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#confused... there was no question here. and if there was that would honestly be WORSE
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Request: Velvet, Eleanor, and Magilou with a shy S/O who is trying to hide the hickeys their girl friend gave them.
(Tales of Berseria) Velvet, Eleanor, and Magilou's S/O trying to hide their hickeys
Gotta say for all three of them, ow.
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Velvet's S/O struggles to look at her directly, one hand gently rubbing their neck.
Velvet has a smug grin as she crosses her arms.
(Velvet) "I think that looks good on you, personally."
(S/O) "I-It's really obvious where they are!"
(Velvet) "I'm pretty sure that's the whole point of a hickey. Besides showing you're mine anyway-"
Honestly, she doesn't really care what anyone thought about the marks. And seeing S/O get this flustered over them was pretty amusing.
But there was one problem with her carefree attitude about it.
(Laphicet) "S/O? What happened to your neck?"
(S/O) "O-Oh! Well, t-that's!-"
(Eizen) "Why are you that flustered about-...Oh."
Eizen sighs, making Eleanor walk over to the group and realize what happened.
(Eleanor) "Oh my-VELVET!"
She gives Eleanor a glance, raising an eyebrow.
(Velvet) "What?"
(Eleanor) "It's...just so indecent! Why did you-"
(Laphicet) "Did Velvet do something to S/O?"
(Eizen) "No boy, don't ask questions about it. You'll learn when you're older."
(Laphicet) "...Huh?"
S/O had their face buried in their hands, making Laphicet even more confused.
Eleanor crossed her arms and looked extremely disgusted.
(Eleanor) "I cannot believe you two would-"
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(Velvet) "S/O, go wash those marks off your neck. And Laphicet, it was from bug bites."
(Laphicet) "What kind of bug would...?-"
(Eizen) "One you shouldn't ask about. Here, let's ask Rokurou about it, and leave the ladies at...this."
Eizen quickly rushed away Laphicet from S/O, Velvet, and Eleanor.
(S/O) "I want to die..."
(Eleanor) "Well...at least wear a scarf!"
(Velvet) sigh "Pride still intact, S/O?"
(S/O) "No..."
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Eleanor may have...gotten carried away in the moment.
Truthfully, if she had hickeys on herself, she would absolutely panic.
So to see that she had caused very noticeable ones on S/O's neck and shoulders.
(Eleanor) "...Oh my-..."
Eleanor and S/O struggle to look each other in the eye, both blushing a scarlet red.
(Eleanor) "I am so sorry...L-Let me find you something to cover it up! Or at least some makeup!"
Despite her best efforts, it is extremely noticeable.
(Rokurou) "Hey, S/O? Think ya got something on your neck."
(S/O) "D-D-Do I?!"
(Rokurou) "Yeah, looks like bite ma-...Oh."
Velvet turns around to both Eleanor and S/O, noticing both their expressions.
(Velvet) "Should've just let that lie, Rokurou."
(Rokurou) "Yeeaaaah, didn't realize till it was too late. But hey, didn't think you had it in ya, Eleanor!"
Eleanor facepalmed and swore under her breath, making S/O stare at the ground even harder.
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(Velvet) "It's becoming our business when we can hear you two clear as day."
(S/O & Eleanor) "WHAT?!"
(Rokurou) "They're already dead, Velvet. No need to drive the dagger further."
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Magilou did that shit on purpose.
Sure, there were other ways of saying that S/O and Magilou were a couple.
But those ways are a lot less interesting and hot.
And Magilou bit hard.
(S/O) "M-Magilou, I'm covered in bites!"
(Magilou) "That you are. And?"
(S/O) "AND?! I CAN'T GO OUT LIKE THIS!"
(Magilou) "Sure ya can! Here, let's go show the others right now!"
(S/O) "N-NO NO NO! WAIT-"
Magilou does not help with S/O's flustered reactions at all, in fact she made it worse.
The first people to see them was Velvet and Eleanor.
(Eleanor) "Good morn-..."
Eleanor's voice was caught in her throat as her eyes widened, looking at S/O's neck.
(Velvet) "...I'm even more glad I had my room far away from you two."
(Magilou) "Come now, you should be rejoicing at the healthy love blossoming between your two companions!"
Both Eleanor and Velvet's glance turned to S/O, who was on the floor, arms in their knees, and face in hands.
Accompanied by a noise that either sounded like a whine of agony, muffled screaming, or a mixture of both.
Then, the two looked back to Magilou.
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(Eleanor) "Ugh, too much information."
(Velvet) "Doubt she really cares about that."
(Magilou) "I don't!~"
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worldlxvlys · 9 days
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study sesh w bff! matt, but he can’t stay focused bc you’re so innocently distracting. he ends up giving into his deepest darkest fantasies and fucks your brains out
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study session
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matt sturniolo x reader
warnings: smutttt, p in v, oral (male + fem receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before ya tap it), rough sex, squirting, spanking, fingering, overstimulation, cursing
a/n: i combined these two cause i thought they’d go well tg, hope ya like it
MATT’S POV
“matt? what the hell are you doing here?”
at the sound of her voice, i whipped my head around to look at her.
my eyes widened, cheeks growing red as i took in her clothing choice, or lack thereof.
she wore nothing but one of my shirts, most likely opting to just wear underwear under it.
the scent of her fruity body wash wafted into her room through the open bathroom door.
“matt?” she asked again, pulling me from my daze.
“your mom let me in for our study session” i answered after clearing my throat awkwardly.
“shit, i completely forgot about that” she spoke, eyes darting to the open backpack that sat beside me.
she quickly walked over to her desk, grabbing her own backpack before joining me on the bed.
“ok, so where should we start?” she asked, crossing her legs and making herself comfortable across from me.
she was driving me crazy.
every time she shifted slightly her shirt rode up her thigh, exposing more and more skin.
“matt ? are you paying attention?” she asked, placing her hand on my thigh. it took everything in me not to move it further up.
“um, honestly? maybe we should just look in the textbook” i answered, knowing that no matter what question she just asked, i was too far gone to give her an intelligible answer.
“ok well let me go grab it then, i’m pretty sure i stuck it at the top of my closet in the beginning of the year” she answered, getting up from the bed and moving towards her closet.
i watched as she stood on the tips of her toes, struggling to reach the book.
i should’ve gotten up to help her, but i was too focused on the view i had of her ass when her t-shirt rose up.
not only was her ass on full display, but i also had a perfect view of her red thong.
there was simply no way she didn’t realize that she was fully flashing me in the moment.
was she teasing me on purpose?
or, maybe she just trusted that i’d look away instead of staring at her like a creep.
i felt all of the blood rush to my dick, making a very noticeable tent form in my pants.
deciding to help her before it got worse, i quickly got up and rushed towards the closet just as she finally maintained a firm grip on the textbook.
“got it!” she spoke.
unfortunately for her, when she pulled the thick book down, she also managed to pull down every book underneath it.
the books fell onto her floor, all of them remaining closed except for one.
“shit” she sighed heavily, realizing she would have to put them all back. i knelt down, beginning to help her pick up the books.
“here, just hand them to me. i’ll put them on my desk until we put the textbook back” she spoke as she picked up her own pile, placing them down onto the desk.
i followed her instructions, picking the books up and handing them to her, before stopping when the words of the open one caught my eye.
“i want matt”
i picked the book up, moving it closer to my face to read the rest of the words.
“you want me?” i asked out loud, clarifying the words to make sure there wasn’t some double-meaning i was missing.
she scrunched her eyebrows in confusion for a few seconds, face instantly dropping when she realized what i was reading.
“matt, no!” she spoke worriedly, moving to grab the book from me.
i moved it out of her reach before she had the chance to take it.
“let me read it” i spoke, watching as her eyes widened at my words.
“no, matt-” i placed my hand on her arm, rubbing it softly to let her know i wasn’t weirded out or mad.
“let me read it” i spoke, my eyes bouncing back and forth between hers.
she gave up after that, letting out a small sigh before backing away.
“i want him to…” my voice trailed off, eyes widening as my brain processed the raunchy things my best friend fantasized about me.
i glanced up at her, taking in her embarrassed state, before walking closer to her.
she reacted by walking backwards as i began to read again, “i want him to fuck me so hard that i can’t walk for a week”
i backed her into the desk, a small gasp falling from her mouth as my boner pressed into her thigh.
“i want his head between my thighs”
“i want to know what his pretty face looks like covered in my cum”
“wanna find out?” i asked as i turned her around, bending her over the desk.
“matt!” she squeaked out in surprise as i held her hands behind her back.
“yes or no?” i asked as i pressed my chest to her back, leaning into her as i whispered into her ear.
“yes, yes, please” she moaned out.
i let go of the book, letting it fall back onto the ground while i began to press kisses to her neck.
i lightly nipped at her skin, leaving little marks while she moaned softly under me.
suddenly, there were loud knocks at her door, my hold on her wrists tightening instinctively.
instead of stopping, however, i moved lower to begin leaving kisses on her thighs.
it was like any ounce of self-control i had left my body as soon as i read her words.
“are you guys ok? i thought i heard something fall” her mom spoke through the door.
her breathing grew heavy as my lips got closer and closer to her wetness.
“yeah, just my textbook!” she spoke as quickly as possible in hopes that a moan wouldn’t slip out.
“ok, just making sure” was all her mom said before she retreated from the door.
as soon as she knew her mom was gone, a long moan fell from her mouth.
“quiet, princess. don’t want her coming back, do we?” i asked her, lips brushing the skin of her ass.
“no, just- god, please do something” she whispered frustratedly.
i ran my hand across her ass before giving it a firm slap, making her moan out.
“lose the attitude” i spoke to her.
i pulled her thong down her legs, tapping her ankles lightly. she took the hint, quickly stepping out of them.
“i don’t have an attitude, i just- fuck” she cut herself off with a moan as i shoved my face into her cunt.
i let go of her hands, hooking them around her thighs as i licked a long stripe up her pussy.
her hand automatically flew to her desk, gripping onto it while she cried out.
“god, you taste so fucking good” i moaned against her as i licked up every drop of her wetness, savoring the taste of her on my tongue.
i lapped at her heat, her constant whining fueling me to keep going.
my eyes rolled back as all of my attention went into her pussy.
i was so consumed in it, i could stay there for hours. she was so perfect.
i moved my tongue up towards her clit, sucking and licking it, enjoying the moans that the pleasure pulled out of her.
realizing i was a little too excited, i slowed down a little bit. i needed to take my time and enjoy it.
i began to leave slow, tantalizing licks to her pussy. she squirmed at my teasing, pushing her hips back into my face.
she began to rock her hips back and forth against my mouth, letting out loud moans.
i pulled back, giving her ass another slap, “didn’t i tell you to be quiet?” i asked.
“yes, yeah, i’m sorry. i’ll be quiet, please matt”
i brought my hand to her pussy, spreading around her wetness with the palm of my hand.
i pushed a finger into her, taking her by surprise as her legs began to shake.
i moved the finger inside of her quickly, stretching out her tight hole.
i pushed another finger in, producing a squelching noise as they plunged in and out of her.
“matt, i’m gonna cum!” she cried out mere seconds before her juices shot out of her, splashing onto my face.
“f-fuck” she shivered as her release dripped down my face.
i got onto my feet and turned her to face me, placing my lips to hers in a heated kiss.
she reached down between us, unbuckling my belt without breaking the kiss.
she pulled my pants down, quickly moving her hand to palm me through my boxers.
i groaned softly at that, my head flying back as she applied pressure.
“want you so bad, matt” she whispered while her nose brushed my neck.
“need you inside of me” she spoke as her hand crept into the waistband of my boxers.
i pulled my boxers down, letting them fall to my ankles as she began to stroke me slowly.
after a few pumps, i pulled her hand away and brought it to my lips. i placed a light kiss to her knuckles before hoisting her onto the desk.
“ready?” i asked, searching her eyes for any hesitation.
she nodded her head slightly, looking up at me through her lashes.
“words, baby” i spoke.
“yes, matt. please, please just fuck me”
with that, i placed my hands on her hips and pushed myself into her entrance.
despite how stretched out she was, her walls still hugged my dick tightly, causing me to let out a strained groan as i pushed into her further.
we both let out loud moans as i bottomed out, my dick resting deep inside of her.
her hands flew to her sides, bracing herself on the desk as i began to move inside of her.
i thrusted into her slowly, but deep enough to make her body jolt with each slap of my hips against hers.
my hips collided with the desk under her with each thrust, causing it to thud against the wall harshly.
“m-matt, she’s gonna hear” she cried out between moans.
“you want me to stop?” i asked, raising my brows at her as i continued my movements.
“no!” she spoke loudly, “no, please don’t stop. it feels so fucking good, oh my god” she whined, her head flying back.
“yeah? is this what you think about when we study together?” i asked, only receiving long moans in response.
“you think about me fucking you on this desk? my dick so far into you, you can’t even speak?”
she looked so fucked-out, her eyes hooded and mouth hung open in pleasure. i wasn’t even sure she could hear me until she nodded her head in response.
“or maybe you think about me bending you over it, huh?” she began to moan louder at that, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.
“do you know the amount of times i’ve thought about seeing you like this?” i asked as i pushed her legs closer to her chest.
“yes, yes, yes, holy shit” she heaved as she held her legs close to her.
“so good for me” i mumbled, reaching between us to rub her clit.
“matt, i’m so close, so close” she whined as her body began to shake.
“yeah? you got it, let go for me, baby. ”
her eyes squeezed shut as she clenched around me, eliciting a deep groan from me as i felt the coil in my stomach tighten.
the feeling of her pleasure coating my length pushed me closer to finishing, causing me to quickly pull out of her.
“fuck, where do you want it?” i asked as i began to pump myself, chasing my orgasm.
she pushed me back slightly, hopping off of the desk and sinking to her knees in front of me.
before i could even process what she was doing, her mouth was on my tip.
“o-oh” i moaned in surprise.
all it took was her sucking on the tip once and i was gone.
my hips bucked forward into her mouth, accidentally pushing myself to the back of her throat.
my hands flew to the desk in front of me, gripping it firmly while i shot my seed down her throat.
she took her mouth off of me, sticking her tongue out to show me that she swallowed everything.
“you’re gonna be the death of me” i spoke as she got to her feet.
before she could respond, there was a loud knocking at the door.
shit.
🤍🤍🤍🤍
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nicksmainbitch @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
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wonryllis · 3 months
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𝜗𝜚ㅤTHAT'S MY GIRL! ( their idol s/o has dating rumours with someone else )
────𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗌𝖾𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗌𝖾𝖼𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗒!
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﹙NOTES.﹚ enhypen as your idol counterpart. fluff. fem!centered. lowercase intded. 1098wc. requested by anonie 𓈃 ๋ 𝐍𝐄𝐖 峠
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𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 the one who ends up revealing your relationship in the most unhinged way. look he really loves the thrill of a secret relationship and he's so grateful to be chosen and loved by you but he just cannot stand you being romantically associated with someone that's not him. like why anyone else when he's literally here? sad baby starts a weverse live to vent in code (lies he planned it all so strategically, the perfect little irreversible plan) but ends up slipping your name in between as if he wasn't just giving it all away, "whose scrunchie is that? oh this blue one?" picking up the silk rubber from the corner the fans spotted it in,"it's y/n's," and when asked why, he's babbling on before anyone can stop him," because my baby was here yesterd-" live ended.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 the one who is so secure in himself, he wouldn't give a damn about it. please he couldn't be bothered in the least whether there's one or hundred rumours or articles, he knows he's the only one for you. though sometimes he would want to show you off a bit but that's okay there will come that day when he would put a ring on that finger and declare to everyone just how much he loves you. "jay did you know about that rumor i had with-" you enter the room, wanting some lovely words from your lovely boyfriend,"baby you know i love you lots no article or rumor's gonna change that ever," you giggle rushing over to him and leaving fluttering kisses on his cheeks, "just wanted to tell you he's apparently rumoured to have beef with you," "we meet after a week and that's all you gotta say? come on baby,"
𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍 the one who is full of himself, convinced it was just a lame ass set up for a while. he opens the article once, reads a lone single line and it's done. the next time you're meeting he'll be like, i saw the article of you with so and so, saw the pictures too and well i understand. can't deny your chemistry speaks but that's because they haven't seen you with me yet, "we literally define chemistry baby, he ain't nothing before me," his ego shines so bright and it's even crazy that you find that attractive about him. the next time he sees that idol he's gonna be hella sarcastic and fans are so confused to see the puppy guy behave like that. "i know he's no competition for me but honeybun how dare they like, man know your limits," he's not stressed he says all week.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍 the one who ends up making dating rumours of himself with that idol. honestly he hates it, the rumours are eating away at him and it's worse that you're mc partners with that idol. will stare that guy's kidneys down when on an interview on the show. and then boom the next day there's articles all over the internet about how he was giving his heart eyes the entire time. "is this damage control or is this self sabotage?" he's questioning himself as much as he is questioning you, but does it really matter the mission was successful and now your name is no longer attached to that shit. now well it's his go to plan everytime you get dating rumours only stopping when it's his name beside yours, "baby, i got it all under control trust me. no one will ever try to pretend to date you," he's not leaving anyone unstained who dares to go for his baby.
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎 the one who strangely gets excited over the news, boy are you sure it's rumours about your s/o? he's quite literally the first one to find out and he's ecstatic to know the love of his life is so popular and even more that you're getting free publicity like you go girl it's all an image, i know who's the real one. there is no jealousy jealousy, but he's still like,"don't be too cocky about your options, you're stuck with me bun," if he knows that idol, he's definitely talking about it in his next live, subtly trying to debunk the rumours saying oh my friend's got no rizz, way to roast for love. however there are moments of craziness when he'd add fuel to the fire and start new rumours, "babes, i got you some more publicity, your company's not doing shit for you they gotta thank me,"
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍 the one who purposely tries to set you up for schedules with himself so that he can start rumours about you both. on his managers ass to arrange shows you can participate together in, to creat opportunities for him to interact with you as much as he possibly can. might even pressurize the poor manager to open fan accounts and spread rumours about y'all. "baby, i got this show for us next week, we're gonna be making news soon!" excited he speaks into the phone, on his way to your dorm without any disguise hoping paparazzi catches him?? with his manager running after him trying to convince him there's better ways. "wonie, do you wanna join we got married?" boom bam boom you're just as crazy as him, your mates cannot fathom how y'all haven't been discovered yet.
𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈 the one who teases you but in a sorta jealous, i need some validation kind of way. he knows it's not serious but he just can't help it, he just constantly wants to be reassured by you, it makes him feel all these giddy butterflies like yes i bagged this amazing person. and it's so sad he can't show it to the world, but if you love him back then that's all that matters. "heard you got a new boyfie?" he looks at you wiggling his brows in a pout as you hangout in an empty dressing room after your performances, "what no? you're my boyfriend, the permanent one," you assure his ass but he's liking this so much,"the how many side hoes have you got?" he starts again, "only one," you tease, "does it start with a r and end with an i?" "i don't think so," "y/n!" always ends like this.
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TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie
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papercorgiworld · 20 days
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I don't need space, I need you
Mattheo and Theodore fluff
Based on this request, please don't hate me for taking 29 days to post this rather average piece, but I had a lot of requests and not a lot of time. I hope you like it!
Finally I had time to write today! Big yey for me, people. I needed it and I'm so happy I wrote something today. 💛 Sending you lots of love and of course: happy readings!
A/N: I got some stuff going on in life so if I don't respond, I'm sorry. Just know that I love you. 💛
Mattheo
“Where’s my princess?” Mattheo sings as he enters the common room in search of you. “Not here, I would check the library.” Blaise states not looking up from his book. Mattheo nods and is about to turn around to head straight for the library, but Draco’s snickering stops him from doing so. “I bet you’re pleased to have a moment of peace.” Mattheo focuses on Draco, not completely getting where the blond's going with this. “I honestly pity you, man, must be so suffocating.” Suddenly all eyes are on Mattheo and not just his friends, the entire slytherin common room is curious to hear what the big bad boy has to say. Mattheo moves a nervous hand through his curls and chuckles. “Yeah, she’s a bit much with her hugs and cuddles, and urgh those constant questions to check on me. I’m lucky she studies so much, so I have a break from time to time.” Mattheo sits down opposite of Draco who grins and nods, fully believing that Mattheo feels saved by your absence. However, Mattheo felt miserable sitting there, knowing that he could be spending time with you.
Just like Mattheo was searching the castle for you, you had been searching for him and ended up checking the common room. With watery eyes you turn around, unnoticed by anyone, and leave the common room. He thinks I’m too much?
***
“Who is it?!” Mattheo yells as he pushes you against the wall of an empty hallway. He rarely raised his voice with you, but now his face was close to yours, his eyes dark and piercing yours. He looks more pained than angry, but you just look confused. To him it was obvious, you had fallen out of love with him and probably found someone else. There was plenty of proof:
A quick kiss on the lips and a wish of good luck before Tuesday's test was all Mattheo got, instead of the tight hug and intense kiss you would normally give him before a test. 
When you got your results back on Wednesday you jumped into Luna’s arms and just gave him a happy smile, while he was standing right there next to Luna. His heart ached to hold you and press you against his chest. Worse was when you asked Enzo about his test first and ended up discussing all the answers, barely giving your boyfriend any attention.
Thursday you went to sit next to Pansy in the common room, instead of settling in your boyfriend’s lap. Mattheo was forced to watch you the whole evening without touching you once. When you left for bed, you told him not to walk you to your room and reminded him to spend some much needed time with his friends. The sweet kiss you gave him, didn’t make up for any of it. 
Were you trying to get rid of him? To Mattheo the case was obvious.
Friday was the worst. Happy to finally have you next to him as you were both reading, settled close by the fire. With his eyes still on the page of his own book his arm moved behind you to pull you closer and you let your head rest on his shoulder as you continued to read, but still Mattheo frowned. Normally you would sling your legs over his and cuddle up against his chest, wrapping your blanket around the both of you and creating this warm bubble of love. He could barely focus on his book, as his eyes constantly wandered to you reading next to him but not cuddled up against him like you used to.
So by Saturday Mattheo had pretty much had it with you. You rubbed your temple as squeezed your eyes. “I have a headache, I’m gonna head to my room and rest for a bit.” You got up from your seat to leave the library and Mattheo did the same. If you weren’t feeling well then he needed to be by your side. “Oh, don’t Matt. I’ll be fine. I’ll ask Pansy to give me something against the pain and settle next to me until I fall asleep.” Mattheo stood perplexed as you just kissed him and left. Now he wasn’t even good enough to take care of you anymore.
This was the moment he snapped. With stern strides he follows you.
“Who is it?!” You frowned at the question and met Mattheo’s dark eyes. “Obviously, you’re done with me. So who’s better than me, huh?” His voice was filled with anger, but his question sounded so heartbreaking, that you felt no need to get angry with him for pushing you against the wall and snapping at you. You cup his cheeks and softly shake your head. “Matt, I love you. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Your voice is calm and endearing, reminding him of how much he needed your love. You were always so gentle with him and feeling you slip away the past week hurt so much that he felt like falling apart on the spot. He's too hurt and afraid to lose you to act tough and with a whisper he confesses his worries. “You don’t check up on me anymore. You don’t wish me luck before a test like you used to. We don’t cuddle anymore.” You stare at him in silence for a moment, you had never seen Mattheo this soft and vulnerable before. 
Your hands still resting on his cheeks move to his neck as you wrap your arms around him and pull him against you. Mattheo snuggles his face in your neck, embarrassed with himself and desperate for your warmth. You rest your head against his and your fingers move through his curls, making him sigh at your touch. “You told Draco I was a bit too much. So I backed off, because I didn’t want to lose you. I know I can get clingy sometimes, I’m sorry.” Mattheo moves away to look at you and his eyes look guilty. “No, no. Don’t apologise. Don’t be sorry. I love you clingy and cuddly. I need you to be around me.” Your eyebrows knit together. “But I heard you say-” Mattheo interrupts you and shakes his head. “I was being stupid. Don’t listen to the things I say. Just stay with me and love me… overwhelm me with everything you have.” You tilt your head in confusion. “No, I mean listen to me, just forget about what I said back then. I- I was trying to act tough so I pretended to- you know.” You chuckle. “You pretended not to like cuddles, because you wanted to be a tough guy?” Embarrassed with himself Mattheo nods. “I’m a softy for you and I need my daily dose of love. I don’t need space.” 
You sigh at Mattheo’s pouty face. “My boyfriend’s an idiot.” Mattheo nods and leans in for a kiss. “Please, let me take you to your room and let me take care of you, because I want nothing more than to be around you.” You pull him in for another intense kiss as an answer and as you walk to your dorm, he squeezes your hand the whole time walking.
Theodore
“Where’s my lady?” Theodore frowns as he sits down opposite of Blaise, who raises his shoulders without looking up from his book. Theo shakes his head in annoyance, he needed you like he needed cigarettes. He spent the whole day longing for your love and warm embraces. Merlin, all he wanted right now was for you to entangle your fingers with his hair and ask him about his day. “For once the two of you aren’t attached to the hip.” Mattheo quips and Draco snickers. “Must be refreshing to have a moment to yourself.” Theodore stays silent for a moment and a little further, near the common room entrance you halt in your step. “She’s so mothering, it’s almost toxic. I don’t know how you do it, mate.” Draco wiggles his eyebrows at Theo as Mattheo talks. “You know, if you ever need us to come save you, we could always come up with a code word.” Draco offers and Theodore chuckles, not knowing what to say. “It’s not toxic, but I’m happy to have a moment with you guys, because she can be a bit much. She’s always so… clingy.” You chew your lip and slowly take a step back, leaving the common room as the word ‘clingy’ rings in your head. 
***
You didn’t want to lose your boyfriend due to being too clingy. So you decided to keep your distance. 
Instead of spending your evening studying cuddled up with your boyfriend you ask Hermione to help you out with potions who of course never passes the opportunity to study. Keeping up his tough act in front of his friends, Theodore can’t protest as you leave the common room to go study with your friend instead of with him. Theo feels himself get cold as he sits by the fireplace with his friends. If you’re not there to keep him warm the room just feels empty and even the conversations are boring. He can’t help but curse himself for letting you go study with Hermione. Having to make peace with an evening without you, Theodore longs for the next day and having you next to him during breakfast while you talk about your plans for the day. 
The next morning, at breakfast Theo only gets a small kiss from you before you turn to Pansy gossiping about some third years. Theodore can’t resist but snake an arm around you and you love his touch, but you try not to be too clingy and decide to not fully lean against him. Your boyfriend is happy to have you next to him, but disappointed that you stay engaged with Pansy’s gossip instead of giving him some much needed attention. Why were you not combing his hair with your fingers until it looked the way you preferred it? Why were you not checking if he had done all his homework? What was so bloody interesting about Pansy’s conversation?!! He was getting so annoyed that he was caught by surprise when you kissed him tenderly and headed for class. His mind and body were screaming to have you back by his side and walk you to class, but he just turned to his breakfast and spent the morning sulking.
Finally, after two days, he had you close to him, settled on his bed with a book in your hand. You were all alone in his room and you both enjoyed the peace and quiet. You lay between his legs with his arms around you, while his head rested on yours, reading some of the paragraphs of your book but mostly taking in your warmth and scent. He gives you a soft kiss on your cheek and you smile and lean against his chest. “I love you.” You whisper and his eyes shine even brighter than he smiles. “Love you too.” However, your romantic moment is ruined when Blaise and Mattheo enter. “Astronomy tower?” Mattheo raises his eyebrows at Theo who is about to decline the invitation, but you speak up first. “I was just about to meet up with Luna.” You jump up and Theodore's eyes go furious at the suggestion of you leaving. “No you’re not.” Theo snaps at you, shaking everyone in the room. “Why are you so eager to get away from me?” Theo questions and Blaise and Mattheo’s eyes move from their friend to you. You take a step back at your boyfriend's accusation. “I’m not. I’m just giving you space so you can hang out with your friends.” Theo shoots Blaise and Mattheo a dark glare. “Out! Both of you!” 
As soon as the duo closes the door behind them and you and Theodore are left alone in the room Theodore gets up and towers over you. “I don’t want space, I want you. So tell me what’s going on, because I can’t stand it anymore.” His voice is stern, but you feel yourself relax as you no longer have to act differently and you can finally be honest with him. “You think I’m clingy and sometimes I’m too much… and I get that and I don’t want to lose you… so I did my best to give you some space in the hopes of saving our relationship.” Theodore’s heart aches at the soft tone of your voice. How could he make you feel like you were too much when you were all he wanted. “I’m such a shit boyfriend.” Theo sighs as he sits back down on his bed, making you frown and join him. “No, I was too much.” Theo’s head snaps to you. “You are not. I didn’t want those idiots to think I was whipped or soft or- so I said you were clingy, but you're not, if anything I am… I want you around 24/7.” Your eyes widen at his confession. “Soooo, you’re saying that ‘the’ Theodore Nott is so in love with me that he prefers cuddling over hanging with his friends.” Your boyfriend chuckles. “Yeah, so please just go back to reading in my arms and make me the happiest man alive.” You lean towards him and he meets your lips. The sweet kiss quickly turns passionate as you both fall back on the bed.
For the ones who asked to be tagged, here you go lovies: @ho3forfakeguys and @bitchoftoji
939 notes · View notes
dizscreams · 11 months
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can I request a hobie brown x fem reader where hobie swings to his friends apartment and knocks on her window and the reader has to patch him up and hobie is just kinda quiet because he hates people caring for him (he doesn’t want to be seen as a burden) but reader assures him its fine and maybe hobie confesses to her? <4
COUNT ON YOU
— Hobie Brown ★
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PAIRING: Hobie Brown x Fem!Reader
A/N: DISCLAIMER I’ve never read a single Spider-Man comic in my life, this is PURELY based off of what I saw in the movie. THIS IS VERY VERRRYYY OOC BUT enjoy! :)
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You were finishing up on homework, even though it was 2 in the morning. It wasn’t uncommon for you to stay up late to finish your assignments. It also wasn’t uncommon for your best friend Hobie to knock on your window injured.
You took off your headphones and looked to see where the knocking came from. You saw the familiar Spider-Man mask with spikes staring back at you through the glass. He was holding his side and his mask was a little beat up. You quickly got up and opened the window for him. “Hobie? Are you alright?”
He climbed inside your room and ripped off his mask, throwing it somewhere on the ground. “Yeah, just peachy,” he said, his voice was low and very clearly sarcastic. You frowned and gently grabbed his hand, “C’mon lets get you patched up.” He stepped back and took his hand away from your grasp shaking his head. “No, it’s alright.”
“Hobie, you’re bleeding. Lets go,” you told him firmly. Before he could respond you grabbed his hand and started walking to the bathroom. You flicked on the light and pointed to the toilet seat, “Sit.” He groaned but didn’t argue against it, he knew better than to argue with you this late. He could see the bags under your eyes as he observed you grabbing the first aid kit.
He sat down and you walked toward him, placing all your supplies on the bathroom counter before looking over at him. His face was cut and he had a wound on his side. You grabbed a rag, you ran water over it before kneeling in front of him. “You’re lucky it isn’t that bad, I’ve definitely had to help you with worse,” you chuckled looking up at him.
He only nodded in reply which you thought was weird but didn’t question. You focused back on cleaning the wound, luckily it wasn’t deep, but you could feel his burning gaze on you. You knew he didn’t like getting cared for like this but he was your best friend, it was basically your job to help him. “You know I want to help you right?” You asked softly, breaking the silence.
You looked up at him seeing a look of confusion on his face. You explained further, “I mean you don’t have to feel bad about me helping you all the time. Your job is dangerous and I’ll always be here help you out.” You offered him a small smile and he snickered, “You’re corny.” You playfully hit his knee and the both of you fell into a comfortable silence with small smiles on both of your faces.
You took a dry towel and dabbed at his side. Once you cleaned it you put on a bandaid. You stood up and smiled proudly, “There!” He nodded and stood up, about to walk out until you stopped him. “Wait-” you grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back down on the toilet seat. “You still have a cut on your face.”
“Just a small one, it don’t matter.”
You rolled your eyes, “I’ll treat it anyway.”
He glared at you but nodded, deciding that you might as well since you already cleaned his other one. He hated getting help and he hated people telling him what to do but he couldn’t help but let you. He wasn’t proud of it, honestly he was slightly embarrassed. But as long as he never admitted it out loud, he would be okay.
Except for the fact that he wanted to tell you how he felt.
He wanted to tell you he’s attracted to you and that he’s thought of being more than friends with you but he didn’t know how you felt about him. And it wasn’t like him to talk about his feelings, even to you. You began running the wet rag across his cheekbone gently. You made sure to wipe the blood off and clean the cut.
You noticed Hobie gulp and you looked at him, now noticing your close proximity. You smiled softly to yourself and continued your work on the cut. You grabbed a bandaid and put it on his cheek. Hobie slightly shivered at the contact but got up as soon as you were done. “Alright, cya later.” He walked out of the bathroom and went into your bedroom quickly.
“Woah woah woah, wait a minute,” you called out for him. He stopped in front of the window and turned around to look at you. “You’re just gonna leave? Not even a thank you?” You asked. He pointed at you, “Thank you, now goodnight!” He turned around to the window again but you pulled his arm and pulled him back to face you. “What’s gotten into you? You’re acting weird.”
“Not that weird.”
“Pretty weird.”
He tossed his head back and huffed out a breath. You raised your eyebrows waiting for him to give you a clear answer. He slowly lifted his head back up to look at you. He stepped a fraction closer to you, now close enough to able to feel your body heat. He examined your features for a moment before shaking his head.
“Nothing. Night.” He swiftly grabbed his mask off the floor and opened the window. “Bye Hobie,” you said quietly. He looked back at you and then forward again. He put on his mask and in a flash he was gone. You flopped on your bed and covered your face with your hands.
You stayed like that for a moment thinking about the interaction you just had. You shook your head to clear your thoughts and pulled the covers over you, ready to sleep. What you weren’t aware of was Hobie peaking his head to look into your window. It was too late to tell you about his feelings now, so he’d tell you another time! Probably in a year or two.
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5K notes · View notes
hyunsvngs · 7 months
Text
kinktober !
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kink: period sex
pairing: lee minho x fem!reader
wc: 2.6k
period sex: sexual activity that happens while at least one partner is menstruating or on their period.
It was the worst form of torture. Every month, your period would leave you feeling the horniest you’d ever felt, and it was even worse when you had a sex god boyfriend who would walk around looking so tasty. In all honesty, he could walk around wearing anything and it’d still have you wanting to shove your hand down your panties and get yourself off. But you couldn’t. Not while he was there, being so lovely and caring for you through the most horrible cramps you’d ever felt in your life.
“How are you feeling now, baby?” Minho murmured. You’d been laying practically on top of him, a cat shaped hot water bottle trapped between your stomachs as you half-watched the movie that was on. You’d been too horny to even pay attention to it, and you weren’t even sure what the fucking thing was called. Minho had been watching, though. He was a stranger to your internal suffering. 
“I’m comfy, thanks, Min,” You replied, kissing his cheek. You didn’t miss the way the tips of his ears still burned red, even after so long. He was so cute, but you wanted his dick. Time to change the subject. “I hate cramps. They’re awful, y’know? They say dark chocolate helps.”
“Want me to get you some? I can drive to the shop,” Minho asked, his hand rubbing circles on the small of your back. You hummed, shaking your head.
“I don’t even like dark chocolate, it was just something stupid I saw years ago,” You said, and Minho chuckled, shaking his head fondly. Then, he turned to you, his eyes soft as he looked you up and down. He always looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen - even when you were suffering an intense period-caused acne breakout and wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of fluffy pyjama bottoms. 
“I heard something similar,” He began, biting his lip. “I heard orgasms help. Have you tried getting yourself off, baby?”
Oh, he was too sweet. Always looking for solutions to make you feel better. “Well… Min, I can’t exactly get myself off while you’re here. That’d be weird.”
“I’d love every second of it,” He was serious, but you still giggled, poking his cheek playfully. “Baby, in all seriousness, if you want me to fuck you, I will. A bit of blood will not bother me.”
You blinked, leaning up. “You’d really do that?”
Minho chuckled, kissing you chastely. “It’s blood, baby. It’s really not a big deal. I’ll lay a towel down.”
You stared at him for a moment, and he stared back, raising an eyebrow in questioning. Then, you yanked the fluffy cat hot water bottle out from between you and kissed him. He just deserved a kiss for that, but he still let out a little ‘mmph’ in shock at your boldness. “Minho,” You mumbled against his lips, and he hummed in response. “I’m so fucking horny, you don’t even understand. Every fucking period, you walk around looking so hot, and I could’ve just asked this whole time?”
“Baby, I look like this all month,” He chuckled, kissing you again. “Honestly though, yeah. You could’ve just asked, dummy.”
“Oh my God,” You sighed, curling into him more to kiss his neck. He let you mouth your way down his soft skin, and you sucked a mark into his collarbone where you knew it wouldn’t be seen. He scoffed out a laugh, his hand moving to rub over your ass instead. “Oh my God, Minho, get a fucking towel.”
He was still laughing when he stood up, shaking his head as he grabbed an old towel from his wardrobe. You belatedly realised that oh, he’d see the blood, and you were starting to feel a little less confident. When you hadn’t moved from the bed to let him lay the towel down, he tilted his head at you in confusion. 
“You can’t look, okay?” You gushed, jumping up from the mattress. Minho bit his lip, hiding a laugh. You pouted, stomping your feet in a mild tantrum. “I’m going to pull my pants down, and you have to close your eyes, because there will be blood on my pad. Okay?”
“Baby,” Minho shut his eyes, shaking his head. When he opened them again, you could see the amusement in them, and it made you pout even harder. “I’d be shocked if there wasn’t blood on your pad, y’know? Given that you’re on your period.”
“Well, yeah, but still-”
“Come here,” He commanded. You couldn’t deny that tone of voice, even if you were mid-tantrum and shy. You walked over to him, and he tossed the towel onto the bed, wrapping his arm around your waist. You let him kiss down your neck like he’d done to you, biting at the skin and humming when you let out a choked noise. “I think you’re so fucking sexy, you know that?”
“You’re sexy,” You protested, and he shook his head against your skin. He pulled away from your neck, using two fingers to get you to look into his eyes. You were practically melting. 
“I’m gonna get you naked the way I always do,” He said, and his tone was firm. You wanted to protest, to make a big deal, but he shook his head before you could even speak. “I’m going to get you naked the way I always do. I’m gonna take my time worshipping those tits, and then I’m going to fuck you and get you to cream nice and wet on my cock. I do not care about blood. Okay?”
You blinked. You couldn’t even argue with that, really. “Okay.”
“God, you’re so good for me, aren’t you?” He murmured, his eyes dark and staring directly into yours. “Letting me fuck you like this. What a good fucking girl, huh?”
“I need you so bad,” You whimpered, and Minho chuckled. You gasped when he wrapped his hand around your throat, a light pressure but there nonetheless, and then he was kissing you. It was different to his soft, loving kisses on the bed, his tongue demanding dominance inside your mouth and making you whine. You couldn’t protest when he ran his hands up your back underneath your shirt, and you definitely couldn’t protest when his hands gripped your ass firmly. He was such a fucking wet dream.
You watched in awe as he yanked his shirt off from behind his neck, revealing planes of milky skin and toned biceps. You didn’t even hide your gaze, your eyes running over him in delight as you felt the arousal pool in your stomach. He pushed you back against the bed, somehow landing you directly on top of the towel as he made quick work of your shirt. You weren’t wearing a bra for comfort purposes, and he made a sound akin to a growl as he saw your tits, nipples pebbled against the cold chill of the room. 
“Baby, these tits,” He moaned, grabbing them both with his hands. “They’re fuller, huh?”
“It’s the period,” You gasped, letting him tweak your nipples with his fingers almost painfully. He knew how you liked it. “You like them?”
“I like them every fucking day,” He responded quickly, wrapping his lips around one of the buds and sucking. You let out a choked noise, feeling the sensitivity of them from your current state. Minho perked up, grinning. “Are they sensitive?”
“I think every part of me is fucking sensitive, God, please fuck me,” You gushed, spreading your legs and letting him get between them. Minho chuckled, letting his tongue run over your nipple again. 
His fingers went to the waistband of your fluffy rabbit pyjama bottoms, playing with the fabric. He raised an eyebrow at you, and his facial expression was soft, fond. “Can I take these off, baby?”
You bit your lip. “Only if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure I want to fuck you all the time, so yes,” He said, grinning. You held your breath as he pulled your pants down, taking your underwear with them and tossing them to the floor. He hadn’t looked, and you knew he did it to make you feel comfortable. You loved him so much it made your heart swell. His eyes dragged down your body, his hand stroking softly over your tummy and eyes landing on your pussy. Oh, God. “Fucking beautiful. You’re so beautiful.”
“Can you get naked now?” You shifted impatiently. Minho smiled, nodding, and then he was pulling his own bottoms down. You were more than delighted to see he’d foregone underwear, cock springing out and looking solid. You leaned forward instantly, letting your lips brush his as you wrapped your hand round the base of his cock, the trimmed hairs tickling your skin. “This fucking cock. It’s so amazing.”
“He likes you too,” Minho mumbled against your lips, kissing them chastely. “You gonna jerk me off a bit, baby?”
You sighed. “I wanna suck it, to be honest.”
Minho shook his head, letting his hand fall to yours and moving it on his shaft. “I will cum instantly if you suck me off right now,” He admitted, leaning down to run his tongue over your nipple again. You jolted, moaning and starting to pump his cock steadily. You tightened your hand a little bit more at the tip, just the way he likes it, and his cock leaked just a bit of precum in approval. “Something about this, baby. The way you trust me so much. I think I could die.”
You giggled, moving your hands to pull him in at his waist. “I think I’ll die if you don’t fuck me. I need to cum on your cock so bad.”
“Yeah?” Minho asked, but the look on his face told you he was very aware. He positioned his cock at your pussy, letting the tip run through your folds teasingly. “I think I’ll fuck you then.”
“God, do you want me to beg?” You huffed, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I’m not above begging.”
“I know, I have you begging for it every night,” He mused, and then he was pushing inside. The stretch startled you, and you moaned loudly, making Minho chuckle. He bottomed out easily, the slide wet and your pussy more than pliant for him. You were sure your pussy was moulded to the shape of his cock at that point. “How do you want it? Tell me, baby.”
“I- oh, deep, hard?” You said, voice lilted as if it was a question. “Give it to me the way I like it, you know.”
“Yeah?” Minho asked, starting to thrust into you steadily. You moaned, clenching tight on his cock. You were so sensitive, unabashed moans and whines falling from parted lips and echoing around Minho’s room. “You want me to call you my slut, so desperate for my cock? You want me to fuck you senseless?”
“Oh, oh-” You keened, and Minho laughed, kissing your neck. His cock was solid, hard inside of you, and the way he was thrusting into you was such a smooth, slick slide that it had you wanting to cum instantly. 
“Yeah, you are my slut, aren’t you?” He murmured against your skin, and when he pulled away to look at you, you were left breathless. His hair was dark, flopping over his forehead but not obscuring his beautiful features, his pouty lips parted and exposing his cute bunny teeth. They pressed at his bottom lip as he fucked into you, and when you looked into his dark, feline eyes, all you could see was love. You couldn’t help but moan, nodding. You let your fingers grip onto his biceps for stability. “I know, I know, baby. Let me take care of you.”
You gasped as he pushed his thumb into your mouth, and you were quick to suck on it dutifully, running your tongue over his digit. He pressed it in deep, swirling it around your tongue and staring at you with half-lidded eyes. You startled when he reached down, rubbing your clit with his thumb. “Min, the blood-”
“Ssh,” He urged you, shaking his head. He pushed one leg back with his other hand, letting it fall over his shoulder and fucking you deeper with his thumb massaging circles into your sensitive bud. “I know how to make this pussy cum, don’t I?”
“Yeah, yeah, you do,” You agreed, nodding. His chest pushed your thigh into your tits, leaning over you to kiss you once, filthily and deep. His thumb didn’t let up and neither did his thrusts, his cock bullying into your hole over and over and making you whine. “Jesus, Minho, your cock is fucking amazing.”
“It’s all yours, baby,” Minho’s voice was strained, hips stuttering against you. “Baby, you’re so wet, I don’t know if I can hold out.”
“Min, please,” You begged, eyes bleary. “I’m- I need to cum, Minho.”
“Fuck, fuck, yeah, I know,” He gasped, eyes rolling back into his head. It was a rare sight seeing Minho pussydrunk - he normally held out for a lot longer than you did, but clearly the added wetness on his cock was a little bit too much for him. “Feel me, baby. Focus on my cock. It’s so fucking hard for you, yeah?”
“Yeah,” You gasped, bucking your hips into his thrusts. He pinched your clit meanly, smirking when it made you squeal. Your chest heaved, a sheen of sweat forming on your skin. 
“Gorgeous fucking girl. Your little pussy always needs me, kitty,” He moaned, grunting into your neck with every thrust. You were getting close, his ministrations too much to handle when combined with his filthy words. “Fuckin’ slut. My slut, yeah? Always needing me, needing my fucking cock inside of you.”
You whined, nodding. You’d started to bounce on his cock now, letting him pinch and rub your clit to send you into oblivion. “Always need it, oh, oh, Min, mean, be mean-”
“Be mean, kitty?” He scoffed. You gasped when he moved his hand from your thigh, and then he was slapping you across the face, a light slap but definitely there nonetheless. Your eyebrows furrowed, lips parting. “Got me pussydrunk, kitty. Fucking minx.”
“‘M gonna cum, Minho,” You warned, your sopping walls fluttering around his cock happily. “I’m gonna fucking cum, you’re gonna make me cum, oh-”
“Yeah?” He moaned, his noises getting higher in pitch. He was getting close. “I’m gonna cum with you. Do you want it? Do you want my cum?”
“Always want your cum, oh, breed me, Min, I’ll soak your cock-”
You let out a loud whine, digging your fingernails into his shoulders almost painfully as you came. You felt your pussy gushing on your boyfriend’s cock, soaking his length and moaning like a fucking pornstar all the way through your orgasm. Minho tensed, his hands grabbing your hips. His hips stopped completely, cock bottomed out inside you as he filled you with his cum. 
He collapsed on you, his weight a welcomed addition. “I’m not g’na pull out yet ‘cause I know you’ll get shy,” He mumbled, kissing your sweaty skin. You giggled, nodding. 
“Do you wanna take a bath?” You asked, running your fingers up his back. 
“I can’t think of anything better, baby,” He sighed. “I said I was going to fuck you senseless but I think you’ve just fucked me.”
“On the upside, my cramps are gone,” You grinned. Minho looked up at you, kissing your nose fondly. 
“Let me know if they’re back,” He said, eyes earnest. “I’ll just have to fuck you again, since you don’t like dark chocolate.”
“Really hate the stuff,” You hummed, nodding. “I like you though.”
Minho giggled, his nose scrunching up cutely. “I like you too, baby.”
3K notes · View notes
stariikis · 24 days
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what's your ETA?
synopsis ; in a crowded train headed towards your friend's art showcase, you and your boyfriend are caught in an awkward position.
pairing ; non-idol!nishimura riki x fem!reader genre ; fluff, established rs, literal forced proximity wc ; 1180 warnings ; kissing (a lil bit in public), lots of teasing, and mentions of height difference..
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“I swear, if you make one more cup of coffee and insist you have to drink it before we go, I'll personally push you onto the train tracks.”
Nearly spitting out his beverage, Riki swallows abruptly and coughs. “Now, I would say I’m used to your violent tendencies, but that’s just gory. But I’d honestly like to see it.” His eyes shine with an unsettling excitement that has you blinking rapidly. 
“You won’t be alive to see it…” You tilt your head and feign confusion. In reality, this is both your way of flirty banter. Since Riki just loves to tease you, you believe it’s only fair that you should be allowed to tease back. However, your version of teasing is questionably rude at times, way worse than any fireball of quips Riki showers you with. 
“You wanna go or not?” Riki sighs, his mug making a clunking sound on the table when he puts it down. “I’m ready to just sit here and argue with you until night — I’m not the one desperate to see Sunoo’s art exhibition.” 
“No, I swear it’s not because I’m desperate to go. You’re the one who’s closer to him though?” You shake your head and frown in bewilderment. “Fake friend.” 
Riki whips around in his seat. “Pick me!”
”Bad boyfriend!” You erupt into laughter and lunge forward to ruffle his hair. 
Playing along, Riki gets up and pushes you gently away from him. But at the same time his fingers grab ahold of your wrist, holding you close, like he doesn’t really mean it. He’s casting the bait, eyes that look deeply and adoringly into yours glimmering with enthusiasm. 
“You’re taking it to heart. Don’t take it to heart,” he murmurs, and leans in to kiss you, voice dropping down to a low. “Pathological liar.” Before you have time to protest, he giggles, hugging you close as if daring you to spit out another one of your alleged, ‘lies’. 
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When you both reach the station, its difficult to see through the sardine-packed crowd of people in front of you. “It… is so crowded,” you tiptoe to be able to whisper in Riki’s ear – and even that’s not enough, he has to lean down with a huff of amusement for you to reach. “Why is it so crowded today?” 
Shrugging his shoulders loosely, Riki slips his hand into yours, squeezing it tight. “You’re the one who wanted to go to this art show.” He mutters quietly. “Kim Sunoo’s, no less. You know we can just ask him to conduct a private show for us?” 
“Is supporting your friends a concept nonexistent to you?” You snap, feigning irritation but responding by rubbing your thumb over his. Your boyfriend pretends to be hurt by this, staggering backwards as much as he can in the crowd. His free hand clutching his chest, the playful atmosphere set by your banter fades when he looks at you. Wearing a gentle smile, he leads you into the train when the doors and gates slide open. 
He manages to secure you both a spot along the wall near the right-hand-side doors. You can tell by the guilt in his eyes that he wants to find you a seat too, but you’re probably going to get dirty looks from the elderlies if you do so. Luckily, he saves you the social torture and doesn’t force you to take a seat. 
The first few stops the train makes are still bearable. Riki is squashed a little too close for comfort at times, caging you in against the wall while you just stare ahead as if nothing’s happening. You ignore the tingles the situations send, all the way from your neurons down to your toes. However, when the crowd dissolves as they alight at their respective stations, you can breathe a sigh of relief. 
Like usual, Riki makes a snide remark about your morning breath (even though you’re quite certain your dental routine is competent), and returns to scroll on his phone. What disheartens you, though, is how genuinely uninterested he seems in Sunoo’s exhibit. And how bored he seems to be, despite being here with you. 
There’s a nonchalant faze across his face as he scrolls social media, leaning in close with a hand adjusting its grip on the grab bar next to you. You tilt your head, chest starting to ache. Does he really not care as much as you’d like to think he does? To not even feel an ounce of excitement in this moment? 
The train screeches to a halt as if agreeing with your intrusive thoughts. There’s still a long way to travel downtown to where the exhibit is held, and unfortunately for you, this is the most crowded station the train has stopped at by far. So many people pour into the carriage that it’s not even five seconds before Riki’s whole body is pressed up against yours. 
He drops the arm holding his phone down to his side. 
People are pushing you on both sides, and suddenly there’s a wave of gratefulness that you’re not stuck in the middle of the carriage. As if your current situation isn’t painful enough. Your boyfriend can’t meet your eyes, and it’s not surprising. With your noses mere inches apart (only because of the height difference), even you, usually assertive and confident, have to look into the distance. 
“Sorry…” Riki says in a hushed tone, moving his lips closer to your ear. His head has practically dropped down onto your shoulder, and you can feel yourself filled with vigorous tremors. He slips his phone into his back pocket, and the hand previously holding it snakes protectively around your waist. You blink up at him, expecting a warm look down, but all you’re met with is narrowed eyes carefully scanning the surroundings. 
His neck still dipped downwards, he hugs you close when the final few people slip into the train. Clearly feeling you shaking, he hums soothingly into your ear, “you’re safe”. “You have me.” “Don’t be too scared.” Anything else he says goes in one ear and goes out the other. 
Because. In such a situation, what would you expect your boyfriend to proceed to do? a), Accept fate and stay in position, b), shyly turn away from the deathly awkwardness, or c), giggle and tilt his head to pepper kisses along your neck? 
Riki chose C. 
He’s so gross, you think, but only when you’re stumbling out the train and running all the way to Sunoo’s exhibit to save yourself from remembering the situation more. Why did he ever do that? I should have shoved him away and called him a pervert and acted as if I didn’t know him. 
What a lie — when he was pressing a final kiss against your cheek your first thought wasn’t even remotely close to wanting to shove him away. Rather, you had pouted, arms wrapped around his neck, because he’s going to have to make up for being both indifferent towards you and making you so late. 
(It is never really his fault.)
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thank you for reading! i'm so sorry for the lack of uploads recently, life has just gotten a little bit busier and i finally got a lil break so i decided to write this prompt i thought of a while back!
more of my works >
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tsumtsumrry · 8 months
Text
Doctor's Orders
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before i say anything else, huge thank you to @victoria-styles for the idea and inspiration, i really hope you enjoy.
WC: 2.8k
warning(s): afab descriptions and she/her pronouns, language, sexual content (fingering), extremely inappropriate relationship with gynecologist (just a work of fiction if your gyno starts to finger you please call the cops lol)
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Your eyes and ears are completely tuned in to the sound of the clock ticking on the wall next to the big flat-screen TV. You obsessively check the time every couple of minutes in anxiety that your appointment will come sooner than you thought. 
As soon as you made the appointment you regretted it. You’re an incredibly shy person, you keep to yourself and your two friends that you made in college who never strayed. And you know that it’s so dumb and so childish and irresponsible, but the mere idea of having to go to a place where a person sticks something up your parts is just too much for you. 
Your fingers are starting to feel raw from picking at them and you tilt your head up to the ceiling and blow out a frustrated breath. You wish your anxiety didn’t make doing everyday, human things so difficult for you. It’s even worse that the only time you’ve come to the gynecologist, it’s for something you deem kind of embarrassing. 
One day, you got home from work, exhausted and irritated, you got under the covers, imagined your favorite sexy scenario, waited for the sparks, and…nothing. Just nothing. It felt like you were trying to finish for hours and hours and you got nothing. And since then, nothing’s been able to do it for you. And for some anxiety-boggotten reason, you absolutely refuse to buy a sexy toy online or anything like that. Some crazy part of your mind thinks that the Amazon driver knows exactly what you would have in there and you can’t bear to see their face when they hand you your package. 
So after a grueling couple of months, you finally caved, and here you are, at the gynecologist. 
The sound of a door opening tears your attention away from the clock, and your heart immediately drops, a pit forming deep in your stomach. You almost want to squeeze your eyes shut and cross your fingers in hopes that your name isn’t called, but you’re in public, so you don’t. Instead, you hold your breath and look at the lady who just came out, praying that it isn’t you. 
She calls your name. You release a breath. 
“That’s me.” Your voice comes out shaky. She’s looking down at her tablet as you walk up to her but when she looks up, it’s like she notices your nervousness and gives you a sympathetic but encouraging smile. 
She takes you back and sits you down in a chair, “just gonna take your vitals, honey.” Her voice is soothing, like a mother, and you’re glad she’s the person you’re interacting with before the doctor that you’re so scared about. You look around the room as she does her work and you notice, the place is decorated really nicely. As if it had a woman’s touch. You know that more than one doctor works here, but you wonder if yours is going to be a woman, honestly that would make you feel a little better. 
She finishes rather quickly after asking you some questions about your medical history and things of the sort, and then her cadence changes, “Is it okay if I touch you?” She asks. You frown in confusion but nod. She places her hand on your arm and squeezes, “I know that this is your first time and I can tell that you’re really nervous, but trust me, Dr. Styles is the best we’ve got. He’s incredibly professional and kind, he’ll make you feel comfortable. And it’s better for you if you relax anyway.” She smiles gently, giving your arm one last squeeze before she picks up her stuff and walks towards the door.
Before she leaves, she turns around, leaning against the slightly ajar door, and shoots you a teasing smirk, “I’ll make sure to tell him to be extra gentle with you, dear.” And with that, she leaves. She’s sweet. And she definitely made you feel much better about the whole thing. 
It’s only a couple minutes of just a little internal freaking out before the door opens and your senses are automatically overtaken with a waft of strong cologne. 
“Alright…what do we have here…ah!” Your name falls perfectly from his lips, and an involuntary smile graces your face at his apparent goofy nature and the smile only grows when he grins back at you, dimples poking in his stubbly cheeks. 
“How are you feeling today? Hannah told me you were looking a bit nervous before. Has any of that subsided or do I need to do some breathing exercises with you?” He quips brilliantly. I guess being a doctor he’s well aware that laughter is the best medicine.
“I’m doing okay, actually. Much better.” Your voice comes out soft, unable to get it any louder than that. He gives you an approving smile and then offers his hand out for you to shake it. 
“M’name is Dr. Harry Styles. You can call me Harry, Dr. Styles, or Doc. Whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m personally fine with it all. I know your name already and…” he blows out a breath with his eyes comically wide “...basically your entire medical history so I think it’s safe to say we’re well acquainted!” You take his hand and shake it softly, a small giggle leaving your lips. You don’t miss the way he glances down at the contact. His hand feels nice. And you know it’s weird to be thinking that about your doctor, especially when that same hand will probably be somewhere near your genitals in the next couple of minutes, but his hand feels really nice against yours. Calloused and sturdy, yet gentle and soft.
You appreciate how he immediately got in tune with how cracking jokes made you more comfortable. It feels like extra effort to you and a warm feeling blooms in your chest at how attentive he is. You can tell that he cares about his patients and takes pride in his job, and it makes you feel so much more comfortable. 
“Okay m’darling. Says you’re here for a regular check up. Are you sure there’s no concerns? Nothing we should be worryin’ about? S’more helpful if you tell me now so I know what to look for.” His hand goes out to motion you to lie down on the examination table. You oblige and he grins at you again, waiting for your response. 
“Oh um…it’s nothing really just a very minor issue…” his eyes flick down to the movement of you fidgeting with your fingers and he presses his lips together and sighs, he looks up at you for permission before he takes your hands in his and starts to press them out with his.
 “This is okay, yeah?” he questions softly, nodding along with you when you nod, “I absolutely need you to relax, darling. This’ll be so much easier if you’re relaxed and calm. Need you to loosen up. Do that for me?”
You nod and try your best to follow his instructions. Something about his hands on yours and his gentle voice filling your ears only makes it that much easier. And you have a feeling he knows that. 
“There you go, honey. Now tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better.” 
“I just…ever since like a month ago, I haven’t really been able to um…finish. And ever since then I’ve barely been able to get turned on… or wet. Is that normal? Because I was fine before but all of a sudden I just…couldn’t anymore. It just feels like something might be wrong with me.” You let out a huge breath after you’ve finally revealed your problem. And as much as it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, it also terrifies you what his reaction is going to be. 
He doesn’t even blink. You imagine he’s dealt with things like this before, and you’re not surprised that he has little to no reaction. It’s literally his job. You figure you shouldn’t have been this nervous to begin with.
“Don’t worry m’darling. We’ll figure it out.” he coos, his thumbs rubbing softly on your knuckles, “alright. Let’s get started shall we?” 
You had already put your surgical gown on before he got here so all he has to do is lift the bottom up and get to business. And that’s exactly what he does. He puts his gloves on and lifts your gown on, his brows furrowed in concentration and his lips pursed in a cute pout.
He feels around, brushing his fingers through your folds. You jerk when his fingers brush your clit in a feather-light touch. He rolls his lips into his mouth briefly and you suddenly wish a hole would open right now and swallow you into the floor. You try not to, but you can’t stop ogling his concentrated face. He bites the inside of his cheek and squints his eyes slightly as he takes a closer look, “s’perfect, honey. Everything looks fine.” 
“Gotta figure out what’s going on with you though, hm?” He looks you right in the eyes as he says it, his hand resting on your thigh dangerously close to your cunt and you nod quickly, taking deep breaths in as quietly as you can. Something about the way he’s looking at you, handling you, talking to you, it’s got your stomach warming, and your core tingling in a way that you’ve sorely missed. He’s touching you like he wants you.
He gently talks you through the speculum, using his hand rubbing softly on your thigh and his voice to calm you down. After he’s done he praises you softly and heat blooms in your chest.
“Still shy on me?” he teases, turning around. He starts to fiddle with his things on the desk, picking a bottle of lube and squeezing it on his finger. You immediately hold a breath. This is the part where he’ll actually be inside you. All words that you could have said in response to his teasing are immediately stolen from your lips, all you can do is wait there in anticipation as he gets himself ready for you. 
“M’kay, darling”, he returns to you, placing his free hand on your thigh, “just gonna check on you. That okay?” 
“Mhm.” You feel like an idiot, unable to speak to your literal doctor because for some reason he’s got you feeling things you haven’t felt in months. 
“I’d prefer it if you used your words.” 
“Yes, Dr. Styles.” You manage to get the words out and he offers you a proud grin. When he pulls your gown up again, he sucks in a breath, his pupils dilating. He looks back up at you and it’s like you can feel the condescension in his gaze before he even opens his mouth. 
“Oh honey…nothing’s wrong with you.” He strokes his finger through your folds, eyes honed in on your cunt and a far-away look in his eyes as if he’s mesmerized by it. He presses his fingers at your entrance and you suck in a breath, “you’re okay, honey. S’okay.” He soothes you as he slowly slides his finger in. Both of your mouths part from the tight stretch. A soft puff of breath leaves his lips and a soft moan leaves yours. 
The second the sound leaves your mouth, your cheeks flame in embarrassment, you whisper out a slew of apologies and he only shushes you. His thumb on his free hand stroking your thigh soothingly. His finger leaves you until it reaches the knuckle, then it pushes right back into you, ripping a sharp gasp from your throat. 
“Shh shh. Just takin’ care of you like I’m supposed to.” He curls his finger up inside of you and a shaky moan leaves your throat. As soon as he hits that sensitive spot inside you, it’s like all of the orgasms you could’ve been having in the past few months come back to consume you tenfold. Your jaw hangs open as he starts to move his fingers faster, playing with you like a damn fiddle. 
“How’s that feel, honey? Feels like you’re better already. Made such a mess and you’re already squeezing me so tight.” Every word that leaves his lips goes straight to your cunt, his husky deep voice releases a cage of butterflies in your stomach, and when he coaxes a second finger inside of you and adjusts his hand so his thumb rubs against your clit, it immediately feels as if you’re about to burst. 
“Oh god—Dr. Styles.” You shriek out. 
“Harry, honey. Say Harry. Say m’name while I’m making you cum.” He demands, his fingers fucking you harder and robbing the breath from your lungs. You manage to stutter out his name and an approving groan leaves his lips, “look at you, honey, following the doctor’s orders. Such a good girl.” 
The warm feeling brews in your tummy before it starts to spread and bloom in your whole body. Your body tenses up to brace yourself for the intense amounts of pleasure you know you’re about to feel and a staccato of moans leaves your bitten lips. 
“Don’t fight it, honey. Let yourself have it. You deserve this.” It’s amazing how he can expertly coax you through an expressively powerful climax with his words, he knows exactly what to say to you and what tone to say it in to make you putty in his hands, “know you’ve needed this for so long. S’been so hard, hm? Bet this pussy was aching without someone to take care of it. Let me take care of it, darling. Cum all over my fingers like I know you can.” 
You can almost taste it, it climbs and it climbs, your stomach tensing and your thighs shaking, each firm rub against your g-spot makes you crumble and it swirls and sparks in your tummy. Light tremors turn into full-body shudders when the build-up of pleasure finally explodes like an earthquake. You moan brokenly, your voice cracking as you gasp for air and let yourself feel the pleasure you’ve been missing.  
He talks you through it, leading you through the most powerful orgasm you think you’ve ever had. You instantly feel the tension leave your body with it. He takes away all the pent-up frustration and dissatisfaction with every word and movement of his hand. 
It’s when he keeps going that it begins to border on the painful side of painful pleasure. That sexy concentrated look is back on his face as he pulses his fingers faster inside you with a second wind of determination. 
A pained whine leaves your throat and your hand shoots out to grab his arm. You attempt to tug him away and squirm away from his touch, but he doesn’t relent. He uses his other hand to pin you down and your other hand shoots up to your mouth so the scream that you let out isn’t heard throughout the whole office. 
“Take it. We’ve got to make sure you’re better. Cum again for me.” Your legs shake uncontrollably. You’ve never felt pleasure so intense that it hurts before, and it’s making you feel like your brain has liquified. You fully give in to him, your body submits and you let him play with your body exactly how he wants. 
Before you know it, he’s driven you over the peak again. Your head falls back onto the exam table, thoroughly exhausted. He smiles gently at you, so innocent and nonchalant, as if he didn’t just completely ruin you on his fingers a minute before. His pointer finger brushes against your cheek before his hand cradles your face. 
“You’re all better then, yeah?” His voice is soft and comforting, it fills your tummy with warmth, and you suddenly have the urge to let him talk to you sleep as he holds you right here on the exam table, “think you’re my new favorite patient.” He whispers with a smirk.
He lets you get up and shakily put back on your clothes. And in all honesty, you’re surprised you can walk right now.
He took such good care of you. You naturally feel indebted to him and you start to thank him but he just holds up his hand and stops you with an incredulous look on his face. 
“No need to thank me, darling. Just doing my job.” He assures. “The only thanks I need is you coming back here next time you need my help.” 
After all your stuff is packed and you’re walking towards the door of the exam room, his voice stops you. You turn around to face him and you’re met with his gorgeous face. He wears a gentle smile but teasing eyes. When he speaks you immediately know that his words have promise written between the lines.
“Drive safe, honey. M’looking forward to your next appointment.”
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thekitsunesiren · 3 months
Text
Dc x Dp #43
(Here's my spin on the existing in another universe as a cartoon plot)
Danny stared at Clockwork with wide eyes as the ancient ghost told him the truth about the universe he had just visited.
He thought that it would've been another alternate universe that had a Dan that he needed to fight and stop from coming to his. But no. No, instead he landed into a universe of his favorite comic book series. DC Comics.
When he came through the portal, he instantly recognized the city that was known as Gotham and its dreary atmosphere that he's only seen in the various comics he kept on his bedroom shelf.
At first, he was excited. DC was real. That means that Batman and the Robins were real. Gasp. He could meet Martian Manhunter.
His fanboying was cut short when the sound of a grappling hook and light footsteps reached his ears caused him to look down and see who it was.
Batman. In the flesh, covered by his long cape and the darkness of the city around him. Honest to Ancients it was Batman! And Nightwing was there as well! Danny was going to die again!
Danny hesitated on approaching as he didn't know how they would react to him being in Gotham all of a sudden. Honestly, other than Deadman, Danny didn't know about anymore ghosts in DC.
What he didn't expect was for Nightwing-Nightwing!-to point to him and mention how he had a good Danny Phantom cosplay? Does that mean he was a hero in the DC world too and that he had fans? Awesome!
He didn't have time to question it as another portal opened and Danny was quick to take it, not wanting to be attacked by his favorite characters.
He definitely had to tell Clockwork about this.
-
"What do you mean I'm a cartoon in other universes?" The halfa asked the ancient of time, feeling as if his entire world was being flipped upside down for Ancient's know how many times already.
Clockwork gave the same smile that showed he knew something that he didn't. An expression that Danny knew all too well.
"Did you truly think that your universe was the only one out there, Daniel? There are
"But all you talk about are timelines
"There are many universes out there, Daniel. All of them have their own stories, their own people, and their own endings that they shall meet when the time is right. But, even then, other universes can exist in them as well. They are simply not physical."
Danny tilted his head at the last part, eye brows furrowing in confusion.
"Physical?" He repeated.
Clockwork nodded. His form shifting from his young looking self to that of his older version with the elongated beard.
"Physical, Daniel. Like how their universe, DC as you call it, your or a version of your universe exist in theirs as a cartoon. Many universes when clashed are too powerful for one universe to handle on their own if they were real, so they exist in forms of novels, shows, movies, even comic books, to allow their existence to prosper. They will be able to exist peacefully without causing any true harm to the universe and causing mass disasters that would happen if they existed on the same plane."
As he listened, his eyes widened in awe. Multiple universes that existed like that. That means there has to be a chance where there was a him that actually existed in the DC world other than being a cartoon.
While lost in thought, his eyes suddenly widened as a thought occurred to him. "Wait! If I'm a cartoon in their world that means that they just need to watch the show and find out all about me. My weaknesses, my past, the ghost zone, everything!" And boy, wasn't that a thought. He didn't want the Batfamily looking up his show and discovering how to beat him. Worse, how he died.
Clockwork simply raised a hand to stop his worrying tirade.
"Peace, Daniel. While your life may be a cartoon, it isn't all there. I've seen small glimpses, and it doesn't compare to your life. Various relationships, parts of your life, your powers, all of it could be underplayed or over exaggerated. While some could be true, they would still have to nitpick through it to find out the bits that are. Just like you would have to with those comic books to determine how much is real and fiction as well."
Hearing that, Danny did calm down some. Placing a hand on his chest with a sigh of relief.
"That is good then. i thought I was gonna die a second time."
The halfa floated closer to Clockwork as his old form turned back to his adult form, red eyes watching the young ghost as
"Though there's one more thing I gotta ask, Clockwork?"
"Yes, Daniel?"
"How many seasons did my show get?"
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itsss4t4n · 2 months
Text
Safe with You - Regulus Black x potter! reader
a/n: THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT. (6558 words)
warnings: mention of abuse, smoking, hurt/comfort, kissing, background wolfstar and (barely mentioned) rosekiller
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You didnt remember a time where Regulus Black didnt hate you.
Being James Potters younger sibling, most of his friends were also yours, so when sirius started talking about how much he hates his family , including Regulus you didnt question it much, but you never really had anything against him personally.
But it didnt help that, from the beginning of yours and Regulus first year he was pretty much a dickhead. He made it a point to be better than everyone and to tell them so. 
That started a rivalry between the both of you. Battleing for top of the class. 
All of this only got worse when, in the middle of the winter holidays in your 5th year, Sirius appeared at your doorstep, bleeding and asking for help.
After that point Regulus made sure to show you how much he hated you even more.
You just assumed that he hated you because of your family. Blood-traitors. 
In the beginning of your 6th year you had started to sneak away onto the astronomy  tower a lot of nights. 
It was nice up here. Quiet. You found solitude from the stressful schoolday and your Brother and his friends. You loved them, of course. But it was a lot of pressure. Most people just saw you as James sibling. And they expected you to be like him. It was honestly really exhausting.
Your parents didnt help a lot either. As much as they said they loved you equally, you always felt like James and now Sirius were more important to them. You were just the perfect little sibling. You were quiet and you had good grades so they didnt need to worry much about you. You felt neglected. But you also understood them. James didnt try as much in school, concentraiting more on pranks than homework and Sirius obviously had a lot to deal with because of his past.
So you snuck away when everyone was sleeping. In your pyjamas and a jacket you quiely left the common room and went to he astronomy tower. 
When you arrived you didnt pay much attention to your surroundings and so you didnt notice the other person that was sitting against the outside wall of the tower. You had already pulled out the pack of cigarettes that you had nicked from Sirius a week prior and were beginning to light it when you stepped against the railing. 
Taking a drag and pulling the cigarette away from your mouth you finally heard shuffling behind you. You quickly turn your head, scared that you're gonna find a prefect, or worse, Filch behind you. But instead you see a boy sitting a few meters away from you, his back to the wall of the tower, his dark hair covering his face. 
"Sorry i didnt realize someone was here." 
He finally looks up at you and you finally see his face.
"Black? The fuck are you doing here?" Your voice is a mix of confusion and annoyance at he fact that your solitide was disturbed by him of all people.
"I could ask you he same thing Potter." His voice was quiet and annoyed. Like he didnt want to deal with this right now. He sounded exhausted.
And at a second glance he looked it too. He had dark bags under his eyes and if you looked closely you could see a bruise at the side of his face. You didnt remember seeing it earlier during potions class but maybe he had covered it with magic. 
You had the urge to comment on it but remembered all the things thatt sirius would tell you about his parents and you had a feeling it had something to do with that. And that was a topic that you were sure wouldnt end well.
So you settled on "You look like shit."
He didnt answer and only looked at you even more annoyed. 
Shrugging, you simply looked away from him and lifted your cigarette back to your lips.
Regulus didnt move from his spot, so you assumed that he didnt care much that you were there.
You didnt feel like standing any longer, so you sat against the same wall regulus was sat against, now only a meter between the two of you. afer a few seconds you held out the pack of cigarettes to him .
"want one?" 
He took one without a word and you handed him your lighter when he put it beween his lips.
After that the two of you sat in silence looking at the nightsky. After almost 30 minutes of sitting in silence, you slowly moved to stand up.
"Well... I better go to bed. goodnight Black." 
You had only taken a step or two when Regulus spoke up for the first time since you got there.
"If you tell anyone i was here, you're dead potter."
You turn to him with a small smile.
"I wont. If i did i would have to tell them that i was here."
With that you left, leaving regulus confused on why you wouldnt want anyone knowing you were there. He left shortly after you did.
That night started a routine of you going up to the tower to find regulus either already there or arriving a few minutes later. You would sit in silence together, smoking a cigarette or two, before leaving again. Neither of you ever talked much.
During the day both of you acted like you always did. Like you werent sitting next to each other in almost friendly silence a few hours prior.
You never told your brother or any of your friends about it.
At some point you had started to talk to him instead of just sitting in silence. Not much. And certainly not anything of sustance. Mostly just complaining about professors and homework. But he never complained about it. He never said anything to be honest. He just sat and listened in silence. This continued almost every night unil the winter holidays.
You were standing on platform 9 3/4 with your family and Sirius, saying goodbye to your parents when you noticed Sirius glaring at something past your head. Turning around you see Regulus and his parents. Regulus looked even more exhausted than usual and even from the distance you could see him tensing up as his father put his hand on Regulus shoulder.
Something had happened over the holydays, you could tell.
James voice ripped you out of your thoughts. "Hey what are you two staring at?"
"Nothing." 
You answer immediately, turning back around and hugging your parents one last time. 
"Come on or we'll miss the train." 
That night during dinner you kept catching yourself looking at Regulus. Each time you seemed to notice a new reason to worry.
First how tense he seemed, then his eyebags, worse than you've ever seen them, how he fully ignored all his friends, how he made sure that his hair was alwas covering his left cheekbone and temple, how he seemed to constantly have a hand holding his ribs.
At one point you cought his eyes, giving him the slightest smile, hoping no one else caught it. 
You mouthed 'astronomy tower' hoping that he saw it, before turning back to your friends to answer the question that Marlene had just asked.
That night when you arrived at the tower Regulus was already there, sitting with his back against the wall and his head down, just like he first time you met him there. 
But this time when you sat next to him and he looked up at you, you could see the tears in his eyes threatening to fall. Without a word you pulled him into a hug, his head laying against your shoulder, and just held him as his tears finally spilled.
He didnt make a sound, he just silently let his tears fall. And you held him through it.
It took him about 20 minutes before he pulled away from you. He didn dare look into your face, just sitting right next to you staring at the stars.
After a minute or so of you observing his face you finally asked softly.
"What happened?"  
He didnt say anything for a few seconds. He didnt react at all. You thought maybe he didnt hear you but right as you opened you mouth to ask again, he finally answered.
"How much has Sirius told you about our family?" His voice was quiet and broken.
"A lot. He's told us pretty much anything they would do to him." 
He took a deep breath before he talked again, still refusing to look at you.
"When he was still there, they never really did anything to me. But when he left..." He swallowed "they needed someone else to blame all their problems on. They started to find faults in me. I pretty much became Sirius replacement. When they were angry they let it out on me. The night he left was the worst. I had begged him too stay. But he didnt. He just left me there. And they let all their anger about the situation out on me."
 His voice was shaky and quiet. He sounded unsure if he should be telling you this.
You honestly were surprised that he told you this. Even if you had been "hanging out" for almost half a year now. You didnt think he trusted you like this. And he proboaly didnt.
"Regulus.." His name left your mouth in a whisper. You had never called him by his first name before. 
Hearing his name out of your mouth finally made him look at you.
You slowly grabbed his hand, squeezing it. "I'm so sorry.." 
His gaze drifted from you face to your now joined hands. You expected him to pull his hand away but he just looked away at the stars again.
Neither of you said anything else.
That night was a turning point for both of you.
You stopped being hateful to each other in public. You werent friendly either. It was a silent truce. Your rivalry for top of the class was still there but it was less hateful.
Your nightly meetings slowly turned into talking about feelings. He told you about his friends, the few that were actually decent. Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch jr and Pandora Lestrange. Those were the three that actually semed pretty nice. According to Regulus they didnt really care that much about blood  status, Regulus didnt either. He had learned a lot from Sirius perspective, he was just way more scared of their parents, so he hid his opinions. 
You told him about your family problems, even though they were miniscule in comparison. About how you always felt like you stood in james shadow. 
Over time you and Regulus had come to a point were you honestly considered each other friends.
You still didnt tell any of your friends or you brother about it. You knew they wouldnt take it well.
But all of them noticed a change in you. How you seemed happier.
"Are you dating someone?" 
You nearly choked on your food, when Marlene asked that all of the sudden during dinner. 
"What?!" All conversation between your friends had halted as they all looked at you expectantly. "No! Why would you think that?" 
James looked stupidly relieved at that. He never liked the thought of you dating someone. 
It was Sirius that answered your question.
"Oh, c'mon. Even a blind person can see that you act different." You just looked at him confused. so he clarified. "You are so much happier, you constantly smile at nothing, you zone out. You're either dating someone or you have a big fat crush on someone. So go on. Spill." 
Your eyes widen in shock. Had you really been that obvious? Yes ,during the past few months you may have developed a little cush on the younger Black. But c'mon that obvious? 
But obviously you couldnt tell your friends that. Especially not Sirius and James. They would die of a heart attack on the spot.
"Do you really think if i had a crush on someone i wouldnt tell any of you? Not even Marlene or Lilly?" That was a good safe. Because yes, you usually told the girl pretty much every detail of your life. Even when you had a crush on Remus back in 4th year before you knew that he was gay. And very much in love with Sirius.
Sirius deflated on that. "Yea.. i guess that is true."
They finally picked up their previous conversations and you stole a quick glance at the slytherin table. But instead of Regulus eyes you met those of Evan Rosier. 
He had his eyes already on you and winked at you with a sly grin when our eyes met. Next to him Regulus had noticed that exchange and hit Evan in the side with his elbow. You looked at them confused as Regulus angrily whispered something to Evan who just laughed in reply.
Had Regulus told them? You made a mental note to ask him that night.
When your eyes finally went back to your friends you met Remus eyes who just lifted one eyebrow and smiled knowingly at you. 
You ignored him and went back to eating.
Later that evening you were sat in the common room doing potions homework when Remus excused himself from the boys to walk over to you. You looked up at him for a second as he sat down next to you before going back to writing. 
"You know, at some point they're gonna find out." 
"I have no idea what you're talking about Rem." He couldnt know. Right?
"Yea you do. You know, you're lucky that i'm the one that keeps the map most nights."
At that you froze. Your quill a few centimeters over your parchment. 
The map. 
Shit.
How did you forget about that.
Remus noticed your stressed facial expression. 
"They dont know. I havent told them dont worry. " You relaxed a little at that. "But you know its only a matter of time before one of them finds out."
You let out a breath that you didnt realize you were holding before putting down your quill, frowning at the spot of ink on you parchment, that had dripped from the quil. 
"How long have you known?" 
"Right before The holidays." 
"Rem that is so long! Why didnt you tell me that you know?!" You whisper yelled to make sure none of the other boys heard you.
"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready."
Your face softens. Of course. You dont answer.
"Sooooooo... you want to talk about it? He sure has you happy so he clearly cant be that bad." He says with a smile.
"You have no idea." You grin.
That conversation led to an almost 1 hour long talk of you talking about Regulus. How nice he is. How attractive, because god did you find him attractive. You told him about Regulus friends. How you think that at least Evan knows. Why Regulus is actually mad at Sirius. Everything. Because you knew that Remus wouldnt tell anyone. He has always been good at keeping secrets.
"You are so whipped for him, oh my god.." He told you at the end of your rant with a small chuckle.
You felt your face get hot. "Oh fuck off. Like you arent evenly as whipped for Sirius."
"Oh low blow." You just stuck out your toungue at him in response.
Remus then got a little more serious again. "Are you gonna tell him that you like him?"
You bit the inside of your lip. "I dont know Rem. I dont think he likes me like that and i dont wanna destroy something good yk."
"Yea i know what you mean." He looks over at Sirius.
You change the topic slightly. "So, uhh.. take the map tonight?"
He looks back at you with a grin. "Yea i got it. I'm gonna go back to the others. You finish that homework before you leave tonight."
"Yea, yea, whatever."
That night your walk to the astronomy tower is interrupted.
"Oi Potter!" You stop and turn around in surprise to see a ginning Evan Rosier.
"Rosier? What do you want?" 
"Oh nothing really" He is a bad liar. "Where're you headed to after curfew?"
You narrow your eyes at him. "I dont see why that is any of your business."
He knows. And you know that.
"Alright fine. I know you're meeting with Reg." You sigh and turn back around to continue your walk to the tower.  Evan quickly follows you.
"Listen, Reg kinda let it slip that you guys have been meeting up." 
"Okay? That still doesnt answer why youre talking to me right now."
"Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot." He is grinning from ear too ear now. 
But its what he said that makes you pause in your steps for a second. 
"What?"
"Oh yea, boy is smitten." He grins but immediately notices his mistake and his smile drops. "No wait. Forget i said that. You didnt hear anything okay?"
Your face is flushed now. Did Evan just tell you that Regulus likes you? Like... Like liked you?
"Uhm- Right."
"But just hypothetically... if you did hear something.... Would that something be reciprocated or not? Because if it was i wouldnt feel so bad for you hypothetically hearing something."
You dont even know what to say to that. You really didnt want to tell Evan about your crush on Regulus. Sure he trusts Evan but you really didnt know the guy.
"None of your business Rosier." You start walking again, while Evan just stays were he is. 
"Im taking that as a yes. Dont tell Reg that i hypothetically told you that. Im not ready to die yet." 
"Whatever Rosier!"
Your thoughts are racing. Regulus likes you. Except Evan is just trying to mess with you. But that doesnt seem like something he would do. Atleast not from what Regulus told you.
You are so in thought that you almost dont notice Regulus waiting when you reach the top of the tower.
You only snap out of it when you hear him call your name. 
"You good?"
"Hm? Oh yea. Sorry, just thinking." You sit down next to him, like always and pull out your pack of cigarettes. You kept stealing them from Sirius and he kept wondering how they keep dissappearing.
"About?" 
"Rosier just talked to me." You werent gonna tell him about the hypothetical thing Evan told you. But you were definetely gonna talk to him about the fact that Evan knew.
"Evan? Why?" He reached over, pulling a cigarette out of your pack without asking.
"He knows?" Was all you answered as you pull your lighter out of your jacket.
Regulus laughed nervously. "Uh- yea, i mightve slipped up on that. Sorry. I swear he wont tell anyone." 
"Its fine, you can tell your friends as long as they keep it to themselfs." You lift your lighter to light your own cigarette, when Regulus suddenly leans into your space to light his cigarette at the same time as yours. His face only centimeters away from yours. 
You flush. Fuck that was hot. He leans back with a slight grin. He knew exactly what he was doing to you.
"Any of your friends know?" He asks as if he didnt just do that. Fucker.
"Well.. Remus knows. I didnt tell him. He figured it out on his own." You stammer out. 
Goddamn it. 
"Lupin? Makes sense. Hes smart. He knows everything." 
"Yea except for the fact that Sirius is painfully obvious in love with him. Thats the one thing he doesnt seem to notice."
"Wait what?" He seems confused. Shit. Did you just out Sirius to his brother? You thought he knew.
"Did- Did you not know Sirius is gay?"
"No, that much is obvious." Oh thank god. "I meant, Those two arent a couple?"
That makes you laugh. 
"No! They've been in love with each other for years but are the only ones that havent realized it yet."
Regulus is both surprised and amused by that information.
"They had me fooled. I thought they've been together for forever." He's barely holding back his laughter.
"Nope just incedibly dense. Both of them." 
Neither of you can stop the laughter at that point.
You think that this might be the most genuine laughter and smile you've ever seen from Regulus. 
Your laughter dies down a little as you look at him. His head thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open in a bright grin as he laughs. He looks beautiful.
You just stare for a few seconds, with a soft smile on your face.
He stops laughing and notices your staring.
"What?" He asks, smile still on his face.
"You're Beautiful." You answer without thinking about it.
When you see his pale face flush a light pink shade in surprise you realize what you just said and look away in embarrassment.
"I- Uh- I mean.." Fuckfuckfuck. Why did you just say that. Its true yea, but still. Oh my god. You are such an idiot.
"So are you." Those three words are all it takes for your rambling thoughts to dissapper fully. 
Brain empty.
You look back at him. His face is still a little pink but he has a little smile adorning his lips.
You dont know what to answer so you just stare in silence. Evans words from earlier come back to your mind.
Well our Reggie seems pretty over the moon with you ,so i wanted to see for myself. He likes you you know. Like a lot.
FUCK. You are a goner at this point.
Luckily for you Regulus seems to notice your inner turmoil and changes the conversation to something easier without a second thought.
"So, did you finish that potions homework yet?"
You are honestly thankful thatt he is just able to do that. Make you think about something else.
But for the rest of the night, hell for the rest of the week all you can think about is that moment.
The next day all your friends can tell that you are even more in thought than usual but they know better than to press on it.
Except for Remus. Between classes he pulls you aside to ask what happened. You tell him everything. 
From Evans slip up to Regulus calling you beautiful.
"Thats great! To me thats a clear sign that he likes you too." 
"But Rem what if i'm misinterpreting?!"
"You literally have confirmation from his best friend."
You dont have more time to talk about it because both of you have to get to your next classes.
But you keep thinking about the whole thing.
You could tell that something had changed between Regulus and you. Not in a bad way, you dont think.
You caught him looking at you more often. During meals, during class, during your meetings. You noticed because you were also looking at him more often. 
Eye contact for a few seconds to long and smiling before one of you would look away.
This went on for about two weeks. How often had you thought about kissing him during those two weeks? You had lost count. 
Then one night, Regulus had just made a joke that you had both laughed at for far to long, and when you finally stopped you realized how close you faces had gotten. 
Regulus had noticed too.
You were staring at each other, you eyes flicking from his eyes to his lips and back up. Your tongue darting out to wet your lips in a nervous tick as you caught his eyes looking at your lips too.
You subconciously moved even closer, noses now centimeters away from brushing against each other.
Regulus is the one that asks in almost a whisper "Can I kiss you?"
You cant get any words out so you simply nod your head ever so slightly.
Regulus leans towards you, closing the gap between you in a soft kiss. 
Its not heated, not rushed, its slow, soft and full with emotions.
Its perfect.
When you part, neither of want to fully pull back. Your noses still almost touching.
After a few second you gain your voice back and admit in a whisper.
"I really like you Regulus"
"Merlin I would hope so." He answers with chuckle. "I like you too."
You lean in to kiss him again. 
And again.
The rest of that night included a lot more kisses. As well as a talk about what you you were to each other. You were glad about that. Not knowing would have killed you probably.
You both came to the conclusion that you wouldnt be telling people (Except the ones that you trusted) but that you are in fact dating.
You wished that you could stay like that all night but unfortunately both of you needed sleep.
"Goodnight Reg" 
You kissed him one more time before starting to walk away, his hand in yours as long  as you could.
"Goodnight mon cherie." You smiled to yourself all the way back to your dorm.
The next morning Remus knew. He just knew it from one look at you. You were honestly so glad that he knew and you were able to tell him everything.
The last few months until summer went well. Hang outs, kisses and talking. Regulus also at some point properly introduced you to Evan. Honestly the two of you hit it of really well. 
The closer summer got, the more nervous both you and Regulus got. 
He would have to go back to his parents and you wouldnt be able to write each other without his parents asking questions.
You spent the last night before summer in eachothers arms, telling him to be careful. You didnt want to part from each other but reluctantly did so right before sunrise with a long, loving kiss.
That morning both of you kept stealing glances at each other, Remus doing his best to ease your worries.
On the platform you barely had enough time to see Regulus dissappear with his parents.
"You coming?" You turned around at James question.
"Yeah."
The first half of the summer was pretty uneventful, even though you still worried about Regulus.
For the second half, Remus had joined your family.
A week later you were helping your mother prepare dinner when you heard a soft knock on your front door.
Confused you turned toward Euphemia.
"Are we expecting someone mum?"
"Not that i know of. Would you mind checking who it is darling?"
"Sure." You quickly put down the plate you were previously holding and went to answer the door.
On the other side was the last person you expected to see. 
"Reggie?" Your voice filled with worry and almost a whisper. 
Regulus looked bad. Almost worse than Sirius when he appeared at your doorsttep a year and a half prior. He was bleeding and bruised, and looked like he was minutes away from keeling over.
His eyes met yours, filled with tears that were steadily flowing down his cheeks.
"I didnt know were else to go..." His voice was hoarse like he had been screaming and shaky from crying.
Before he had even finished his sentence he had stepped towards you, nearly falling into your arms. You hugged him back while pulling him back into the house with you with a small "cmon..".
Inside you let go of him, carefully guiding him into the living room and onto your couch only stopping near the kitchen to yell to your mother.
"Mum! We need the healing kit!"
Your mother immediately stuck her head out the kitchen door to see what was going on.
"Oh dear." She quickly left to get the kit.
Meanwhile you had carefully sat Regulus onto your couch,sitting next to him and holding his hand, scared that hugging would hurt him. You didnt need to ask what had happened. That much was pretty obvious.
"Regulus." You urged him to look at you with a small squeeze of your hand. "Hey.. Its gonna be okay. Your safe now. I promise."
He didnt answer but layed his forehead onto your shoulder and squezed you hand back. He was still crying although not as hysterically anymore.
Euphemia entered the room, healing kit in hand and carefully sat infront of Regulus on the floor. You had done this before so she knew to be careful as not to scare him.
"Regulus right?" Her voice was soft and quiet as if she was talking to a scared animal. He didnt react so you nodded at your mother to confirm that she had the right name.
"Regulus, I'm gonna heal you now. But i have to touch you for that. Is that alright with you?"
Regulus nodded ever so slightly with his head still against your shoulder. Euphemia caught the slight movement and immediately started to examine the extent of his injuries before starting to heal them one by one. It would take a while and she wouldnt be able to heal all of them fully right that moment. It had been the same with Sirius.
You quietly soothed him through all of it. Continuing to hold his hand, your thumb stroking over the back of his hands while you whispered comforting words into his ear.
Unfortunately in the middle of all this our brother and Sirius had decided to make their entrance.
"Hey mum, is dinner almost ready?" James asked while he and Sirius came down the stairs.
But before Euhemia could answer you heard both boys exclaim at the same time.
"What the fuck??!"
"Regulus?!"
Both of you looked up at them at the same time. Regulus face still stained with tears and blood.
Sirius made his way over in a instant, sitting beside your mother and grasping Regulus other hand in his bigger ones. His eyes were filled with worry. Of course they were. Even if him and Regulus werent on good terms, he was still his brother. And seeing him like that made him fall back into that role within seconds.
"Shit, what happened?? Did they..??" He didnt finish his sentence. He didnt have to. Because he also knew. 
Regulus started tearing up again and turned his head towards you to try and hide it.
You instantly hugged him against you in comfort, your second hand reaching up to the back of his head to cradle it against the junction of your neck and shoulder.
"Sssh, its okay Reg." Your face pressed against the side of his head a told him that.
Your eyes met James over Regulus head. He just stood there perplexed. Not only was Regulus fucking Black bleeding in his living room, but he also cuddled up close to his sister like they were close.
You knew that you had a lot of explaining to do later, but right now you had different priorities.
So you ignored James and continued talking to Reglulus in a quite voice to help him calm down, occasionally pressing little kisses to his temple and hair.
When your mother was done, she slowly got up. "I'll leave you guys alone for a bit. If you need something just call." 
She left the room at the same time as Remus entered, having come down to see what was taking the boys so long.
Remus quickly hid his surprise at the fact that Regulus was here and simply asked "Is he okay?".
You simply looked at him and said "He will be."
After that you all sat in silence for a few minutes, only disruted by Regulus quiet sniffeles.
When he had finally calmed down again he still refused to let go of you.
Remus was the first to speak up. 
"I think he should take a shower, get all that blood of him. Prongs, Padfoot, wait in the kitchen well join you in a minute." 
Both boys started to protest but Remus wasnt having it and herded them to the kitchen looking back at you for a second.
" I got it Rem."
You helped Regulus up, guiding him to the bathroom.
Once you were there you closed the door behind you and turned towards Regulus.
He grabbed you by your hips and pulled you towards him. Being close to you always comforted him.
You reached up to carefully hold his face in your hands. 
"Are you okay?" Worry was evident in your eyes and voice.
"Now that im with you i will be." He answered quietly, leaning down to lay his forehead against yours, his eyes closed.
Your quiet moment was interrupted by a knock on the door.
"Hey." Remus. "Can i come in? I got you some clothes."
You pulled away from Regulus and opened the door, stepping aside slightly so Remus could hand Regulus the stack of dark clothing. 
"They're Sirius, so the should fit you." He then looked at you. "They have a lot of questions. You should come downsairs and talk to them."
You sigh. This was what you were scared of. "Okay, I'll be down is a few."
Remus nodded and sent one last smile at the two of you before leaving.
You turned towards Regulus again. "Do you need help with anything or are you good?" 
"I think im good" And then quieter. " Thank you. You dont understand how much all of this means to me." 
You smile at him and step closer to press a small kiss to his lips. "Of course. Im here for you. Always." Before leaving him to shower, closing the door behind you.
You take a deep breath before beginning your way to the kitchen. Halfway there you could already hear your brother.
"Why are you so calm about this Moony?! Did you know?!"
"Prongs will you calm down?"
"No-" 
All conversation halted when you entered the kitchen, all eyes turning to you.
James looked both confused and near furious and Sirius just looked confused. Like he wasnt sure what to make of the whole situation yet.
"Explain." Is all James said as he said down at the table and pointed at the chair across from him.
You said down and so did Sirius next to James, and Remus, next to you.
"After summer last year, I've started to go to the astronomy tower at night. Just for some peace and quiet, away from everything you know. 
One night he was there too. A few days after school start. He didnt really say anything. We just sat together. He didnt look good. Like, really tired and he had this giant bruise on his face. He had it hidden during the day, but that night i saw it. I didnt say anything about it, but i knew it was from his parents. 
After that night we just kept meeting there. We didnt talk, we really just sat in silence with each other. At some point i started to tell him about my day. He never said anything but he also kept coming."
You looked from James betrayed eyes down to your hands that layed intertwined with each other on the table.
"Then after christmas break, he looked so much worse than before. And that night he broke down. And he told me everything. About his parents. And how much worse the got after Sirius left." 
Your eyes flicked to Sirius face. Guilt written all over it.
"After that we just started talking to each other. About anything. He even introduced me to a few of his friends. They're honestlyy really nice. They dont support their parents ideas really. And a few months ago..."
You looked at Remus. His expression encouraging you to continue. 
Fuck it. Just rip of the bandaid.
"A few months ago we kissed and we've kinda been dating since then." Your eyes were glued to a little scratch in the surfice of the table. Refusing to meet James or Sirius glances.
"WHAT?!"
"Prongs. Calm down. I think they're good for each other. Its their life. Not yours." Thank merlin that Remus exists. You didnt know what you would do without him.
"How long have you known about is Moony?!"
Remus looked down for a second before meeting James eyes again. "Right before christmas."
James was about to answer something probably dumb, when Sirius suddenly turned towards you.
"I cant believe you wouldnt tell me you were in a relationship."
You chuckled nervously. "Thats the part that bothers you about this?"
"YES! And also I'm trying to focus on something that isnt the fact that your DATING MY LITLE BROTHER... so i dont freak out." You could tell that he was really trying.
"Im sorry i didnt tell you. I was just worried how you would react." You said apologetically.
"For good reason." Remus mumbled making you smile slightly.
James face softened. "Well.. as much as i dont agree with this. And i dont. For the record. Remus is right. Its your life. But if he tries to pull something you tell me alright? And ill take care of it."
"Oi thats my little brother your talking about!" That made you smile. At least they're trying. "But seriously, if he tries something you tell us." 
"He wont. But thank you." You smile at them. Remus laying his hand on your shoulder making you look over at him.
Then Sirius half joking, half serious voice makes you look at him again.
"But seriously my brother? Why? Out of everyone."
"Wow Sirius. I feel kind of attacked." At the sound of Regulus voice you quickly turn around.
He stood a meter behind your chair , black hair wet and tousled, his tall slim frame clad in a pair of black sweatpants and a black sabbath shirt. 
"Reg. How're you feeling?" Your voice was still filled with worry even though Regulus already looked a lot better. You held your hand out towards him, beconing him closer.
He took your hand, walking over to sit in the open chair to your left. Remus being on your right.
"Better." He said a soft smile on his face, as he just looked at you for a moment.
You smiled back at him before saying "I think we should get mum back and finish making dinner. You hungry?" 
"Starving." It sounded like a joke but honestly with his parents you could never know.
"Remus, make sure they're being civil okay?" You spoke as you got up, squeezing Regulus shoulder in passing. "I'll be right back."
Just as you left the room you could hear Sirius whine. "Moony we're always civil! I dont know what they mean."
"Yea yea Padfoot whatever you say." You could pracicaly hear the adoring smile in Remus voice.
Surprisingly when you came back with your mother, no one was dead. 
Your mother had pulled both you and James with her to help with the food, giving him the perfect oppertunity to keep asking you annoying questions about you and Regulus. 
Remus offered to set the table, giving Sirius and Regulus a chance to talk. Something they hadnt properly done in years. You didnt hear what they said but it ended in a hug so at least it was good.
Dinner was kind of awkward. Your Dad having to quickly be filled in on what happened when he arrived in the kitchen.
Regulus was given the guest room to sleep in, Remus had been sleeping in James and Sirius room anyways. So when you were sure he three boys were in bed you snuck into the guest room, cuddling up with Regulus under the blanket.
"I saw you speaking with Sirius earlier." He hummed in reply, his face hidden in your hair, his left arm around your waist, holding you close to him.
"Did you talk everything out?" You turn slightly in his hold so you could look a him. Your faces now right infront of each oher.
"Not everything. Thats gonna take a while. But he apologized. Its a start." His voice was low and tired.
" Thats good. I know how much you both missed each other." Again he simply hummed in response.
"I think we should sleep." You say with a grin. "You're barely awake anyway." Another hum.
You lean forward for a soft kiss. He kissed back. "Goodnight mon cherie."
You smile. "Sleep well Reggie." 
He cuddled back into you, his face against your neck, arms holding you close, legs tangled with yours.
You smile at his almost asleep form. 
He was okay. 
He was safe.
And he was yours.
And maybe. Just maybe. You would be okay.
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joelscruff · 10 months
Text
feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART FIVE
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previous chapters | kofi | i'm honestly amazed that i actually completed this chapter today; as a lot of yall know i've been dealing with a lot of shitty life stuff lately and part of me expected this to not even get posted this month. and yet!! here we are. thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and amazing, this chapter is for you and i hope you like it 💖 chapter summary: you're starting to feel a bit insecure about your relationship with joel. perhaps a late night visit to his house is what you need 👀 rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (reader is in her 20s, joel in his 50s), innocent/inexperienced reader, corruption, praise kink (joel calls reader babygirl, sweetheart, etc), dirty talk, mentions of religion (reader’s family are very catholic), fingering, handjobs, comeplay word count: 9k (woops) ao3
The rest of the week goes by gruelingly slow. Joel is busy every day and has barely any time to talk, so you mainly communicate through texts. The "conversations" are slow and broken, Joel only able to text when he has a free moment, which doesn't seem to be very often. You don't talk on the phone again, as much as you want to hear his voice, and you don't sext again either. It's a bit weird, a bit confusing, but you navigate it as best you can. It's not like he's ignoring you, he always responds, but it's just not the same as that first day.
you still wanna do this, right?
You type it around midnight on Thursday, hands trembling a bit as you hover over the send button. In one way you're afraid to ask him, afraid to seem clingy or young or inexperienced; but you're all of those things. When he's actually talking to you directly there's no fear, no question about what he wants, but going so long without hearing his voice makes you more and more insecure about what exactly he's thinking.
You erase the first message and start to type another one:
i know you're busy but
You shake your head and erase that one too. This is so stupid. Of course he still wants you, you idiot.
He'd said he was okay with the lie you'd told, had even said he would actually teach you guitar now too, but you're an overthinker, always have been. You can't help but feel dread whirling around in the pit of your stomach; he wants to end it, it's too complicated now. You've turned something sexy and fun into something ridiculous and unnecessary.
You lock your phone without sending anything and roll around in bed a bit, trying to sleep. Your thoughts make it impossible though, nagging at the front of your mind worse than your parents. You sit up and slide the tip of your thumb into your mouth, biting down in thought and staring at the blank screen of your phone.
What if you just...
are you home?
He hadn't sent you anything earlier to confirm he'd gotten back; you've discovered over the past few days that contractors really like to drink after their shift. Joel's been at the bar every night since that first day, often 'til late; you have to admit, it makes you a bit jealous to imagine Joel and his contracting crew out having a great time while you're laying in your childhood bed with a curfew. Bar hopping and partying has never appealed to you before, at least not when your college friends did it, but now the thought of it doesn't seem so bad. Not if you were doing it with him...
Your phone buzzes and you feel excitement burst through you at his reply:
Got in about 10 minutes ago, didn't think you'd be up. You okay?
You soften at his concern, cheeks warming. You don't hesitate, knowing if you think too much about it you'll end up changing your mind. You type your your response and hit send before you can talk yourself out of it.
can i come over?
You stare at the screen with bated breath, watching as his typing bubble appears. It takes barely any time at all for him to reply:
Of course you can. Door's unlocked.
--
Sneaking out of your house is much easier than you thought it'd be. You've never done it before, had almost expected the bottom half of your house to suddenly have some kind of security system with lasers and cameras, but nope. Nothing out of the ordinary.
You're wearing one of your old nightdresses, pink and frilly; you'd opted to start wearing them again the other day, liking the way they made you feel, accentuating your legs and breasts like your old Sunday school dress. You'd changed quickly every morning before going downstairs to save your parents from the heart attacks they'd have seeing you with so little skin coverage. But there's no need to change now, not with where you're going. You yank on a jacket and sneakers and carefully open and close the front door, scurrying out into the cool night air.
Joel's house isn't far, just a street over. You try not to run, as much as you want to; you know you'll end up all sweaty and messy haired - the opposite of how you'd like to portray yourself tonight, but your skin is practically glowing with anticipation. You hold the short hem of your nightdress down as you speed walk through the dark suburban streets of your neighborhood.
Your heart starts pounding when his house comes into view; the living room window is dimly lit. You jog up the front steps and take a deep breath before turning the handle, smiling to yourself when it opens easily; he'd really left the door unlocked for you.
"Mr. Miller?" you call in a hushed tone, shutting the door behind you and turning the lock.
He emerges from the living room and you feel your eyes widen. All he's wearing is a pair of loose fitting plaid pajama pants; nothing else. No shirt, no socks, and probably no underwear. You swallow, eyes trailing up and down the naked solidness of his chest, the greying hair smattered along the skin. He's got a softness to him, a bit of a pudgy belly that makes you want to smile, but his rugged sexiness is even more apparent. His strong pecs, freckled arms, the hair trailing down his stomach and into his pajama pants... it suddenly leaves you unable to breathe or form a coherent thought.
"There's my girl," he says, voice low and husky; he must have talked a lot today, called people's names, ordered them around, "C'mere."
Your brain is still muddled and awestruck as you feel yourself rush forward, arms immediately wrapping around his bare torso. His skin is softer than you'd thought it'd be, warm under your touch as you carefully press your cheek to his chest. You feel the scratch of hair against your skin, reminding you of his age; fifty six. The thought gives you an ache between your legs.
He holds you close and rubs your back, presses a kiss to the top of your head. Your eyes flutter closed at his touch, fingers splaying across the wide span of his back. You find yourself able to breathe again, but all you inhale is his scent, fresh and masculine. It's then that you realize his skin is slightly damp, peppered here and there with little droplets of water.
"I just got out of the shower," he says quietly, answering your unspoken question, "Was about to get in bed when you texted but I figured if you were comin' over I should clean myself up a bit."
You hum against his chest, still not sure exactly what to say. The ache between your legs is growing stronger the more you stand here in his embrace; somehow you hadn't expected to feel this way just from hugging him, although you probably should have guessed.
"I wanna get in your bed," you say softly, opening your eyes again and pulling back to look at him. His expression says it all, eyes going dark as they fall to your lips.
"Then let's get in my bed," he murmurs, just as quiet.
--
The last time you were in Joel's bedroom there'd been more of a sense of urgency, when he'd sat with you in his lap on the edge of his bed and held you open in front of the mirror. Now things are much slower, more quiet. You slip in behind him and unzip your jacket, taking it off and hanging it carefully on the hook behind his door.
"That's pretty," he says behind you, and you feel him reach out to gently touch the pink material, hand ghosting the bare skin of your chest. Your breath hitches and he smiles, "Tiny little thing, isn't it?"
"I've had it for a long time, I thought you might like it."
"I do," he pulls you toward him, then reaches his hands up to thumb the thin straps of the nightdress. You watch with hooded eyes as he slowly pushes them off your shoulders, "I'm gonna take it off though, that okay?"
Your brow furrows; he notices your reaction and his hands freeze, "Not okay?" he asks, confused slightly.
"N-no, it's okay," you say quickly, "I just... I'm still a little self conscious."
His eyes widen slightly and he shakes his head, "You have nothin' to be self conscious about, sweetheart," he reassures you, "I wanna see you..." he pushes the straps down your shoulders and you stand there trembling slightly as he pulls the dress down, exposing your breasts to him, "There you are."
You shiver a bit under his gaze, but not out of discomfort or fear. You feel safe with him; you know he'd never do anything you didn't consent to. You're just not exactly sure what you want, what exactly you've really come here for. Before you'd left the house you'd been so afraid that he was losing interest, already getting tired of you; now he stares at you like you're some kind of rare gem, making you feel bashful and beautiful under his gaze.
"I wanna touch you," you whisper, the shakiness of your voice betraying your nervousness - or anticipation.
His hands freeze for a few seconds but he regains composure quickly, tugging the dress down further until it's cascading down your legs, putting you completely on display. He swallows audibly, taking you in. You look at his face and feel yourself pulse under his gaze, the way he's staring directly at your bare pussy.
"Let's get in bed," he murmurs, "I think there's a few things we can touch."
His words send a buzzing warmth through your body and you cross your legs unconsciously, an action that makes him smirk. You turn away from him with heat flooding your cheeks as you climb into his bed; it's large and comfortable, but you already know neither of you will be taking advantage of the big space. You sit up against his headboard and pull the duvet up over yourself, hiding your breasts from view - as if he hasn't already seen them.
"I'll keep these on" he says softly, tugging at the band of his pajama pants, "Don't worry."
Your heart leaps to your throat and you nod quickly - probably too quickly. It's not that you're scared to see him naked; you've already seen both halves now and that's taken away a lot of the fear, but the concept of being in bed together, both naked... you're not sure you're ready yet. And you're glad he understands that without you having to say it out loud.
You watch as he climbs into bed and positions himself up against the headboard like you, scooches in next to you so your sides are touching. His skin against yours is unlike anything you've felt with him up until this point; he's so warm, a firm and large presence at your side that immediately has you feeling intimidated. Your nerves are already beginning to set alight just by having him so close. You open your mouth to speak but are unable to say anything when he inches even closer, his bare waist pressing firmly against yours.
"Hey, you're okay," he breathes, reaching up to gently thumb your cheek in a calming motion, brow furrowing slightly, "You don't gotta be nervous, sweetheart, it's only me."
"I'm not nervous," you whisper back, and while you're not exactly being honest there's certainly something else you're feeling, "I'm just..." you cross your legs again under the duvet, "I'm getting really wet."
He makes an odd sound in the back of his throat that makes you smile a little, cheeks burning under his gaze. He reaches over and slowly pushes the blankets down from your loose grip, exposing you to him once again. He moves his hand down, fingertips trailing along your bare chest until carefully bringing one of your breasts into his palm and squeezing gently.
"You don't gotta hide these from me, darlin'," he murmurs, thumb dragging across your nipple, sending tingles throughout your body, "They're too pretty to stay outta sight."
You shiver when he carefully tweaks your nipple between his fingers, his gaze firmly set on his movements. You watch together as he plays with it, toys with it, rolls it between thumb and forefinger. The warm and tight feeling sends an odd tingling sensation from your breast to your pussy, like they're connected somehow.
"I'm gonna put this in my mouth," he says softly, "Suck on it a little bit, that okay?"
You can't help but feel a bit unsure, biting your lip, "Is that... does it feel good to do that?"
He nods up at you, thumbing your nipple again slowly, "Feels really good, I promise. You got a lot of nerves here, just like your pussy. Really sensitive."
Your eyes are hazy as you nod to him slowly, "Th-that sounds nice."
At your words he leans his head down and brings your nipple into his mouth, dropping his fingers and replacing his thumb with the warm suction of his lips. You gasp out in surprise, hand coming up to immediately cup the back of his head.
You've never felt anything like this; the suction of his mouth is so new and strange, that tingling sensation returning as you cross your legs tighter and whimper aloud as he sucks your nipple. His tongue is wet and warm, tracing the shape of you in little circles, while his free hand comes up to squeeze your other breast, tweak it with his fingers. Your breath begins to come out raggedly, brow furrowing and legs tightening together as he suckles.
"Oh my god," you hear yourself whimper, hand tightening in his hair, "Why does that feel so good?"
He pulls off your nipple with a quiet laugh, peering up at you, "Yeah, you like the way that feels, babygirl?"
You nod quickly, swallowing and trying to get your breath back, "Yes," you whisper, "A lot."
He smiles at that, "Then how 'bout you lay back for me?"
It's an offer that's impossible to refuse. You quickly pull yourself down from the headboard and slip beneath the covers, head coming to rest on one of his pillows. He slips under as well, then very slowly positions himself on top of you, a leg on either side of your trembling form. You look up at him with wide eyes, unsure whether you're more nervous or excited.
"You're okay," he reassures you again, inching downward a bit and pressing a few gentle kisses to your neck, "Gotta be on top to do this right, so it feels good."
You nod slowly, "I c-can feel..."
"What?" he whispers, "What do you feel?"
Your arms are loose at your sides and Joel's are pinned above you, but there's an unmistakable feeling of something prodding into your thigh, large and thick.
"Your cock," you manage to whisper, voice trembling, "I think."
"That's right," he murmurs, "It's 'cause I'm gettin' hard from suckin' you like that, touchin' you," he trails his fingers down your sides gently, making you shiver, "You like feelin' it there?"
You feel yourself slowly nodding, eyes going even more hazy and hooded, "I wanna touch it."
"I know you do," he whispers, "I want you to touch it too, sweetheart. But I'm gonna play with you a little longer," he leans his face down and licks a small stripe against your other nipple, making your hips buck, "Then I'll teach you how to touch it, that alright?"
"Yes," you breathe, "Please."
"You like when I play with you, don't you?" he murmurs against your breast, then captures your other nipple in his mouth and starts to suck.
"Y-yes," you repeat, hand coming up again to tangle in his hair, already overwhelmed by the sensation, "I missed it."
He hums, sending another cascade of tingles throughout your body. To think that less than half an hour ago you were laying in bed wondering if he still wanted you; now you're naked and he's on top of you with his mouth on your breast. How is this your life?
"What did'ya miss?" he pulls off for barely a few seconds, scruff scratching perfectly against your sensitive skin, "Tell me, babygirl, wanna know what you've been thinkin' about."
You whimper when he goes back to suckling, your fingers threading through his greying curls. It's hard to get your thoughts straight when he's making you feel like this, every tight suck and wet lick going directly to your aching core.
"J-just missed you touching me," you breathe, voice rough and wanton with pleasure, "Missed your hands on me, your fingers..."
At your words he carefully brings one of his hands downward, caressing your body gently as he goes. Your breath hitches when he swipes his middle and index finger down your wet seam, urging you to open up for him. You uncross your trembling legs, looking down to watch as he continues to suck on your breast while his fingers dip down to your wetness.
"Inside," you whisper, finishing your thought but almost giving him a command at the same time; he doesn't hesitate, immediately pushing both fingers past your entrance and slipping them inside your throbbing hole, "Fuck," you whimper, closing your eyes and throwing your head back, "Like that."
You can feel the head of his cock through his pajama pants, pulsing against your thigh, leaving a sticky spot in the fabric. The fact that he's getting hard just by doing this to you, getting wet in his own way, it just turns you on even more.
He pulls off your breast with a wet pop and tilts his head up to look at you, pressing little kisses around your nipple and then pulling himself up a bit to hover over you. You feel his clothed cock prod your lower belly and you shiver again.
"Wanted to be full again, huh?" he murmurs, eyes dark, "Missed havin' these big fingers inside you?"
You nod and tug at his curls, urging him to lean his face down toward you. He takes the hint immediately, smirking a bit before reaching down to press his lips to yours and kiss you hungrily. You sigh into his mouth, contentment and arousal flooding through you as he slowly pushes his fingers in and out of you. Your hand moves from his hair to cup his jaw, loving the feeling of his beard beneath your fingers.
"Wanna know what I missed?" he asks against your lips, voice deep and breathy, "Missed this tiny little hole, so tight, all for me," at his words he curls the tips of his fingers inside of you, making you emit a loud whimper that makes him grin, "That's right, takin' my fingers so well, angel. Bet you could take three now," you feel another one of his fingers prod you alongside his others, "You want that, babygirl? Want three of those big fingers?"
You swallow nervously but slowly nod, tugging your bottom lip into your mouth, "Yes, Mr. Miller," you whimper, "Wanna be full."
"Good girl," he murmurs, brushing his nose lightly against yours, "You're such a good girl, aren't you?"
You hear the sounds you're making but you're not quite sure where they're coming from or how you're making them; you sound pathetic and breathless as he fucks you with his fingers, teases the third at your hole and leans down to kiss you again. His tongue slips past your lips and you feel the vibration of your own moans in his mouth when his thumb gently teases your clit.
"There you go, angel," he mutters against your lips as his third finger breaches your entrance, slowly pushes past the other two, "Thaaat's it, babygirl."
You tremble underneath him, feeling your body tense up at the new intrusion. You've had three of your own fingers inside yourself, but not three of his, long and thick and so much bigger than your own. You hear your whimpers turn into cries as his fingers fill you up, your own hands coming up to grip his back, nails digging into the skin.
"Shhh," he soothes, trailing more kisses along your face in an attempt to relax you, "You're okay, sweetheart, you're okay." And you are okay, being underneath him like this, being entirely at his mercy as he pushes your limits, helps you discover something new. It burns a bit, stretches and pulls and stings, but he talks you through it, whispers reassuring words in your ear, and you know you're safe.
He stills once all three fingers are deep inside, then pulls himself up a bit to look at you, pushing a stray hair behind your ear and peering down with a soft expression despite the depraved circumstances.
"How's that feel?" he whispers, voice gentle and soothing, "Tell me."
You're still making whimpering noises, shaky and quiet, but you're able to reply with the only word you can bring to the front of your mind: "Full."
He smiles down at you, brushes his nose against yours, "You did so good, angel," he murmurs, eyes not leaving yours, "I'm prouda you."
He knows what he's doing with that phrase; immediately you feel yourself loosen beneath him, hands going slightly limp against his back. He presses a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth and slowly begins to move his fingers again, pumping them in and out at an even pace.
It's amazing. It's so different than just two fingers, so much bigger and fuller - you've never felt anything like it; something so dirty but somehow passionate and warm. He kisses you as he fucks you with them, hovering over you with his hot skin emanating onto yours, wisps of hair from his chest and stomach tickling you everywhere. He thumbs your clit again and you moan loudly against his lips, your orgasm swelling in your belly as your hands tangle in his hair and pull him closer.
"You gonna come, angel?" he asks you softly, sweetly, pulling back a bit to stare deeply into your wide eyes, "Yeah, you're gonna come on those big fingers, huh? Can feel your pussy gettin' all tight around me, she wants it so bad doesn't she?"
You moan even louder as you frantically nod, "Yes, gonna come, gonna come," you cry out, overwhelmed by the thickness of his fingers and the way he's looking at you, the way he's talking to you; everything is just him.
"That's right, give it to me, sweet girl," he urges you, plunging into you faster and faster as his thumb rotates mercilessly against your clit, "Make a mess for me, soak those fingers, there you go."
You keen, high and borderline ridiculous as you stiffen beneath him and begin to shake, pitiful sounds escaping your mouth as you come. He fucks you through it, watching your face every step of the way and not stopping his movements until you've come down completely. You lay beneath him, chest heaving and eyes closing involuntarily as he strokes your thigh tenderly, reassuringly. He keeps his fingers lodged deep inside of you, not moving but simply keeping you full as you come down from your orgasm; you find yourself hoping he doesn't pull them out just yet.
"Can I show you somethin'?" he asks softly, and you open your eyes to find him still peering down at your face. You can't speak, can only nod as you bite down on your lip and try to catch your breath, your entire brain focused solely on the way his fingers feel inside you. As if he can read your mind, he's suddenly pulling them out and bringing them up to hover between the two of you.
Your brow furrows in confusion, suddenly feeling beyond empty as you pout up at him. He just chuckles to himself, still holding his three fingers - wet and glistening - in front of you while his other hand reaches down to the waistband of his pajama pants. Your eyes go wide, lips parting a bit as you look from his face to where his hand is and back again.
Without words from either of you, he slowly reaches inside and pulls out his cock, thick and dripping. You make a weird sound in the back of your throat, sitting up slightly as you peer at it with wonder. He's showed it to you before, it's nothing new, and yet...
"That's about the same width, wouldn't you say?" he asks you quietly, bringing his dripping fingers down to his hard cock and aligning them side by side; he's right - the thickness of all three of his fingers is relatively similar to the thickness of his cock. There's certainly different aspects - the length being the main difference - but the overall width is pretty spot on.
"Y-yeah," you say softly, eyes glued to it, "Pretty close."
You watch as he carefully drags his fingers along the thick length of his cock, still soaked with your release. He spreads your juices along it with his thumb and fingers, fists it gently and very slowly fucks his fist once. Your eyes are hooded and dark, saliva beginning to pool inside your mouth for reasons you can't even begin to understand.
"You just took three fingers," he continues, thumb tracing the base of his wide tip, "So wouldn't you say that answers a question you've been worryin' your pretty little head about?"
Your eyebrows scrunch together, trying to figure out what he means. It's hard to focus on absolutely anything else when his dick is right there in front of you, practically begging to be touched, the fat head pulsing and drooling under your gaze.
"Oh, this is gonna be a problem, isn't it?" he says, amused as he continues to slowly stroke himself, "Can't even think when there's a cock in front of you, huh?"
The words snap you back to reality, but only slightly. You smile sheepishly as you will yourself to look up at his face and away from his dick, "Wh-what question, Mr. Miller?"
He chuckles, "You were afraid it wouldn't fit inside you, babygirl," he reminds you gently, "But it will, we just proved that."
Your brain slowly makes sense of what he's saying and you can't help but feel a wave of relief wash over you; he's right. It had burned a bit, been uncomfortable for a moment or two, but ultimately you'd been able to take all three and enjoy it. You feel a smile spread across your face, and you notice his eyes soften slightly as he looks at you.
"You're right," you say breathlessly, smile still wide, "I did it, didn't I?"
His expression softens even more and he smiles back at you, laughing quietly to himself. He opens his mouth to say something but then seems to think better of it, pulling one of his legs back and moving to sit beside you on the bed instead of over you. Your brow furrows a bit in confusion.
"What is it?"
He just shakes his head, still smiling softly to himself, "Nothin', you're just... you're adorable."
Your cheeks warm at that, unable to help feeling a little self conscious. Now that you've come down from your orgasm you're suddenly hyperaware of your nakedness, of the fact that he can see every inch of your body. You draw the covers up around yourself quickly, hoping he won't mind.
"Such a shy little thing," he murmurs softly, but makes no move to pull the blankets down again like he had before, just watches you with a smile as your gaze slowly falls back to where he's hard and aching.
"Can I...?" you can't bring yourself to say the words, feeling flustered and nervous at the very thought. He just nods and reaches over to touch your hand, strokes your trembling fingers in his grip.
You watch as he carefully maneuvers your hand toward his crotch and slowly places your hand on his cock. Your fingers curl around his girth almost instinctively, imitating what you've seen him do before. Your lips part, breath hitching as your skin touches his most intimate area, a place on a man you never thought you'd ever be able to feel, at least not until you were married.
It's soft. Not in terms of arousal but just in texture, a silky and smooth feeling you hadn't been expecting. You stare down at your own hand in slight awe as your thumb gently strokes along his shaft, brow furrowing at how different it is than what you'd imagined. It's surprisingly just a body part, just an extension of Joel that usually remains hidden and secret; it's not as scary or intimidating when you can touch it like this, play with it like he plays with you.
"Wow," you say softly, barely aware of it as your fist ever so slowly moves along his length, pumps him just once in that hypnotic way he'd showed you; he's still covered in your own release, wet and slippery, but somehow you don't feel grossed out by it.
"You're a natural," he replies just as quietly, and your skin heats again when you look up to see his face, see the desire and pleasure in his expression, "Don't think there's much I need to teach you, to be honest. My parts are a lot simpler than yours."
You smile to yourself and pump him slowly again, this time brushing against the wet and throbbing tip. He makes a faint grunting sound that makes your eyebrows go up.
"This part..." you say quietly, thumbing the head ever so slightly and feeling your heart race when it pulses beneath you, "It feels different?"
"Yeah," he murmurs, biting down on his lip for a moment, "That part's sensitive, kinda like your clit."
You nod slowly, pushing your thumb up a bit and slowly rotating it along the sensitive area. He inhales sharply, grunts again when you prod the spongey head with both your thumb and index finger, teasing it like he'd done with your nipple.
"Fuck," he mutters softly, voice heavy and breathless, "That's it, angel, you got it."
His praise is like a warm blanket, shrouding you in safety and comfort as you slowly pump his cock again, teasing the head intermittently and trying not to smile too much every time he makes another one of those breathy grunting sounds. You feel pride swelling in your chest, the knowledge that you're actually making him feel good pushing you to continue on.
"What about these?" you ask softly, stilling your hand on his cock for a moment to gesture toward his balls, round and heavy beneath the base, "Does it....do they feel good when they get touched, too?"
"Yeah," he murmurs, voice dark and full of arousal, "They do."
"Can I touch them?"
The sound that emits from his throat sounds almost like a growl, low and husky, "Yes," he groans, "Go ahead and touch 'em, sweetheart."
The tone of his voice is slightly desperate, bordering on depraved. Your eyes travel back up to his face and his jaw is slack, eyes hooded as he watches you touch him. You've never seen him like this, almost completely wrecked by something you did.
"Gotta be real gentle," he continues, taking a breath through his nostrils and reaching down to pull his pajama pants down a bit more for easier access, "They're sensitive too."
You resume your slow pumping of his cock with one hand while your other reaches down to lightly trail the tips of your fingers along the shape of his balls, round and tender. You cup them gently, teasing them one by one in your palm. He hisses in pleasure, eyes shutting tightly as he leans back a bit against the headboard.
"Feel good?" you whisper, trying your best to fall into the role Joel usually takes on, the role of the person giving the pleasure.
"Yes, baby," he groans, pressing the backs of his hands against his shut eyes, "Yes, feels so good, sweetheart."
Your pumping gets a bit faster, a bit wetter as precum continues to drool from the tip and down his shaft. It's unbelievable that you're really sitting here in a man's bed, a man about thirty years older than you, pumping his cock and making him come apart like this. You can feel yourself throbbing beneath the blankets, getting wet all over again at the reality of the situation, and when your movements cause the blankets to fall from your chest and expose your breasts again, you don't bother trying to cover up.
Joel groans at the sight, reaching over to tweak one of your nipples between his fingers, making you whimper, "You know what happens when a man comes?" he asks you suddenly, brow furrowing in pleasure, "You learn about that in school?"
You nod quickly, feeling sweat trickle down your face as you continue to stroke him up and down, "Yes," you whisper, "I know what happens."
He groans again, swallowing thickly and taking a deep breath as he begins to palm your breasts, "I'm about to come, darlin'. There's gonna be a lot, need to know where to aim it."
You bite down on your lip, trying to keep all your focus on making him feel good and not on the hands now squeezing your breasts, teasing your nipples. "Wh-where do you want it to go?" But you already know the answer.
"Here," he grunts, thumbing your hard nipples, "These. Wanna come all over these pretty tits, sweetheart, will you let me?"
You nod, "Y-yes, Mr. Miller."
It's everything he needs to suddenly pull himself up from the bed and pull your hands off him, gesturing for you to lie back against his pillows. Your heart races in anticipation, eyes going wide and lips parting again as he leans over you and starts to jack his cock, fast and unrelenting. This is what he'd done the other night, when you'd talked on the phone; you'd tried to imagine what he'd looked like, making his own mess... now you're about to find out.
"Stay just like that, babygirl, just like that," he grunts out, pumping himself over and over as he aims the tip toward your bare breasts, swollen from all the attention he's given them tonight. His expression is tense and so is his body, soft stomach suddenly taut with pressure, chest heaving as he works his hand. He looks almost pained, brows scrunched together as he pulls himself over the edge.
"Come," you find yourself saying quietly, a shaky whimper playing at the edge of your voice, "Come for me."
Within seconds of your words your skin is hit with long ropes of a warm, white liquid, splattering across your breasts in uneven patterns. You watch with hooded eyes as Joel slows his strokes, groans louder than he has all night as his release spurts continuously from the head of his cock, painting you all over. His tense expression eases into one of pure bliss as he tosses his head back again, moaning up at the ceiling.
Wow.
Without asking for permission, without even questioning whether it's proper sex etiquette to do so, you find your hand travelling quickly downward to your wet pussy. You frantically begin to rub your clit, still gazing up at Joel's pleasured form, feeling his come slipping down the sides of your breasts onto the sheets below. You throb and pulse beneath your fingers, whining softly to yourself as your body readies itself for your second orgasm.
Joel looks down at you then, cock still in hand, slowly beginning to soften. He sees what you're doing immediately, and the devilish smirk that crosses his face is enough to send you over the edge.
"Fuuuuck," you moan out as you come, trembling in the sheets and curling your toes in pleasure, "Mmmm," you squirm and writhe beneath his gaze until it's over, then lay still and loose on the bed with barely any thoughts floating through your mind.
The room is filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, both of you coming down from your orgasms and trying to collect yourselves. You can't help but look down at your chest, see the thick patches of come splattered all over your breasts, your nipples. How all of that could come from one person is wild to you; this certainly hadn't been taught in any of your health classes.
The memory of being so naïve, so innocent... it makes you grin. Because you couldn't be further from that person anymore, the one who did everything that was asked of her, never listened to her own heart, stayed on the sidelines and focused on math and extracurriculars and God while other people had these experiences. And now here you are - actually having them.
"I guess I'm not a good little Christian girl anymore," you find yourself saying with a shaky giggle; you suddenly feel reinvigorated, sexually liberated... free.
Joel laughs at that, breathless and genuine. He grins down at you, releases his cock and shuffles downward to lay beside you, "You're my good little Christian girl," he says softly, bringing a hand up to cradle your face, "You did so good."
"Did I?" you ask sincerely, "Be honest, I wanna know."
He just smiles and thumbs your cheek, eyes going crinkly, "You were perfect, babygirl, I swear." He leans forward and kisses you gently, sweetly, like you both didn't just do something completely filthy and depraved - but you're starting to realize that maybe it's normal to do things like this, not as taboo and sinful as you'd always thought.
When you part, you're suddenly painfully aware of the state of the bed, not to mention both of your bodies. You're both covered in a sheen of sweat, you've got come dripping down your skin, and both fluids are already beginning to stain the bedsheets. You make a face.
"Can we...can we change the sheets? And can I maybe take a shower?"
Joel chuckles at that, stroking your cheek one last time before pulling back to extricate himself from the bed, "I'll change 'em, sweetheart. You go get in the shower, it's right across the hall."
You slip out of bed on shaky legs, losing your balance a bit and having to grab on to Joel's bed side table for support. You both laugh, and you find comfort in the casual intimacy of it all - both of you standing there naked without any shame or embarrassment. It's strange and new but so refreshing, that familiar safe feeling warming your skin as you make your way to the bathroom. You pick up your discarded nightdress as you go.
You stare at yourself in Joel's bathroom mirror for a bit longer than necessary, eyes wide as they trail up and down your bare form. Splotches cover different parts of your skin, especially your breasts, nipples swollen and dark, not to mention covered in come. You feel an ache between your legs again at the sight and almost roll your eyes at yourself - when will you stop being this insatiable?
Unable to push down the urge to do so, you carefully drag one of your fingers through the layer of white splattered across your chest, fascinated by its sticky texture. He'd marked you, in more ways than one.
The shower is pleasant and relatively quick; you want to get back in Joel's arms as soon as possible. You try not to think too much about the implication of that desire, the safety you feel when you're with him versus the anxiety you feel when you're not and what exactly that means. You try to remind yourself of your roommates and their experiences, their ability to sleep around without catching feelings or getting attached. How do they do it? How do they do it when being close to another person like this is so intimate and special?
You change back into the nightdress after your shower and slip back into Joel's room, finding him laying in the freshly made bed beneath a new duvet. For a moment you think he might be sleeping, quietly shutting the door behind you and tiptoeing over to the bed. However when you get close enough he opens his eyes and looks at you, a sleepy smile spreading across his face.
"Hey there," he murmurs, reaching down to pull back the blankets on the other side - your side, "Get on in."
Your heart pounds harder than it probably should.
Climbing into bed beside Joel feels surprisingly normal, easy. You wriggle underneath the duvet and cuddle in beside him, immediately wrapping an arm around his solid form and nuzzling your head against his shoulder. He's wearing his pajama pants again but his torso is still bare, the hair on his chest tickling your skin. You feel him press a soft kiss to your hairline and you can't help but smile.
"I'm glad I came over," you whisper with a content sigh, "I was... I was starting to worry you didn't want me."
"Really?" he asks softly, brow furrowing, "Why's that?"
You shake your head and nuzzle in deeper, "Just me being self conscious and insecure, as usual."
His hand comes up to rub your back soothingly, circling it with his palm through your thin nightdress. He pulls you in a bit closer, kisses your forehead again with a bit more firmness.
"It's normal to feel that way," he murmurs against your skin, "But I do want you, babygirl. You're all I think about lately, I mean that." You shiver at his words, closing your eyes and willing yourself to believe that he really does mean them like he says. "Most beautiful little thing I've had in my bed for a long time."
You press a gentle kiss to his collarbone in response, nose trailing along the skin. He didn't shower but you're sort of glad he didn't; he still smells like sex, a deep masculine musk that you can only attribute to him now, a scent that makes you feel safe.
"I just feel bad...making us sneak around and all that," you admit, "I know it's childish and silly, but I'm so scared of disappointing my parents. I shouldn't be but I am."
"You're young," he says softly, tenderly, "That kinda stuff still matters, especially when you're livin' with them. I get it, honey. You don't have to defend yourself."
You grimace against his skin, "I just wish this could be more normal. That you could just be a guy I'm seeing instead of my guitar teacher," you shake your head, "It's not fair."
He pulls you in even closer with a soft chuckle, "Well, if it's any consolation, I'm lookin' forward to teachin' you how to play."
You make a face, "Hymns," you say with a roll of your eyes, "You're teaching me how to play hymns. I don't see anything exciting or sexy about that."
"We'll make it sexy," he murmurs, inching his face downward so it's more level with yours, eyes casting down to your lips, "Thought you were my good little Christian girl."
All thoughts suddenly seem arbitrary when he's looking at you like that, your gaze immediately going hazy as he leans in and kisses you deep, pushes his tongue inside your mouth softly and tastes you. You hum against his mouth as a response, thighs tightening together as if on instinct the second you feel yourself begin to throb again.
"Are you?" he asks huskily when he pulls away, eyes dark but tired, "Are you my good little Christian girl, baby?"
You nod, swallowing down your arousal, "Yes, Mr. Miller."
"You gonna let me touch you while I teach you guitar?"
You nod again, biting back a whimper, "Yes, Mr. Miller."
His eyes dart back down to your lips, hand on your back traveling downward to cup your bare ass beneath the nightdress, "You gonna let me fuck that soft little pussy while you play one of your hymns?"
"Yes, Mr. Miller," you repeat, leaning forward to bury your face in his warm skin and inhale him again, moan softly against the hair on his chest, "Yes."
He squeezes your ass for a moment and then brings his hand back up, pulls you to him and wraps his arms around you tightly, "See, babygirl?" he whispers, "Told you we'll make it sexy."
--
Joel's alarm wakes you around six, rousing you from one of the best sleeps of your life. You open your eyes groggily, feeling him lean over you in bed to turn it off, warm chest brushing your arm. You roll over in bed and cuddle into him again, humming sleepily to yourself when he pulls you in close.
"I gotta get ready for work," he murmurs gently into your hair, "Go back to sleep, I'll wake you when it's time to go."
You frown sleepily but don't have the energy to protest, eyes closing again as you melt back into his pillow. You feel him release you from his embrace and press a kiss to your forehead, a simple reminder that this isn't some dream you're having, it's somehow reality. You smile and fall asleep again within seconds.
--
He wakes you up again after about half an hour, seats himself on the edge of his bed and strokes your hair. You peer up at him with a sleepy and satisfied expression, unable to stop the words that fall immediately from your lips:
"Kiss me."
He doesn't need convincing, still thumbing your hair behind your ear as he leans down and kisses you softly, bumps your nose against his and lets your tongue lazily explore his mouth, tasting mouthwash. You sigh contentedly, pulling back to smile at him while he strokes your cheek.
"Sleep good?" he asks you softly.
You nod, remembering the closeness the two of you had shared all night, the soft hugs and tender cuddles, the quiet intimacy you've never experienced with anyone else. "Amazing," you whisper.
He kisses you again before you get out of bed, then takes your hand as he leads you downstairs. You grab your jacket on the way out of his bedroom, still hanging on the back of his door. You look down at yourself as you both reach the top of the stairs, realizing there's no way you'll be able to walk home in an outfit like this without certainly being accosted by a nosy neighbor.
You push down your worry when you reach the kitchen, unable to stop the grin from spreading across your face when you see that the kitchen table is set with breakfast; scrambled eggs and bacon.
"You made me breakfast?" you ask in awe, looking from the food to Joel and back again.
He laughs, walking over to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup, "I did," he says with a smile, "And as much as I'd love for us to just sit and enjoy it," he looks down at his watch with a grimace as he takes a sip of coffee, "we have about ten minutes before I gotta drive you home and then get to work."
You sit down at the table, picking up your fork and immediately digging into the eggs, "You're gonna drive me home?"
He seats himself across from you, watching you enjoy what he'd cooked with a fond smile, "Can't have you walkin' home in that tiny little thing, can I?" he says teasingly, "Your parents would wring my neck."
You groan, "Oh god, please don't even joke about that. If they knew..."
He just chuckles and starts to eat, looking up every now and then to give you one of those crinkly-eyed crooked smiles that makes you weak. You smile through mouthfuls of food and feel your skin alight every time you feel his gaze on you.
"I don't usually eat this fast, I promise," you say through a mouthful of bacon, covering your mouth, "It's only 'cause we're on a time crunch."
He shakes his head, still smiling, "You're so damn cute."
You try your hardest not to reach across the table and pull him toward you for a kiss.
--
The drive from his house to yours is extremely short, no less than two minutes. Still, you enjoy the short time you spend in his truck, his big hand spread out on your bare thigh while he hums along to a tune on the radio and gives you soft little sideways glances that makes your heart flutter. You can't help but feel like someone else when you're with him, someone more carefree and outgoing, happier and more experienced. It's only when you slowly near your house that you realize maybe this person is who you really are.
"Stop here," you tell Joel with a grimace, still a few houses away, "My parents are still home."
"How're you gonna get in?" he asks with an edge of concern to his voice, eyeing your house, "Think you can climb the fence?"
You bite your lip, "Probably. I've never done it before but I don't have much choice," you lean your head against the backrest in irritation, "God, why did I choose now to rebel? I coulda learned how to do all this shit when I was a kid if I hadn't been so obsessed with being perfect."
He gives you a sympathetic look, thumb stroking your thigh reassuringly, "I'll stay right here 'til you're inside."
You yearn to lean over the small space between you and kiss him, but you know there's always a risk of a neighbor coming out of their house and seeing you. Instead, you place your hand atop the one on your thigh and squeeze his fingers gently, giving him a small smile.
"I had a really nice night," you say quietly, unsure how exactly this kind of thing is done, "And morning."
"So did I, sweetheart," he replies, voice tender, "We'll do it again, promise."
With one final squeeze of his hand you slip out of his truck, tying your jacket around your waist to cover up your legs a bit. It leaves your upper half more exposed than you'd like, your eyes going wide when you realize how much cleavage this nightdress really shows.
"Here," Joel says, understanding your reaction immediately, "Wear this on top." Without giving you any time to protest he's unbuckling himself to undo his plaid button down, shirking it off his shoulders and handing it to you. It leaves him in a t-shirt and jeans, your eyes trailing to his strong arms without meaning to, the arms that had held you close all night.
"Thank you," you murmur, brow furrowing a bit, "You're sure?"
He smiles crookedly and buckles up again, "I'm sure, angel. You keep that."
Your heart flutters as you wrap his shirt around you, slipping your arms into the much too long sleeves and inhaling the scent of him - your new favorite smell - surrounding you. You're never getting rid of this. Ever.
With a wave you hurry down the sidewalk, feeling slightly ridiculous in your layered and baggy outfit but relieved that you're covered up. You eye the tall white fence of your backyard, trying to formulate a plan in your head as you go. Hop the fence, get a ladder from the tool shed and climb up to your bedroom? But did you even leave your window open? You can't help but feel rage in your chest for your parents rules, the curfew, all the nonsense you've been living with for your entire life. Why the fuck don't you have a fucking key to your own fucking house?
You can feel Joel's eyes on you when you reach the fence, still sitting in his truck a few houses down.
Please, God, you think to yourself as you slip one of your sneakers in between the fence posts and yank yourself up, I know I've sinned. I know I'm a mess. And I'm not even sure I really believe in you anymore. But please, if you're there, don't let me make a fool of myself in front of Joel Miller.
Surprisingly, your prayer seems to work. Climbing up the fence is relatively easy; you keep an eye out for your neighbors as you quickly pull yourself over and flop down on the other side, extremely grateful that neither your jacket nor Joel's shirt gets caught on anything. You hurry to the tool shed, eyeing your bedroom window as you go and feeling beyond relieved when you see that it's wide open; God bless Texan summers.
You decide to wait inside the tool shed until your parents are gone, not wanting to draw any attention to yourself with the ladder. You close the door behind you and sink to the concrete floor, heart pounding in your chest as the reality of what you've just done overwhelms you.
You snuck out to see a man. You slept in his bed. He drove you home so you could sneak back in.
Quiet laughter fills the tool shed, all coming from your own mouth. You grin to yourself and shake your head in the darkness, leaning back against the door and closing your eyes. Who are you? Who is this new person you've become? You don't know, but you love her.
You find yourself pulling your phone out of your jacket pocket and typing out a new message, but this time it's not to Joel - it's to your friends from college:
i think i'm officially a bad girl.
2K notes · View notes
drudyslut · 4 months
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— summary: a year after rafe had completely walked out of your life he shows up at your doorstep after hearing rumors that you’d had his daughter.
— warnings: smut! 18+ toxic relationship, cheating, arguing, rafe is slightly jealous, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, slight degrading, lots of praise, daddy kink, angst, soft!dom!rafe, no happy ending (besides rafe being allowed shared custody of his daughter).
— note: part two is here! i got this request for part two of hate that i love you and i honestly just couldn’t not do it. like oooooh yes yes yes. she’s kind of a long one, but not too bad? hope y’all enjoy<3
read part one here !
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❥ hate that i love you (pt. 2) — r.c
It had been a year since you had told Rafe Cameron that you loved him, a year since he’d completely stepped out of your life, leaving you with no true explanation.
You had finally moved on though, you were finally happy with your life, dating someone who loved you, respected you, and most importantly, he loved your daughter as his own.
You’d thought about Rafe every single day though, the thoughts of ‘what if’ filling your mind more than they didn’t, and you hated it. You wished you’d gotten a true explanation, anything other than the bullshit line he fed you- “You can’t love me! No one can love me, i’m unlovable Maybank, okay?”
The words ran through your mind every single day for an entire year, and what made matters worse? Your daughter looked just like him, making it harder to push him from your mind, making it hard to forget how hard you had actually fallen for him, how much you wished he would have given you a chance to prove that you did in fact love him.
You’re pulled from your thoughts, the sound of your doorbell ringing through your ears making you silently curse and pull your hands from the dishes you were doing.
“Who the fuck? Everyone knows Nevaeh naps at this time” you say under your breath, making your way to the door and swinging it open.
You open your mouth, ready to cuss whoever was ringing your doorbell during your very cranky baby’s nap time, but the words die in your throat, tears welling up in your eyes instantly when you see Rafe standing on the other side.
“Hi Y/N..” Rafe says softly, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans as he awkwardly swayed on his feet.
You swallow the lump in your throat, wiping your tears with the back of your hand and clearing your throat, “What- What’re you doing here? I thought you left the island” you say, voice shaky as you try and stave off more tears from escaping.
He steps toward you, reaching his hand out to try and soothe you, but you take two steps back, not daring to allow his touch to reach you.
“Don’t- I- Fuck! What do you want Rafe?”
He lets his hand drop back to his side, a sigh leaving his lips as he drops his head. “I- I wanted to see you, and- and I had a question..”
You scoff, wrapping your arms around yourself as you try and blink your tears away. The pain of seeing his face was quickly being replaced with a feeling of anger, you knew he was about to ask about Nevaeh, and you figured this day would come eventually, but you didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“Save it, you didn’t wanna see me, you came here to ask about my daughter right? I assumed someone would eventually get ahold of you, i’m surprised you even care”
Rafe sighs again, “Y/N can I please just come inside? Talk to you?”
“I don’t think Carter would like that very much”
Rafe’s head whips up, his head tilted to the side and brow knit in confusion, “Carter? Who- Who the fuck is Carter?!”
You laugh darkly, “Carter Young, my boyfriend. Been with him for about eight months, he loves me, he accepts the love I give him, and he loves my daughter like she’s his own!”
This only angered Rafe more, his feet carrying him through the threshold of your front door, slamming it behind him in the process.
“You- You have another man taking care of my daughter? Our daughter?”
Rafe takes two long strides toward you, causing you to quickly match his movements and step backwards. The tension in the air was thick, your ears ringing from the presence of the man in front of you.
“She’s my daughter, Rafe! MY daughter! She doesn’t even know who you are, and you’re to blame for that! Not me! Carter loves us, he takes care of us! Why can’t you just let that be? Live your goddamn life, and leave us out of it!”
Rafe continues walking toward you, making you back up until your back hits the kitchen counter. Your fingertips grip at the countertop so tightly you were sure your knuckles were white.
Rafe places both of his arms on either side of your body, hands placed firmly on the counter as he dips his head down toward your ear. His lips ghost over the lobe of your ear, the feel of his breath fanning over your neck sending a shiver down your spine.
“She’s my daughter too, and if you would have fucking called me, I would have been here for her, so you’re to blame just as much as I am”
His voice was low, and gravelly, tone dripping with anger as he kept you trapped, back pressed harshly into the counter top, his arms caging you in, giving you no room to escape.
“R-Rafe. I- You need to go”
Rafe tsks, shaking his head and exhaling deeply, “ ‘M not going anywhere, Maybank. You know you miss me, you don’t fucking love Carter, you just think you do”
Rafe’s words have your ears ringing, the words that had just fallen past his lips the exact same ones he’d told you about himself a year ago.
“I- I do love him! He’s good for me, you’re not”
He dips his head down farther, his lips lightly scraping across the sensitive skin on your neck, making you suck in a sharp breath and squeeze your eyes shut.
He begins leaving sloppy kisses over the length of your neck, his tongue darting out and licking a stripe up your neck and to the lobe of your ear, teeth grazing at the skin softly. You sigh in content, palms flat against his toned chest as you push him back.
“Fuck it, kiss me” You beg, voice shaky as his blue eyes burn down into you.
Rafe wastes no time, his lips on yours in seconds. He bites down on your bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it lightly. You let out a high pitched moan, Rafe taking the opportunity to force his tongue into your mouth.
The sounds of your heavy breathing and low whimpers bounce off the walls of your kitchen, teeth and tongues clashing together as Rafe digs his fingers into your sides.
“Nevaeh is sleeping, let’s go upstairs, my room” You say against his lips, to which he grins in satisfaction.
He lightly taps at your ass, silently telling you to jump and straddle him. You quickly obey, jumping and wrapping your legs around his torso, his hands both planted firmly under your ass as he held you up and began walking you toward the stairs and into your bedroom.
Once inside your room he drops you to your feet, closing the door softly behind him, leaving it unlocked despite your pleas for him to lock it, his mind hoping that Carter would come home and find his ‘perfect princess’ being fucked by her baby daddy.
Rafe pushes you backward until the backs of you knees hit the soft mattress, shoving you onto your back and climbing on top of you.
His lips find yours again, attacking you with sloppy kisses, teeth nipping and grazing over your sensitive skin and pulling soft whines from you.
“God I fucking missed you, Maybank” He pauses, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge, “You always drove me fucking insane, you feel that? That’s what you do to me”
You blush, his words making butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Shut up, you probably say that to every girl you sleep with”
“I don’t” He places a soft kiss to your lips, “Just you, it’s always been you, Y/N/N”
You sigh, the feel of his soft lips on yours igniting a fire inside you, a fire that only he could bring you. But you couldn’t let him have his way, no, you just wanted to get back at him for the way he’d left you. Make him hurt the way he’d made you hurt.
He pushes himself up on his palms, sitting on his knees and pulling his shirt over his head, exposing his toned and tanned chest and abdomen to you. You run your hands down his front, fingers grazing softly over his abs, your lust filled gaze meeting his.
You smile up at him, “I’ve missed this”
Rafe smirks, undoing the button of his jeans and pulling the zipper down, discarding his jeans to the floor and moving to strip you next.
He pulls your shirt up and over your head, casting it to the side. His hands fly to your bra clad chest, palms firmly grasping at your breasts as he groans, “Fuck, I missed these pretty tits so much”
You wrap your arms around his shoulders, fingernails lightly scraping at the skin, leaving a trail of scratches down the soft skin.
“Lift up baby” Rafe softly demands, hands tugging at the hem of your shorts. You do as he says, lifting your ass off the mattress and letting him slide your shorts and panties down your legs.
He sucks in a sharp breath when he sees your glistening cunt, his fingers moving quickly to run through your slick folds, gathering your arousal on his long, thick digits.
“Such a pretty pussy, wonder if she still tastes as sweet?”
Your body heats up, high pitched whines falling from you as he teases your entrance with his fingers. He lays himself on his stomach, his head dipping down and leaving soft kisses on your aching cunt. He licks a long stripe through your folds and to your clit, flicking at the sensitive bundle of nerves and making you jerk your hips forward.
“Mmm, still so fucking sweet”
Rafe blows onto your core, making you whine, the cold air making goosebumps erupt on your skin. He dips his head back down, his lips wrapping around your clit. He sucks at the bundle of nerves, his tongue flicking and swirling around it and making your brain short circuit.
Your hands fly to the back of his head, fingers digging into his perfectly styled hair and tugging tightly at the locks. “Yes yes, fuck! Rafe!”
You press your head into your pillows, your back arching off the bed as he laps at your core like a man starved. He probes at your entrance with his tongue, fucking it into you before wrapping his lips around your clit again. You gasp when you feel two of his fingers sliding through your slick, pushing the thick digits slowly into your aching cunt.
He begins to quickly thrust his fingers into you, your gummy walls clenching around him tightly. He releases your clit from his mouth, lifting his head as his eyes find your face. He smirks in amusement as he watches you squirm beneath him, his fingers continuing their assault on your pussy.
“Fuck baby, I love the way you look when i’m fucking you with just my fingers, squeezin’ ‘em so tight, fuck can’t wait to fuck this tight cunt, need you squeezin’ my cock like this”
“Fuck, s’close Rafe! Don’t stop!”
Rafe chuckles, curling his fingers up and hitting at that spot deep inside you that sent you spiraling over the edge. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it princess. Come on, cum all over daddy’s fingers, be a good little slut”
You scream out in pleasure, head thrown back and toes curling as your release begins squirting from you, soaking Rafe’s hand and your sheets.
Rafe continues thrusting his fingers, helping fuck you through your high before he pulls them from inside you. You lay limp on your bed, breathing ragged and harsh. Rafe brings his fingers to your mouth, shoving them inside and down your throat, making you gag around them. “Taste yourself baby, soo fuckin’ sweet, yeah?”
You breathe in through your nose, closing your eyes and swirling your tongue around his fingers, sucking them clean as you hum in response.
“Ready to let me fill that pretty pussy up? Gonna br dripping with me when ‘m done with you, Carters gonna know who you belong to then”
He pulls his fingers from your mouth, strings of spit being pulled from your mouth. He pushes you onto your back and spreads your legs open. He takes one hand keeps your leg held open, his free hand shoving his underwear down his legs and kicking them onto the floor. He begins stroking himself slowly, your eyes tensely watching his movements, hips bucking forward as you crave the stretch you know he’ll give you.
He begins sliding himself through your slick, pushing the head in first before fully sinking himself inside you. He begins thrusting into you slowly and sensually, tears welling up in your eyes as you slowly roll your hips with his.
“Fuck, so tight baby. I love fucking you like this, so slowly, so deep you can feel me in your stomach”
You let fresh tears fall from your eyes, your hands flying around his neck and pulling his face toward yours. You leave a soft kiss on his lips as his cock thrusts slowly into you. You feel the fire growing inside you, the band threatening to snap again as Rafe’s tip hits at your g-spot repeatedly.
You suck in a shaky breath, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks, mascara staining the skin as you open your mouth to speak. “I- Fuck, Rafe, I’m so close”
“Let it go baby, cum all over my cock, let me feel you make a mess”
You feel the burn from your core take over your entire body, your second release rushing out of you. You choke out a sob, toes curled and fists tightly gripping the sheets as Rafe fucked you through your high.
“Fuck, I’m right there baby, keep squeezin’ me like that”
Your pussy clamps down around Rafe, sucking him further into you. You feel his thrusts grow sloppy, his hips stuttering as his seed fills you.
He lets his head fall into the crook of your neck, his lips leaving soft kisses on the skin. You feel your heart shatter when he lets the words you wished he’d said to you a year ago fall from his mouth, “Fuck, I love you”
You silently choke out sobs as Rafe rides out his high. Your heart was in a million pieces, you missed him, and you did love him at one point, but you knew what was best for you, and it wasn’t him.
Rafe collapses on top of you, his breathing rough and ragged as he leaves kisses along the length of your neck.
You felt like you were suffocating under his weight and you begin pushing at his chest. He pulls himself from you, sitting himself up and staring softly down at you.
He frowns when he sees your mascara stained cheeks, the look of hurt on your face making his heart shatter.
“What’s wrong?”
You sit yourself up on your bed, swinging your legs over the side and planting your feet on the ground. You quickly stand and gather your clothes off the floor, dressing as fast as you could in silence as Rafe watched you.
You turn to face him, your hand tightly pressed against your chest. “I-I meant what I said, Rafe.. We can’t be together”
Your words make him fly to his feet, grabbing his briefs off the floor and pulling them up his legs. He rushes to your side, placing his hand on your back, his free hand hooking under your chin and lifting your head to meet his eyes.
“What- What do you mean? Let me take care of you and Nevaeh. Please Y/N, I-I love you!”
Your tearful gaze is on him, fresh hot tears falling down your cheeks as you give him a soft smile. “No you don’t, Rafe. You never did. I believe you want to be apart of Nevaeh’s life, and that’s okay with me, we can work out a custody agreement, but- you and I? We can’t be together.. I- I can’t do that to Carter”
“You just cheated on Carter with me? You can’t leave him for me? For our family?”
You softly shake your head no, wiping your fresh tears with the back of your hand. You place a loving hand on his chest, “No Rafe, I can’t. Carter will never find out about this, okay? I love him. I’m sorry.. I wish things could be different, but they can’t. But you can still see Nevaeh, you can have her one week i’ll have her the other week. We can spend holidays together, her birthdays, but besides Nevaeh, we have no reason to be around each other”
You see Rafe’s eyes fill with tears, shattering your heart more than it already was. You hated that you were doing this to him, but it was for the best. You needed this clean break, you needed this closure. A part of you would always be in love with Rafe Cameron, but it just wasn’t meant to be for the two of you, and you’d finally accepted that.
“I understand… Can I- Can I meet her now?”
You grab your phone off the nightstand, checking the time and seeing it was time to get her up from her nap anyways so you nod your head.
“Yeah, get dressed and meet me in her room. It’s the room right next to mine”
You walk out of the room, leaving Rafe to get dressed. You enter the room of your sleeping daughter, pulling her from her crib and softly rocking her. “Wake up baby girl, your daddy’s here, and he really wants to meet you. You’re going to love him, and I know he’s going to love you”
You hear her bedroom door being pushed open, turning your body to face Rafe, Nevaeh still sleeping peacefully in your arms.
Rafe smiles, taking slow and cautious steps toward you. He reaches his hand out, softly running his hand over the top of her head. “She- She’s beautiful, Y/N”
You smile up at him, giving him a soft nod, “She looks just like you. She has your bright blue eyes and already has your crooked smile”
Rafe lets his own tears fall down his face, his eyes taking in the beauty that was his daughter.
“Can I- Can I hold her?”
You nod your head, extending your arms out and placing her in his arms. He expertly holds her, rocking his body back and fourth as he coos and whispers down at her.
“Hi baby girl, i’m your daddy. I love you so much, and I promise i’ll always take care of you”
Your eyes well up with more tears, watching Rafe with your daughter, his daughter, making your heart swell. Even if you couldn’t have his love, you were forever grateful that your daughter would.
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hells-wasabii · 2 months
Note
Can you do a husk reader pretty please like when he starts falling for the reader
A/N: I really liked this one, I'm a huge sucker for the actual falling-in-love part of romance.
Character: Husk
Type: Drabble (Husk x reader, fluff, "Catching feelings")
You were a regular at Husk’s bar, not that there was much better to do at the critically acclaimed Hazbin Hotel.  A damned soul who needed somewhere to unwind, especially from whatever crazy bull shit the princess of hell decided they needed to do. ‘Redemption exercises she called them. Honestly, you still weren’t sure you believed the whole ‘anyone can be a good person if they just try’. Wasn’t being a good person supposed to happen naturally or something? But anything was better than out there, you had come to realize. Redemption sure sounded a whole lot better than eternal damnation.
He wasn’t sure when it started, but now that it was in motion, Husk wasn’t sure he could stop it even if he wanted. He was falling in love.
It wasn’t exactly hard to figure out, either. An innocent question or comment that made him overthink. A fond smile he finds a little too infectious. The way his heart skips a beat when you laugh at something he said. Or maybe it was the way you gave him butterflies any time it was his name on your lips.
Looking down at the bottle in his fist, he paused, the gears turning in his head. With a sigh, the fallen overlord closed his eyes, setting the bottle in its place on the wrack behind the bar.
You hadn’t been by, the fallen overlord realized. Not today, or yesterday for that matter. Now that he thought about it, Husk hadn’t seen you around the hotel at all. He would later find out that you had been sent to a different city on some spur-of-the-moment business on the hotel’s behalf.
As if on cue, the doors burst open, revealing you no worse for wear with a bag slung over your shoulder. 
“Hey, Husk! Here, got you something from Imp City.” Well, that explained where you had been at least. , as you dug something from your pocket. Before the bartender could react you had already reached over the counter and taken his hand in yours, pressing something into his palm.
Confused, but appreciative nonetheless, Husk accepted the little gift. Much to his surprise, it was a playing card, a metallic one at that, set in chrome with black and red accents. A suit in each corner, he realized. But there was something stuck on the back. 
Turning the metallic card in his hand he was surprised to see a sticky note with a handwritten message. Pulling the note off, Husk read it, his eyes softening as he did. ‘To the best listener I know, the one who truly cares’. He looked back up, his eyes catching yours as you shot him a grin before making your way up the stairs.
Maybe being in love wouldn’t be so bad, Husk decided with a smile.
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holllandtrash · 1 year
Text
6 to 1 | lando norris (part 7)
pairing: lando norris x leclerc!reader part 7 in the 6 to 1 series (read part 1 here)
the lead up to the silverstone race is treacherous, painful and downright confusing, and you're not referring to the weather. you find yourself being pulled in different directions and just when you think you've figured it out, your path leads you right back to where you started in the first place
word count: 6.9k tags/warnings: just a lot of angst im sorry
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Usually, when you attended the races, you were there all weekend. From Friday morning till the end of the podium ceremony on Sunday. But for Silverstone, you were dreading walking into that track and seeing Charles so you pushed back your travel plans and decided to only go for the race.
Lando ordered a car for you to take to the hotel Saturday night, something that he really didn’t have to do but he insisted on it and you were starting to figure out which battles to pick with him. This was not one of them. 
He had to be at the hotel with his team Wednesday night, so you really didn’t get to spend too much time with him after the shoot with Quadrant. 
Which, honestly, you were okay with. You needed to pack as you were heading straight back to Monaco the following Monday with Charles and Arthur. You weren’t looking forward to that plane ride. If you were lucky, Charles would have a good weekend and he wouldn’t bring up Lando.
But the second the car pulled up to the hotel, a few drops of rain hit the windshield. The driver made a comment about how conditions would only get worse for tomorrow and you so desperately wanted to ignore the possibility of a wet race, however that seemed to be what everyone was talking about in the lobby.
You picked up your room key and texted both Lando and Charles that you arrived. Lando texted you back immediately saying he was in a briefing with his team but that he’d stop by your room after and Charles, without any context, sent you '1125'. His room number.
You dropped your luggage off, but didn’t give yourself any time to settle in before heading up the few levels to floor 11. Charles didn’t have to say anything other than his room number, you got the hint. He needed to talk to you. 
The door swung open as soon as you knocked. 
“Look I don’t want to fight,” you started off, already sounding defensive as you followed Charles into the hotel room. 
“I don’t want to fight either,” Charles agreed with you, opening up the mini fridge to pull out a bottle of water. “I just want to know what’s going on in your head, Y/N. What are you doing getting involved with a driver?”
“Lando’s just a friend,” but even you didn’t believe your own words. 
Charles gave you a look, one that told you he saw right through your bullshit and you pulled your fingers through your hair, needing a way out of this that didn’t paint you or Lando as the bad guy. 
“Okay fine,” you shrugged helplessly. “I like him, I think. Is that what you want me to say? It’s not as though I’m dating him and even if I was, what’s the big deal?”
You probably didn’t need to add that last question. It was just an open invitation for Charles to tell you everything that was weighing heavy on his mind.
“This is a dangerous sport, Y/N, but this is what all of us drivers have signed up for.” Charles started off with what you already knew before hitting you where it would hurt. “We know the risks when we get in the cars, but we don’t have to think about anything besides what’s on the track…” his pause was deafening. “But if you started dating him, that’s an entirely new element that’s now being introduced to the race.”
You scoffed, “No it’s-”
Charles held up his hand. “Listen to me, Y/N. You would be on the back of my mind if I’m ever even near him on the track. And you’ll always be on his. He might stop pulling risky moves, knowing that if anything happened to him, it would destroy you and not only that, there would be no more racing between us because subconsciously, you’ll be in the cars with us, telling us not to fight, not to put our lives at even more risk.” 
He reasons for you not wanting to date a driver lined up with yours, but he was able to offer it from the perspective behind the wheel.
“It’s the same reason why I’m terrified for Arthur to ever move up to F1,” Charles further explained. “I would jeopardise my own race for him, for his safety. I would do anything to protect him and I would do anything to protect you. If you started dating Lando, then that need to look after you, automatically extends to him.”
You felt sick. You needed to lean against the wall behind you, feeling your legs grow numb. The worry in Charles’ eyes assured you that he was no longer upset or mad about you going behind his back to hang out with Lando, he was now concerned for what lay ahead. 
“I love you and I want you to be happy, I want nothing more than for you to find a partner to be happy with,” Charles rubbed his hand over his face as he shook his head. This was as painful for him to get out as it was for you to hear. “But selfishly, I don’t want you to put your happiness in another driver.”
There really wasn’t anything for you to say. Charles had every right to be selfish. This was his career, his life. You weren’t supposed to be any more intertwined in it than you already were. 
You pushed yourself off the wall, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach as you turned to walk towards the door. 
Charles tried to follow, “Y/N, I didn’t mean-”
You held up a hand towards him as you turned and forced a smile on your face. You really didn’t want to fight. You loved your brother, you wanted to respect what he was asking. He had given you so much. Because of him, you had dozens upon dozens of opportunities and met the most incredible people. 
You could give up this thing with Lando, whatever it was. And better you did it now before it became too hard to walk away.
“You should get some sleep” you told Charles, your voice almost caught in your throat. “I’ll, um, I’ll see you in the morning.”
You left his room without another word. The elevator ride back to your floor was slow, treacherous even as you thought about what sort of conversation you needed to have with Lando. 
You’d wait till after the race. It wouldn’t do anyone any favours to call this whole thing off right before his home race. The least you could do was wait until after to break his heart. 
But then the elevator opened and you saw the driver who had taken up all of your thoughts leaning against your hotel room door. He put his phone away when he looked up and spotted you. His smile broke you. For so long you wanted to be the reason for it and now you were going to be the cause of why it would disappear. 
“How was the drive?” Lando asked, stepping out of the way for you to unlock the door. “It’s starting to rain, hey? The team thinks it’ll be pretty bad for most of the race tomorrow but what’s Silverstone without a little-”
“Lando,” you cut him off promptly, turning the handle to push the door open. You met his eyes for a second before you had to look away, before he could catch on that something was wrong. “Look, I’m really tired, I just want to go to sleep, I’m sorry.”
“Oh,” Lando was a little taken aback, but he didn’t try to talk you into staying up. He reached forward and gave your hand a squeeze, “Okay, yeah, get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
All you wanted to do was pull him into your hotel room and spend the next few hours with him until he had to leave to go to bed. Even then, you’d probably be able to convince him to just spend the night with you. 
But you couldn’t do that. The most you could do was offer up a sliver of a smile before walking into the room and letting the door shut behind you. 
Suddenly, a wet race for tomorrow seemed like the least of your worries.
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You arrived at Silverstone with Charles. He had tried to talk to you all morning and it wasn’t as though you were mad at him, you were just frustrated with the position he had put you in.
It didn’t help that the second you scanned your badge and stepped past the gates, you felt the first raindrop of the day hit your cheek. You looked up, and even with the dark shades on, it was impossible to miss the incoming storm clouds.
“Wet race today, hey?” 
You turned over your shoulder to see Pierre scanning his badge as well. The two of you hadn’t spoken at all since your conversation in Montreal. You asked yourself why you even stopped walking to wait for him, especially since Charles had gone off ahead to get out of the rain.
“Still giving me the cold shoulder?” Pierre asked as he approached you. The two of you started walking down the paddock, thankfully the Ferrari motorhome was close.
“Still telling everyone we slept together?” You retorted and Pierre dipped his head back and laughed.
“Chérie, I told like four, maybe five people,” Pierre tried to play it off, but when he saw you weren’t about to give him the time of day, he grabbed your hand and forced you to stop walking. “Come on, we’re friends. Don’t cut me off like this.”
“No, you and Charles are friends,” you hastily pulled your hand away from his grasp. “I’m just someone who got caught up in the moment.”
It blew your mind how cocky Pierre could be sometimes. It almost made you want to tell Charles what happened just because you knew it would cause a fight between them. Maybe Pierre would second guess his actions if he was getting yelled at by his best friend.
And that way, Charles would have something else on his mind besides you and Lando. If anything bad happened on the track, not like you want something to happen, he could blame it on finding out about Pierre and you. Surely learning that his closest friend and sister slept together was much worse than whatever this fling was that you currently had with Lando.
Speaking of Lando…
You hadn’t even seen him walk through the gates. Your frustration, and therefore your attention, was solely on Pierre. It wasn’t until the bright orange hoodie became impossible to ignore that you pulled your eyes away from the French driver.
Recently when you looked at Lando, you felt a swarm of butterflies attack your stomach. 
Those butterflies were still there, but it was as if they were now trying to claw their way out of your stomach, fighting each other and making you suffer the consequences. 
You didn’t want to end things. 
You wanted to meet him halfway as he approached you and collapse in his arms, who cares who saw? You wanted to kiss him without a time limit and wish him good luck today. You wanted to hang out in the fucking McLaren motorhome which is something you never thought you’d ever find yourself wishing for.
“Little gloomy today, huh?” Lando asked, sounding a lot chipper than how you or Pierre looked.
You glanced up, as did Pierre and you shrugged. The less you spoke now, the easier it would be to end things later.
“It’s not too bad yet,” Pierre pointed out.
“Oh I was talking about Y/N’s outfit,” Lando joked, nudging your arm with his elbow. “What’s with the all bla- are you okay?” Lando's smile dropped and his tone did a 180 the second he noticed you weren’t in the mood for one of his jokes. He glanced between you and Pierre and not so subtly raised an eyebrow.
“I didn’t do anything this time!” Pierre announced, hands held up beside his head in defence as he started to walk away. “Paddock Princess over here was in a bad mood before I said anything.”
You watched him head off for a second before your attention went back to Lando. You tried to dodge his hand when he reached for your sunglasses but he was too quick, pulling them right off your face. 
“You’ve been crying.” 
“You should get inside before it really starts to rain.”
“Look either we keep stating the obvious or we talk about what’s going on,” Lando demanded, not giving you any other option. There was no lighthearted tone any more, no more playful attitude like he usually had when he saw you in the Paddock. 
More people started to walk through the gates, people that were going to want Lando’s attention if he didn’t keep walking, you both knew this. 
“Can we not have this conversation right here?” You asked him, lowering your voice as you nervously glanced around. Ideally, you wouldn’t even be having this conversation. 
And in a strange twist of fate, you got what you wanted.
Lando could see right through you, he saw the hesitation just from your stance alone. The guilt in your eyes was clear even if they were slightly puffy and bloodshot. They way you refused to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds told him that something heavy weighed on your shoulders, something heavy enough to take out the both of you. 
And Lando didn’t want to have this conversation either.
He might not have known exactly what was on your mind, but he didn’t need to ask anything to know it wasn’t good. That and how quick you were to turn him away last night, it was all starting to add up. No words needed to be spoken.
He handed your sunglasses back to you and nodded slightly, like he was accepting the outcome of this, like he knew he couldn’t change your mind, so why bother trying? He walked right past you without saying anything, but that’s what you wanted right? 
No conversation was easier than laying it all out on the table. It was easier to accept the reality as it was than to hear yourself say the words ‘we can’t be together’. 
You slid the sunglasses back on your face and waited a few seconds before heading towards Ferrari, making sure to stay on the opposite side of the paddock. Neither one of you so much as glanced at the other. You heard his name being called before you walked up the bright red steps and the moment you entered the motorhome, you let out the heaviest exhale that had been pressing against your chest. 
Was it even reasonable for you to be reacting like this? You weren’t even dating.
But you were throwing away the possibility of something great, all because you knew you had to put Charles first. 
He was the first person you saw when you walked inside and gathered your bearings. He was in the middle of a conversation with his assistant when you grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
“I hope you’re happy,” you spoke through a bitter laugh. “Me and Lando are done.”
He seemed confused, but when his features softened after a moment, you could tell that he was in fact pleased to hear this news.
“Good,” Charles nodded. “You shouldn’t date a driver anyway.”
“No you shouldn’t have this much say over my life, Charles,” you rubbed your hands over your face, letting what was once sorrow turn to anger. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“It’s not fair?” He raised his voice as well, neither of you caring about the handful of people that were nearby. “I put my life at risk every weekend, the least you could do is not give me something else to think about when I get in the car!”
“You don’t have to think about anything other than the points, don't worry.” You assured him. The venomous tone was impossible to miss. “And good luck today. Hopefully my heartbreak doesn’t ruin your race for you.”
Charles groaned, rolling his eyes at how dramatic he thought you were being, “Y/N-”
“Oh, no, wait, you only give a shit about my feelings when I start caring about a driver other than you, right?” You patted his shoulder, a bit of force behind it as you sucked in a sharp breath. “Brother of the year, over here.”
You walked past him and he was smart by not trying to talk to you, instead choosing to go up to his drivers room. You sat down on the couch in the hospitality lounge, lips pursed together tightly as the sound of raindrops hitting the window behind you started to grow loud enough to drown out your own thoughts.
You would have loved nothing more than for the race to start, to stand in the back of the garage and flip Charles off before he slid his helmet on. You wanted to flirt with Carlos right in front of your brother before he was inevitably dragged away. You wanted to watch the race and cheer Lando on for a change. You wanted to do anything and everything that would purposely get under his skin.
But things never seemed to work out in your favour. 
It was announced the race was postponed due to the oncoming storm and you stayed right there on that couch, watching everyone else scurry around to figure out the new game plan for the day.
Charles' assistant tried talking to you at one point, but you just shook your head. She got the hint and turned right around.
You weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone in the motorhome, that was pretty obvious. If the all black outfit wasn’t enough to deter people away already, your constant crossed arms and the fact that you wore sunglasses inside sure had people second guessing whether or not they wanted to approach you during the wait.
A couple hours went by and you received a few curious looks, but the only person who didn’t give a single fuck that you were purposely trying to look reclusive, was Carlos. 
He dropped down on the couch beside you, arm stretched on the back of the couch behind your shoulders as he playfully twisted the end of your ponytail around his fingers.
You yanked your hair out of his hand, “What do you want, Carlos?”
“Why are you in a bad mood?” He was straight to the point, you liked that about your friendship. There wasn’t any bullshit.
“I’m not,” okay maybe there was a little bullshit.
“Okay,” Carlos nodded, going right back to playing with your hair, “Why is Charles in a bad mood?”
“I don't know, it’s not my problem.”
“I think it is, hermosa,” Carlos snickered, “I think you two are each other's problems.”
“Fine, you know what,” you turned on the couch to face him. Carlos was a bit taken aback to see you give in and talk so easily, “Charles’ problem is that he thinks my life affects his and my problem is that I care too much about what Charles thinks. Do you see how this is a bad cycle for us to be in?”
Carlos paused. You could tell by the way his jaw tensed he was trying to figure out what to say, but you were purposely vague and the more time that passed with you just staring at the Ferrari driver, the more it sank in for both of you that he probably couldn’t help you.
“Is this about Lando?” Carlos eventually asked. “And how about how you two have been getting close recently?”
You inhaled a sharp breath, “This is about me practically being forced to put Charles first.”
“As opposed to…”
“Putting myself first.”
Carlos raised his eyebrows. Everything you said was just adding to the confusion and you eventually just gave up trying to keep it bottled in.
You repeated what Charles had told you last night. You told Carlos about the added risks Charles had if you started dating a driver, you shared the concerns and how guilty you felt for wanting to see things through with Lando when you knew you owed it to Charles to call things off. You expressed that you were upset and angry and broken and confused at the same time, which shouldn't have been possible.
“He told me he didn’t want me to put my happiness in a driver,” you rested your elbow on the couch, cheek to palm as you tried to ignore the pain of Charles’ words for the second time in less than 12 hours.
Carlos didn’t say anything for a few seconds. And then those seconds turned into a minute. And then that minute turned into three and you had to hit his arm to get him to look at you, worried that he had been thinking too hard and accidentally zoned out.
“Carlos,” your eyebrows furrowed together, “Say something.”
He opened his mouth, only to close it once again. You rubbed your hand over your face, wondering why you decided an F1 driver would make a good therapist. 
“I just-” Carlos couldn’t get the words out. “I don’t get it, is all. When we get in the car, we know that nothing else matters except the race. Charles doesn’t have the right to pull you into the car with him, metaphorically of course. If he does that and messes up his race, that’s his own fault.”
You wished that was the case, but Charles didn’t see it like that. 
“Okay, let’s say you were dating a driver, Lando, for example” Carlos started off, dragging his fingers over his lower lip. “Charles is the one who needs to learn how to separate it. He needs to learn when it’s time to see Lando as the competition and when to see Lando as the person who makes you happy.” Carlos dropped his hand to your leg, “That isn’t on you. That’s on him.”
“But it’s just going to make his life difficult and I don’t want that for him.”
“Charles is a grown man I think he can figure it out,” Carlos’s assuring smile spread across his face. “Plus with the amount of gossip that goes on in the paddock, I don’t get why this, your happiness, is what he’s choosing to make you feel guilty for.”
You nodded in agreement before Carlos’ words actually hit you. 
“Wait,” you pointed a finger at him. “What gossip?”
Carlos instantly knew he messed up, “I didn’t-”
“What. Gossip.”
But his silence said it all. This fucking Pierre bullshit was coming back to haunt you again. You dropped your hands to your face and let out a muffled scream. There were a handful of people who were nearby who gave you a look of concern, but none of them mattered.
When you looked at Carlos again, his face had gone red. 
“So you know and Charles knows?” You asked. “About me and Pierre?”
“Well he doesn’t-” he shrugged. “Charles has an idea but he’s not going to ask you or Pierre about it. He can pretend it didn’t happen if you never confirm it.”
“But he knows,” you clarified. It wasn’t your fault that Charles just wouldn’t accept the reality of what happened. “He knows and yet somehow, that doesn’t affect him on the track? He can race Pierre like normal but the second I’m actually happy with someone, it’s game over?”
Again, Carlos didn’t know how to respond and this time, you weren’t sticking around and waiting for him to. You stood up from the couch and walked up the stairs of the motorhome, knowing your brother was in his driver's room. Carlos was hot on your heels, probably regretting having dug this past up because whether he liked it or not, he was now caught in the middle of it.
You didn’t even knock on Charles’ door, you just swung it open. Charles was sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone, half dressed for the upcoming race. His fireproof long sleeve was on but his drivers’ suit was hanging around his hips. He looked up at you, confused as to why you just barged in.
You just blurted it out.
“J'ai baisé Pierre.” I fucked Pierre.
Charles’ mouth dropped.
You repeat yourself, in English this time. “I had sex with Pierre.”
He stood up, looking at Carlos behind you for help, but Carlos was just as stunned as he was.
Finally, you said it in Italian, just to get the message across loud and clear. “Ho dormito con il tuo migliore amico." I slept with your best friend.
Charles was speechless. He tried to sputter out the word ‘what’ but he had no voice. He just kept shaking his head, as if that would do anything.
“And-” you decided to keep going. Everything was already up in flames so why not keep feeding the fire, right?
You turned and grabbed Carlos’ shirt to pull him towards you. Before he had time to react, you pressed your lips to his. For a second, you did panic about not knowing whether or not he would even consent to this but when you felt Carlos start to kiss you back after a few seconds, presumably forgetting his teammate and your brother was standing right in front of you, you figured it was fine.
You pulled back and looked at Charles, “-I just kissed your teammate.”
“What the fuck-”
“I like Lando,” you harshly cut him off.
This was the first time you were saying it without the word maybe in front or i think following it. This was also the first time you didn’t feel any sort of hesitation. It was freeing.
“I like him. And I don’t know how strong these feelings are, I don’t know if they’ll last, all I know is that he makes me so stupidly happy, and selfishly-” you used his word against him. “-I want to hold onto that for as long as I can.”
You felt Carlos tap your shoulder and you held up a finger towards him, indicating that this was not the time to dissect that kiss. 
Charles looked ready to strangle you. And Carlos, but mostly you. “Y/N why are you saying this? Why did you just kiss him?” He gestured to his teammate. “What the fuck is going on? I race today and you think it’s smart to drop all of this on me?”
“Charles, you seem to think that what happens in my life affects yours, more specifically affects what you do on the track and I don’t think that’s the case.” You took a step forward, keeping your voice as calm and reasonable as possible as you said what you should have told him last night. 
“Really, it’s just what you choose to do with the information that you’re given and now you know everything. Now there’s three drivers on the track you might see differently as opposed to one and I know you. I know you’re a strong enough driver, and strong enough mentally, to not let any of this get to you. If you want your emotions to get in the way when you’re in the car, that’s on you. That’s not on me.”
There was definitely an easier way to go about this conversation. You didn’t have to walk in announcing you had sex with his best friend and kissing Carlos probably wasn’t needed, but it all furthered your point.
“My life is intertwined with yours. It has been since I decided to accompany you to all of these races and yes, I will be your biggest supporter but I will also live my own life at the same time,” slowly but surely you could see Charles' shoulders drop as he started to untense. “You can’t blame my feelings for Lando if you have a shitty race, okay? You can’t blame me.”
You started to back up and Carlos stepped out of the way for you.
“Where the hell are you going now?” Charles asked.
“To fix things,” you waved off his concern and practically ran down the stairs and out the front doors of Ferrari.
You were sprinting as you made your way down the paddock. The rain was coming down hard now and your eyes were set on the McLaren motorhome. 
You probably looked insane. Running down the puddle-filled paddock in platform boots without an umbrella but in all honesty, this was probably the best time for a grand gesture. Everyone who worked for the media was finding shelter right now, you were in the clear.
You walked up the steps but someone from the team who had been standing outside under the awning stopped you before you could reach for the door. 
“I’m sorry, Ms. Leclerc, you can’t just go in there, not without an invitation,” he told you, obviously recognising you as being Charles’ sister. It made sense. You were, by association, with Ferrari.
“I need to talk to Lando,” you wiped at your eyes, pushing the wet strands of hair out of your face. You felt around for your phone but came up empty handed, figuring you must have left it back on the couch in Ferrari. “Please, two seconds. That’s all I need. Tell him I need to talk to him.”
He held up a finger and opened the door to head inside. You waited for a second but your clothes were soaking, your hair was sticking to your face and neck. Your make up was ruined and the rain was freezing cold, so obviously you walked inside as well.
A hush fell over the motorhome when the door shut behind you. Mostly because you stood out like a sore thumb. Everyone was wearing orange, you were the only one dressed in all black and you were the only one who looked like they just jumped into a pool with all of their clothes on. 
You smiled awkwardly, shoulders tightening as you pressed your back to the door. You were wondering who was going to say something first, who was going to kick you out, and surprisingly the one who spoke up was Oscar.
“For christ sakes get her a towel or something,” Oscar called out, standing up from the table he sat at. You mouthed a quick thank you to him.
You and Oscar had never exchanged a single word before, maybe a smile here or there, but you were truly appreciative that he acknowledged you as someone who just needed to dry off right now, not as someone who was associated with Ferrari. 
Someone who worked with Hospitality crossed the floor with a few clean dish towels, telling you it was all she had at the moment. You thanked her and then looked up at Oscar who was also making his way to you. 
“Hi,” you breathed out, ringing out your hair. “I know I shouldn’t be here-”
“Oh I don’t mind at all,” Oscar laughed. “I take it you’re here for Lando?”
You didn’t nod. You actually didn’t say anything, your mouth just fell open and you forgot how to breathe when you realised that Lando had most likely told his teammate about you.
“I might be,” you reluctantly answered. “I might also be here because I heard that you guys have the best espresso machine.”
“Espresso is a piss poor reason to venture outside during a storm.”
You chuckled, nodding in agreement as you wiped the cloth under your eyes. The amount of makeup that had transferred to the towel was horrendous. You didn’t even want to know what you looked like right now. 
“Is he-” you glanced towards the staircase behind him. Why was it so hard for you to finish your sentences? Why was Lando clouding every one of your thoughts to the point that you couldn’t get more than a few words out? Why did he affect you so much?
At that moment, the security from earlier started to descend the stairs. Instinctively, you stood closer to Oscar, trying to make it seem as though he was the one who invited you in.
“He’s busy,” was all the McLaren employee said.
“Bullshit he’s busy,” you spat, coming across much harsher than you intended to. “The race is postponed, he’s not doing anything!”
“He told me to tell you he’s busy.”
You looked at Oscar, it was obvious he felt a little awkward standing in the middle of the conversation, but he wanted to help. What was good for his teammate was ultimately good for the team and Oscar so desperately hoped you weren’t here with malicious intent. 
“You can hang out in my driver's room,” he offered, his lips curving upwards into a smile. Oscar turned to the security, “She’s my guest too, it’s fine.”
This employee knew Oscar was lying through his teeth and all three of you knew Oscar’s room was right next to Lando’s. But because you were given the go-ahead from a McLaren driver himself, he couldn’t do anything to prevent you from walking up the stairs, boots squeaking against the floor the entire way. 
Glancing over your shoulder, you shot Oscar a thankful smile and he gave you a thumbs up. Part of you felt horrible for never giving him the time of day before. Subconsciously, you saw him as the driver who replaced Daniel and held a bit of a personal vendetta, but it was clear he had a good heart. 
You waited until the security guard looked away before sneaking around the corner to where Lando’s room was located. You read his name on the plaque a few times and thought about knocking, but if he knew you were outside the door he wouldn’t open it. 
So you turned the handle and pushed the door open. Lando wasn’t even in his racing suit, opting for a pair of joggers and a hoodie as he waited for the race start to be announced. He was leaning against the massage bed and looked up from his phone, barely even acknowledging you before turning right back to his phone.
“I don’t really feel up to chatting right now,” Lando muttered.
“Fine then just listen,” you walked in and shut the door behind you. 
Your heart was pounding and you would have liked to blame your trembling on the fact that you were just standing in the rain but you knew it was because you were finally about to be honest with Lando.
“I think I made a mistake,” you stated. Lando didn’t look up, choosing to disregard your words. You couldn’t blame him. You went from barely being able to look at him a few hours ago to dramatically confessing your feelings. “I didn’t want to admit it before, but Lando I really- I like you.”
“Yeah you like a lot of things,” Lando was unamused as he scratched the side of his face. “You like chocolate cheesecake, you like daisies, you like Daniel’s merch-” he inhaled a sharp breath, still keeping his eyes on his phone. “You like speaking French over Italian, you like supporting the underdogs, you like that you have a presence in the Paddock.” This was taking a turn, “You don’t like driving, you like when someone understands your humour, you like putting your family first even if it means putting yourself last, you love cooking, you have a weird obsession with shitty movies.”
 Finally he looked up.
“You like when people compliment you but you never know how to respond. You like being needed but you don’t like needing someone. You don’t like the unknown which is why a relationship scares you, regardless of who it's with. You like leading me on because you don’t care about the consequences afterwards and I fall for every word you say, every hypothetical you tease, because I think that maybe this time, it’ll be different, and do you want to know why I know all of this? Why I've put up with all of it?” 
This seemed like a rhetorical question but you responded meekly anyway, “Why?”
Lando paused. He pushed himself away from the bench and walked towards you slowly. His jaw tightened, there was no trace of a smile. Even if what he had to say was good in nature, it was only going to destroy you. 
“Because I like you,” he said, sounding so sure of himself and simultaneously like he wanted to take back those words the second he said them. “But I’m not about to waste my time at this halfway point with you. There’s a line here and I’m willing to cross it, to meet you so far past the middle it to make this work, but I don’t think you can say the same. So until you decide, fully and completely, what you want…stop stringing me along.”
Lando had never been so serious before.
Your entire friendship, relationship, whatever the fuck you wanted to call it, was playful and fun and he was the reason why your jaw hurt from laughing. He was the person who wanted to take care of you, to make you smile and now he was so close to giving up on all of that, all because you were going to put Charles first.
You genuinely couldn’t blame him. You had been back and forth for weeks. It may not have clicked until now, but you had been leading him on. He had done so much for you and practically overnight, you were nearly ready to forget all of it.
There was a knock on the door. Neither of you made the move to answer it, instead letting whoever was on the other side inform Lando through the wall that it was time to change and head down to the garage. 
He was waiting for you to say something. He was waiting for you to tell him that you wanted him. And you knew you did, but why couldn’t you open your mouth? Why did your fears outweigh what was right in front of you? Why was it still so hard to let yourself be happy with Lando?
Lando nodded, accepting once again that no answer was probably better than the answer he didn’t want to hear. He gestured towards the handle of the door. Without saying a word, he was politely asking you to leave. 
And because you still couldn’t say anything, because you couldn’t meet him halfway, you left. You stepped out in the hallway, avoiding the eyes of nearby McLaren employees as you walked down the stairs. You passed Oscar before reaching the front doors and he gave you a hopeful look, curious if all was worked out between you and his teammate. 
You shook your head, still unable to find your voice. 
When you stepped outside, it was still raining but it had eased up. It was a light drizzle compared to the storm you ran through earlier. 
By the time you made it back to Ferrari, most people had already left to go to the pitlane and the garage.
An exception to that was Charles.
“Don’t,” you demanded. You didn’t want to hear anything from him, but he was clearly waiting for you. He didn’t comment on your rung out appearance or your smeared makeup. It wasn’t his place to, anyway. He just stood up and walked over to you, zipping up his racing suit in the process.
“I stand by what I said,” Charles declared and all you could do was roll your eyes as he continued. “You shouldn’t put your happiness in a driver.”
“And what if I already did?” You retorted, quite loudly. “What if I already did and I didn’t realise it until it was too late and now- and now I have nothing? What if I’m worse off now than I was before?”
For a split second, you could see it in his features. Charles was conflicted too. 
There was Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc. The man fighting for championship winning points. The guy who risked his life every time he stepped into the cockpit of the car.
And then there was your older brother. The one who hated that he was the one who put you in this situation. Your brother, the one who said he wanted to keep you safe, was the sole reason there was a sense of vulnerability and emptiness looming over you. 
You didn’t feel those things because you had feelings for Lando. You felt those things because Charles made you feel guilty for supporting someone other than him. 
And even after everything, after you came to the realisation that you wanted Lando, after you dropped a bombshell on your brother, after you ran across the paddock for some stupid grand gesture, where did you find yourself?
Standing in front of Charles.
No wonder Lando had his doubts with you.
“I can’t be here,” you admitted, your chest feeling tight once again. “I can’t watch the race, I’m sorry.”
For once, Charles wasn’t going to stand in your way. He had done enough damage.
“Take the plane back to Monaco if you want, there’s a car that will take you the airport-”
“No, I’m not going to Monaco,” you shook your head. Monaco was the last place you wanted to go. You didn’t want to walk into your empty flat. There was nothing for you there.
There was nothing for you here either. You couldn't stand to look at Charles. Lando wasn't going to talk to you until you figured out what your intentions were but you couldn't figure it out if you were watching a race. You needed to leave.
And you needed to go to the one place that actually felt like home.
masterlist here
taglist: @moneymasnn@thotd-f1 @masonspulisic @mcmuppet@f1-futurewag-16-3-4-63 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @themisric @happydazzz123 @moonxblossom @norrisleclercf1 @scarlettisconfused @sbgal @e-lisa-bettan @harrysdimple05 @ophcelia @alesainz @fandomxs1 @majx00 @sbgal @mehrmonga @themockingjayreader @f1mockingjay @topguncultleader if i missed anyone im so sorry
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impishjesters · 6 months
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hiii! Could I just say that I absolutely love your writing and they way you describe jax? I love your writing style as well. So-
Could you write a jax x reader where the reader is very sensitive and prone to crying? Like they have a super loud and bold personality, kind of like jax, so you'd think a few mean words wouldn't affect them right? Wrong. They're actually super sensitive and can cry easily. Like maybe if jax were to get into a fight with reader and maybe takes it too far?
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warnings(s): Jax, insults/name calling, nondescriptive arguments, angst (I tried to balance it out with some fluff in the second half) note(s): Jax is a noticeable ass in the first half of this, honestly Jax is his own warning A/N: I truthfully believe that his reaction would heavily depend on whether the two of you were just two people trapped here vs in a relationship of some sort. I don't want to post him being only an asshole, so I included his response/reactions if you were his s/o as well. (Also thank you for the kind words! 💜)
As two people trapped in the digital hellscape together
It doesn’t take you long to learn Jax’s disregard for the emotions of others. His blatant disregard for Gangle’s tears and Pomni’s little panic attacks that he only eggs on are proof enough.
Jax would’ve never suspected you to be sensitive given your loud and bold personality, he’s never noticed the subtle change in your posture or behavior when you get insultingly clumped in with the rest—or if he did notice, he never said anything.
A fight with Jax is a one-sided fight, he’ll throw some backhanded question about why you were suddenly being a crybaby, an unfunny joke about how you must’ve taken Gangle’s tragedy mask when he wasn’t looking.
“Look it’s not that big of a deal, I don’t know why you’re getting all bent out of shape.”
Jax is an ass through and through, he’s not trying to gaslight you into believing you’re crying over nothing, he genuinely believes you’re making a big deal out of nothing. It’s just words.
As his s/o
Again you are aware of just what kind of person Jax is—that said you are given some leniency to his awful behavior, unlike the others you have a special place in his chest cavity
As mentioned above he never really suspected you to be sensitive, though he can sort of piece two and two together when your behavior changes or if you just up and outright walk away.
Seeing your eyes water is definitely an indicator that what was said may have offended you in some manner.
Jax isn’t good with this sort of stuff, does he approach you and ask about it? Or does he just ignore it and let you come to him?
Ah, fuck…
It’s not that he doesn’t care that he upset you, but he’s just a tad confused about why you are suddenly upset.
The whole thing gets even messier when the two of you get into a fight. To him, this “fight” isn’t a big deal, when you mention that it’s something he said callously, he’s reminded of the times you walked away seemingly upset.
It takes him a few minutes to compose his thoughts and word himself carefully enough to avoid making the situation any worse, it’s one of the rare times you’ll get him to be more genuine and serious to work this out.
Afterward, he makes the effort to remember not to say or do certain things that particularly upset you. Though it’s tough, sometimes that shit just comes out with no filter, and whoops there he goes saying the thing he told himself he wasn’t going to say with you around.
None of it is ever directly aimed at you though, he can do that much at least.
On the occasion that something minor slips he’ll apologize later on, sigh, and give you a hug. Hugs don’t fix everything but they do get you to stop crying. (This is usually only during cases where you get choked up levels of sensitivity, like, a dog in a movie died and that’s a sad kind of sensitivity.)
On the topic of crying, Jax playfully (genuine) pokes fun at you when you cry over something minuscule. He’ll tease and ask if it’s a hobby crying over the little things—again not maliciously, if anything it’s kinda cute. (You are allowed to take a smack at him if his teasing is too much, he probably deserves it.)
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darkcircles4lyfe · 11 days
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it's a story about hands (reprise)
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Yeah, okay, today's the day.
I gave my blog that title for a reason, you know, and it has loomed over me for years because the hand motif is absolutely everywhere and you could go on about it forever.
Maybe that's something I'll never actually attempt to do, but this chapter, we reached a breaking point.
Before I continue, I need to give a big, big disclaimer: I do not have a physical disability, so I'm not able to speak about that from the standpoint of representation as a first-hand perspective. I have at least listened to enough disabled people to know that fictional characters who become amputees only to miraculously gain their limbs back is, um, a trope. Disabled people in general being "healed" is a conception we would really prefer to avoid here. Not to call people out, but I don't think we're giving enough space to acknowledge that.
I don’t feel comfortable making the judgement call about what should happen. I’m leaving that open. I also don't want to downplay people's emotional reactions. Honestly, I don't know if I can accurately define the line between acknowledging real pain vs. ableist pity. But I’d like to talk about the possibilities of what could happen. Other characters have definitely gotten permanent disabilities as a result of their hero work, or even just the side effects of their quirk. But, for better or worse, I don't think this case is really about representation. Not that Horikoshi won't do that justice. He might. What I'm saying is that's not his purpose for having Izuku lose his arms. It's meant to be symbolic, so we can explore what it means. The other thing I’m keeping in mind here is that Horikoshi is notorious for playing with our expectations, like, alllllll the time. I mean, just take a few chapters ago for a classic example. Eri appeared at the end, and we all assumed she was about to take some sort of action to save someone with her quirk. Then, immediately following, we were given an explanation for why that wouldn’t be happening. And now it’s clear he wanted to do that “fake out” not just as a silly cliffhanger prank, but specifically so we would know not to suspect that Eri could be the miraculous solution to Izuku’s loss of his arms. Rest assured, there is no easy way out of this.
The expectation at play in this particular instance is an old one. It’s very understated, but its subtext has burned so brightly, you’d be a fool not to notice it. It sits with anticipation like one half of a call and response. Man, I was so certain. Lots of people still are. I was really looking forward to printing the panel where it happened onto a t shirt and wearing it proudly. All the hand motifs in this story radiate thematically from a single moment, the one that started it all for Izuku.
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It raises all kinds of questions about the act of saving, who needs saving, why, what does it mean, what are the dynamics of power, politics, honesty, exploitation, compassion, pity, disdain, sacrifice. Katsuki has dealt with many of these since he first rejected Izuku’s hand. While Izuku was the one who was convinced Katsuki would keep on rejecting him…
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…Katsuki was the one who kept that moment in his mind all these years and eventually came to regret it.
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Katsuki is the one yearning for that hand-hold, the one who has imbued it with so much more weight than it ever originally had. Izuku, in contrast, does not allow himself to dwell on what he wants. To illustrate this difference, we need to look at another piece of foreshadowing:
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Ugh, do y'all remember when lots of folks were complaining about how there never seemed to be actual consequences for Izuku's destructive treatment of his own body? I don't blame them, I was concerned and confused about it too. There were several "fixes" along the way. Recovery Girl healed him, but left a physical reminder. Then he started training to fight with his legs… sometimes. Then he got support items. All of these were unsatisfying non-conclusions because they didn't present Izuku with a lasting enough impression to change in a meaningful way. They didn't address his core, his origin.
Of course, that all changed this chapter. Now it looks like our frustration was inflicted intentionally. With the current context in mind, all of these moments look more sinister, like this day was always gonna come because they kept putting bandaids on a deep emotional and psychological wound. The problem is pretty much spelled out for us here:
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As Katsuki put it, he just doesn’t take himself into account, ya know? He doesn’t care what happens to him. And he lies about it, to keep others from worrying, to keep them safe. To keep them from returning the favor and putting themselves in harm’s way for his sake. His motivations are noble,
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…but what about the little boy inside Izuku? Who saves him?
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This is all about Izuku giving himself up to the point that he literally has no more to give. The thing is, I bet he saw this coming. He knew his limits and decided to keep going anyway, because his personal safety and wellbeing are not important. Now that way of thinking has come back to bite him because the fight isn’t over yet, and he’s already made his sacrifice. So now we know who will be more distraught over this. Not Izuku—Katsuki.
It’s not about Izuku becoming disabled, it’s about how Katsuki wanted to use the intertwining of their fingers to communicate that he would never let go. Never stop valuing him most. Never let himself make the mistake of rejecting him again. Never let Izuku be so reckless with his life. To say: “we are in this together.”…if only Katsuki believed he deserved to be able to say such things. To reach out his hand would have been the ultimate way to simply imply them and let Izuku be the one to decide. Then, to feel their hands clasped together would be more than either of them dared hope for, but so beautiful, so right. A moment they’ve waited their whole lives for.
Yeah. That’s what we were expecting. We’ve been so comfortable. Horikoshi gave us all the signs. He tempted and teased us over and over. BUT. You know he does this thing were he gives us a desirable, completely plausible and simple thing to look forward to, and then he snatches it away. And THEN he replaces it with something much better, something we were not expecting at all because it seemed too good to be true. That’s exactly what happened when Himiko snatched Izuku away, and we were robbed of the chance to see him and Katsuki fight together. In hindsight, though, I’m glad things went a different way because now there’s so much more depth and angst on display. Likewise, in the present moment, we may consider how, as one door closes, another opens.
As wonderfully meaningful as the hand-hold would have been, perhaps it is still too simple a resolution for Izuku, for his and Katsuki’s relationship. Tbh, it could have been done like 100 chapter ago. At this point, there’s so much more potential. There are a couple of ways it could go. If Izuku stays armless, Katsuki will be forced to use other methods to get his point across. He’ll have to do something else, or say what he means, or both. Yes, I’m talking about what you think I’m talking about. If I say it, I just might jinx it (lol), but I mean it. I’m being serious. Either way, if Izuku did get his arms back in the end, I’m sure that it wouldn’t be an easy fix. It would be hard-won against Izuku’s self-destructive mindset, and/or by Katsuki’s conviction. Again, I say this knowing it is not meant so much as a representation of disability, but as a representation of Izuku’s greatest character flaw taken to the extreme. I know this might sound harsh, like, hasn’t he been through enough? I get that, but… I’ve said it before and I say it again: Izuku is stubborn as hell.
I wish I had a resounding final note to end this on, but I kinda don’t. I’m not sure what’s best. Now we just have to wait and see what Horikoshi has in mind.
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