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#clown!danny cult
nerdpoe · 3 months
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It started as a joke. Danny is starting to think it may no longer be a joke.
So.
Vlad dragged Danny along to a Wayne Gala, and Danny got bored.
Danny also noticed that the Wayne Manor had like, a lot of weird statues.
So he uh. He possessed one of them. Sort of? He really just hid in it intangibly.
Then he started whispering shit in ghost speak to some of the rich fancy guests. Guests that sort of understood the general gist of what he was saying, but appeared to have a bit of a gap.
They asked him weird shit about like, the meaning of time and how could they be sure they had enough in a city like Gotham.
So he tried to convey that he wasn't Clockwork, but he thought they were probably doing okay.
They started leaving really tasty food bits in front of his statue.
So he answered some more questions.
Four hours into the Gala and there's a few people actually praying to him.
Six hours in and half the guests are ready to riot if Bruce Wayne suggests they go home one more time.
Eight hours in and Danny is nervously sweating as he stares through the statues eyes and into the whiteouts of a very angry Batman's cowl, the party goers are being forcibly prevented from sacrificing the Joker to him courtesy of Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin (he'd mentioned at the beginning of this whole thing that he hated clowns and apparently the people had taken that to heart).
So.
Danny started a cult.
Oops.
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alyakthedorklord · 1 year
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Welcome to Danny’s Part 2
People have been asking for more of this ^^ so here you go, have a really long word vomit of stuff i think is funny
(IM NOT WRITING THIS FIC GDI I HAVE ENOUGH WIP’S!)
Danny’s restaurant is ALSO manned by-
Tucker, who will fix your tech for free, has tattoos of hieroglyphics and lines of code that shift around when he gets busy.
Sam, who makes an express line for veggie orders. If you try to order meat from sam all the potted plants start trembling.
Jazz, who has a special booth in the back and Magically makes people dump their deepest secrets to her in streamlined Liminal Powers Therapy. (It’s a bit weird but hey the people she targets feel better so whatevs.)
Dani, who shares pictures from tourist traps she's visited, though there’s also some REALLY WEIRD pics of alternate realities and cult shenanigans mixed in. Some of the older patrons are concerned. She’s a little too young to do all this alone- actually, how old is she? Her father looks like he’s in his early twenties…
Dan, who is working here while “on parole” and often loudly argues with Danny about it.
“I don’t want to work in your stupid shop, Dad!”
Dan is two whole feet taller than danny and three times as wide i will not be taking constructive criticism. He’s a whole silver fox. There are some ladies who have a crush on him and they’re really concerned if he’s legal bc danny is younger than them how is Dan his child-
“Dan, how old are you?”
“I don’t know, like, a hundred sixty something?”
(Lady turns to look at Danny, who shrugs and smiles.) “time dilation. What a world we live in. Dan, kiddo, can you get some more napkins from the back?”
“Ugh, fine, dad.”
The first villain Danny ACTUALLY fights isn’t the Joker. It’s Condiment King. Dan runs away from him, which is already weird bc guy is MASSIVE, and the condiment king chases him bc YES SOMEONE FINALLY FEARS HIM PROPERLY.
Danny bursts out of the shop in righteous fatherly fury and beats the snot out of him. Everyones is confused bc… what? Dan is massive? Why is he scared? Why is the twink beating the snot out of condiment king?
“Dan had a traumatic experience with Burger Sauce.” Danny explains, glaring down at the rouge at his feet. He kicks him, growls, “Don’t mess with my kid.” And walks back inside.
No one asks, bc this is gotham. Asking is rude, and also it lessens the Mystery that is Danny’s. No one knows how the kids came into existence. No one knows, before someone from out of town (metropolis, ugh) asks about the sign.
The sign outside the shop says:
Welcome to Danny’s!
Do no harm and no harm shall befall you.
Start nothing and nothing will be ended.
We have baseball bats and fists and a mean swing.
This establishment does not serve- guys in white (suits), Vlad, Transphobes, Vlad, Clowns, VLAD.
Do not ask for the secret menu. If you can get it, Danny will offer it.
(Don’t scare the other customers, please.)
When asked who Vlad is, bc he’s banned three times, Danny just kind of sighs.
“He’s my kid's other parent. He’s an obsessive creep who completely ignores Danielle because she’s a girl, rolling in money but won’t pay his child support. You know how it is.”
Several goons ask what he looks like so they can keep an eye out. Dani happily tells them “look at Dan, take away Dad’s features, then convert 30% of his height and weight into smarminess.”
It's an effective description. Vlad gets full body tackled the moment he enters the neighborhood. Danny gives the goons free fudge (family recipe, one of the restaurants signatures)
One of the reasons Danny’s is so popular is bc its open 24/7. (Unless its one of those weird times where all the doors are locked and if you look through the window blinds theres nothing but a starry void.) One of the reasons Danny’s is so weird is bc Danny is ALWAYS behind the counter. Always. Round the clock. He doesn’t sleep, eat, anything. Some people swear he has a twin he swaps out with (clones).
Sometimes, after a really difficult customer, Danny will let out a really long sigh and mutter “time out” before glitching into a new position, with a new shirt and combed hair. No one mentions it.
Theres a deal that’s just, “beat danny in a fight you eat for free.”
The deal extends to both Dan and Dani as well. Even if you lose you get fudge as a reward for courage.
No one ever wins.
One time, a couple brought their kid, recently discharged from the hospital. Danny comes over to them and grins. “Hey, kiddo! Bet you gave your parents a scare, huh? Pulled through in the end. That means you get the secret menu!”
Parents: hey wtf?
Danny, handing over a perfectly normal menu: 😀
Kid: “ooh mommy look at the glowy stars!”
Parents: !?!?!?
Danny: 😁
Old man Dave, whose heart has stopped like three times now: “Oh don’t worry about that, prices are the same and it will help your kid feel much better. Danny’s just a little weird.”
After all, it’s not just full ghosts that get the menu. If you’ve been dead, heart stopped, soul out of body before being popped back into place, then you get it. There’s actually a pretty high number of people who get it, bc this is Gotham. People get resuscitated after rogue attacks. The ecto actually helps stabilize their soul after getting jerked between life and death so rudely.
The secret menu that they’re given is just a normal menu, scribbled over top with an ecto pen, invisible to non-secret menu havers. Different “ecto-levels” to choose from, and three extra dishes. There’s also instructions to get into the “back room” for those who can’t go intangible, though it comes with a disclaimer “not for the faint of heart.”
There’s also a small note at the bottom- “do not share food.”
Anyways, as per original post. Tim herds Joker into Danny’s radar bc he Cannot Deal Right Now. He salutes Danny, who waves back, grinning like he didn’t just come at the Clown Prince of Crime like a feral badger on crack cocaine. “Heya, Red Robin! You want a coffee?”
“Please.” Tim sighs. “You’re the best, Danny.”
Jason looks between tim and the shop danny just vanished into. “Uh, what?”
“Danny doesn’t like clowns.” Tim explains. “Or condiment king. They get close, Danny takes them out.”
Jason is incredibly confused, bc he just came back from an out of town mission, but this place is right on the edge of his territory and he should definitely know about it. He asks tim, who just shrugs.
“That shop is weird. It’s like a grocery store at 3am. I stumbled in there after a rough night and Danny just whipped me up the best coffee i've ever had. Still can’t find their website. I swear it’s bigger on the inside and the door keeps swapping from one side of that fire hydrant to the other.”
Danny comes out and passes Tim a massive coffee cup. “Come back and talk shop with tucker, okay? You’re welcome any time. Both of you, actually.”
He gives Jason a weird look and then goes back inside.
Jason, who is a little concerned that the reverence tim has is more than his average weird worship of coffee (it's just that good) goes back the next day in civvies.
He gets offered the secret menu, danny does the eye thing, Jason retreats to look at the secret menu. Unsure of what just happened, he texts tim.
Jason: Why was i given a “secret menu”
Tim: WTF WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THAT
Jason: IDK THATS WHY IM TEXTING YOU
tim: I'VE BEEN GOING FOR MONTHS I’M A LOYAL PATRON WHAT DO YOU HAVE THAT I DONT
Jason: the secret menu apparently (image)
Tim: …thats just the normal menu???
Jason: no? It looks like a kid went ham with a neon green marker tf?
Duke: you know this is the family chat right?
Steph: order the waffles
Jason: you order the waffles. Wtf is an ecto-level.
Jason asks for what danny recommends, Danny immediately gives him a milkshake and tells him it's on the house bc he “looks rough.”
Jason is kind if offended, bc he actually got a decent sleep- but then he tries it and its like.
Oh.
Now. Between the stink Tim is making, and the sudden worship that Jason has of this shops milkshakes, the BatFamily is now Curious and will Investigate.
Are the milkshakes really that good?
The full force of the Wayne Family™ isn’t exactly subtle, so they go in twos and threes over the course of a week.
Damian gets offered the secret menu, and is also directed towards Sam’s express vegetarian line. Danny just Knew. Damian accuses Tim and/or Jason of pulling a prank on him, but they both swear up and down they didn’t say anything.
Both Steph (i think? Did she fake her death or actually die idk) and Cass get the secret menu, and they keep trying to ask Tim what certain things on the menu mean. Tim Cannot See what they’re talking about. He’s starting to get frustrated. Is it some sort of magic spell?
Tim takes Kon to Danny’s. (Is it a date? A test date on a low-stakes investigation? Maybe.) Danny, who is really starting to enjoy messing with Tim, gleefully offers Kon the secret menu, and Tim the normal one. Tim bangs his head on the table.
Dick doesn’t get a secret menu, but he does notice a couple disappear through the wall. He’s almost certain he’s seen them before, but it will be a while before he remembers Kitty and Johnny from his early Robin Days.
Duke is also not offered a secret menu, but he can see the writing anyways. He can also see that some of the patrons have weird auras, and what on EARTH is up with Danny himself? He tries to ignore it, up until Steph gets him to order one of the specials off Cass’s (secret) menu. And Danny just kind of sharpens, the air going cold.
“I didn’t give you that menu. Just because you can read it, doesn’t mean you want it. Order off the right menu, please.”
Duke, freaked the hell out by the Biblically Accurate Horror that Danny is shifting into, orders off the right menu and apologizes.
“Oh, it’s alright!” Danny flips back to cheerful in seconds. “It’s just that it wouldn’t be completely healthy for you to eat it, even if you are part immortal.”
Duke bluescreens.
Alright, somethings definitely going on.
Tim and Jason both order the same thing- an oreo milkshake, one off the secret menu, one off the normal menu. Jason confirms the one from the normal menu does not taste the same and isn’t as good. Tim cannot confirm the other way around, because Jason nearly punches him when he attempts to taste it.
They take samples home, analyze them, and go over anecdotes from other patrons, trying to figure out what makes Danny’s so weird. What makes Kon, Cass, Jason, and Damian different?
Wait a second. Kon, Cass, Jason, Damian. The ones that died and came back to life.
It’s around this time that Dick remembers where he’s seen Kitty and Johnny before. Lovers from two houses, both alike in (in)dignity, had a romeo-and-juliet-esque escapade across Gotham, ending in high speed chase with Kitty’s gangster father and a fatal motorcycle accident. Both are dead. Both are in Danny’s.
Danny’s has something to do with death.
Having heard a couple stories about food of the dead, they notify Bruce (who is very concerned as to what exactly his children have been putting in their mouths) and then call in the magic users of the justice league.
It’s a mess. Dan calls Constantine a whore. Deadman and Secret (i think thats Tim’s ghost friend?) get abducted to the backroom. Dani clocks Capt. Marvel as another kid who looks older than he actually is, with magic powers, and his showing him her REALLY interesting travel photos. Zatanna is like “this place needs an exorcism” and danny just goes “ma’am please don’t exorcize my customers.”
Tag list (if you saw me attempt this before no you didn’t)
@nappinginhell @apointlessbox @thegatorsgoose @chaos-n-kindness @mimilikey @phoenixdemonqueen @treepainting @sjrose1216 @akikkobara @malice-of-the-sunrise @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @randomkiddoscrewingaround @call-me-strega @blankliferain @somera-rubina @wordsgohere95 @rukiaai @mirellacoco @stargazing-bookwyrm @bathildaburp @littlefeather345
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nelkcats · 1 year
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Blob Danny's Adventures
After the sixth time Danny is woken from his nap by the Observants because of a serious problem (which wasn't serious at all), he becomes enraged and decides to hide from them in the best way possible: He transforms into a blob
First, because they hate blobs, and second because he had always wondered how they lived their lives. The problem is that while he was jumping, a portal to the human world opened below him, and he ended up falling straight into a weird city full of colorful people. Other problem is that Gotham doesn't have enough ecto for him to come back into his original form, was he destined to be a blob forever?
At first he got desperate when he discovered the situation but in the end he decided to just enjoy his unanticipated vacations, surely Clockwork would notice if something bad happen to him and would get him out of there.
Danny started wearing his core on his head because there was technically no point in hiding it, it would obviously show inside his body. Camouflaging it as a diadame was the best he could think of.
Although he felt very exposed, so he mostly covered it, only a small diamond was visible on his forehead, which would disappear if attacked. At least his abilities weren't affected.
What he didn't expect was to end up as an online celebrity after beating up a clown in that form. He much less expected a guy in a red helmet to start offering him "tributes" but free food was free food.
Meanwhile, the batfamily is worried about Jason joining a strange cult, but they have no proof other than the obvious happy smile on his face and his new circular key chain.
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lurking96 · 6 months
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Imagine.
The fentons are on a family vacation. Part work but also just seeing new places. They head to Gotham. Full of weird energies, remains of cults etc.
Sure its not a tourist hotspot but quite different from their small town.
The cities inhabitants notice them. They know they are not from here. With all the vigilantes and rouges around some may even ignore the strange hazmats. Seeing it basically as normal.
Some think they are easy targets. Like some low Level goons try an ambush as Maddie and Jazz explore the City some. Just for the goons to easily get beat up.
Jack gets jumped by some idiot. Jack just turns around and accidentaly knocks the goon out. He is sorry even.
They try Danny. He doesnt look like much. Unaware of his surroundings. Clearly the others were just flukes. Though why does it feel that their attacks pass through them. Why is he suddenly at the other end of the street seemingly having ignored any attack.
Some rogues may attempt next. Thinking their underlings just failed at some easy targets. Some easy money as the fentons carry around some strange and expensive looking tech.
One night batman is on a patrol. Hearing sounds of fighting. Different voices. There were children. He speeds up but when he arrived he finds a family of four. Talking while a hogtied Joker and a bunch of his goons lay on the ground. Acting like this is just normal to them. Afterall. What is a weird clown compared to ghosts.
Basically the fentons surprising everyone with their capabilities.
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atiyasnake · 1 year
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Batty ghosts Masterlist
I've been responding to some prompts and posts with little bits of writing and tbh sometimes I lose track of them in the chaos so here is a sort of 'masterlist' I guess of the different posts I've responded to. (make sure to give the OPs some love!!). List below
Clone at the grave AU Bats find lookalike of Jason (danny) at his grave.
Dinner is Served Alfred beings home a young man (danny) for dinner after seeing him protect someone on the street.
What Protects from the Shadows a response to tourettes dog of the fenton fam going to Gotham and thinking bats is a ghost. Danny decides to protect the bat. I made a fic on ao3.
Getting eggs at 2:52am Jason in civies comes across the meta? Bats has been annoyed about at a cornershop/bodega The kid is getting eggs and is spooky
Polite Overshadowing Jason gets overshadowed in a polite way by a fed up ghost king.
Beast boy smells Death beast boy follows a boy that smells like death (Danny) and who tries to shoot a thermos at him. What the kid says is only more confusing.
The Franken Core au a response to someone's prompt/au where the GIW messed with the core of a halfa and an eldritch horror was the result. And jazz runs away with EldritchThermos Danny.
Rude Interruptions a cult summons the ghost king when he was on a date. He is not amused.
Wrong ghost kid Sleep deprivations result in Danny supposedly scruffing Dani, who was threatening some ppl with a sword and calming him down. Except he def had the wrong kid.
Arkham Internship Jazz is the interning at Arkham and a unphased badass about it.
Danny's Arkham Vaca Danny portals into arkham and isn't allowed to leave, so he decides to take a break along with making some new changes in the asylum's structure
Ghostly Retribution Danny decides to employ some petty yet unsettling revenge against one Joker while in gotham.
Smash the plate Danny is so very confident that he is not Bruce Wayne's kid, but a dna test proves him wrong.
No biggie Danny is a chill af manner calms down a pit enraged red hood leaving confusion in his wake
Pop goes the lazarus creature Danny pops out of pools of extoplasm when too much damage happens. One time it happens to be a pool right in the middle of a ninja and bat fight. And apparently this pool of extoplasm is sentient and very angry.
Accidental Kidnapping bat kids take home someone they presumed to be Tim, no one realizes this until 3 days later
Uncle Connie  Jack was disowned or cut off his family that were in the ghost/spirit field and somehow is related to John Constantine. It’s a surprise to find out that your somehow nephew is the ghost king.
Roofhopping Fenton Fam moved to Gotham and Danny decides that roof hopping is the best thing to do with the stress of it, even if he’s doing his best to avoid certain bat and bird-themed vigilantes. 
Concussions and mistaken identities  P.2   P.3 Danny is dragged somewhere by Jack while concussed and ends up mistaking Bruce as his dad. Bruce mistakes him for tim.
Summoning an overwhelmed teenager danny is stressed to the max and being summoned to deal with a ghost problem he didn’t even know about is the last straw, cue crying. 
The Kid There is a kid that keeps fighting Joker like a rabid animal in Gotham. it’s always on sight. including in Arkham.
Clockwork's Chosen: Danny gives prophecies and answers questions he shouldn’t know the answer to. It’s a normal occurrence at Casper High, but after graduation, Gotham better prepare itself.
Accidental Crime Lord    Ao3
Feral clown senses activate Danny goes feral mode when a clown is near, even in the middle of a conversation. Sam and Tucker have a routine for when this happened, despite how everyone else is so so very confused (including vigilantes). 
Just a hole in the wall  Kon gets hit by a spell from Klarion and ends up punching an interdimensional hole to one ghost boi trynna sleep
Cadmus Clones Somehow Ellie and Danny were frozen for study by Cadmus and then found by the JL who think they are clones. 
Sleepy thermos kid Danny due to circumstances falls asleep in the worst/best times/locations. Including one point just on top of Red Hood after helping him out by wacking the enemies with his thermos. 
Skeleton Key Tired danny used the skeleton key and ended up at Wayne manor
Put a gun to my head Immortal Danny living in Gotham got caught up as a hostage and shot in front of the bat. but low and behold, he’s not just gonna let that pass
Reaper’s Dance Danny does an ancient ghosty dance to ease the lost/forgotten/dammed souls in Gotham after being taken by the Wayne’s after his family died
Powerpoint Intervention Danny was taken by the JL under the assumption of being a clone of Tim, and when he finds out it was because they thought he was a clone, he decides to hold an intervention consisting of a very long powerpoint presentation.
Star the Clown Danny actually ended up liking clowns when dealing with his feelings about the freakshow incident, so much that he absolutely hated the Joker who gave clowns a bad name. and what better way to make him pay then be a clown who interferes with his plans. 
You lied  P.2 Danny finds out the Waynes are the bat and feels betrayed because now it feels like a lie (or so he thinks)
What came after the King  Pariah Dark is still the Ghost King and can be summoned, but what is more concerning is the creature that follows. 
Ripped from the core  Danny was ripped from his core and in some small shadow eldritch form stuck in Gotham. Instead of trying his luck with the bats and birds, he decided to try it with a scaly guy underground. 
Hit da bricks  After years of captivity and essentially torture from the GIW Danny lets himself slip into a fake world to escape the pain, he wakes up in the body of R-13, a clone of the robins from Cadmus, and then makes his escape. Except it isn’t actually a dream but real.  (I made three parts so far in response to Omni’s initial response to the prompt. they named the au and actually have their own branch of the story that you should def checkout!!)
Danny created the Infinte Realms
Stolen core Vlad took away Danny's core leaving Danny half of who he is, feeling hollow. Certain ppl at thr wayne gala notice.
You dare to touch the stars? Danny has been captive of GIW but what makes him snap and finally break free is when they dare to bring in the Martian Manhunter.
Here some smaller ones
Museums kind of suck possible idea of Danny returning items to their rightful owners
Pissed teens of Amity the JL doesn't respond so the Fenton teens decide to contact one Rhas al Ghul
Is Hood food? Three ways that the hood is lowkey food trope for one very hungry halfa kid could go.
Sup batty-yo Danny just keeps popping up where bat is on patrol, effectively concerning the man by the life tidbits he drops amidst just gossip. 
A few of them I am def planning to write more and eventually post fics of on ao3. My user is Atiya_Blackcharm.
Anyways hope you enjoy 💚
P.2 masterlist
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age-of-greta · 5 months
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(Don’t Fear) The Reaper
Author’s note: hi!!! Week 3 of our spooky Halloween series here!! It’s Sammy’s turn! Next part will be out on the 30th at midnight, it��s longggggggg hehehe. Pls ignore the typos and enjoy :)) vibes!
Pairing: Sam x reader
Warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption, heavy petting, minors DNI
Word count: 4.2k
It was cold. That was the first thing you noticed as you stepped out of Poppy’s car. The air was thicker with the fog machines going off everywhere, some Rob Zombie song was playing quite loudly in the background, and laser lights were everywhere. But you were cold and slightly irritated. Poppy had dragged you here to this haunted house with her tonight so she could be with her boyfriend, Josh. You liked Josh, you really did- but being around Josh meant being around all of them too. They were just simply too extroverted for your liking. In group settings you felt strange and out of place. They were always so on, something that Poppy had adapted to well. You, not so much. You and Poppy had been best friends for years, and when she met Josh all those months ago you were truly happy for her. Finally, a decent guy. She absolutely deserved it, she deserved the world, and Josh could give that to her. She wanted you to go everywhere with them, which stuck out to you as odd at first. You didn’t want to third wheel. However, once you finally got the hang of things you realized that Josh didn’t go anywhere hardly without his brothers. Alas, you were all giant third wheels that would eventually turn into a group dynamic. In these group hangout sessions you kept to yourself mostly, you had guessed you were shy. There had been plenty of times you had shown another side to you, but that always involved alcohol. Perhaps you felt so strange because you always felt two eyes that found you. You weren’t sure if you were being dramatic or imagining it, but Sam Kiszka always stared at you. You positively could not figure out why. He never even spoke to you, unless you were both inebriated- then you two carried on like you had known each other for years. However, there was this one night. You were both drinking and he kissed you. Without rhyme or reason. You wondered if you hallucinated it. He never spoke of it and you never told anyone. Despite his online persona, Sam was relatively quiet too. Often observing before talking unless it had to do with their music. He was probably the reason you felt so uptight tonight, but you didn’t know how to tell Poppy that. It would sound strange and delusional.
Now you fumbled with your fingers as Poppy scanned the crowd for Josh and company. You glanced down at your Doc’s, you should have worn thicker socks. You could feel a blister begging to begin. You stopped and bent down, tucking your light wash jeans into the spot where your boot was rubbing you. It felt better, but now you had to speed walk to catch up with Poppy. You followed her bright salmon colored vest through the crowd and the mass of blonde curls. She was always so bright and cheery in contrast to your black bodysuit that you stupidly didn’t wear a jacket with. At least there were heaters in the line portion.
“Josh!” You heard Poppy let out a squeal as she ran and embraced him. It had only been a week since she last saw him, but it looked like a reunification from war.
Then you saw the whole gang. Jake in his typical array of silver necklaces, Danny with his perfect curls, Josh in all white like a cult leader, and Sam with his hands in his pockets, his eyes had already found you.
A spark and a scream had jostled you away from your thoughts. You jumped as a clown in sliding knee pads continued to harass you.
“Fuck.” You muttered as the clown got right up in your face. “Okay, thanks for that.”
Fucking clowns.
Your face got slightly red as everyone had seen that interaction.
“He almost got ya didn’t he!” Danny yelled as you approached the group.
You let out a half laugh. “Yeah, he did.”
“Isn’t this place marvelous? Look at that giant spider! Just spectacular effects. Shall we get in line? We have everyone’s tickets.” Josh says, turning his head in awe.
“Lead the way babe!” Poppy says, taking his hand.
They lead the pact as you try and squeeze to be near Poppy, but a conversation from Jake doesn’t allow that.
“New boots?” He asks, as he matches your stride.
“They are- and I am stupid enough to try and break them in here.” You reply with a laugh.
“Ah that shit is rough. That’s why I wear my shoes until they are quite literally bursting at the seams. I hate breaking in shoes.”
“Yeah I have a feeling you will be investing in blister patches.” Danny says, jumping into the conversation.
“Thankfully I already have some.” You say, as you all get into line. It was Josh and Poppy, Danny, Jake, you, then Sam. You had hoped that Poppy would have pulled you up there with her, but she was too engulfed with Josh to pay attention. You were on your own.
“So, how was the festival?” You ask, generally to make small talk.
“It was great. There were so many people there it was a little overwhelming honestly.” Danny said, throwing his hand through his hair.
“Yeah way more than we anticipated. It ended up being electrifying, but at the beginning we were shitting bricks. Sam even took a little tumble on stage.” Jake said with a smirk as he looked at his younger brother.
Sam huffed. “Never going to let that one go- are you?”
“No.” Jake replied with a laugh. “But yeah, overall really good. Great weather, astounding atmosphere, plenty of drinks. Speaking of..” he trailed off and reached over to get his twin’s attention. “Shooters?”
Josh’s smile grew wide. “Absolutely dear brother. Alas, Daniel and I are DD-ing so only one for us.”
Josh passed around the shots, sending them down the line. Jake handed you two and raised his brow, silently asking if you were doing one.
“Fuck it.” You said with a nod.
You turned around to give one to Sam. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” He said, taking the small bottle from your hand. “Cheers.”
“Cheers.” You replied back with a small smile.
Then you all tried to secretly ingest your shot, but doing anything with them secretly was a challenge. You had gotten strange looks from everyone else in line. You never knew if it was because they were famous or slightly obnoxious when drunk. Oh well.
As the line grew shorter you began to feel anxious. You loved going to haunted houses, but typically you held onto Poppy. Now you were going to have to fight your way up there to her. Inevitably, everyone took another shot minus Josh and Danny. You could see the front now, you had retreated back to quietness as Jake and Danny carried on a conversation about some new project they were working on. Leaving you and Sam to stand in silence. You decided to try and break the ice.
“Have you been to this place before?” You turn to him and ask.
He seems off in his own world until he realizes you’re actually speaking to him. “No I haven’t. Last year we were touring around this time. Didn’t have a lot of free time for festivities and all. Have you been here?”
You shake your head. “Nope. It looks cool though. I just hope there aren't a lot of strobe lights, they make me dizzy.”
He cracked a smile. “You would hate our shows then.”
“Oh shit!” You heard Poppy giggle out.
You shot your head towards her and Josh who were giggling at one another.
“What?” You asked, confused.
“It’s two at a time!” Poppy yells back to you. “They won’t let more than two go in together!”
Jake immediately links arms with Danny. “Dibs on Daniel!”
You feel your stomach drop. That means it’s you and Sam, by yourselves. Fuck.
You slowly inch yourselves closer and closer to the front. Until before you know it Poppy and Josh go in, her arms nervously linked with his. You hear her scream immediately when they shut the doors. Jake and Danny move up to the front and Jake gives you a salute.
“See ya on the other side.” Then they go in.
Finally, it’s just you and Sam standing there awkwardly under the red neon blinking signs.
“Hello madam! Are you ready to experience the horrors behind this door?” A tall man in a twisted up clown mask asks you as he leans down close to your face. “Mhmmmm she is pretty. They’ll like her back there a whole lot. Better hope your boyfriend holds onto you real tight!”
You glance over at Sam who is looking at the clown man entirely unamused.
Fucking clowns.
“Tough crowd tonight. Let’s see how long it takes one of you to scream.” The clown yells, opening the doors of the haunted house.
It’s smoky and pitch black inside. You glance over at Sam who gives you a shrug before heading inside. You two take a few steps in before the door shuts behind you. Immediately your senses are assaulted with loud sirens as three masked figures pop out of the shadows. Pure reflexes kick in and you grab onto Sam’s arm. You thought this might annoy him, but there was no way you could go through this without holding onto someone. If he did mind, he didn’t show it. He continued to lead the way through the darkness. You made it to the first room, a ghastly kitchen seen with blood and guts splattered. Sam laughed a little at the pig chef that jumped out from behind the door. You swore you could hear Poppy scream from what sounded like a few feet away. Sam continued to lead you through rooms full of animatronics, loud noises, screaming actors, and plenty of props. You were a little frightened, but it was a fun haunted house. You were having a good time until you entered a room where immediately you see a strobe light going off. You closed your eyes trying to brace yourself from the flashing lights. Then something strange happened. You feel Sam grab you and squeeze slightly with his free hand. He guides you out of the room rather quickly, but not before a masked bloody bunny jumps out and screams at you.
As you enter the next room you can faintly hear Jake’s voice. You must have caught up with everyone.
“You okay?” Sam leans down and whispers in your ear.
His breath on your neck raises goosebumps, but you can’t fully understand why.
You look up at him and nod, unable to figure out what to say.
“Ah there they are!” You hear Poppy’s voice ring from up ahead.
Just ahead in the distance you can see everyone else halting to wait on you. It’s still dark, only illuminated by red lights. You can see Jake, he raises his eyebrows at Sam and shoots a smirk as you two approach. Danny does something similar.
“Thank God, Sam has her. Okay now that we are all together again, are we ready?” Poppy says looking back.
“Onward!” Jake yells in a moderate British accent.
Even though you’re in your group again, you still clutch Sam’s arm.
It seems as if you all have made it to the last leg of the haunted house. In a group setting, everything seemed less intimidating. Jake and Danny couldn’t take a single aspect of it seriously, that made you giggle. Poppy still shrieked and laughed with Josh at every turn. She was so happy with him. You loved that for her. You had made it to a tunnel where it was insanely dark. You could only hear your friends in front of you. But you also heard masked figures screaming and growling.
“The door is shut! What the fuck!” Poppy yelled out, attempting to lead the group out.
“Welcome to hell.” Jake laughed.
You stood around but could feel someone standing directly behind you. You still couldn’t see. Then, you felt someone grab your shoulder and pull you. You yelped as they jerked you back away from Sam in the pitch black.
“Hey what the fuck! Let me go!” You yelled trying to find your way back. Once you had been dragged to the back a split second later, a switch flipped and neon lights lit up the room to reveal a carnival tunnel. A masked bloody clown had pulled you back around two feet away from everyone else. As soon as your eyes adjusted to the light, you saw Sam making a beeline for you. He looked, angry?
“The fuck is your problem?” He spat, still barreling towards you.
Is he yelling at you?
You stood confused for a second until he reached out and grabbed your hand, pulling you back to him.
“Don’t fucking touch her. You don’t just grab and pull people.” Sam said to the masked clown, taking you back to the group.
The clown just started laughing and shrugging.
Fucking clowns.
“Oop. Sammy’s pissed!” Josh says with a laugh.
Then the door opens and you’re all herded outside into a tiny maze. Sammy still had a hold of your hand. It made you… nervous. You could feel your hand getting clammy, but you tried to ignore it. Through the maze you were met with more actors, props, and loud noises. Finally, you knew you had made it to the end when Leatherface began to chase you out with a chainsaw. Everyone roared with laughter when you all had cleared the weapon wielding maniac.
“I’ve got to say. That was pretty damn fun.” Josh said, clapping his hands and laughing.
“It was! We should go to the bonfire over there!” Poppy exclaims, matching Josh’s energy.
“That’s a yes, because they have spiked cider.” Jake replies.
“It was fun, but what in the hell happened in the tunnel?” Danny asks, perplexed looking towards you and Sam.
You hadn’t realized, but you were still holding hands. Immediately you let go and wiped your hand on your jeans, trying to play it cool.
“I don’t know. That fucking clown literally yanked me back and dragged me by my shoulders.” You said, through a laugh.
“I thought they weren't supposed to touch you?” Poppy said, puzzled.
“They aren’t.” Sam said, finally speaking. “What in the hell goes through someone’s head to yank another human like that? He pulled her so hard. It was ridiculous.”
Josh chewed on his cheek trying to hide a smile while Jake snickered at the ground.
What was so funny?
“Yeah, that's a bit much. Glad you were there Sam.” Danny says, with a shit eating grin.
Sam rolled his eyes and you stood there unsure of what to say.
**
The bonfire was interesting. There weren’t horror characters there, just a lot of people drinking. There were hay bales by the fire, which is where you and Poppy sat while the boys went off to get drinks and snacks.
“So… how was going through with Sam?” Poppy asked you, innocuously.
You shrugged at her. “I felt bad that I grabbed onto him. I’m sure he felt strange, but there was no way I was going through by myself.”
Poppy let out a laugh. “I don’t think he minded too much.”
Before you can ask her what she means Josh appears with a drink for Poppy and a bag of popcorn.
“Sam has yours.” Josh says to you with a smile.
You turn your head and see Sam carrying two drinks and a bag of popcorn. He sits on the hay bale next to Poppy. You get up, letting Josh have your spot and sit next to Sam.
“Thank you.” You say, taking the cup from Sam.
“You’re welcome.” He starts. “You can have some popcorn too, I won’t eat the whole bag.”
“Okay, thanks.” You say, reaching in to grab some.
You two sit in silence for a moment while you watch Jake and Danny find their seats on the hay bale next to you.
“This is so good.” You say, sipping the cold spiked cider.
“Yeah. You can tell it’s fresh. None of that artificial shit.” Sam offers in response.
“Sorry I grabbed onto you like that in there. I love haunted houses, they just make me anxious sometimes.” You say, trying not to sound weird.
Sam lets out a small laugh. “It’s okay. I’m the same way. I’m glad you were my partner. It would have been embarrassing to hold onto Daniel and too obnoxious to go in with Jake.”
You laugh at that and sip your cider. You were having a fun time. Maybe you had been too judgmental about doing things with them, letting your own anxieties get in the way. You enjoyed being around Sam, he just made you feel nervous. You couldn’t figure out why, he had always been nothing but nice to you.
Conversations began to flow and so did more drinks. You all had polished off the shooters and Josh and Poppy got cozy together. Inevitably, you had started to feel the alcohol and came out of your shell, having a lively conversation with Jake and Danny about Taco Bell.
“Baja blasts are so gross! It tastes like cotton candy acid!” You say giggling.
“Blasphemy! Usually I love it when you drink, because you’re fun. But tonight you speak nothing but blasphemy!” Jake practically yells.
“Okay okay. Sorry to kill these vibes but I think Pops and I are going to head out. Danny, would you mind driving y/n home?”
“Yeah of course.” Danny responds, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
Your stomach sinks. You had very seldom been alone with them without Poppy as a buffer. You hoped you weren’t a burden.
“Call me tomorrow!” Poppy states, giving you a small hug before running off with Josh.
“Have fun you crazy kids!” Jake yells at them.
You all watch them walk off. Then Jake nudges Danny and smirks at Sam. “We’re going to grab some more drinks.”
Then, it’s just you and Sam again.
“They’re going to be so sick in the morning.” Sam says with a small smile.
“Yeah I can imagine. You guys can drink like tanks.”
Sam laughs. “Thank you?”
“Just being honest. Speaking of, sorry you’re pawned off on me again. If you want to go grab drinks with them you’re more than welcome to.”
Sam frowns at you. “Pawned off on you? Is that really what you think?”
You furrow your brows at him. “Yeah I mean you had to go through with me in the haunted house and now you’re stuck entertaining me at the bonfire.”
Sam sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Fuck okay here we go. Do you not think that it has all been done intentionally? You really haven’t picked up on the way these assholes smirk and smile and scoff at us- well more specifically me?”
You’re taken aback at his words.
“I like you. There it is. Okay? I have a stupid little crush on you, I always have. Do you not remember when I kissed you? You never said anything about it, so I tried to ignore what I felt. But fuck it I can’t. I like you, and obviously I have done a piss poor job of showing it if you think I’m some sort of babysitter for you.”
You sit there absolutely stunned. No idea what to say. Maybe it was the liquid courage coursing through your veins, or the adrenaline at the admission. But you leaned over, and you kissed him. Right on that hay bale by that bonfire. He kissed you back immediately, shocked initially. His hand cupped your face and your whole body flooded with warmth. You disconnected your lips and Sam’s face was dusted with pink.
“Well… fuck me. I guess I should have said that a long time ago if I knew I would have gotten that.”
You giggled at him. “I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me. This is unprecedented to say the least. I kind of thought you hated me.”
He scoffed at you. “Hated you? No, I have pined over you for months. I was just unsure how to even navigate that. You make me nervous.”
You make him nervous? What the hell was going on?
“You make me nervous!” You admit with a laugh.
“Well here’s to being nervous together I guess? Wanna go grab another drink?” He asks, getting up and reaching for your hand.
“Sure.” You respond with a smile extending your hand to take his.
He leads you to the drink stand and orders two more. You sip on them and giggle at one another.
“I could use a smoke. You down?” He asks.
You glance around. “We will have to go somewhere secretive. No one else is smoking.”
He smirks at you. “Go somewhere secretive? With you? Absolutely.”
You bite your lip at his playfulness as he takes your hand and leads you behind a shed. It’s darker over here, he’s only illuminated by a blue light. He fumbles with his pockets before pulling out a pack of cigarettes. He shakes then vigorously against his hand before selecting one. He puts it between his teeth and flicks the lighter. You can’t help but think how attractive he looks at this moment. He takes a drag and exhales, his eyes flicking towards yours. Then he hands you the cigarette. You take it between two fingers and bring it to your lips, taking a puff. He looks at you the same way.
“What?” You ask with a small smile.
“You’re so fucking hot. You know that? It’s been so hard for me to keep my hands to myself everytime we have drank together. I damn sure didn’t keep my thoughts to myself. I just can’t believe this is finally happening. I didn’t think I would ever have the guts to tell you.” He says, running his fingers through his hair.
You take one more drag and hand it back to him. “Yeah? Good things come to those who wait.”
He leans in, dangerously close to you and tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “They do.” He coos.
His eyes are bouncing between your eyes and lips. His hand is impossible hot and you can hear your heart thumping in your chest. He swipes his thumb across your bottom lip before slowly leaning in. You kiss him back, feverishly this time. Not wanting to come up for air. This time a different sensation takes you over, not a warmth but a fire. His hand finds your waist and he squeezes you lightly, causing an unintentionally moan to leave your lips. “Fuck.” He growls in your ear as he attacks your neck with kisses. You can feel him pressed against you and you want nothing more than to take him into this shed. You pull him closer to you, practically as close as you can get and run your hand through the back of his hair, lightly tugging. He returns back to your lips, devouring every kiss. You run your hand over his waistband as he shutters into you. You’re entirely unsure how you two are going to progress this situation. However, the universe had different plans.
“Sam! Where the fuck are yo-“
Jake. Danny. Caught.
Your eyes get as big as saucers as you see them standing there with their flashlights on their phones pointed directly at you two.
“Oh goddamnit really?” Sam asks, trying to cover his pants.
“No FUCKING way!” Jake yells out. “You finally did it Sammy boy!”
“Woooo about time!” Danny yells, as he cackles and bumps shoulders with Jake.
“Would you please fuck off?” Sam seethes.
They both throw their hands up in response. “Leaving in ten with or without you!”
Sam returns his attention back to you, clearly flustered. “I’m sorry. They’re fucking brain dead.”
You clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. This will be fun to explain.”
“What are we going to explain?” Sam asks, testing the waters.
You wrinkle your nose. “I don’t know… What exactly is this?”
Sam laughs. “What do you want it to be?”
You bite your lip. “I’m not sure, but I like kissing you.”
He smiles. “I like kissing you too. Tell you what, how about I take you on a proper date. We can go from there.”
“Hmmm. I guess I could be open to that.” You say, batting your eyes.
He laughs and shakes his head. “You’re going to drive me crazy. You know that.”
“Is that a challenge?”
He leans down and kisses your head. “Let’s get out of here.”
He takes your hand and leads you back towards the cars, passing the haunted house.
“This drive back is going to be brutal. They’re not going to shut the fuck up.” Sam says, sighing.
“If my intuition is correct, Josh will be at mine and Poppy’s house. They will come in and our secret is up.” You add.
“Maybe we should just get an Airbnb for like a month. Away from them.” He jokes.
“Don’t tempt me with a good time.” You find his eyes and smile.
As you’re exiting towards the parking lot a familiar face jumps out in front of you and screams. You recognize him as the clown that sent you into the haunted house at the beginning of the night.
“Well well! Looks like loverboy finally figured out how to hold on to his girlfriend!
Fucking clowns.
Sam smirks at him. “I did and I’m never letting her go.”
**
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taxion · 6 months
Text
First post
I dunno what ta say so here’s about me and some interests
Trans masc
Gay
Games
COD
COF
Watchdogs2
Shows/Movies
All Quiet on The Western Front
Banana Splits The Movie
Black Phone
Deadpool
Friday The 13th
Halloween
Hellraiser (only the first movie)
Hell's Kitchen
Invader Zim
Invader Zim; Enter The Florpus
Madness Combat
SAW (1-Jigsaw)
Scream
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1, 2, 2022)
TMNT
Venom
Villainous
Music
Artic Monkeys
Ayesha Erotica
Blue Öyster Cult
Ciggarettes After Sex
Clown Core
Danny Gonzalez
Dixon Dallas
Embrace
Eyedress
Falling In Reverse
Glass Animals
Gorillaz
h3artcrush
ICP
IDKHBTFM
Jack Stauber
Ke$ha
Kikuo
Kwite
Lady Gaga
Lana Del Rey
McCafferty
Mr. Bungle
Nickleback
Nine Inch Nails
NWA
Miracle Musical
Panic! At The Disco
Pierce The Veil
Pink Guy
ppcocain
Radiohead
Rammstein
Rebzyyx
Ricky Montgumery
Rio Romeo
Roar
Rob Zombie
Sewerslvt
Shakira
Sir Mix-A-Lot
Skinny Puppy
Slipknot
S.O.D.
System Of A Down
Tally Hall
The Cure
The Offspring
The Walters
TØP
Unicorn On Ketamine
Weezer
Will Wood And The Tapeworms
Will Wood
Xavlegbmaofffassssitimiwoamndutroabcwapwaeiippohfffx
2 LIVE CREW
Books
Heartstopper
Invader Zim Vol. 1-?
JTHM
TBHK
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madsciencestudent · 1 year
Text
Fuck It; Halloween Music List
The Addams Family Theme - Amc Orchestra
The Addams Family Sinatra Style - Joey Gaynor
Halloween Spooks - Lambert, Hendricks, and Ross
Cosmik Debris - Frank Zappa 
Witch Doctor - David Seville
Witchy Woman - Eagles
Season of the Witch - Donovan
In the Hall of the Mountain King - Grieg
(Ghost) Riders In the Sky - Outlaws
Monster Mash - John Zacherle
I Put A Spell On You - Jay Hawkins
Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) - David Bowie
Dinner with Drac - John Zacherle
Monster Mash - Bobby Pickett
Ghost Busters - Ray Parker Jr.
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival
Spooky - Classics IV
Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band
Soul Man - Sam and Dave
Stayin’ Alive - Bees Gees
Grim Grinning Ghosts - The Living Tombstone featuring Crusher P + Corpse Husband
Grim Grinning Ghosts - Creature Feature 
Halloween (Extended) - Da Boy Tommy
Monster Mash - The Misfits
Prologue (Little Shop of Horrors) - Bill Mitchell, Michelle Weeks, Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell
Werewolves of London - Warren Zevon
Boris the Spider - The Who
Graveyard Waltz - The Hooters
Thriller - Micheal Jackson
Time Warp - Little Nell, Patricia Quinn, Richard O'Brien
Sweet Transvestite - Tim Curry
Hot Patootie (Bless My Soul) - Adam Lambert
Magic Dance - David Bowie
Remains of the Day - Tim Burton's Corpse Bride Soundtrack Danny Elfman
The Purple People Eater - Sheb Wooley
Jeepers Creepers - Jack Teagarden
Hush, Hush, Hush Here Comes the Boogeyman - Henry Hall
The Greatest Show Unearthed - Creature Feature
Dead Man’s Party - Oingo Boingo
Something Wicked (That Way Went) - Vernian Process
Spooky Scary Skeletons (Remix) - The Living Tombstone
Pet Sematary - The Ramones
Godzilla - The Blue Oyster Cult
(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - The Blue Oyster Cult
Pumkpinhead - The Misfits
Allison Gross - Steeleye Span
Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) - Marilyn Manson
This is Halloween - Marilyn Manson 
This is Halloween - The Citizens of Halloween
Kidnap the Sandy Claws - KoRn
Friends on the Other Side - Keith David
Voodoo Child (Radio Edit) - Rogue Trader
Friends on the Other Side- Disney Villain Mashup - Thomas Sanders
The Dismemberent Song - Blue Kid
Touch-Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon
In the Dark of the Night (Metal Cover) - Jonathan Young
The Devil Went Down to Georgia - The Charlie Daniels Band
Beelz (My Name is Satan!) - Stephen Lynch 
Legend of Wooley Swamp - The Charlie Daniels Band
(Ghost) Riders in the Sky - Johnny Cash
Brains! - Voltaire
Ramalama Bang Bang - Rōisín Murphy
"I Put A Spell On You" Hocus Pocus Villain Spelltacular Finale - Various Artists
I Put a Spell On You - Bette Midler
Every Day is Halloween - Ministry
Are You Ready for Freddy? - Fat Boys featuring Freddy Krueger
Teenage Frankenstein - Alice Cooper
Chop Chop Slide - Insane Clown Posse
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mariacallous · 2 years
Note
bb have you read "please miss: a heartbreaking tale of staggering penis", the trans memoir? cuz i just finished reading it and it was like... offensively bad. like so bad that i'm now certain in ten years time we're going to find out from a wikileaks dump that grace lavery was a sleeper agent paid by Big Cis to make the rest of us look like depraved misogynistic predators. is this how qanon people felt omfg
hwat is going on:
“The queer memoir you’ve been waiting for”—Carmen Maria Machado
Grace Lavery is a reformed druggie, an unreformed omnisexual chaos Muppet, and 100 percent, all-natural, synthetic female hormone monster. As soon as she solves her “penis problem,” she begins receiving anonymous letters, seemingly sent by a cult of sinister clowns, and sets out on a magical mystery tour to find the source of these surreal missives. Misadventures abound: Grace performs in a David Lynch remake of Sunset Boulevard and is reprogrammed as a sixties femmebot; she writes a Juggalo Ghostbusters prequel and a socialist manifesto disguised as a porn parody of a quiz show. Or is it vice versa? As Grace fumbles toward a new trans identity, she tries on dozens of different voices, creating a coat of many colors.
With more dick jokes than a transsexual should be able to pull off, Please Miss gives us what we came for, then slaps us in the face and orders us to come again.
Praise
“A gleeful middle finger to the expectations of trans memoir… complex, multi-layered, enchanting.”—them
"With a singular sense of wryness and ribaldry, Lavery charts the course of her gender transition."—Tomi Obaro, Buzzfeed
“A smart and funny memoir spanning addiction and gender transition, queer theory and standup comedy.”—The Guardian, Most Anticipated Books of 2022
"Lavery's wild, genre-busting tale of gender transition, addiction and multiple varieties of chaos is both riotously intelligent and dazzlingly hilarious."—Evening Standard (London)
“Grace Lavery’s unabashed and tantalizing book queers the memoir genre in multiple senses, taking readers on a wild ride through the author’s multitudinous identities.”—Electric Lit, Most Anticipated Books of 2022
“In this genre-busting work of memoir (or auto-fiction?), Grace Lavery embarks on a myriad of misadventures, including receiving anonymous letters from cultish clowns and starring in a David Lynch remake of Sunset Boulevard.”  —Autostraddle, Winter preview
“Lavery takes a novel approach to the memoir. Melding it with fiction, theory and analysis of popular culture, the result is an untamed beast… weird and wonderful.”—Irish Times
“Rocking a finely-honed, larger-than-life authorial persona…Lavery’s shattered expectations with an inventive and provocative memoir.”  —The Herald (Scotland)
“Imagine a graduate lit theory seminar interrupted every few minutes by a back-row prankster who has a knack for making the whole room blush. Lavery's ideas float high out of reach at times, but if you grab one, it might just rearrange your thinking around sexuality, freedom, and what it takes to mine joy from this broken world.”—The Week
“A surreal speculative memoir… Lavery aims to rub out the dividing line between the intellectual and the bawdy. Recounting how she solved her “penis problem” and began taking synthetic estrogen, Lavery explores transcendental erotic self-realization, her history of drug and alcohol use, and the paradigmatic concept of the penis through absurdist tall tales.”—Publisher's Weekly
"Never shy at finding the humor in even the most mundane of situations, Lavery hilariously recounts her life as a trans woman in the public eye. Her relationship with fellow writer Danny Lavery comes into focus with her trademark wit and occasional self-deprecation. The construction and artificiality, the boundaries, the beauty—it’s all here, in Lavery’s body and the bodies of lovers and friends."—Library Journal
“This is the queer memoir you've been waiting for; a dizzying mix of theory and pastiche, metafiction and memory. Please Miss is Terry Castle meets Lauren Slater meets Michelle Tea; hilarious and sexy and terrifying in its brilliance. But don't worry—Lavery is an avalanche you'll be glad to be buried under.”—Carmen Maria Machado, author of In the Dream House and Her Body and Other Parties
“Grace Lavery’s Please Miss is a polychromatic, wild and joyous gambol through a world which is like ours but blessedly twisted… Come for the laugh out loud miniature windsock on page one, stay for the fascinating analysis of a discarded pig part in Jude the Obscure, end up profoundly moved and profoundly grateful for this supremely intelligent, innovative, and important tale which is, as Lavery brilliantly puts it, ‘like all the rest, different from all the rest.’”—Maggie Nelson, author of The Argonauts
“Grace Lavery's memoir – if that's what it is? – is a daring, perverse, mind-blowing, intellectual, hilarious, outrageous, inspired work of art that somehow is touchingly sincere while giving no fucks whatsoever. I read this laughing out loud, clutching my pearls, my mind exploding in wonder. This meditation on trans bodies, queer sex, pop culture, academia, and fantasy rips open bold and badly needed new terrain in literature.”—Michelle Tea, author of Against Memoir and Black Wave
“Hot, sick, painfully vivid.”—Sophie Lewis, author of Full Surrogacy Now
“Please Miss is a wickedly smart and filthily funny mosaic of criticism, memoir, and autofiction that is refreshingly avant-garde, profoundly erotic, and as enthralling as an intimate all-night conversation with the brainy high femme BFF you wish you had. I wish it upon everyone.”—Melissa Febos, author of Whip Smart and Abandon Me
“An unclassifiable pastiche of genuine beauty, a meta-memoir that takes its humor as seriously as its philosophy. Lush, louche, and utterly virtuosic, Please Miss takes a puff off a cigarette, and blooms an astonishing constellation of linked vignettes, an argument given in undercurrent, in root systems, in smoke. Please Miss gives us what we came for and then the much more for which we did not know we could come.”—Jordy Rosenberg, author of Confessions of the Fox
“In the way that excellent style always blurs the question of genre, Grace Lavery shows how excellent style can blur gender with equal verve. This book reframes the question of transition from the familiar journey from A to B, and replaces that journey with a can’t-look-away performance of wit, language, irreverence, and delight so compelling that a reader forgets about destinations all together.”—Torrey Peters, author of Infect Your Friends and Loved Ones and Detransition, Baby
“I met Grace when she was still an egg (trans talk for folx who don't know yet that they're trans) and think hers is perhaps the most spectacular, fully formed hatching since Minerva sprang from the head of Zeus.”—Susan Stryker, author of Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution, founding editor of Transgender Studies Quarterly, Emmy Award-winning director of Screaming Queens: The Riot at Compton’s Cafeteria
“Grace Lavery has somehow managed to blend a rich overview of trans philosophy and theory with a languid, playful sexuality and humor that radiates from every page. It’s a work of great seriousness that doesn’t take itself seriously at all, and as long as I live I will never figure out how she did it.”—Nicole Cliffe, author, columnist, editor of The Toast
“Please Miss will awe you with its swung prose, its hairpin generic turns, and its bouts of gleeful self-scrutiny. These formal extroversions are part of the book’s argument and a deep insurrectionist pleasure in themselves. One chapter through and you’re ready to draw with Lavery, stand with her, hold with her.”—Paul Saint-Amour, Walter H. & Leonore C. Annenberg Professor in the Humanities, University of Pennsylvania
“Please Miss cheerfully explodes the trans memoir as political and rhetorical apparatus, refusing norms of uplift or disclosure or cis reader reassurance in favor of the messy magic of a joyfully plural existence. You will annoy loved ones because you’re going to read big chunks of this out loud to them and their jaws will drop at the chutzpah of Grace abounding.”—Drew Daniel, of the band Matmos, Associate Professor of English at Johns Hopkins University
“Always smart, frequently funny, and sometimes—always tastefully, I assure you—gut-wrenchingly moving, Grace Lavery’s Please Miss is brilliant from start to finish. It’s a howling tale of trans life, addiction, sex, love, loss, and this maddening and delightful meat out of which we are made. Packed as it is with delicious fabulation and sticky detail, the book makes a profound statement about not only what it means to be trans, but also what it means to be meaty, enfleshed, sexed, throbbing with desire, reeling from loss, ragged, loved and pleasured, carved and sutured, and, above all, struggling to find words for any and all of it. What a book! And have I mentioned it’s an absolute delight to read?”—Gabriel Rosenberg, Associate Professor of Gender, Sexuality, and Feminist Studies at Duke University
I don't know what to say - I have not (yet) read it, no.
3 notes · View notes
llpodcast · 1 year
Audio
(Literary License Podcast)
Batman: The Animated Series
 See No Evil  
 Lloyd "Eddie" Ventrix is on the verge of losing his daughter, Kimberly (Elisabeth Moss), to his ex-wife, Helen, due to his past as a con artist. Determined not to lose Kimberly, Ventrix dons a suit, stolen from where he used to work while on parole, which grants the user invisibility but also becomes highly toxic and drives him insane. He poses as Kimberly's imaginary friend, Mojo, and planning to abduct her from her mother, while in a crime spree as an invisible robber. Batman must solve the mystery crimes and stop Ventrix, despite the fact that he cannot even see him.
 Beware the Gray Ghost
 Simon Trent, an actor best known for his past role as "The Gray Ghost", is on the verge of bankruptcy thanks to his declining career. To save himself, he sells off all of his Gray Ghost merchandise. Immediately afterwards, a series of bombings related to the old show begin to occur. Batman, having himself been inspired partly by the show to become the crimefighter he now is, goes to Trent for help, and they team up to put an end to the crimes, and also revive Trent's career.
 Prophecy of Doom 
 Batman investigates a cult, called the Brotherhood, founded by the "mystic" Nostromos, after hearing about a number of stories from his colleagues about his ability to predict the future. Batman finds out that Nostromos is actually a con artist who was rigging near-fatal accidents to gain the confidence of Gotham's upper class citizens, and he must expose this ruse before it is too late.
 Joker’s Favor
 After a man named Charlie Collins curses at the Joker on the road for offensive driving, the Clown Prince of Crime corners him and intimidates him into doing him a "small favor". Two years pass, and the Joker finally decides how to use Charlie: to sneak a bomb into the Peregrinator's Club, where Commissioner Gordon is to give a speech at an award ceremony. Charlie, who merely has to open the door, is sceptical at first, but for the sake of his family, he reluctantly decides to obey.
 We are joined by Mark Krawczyk, Host of The Spoiler Room podcast.  You can follow his show or himself by going to the following websites:
 https://www.specialmarkproductions.com
https://anchor.fm/spoilerroompodcast
https://twitter.com/SpecialMarkPro
https://www.instagram.com/SpecialMarkProd
https://www.tiktok.com/@specialmarkproductions
  Opening Credits; Introduction (1.29); Amazing Design Advertisement (32.25); Episode One See No Evil (33.37); Episode Two: Beware the Grey Ghost (47.24); Episode Three:  Prophecy of Doom (1:20.20); Episode Four: Joker’s Favor (1:45.57); Favourite and Least Favourite Character (2:34.15);Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel (2:51.43); Closing Credits (2:54.37)
 Opening Credits– Batman Animated Theme by Danny Elfman.  Copyright 1992 Warner Music 
 Closing Credits:  My Hero by The Foo Fighters. Taken from the album The Color and The Shape.  Copyright 1997 Roswell – Capitol Records.
Original Music copyrighted 2020 Dan Hughes Music and the Literary License Podcast. 
 All rights reserved. Used with Kind Permission.
 All songs available through Amazon Music.
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ghostcultmagazine · 1 year
Video
youtube
What to get the music lover that has everything? Find out with our handy 2022 Black Friday and Holiday Gift guide For Rockers and Metalheads. Check out all the links below to support bands, labels, festivals, record stores, and other small businesses this year. And don't forget to donate to some worthwhile charities! Written and co-produced by Ghost Cult Keefy (https://ift.tt/YkVhS4W). Co-producer and edited by Omar Cordy of OJC Photography (https://www.instagram.com/ojcpics​​​​). Theme music by Salted Wounds (https://ift.tt/PUzJtmQ). Fight Riff by Fahad Syed. #giftguide #rockers #metalheads #merch #vinylcollection #toys #shirts ***Some of these are affiliate links and Ghost Cult makes a small commission sales.*** Music: Get a subscription to Amazon Music: https://amzn.to/3l5fymq Record Store Black Friday - https://ift.tt/mUIBpbk Bandcamp - https://bandcamp.com/ Subscription clubs: Gimme Metal: https://ift.tt/xU1zlOJ Magnetic Eye - https://ift.tt/iRbIaXl Gilead Media - https://ift.tt/6A9TUCV The Flenser https://ift.tt/9Am6UYr Tankcrimes - https://ift.tt/BfiHRQw Metallica 2022 subscription club https://ift.tt/fbh6cJa Post-Wax: https://ift.tt/3UuPxOy Third Man Records: https://ift.tt/oj2QUHW Video and Livestreaming services : Nugs.net - https://www.nugs.net/ Momenthouse - https://ift.tt/SFwXBzU Puscifer TV - https://puscifer.com/ Livenation + Ticketmaster https://ift.tt/56Ql8V7 https://ift.tt/pxI5O69 Music cruises and destination festivals @70000tons - https://70000tons.com/ Destination Chaos: https://ift.tt/x9u2qHe Passes on sale to other festivals around the world such as Roadburn - https://roadburn.com/ Download - https://ift.tt/kQvyg1O Danny Wimmer Presents - https://ift.tt/sUD4Np7 Arctangent - https://ift.tt/WcqVbSg Tons of Rock - https://ift.tt/Vb76Q0X Alchohol: Deftones Beers by Belching Beaver - https://ift.tt/FEqciK8 Iron Maiden Trooper Beers - https://ift.tt/7EoOSfC KISS spirits - https://ift.tt/nrNVKM4 Megadeth Beer - https://ift.tt/Lx5N9ES House of Mustaine Wines - https://ift.tt/YC6eytF Metallica - Blackened Whiskey https://ift.tt/46jBagA Slipknot - No. 9 whiskey https://ift.tt/M5sn6IY Anthrax Whiskey - https://ift.tt/zwshS0D Motorhead Whiskey https://ift.tt/cXrbIsD Puzzles Rock Saws - 500 and 1000 piece puzzles KISS - https://amzn.to/311Gvk0 Slayer - https://amzn.to/3rcOuWt Ozzy - https://amzn.to/3DS07p1 Nirvana - https://amzn.to/3l2az60 Ramones - https://amzn.to/30UBJom Iron Maiden - https://amzn.to/3FBYIDE Books: Rob Halford Elton John David Bowie Jean Bouvier Money hacks Velvet Underground Greg Graffin of Bad Religion Toys and collectibles: Funko Pop - https://www.funko.com/ Super 7 - https://super7.com/ Knucklebonez - Rock Iconz https://ift.tt/m4dIZzL Incendium - https://ift.tt/SZxFUsn Dark Knights Death Metal action figures by McFarlane toys https://amzn.to/3nOuzej Rocker clothes: Shirts - Heavy Metal Merchant https://ift.tt/yVPzMWD Wicked Clothes https://ift.tt/wPLA8IG Battle vests - Mens - https://amzn.to/30RYlWq Womens - https://amzn.to/30RYlWq Pintrill - https://ift.tt/juqaGp1 Pull The Plug Patches and Pins: https://ift.tt/NrZbcJ0 Wornstar - https://wornstar.com/ Creeping Death Designs - https://ift.tt/21r0zmI Blackcraft Cult - https://ift.tt/0vB4fTE Indie Merch Store - https://ift.tt/w4mCL6h Dimebag hardware clothing - https://ift.tt/1uf7kO0 Mortus Viventi -https://ift.tt/cd9UHfq Smoke, CBD, Vape, and 420 friendly stuff: HiBNB (Ghost Cult's affiliate partner - "Air BnB for 420 ppl) Clown Cannabis - https://ift.tt/JFgLYvK BUD OF THE GODZ by GWAR - https://ift.tt/ki85URP B-Real of Cypress Hill’s Dr, Greenthumb - https://ift.tt/M4a3q9I Giving Tuesday Charities we Support! TWLOHA - https://twloha.com/ National Alliance to End Homelessness - https://ift.tt/UcnTi9A Animal Place - https://ift.tt/IBTwnbo F*ck Cancer - https://ift.tt/uBYNvk6 Headcount- https://ift.tt/e4WsM7l Rock Against Racism - Rock Against Racism Take Me Home - https://takemehome.org/ National Bail Fund - https://ift.tt/m6Cr1aD Cope Notes - https://copenotes.com/ Cru Socks - https://www.crusox.com/ Full list of Ghost Cult gear: http://bit.ly/OJCPicsKit
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thediamondolls · 2 years
Text
Mobile Rules
.ABOOT..     …   written by siren, 30+, she/they, pst + 7 ( us west coast ) based. generally offline saturdays and sundays.  BIOS FOR CANON AND OC’S WILL BE UPDATED AS I GET THEM DONE BUT FOR NOW HAVE SOME OLD ONES UNIL I BECOME LESS LAZY LOL.
NOTE: I am TENTATIVELY adding my male muses. IF THEY GET MORE ATTENTION THAN MY GIRLS, I WILL REMOVE THEM AGAIN. AND THEY WILL REMAIN REQUEST ONLY.
.CONTENT..     …   there will be heavy topics on this blog. including, but not limited to; abuse ( mental / emotional / physical / sexual ), brainwashing, cult mention, torture ( both mental and physical ), non - consensual body modification, assassinations, killing / murder, politics, child / sex trafficking, mental health ( including depression, anxiety, and more }, heavy violence
however, because of this, this blog is strictly 21+
.SHIPPING & NSFW.     …   look. I love shipping. Probably too much but with shipping comes a couple things. I SHIP CHEMISTRY. And I am literally down for every kind of ship ( within reason, of course )
That being said: muses of mine between 18-25, I will not ship with muses younger than 18. Muses between 26 - dead i will not ship with muses younger than 25.
shipping is limited to 25+ for muses and fc's and 21+ for muns. please do not forceship and do not send me ship hate.
sexual content may appear on this blog and will always be tagged and under a readmore.
But, NSFW does not just mean spicy times. It means there will be violence and bloodshed and topics that might not be appropriate for everyone.
HOWEVER. I will NOT write the following: dub/con, rape, incest, cheating plots, anything that is generally gross..
.A T T E N T I O N.     …  
JUST A QUICK PSA :
if you interact / support / try and defend BOOMSTIK / ACEDEGENCRATE / THCEVILDEAD / EVUHLDEAD / EVILSDED aka ARCHER please DO NOT follow me.
i do not like being the type of person who does this but this is for my own physical ( rl/ooc ) safety as well as mental health and i just want nothing to do with them or anyone who would interact with them.
you can find my callout post HERE stating what they have done ( TW for emotional manipulation, suicide baiting, and stalking )
adding on to this: if you have a problem with me, come to me off anon. i am an adult and i am willing to discuss things like an adult. i am only human and sometimes i make mistakes.
.FOLLOWING.     …   this blog is MUTUALS ONLY. meaning i will only interact with people that i follow and who follow me in return. if i do not follow you back within a couple days, please don't take it personally. i am slow and sometimes it takes me some time to read over rules and such. please do not follow me over and over again trying to get my attention, this will just cause me to hardblock.
please SOFTBLOCK me if you're going to unfollow. it helps with my anxiety of trying to decide if it is tumblr being tumblr or a legit unfollow.
.BANNED FC’S / MUSES.     …   i will not interact with blogs for 'real' people such as; hamilton, the crown, etc.
in regards to faceclaims i will not interact with, they are as follows: scarlett johansson, amber heard, armie hammer, danny masterson, jared leto, ansel elgort, and allison mack or anyone else who has been proven to be dangerous / problematic.
due to personal experiences, I am adding Bruce Campbell / Ash Williams and Paige ( wwe ) to the list of banned fcs.
if you have any of these on a multi, i will follow but i will not interact with these characters or fc's.
.TRIGGERS.     …   i, myself do not have any triggers outside clowns and scorpions, but they aren't super bad.
however, i am uncomfortable writing plots surrounding cheating / infidelity for personal reasons.
triggers will get tagged as trigger tw, please let me know if you need anything tagged.
.CREDIT.     …   All graphics ( this includes gifs ) / psd's on here and the blog itself are made by me unless otherwise stated. please don't copy / steal. i work very hard on my stuff and it sucks for it to be taken.
feel free to reblog anything if you have a 'diamondols' tag.
Ask template: tsarinasource
promo template : poohsources Icon template: supersources
.INTERACTIONS .     …   memes are the best and easiest way to interact with me if we haven't before. please be aware that i am slow at these. like sloth level slow. they get done, but i do have a full time job as well as full time anxiety.
this blog is LOW/MEDIUM ACTIVITY as I do work mon-fri and i am usually off the dash sat-sun so i can recharge.
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vf-doctor-strange-2 · 2 years
Text
Dans ce nouveau film Marvel Studios, l’univers cinématographique Marvel déverrouille et repousse les limites du multivers encore plus loin. Voyagez dans l’inconnu avec Doctor Strange, qui avec l’aide d’anciens et de nouveaux alliés mystiques, traverse les réalités hallucinantes et dangereuses du multivers pour affronter un nouvel adversaire mystérieux.
Genre: Fantastique, Action, Aventure
Sortie: 2022-05-04
Directeur: Danny Elfman, John Mathieson, Sarah Halley Finn, Sam Raimi, Stan Lee
Etoiles: Benedict Cumberbatch, Elizabeth Olsen, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benedict Wong, Xochitl Gomez
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Casting technique : Matt Reeves (Scénariste), Michael Giacchino (Compositeur), Peter Craig (Scénariste), Bob Kane (Scénariste), Bill Finger (Scénariste)
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness : Matt Reeves s'exprime sur ce détail de la fin qui a marqué les spectateurs [SPOILERS]
« Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness », la dernière adaptation en date du célèbre personnage DC Comics, est en salles depuis le 3 mars 2022. Le long-métrage fait beaucoup parler de lui, et un détail a attiré l’attention des fans. En effet, à la fin du film, un certain personnage fait une courte apparition. Matt Reeves a donné quelques précisions concernant ce caméo inattendu. ATTENTION SPOILERS.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness : une adaptation déjà culte Tandis que Ben Affleck est toujours le visage de l’homme chauve-souris dans le DC Extended Universe (DCEU), la Warner s’est lancée dans la création d’un autre univers Batman, porté par le comédien Robert Pattinson. En effet, Matt Reeves vient de sortir Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, une toute nouvelle adaptation du célèbre justicier de Gotham, située hors du DCEU. Le film fait actuellement sensation dans les salles obscures.
Pour l’occasion, le Chevalier Noir est rajeuni, et joue les justiciers de Gotham seulement depuis deux ans. Tandis qu’il commence à se forger une solide réputation, il se retrouve face à un nouvel ennemi de marque : L’Homme-mystère (ou The Riddler en VO). Incarné par Paul Dano, ce dernier en fait baver à notre cher héros qui croise également la route d’autres personnages emblématiques comme Catwoman (Zoë Kravitz), l’inspecteur Gordon (Jeffrey Wright), Carmine Falcone (John Turturro) ou encore Le Pingouin (Colin Farrell).
L’apparition d’un personnage iconique La suite de cet article contient des SPOILERS pour ceux qui n’ont pas encore vu le film. A défaut d’une scène post-générique, Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness gratifie les fans d’une apparition de taille. À la toute fin du film, tandis que l’Homme-mystère croupit dans une cellule de l’asile d’Arkham, un mystérieux détenu vient l’apostropher. Une séquence qui a déjà amené beaucoup d’interrogations et fait couler beaucoup d’encre.
Alors que L’Homme-mystère déprime d’avoir vu son plan machiavélique contrecarré, un autre détenu prend donc la parole pour tenter de lui remonter le moral. Ce dernier sous-entend alors qu’il sera un de ses futurs alliés. Pour le plus grand plaisir des fans, il s’agit d’une nouvelle incarnation du Joker. En effet, ce détenu emploie le mot clown, et finit sa tirade par un rire reconnaissable entre mille. Le Joker est bien de retour, et existe dans l’univers de Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Cependant, Matt Reeves choisit de mettre en scène le personnage avec des plans sombres et assez indistincts pour conserver des éléments de surprises, et surtout masquer l’identité du nouvel interprète du Prince du Crime : Barry Keoghan.
Une scène coupée qui en offrait plus Le jeune comédien, révélé dans Mise à mort du cerf sacré, et récemment à l’affiche de Les Eternels, sera donc le visage du Joker dans l’univers de Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Ce petit échange entre Paul Dano et Barry Keoghan permet ainsi d’élargir l’univers du film, et de confirmer l’existence du clown démoniaque. Enfin, pas tout à fait, puisque Barry Keoghan n’est pas encore réellement le Joker, comme l’expliquait Matt Reeves au micro de Allociné il y a quelques jours :
Ce personnage à Arkham renvoie au Joker avant qu'il ne soit le Joker. Il n'a pas encore décidé de revendiquer ce concept. Mais je voulais en faire quelqu'un que Batman a rencontré pendant sa première année, et qu'il a fait enfermer car c'était un tueur. Et parce que Batman était perturbé par le fait que l'Homme-mystère lui écrive, il devait se rendre à Arkham pour tenter d'établir son profil, voir s'il réussissait à entrer dans son état d'esprit pour comprendre les raisons de ces lettres.
Initialement, Matt Reeves avait l’intention d’offrir aux fans une séquence plus longue avec le Joker. Batman devait même interagir avec son futur grand adversaire mais, finalement, le cinéaste s’est abstenu :
Quand il se rend dans l'asile, le Joker qui est enfermé ; mais qui n'est pas le Joker car il n'y en a pas ; parvient à lire en Batman : ‘Pourquoi tu te demandes pour quelles raisons il t'écrit ? Vous êtes exactement les mêmes, tous deux des justiciers masqués.’ Il établit une comparaison entre les deux, et Batman est tellement énervé par cette idée qu'il la rejette. La scène était initialement dans le film, et Barry Keoghan était super, tout comme Robert Pattinson. Mais vu comme le film est vaste, j'ai fini par réaliser qu'elle n'avait pas besoin d'être là. J'ai quand même gardé sa seconde scène. Car elle marquait la fin de l'arc de l'Homme-mystère, mais également parce qu'elle montrait que d'autres ennuis se préparaient.
Dommage. On aurait aimé en voir davantage de ce nouveau Joker. Même s’il y a de grandes chances pour que Barry Keoghan revienne dans la peau du Joker dans les suites de Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Matt Reeves maintient qu’il ne sait pas encore quel rôle il jouera à l’avenir :
Est-ce que le film nous présente le principal antagoniste du prochain film ? Non, ce n'était pas l'intention. Je ne sais d'ailleurs pas qui sera le méchant de la suite.
On vous laisse donc avec vos pronostics, concernant le futur rôle du pire ennemi du Chevalier Noir.
Télécharger films Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: Ça va être un carnage streaming sans compte en français – film streaming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: Ça va être un carnage film complet en Français Gratuit HD. L’identité de Spider-Man étant désormais révélée, Peter demande de l’aide au docteur Strange. Lorsqu’un sort tourne mal, de dangereux ennemis d’autres mondes commencent à apparaître, forçant Peter à découvrir ce que signifie vraiment être Spider-Man.
Les médias en continu sont des contenus multimédias qui sont constamment reçus et présentés à un utilisateur final tout en étant fournis par un fournisseur. Le verbe streamer fait référence au processus de livraison ou d’obtention de média de cette manière. [clarification nécessaire] Le streaming fait référence à la méthode de livraison du support, plutôt qu’au support lui-même. Distinguer la méthode de livraison des médias distribués s’applique spécifiquement aux réseaux de télécommunications, car la plupart des systèmes de livraison sont soit intrinsèquement en streaming (par exemple, radio, télévision, applications de streaming), soit intrinsèquement sans streaming (par exemple, livres, cassettes vidéo, CD audio). Le streaming de contenu sur Internet présente des défis. Par exemple, les utilisateurs dont la connexion Internet ne dispose pas d’une bande passante suffisante peuvent subir des arrêts, des décalages ou une mise en mémoire tampon lente du contenu. Et les utilisateurs qui ne disposent pas de systèmes matériels ou logiciels compatibles peuvent ne pas être en mesure de diffuser certains contenus.
La diffusion en direct est la diffusion de contenu Internet en temps réel, tout comme la télévision en direct diffuse du contenu sur les ondes via un signal de télévision. La diffusion en direct sur Internet nécessite une forme de média source (par exemple, une caméra vidéo, une interface audio, un logiciel de capture d’écran), un encodeur pour numériser le contenu, un éditeur multimédia et un réseau de diffusion de contenu pour distribuer et diffuser le contenu. La diffusion en direct n’a pas besoin d’être enregistrée au point d’origine, même si c’est souvent le cas.
Le streaming est une alternative au téléchargement de fichiers, un processus dans lequel l’utilisateur final obtient l’intégralité du fichier pour le contenu avant de le regarder ou de l’écouter. Grâce à la diffusion en continu, un utilisateur final peut utiliser son lecteur multimédia pour commencer à lire du contenu vidéo numérique ou audio numérique avant que l’intégralité du fichier n’ait été transmise. Le terme « média de diffusion en continu » peut s’appliquer à des médias autres que la vidéo et l’audio, tels que les sous-titres codés en direct, le téléscripteur et le texte en temps réel, qui sont tous considérés comme du « texte en continu ».
La musique d’ascenseur était l’une des premières musiques populaires disponibles en streaming ; de nos jours, la télévision sur Internet est une forme courante de média diffusé en continu. Certains services de streaming populaires incluent Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Prime Video, le site Web de partage de vidéos YouTube et d’autres sites qui diffusent des films et des émissions de télévision ; Apple Music, YouTube Music et Spotify, qui diffusent de la musique ; et le site de diffusion en direct de jeux vidéo Twitch.
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❍❍❍ Thank’s For All And Happy Watching❍❍❍ Find all the movies that you can stream online, including those that were screened this week. If you are wondering what you can watch on this website, then you should know that it covers genres that include crime, Science, Fi-Fi, action, romance, thriller, Comedy, drama and Anime Movie. Thank you very much. We tell everyone who is happy to receive us as news or information about this year’s film schedule and how you watch your favorite films. Hopefully we can become the best partner for you in finding recommendations for your favorite movies. That’s all from us, greetings!
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Sprinkle cheerful smile so that the world back in a variety of colors.
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bruhlsbees · 2 years
Text
tom foolery ; 2/2 || clown!daniel x fem!reader
Tumblr media
summary: your husband comes home early and discovers an unlikely sight, leading to a pent up rage that had been waiting to spill
pairing: clown!daniel x fem!reader
word count: 3,980
warnings: violence, swearing, cheating, 18+, minors dni, no smut but my blog is 18+
a/n: thank you all so much for your patience on this! while this completes the tom foolery story of clowniel and momma!reader's introduction, i still have plenty of ideas for future pieces!
taglist: @sabinemorans @boneheadduluc @somethingthatsaysbubbles @spookyanabarnes @nonamec0s @nbraraeaves @rosemaremembrance @rumblelibrary @vverliebt @lucylikesmarvel @melchills-j @godidontevenknowwhat @scuttle-buttle @mypoisonedvine @creme-bruhlee @stephyra @buckyhoneybaby @readingtimee @ajeff855 @clints-lucky-arrow @lemairepstuff @aarielsea @daniel-bruhhl @mybisexualheartbeatsforzemo @im-a-bi-disaster-help @baronofmischief @sithlordpadawan @zemos-katzchen @bigtiddythanos @skutra @crackedout @pamelasensei @lorna-d-m
You never firmly believed in anything - that is of a higher being that had your life planned for you, but what you did believe in was karma. That the choices you made would only come back to bite you in the ass.
And yours stung.
“Joshua, what are you-“
“-Doing back early? I called to tell you, but you didn’t answer your phone,” He glanced at Daniel before back at you and your disheveled state, “I can see now though why you didn’t answer me.”
Pulling back from Daniel, you shook your head and took a few steps forward across the asphalt, “Joshua, it’s not what it looks like.”
Before you could reach out, he took a step back, brows narrowing as he looked down at you in disbelief.
“Not what it looks like? And what is this supposed to look like?” Motioning towards you, he let out a laugh, “Cause it looks to me like you got fucked by this loser.”
He has heard it all before: loser, worthless, idiot, you name it - so Daniel was more than capable of letting Joshua’s insults roll off his back.
Daniel had encountered many mishaps throughout his time as a party clown.
There was the time a child bit him - left him with such a deep puncture wound that it sent him to the emergency room...the drug bust that sent him to the county’s correctional facility due to him being a witness...and the time he had to do an entire act for one middle-aged man who in the end tried to sleep with him.
But never, never, would he have expected to be in a situation like this.
He was certain there was probably a spot in his handbook that explained the reasons as to why you shouldn’t fuck a kid’s mom that he was putting on an act for, but the people must have been idiots to not put at least something down for the ‘what-ifs’ that fell into the realm of actually going through with it.
So, what was he supposed to do?
The logical answer was to simply turn around and walk away - leave the marriage problems to the two involved, but the other part of him, the one that cared deeply for you and didn’t want to just leave you with your psychotic husband - he knew he had to stay.
In a fit of nerves, toying with the hem of his shirt, the words began to crawl up his throat and sit in the back of his mouth, biting down on his tongue to not blurt out the obvious. But still, to his avail, the words came out anyway.
“I fucked your wife!”
Damn.
Turning around, Daniel watched as your gaze fixed on him, eyes wide with an expression of ‘you had to point out the obvious’ painted on your face.
“Yeah, well no shit you fucked my wife. Any other obvious points you wanna point out?”
Crossing his arms over his broad chest, your husband waited for Daniel to answer, tapping his foot impatiently and ignoring the hushed pleads from you.
“Joshua...please, let’s just go-”
“No! No, I’d like to hear what he has to say. Cause you aren’t much help right now, starin’ at me like a dead fish.”
Shrinking down, you looked down at your shoes with a sigh. At this point, you didn’t care what Daniel or your husband had to say, you just wanted to go home.
“Any day now, clown. Some of us have real lives we need to get back to.” Joshua sneered.
Looking over towards you, Daniel frowned and let his shoulders sink a little, feeling defeated himself. He knew he wasn’t your husband, nor your friend - after all, he had only met you that day - but did that mean he had to just ignore the obvious abuse going on between the two of you?
Taking a step forward, Daniel stood now in front of you, blocking you from Joshua’s view before craning his neck up to look at the towering man.
“You’re an asshole, you know that? Doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out,” Daniel paused, watching Joshua’s reaction as he was taken back a bit by the words Daniel spoke, “You got a good thing in front of you but instead you’re out fucking whores that don’t stand up to you, let you walk over them. I don’t care if I’m just a clown, and frankly, I don’t care what you think of me, but I’m not going to stand here and listen to you talk to her like tha-”
The sudden crack to the jaw sent Daniel stumbling back into you, the two of you colliding onto the pavement with you on your back and him in your arms, groaning from the rough punch to the jaw from your husband.
Holding onto Daniel tightly, you lifted your body up enough to inspect his face, worried at the possibility of him suffering from a greater injury than what met the eye.
“Daniel! Oh my goodness, are you okay?”
He knew you were only trying to show that you cared and were worried, but God, did it look like he was okay? He just got his ass handed to him by a 6’3 lunatic who just caught his wife cheating on him by a party clown.
But you were kind, too kind for him, and all he could do was nod, turning his head enough to give you a weary smile before placing his hands on your knees, pushing himself back up to his feet with a groan, rolling his eyes at the laughs that came from Joshua.
“So the party clown wants more, eh? Fine, I could do this all night, doesn’t bother me.”
Catching his breath, Daniel stood up straight, raising his fists up to prepare for whatever blow he was going to get hit with.
“Joshua, enough! This is ridiculous. Let’s just go home! There is no reason for this! Please!” You begged, flinching as you watched with watery eyes your husband deliver another punch, this time to the stomach of Daniel.
You felt sick to your stomach, yes you knew your husband was awful, but for him to act so violently? You knew his ego was crushed to nothing knowing his wife had been fucked good and well by a clown, but to get this way - it was frightening.
Covering your ears, you brought your knees to your chest, eyes locked on the scene in front of you as Joshua now climbed on top of Daniel, pinning him into the asphalt before his large hands wrapped around his throat.
‘He’s going to get off, he will, he’s not going to kill him.’ You found yourself telling yourself, almost to make yourself believe your husband wasn’t a killer.
But two seconds turned into too many, and the sight of Daniel’s purple face made your stomach drop.
“Joshua…” You whispered, “You’re killing him.”
The sight in front of you would have made anyone grow uneasy, sick at the sight of the large man on top of the smaller man who was thrashing under him, squirming to get out of his tight grip and gasping for air.
“Stop it. Josh, please. He’s going to die.”
“Oh come on now, babe, I’m just teaching the prick a little lesson. I’m not going to hurt him. Right, Daniel?” Joshua hummed, loosening his grip to yank him up by his collar, “Actually, can I call you Dan? I feel like I can - seems you and I are close now, hell, we’ve been inside the same woman.”
Dazed out of the lack of oxygen, Daniel could hardly keep his eyes open, rolling in and out of the back of his head before his gaze fixed to you, only for his face to be squished in the hand of Joshua to bring his attention back to him.
“Ah, ah, ah. What are you looking at? You keep her eyes off her, or you’re gonna wish you were dead.”
Letting out a cough, Daniel nodded, lulling his head back and out of Joshua’s grip before catching his breath, rocking back and forth as his senses came back to him.
“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Daniel mumbled to himself, though Daniel already knew that Joshua knew the answer to that one.
“I’ve been told once or twice. Doesn’t get to me, as I’m sure you wish it would.”
Before Joshua could fully climb off Daniel, he took one final look at the pathetic man under him, laughing at the sight of the bruises and blood that stained him.
“Losers like you will always be losers. Don’t think you trying to be the knight in shining armor to her is going to change that.”
Glaring at the back of his head, you felt your fists ball into fists and shake at your sides, your own pent-up anger now erupting.
“Come on, babe. Let’s go home. You can make me dinner and maybe I’ll forgive you for fucking this lo-”
Nobody in that parking lot was expecting what came next. Your short figure whirling back your fist and connecting it with your husband’s nose as he turned around, not even able to finish his sentence before he stumbled over Daniel and landed on his own ass.
“What the fuck?!” Joshua screeched, holding his now bleeding nose, “You broke my nose you bitch!”
Daniel, still trying to catch his breath, watched with his mouth gaped open as you climbed on top of your husband, scrambling with him to scratch and hit at whatever you could make contact with. It was well deserved, that much he knew, but Daniel wasn’t an idiot and had dealt with guys like your husband before - if he wanted to, he’d ruin your life just from you breaking his nose.
Gathering the energy to stand, Daniel let out a grunt as he stumbled, moving weakly towards you, ears ringing at your screams that echoed into the night.
“Hey, stop it,” Daniel began, gently placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to pull your attention away, “He’s not worth it.”
Gasping for air, you leaned back on Joshua’s lap, fists still raised to go back for more punches before you processed what Daniel was saying to you. With your chest heaving, you looked up at Daniel, tears streaming down your cheeks, blinking blankly at him before realizing what you had done.
“Shh, stop it, don’t get that way. Come on, grab on, let’s just go.” Grabbing onto your biceps, Daniel pulled you up and close to his chest, holding you in his arms as he watched Joshua’s movements carefully to make sure he wouldn’t try anything else.
“So what, you’re just going to leave? Go back to the house? The house I bought?” Joshua began, sitting up from his spot on the asphalt, glaring towards the two of you. “You know it’s not as easy as walking away from all this.”
As much as Daniel wished you would just ignore him, continue on, and back to the van where he would take you home, he knew you deserved to be the one to have the final say.
“It will be because if you want your name to stay clean, your reputation - you’ll pack your shit up and leave. Sign those divorce papers willingly when they come, and stay the fuck out of my life you miserable, wretched little bitch.”
Pulling away, you turned and peered down at Joshua from his spot below you, pulling your wedding bands off your finger and tossing them into his lap.
“And while you’re at it, choke on those for me.”
Turning back towards Daniel, you smiled tiredly at him before motioning towards the van, “Come on, let’s get out of here, yeah?”
Feelings his cheeks grow pink, Daniel smiled and nodded, watching as you took his hand and pulled him towards the van, letting him in and getting in yourself before driving out of the rest stop and onto the highway, going back home.
* * *
There was a light feeling inside of your soul that night when you pulled into your parking lot, the garage opening, and you driving the van inside before letting the door shut behind you. For the first time in too long, you had stood up to your husband, said your peace of mind, and left the asshole to fend for himself.
You knew he was adamant on believing that without him you couldn’t make it, but you were determined to prove him wrong.
Not realizing how lost in your thoughts you had been, you jumped slightly at the sound of Daniel clearing his throat beside you.
“Sorry,” He began sheepishly, “I could just tell you were lost in your thoughts and didn’t want you to spiral.”
Shaking your head, you brought your hand up to your face, rubbing your eyes tiredly, “No, I appreciate it. I just-”
You let out a sigh and slouched in your seat, “God, this night has been such a mess.”
Daniel wasn’t sure how to help in this situation, what the best thing would be for him to say, but he knew that having you sulk in your van all night wouldn’t help anything.
“How about we figure all this out in the morning? Let’s go inside and clean up, yeah?”
Feeling his hand rest on your thigh, your gaze trailed up his arm and to his face, where he smiled sympathetically at you. Nodding tiredly, you placed your hand over his, squeezing it for a moment before climbing out of the van, leading him into the house.
From there you led him to the bathroom, pulling out some towels for him before motioning at his clothes.
“I’m sure there are some old clothes of his around, if you don’t mind wearing them, I can wash these for you for the time being, if you’d like.” Even after everything, your mind was still running at what was normal for you - the chores of a housewife and stay-at-home mother.
But Daniel wouldn’t allow that, he wouldn’t let you busy yourself when you deserved the same come down he needed.
Shaking his head, Daniel shut the door and placed his hands on your shoulders, “If it’s not overstepping, why don’t we just clean up, go to bed, and figure all this out in the morning?”
You couldn’t help but smile, laughing a little to yourself at his comment, “Overstepping? I think we did that a long time ago,” Nodding your head, you pulled away from Daniel, beginning to pull off your clothes, “A shower does sound nice…”
And it had been. The silence was comforting that came from the two of you while sharing the shower that steamed the bathroom. You hadn’t expected Daniel to be so tentative with washing your hair and back for you, going so far as to even dry you off before the two of you began to retire towards the bedroom.
Nothing felt different for you when walking into the bedroom. You couldn’t remember the last time you and Joshua had even shared the bedroom, but you weren’t all that surprised when Daniel found himself stuck in the doorway, unsure as to whether or not he should step foot inside.
“You know, I can just sleep on the couch-”
“Daniel,” You began, cutting him off, “Just come to bed.”
Smiling small, Daniel nodded and obliged, moving across the room to the opposite side of the bed you were on, climbing in under the covers and letting his body sink into the plush mattress.
After the long day, the two of you found yourself with a loss of words, both staring blankly at the ceiling, watching as the fan spun in a circle, after circle, after circle.
Daniel was almost asleep and figured you had been long asleep, before hearing you speak up.
“I don’t think I ever said it, but, thank you, for not leaving me with him,” You began, clearing your throat, “You know, you had every right to do so, but you didn’t and I-”
When you fell short, Daniel turned his head towards you, watching as you wiped away your stray tears with the back of your hand, “I just don’t think I’ve ever had someone care about me so much, let alone someone I just met.”
Smiling, Daniel rolled onto his side, inching his way towards you before wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you in to close the gap, moving his hand up to brush away your tears with his thumb.
“If I left you there, I wouldn’t have been any better than him. I’m just glad you didn’t get any more hurt than you did is all,” He tried to ignore the bruises on your back in the shower from when the two of you fell, but he also knew that you were suffering injuries on the inside - both mentally and emotionally. “I just- just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere, so long as you let me stay around.”
The confession surprised you, though you were too tired to react the way you probably had if you were more alert.
“You’re not a loser…” You mumbled tiredly, feeling your eyes begin to droop shut heavily, “And you’re not just...just a clown…”
Before you could properly finish your thoughts, you were snoring lightly in Daniel’s arms, curled up in his arms while he held you, a smile on his face.
* * *
He wasn’t expecting to be so nervous when he rang the doorbell, the bouquet of flowers in shades of oranges, yellows, and reds bundled in his right hand. With his left hand, he quickly adjusted the tie he was wearing and brushed back the loose pieces of hair that fell from his man bun.
It had been two weeks since meeting you. Two weeks of texting, nightly phone calls that lasted until one of you, usually you, fell asleep on the call, to now having your first proper date.
The universe had to cut him some slack, the last time Daniel went on a real date was, well, he couldn’t even remember how long it had been.
What he was not expecting in the slightest, however, was for the door to open and a little kid to answer - your kid for that matter.
“Oh! Hey there, uh, must have the wrong house. I’m looking for-”
“You’re the clown from Ava’s party, aren’t you?” Your son, Liam, asked, pushing his round glasses up at the bridge of his nose.
Not being able to help himself, Daniel sank to his knees with a laugh, matching his height, “How did you know? Was it that obvious?”
With a grin, Liam leaned back a bit, shrugging his shoulders, “I don’t see many boys with long hair. Plus, I heard Momma on the phone with Grandma talking and she mentioned something about a friend stopping by from Ava’s birthday party.”
Nodding his head, Daniel carefully listened before looking the kid up and down. He certainly was your son, and he made a mental note about how he hoped this kid didn’t have any traits for your shitty soon-to-be ex-husband.
“Well, you probably know then that my real name isn’t Dandy? It’s Daniel, but you can call me Dan if you’d like. What about you?”
And Daniel listened, listened as Liam began to ramble about himself, going so far as to even sit on the front porch as he continued to talk about school, his interests, and other random facts the kid could spit out.
It made Daniel wonder, did Joshua ever listen to Liam?
When Daniel heard your voice call for Liam from inside, making your way into the doorway and out onto the porch, stopping with a sigh of relief when you saw Liam.
“Liam, honey, you scared me. What have I told you about opening the door for people you don’t know?” You caught a glimpse and Daniel and smiled, making a mental note to tell him later how good he looked with his hair pulled back, before bending down to scoop Liam up in your arms, hugging him tight and kissing his head.
“He’s your friend, Momma! I didn’t want him to wait outside for you.” Liam explained, wrapping his arms around your neck, resting his head against your shoulder.
“I’m sure Daniel appreciates it honey, but you worried me is all. I just want to make sure you’re safe.” Kissing the top of his head again, you squeezed him once before letting him go and run back into the house where his toys were.
Turning back to Daniel, you smiled, pushing your hair back out of your face, “I’m sorry for having to change out date plans, I hope you don’t mind just hanging out at the house? I couldn’t find anyone to watch Liam and I didn’t want to call off-”
But before you could finish your apology, Daniel leaned forward and pressed his lips to your own, gently pushing the bouquet into your hands before pulling away.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I’m glad we could still hang out. You sure he won’t mind me being around? I just don’t want to confuse him or anything.” Daniel expressed, reaching out to tuck the stray pieces of hair behind your ears.
Shaking your head, you brought the bouquet to your nose and inhaled the sweet scent, sighing pleasantly and smiling when you felt Daniel’s lips press against your temple. “He knows you as my friend, but he does know that we aren’t together anymore - him and his father. He doesn’t seem too fazed by it though, surprisingly, but I don’t want to rush anything on him, with us that is.”
Turning to go back into the house, Daniel followed, shutting the door behind him and taking his shoes off before stepping onto the carpet. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch into a smirk.
“And what are we?” He teased, leaning against the door as you looked up at him, shaking your head.
“Well, you’re the only clown I’m seeing if that’s what you mean.” You whispered, blinking at him as he snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you in close.
“Good, and you’re the only mom I’m seeing.”
Rolling your eyes, you felt him pepper soft kisses to your face and neck, laughing at the swats you gave him before pushing him back, “Why must you always refer to me as the mo-”
“Momma! Are you coming in?”
Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh and shook your head, earning a laugh from Daniel as his point was proven.
Standing still in his spot, Daniel smiled as he watched you move through the living room and into the kitchen, placing the bouquet into a vase and displaying them on the island counter while Liam played at the counter with his race cars.
“Daniel! Do you want to come play cars with me? You can play with my favorite blue car!” Liam called, waving for Daniel to come over.
Daniel had encountered many mishaps throughout his time as a party clown.
There was the time he nearly got shit-faced at a kid’s birthday party, the time he slept with a kid’s mom, and later that same night - fought the mom’s shitty husband.
The life of a party clown meant anything but normal for Daniel, but what he never thought was to have the chance of some form of normality - and standing now in the kitchen with you and your son, playing cars with a young boy who reminded himself too much of him when he was younger - Daniel knew that this was the life he could get used to.
A life of normality, in a strange way, for a party clown.
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kramersoup · 4 years
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man i love 80s movies they make no fucking sense and they’re just straight up For Fun. i’m convinced for beetlejuice they just slapped some deranged clown makeup on michael keaton then said “alright buddy go wild” and let him loose on set, then of course had danny elfman compose the score and bada bing bada boom you got a cult classic. god i love the 80s
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