#comic loki is an entirely different story that I could not speak nearly as well on

[wrenhyperfixates]

Is Loki a good person?

Hello nonny! For all intents and purposes, I would say, yes, Loki is a good person. As you can read in this post by @lokistan, Loki has done a number of selfless things. I’ve put some of my thoughts in my reblog of that post, too, if you want to check it out. 

Really, what I think it all boils down to, is Loki is a good person who has done some questionable and (depending on how you frame it) bad things. Namely, I’d say his attempted genocide of the Jötunn is arguably the worst thing he’s done. And beside the very idea of it being wrong, I would say this is the worst because it is when he had the most control of his will.

Now, notre i said the “most” control, not full. Sure, it could be seen as full, but that gets into a bit more of a gray area. What is full control of the will? I have never taken an ethics class, but we are covering morals in my theology class (the topic is called “moral theology” however, so this is largely subjective as it is based on religion. Then again, I think it could be argued all moral philosophy is somewhat subjective, but I digress). My point in bringing this up is that, according to this class, full intent of the will is affected by things like peer pressure. In other words, if you feel pressure to do something because everyone else around you is, and you want to fit in, that is not full intent of the will.

Now, let’s look at Asgard. Based on what we’ve seen, Asgard is first and foremost a warrior society. The kingdom was built on bloodshed and violence. Not to mention prejudice, especially against frost giants. From a young age, Thor was saying he wanted to destroy all Jötunns. Heck, when he goes to Jötunheim, Thor invites his father to help him finish off the frost giants. Odin declines and they go back to Asgard where he promptly gives his son a scolding, banishing Thor to Midgard. It’s only on Midgard, after being given a whole movie, that Thor changes his tune.

So what about Loki?

What I personally have pinpointed as his worst action happened in the first movie he appeared in, one of the ones where he was admittedly acting as a villain or an antagonist. (Again, I say “acting as” because a character opposing a hero or protagonist doesn’t immediately make everything black and white to be able to go “oh, then they’re a bad person.”) This action, the attempted genocide of the frost giants—which he actually is, by the way, but that’s opening a whole other can of worms—can be seen as a decision prompted by outside influences, such as culture and family. Before this, he’s never done anything undoubtedly evil. Perhaps one or two things that are questionable, but upon closer inspection, I would say not bad/his fault. And after? His will and mind are not his own in Avengers 1, and how can you (fully) fault someone for doing something they didn’t have control over? Then from TDW through IW he doesn’t doing anything bad. Maybe it’s a little frustrating he took the Tesseract, prompting the battle with Thanos (again, a whole other can of worms. Besides, Thanos probably would have attacked them anyway if he came across the ship). In Endgame, he only appears as 2012 Loki, the one from Avengers. He’s free of the mind control at this point, but is escaping imprisonment from something he didn’t have control over really a bad or evil thing? Again, I’d say no. 

So, to conclude, Loki has done at least a few morally questionable things in his life, just like anyone would. The attempted genocide of the frost giants, which is what I consider the worst things he’s done, was heavily influenced by the environment he was raised in and prejudice he was exposed to. Thor threatened the same thing, but we cannot have a double standard just because he did not get as close to the actual action. Thor was given the chance to redeem himself, and is now viewed as a good guy. Loki, just like his brother, showed that he was better than that one action, and for the sake of the argument and lack of better words, redeemed himself. It only stands to reason that he is a good guy too.

#so this heavily focuses on just the one action #and if anyone wants to ask about other specific actions please feel free #but yea he’s a good person #if anyone has any relevant screencaps of the things i've mentioned #please send them my way #i am very bad at finding them #thanks for the ask! #anon ask #anon #ask #loki analysis #mcu loki #marvel loki #and ok yea this is only about mcu loki #comic loki is an entirely different story that I could not speak nearly as well on

[shlabam]

TOP TEN COMICS BOOK VILLAINS WE PROBABLY WON’T SEE IN THE MOVIES

Superhero media is the hottest thing going right now. It was true ten years ago when the MCU was in its adolescence, and it’s even truer now. Even with film production on lockdown, Marvel and DC are still planning on literally dozens of their characters entering their respective cinematic universes. However, for the fans of the source material, things can be contentious. For every memorable Tony Stark quip, there’s Superman destroying an entire city because he’s, frankly, kind of dumb now. A major point of contention is how the various popular villains are utilized. Making an intimidating and potent villain in a comic book is very different than in a film. In comics, you have months to establish motive, powers, and backstory before the villain even makes their first move. In films, that all has to be compressed and spilled out in the scarce few minutes when Captain America and Bucky aren’t making bambi eyes at each other. To be concise, some villains adapt perfectly, and some, no matter how good they are in the comics, just don’t. And to be clear, this list is of popular villains who have the possibility of appearing in a big-budget film, so no, you won’t be seeing Ten Eyed Man or Big Wheel in there. Their powers are, respectively, having ten eyes, and being very good in business. (That’s a lie, he’s just a huge wheel who chases Spider-Man.)

10: Mr. Mxyzptlk:

Cool, let’s get this one out of the way. Despite being one of Superman’s oldest, longest-lasting, and most popular enemies from all the way back in the Golden Age, there’s no way in hell he will be in a movie. For the uninformed. Mr. Mxyzptlk is a 5th dimensional wizard-genie who appears every ninety days to torment Superman with his reality-altering antics, and can only be sent back to his home dimension if Superman tricks him into saying his own name backwards. Yes, it would be very dazzling, as Mr. Mxyzptlk’s powers in a movie would basically look like if Christopher Nolan directed Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but he’s a little too silly to fit in with the current “everything is gloomy and also a bummer” tone of the Superman films. This silly tone has lent itself perfectly to the Supergirl series, where he’s made a handful of appearances. Besides, if we get Mxyzptlk in a Superman movie before Brainiac, I’ll lose my entire freaking mind.

9: Hobgoblin:

There have been eight Spider-Man movies so far, and of those eight, four of them have, in some capacity, featured the Green Goblin. And that makes sense, right? The Green Goblin is easily Spider-Man’s most memorable and reoccurring nemesis, with Doctor Octopus and Venom close behind, and Peter Parker’s link with Norman and Harry Osbourn makes their tragic story perfect for film adaptation. On the other hand, we have the Hobgoblin, who is essentially Green Goblin with all the gimmicks, none of the Parker-adjacent backstory, and an orange and blue color scheme, likely tying him to the Denver Broncos [citation needed]. Still, in those four cinematic attempts at tackling the Goblin, none of them have quite gotten him right, and I can’t imagine this character, who is, even in canon, an intentional Green Goblin rip-off, would fare any better.

8: Starro:

Brave and the Bold #28 from 1960 featured the first story with the Justice League, and this story put them up against a very unique new villain: Starro the Conqueror, a giant telepathic starfish who can release tiny versions of himself. If these tiny starfish latch onto your head, you’re under his control and obey his commands. The Justice League have battled him fairly regularly over the last fifty years, and he’s a distinct and powerful enemy that the fans generally appreciate, leading to him being referenced occasionally in Smallville, Arrow, and Flash. Why won’t he ever be in a movie? Because if you’re a Hollywood producer, you stopped paying attention at “giant telepathic starfish”. Sorry. Maybe Shuma-Gorath will pop up in the next Doctor Strange movie, and he’ll set off a Twilight-esque wave of starfish monster movies! Then again, almost absolutely not.

7: Puppet Master:

Speaking of mind control, what’s scarier than that? For my money, nothing. Having your body and will taken away from you by an unseen force is a terror greater than death. How could you possibly make a villain based around such a chilling concept and have him not be scary? Well, maybe if it’s an old bald man in an apron playing with dolls. The Puppet Master is an ongoing threat for the Fantastic Four who is just that: he makes models of his foes out of radioactive clay, and makes them punch themselves and dance around and kiss each other, because he’s, y’know, a weird old man. Why is he such a consistent threat who hasn’t fallen into obscurity like other dumb gimmick-based villains? His stepdaughter, Alicia Masters, is the Thing’s longtime girlfriend. As long as she keeps appearing in movies (including being played by… Kerry Washington? That can’t be right), there’s always a chance he’ll pop up, but I don’t think any movie studio is that stupid, despite the quality of every Fantastic Four movie blatantly defying that prediction.

6: Bizarro:

Superman has always suffered in the villains department. When you’re essentially a god, what can they throw at you? As it turns out, Lex Luthor, almost always. But why not another Superman? Bizarro is essentially that, an imperfect clone of Superman who speaks in opposite speak - “Bizarro am good! Me not punch you until you live!” - and features the same abilities as the Man of Steel. Sounds great, right? Putting a hero against a villain with their same powers has worked for nearly every Marvel movie (shots fired). So why won’t we see him grace our silver screens any time soon? Because they’ve never really figured him out. Is he funny? Is he lethal? Does Kryptonite work on him? If he does everything the opposite of Superman, why does he wear clothes? Isn’t being naked the opposite of being clothed? Bizarro is a major Superman side-character and has made appearances in Smallville and Supergirl, but the idea of him being the Big Bad going toe-to-toe with Henry Cavill doesn’t sound like it would generate a lot of views.

5: Impossible Man:

You remember what I said about Mr. Mxyzptlk? Remember? So take that bit, but everywhere I say Superman, have it say Fantastic Four instead… yeah, that should do it.

4: The Wrecking Crew:

Thor has a unique quirk of having a very cinematic rogues gallery. Sure, most of the movies have pitted him against Loki, but if they were to run him up against the Enchantress, or the Absorbing Man, or Ulik the Troll, or Kurse, or even the Stone Men from Saturn, that’s not a bad movie! However, in one of the attempts to give Thor more of a mortal nemesis, they put him up against the Wrecker, who has an… enchanted… indestructible… crowbar. Yeah. Incredibly, the Wrecker and his Wrecking Crew have become very present characters throughout the Marvel Universe, essentially serving as “jobbers”, being rolled out to get beaten up by the new top hero or villain, but that may not work in a movie, where villains have to be seen as having some level of potency before being struck down. That means we’d need at least a short scene where it seems like Thor might lose to a guy whose power is “crowbar”, and that’s about as likely as an Edward Norton cameo in the next Avengers. Ho boy, they did NOT part on good terms!

3: Clayface:

When the movie-going public goes to see a Batman movie, they generally want something a bit more grounded than your typical superhero fare. After all, Batman has no powers, and therefore the most supernatural thing that should happen in these movies is a gas that makes you smile, or a different gas that makes you think your dead parents are back and disappointed in you. Might wanna put a mouth covering on that mask, Bruce! The one and only they’ve made a movie where Batman fights people with real, off-the-wall super powers (Batman and Robin), it did not go great. And those guys pale in comparison to Clayface, who is, yes, made of clay. In the comics and cartoons, Clayface looks awesome, turning his limbs into weapons and being very challenging to incapacitate, but in a live-action, realistic Batman adventure, we wouldn’t want to see the Dark Knight fight a poop-colored version of the T-1000, especially if it’s got the same chemical composition of a little dreidel that I made.

2: Red Hood:

A relative newcomer to the Batman universe, Red Hood is the revived body of Jason Todd, the second Robin, who was brutally killed by the Joker in one of the most controversial storylines DC Comics ever produced. Literally, fans called a 900 number to tell the writers to kill him off. A 900 number. That’s how much they hated the little turd. Anyway, Jason Todd, whom Batman and the rest of the world believed was dead, was revived by Ra’s al Ghul and became a ruthless villain. Since then, he’s gravitated more to the side of the hero, though one a bit more willing to spill blood than his mentors. Why won’t we see him in the darker, edgier Batman films? Because… that’s Bucky. It’s the same thing that happened in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. Teen sidekick killed in controversial manner, revived by super villain to be a thorn in said hero’s side, later changes his mind and becomes a good guy again, though with enough PTSD to fill a PTSD super store. The two storylines even occurred in the comics in the same year, 2005, to much fanfare and across-the-board declarations of one company ripping off the other, reminding the world of the great Aquaman-Namor debates of the 1940s. Considering that DC’s films have criminally underperformed compared to Marvel’s, the last thing they want to do is be accused of lazy plagiarism, so Jason Todd will likely remain a permanent fixture in the afterlife, hanging out with Batman’s parents and, at the rate that people are coming back from the dead, literally no one else. (Plus, if they can’t even get Robin right, how are they gonna do this?)

1: Mister Sinister:

Yes, he was teased at the end of X-Men Apocalypse, but ignoring that the film underperformed both critically and commercially, Mister Sinister is never going to be in a movie. It would make sense for him to appear, though, right? He’s one of the most present and potent X-Men villains, he’s played crucial roles in many memorable storylines, he’s got a sick cape, but… something a lot of comic book fans tend to overlook is his murky backstory, powers, and motivations. He was a biologist in Victorian London who did genetic experiments on homeless people in the hopes of finding clues about the oncoming threat of mutants. In this time, he unearthed the long-dormant En Sabah Nur, whom you plebeians may know as Apocalypse, and Apocalypse gifted him with great abilities. What abilities you ask? HA HA, good question! At various times, Sinister has displayed: telepathy, telekinesis, energy projection, shape-shifting, regeneration, and teleportation, but these powers will mysteriously disappear whenever they want him to get sliced up real good by Wolverine. Additionally, it has never been made very clear what Sinister wants. Does he seek perfect mastery of the human genome? Does he live to torment Cyclops? Is he a blind follower of Apocalypse? Is he just running through all the different kinds of goatee? Of course, in adaptation, the writers would pick and choose the aspects they’d want to use, but I doubt they’d want to untangle the Christmas lights mess that is Mister Sinister, especially when they’ve got a perfectly good villain whose power is just “magnets”.

[fly-flower-fanfics]

Crafts and Kisses

Alpha Loki x Omega Male Reader

Warnings: None, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~

Things were different ever since I moved in with everyone into Tony's tower. I got to see my friends more often, and I wasn't as lonely anymore. My depression — although still bad — had decreased significantly. Life seemed to be all around better than ever before.

Bruce was my best friend. He was the one I went to constantly and for everything. He was always reminding me to take my antidepressants and heat suppressants, telling me that it was time for meals, and where I'd last left certain items.

If my head wasn't attached, I'd probably need Bruce to find that, too.

Natasha and Clint were betas, and I found it a bit comical that the only two betas in the building were together. Usually Bruce, the two of them, and I would be at home, cuddled up on the couch watching movies like best friends and couple do.

Lastly, you had Tony, Thor, Steve, and Loki that were the alphas. Tony and Steve butt heads sometimes, but Natasha was able to shut the two of them up almost instantly. Thor was the softest alpha around, literally acting like everyone was apart of his pack. Not going to lie, Thor was the best cuddle buddy when Bruce was shut up in the lab.

Loki, on the other hand, was an alpha that I didn't quite understand. It wasn't because he was an alpha; I wouldn't understand him if he was a beta or omega, either. He was just...odd. I never really interacted with him because he was always sneaking around. He'd stopped being a villain — as much as he could — so he wasn't doing anything wrong. Something was just different about him.

I didn't really think he would like me.

My powers were rather insignificant to everyone else's. All I could do was control electricity: turning on and off lights, appliances, etc. It was, however, good for playing pranks and charging my phone when I forgot to.

Because I was the newest addition to the Stark-Avengers Tower, I wasn't as open with everyone. Bruce knew I was an omega because omegas knew other omegas instantly. The others didn't ask because status was a bit of a sensitive thing. I just knew what everyone else the Tower was because they were so open with one another.

I'd only reached that point with Bruce, and everyone seemed okay with that.

Currently, I was in my room, laying on my bed and listening to my music blare through my headphones. My fingers were dancing to the tune above me, painting a picture with the air around me. I knew I looked silly, but I didn't particularly care at that moment. I was trying to picture what a painting would look like based on this song. And, not to toot my own horn, I was doing a damn fine job at imagining it.

Painting it? Now that was another story.

I was an artist, yes, but I was more into creating things and working with things like papier-mâché and clay. Painting wasn't my strong subject, but I wasn't terrible at it. It was just my ideas seemed to always be a bit too far out of my skill set, and I'd end up with a knock-off version of my idea.

I sat up in bed with the idea perfected in my head. I shoved my phone into the waistband of my boxers and rushed out my room towards the empty room Tony let me claim as an art studio.

On the way, I nearly crashed into both Clint and Thor. The two of them just laughed me off as I shouted an apology, spinning on my heel and waving at them. Whenever I had an idea, I always ran around to try and do it, and everyone knew it. Unfortunately for me, there was one other person I nearly rammed into: Loki.

I quickly apologized, but instead on continuing to run like I had with the others, I was frozen in place.

Why? It's not like I was scared of him or anything. He intently stared down at me; his green eyes felt like the burned straight to my soul. I didn't move, unsure of what the god would do or say. I never really got time to spend with him, and I didn't want to waste it, even if I had an idea.

The one corner of his mouth quirked up in the smallest movement that I had ever seen — barely seen — and he stepped to the side with a small nod of the head. Immediately, I smiled at him, brushed his cheek with my fingers, and went off running down the hall once more.

I never saw Loki as a threat to me, nor did I want to treat him any different than I did anyone else. I knew Tony and Steve treated him like an outsider, and Bruce and Clint were rather wary of him, too, and normally kept their distance. I was touch-feely with everyone, and Loki wasn't going to be spared of it either. At least, he hasn't told me he didn't like it with from our few interactions.

In fact, I don't think I've ever heard him talk at all.

Any thought of Loki and the others left my mind as soon as I reached the door of my makeshift art room. Opening it, I stepped inside and let the door close behind me. My paints were all set up in a corner already along with a clean canvas; I always made sure to do that when I left the room so I didn't need to prep when I had a brand-new idea.

I walked over and sat down by the table, pulling out a bunch of bright colors. After an hour, all I had was a rather beautiful mix of colors that looked like a splatter paint gone wrong. Even though I was disappointed that it was another idea that received a knock-off version, I didn't let it drag me down entirely.

I decided to go move to another kind of project: papier-mâché a mask.

With no set plan in mind, I plopped myself in front of the new table. It only took a few moments to get everything altogether, suit up into an apron, and get to work. I always stained the glue-water mix with a colored stiffener that would make it firmer when it dries. I'd always use clear glue because the white glue looked too much like something else. I made the mistake of using it once, and Tony made sure I never forget it. Clear glue looks like mucus, though, and that's disgusting, too.

I stained it purple today. Not that it mattered, but I liked the soft lilac color. I began placing the strips of newspaper onto a mask mold. It was peaceful enough until I realized one thing missing: my music. Whining, I got up and drug myself to the sink to wash my hands. I stuck my headphones in while I returned to my seat and pressed play.

New songs flooded my ears and motivated me to work. By the time I'd gotten the basic mold down to where I wanted it, I still didn't know what I wanted to make out of it. Then a song popped up that decided it for me: Miss Mysterious by Set It Off.

I knew I'd have to let the mask dry a bit before I'd start cutting into it, but I knew exactly how I wanted it to look. Half a mask, a bit like the Phantom of the Opera's, with a curled horn off to the side. It didn't sound as cool explaining it, but it was beautiful inside my head.

My fingers worked with the slimy mixture and the newspaper to create a thin, curled horn. I'd paint it a dark green, maybe add gold highlights to it or bells. Something like that. Something that would show how beautiful it was, how elegant it would be.

I sang along with the song. I could reach the high notes, and I wasn't the best at singing, but I was good enough that no one complained about my voice. Or at least they never complained to my face. Either way, I sang the song like no one else was in the room simply because there wasn't.

My hands glided over the mask, adding new pieces, creating the horn, and calling myself names when I'd accidentally drip the stuff on the table. I'd always then try and scoop it up in my hand but end up making it worse since my hands were covered in the gluey goop.

I'm sure if someone was outside looking in, I definitely was a sight to see. And I didn't care.

Once my mask was to the point that there was nothing left to do but let it dry, I stood up to go wash my hands. As soon as I turned around, I let out a scream.

"Loki?!"

His eyes lit up, just a bit more than usual, and I could tell he was laughing at me. Then, his lips began to move, but all I could hear was Who Is It by Michael Jackson blaring in my ears. I held up my hands to show him the goop they were currently covered in.

"Lemme wash my hands, and don't you dare leave, or I'll dip my hands back in it, find you, and touch you." I was sure I was speaking rather loudly because I could hear myself over my music.

I barely caught Loki's glare, and I smirked to myself. There was a fifty-fifty chance he'd actually leave, which meant there was a fifty-fifty chance I'd get to chase him with goopy hands. I washed my hands in the sink, making sure I got rid of all of it because it did stay a bit sticky when it remained on my hands.

I was equally surprised and disappointed to see Loki still standing there once I turned around. I removed my headphones from my ears, draped them around my neck, and gave Loki a slight bow while twirling my hand.

"You may speak now, my lord."

I heard the god snort. It was very soft, almost like a sharp inhale when one would be sick. His lips twitched slightly as I straightened up, but other than that, his face remained stoic. I knew that I was able to pull emotion from him, but I didn't understand why he tried to hide it.

Was it something I did? Something I said? Maybe it's just the way I am. Had I offended him in some way without realizing it?

His chuckle broke my train of thought. I blinked and saw the small smile on his face.  I don't think I've ever seen him smile before. Even though it was hardly a smile, it caused me to smile.

"Are you always this energized, Y/N?"

His voice made me freeze. He knew my name. Well, duh. Of course he knew my name. I did live in the same building with the man. Oh god, I'm being stupid. What the hell? This isn't that big of a deal.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah. It runs in my genes, I guess," I answered, wanting to slap myself. I couldn't have replied in a more dumbass way. Conversation was never my strong point.

Another smile tugged the edge of his lips. "Of course."

"Can-can I help you with anything?" I asked, scratching the back of my neck nervously before turning on my heel to replace the paints and canvas. "Not that I don't enjoy your company, it's just strange that you're here in my studio. Especially since we haven't really talked the much."

How long had he been there? The thought hit my like a punch in the stomach and made me hesitate for a moment. I'd finished my mask and turned to see him. He couldn't have been there that long, right? Art is boring to watch to most, and I'd assume that watching me papier-mâché was not on his list of 'fascinating things to do today.'

"Just stopping by."

God, I hated his answers. I mimicked him in my facial expressions while my back was turned to him. Couldn't he give me more solid answers? I cleaned out my brushes in the sink and glanced towards him.

"Why?"

He seemed caught off guard by my question, but it was perfectly reasonable considering our past — or lack there of. Instead of an answer, when Loki regained his composure, all I received was a shrug.

"Did you want something?" I asked, trying to hide my nervousness now. I went to the closet to grab a new canvas, tucking my lip between my teeth. There was a chair within reach of my foot, so I pulled it closer to me with the top of my toes and stood on it to grab a new canvas.

Did he want something? Did I accidentally take something of his? It happened sometimes since I was usually so scatterbrained. I tried to scan my brain of the items I'd last had in my possession, but all that I could think of was my paints and some newspaper.

"Oh, my dear omega."

I nearly slipped off the chair when the words left Loki's lips. The canvas did fall from my hands and clatter to the floor, and I dove after it, picking it up. How did he know that? Bruce wouldn't snitch on me, I knew that.

"You reek of anxiety," the god continued. "You seem to forget that my senses are heightened over your Midgardian senses. No matter what you use to mask your natural scent, I can see right through it."

I walked my now slightly dusty canvas over to the table and laid it down. Did that mean Thor knew, too? If Loki did, then Thor had to. Bless them both for not saying anything. I proceeded to busy myself by making sure every little dust particle was off of the canvas. The lights dimmed slightly for a moment as my anxiety increased.

He's here to make fun of me.

Loki never thought highly of omegas or betas, for the matter. That was clear to me. Loki only ever seemed to respect other alphas that were able to take him size him up for a good fight for dominance. I always assumed that he and Tony would eventually get together, no matter how much the two currently avoided one another.

Clearing my throat, I straighten up and hung up the apron I had been wearing. Finally, after what simultaneously felt like centuries and mere seconds, I turned to face the prankster once again. My fingers were tingling, and I knew that just once more word might cause me to blow all the bulbs in my studio.

Tony never got mad at me for it because really, what was a few light bulbs to a millionaire? But I've been trying to learn how to control my powers in moments of high and nearly uncontrollable emotions.

"You didn't answer my question," I replied, letting a smile form on my lips. It wasn't nearly as large as my normal smile, but I wanted my normal persona back.

"Bruce is sick," he replied. I knew that. Bruce had gotten ill yesterday, and I told him I'd go see him later, no matter how much he protested. "Can't seem to get it if bed right now." A look of disgust floated over the God's beautiful features. "So I brought these for you since it seems you've forgotten them."

Loki held out a small, silver package towards me, and I recognized it instantly. My heat suppressants. Now that I was thinking back again, I couldn't remember the last time I'd taken them. A dark blush heated my cheeks, but Loki didn't seem phased by it whatsoever.

"We don't want you going into an early heat." I wanted to die at the words he was saying. Did he not understand how embarrassed I already was? I noticed the lights dangerously flicking as I took the package from him. I saw Loki's eyes glance up towards them before I turned to grab a bottle of water from the small refrigerator I kept in the back.

"How do you hide your heats?"

I nearly choked on the pill and water, but managed to get it to stay down. While I was able to save that, the light bulbs weren't so lucky. They popped, drowning the room in darkness that was almost pitch black. "Oh, dear. I do seemed to have caused some discomfort."

I wanted to punch Loki in his stupid, pretty face. I was a mixture of embarrassed and angry because he had no right to do this. Who was he to come stomping up into my safe haven and talk about my heats and being an omega? Then he plays it off like a joke? The nerve of the motherfucker.

Since I knew the room like the back of my hands, I had no issues navigating to the one corner of my room. I leaned my head against the wall and breathed out a sigh. I wanted to unlive the last ten minutes of my life and leave before Loki had ever entered.

"Y/N?"

Damn his voice.

Silence was my reply.

"Y/N, don't make me ask again.

Even though he wasn't my alpha, I found myself turning toward him before cursing and facing the wall again. Calm down. Count to ten.

"Y/N, please."

"What?" I hissed out before turning to face him. I didn't want to deal with this right now, but the two of us were stuck in here until Tony would manually unlock the door since that, too, was powered by electricity. I couldn't do anything because, more likely, I blew the fuse connecting all of that.

"It's not that big of a deal."

"Says you," I growled. I didn't like people finding out things about me without my permission. It was weird, I know, but I didn't like when people knew things that I didn't tell them. "No one hates you for being an alpha."

"And no one would hate you for being an omega."

I didn't reply this time. He was pissing me off, but I tried to calm down. I guess it wasn't that big of a deal... It still really bothered me though. Taking a deep breath, I tugged my hair, and then let it out slowly.

"I'm not ready to admit it, okay?" My parents had been very disappointed in me for being an omega and a gay one at that. Their only son was into other men and the weakest on the totem pole. Whether society really frowned upon omegas or not, in my mind, they did. Everyone did, and I was scared to admit it. Bruce didn't even know why I didn't tell people that I was an omega.

"And you of all people!" I nearly spat at him as I whirled around. "You're the one that would hate me for being an omega. I know the way you talk about them. God, can't even believe you can stand to look at me." I ground my teeth together.

This was way out of my comfort zone and personality. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, causing me to curse aloud. I hated crying when I was angry.

I jumped when a hand fell on my shoulder, nearly decking Loki in the face. Was that really necessary?

Even in the darkness, I swore his green eyes were he only things that I could see perfectly clear.

"Calm down," he whispered to me softly, pulling me into a hug.

The coolness of his body helped my anxiety and the way he pet my hair caused me to let my guard down.

"Just listen to me," Loki continued. I was about to speak up, realizing what was going on, but Loki quickly shut that down. "You may not speak, do you understand?"

I closed my eyes and nodded against his chest. He's not my alpha, what the fuck am I doing?

"My omega, I kept my distance so I could keep watch on you. I kept my distance so I could se show others were interested in you. It also had come to my attention that you were into my brother." I could hear the jealousy laced in with his words.

The faint scent of possession filled my senses.

"I want you all to my own."

My knees felt weak at his words, and I found myself kneeling at his feet. As much as I had tried to push the feelings away, Loki was always the alpha I had wanted. He was off, odd, and different. Something about him always made my heart race.

I closed my eyes as I felt Loki's hand settle on my head. I rested my head against his thigh, closing my eyes. The amount of submission I felt was incredible, and I was incredibly embarrassed. Yet I didn't fight it as much as I normally would have.

"I didn't want you to hate me," I breathed out, hoping that he wouldn't hear my words.

"I would never." He backed away and knelt down to my level, sitting on the floor and pulling me between his legs. "I only ever wanted the best for my omega."

"You want me to be yours?" I asked softly.

I felt Loki's lips press against my skin at the base of my neck, near the place where he would mark me and claim me as his. "Yes."

I closed my eyes, letting myself enjoy the feeling of his cool lips against my skin. "Loki...I-I just... I don't wanna jump right in... I want you, but I want a relationship, too..."

"Then a relationship we shall form," he promised, tilting my head back to kiss my lips.

#marvel #marvel x male reader #marvel fanfiction #loki x male reader #loki fanfiction #loki #gay loki oneshot #lgbt #alpha #omega #alpha loki #alpha omega fanfiction

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine: The Funnies

 Spoilers, obv.

 I suspect this will lean a little shorter than usual, partially because it’s more an editorial, sitting back position than any other issue of WicDiv and partially as DIE is out tomorrow, and there’s a lot of plates I’m keeping spinning.

 But let’s see, eh?

 Last year, when we did the Christmas Special, doing a comedy special was the other option. We decided to keep that in the can, simply because I was trying to visualise what on earth it would be like. Would I ask people to write stuff? Would I write it all? Could I somehow get The Wicked + the Canine to fill the whole issue? We went for Jamie’s idea (which required less conceptual engineering, so was easy, despite being more actual writing work) and saved this for the end.

 Which is nice. End of school party, right?

Jamie/Matt’s Cover: Jamie and I have a piece of performance twitter, where I make puns and he pretends to hate them. Okay, that’s not true at all. He hates them, as is only right, as they are designed to be hated. When we have Skype calls, and Chrissy and I sit beside each other, when I drop a pun, Chrissy makes a face which… well, Jamie’s wants to grab it as a gif. It’s quite the thing.

 Anyway – a variety of responses to puns. The pun is, I suspect, the best one I’ve dropped on twitter. One day I’ll write an essay on What I Do With Puns. But not today. It didn’t get a ludicrous number of retweets when I dropped it (and deleted my whole stream, as I do sporadically – don’t worry, I store everything before I do). It had an afterlife though being reblogged on tumblr (I think last time it was about 130k interactions), used in big websites’ pun round-ups, put on T-shirts and straight up stolen and tweeted by other people.

 So let’s stick it on a cover, and show the variety of responses to it. Of course, Baph would like it.

 I really like what Matt did with the colours here as well.

 Margaux Saltel’s cover: Margaux is great. I got to know her distantly when C was editing superfreaks, and actually got a chance to hang properly at this year’s thought bubble. She’s got a real playfulness to her art, which this fascinating design sense. Adorable big dog staring at the reader was the first thing I thought of when planning this issue, really.

IFC

Intro page to explain what’s going on, with pop-comic design by Sergio, headlines courtesy of C. If you haven’t read it, give it a scan, because I big up all our collaborators.

How did we decide how to ask? Far too many options. Our comic friends are very funny. We tended to ask people as it occurred to us, see how many pages they wanted to do, and then work out how many pages we had left

The Wicked + the Canine

I lured Erica into this by basically promising her to draw six pages of as many dogs as she liked. Write for your artist.

The pun was basically to amuse Chrissy, and grew into a story. I thought it could be longer (and it could have) but realised it’s best to cut it short – the backbone of Ananke as trainer, and the dogs as untrainable pups, is basically the core of it. Plus the big kick in seeing everyone done in dog form.

I threw some ideas into the mix of how the dogs could be differentiated (For example, Sakhmet as a cat and Woden as clearly-not-a-puppy in a cone of shame) but really left it to Erica to draw whatever dogs she liked. I actually suggested they all be Labradors, but Erica wanted to stretch and play, and it’s all wonderful.  The worry is in terms of race-coding the dogs, which is something we avoided.

I think my favourite is Baphopup.

The white-background and “get in the sack” is a wonderful bit of cartooning. How the lack of background stresses it all.

That it was basically done to make C laugh means that it’s part of a history of my dog based comics, which also includes the Christmas issue of Journey Into Mystery, where Loki has to give away seven hell-hounds. I think Thori is the character I co-created for the Marvel Universe who has had the longest life in terms of being used by other people. Adorable sweary murderous puppies can’t go wrong.

I’m pleased that people seemed to like it. That it’s a six page story where the joke is “Evil old lady doesn’t throw trusting pups in the river” is not exactly family comedy special material. I suspect if you’ve stuck along with WicDiv this far, you know what we’re like.

This is also a story which implicitly spoils the book, in terms of Ananke being a shameless manipulator of the pups. A lot of the stories are similar, which means this is a comic designed for relief of those who came along for all the issues.

The Wicker + the Divine Lizz Lunney is one of my favourite British cartoonists, and whole fierce scowl has petrified me for the decade or so I’ve known her. Lunney hadn’t read much of WicDiv before, so we lobbed her the PDFs, and found something fun to mock in terms of how ludicrously call-back-y we are.

Go support her stuff. She’s great.

The Lost God

Chip’s just a phenomenon, and his rising career across the last decade has been basically the most delightful surprise in the period. Immediately I have to swallow the urge to do the usual “Because he’s rubbish” chip-baiting joke, which says a lot. Chip is so much fun. That he’s both one of Marvel’s biggest, most interesting writers now and half of one of the most popular and definitive indie comics of the period is something else. Like, he’d be a legend if only for his internet jokes. That’s a footnote now. Amazing.

Anyway – we meet the first Kieron and Jamie version. Chip’s one is delightful – the over-tortured pun is on the money, but the real joy is Jamie McKelvie’s Hellboy-esque hyper-developed single arm. Every time I look at that, I laugh. Plus the accent. Marvelous.

“Wossat?! Time paste this nob, innit?” is just poetry.

Gentle Annie Vs The World

Talking about poetry…

Chrissy is WicDiv’s editor and also a poet, and has done some indie comics before – as well as co-editing the anthology Over The Line, which is an introduction to Poetry Comics. This isn’t that. This is her just channelling her loathing of Gentle Annie’s obfuscatory nonsense, and I love it so.

Clayton and Dee step in on the art duties. It was Clayton’s idea to drop in the Scott Pilgrim parody Annie at the top, which is very cute, and implicitly shows the modes he can work on. The realism of each scene, and the sense of place is great. Also, the Banshees poster in the doctor’s office is hilarious.

Making A Difference

This is fun. Romesh is a proper famous comedian, and digs WicDiv, so thought it’d be fun to write for the medium. As his script was coming together, I thought of Julia Madrigal’s Giant Days issue, and realised it’d fit well. She had to do it on her trip to Japan, which involved some hilarious jetlag.

Dee’s doing some powerhouse things here with the purple-white lighting too. That’s hyper-strong.

“Fresh Prince of Baal Air” is a hell of a line, in passing, and I think this may have the prize for the darkest punchline of the whole issue.

5 Things Everyone Who’s Lived With Sakhmet Will Understand

I loved Hamish’ Pantheon, which is a playful but entirely accurate retelling of Egyptian myth. Hamish also won this year’s Russ Manning Promising Newcomer Award, so clearly should be doing something else rather than being talked into playing around with us lot. Thankfully, he didn’t.

I think my favourite moment is Persephone’s glance up as Sakhmet walks across the keyboard.

18 Go Made In Wiltshire

Kitty and Larisa have done a bunch of stuff, but I have to put a special plug for where I first met them – TAYLOR SWIFT GIRL DETECTIVE: SECRETS OF THE STARBUCK LOVERS. It’s illustrated prose, and utterly delightful, so was honoured to have them along.

This is all an accurate and extensive skewering of what we’re doing, with a not-perfect Scooby Doo mash-up. I did try to talk them out of including all the characters, as that’s so much work, but they could not be stopped. This meant that working out speaking orders was the main formal issue to worry about.

Now, there’s lots of mockery of me in this issue, but reducing Laura down to “Everyone is so hot! Let’s make out with them!” was absolutely the I Feel Called Out Right Now moment. She’s more than that, right? Right?

While the “WicDiv is a scooby do plot” complete with “Evil old man reveal” is lots of fun, the bit which makes me laugh every time I flick through is the “I would have got away with it if it wasn’t for you meddling ki—” “Oh, fuck off.” Oh, Lucifer, Never change.

Enquiring Minds Want To Know: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure Song

Cover-artist Margaux joined by the irrepressible Kate Leth. I’m really into how the two play together – Kate wanted to cut things tight, and the “Short moment” illustrated with Margaux’s warmth is fascinating. Like, have the two other Norns ever looked more delighted and engaged than they are at the end of page six?

In terms of Kieron and Jamie baiting, Grumpy Jamie in full Captain Marvel Gear and me trying to write an essay in any given space is fun and mean (which is how we like it). And I’ve just realised that writing more about this script would only be underlining Kate’s point, so I better stop.

Secret Origin

I wrote it, and offered it to Jamie. Really, the point of the specials is to create a space in the schedule so Jamie can get ahead, but he couldn’t resist this one. It’s cathartic closure, at the least.

Choosing the puns was tricky – I realised it had to be a chain, so chose this one which amused Katie West, which was tweeted when visiting them in Edinburgh. So I was in range of punching.

As always, this is Jamie expression masterclass, and a little self-mocking of my tendency to go full clockwork in my story universes is fun. I hope so anyway.

28 pages of comics, which is quite the thing. I don’t suspect we’ll be making much (if any) money from this issue after paying everyone, but that’s fine. It’s a party, innit?

Oh, it was nearly 2000 words. It’s never short, is it? It’s never short.

WicDIv 40 is out tomorrow (December 5th), which starts our final arc, “Okay.” Hope you enjoy it.

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #writer notes

[fragmentedshards]

Eira, Chapter Two

-

When Loki reached roughly the middle of the main avenue of County Keldcaster, he stopped to take a look around. It had not occurred to him when Thor suggested rehabilitation in Midgard that he would have no idea where to begin or what to do. Where would he stay? How would he provide for food? What was he going to tell anybody he happened to meet about himself? He stood in the middle of the street, slowly looking around him at the shopfronts and trying to decide what to do next. Behind him to the right he saw a small, deep purple building with windows full of books and the words Pippin & Puddleglum written across the top of the doorframe in gold lettering. Wondering how he had walked past such a vibrant structure, he retraced his steps back to it and, hesitating a moment, stepped through the door to the interior.

The bell above the door jingled lightly, and two simultaneously different and similar smells flooded Loki’s nose at the exact same moment. One was the fresh scent of brand new books, barely thumbed through by even five people; the other was the musty scent of old books, with peeling edges on their covers and scars on their spines. For an instant his mind was transported back to the grand library in Asgard, reading books on magic as a little boy with his mother, both of them basking in a soft golden light. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light within Pippin & Puddleglum, he began to see the design of the whole place. Sturdy oak shelves absolutely stuffed with books stretched all the way up to the ceiling, two stories high, and a marvelous spiral staircase with intricate carvings in the wood ran up to the second story floor from the center of the building. In the far back against the right wall was a long wooden service desk. Dotted around the first and second floors were armchairs, couches, and coffee tables; all of them looked rather worn out and none of them matched. Loki could not see what the floor of the second story looked like, but as the floor beneath his feet was covered in shabby patterned rugs of all different colors he assumed the same for the top floor. There was a good deal of people scattered throughout, and a muted hum of activity permeated the building which came from the whispers of visitors to one another.

His thought in entering Pippin & Puddlelgum was to gain his bearings and make a plan. However, before he had fully taken in the entire scene, he was approached by a pale, portly woman wearing a light blue sweater and smiling brightly at him. She stood a full head shorter than Loki himself and beamed up at him from behind soft auburn curls that brushed her wool- clad shoulders. He noticed that she had smile lines on either side of her face, but only one dimple which resided on her right cheek.

“How can I help you?” she inquired, peering curiously at him. He knew enough about Midgard to recognize her accent as American.

“I... I’m sorry, I’m trying to find a place to stay and somewhere to work,” he stammered. He had not thought ahead this far at all.

“Oh, you’re a foreigner like Lisette and myself,” she laughed. “What brings you to County Keldcaster?”

Loki struggled to answer her question. He was not used to being caught this much off guard. “My family... they thought living here for a while would do me some good.”

“I see,” she nodded. “What did you say your name was?”

“L-Laurence,” he thought as quickly as he could as he spoke. “Laurence Royal.”

The woman stared at him for a split second, as if detecting his lie, before smiling once more. He had not noticed it before, but her eyes were a dark violet. “Well, I’m Eira, and this is my best friend and business partner Lisette,” she gestured at another woman who was emerging from behind the nearest bookshelf.

The woman named Lisette was just as pale as Eira, and their hair was roughly the same length and color, but the likenesses ended there. Where Eira was short and round, Lisette was tall and slender. Ezra's cheeks were chubby, but Lisette’s cheekbones were high and defined. Ezra’s deep purple eyes conveyed kindness, while Lisette’s peridot-green ones scanned Loki suspiciously from head to toe. She crossed her arms and leaned on the bookshelf, pursing her lips and furrowing her eyebrows.

“Now let’s see...” Eira clasped her hands together in thought while Lisette continued to stare unblinkingly at Loki. “The only inn in County Keldcaster is way up in the hills and is being completely rebuilt, it won’t be ready for guests for months... well, we can get to that later. As for work... what do you like to do?”

This question threw Loki for a loop. On Asgard he had spent most of his childhood and teenage years either playing pranks on Thor or else shut up in the library for hours. Everything he had done from then on had been centered on revenge. He realized he only had one answer that would suffice in Midgard.

He took a deep breath and answered. “Honestly... I love books,” he smiled sheepishly and gestured about them at the plethora of books. “I suppose that is what drew me in here to gather my thoughts in the first place.”

“Oh I see,” Eira laughed good-naturedly. “In that case I’m sure we can find something for you to do around here, right Lisette?”

“Sure,” came Lisette’s curt reply. She had raised an eyebrow higher up her forehead, but her eyes remained trained on Loki’s face. He shifted uncomfortably and did his best to pay attention to Eira. Listening to her go on, he smiled in spite of himself.

“Pippin & Puddleglum is the only bookshop in town, and the only library. We have old and new books for rent and for sale,” Eira beamed, but then her face fell. “But I don’t think we have the budget for a third employee... Oh I’ve got it!” she exclaimed, clasping her hands together again in excitement. “I have a spare bedroom in my house, why don’t you just live with me for the time being?”

At this, Lisette finally broke her gaze upon Loki and instead turned it upon Eira, who did not notice her friend staring at her as if she had lost her mind and continued to speak. Loki, for his part, felt his jaw drop and had to lift it with his hand.

“It’s only me and my cat right now, and there’s always plenty of food, so it won’t be any trouble to have you... lodging will be your payment for the work you do here at the bookshop! It’s perfect!”

Lisette looked as if she wanted to say something, but she kept quiet. Loki took his chance and bowed low. “Thank you for your kindness, Miss Eira,” he whispered humbly, then stood once more to find Eira and Lisette both with mildly surprised expressions on their faces.

“How nice,” Eira smiled and recovered herself in a moment, while Lisette fixed Loki with a stare once more. “Now, it’s nearly closing time, so Lisette and I are going to finish tending to the rest of the customers and then lock up... you’re welcome to pick a book and a chair until we’ve finished!” she motioned to the mass of shelves and seats, and with that she turned on her heel and walked briskly to the service desk. Lisette remained a moment longer, keeping her judgmental eyes on Loki, before pivoting and following Eira to the back of Pippin & Puddleglum.

Loki stood still until both women were positioned behind the desk and had begun rising up purchases. When he finally moved, he directed his steps to the bookshelf on the left wall and perused a small section. Eira had not exaggerated; there was certainly every kind of book on these shelves. Loki found books on ancient civilizations and famous historical figures, on plants and animals, books full of classic stories and poetry. He finally selected a shabby paperback of Nordic myths - he thought this would be appropriate as well as nostalgic - and settled into a threadbare green armchair to read.

Reading the stories about his family, his associates, and his environment brought his mind back to his old life, before he learned the truth and everything fell apart. These stories were really nothing more than mortal interpretations of the truth. In truth it was almost comical to read the stories Midgardians dreamt up about their gods and goddesses, particularly regarding his own fate: strapped to a boulder beneath a deadly serpent, venom dripping from its fangs. Loki covered his mouth to keep from laughing.

It seemed like just the next minute - but it was actually about thirty minutes - when Loki realized that all of the customers had left. He returned the book to the shelf and began walking to the back of Pippin & Puddleglum, searching for Eira. As he came within earshot of the service desk, he heard Eira and Lisette whispering. The more strident voice was Lisette’s, he knew now. He jumped behind the bookcase to eavesdrop.

“Are you insane, Eira?” she was asking in hushed whispers. “You have invited a stranger to live in your home. A complete and total stranger from who knows where!”

Loki heard Eira sigh. He peeked out from behind the bookcase and saw her shrug.

“What was I supposed to do? The inn is completely in shambles, so he can’t stay there, and even if there was anywhere else in town for him to stay there is no assurance that anywhere else would hire him, and we don't have enough money in the budget for an extra employee. This was the best possible solution.”

“You know this is dangerous,” Lisette chided angrily. “We both know it.”

“Well,” Eira sighed, audibly annoyed with her friend. “If he murders me, you know where I keep the file detailing my funeral and burial arrangements.”

Loki heard a drawer slam shut and had just enough time to jump into an innocent position - merely admiring the selection of Proust - before Eira and Lisette rounded the corner, both of them wearing burgundy coats.

“Alright, let’s be off,” Eira announced, grabbing one of Loki’s suitcases. “I’ll take one of these, and you can follow me to my house. I’ll see you tomorrow, Lisette!”

Lisette hummed, presumably doubtful, but nodded and followed Eira and Loki out the front door of Pippin & Puddleglum before going left down the sidewalk. Eira went right instead, walking rather quickly for a plump woman, nodding in greeting to every person she passed.

Loki received some strange glances from the same people who smiled at Eira, but he chose to ignore them. No use in getting upset over that when he did, in fact, deserve much worse. He did a fair bit of shivering also; he had not realized up until now - possibly from mere nerves - how cold it really was outside.

The walk from Pippin & Puddleglum was either not that far or else took less time because of Eira’s brisk strides, but very soon they took a left and were headed up into the hillsides. The

paths here were more dirt than anything, and instead of residential streets the paths just broke off to each home. Eira led him straight until they reached nearly the very end of the winding paths, at which point she turned and went up the walkway to a small red cottage covered with vines and surrounded by dozens of various kinds of white flowers. Instead of walking on dirt up to the porch, Loki found that they were walking on decorative stepping stones.

They reached the front door, which for some inexplicable reason was painted purple, and Eira turned a key in the lock. When it clicked, she looked over her shoulder at Loki and said cheerily, “Welcome to Redwall, Mr. Laurence.”

#fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #write #writer #writing #loki x oc #loki (marvel) #loki fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki #eira

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Thor (2011)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

Yes, three times.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Three (21.42% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eleven.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

The fun:boring ratio tilts considerably depending on audience mood and/or desire for originality; the majority of the story is generic in the extreme and can be tedious as a result, however those elements which are more unusual and intriguing arguably save the overall product. 

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Darcy asks Jane if she can turn on the radio. Jane tells Darcy to drive into the anomaly. Jane tells Darcy to stop talking about her iPod.

Female characters:

Jane Foster.

Darcy Lewis.

Sif.

Male characters:

Eric Selvig.

Odin.

Loki.

Thor.

Fandral.

Hogun.

Volstagg.

Heimdall.

Laufey.

Phil Coulson.

Clint Barton.

OTHER NOTES:

“But I supported you, Sif.” Good to know that Thor supports non-traditional gender roles, despite being such a macho cliche.

I’m really very concerned by Jane’s driving. Someone revoke her licence. 

“Son of Coul.”

Heimdall does not get enough credit for being the MVP of Asgard. 

Loki’s suggestion that maybe he’ll pay Jane a visit himself is clearly intended to goad Thor into fighting him and as such need not be taken seriously, but it’s still totally uncool. Of all the goading methods he could have used, we really didn’t need to go for the implied rape threat.

I thought they might manage a Bechdel pass between someone other than Jane and Darcy for a moment there at the end of the movie, but Frigga doesn’t actually get referred to by name in this movie, and she and Sif only talk about Thor anyway. Disappoint on both counts. I kinda also thought Jane and Darcy might do some more/better passing in general; it’s better than nothing, but the three passes they got were pretty freakin’ weak.

When it comes to uninspired, generic origin stories, this movie kinda makes Iron Man look like an innovative goldmine by comparison. ‘Arrogant man takes a humble, learns to value his power and earns it back through selflessness’, it’s...been done. A lot. And while Chris Hemsworth’s Thor is watchable and not without charm, he’s not an especially charismatic actor and the predictable arc of his character doesn’t offer much scope to impress, while the typically-excellent Natalie Portman suffers a similarly bland fate with prescription-love-interest Jane Foster. The chemistry between the two is pretty nonexistent, and frankly it’s easier to believe that Jane is a slightly-amoral scientist essentially using Thor for her own gain, rather than buying that she’s becoming genuinely enamoured. If the film had leaned into the idea of Jane Foster: Amoral Scientist a little stronger, they could have built a more interesting (though less comfortable) narrative and perhaps even a more believable romance as the two bond over their shared moral learning curve. But, that would require Jane’s character to be more of a priority beyond finding excuses for her to be in Thor’s presence and develop ~feelings~, so. Not shocked they failed to deliver there.

Pretty much every person who has ever seen this movie (and probably some who’ve only read about it) agrees that Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is where the fire’s at, both as an individual character and in terms of the plot he facilitates and inhabits. It’s not hard to understand why: while Thor has his dull human journey in the desert on Earth (the majority of which is spent just going places and talking to Jane and occasionally having a comedic ‘not from around here’ moment), Loki is a trickster God with magic powers living in the mythological land of Asgard and playing out a long con to win both the throne, and his adoptive father’s approval. Anything about the film that is clever or different or interesting, visually engaging, or emotionally poignant, it’s going on in Asgard, in the part of the plot where Thor is absent for the bulk of the film. Unfortunately, Thor’s absence from that thread means that we don’t get to spend nearly as much time enjoying it, and that’s why even the film’s best qualities can’t necessarily save it from the generic trash-pile. It’s easy to reach the end of the film in frustration, wondering how the Hell the strongest elements of the story (Shakespearean tragedy on alien worlds!) wound up as background noise to an unconvincing snooze-fest romance in Nowheresville, USA.

Broken into its component parts, Loki’s story isn’t that unfamiliar either; ‘jealous younger brother vies for older brother’s birthright’ has been done a fair bit (The Lion King being the most well-known example, let’s not kid ourselves), as has the juxtaposition of entitled brat vs scrappy underdog, as has ‘driven mad by envy’ and ‘power corrupts’ and pretty much any other trope being invoked in Loki’s lane. However, it works through 1. Hiddleston’s dynamic performance, 2. any and all majesty/intrigue/gravitas supplied by the setting, and 3. the additional factor of Loki discovering his adoption and true Frost Giant heritage. While it should not be ignored that Loki’s machinations for the throne predate that revelation and therefore it is neither an influence on his overarching ploy nor an excuse for him devising that ploy, Loki’s struggle with learning that his life as he’s known it was built on falsity and the way that complicates his desire to prove himself provides him some all-important nuance and pathos that gives the audience something to latch onto and identify with, even if only as empathetic understanding (one hopes that no one is going so far as to identify with the attempted genocide or the successful patricide; most of us can identify with betrayal/abandonment/daddy issues to some extent or another). Even if his ultimate decisions are plainly reprehensible, Loki’s journey to that point is littered with appreciable miseries, and that makes it an obvious emotional narrative standout compared to Thor’s paint-by-numbers excursion.

The villain narrative being the highlight of a story isn’t entirely unusual (though films in which this is unintentionally so tend also to be poorly conceived), but what’s really unfortunate is that Thor’s character motivations are not second in complexity to Loki’s; the criminally underused Heimdall is actually the next-most nuanced character around (and look at that, he’s also on Asgard and not bore-ing it up on Earth). The thing about Thor’s arc is that it’s not just predictable, it’s not just generic: it’s also barely there. We perceive the arc because we’re so familiar with the trope, but we don’t actually watch Thor learn anything, we don’t see practical signs of the degradation of his arrogance and his transformation into a wise warrior who understands restraint. Beyond causing a ruckus when he first arrives on Earth, Thor really doesn’t display any aggressive entitlement, he settles into pleasantly-strange-fish-out-of-water mode pretty much immediately, and he seems to ‘learn his lesson’ spontaneously after being told that his father is dead. He appears to mourn the implications of his inability to lift Mjolnir more than he is bothered by being told of Odin’s demise and that he can never go home; those latter revelations instead trigger his instantaneous reformation (insofar as he says the words “my father was trying to teach me something only I was too stupid to see it”) and that’s it. Confronting the destroyer and being ‘killed’ by it prompts the return of his Godhood, but refusing to shrink from a fight isn’t a change of pace for the character we saw at the beginning of the film; all in all, there’s no actual clear-cut learning in this process, there’s just a complication-free acceptance of his apparent new state of being, and that means he’s worthy of kingship now? Were they too afraid of making him dislikeable by playing out an excess of arrogance on Earth, so they softened him up immediately and in doing so, downgraded his character arc to just the concept of one rather than an actual presence? If there were more of a distinct process to his experiences on Earth, they’d be less damn boring, because we’d be following an actual story instead of just waiting for them to hit each predictable beat, and maybe they’d also generate some real characterisation of any of the Earth characters while they’re at it (instead, we have completely-useless-to-the-plot-comic-relief Darcy, and surrogate-dad-exposition-master Selvig, comprising the whole of Jane’s illustrious company). Thor’s clutch of friends back home may be a one-dimensional quartet defined almost entirely by their most obvious single descriptors (the female, the Asian, the fat guy, and...Sir Didymus), but at least they have a clear trajectory of plot-relevant motivation, even if they do become inconsequential by the end of it. Yeah, this isn’t a very good movie.

I said at the top that audience mood may be a deciding factor in the success or failure of the film, and I mean that in the sense that this is a movie that may prompt vastly different responses in the same person over different viewings; speaking for myself, I have watched it and been basically entertained and appreciative of the visuals and at least some of the characters and story elements, but I’ve also watched it and been overwhelmingly bored by the trite predictability and the flat characterisation of most of the players, and unimpressed by the soft-focus CGI of Asgard. Caught in the right mood, Thor’s inexplicable laid-back Earth persona can hit just the right note for casual comfort viewing. Caught in the wrong mood, Loki’s Asgard shenanigans feel over-hyped and not engaging enough to save the movie. Is Jane too bland, or full of shades of untapped character potential? Is Darcy funny, or painfully annoying? Is Heimdall intriguing, or too nebulous to matter? It all comes off very conditional, little of it anchored solidly or fleshed out strongly enough in-text to be considered an absolute. The plot floats, dependent on the aura of various cliches rather than categorically declaring itself in any unequivocal ways. It’s not particularly messy, so at least it has that going for it, but even that is a conditional statement. The film is rarely subtle enough to develop any depth, and the shallow invocations of the idea of a narrative arc lack the conviction necessary to make simplicity a virtue. The end result? I guess the best word for it is ‘forgettable’. 

#Thor #MCU #Marvel Cinematic Universe #Bechdel Test #female representation

[my-heart-in-his-teeth]

Mischief and the Maiden(Mature)

Thank God For Fan Fiction!

Maaaan, after seeing Infinity War I felt I needed to resurrect Disney Prince era Loki and walk around in that world for a while so I wrote a whole goddamn short story with the guy. Hope you like it!

Loki x OFC

Author’s Note: A sort of modern fairy tale that takes place a few years before the events in the first Thor- before everything went wrong for our favorite brat prince. There’s plot all up in this smut! (x-posted)

Summary:A couple of Asgardians take an awkward girl for a thief and steal her away to their realm to face justice from the prince himself. But nothing is as it seems when the God of Mischief is involved, it turns out being kidnapped might be the best thing that ever happened to her and her life will thankfully never be the same.

The tree had stood for centuries undisturbed as life rose and fell around it. Birds did not come to it. Animals circled long to avoid it's path and any man that happened to see it grew uneasy and continued on swiftly without wondering why. Moonlight broke through it's leafless branches casting a long. wirey shadow down the steep hillside. No one heard the wind that breathed out from inside of it as it's bark peeled open wide to allow two men to step out from it's shimmering depths.

The larger of the two men produced a small spherical mechanism from his cloak and raised it up in his palm, Light grew from within it and the golden pieces and gears began to move. The man eyed it's workings for a moment before closing it in his hand."We should not have to linger here long. It looks as though what we seek is just East of us."

"I hope you are right Eirik. I remind you that if we are caught on Midgard -" The other man began to chide before being cut off with a dismissive wave of his friend's hand.

"The amount of gold the prince is paying us to retrieve this trinket is far larger than the risk. He assures us this portal is hidden from even Heimdall's sight. Just think, if we finish this simple task , we will be in his favor. It is no small thing to be in the favor of a prince, Ivar" He winked and put the device back into the folds of his cloak.

"Yes, but all this secrecy.... "

"Even princes make mistakes." Eirik shrugged. " Can you blame him for not wanting the Allfather to discover one of his? Besides he made it very clear to me that he strongly abhors those who act in such a clandestine matter, but that at times it is...what did he call it? Oh yes: a necessary evil."

Ivar's eyes narrowed a bit and he nodded. When he'd learned of Eirik's errand to Midgard he had asked to join him and Eirik agreed readily. He didn't care about the promise of gold, his family had more than enough wealth, but he was keenly interested on the missteps of a prince of Asgard. However, he was not a very brave man and knew that Eirik wasn't a very wise one.

Seeing the look of concern on his friend's face, Eirik laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. "Come Ivar, let us get on with it. You will see that you can truly trust the word of Prince Loki!"

At that, a touch of dread wafted through Ivar's being. He shook it off and continued on.

~~~

If there had been one thing Elaina could wish at that moment, it was that the world would abruptly come to a fiery end before he could speak again. But she wasn't one for wishing and he wasn't one to dance around what he wanted to say, and so out it came.

"I think we should see other people."

She wasn't really in love with him, but her stomach still dropped and a familiar coldness spread out from it leaving her physically numb yet unforgiveably focused on his words. He said nothing she hadn't heard before, but it still cracked at her heart. It just seemed they wanted different things, moved at different paces, he really liked her and hoped they could hang out soon, and so on and so on.

In her experience, when a guy told her that he wanted to see other people, half the time it meant he was already seeing them , but still wanted to keep his foot in her door, just in case.

He said he would call her next week and she said that would be great. They both knew they were lying, but this was just how these things seemed go.

She leaned against the door that she had both literally and figuratively shut on him and sighed. "Well."

The sudden soft drag of her cat's body against her ankle called her hands they and scooped him up, stroking his midnight fur. " That could have gone worse I suppose, Byron. I'm really getting better at being a complete romantic failure. " He purred and gazed at her through content, half lidded eyes. "Besides, you didn't like him anyway."

No, this wasn't heartbreak, but disappointment. Defeat. Of course she had thought he was different or she wouldn't have bothered trying. But the problem was that she was always the same. She wanted romance and didn't want to be rushed about it. She knew she was weird and too bookish for a lot of people's liking. She knew all about mythology and nineteenth century fairy tales but she couldn't tell you which Kardashion got fat sucked out of or injected into their body that week.

She didn't mesh well with the general public and attracted similar socially awkward types, yet the spark was never there with any of them and the relationships fizzled after a while. She still tried. She was early enough in her twenties that she hadn't given up on finding whatever she was looking for in someone else, but each dead end made her a bit more tired and apathetic about it.

She lowered Byron so he could step on to the green damask sofa where she would likely end up sleeping tonight after some wine and a good chunk of some book she'd already read. She crossed the room that was lined with cheap shelves overstuffed with books, half dead plants and the odd shrunken head and articulated bird skeleton. The books were hers, the oddities she had inherirted from her grandmother, who had owned a little curiosity shop and filled it with the many strange things aquired from her travels. Much of it had been sold off, but what wasn't took up residence here- including a small silver wine rack that always had at least one bottle of red in it.

As she poured herself a glass, she thought she saw light flicker from the shelf above her. She glanced up and it was gone, but there was something odd. Half hidden behind a pair of antique Matroyshka dolls and resting on the spines of a stack of Neil Gaimon paperbacks, a broken bit of carved stone caught her eye. It was nearly oblong, smooth on one side and jagged on the other and the only thing keeping it from being just a bit of broken rock were the reddish runes engraved there. Just then they looked brighter.

She raised up on her toes and squinted. Yes, they looked brighter, as though they had been shined up. But she hadn't dusted in...she had never dusted. She picked up the stone, it's cool weight covering her entire hand. She brought it to the couch and looked at it for a moment more before setting on the coffee table.

"Hmm." She eyed it suspiciously one more time, but as it didn't do anything more interesting than look cleaner, she picked up her book and eventually read herself asleep in the soft glow of a parlor lamp.

Her skin prickled under the cool brush of fingertips down her throat, across her breasts and up her thighs. The heat of breath was just behind her ear as a hand cupped her sex and another gently gripped the back of her neck, long fingers tilting her head towards the mouth that she kissed eagerly, allowing his tongue to slip gracefully over hers as she moaned softly into him. She was burning, the throb of desire between her legs almost painful as she wrapped her leg around his waist and pressed herself tightly against his hand, hips rotating until his fingers found her entrance and began to slide in-

Her eyes blinked open and she groaned in frustration. "Every fucking time!"

"Well, Eirik, this one has quite the mouth doesn't she?"

She made a small scream as she snapped up and spun off the couch and onto the floor. Two tall men dressed like they'd just come from a high end Ren faire were standing just behind the coffee table, inches from where her sleeping face had just been.

They were both tall and muscular, one was blonde and looked to be closer to her age, a greedy smirk sat above a patch of smooth hair that covered his chin. The other was older with reddish hair streaked with white that hung in waves down his back and shoulders He had a long beard of the same coloring with two impressive braids woven into it- he was also smirking, but only with his eyes. Christ- did they just watch me have a filthy dream? She may have blushed if not for all of the adrenaline.

"Get out!" She awkwardly yelled and scootched back until she hit a shelf and scrambled to her feet. The men made no move but to raise their eyebrows

The door to her apartment was open behind them and led directly outside. Her phone was on the table in front of them. She decided she couldn't get close to either quickly enough, so she bolted for her bedroom just down the hall behind her. She couldn't feel her legs as they propelled her, what felt like comically fast, into her door , flinging it wide open with the force of her shoulder before her hands had time to raise themselves in front of her. She slammed it shut and turned the lock on the handle, hoping that would grant her enough time to escape.

The windows seemed large enough to fit through, though she'd never once opened them. From there she could make it to the street and maybe a neighbor's house. She looked down at her bare feet. No time to remedy that. Her black dress dotted with red flowers stopped a few inches above her knee and likely wouldn't hinder her efforts to climb out.

There were two other apartments in her building, but they were both empty. No one was around to hear her screams as was murdered. Or maybe they just wanted to rob the place. Good luck with that, she thought as she unlocked the window and strained to push it open. I'm sure you guys will get loads of cash for my 8 year old laptop. Please enjoy that taxidermied squirrel as consolation for breaking into the house of a poor person.

She just managed to realize that the windows had been painted shut when she heard a loud CRACK. She turned in time to see the door, frame and all, land on the carpet. The blonde man looked down at it and then to his hands, holding them up in mock surprise. He lowered them slowly and met her wide eyes. "Apologies. I forgot that everything is so frail here." he looked her up and down tauntingly. "Come here, girl."

His face was actually quite handsome, but when he beckoned her with a smile, she froze. Nothing about him was friendly, especially that smile. His voice was coated in a strange accent and she started to realize that everything was off about him. The clothes he was wearing weren't just that of an obsessive Tolkien fan, they were completely foreign. What he wore looked more expensive than anything she owned. The fabrics, the boots, the sword- wait. SWORD? Yes, there sitting in a gilded scabbard attached to his belt. An actual sword.

The other man stepped into the room glancing down to the door and then to her. His eyes twinkled ever so slightly and she remembered to breathe. He seemed at least less menacing, but her heart was racing and her mind was trying desperately to rationalize what was happening. Her hands gripped onto the windowsill as though it were the only thing keeping her sanity tethered. He turned to his companion. "Ivar, perhaps we should leave the mortal. we have the stone. She would only be a burden."

"Nonsense, Eirik!" He approached her casually, that smile never fading and his dark eyes locking on to her, proclaiming her his prey. Every bit of her tensed the closer he came. He stopped inches in front of her and bent his face close to hers. "You aren't going to be a burden are you?"

Being that close to him made her skin crawl with his every word. She snapped then and pushed off of the windowsill, diving for the door, knowing she wouldn't make it.

His arm easily wrapped around her waist and she screamed and punched and clawed at him, to absolutely no avail. He laughed. "She's got fight!" And flung her to the bed.

The red-bearded man moved quickly to place his arm across her torso, pinning her in place, and covered her mouth with his hand. His eyes were calm as they looked into hers. " No harm will come to you. but you cannot fight us, and will only hurt yourself trying." His voice was even and slightly scolding. "Now I am going to take my hands off of you, but you must compose yourself or you will force my friend to tie you up." He leaned closer to her, his beard tickled her cheek and he winked. "And he would probably enjoy that far too much."

He released her and she sat up, tugging her skirt which had fallen far up her thighs. Unsurprisingly, when she looked over to Ivar he was watching her, licking his lips. She didn't hide her grimace and that seemed to amuse him.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Mortal. Redbeard-the one the other called Eirik, he had used the word 'mortal'. Who uses that word outside of an Anne Rice novel? Then things began to click together. The door. Knocked off it's hinges at the touch of his hand. They were too strong. Too strange. It was dark out. Holy shit.

"Ohhh," She slid off the bed and stood up cautiously and turned to face them. "...kaaay." Her hands instinctively went to her throat and her eyes quickly went to the wall next to her dresser where she kept her necklaces hanging neatly on several tiny hooks. One of them was a cross that held no actual spiritual value to her, but she began to inch towards it anyway. the men paid her no mind.

"Ivar, let's leave the girl. I'm sure the stone will suffice." Eirik again urged his friend. He held up the broken stone with the now glowing red runes and examined it. " Hmm...I thought it would be bigger."

She stopped inching and her eyes widened with realization. "That stone! I knew it was acting strangely! That's what this is about?"

"Yes" Ivar answered. "We were sent to bring it back," he leaned down toward her and lowered his voice to just above a whisper. "Along with whomever stole it."

"What?! I didn't steal anything!That thing belonged to my grandmother." She pointed an defensive finger at him. "And don't think of saying that she stole it either! She was far more Antiques Roadshow than Tomb Raider.' She paused at the mental image. "Look, take the stone, just please leave me here. Alive."

"It's not us you'll have to convince, girl. Besides, we have come a long way and I would very much like to enjoy your company on the journey home." He clapped his hands together. "And perhaps if you are found innocent , the prince will let me keep you."

Nausea rolled into her stomach. Prince?

Eirik regarded Ivar with a knowing smile. "So that's why you were so eager to accompany me on this journey despite you known loathing for the prince. You wanted a wee bit of plunder for yourself."

"Well," Ivar sighed. " I do enjoy my baubles. And this one is quite pretty, do you not agree? Midgardian slaves do still find their way to our realm now and then. No one would even notice or care that she were there. And as for the prince, my opinion on him matters not. The throne will never be his."

The stone disappeared into the fold's of Eirik's cloak and he chuckled. "You seem so certain of that! But I do not wonder why. tell, me how many spies do you have employed to keep a watch on him? What is it you expect to uncover?"

"Oh, don't be foolish! He has been scheming against his brother and the realm for ages. there have been whispers but never proof. My family has employed dozens to gather information to expose him. Once I have that I will go to the king."

"It is no small thing to be in the favor of the king." Eirik said, raising an eyebrow. "But I do hope you will not include this little adventure in your report."

"Of course not, my friend." Ivar's smile said.

She watched their exchange and her abhorrence for Ivar grew. Even she could see he was lying, but unfortunately for her, Eirik seemed to be the more trusting and passive of the two.

Ivar started toward her and she felt a scream involuntarily begin to rise in her throat.

"No , no. Let me." Eirik strode in front of him, holding something small and glowing amber in his hand. "If she is for the prince, then it is my duty to make sure she is unscathed." He held her fast around the waist. his eyes were still calm, and still twinkling as he looked down on her, his face otherwise unreadable beneath that great red beard.

"Wait," she whispered. "Just please tell me..." she swallowed hard and forced her brain to override how ridiculous her next question was. "Are you a ...vampire?"

She saw Eirik throw his head back and heard the start of his bellowing laughter, then the light in his hand grew bright, entering her eyes and enveloping everything in it's glow until there was only silence and the dark.

#Loki #fan fiction #Loki fanfic #loki x ofc #marvel #myth #god of mischief #TGIF #Thank God For Fan Fiction #AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?!

[thesffcorner]

Avengers: Infinity War Review

Avengers: Infinity War is the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s latest venture, directed by Anthony and Joe Russo. It takes place 2 years after the events of Avengers Civil War and follows Thanos on his quest to gather all the infinity stones and destroy half of the universe.

As this is a film that has been 10 years in the making, with elements and threads from nearly every MCU film, there is a lot to talk about and most of it consist some kind of spoiler. I will go over general impressions in the first half and get into most substantial, plot related spoilers in the latter, but if you don’t want to know anything about this movie before seeing it, I suggest you come back to this article after you’ve already done so. 

This is a difficult movie to talk about; it will definitely draw out a reaction but how positive or negative will hinge on how much you love event comics and Thanos as a character. I can’t say I liked it, but there wasn’t much that I thought was objectively wrong with it, in the way of say the Last Jedi. So let’s start first with the things I liked. 

Nearly every character that’s in this movie gets a moment to shine, be it an action beat, a scene, or just a good one liner. At no point in the film did it feel like a character was underutilized or unnecessary and the Russos do a great job at juggling all the different personalities and plot-lines. Despite the sheer amount of people the action is clear, the film rarely feels like it drags and more or less uses all its players to their fullest potential, with several having a lot more room to breathe and play.

The plot as I said is pretty pedestrian; it’s just “Thanos wants the stones so he can destroy the world and the heroes want to stop him” which works for this type of story. It’s nothing to write home about and the twists come from the individual character plot-lines and while I didn’t love it, it was pretty unobtrusive and allowed for more character interaction which is always a positive in my opinion.

The action is also for the most part excellent, with the Russos making sure everyone gets at least one scene where the kick ass, including the villains. They also get pretty creative with the different powers in the film, especially the infinity stones. There are several downright amazing scenes that showcase the time, reality and soul gems, and the two characters who get to show off the most in terms of power are definitely Thor and Strange.

Speaking of, another thing I liked was that the characters that carried the plot and got the most screen time weren’t the ones I expected would. Tony is the only one who I knew would get a lot of screen time and does, but I actually really liked his story-line; it was probably one of the best the MCU has done so far. The Russos really like and understand Tony’s character, and his emotional conflict having to do with the fear of losing Earth and all his friends, his guilt over the Avengers dissolving, him returning back to paranoia after the dissolution and creating the nano-tech suit were all excellent. The ending was also incredibly powerful for Tony specifically and there is one scene that was so emotionally visceral, it actually unsettled me.

Thor was another character that got a lot of screen time and I’m still somewhat conflicted over his character. I loved Ragnarok and I think Waititi’s Thor was the best and most accurate one we’ve gotten so far. So I was really worried when I read an interview with Hemsworth which talked about how he at first didn’t like the direction his character was going in.

And at first I agreed with him; the beginning of the film especially felt like Marvel just hates Thor and all of his supporting characters and in a way completely negates the ending and the message of Ragnarok, because it makes everything that happens in that movie irrelevant so we could get this one. What I did like was that at least (unlike Taika) the Russos gave Thor a moment to grieve and come to terms with the all the horror that happened to him in these two films and and just be human. There is a pretty touching scene between him and Rocket which I really appreciated and their pairing was very entertaining.

Strange was another character that got to shine and I liked his dynamic with Tony, especially Strange giving up the stone to save Tony’s life (even if he had ulterior motives), after plainly saying he would save the stone over everyone.

And now for some stuff I didn’t like. I’ll start with the more minor things and build up to the two major problems that I had with this movie. ACTUAL SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT FOLKS.

Firstly, this is an event comic in movie form with all the good and bad that comes with it. It’s all action and spectacle and contains surprisingly little humanity, other than in the form of jokey jokes and one liners. The tone is grim and though the film doesn’t take itself too seriously it still pauses for grandiose speeches which absolutely kill the momentum dead. Combined with the amount of characters this means that every character that isn’t plot relevant would get one line, or one scene or mostly one joke and then they are out of the movie.

People like Nat and Cap, who have been veterans of the MCU get completely lost in the shuffle. Sure they get fight scenes, but they don’t get any kind of emotional backstory. Bucky, Sam and Rhodey might as well not be here for all they do, even if they do get some funny lines here and there. Bruce fares a bit better, at least being present in most of the film, the entirety of the Black Panther cast gets like, a scene and a half and let’s not even get into people like Pepper, Loki and Wong who literally get ejected out of the film after one scene.

Gamora, Thor and Tony, are the only characters who get any emotional substance to them; the rest aren’t even deigned a subplot beyond the minimum necessary requirement to tie them into the main plot. An especially egregious example of this are both Wanda and Vision and Peter and Gamora’s romances.

Both of these romances were set up in previous films, but while they had time to slowly develop, here they need to be at Earth-shattering, I-need-you-to-kill-me-or-the-world-ends levels. This is less bad with Peter and Gamora because we’ve had more time with both characters and two whole movies to develop them, but Vision and Wanda only started really interacting in Civil War, and now they are at the stage where they are promised to each other? I also didn’t like that both romances had the same resolution; in case things go wrong Gamora and Vision ask to be killed, the only person who can do it is Peter or Wanda and we get a dramatic scene where exactly that happens only for Thanos to swoop in with one of the stones and change the outcome. Diminishing returns, is all I’m saying.

Wanda’s character had nothing to it beyond being worried and in love with Vision, but Peter… oh poor Peter.

First he gets into a stupid pissing contest with Thor about who is manlier which was just the most inane, stupid thing, then he does the exact same with Tony, and then (because the film needs him too) completely loses his mind about Gamora, and attacks Thanos, allowing him to steal the time gem and escape. Look, Peter was never the smartest person, and he does have an insecure, competitive, peacocking streak, but he was never an idiot like this film makes him out to be! Honestly all the Guardians are shafted; Mantis and Drax are barely in the film, Groot gets a single scene of cool, Rocket, while funny is relegated to being Thor’s sidekick/psychiatrist and Peter is turned into an idiot!

And now we get to Gamora. Poor Gamora, this movie did her dirty. Just a reminder, Gamora is one of the most skilled and bad-ass assassins in the galaxy, she is notorious and infamous in the Guardians films. Her entire plot in vol 2 was coming to terms not just with the abuse that Thanos inflicted on her as a child, but also the abuse she was complicit in with the other children, specifically Nebula who she was actually close to. The film ends with them starting to come to terms with this, and forgiving each other, but not Thanos who doesn’t deserve their forgiveness.

But then in this movie, she gets fooled into thinking she killed Thanos, gets kidnapped by Thanos, leads him to the soul stone and gets unceremoniously killed as Thanos’ sacrifice to get the stone. And all the time, she gets emotionally blackmailed and gas-lit by Thanos who keeps calling her his daughter, saying he wants to see her on Titan’s throne, how he sacrificed his crazy ass mission to save her once on her home-planet and choses her as the one thing in the universe he loves but has to trade to get the soul gem. WHAT?

Are we supposed to feel bad about Thanos? Thanos, the sociopathic, sadistic, torturous, unambiguous villain, who by that point in the film has killed the entirety of Asgard, including Loki and Heimdal, and the Grandmaster and the entirety of Knowhere? I absolutely hated the implication that I should feel sad because Gamora was wrong and he did love her. Not only does it badly undercut the message of vol 2 which is abuse is real and has lasting effects, but the movie wants us to on some level side with Thanos and think that Gamora really was ungrateful, since he obviously loved her and she betrayed him. They even give her this stupid speech about how the universe is punishing him by demanding he sacrificed something he loved since he doesn’t love anything, which was so over the top and drawn out and made Gamora sound like an idiot! It made me want to throw things at the screen.

I don’t need or want complexity and sympathetic traits given to a villain that has been nothing but a sheer force of evil and destruction thus far. It would have been so much better to just go the Galactus route with Thanos and make him just an unstoppable chaotic neutral force, rather than some deluded mad genius. I’m sorry, but am I supposed to sympathize with a villain literary referred to as the Mad Titan, whose grand master plan hinges on him believing the overpopulation and over-consumption myth so hard that he wants to destroy half the universe to remedy it? This is the better story than him trying to impress Death that Marvel came up with?

Even if overpopulation wasn’t a myth (which it is) what happens when living beings once again reach the status that they have now? He would have to snap his fingers every 10 000 years or so just to keep the status quo. It’s ridiculously stupid and infuriating and the film treats his plan like it actually has some merit and he’s somehow a mad genius who just goes about it the wrong way. I really didn’t need a 10 min scene of him mourning how he had to kill Gamora to get the stone that lets him DESTROY HALF THE UNIVERSE, complete with sad music and a flashback to baby Gamora asking him what kind of price he paid for his own insane plans. We could have spent that time giving Cap something to do, like maybe acknowledging that Tony, his best friend is lost in space and the world is ending.

The Russos love Thanos, he’s clearly their baby but I hated him. He took time away from the heroes that I wanted to watch and didn’t bring anything to the table but melodrama that was completely unfounded. It was also additionally frustrating because he a) is so much more powerful than any of the heroes combined and b) we know he gets all the infinity stones by the end of the film. So the question isn’t how the heroes will win, but how long will they last against him. The ending also undercuts itself, because the heroes don’t win; the glove self-destructs after Thanos uses it, meaning it would have done that regardless of if Thanos met any resistance while acquiring the stones, meaning this whole 2 and a half hour film was pointless!

The other part of the ending was shocking, but it’s not meaningful, because we know all those characters aren’t dead. We know we will get a Dr Strange 2, Black Panther 2 and Guardians 3, and we know Avengers Infinity part 2 comes out next summer so we know they are still somehow alive. My guess is they are all trapped inside the soul stone, since only the glove got destroyed at the end. Sidenote, aren’t Tony and Nebula still on Titan? So can’t they just like… sneak behind Thanos and stab him now that he’s wounded and can’t use the stones anymore?

This was a frustrating movie to watch and even more frustrating to talk about. There were things I liked, like some of the characters and humor, but for the most part I thought it was overblown, melodramatic and focused too much on the one character I cared least about. I am curious about part 2, but honestly? I feel the same about this movie as I do about event comics; who TF is Thanos and can he get out of my Guardians ongoing so I can return to reading about the characters I actually like and care about.

#avengers infinity war #film review #avengers infinity war review #moni talks

[amateurfan227]

Shitlist Christmas Reviews - The Avengers revisited - 2012

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m Amateur Fan 2.27 and welcome to the Shitlist, where bad movies burn, and this is the Christmas edition of 2017; a while ago I reviewed this movie when I first started the site and yet I’ve been getting comments over why this movie is the best, and after re-watching the movie, I can see some major flaws..... The movie I’m of course referring to is Joss Whedon’s The Avengers...

Ah Joss, what happened to you man, you were the king of fan culture with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and yet you set your career on self-destruct with the Justice League (though I’ve heard very bad things from due to direction of characters), but seeing that you’ve changed your mind in destroying the franchise I loved most through my childhood (DC) let’s have a look at one that you did indeed bastardize... Marvel...

Before I start the reviews and with the production history for that matter, there is some that I must address first on why I hate Marvel so much, granted I love Stan Lee,  his work makes me believe that Superheroes are real, from the teenage years of the Amazing Spider-man to the science beyond mutation in the Uncanny X-men.

There are other words that I can describe on how Stan Lee has indeed affected my life growing up, like he’s possibly one of the greatest living icons by far with such incredible work. Other characters were established as well which were created by other writers such as Deadpool or my particular favourite character, The Punisher. Those two characters drew me into the Marvel Universe because of one genius,

Though something comes to mind about this, other characters I admired from Marvel are interesting with incredible breakthroughs such as Spider-man’s guilt or Iron Man’s Alcoholism but with DC it’s entirely different as their characters have more personality as well as more problems when it comes to their own identities, I’ll get to this in a different review, hopefully when I review BVS...

Marvel through-out the years when it comes to producing their films has an interesting basis, mainly towards different companies like SONY or most recently Disney, some movies I did previously reviewed were interesting taking interesting takes on independent characters, such as Hulk, The Punisher (which is to be reviewed) or Spiderman.

But with the MCU however comes with one major problem.... S.H.I.E.L.D...   for those out there who don’t know S.H.I.E.L.D. is the fictional agency that deals with Paranormal or Superhuman ‘Mutant’ events through-out the world of Marvel, think of them like the Agency or Project Cadmus from DC but less ‘scientific’ (which I use loosely.... looking at you Agents of Shield...) and more on fantasy.

Through the M.C.U. Shield have been through nearly every film mention but this raises one major question on a particular level... why? Granted they are there to monitor the heroes and villains but yet through the movies.... they don’t seem to do very much about the situations the heroes (or so-called heroes for that matter) are trapped in apart from one in particular and that are Captain America.

But speaking of which we are going back into the movie that started it off to trope of SHIELD’s involvement, Avengers Assemble from 2012 directed by Joss Whedon, before I commence with the review, I’m removing to dive into the Production history due to the involvement of Disney attempting to make the heroes and the story more light hearted which divides the tone of the movie.

Especially that Disney have now purchased the rights to 20th Century Fox which also host a series of interesting movies based on the Marvel Universe (X-Men and Deadpool, Spiderman trilogy previously reviewed).

I have to admit that rebooting the Marvel Universe in the cinematic form was incredible but also difficult at the same time as it would achieve some fans in the comics as well as a fan base towards the films, though I’m not the biggest fan of the MCU but there are some moments in the franchise I do admire, as some of the problems with the heroes are mixed with some of their own characteristics, which is destroyed by Civil War which I will get to on another time as the movie and the comic it’s based on tells different stories and spawns bigger controversies.

I have to admit it that the movie I’m reviewing today was previously reviewed but I dived into it at the wrong time as I reviewed Iron Man before it which skipped 4 additional films which would corrupt the saga, but now that I’ve finished reviewing the last 4 movies (ending Iron 2) I think it’s a better idea to dive into the movie in a more appropriate manner and see if there are any problems with the movie, and trust me, there are a lot.

This is the Avengers Assemble.

 The movie begins with a monologue from an antagonist known as the Other; the leader of the race known as the Chitauri, a species from the Marvel universe similar to the Skrulls; the Other speaks towards an unknown person (see ending of Thor) that he will give Loki an army to take over Earth in return of a source of unknown potential energy known as the Tesseract (First Infinity Gem – it’s not like it’s a spoiler or anything).

In the present however, Director of SHIELD, Nick Fury (played by Samuel L. Jackson, you know what he’s been in) and his Second in Command SHIELD agent, Maria Hill (played by Cobie Smulders from How I Meet Your Mother) on a secret remote SHIELD research facility where they are performing experiments on the Tesseract as everyone is evacuating due to an energy surge.

Fury speaks to future red shirt, I mean SHIELD agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) about the problem only for the reaction to state that it woke up, being unsure that the Tesseract was activated with no-one touching it; Fury speaks about Selvig being involved with the projected stating that he can’t shut it down...

This raises a question on how a meteorologist of all people can suddenly change occupations towards a scientist responding towards Energy; but saying that, this question will respond with no answer towards the end of the movie, including the other films relating to the same character.

Agent Hill... you know I’m just gonna call her Maria from now on, Maria informs Fury that it’s a bad idea to do a minimum evacuation due to the source of the energy but Fury has other plans on stating that the Phase 2 prototypes should be sorted out first, (we will see this later on) ignoring her recommendations.

All in seriousness, it comes to show that SHIELD are shown as a reckless force than they were told in the comics, as Fury had other ideas on scrapping the secondary projects in case of situations like this, especially when it comes to times of desperation involving combinations between Primary and Secondary tasks. I will get to this later on.

Fury speaks with Selvig about the source only for him to state that the Tesseract is misbehaving, so the energy source is a sentient being all of a sudden? This also comes to a downplay when he states that it also sparks interference with electrical equipment and minimum levels of radiation, only for Fury to speak to Barton (Jeremy Renner) about the Tesseract stating that something might be coming through in response of the misbehaviour of the source.

Suddenly a wormhole opens leading to the reveal of the movies villain, Loki (Played by Tom Hiddleston), who then appears to brutally kill off a few more red shirts before brainwashing a few agents, including Selvig and Barton. Fury attempts to steal the Tesseract away (wise to take it in your bare hands dumbass) only for Loki to stop him by stating that he needs the Tesseract for a future purpose.

Loki trades a few threats towards Fury only for Barton to state that Fury is stalling and Selvig to prove that the wormhole is collapsing on itself leading them to have two minutes exactly to leave before it goes to a critical level. Fury gets shot leading for Barton to take the Tesseract leading Loki to follow as they leave the facility, only for Fury to warn Maria about the situation leading for a chase sequence to launch through the tunnels of the facility.

I have to admit, it’s a pretty creative fight scene, only problem is that it reminds me strongly of the Metal Gear Solid when Liquid chases you in Shadow Moses... Anyway Fury manages to follow Loki via Helicopter only for the facility to collapse on itself; Coulson and Maria are a safe distance from harm but Fury as some trouble as the helicopter is attacked by Loki leading him to call for action... his call for war.

The next scene we see Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow (played by Scarlett Johansson) stuck in interrogation with a Russian suspect of a presumed arms dealer only for Coulson to call her during the interrogation leading her to an able escape and the ability to take down the interrogators only for her to receive the information on what’s happened with Barton. He informs her to go after the big guy while he goes for Stark.

In Calcutta (a city in West Bengal, India) we see Dr Bruce Banner (Played by Mark Ruffalo from Shutter Island) treating patients as a general doctor, only to be called away when a girl asks for his assistance only for him to follow leading to be a trap set up by SHIELD, Banner is disproval of this when Agent Romanoff appears stating that they need his help with something, only for him to state that other guy (HULK) won’t comply.

She debriefs him by stating the Tesseract releases small pulses of gamma radiation that are too small for them to find though Banner can... which is weird because they could have asked Betty Ross who also shared Banner’s experience when it came to Gamma Radiation, or General Ross for that matter.. He tests her patience and wins over to her approval leading him to be on the team for the moment.

The next person shows Fury in a meeting with the World Security Council showing their disapproval of what Fury has planned stating that he need to stay focused on the Phase 2 project and not on Loki or the ‘handful of freaks’ only for Fury to decline by stating they only hired a response team to retrieve the Tesseract... see what I mean by reckless force?

We then see Captain America, Steve Rogers (Chris Evens) fighting against a boxing bag whilst having flashbacks from the world war only to literally punch it off the hanger only to be greeted by Fury to appear and informs him about the current situation at hand, which Rogers quickly agrees to as long as it’s to stop the threat as well as to return the Tesseract when he responds that they ‘should have left it in the ocean’.

We then skip to Iron Man himself Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr) who is in the process of repairing an electrical line under the water of New York to power up his building using pure clean energy which he himself invented (Iron Man 2) named Stark Tower. Just out of curiosity, wouldn’t that new source of energy also boost his reputation for being a scientist aside from a former weapons engineer?

As he leaves for Stark Tower, we see his assistant/girlfriend, Pepper Potts (played by Gwyneth Paltrow) who recommends him on going to the press which he’s dismissive of, only for his A.I system Jarvis (once again voiced Paul Bettany) interrupts him on Coulson’s intrusion only for Tony to ignore them numerous times. Coulson does eventually get over to Stark to consult him on joining the Avengers Initiate to Stark’s dismay on the matter at hand as he wasn’t qualified for the team.

Though he reluctantly agrees to join them over Pepper’s use of persuasion, mainly the 12% theory that Marvel has thrown out for the sake of it; Steve and Coulson are on a Quinjet on their way to the SHIELD Heli-carrier and discuss the people that he’s about to meet, which is an interesting session as Coulson literally states that he idolised Captain America but meeting him in the flesh is something of a treat.

Loki on the other hand speaks with the Other who is strongly displeased with the results that Loki is performing with the Tesseract, mainly towards Loki’s attitude against the Chitauri Army leading for a threat of the Other stating that is Loki fails, then He will come for him and no matter where he hides, He will remove everything from his existence.

However when Banner comes to meet him, he’s quite displeased that he will be locked with in a floating fortress, especially that he is suspicious about the fact that he agreed to team up with a high military force whilst searching for a device which has unlimited amount of energy. As they are brought inside for debriefing of the situation at hand, the Heli-carrier begins to ascend as well as be placed on camouflage, this raises a question on the technology itself that SHIELD are using.

If the camouflage is extended around the base of the Heli-carrier, what about the planes that are on the ship? Would they be camouflaged as well or do they run on a separate system entirely?

Meanwhile Selvig needs to acquire some iridium to stabilize the power of the Tesseract only to locate the Iridium in Stuttgart, Germany leading for Barton to state that he needs a distraction as well as an eyeball; SHIELD have managed to track Loki at a museum leading SHIELD to send Captain America with a team to assist.

At the Museum, Barton kills several guards outside to get to the safe holding the iridium while Loki performs a distraction by killing several guards also abstracting an eyeball (in quite a gruesome manner especially for a family film) to Barton to unlock the safe, Barton steals the Iridium giving Loki the advantage on taking several hostages while destroying the authority nearby.

An elderly man rises above him to confront him stating that he doesn’t fear monsters like him, only for Loki to shoot a bolt from his sceptre at him only to be defended by Captain America’s Shield just in time and oh boy...

What the actual hell have they done to his costume, it looks like he’s going to a strip club, not become a superhero, hell the early nineties Captain America costume was better than this, and to make matters worse, that this was Coulson’s idea when he mentioned that he placed something in the costume to update it, for what to announce that he’s in the closet?

A fight ensues when Romanoff arrives in the Quinjet leading Loki to gain the upper hand only for Iron Man to interrupt the fight overpowering Loki and saving Captain America before it escalates, knowing that he’s surrounded; the god of mischief surrenders and places himself arrested by SHIELD.

On route back to the Helicarrier, Stark and Rogers discuss on Loki’s performance that he’s too quiet to be remain a prisoner but something in the clouds disagree with them, a storm suddenly emerges only to be revealed by the god of Thunder himself arriving, behold the almighty Thor (played by Chris Hemsworth) who forces his way in the Quinjet and steals Loki away for a private negotiation, leading Iron Man to pursue along with Captain America.

Thor throws Loki to a mountain and starts an interrogation on where the Tesseract is but breaks down on the fact that they all missed him (referring to the Asgardians) only for Loki claims his right to the Kingdom of Asgard only for Loki to mock his brother’s love of Earth only for him to state that he will take Earth as his own.

Thor is immediately taken down to a forest by Iron Man only for a confrontation leading Stark to mock him for his clothing, which escalates into a fight between the crimson avenger and the Norse god of thunder. Err Stark, I would run if I was you, he is literally a god and you are just a mere man. Loki is literally watching them go at it only for one question is why doesn’t he run away? Captain America stops the fight leading to Thor to slam Mjolnir against the Shield only for the Shield to deflect the mighty blow.

After this, they agree to take Loki in as a team only for Thor to return the Tesseract where it belongs, on the Helicarrier, Fury places Loki into a prison cell which can descend from the atmosphere straight to the ground at a high velocity, as well as placing one final threat. The Avengers talk on Loki only for Thor to state what he knows on Loki, that he leads an army called the Chitauri as well.

The team also speak of the way Loki is planning the war at hand, also leading the fact that he needed iridium to stabilize the Tesseract only for Stark to act like he normally does and pretty much becomes a jerk to everyone aside from placing a tracer connected to JARVIS on one of the SHIELD computers, aside from stating that they need a high energy frame to support the portal that Loki requires to open the portal, which causes Maria to ask why he knows so much...

Maria... you did your homework on Stark, right? It appears that the character is heavily downplayed rather the ones we see in the comics. Though after stating this Stark becomes friends with Banner due to his experience in military science and technology leading towards a cringe-worthy moment from Captain Boy-scout... no seriously can someone please change his bloody outfit?

Stark agrees to help Banner search for the Tesseract in using the sceptre only to notice that the sceptre is both powered by the Cosmic Cube as well as having the same radiation levels of the device; though this leads to a confrontation on Stark and Rogers over the idea of joining the Avengers, leading for Stark that it was due to desperation or possibly something else while Roger’s refuses to believe it.

Though Banner has some good points such as seeing that the Tesseract needed something with enough energy to supply a replacement source and then states that Stark Tower could have that energy due to the arc reactors that support the power, or another question entirely on why is SHIELD so involved with energy to begin with.

Rogers points out dismay at Stark stating on why they didn’t want Stark on the team though Stark proves it by stating they were scared of his intellect. This is why I think Captain America is the weakest Avenger alone, his story isn’t very interesting as it just debunks everything of his own premise, he’s just a man looking for a fight and that’s it, and people wonder why I prefer DC.

Though leaving Bruce and Stark, Rogers does have some thoughts over what Stark says and starts his own investigation in some of SHIELD’s secrets and eventually does come across something of interest which does raises his suspicions, HYDRA weapons from the World War 2 era. Selvig on the other hand has supplied the last of the iridium into a support frame for the Tesseract.

Thor speaks to Coulson about Jane Foster for a brief moment stating that she was safe and away from harm only for Thor to recollect his meaning of war from a young age. Especially stating that Loki has supreme vengeance upon him alone for what Thor has done by removing his Throne away from him.

Loki on the other hand has a visitor in the form of Black Widow whom he continuously threatens by stating that her friends will be dead all to the account of her only when she releases the Monster, though through her confession she does state some feelings for Barton due to a mission gone wrong, but she manages to recover from his threats by revealing that he was going to release the Hulk on the ship.

Though this comes to a problem as Stark finds out the Phase 2 program that Fury was desperately hiding, to use the Tesseract in order to make weapons because of Thor in case they go rogue causes a huge argument between Thor, Black Widow, Banner, Fury, Stark and Rogers leading them to distrust each other as Thor calls them petty.

And to be entirely honest, it was Fury’s fault for doing so as it was his original plan on using the Tesseract which resulted in bringing Loki to Earth as well as his army, remember what I stated about SHIELD being incompetent... at least you don’t see Star Labs or A.R.G.U.S doing something this stupid.

Meanwhile in an argument between Captain America and Iron Man which leads them to suggest who would win in a fight. Barton on the other hand manages to assemble a team of corrupted agents that Loki used to attack the Helicarrier head on to retrieve the sceptre in order to awaken the portal to release the Chitauri only to shoot and explosive arrow that destroys one of the Helicarriers propellers.

This leads over to Banner stating that he attempted to commit suicide in return of living like a monster only for the Hulk to retaliate, he also states that it’s Fury who put everyone at risk for bringing him on board, this causes them to know the location of the Tesseract just in time for the explosion to hit them at full force, leading Fury to give orders to Stark and Rogers to repair the engine while Coulson to get to the armoury, Banner on the other hand is trapped with Romanoff and has no other choice but to unleash the beast.

Rogers and Stark manage to fix the engine due to broken debris whist preventing an invasion of the brainwashed henchmen from Loki, Black Widow on the other hand has some issues when Hulk starts chasing her leading him to fight Thor when he forces him away into the aircraft section, the henchmen invade the command centre leading Maria and Fury to stop them from killing the others only for Barton to shoot a virus headed arrow into the control panel disrupting one of the engines.

Maria orders a soldier to distract the Hulk via aircraft to stop him from shredding the Helicarrier apart, which he does get distracted leading him to attack the pilot leading the plane to explode causing him to fall to the earth; Iron Man manages to fix the engine on the other hand keeping the Helicarrier up in the air, leading Widow to find Barton only to knock him out of his brainwashed mind.

Thor attempts to stop Loki from escaping only to get trapped in the cage leading for Coulson to confront the god of Mischief with a gun they made from the Destroyer (Thor). Coulson gets fatally stabbed by Loki leading for Thor to get sent straight to the Earth leading for Loki to gloat about his deeds leading for Coulson to shoot him through the wall via the Destroyer’s gun.

Thor manages to break out in time leading him some temporary misuse of the Mjolnir, Loki eventually escapes but to Coulson’s death shocking the group, including Rogers and Stark. Later that day, Fury states that he found several cards that related to Captain America that belonged to Coulson which he throws at him, leading me to believe that he is blaming them.

Fury... you are aware that all this is entirely your fault, if you didn’t mess around with the Tesseract to begin with, none of this would have eventually happened, I know I’m being a bit overboard on this but you have to agree in some points that Fury in the MCU movies is portrayed somewhat over confident towards their goals but somehow manipulates others into to stating that it’s their fault for losing.

Fury states the truth that they were planning on making weapons with the Tesseract and then states that the Avengers Initiate based on a group of remarkable people on stating that they can do something more to help them with their lives... such as a being of Nordic mythology, a man whose only skill is in archery, a man who would easily drop dead from exposure to radiation, a man with severe memory problems in resulting in flashbacks, a guy with a hole in his chest which could kill him due to metallic poisoning as well as heart problems (trust me I’ve been there) and a Russian assassin... so much of a team of remarkable people there Fury.

He also performs the dead person card which is too much for Stark to handle and plainly leaves for a moment of himself... all I have to say to you, Whedon, is screw you for writing a meaningful character from the comics and turning him into an utter moron as well as a disrespectful immature child who only wants things done for his own personal need. This is why I hate the MCU... Christ, Amanda Waller in Suicide Squad was a better leader than Nick Fury in this.

Banner wakes up in a broken warehouse as well to a cameo of a celebrity who is no longer with us (Harry Dean Stanton you are missed) Henry states that he saw pretty much everything that Banner once was and states that he needs serious help. At the Helicarrier, Barton comes round from his injury and remembers who he was and apologizes to Natasha for what has happened.

Rogers and Stark have a brief moment alone and states a few good words on Phil only for Stark to literally go into a meltdown on how they are going to take down Loki which results in him remembering that he wants to hit the Avengers hard by taking down the Stark Tower as he stated to gain an audience. Where we see Selvig set up the Tesseract in the support and waiting for Loki’s permission to start.

The Avengers prepare themselves for one final fight as Thor regains his power, Stark repairing his Iron Man suit and Captain America going to a LGBT Parade; sorry I mean getting on a Quinjet and taking it to New York. Fury manages to track were they are heading and forces Maria to obtain the communications to collect backup.

Iron Man arrives first and after attempting to destroy the wormhole machine itself, he realises that he must face Loki alone, which he does so whilst preparing to obtain a newer updated Iron Man suit, this is where it loses me for a bit, Stark debunks that Loki has pissed the Avengers off only for him to reply with that’s the plan... What the Hell... so his plan was to fight a group of people who can easily over power and beat him.... what is Loki’s Motivation again? Something to do with conquering earth in return for the Tesseract...

Stark manages to threaten him that they will easily defeat him only for Loki to state that will not happen... Loki... you are as threatening as a villain as Scarecrow from Batman Begins... maybe cool and threatening once but easily overused and easily beaten...

Loki throws Stark through a window leading for Stark to activate the new suit in mid air whilst shooting Loki in retaliation for Phil, just in time for the Chitauri Army to arrive to destroy New York City... I have to admit one thing... it’s actually surprisingly amazing as well as the CGI meets Practical effects... kudos...

Thor fights against Loki for a bit leading for the others to arrive bar Banner leading to a fight between the 5 against an entire army... Loki manages to evade Thor by jumping on the Chitauri craft leading for the Avengers to separate ways to defend others as Black Widow and Hawkeye to defend a bunch of civilians and Captain America to defend the police, while Iron Man and Thor to clear the skies.

However seeing that they are overmatched, Banner arrives to assist by transforming in to the Hulk once again, which I have to admit, is a pretty amazing scene as well and a highlight from the movie in point of view especially punching on the Chitauri, killing it in the process, leading the camera to cycle around the heroes.

The team go separate ways to stop the war from spreading leading for Fury to engage a conversation with Council once again, leading for them to state that they need to launch a nuclear strike on the city to prevent the war from spreading across the country, this is also due to the national guard arriving to help defeat the aliens. Though Fury has doubts about this and cancels the communication about them.

So some reason Black Widow manages to get her way to the Tesseract only for Selvig (now out of his mind control) to reveal a weakness, Loki’s sceptre which will disrupt the wormhole destroying the invasion; The Council have managed to override Fury’s command and sends a plane to nuke New York City, Fury warns Stark about the missile which Stark attempts to trace down with the remaining battery power he has left.

Black Widow manages to obtain the Sceptre and prepares to close the portal only to stop when Stark tells them that a nuclear missile is inbound, leading Stark to grab the missile and force it through the portal in order to stop the invasion. He does so, stopping all power to his suit sending his body into a freefall while destroying the Chitauri mothership leading for Romanoff to close the portal fortunately saving Stark from being trapped.

Though this is a problem when Stark is still in freefall only to be saved by the Hulk leading the Avengers to attempt the bring Stark round from his death-like encounter, which again is saved by the Hulk as he screams which somehow brings him back to life; which brings them to the realization that Loki is still on the loose.

Loki is quickly captured and taken under custody of SHIELD who give him and the Tesseract over to Thor to return to Asgard in safety and preparation for future invasions, Fury on the other hand is in a conference call with the Council whom states that if they place a call like that then the Avengers would be at war with the council, hell even Maria Hill brings it up leading Fury to state that they will be needed when a situation will be at hand.

During the credits, Stark is changing Stark Tower to the Avengers Tower following some blueprints that he’s created, and through the mid credits, the Other speaks with his leader, the one they gave the sceptre to Loki is revealed that it is indeed Thanos.

 And that was Avengers Assemble, I have to admit one thing, it has major flaws in some areas, such as Loki’s change of motivation, Fury’s need for his own authorisation, his ideas towards making weapons on someone who didn’t expose them as threats, and another thing is the costumes towards one character in particular.

I’ll go over the good points to start with, the music alone is a plus for the feature especially done by Alan Silvestri who also worked on the Back to the Future series, or in particular Forrest Gump, the theme actually works in some scenes, especially the fighting scenes.

The acting from the main Avenger characters is incredible especially when it comes to symbolising each character from Captain America’s war fetish to Iron Man’s ego, the acting is quite spot on, though some of the characters didn’t get enough screen time possibly due to neglect from the script or mainly screen time on said characters.

Let’s look at Maria Hill for example; she needs to be explored more than just an agent as she was more closer to the characters rather than Fury was, she was more of an open character who dealt with things in a more manual position than Fury did, especially when it came to one event entirely that Fury wasn’t in... Civil War, I’ll get to that another time. Another character was Selvig as he didn’t get enough time to explain his change of career or his interest in physics.

Now for the bad side of the film, the motivation of 2 characters in particular really pissed me off with the film entirely, Loki who changed from messenger to godlike figure then back to messenger, this is a Nordic god for crying out loud and yet they down play him as just a beat up boss from a video game. It seemed like there was something different changed for the character from the first movie, such how was he meant for the power without the staff or everything that Thanos gave him.

Nick Fury’s turn now and I apologize for disliking what I stated in the review but the truth is still there, as he was supposed to bring them up to speed and introduce them to each other yet in this , he’s turned into the second antagonist villain like material only to change to a protagonist during the third act.

They should have had someone better to write the characters rather than a person who only created franchise about a teenager who sleeps with demons and vampires. The writing of the character needs to be changed PRONTO as he was more ambitious as well as profound towards a child like manner.

The costume design now which I hate to say it is really close breaking some barriers, mainly towards Captain America as I thought it was more of a satire but after watching the film kinda forced the upper hand to make some crude comments on the decision but if you look at the outfit and judge it from a Superhero movie entirely then you would see the same thing that I saw. Why modify it into a slick outfit that not even Elton John would wear, the outfit was both humorous to watch as well as ridiculous to gander at.

And that was the Avengers Assemble, unfortunately I rushed myself in the last review I made on this but it was achieved with a good rating due to how close the movie was to the comics, but after re-watching and re-reading my previous review, I was wrong on how strange it moved itself away from the atonement of the comics.

The comedic tone of the film heaves it down a bit though for a family feature it was supposed to be light hearted yet it was dark in some scenes; the writing was badly done and needs to be developed further as well as the introduction to the other characters including SHIELD agents that were featured in this film.

Hell Suicide Squad was a better team based movie than this, and that is saying something...

Unfortunately Joss, you have failed greatly to achieve Marvel’s dream of an ideology towards superheroes and how to make a movie based on superheroes; Which means that this movie is on the Shitlist for poor character development on the main villain, side character, poor costume design and story towards main villain.

I hope you guys enjoy the review and yes this is my official review for Christmas of 2017, join me next year as I dive into a review on a game that has been around since the early 1990s. I hope you guys have a lovely Christmas and if I don’t speak to you till then, I’ll see you next year...

Yours Truly,

Amateur Fan 2.27