#coda S02:E07

[alidravana]

I Want to Give You the World

Written for @911prideweek: Day 7 - Free choice.  

This fic was written for everyone in the Firehouse 126 Discord!  Some of you may notice references to the various topics that we discuss in our channels, and I hope you all enjoy it! :)  Thanks to the amazing @alilypea for editing for me!

Pairing: Carlos Reyes/T.K. Strand

Rating: T

Warnings: Brief mention of past drug use in high school.

Word Count: 2,050

Summary: T.K. was never one of the cool kids. A coda to Season 2, Episode 7: Displaced.

Can also be read on A03.  

*****

“The cool kids rarely do.”

That comment stuck with T.K. longer than he wanted it to.

He had never thought of himself that way.

And Carlos being Carlos picked up that he was still bothered by something as they started to get ready to for bed. T.K. could sense Carlos's concerned gaze on him as he started to pull on the set of pyjama bottoms that he often wore when he stayed over and one of Carlos's roomy APD's t-shirts.

He paused for a moment, tempted to distract Carlos by coming out completely naked and ready to tumble, so to speak. But he knew that that would only delay the inevitable and that Carlos would still ask him what was wrong even after they were lying sweaty and naked next to each other. And honestly, he wasn't sure if he could go through with that plan either, and that bothered him more than he liked to admit.

Wishing he had on a hoodie so he could burrow into the comfort that it provided, T.K. took a deep breath and walked back into Carlos's bedroom. Seeing his boyfriend sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him, he allowed himself to fall into Carlos's open arms, using Carlos's warmth and presence instead. Carlos's arms tightened around him, and a gentle kiss was placed on his forehead.

T.K. wasn't sure what he had done in his life to deserve such love, but he soaked it up, tucking himself in closer to Carlos's chest. "You know, I never really considered myself to be one of the cool kids," he blurted out, still holding himself close to Carlos's chest. He could feel a hand gently rub his back, but Carlos didn't say anything, so he figured he should continue.

"I know I grew up in New York, and my parents accepted me when I came out and all that, but…" T.K. said, straightening up a bit so he could see Carlos's expression. He wasn't trying to make light of his parents' acceptance; he knew he should be incredibly grateful to have such supportive parents, even though they weren't the most supportive of each other. "But high school was still high school." He concluded and could see Carlos nod in understanding. "I was out when I started, and that got me pushed into a weird group of other people that didn't really fit in anywhere else."

"I wasn't cool, I wasn't nerdy, I wasn't artsy, I was gay. And I really started to despise that that was the whole of my identity back then," T.K. explained, looking at his boyfriend for his reaction. But Carlos still had that patient look on his face and continued to rub his back. So T.K. reached out for his hands, relieved when Carlos took them in his. He needed that contact to help ground him for the next part of his story.

"And that's what led me into drugs," T.K. confessed, ducking his head down, not able to meet Carlos's eyes. "I wanted to be the cool kid, so I started cutting class, smoking behind the school, getting high with a couple of the hottest guys and girls in the school. And I thought I had found my people." T.K. shook his head in disgust. He had been so desperate for attention back then.

T.K. fiddled with the watch that he still had on, carefully undoing the clasp and leaning to set it on the nightstand. "I got clean, I followed my dad's footsteps and became a firefighter, and then you know most of the rest," T.K. added, motioning with his hands to explain the rest, not wanting to bring up Alex and his relapse again.

"I get teased, sometimes, you know, for my choices in shirts?" T.K. explained, nodding his head in the direction of his floral button-up that was laid out gently on the chair in the bedroom. Carlos was looking confused now at what sounded like a change in topic, but he still let T.K. keep talking. Boy, did he love this man. "But it doesn't bother me because it's something I do for me. It's my choice and my decision to wear those shirts, and I like that I'm not following someone's expectations of what I should be wearing or looking like."

"Just like your choice to become a paramedic," Carlos finally spoke up, T.K. startling a bit at his injection into the conversation but agreeing with it completely.

"Yes, exactly," T.K. said, nodding his head in agreement. "I feel, I don't know, jealous I guess sometimes when I hear what everyone's interested in, like Marjan with her roller derby and Mateo with his superheroes. I don't really know what I'm interested in...I feel like I missed out on that part of my life." T.K. almost leaped back in surprise when he felt Carlos wipe a few tears that had trickled down his face. He didn't even realize that he had started crying. But he couldn't make any more words come out. He wanted to say that his life had been all about chasing that next high, trying to escape the grayness that he had felt all that time. Until he found Carlos. But he was emotionally spent at that point and couldn't seem to make the words come out.

Carlos pulled him into bed, covering them both up with the heavy duvet and burrowing into the sheets next to him. Reaching out, Carlos grabbed his hands again, and T.K. was thankful for the continued contact. "What about we try some new things then? Just the two of us or with the team if you want? We can make a list and check it off as we go,” Carlos suggested.

T.K. nodded; that sounded like a great idea. "Is there something you'd like to try that you haven't done before?" T.K. asked, glad that he was able to find his voice again.

"No laughing allowed, but I've always wanted to try a yoga class? But I always chickened out on my way in when I see the entire class is made up of women," Carlos whispered like it was a big confession.

"I can definitely help with that," T.K. said with a grin, thinking back to his dad talking about a great yoga studio that he had found in the city. "And nothing is embarrassing about yoga; it helps make you more flexible," T.K. added with a smirk, leaning in and nipping at Carlos's ear teasingly.

"Well, what about you? What's the first thing you'd like to try?" Carlos asked, trying not to react to T.K.'s teasing.

"Honestly, I'd be interested in going into a comic book shop and picking out some comics? I just don't really know where to start," T.K. said, looking at Carlos, half expecting him to laugh even though he really hoped that Carlos wouldn’t laugh at him. He wasn't expecting Carlos to jump out of bed and pull out a stack of his own comic books from the side dresser.

"You can start by reading these, this series is called the Old Guard, and it's amazing," his boyfriend gushed, and T.K. couldn't help but return his smile; his excitement was contagious. So T.K. promised that he would take the first volume into work and then, with his concerns eased, proceeded with the plans he had briefly thought of earlier that involved a lot less clothing….

XXXXX

The next few months were filled with absolute craziness. T.K. had gotten kidnapped, and their house had burnt down, and now they were in the stage of looking for a new place. But Carlos hadn’t forgotten the suggestion he made to T.K. that night to try new things. So that’s what they continued to do.

Carlos remembered how excited Mateo was when they asked him if he could show them his favourite comic stores in town, and they followed him around downtown Austin, trying to take in all of his knowledge on the subject, which was a lot. T.K. had come home armed with several first issues of a wide selection of comics, and the two of them dived into reading. They had found the best way to go about it was for each of them to read an issue while intertwined on the couch, then switching their books, reading again, and then they discussed what they liked and didn’t like about the comics. Carlos much preferred it over watching silly reality shows and wasn’t surprised when T.K.’s favourite superhero so far was Captain America. Mateo had even talked them into coming with him to the next comic convention whenever one was in town again, and he was only slightly surprised to be looking forward to it himself.

T.K. had managed to pull Carlos along for a yoga class recommended by Captain Strand of all people. And while Carlos felt ridiculously out of shape the entire class, he particularly enjoyed his view during the class. He had lined up his mat behind T.K.’s so he could try to follow along better, but really just ogled his boyfriend’s backside the whole time instead. Carlos checked that activity off his list, figuring he’d rather just do yoga privately….with T.K….in his bedroom.

They continued to attend several of Marjan’s roller derby sessions with the rest of the team. Still, T.K.’s own attempt with roller skates had almost resulted in a broken ankle, so they decided to stick to spectators as opposed to actual roller skating.

And last but not least, they tried couples’ Latin dancing, which included the salsa and the bachata. It had taken some hunting down, but they found a class that was specifically for same-sex couples and invited Marjan and Nancy to come along with them. This was something Carlos had wanted to try for a long time, and the rhythm and the steps came naturally to him. T.K. was having a bit more trouble with coordination but also seemed to be enjoying himself if the little smirks he kept shooting Carlos while he ground up against him were any indication.

Later that evening, Carlos and T.K. lay naked on the couch at their new condo. Both of them were trying to catch their breath after having just replicated one of their first hookups, including a brief pause in the bathroom of the dance studio on their way out. Carlos let his hand trace along T.K.’s hip as he leaned in for another passionate kiss. “Thank you, babe,” he said softly, his other hand going behind his neck to help prop himself up slightly.

“I was good, wasn’t I?’ T.K. said with a smirk, referring to the amazing sex they just had.

Carlos shook his head and then quickly nodded, realizing his error. “Babe, you were amazing,” Carlos said quickly, wanting to make sure that T.K. didn’t get the wrong impression. “But I was referring to the other night when you told me about not being a cool kid in high school.” He could see T.K.’s expression become one of confusion and then one of understanding as he remembered their discussion. “I never really said it, but I appreciate it when you tell me things like that. And I’ve really enjoyed all the new things that we’ve tried; lately, I just wanted you to know that.” Carlos explained, hoping he was getting across how much he was enjoying his time with T.K.

“Does that mean I can talk you into a Captain America cosplay with me?” T.K. said, jumping on the opportunity that presented itself.

Carlos chuckled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. “Sure, as long as you don’t want me to go as the Black Widow,” he joked and then looked alarmed at T.K.’s thoughtful expression.

“But babe, you would look so good in those leather pants -” T.K. said, as seriously as he could before falling into a fit of laughter.

Carlos only hugged him harder as he laughed along with T.K.

He was joking, of course...right?

#911prideweek #911 lone star #tarlos #coda S02:E07 #not a cool kid #day7 #dating adventures #Firehouse 126 Discord