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#connor tatw
anonymous-eggy · 1 year
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✨Connor and Nicky Incorrect quotes Pt. 3✨
because i need to ease myself back into creating bc APPARENTLY trying to jump straight back in produces nothing. here's the lovely generator used!
Chris: I lost Connor.
Nicky: How did you LOSE Connor?!
Chris: To be fair, they are very small.
Chris: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, Nicky is walking in this room.
Connor: *wheezes in "older than Nicky"*
Chris: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Connor: We're chopsticks!
Chris: Well... that's cute!
Chris: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Nicky: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
Nicky, in a high voice, holding Barbie: Hey, Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Connor, in a deep voice, holding Ken: Nonsense, Barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.
Chris: What the fuck are you guys doing?
Nicky: Playing systemic oppression.
Chris: So, what's it like living with Connor?
Nicky: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."
Chris: ...
Nicky: I love them so much.
Nicky: I haven't seen Chris and Connor for fifteen minutes now.
*Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Chris and Connor running after it in a panic. Nicky doesn't look outside at all.*
Nicky: That probably means they're getting into trouble.
Nicky: Guess what number I’m thinking of.
Chris: 420?
Nicky: No, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Connor: 69.
Nicky: Yeah it was 69.
(the New York ending)
Connor: What do I get?
Nicky: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Connor: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Nicky: It won't be you.
Connor: I'll get my coat.
(Chris made an excess of pasta and asked Nicky and Connor for advice)
Nicky: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container.
Connor: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.
(Connor neglected to tell Nicky that too much caffeine makes his heartrate explode and almost fainted)
Nicky: Connor is restricted to decaf for the rest of this adventure.
Connor, peeling a banana: May I take your jacket, sir? Hahahaha.
Nicky: Do you think other people can’t hear you?
Nicky: Connor is playing hard to get.
Nicky: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Nicky: What is wrong with you?
Connor: Loaded question. Elaborate.
Nicky: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie.
Connor: Ooh, can we get some actual pie?
Nicky: I like the way you think.
(Hollywood ending)
Nicky, contemplating real hard with the actors:... i feel like doing something stupid
Connor, without missing a beat and quickly looking up from the script he's reading: Im stupid!
Ralph: What’s up with Connor? They’ve been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Chris: They're just a little overwhelmed.
Ralph: Why?
Chris: Nicky smiled at them.
Connor: This food is too hot... I cant eat it.
Nicky: You’re very hot, and I still eat you.
Everyone at the table: *silence*
Chris: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!
Ralph: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!
Nicky, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Chris, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Connor, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you!
Ralph, trembling: What are we playing?!
Nicky: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.
Chris: Connor is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Nicky.
Connor: I feel like Nicky is the more responsible one of us two though.
Nicky: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Connor: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other’s hands so the other doesn’t fall off.
Connor: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?
Chris: *crouches down*
Ralph: *kneels down*
Nicky: *sits on the floor*
Connor:
Connor: I hate all of you.
Chris: What do you want then?
Ralph: Er… something work related.
Chris: What department is this?
Ralph: Sorry?
Chris: Well, if it’s work related you’d obviously know what department this is. What department is this?
Ralph: *looks at Connor and Nicky* Some sort of homosexual department?
Connor: I told Chris to grab snacks for everyone.
Ralph, looking through the options: Why did you grab fruit snacks? Are you five? Who even likes Fruit Snacks?
*Connor, Chris, and Nicky raise their hands*
(Connor would probably end up in a hospital if this actually happened)
Nicky: Today at 7 am, Connor poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.
Chris: I watched Connor brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm.
Ralph: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.
Connor: Your smile? It makes my day.
Nicky: Your happiness? I live for that.
Ralph: A room? Get one.
Chris: Hotel? Trivago.
Ralph: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.
Chris: I sleep with a knife.
Connor: Both of you are pathetic.
Ralph: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?
Connor: Nicky.
Ralph: You have friends and I envy that.
Nicky: You're welcome to share my friends.
Ralph: *looks at Connor and Chris*
Ralph: I don't want those.
Connor: My gender is in a constant state of flux.
Connor: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Connor: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...
Nicky: Connor told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.
(i like to think Connor often wakes Nicky up to tell him this stuff)
Connor: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.
Nicky: Go the fuck to sleep Connor.
Connor: Bro-
Nicky: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Nicky: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??
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Dear tumblr, please don't smack me idk what your rules are and I don't have the attention span or care to check.
decided to try new things and practice backgrounds 😂
ever wanted to see Connor in lingerie? here you go:
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juan-nonetheway · 3 years
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It's random but i just finished dbh and tatw in 3 days straight. Excuse me but--
Mafioso: become human.
Nicky: Hello, my name is Nicky. I'm the Android sent by CyberMafia.
I- seriously, how did you even finished Dbh that fast, anon? :').
Now, the question is, anon, what is our mafia android role in the.. investigation?. Meanwhile Connor and Hank are the detectives here, so, i take it MC and Nicky will be partner in crime, yeah?.
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anonymous-eggy · 9 months
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connor would do this to nicky
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anonymous-eggy · 5 months
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tomorrow is our lord and savior Nicky Valentino's birthday
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anonymous-eggy · 6 months
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if connor and nicky were to get a (mostly) purebred dog, it would be a borzoi and/or an italian greyhound.
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anonymous-eggy · 2 years
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Woa Woa Woa,,,
What if Nicky was a knight :0
And mc was like a castle servant (to add drama ofc)
Imagine a medieval au that’d be so cool
STOP THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I LOVE IT
i feel like Ralph in this au would just be constantly keeping Nicky from being caught with mc 💀 (ofc before he betrays somehow)
the idea of Nicky being a high ranking knight who falls for the new servant (mc) is so cute i love it 😩
(i drew a lazy lil inspired comic with connor and nicky in this au... and ralph)
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"Nicholas... QUIT MAKING OUT WITH THE SERVANT IN THE STORAGE CLOSET"
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anonymous-eggy · 2 years
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In case I never do these digitally, here you go! Have a Valentines Nicky and Connor
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(Yes, Nicky has a heart shaped boob window)
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anonymous-eggy · 2 years
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Here's the catboy Connor that's been sitting in my procreate for a while. i cleaned it up a bit bc it was messy 💀
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anonymous-eggy · 2 years
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They say "don't bite the hand that feeds you"
Catboy Connor says "bite the hand that feeds you. its funny."
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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Connor and Chris are pretty much best friends and one party... they get a little drunk while playing a spelling game... which results in them both losing their minds a little
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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☆Here's a bunch of hilarious (and pretty accurate) incorrect Connor and Nicky quotes from here!☆
Connor: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights?! You're supposed to say that "I have the right to remain silent"! NOBODY SAID I HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Nicky: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.
Nicky: Damn, the power went out.
Connor: Don't worry, I got this.
Connor: *stomps feet*
Nicky: What-?
Connor: *sketchers light up*
Connor: Fight me!
Nicky, standing behind him holding a knife: *mouths* do not
Connor: that's the longest worm I've ever seen.
Nicky: that's a snake.
Connor: Change is inedible.
Nicky: don't you mean inevitable?
Connor, spitting out a bunch of pennies: no i really didn't.
Connor: how do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
Nicky: Connor, my dearest love, it's four o'clock in the morning.
Connor: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?
Connor: *Makes Nicky a cup of tea and puts salt in it*
Nicky: *sips tea*
Connor:
Nicky: *finishes tea*
Connor: didn't it taste bad?
Nicky: yeah, but i didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all.
Connor, tearing up: oh, okay.
Nicky: here's the cold medicine you asked for
Nicky: *dumps three shopping bags of wine on the counter*
Connor: ... thanks
Nicky: i think i need a hug.
Connor: good thing I'm hug shaped!
*45 minutes later*
Nicky: You... you can let go now
Connor: No, I absolutely cannot.
Connor: honk.
Nicky: what?
Connor: HONK.
Nicky: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PEICE OF SHIT?????
Nicky: When do you usually sleep?
Connor: whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods
Nicky: let me see what you have
Connor: A KNIFE
Nicky: NO
Connor: I wasn't that drunk.
Nicky: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Connor: BECAUSE YOU ARE!
Nicky: Is something burning?
Connor, leaning seductively against the counter: Just my desire for you.
Nicky: Connor, the toaster is on fire.
Connor: I never tell people I'm gay right off the bat. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm married to a man, right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.
Nicky:
Nicky: I love you.
Connor, trying to brag about how they're technically 6 months older: When I was your age-
Nicky, mocking Connor: When I was your height.
Connor:
Connor: listen here, you little shit.
Nicky: being half-asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.
Connor: Unless you're home alone.
Nicky: Connor, what are you doing?
Connor: *shaking a cat shaped piggy bank* I'm just trying to figure out how much change I have inside.
Nicky: You could always take it out and count it.
Connor: Where's the fun in that?
Connor: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value, other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Nicky: I wrote you a poem.
Connor, already crying: you did?
Nicky: My goal is not to be the best, but to inspire someone enough to one day surpass me.
Connor: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT EVERYTIME YOU BEAT ME AT CONNECT FOUR!
Nicky: did you get the eggs like I asked?
Connor: even better!
Nicky: What did you-
Connor: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.
Nicky: I can't imagine what Connor is planning. but I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.
Bonus Pirate au incorrect quote (of which is kind of a spoiler, but it's too funny and accurate to not put in)-
Nicky: You know you've got it made when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Connor: Those are wanted posters!!!
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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nothing like getting misgendered at your wedding ✌️😅 might as well laugh the mistake off with a quick funny doodle
@fictifgames please proofread through using all of the pronoun options to avoid misgendering your reader 😂😂😂
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anonymous-eggy · 2 years
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Modern au Connor would send videos like this to Nicky all the time
youtube
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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does connor have a daddy kink
this is a hellsite
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anonymous-eggy · 3 years
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He'll burn your shoes
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