#confucious SAYS that being good at caring for others is more important than being good at academics

[rubberbandballqueen]

“when his father dies, observe a man’s purposes; when the father dies, observe his actions. if for the three years [of mourning] a man does not change from the ways of his father, he may be called filial” (t/l james r. ware 1955) okay but like confucious my dude my bro my guy this is wisdom #11 and you’ve already acknowledged in previous wise snips that there will always be some people who are dickish troublemakers, so, like, what do you do if a man’s father was an dickish troublemaker, huh. according to you, that is an uneducated man, which is ofc undesirable.

so, like, is it better to be filial (and turn out like your father the dickish troublemaker), or unfilial (and turn yourself into an educated man who obeys his duty to his ancestors and brothers) in this case?? like bro what

#to be filial is to be good right? but then what do you do when being filial in this case is to be bad to your countrymen? #confucious SAYS that being good at caring for others is more important than being good at academics #or at least learning to obey your duties to your parents and your peers should come before book learning #*rattles this old man around* which is more important then what do you do if you have a bad father #the worm speaks

[maleyanderecafe]

Yanderes Killing their S/O

Hello again to another one of these analysis posts! I've been thinking lately about yandere tropes and one of the biggest ones that came up in my mind was the idea of yanderes killing their s/os. A lot of people in asks have often stated that this idea is rather cliche or not executed properly, so let's get into why that might be.

First, before examining this, let's talk a bit about the origins of yanderes. I've probably mentioned this a bit before either in other asks or other analysis, but the idea of yandere comes from the deconstruction of the trope Yamato Nadeshiko. Obviously, there are other cases of yanderes outside Japan, but we'll talk specifically about the Japanese history of it. Yamato Nadeshiko is the idea of idealized Japanese women. A person who is a Yamato Nadeshiko is often very obedient, graceful, and has maturity and humility while still being able to rule with a forceful push without being overly emotional. This is the idealized version of Japanese women, at least in the Neo-Confucious era. However, the deconstruction part of this comes when the character in question doesn't have this kind of inner force, basically becoming a doormat. When a character is overly graceful and still gets stepped on like a doormat, they are likely to snap and become violent, something that is shown a lot when it comes to yanderes. This is where the deconstruction comes in. If the character is forced to love such a perfect life but is still stepped on over and over again, at some point, this person will snap and destroy everything in their path. This idea still persists a bit in yanderes as often yanderes are characters who outwardly seem very graceful and perfect, while inwardly they are more obsessive. There is a really good read on it here that goes more in-depth with the origins of yanderes and the psyche of Yuna.

Like I've said before, we can still see how the idea of Yamato Nadeshiko still persists in yanderes, at least in broad terms. A lot of yanderes, in both male and female forms, are often depicted as kind, graceful and smart, at least initially. For instance, in terms of a school setting, this kind of character is not only nice to everyone but has the best grades, a huge army of fans behind them, and good teachers. Outwardly, they're likely to be depicted as perfect or a kind person, but inwardly, it's likely that they're a lot more twisted and obsessed. It's not necessarily just in a school setting either, a lot of yanderes are depicted as kind and perfect people when in reality they are a lot more dangerous than they might appear. With this thought, this perfection is shattered when they fall in love, becoming attached and obsessed with their lover, to the point of them being unstable and unable to live without them. If something goes wrong with them and the s/o, for instance, the s/o cheats on them, then they snap, often causing the death of the s/o in the process. This part is where we see the Yamato Nadeshiko snaps from the pressure, and in this case, the yandere snaps causing the death of the s/o.

So why do many people find that a yandere killing their s/o unacceptable or uninteresting? The idea of a yandere killing their s/o is nothing new. In fact, it often makes a lot of sense that a yandere might kill their s/o, especially if the s/o has done something wrong, and the yandere themselves are not stable. Well, there are a couple of reasons why this trope is unacceptable or uninteresting to a lot of people.

For one, this trope of a yandere killing their s/o is expected and often becomes cliche. Yanderes killing their s/o has been pretty synonymous with the archetype itself, next to knives and the yandere face. If the s/o cheats on the yandere, of course, the yandere is going to get mad and kill the s/o. If the yandere misunderstands what the s/o is doing, of course, they might feel that death is the only option for them. Just looking at most yanderes, we often expect them to kill their loved one, but the idea is just very cliche. Now, mind you, there's nothing wrong with writing a yandere that kills their s/o, it's how you execute it. Often a lot of people write the yandere killing their s/o in the same way- the yandere misinterprets/interprets the s/o doing something that jeopardizes their relationship or they find that something is trying to stop their relationship and become a killer to stop it. Cheating is pretty common and so is talking to competition, with the yandere misinterpreting the action. The problem with this is that it's often written in a way that just makes it seem like the yandere is being paranoid without really anything to back it up. We expect that this action will cause conflict with the s/o and a lot of times we expect what they saw to be a misunderstanding or something that's not worth killing over. This itself has been done over and over again, so much so that again, many people expect it.

The second reason is that often, the yandere is not written well, and therefore the death of the s/o is more for shock factor if anything. When the yandere kills their s/o, yes, we might understand why he does it in terms of reason, but we don't really sympathize or care about it because we don't actually know why the yandere thinks that way. This may have worked when the concept of a yandere was still being formed, but nowadays, it's important that your characters have some sort of depth to them. This isn't just the case with specifically yanderes either, many things that used to be simple concepts (anime, cartoons, comics, even films) often now have more characterization of characters in terms of things like backstories, personalities, and actions outside of their stories. I really do like this trend and it makes me happy that people are putting more depth into what each character is like and why they are like that. But a lot of the time, especially for smaller one-shots, we don't really see much of why a yandere might decide to kill their s/o. We might be able to infer or take a guess, but it doesn't seem like it would really give enough information or even enough emotion to empathize. I'm not saying that it's impossible to write a developed character in a one-shot, it's just there is less space to do so. In one-shots, its also very easy to simply kill the s/o at the end because the story won't continue on from there.

Finally, the last reason is that when the yandere does kill the s/o, we often don't really feel for the s/o's death because the s/o isn't really established as a character. This is also something that can happen with yanderes as well since the yanderes often don't have much characterization, but I feel like this is especially true for the s/o. A lot of times, the s/o has such basic characterization that there's really nothing to describe them other than being "nice" or "kind". this is especially true in otome games where the MC is suppose to be the stand in for the character, but actually acts rather irrationally or in a stupid way to get specific character endings or bad endings. Even in stories, I often find the yandere far more interesting then their love interest, mostly because the love interest doesn't have any interesting or insightful qualities or flaws. In fact, it almost seems as if the s/o is meant to be killed because of how uninteresting they are, which is unfortunate as it means that they weren't very well written. We can also see this in terms of the yandere itself as often we don't even get to see what their reaction is to murdering their s/o and what effect they may have on them emotionally or physically in the long run. Do they mourn for the loss of the s/o? Do people find out about who killed the s/o? Does the yandere even realize they've killed the s/o? There's a lot of different questions that often aren't explored when it comes to what happens.

There are probably a lot of reasons why people don't like the yandere troupe of killing their s/o and there's good reason to be. But that doesn't mean that you can't write a yandere that kills their s/o in a story. But you should consider a few things while thinking about writing it, to better write a good character.

First of all, consider how the yandere leads up to killing the s/o as well as the reason for killing the s/o. In a lot of cases, it's because of jealousy that is often mistaken (they think the s/o is cheating on them when in reality they're just asking about something else. This kind of miscommunication is common and honestly really annoying in all aspects, since it could be easily solved through. There are a lot of reasons to why the yandere may kill the s/o, and what might lead up to it. It might be a unfortunate consequence to a flaw that they might have, for instance if a yandere was very brash and violent they might end up accidentally killing the s/o who was protecting someone. Or it might be something that is more built up, like a problem with insecurity that ends up with the death of the s/o, because they feel like they just aren't good enough for them. It could also be something that is done on purpose, like the s/o's existence means the end of the world and they force the yandere to kill them. Or it could be in a more antagonistic way, like the yandere killing the s/o to force them into hell with them. Having these characterization makes the yandere feel more interesting or at least gives reason to the way that they are.

Second, consider the feelings the yandere has after killing the s/o. Most of the time, the yandere kills the s/o and the story ends, either because its the end of a long story or because the story itself is a one-shot. Unfortunately this means that we don't actually see what the effects of the death will cause the yandere. Assuming that the story doesn't end with just the yandere killing the s/o, we can delve deeper into what kind of feelings the yandere may feel. If the death was an accident, for instance, the yandere may feel despair over their death and blame it on themselves. They may take their own life or try to find a way to revive their loved ones. They may feel accomplishment if they were a reluctant yandere, where they won't feel shackled to having the obsessive feelings anymore. It's likely that they will mourn over their s/o, and if they are an enlightened yandere, they may be able to move on, but if they are more delusional, they may believe that the s/o is still alive and treat their bodies as such. There's a lot of reactions to death, both good and bad, so it might be interesting to see how a yandere would react to something as drastic as their s/o's death.

Third, consider the s/o themselves and how their death may affect other people besides the yandere. Even if the s/o is extremely bland with little character, it's hard to believe that nobody would care about their death. The s/o should have some semblance of character, even if it is a bit of a cliche, such as being very rash, being responsible, being cold, really anything that can distinguish them from just a plain MC. If you consider the death of the s/o, we might also see how others around them felt, whether they cared for the s/o or if they absolutely hated them can help give the s/o more character even after death. For instance, if everyone absolutely hated the s/o, they might feel that the only way to escape being isolated is death, which is what they enlist the yandere to do. Or perhaps they feel that death is the only way to achieve enlightenment and tries to manipulate the yandere into killing them. Perhaps the s/o really hates the yandere, so as revenge, they somehow get the yandere to kill them to scar them forever. Maybe, the s/o is a very clumsy person, and despite being warned again and again by the yandere to be careful, they end up being in the yandere's path and end up being killed because of their carelessness. This all gives development of the yandere and the s/o's relationship together, which could help in why the yandere acts the way that they do, and the cause of the s/o's death.

All in all, the death of an s/o by the hands of the yandere can prove to be an interesting trope if written correctly. Just like any cliche can be made interesting again with a bit of tweaking, so writing the death of an s/o through the yandere can be as well. There's no right or wrong way to write it, just try to make the story and interesting and fulfilling one to experience.

#male yandere #yandere boy #yandere #analysis

[divergentsineadcsmeron]

https://medium.com/swlh/why-our-relationships-have-tension-bfe8f3bdf431

“Trouble is part of your life, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person                        who loves you enough chance to love you enough.” 

                                                     Dinah Shore

Experiencing tension in our relationship can become really uncomfortable for any of us to deal with. It can make it very difficult for us to enjoy the bonds we create in those relationship. However, many relationships can shift between harmony and tensions, these constant swings of emotions can result in a variety of emotions for both parties. 

Sorting these issues can be very uncomfortable and can be very difficult to come to terms with it. This can then result in consequences when we avoid our actions. Facing those problems can be hard for many people and sometimes it can come to being too stubborn, which in turn can make your tension worse.  

I have taken some of the key factors that can result in tension being in a relationship. This help to know what the contributing factors can be. Giving more of an insight. 

                        “Insecurity and a lack of self-esteem.”

These issues can manifest as inadequacy and a belief that we are undeserving of the person we are with. Or simply put “I am not good enough for this person”. This causes one to be paranoid and full of doubt, ultimately eating the relationship alive from the inside out. These feelings can lead to jealousy even without merit and sabotage the viability of the relationship.

“Most bad behaviour comes from insecurity.” Debra Winger

The belief or assumption that one’s occupation should take precedence over everything and somehow our significant other is in our way.

This is the belief that one’s career is paramount. It’s our domain and nobody should trespass upon it. One partner is oblivious to their home obligations while the other is harboring resentment that progressively festers and becomes a formidable relationship breaker. This dichotomy becomes cancerous and is defined by a sense of neglect and arrogance.

You do everything so you live, and not so you live to work and work meaninglessly. And to live you don’t need to do much; too much doing has no meaning.” Osho

“Holding grudges and punishing our partner for extended          periods of time for a something deemed as wrong,                                           betrayal or something similar.”

Once something has happened that creates a significant issue, it needs to be dealt with. If you’re going to work through it and keep going, you have to forgive and own the fact you’re continuing forward. If you made a declaration and a commitment to stay the course, don’t go back and continually punish your partner. It isn’t fair to either of you if you cannot reconcile the issue at hand.

“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.” Confucious

“Wanting what you don’t have or taking a big slice of cake                                                   and eating it too.”

“The grass is greener on the other side” dilemma. This is the constant feeling that you’re missing out on something better. This one is self-explanatory. If you feel this way all the time, you’re in the wrong relationship. Get out and have respect for both parties. Don’t do it cowardly. If that’s how you feel, stand up and say it. You owe your partner the truth.

“Paroxysms of pain and twinges of desire leach from universal sources. All human suffering buttons itself to the pang of wanting.” Kilroy J. Oldster

                                            “Destroying trust.”

This one is hard to come back from. The sting of betrayal hurts. You both must make a decision to work through it or move on. You can’t reside on the fence. It isn’t a place you can stay in.

“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.” Santosh Kalwar

Hypocrisy will get you nowhere. Provide what you demand. Relationships are a two-way street.

“The only vice that cannot be forgiven is hypocrisy. The repentance of a hypocrite is itself hypocrisy.” William Hazlitt

     “The suppression or hiding of important things.”

The fabled cover-up. Lies become difficult to juggle and maintain. Often one begins to lie about their lies and they become too hard to keep track of. Whatever it is, just declare and confess it. If your love is real, it should endure. By being courageous enough to own your faults, you show your partner what they mean to you.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” ― Mark Twain

“Relationships consist of two people and should be a team                                                             effort.”

Possessing an overly competitive edge is crucial for succeeding in this big bad world but it isn’t a definitive asset within the confines of our home that we share with our loved ones. Having to defeat them at all costs in all areas is annoying, childish and a turn-off. Don’t look to defeat their every move. Support, encourage and uplift one another. A team will always be stronger than any individual player.

“I invite everyone to chose forgiveness rather than division, teamwork over personal ambition.” Jean-Francois Cope

                                            “Deviant behavior.”

Falling victim to temptation and entering the dark side is a dangerous path to take. People think they can grab a quick taste and then jump back to the safety and comfort of their home and family. The Garden of Eden doesn’t provide rentals. You need to understand where you’re headed once you step in that direction. Most often, you won’t be coming back and when you do, those demons come with you. It is never worth the price of admission. Value what you have.

“Stars, hide your fires; Let not light see my black and deep desires.” William Shakespeare

Nobody wants to perpetuate a tension-filled atmosphere, especially with the people we care for the most. It’s unhealthy and suffocating.

Being honest and open with one another will help you both discover the right path back to harmony and meaning. Find the strength, compassion, and courage to rediscover the reasons you came together in the first place.

[premixedinkk-blog]

Notes on Recording of Lecture 09/11/2019

David Hume is the most important philosopher ever to write in English.

English is not the language that a lot of philosophy is written in, it’s mostly written in Greek, Latin, and German.

He never received a college degree, he dropped at age 15 but later wrote many major works including the 6 volume history of England.

Logic and Reason aren’t the roots of Ethics is the conclusion that Hume reached.

He said passions meaning emotion and feeling are the key to understanding and clearly thinking things through. 

I think what Hume was trying to say is that we have to use our internal values which build our intuition so judge whether something is ethical or not and then use that as our standard for understanding if something is ethical or not. Ethics can usually be universal except when were talking about the cases on the edge.

Ethics doesn’t spring from pure reason because if it was based on pure reason then the judgment of something being ethical would be universal which isn’t true. Ethics springs from sentiment, which explains the inconsistent characteristics of ethics because ethics stems from human feelings, intuitions, and beliefs that everyone holds based on the different experiences and backgrounds they come from.  

I don’t think ethics should ever be the same for humans, robots, and Martians because humans live with different experiences, backgrounds, and situations than them which means that ethics is a subjective thing which changes based on the role, functions, abilities, and societal structure that they live in. They all exist in different social spectrums which means they can’t have one universal ethical code.  

The case with chimpanzees is an excellent example of universal ethical sentiment where we see the reciprocity norm play out. We see how the chimpanzee was upset when it wasn’t provided with the same level of courtesy and citizenship that it provided when someone else was in danger. 

The problem with basing ethics on sentiment is that sentiment is subjective and it changes based on your experiences, background, and perspective in any given situation. This creates an issue because in certain ethical situations we have universal ideas which help us understand them but in certain cases, the ethical ideas are much more subjective where everyone will disagree with everyone else and there will be no universal solution to it.   

But we can also base ethics on the idea of pure reason because it’s really difficult to understand which means people won’t understand and so won’t care a lot. 

Body of Law doesn’t work as an ethical code because there are certain laws that might be unethical based on perspective and particular situation that a person is in. So, logic fails to provide ethical standards too.

There is no universal code of ethics that can set universal ethical standards for everything and everyone but there are certain ideas that are universally believed to be ethical such as do no harms to others, or be nice to others or treat others the way you want to be treated. 

Hume says that if someone is benevolent then they are ethical. Some people envy. Benevolence is universally liked and no one envies benevolence. 

Hume’s main way to understand ethics was to see things through the lens of utilitarianism where people’s acts and behaviors are judged based on how much good they provide to society. 

There was a person named Mencius who was before Hume and had similar ideas and thought process as Hume. He came shortly after Confucious. 

According to Mencius, humans have 4 sprouts: Compassion, Rightness, Desire to follow a ritual, and Wisdom. People need a nurturing and supportive environment for these sprouts to grow and help them become a better person.