#congrats you're on your way to being one of those people on the abusive therapist side of tumblr adhd-hippie | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elvisabutler · 2 years

Note

I am the anon that used your consider against you and I would LOVE a second part😭 it’s heavenly I am so obsessed. Also a tiny indulgence if you have time - could u work in a reference to not using drugs? I’m six months into recovery and I just live knowing people aren’t partiers lol🥺

first off, congrats consider anon! second, i'm glad you enjoyed and consider this the second partish. seriously it's half blurb half ramble. i did honor your indulgence even though i have the reader vape or will have the reader vape in the main story. not necessarily the same thing but figured you deserved a heads up. tw: burn and scar mentioned ( not in a sh way, but could be seen as triggering ), possessiveness, a really unhealthy kind of borderline abusive d/s relationship. the usual stuff when it comes to pa! reader and me in this 'verse. so daddy kink, age difference, d/s.

any way you want me that's how i'll be

consider you always keep a piece of whatever made you your exes' good girl. later on your therapist reminds you that the way you do it is not healthy. yes, we are all bits and pieces of the people around us but you seem to take it to the extreme.

sir and armie's pieces are simple. for sir it was being where he wanted you, where he needed you. always hey, stay home baby girl, i know you hate parties and the drugs that tend to flow at some of them. "you'll be my good girl and stay sober even if you come right?" he asks when you ask if you can come. "of course, sir, how else could we get home?" you answer like uber doesn't exist and still get left behind for the fifth night just this month. armie's is stupidity, it's forgetting to put on your cream so the welt doesn't get scar or the burn cream when the wax did just the wrong amount of damage. your therapist always makes a face at the two small scars you have from it. austin does too.

papi is- was- papi is this never ending desire to hear that you're doing good, that you're following his directions so well and that he loves you. it's wanting to not have to beg so much for the smallest crumbs of things and feel guilty. "angel, you're being needy, did i not give you enough this morning? my good girl isn't this needy. she takes what she's given and waits for papi to give her more." he says one day when your hand scratches at his head, messing up his hair after a scene. "not in public, angel." "sorry papi, i just- i just wanted to touch you." you murmur pulling your hand away the shame threatening to eat away at you. "just don't do it again." he will not let you take his angel wing collar when you break up. he still sends you pictures of it from time to time. those are the days you have a panic attack after his phone calls.

with père it's different. it's keeping lessons you learn in such a short period of time that you realize he's ether a very good teacher or you are a phenomenal student. it's relearning that asking for things is a good thing. that your dom can't know what you want if you don't ask for it, if you don't fully consent to it. it's learning you have more power than you know in the hands of the right person to fit you. it's being told that you're a good girl for drinking your water even if it's in the form of coffee. "it's water, père, just bean flavored." you grin. "never refer to coffee as such again, please, ma belle." he asks looking truly and honestly horrified. it's all that and more even if when you meet austin there's still things you haven't fully learned. it's getting phone calls and not being forced into them because you can't let go of a man who sought you out when you were a newly turned eighteen and- you fell in love. it's a lot of things and yet it's one singular thing that might be the one thing that bothers and comforts austin all at once.

it starts as everything does in austin's bed with you curled against his chest. for some reason both you and him have taken to leaving your jewelry on the in bed as it gets painful as the rings digging into thighs or chests can sometimes be. at this point you are used to be a pleasure coming from a bit of pain and well what's a little bit more added to the pile. most nights he would play with your necklace almost as if he would like to wrap his hand around your neck again. some nights he does, other nights he chooses to just let it rest after letting his initials imprint on his own thumb.

tonight is not one of those nights, tonight austin's hand- his stupidly ring size large hand is twirling your dove ring. eyeing it as if it holds the secrets to the universe.

"who gave this to you, little dove?" he whispers, pulling your hand up and placing a kiss on the ring. "it wasn't your parents, right?"

"no, daddy. my mom would never get me something as in your face like this. same with my dad before he died." you pause, taking a moment to nuzzle at austin's chest. "are you sure you want to know? it might make you mad."

"at you, dove? doubt it." he lets go of your hand to touch your face. "please?"

"père, satnin." you choose that moment to call austin by one of your nicknames for him, knowing austin wouldn't work and- daddy felt so strange to be saying after admitting you wear a piece of jewelry your last ex gave you.

"keep it, ma belle. It was a gift and I would be insulted if you gave it back." he tells you when you move to take it off as he helps you pack your luggage.

"but i'm not yours any more, père." you reply confused to the very core of your being. papi had made you take off your collar and he kept it. pere had never given you a collar, but this- this was close enough. you were supposed to give it back, right?

"that gift was for you to have something of mine to remember me when we were apart. why would that change now? are we not at least friends? do you not want to remember me if i don't call for months?" he pauses. "do you not want to remember me at all, y/n?" he asks using your actual name, a sign that he's serious about wanting to know your answer.

"i need to remember you, i think. i can keep it? you promise? you're not going to ask me to send it back?" you try and keep the desperation out of your voice, but the idea of having to send it back fills you with dread you can't describe.

"never. only send it back if you don't need me in your life somehow."

"deal."

austin can't help the inhale of breath at your admission. he doesn't- he doesn't like père. at least not yet. he treated you fine- but he still thinks you were an artistic experience for him and not someone he actually cared about in the way you deserved to be cared about. in the way him and papi cared about you.

"you said you wouldn't be mad, satnin." you murmur, kissing at his neck. "it doesn't- it's my dove ring, daddy. it's why you call me little dove."

"i'm not asking you to- i wouldn't, darling." he shushes what he feels are tears building up behind your eyes. "you're mine, right? even with his ring?"

'i only have one set of initials on me right now, austin." you answer a little shakily, a hand moving to touch the dove on your neck. "all yours, daddy. just like you're all mine, not nessa's even after everything, right?"

his hand moves to rest on top of yours, pressing your thumb against his initials on the back of the necklace. "all yours, little dove. all yours."

#austin butler x priscilla actress reader #is this fluff or angst?#it's both. probably.#austin butler x y/n #austin butler x reader #austin butler x you #both shy and proud of this all at once.#writing when everyone in the house is sick is fun y'all.#austin butler headcanons #ally writes

41 notes · View notes