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#connan gray
dactylicreveries · 4 months
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I heard you're growing flowers in your garden.
Glad to know that you finally understood
how to take care of violets
Without tearing them apart.
For it being a month already,
I am slowly forgetting your voice, your touch, your eyes
And every beautiful thing about you
Including your bitter sweet lies.
I can't recall your face
Your memories are blurring out
Still here I am standing in the Dark
Repeatedly cleaving and bleeding my old wounds
It's been one year already.
How I left my scarf in your place deliberately,
Wishing you would come back in my life to return it
You didn't and I realise winter will be bitter this year
-dactylicreveries //
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chalamet-hl · 10 months
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🤍
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itsthebeckyzone · 2 years
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DON'T TOUCH ME IM LISTENING TO SUPERACHE
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endlessendymion · 11 months
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Stop tryna keep us alive You can't force the stars to align When they've already died As much as it seems like you own my heart It's astronomy, we're two worlds apart
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queenvitch · 2 months
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Wish I Were His Dream
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When the reader is hopelessly in love with Vinsmoke Sanji, while he falls in love with Nami.
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This was written at like 3am so it might sound pretty stupid, but this fic is based on Connan Grays Heather and I took a lil inspiration from Saeran in Mystic Messenger!~
Enjoy~
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I will become the world's greatest journalist who writes honestly about the events between the government and pirates. That's that. There's nothing else to it. That is the goal I hold close to my heart since it is the only goal that matter for me. What other dream could I chase after if not that?
Since I joined the Strawhats, I have not wished to do anything except chase after my dream and help my friends on their journey to reach their dreams. I often offer helping out with the smallest things if it means their happiness is rewarded; helping Robin water her flowers, testing out Usopp's new gadgets, fixing up Luffy’s torn clothes… I always wish for their happiness since I have grown quite attached to them- I never intend to have my dreams clash with theirs. If it ever did...why would I travel alongside them? Would I not be a nuisance who makes their progress backtrack? Yes, I would be a bother to them. However, since I do not have any dreams that clash with the Strawhats, I will continue traveling the seas with them. Hopefully our family- that has been brought together despite the odds of us getting along- stick together. That has become one of my other dreams that reside in my heart despite our short history together.
Looking over the pages of my journal, I re-read what I had written in the past up until today. Laughing at myself silently I lifted the cup of black coffee that sat near my journal and took a slow sip, all while staring at the man in front silently whisking away at something that will most definitely become a marvelous delicacy for us rowdy pirates to have the pleasure of eating later on today.
His back faced me, with his broad shoulders casting a shadow from the light emitting through the window in front of him. His soft blonde locks swayed every time a breeze entered the small kitchen. The striped blue button up that he wore would stretch and pull with the slightest movement of his arms, which exhibited the strong lean muscles he had underneath his clothes. The place I sat at made him seem like an angel. To be fair, he honestly is not far from being a real one. The man who was now at the fridge- searching for some unknown ingredient to me- had started humming a soft tune to himself. I listened earnestly attempting to puzzle together what song had managed to get stuck in his head. Identifying the song to be the one played the night before by Brook- our crew's most favorite song yet- I closed my eyes and let a very small smile form as I enjoyed listening to the man's small performance.
Memories about a certain moment when I had discovered one more dream of mine flowed through my head; The moment when I discovered how dear our crew's chef is.
The moment I discovered that the chef was such a sweet person that I wished to keep him happy above my own happiness. The moment when I discovered that I wished to keep him beside me and I at his side at all times. That moment when I discovered I love the chef.
I love Sanji.
The thought of loving Sanji full heartedly made my chest flutter and my cheeks burn.
I remember that moment so clearly. It was when I had collapsed from exhaustion in the bath room one day. He had been searching for me all over the ship, he had a sundae prepared for all the crew but preferred to deliver the desserts to the ladies out of courtesy. I was undressed with a towel and ready to bathe to replenish my strength, but my body gave out when I turned on the faucet. I had fallen face first onto the tile floor. When I awoke, I was informed of my overworked body giving out and how I was found by Chopper.
He told me Sanji carried me down from the bath to his office. I found myself wearing an oversized sweater instead of clothes, although it was embarrassing that the perverted chef saw me in such a state it was also really respectful of him to cover me up with his own clothes. Even if such decency was expected out of everyone, it made me realize that the man was not such a crook and actually took it upon himself to behave in such a way with no one having to supervise him.
After that collapse in the bath room, I had a fever for a week. Sanji stayed by my side when he was not preparing food. He served me the most nutritious soups, changed my towel out often, checked on my temperature, and called Chopper over with paranoia that I had not improved. He had no reason to do any of this, but he did. He may have done it out of sympathy since he had seen me in the nude, however I began seeing him in a different light since then.
Opening my eyes, I looked at the chef once more then turned back to my journal and coffee. I flipped to a page where I had analyzed him when I had been exposed to him behaving differently. I realized my feelings for the man not long after writing this excerpt. I now question my foolishness to look into him more.
Although I once knew Sanji to be simply a loyal comrade, I have recently pondered the complexity of his character and see him entirely anew.
Sanji is a passionate and sympathetic man. He believes that everyone should have the decency to finish their meal out of respect for those who do not receive a meal. He takes initiative to help those who are in need of a hand no matter if it is a starving crook of a pirate or a lonesome head searching for his body. He dreams of a magical place named the All Blue, and becomes giddy whenever he revisits in his heart his cherished goal.
But his most prominent trait is the fact that he is known to be a womanizer. A ladies man. A flirt. A pervert.
I believe that his perverted personality stemmed from his admiration of women, from seeing women to be superior and worshipped for everything. Maybe he cherished the abilities of women to bring and sustain a new life...maybe he cherished the soft kindness that most women carry with them...maybe he cherished the strong women who ignored sex stereotypes...I believe that whatever he admired- or better yet- everything he admired on women led for him to simply love everything about them. He gushes over a female's body, mind, and soul.
When I look at him as a whole, I see a chivalrous kind-hearted man.
Oh, what a fool I was.
I looked at the man who had been moving around the kitchen. I accidentally sang a part of the song as I saw him practically dancing in the middle of the kitchen. He paused, and turned over to me.
“Oh…” I sat up straight upon realizing I interrupted his moment to himself. “Sorry…” I offered an apologetic grin up at him as I sank into my seat about to return to my journal and coffee.
“(name)-chan...” His face turned red slowly then he started wiggle dancing while spouting our compliments on how cute and shy I am.
“You know you can sing for me if you would like, (name)-chan?” Hearts formed in his eyes as he thought of the possibility of me singing for him. I laughed and declined his offer.
“I’m sorry... I didn’t realize I was caught up in your humming. You can get back to it, I just want to review my journal right now…” He stopped gushing over me and gave me a confused expression.
“Why are you sorry?” cheekily grinning at him, I tilt my head to the side without answering him.
I downed the rest of my coffee and washed and placed it away. I walked back to the journal sitting on the table, with Sanji continuously staring at my movements. Ignoring him until he stopped, I flipped through my pages in an attempt to distract myself from the blonde’s stares. When he returned to cooking, I felt many glances shot in my direction.
The door to the kitchen was swung open all of a sudden. In walked the red haired Nami, with a newspaper in one hand and a pen in another. She had barely entered the proximity, but Sanji had automatically offered to serve her a cup of hot coffee and get her a snack if she wished. Accepting the offer, she sat across from me and immediately started reading today's news.
Looking down at my journal scribbled with thoughts of Sanji and sketches of him from the backside, I dejectedly smiled. He didn’t offer me anything when I walked in earlier. I made and served my own cup of coffee. I looked up at the navigator sitting across from me and admired her beauty. I glanced at the chef who stared at her longingly. Smiling to myself in mockery, I stood up and left the room.
Finding myself in the aquarium alone. I followed the fishes dancing in the water. They made me ponder what Sanji’s All Blue would be like.
His dream… Surely he must have another desire like I do. What if his dream is to be with Nami?
My dreams conclude of being the best journalist the world has seen, keeping my family happy, and for Sanji to be by my side and I to his.
This is why my younger self was so foolish.
My dreams clash with one of my crew's dreams now…
I told myself that if that ever happened, I should leave to not burden the Strawhats… But I really don’t want to… Am I selfish for wanting to stay by his side despite him not wanting me?
I really do adore her… She’s such a perfect girl that I would not question anyone falling for her.
Nami is lucky.
She is beautiful, strong, smart, kind, and overall attractive to all. She has many emotional scars and deals with them so admirably...She somehow can become stronger from everything that puts her down. I look up to her. I wish I could be just like her.
I confess that she beats me in everything… I’m not as pretty. Or smart. Or strong. Or kind… But I still envy her…
After continuously hiding myself behind laughter and smiles to the crew for months on end, Sanji began speaking with me more often.
Of course I relished in his attention whenever he would offer it to me, but his thoughts and conversations with me always returned to the same topic. Nami, our navigator.
Everytime he would mention another woman in my presence, my heart painfully throbs. Why can't I just get over it…?
I should be happy for them both.
Yes, I cherish them both but when I am around either one of them my head spins like crazy from the stress of having to put up a front of a happy crewmate. I continuously will ignore this sensation though. I don’t want to ruin their chances with each other… I don’t want to lose either one of them…
I have noticed Sanji flirting and swooning over other females less and less every day. His feelings for her are growing so tremendously that his playboy behavior has dwindled into simply a chivalrous behavior- a respectable behavior that remains loyal to a certain person.
Since he comes to me for emotional support in pursuing Nami, I can feel that one day he will ask her straight up to be with him… I know him… He will definitely make it a romantic and extravagant event. I expect for many flower petals, a fancy dinner, a clean suit, and maybe a gold ring or necklace as a gift. He is simply such a romantic… Of course he will make it a big ordeal. That’s just who he is. I love him so much… I wish that instead of her, it was me who he is pursuing…
I was in the Library reading when Sanji came in for me. I closed the book and gave him my full attention. He looked serious, and I wondered if it was about his love ordeal.
“I need help…” He gulped and stepped closer to me. “(name)-chan, please, help me with your womanly opinions! I plan to ask her to be mine, but I want to make it perfect!”
Staring at him with my mouth slightly agape, I looked down and responded in a quiet voice. “Any ideas?” I then gave him a gummy smile with my eyes closed. He mirrored my expression and sat down next to me.
Turns out my guess earlier was correct. He wanted to have me help choose the gift and flowers to go with his Italian themed dinner.
He is so cliche.
The romantic gestures are so guessable.
But I am not complaining. What position am I in to even complain? I’m desperate for the slightest amount of attention from him.
Tomorrow night. That is when Sanji will attempt to woo Nami.
While we were out shopping today, we chose a golden heart lock necklace with N+S engraved in the heart. It was really pretty, and we found a painter who was able to draw them together according to their wanted posters. It turned out nicely…
The flowers chosen were red rose petals to be strewn about and center pieces of Peonies. I picked up a bouquet of blue roses for myself, but Sanji was quick to include it with his order.
It's almost laughable how terribly friend-zoned I am. Sanji, the one I cannot have, bought me blue roses as a gift of thanks for helping with his love interest pursuit…
Sanji ran to me in my bedroom in his ice suit. He looked amazingly handsome. His white vest sat on top of a white button up, the colors contrast with his red tie making it the main appeal to the outfit. His long legs covered in white strode to me so quickly that I had no other choice but to snap out of my trance.
“Where is your coat?” I stood up to meet him halfway across my room.
“The button popped off…(name)-chan, can you please fix it? The dinner starts in fifteen minutes!” He held the coat that was hidden behind his back out to me. I noticed the red rose that was supposed to sit on his pectoral was in his other hand. I reached out to grab the rose out of his hand and place it in the water among my blue roses.
The sight of the roses made me squint in heart break.
Unlike me, Nami is being gifted red roses and peonies…
“Let me grab some thread and needle.” Leaving him standing near my desk while I searched for the items needed, I ignored the numbing pain in my chest.
“Thank you (name)-chan!!” I smiled gently at him.
Nami has a kinder smile than me...
“Of course, Sanji. Anything for you!” Tears almost slipped out of my eyes when I took his coat with eye contact. I started fixing his button as quickly and neatly that I could.
I bet Nami could do it better than me…
Once I finished, I put the coat on him and fixed his attire up. I fixed his hair and grabbed the rose from my bouquet.
Sanji quietly watched me as I got him ready to send him off.
She would most definitely send him off with more attentiveness...
I can’t even look him in the eye right now…
Just as I was about to place the rose on his chest, Sanji placed his hand in the area it was meant to go in. Looking up at him, I ask why he did that. He shot me a closed eye smile and spoke in such a natural caring tone.
“I just feel like your bouquet could use a red rose among the blue, (name)-chan!’ I blinked at him in confusion and despair.
Sensing my confusion and assuming my sadness was due to him not wanting the rose he explained himself further.
“I have more roses, so don't worry.” He took the rose out of my hand and kissed it.
With my eyebrows furrowing together, making myself seem concerned instead of sorrowful, I spoke in a voice that shook with each word.
Everything he tells me is a stab to my heart.
“Don’t you think that the bouquet should be blue, only? Or red only? Having them both makes the situation complex…” I looked back my the flowers sitting on my bedside.
“I think the beauty of a bouquet comes from having variable colors mixed together.” Once again, the grin he shot me made me want to cry.
“Don’t you think maybe Nami should receive all of the red roses? I mean, you did get them for her.”
“(Name)-chan, it’s just one rose. You have helped me so much, I could never repay you fully…” He lifted my chin to make me look at him rather than the flowers we spoke about.
The rose he kissed… He places it directly in front of my mouth allowing for the soft petals to tickle my lips.
After I took the red rose out of his hand, he gave me a chaste kiss to the forehead. He then stepped back.
“Thank you! For everything, (name)-chan! The dinner time is soon so must be on my way. Good night, (name)-chan!” He stepped out of my room and I could hear his foot steps disappearing as I stood frozen in my room.
Sliding to the floor I held the red rose in my hand so tenderly as I finally cried out the frustrating feeling of being rejected for so long.
Why?
Why did he have to kiss me?
Why would you give me this red rose?
Crawling to my bedside, I carefully placed the red rose amongst the blue roses. I curled into a ball on my bed, staring at the roses and wishing for the red one to never wither away.
Nami…
He belongs to Nami…
Nami belongs to him…
I wish I were Nami.
:')
Gosh, that hurt my heart...
~ Miss Queen
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why4anne · 2 years
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Memories
Pairing: Quinn Hughes x reader
Word count: 1.7k
Category: angst
Summary: After spending the summer of a lifetime with Quinn you have to end your relationship in order to keep your friendship with his younger brother.
Right person, wrong time. loosley based on Connan Gray’s song: Memories.
Warnings:
Requested: Yes/No
Note: Hi, so I’m reposting this because the last one didn’t show up under the hashtags. This story is not timeline acurate but I don’t think that matters, Enjoy!
Masterlist
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“Quinn stop, we can't do this anymore.” You said as you felt the brunette slip his arms around your waist and kiss your neck gently.
“Why not Y/N?” He whined into your neck.
“Quinn I’m serious, stop. What if Luke finds out?” You asked as you untangle yourself from his embrace.
“I don’t care.” He said with defiance and stepped back a step.
“Well I do. I don’t want to mess up my friendship with Luke. I won’t do it.” You declared and walked outside and onto the beach. You plopped down on the warm sand and in your mind all you could think of was how you’d already betrayed Luke.
Last summer you landed an internship in Vancouver. When you told the Hughes’ this Quinn so kindly offered you to stay with him because he recently moved into his own place and would be staying over the summer to get himself settled into his new apartment. You accepted, ofcourse, it was free housing, who would’ve said no to that? During the months that you stayed there a romance flared up between you and the oldest Hughes brother.
Everything was perfect. He was perfect, he still is. But the thought of Luke finding out scared the shit out of you. You’ve been best friends with Luke for ages. He is your rock, your light in the darkest of times and you know that he always felt second best to his brothers. Constantly being compared to them by the media. He would be heartbroken to know that the one thing that was soly his had now been taken by his older brother.
Speaking of the media, you know that it would be terrible for Quinns image if the media found out. You were 4 years younger than him and you know that the people on twitter would be having a field day if your relationship ever got out.
So you never told anyone. Not Luke, not your friends, not even your parents. Your relationship was a well kept secret. It was easy when it was only you and Quinn living in Vancouver. You didn’t even need to hide. You went out on dates to the ice cream parlor, went to the cinema or on a midnight drive while blasting music. During those months both you and Quinn fell hard for one another.
Those months were easy and probably the best months of your life. He was the perfect guy for you and you hope that you were the perfect girl for him. The love you shared was something out of a fairytale and you knew that it was one for the ages. The kind of love only a few lucky ones get to experience during their lifetime.
But all good things must come to an end. The day you flyed back to Michigan to attend UMich was the last time you would see Quinn for almost a year. Both of you agreed to end things and not to speak about your summer love to anybody. That was an easy task until you saw him again when you arrived at the lake house. Your heart ached for him and you would do anything to just be able to kiss him right then and there. You tried to stay away and so did he but both of you knew that it was impossible.
For weeks you and Quinn tried to sneak around everybody. Stolen kisses were shared, secret rendezvous were made but you knew that you had to put an end to it. You tried to get Quinn to stop loving you, you really did, but he would have none of it. Even when you tried setting him up with another girl. He refused to talk to her. The situation was impossible. How were you supposed to keep away from him if he kept coming back.  
“Y/N please listen to me.” Quinn begged as he followed you and sat down in the sand beside you. You looked into his gorgeous brown eyes like you had a million times before.
“Quinn, please don’t.” You tried with him but he wouldn’t let you finish.
“No! I don’t want to stop loving you. You are the one for me and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else.” He confessed wholeheartedly. You felt the tears start to form in your eyes.
“Quinn please. You know that last summer was a one time thing. I will be attending UMich for the next three years and you will continue tearing it up in Vancouver. However much I want to, we can never be again.” You reasoned with him.
“I don’t care. Y/N you are the love of my life. We can make it work. We don’t have to tell anyone if that's what you want. We can have a long distance relationship until you graduate and then you can move in with me in Vancouver. If you don’t find a job right away that’s okay. You wouldn’t have to work if you don’t want to or if you want to be closer to home I could ask for a trade. I would give you everything I have in a heartbeat. Please just don’t give up on this Y/N. Don’t give up on us.” He started crying quietly and so did you.
“Quinn, you know that wouldn’t work. Our families would find out eventually and so would the media. So please don’t ruin mine and Luke’s friendship for nothing.” You pleaded with him.
“So you think our summer together was nothing?” He was rightfully upset but you didn’t know what else to tell him, he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight.
“Please, Quinn. This is hard enough as it is. Don’t make it harder than it already is okay. I know that one day you’ll find an amazing girl who will steal your heart and whom you will love 10 times more than me.” You put your hand on his cheek and felt his tears hit your thumb.
“That’s not possible, baby. I don’t want anyone else. We can make it work, please, you’re the one I know. I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.” Quinn pleaded.
“I love you too, Quinn, so much.” You confessed to him. Even if you knew it wouldn’t help the situation at all. You felt the need to let him know that the feelings were not one sided. You loved this man with all your heart and if the circumstances were different, if you weren't best friends with his younger brother and if he wasn’t a professional hockey player with the whole world watching his every move: You would probably get married, have a couple of kids and then grow old together. You would have the whole white picket-fence dream. But instead you were trapped in this situation and all you could do was try to let him go even if it was hard.
“See, you love me too. Y/N, I promise that things will work out.” He took your hand in his and caressed your palm gently with his thumb. His touch felt so familiar and you just wanted to let all your walls down and let him love you, let yourself love him. But you knew you couldn’t.
“Quinn, as much as I want that it’s just make-believe. The we that was last summer can never exist again, honey.” You felt the nickname slip from your lips before you could stop it. It was what you called him all summer long and the simple word held so much meaning for both of you.
“I know that, baby. I just don’t want to let you go. You’re my favorite person in the whole world. I don’t know how I will move on from you.”  He seemed to finally give in and as much as it broke your heart you felt relief that he understood and didn’t argue more with you.
“I know it’s hard, honey. Which is why we can’t keep going back to each other from now on, okay? We can’t find an end to something that we keep beginning over and over again. From now on, I can’t be your friend or your lover, Quinn. As much as it kills me inside I can’t hold you back from falling in love with somebody else.” You knew your words were harsh but you really needed to put an end to this here and now.
“I understand.” He put both of his hands on your cheeks and met your gaze. Both of your eyes were red from crying and held so many emotions and so much love for one another. “You’ll always be my person, no matter what happens or who I meet. If you ever change your mind I’ll be there for you with open arms. You’ll always have a piece of my heart Y/N. Please take care of it.”
“I will, I promise.” You vowed to him, your voice cracking as you tried to speak through your tears. “If things were different..” You tried to explain.
“Shh… Don’t worry about it, baby. You don’t have to explain.” He cut you off. “I’m not mad at you, I could never be mad at you.”
Silence followed as both of you gazed into each other's eyes, trying to savor your last moments together as a couple before all you had left were the memories of better times.
“Can I kiss you one last time?” He asked quietly as if he was afraid of shattering the moment.
“Yes.” Was all you could say before his lips met yours in one final, heart shattering kiss. Your tears mixed as they ran down both of your cheeks. His hands were still on your cheeks and you felt him pushing your face closer to his. You pulled away for air and he did the same.
“I’ll always love you, Quinn.” You finally broke the silence.
“I’ll always love you too.” He said and you felt his soft hands leave your tear stained cheeks for the last time before he kissed your forehead and walked away from you. Leaving you heartbroken in the sand with only the memories of him left.
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cozy-ozwald · 1 year
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Happy connan gray Heather day everyone
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She’s trying
(Don’t mind how only the last 3 panels are the only good ones bfjdhdjjdjskdjjs 😭)
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keistance · 5 months
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PEOPLE I WANNA KNOW BETTER
tagged by @faithdeans !!!
LAST SONG? winner by connan gray
FAVOURITE COLOUR? blue
CURRENTLY WATCHING? the clone wars
LAST MOVIE? star wars episode vi: return of the jedi
SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? none. i like acidic flavours with maybe a hint of sweetness, mostly just acidic.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS? single
CURRENT OBSESSION? omniscient reader's viewpoint. apart from star wars that is. sw is always and forever in my head but again back to orv how to describe it. well imagine the most intricate rituals known to man, multiply it by 20, and add paradoxes and time travel and predestination to the mix. it has me by the throat. the gay subtext is a subtle as a punch to the nuts while setting you on fire. it's not even subtext i think the guys have just made denial their home
LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? most people only know meme
tagging: @accipitae @deathlnthevalley @jvnkless
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kermemet · 10 months
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Dimly lit stairwell
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Ever since I saw that one comment Abt bright connecting with The Exit by connan gray, I started to think(which is a very rare occasion).
Imagine this is brights mind.
What if after bright saw what's beyond the exit door where Fredrick is, they went inside instead. Where it's dark with dim lights shining the room. They stay there for a while and then slowly descend from the stairs and into a train station. Where there's the sound of a train but bright doesn't see the train or if it's even arriving. The loud sound reminds Bright of Fredrick because of the way the loud sound gets Bright of the dark part of their mind. But there's no train, untill bright stops blaming themself for what happened, the train that will send them away from the station won't be arriving.
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studyeonjena · 1 year
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Introducing Me!
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Hello! I am Bella, also known as studyeonjena, formerly known as westernstudies. I decided to redo this intro since I am revamping this page and also I have changed so much since the last time I posted this intro.  Without further ado, I present a small glimps into my life;
a mini bio:
My name is Bella, and I am 20 (an Aries) as well as a Junior in Uni. I am currently studying Behavioral Science and Social Science. I have a certificate in CompSci and Graphic/Web Design. I am very passionate about my beliefs on politics and am not afraid to argue with you if I think your ignorance will genuinely affect human lives. I get sick VERY easily and have the worst immune system in the world. I have had some bad problems with both physical and mental health over the last year and it has been very hard but I hope doing studyblr again will get me back on track with my studies. I love music, art, rain and coffee. Lastly, my personal outlook on life is that everyone has kindness in them, but it is not up to you to show those who treat you like shit the kindness they neglect to give you.
hobbies:
watching YouTube, reading, hiking and camping, discovering new music and singing along poorly, reading fanfiction, starting but never finishing art and craft projects, driving around, laying in bed and staring at the ceiling until I eventual tire myself out.
Connect with me:
 Personal Tumblr:  @camisadoclouds
Personal Instagram: @aestrieella
Personal Twitter: @bellasj0y
Personal Youtube: Star Girl
Spotify: Peaches
QUICK FAXS:
I am an INFP (Meditator)
Trying to be a Pescatarian
Astrology Lover (Aries, Leo, Aquarius)
Tree Hugger/ Earth Lover
Religion is complicated
HUGE Horror fan
Kpop fan
Spencer Reid Enthusiast
Not a Brony but I do enjoy My Little Pony
Trying to get into Adventure Time
Really wanna penpal
Former Emo Kid
GIANT Geek
ADVID British Joke Consumer
Chinese Meme Conisour
Language Learner
Trying to become a streamer
Terrible French speaker
interests:
I like to watch tons of different genres of youtube, these days I watch a lot of compilation videos and such
I’ve decided to take up reading again
Art
Video/Photo Editing and Taking
I prefer movies over tv shows, unless it is Asian Dramas
I enjoy baking
Dancing
Learning languages
favorites:
movies: Battle Royale, Midsommar, Crazy Rich Asians, Percy Jackson, As Above So Below
shows: A Business Proposal, Falling into Your Smiling, Full House (Korean), Crash Landing on You, Criminal Minds, Sailor Moon, So I Married an AntiFan and many more
colours: Powder (pink, blue, ect), Yellow, Navy, Maroon, Orange
albums: A Fever You Can't Sweat Out - Panic! At the Disco, Any Lovejoy album whatsoever, Sour - Olivia Rodrigo, Arrival - ABBA, Manifesto - Enhypen, Superache - Connan Gray
video games: Minecraft, The Sims, AmongUs, Portals
food: Sushi, Noodles, Popcorn, Tteokbokki, Japchae, rice
drinks: TEA, COFFEE, Orange Soda, Sprite, Ginger ale, dr. pepper
aesthetics: Light and Romantic Academia, Y2K Cyber, Cottage Core, Emo/Scene and sometimes Gothic.
I like to describe my aesthetic under the name Persephone Inspired.
TXT and IKEA for some reason
classes:
Winter Semester:
Still Determining
Spring Semester:
Still Determining
Summer Semester:
Internship in Hawaii
goals:
finish relearning Korean, Japanese, and Spanish ASAP
BULLET JOURNAL MORE, I am so much more productive and organized when I use my buju.
make all A's these next two semesters
eat and be healthier
participate in as many studyblr challenges as possible
have 1 year of productivity
do okay while streaming
Get an iPad
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devoteurheartlh · 5 months
Note
Your post replies are closed but I can recommend:
Call your name from AOT
I miss you - Incubus
The one that got away - Katy Perry
Teenage dream - Katy Perry (Specifically fits the Jr High manga),but the "Let's run away and don't ever look back" hurts
Dueles - Jesse&Joy
Heather - Connan Gray (I usually see it from Moblit/Petra's POV towards Levihan)
Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery
I love you so - The Walters
She's all that
Oh haha i limit the people who can reply to my posts because i am afraid of people 😅 but thanks to these! I will listen to them now ♥️
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shreeeww · 7 months
Text
jigsaw by connan gray is so heartbreaking
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hanahaki-disease · 1 year
Text
Haven't I Given Enough?
A Hermit!Tommy HC x DSMP Crossover
Chapter 10 | What a Sight for Sore Eyes
Summary: And though Tommy looks different than the ball of joy and energy he once was, Pearl knows her son is home at last.
Words: 4453
Notes: Chapter title is from "Heather" by Connan Grey
******************************************************************
Tommy stormed down the other side of the mountain Mumbo’s base was on, the floating Blackstone creating fuzzy shadows along the grass. He wonders when he’ll be able to see the mustache man. Everything he knows about redstone, Mumbo taught him–through his educational videos of course. Hours were spent hunched over the broken communicator that Martyn had given him on the other side of the portal all those years ago. It was something that could distract him from the cold bed he woke up in at Philza’s place, keep his mind away from the war and bloodshed that flooded the Dream SMP. 
But as he walked down the hill, the furthest thing from his mind was the mustache'd man. Tommy had one goal that day after seeing his uncle: finding his mother.
If Grian was here on the server, the chances of his mother being here were high, it would explain why and how he knew where she was. It only made sense, and if Tommy could fly, he would go straight back to the shopping district and demand the location of his mother from Iskall or Stress. Tommy knew better than to ask Xisuma right now. 
To be honest, Tommy was slightly afraid of the admin. His past experiences with some weren't exactly…pleasant to say the least. Grian–his first admin technically–had been taken by watchers before his eyes, abandoning him in a world with people he didn’t know. Dream has quite literally beat the shit out of him and manipulated his best friend to exile Tommy. Sufficient to say, Tommy’s only hope to learn where his mother is was to ask Doc, Stress, or Iskall. He would ask the other hermits on the server but spending nearly a month in hiding wasn’t the best way to explain to someone where you were in an introduction.
Tommy climbed the dirt staircase on the other side of Mumbo’s mountain, if he could only find a nether portal, he would be set. From the way Iskall talked about the nether hub, it was organized and easy to navigate so Tommy should have no problem finding his way to Iskall’s base through it. The only problem was actually getting there. 
The fake town before him left Tommy in awe. Brightly lit window shops and vibrant flowers lined the clean streets and the sound of theme park music played from somewhere further in the strip. It was very different from what Tommy has seen–granted he hasn’t seen much, but it was still different, a good difference he thought. In one window display, popcorn buckets of all shapes and sizes promoted the savory snack that lay inside the shop. Another had merchandise for the park’s mascot, a gray and white cat named Jellie who smiled beside a man in a tophat and his own wide grin. 
“Oh, um, hello,” Tommy turned around. Behind him was the man in the poster, but his clothes were different. Instead of the tophat and gray-colored suit, he wore a safety vest and a hard hat that was too big for his head. The man was tall, not as tall as Doc or Xisuma, Tommy thought, but he stood near eye level with Tommy. “Are you lost? Where did you come from?”
“Tell me where your nether portal is, tall man!” Tommy didn’t answer his questions. He was still on a mission to find his mum and the mischievous-looking man before him was an obstacle in Tommy’s way. “I have to find someone and the cowardly bitch over there won’t tell me where she is!” He glared at the base of floating rocks behind the theme park. 
“Woah, Woah, Woah, cool it with the cursing, young one!” The man raised one of his hands to try and calm Tommy down. “What do you mean ‘find your mom’? Is she here in hermitcraft or did you get lost in the world hub?”
“I think she’s here,” Anger still bubbled within Tommy’s chest. How could Grian keep him away from his mother? It wasn’t his choice who he could see or not see and it wasn’t like Grian was his other parent. And, yeah, Tommy thought of Grian as a pseudo-father figure when he was younger, but that naïvety had worn away during the first war on the Dream SMP. “Uncle Grian won’t tell me where she is and I have a right to fuckin’ know! She’s my mum!”
The man looked past him and glanced at Grian’s base. “Okay, okay. I’ll help you. My name’s Scar, what’s yours?”
“Tommy.” 
“Alright, Tommy,” Scar moved to stand next to the younger of the two, a smile etching his way across his face. Tommy couldn’t help but feel wary of Scar. Maybe it was the way he smiled, it felt unnerving like at any moment he would place a spell on him and run with the items in his pocket. Maybe it was the way the scars littered his face and hands that left the cheery man with an unbalanced look; how could a guy with so many scars act as if he was the happiest person in the world? It made no sense. “Can you tell me anything about your mom? Her name, what she looks like, stuff like that. If she is here, it shouldn’t take us long to find her, there aren’t that many of us after all.”
He thought about what he knew about his mother. It had been a while since he thought about what she looked like, trying to only remember her voice and the warmth of her hugs. Surely his mother couldn’t look too different than himself, right? He had to have gotten his looks from somewhere and he was sure that he didn’t look like his biological father, whoever he was. Tommy remembers his mum refusing to talk about him. Why, Tommy never got the chance to ask. 
“Um,” Tommy stammered. “She has blue eyes, I know that.”
“Okay, anything else?” Scar led them to one of the buildings in the keyholes beside main street. It was taller than most of the other structures, with smooth quartz and bright blue accents that brought his attention to the main entrance. 
“Her hair was browner than mine, I think,” Tommy stared at all of the chests lining the back wall, each one labeled with a picture of the contents inside. “But I’m not sure.”
“That’s alright, people change their hair color all the time!” Scar pushed open a door and motioned for Tommy to follow. On the other side, extra props and backup flowers scattered the area, maybe it was a storage area for the main street. “I know for sure that Joe changes his almost every season. I think in season five his hair was like, pink for months, and last season his hair was neon green!”
Below main street was a wall of more chests, they were also labeled but it seemed useless because covering the ground around them were shulker boxes of every color. Scar walked around them as if they had always been there and he had just grown used to the maze of shulkers. Tommy, however, stared in awe at the amount of them. Sure he had his own, Iskall gave it to him and even then he was surprised at how casually he gave it to Tommy, but looking at all the ones Scar had let Tommy believe that shulkers were something of the norm here.
On the other side of the shulker sea, Scar waited patiently for Tommy to make his way through the maze, the same gray cat from the poster lay across his shoulders. “Have you been in the nether hub before?”
Tommy shook his head. “No problem! Everything has a sign so it shouldn’t be too hard for you to understand how it works. Anyway, is there anything else you remember about your mom? Her name perhaps?”
When they reached the central room of the hub, Tommy stared in awe at the artificial void that surrounded them. Four libraries, one in each cardinal direction, seemed to float in midair. Stars twinkled in the void, blinking back at Tommy with a soft assurance that everything would be okay; he hoped the fake stars weren’t lying. Bridges connected the libraries in each corner to make it easier for people without wings, which Tommy was quite glad about, each little landing had desks and opened books as if someone had been studying recently. The tree in the middle wasn’t something to ignore either. It was tall and thin, standing firm in the center with its sturdy gray limbs spanning the ceiling above them. Leaf-like things fell from the branches above them and piled up on the walkways, but it wasn’t messy, it had added to the charm and peacefulness that radiated from this nether hub. A far cry from the hub in the Dream SMP. 
There were no cobblestone bridges that stretched far over lava lakes and crossed at unstable points. Ghasts didn’t shoot them down and kill them in the burning air. Piglins and hoglins didn’t spawn in front of the portals and hunt them down as soon as they got close. It was different.
“Uhm,” Tommy took a hesitant step on one of the floating bridges. Despite Scar standing before him, perfectly fine on the crimson wood, the blond boy was slightly scared that the floor would fall under the weight of them both. “Her name…Her name was Pearl, I think? I don’t remember many people calling her name, I was five-fucking-years old, so what do I know?”
Scar stopped in his tracks causing Tommy to bump into his back. “Oi, big man, why’d you stop?”
“Pearl?” He said shocked. “As in Pearlescentmoon–Pearl?”
“Yeah! That’s her name!” A smile widened on Tommy’s face. Finally! One of his questions was answered. “You know her? She’s here on this server?”
“She joined hermitcraft last season,” Scar continued his path down the bridges, pivoting into the first major hall at the end of the path. “Her and another young lady named GeminiTay. They’re both such good builders, like, last season your mom built an entire mountain to put her megabase on top of, it was insane and the terraforming was very much Scar-approved.” He laughed as they walked along the andesite path. “Sometimes I think she might be better than me!”
The side hall Scar walked in was a short forest-like tunnel, rocks, and soft moss covered the ground with small bushes of flowers dotted here and there. Towards the back of the hall the floor split in three. One path led up to a quarts-lined portal, gold and warped wood details broke the earthy colors of the tunnel and brought Tommy’s attention to it. Under the portal, the second path in the tunnel, was another, this time it had deepslate over it. Jagged edges and gilded Deepslate made a clear way through the rocks. The last, the one Scar was standing next to, had alien foliage creeping up the obsidian. Blue mushrooms and purple flowers, much larger than lilacs or peonies, glowed in the dim light. 
There was a sign on one of the mushroom stems, ‘Pearl’ it read. “This is her portal, it should take you to her storage room in her base.” Tommy stood in front of the swirling purple magic, scared of what lies ahead. “Would you like me to go with you?”  Scar went first, his body fading away in a flurry of magic, he gave a smile and a wave before he disappeared. 
-
On the other side of the portal, chests lined the walls much like Scar’s, but these were all organized and proper. And while Scar’s had labels, something told Tommy that they weren’t exactly filled with the items the chests were labeled with. The floors were the same warped wood color as the mushrooms that covered the portal on the other side. Scar was standing to the side of the storage room, leaning against the wall by the stairs that led up to the first floor.
“You can take a tour of her base later,” Scar walked up the stairs, Tommy in tow, as they made their way up to Pearl’s bedroom. “But from what I’ve heard from Gem and Impulse–you’ll meet them later, Impulse is so funny and his beard is magnificent this season, though this is the only season he’s had a beard but compared to the beard Cub had a while ago, I prefer Impulse’s. And Gem is a treat, I tell you. But don't let her looks fool you, she is ruthless when it comes to a fight, though she got her butt kinda kicked when she went up against False –anyway, this is her room. I’ll be downstairs.”
Tommy stared at the door, the older man’s footsteps fading into silence in the background.
Years he wondered if his mother was alive. If she was still walking through servers after her disappearance, looking for him. Maybe she stayed in one place and mourned him, ridden with grief at the possibility that she would never see him again. Or could she have found an empty world and stayed until he found her, patiently waiting till either her death or the disappearance of the world. 
He knows that a part of him fully believed his mother died all those years ago. When the figure in the sky grabbed his uncle, who was now not dead but still a traitor for not telling him where his mother was, and his mother that at some point died. That the reason for her not finding him, for not saving him from everything that had happened in his old server, was because she couldn't. How many times did he wake up from nightmares about that night with a small part of him hoping his mother would be there to make him feel safe, to brush his hair from his face away and tell him it was all a dream. 
Carefully, as if the wood would shatter, Tommy knocked on the door. “Not now, Gem.” He heard his mother say from the other side. “I don’t feel like talking.” Tommy didn’t heed her wish. He had come too far to step away now. 
When he opened the door, he couldn’t see much in the dark but he could vaguely see the form of a person lying across the bed. They faced the only open window, their back towards him as he stepped inside. It was hard to tell but something was attached to their back, like wings of some sort. They lay behind them, spread across the empty part of the bed, mostly hidden beneath the blanket that wrapped around them.
“Gem, I said I didn’t want–” She sat up and faced Tommy. Her hair was noticeably disheveled a bit, it frizzed up beside her head and clung to her face. The wings drooped down when she saw him, the light green becoming brightening up in color from the sun. 
It was then Tommy felt like he couldn’t breathe. For so long he wished, prayed, and hoped he could see his mother again. Wished upon every star in the sky like Phil told him. Prayed to Lady Irene and Kristin to help him find her or to learn to move on. Hoped that one day she’d appear before him and bring him into a bone-crushing hug. And here she was, a little different than what he remembered, her hair longer than before and the blue of her jacket darker than the original, sitting on the bed staring at him in disbelief. 
She walked over to him, her eyes never once leaving him, afraid he’d fade into the air like her dreams. She was scared, Tommy noticed. There was an arm's distance between them and she kept her arms close to herself, scared to touch him and see him vanish into nothing, but she took a breath and cusped his cheek with one hand. It was instinct how Tommy leaned further into his mother’s touch, having been starved from it for so long.  
“Tommy?” She whispered, eyes welling up with tears as she pulled him into a hug. He had to lean down to bury his face into her neck. His tears stained her shoulder as he cried like he did when he was little. His arms wrapped around her with a reassurance that she wasn’t going to leave, she wasn’t going to disappear when he opened his eyes. 
How long has it been since he’s felt safe? Since he could truly feel as if everything was going to be okay? Tommy didn’t know, but here, being held in his mother's arms, he felt like he was home.
“Oh my god,” Pearl said. “My baby.” She kept repeating the words like a mantra as she cried. If Tommy could, he would say something, anything at all, but there were too many questions and feelings going on in his head that he had a hard time even thinking straight. Somehow, Pearl managed to pull away, her arms still holding his shoulders as she looked over him. “My god,” She chuckled with a sad smile. “You’ve grown.”
He gave a small chuckle. “Come, sit,” Pearl guided them to her bed, the single open window let Tommy see his mother more clearly. There were dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn’t been sleeping lately, and there were faint lines of smile wrinkles on the outer corners. But his mother’s smile had stayed the same after all these years. That was the one thing that hadn’t changed. “I bet you have questions.”
He nodded, still trying to sieve through all the questions he’s accumulated over the years. Pearl sighed and brushed some hair behind his ear, “I’ll answer as many as you want, okay? You deserve the truth.”
Tommy thought about it for a second, how could he choose just one? Should he ask why she hadn’t come back for him? Ask her if she was happy without him? It was hard to decide. Still, Tommy took a breath and looked at his mother, “What happened?”
“We have to start at the very beginning for that,” Pearl said. “Before Evo, I had been a mistress for a powerful politician in another world. His command could kill thousands, a wave of his hand could tear down mountains, and yet, of all the women in that world, he wanted me. Eventually, I found out I was with child and he tried to keep us in secret for as long as he tried.” Pearl sighed, this was a part of her life she tried so hard to forget, but it was an important part of their lives. Even if Tommy didn’t remember any of it. “One day, shortly after your first birthday, his wife had learned of us.
“And instead of telling her the truth,” Pearl’s eyebrows furrowed, angry still at what he had done. “He turned against me, using his power to say that I was using him to ‘gain access to government secrets,’ that I was committing the highest form of treason that world could declare.”
“That’s not fair,” Tommy said.
“You’re right, it’s not,” Pearl agreed. “But I was able to escape that world before any punishment was enacted, too afraid of what they could do to you because you were my son. So, with nowhere to go, you and I lived in the hub for nearly a year and a half.” She confessed. “Servers wouldn’t let us in because an admin marked us as criminals of sorts, murderers I think is what we were labeled as. So we roamed the hub and eventually, Grian found us.”
Tommy cocked his head. When he was young he was told that they wandered into the city of Evo. That they were on one side of the world and Evo was on the other side and they had just walked there. “What do you mean “Grian found us?” You all told me we just walked there.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know what he was doing in the hub that day, but he had saved us, essentially. He gave us food and invited us to Evo. Grian gave us a home.”
“Okay, but how does all this explain why you and Uncle G were taken?”
“I’m getting there, have patience.” Outside the sun had begun to set. The bright blue sky turning into the dark blue that twinkled with stars, Tommy wondered how long they had been talking. Oh, and Scar. He couldn’t still be here, right? If he was, the man would clearly have something wrong with him. “In Evo, there were challenges given to us by the watchers. If we could complete the challenge, we would be allowed to jump through the portal and the world would update around us. That’s what they told Grian when he made the server, what he told me when we joined, but it wasn’t until after we were taken that I was told the truth about Evo: It was a test to find the most worthy.”
“Most worthy? What does that mean?”
“It means the watchers thought us good candidates to become one of them.”
Tommy’s breath stopped in his lungs. He had learned a lot about watchers when he lived with Philza and his sons, learned about their cruelty to the players and merciless slaughter of worlds. How Philza begged Kristin to rid herself of them because they were nothing but “soulless machines that kill the innocent.” She didn’t listen and argued with Phiza about how important they were to the flow of the universe, without them people wouldn’t die and there would be no need for herself or Phil. The older man had stopped pestering her about them after that. 
“Grian, he–he was a watcher of Lady Kristen.” His heart sank. He had spoken some inconsiderate words to him before he came here, and couldn't even remember that Grian was taken as well. Tommy was so focused on his mother that he completely forgot about the man that was practically the only father-like figure in his life. How many times had a watcher come to collect the people of the Dream SMP, was Grian one of them? Had he been the one to take Wilbur when he died? Shlatt perhaps? Himself? 
“What?” Tommy asked in disbelief. 
“Grian became a watcher of Lady Kristen, he had died and came back as someone new, Xelqua was his name.” She spoke. “But his story is something he should tell you himself, it's far different than mine.”
“Who were you the watcher of?”
“Lady Irene.”
Tommy looked at Pearl. There was something he couldn’t name brewing in his chest, a feeling he had never felt before and it was strange. For so long he prayed to Prime–whose name was Irene apparently–for help, she had been his symbol of hope when he had lost his way. She had never answered him, never showed him that she listened to his prayers but it never deterred him. But he had never known that Irene had watchers of her own. The books that he read only wrote Irene as a benevolent goddess, someone who showed mercy to players for she was the one who brought life to players. 
Pearl had taken his silence as a cue to continue, and so she spoke, “After I was taken, I woke up in her dimension, a world of nothing but pure white and a single building–a cathedral, imposing and cold.” She fiddled with her fingers, trying to not meet his expectant gaze. “Much like the people already there.”
“I thought it was only Kristin who had watchers, though,” Tommy questioned. “That’s what Philza told us.”
“Because only those who've seen us, my son,” Pearl confessed. “Are dead.”
It made sense, Tommy supposed, the dead couldn’t exactly tell the living how they died. Kristin wouldn’t allow that, but it still didn’t stop the guilt that began to build up in his chest from how he spoke to Grian. He was just angry that Grian wouldn’t let him see his mom for reasons Tommy didn’t know until now. He just hopes he can apologize to him soon.
“The watchers of Lady Irene are different than those of Kristen’s,” Pearl stood from the bed, the moth wings behind her stretching to their full height as she opened the curtains, letting more light into the room. “Where Lady Kristen’s watchers are the ones who killed, I was the one to tell them who.” His mother didn’t look at him when she said that, afraid of the look she knew painted his face. “Her watchers, myself included, were sworn to an ordinance as soon as we appeared in her world. If we didn’t, I suppose we went to death’s door, and Irene would have to find someone new.
“We were given wings, insect ones to separate ourselves from the others, so that when we arrived people saw us as both an angel and as a catalyst for what’s to come.” Her back was turned towards him and Tommy couldn’t see past her or what she was looking at. “We became– I became a harbinger of disaster, I had to read from her scriptures to know who was to die and when. I might not have been the one who killed, but I still lead people to their deaths. My hands are just as red as Grian’s, though, I think his are worse.”
“What do you mean by that?” 
“That’s his story, Toms, he has to tell it.” Pearl chuckled. “But I don’t know if he will. The only reason I know is because I’ve seen it already.”
“Irene is the goddess of fate, so you already know what’s going to happen,” Tommy said. “You knew because you’ve seen the future.”
“Only bits,” She answered, turning back to face Tommy. “We weren’t allowed to read all of it, only what was necessary for the mission because any more than that we would become insane. We would be cursed to hear the cries of the damned and for the words we’ve read to be marked on our bodies.” Streaks of light faded into view on Pearl's arms as she rolled up her sleeves. They glowed and illuminated the dark room, it was hard to tell but Tommy could see the faintest of words on his mother's arms. It was too bright to read, but she read them as if they were nothing but ink on paper. “We’d be forced to watch every possible future without warning, feeling as if our minds were splitting in half only to be put back together again.”
“Why did you read it then?”
“I wanted to know what would happen to you,” Pearl brushed his hair to the side. “I was scared that one day I would read your name and find you on the wrong side of a sword, and I–I would be helpless to stop it.
“I’ve already lost you once,” Pearl stepped closer to her son. The lines became clearer until he realized they were Galactic, a language long forgotten by players and used only by higher beings. Admins could read Galactic if they had a cipher wheel to help translate, but his mother stood before Tommy and carefully read a sentence that was seared on the back of her wrist. He watched as she lifted her hands, a startling cold from before and Tommy chalked it up to the watcher magic coursing through her veins, and placed them on either side of his face. “I don’t think I could live with myself if you died.”
Tommy couldn’t help the tears that began to fall, he really thought he had cried enough that day, and yet, here he was. Wrapping his arms around his mother and crying into her shoulder like the day he was born. This time, however, Tommy wouldn’t be letting go. 
*******************************************************************
So they finally meet, I hope it is to your satisfaction, I am quite happy with this chapter.
As always, thank you so much for reading and feedback is greatly appreciated!!
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rosesfromparadise · 2 years
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¿Por qué...?
Siempre hubo un ella y yo. La veo por todas partes; en la cocina, en el baño, en esa esquina del salón, sobre la encimera, entre las sábanas de la cama...
Solía sentir mariposas subir por la boca de mi estómago, revolotear libres en mi cuerpo mientras el hormigueo del deseo me hacía verla como la mujer más hermosa del mundo. Esa sonrisa que me hacía querer estar sobre su pecho, susurrando mis sueños, los que deseaba hacer a su lado.
Sin embargo, ahora, que he cumplido 24 años y mi casa es tan solitaria como el empolvado suelo lunar. Me doy cuenta que su ausencia a hecho mella en mi, en como veo la vida ahora. En como la veo a Ella ahora.
Ayer la encontré en el porche de mi hogar con un cigarrillo entre los labios, de piernas cruzadas y sentada en los peldaños enfrente de mi puerta, sus ojos cristalizados sin un atisbo de la chica alegre que solía dormir conmigo me decían que había vuelto a cagarla, estaba avergonzada, con el rabo metido entre las piernas.
¿Quién será la que consuele sus desdichas? Efectivamente, yo.
¿Quién es la pecadora, y quién es la que juzga? No lo sé, no estoy en posición para decidirlo porque esa mujer, esa chica, ese corazón quebrado... Me está haciendo caer de nuevo, y sí, claro que se lo que está pasando. Nos apegamos al romance a pesar de que sabemos que solo arruinaremos más las cosas.
"¿La piel es lo único que calma tu sed de amor?"
Pregunté de brazos cruzados mirando si cuerpo estremecido, calado por el frío y tirado en los peldaños despreocupadamente. Sabemos que dejaré que se ponga cómoda, veremos una película y luego dormiremos desnudas bajo las mantas, no tendremos sexo. Pero sentir nuestras pieles juntas, solo eso, el calor, el alma, la quietud, nos hará sanar nuestras heridas que realmente solo se están pudriendo en mentiras.
" Puede ser, tal vez es que ni puedo soltar tu calor y tu no sabes negarte a una mínima muestra de cariño. Somos patéticas pero no somos nadie para juzgarnos, porque las dos estamos cayendo en el pecado; el pecado de amar a quien no lo hace con sinceridad. Mañana me acostaré con otro tío, aunque sé que soy lesbiana."
Dijo ella en tono cansado, estendio sus brazos hacia mi, en una mano la botella de cerveza en la otra el cigarro, en sus labios mi tentación y en su cuerpo mi perdición.
" Glane, si sabes lo que quieres ¿por qué seguimos en esto? ¿Por qué con tíos si eso no te complace?"
La chica me miró frustrada, a veces no entiendo nada de ella.
" No quiero un placer barato de un polvo nocturno, estoy harta de ello, yo te quiero a ti, pero no puedo... no puedo aceptarlo libremente"
Esas palabras me dolieron más que nada en este mundo, hubiera preferido que siguiera mintiendo en mi cara.
"No puedo aceptarlo libremente"
En ese caso, si no puede, porque me sigue usando como su saco de consuelo, yo también tengo sentimientos, yo también quiero amor desesperadamente... pero no así.
¿Que fueron esos meses en los que nos tratábamos como un romance perfecto?
Desearía dejar de ser el cuerpo que sana heridas.
Este relato corto fue escrito inspirado en Memories de Connan Gray.
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bea-like-me · 2 years
Text
Maisie's songs as other artist's songs
Memories - Connan Gray = Details
Paper Rings - Taylor Swift = Adore You
S.L.U.T. - Bea Miller = Smile
Good 4 u - Olivia Rodrigo = Psycho
Block Me Out - Gracie Adams = The List
Mr. Brightside - The Killers = April Showers
Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne = Cates Brother
Stay Stay Stay - Taylor Swift = Glowing Review
22 - Taylor Swift = Sad Girl Summer
Late Night Talking - Harry Styles = Stay Young
Apple Pie - Lizzie McAlpine = Happy Hunting Ground
Hey Stephen - Taylor Swift = Architecture
The Moment I Knew - Taylor Swift = Birthday
The Joker and The Queen - Ed Sheeran+Taylor Swift = Millhouse
Tolerate it - Taylor Swift = Worst of You
Fifteen - Taylor Swift = Outdoor Pool
Doppelganger - Joshua Basset = Look At Me Now
Run - Taylor Swift + Ed Sheeran = Place We Were Made
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lucywrites02 · 2 years
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Hi! Just wanted to pop in and leave this message here because you're an awesome blogger xx
🎵🌠 when you get this share 5 of your fav songs, publish and then pass to 10 of your fav moots🌠🎵
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 Hello there!!!! I hope you're having an amazing day!!!! ily <333
Grandson- 6.00
Imagine Dragons- Bad liar
Maneskin- Coraline
Halsey- Soo good
Connan Gray- Memories
2 notes · View notes