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#clowniel
bruhlsbees · 6 months
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i’m not saying i’m back but the idea of revisiting clowniel is strong and might make me succumb to the old ways…..
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prcents · 3 years
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i can't stop thinking about clowniel, and it's all thanks to @bruhlsbees and hello i'm ghost nony 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️
the quality is really bad 🧎🏻‍♂️
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bruhlsbees · 1 year
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BRUHLSBEES OLD WORKS MASTERLISTS
a new and improved masterlist for all of my daniel bruhl, owen wilson, luke wilson, and murray bauman work. lately i've been on the cusp of getting back into a writing kick and a lot of my motivation for some of these pieces have gone right out the window (sorry to all my early followers). as much as i'd like to just delete these fics and move on i know some people do enjoy them so you'll find a lot of my early work either in the 'retired' section or in the 'early works' section. some retired pieces may be worked on in the future, but for now they'll remain in the void. thanks for understanding and hopefully i'll get more stuff out soon! :')
S MEANS SMUT
RETIREMENT HOME
garden of eden (alex kerner x reader) - click here
sweet disposition (alex kerner x reader) - click here
paradox burning (ernst schmidt x reader) - click here
to the end (niki lauda x reader) - click here
second chance (writer!daniel x reader) - click here
FINISHED PIECES
bubbles (helmut zemo x reader) - part one & two (s)
five more minutes (helmut zemo x reader) - click here
it was real enough (helmut zemo x heike zemo) - click here
the haunting of heike zemo (helmut zemo x heike zemo) - click here
behind the mask (helmut zemo x reader) - click here (s)
i'm going in tonight (alex kerner x reader) - click here (s)
opposites attract (alex kerner x reader) - click here
baby paula (alex kerner x reader) - click here
at the cabin (alex kerner x reader - click here
dancing in the rain (alex kerner x reader) - click here
sapphire strings (andrea marowski x reader) - click here
modern!flatmate! andrea x reader headcannons - nsfw version & sfw version
broken wing (dr. laszlo kreizler x reader) - click here
bloodlust (vampire! laszlo kreizler x reader) - click here
kachow (niki lauda x reader) - click here (s)
good luck charm (niki lauda x reader) - click here (s)
jackpot (dark!daniel x reader) - click here (s)
tom foolery (clowniel x reader) - part one & two (s)
the first time (ernst schmidt x reader) - click here (s)
welcome home (chris burnett x reader) - click here
better man (ken hutchinson x reader) - click here (s)
the last night (anthony adams x reader) - click here
knock three times (murray bauman x reader) - click here (s)
murray bauman nsfw alphabet - part one & two (s)
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bruhlsbees · 6 months
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haven't seen you in so long! you said you moved to a new account, what's your new account?
my only other active account is my personal tumblr and this is my only active fanfic/fandom blog! i plan on revamping this blog in the near future to have it reflect newer fandoms i've gotten into (mainly animangas).
i'm hoping with nanowrimo beginning in just a few days i'll slowly get back into the writing scene, my goal is to have something posted at least once a week until i get a writing routine built into my schedule.
i was going to try and participate in kinktober this year but failed miserably so maybe i'll still write those prompts and post them throughout the month, i also want to revamp the clowniel series but not sure how i want to approach that yet just bc its been a hot min since i've even thought about that.
who knows what'll happen but i can at least say i'm back and excited to be on this side of tumblr again and hopefully catch back up with some old mutuals <3
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bruhlsbees · 2 years
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tom foolery ; 2/2 || clown!daniel x fem!reader
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summary: your husband comes home early and discovers an unlikely sight, leading to a pent up rage that had been waiting to spill
pairing: clown!daniel x fem!reader
word count: 3,980
warnings: violence, swearing, cheating, 18+, minors dni, no smut but my blog is 18+
a/n: thank you all so much for your patience on this! while this completes the tom foolery story of clowniel and momma!reader's introduction, i still have plenty of ideas for future pieces!
taglist: @sabinemorans @boneheadduluc @somethingthatsaysbubbles @spookyanabarnes @nonamec0s @nbraraeaves @rosemaremembrance @rumblelibrary @vverliebt @lucylikesmarvel @melchills-j @godidontevenknowwhat @scuttle-buttle @mypoisonedvine @creme-bruhlee @stephyra @buckyhoneybaby @readingtimee @ajeff855 @clints-lucky-arrow @lemairepstuff @aarielsea @daniel-bruhhl @mybisexualheartbeatsforzemo @im-a-bi-disaster-help @baronofmischief @sithlordpadawan @zemos-katzchen @bigtiddythanos @skutra @crackedout @pamelasensei @lorna-d-m
You never firmly believed in anything - that is of a higher being that had your life planned for you, but what you did believe in was karma. That the choices you made would only come back to bite you in the ass.
And yours stung.
“Joshua, what are you-“
“-Doing back early? I called to tell you, but you didn’t answer your phone,” He glanced at Daniel before back at you and your disheveled state, “I can see now though why you didn’t answer me.”
Pulling back from Daniel, you shook your head and took a few steps forward across the asphalt, “Joshua, it’s not what it looks like.”
Before you could reach out, he took a step back, brows narrowing as he looked down at you in disbelief.
“Not what it looks like? And what is this supposed to look like?” Motioning towards you, he let out a laugh, “Cause it looks to me like you got fucked by this loser.”
He has heard it all before: loser, worthless, idiot, you name it - so Daniel was more than capable of letting Joshua’s insults roll off his back.
Daniel had encountered many mishaps throughout his time as a party clown.
There was the time a child bit him - left him with such a deep puncture wound that it sent him to the emergency room...the drug bust that sent him to the county’s correctional facility due to him being a witness...and the time he had to do an entire act for one middle-aged man who in the end tried to sleep with him.
But never, never, would he have expected to be in a situation like this.
He was certain there was probably a spot in his handbook that explained the reasons as to why you shouldn’t fuck a kid’s mom that he was putting on an act for, but the people must have been idiots to not put at least something down for the ‘what-ifs’ that fell into the realm of actually going through with it.
So, what was he supposed to do?
The logical answer was to simply turn around and walk away - leave the marriage problems to the two involved, but the other part of him, the one that cared deeply for you and didn’t want to just leave you with your psychotic husband - he knew he had to stay.
In a fit of nerves, toying with the hem of his shirt, the words began to crawl up his throat and sit in the back of his mouth, biting down on his tongue to not blurt out the obvious. But still, to his avail, the words came out anyway.
“I fucked your wife!”
Damn.
Turning around, Daniel watched as your gaze fixed on him, eyes wide with an expression of ‘you had to point out the obvious’ painted on your face.
“Yeah, well no shit you fucked my wife. Any other obvious points you wanna point out?”
Crossing his arms over his broad chest, your husband waited for Daniel to answer, tapping his foot impatiently and ignoring the hushed pleads from you.
“Joshua...please, let’s just go-”
“No! No, I’d like to hear what he has to say. Cause you aren’t much help right now, starin’ at me like a dead fish.”
Shrinking down, you looked down at your shoes with a sigh. At this point, you didn’t care what Daniel or your husband had to say, you just wanted to go home.
“Any day now, clown. Some of us have real lives we need to get back to.” Joshua sneered.
Looking over towards you, Daniel frowned and let his shoulders sink a little, feeling defeated himself. He knew he wasn’t your husband, nor your friend - after all, he had only met you that day - but did that mean he had to just ignore the obvious abuse going on between the two of you?
Taking a step forward, Daniel stood now in front of you, blocking you from Joshua’s view before craning his neck up to look at the towering man.
“You’re an asshole, you know that? Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out,” Daniel paused, watching Joshua’s reaction as he was taken back a bit by the words Daniel spoke, “You got a good thing in front of you but instead you’re out fucking whores that don’t stand up to you, let you walk over them. I don’t care if I’m just a clown, and frankly, I don’t care what you think of me, but I’m not going to stand here and listen to you talk to her like tha-”
The sudden crack to the jaw sent Daniel stumbling back into you, the two of you colliding onto the pavement with you on your back and him in your arms, groaning from the rough punch to the jaw from your husband.
Holding onto Daniel tightly, you lifted your body up enough to inspect his face, worried at the possibility of him suffering from a greater injury than what met the eye.
“Daniel! Oh my goodness, are you okay?”
He knew you were only trying to show that you cared and were worried, but God, did it look like he was okay? He just got his ass handed to him by a 6’3 lunatic who just caught his wife cheating on him by a party clown.
But you were kind, too kind for him, and all he could do was nod, turning his head enough to give you a weary smile before placing his hands on your knees, pushing himself back up to his feet with a groan, rolling his eyes at the laughs that came from Joshua.
“So the party clown wants more, eh? Fine, I could do this all night, doesn’t bother me.”
Catching his breath, Daniel stood up straight, raising his fists up to prepare for whatever blow he was going to get hit with.
“Joshua, enough! This is ridiculous. Let’s just go home! There is no reason for this! Please!” You begged, flinching as you watched with watery eyes your husband deliver another punch, this time to the stomach of Daniel.
You felt sick to your stomach, yes you knew your husband was awful, but for him to act so violently? You knew his ego was crushed to nothing knowing his wife had been fucked good and well by a clown, but to get this way - it was frightening.
Covering your ears, you brought your knees to your chest, eyes locked on the scene in front of you as Joshua now climbed on top of Daniel, pinning him into the asphalt before his large hands wrapped around his throat.
‘He’s going to get off, he will, he’s not going to kill him.’ You found yourself telling yourself, almost to make yourself believe your husband wasn’t a killer.
But two seconds turned into too many, and the sight of Daniel’s purple face made your stomach drop.
“Joshua…” You whispered, “You’re killing him.”
The sight in front of you would have made anyone grow uneasy, sick at the sight of the large man on top of the smaller man who was thrashing under him, squirming to get out of his tight grip and gasping for air.
“Stop it. Josh, please. He’s going to die.”
“Oh come on now, babe, I’m just teaching the prick a little lesson. I’m not going to hurt him. Right, Daniel?” Joshua hummed, loosening his grip to yank him up by his collar, “Actually, can I call you Dan? I feel like I can - seems you and I are close now, hell, we’ve been inside the same woman.”
Dazed out of the lack of oxygen, Daniel could hardly keep his eyes open, rolling in and out of the back of his head before his gaze fixed to you, only for his face to be squished in the hand of Joshua to bring his attention back to him.
“Ah, ah, ah. What are you looking at? You keep her eyes off her, or you’re gonna wish you were dead.”
Letting out a cough, Daniel nodded, lulling his head back and out of Joshua’s grip before catching his breath, rocking back and forth as his senses came back to him.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Daniel mumbled to himself, though Daniel already knew that Joshua knew the answer to that one.
“I’ve been told once or twice. Doesn’t get to me, as I’m sure you wish it would.”
Before Joshua could fully climb off Daniel, he took one final look at the pathetic man under him, laughing at the sight of the bruises and blood that stained him.
“Losers like you will always be losers. Don’t think you trying to be the knight in shining armor to her is going to change that.”
Glaring at the back of his head, you felt your fists ball into fists and shake at your sides, your own pent-up anger now erupting.
“Come on, babe. Let’s go home. You can make me dinner and maybe I’ll forgive you for fucking this lo-”
Nobody in that parking lot was expecting what came next. Your short figure whirling back your fist and connecting it with your husband’s nose as he turned around, not even able to finish his sentence before he stumbled over Daniel and landed on his own ass.
“What the fuck?!” Joshua screeched, holding his now bleeding nose, “You broke my nose you bitch!”
Daniel, still trying to catch his breath, watched with his mouth gaped open as you climbed on top of your husband, scrambling with him to scratch and hit at whatever you could make contact with. It was well deserved, that much he knew, but Daniel wasn’t an idiot and had dealt with guys like your husband before - if he wanted to, he’d ruin your life just from you breaking his nose.
Gathering the energy to stand, Daniel let out a grunt as he stumbled, moving weakly towards you, ears ringing at your screams that echoed into the night.
“Hey, stop it,” Daniel began, gently placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to pull your attention away, “He’s not worth it.”
Gasping for air, you leaned back on Joshua’s lap, fists still raised to go back for more punches before you processed what Daniel was saying to you. With your chest heaving, you looked up at Daniel, tears streaming down your cheeks, blinking blankly at him before realizing what you had done.
“Shh, stop it, don’t get that way. Come on, grab on, let’s just go.” Grabbing onto your biceps, Daniel pulled you up and close to his chest, holding you in his arms as he watched Joshua’s movements carefully to make sure he wouldn’t try anything else.
“So what, you’re just going to leave? Go back to the house? The house I bought?” Joshua began, sitting up from his spot on the asphalt, glaring towards the two of you. “You know it’s not as easy as walking away from all this.”
As much as Daniel wished you would just ignore him, continue on, and back to the van where he would take you home, he knew you deserved to be the one to have the final say.
“It will be because if you want your name to stay clean, your reputation - you’ll pack your shit up and leave. Sign those divorce papers willingly when they come, and stay the fuck out of my life you miserable, wretched little bitch.”
Pulling away, you turned and peered down at Joshua from his spot below you, pulling your wedding bands off your finger and tossing them into his lap.
“And while you’re at it, choke on those for me.”
Turning back towards Daniel, you smiled tiredly at him before motioning towards the van, “Come on, let’s get out of here, yeah?”
Feelings his cheeks grow pink, Daniel smiled and nodded, watching as you took his hand and pulled him towards the van, letting him in and getting in yourself before driving out of the rest stop and onto the highway, going back home.
* * *
There was a light feeling inside of your soul that night when you pulled into your parking lot, the garage opening, and you driving the van inside before letting the door shut behind you. For the first time in too long, you had stood up to your husband, said your peace of mind, and left the asshole to fend for himself.
You knew he was adamant on believing that without him you couldn’t make it, but you were determined to prove him wrong.
Not realizing how lost in your thoughts you had been, you jumped slightly at the sound of Daniel clearing his throat beside you.
“Sorry,” He began sheepishly, “I could just tell you were lost in your thoughts and didn’t want you to spiral.”
Shaking your head, you brought your hand up to your face, rubbing your eyes tiredly, “No, I appreciate it. I just-”
You let out a sigh and slouched in your seat, “God, this night has been such a mess.”
Daniel wasn’t sure how to help in this situation, what the best thing would be for him to say, but he knew that having you sulk in your van all night wouldn’t help anything.
“How about we figure all this out in the morning? Let’s go inside and clean up, yeah?”
Feeling his hand rest on your thigh, your gaze trailed up his arm and to his face, where he smiled sympathetically at you. Nodding tiredly, you placed your hand over his, squeezing it for a moment before climbing out of the van, leading him into the house.
From there you led him to the bathroom, pulling out some towels for him before motioning at his clothes.
“I’m sure there are some old clothes of his around, if you don’t mind wearing them, I can wash these for you for the time being, if you’d like.” Even after everything, your mind was still running at what was normal for you - the chores of a housewife and stay-at-home mother.
But Daniel wouldn’t allow that, he wouldn’t let you busy yourself when you deserved the same come down he needed.
Shaking his head, Daniel shut the door and placed his hands on your shoulders, “If it’s not overstepping, why don’t we just clean up, go to bed, and figure all this out in the morning?”
You couldn’t help but smile, laughing a little to yourself at his comment, “Overstepping? I think we did that a long time ago,” Nodding your head, you pulled away from Daniel, beginning to pull off your clothes, “A shower does sound nice…”
And it had been. The silence was comforting that came from the two of you while sharing the shower that steamed the bathroom. You hadn’t expected Daniel to be so tentative with washing your hair and back for you, going so far as to even dry you off before the two of you began to retire towards the bedroom.
Nothing felt different for you when walking into the bedroom. You couldn’t remember the last time you and Joshua had even shared the bedroom, but you weren’t all that surprised when Daniel found himself stuck in the doorway, unsure as to whether or not he should step foot inside.
“You know, I can just sleep on the couch-”
“Daniel,” You began, cutting him off, “Just come to bed.”
Smiling small, Daniel nodded and obliged, moving across the room to the opposite side of the bed you were on, climbing in under the covers and letting his body sink into the plush mattress.
After the long day, the two of you found yourself with a loss of words, both staring blankly at the ceiling, watching as the fan spun in a circle, after circle, after circle.
Daniel was almost asleep and figured you had been long asleep, before hearing you speak up.
“I don’t think I ever said it, but, thank you, for not leaving me with him,” You began, clearing your throat, “You know, you had every right to do so, but you didn’t and I-”
When you fell short, Daniel turned his head towards you, watching as you wiped away your stray tears with the back of your hand, “I just don’t think I’ve ever had someone care about me so much, let alone someone I just met.”
Smiling, Daniel rolled onto his side, inching his way towards you before wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you in to close the gap, moving his hand up to brush away your tears with his thumb.
“If I left you there, I wouldn’t have been any better than him. I’m just glad you didn’t get any more hurt than you did is all,” He tried to ignore the bruises on your back in the shower from when the two of you fell, but he also knew that you were suffering injuries on the inside - both mentally and emotionally. “I just- just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere, so long as you let me stay around.”
The confession surprised you, though you were too tired to react the way you probably had if you were more alert.
“You’re not a loser…” You mumbled tiredly, feeling your eyes begin to droop shut heavily, “And you’re not just...just a clown…”
Before you could properly finish your thoughts, you were snoring lightly in Daniel’s arms, curled up in his arms while he held you, a smile on his face.
* * *
He wasn’t expecting to be so nervous when he rang the doorbell, the bouquet of flowers in shades of oranges, yellows, and reds bundled in his right hand. With his left hand, he quickly adjusted the tie he was wearing and brushed back the loose pieces of hair that fell from his man bun.
It had been two weeks since meeting you. Two weeks of texting, nightly phone calls that lasted until one of you, usually you, fell asleep on the call, to now having your first proper date.
The universe had to cut him some slack, the last time Daniel went on a real date was, well, he couldn’t even remember how long it had been.
What he was not expecting in the slightest, however, was for the door to open and a little kid to answer - your kid for that matter.
“Oh! Hey there, uh, must have the wrong house. I’m looking for-”
“You’re the clown from Ava’s party, aren’t you?” Your son, Liam, asked, pushing his round glasses up at the bridge of his nose.
Not being able to help himself, Daniel sank to his knees with a laugh, matching his height, “How did you know? Was it that obvious?”
With a grin, Liam leaned back a bit, shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t see many boys with long hair. Plus, I heard Momma on the phone with Grandma talking and she mentioned something about a friend stopping by from Ava’s birthday party.”
Nodding his head, Daniel carefully listened before looking the kid up and down. He certainly was your son, and he made a mental note about how he hoped this kid didn’t have any traits for your shitty soon-to-be ex-husband.
“Well, you probably know then that my real name isn’t Dandy? It’s Daniel, but you can call me Dan if you’d like. What about you?”
And Daniel listened, listened as Liam began to ramble about himself, going so far as to even sit on the front porch as he continued to talk about school, his interests, and other random facts the kid could spit out.
It made Daniel wonder, did Joshua ever listen to Liam?
When Daniel heard your voice call for Liam from inside, making your way into the doorway and out onto the porch, stopping with a sigh of relief when you saw Liam.
“Liam, honey, you scared me. What have I told you about opening the door for people you don’t know?” You caught a glimpse and Daniel and smiled, making a mental note to tell him later how good he looked with his hair pulled back, before bending down to scoop Liam up in your arms, hugging him tight and kissing his head.
“He’s your friend, Momma! I didn’t want him to wait outside for you.” Liam explained, wrapping his arms around your neck, resting his head against your shoulder.
“I’m sure Daniel appreciates it honey, but you worried me is all. I just want to make sure you’re safe.” Kissing the top of his head again, you squeezed him once before letting him go and run back into the house where his toys were.
Turning back to Daniel, you smiled, pushing your hair back out of your face, “I’m sorry for having to change out date plans, I hope you don’t mind just hanging out at the house? I couldn’t find anyone to watch Liam and I didn’t want to call off-”
But before you could finish your apology, Daniel leaned forward and pressed his lips to your own, gently pushing the bouquet into your hands before pulling away.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I’m glad we could still hang out. You sure he won’t mind me being around? I just don’t want to confuse him or anything.” Daniel expressed, reaching out to tuck the stray pieces of hair behind your ears.
Shaking your head, you brought the bouquet to your nose and inhaled the sweet scent, sighing pleasantly and smiling when you felt Daniel’s lips press against your temple. “He knows you as my friend, but he does know that we aren’t together anymore - him and his father. He doesn’t seem too fazed by it though, surprisingly, but I don’t want to rush anything on him, with us that is.”
Turning to go back into the house, Daniel followed, shutting the door behind him and taking his shoes off before stepping onto the carpet. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch into a smirk.
“And what are we?” He teased, leaning against the door as you looked up at him, shaking your head.
“Well, you’re the only clown I’m seeing if that’s what you mean.” You whispered, blinking at him as he snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you in close.
“Good, and you’re the only mom I’m seeing.”
Rolling your eyes, you felt him pepper soft kisses to your face and neck, laughing at the swats you gave him before pushing him back, “Why must you always refer to me as the mo-”
“Momma! Are you coming in?”
Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh and shook your head, earning a laugh from Daniel as his point was proven.
Standing still in his spot, Daniel smiled as he watched you move through the living room and into the kitchen, placing the bouquet into a vase and displaying them on the island counter while Liam played at the counter with his race cars.
“Daniel! Do you want to come play cars with me? You can play with my favorite blue car!” Liam called, waving for Daniel to come over.
Daniel had encountered many mishaps throughout his time as a party clown.
There was the time he nearly got shit-faced at a kid’s birthday party, the time he slept with a kid’s mom, and later that same night - fought the mom’s shitty husband.
The life of a party clown meant anything but normal for Daniel, but what he never thought was to have the chance of some form of normality - and standing now in the kitchen with you and your son, playing cars with a young boy who reminded himself too much of him when he was younger - Daniel knew that this was the life he could get used to.
A life of normality, in a strange way, for a party clown.
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bruhlsbees · 3 years
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The way that I made an entirely new tumblr account to send this because I’m so embarrassed of taking the horny joke too far anyways here’s a shitty rendering of clowniel thank you for your service
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i’m lit weeping this is so sweet omg 😭
this is so stinken cute i love him 🥺 you did such a wonderful job on this, it’s not shitty at all!! thank you!!!!! 🥺❤️
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