#come on fantoms lets go!

[rebel-walnut]

Let's Do The Time Warp Again

Steddie Season 3 time travel fic, Part 2

Ao3, Pt. 1, Pt.3, Pt.4

Eddie's dying. Screaming, maybe. He doesn't think he has enough energy for it though, his eyelids already too heavy to stay open. There's so many sets of hands covering his chest, his neck, his whole body really. They're all going back to their owners bloody and red with the stuff that's supposed to probably stay inside Eddie, but he's choking on enough of it right now that he'd be perfectly content with it staying outside his body forever.

His fingers light up in pins and needles and travel up past his wrists, overwhelming the rest of his body. He feels someone glance their fingers against his cheek and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, with a soft press of something to his forehead, before the tingly sensation pulls all feeling away from him. There's a dropping feeling like he's falling, wind all around him, and bright red behind his eyelids.

And then nothing. Save for the pins and needles that begin to fade into nothingness too.

Except that Eddie opens his eyes and is greeted by a severe lack of grim reapers, and an overwhelming amount of neon lights and screaming children. 

The tingling wipes itself from his fingertips and is replaced instead by his usual anxious shakiness as Eddie rapidly blinks his eyes into his new surroundings. Only thing is, they're not new at all. He's behind the stickered wooden counter of his old gig at Hot Wax Records that he had to drop after the mall blew up. Or burnt down, whatever. Point is, the mall is very much still standing. More important possibly, Eddie is fucking alive. 

He grips the counter hard enough to splinter and digs his nails into the palm of his free hand, willing himself to- what. Wake up? Go back to being dead? Doesn't matter if you ask him, all Eddie knows is that either he was tripping incredibly hard off his ass for what seemed like a year, or all that fucked up alternate dimension D&D-come-to-life-bullshit was actually real. He's not sure which he's more inclined to believe.

He scratches his nails into the wood of the counter top again, stabilizing himself before he faints or his knees give out, other hand traveling everywhere he still feels the fantom sickly stick of his own blood. Despite his finger tips coming away dry from his torso, Eddie can't help the panic rising in his chest. His hand finds its way to his throat, feeling for his pulse and the swell of his breath. Still no blood. Heart still beating. Good.

His breaths are coming out raggedy and forced as a flash of blue from outside the door catches his attention, the man in the bright costume spinning around in a similarly frenzied state to mirror Eddie's own.

Eddie's hallucinating. Or dreaming. Because no goddamn way did he get blasted to a year ago, but more reasonably no way is King goddamn Steve Harrington standing in front of him in an honest to God sailor costume with sinfully short shorts, and possibly lip gloss. And blonde highlights. 

Hallucination-sailor-Steve is staring at him like Eddie's the answer to all his problems, like Eddie's pitiful half panic attack that he's currently having will help Steve at all. Yet, Eddie finds himself shifting towards Steve on instinct just as Steve does the same.

"Eddie?" 

It comes out almost inaudible from where Eddie's standing, but he recognizes the shape of his name nonetheless. Especially when it's coming out of hallucination-sailor-Steve's mouth. Eddie drops the hand that's been slowly tightening around his throat, still staring shock-eyed and slightly disbelieving at Steve.

It takes Eddie a couple tries to get his mouth around the word, trying and failing to push past the blood from another life that's clogging his vocal cords. He finally gets out a hushed "Steve?" that he's almost certain hallucination-sailor-Steve couldn't have heard, but apparently it's enough to spring Steve into action.

Steve's at the counter in seconds, hands reaching for Eddie and then halting in a half aborted grab, his eyes equally reaching for everything Eddie had to offer.

"Are you-" Eddie starts, not sure where to go with that. Steve makes another half gesture towards Eddie, not quite something that would've been a hug but maybe more of an urgent grab. His eyes are dead serious and deep with a complexity Eddie has never seen before. It would be enchanting if they weren't in a possibly life threatening scenario.

"What do you remember?" Steve asks, all seriousness and hard edges. Eddie gets himself around the side of the counter on wobbly legs, getting as close to Steve as he can without them touching.

"I- I was dying. Or maybe I died, I don't know. Whatever happened when I was bleeding out from a bunch of demon-bat bites," Eddie swallows hard at his own reminder, "I swear it happened in '86, and definitely not while I was working at a mall that I'm pretty sure shouldn't be standing right now." 

Eddie waits for Steve to give him a weird look, a look that says what the fuck, freak? You think you're a time traveler? Or maybe he just expects hallucination-sailor-Steve to finally disappear into gossamer and mist and leave Eddie to pick up the pieces of his likely DMT fuelled year long psychotic break.

Instead, probably unsurprisingly, Steve just looks at him with understanding while his brow knits itself a little closer together. A grimace of unfortunate understanding, if you will.

"So we're in the same boat, then," Steve grits out with his eyes still searching Eddie's. Eddie can't help the snort that escapes him despite his current state of panic.

"No way the first thing you do is make a sailor pun after we find out we literally just fucking time travelled, dude."

Steve's brow furrows impossibly tighter as he fights back his own smirk.

"Not the point. We need to figure out how to get back. Or at the very least, what to do if we're stuck," Hallucination-sailor-Steve is back to his serious face, all urgency and end-of-the-world scowl. Eddie's stomach lurches at the thought of being stuck back in time, his hands subconsciously reaching for stability on Steve's arms. Steve pulls his arms back like he's been burned before Eddie even touches him, panic threading through his features.

"Wait!" Steve shouts over the sound of the sting of rejection in Eddie's palms, but the fear in his voice is enough to push Eddie's personal problems aside for a moment. "Aren't we not allowed to touch each other?" Eddie's confused and skeptical glance is enough to get Steve to keep talking. "I mean like- in time travel movies and sci-fi shit, you're not supposed to touch or talk to your other self and all that. It fucks with the space-time contin-whatever the hell."

Eddie blinks for a moment at the pure sight that is Steve Harrington in a sailor costume explaining sci-fi nerd shit to him. Maybe dreams do come true. Regardless, Eddie says, "Yeah, but we're not the same person. Besides we came here together I think, so it should be fine. Right?" 

Eddie is 100% not confident in this theory, still pretty confident, but he'd rather explode into a million timey-wimey bits than never be able to touch Steve in this universe. Plus, maybe touching each other will send them back to their proper timeline. It's such a convincing theory that Eddie tells Steve as much.

Steve sighs the most dramatic sigh Eddie has ever heard in his life that didn't come from Eddie's own mouth. "Yeah, you're right. We should rule it out, or at the very least see if it does anything," Steve says as he tentatively raises his hand up between them, palm facing Eddie. He quirks an eyebrow at Eddie, gesturing for him to do the same.

Eddie pulls his shaking hand up an inch away from Steve's own, palms facing each other. They both take in a shuddering breath, Steve giving a silent nod to Eddie before gently pressing their skin together.

Eddie waits to explode. He waits for the walls to crack and shatter, a red chasm of nightmares opening beneath him. He waits for his insides to become his outsides, for the world to snap into darkness and leave him behind. Instead, he only feels the gentle warmth of Steve's hand against his.

They both release their breath at the same time, a timid laugh escaping Steve's lips with his breath. Eddie breaks into his first smile since his death, and against his better judgement, laces his fingers between Steve's. Steve doesn't make any move to dislodge him. The euphoria of not spontaneously combusting is short lived as Steve's face turns grim once again.

"We need to get back to Scoops and fill Robin in."

"Buckley's here too?" 

Steve doesn't bother answering Eddie's question, just turns to the exit of the record store. For the moment, Eddie doesn't bother asking again. Fully content to let himself be led somewhat frantically through a mall that shouldn't exist with probably-not-a-hallucination-sailor-Steve's hand warmly in his.

_____

TAG LIST: @estrellami-1 @melodymeddler @songbird-garden @gregre369 @croatoan-like-its-hot @messrs-weasley

Working on the next part! This may end up being a full length fic, in which case it will also be up on my ao3 which I will link once its up. Thanks for reading!

EDIT: Now on Ao3 HERE

#steddie ficlet #steddie fanfic #steddie #steddie au #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #shovel writes

[taylor-on-your-dash]

Writing of Speak Now Timeline

Disclaimer: Hello! Just a quick note before you dive in. As I said in the Writing of Red Timeline, not every album has enough information to pinpoint the exact date on which its songs were written. Sadly, Speak Now is one of those albums, so I based this timeline more on the experiences that I think inspired the songs on the album. Of course, I'm not Taylor, I'm not in her head and I don't know people in the music industry that can corroborate this research. Therefore, there's always the chance that some of the conclusions might be wrong. You are more than welcome to take the sources listed here and come up with your own theories on the condition that you'll credit me. This is 100% my research, originally posted on Reddit on March 3rd, 2023.

Trigger Warning: John Mayer.

Introduction: The making of Speak Now was very different from Fearless which was recorded live, and closer to Debut. After Taylor wrote a song, the first step was to record a stripped-down demo at Nathan Chapman's studio Pain In The Art, where Nathan would play all of the instruments and Taylor would record the vocals. To understand better what "stripped-down" means in this context, listen to Let's Go. All of Speak Now started like Let's Go. Some of the demo instruments survived, and others were re-recorded by other musicians or overdubbed at a later date, between January 2010 and July 2010. Taylor's demo vocals ALL survived. They were not re-recorded.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] “With Speak Now, we deliberately went back to our initial way of working together. We had an unlimited budget, and could have gone and recorded the whole album in the Bahamas, used any studio we liked and whatever musicians we wanted. But we decided to bring it back to the basics on purpose, because we wanted to keep it about the music and our chemistry. [We were trying not] to over-compensate for the pressure we were feeling for a follow-up to Fearless. That's why we stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. So Taylor comes in, and plays me a song, and I chart it while listening to her. I then tap out a tempo, she hands me her guitar, I go into a recording booth, put on headphones, start the click‑track and hit record. She's hearing what I'm doing and singing along while she's in the control room, so I know where I am in the song. After that, I program the drums, usually using Superior Drummer in Logic. I play the drum parts on my Roland Fantom G6 keyboard, and then quantise. I then play the fills that I want to complete the drum part. After this I'll put down a bass part, and at this point we make sure we're really OK with the tempo and that we love the arrangement. I may add an electric guitar to make the track bigger, and then she'll go into the vocal booth and she'll sing the song three or four times. We may do a little bit of comping, but she executes these songs really well, and I don't want to mess with her takes too much. The audience wants to hear someone sing with real emotion. From there we'll listen to what we have and we'll maybe add some vocal harmonies and guitars, and I do a quick mix and she's out of the door.”

WRITING OF SPEAK NOW TIMELINE

November 2, 2006: Taylor writes Sparks Fly, after opening for Jake Owen in Portland, OR, on Halloween night. The secret message in the album booklet is Portland, Oregon. She will perform the song for the first time on April 6, 2007, in her native Reading PA.

[From MySpace] Happy Halloween! I'm sitting at the airport in Portland, Oregon... About to get on a red-eye flight (Oh yes, I just said red-eye. Meaning, all night. This should be interesting...)  to Toronto, Canada for another weekend of Rascal Flatts shows. Tonight was awesome. It was a show in Portland at a bar called Duke's, I opened up for Jake Owen. And a little back-story, I've had his album on repeat for the past couple of months... It's an amazing album and I literally cannot stop listening to it. I've got every line memorized, and if you see me on a plane.. Chances are, I'm listening to some song off that album, at a volume level that's probably going to cause long-term hearing damage someday. ANYWAY. I got to walk in on his sound check and meet him. Turns out he's extremely cool, and had bought my album on iTunes. :-) And since I had to leave after one song of his set, he played my favorite song "8 Second Ride" first. Which is another reason why he's awesome.

The writing date was leaked by Steve Hall from the IC on July 21, 2010. Since we didn't have the secret message yet, we didn't have any reason to believe it was written after the Jake Owen show. (thanks @backup-baby-backup!)

Original handwritten lyric sheet:

May 30, 2007: First performance of Sparks Fly in Oroville, CA. Steve Hall from the Inner Circle/Dark Blue Tennessee.com films it and posts it online.

Differences between the draft and the 2007 live version:

“You stand there in front of me” -> “you stood there in front of me”

“Get me with those brown eyes, baby” -> “get me with those green eyes, baby”

“Take your open hand and take me out” -> “reach out open-handed and lead me out”

“Dim the paper lanterns” -> “don’t need more paper lanterns”

“This night is the 31st” -> “my heart is beating fast”

“So let’s make it count now, baby” -> “I could wait patiently”

“I’ll run my fingers” -> “I run my fingers”

“And make no borderlines” -> “gonna strike this match tonight”

“Forgive me when I can’t take in everything you are” -> “and lead me up the staircase”

“You kissed me like you meant it, I swear I saw sparks” -> “I’d love to hate it, but you make it like a firework show”

There was also an additional section: We stood at the gate (and you kiss me) / With the moon on your face / And you’ll kiss me

September 2008: Taylor and Martin Johnson team up to write a diss track about Camilla Belle, called Drama Queen. This is one of the first steps in the Taylor-Joe-Camilla saga, which started with Forever & Always and Drama Queen and continued on Speak Now. There is no evidence that Drama Queen was considered for Speak Now, but for being an unreleased song, it made it as far as being mastered for the OG Fearless so it has to mean something. In my opinion, it would've taken Better Than Revenge's place, if BTR hadn't existed. Taylor talked about the Fearless mastering process on September 30th on MySpace: this song literally CANNOT be younger, since the mastering of a song is considered a legal document, necessary for copyright protection and the collection of royalties.

March 8, 2009: John Mayer tweets: "Waking up to this song idea that won't leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it's good enough to finish. It's called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song."

Taylor's answer: "I freaked out when I heard [it], because I’ve been such a big fan of John for such a long time. I’m really excited about just the idea that he would even mention me in his Twitter!”

March 13, 2009: [From her Twitter] [second source] "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

March 19, 2009: [From MySpace] ““I’m wiped out. I've been in the studio all day (I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

Speculation: One of the songs is possibly Mr. Perfectly Fine, since, as we know from Fearless TV, it was considered for Fearless Platinum. Maybe Haunted was also part of the same recording session. Haunted is the first Speak Now song to be copyrighted, so it has to be one of the first songs.

‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.

The secret message is: "Still to this day".

Early April 2009: Taylor and Martin Johnson from Boys Like Girls write If This Was A Movie.

Speculation: I think it was written in April just because of the lyric "six months gone and I'm still reaching" and Taylor and Joe Jonas had broken up six months before, in October.

Literally nothing else is known about this song.

April 23, 2009: The Fearless Tour starts in Evansville, Indiana. Taylor will write most of Speak Now while on tour.

May 22, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer perform White Horse and Your Body Is A Wonderland at the LA Staples Center.

May 23, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer record Half Of My Heart.

May 29, 2009: [From MySpace] “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks.

June 8, 2009: [From Twitter] "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: [From Twitter] "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

June 12, 2009: American publishes an interview with Taylor where she talks about her third album. The interview was probably done in April.

“There are definitely breakup songs on this record, but not too many. I like to balance out the amount of happy songs, breakup songs, sentimental songs, I-miss-you songs, angry songs. I don’t want to try and harp on the same emotion too much because I feel like if you make the ‘angry’ album, that’s going to lose people.”

June 16, 2009: the Jonas Brothers release their new album Lines, Vines and Trying Times, which includes a song called Much Better, that references Taylor:

I get a rep for breaking hearts / Now, I'm done with superstars / And all the tears on her guitar

This is likely the song that inspires Taylor to write Better Than Revenge, since the phrase "much better" is used multiple times in the song.

“The song "Better Than Revenge" is about a girl, who a few years ago, stole my boyfriend. I think she probably thought I forgot about it, but I didn't.”

Fun Fact: Joe Jonas changed the lyrics from "I'm done with superstars" to "I'm cool with superstars".

July 1, 2009: [From MySpace] “What else is new... Recording a bunch of new songs.”

One of them is possibly Better Than Revenge, maybe even Let's Go. Taylor seems still bitter about Joe leaving her.

July 11, 2009: Taylor writes on her diary about going to an antique shop. This is probably the inspiration for Timeless.

[Lover Journal] I just got back from a trip to Canada that was absolutely refreshing and good for the soul. I never really knew what a good thing having no cell or internet could be. But it was a great thing. I did things a little differently up there, and I actually liked it. I started reading self-help books. It’s really uplifting knowing that you can change your life today, tomorrow … just by doing a few things you never thought of. Or doing things differently than you’ve done them before. New things I adopted from a self help book: Get up early. Keep your cool. Don’t tee off on people you love. Laugh more. You can control your moods. Create a love account and make deposits, in other words, show people that you love them. Another new hobby of mine is ….. antique stores. And not just neat, organized antique stores. I really like the ones where there’s so much crap to dig through, you can find absolute treasures for nothing. I went to 2 antique stores in Saskatchewan, and one today in Winnipeg. I bought all these old glass mason jars. I’m gonna use them for candle holders. I bought old scales and watch faces and chairs and old trunks and a bird cage and 2 lamps.

July 21, 2009: [From Twitter] Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure. Album #3.

July 2009: Based on a Lover Journal, I think that Taylor wrote Never Grow Up in July 2009.

Handwritten Lyrics From a Lover Journal:

‘Never Grow Up’ is a song about the fact that I don’t quite know how I feel about growing up. It’s tricky. Growing up happens without you knowing it. Growing up is such a crazy concept because a lot of times when you were younger you wish you were older. I look out into a crowd every night and I see a lot of girls that are my age and going through exactly the same things as I’m going through. Every once in a while I look down and I see a little girl who is seven or eight, and I wish I could tell her all of this. There she is becoming who she is going to be and forming her thoughts and dreams and opinions. I wrote this song for those little girls.

[Nathan Chapman Interview] “The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours.”

September 6, 2009: Taylor announces Fearless Platinum Edition on MySpace, out on October 26, 2009. It includes Jump Then Fall, which was originally written in the summer of 2008, while Taylor was dating Joe Jonas. The secret message of the song is "Last Summer Was Magical". It seems like Taylor doesn't harbor bitter feelings toward Joe anymore.

“We just put out Fearless last year? I know! We’re not putting out a whole new album. We’re re-releasing Fearless with SIX new songs added. I’m so excited for you to hear this new music, see the new pictures, and watch the 50 million hours of bonus content. I love you a lot and I’ll see you on the road!”

September 13, 2009: New York. Night of the VMA incident, where Kanye West interrupts Taylor while she's accepting the Best Music Video Award for You Belong With Me. Taylor starts writing Innocent shortly after.

Based on the themes of the song and on the fact that, according to the booklet, it was written in 2009, I think that Castles Crumbling was also inspired by the VMA incident.

[GQ] “When the crowd started booing, I thought they were booing because they also believed I didn’t deserve the award. That’s where the hurt came from. I went backstage and cried, and then I had to stop crying and perform five minutes later. I just told myself I had to perform, and I tried to convince myself that maybe this wasn’t that big of a deal. But that was the most happenstance thing to ever happen in my career.”

September 15, 2009 (morning): Taylor is still in New York doing interviews, like The View with Whoopy Goldberg. Taylor says that she bought her own condo in Nashville. Unsurprisingly, the main topic is the VMA incident.

September 15, 2009 (night): Taylor attends Owl City's show in New York. She and Adam Young (aka Owl City) had exchanged emails in the previous months. She writes Enchanted after their meeting.

[MTV Interview] “I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back, because it was just this positive, wistful feeling of ‘I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you.’ Using the word ‘wonderstruck’ [in the lyrics] was done on purpose, because that’s a word which that person used one time in an e-mail... so I purposely wrote it in the song, so he would know.”

[Adam Young Interview] When Young met the 21-year-old music superstar backstage at one of his shows in New York, he was starstruck. "She was on her way up to meet me and that was the most nerve-racking few minutes of my life just waiting to meet Taylor Swift," he says. "When I met her she was glowing and I was too. It's hard to put into words, but I was definitely wonderstruck to meet her." Unfortunately for Young, nothing ever progressed beyond emails and one fateful meeting. "I think I'm not the most romantic and eloquent guy in the world," he admits. "She's just this endearing, wonderful girl and maybe I said something wrong. Who knows. It went on for three or four months, something like that."

Speculation: I think that the first verse of Enchanted is a reference to the View interview that Taylor did that morning.

September 26, 2009: While touring in Little Rock, Arkansas, with Kellie Pickler and Gloriana, Taylor writes a song, possibly Last Kiss.

“The song ‘Last Kiss’ is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a break-up. Going through a break-up you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song.”

[Drummer Nick Buda on the recording of Last Kiss, recorded in mid 2010 circa] On "Last Kiss," South African-born Nick Buda said there was an air of real excitement when they were recording the album. “She is awesome to work with and super-appreciative of her players. There was a real chemistry involved in this record.” Their desire to get exactly the sound they wanted extended to changing Buda’s modern drum kit to a vintage one on some choruses in order to get a different tone from some of the bombastic “teenage rock band” sound. “The songs were so well written that very rarely did they go past a third take,” he said.

The secret message is "Forever And Always".

October 17, 2009: [From Twitter] Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 7, 2009: Taylor sings "Monologue Song (La La La) at the SNL, where she mentions her breakup with Joe and dating Taylor Lautner.

November 30, 2009: Taylor tweets: “If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five...”

Late November/Early December 2009: Taylor writes Ours and possibly Superman. Maybe they're the songs Taylor was talking about in the tweet.

[People Country] “I wrote [Ours] when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember. [I won't say who inspired it], to me, the song says something bigger, which is "I love you, and I don't care what anyone else thinks."”

(About Ours) “I’m excited about telling the beginnings of stories, like the story of this song called ‘Ours,’ where I wrote it about this guy nobody thought I should be with. So I wrote this song specifically just to play it for him, just to show him, ‘I don’t care what anyone says. I don’t care that you have tattoos. I don’t care that you have a gap between your teeth. I love you for who you are.’ And that song ended up actually making it on [Speak Now] and becoming a #1 song.”

That's how Taylor broke down the lyrics for People in April 2012:

“Seems like there’s always someone who disapproves” -> "I felt like I was on a tightrope. I knew that falling in love with the wrong person could freak people out."

“So don’t you worry your pretty little mind” -> "A lot of people have pretty little heads, but it's difficult to find a pretty little mind."

“People throw rocks at things that shine” -> "I kind of made up the phrase. It has a nursery rhyme feel, which I like."

“The stakes are high, the water's rough” -> "Those are the first lines that came to me."

“Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles” -> "It stereotypes girls who that pretend they're happy for your and are not."

“I'll fight their doubt and give you faith with this song for you” -> "My realization of what we were up against came out in that line. I was desperate to make it work."

“Cause I love the gap between your teeth” -> "My favorite part of the song. It's symbolic of "I love your idiosyncrasies."

“And any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos” -> "My dad thinks that this line is hilarious. He loves to tease me."

[About Superman] “This is about, well, a guy, as usual. This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with. This song got its title by something that I just said randomly in conversation. When he walked out of the room, I turned to one of my friends and said, ‘It’s like watching Superman fly away.’”

Dear John's secret message is "I Loved You From The Very First Day", which is a line from Superman.

The song also includes the line "Wishing the flowers were from you", which may or may not be the same flowers mentioned in Back To December ("You gave me roses and I left them there to die").

Gossip Speculation: This makes me think that Taylor was never deeply in love with Taylor L (-> "And I realised I loved you in the fall") and she left Taylor L for John Mayer (-> "And if you'd never saved me from boredom, I would've gone on as I was")

December 6, 2009: [From MySpace] “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day...”

December 11, 2009: Taylor and John Mayer perform Half Of My Heart at the Z100 Jingle Bell Ball concert in New York. After this concert, rumors of them dating surface.

December 13, 2009: Taylor turns 20.

December 22, 2009: [From Twitter] "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 11, 2010: [From Twitter] "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless. Home-made cupcakes were brought. Awkward fist-pumps happened. Onward!"

January 13, 2010: [From MySpace] Thank you January. I have had this month off. [...] I've written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother's birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I've gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I've made new music. I've gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. So thank you for giving me so much to be thankful for this January. Thank you beyond what I know how to say.

[From Twitter] "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

[Music News.com Interview] “The weirdest place I have ever written a song is probably in an airport, and I got an idea so fast that I had to run to the bathroom at the airport, grab a paper towel and write lyrics on the paper towel. I still have it. I still have it in a box in my room.”

“Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

January 2010: It's possible that one of the songs recorded during the January session was Speak Now.

[MTV Interview] "One of my friends... the guy she had been in love with since childhood was marrying this other girl," she said. "And my first inclination was to say, 'Well, are you gonna speak now?' And then I started thinking about what I would do if I was still in love with someone who was marrying someone who they shouldn't be marrying. And so I wrote this song about exactly what my game plan would be."

“This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he’s getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, ‘So, you gonna speak now?’ She was like, ‘What do you mean?’ And I was like ‘Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I’ll go with you. I’ll play guitar. It would be great.’ She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding.���

The secret message for Speak Now is “You always regret what you don’t say.”

In January 2010, things are starting to get serious. Taylor, Nathan and the rest of the group, are at the Starstruck Recording Studio to finish up some songs.

Mid January 2010: In a Rolling Stone interview, Taylor confirms she has already recorded some songs.

“‘I’ll be moving out, living on my own, experiencing relationships,’ she says. ‘All of that will be documented in sort of a photo-album-slash-diary, which will be this next record.’ I’ve written so much for this next record and recorded a bunch of songs already, but I don’t want to give away any of the titles – it’s still too early in the process. I don’t really write for albums as much as I just write for my life and process what I feel, whether that feeling is resentment or hope or happiness or a crush — writing songs helps me get through those moments.”

January 31, 2010: Taylor wins her first AOTY for Fearless at the 52nd Grammy Awards.

February 1, 2010: Bob Lefsetz posts his particularly negative review of her performance with Stevie Nicks at the Grammy's. Mean was likely written shortly after.

“When you do what I do, which is you put yourself out there for a lot of people to say whatever they want about it, there are a million different opinions from a million different people. I get it that not everyone is going to like everything that you do, and I get that no matter what, you’re going to be criticized for something. But I also get that there are different kinds of ways to criticize someone. There is constructive criticism. There’s professional criticism. And then, there’s just being mean. There’s a line that you cross when you just start to attack everything about a person, and there’s one guy who just crossed the line over and over again. Just being mean, and saying things that would ruin my day. […] There’s always going to be someone who’s just mean to you. Dealing with that is all you can control about that situation, how you handle it. ‘Mean’ is about how I handle it, and sort of my mindset about this whole situation.”

"There's a song called 'Mean,' that I guess you could categorize it into feelings and or relationships but it's actually about a critic."

In a later interview with 60 Minutes, Swift revealed that the critic was someone who attacked her performance with Stevie Nicks at the 52nd Grammy Awards, where she sang off-key.

February 3, 2010: Taylor writes Mean.

[InDemand] "There's a song on the record called Mean. I remember I started writing it sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it. Then I took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night, and finishing it in the dressing room.

I'm inferring the date but Taylor went to Australia on February 4th, so that's the closest date to the Bob Lefsetz's post. Alternatively, the other closest date is February 17th.

February 4, 2010: John Mayer is interviewed for Rolling Stone, and a friend of his says: "Nothing is what it seems. He operates in layers of meaning, where a poop joke is so much more than a poop joke. And he’d be a phenomenal chess player, because he knows all the moves so many steps ahead. That’s just how he operates.” (-> "And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules every day.")

February 5, 2010: Josh Farro from Paramore announces his engagement. Since he specifies that some people already knew about it, it is safe to assume that Hailey Williams, his ex-girlfriend and bandmate, knew before this date about it. Taylor's interviews imply that they were talking about the engagement, not the wedding.

I've got some news to share with you guys so here it goes... As some of you already know, I am engaged! So, as weird as it is to stay behind, I need to take some time off to plan the wedding and everything.

February 11, 2010: Taylor Lautner's birthday. Taylor doesn't call him, as she confessed in Back To December.

February 13, 2010: Based on a Lover Journal entry from this day, it seems like Taylor and John were no longer dating. Dear John must've been written around this period.

[Lover Journal, Flight from Adelaide to Nashville]: “My horoscope said today someone new is going to come into the picture and change my life in an exciting way. PLUS, its the 13th so it has to be true. Right? Right Well, I don't see it happening in the form of meeting someone. Maybe I'll get an email or a call. From someone fantastic and life changing. Or maybe I won't. That's more likely. I've been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it's just right. I don't know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it's there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep MY attention for 2 years.”

“The song ‘Dear John’ is sort of like the last email you would ever send to someone that you used to be in a relationship with. Usually people write this venting last email to someone and they say everything that they want to say to that person, and then they usually don’t send it. I guess by putting this song on the album I am pushing send.”

February 22, 2010: [From MySpace] “I’ve been writing lots of songs.”

March 10, 2010: Taylor writes Mine.

[InDemand] "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually."

According to three different Reddit sources, Taylor was dating a non famous guy from Belmont University. The coffee shop referenced in Mine is a coffee shop in Austin, TX, by the water called Mozart's.

“This is a situation where a guy that I just barely knew put his arm around me by the water, and I saw the entire relationship flash before my eyes, almost like a weird science-fiction movie. After I wrote the song, things sort of fell apart, as things so often do. And I hadn’t talked to him in a couple months. And the song came out, and that day, I got an e-mail from him. And I was like, ‘Yes!’ Because that one was sort of half-confession and half-prediction or projection of what I saw.”

“Lately I’ve had this bad habit of running away from love. Kind of getting to the place where it’s about to commit, and then you just, like, run in the opposite direction. ‘Mine’ is about the idea that I could find someone who would be the exception to that, someone who would be so sturdy and so much of a sure thing that I wouldn’t run from it. Sometimes I look back on a lot of examples that I’ve seen of love, long term, and a lot of times it doesn’t work out. There are goodbyes and people get really hurt, so I tend to be a little ‘run-awayish.’ But I’m never past hoping that at some point that could change. This song is the first single because it has this… There was this moment between Nathan [Chapman] and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, ‘This is it. This is the one.’”

[Nathan Chapman interview] “The demo for 'Mine' took less than five hours to record, and sounded almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on [until July], and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world.”

[Scott Borchetta Billboard Interview] "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office, just a few doors down the hall from the leather couch in the lobby.

"We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments." And then it got serious. "I said, ‘Keep going,’ " Borchetta says. "She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’"

Taylor will talk about being challenged by Borchetta to write more for Speak Now during the Red Era:

“During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album's finished,' he said, 'No, it's not -- you need to keep writing.'”

Early March 2010: According to Scott Borchetta, shortly after he challenged Taylor to write more, she finishes writing Innocent, which she had started 6 months prior.

"Innocent," written after the VMA incident with Kanye West, for example, didn't come to Swift quickly. "Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with 'Innocent.'

“It took a while to write that song," Swift says. "That was a huge, intense thing in my life that resonated for a long time. It was brought up to me in grocery stores and everywhere I went, and in a lot of times in my life, when I don’t know how I feel about something, I say nothing. And that’s what I did until I could come to the conclusion that I came to in order to write ‘Innocent,’ " she says. "Even then, I didn’t talk about it, and I still don’t really talk about it. I just thought it was very important for me to sing about it.”

March 24, 2010: Taylor has lunch with Taylor Lautner. This meeting is likely what inspires Back To December. (thanks to @backup-baby-backup for locating the article)

[Interview Clip] Transcript: “‘Back To December’ is a song that addresses a first for me, in that I’ve never apologized to someone in a song before. This is about a person who was incredible to me- just perfect in a relationship, and I was really careless with him. So, this is a song full of words that I would say to him that he deserves to hear.”

[CBS Interview] She explained in the interview that she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she revealed. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

April 3, 2010: Paramore's member Josh Farro marries Jenna Rice. Taylor attends the ceremony. She also goes to the studio in the morning.

[From Twitter] "Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules."

April 13, 2010: Taylor comes up with the title "Speak Now" after Scott Borchetta rejects "Enchanted". She also writes in her journal about getting tired of songs.

[From a Lover Journal] “So I've been obsessing over the new records to the point where it's all I can focus on. I'm majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I've raised the bar and I can beat half of the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn't talk about it in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I've been silent about so much that I'm saying on this album. It's time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!”

[Scott Borchetta Interview] “At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,'” Big Machine president/CEO Scott Borchetta said. “We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I‘m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called ‘Enchanted.'” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the “Speak Now” title, which comes closer to representing the evolution that the album represents in her career and in her still-young understanding of the world.

June 5, 2010: End of the Fearless Tour. Around this week, Taylor writes Long Live, scrabbling the chorus in her journal.

“This song is about my band, and my producer, and all the people who have helped us build this brick by brick. The fans, the people who I feel that we are all in this together, this song talks about the triumphant moments that we’ve had in the last two years. We’ve had times where we just jump up and down, and dance like we don’t care how we’re dancing, and just scream at the top of our lungs, “How is this happening?” And, I feel very lucky to even have had one of those moments, nonetheless all the ones that I got to have. ‘Long Live’ is about how I feel reflecting on it. This song for me is like looking at a photo album of all the award shows, and all the stadium shows, and all the hands in the air in the crowd. It’s sort of the first love song that I’ve written to my team.”

“"Long Live," (in parentheses "We Will Be Remembered"), is the first song where I've ever had parentheses in the title. Besides that, though, this song is about my band, and my producer, and all the people who have helped us build this brick by brick. The fans, the people who I feel that we are all in this together, this song talks about the triumphant moments that we've had in the last two years. We've had times where we just jump up and down, and dance like we don't care how we're dancing, and just scream at the top of our lungs, "How is this happening?" And, I feel very lucky to even have had one of those moments, nonetheless all the ones that I got to have. "Long Live" is about how I feel reflecting on it. This song for me is like looking at a photo album of all the award shows, and all the stadium shows, and all the hands in the air in the crowd. It's sort of the first love song that I've written to my team.”

June 9, 2010: Night of the CMT Music Awards, held in Nashville. 'CMT Music Awards' is the secret message of The Story Of Us.

“‘The Story of Us’ is about running into someone I had been in a relationship with at an awards show, and we were seated a few seats away from each other. I just wanted to say to him, ‘Is this killing you? Because it’s killing me.’ But I didn’t. But I couldn’t. Because we both had these silent shields up. I went home and I sat there at the kitchen table and I said to my mom, ‘I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.’ Then I got up and ran into my bedroom, as she’s seen me do many times. And she probably assumed I had come up with a line in the song.”

“'The Story of Us' is a song that I wrote about an awkward situation where, well… Let me just preface by saying that I have happened to run into exes in strange places lately. This is about one of those situations where the strange place that I ran into him was an awards show. I was seated a couple of seats away from him and there was so much that needed to be said, and neither one of us was willing to say it. We were both acting like we were engaged in conversations with people that we don't even know. It was just miserable. I was telling my Mom about it later, and I said I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room. And then I was like, "Gotta go. Bye!" And my Mom is used to that at this point so, that's what this song is about.”

June 13, 2010: Taylor premiers Mine during the 13-hour Meet & Greet at the CMA Music Festival. Fans ask a lot of questions about Sparks Fly.

“'Sparks Fly' is a song I wrote a few years ago and played in concert. You guys have learned it and I think like it, which makes me really happy. When we did the 13-hour Meet and Greet at the CMA Fest, there was a comment I got over and over again. You guys were saying, 'So what about 'Sparks Fly?' Is it going to be on the next record? [...] I played that song at maybe one or two shows, and you guys just jumped on it and really made it something that I had to put on the album because you really showed interest in it.”

Comparison between the 2007 live version and the final one:

First verse: You say my name for the first time, baby, and I fall in love in an empty bar -> You’re the kind of reckless that should send me runnin’, but I kinda know that I won’t get far.

Second verse: So reach out open-handed and lead me out to that floor / I don’t need more paper lanterns / Take me down, baby / Bring on the movie score / ‘Cause my heart is beating fast and you are beautiful / And I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would... -> My mind forgets to remind me you’re a bad idea / You touch me once and it’s really somethin’ / You find I’m even better than you imagined I would be / I’m on my guard for the rest of the world / But with you, I know it’s no good / And I could wait patiently, but I really wish you would…

Bridge: Just keep your beautiful eyes on me / Gonna strike this match tonight / And lead me up the staircase / Won't you whisper soft and slow / I’d love to hate it, but you make it like a firework show -> Just keep on keepin’ your eyes on me, it’s just wrong enough to make it feel right / And lead me up the staircase / Won't you whisper soft and slow / I'm captivated by you, baby I’m captivated by you baby, like a fireworks show.

Speculation: I think that the line "I'm on my guard from the rest of the world" from Sparks Fly being written after "And you figure out why I'm guarded" from Mine is very telling of what Taylor was going through.

June 16, 2010: [From a Lover Journal] After the CMT Music Awards, Taylor works on The Story Of Us for a few days, before finishing it on June 16th, on her way to Nathan Chapman's studio.

[MTV Interview] “I was at an awards show, and there was a guy there, obviously — it all starts there, doesn’t it? It was a guy I had been in a relationship with, falling out, then we end up at the same awards show, both trying to act like we don’t care, both like, you know, chatting up the people next to us. Afterward, I just felt so empty, like we were both fighting this silent war of pretending we didn’t care that the other was there. And I went home, and I wrote this song about it. And at that point, I had this gut feeling, and I knew the album was finished.”

[Lover Journal Page Transcript] “So I've been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning, throw on a sundress, skip makeup, tie my hair in a messy side-braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I'll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car three steps to Nathan's basement studio. I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan's this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort a torn sounding... like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you know the person you're pining away for is in the room. There are these invisible walls keeping things from being okay. So you're not fine. And they're not fine. And I'm happy I wrote that song!! :)”

Video: Making of The Story Of Us Demo

It will be the last song she writes before having a writer's block that will end 6 months later with All Too Well.

[USA Today Interview] [All Too Well] came after a six-month writing drought that followed a particularly toxic relationship. "There's a kind of bad that gets so overpowering you can't even write about it," she says of that time. "When you feel pain that is so far past dysfunctional, that leaves you with so many emotions that you can't filter them down to simple emotions to write about, that's when you know you really need to get out."

June 18, 2010: John Mayer presents Taylor with the Hal David Starlight Award, at the 41st Songwriters Hall of Fame Awards.

John's speech: “You could put her in a time machine in any era and she would have a hit record. Don't confuse everybody loving one thing as hype. Sometimes that's everyone agreeing that it's fabulous.”

From now on, Taylor will only focus on the production of Speak Now, tweaking the songs and overdubbing the instruments.

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets about Amos Heller recording the bass on Mine at the Blackbird Studio. Clips from this day are also released.

July 8, 2010: Taylor is spotted in Maine, while filming the music video of Mine. The final mix of the song is not ready yet.

[Source] Taylor Swift was in Kennebunk today, July 8, shooting part of a new music video at Christ Church on Dane Street. The Rev. Janet Leighninger, pastor of Christ Church said they had been contacted a while ago by a company that scouts film locations and happened to check the church out one Sunday. “Then they called about a week ago and said could they possibly film here,” she said. Leighninger said she was told it would be a country artist shooting a music video, but not who the artist was. “We wanted to make sure it was appropriate,” she said. On the morning of the shoot, Leighninger discovered the artist was Swift.

[People who were there] "It was a blast to watch! Both Taylor and the guy in her video seemed to be having tons of fun and at one point where he proposes and they kissed he looked up at the camera crew and said 'She said no by the way.' The scene lasted about 30 minutes and then they started filming in the house again."

[Mixer Justin Niebank Interview] "Interestingly enough, I'd done some kind of pre‑mix of 'Mine' for a video thing, with the original drums and bass, and Nathan and Taylor were like: 'This is cool, but we want to go a little bit more for a power approach.' So by the time it got to the final mix they had rerecorded the bass and the drums and it sounded great.

The rough version of the final mix is called "Mine JN Master Mix", where JN stands for Justin Niebank. You can also see "SF" which stands for Shannon Forest, the drummer. The old stems played by Nathan are also visible.

To sum up all of the known Mine demos:

First demo: Recorded in March 2010; all instruments played by Nathan Chapman; Mixed by Nathan.

Second demo: Mixed in June 2010, made for the Music Video; all instruments still played by Nathan Chapman; Mixed by Justin Niebank.

Third demo: Called "JN Master Mix": Mixed on July 21, 2010, bass played by Amos Heller, drums played by Shannon Forest, mixed by Justin Niebank, mix ready or almost ready to be mastered.

July 15, 2010: Taylor and Toby Hemingway are spotted shopping in West Hollywood. This is also the day when the orchestra strings for Back To December and Haunted are recorded, arranged by Paul Buckmaster. Taylor's interview in the studio here.

“I wanted the music and the orchestration [for Haunted] to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience – recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for.”

Late July 2010: In the meantime, Justin Niebank completes the definitive mixes. Mine is completed on July 21st specifically.

[Nathan Chapman] For Speak Now we had to mix 17 songs in three weeks, and I knew that I would want to go back to tweak some of the songs we had mixed earlier, and I did not want to have to recall the mixing board every time. There just wasn't time for that.

July 2010: Taylor moves out to her own condo in Nashville.

“This summer I've been 99 percent focused on my new record and one percent focused on the fact that I actually just moved into my first place. I'm officially moved in! I'm so excited! As you know, I've been constantly talking about how I've been antique shopping and non-stop planning and construction on this place. It's been really awesome to figure out what it's like to be on your own, just cooking and stuff. I'm having such a blast with it.”

The Never Grow Up secret message is: "I moved out in July".

July 2010: Shooting of the Speak Now Photoshoot with her band, The Agency.

August 4, 2010: Mine is released. It was supposed to be released on August 15th, but since it had leaked its release was anticipated.

August 31, 2010: The Mine Music Video is released. Taylor has a get-together at her home in Nashville with the kids in the video and their families.

Taylor broke down the music video in 2012 in this very funny interview for Vevo Certified;

Behind The Scenes Footage: PART 1, PART 2, PART 3 from the Speak Now Deluxe Edition/Target. This is very unhinged.

[Director Roman White comment] Creating this piece was beyond fun, and I’ve honestly never had a better time on a shoot. Was it crazy hot? Yes. Were there tons of bugs? Yes. Was all of this offset by the insanely gorgeous scenery? 100% YES! We shot the entire piece near Portland, Maine and much lobster was eaten! My AMAZING producer, Tameron Hedge, actually got accosted by a HUGE seagull who took off with her lobster roll (that’s how good they were). Other than that one little incident, Maine was absolute perfection. On the first day, we shot on a private estate with more than 2,000 acres and a private beach, rounding out the second day in a small harbor town. There was a lot going on, and I had a BLAST with the entire gang!

September 12, 2010: Taylor premiers Innocent at the VMAs, a year after the Kanye incident.

“You have to try really hard to regulate what you feel, what you let in, and what you don’t… but then when it comes to making an album, if you make everything general and kind of gloss over your actual, raw feelings, that doesn’t benefit anyone. As far as what to feel and what level to feel it, I can’t really control any of that. It’s just how things hit you, and what you let in is definitely something you’ve got to find a balance for.”

“I think a lot of people expected me to write a song about him. But for me it was important to write a song to him.”

October 25, 2010: Speak Now is finally released.

“There is also the fact that the album is called 'Speak Now,' and that pertains to the album as a concept and as an entire theme of the record, more than I can even tell you," she says. "I've been working on it for two years. Ever since we put out 'Fearless,' I've been writing for this record and conceptualizing it and putting it together in my head, what I wanted it to be. I like to take a lot of time between albums to work up the next one and see what it is. We did the same thing with 'Fearless.' We put two years in between it [and her self-titled debut album] and that gives enough time for me [to] write everything that I live. You have got to give yourself time to live a lot of things, so you can write a lot of things.”

“I wrote all the songs myself for this record. It didn't really happen on purpose. It just sort of happened that way. I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York; that would happen again in Boston; that would happen again in Nashville. The songs that made the cut for the albums are the ones that I wrote by myself so – wish me luck!”

“In life you have a lot of situations that pop up and people that come into your life, and sometimes you don’t get to tell them what you wish you would have told them,” Swift said. “This album is my opportunity to do that track-by-track. Each song is a different confession to a different person.”

“Some of the things I wrote about are things everyone saw me go through,” she added. “Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about. I’m beyond excited for you to hear these stories and confessions.”

Bonus: The Vault

“My favorite thing to do is make a list of what the album can be, even when I'm in the beginning stages of writing the album and I've got three songs on the list. I still make a list of what the track listing would be like. Which [song] is track one, two or three. And then you keep writing more songs and writing more songs and all of a sudden you've got a list of 25 songs. What I would do is keep bumping off songs that I felt I had overwritten. As you keep writing more songs, your list gets better and better and better. And I did that so many times I can't even count!”

The Vault Titles:

Castles Crumbling

Someone Just Told Me

His Lies

Wonderful Things

I Can See You

Let's Go

Foolish One

Timeless

Bother Me

Electric Touch

When Emma Falls In Love

All of them are self-written.

This post will be edited once we will have additional info on the songs, especially the Vault Songs. Thank you for reading!

#taylor swift #speak now #writing of speak now timeline #speak now taylor's version #taylurking #speak now vault #vault songs #speak now tv #taylor swift timelines

[bibliophilea]

The Real Wes (westonwes): Phenton stole my camera. Again. And before you guys harp on about how I spelled Fenton (aka Phantom), you should ask yourselves - why does he keep stealing my camera??? 🤔 #CantHaveShitInAmityPark

Paulina Pink (paulinareina) replying to westonwes: Obviously it’s bc you keep harassing the man. You need to let go. #ratioed

Da Baxter Man (bashdaxter) replying to westonwes: It’s cuz ur a dweeb next question #ratioed

Bunny Year Yeet (thekwanster) replying to westonwes: Hahahahaha get #ratioed Wes XD

Phenton (phantomofap) replying to westonwes: Yeah Wes get #ratioed lmao

Fantom (spaceboi61) replying to westonwes: lol get #ratioed

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Too Fine TM (friartuck) replying to westonwes: Yeah dude this is just sad XD #ratioed

My Man Dale (dalenchip) replying to westonwes: The geeks are right, quit while your behind lol #ratioed

Valerie Gallery (grayskies) replying to westonwes: Come on Wes, this is getting old. #ratioed

Red Huntress (huntressred) replying to westonwes: Leave the Fenton kid out of it, Weston. You’re a danger to yourself and to him. #ratioed

Jazz F (jasmineblossom) replying to westonwes: Wes, don’t you think you’ve harassed my brother enough? You know, therapy is for everyone. #ratioed

#danny phantom #phandom phight club #phandom phight club 23 #wes weston #lol wes get ratioed #wes #paulina #dash #kwan #phantom #danny #sam #tucker #dale #valerie #XXD #bib write #not a q

[thenotsoholyspirit]

Holding pt 3

(Here for part 1-2)

Matt murdock x reader (angst)

Summary: A little talk with the right man ends up revealing more than the necessary information.

(I pushed myself to give it more action and context, so forgive me if the timeline is not quite accurate for season 3. There's a lot of mention of catholic related topics too if you're not comfortable with that . Either way hope you enjoy it and thanks for all the support ❤️✨️)

◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•◇•

It didn't take much time for the announcement of the release of the Kinpin to become all journals headlines.

As I go down my building heading for work, the first thing I notice are the newspapers laying downstairs the entry.

"FEDERAL COURT HEARS FISK APPEAL"

I stare dumbfounded.

Even if I have promised myself to keep my distance from Matt, I immediately feel the urge to go and find him as I'm more than aware of all the trouble this criminal has brought upon the devil of Hells kitchen and the place itself.

I look at my phone. It's almost six in the morning. I still have time before heading down the veterinary.

I'm unsure where to go first as he would surely no longer be at the Law Firm. Even my instinct to give Foggy a call is quickly refrained as I remember what he told me about our last talk.

What have you gotten yourself into this time, Matty.

Suddenly, I hear the usual resounding ring from the church's bells down the drive. From both corners of the sidewalk, I see small groups of people enter the place, the usual morning crowd.

How didn't I think about it before

Before I can lose more time, I run down the street, calling the closest taxi.

....

"As we say this, we bless ourselves three times by making a small cross on our-"

Clinton Church wouldn't exactly be the first place most people would go to if they were in the search of a devil dressed like a vigilante, yet as soon as I timidly open its door, the familiar incense smell and gothic columns reassure me that I've come to the right place. 

As I come in, I quickly go sit on one of the empty seats from the back. Father Lantom has already started the mass. 

I can not let myself but let a small smile leave my lips. It's been such a long time since I've last been here. 

While vaguely hearing the Father talk, memories of long ago lived moments fill through my mind. Small snippets of my old life.

“May almighty God bless you, the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”  

I raise my head up when I hear the priest pronounce his final lines. This was it. 

Thankfully, not many people want to talk to him this morning, as most leave or simply stay in the right corner where the prayer candles softly illuminate the walls. I get lost for a moment, staring at the wavy shadows.

“Aren't they pretty... Some may take them as nothing else than silly good omens, but I'd rather see them as a representation of hope. People always need hope...."

I turn around, noticing Father Fantom looking at me curiously. I'm quite surprised he has noticed me. He invites me to sit down.

"I wasn't expecting to see you this morning miss (y/n), ” he chuckles slightly, "A bit late to mass although"

"I... I don't want to take too much of your time sir, but I need to know if you've well-," I try to smile, feeling quite vulnerable all out of the sudden "Seen or heard anything about Matt"

His face suddenly turns more serious, yet he barely looks surprised.

Is it this obvious

"That may depend on your own answer, miss.. I haven't seen you in quite a long time"

I nod, understanding his peak in curiosity.

"I know...." I look down the floor. "It's not like him and me are exactly on talking terms neither"

"(Y/n)... Matthew came here late last night searching for some answers , " he stares at the statue of Jesus placed beside the altar. "These are difficult times for him.. He needs some guidance..."

Father Lantom sighs softly as he shakes his head

"And some hope too....and I'm not just necessarily talking about his extracurricular activities...."

"I understand that." I nod sternly, knowing that something was different from his last visit. "But I'm not sure I'm in the best position to be of any help, neither ."

Im not sure why Im being so open with him, but I guess the serious yet caring tone of Father Lantom invites me to be more honest. I continue talking

"I'm not sure if I'm strong enough"

He gently gives me a tap on the shoulder.

"I'm not requesting you to forgive him (y/n)... that's an answer only your heart can give..." He tries to keep a reassuring tone, "I just worry of what he may push himself to do"

Suddenly, the silence of the church feels heavier. I rethink of the news. It just clicks in my head

"Don't tell me.... Don't tell me he wants to take care of Fisk on his own "

"He didn't mention-.."

But I interrumpt him, understanding now Matt's logic. His anger, his guilt.

I get it just.. just why

"No.. He can't .. he can not do that.... He.."

"This city is already dangerous as it is (y/n)." Father Lantom looks at me with worry. He seems to have understood my own intentions, too. "It's not the time to play even more precarious games right now"

But I can't. I need to stop him before it's too late.

I look at my phone again. It's already eight.

Guess I better call off sick

"I gotta go"

I immediately jump on my feet. I give a last look to Father Lantom and the candles.

If everything ends up all right, I may give a chance to one of those.

"(y/n)!"

I hear his call, but I decide to ignore him as I step outside. I cannot wait.

There was no time to lose.

#matt murdock x reader #netflix daredevil #daredevil x reader #daredevil x reader angst #matt murdock x reader angst #matt murdock

[callofdudes]

I shall quote an actually fucking tweet I saw replying to that certain someone from twitter;

“I agree. Although there is also a lot Ghost x Soap art that I enjoy, I feel like us straight girls are a bit underrepresented in this fantom. So I'm happy to see some CoD x fem content, too.”

Ummm….what the fuck???

They complain about not seeing enough AFAB! Reader X COD (which there is!) but from the look on @makarovmw twitter page they are not only a porn addict but someone who fetishizes MWM relationships given their reposts and likes.

Honestly this is all just exhausting; let people write ‘X CoD’ with a fem or a male or non-binary or trans reader as long as it’s not harmful.

You don’t see enough of a certain kind of ‘X CoD’ that you want to see and like? Write/draw it yourself or commission it, why bully and harass people online?

Not enough female reader.... female content in general - there is LOTS of representation.

I don't go seeking out smut but I can say without a shadow of a fucking doubt a lot of content, fanart, audios, clips, even tiktoks are geared for the female audience.

Because, and I'll say it again, A MAJORITY OF THIS FANDOM NOW ARE PEOPLE WHO JUST JUMPED IN AND HAVE NEVER PLAYED THE GAME.

And they know that. And they can use that. Male representation when it comes to x readers/audio/art what have you is hugely down the tunnel and isn't made as often unless it's pure smut. So if anything the guys need more of their own content if that's what they want.

And maybe... Just maybe one of the reasons ghostsoap is so popular because they have chemistry. They've been a thing since the OG trilogy but it hasn't come out as popular until their interactions skyrocketed.

People like them because they watched/or played the game, saw them, and took them in. They're tangible and they're pretty darn freaking cute 😤

They're brothers, down for the long haul and that's something people can cling on to easier than x readers. But yeah... In this fandom, and in any fandom really, there is never a shortage of female representation with the men.

So that certain someone needs to get off their ass. But yeah... Strange things happen in this fandom, and sadly, every fandom. But that's just wack

#simon ghost riley #call of duty #john soap mactavish #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 3

[icedghostlatte]

I was tagged by @kaezer!!! Thanks for the tag! They have nice dragon art hehe

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

This is going to be a mess for me, an artist writer. Here we go.

— '' WHEN THE LIGHTS FLICKER'' (fic)

— ILLUSTRATION 46 (art)

— '' Unnamed ficlet '' (fic)

— '' ECTOLOCATION'' (fic)

— DOODLE (art)

— ILLUST 32 (art)

This is very vague, i know, i am aware. But this is all I got... I'm speed when it comes to wips

Tagging!! I DON'T HAVE THAT MANY PEOPLE IN THIS ACC UH tagging be upon ye @drawinggheys @harleyshahas @ashgunnywolf @fantom-limb @vladdyissues @gilly-moon

[cheiyunn]

Kimisute main story [１部 ] Part 2

Side: Fantome Iris

[Sharehouse]

Felix: I also want to hear everyone’s opinions. How about it?

Daimon: Lets see… I’m on the same boat as Felix

Jun: m-Me too. Since we’ve finally gotten here, and I know that with going pro there’s gonna be a lot more problems but still…!

Tomoru: In terms of the professional world, we’re only just newcomers after all

Tomoru: In order to be buried under the other visual kei bands, we need focus on the worldbuilding of Fantome Iris, and if possible embellish it more

Koharu: Um so… before we continue there's something I need to address too…

Koharu: Remember how a little while back my job stuff caused you guys to well… more importantly, caused a lot of trouble even to our followers that care alot about us?

Tomoru: Well that was… but we already discussed it before right?

Tomoru: We said that we were going to continue on as we always have

Koharu: Yeah but. After that I did some thinking and well… That it wasn’t good to inconvenience the people around me ‘cause of my own choices

Felix: Koharu…

Koharu: That's why right now, I’m discussing some stuff with my workplace too

Jun: Is that… regarding your shifts?

Koharu: No. Actually, that nursery is run by a company. They were talking about opening a new facility where they leave their child in care on a 24 hour rotation

Koharu: The people at my workplace were asking if it was okay by me, to transfer there

Daimon: Should we take that as good…news..?

Koharu: Yeah. They were talking about hiring people who want to choose their shift times, so if I do move there, it’ll be easier for me to move around and prioritize the band

Felix: Then that becomes similar to me. Since I only continue my French lessons to the students that will continue to learn. 

Tomoru: That sounds great Koharu-san! I really hope it works out

Daimon: Its most important that you find a way to continue what you love without giving up

Koharu: Yeah, thanks. Its not set in stone yet but I just wanted to tell you guys!

Jun: Hah… while everyone’s got their footing I’m still…

Felix: Well you’re always working on Fantome Iris’ music composition right?

Felix: I look forward to what you’ll bring, Jun

Jun: Fe- Felix-san…!

Koharu: …dontcha feel that he’s gonna ask the impossible for the next song? 

Daimon: Definitely 

Tomoru: Jun will be fine. I mean, he’s responded to all of Feli’s impossible requests so far anyways

Koharu: Well that's true

Felix: Apologies to spark a conversation while eating. Lets eat before the food really gets cold

Daimon: True. It seems our drinks are long gone so I’ll bring some more

Tomoru: Oh, I’ll help out too

Koharu: You, dontcha get that you’re the main character today? Now be patient and sit down..!

.

--[Koharu and Daimon leave]--

.

Tomoru: But…

Felix: Tomoru, in regards to our next activities, did you get any orders from the label?

Felix: When I had asked in the past they said that the current way is fine so…

Tomoru: Hm, yeah… there wasn’t anything to note on my end either

Tomoru: The question just now was more because I wanted to personally confirm everyone’s opinions

Tomoru: I got the confirmation that for the live schedule, the current direction I put together was to stay approved that way too

Jun: I knew you could do it but still… such a skillful manager..! Well considering you’ve also been doing something similar to this from a while back Tomoru…

Jun: Then that means that the transfer to Dreadnought wasn’t that bad then?

Tomoru: That's not true at all

Tomoru: Ever since I started working as a manager, I realized that everything I had done up to now was simply an amateur level imitation…

Jun: r-really…?

Felix: It's the same with how the bar for when we were indie and the bar now that we’re pro are different right

Jun: The bar that they expect from us as pros…

--[Koharu comes back]--

.

Koharu: Woah what's this. I told you to eat and yet you’re all still sitting around serious talking?

Daimon: I thought that for the occasion I’d make a little more, it should be almost done

Felix: Ah, our apologies

Felix: Merci beaucoup, Koharu, Daimon

.

[Time passes]

Felix: C'était très bon! The meal was delicious Daimon

Daimon: That's good to hear

Tomoru: At the very least let me help clean up the dishes

Jun: Tomoru… aren’t you too tired…

Tomoru: After eating good food and talking, it feels like my energy’s all restored

Jun: You’re so healthy it burns…!

.

--[Felix’s phone rings]--

.

Felix: hm..? Its my brother, pardon me for a moment

.

--[Felix walks away from the table]--

.

Felix: Bonsoir, whats wrong?

Felix: …oh, so uncle has…  I understand, thanks for relaying this to me

#fromargonavis #fantome iris

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

The weight of the world

@mdzs-is-rotting-my-brain

"Saying I love you without saying it: getting your partner through a panic attack" prompt

Warnings: gore, and I mean it

Fun fact actually really sad fact, I had to Google how to help someone through a panic attack because I always rawdog mine by myself (and usually there's nobody to notice and/or help).

Ok, I'm done trauma dumping, onto the ficlet!

It was supposed to be a simple night hunt. Some low-level corpses, the kind of thing juniors are tasked with for practice. He and Lan Zhan had just happened to be passing through and decided to help - after all, it wasn't anything they couldn't get done in an hour and still be home for dinner. But, as it sometimes happens with these things, they go wrong.

Wei Ying suddenly found himself paralyzed among the horde of corpses, and his body wouldn't listen. He could reach for Chenqing, for Suibian, flick his hand to summon resentful energy, whistle, send in talismans, even call for Lan Zhan - but he couldn't do any of those things.

He could barely breathe.

He was 23 again, in the Burial Mounds, holding onto the half-destroyed Stygian Tiger Amulet as corpses ran his way, trampling over one another to reach their target, jaws unhinged and lifeless expressions twisted with resentment.

He was the Yiling Patriarch, eyes squeezed shut so he wouldn't see them reach to tear into his clothes, into his flesh, claws digging into the fine layer of skin that covered emaciated bones.

He was Wei Wuxian, bitten and torn into, screaming in pain, for mercy that wouldn't come, watching his body be ripped into, blood gushing out, skin hanging off his bones, organs turned into nothing, eyes cast upwards in prayer for it to be over already before they were dug out.

He was the world's most hated man, about to receive his punishment.

Bichen's glare swooped in, and the corpses dissipated into nothingness.

Wei Wuxian was no longer in the Burial Mounds.

But he could still feel teeth and claws, his body tingling with the fantom sensations, shaking until he could no longer stand up. He couldn't breathe, the feeling of his ribcage closing in all too familiar, heart struggling to keep up, the world too hot and too cold successively.

He heard Lan Zhan call out his name, but he couldn't focus on it, his body caught between reality and a horrid fantasy, tears clouding his vision.

"Wei Ying!" And Lan Zhan wanted to reach out to hold him, but Wei Ying swatted his hand away, his features twisted in terror for a brief moment before his mind registered who it had been that wanted to touch him.

The knot in his throat didn't lessen, though, and neither did the paralyzing tension in his bones.

"Wei Ying, please listen to me. I will not touch you if you don't want me to. But I want to help you."

Wei Ying nodded, briefly, struggling to let out a shaky breath.

"Tell me what to do."

"I don't know. Talk to me. Tell me something to distract me."

Lan Zhan sat next to him, a respectful distance away, close enough to be within reach but not to touch, "We are safe here, now, I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. We will go home, and we will play with the bunnies, and we will have dinner after, like we always do."

Wei Ying tried to calm his breathing again, and Lan Zhan remembered something he read a long time ago. "Would you like us to try breathing exercises?"

"Yeah."

"I need you to look at me, and time your breathing with mine. We will breathe in for seven seconds, hold it for three, and then release for another seven."

Wei Ying nodded, and watched as Lan Zhan did just as he said, following him. It did feel useless at first, his mind still reeling, but the more he focused on counting the seconds to breathe in, hold and breathe out, the more immersed he became in it, and the drumming of his heart lessened, his lungs no longer burning from a seeming lack of air.

"How are you feeling, Wei Ying?"

"Better, I think. Can you hold me now, a bit?"

"Mn."

Wei Ying tentatively crawled over his husband, and burrowed in his chest. "You can put your arms around me, now, I won't freak out anymore."

Lan Zhan did as told, rubbing soothing shapes down Wei Ying's back. "I am here. I'll always be."

Wei Ying hummed in acknowledgement, busying himself with tracing over the embroidery on his husband's robes. "Can you sing me something nice? And then we go home?"

"Mn."

By the time the song had finished, Wei Ying had fallen asleep in Lan Zhan's arms, mind and body exhausted with what had happened. Carefully, Lan Zhan carried him all the way to the Cloud Recesses, his heartbeat unknowingly lulling his husband into a peaceful slumber.

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts

[rose-pearls]

Yours - Conan Gray

Summary: you fell in love with Rooster the moment you met him but quickly realise he never loved you the same way, yet you can't stop going back to him.

I heard this song on the radio and after listening to it a couple of times this idea came to mind. Warnings: Angst, unrequited love, Rooster being a bit of a dick

I'm somebody you call when you're alone I'm somebody you use, but never own I'm somebody you touch, but never hold And you're somebody I'll never really know

Rooster and you had met when you went to Top Gun, you felt immediately attracted to the handsome pilot and by some chance he felt the same. It’s not until later that you discovered that it wasn’t really the same thing, you fell in love while he saw you as a friend with benefit. By the time you realized you were into deep, wanting to stay with him even though he could never love you like you loved him. He sometimes seemed to be elsewhere, but you brushed it off, not wanting to lose any borrowed time that you had with him. Sometimes after the high you tried to talk, get to know him further then each other’s bodies and what the other enjoyed in bed but he always brushed it off saying he had somewhere to go. 

Top Gun ended and you felt like you were going to lose him, but you were put on the same dispatch after your graduation, that is where you met Phoenix. The both of them knew each other you could see it, but you didn’t know how much pain these two would bring you just yet.

I know I'm not the one you really love I guess that's why I've never given up 'Cause I could give you all you want, the stars and the sun But still, I'm not enough

You had known Bob since you were little, and you were glad to know that he had joined the Navy, sadly he was a year after you at Top Gun and you couldn’t see each other often. He had always been there like a rock, supporting you but still you couldn’t fantom telling him about what was going on with Rooster and your feelings for the pilot.

Phoenix was a nice woman and somehow you missed the looks that her and Rooster shared while you were looking at the man. You ignored the uneasy feeling in your chest at the sight of them laughing and all of the times Rooster cancelled your late-night meetings. 

The moment you did realize it was when Rooster and you had been spending the night together and at his high, he whispered a name that made you freeze.

“Phoenix.”, you thought you had heard wrong, but Phoenix was far from your name, and he had his eyes closed, like he was hoping that it was her under him and not you. 

That night you called Bob in tears after Rooster left and the WSO had tried to reassure you, but you couldn’t stop crying. After that calling Bob became a habit after getting your heart broken but still letting Rooster back in. 

“You should stop this, it’s not healthy.”, you knew deep down that he was right and that you shouldn’t let Rooster come back and put a stop to this, but you couldn’t.

Oh-oh, all I really wanted was that look in your eyes Like you already know that I'm the love of your life Like you already know you're never sayin' goodbye

The deployment was done and still you felt scared to not see Rooster even when the sight of him and Phoenix laughing was like punching your stomach ten times. Rooster always looked at Phoenix like she hung the moon, when you wanted him to look at you like that, but it was always towards Phoenix. The night before you were both leaving you saw him joking with her and looking like she’s the love of his life while she just grins at him. 

He tells me goodbye at the deck the next morning like I was just another colleague and I try to fight back the want to have him tell me that we will see each other again and that he looks forward to it, but he just leaves after hugging Phoenix tight to his chest. That night is spend talking with Bob trying to get myself back together but somehow failing.

But I'm not yours I'm not yours, I'm not yours I want more, I want more But I'm not yours And I can't change your mind But you're still mine

The captain calls you to his office to tell you that you are going back to Top Gun, for a secret mission that needed to be kept under cover. The minute you stepped into the Hard Deck you feel yourself herself going back ten years ago when you were a student here, meeting Rooster for the first time. You hadn’t heard anything from the man but still you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of him even when you tried to move on.

Bob is sitting on a chair when I come in and I feel the stress leave my body at his crooked grin, the next person I see is Phoenix who still looks as perfect as she was when I first met her.

The person you weren’t expecting and should’ve been is Rooster, coming in still looking like a dream and immediately his smile widens at the sight of Phoenix. The two made sense like puzzle pieces falling together while you were the piece that was too much. Bob seems to realize it’s the famous Bradley you always talked about and gives your arm a reassuring squeeze. Rooster sees you and you didn’t know what you thought he would do but just a nod towards you was not it. 

So tell me that it's time for me to go 'Cause you know I can't do it on my own The only thing that's harder than sleepin' alone Is sleepin' with your ghost

You expected it to go back to how it was during our deployment, but it didn’t happen, he stayed in his room, and you stayed awake waiting for him like a child. 

The mission is harder than you thought, Rooster is mad at the instructor but the only person that seems able to get him back in check is Phoenix. You go to see Rooster, see if he’s alright and in that moment, you would do anything for him. That is probably why you end up having sex in the showers like the horny teenagers that you once were. He quickly leaves the showers telling you he will see you later.

And as you fall on your knees in the shower crying, you hate yourself for letting him back in your life and you want to scream at him to let go of the hold that he has on you. Bob finds you later and brings your body out of the showers and helping you get dressed. 

That night you don’t manage to sleep and as you turn on your side the only thing you can imagine is Rooster lying next to you, but you know he isn’t there. Still doesn’t stop the hope blooming in your chest.

Oh-oh, all I really wanted was that look in your eyes Like you already know that I'm the love of your life Like you already know you're never sayin' goodbye

The mission gets closer, and you feel the stress of it trying to focus into work to forget Rooster and the way he doesn’t even acknowledge you unless he has to. The bird strike accidents happen that day and you feel your heart fall in your stomach at Bob’s voice through the comm seeming stressed and as we hear them eject, you feel a lump in your throat. Bob looks alright when you go see him, but he still seems under shock, and you try to reassure him that everything will be alright hoping that it will be. 

Bob falls asleep and you decide to go back to your room but as you pass another room, you see Phoenix and Rooster talking to each other holding each other hands. They look at each other like you’ve always wanted Rooster to look at you, but he doesn’t, he is transfixed by the beautiful pilot, who now seems to be as interested as he is, and you can’t stop your heart from breaking even though you knew he was never yours to start.

But I'm not yours I'm not yours, I'm not yours I want more, I want more But I'm not yours And I can't change your mind

The mission ends with everyone coming home and the two lovebirds kissing each other on the tarmac like they were the only one in the world. You go away from the celebrations for a moment and feel a presence next to you hoping to see Bob but finding Rooster instead looking at you with a nervous smile. 

“If we could keep what happened between us, I would appreciate it, you know.”, you felt like someone had just taken your heart out of your chest. He wasn’t there to talk with you, he was just making sure you wouldn’t go tell Phoenix that you slept together. You nod wordlessly and after quickly giving you a hug he leaves you there. 

Bob is looking at you with a heart broken expression and you feel like the worst person in the world, realizing that you treated Bob the exact same way Rooster treated you, like he was a second choice and that he didn’t matter. You want to go to him tell him your sorry, but you don’t even know where to start. Bob comes towards you, and you look at him with tearful eyes, this time not because of Rooster but because you hurt the only important person left in your life.

“I’m sorry.”, Bob looks at you confused, but you don’t let him ask as you hug him tighter than you ever have hoping to make him understand.

“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean to.”, you sob in his chest and can’t stop whispering that I’m sorry in his chest. 

I should've known that it was dumb love 15 dozen roses All the things that I've done for you not to notice Can't believe I chose you over all my best friends What the fuck did I do in the end? Just to not be yours

#top gun x reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #rooster fanfic #rooster fanfiction #rooster x y/n #rooster x you #top gun imagine

[aprocessionofthoughts]

Sound of silence

ai-less whumptober 2023 day 3- overstimulation fantom- batman TW- none summary- Clark's heightened senses come in handy most of the time. But on days like today, he just wants it all to be quiet.

ao3 masterlist

Clark just needed to last until this meeting was over. It had already gone twenty minutes over the projected meeting time, but that was expected with Batman. Clark didn’t really blame him. He knew the man was paranoid and that he was always trying to instill more paranoia into the rest of them. And usually Clark was fine with it. But not today. Today he just wanted to get to his Fortress of Solitude.

He had known it was going to be a bad day as soon as he had woken up. His senses had felt dialed up to a seven and had steadily gotten worse. He had been able to go through his shift on monitor duty with little problem since the watchtower was in space and there wasn’t as much noise as there was on Earth, but now they were an hour and a half into another security meeting and he just wanted to lay down somewhere quiet. 

He thought he had been doing a pretty good job of hiding how he was feeling, which looking back was kind of stupid-nothing got past Batman, but he still flinched when someone cleared their throat next to him. 

Clark glanced up from where he had been pretending to scan over the meeting notes and was surprised to see that the room had emptied out. The only person left was Bruce, who was standing next to him.

“Superman.”  Bruce said in a flat tone which Clark would normally be able to at least kind of decipher but not today.

“Batman.” he responded as he tried to focus on his friend's face through his slightly blurry vision. Well, not blurry exactly. It was more like his eyes couldn’t decide if they wanted to take in the broad picture or if they wanted to focus in on each of Batman’s pores which gave him a nausea inducing sort of double vision.

Bruce just stared at him before motioning with his head that he wanted Clark to follow. 

He got up, suppressing a sigh yet was grateful that Bruce hadn’t talked.

He followed his friend down several corridors to a room that Clark was unfamiliar with.

Bruce opened the door and stepped through waiting for Clark to come through as well before the door shut behind them.

As soon as the door shut the tension Clark hadn’t even realized he was holding in his shoulders released.

It was silent.

So silent, that even the usual noises that one’s body makes were barely a murmur.

The room was an unobtrusive blue with walls so smooth that even with his enhanced vision Clark could hardly see any imperfections.

He turned to look at Bruce.

The man quirked his lip, which for him was the equivalent of a gentle smile. He signed one word, rest, before he opened the door and left.

Clark let himself sink down onto the cot that was in a corner–the sheets so smooth that they barely irritated his sensitive skin.

Clark closed his eyes and let himself smile.

#ailesswhumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober #day 3 #overstimulation #bruce wayne #clark kent #superman #batman #hurt/comfort #batman fanfiction #dc universe #superman fanfiction

[myfanfictiongarden]

Strange is the Jungle- Tarzan (1999)

Loneliness. It's a feeling he knows all too well. It is not like he was constantly alone, the troop was always nearby, his mother, his cousins, even when he wandered a bit off, the jungle was full of all sorts of creatures, all sort of life. When he wandered off to be alone, he never was, yet lonely he was often. He knew he was different, always knew, no other gorilla looked like him, no other creature in the jungle did. His mother had, over all this time, looked after him, comforting and encouraging to find his own way, to adapt to the handicaps that he had as not-quite a gorilla. It seemed odd that he wasn’t a gorilla when there were so many similarities between them, yet like an elephant he had no fur and like a hippo he could move with ease through the water, his agile limbs allowing him to swing and glide through the tree tops without restrain. Yes, he was different, but he had found peace with it. This was just as things were.

Suddenly though, his whole world seems to be different from what he used to know, because it turns out he is not the only one, the only not-quite ape. There are others like him. He couldn’t believe his eyes when out of the bamboo grove a male appeared, and then another older one, and then a female, all of them without fur, covered and wrapped in garments far more expanse than his. They couldn’t speak any form of ape he knew, the sounds that were coming out of their mouths strange and loud. He couldn’t fantom why they seemed so exited to find old nests, surely they had seen countless of them before. Curiosity had kept his attention wandering from one to the other, unsure which one to follow until the young female had upset an angry group of baboons and seemed clueless how to escape them. He swung after her. Thinking now back to that encounter his chess tightens and his heart aches, loneliness gripping with it claws onto him like a jaguar at prey. 

Kerchak wants them to avoid the strangers, to never get too close or be seen. To act like they are incredibly dangerous or worse, don’t exist. But they do exist and he cannot let go of that fact. They are just as real as he is. Jane is just as real as he is. And for a fleeting moment anger returns to his mind, anger at his mother for never telling him others are somewhere, for surely she must have known, his mother knew everything. But his anger is short and soon again replaced by sadness, behind him the family making their nests ready for the night and life going on like usual.

In that moment realisation grips him that his life simply can’t go on as before. He can’t listen to his mother's advice nor follow Kerchak´s heartless demand. 

Tomorrow he is going to see these strangers, he is going to see Jane.

-

That evening she excuses herself rather early, there is mention of some slight headache from the daylong heat and too much excitement, her father sends her instantly to rest so they can continue their studies tomorrow while their guide Clayton doesn’t even spare her a glance rather focusing on lighting his smoking pipe. It seems clear that he thinks her a silly girl fantasising nonsense after getting too much sun, not made for the hardships of this expedition, and while it bothers her anyone doubting her intellectual capacity, she must admit that the climate is far from welcoming to someone who has known only cold winds and drizzling rain for most of her life. Beautiful English summers aside, Africa does offer its own challenges when it comes to heat and humidity. Right now she is more than happy for some early quiet, even at the expanse of being considered silly, for upon recalling this days events she can’t help but question herself if not everything was only part of her imagination. But no, her missing boot and sock and parasol indicate otherwise, as does her missing notebook. As does Tarzan.

Sitting down on her iron wrung bed, now dressed in a light nightgown and enjoying the soft breeze of evening air, she looks around her small tent. Planing on what to take with her on the expedition to the jungle took nearly longer than the sailing did. In the end there were two trunks with clothes, a traveling secretary table, a bookshelf with a collection on the most important publications when it comes to travel on the Dark Continent, as well as the children's book her mother had taught her reading from and a beautiful edition of Around the World in Eighty Days. There was also the massive bed. To her it seemed normal to take the comfort of England to Africa. While their camp was well equipped for living as well as her fathers experiments, it was far from what their house in London had to offer. And yet, somewhere out there was someone who lived without any of it. 

She shivers as she thinks about being in the open at night in the jungle, all kinds of beasts lurking in the shadows, no protection near, every sound waking you out of your sleep. Is it really the way he had to grow up in? How is it even possible for a human being to survive among such dangers, especially if it happens to be since childhood? It must have been since childhood, he seemed absolutely oblivious to any humans existing until now. Surely, there were many similarities between primates and humans, but this, this was something completely different! Yet, he seemed so gentle, so kind, so curious, so…

Her head begins to spin and she lies down in defeat, too many questions swirling like a horde of bees in he head, and no answer nor explanation nearby. Tomorrow, tomorrow she’ll order her thoughts and experiences scientifically, explain everything to daddy once more, he will know where to start from there to solve this mystery. 

But for now, the days excitement is finally turning into exchausion and the pillow seems welcoming soft as she falls asleep dreaming of flying through jungle treetops and eyes so deep with wonder that no words for communication are needed.

#finally posted it! #it has been around for weks #disney tarzan #tarzan 1999 #my fanfiction #my writing

[argonavis-hcs]

How They Will Celebrate Your Birthday

Argonavis | GYROAXIA | Fantome Iris | FUURAI | epsilon phi

» a/n: I apologize for being biased but i love these goth uncles so much it hurts. I wish there's more translation on Koharu's background and personality in the future because i feel like he's the most vague out of the other four, hence why often struggles when writing his fanfic... more like i wish i understand japanese lol. Long live to all the argopro translator out there i hope you get the best things in life. That also applies to you, people who like to read my work here <3

» Tags: fem!reader

» TW: none

Guy has money but i must apologize, dear readers, you're going to have to endure tonight's dinner. Prepare for full course dish made out of... love, of course. Nothing but love for his one and only, the Queen of his heart

No worries tho, being Felix's partner AKA the King of Vampire himself makes you his counterpart, the second-in-command of the Vampire realm in which you have his fellow vampires (and our human priest, Daimon) to back you up. They will contribute to prepare you the best birthday dinner (only those who happen to have their schedule empty of course)

Felix being French that he is, romance runs in his blood. He will send you a birthday greeting written beautifully in a classic, yellowed, old paper. It's so dramatic of him that you let out a chuckle when you opened the letter, you also couldn't help but notice that the letter has his scent all over it. Not even the big bouquet of roses in your front door can hide this fragrance of his

His students wondered why he's looks so happy today, why it's because he has many agenda to do with you on your special day of course~

The dinner went great, no stomachache involved. The atmosphere feels like you're inside royal palace with an actual king. For the final Act, Felix bows and ask the lady for a dance, you agreed and the piano starts playing. If you don't really know how to dance, it's ok, he'll lead you and you don't have to think about anything else, simply pay attention to him. Don't be afraid to fall, for he will always catch you no matter what

As much as a busy person he is, he will remember your day because that's just the kind of person he is. He marked the date on his calendar, on his phone, even put a little note on his bathroom mirror so he can see it every time he brush his teeth in the morning

It's probably nothing extravagant, but spending time with you without disturbance is considered as luxury due to how tight his schedule can be

In the afternoon he will pick you up from work with a cake he just bought on the way, walking together to your place while also stopping on some stores to buy more presents despite you saying that his time is more than enough. Also he won't let you carry a single bag. The two of you will take a break on the train station while eating a desert until your train comes

Your birthday celebration is held in the evening at your place. You live by yourself away from your family so you decide to spend your day with Tomoru alone since you miss him so, and your friends understand it so they decide to celebrate tomorrow evening after work

Feeling kinda playful, you smear some cake frosting onto your boyfriends nose when he's not looking. He won't let you off easy y'know? He get his revenge by smearing even more cake frosting on your cheek. This is the thing with Tomoru, when alone with him you feel safe and free to act like a kid again, despite the two of you being literal adults with responsibility.

It ended up being a playful cake fight. Both faces are covered with frosting that Tomoru had to put his glasses away where it safe. You realized it's been so long since you've seen him without it outside fantome iris live, you can't help but stare at his feature. You don't realize you stared for too long until he surprised you with a kiss. It started simple, innocent, and light, till he deepen the kiss each seconds. You can taste the sweetness of his lips on you, and that's when you know that this is the best birthday present you could've ever wished for

Oh God please help this guy. He's panicking like it's the end of the world. What if he make things worse? What if his bad luck transfers itself to you on your day? What if you hate him after this? What if what if what if–

At least for today he wants to accomplish one of the biggest achievement he could ever achieve, that is to put the biggest smile on your face. To be the reason of your happiness for the day

But the reality is, he still can't think of what to do. He asked his band mates/friends for advice and they suggest Jun to just ask you what do you want. He is in doubt but complies either way

Surprisingly, you ask him if he perform a song with piano. His brain circuited, he thought your request will be something difficult or something along the lines of 'surprise me', which will terrify him even more

Despite already being good at piano, he's still in distress on which song he should play, or should he compose a new one instead? Countless hours were spent to perfect his skill that he even sacrificed his gaming time 'cause the thought of you won't leave his head

The day arrive and you were so excited to see him play especially for you, but Jun didn't expect you to sit so close beside him, shoulders touching and all. The notes in his head completely disappeared that all he could think about is how beautiful you look today, your scent cloud his head it's intoxicating him in the best way possible. Oh how he wished he's good with words, to praise such being as you, but he knows he'll only embarrass himself if he opens his mouth. So his music shall declare his admiration on his behalf

You can feel the tears pooling already. The melody of each songs were played perfectly with no flaws. As your eardrums were blessed with his music, you were also in awe with the way his fingers dance on each keys. To think that you long-awaited moment to witness his play are now granted, it was the most beautiful present you ever received

You can't help but lay your head on his shoulder and hug his arm. As you whisper those three words, all the pianist feel is the warmth unfurling from his chest. His world are now filled with every color spectrum, with you at the center

Just like Felix's students, Koharu's students also notice Koharu seems happier and more energetic today. Innocent eyes looking at their teacher, asking what makes him joyful? It's because today he will celebrate the birthday of someone reaaaaallly important to him!

"Is it the person waiting outside??" Asked a little girl while tip-toeing at the window. Some kids really do well in remembering faces who usually visits the nursery, huh? Koharu picked up the little girl and together they took a peek outside... And found you sitting there. Wait, shouldn't you be at work? And shouldn't he be the one picking you up from work instead? This is not what we talked about, y/n!

Work was kind enough to let you off early for some reason. So to save time, you decide to visit the nursery where your boyfriend works. While waiting for him, you get to see him handling children, which is something you've always wanted to see

Some kids even cheered happy birthday to you. Perhaps Koharu told them? Kids in this nursery are so sweet, no wonder Koharu love his job. Koharu just looked at you with that sheepish smile of his

The two of you celebrate on a restaurant you've always wanted to visit. The food place is always crowded that Koharu had to make reservation one week in advance. It was totally worth it, the food were all delicious and you and Koharu got to eat to your heart's content. Careful now, Koharu, you can't eat too much or else your costume won't fit anymore

You think celebrating in this place alone is enough? Absolutely not! You haven't blown any candles yet, and for that you need a cake. So the two of you pick up the cake in Champ de Fleur that happened to be empty. Well, doesn't matter because Koharu intend to do this quick as he's going to take your for an all-night long ride with his motorcycle (I hc he used to ride one when he was young)

"W-What? Of course I 'm not avoiding eating your cake! It's your birthday cake, not mine so... Ugh, fine, but only you feed me yourself!"

You were a bit hesitant to ride with him until morning. But you're also well aware that you have nothing to worry about. You and him are both adults and Koharu can protect you from any danger. So why not take his hand and see the world he has to offer?

After all, unlike the two of us, the night is still young. So hold on to me and let's enjoy the present time as much as we can, shall we?

Our biggest male wife (figuratively and literally) will do everything himself. Everything was made by his hands and the sacrifice of his time and energy

He will close the café early as he's planning to decorate the place a little bit and make sure everything is ready. The cake, check. The whole five different dishes that's made for large group of people, check. Presents, check, hopefully you will like them

If you prefer to bring your friends and his friends along. he's totally ok with it. The more the merrier! But if you just want him then he doesn't mind, he's going to have easier time tidying things up after the celebration

Truly the best cake is the one made by the hands of your loved one. You silently wish your family will also one day taste delicacies made by your partner. As cringey as it sounds, every bite is filled with love. This is the love language of Kusunoki Daimon, the one who never show much expression as he shows it through his act of service, and you're more than willing to bask on this feeling forevermore

One of his gift being a reference to the story of Beauty and The Beast. A single rose that wilts slowly, as long as the beast hasn't found his true love, one petal will fall. One by one until it eventually dies. In contrast to the rose in the story, the rose Daimon gave you will never die. Standing proud and eternal inside the crystal clear glass. For he has found his true love in the shape of you, who was born and fated to be together with him. A token of gratitude for making it through many hardships with him, not leaving his side, and for loving a beast such as him

#argonavis #from argonavis #argonavis imagines #fanfiction #headcanons #fantome iris #fantome iris x reader #felix louis-claude mont d'or #felix louis-claude mont d'or x reader #why is felix name so hard to remember i had to copy paste #tomoru kurokawa #tomoru kurokawa x reader #jun suzaki #jun suzaki x reader #koharu mitsurugi #koharu mitsurugi x reader #daimon kusunoki #daimon kusunoki x reader

[ihatepeoplesomuchuwu]

I do not have the energy or care to spend any more thoughts about the CK situation but there's something that has been bothering me. I wish to start off that I do not support Tom, I haven't supported him for quite awhile before this happened because of other actions he did. However, even though I do not like Tom, I do not approve of people sending him death threats and causing him to leave. Do I think some of the things he said were shitty? Absolutely! Especially the stuff about racism and his hispanic/latinx ocs that are walking stereotypes! Do I think people should have gone to the extent they did to harass him? Fuck no. Goodness, we are a community, for the most part, of adults. Start acting like it, and if it truly bothered you so bad then just block his account and tags (when he was here)

As a POC, it's really bothered me that people have glossed over the things like how uncomfortable his only two hispanic/latinx character's were very fetishy and becoming insulting stereotypes but at the end of the day what can I do? Oh right, move on from it because there are other important daily life things to worry about than random people on the internet that have no direct contact to me and don't interfere with my real world life. Does it suck? Yes. Should I spend every waking breath breathing into my mic raging? No. I just can't fantom this behavior from either side, this isn't pointed at one side by the way, its at both because I quite frankly think people on both sides are acting ridiculously to internet drama we should be moving on from/shouldn't have let it come to this. That's all, I'm quite frankly tired of it because it does suck but it's a tumblr fandom, I have to keep reminding myself it's always been like this since joining this website 9 years ago it'll end up falling into the toxic internet culture bag. By the way, congrats on figuring yourself out with genderfluidity!

Anon...... I love you, take this ✨️👑✨️

In all seriousness, I have a high HIGH respect for you, and thank you for taking the time to do this. I completely agree and understand where you are coming from! I still stand by saying that this all should have just been handled privately, not just from the person who made the post but Tom as well. Like you said, we are all adults here, and this was all just the wrong way to handle this situation. We are all adults and this is one of those times that should have been handled privately first instead of out in the open where some people didn't even take the time to read the posts from both sides and just took the chance to threaten and harrass the opposite side. (Idc if you agree or not with someone, harassment is never okay and I'm sorry if you dealt with any of that anon) It's going too far at this point and just tiring to see both sides threaten one another over this. This happens. It's life, and people move on. As someone that I have talked to on here said, people mess up and make bad decisions. It happens and it's life. If you aren't happy or comfortable, then no one is stopping you from leaving. Your comfort is a top priority, and it's the internet. If you don't like something, then block or leave it. You, my dear anon, have said it so well that I don't even know what to add! UwU

As for the racism part of Tom's post(s), that was one of the things I did not agree on. I didn't take it personally(I am a white as fuck irish person who has only heard the "Lol alcoholic potato" jokes)and I can't even imagine how some people felt. I feel like I have no place to comment on it because I don't want to act like I know how it feels. It wasn't okay, in my opinion, and besides saying that I didn't agree with that, and it was upsetting to read. I wish I could add more, but you seriously said it a lot better! TwT

(I genuinely wish I could add more, but holy shit did you make such a beautiful and inspiring post, Anon! ^^ Thank you for taking the time to send me this, and I hope you have a wonderful stay here, we love and appreciate everyone here, my friend, SO YOU BETTER ACCEPT IT!!! ❤️ >:0)

(P.s. Thank you so much!!! Also, you dropped this ✨️👑✨️)

#carnivorekitty #lurking for love #lfl #l4l #niwinoodle #royalty 👑 #anonymous #WHY ARE SO MANY OF YOU SO COOL WTF #seriously have so much respect for all of you it's scary #stay amazing anon!!! UwU

[thedeathdeelers]

hey @mouse-fantoms, something like this? (based on this post)

//

He takes in a deep breath, his eyes locked on Julie’s face, desperate to prolong this moment even as the ticking of the clock kept getting louder and louder in his head.

They were running out of time.

Letting out an unsteady breath, Luke tentatively reaches out, fingers shaking slightly as he gently strokes the soft skin of her cheek. She leans into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed at the contact. The shaking steadies, and Luke finds himself reaching out with his other hand to tenderly hold her face in his grasp.

They stay that way for a moment, the calm before the storm, as he tries to memorise everything about her: from the curve of her cheeks, the shape of her eyes and the colour of her lips, to the warmth of her skin under his fingertips and the feel of her soft breaths against his face. Every little thing that makes her Julie; the girl who has come to mean the absolutely world to him in so little time.

If only they had been given more time, more certainty.

“Julie, I-” he starts, voice raspy with the weight of emotions coursing through him. “I just want you to know-“

Her eyes snap open at his words, fingers reaching up to cover his lips and stop him mid-sentence.

“No Luke, we’re not doing this. We’re not having this conversation now.”

“Jules-” he mumbles, lips brushing against her fingers.

She shakes her head emphatically, rushing to speak over him again. “No. You guys are coming back. This isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you again in a few hours and then we can talk.”

Luke sighs against her hand, closing his eyes and squeezing. He can’t take that risk — he knows both he and the boys will do everything they can to come back to her, but even if there was the smallest chance that he might not make it….

He needs her to know.

Nothing left unsaid. Not again.

Not with her.

He opens his eyes again to find unshed tears glistening in eyes staring fiercely up at him. He tightens his hold on her face, thumbs tracing the curve of her cheeks. Nudging her hand away, Luke finally allows himself to pour his heart out to her.

“Julie, I’ve had to die and live with the consequences of knowing what it feels like to have unfinished business — to carry the heaviest words with me wherever I go, reminding me of the mistakes and the missed chances from another life.” A few of tears escape from the corners of her eyes, and he catches them with the pads of his thumbs, wiping them away. “We’ll come back, Jules. I’ll come back to you. You know we’ll fight for our spot right here next to you, and there’s no chance in hell we’ll let an old relic in a cape take that away from us. But I need you to let me say this first. Nothing left unsaid; not this time.”

He stops for a moment, eyes solely focused on her gaze. He waits for a sign that she’s listening — that’s she’s ready to let him continue.

A slight movement, a shift of skin against the palm of his hands — a nod.

“I love you.” The words are finally out, hovering in the air between them, warm and light. He feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders, knowing that finally, there was nothing left between them. No regrets.

He loves her. It’s simple, it’s easy. It’s how it was always meant to be.

“I love you so much, Julie. It’s like- I can’t even explain it. The way you make me feel — when you look at me, when you smile. The way your eyes keep me hooked, keep me breathless even when I know I don’t need to breathe. But then you open your mouth and you start to speak, to sing.” Luke shakes his head, a small smile curving his lips. “It’s the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard. You’re my favourite song, my favourite chord, my favourite melody. My favourite everything.”

Nothing left unsaid.

“You’re- you’re music to me, Jules. Always will be.”

More tears have made their way down her cheeks, leaving wet trails on her skin. He takes his time to wipe them away, his gaze never wavering.

She doesn’t react for a moment, only stared up at him with wide eyes. But then something shifts within her — there’s a spark building in her glittering eyes, and he feels like she might set his world on fire — and for her, he’d gladly burn.

She reaches up, hands coming to rest on either side of his face.

“I love you, Luke Patterson. I love you and I need you to come back to me. Promise me you’ll come back to me.”

All he can do is nod, his chest so full of love for the girl in front of him.

Leaning in closer towards her, Luke presses his lips to her forehead, letting himself linger. With his eyes closed, he takes a deep breath, breathing her in.

At the sound of someone poofing in behind them, Luke reluctantly pulls himself away.

“Uh, Luke, we- we gotta go. Willie’s saying we need to be there before Caleb gets back.”

Only looking up long enough to nod at Reggie, Luke reverts his eyes back to Julie. She looks scared, she looks worried — but that spark is still there, burning with determination. They could do this.

“I promise, I’ll find my way back to you — no matter what.” She nods at his words, his confirmation. “I love you.”

A small smile tugs at her lips for the first time that night.

“I know, I love you too.”

#the end???? bruh idk i’m so sorry i think this may be super OOC #but! it’s fluff! and it’s juke! and uh. it has the line #hope you like it!!!! #jatp #julie and the phantoms #my fics

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Sweet lovers”)

Thus let this abject Impotence?     Thought,—All laboure him thanck. Make not to the shepheards bene     ydle and mutability. No more than death, immortal,     nor Hope dare a comforting central cedar pole, that     which Thou whose stead of wife

about the trampled out. Soules are,     her eyebrows of a bare foot, the coming out with severall     waies, to pleased with a pink wave&we will be my love that     have not me, and that sike mist o’er me cast, give my cold lips     and kye; but being absent,

love lays on; content and go,     and a hey nonino, for love’s veins thou hast her, and to     pour down upon the loins engenders to admired it.     Be cramped into a doubtful twilight with delicacies.     I lie as still! You did

not come. That may express. Of her     myriad years old sucking her cloud in night shall flow, and     have a secrete wise, and thinke I should all be cramped into     the Eyes be blind. What if they see; for thy hand, friends over     sticks, plunges into shallow

rivers, massacres would be     softening chains o’ lovely eyes, were it even our fists. I     would heaven was here! As the loud chaunting higher, the angels,     twice you more the very word is like a river of     thy lustye, as the cause of

your neck. Descended, and leafy     shaw, and darkening the drowned. And fixing still The Shah beheld     Salámán’s Anguish was extreme, the Door of Mercy open’d     in delight: nor doth the pit and hesitations, subject,     blessed our dear delights

me. We wanted to consort with     only the loud song of the wakeful ear in the time-     betterings, as thou hast. Today we have let his jive ass     back&forth with hope there did address these rosy lips and deeds?     It’s wrong for the darkness!

When they this queen attended; in     whose grace and quiet, to the shepehearde more. Purple pride     of our fashioning that sith thee! Looking and dumplin burn     to pot, till farther and full of promise but secret; then     abate, like a sign! While

I lookt other perpetual     light shall be done away. Your though seen of none sees clearly:     That’s why our chill so that waited my wand’ring, at evening,     the hearthstone? Till flesh in my dark heart of the strip mall, I     put on you, near and armor

should lead thee dear, but Sorrow     on a midnight he would bless there all this Hubbub know myself     invents the leane soules treasures which passes between your     large precepts misse! How long wilt thou thy obiect so imbrace,     as what the Humour every

male in the mirror, darkly;     but then without attaint o’erlook the dedicated words     where are they call the golden cage. The story of their skinne.     But, fool, seekst not very long, after long; the roses given:     Man were held by none,

is loosely bound by country folks     would be softening thereto, With all your sole praise from my     bosom’s shop is hanging his best allow’d? Went to hue, crown     the wave of her high heart or brow,—strong by Beauties might; slow     heauinesse in both pedantic:

today’s the dale, the day! As     the luver’s fire. I would let her grant, or else deny, my     love. Be where Laura lay, within his mother thighs so closely     cling that when though oft himself down? I cannot do that     I am: and in some

malignant disease, viewed from whome     thereon: this is the Wolfe lowder had bene of flesh, men     as other side. I as well as any she belied with     a shock on my breast, from some scene cast over for me are     windows to my onward,

each drawer of the light is the thicket,     and hope? Puff his ground. That vertue, if it could for his daughter’s     grave, yet cannot be prolonged beyond, or they han paund.     In ribbands, and such wealth of globed peonies; or if     thy mind may move, that vertue,

I could let her waking, find her     neck so fair, ah, braid no more I’ll sight of the rye, with the     Fantom of a Veil from wife, lover from her grave, but being     bitten by Despaired of, for our money; and, us     to join, the sense. Sweet lovers

love avails, since now at earst     the Dove in fields, woods or steepy mountains drive, and that this     closed the poor do waiting sea, in distance. The deil he could     hope that they tell, and eke had he cond the country folks would     he speede him fast. What love

could utter and his latest sun.     It was daye light them out: with a limit past my praise, and     loving best, a hungry generations with thee, where cheeks;     and in his heart alike conceit did melt me down from his     counter top, the circular

argument of the Day, awake!     Leave me thus, my Katie? Wonder’s raptur’d view, the morning     sun; and Matthew stopped. It cries with easeful Death, call’d     him soft names in men. Like a Duck, so with her wings of     Poetesses; Clarinda, friends,

but no such colour it had stol’n,     I fear, back to me. Moon in happy lot, while brightens above     the arias of love from whence the loins engenders     to admired it. Billows murmurous haunt me     But ‘tis time for her head.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #167 texts #ballad

[highschoolrealityff]

Chapter 25

Kambria 

I was tired of holding in the secret that could not only ruin my life but HIS. He has ignored me for a month and a few weeks. I’m tired of this! He was actually getting into me and SHE just had to ruin the chance for us to see what we’ve could of been. Call me delusional maybe but what Chris and I had was growing into potential. I feel so alone in this mess that I created. I just wanted him to notice and like me for myself. I don’t have anyone to talk to. Keisha turned her back on me. I can’t even talk to my mom. I’m literally alone. Lately, I feel so sick and can’t keep anything down. I gotta figure out what I’m going to do.

As I’m combing through my thoughts on what to do. Nothing seems to be the right thing to do. I told him the news and it’s like he could care less. I want him to care!

“Kam! Are you heading to school baby girl?” My dad yelled out to me. I was not in a mood to go to face everyone especially Chris. We needed to come up with a solution to this problem he helped create. “Kam!” Dad yelled out to me. “I’m coming! I’m heading out now!” I yelled back. I couldn’t stop looking at my reflection in the mirror as my former flat stomach was growing a small little bump. I am no where near ready to tell my dad so I’m going to hold my own secret until I can’t. 

I pulled a hoodie over myself and slid on my crocs. I wanted to be comfortable but also not play into looking pregnant. 

~~~

The bell rang as I walked up to the quad. I could see them on my right. Just laughing it up and having a good time. I am not going to lie. I’m heated. I needed to have a conversation with Chris. I’m going to make that happen no matter what. He has to speak to me. It’s important for the future.

Chris

“Just make sure you don’t die this time!” Mike yelled as he laughed. We had let the girls smoke with us and Mallory’s baby ass lung couldn’t hang. It was funny how slummed she was last night. As everyone in the group laughed. I couldn’t help but think about my short conversation with Kambria. There couldn’t be anyway I got her pregnant. I would of remembered having sex. Let alone with Kambria. I kept thinking about it. Even if it was a possibility. I’d never be like my dead beat father. I snapped out of my thoughts and saw Kambria heading towards me angrily. “Fuck man” I mumbled to myself. I had to dead this situation before it blew up to everyone. I caught her attention by pointing over to the empty tables that were out of sight. “Hey man. I’ll be right back” I said said to Mike. He nodded and went back to talking to the group. 

~~~

“We need to talk again Chris” Kambria said as she tightly crossed her arms around her chest. “Yeah we really do. I’m confused” I said. “Well like I told you the other night. I’m pregnant” She said as her eyes tried to search mine for a reaction. I had nothing to give her. I wasn’t going to believe her because I know for sure I didn’t fuck her. “Respectfully Kambria. I mean this with the upmost respect. I did not have sex with you” I simply said as her face dropped and tears filled inside her eyes. “I can’t fucking believe you!” She yelled loudly. 

“Cut that shit out!��� I snapped at her. I didn’t need this kind of attention flooding around me. “All you have to do is be there for your soon child. I’m not asking for much” She cried as she held onto herself. “I am telling you the truth! It’s not my baby” I flatly said. This conversation wasn’t going anywhere. I can’t even remember going to her house. Kambria stormed away as tears fell from her eyes. I felt bad but that truth I can’t accept. Especially because it’s not true. 

Kadence

I can’t even fantom what was going on between Chris and Kambria. Whatever that conversation was about. It had ole girl pressed. I wasn’t going to address what was going on because Chris and I barely got back on good terms. I don’t want to jeopardize what we’re currently building towards. “Hey ya’ll I’m about to head to class. I’ll link up with ya’ll at lunch” I said as I walked away with so many questions. As I was walking to first period, my phone was already buzzing. I ignored my phone and opened the door to the classroom. “Good Morning Kadence” My teacher brightly greeted. “Good Morning Ms. Henderson” I replied as I sat down in the desk I normally sat in daily. My thoughts were crashing all at once. 

“Earth to Kade” Keisha waved in front of my face as she laughed. I shook myself out of the haze I was in. “What’s up girl?” I asked as I pulled my binder and pencil case out. “I was trying to get your attention. I’m good” She said as she sat at the desk on my left. “Girl I’m just all in my head about Chris” I honestly admitted. “What’s going on now with his light skinned ass” She laughed as she started scrolling on her phone. “Nothing really. I saw him chatting with Kambria’s sneaky ass” I said as I checked my phone as well. “I thought he ended that situation girl” Keisha said as she raised her eyebrow. “Look that’s his problem” I said shrugging and brushing it out. “Good morning class. Let’s get started on this week’s lesson” Ms. Henderson loudly said as we turned to pay attention. 

“Today we will be learning about attachment theory and it components” Ms. Henderson announced. I wasn’t in the mood for Psychology class. Although it was one of my favorite classes. Today was not it. I need to check in with Chris. 

I just hate how much I care.  

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