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#clown mind
pencilscratchins · 2 months
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to everyone asking when i’m gonna post art again… hey guys i recently acquired six incredibly large clown paintings so i’m sort of booked at the moment
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sualne · 4 months
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cross guild plays uno
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alfheimr · 6 months
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return of oc "marmalade" who prior to running away to the circus was a tailor who simply hated making clothes for other people. they just want to make fun fits for themself...... perhaps an exception can be made for the captain...........
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Astarion Jealousy Part 2
The graphic extension to this but a lil less serious and definitely not sfw.
CW: Jealous spawn astarion who is still a sweetheart, but the drow twins get under his skin. graphic sex scenes, oral, relatively tame honestly. The sex part will be under the cut btw which is m/f. Also vampire man drinks blood. mentionable incorrect language for sex workers
~
It was odd, being home in Baldur’s Gate without the threat of Cazador always looming. Odd, but equally as wonderful. It had been so thoughtful, if not a little idiotic for Cazador to end up being your first stop in the city. The fight itself had been a blur, a barrage of intense emotions and bloody violence. Astarion had come so close to losing himself back there, losing everything that made him better than the man who almost ruined him. But then… you stopped him. You saw something more in him, a chance for a better life. A more meaningful life, away from the shackles of vampiric power obsessions. 
He was officially free. Now he could exist without any fear of his disgusting master’s retribution. He could just… be. Well… not including his darling’s own myriad of enemies that seemed to follow them about everywhere. And there was still the matter of defeating the elder brain, and lord knows if any of you made it through that alive. But at least his personal demons were slain and out of the picture.
Every little step counted after all. Perhaps some of your delusional hopefulness had finally started to rub off on him, but Astarion was actually starting to look forward to his future. Your future, together. All he had to do was get through a few more perilous adventures and then he’d really have you all to himself. 
All that said, Astarion could really go without the frequent visits to the local brothel. Was it the best place in the city for gathering information? Yes. It seemed that every walk of life in Baldur’s Gate found their way into Shar’s Caress and if you were going to find alternative passage to the underworld, this would be the best place to find it. But that didn’t mean he had to like it. For one there were the unwelcome advances to his own person, the concept of grace and personal space apparently left at the door. He was so very close to breaking the hand of the next person who thought it was appropriate to grab his ass. And if they could afford to get kicked out he would have by now. Your verbal, angry tirades in his defense could only scare off so many. 
But as terrible as his own discomfort was, it was nothing in the face of how often you were being fawned over. What was it about you that seemed to drive everyone mad? Yes you were objectively attractive, but this was frankly getting out of hand. First there was the green skinned druid doing something sensual to your mind, then there were the general stares and whispers as you walked by, and now a pair of gorgeous drow twins trying and failing to proposition you. 
It was getting tiresome. There were only so many times a man could take his lover being offered “free” services before he snapped. 
On one hand, he could respect the dedication they had to the craft. He could be considered something of a hired whore himself in his time, the old, “the first one’s free” was a tried and true trick. And he also knew, vaguely, that no one was actually trying to steal you from him. But on the other, he couldn’t help the fact that he wanted to claw their eyes out for looking at you so brazenly.
He hadn’t expected the eyes of the woman to wander over to him, like she was just noticing the possessive arm he had wrapped around your waist, “Is that your partner with you? How would you both feel about having a little fun?”
Absolutely fucking not. Maybe the old Astarion would have smiled and nodded, ready to do whatever was asked of him. But the man from that wretched era had died, or at the very least was dying. And he would be damned if he let you lay with another, never less participate in it. 
Astarion interrupted your overly-polite attempts stuttering of a refusal. He glared at them both, a sneer painted on his face, “We’ll be passing on that. You’d think the first no would have sufficed, but I suppose it’s not fair to expect everyone to have basic language comprehension. Now as illuminating as this conversation has been, we have places to be. Excuse us.”
Then he was pulling you away, happy to ignore the offended huffs of indignation he had left in his wake. 
“We’re supposed to be investigating, remember?” You said with a giggle, not even questioning him as he dragged you to the second floor, “Being rude is not the way we’ll find travel to the hells.”
“I highly doubt they would have been of use,” Astarion said as he pushed you into the first empty room he could find. He felt off, maybe even a little crazed as he turned to you, “Tell me darling, what is it about you that makes you so irresistible, hm?”
He crowded you against the closed door, ducking his head into the crook of your neck to breath you in. You smelled heavenly, you always did. He could trace the barest whiff of your blood from beneath your skin, always calling to him. You were the sweetest thing he ever tasted. Delicious even, for more reasons than one. 
“T-They just wanted my coin,” You gasped when he started to suck bruises into your skin, “That’s all.”
“I think they wanted a bit more than that,” Astarion bit out as he shoved his thigh between your legs, “What will it take for others to realize you’re mine.”
His hands were wandering, resting low to grip your hips. He was using them to move you, forcing you to grind against his thigh. You grasped at his shoulders, trying to bite back a moan as you stared at him with wide eyes, “You want to do it here? Does that door even lock?”
It looked like it didn’t, not that Astarion cared. Maybe walking in on him ravishing you would finally start getting the point across of who you belonged to. Astarion shrugged, "There are less appropriate venues than literal whore houses."
“But-”
“But I can tell you want it,” Astarion interrupted with a smirk, his hands barely working to move your body anymore. But that wasn’t stopping you from rubbing yourself all over him, “Just look at you darling. Desperate little thing. But if you really don’t want to…”
Astarion made a lazy attempt to step back, laughing out loud when your desperately pulled him back, your desire finally winning out over your common sense. But you were glaring at him, obviously annoyed that he was so good at riling you up. He had seen that look before, the one that just screamed that you were scheming something. 
He just hadn’t expected you to drop to your knees in front of him, huffing as you started to undo the fastenings to his pants, “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit of a shit?”
“Maybe,” Astarion said with a strained laugh, his breath catching when you pulled his half-hard cock out, “But it seems to keep getting me the things I want.”
You rolled your eyes before licking a wide strip up his cock, like you weren’t directly proving his point. You looked amazing own there, you’re half-hearted glare morphing into a blissful haze. 
Gods, how were you real? Astarion wasn’t quite sure why you were such a fan of getting him down your throat, but he knew that he was a lucky bastard for it. 
“Sweet girl,” Astarion sighed, letting a hand drift down to tangle in your hair, “Sweet girl with a perfect mouth. And you’re all mine, aren’t you?”
You made a small, affirmative noise around his cock, taking him in deeper as you clutched at his thighs. You were so good at this, so well-trained after months of being together. He loved the soft, wet sounds that would escape your lips as you swallowed him down, the pretty way your eyes would water as you encouraged him to fuck your throat, how you would squirm in place on your knees, no doubt ruining your panties with how wet you were getting. 
And no one else would ever know. No one would get to see you like this again, feel you like this. Needy, desperate, and his. Oddly enough, that thought was what sent him over the edge. He came down your throat, groaning as you eagerly swallowed around him. 
You pulled off of him slowly, panting while you smiled up at him. There was the smallest string of spit mixed with his come, connecting from the head of his cock to your lips. You licked it up, still clinging to his thighs as you hazily stared up at him. Sweet enough to make his heart skip a beat, and his dick give a valiant twitch.
He pulled you to your feet, not wasting any time in smashing your lips together. He spun you around, pushing you towards what he prayed was a clean bed. 
He pushed you back onto the sheets, making quick work of tearing your pants down your legs as he grinned down at you, “Your turn.”
He kneeled in front of you; spreading his hands over your splayed thighs to peel off your underwear. The core of you was already glistening, slick enough to make Astarion’s mouth water. He licked his lips as he spread your legs further apart, shameless as he feasted on you with his eyes. 
You were shaking in his hold, biting your bottom lip when you whined, “Stop staring already…”
“But you’re so pretty here my sweet,” Astarion cooed, tracing a single finger over the seam of your cunt, “And you’re dripping. Poor thing, have I kept you waiting too long?”
You nodded excitedly above him, your hips bucking when he let his fingers dip in further between your pussy lips. He lightly traced your clit, softly laughing at the way the simple touch made you whine.
It was his own fault that you were so needy, a fact that brought a smirk to his lips. You always got so wet after you had him down your throat, soaked and gorgeous. 
Astarion dove right in, loudly moaning as he licked into your folds. He dragged his lips upward to suckle on your clit, basking in all the cries and whimpers escaping you.
He licked back down, teasing your hole with his tongue as your legs quivered around his head. He let the sharpness of his fangs scrape against you as he started to fuck you with his tongue, threatening your most intimate places.
He knew you liked that; little minx that you were. The slight risk of pain that was always looming. It made him want to sink his fangs in you for real, a hunger that he'd sate after he had you gushing into his mouth.
You were already close, he could tell from the way your cunt was tightening around his tongue; too worked up from the thrill of being in public and the taste of him still lingering on your tongue. Astarion trailed talented fingers up to rub against your clit, his tongue still curling inside of you as you cried out. Finally falling over the edge. But that wasn't stopping him from continuing to play with you.
You had to tug on Astarion’s hair for him to finally pull away, too over sensitive to handle his talented tongue. You were still trembling by the time he leaned back, licking his lips. He rested his head on your thigh, obviously pleased with himself as he grinned up at you. He could feel your heart racing against his cheek, the sound of your blood pumping singing through your veins. It had his mouth watering for a completely different reason. 
He let his fangs drag against the delicate skin of your inner thigh, looking up at you through his lashes, "Can I?"
A superfluous question. Not when he already knew the answer before it escaped your lips.
“Y-yeah," You mumbled, lovingly gazing down at him. He would never tire of seeing that look on your face, "But be gentle? Please?” 
"Of course my love," Astarion murmured, before promptly sinking his fangs into your flesh. He had to hold you down from the way you were still trembling, your quivering only getting worse at the pleasure mixed with pain. He didn’t let himself go rabid, just enough to get a taste. He was pulling back too soon, smiling to himself at the little whine you let out. He gently licked over the wound before standing, not yet swallowing the last drops on his tongue.
Instead he leaned forward to kiss you, more than happy to share the sweet taste of your blood as he slipped his tongue into your mouth.
“Thank you my dear,” Astarion sighed as he pulled away, “That was exactly what I needed. Now I think that’s enough investigating for one day.” 
You sighed, taking the time to card your fingers through his hair, “Agreed. Though you might have to carry me out of here now.”
Wasn’t that a wonderful idea?
Astarion hummed as he pulled your clothing back on, “I think I like the sound of that," He didn't give you time to respond, too busy sweeping you up in his arms with a grin, "I'll be taking you up on that."
You squeaked when he hefted you up, bridal style, “I wasn’t being serious!”
But it was too late, Astarion was already kicking the door open. He shrugged at you, completely shameless as he winked at a few onlookers, "Then you shouldn't have suggested it."
You groaned, hiding your face in his shirt as he happily took you outside, “I’m going to get you back for this. I hope you know that.”
Astarion laughed as he kissed the top of your head, “I’m sure you will.”
It was a childish stunt, borderline on par with a jealous tantrum, but gods, did it feel good. Good enough to sate Astarion's obsessive tendencies for an impressive amount of time. Under normal circumstances. 
But what about your lives were normal?
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aimbutmiss · 3 months
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I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THIS SEQUENCE Zoro looks so concerned
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coffit0 · 1 month
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This happened in canon btw I was there trust me
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so, a while ago, there was a dcxdp prompt that was like "Danny Fenton gets hired by the Justice League and slowly realizes that he was hired to hunt down Danny Phantom with Justice League Dark, so he has to gaslight gatekeep girlboss his way out of it" (link in the replies if you find it bc i can't)
but what if this prompt was more chaotic?
like, dani learns whats happening and instead of trying to get her template out of this, she decides to make it worse.
the team discovers the daughter of Ghost King Phantom (and Dani should probably have a different name in ghost form, maybe a star name? Maybe she can shapeshift into her original age, so she looks five) is sabotaging their work. when they finally capture her, she immediately latches onto Danny.
Dani: Papa! Danny, immediately: I'm not your dad! Dani, eyes tearing up with devious glee: I don't care if you and Daddy got divorced. You're still my Papa and I still love you! Danny: what. Constantine: YOU WERE MARRIED TO THE BLOODY GHOST KING!?
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extrashortshorts · 3 months
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CrocGuild 2: doing who knows what
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cozylittleartblog · 5 months
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is this the tragic clown the sims warned me about
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These guys are so silly!
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kalofi · 6 months
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hello girl i want you
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theteapotofdoom · 6 months
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Me: And it’s so crazy, it’s so crazy you see? Because they weren’t just shipmates, they were childhood friends! They literally grew up side by side together on the same ship! And for the longest time, they just couldn’t imagine a life separated from each other you know what I mean? It’s like … when they were making plans for the future, it was always together, the other was always included! But the craziest thing in all of this, is that Buggy was SO devoted to Shanks, you know? Buggy thought the world of Shanks. He saw him as the future pirate king, he saw him as the sun, the light, as the man that would lead them to the One Piece. The future King Of The Pirates. Like, you don’t understand, Buggy purposely stepped away from the spotlight FOR SHANKS! He was contempt just being by his side because he believed in Shanks THAT MUCH! And you know, I think Buggy always knew that he wasn’t special, you know what I mean? He knows he isn’t the chosen one, he knows he isn’t the stuff of legends. But he was fine with it because he had Shanks and he could follow Shanks into hell if Shanks asked him to. SO LIKE when Shanks told him that he was no longer looking for the one piece? When Shanks told him he no longer wanted to be king of the pirates? It shattered Buggy’s world. Nothing made sense anymore. Imagine Luffy telling that to Zoro! That was a true heartbreak. But the craziest fucking thing in all of this??? Shank’s doesn’t realize that! Shanks was heartbroken when Buggy left him because he didn’t even understand why! He didn’t even understand what it all meant to Buggy and why it was such a betrayal for him! And now so many fucking years later they are separated and they’re both bitter and tired … and they’re different people but also they’re still the two little boys on that ship and they just both WON’T COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER and it’s fucking crazy because it’s the divorce of the century but it’s also a one sided divorce because Buggy never properly communicated his hurt to Shanks and Shanks never stopped loving Buggy and is always happy to see him and would probably love to sail with him again but also I think that Buggy has to find who he his and who he can be without Shanks and I just really want them to meet again, do you know what I’m saying?
My cat, looking at me with huge empty eyes: damn girl, that’s fucking crazy.
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emilylprentiss · 1 month
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Aaron Hotchner Criminal Minds 5.21
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sreppub · 10 months
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I saw your selfie!Jason au and was hit with the sudden crack idea that instead of UtRH happening Jason just kinda finishes school and goes to college under an ID from Talia. Damian knows him and knows he's a selkie, Damian does not know if he's allowed to straight up tell Bruce about Jason because the whole Talia not telling him and giving jay a secret id
Anyway I established all of that for the crack idea of Jason realizing Damian goes to the zoo like a lot and makes it his life's mission to break into the seal exhibit when Damian is there to fuck with him and get him to look even more unhinged than he actually is and this is eventually how he gets found out by the bats as being alive and in Gotham. Because Jason couldn't just not give his baby brother a hard time in the most extra way possible
That's such a deranged big brother thing to do 😂 stare Damian down FROM INSIDE the seal exhibit??????
Please the kid is just trying to do some animal sketches not spend 6 hours wondering if he hallucalinated that seal winking at him
Side note i love when jason is just not a vigilante. Yasss let that boy go to college and be a normie
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clownsuu · 10 months
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Question... Robbie.... In the mob au? 👀
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Get girlie popped KDHDHDH
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At first I really wanted to make him like- completely unnoticeable and nobody fuggin remembers him despite being a member JDHDHFHHF- but I wanted to make him interact with Dr.Stone so instead he’s a member thats just rarely seen anymore (Wally totally didn’t get rid of him cause he kept being fuggin annoyin)
kinda all brawls no brains like sally- used to chaotically collect debts peeps have with the ol mob (still does but significantly less since now he’s a fetcher for Dr Stone for more harder to get goods the mob needs. The mob technically can go without the help of Dr.Stone, however he is a middle man that knows just about everything needed for successful heists/deals with his knowledge and name alone)
also? This dude doesn’t know what a bed is he sleeps on just about anything (can sleep like a baby face first in a trash can)
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little-pondhead · 3 months
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Danny moved to Gotham.
Freakshow is touring in Gotham.
Freakshow knows Danny is in Gotham.
Danny knows Freakshow is still after him.
Danny's faith in heroes has been shattered.
Danny turns to the only person powerful enough to run Freakshow out of town, hopefully for good.
Danny turns to the Joker for help.
The Joker is looking for a new punching bag sidekick after Harley Quinn left him.
Danny is just the perfect person to be shaped by the Joker's hands.
Danny becomes the new Joker Junior.
#pondhead blurbs#dpxdc#how we feeling about this fellas#i think it's an ideal angst fic#but i don't wanna write it lol#the younger danny is the worse it gets#someone said that danny shouldn't be afraid of the joker because he's a clown and freakshow is a ringmaster. not a clown#if i find that post i'll tag the creator cause i can't remember rn#but i'm imagining danny who is heavily traumatized and scared and lonely#finding out that one of his worst enemies he hoped to never see again is hunting him and is so close danny has to check his eyes every day#just to make sure they haven't turned red#his anxiety is out of control and he's not about to go find a Bat or Bird to talk to#who would believe him anyways? he's a monster#but danny needs help cause he will not survive this on his own and he knows it#freakshow haunts his every waking dream#but freakshow isn't from gotham. he doesn't have the city's curses engraved into his blood. he never died and he's not truly teasing death#so danny chooses to plead for help from the only predator bigger than freakshow (in his eyes) who IS from gotham#danny goes to the Joker. prepared to offer everything but his free will and free mind. he can't give those up. it's all he has.#danny is a feral house cat asking a tiger to take care of a mountain lion for him by offering the tiger his own liver on a silver platter#joker is...delighted? maybe? no one is quite sure. but he takes what danny offers.#here is this little boy. almost the same age as the second robin when he died. pleading for the JOKER to be his savior. this will be fun
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