he works his fingers in and out of Patton, with his other arm he squeezes himself through his boxers. His dick flexes under his touch and a quiet moan escapes him, biting down on his lip as he watches the way Patton rocks his hips into Logan’s touch “I’m ready,” He whispers. 
The professor nods as he kicks off his trousers and underwear, sliding a condom over his hard length and lubing himself up. His arm rests to the side of Patton as he uses his free hand to guide himself into the other. Patton welcomes the pleasurable burn with a quiet series of moans, easily accommodating his partner. “Fuck that feels good,” the younger whispers once Logan’s cock is fully inside of him. 
“Good, it would be somewhat counterproductive if it didn’t,” A light teasing tone accompanies the seriousness of his statement. He does want Patton to enjoy this too. It’s been a while for him too, and the warm tightness around his dick is slowly eating away at his resolve, he takes it slow anyway so he doesn’t cause Patton any unwanted pain. 
He rests himself between Patton’s legs, his chest pressing against Patton’s, as their lips meet again in a warm and heated kiss, Logan moves slowly at first until he can taste and hear the quiet demands for him to go faster. As he thrusts into the other, feeling his skin prick with heat and muscles burn in his arms and thighs and abdomen. Patton responds by grinding his hips up, whimpering every time the angle was just right; he makes a lot of noise, but quietly, soft whimpers and gasps in quick succession of each other. 
Logan has been told he’s too methodical to make noise during sex. He concentrates so much on making his partner feel good that sometimes he genuinely forgets he’s supposed to also be feeling good, and he does...it’s just sort of like background noise right now. 
He leans down to suck and bite at Patton’s neck, his hand finding the younger’s twitching cock and squeezing. He teases a little, listening to the curses aimed at him with an amused lilt to them before he strokes Patton properly and in time to the rapidly increasing thrusts. “Fuck, Lo...I’m close,” 
“Language,” Logan teases a little before he presses deep inside the other, Patton bites down on the other’s ear lobe in response, taking note of the throaty and surprised moan it elicits. Patton bites down on his bottom lip, his throat bared as he arches lightly, his nails digging into Logan’s shoulders as he moans and gasps, eyes screwing shut. 
Logan thinks he looks absolutely stunning as he comes, watches him stammer out words in an order that makes no sense, although he does catch a “thank you,” in there. He stills his thrusts as Patton hisses lightly from the overstimulation, pulling out and rolling the condom off of his cock. Once the younger moves again, he pushes Logan back onto the bed, looking a little shaky but with a wide smile on his lips. “There are some flavored condoms in there if you need them,” Logan supplies helpfully. 
He didn’t think he’d ever see someone get excited over flavored condoms. He can’t help but smile as Patton holds up the different flavors. “I have got to try all of these,” He mutters, before grabbing the strawberry one and opening the packet, rolling it down Logan’s dick. The elder relaxes back into the pillows at the touch, watching as Patton’s head sinks between his thighs. His hands grip the sheets at the warmth and wet, trying his best to keep his hips pinned firmly to the bed as Patton finishes him off, head bobbing up and down his cock. 
It doesn’t take much longer for Logan to finish, gasping out Patton’s name like a prayer as he shifts his hips just a little into the other man’s mouth. As he reaches his climax, Patton looks up at him through long lashes and that image is really all he needs to be pushed straight over the edge. 
He lies back, running a hand through his sweat-slicked hair as he smiles up at Patton, the younger crawling up his body to press a kiss to his lips before the two set about chucking the condoms in the bin and getting a shower. 
Logan doesn’t quite think he’s ever liked someone as much as he likes Patton. Although the sex has done wonderful things for his Dopamine levels, he doesn’t think it’s the sex that makes him feel this way; no it’s more to do with the fact that Patton is currently dancing around the bathroom wearing nothing but his underwear whilst singing along to music that logan has never heard before but has decided he loves. And there’s his smile. And his eyes. And how his hair seems even curlier after sex. 
Logan just...really likes Patton. 
--
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Riding High
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Ch8: Adler vs Adler
Chapter Summary: The gloves are off in court as Frank faces off against his mother.
Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Talk of suicide.
Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher
A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. Also, those of you who do know this film well will see that I’ve changed the dates referenced in the court case, that’s because I brought the timeline of Gifted forward from 2015 (when it was filmed) to 2017 (when it was released). This was mainly to suit Fliss’ backstory of the Olympics. 2015 is too close to 2012 for me to make it work. Also Frank’s middle name is an absolute H/C too as I couldn’t find it anywhere so, sorry if this annoys any of you but, to quote @icanfeelastormbrewing- “my coffee, my fic, my rules…”
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 7
“And love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine so yours can open too…’cause I’m gonna stand by you”
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 The first bit of evidence the next morning was the findings of the Welfare Department’s investigation. It had thrown nothing out of the ordinary up. The house was clean enough, Mary was fed, but they did point out that their current living arrangements wouldn’t be suitable for much longer as Mary would need her own room as she grew older, something which Frank’s attorney accepted on behalf of Frank, stating to the court that Frank had already considered this. Which in fairness he had. The Welfare Department continued then, stating that Mary’s interview the previous day hadn’t thrown up anything of concern, even if there were some questionable TV viewing habits, namely Ultimate Fighting on a Saturday night, but they were satisfied that overall Mary was suffering no ill effects, mentally or physically from being with Frank.
This took them just under an hour, as they were factual reports. Both Attorney’s requested clarification on certain points but there were no questions or cross examinations to be done. As such they had concluded just after eleven am and there was then a small ten minute break to allow a quick consultation between clients and attorney’s before Evelyn was to take to the stand. As people moved around, passing papers and files to one another, Frank turned in his seat and just as he glanced round, someone left the courtroom and through the open door Fliss walked in, dressed in a smart pair of black jeans and a light blue strappy top. He flashed her a smile and she gave a small wave, settling onto a seat next to Roberta who gave her a hug. She’d missed the early session due to having to sort the horses out but she’d cleared her diary and brought in cover for the rest of the day so she could be there to lend him support.
And even though the morning had, all in all, been favourable to him, Frank felt his spirits raise even more at the sight of her there in his corner so to speak. Tearing his eyes away from her, Frankturned back to Greg who was watching him, eyebrow raised.
“Well that’s a mighty big smile Frank.”
“I just spotted some additional back up, that’s all.” Greg turned to see the woman who was now talking to Roberta and he grinned, spinning back to Frank “Let me guess, Fliss?”
Frank nodded “Yeah, I’ll introduce you later.”
Greg raised his eyebrow, smiling a little. “I look forward to it. Anyway, back to business. That opening report from the Welfare Department was good, well as good as it’s gonna get. But dude, Ultimate Fighting? Really?”
“It’s harmless fun.” Frank shrugged
Greg shook his head “Whatever. This next bit ain’t gonna be as easy.” “No shit.” Frank mumbled, looking at his mother as she said something to Highsmith, her attorney. “She’s going to rip me to pieces, and no doubt enjoy doing it too.” “Yep.” Greg nodded “But just keep doing what you’re doing. No outbursts, stay quiet, focussed and listen. If she says something that isn’t accurate, or you think of anything we can use, note it down and I’ll use it in my cross examination, okay?” Frank nodded as Judge Nicholls banged his gavel down and issued instructions for everyone to reconvene. He called Evelyn to the stand where she was sworn in and Highsmith stood up and began firing questions at her, a well-practiced dance, Frank could tell.
From the gallery Fliss watched intently. She’d been missed the first session but Roberta had hastily filled her in, telling her it had gone well. She shot Frank another encouraging smile, just as the judge called them back to order, and couldn’t help but notice how good he looked in his suit. A far cry from his dirty jeans and ratty work t-shirts. Which, if she was honest, she preferred…
Evelyn took to the stand and Fliss felt herself bristling as she proceeded to utterly character assassinate Frank, depicting him as nothing more than an irresponsible bum, floating around with no purpose to life, a man who didn’t care about Mary’s welfare, preferring to simply fly by the seat of his pants instead of giving her any decent roots or thoughts to her needs. At one point, they started to question his motivations towards taking Mary being more about punishing Evelyn that actually caring about the girl. To this Frank’s attorney objected and as the two lawyers began to argue, Fliss found her nails cutting into her palms as she clenched her fists. Roberta gently reached out and squeezed her arm and she turned to the woman next to her and gave her a tight smile.
“Frank’s attorney, Greg Cullen, he’s good…” Roberta whispered, “He’ll go at her when he gets his chance, you’ll see.”
The objection was overruled, the judge telling Cullen he would get his chance to challenge that statement in his cross examination, and Cullen sat down, leaning over to whisper something to Frank who nodded, his eyes not once leaving his mother. Cullen jotted something down as Evelyn continued.
By the time she finished it was almost one pm so they broke for lunch, Judge Nicholls instructing everyone to be back in an hour. Fliss and Roberta headed outside to wait for Frank who met them shortly after.
“Hey.” Fliss gave him a gentle hug. “How you holding up?”
“About as well as I can for someone whose own mother just tore them to shreds under oath.” Fliss’ eyes narrowed “I hope your guy is gonna give her as much of a shredding as she gave you.” “I’ll do my best.” A voice spoke from behind them. Fliss spun round to be greeted by Frank’s attorney.
“Fliss, this is Greg Cullen, Greg, Fliss Gallagher.” Frank introduced them to one another. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Greg smiled at her, shaking her hand. Fliss looked up at Frank and was surprised to find a faint flush of red on his cheeks.
“All good I hope?” she grimaced and Cullen nodded.
“Oh, very good indeed. I’ve been dying to meet the woman who’s made such an impression on him.” “Greg, piss off.” Frank groaned in a tired voice before he nodded over the road to the café “Shall we grab some lunch?”
They ate together, making small talk, before Greg requested Frank join him alone for fifteen minutes to go over their plan for the rest of the afternoon. Frank stood, and without even thinking about it gave Fliss a quick peck on the cheek. He winced as soon as he had, noticing that Cullen and Roberta were watching him and, knowing Fliss was going to get an absolute drilling from Roberta, he shot her an apologetic look as he walked away. She simply smiled through her blush and shook her head, turning to Roberta who nudged her arm.
“Okay, what was that?” Greg asked as they walked back over the road. “Are you two erm…”
“It’s complicated.” Frank shrugged after a little pause. “We both, well we both like each other but with everything that’s going on we’re just kind of waiting, I suppose. I’m focussing on getting through whatever it is that happens with Mary and then hopefully...what?” he trailed off as Greg was smirking at him.
“Frank Adler. Finally found a girl he likes that much he ain’t simply trying to get her into bed. Wait till I tell the guys.”
Frank rolled his eyes and pointed to the courtroom “How about you concentrate on what’s gonna go on in there instead of what is or isn’t going on in my bedroom?”
Greg gave out a chuckle and patted his friend on the shoulder as they made their way in and headed into the side room they had reserved.
****
“Mrs. Adler, in your earlier testimony here today, you painted a pretty dim picture of your own son don't you think?” Cullen asked, tapping his pen on his note pad. Frank remained stony faced, watching his mother.
“I'm under oath, I take no pleasure in it.” She said with a glance at Frank before she looked down, almost convincingly.
Frank just about managed to refrain from rolling his eyes.
“So, your son is a failure in life, your daughter took her life, you know, you're oh for two.”
Fliss winced and glanced at Roberta as Highsmith said “Objection” in an almost bored voice
“Withdrawn.” Cullen’s voice took on an amused edge but as Fliss watched as Evelyn simply eyed him, completely un-phased.
“If I go one for three, I'm in the Hall of Fame.” she shot back.
“You know baseball.” Cullen pushed his chair back. “Fenway Park.”
At that something flickered in Evelyn’s eye as she glanced at Frank. Fliss followed her gaze and watched, just able to see the side of Frank’s face. His eyes were locked onto her, his expression never faltering.
“You know, I'd like to go there sometime.” Cullen stood up, pushing his glasses up onto his head as Evelyn turned back to him “How often in a year did you take Diane to the baseball game?”
“Diane wasn't interested in sports.” Evelyn replied
“She never wanted to go to a game? Ever?”
“I don't recall her ever asking.”
Cullen moved forwards a step and Fliss saw Frank’s eyes flick to him as he continued to question his mother.
“Just out of curiosity, Fenway, that's a tough ticket. Where do you get yours?”
“My husband has season tickets.”
“And how long has he had them?” Cullen enquired
“Thirty years. But I've only been married to him for twenty.” Evelyn informed him.
“And Diane never went to one game?”
Evelyn didn’t reply, simply raised her eyebrows slightly as if she was failing to see the point. Fliss’ eyes once again flicked to Frank who still hadn’t moved an inch.
“What colour was the dress Diane wore to prom?” Cullen changed his line of questions.
“Diane didn't attend the prom, because she didn't attend the high school.” Evelyn replied calmly
“No prom.” Cullen mused before he asked suddenly.“What sports did she play?”
“As I told you earlier, she wasn't interested in sports.”
“She’s calm.” Roberta whispered to Fliss as Cullen continued to question Evelyn about Diane’s lack of interaction with other children her age.
“Too calm.” Fliss nodded. “But I can see what he’s doing, trying to paint a picture of how she isolated Diane to imply that she’d do the same to Mary. You’re right, he’s good.”
As they tuned back into the examination again, Cullen took a deep breath and glanced to his left
“Mrs. Adler,” he looked back at her, “who's Paul Riva?”
At that Evelyn glanced at Frank, her calm mask slipping ever so slightly but still Frank didn’t move. Fliss could see his expression now carried a faint, and every so sad, smile.
Evelyn gave a silent huff before she looked back at Cullen “He was a boy from the neighbourhood.”
Her tone was clipped and Fliss noticed the judge sit forward slightly at her shift in attitude, narrowing his eyes a little as he watched her curiously.
“Oh, come on. He was much more than just a boy from the neighbourhood.  Paul was Diane's first love. Wasn't he?” Cullen asked.
Fliss and Roberta exchanged a glance.
“I wouldn't characterize it that way, no.” Evelyn shook her head.
“And how would Diane characterize it?”
“Diane was seventeen years old at the time. She didn't know anything about love.”
At that Fliss caught the first movement Frank had made since his mother had started talking. He took a deep breath and looked to his left before turning back, his shoulders moving slightly in frustration as he shook his head slightly, his eyes locking back onto his mother who was carefully avoiding his gaze.
“Mrs. Adler, in January 2000 didn't Diane and young Mr. Riva run away together?” Cullen looked at her.
“He coerced her.” Evelyn corrected with the air of someone picking her words carefully.
“And where did they go?”
“Vermont.”
“And you called the police, didn't you?” Cullen stated rather than asked.
“Yes.”
“Because he kidnapped her?”
“Yes”
“And where did the police find young Mr. Riva and Diane?” Cullen looked at Evelyn
“I told you, Vermont.” Evelyn looked at Cullen, her voice suddenly taking on an icy edge which made Fliss lean forward slightly.
“Stowe, Vermont. Wasn't it? A resort town.” Cullen looked round the court room as Evelyn shifted uncomfortably. “Stowe Mountain. He took her skiing. You see, kidnappers don't usually take their victims skiing.” Cullen paused from his explanation. When he spoke again his voice was calm, and slow, stressing the point perfectly “But this is what Paul did because he and Diane were in love.”
“No.” Evelyn refuted firmly
“And when they returned, you pressed kidnapping charges.” Cullen’s voice rose in volume and speed as he spoke. “You filed a lawsuit against his parents, until Paul stopped calling Diane. Didn't you?”
“Yes.”
“And Diane never heard of or saw Paul Riva again. Did she?” Cullen’s tone was harsh, accusatory as he stared at Evelyn.
“Poor girl.” Roberta mumbled besides her and Fliss shook her head, in utter shock at how a mother could be so damned cruel and out of touch with her own daughter. It made her feel a pang of sympathy for Mary’s mother despite never having known her. Fliss couldn’t imagine what she would do without either of her parents being as supportive as they were.
Evelyn must have answered as by the time Fliss turned her attention fully to what she was saying, as Cullen had asked another question.
“And how did she take it?”
“She was upset for a while. She lost focus.”
“She lost focus.” Cullen turned back to the desk and picked up a small file. “Mrs. Adler,” he turned back, file in hand, “in March of 2001 didn't Diane Adler attempt to take her own life?”
“This episode was minor. It was nothing.” Evelyn replied, her tone harsh.
“Nothing?” Fliss drew in a breath, shaking her head. For a moment she almost lost herself in another memory, of one rainy afternoon in Boston in October 2015, but she took a deep breath and focussed on where she was, as Cullen flashed the file at Evelyn.
“I have the hospital report in my hand.” he informed her
“It was nothing.” Evelyn said again, and now Fliss could see she was rattled. “Diane was not like regular people. She was extraordinary. And extraordinary people come with singular issues and needs.”
Fliss watched as Evelyn leant forward, her face creased in anger as she hissed “You have no idea of the capability she possessed. One in a billion. And you would say fine, let's throw that away, so the boy who cuts our yard can make a sexual conquest? Well maybe before you make that decision, you stand in my shoes. I had responsibilities, which went beyond the mother-daughter relationship.”
She took a deep breath and spoke again, her voice louder this time “The greatest discoveries, which have proved life on this planet have come from minds rarer than radium. Without them, we'd still be crawling in mud. And for your information, counsellor, a year after this incident with this boy Diane thanked me for my intervention. She realized she'd made a mistake and she thanked me. You see, Diane understood. She was accountable for the gift she'd been given. And she didn't shy from it.”
Every inch of Evelyn’s face was contorted with a mixture of pain and anger, and she radiated absolute fury across the courtroom as her rant built to its climax
“And I think, if she were here today, Mr. Attorney, she would refute your baseless insinuations, that she would give up her brilliant future and take her own life just because mummy didn't get her a little red wagon
There was a pause as she took a breath and sat back.
“No more questions.” Cullen said simply, turning back to his seat.
Fliss watched Frank who shifted, rubbing his chin with his left hand, his fingers curling round his jaw in an L shape as he stared at this mother, his face completely unreadable to anyone who didn’t know him, but to her she could see the pain in his eyes.
And from the look Evelyn gave him, it was obvious she’d seen it too.
***** When Mary returned home on the school bus that afternoon, Frank did his best to remain positive and keep his broodings to himself, and was thankful when Fliss suggested they head out for dinner with Roberta. The four of them went to the same restaurant he had met his mother at not long before where he ate, not really tasting his food, or listening as Fliss and Roberta chatted away. Instead his attention was completely on Mary who was stood with one of the waitresses at another table, pouring sand out of one of the bottles that was used to keep the tablecloths from blowing away. The thought that she could be without such simple pleasure of looking through sand for shells, and lost to a world of pressure and solitude like Diane had been, was breaking his heart.
He felt someone squeeze his hand at the same time Mary held up a shell and showed it to him. He took a deep breath and tried to rearrange his face into a smile as he turned to face Fliss.
“It’s going to be okay, Frank.” She looked at him and he swallowed, unable to form his words. Instead his fingers tightened around hers and she simply held his hand whilst they finished up their drinks.
Later that evening, once Mary was asleep inside the apartment, Frank and Fliss sat outside the kitchen door, shoulder to shoulder along the top step.
“You know, until I met you I thought sitting on a porch drinking beer was something only red necked hillbillies did.” Fliss teased him.
“Well, according to my mother that’s what I am.” he scoffed.
“And according to me your mother is a callous, cold hearted bitch.” Fliss spat, with such venom it made Frank look at her, his eyebrow raising a little. She took a deep breath, her voice softening “How can anyone dismiss a suicide attempt as nothing.”
Frank looked away, taking a pull from his beer. They sat in silence for a moment before Fliss broke it.
“You know back in 2015, about five months after I’d gotten married, I almost did it you know? Killed myself.”
Frank’s head turned to face her. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she remained focussed on a spot in the distance as she stared straight ahead. “My life was out of my control, and it was the only way I could think of getting some of that control back. So I took a shit load of buproprion and washed it down with half a litre of vodka.”
“Shit, Lissy I’m sorry, I had-” She waved his sympathy off and continued “After that I was offered all this help and support and-” she snorted bitterly, “I still went back to him. He convinced everyone, including me that the issue was the fact that I was still brooding over my career being cut so short, and then told me that having a kid would fix the issue. In reality there was no issue to fix. I wasn’t depressed as such, I was abused. And that was simply another way of him taking control.”
After a moment she turned to look at him, “I’m not saying your mother abused Diane, not as such but she isolated her for her own, selfish reasons, no matter how she tries to dress them up or convince herself that it was for Diane’s own good. That first suicide attempt your sister would have made a normal, loving parent sit up and pay attention to what was going on. I know it did mine, as Bill never trusted John’s explanation, not one word.” “I should have done more too.” Frank’s voice was choked as he looked down at his feet. “But I was so busy, wrapped up in my finals and…”
“Frank, Diane wasn’t your responsibility, you’re not her parent.”
“No but when Dad died, I promised I’d take care of her, always be there for her. I should have done more, and I should have known, when she turned up that day at mine with Mary…”
“Frankie.” Fliss cut him off, her hand taking his. “Take it from me, my mum and dad and brother went through all of this in their head. Did Diane give you any warnings at all because I know I didn’t?  Look at the lies and the world of fantasy I let John build up round me and detract from what was going on. I told nobody I was gonna do it Frank. And I told no body why I did it either.”
Frank sniffed and wiped at his nose slightly with his free hand.
“So you can either carry on beating yourself up over something that isn’t your fault or you can concentrate on getting the best outcome here for Mary.”
He reached for his beer which was on the step below him between his legs and nodded. She was right, he knew she was, but there would always be that part of him that wondered if he could have done more, it he should have done more.
“Are you planning on coming tomorrow?” he asked, looking at Fliss.
“Yeah, Joanne is covering again.”
“I don’t want to put you out.” he said gently, but she shook her head.
“It’s sorted.” Fliss smiled. “She wants the week of Thanksgiving off so she’s racking up the favours.”
“Well, from a purely selfish standpoint I’m glad.” He flexed his fingers against hers, looking down at where they were entwined.
“I’m not missing your testimony, if only for the sole reason of discovering what your full name is.” she teased as he looked at her. Frank gave a huff of a laugh “Francis Preston Adler, nice to meet you.” He tipped his bottle in her direction. “Preston?” She snorted “Get out of town! There’s a place in England called Preston, it’s like thirty miles away from my home!”
Frank smiled, before he sighed.
“Last day tomorrow isn’t it?” Fliss looked at him as he stared straight ahead.
He let out a breath “Yeah, well last day of evidence. Then we have to wait for however long it takes the judge to read all the reports and make a ruling.”
“Well then, I suggest you get some sleep, or as much as you can.” Fliss kissed his cheek, and with that she released his hand and stood up. Frank followed her lead, rising to her feet. “Oh, and FYI I got an absolute interrogation off Roberta before when you did that to me. Felt like it was me in the dock, not Evelyn.” For the first time all evening Frank laughed.
******
The gloomy, rainy morning matched Frank’s mood perfectly.
He sat in the dock dressed in his suit, feeling as out of place as anyone could. Greg went through the questions he had coached Frank on, questions designed not to paint him as a saint but to simply be real and portray him as a normal person, doing the best he could for his niece in line with his sister’s wishes. Frank answered them honestly. Was he perfect? No. Had he done things correctly? No. Did he wish he had spotted Diane was struggling? Yes. Did he love Mary and want the best for her? With every breath he had.
The questions continued along those lines until they broke for lunch. And then came the cross examination, and Frank knew he was in for a beating.
“Mr. Adler where are you currently employed?” Highsmith asked sitting on the desk to the left of Evelyn.
“I repair boats.” Frank answered clearly
“Oh, really? At which marina?”
“I don't work at a marina. I freelance.”
“So, safe to say, no health insurance.”
“No.” Frank shook his head
“About a week before your sister took her life what were you doing for a living then?”
“I was a teacher.” Frank replied.
“You're being modest, aren't you?” Highsmith said, standing up and walking towards the dock “You were a professor at Boston University Isn't that right?
“Yes, well, assistant professor.”
“And what'd you teach?”
“Philosophy.”
“Truth and logic. That sort of thing.” Highsmith gestured with his hands and Frank simply smiled as the man continued. “Your attorney said that the primary reason that you took Mary is because it was what your sister would've wanted you to do. Is that a truth?”
“Yes.” Frank implored
“So Diane had visited Pinellas County before?”
“No.” Frank said with almost an air of amusement on his face as he looked at his mother for a second before he glanced down and joined his hands in front of him in his lap.
“She indicated she wanted her daughter uprooted and moved here?”
Frank shook his head, closing his eyes. “No”
“No.” Highsmith repeated “So you decided to bring Mary here, didn't you?”
Frank licked his lips and drew in a deep breath as he simply stared as his mother. He was pleased so see her shift in her seat
“Did Diane had a problem with your health plan at Boston University?” Highsmith pressed.
Frank wanted to laugh. The guy was doing exactly what Greg had warned him he would do, attack his lack of healthcare, insinuate he wasn’t able or fit to provide for Mary. When he spoke his voice was calm, and he fought to keep his face as amicable as possible.
“Not to my knowledge.”
“Do you think she would want her daughter to have access to healthcare?”
Dumbass question
“Of course.” Frank nodded.
“So what do you do, when little Mary gets sick? You repair a doctor's boat?”
Frank scoffed a laugh as Cullen objected.
“Sustained.” Judge Nicholls shot Highsmith a look and Frank stole a glance at Fliss. If the situation wasn’t so serious he would have laughed at the identical look she wore to Roberta, both glaring at Highsmith like they were plotting his very painful death.
The rain outside continued to drive down as did Highsmith’s questions, the air punctuated every so often by a low rumble of thunder from the outside storm echoing what Frank was feeling inside.
“Prior to Mrs. Adler giving her one. Did Mary have a computer?”
“She used mine.”
“Mr. Adler, does Diane's daughter have her own bedroom?”
“No.”
“Does she sleep in a bed that you bought in a second hand shop?”
“Yes.” Frank looked ahead, focussing on keeping calm as Highsmith walked towards the dock, gesturing now with his hands, his tone winding up
“So, the truth is, Mr. Adler, that you didn't come down here because your sister wanted it to and you certainly didn't come here because it was good for Mary.”
Frank swallowed slightly and shifted a little, avoiding looking at the man as he tapped his hand on the side of the dock.
“No, it was personal. Diane was a star. You weren't. Diane got the attention. You didn't.”
Frank scoffed silently, oh please, and turned to look in the opposite direction.
“..and over the years You got angry. And here comes Mary. What a great way to get even.”
At that he audibly sighed. He had known this was coming, that his mother’s attorney would try and paint him as petty and vindictive but it still hurt to hear it. Hurt that his own mother would have someone attack him in such a way. He’d defend Mary to the hilt if someone was doing this to her…
“You've uprooted that little girl and brought her here for one reason only. To do harm to your mother. You blamed her for your sister.”
“No, I don't.” Frank broke his silence.
“And Mary to you is just a pawn in all this.”
And that did it, Mary wasn’t a pawn. She was a little girl, a little girl who he was doing is best by.
“Diane wanted Mary, to be a kid” Frank’s voice betrayed his desperation and emotion, and he knew that, but now he was past caring, this was the truth, it was how he felt, and he was nothing if not honest. He locked eyes with his mother as he spoke, driving his words home “.She wanted her to have a life. She wanted her to have friends and to play…”
At that his mother looked away, her eyes glistening but Frank kept his on hers as she turned back to him, his final words were almost whispered
“…and to be happy.”
“You realize the consequences of boredom for a gifted child, Mr. Adler? They become resentful and sullen.”
“Mary's not an angry kid.” Frank’s voice was calm once more.
“Really? Did she not attack a child on the school bus?”
Shit.
“A twelve year old tripped a seven year old and she came to his defense.” Frank shrugged slightly
“Did she break the boy's nose?”
“Yes.”
“On October 16th last year, were you arrested for assault?”
“Oh, my God.” Frank groaned, and he looked down before he glanced back up, momentarily locking eyes with Fliss who he noticed had taken a deep breath. He looked back down, shaking his head
“You have to answer the question Mr. Adler.” Judge Nicholls reminded him
Frank swallowed and focussed on a spot on the varnished surface of the wood in front of him, just by the microphone. “A drunk idiot attacked me and I defended myself. What does that have to do…”
“Did you spend the night in jail?” Highsmith cut him off.
“Yeah.” Frank nodded.
“You are in way over your head here. You're depriving that girl…”
Frank stayed still, shaking his head and glaring at his mother, all the while Highsmith continued ranting on at him
“…you're gambling with her future and now you’re being presented with an opportunity to do right by her.”
“Does council have a question for my client?” Cullen asked loudly
“Take the high road, Mr. Adler before she's rapidly damaged.”
“Does council have a question for my client or not?” Cullen repeated, this time standing up.
“Yes, sir. I do have a question.” Highsmith said. “Tell us. Is your continued guardianship really in the best interest of this little girl?”
“You do your best, Frank. And that’s all any of us can do…” Fliss’s voice rattled in his head, and he took a deep breath. No he wasn’t perfect. Yes, Evelyn could provide for her better than he could but could she love Mary like he did. No, no she couldn’t
He stared at his mother, as he lifted his chin and spoke loudly and clearly.
“Yes.Yes, it is.”
“I have no further questions.” Highsmith spoke.
Frank scratched at his head and left the dock.
***** Following the summing up, they were all dismissed. Frank shook Greg’s hand who told him he would be in touch and Frank left the courtroom with Roberta, Fliss nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath, realising she was probably going to run a mile after hearing about the assault. That wasn’t how he wanted her to find out. However, to his amazement and joy she was waiting for him by his truck. Roberta nodded to him and made an excuse to nip over the road to the store for a water leaving them to talk alone.
“Thought you’d gone?” he said gently.
“No, I had to take a call from Joanne about a lesson. Why would I leave without saying goodbye?” she frowned
“The assault”
Fliss sighed “Okay, I admit it was a shock to hear but…”
“At least let me explain.”
“There’s really no need. You said you were defending yourself and I believe you.”
“He was a drunk idiot.” Frank continued anyway. “I was actually out with a friend, Jacob and his fiancée, Lisa. Jake had gone to the bathroom and this guy bumped into us and sent Lisa flying into the table, knocking a load of glasses over. When I told him to be careful he took a swing at me only he missed and, well I didn’t.”
“You’re a regular knight in shining armour, Sailor.” Fliss smiled before she looked at him softly. “I know that was hard today. I was so angry and the things he was saying to you but it’s done now. Try not to think on it because you can’t change the outcome. Whatever it is, you did your best.”
“You know I remembered you saying that to me.” he smiled, “Right as he was telling me what a lousy life I give Mary.” “It’s not lousy.”  Fliss shook her head. “She’s loved Frank. And she’s happy.”
He smiled again as she took a deep breath.
“Look, I have to go, I have a lesson in an hour now this rain has let up, but what are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Working.” he said, chuckling as she raised her eyebrow. “Yeah I know, second Friday night in a row but, well I’m behind thanks to this case and whilst Roberta has Mary I can get a good few hours in during the night and then get my head down for a few hours before she comes back.”
“How about I keep you company?” Fliss offered. “Only if that’s ok?”
Frank smiled “As long as you don’t distract me too much.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.”
**** The next evening, Frank and Fliss were in the workshop at the Marina, Frank explaining to Fliss the different components of the oil filter he was stripping down. She gave a loud, exaggerated yawn and he nudged her playfully. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the flash in her eyes as she looked him quickly up and down, taking in his dirty jeans, hands covered in oil and his long sleeved thin blue sweater which he knew fit him pretty well. Part of the reason he had worn it.
“Hey.” a familiar voice said, and they both looked up to see Cullen as he stood in the entrance.
“Hey.” Frank frowned “What’s…” “I got some news, and I wanted to give it to you in person.”
“I’ll er, give you a moment.” Fliss offered, and she went to leave but Frank caught her elbow gently.
“No, stay, please.”
She looked at him for a second and nodded as Frank turned his attention to Cullen.
“What is it Greg.”
“Highsmith called. They want to cut a deal.”
“What kind of deal?”
Cullen took a breath. “A foster family.”
“No way.” Frank dismissed the notion straight up and Greg continued to try and win him round, informing him that they could cherry pick and that it would be mutually approved and he’d already found a family in Tampa, which was what he had been working on all day.
“She’ll attend the Oaks, you and Evelyn will get visitation right, and then, when she’s twelve, you can go back into court and Mary can decide where, and with who, she wants to live.”
“You’re supposed to be on my team.” Frank cut his friend off, glaring at him “Why are you bringing me this deal?
“Other than I'm required to by law?” Greg looked back at him, and then suddenly Frank understood.
“You like this deal.” he stated and Greg nodded.
“I love this deal.”
“They think they're gonna lose.” Frank leaned on the work-desk in front of him, looking at Cullen.
“Yeah. They do.”
“You think we're gonna lose.”
“Yes.” Greg replied honestly. “I do, Frank.”
Frank looked down, swallowing before he turned to his friend who sighed.
“I gotta go put my kids to bed. I'll do whatever you want me to do. But, if we leave this up to the judge, Nicholls, he's old school, Frank. Does he like your mother? No. Does he like her income? Does he like her health plan? Does he like her home? You better believe it.”
Frank looked down again, shaking his head, unable to do anything else.
“I've been in his courtroom. A hundred times. And if it's a coin toss...Look at me.”
Frank turned to Greg, his arms still leaning on the top, muscles straining as he grasped at a wrench in front of him in frustration.
“If it's a coin toss, that old boy is going to side with the money.” Greg said gently “So, do me a favour, Frank. Just meet the family. See how it feels. It's all I ask.” With that he took a deep breath. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later. Goodnight Fliss.”
“Night.” she replied, watching him leave.
There was a pause before Frank picked up the wrench in his hand and threw it hard against the wall at the opposite side of the garage, before he stood up tall and turned to Fliss who was watching him, her face contorted in sympathy and sadness.
“I don’t know what to do.” He looked at her, and every single emotion he had been holding back cascaded over him in a wave as he felt utterly and hopelessly overwhelmed. He couldn’t stop the tears brimming in his eyes and he bowed his head, once more leaning on the desk. He felt a warm pair of hands gently on his arm, nudging him to turn slightly and he did so to look at Fliss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. He pressed his face into the crook of her shoulder, his tears falling onto her soft skin as she smoothed a hand through his hair, gently soothing him.
“Sorry.” he mumbled after a moment pulling back.
She placed her hands on his face, wiping his tears with her thumbs, her own filling her eyes. “Don’t ever apologise to me for being upset, Frankie.”
He let out a soft, watery laugh as he dropped his forehead to hers, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath, composing himself.
“You now no one’s called me Frankie since I was a little kid” he smiled.
“Well it suits you.” she pulled away slightly. “You good?” He nodded, moving back out of her arms. “Do you think I should go?” he asked “Meet this family?”
“Frank, I can’t answer that.” “What would you do?”
“I honestly don’t know.” she shook her head. “I suppose there’s no harm in meeting them. But you have to be sure this is what is right for Mary. I do know one thing though, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there all the way. I told you, I was here for the road trip, no matter how bumpy it gets.”
He nodded, taking a deep breath. He gently took her hand and raised it to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles. “Thankyou.”
**** Chapter 9
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starwarsforcestuff · 4 years
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10 for the star wars asks!!!
Thanks for the question! Question 10 is, “do you think the Jedi were right or wrong?”
Simply put, I do think they were right. Do I think they were perfect? No. Am I in the minority of people who believe this? I feel like it. I did a quick google search of that question to see what kind of responses are already out there in the world and the majority of results were overwhelmingly not in favor of the Jedi, even going as far as calling them the Saga’s true villains. Another reason I googled the question was that this is an extremely vague question, in what aspect are we talking about right and wrong. I will still try to break it down as specifically as possible. Go ahead and respond with more specific questions if you so choose!
Reason 1
One reason I wholly believe the Jedi are right and good is a quote from Master & Apprentice by Claudia Gray.
“It matters which side we choose. Even if there will never be more light than darkness. Even if there can be no more joy in the galaxy than there is pain. For every action we undertake, for every word we speak, for every life we touch—it matters. I don’t turn toward the light because it means someday I’ll ‘win’ some sort of cosmic game. I turn toward it because it is the light.”- Qui-Gon Jinn
The Force will always create events that balance each other out and if we all remember that iconic Freddie Prinze Jr rant he backs that up. If anyone hasn’t seen that rant here is Star Wars Theory’s reaction to it. You don’t have to watch his commentary I just couldn’t find an undoctored version and Star Wars Theory bleeps out the many many F-bombs Prinze drops. 
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“Luke’s skill doesn’t dictate whether he wins or loses. The Emperor doesn’t dictate whether he wins or loses. The Force dictates who wins or loses based on balance...[On the seduction of Anakin Skywalker] If the Emperor was the smartest dude in the universe and knows that the Force dictates this if he kills who he sees as a rival, Anakin, then he knows the Force is just going to f****** correct that. Because The Emperor knows this. These are George Lucas’ words, not mine...So the Emperor knows that. Instead of killing Anakin, what does he do? he seduces Anakin. To double the strength of the Dark Side. So what does the force do? It balances us. How? It gives us twins. Luke and Leia. Two and f****** two. Balance.” 
While it was lengthy, somewhat redundant, and had multiple f-bombs, Prinze Jr arguments make a clear point. If the force will always course-correct itself it begs the question of why even choose? If every good action will always be met with an action of mal intention why does it matter? This is the very question Qui-Gon answers in that quote. What is the answer? Because even if doing good gets you nowhere you are still doing good. Good is good. Turn to the light because it is the light. I like to believe every Jedi had this mentality but considering Qui-Gon was speaking to another Jedi I can’t say that every Jedi believed this. Regardless, we do know that with this statement and Freddie Prinze Jr’s comments that the Jedi are supposed to be proponents of the light side. That is reason number 1, and probably the biggest reason I support the Jedi.
Reason two  
Moral absolutism. There is the Light side and the Dark side. That is it. There is no in-between, a Jedi is either good or bad in which case they become a Sith. In Prinze Jr’s interview, he states, “There’s no such thing as a gray Jedi...There’s no gray! That’s pretend fan-fiction s***, which is cool but don’t try to canonize it because it doesn’t work and I’m never gonna buy it.” There are those, like Qui-Gon, who may interpret the code more loosely, but he is still a Jedi, not a “grey Jedi.” 
In contrast to the Jedi though, in an interview with Alexander Freed, author of Alphabet Squadron, Battlefront: Twilight Company, and Rogue One, states that while you do have people like the Jedi and The Emperor, there are plenty of people in the Star Wars universe that lead mundane lives not really fighting one way or the other. 
“It is a setting that has an absolute good and absolute evil...Yeah there is no moral ambiguity to Palpatine. Palpatine is a creature of pure darkness.” 
In this interview, he mentions that the characters of Alphabet Squadron need to decide where their moral compass lies when they do live somewhere in the middle. It almost seems contradictory though because I would argue that if you are basing this argument on the metaphor of a compass, everyone who fights for the light would be good and everyone who fights for the dark side is bad, there would be no in-between like a spectrum where you would have “grey” areas. That also tarnishes the reputation of defectors like Yrica Quell, Finn, Archex (From Phasma and Black Spire), Iden Versio, Del Meeko, Jannah and the rest of company 77 who defected from the First Order or The Empire in Quell’s case. Using the spectrum argument, the fact that they even belonged to the dark side would tarnish them, give them “negative points” and never fully allow them to be absolutely good. They will always be held back by their past.
Here is the full Star Wars Show and interview.
youtube
The interview starts at 3:05 and ends at 6:32. 
This is how we know The Empire was bad, The Imperials and the Sith are bad, The First Order was bad. They use the dark side and do unspeakable acts of horror even after the death of The Emperor with things like Operation Cinder. This is also how we know the Jedi are good and right. The Jedi fight against the dark side, they stand for truth and justice and peace. They may work outside the law, but I don’t see people having a problem with that when it comes to Batman or Superman or Captain America. The question though becomes do the means justify the end? I can’t answer that question because I think it should be situationally based i.e the destruction of the Death Star. The destruction killed thousands and thousands of people, but it could kill hundreds of millions more if not stopped. We know there was no other way, therefore I would argue that the means justified the end. 
Reason 3
At the end of the day, Star Wars is a children’s story. It is a children’s story based on Greek Mythology and archetypes. In those stories, it is clear who is good and right and who is bad and wrong. We are the ones who have contorted this basic story to the point where we have questions like this. Am I mad that we have? Not in the slightest! discussing and analyzing works are really fun to do, but it is my belief that we as a fanbase have taken it too far that we ask questions like are the Jedi right or wrong, was the Empire actually good, are the rebels justified or were they just terrorists? 
Not to deflect or belittle or suppress this question, but we know the Jedi are right because George Lucas says so. While I know a big criticism about my overall argument is “you can’t say the Jedi are right because they fight for the light and the Sith and the dark side are wrong,” all I have to ask is, if you have to justify genocide to prove your point (Order 66 and Operation Cinder) why in the world should I believe otherwise.
I am VERY open to FRIENDLY discussions about this. I even encourage more specific questions about the Jedi for better more in-depth answers if anyone is interested. Also, sorry I kind of rant in the middle about characters in general.
@fandom4fandom thank you very much for your ask! I hope you have a great day! May the Force Be With You!   
Sidebar: I just finished Alphabet Squadron and I enjoyed it. I love reading about things that happen between the fall of The Empire and the rise of The New Republic and this gave me that. Battlefront II was really cool for me because that was my introduction to Operation Cinder and you had to play through it and Alphabet Squadron is a direct continuation of the wreckage and result of Operation Cinder.
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seenashwrite · 4 years
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Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3
It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 
If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 
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We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.
Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  
This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 
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More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  
Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  
This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 
Motherbitch, this is stupid.
I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.
Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 
I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 
-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  
Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 
We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 
I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 
So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  
Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 
We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 
"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug
[sighs]
Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.
IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN
A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.
Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 
Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 
Aaaaand, we're back!
Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.
[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.
But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:
The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop
The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.
Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 
WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 
DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 
Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 
Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 
Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 
YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 
So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.
See you next week.
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Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)
Episode 2
Episode 1
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FILM-REVIEW #3: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
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--- While it is difficult for Star Wars-fans to find something they completely agree on these days, there's still a couple of things that are nearly universally agreed on: Jar Jar Binks being a complete torment and Star Wars - Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back being the very best part of the series.
The basic story is as follows: "It's been a couple of years since the destruction of the Deathstar and the conflicts between the rebel alliance and the evil empire continues. Having been separated from his friends after a battle, Luke Skywalker looks up the mysterious and mighty Yoda, the jedimaster that taught Obi-wan Kenobi, in order to complete his training and become a bonafide jediknight. In the meantime, Han Solo, Leia Organa and the rest of his friends flee from Darth Vader, who is obsessed with finding Luke and turning him to the dark side of the force."
I wasn't overly fond of A New Hope (1977) upon re-watching, and while I doubt that it by itself could have become much more than a summer-hit, I can on the other hand understand how such a big thing could come out of the same concept with the help of it's immediate sequel. I am convinced that this is the movie that nailed Star Wars onto the wall of cinematic history. How? Well, cause everything in this episode is either an improvement or development of what was introduced in the previous one.
Something is always happening that brings the central plot further, but it still takes plenty of time to let us breathe the atmosphere and allow characters to simply be themselves. There are several little sideplots who rather than becoming distracting helps to lube up the cogwheels of the story. Few films can really give off the feeling of having a litte bit of everything in it and still feel like one and the same movie, in the same vein in which One flew over the Cuckoo's nest (1975) or The Shawshank Redemption (1994). Even less can brag about that within fantasy or science-fiction. But in this movie there is action, adventure, drama, humor and romance. It visits many genres without feeling uneven.
Each of the main characters has grown since last time we saw them or is going through some kind of new development here: Han Solo has gone from being a self-interested smuggler to a respected warpilot, Leia starts to let her walls down in Solo's company and Luke's immature side gets a serious beating as he faces both physical and spiritual tests. Sidecharacters such as the droids and Chewbacca serves a purposes and are really quite funny here. New characters such as Yoda, Lando Calrissian and emperor Palpatine leave strong impressions, and so does even some small characters. I mean on paper, the iconic bountyhunter Boba Fett doesn't really do much here. He has like four lines in the movie, one job to do in the plot and otherwise mostly stand around looking cool. Despite this, the character exploded with popularity after the movie, without people knowing anything about his background or even much about his personlity. A movie has to do something right if a character like that leads to the creation of a whole cult-following dedicated to him!
One of the biggest strenghts thoughout of the movie is Darth Vader. While he had a strong presence in the first film, in here he is a constant and far greater threath. With mostly small sidevillains around him this time, he more or less rules every scene he's in with an ironfist. I mean, this dude literally strangles any underperformning suborbinate to death, which not only shows us how merciless he is, but also works as a kind of dark running gag. How can anyone dislike a character that intense?
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Something I really appreciate is also how the movie explores more of it's own lore without explaining it to death. Many things are actually kept a mystery. A prime example of this is when Yoda explains the mysterious FORCE. Among other things we find out that there's two sides of it: the light, which stands for balance and justice, and the dark, which stands for anger and evil. But despite this, the overall content of the movie signifies that it's not a simple question of good and evil, but that there is a grey zone which prevents characters from being completely painted in pictures of black and white, as best illustrated by one of the best and most quoted plot-twists in cinematic history.
And, while the practical special effects in the last movie were impressive for the time, the majority of the effects in here looks impressive to this day. We get to see giant robots, space chases and puppetwork which today can keep even paces (and sometimes even outdo) modern CGI when it comes to being convincing. Sure, there's a little polish here and there on account of the Special Edition-changes, but out of the three films, this is the one where they work the best. Sure, the added computer graphics has some of that early 2000s-quality which looks way too clean and two-dimensional to feel real. But otherwise it does help in creating richer environments, especially when it comes to Cloud City, where one can now see more of the city and is therefor less claustrophobic and grey than in the theatrical version.
Summing up, The Empire Strikes Back remains, according to this moviegoes and amateur-reviewer, the Star Wars-movie in the original trilogy which has aged the best, but also the one which so far has kept its position as the best movie in the franchise. While some like to hold all three up to a golden standard, I think that this is the only one who has the right to be considered one of the best fantasy-films and sequels ever made. Does it make the others trash? Not at all (to be honest, this one isn't even my personal favorite), but in the same way that there is always a number two and three, there has to be one that comes first, and this one has really earned it's number one spot.
9 out of 10, without a doubt.
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