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#church one always makes me giggle . they r so stupid actually !
vodka-redbull-daily · 4 months
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November 30th, 2023
Yoday I met up with T-- from SB. we've been talking a little bit back and forth about maybe meeting up, but he would want me to meet up at his place and he lives all the way in L--- V----. that's like an hour from me. although, it is kind of strange that that's fairly close to where I grew up. I used to go to church in that little town and even though my childhood home was a solid 30 minutes away, everything was a solid 30 minutes away. it's country enough for my neighbor to own horses and chickens, so things being widely spaced out is pretty typical.
we met at a place called BJ's. I don't know if that counts as irony or not or maybe just a stupid double entendre that made me giggle. It had been raining a little bit that morning but I hadn't brought an umbrella or anything. mostly because I didn't own one, so I was just a little bit damp as I walked into the restaurant. he looked like his pictures, but his voice didn't seem to match. it was pretty high-pitched and a little snobbish. not nasally, but like you could tell he likes to talk down to people whenever he gets a chance. that being said, he was kind of nice to me. he would like to interrupt me anytime I talked, but I think that's just a man thing.
 we talked for a little bit about what I do for work, about what he does for work, but what I do in my free time. the usual stuff before we finally got into the business side of things. he asked me about how much I expect to make and I said about 350 a week. then he went to details about how he hated it when women asked for so much money right off the bat. he didn't say that right, but he had the attitude of assuming anybody who was outside of his budget was just a gold digger. I find it so weird when men on those sites call women gold diggers. Like…  what did you expect? do you not realize what site you're on?
 I guess my price was good enough for him, because he kept talking to me and didn't just leave. he asked about  when or if I would expect to be paid if we simply went out and did a fun little activity together rather than sleeping together. I explained that if we went out and did something small, like this little lunch meeting, then I would just expect him to cover the bill but not to actually get paid for it. if we need to actually fucking, then I would expect to get paid. he agreed with me on this, again dipping into that area of thinking that any women who expects to get paid it's just a gold digger, and then he talked about trying to invite me to a Renaissance Fair that's happening nearby. He said  he could tell that I would enjoy Renaissance fair, which I feel like is a little bit of a read, but not incorrect. after that, he walked me to my car, of course commented on the stickers, and they went back in to pay the bill.  we'll see if the renaissance fair thing pans out, and even though he was one of the least annoying people that I met with,  Lago Vista is just really hard to drive so I don't know if we're going to be together for much longer.
 later on in the day, R------- texted me and sent me $50 just get some pictures. he didn't even want nudes or anything, just some pictures of me. I sent him some of my stockpile that I have since it takes me forever to actually take a new pictures. I always feel like I look fat, or ugly, or just awkward in any pictures I take. so, I just have a bunch that I send to guys over and over again. honestly,  I haven't run into a problem doing this yet. most guys ghost me before they even ask for more than the pictures I already have taken.  even though he didn't specifically ask for news, he did ask for a picture of my tits later on that night and I sent them. why not? my face isn't in them.
Also, as I was pulling into my parking spot at work, my steering died. like I would turn the wheel but the tires wouldn't spin with it. I texted W---- about it and he sent me some money to get it towed. he also sent me some money  for Ubers back and forth, especially since we have that party coming up on Friday. he talked about helping me change the oil and looking at the car himself since it's been acting funny for so long, but at this point with the steering acting all wonky, it needs to be like that as soon as possible. the only problem with working second shift is that all of the places were closed so I just had to drop it off at some random mechanic, call them, and leave a voicemail explaining the situation as best I could. hopefully, it'll be better in the morning.
Total Earned: $5,570
Body Count: 22
Dick Pics: 20
Videos: 2
Nudes sent: 2
Head Recieved: 3
Head Given: 15
Sex Ranking:
B------
Him
T----
W-----
P------
F----
G---
A---
G--
R--
T------
J--
M--- (x2)
D--
J------
A----
M---
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iblamemikegreen · 3 years
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nobody talks about the destruction that being sexually abused as a child actually causes
ramblings by a survivor fighting to survive: pt 7
narcissism (noun) - selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
my mother was beautiful. it’s true. a real bonafide beauty queen. armed with poise, grace, talent, natural beauty, carefully practiced soft spoken words, and a constant polite smile. 
so shiny and perfect and wonderful. on the outside.
on the inside, however, she was one of the ugliest people to have ever stepped foot on this earth. she was mean, vindictive, manipulative, vain, narcissistic, cruel, selfish. ugly.
another doll in the dollhouse. fooling everyone she came in contact with, having them all think that she was so demure and innocent. 
when I was 11 and finally came forward about being repeatedly sexually abused for 6 years by my own grandfather (my mother’s father), my mother decided to sacrifice my safety and well being in order to protect her “Christian reputation.” 
“this is embarrassing” “what will the rest of the church think of us?” “Lindsey don't say anything to anyone about this, it’s shameful and gross” “I cant believe this is happening to me”
she never told me that it wasn't my fault. because she blamed me for ruining her perfect world. her perfect family. her perfect image. 
instead of blaming my abuser, she blamed me, the terrified and lonely 11 year old victim.  
she made the abuse that I had to endure, about herself. her permanent victim mentality bled through into everything, even her own daughter’s sexual abuse. she decided to stick her head in the ground like a coward and pretend like the abuse didn't happen, and if I ever tried to bring it up or exhibited a behavior attributed to PTSD she would cry and make it all about herself. because everything was always about her. always. 
more often than not, I find myself wishing that I had a mother that loved me. but she never did, and she never will. so I've decided to lay it all out in the open here and write a public letter to her in order to obtain the closure I need to move on with my life:
Dear Stephanie,
I would like to start off by saying that you lost the right to refer to yourself as my “mother” the second you decided to protect the man who destroyed my childhood instead of protecting me. because of you, the monster that ripped away any sense of safety, happiness, comfort, trust, and humanity from me didn't go to jail. he wasn't even registered as a sex offender. a cretin that sexually abused his own granddaughter from when she was the ages of 5-11 wasn't even registered as a sex offender because YOU and your wretched family cried to the judge and prosecutor because you wanted to protect your false pious reputation. what you did was beyond the realm of evil, and I hope you feel shame for it for the rest of your empty pathetic existence.
when I was 13 I overheard you while you were talking to your morally bankrupt mother on the phone. you were complaining about how I “wasn’t getting any better.” and how “it was embarrassing that I couldn't just let the past go.” well, while you tried to pretend like the abuse just never happened, I couldn't. you don't know what it’s like to have someone hold complete power over you. you don't know what it’s like to live in desolation as a child, fearful of being trapped in a room alone with your grandfather because you know he takes pleasure in hurting and destroying everything that you are. you don't know what it’s like to have your innocence and childhood completely ripped from your tiny fingertips before you even know how to spell your own fucking name. you never even bothered to try and understand the pain and suffering I had to endure. you didn't care about anything other than yourself, and your public image. 
you never apologized. and you never will, because you’re too far gone to even being to understand the calamity of your shitty parenting, and your heinous decisions. you created your own false reality, and separated yourself from the true world because all you wanted was attention. me being the victim of sexual abuse was just too much of the “spotlight” not being directed to you, so you decided to make yourself the victim in all of this. any mention of what I had to endure and you’d cry, asking why this happened to you. your reputation, your family, you you you you you you you. 
a few years after the “scandal,” as you so gracefully put it, happened, you and I were shopping at the mall. all of a sudden you pulled me aside into a store, giggling as you did so. when I asked what was going on, you pointed across the hall and there he was. the monster that tortured and molested me for six years, walking with his enabler of a wife, hand and hand, shopping at the same mall as us. you were treating it as if it were some kind of innocent game of hide and seek. acting as though me having to see the embodiment of detrimental and ground wavering fear and pain was no big deal. you got angry at me when I started crying, because I was ruining your shopping trip.     
you’re impossible to reach, because you don't even exist anymore. you just don't get it. you’re not even human. you’re just a phantom, remnants of some washed up beauty queen who was so narcissistic and vain that she couldn't stand her own daughter surviving life destroying trauma at age 11 because it drew attention from you. 
you were my biggest bully throughout the entirety of my life. no matter what I did, it was never good enough for you. or maybe it was, and you just thought it was fun to build me up one step, then cut me down five steps. I was always too ugly, too fat, too smart, too stupid, too untalented, too poorly dressed, too bad at makeup, too this, too that, not enough this, not enough that. it was exhausting, talking to you. being around your suffocatingly negative and jealous aura. you were so insecure about yourself and your fading beauty queen looks that you took it all out on your only child, like a miserable old hag. and yet you wondered why I never wanted to cultivate a relationship with you. 
I still vividly remember the moment I realized that you never loved me. it was June 2010, I was 15, and you and my dad were in the midst of a stressful divorce. it was stressful because you refused to leave the house, even though you weren't welcome, because you just loved to make everyone around you completely miserable; but I digress. we were sitting in your car in front of the house, and I told you that when the divorce was finalized I wanted to live with my dad full time, and for him to have full custody of me. it was then that you turned, looked directly at me, and said, “Lindsey that’s not fair. I don't want to have to pay child support.” you truly a miserable monster, just like your mother, and just like your father.     
there aren't enough words in this galaxy to explain how much you completely and utterly failed me in every aspect of being a mother. and honestly, I just don't have the time to waste on you anymore. I'm writing this to fully stop all of these thoughts, all these words left unsaid, from continuing to circle around in my brain. you aren't worth the stress, you really aren't. I cant even remember the last time I spoke to you, or saw you, because I cut off all contact years ago. maybe once upon a time I needed you as my mother, but when I realized that you were never one to begin with, that need faded. I grew strong on my own. I am who I am because I made me, and I did a hell of a good job. you don't get to take any credit in my successes, in my life, in my survival, because you are nothing to me. congratulations, Stephanie. you finally get what you’ve always wanted, the unwavering heat of the spotlight, because I'm exiting your stage for good. 
I don't forgive you, I'm not sure I ever will. because you don't deserve it. saying, “I'm sorry for whatever I may have done to upset you,” is NOT an apology. it’s not even a small step in taking actual accountability. but I don't expect much from someone as selfish and fake as you.
before you try to pretend to cry and say that I'm being mean to you, just know this, you aren't a victim. I'm not your true adversary here. you are your own worst enemy. these are just the consequences to your own narcissistic and evil actions, and you have to live with them forever in your empty, loveless, fake life.
you’ve always preached about how much of a “good christian” you are, and threw me away in order to protect that precious reputation of yours, so I'll end with this: I hope you’re somewhere praying.  
Sincerely,
The Daughter Who No Longer Thinks Of You
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xolotoofficial · 4 years
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Recorded in Advance
> “Alright, babe,” Marvus’ manager starts, making sure the bandages around his chest are well visible under his jacket, but not as visible as the layers of gold chains sitting on top. He smirks and pats him on the shoulders, eying the golden diamond-shaped studs in his ears. “You’re looking pitiful enough. Go out there and make me and your clown buddies proud.”
Marvus feels way better now that he’s had a couple of days to heal. If he was, oh, Jade, let’s say, it would probably take much longer for him to heal, but he slowly swaggers into the interview, feeling like a million but walking like he’s still injured, but healing. The stab wounds on his body were closed up at this point, and the scarring was already looking pretty minimal, but he looked like he was being held together by cotton and stitches under all the wrappings.
The day he woke up, he let them photograph his chest, and it was emblazoned across every magazine - a clown, martyred at his own show, bloody and pitiful, tore the fuck up and still devastatingly hot. Gore was barely a kink on Alternia.
The cerulean woman in her pencil skirt and killer heels splattered with warm blood sits with a notepad in her lap and a winning smile. She was a familiar site. They had done interviews before, and she was very efficient. “Are you ready? Do you remember all the questions and answers we’re going through today, Mr. Xoloto?”
He smiles and nods, feeling the cameras on him again. It’s familiar, and he can honestly say he missed it. “Yes, I remember. It’s a steel trap up here, even if it’s been knocked around a lil’ bit.”
She feigns concern and they both cackle with each other. She was easy to win over, as easy as anyone else, but at least she had fun with it.
“You’re such a messy bitch.” She croons, recrossing her legs, one set of eyes looking at her notes and the other staring into him with glee. “Alright, everyone shut up and start rolling!...” She herself smiles into the camera. “Hello and welcome to all of you at hive watching, this is Krayvt Terrox, of course. Today I’m joined by one of the most masterful jesters this side of Alternia in an exclusive interview. Known for the size of his crowds, the size of the bloodshed, and the size of him… well. Marvus Xoloto, it’s so good to have you here, and so soon after this grizzly attempt on your life.”
He smiles and nods lazily, moving very little. “Only by motherfuckin’ grace, sister. It’s great to be here, Kravyt.”
“Let’s start with the obvious - your attacker isn’t a stranger to the disciplinary system, and according to multiple sources, he’s been on the cull list for some time for abandoning his duties and past violence on trolls of higher blood. It’s rather stupid of him to brazenly walk on stage when common knowledge among us who actually use our pans that you like to keep a certain amount of attention and cameras on you. I have to ask, did you know Lanque Bombyx personally?”
Marvus shakes his head. “No. We had some mutual acquaintances once upon a time, but I didn’t know him, or about him, or get any warnin’s on his violent ass nature. We’ve attended some same parties, but other than that? Nada.”
“Oh, interesting. Let’s start with those acquaintances. Did you have any altercations or issues with those mutual acquaintances?”
He shakes his head again. “Oh, no. It’s funny, the only people we both knew seemed to either not want much to do with him, or just didn’t have nice things to say. I take care of my friends, ya know? And that includes listenin’ to em, so I did my best.”
“Of course, Marvus the Great wouldn’t be associating with such base criminals. I’m sure the people who lost him to the cull list were very disappointed.”
Marvus laughs. Thinking of Daraya being disappointed in Lanque’s crimes tickled him. “Can’t say fer sure since he came up so rarely, but I’m sure they were pretty g-d bummed.”
Kravyt’s eyes narrow and she leans in. “Now, about the parties? What’s the secret there?”
“Oh, god, ain’t no secret. They was jus’ meetin’ ups I was havin’ with some of my siblin’s. He was there at the same time, in my ass and all that. The only secret I might think was there was that he was followin’ me. Ain’t uncommon, but ain’t impressive on me.”
His interrorgator simply laughed, flipped a page in her paper. “Gosh, this is a funnier story than I expected. Here we all were, thinking he was some sort of hired hand or a wronged quad, but he’s really a jealous nobody. So, what happened that night? Why does Marvus Xoloto lose to an overly desperate fan like that? It’s not every day that someone attempts on a clown’s life, let alone escapes from the scene, and a Jade blood on top of that. A well-trained subjugglator would be expected to win that match up, easy.”
“Well, I ain’t subjug trained, I’m laughsassin trained. We more like a clown utility knife, less of a club to the face, ya dig?” One hand plays with a chain around his neck, the other hand waving away the last statement. “Not disparagin’ of course, I love the heavy hitters in my family, but I ain’t made to maintain that kinda rage all long term and shit. After a bumpin’ ass night of performin’, ya could guess that I was tired a-f. Ain’t help that on top of tired I was all cocky and shit - I’ve always been the type for spectacle, and I ain’t thought that through much at the time. I was jus’ tryin’ ta stop him, wound him all for-life-like, put on a show, and I got blood in my eyes for just a second and, well, I got the beatin’ I well up and deserved for bein’ a show-off, durin’ the fight and durin’ that long-ass slam session.”
Marvus takes a pause. He stops his fidgeting and his eyes cut to the ground. Clowns don’t show shame, but he does it regularly on global television. Even Kravyt, who knew what the questions and answers were ahead of time leans in while the camera does the same on his face.
“But I wanted to make my fans all happy, you know? Shit, they show was gettin’ ruined, and I wanted to give em another to make up for it... That was my b. If I knew he was such a criminal I woulda been more on toppa dat shit, but I ain’t sure it mattered much. Like I said, I’d been performin’ for a long time at that point - like, i-d-k, almost 3 hours?” He pauses though, stage whispering to the woman across from him. “And don’t tell nobody, but I mighta been a lil’ slack on my training. Gotta get that fixed now, don’t I?”
Kravyt nods in understanding, swinging her foot. “Thank you for that, Marvus. I’m sure that was difficult to talk about. Let’s move onto something a little less clinical - how are you feeling?”
Marvus beams for the camera. “Aww, thanks sis. I’m doin’ pretty okay. I should be all healed up sooner than later. Then I can get back to all that good” - and sometimes illegal, you know how it is - “work I’m motherfuckin’ known for.”
He winks through Kravyt and she blushes, but it wasn’t really for her. That one was for the cameras - the rebels he had been helping for the past two sweeps. The clubs he bought out. The performers he had been recruiting. He wasn’t out of the game, and he wanted them to know that.
“And what about the church? How are they feeling about all of this? What about your friends?”
Marvus nods sagely at her question. “Well, my family ain’t to happy. Last I heard they were makin’ their own moves about this. Somethin’ about uppin’ security every-motherfuckin-where, and they hired some kickass to the case? Wild a-f. I ain’t all involved or nothin’ cuz, ya know, I’m a motherfuckin’ loud mouth and alla dat, but they’ve been supportive of me. And as for friends...”
He smiles a little, face as neutral as usual. “Well, they’re goin’ a lil’ SHITHIVE. I get it though. Somethin’ terrible happened to one of their friends, all because of Lanque. He’s gettin’ all sorts of people hurt with these weird motherfuckin’ antics. Who knows who’s gonna be all in the path next? Can’t imagine how hurted his cloister must be - they be their own sorta family, and I kinda feel some kinship about that. I know most trolls ain’t gettin’ what clowns got, but I know, if I up and imagine, it would suck if I fucked up and got a sister of mine hurt, you know?”
And that one was for Lanque.
“How kind of you to empathize with the associates and friends of a criminal. But that almost sounds just as juicy as this -”
“None of that, sis. This is just me havin’ my own fun. I mean, the church got him covered - I get somethin’ of my own, I think. I just wish his family the best.”
“You really have a gilded heart, don’t you?”
“Aww, I don’t know about that…”
“And so humble.” She giggles. “One last question, then.” Kravyt nods and finishes her scrawling. “It’s really good to see that you’re alive and well. Is there anything else you’d like to tell the good people at home?” Marvus turns to the camera to his left and gives another best winning smile. “I’ll be going on a whole new tour in three nights from now to celebrate my good health! Tickets are available now, and locations are listed up on my website. While you’re there, if you’re feelin’ up to it and know anything at all about the location of my attacker, there’s a text form you can submit, only available to people who’re signed up to my Fanclub.”
“It was lovely to have you on tonight,” the smiley four-eyed woman chirps pleasantly, offering her hand. He leans forward with an exaggerated wince, reciprocating the action. She looks at him with her own over-acted pity. “Thank you again, Marvus.
“...aaaand cut it! Start shutting this down. Good job, Marvus. We’ll get these all edited up and it should be going up as soon as it’s done. A day or so. You were wonderful as usual - only took three takes to get all the footage we need.”
Marvus stands and stretches, clapping his hands together once. “Glad we could do this, f-r. Hey, don’t be a stranger, sis - maybe we’ll get to talk without me actin’ like I ain’t ever been stabbed before, lmaooo.”
She shrugs. “I suppose it might be good for ratings - people really are obsessed with you. Who knew that a person could capitalize on their powers like this? Like, shit, I don’t get it, but clearly huffing your voodoo-vibes or whatever is better than coke.”
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calliecat93 · 4 years
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Top 5 Things I Disliked About Red vs Blue: Season 2
When I decided to do this series, I knew it was gonna be hard to do lists for Blood Gulch. Not because I can’t think of anything I like or dislike specifically, but as I said before, BGC is mainly comedic driven. The worst I can say is ‘this isn’t funny’ and critique the earlier production standards. Which that’s kinda mean since they were working with what they had and trying to learn to do the show. As such, I have to reach on Dislikes for these and S2 was a tough one in that regard. I managed to come up with five, but GOD I had to stretch haaaard on it.
But still, I did it. Just remember, take this with a grain of salt. So here we go, Top 5 Things I Disliked About RvB S2.
#5. Doc
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If you asked me which of the BGC to write out and never bring back… I’d probably have to pick Doc. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate him, but I’ve also never loved him. He comes off more whiny than funny, and most of the time he’s only funny due to the back and forth with O’Malley. Otherwise, usually… he’s just there. Even here in S2, while having a pacifist medic in a cast where several are trigger happy could lead to some funny stuff, Doc was just an annoyance. The situations he got into were funny, like getting knocked into the Warthog when the Blues unknowingly made it go rogue, but he was literally just there for the ride. Something IDT later season really improved aside form 16 and 17, which tbh I think is stretching it.
IDK, I just find Doc whiny and kinda boring. Even if he’s meant to be the annoying, disrespected nice guy, doesn't Donut kinda fit that slot already? Heck, they both even have the recurring ‘disappear for seasons and then suddenly comes back’ joke. The only times that I feel invested in Doc is when he has O’Malley, which is how he re-entered the plot here. I’m gonna save more about that in the S3 posts, but on his own? Doc just… doesn’t really work and I didn’t really miss him in between the Reds dumping him and him reappearing when O’Malley infected him. It’s also a flaw IDT recent seasons have really fixed, though they are trying. Plus I don’t hate Doc and some jokes with him do work (the gag of his naming made me giggle), I'm just… indifferent. But that’s why he’s at the top of the list since the most I can say is I find him whiny and not as funny,
#4. The Cyborg Subplot
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So due to losing Lopez and because he’s Sarge, Sarge decides to turn one of the Reds into a cyborg to do all the stuff that Lopez did. He settles on Simmons. Now in and of itself, the subplot is fine. It leads to a good few jokes, like Grif trying to ruin Simmons’ parts after the surgery or a few gags like Simmons shooting his own foot and of course, faxass. While IDT the season would have been hurt without it, it has plenty of funny bits. Sow hat’s the problem. Well… like I said, cutting it wouldn’t have hurt anything. It kinda is just there to give the Reds something to do during the O’Malley and Tex stuff since otherwise, they’d just be standing around and taking… well, more than normal. Otherwise, it’s only significance plot-wise is Tucker tuning into their frequency, which is important in the finale when he picks up Vic and Sarge’s conversation.
So yeah, the subplot isn’t all that important. But it is still funny, so I don't mind it being there. But nowadays… how much so we see this come up? I mean Grif got mutilated by a tank and got another guy’s body/organs haphazardly stitched on. Simmons, while he possibly gave up those parts to Grif willingly, was otherwise forcibly converted into a cyborg. This… hasn’t really come up again. I mean the only time I think Simmons mentioned it in-show was as a brief joke in S11. Nine seasons later. I don’t think Grif’s side of it has come up at all ever again. Though… considering you can only get so many jokes out of this setup since everyone is always in armor, I do understand why. Though I feel with Simmons’ side at least, they could play with it some more, both comedically and maybe even storywise. But that may be my need for Simmons content talking…
So yeah, the subplot was okay. It’s at Number Four since I don’t hate it and it was funny. I just feel like nothing would be lost without it, especially since it pretty much never comes up again. Maybe one day though, who knows? At least the fanfic writers keep it alive XD
#3. The Caboose Forgetting Church Thing
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Okay this is brief, but it does annoy me. During the whole trip into Caboose’s mind, Caboose’s memory of Church gets shot. As such, Caboose forgets who Church is. Makes sense, O’Malley killed the personification of Church in Caboose’s mind, so his mind would forget it. It also explains why Caboose got, well… for lack of a better way to put it, intellectually challenged later on due to having three AI’s in his brain and all the chaos that broke out. But Caboose forgetting Church lasts like… one episode? Maybe two? Anyways, Burnie explained on the commentary that it was just too hard to write out so they did one joke with it, and then just dropped it. Probably for the best... but then we have to figure out how this works in-continuity... damn it.
Really this is only on here because it forces me to try to figure out how this is possible in a show sense. Which yeah I probably don’t need to, but I am a continuity loser who tries to piece together these things. If I had to guess, maybe the memory of Church fixed itself somehow or Caboose was able to recall after being around Church for a little while. But I honestly really don’t know, and trying to think it through hurts my brain. It also did little to nothing either story-wise or comedy-wise, at least we got a few jokes out of the cyborg subplot. IDK, I feel like they gave up on it too soon. But then again this is the saga where they’ll break/ignore continuity for the sake of a joke and that’s just how these seasons worked. Hence why I put it smack-dab in the middle.
#2. Some Holdover S1 Issues
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You can tell that there was a mass improvement in terms of production for Season Two. Pacing felt stronger, more was going on, characterizations began to settle in, and they even began to form more of a plot. They clearly had a much better idea of what they were doing now that they got through Season One and I think things like Matt becoming more involved in writing and production as well as Gus moving back to work on the show really helped as well. That being said, not everything got resolved. Most did, but there are still a few holdouts.
Audio mixing is a LOT better, especially when it comes to effects. The filter is still a little distracting, though better compared to S1. Not all the characterizations really set in. Grif and Donut are about 75% there and Simmons and Tucker are probably the least set in stone. The traits are there, like Simmons clinginess to Sarge and Tucker actually showing some competence when forced to, but nothing set in stone. Donut’s also on the right path with his hobbies and tendency to babble into TMI territory, but the voice is still off and his personality isn’t quite there yet. There’s some other, but I’ll touch on it in the Likes list. Some jokes could also still drag, like the whole switch joke where some of Church and Tucker’s back and forth went on a little too long.
We’re clearly making progress, but the mark hasn’t quite been hit. It’s still an improvement over S1 though, the pacing especially. This is nitpicky, but still it’s there. But hey it’s progress, and that is never a bad thing. So yeah, RvB is still evolving here, but the progress bar is loading steadily and trust me, by S3 I think we’ll be settled in… well, for the most part.
#1. Some Outdated Humor
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The BGC was made from 2003 to 2007. Obviously, there’s gonna be some stuff that is outdated. Take the graphics themselves for example. Halo has evolved, so the game can look a little outdated, especially when you compare the original footage to the remastered footage. Let's put it this way, VIC is uncanny in the remaster… and is utterly horrifying in the original version. Thank God that the DVD is the remaster and I was spared of looking at that monstrosity. Visuals aren’t the only thing though, some pop culture references can also come off as outdated, like Creed joke in the RL vs Internet PSA. So can some of the humor that shows how stupid we were back only two decades ago.
There are… some jokes that are uncomfortable to listen to. For example, there’s the Grif shaming himself joked by saying he’s a girl and likes ribbons in his hair. It’s not the worst joke and clearly, it isn’t made to offend… but nowadays I think it could look offensive to certain individuals. It didn’t necessarily offend me, but it did kinda make me feel uncomfortable when I first watched it, but it could be me thinking it over too hard. There’s also the casual usage of the R word. Last season it came up a bit, but I noticed it came up more frequently here. Not excessively, but there were quite a few instances where it was treated as a casual curse word. Obviously back in 2004 we didn’t realize this was an offensive term, and I think they’ve even said that they regret the casual usage of it during the early years. You certainly would probably not hear that word used unless maybe to emphasize how terrible a character is, but even then I think they’d be more careful.
Now obviously RvB uses a lot of adult and offensive humor, especially in this era. I guess you can kinda call it the web version of South Park, only RvB has never really resorted to shock humor. It puts it above many, /many/ animated adult comedies in that regard. Still, when you run for this long, you’re gonna have some outdated elements. It’s not necessarily their fault, it just shows that times has changed. Still, it does make some stuff hard to look back on without cringing, and I imagine that the Founders would agree. So yeah… there’s just some stuff that wasn't fun to look back over and S2 isn’t the only offender, but this was where it stood out to me and took me out of the moment. As such, it is Number One.
(Top 5 Likes)
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atmilliways · 6 years
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1!
“Toki trying to convince Nathan to do something lame.” It’s lame in the sense that I couldn’t come up with anything particularly lame. I sort of had an idea when I started, but it took a weird hop a little while in and ended unexpectedly. I’m not sure if I want to continue it or rework it to fit into the chaptered fic I’m still toiling away at. 
(mtl prompts list)
It started off totally wholesome and innocent. 
Okay, no it didn’t. It started out with Toki walking in on Nathan fucking the manager over his desk, and the little shit ran screaming from the room like he’d just seen his parents doing it and needed to wash the dirty scene from his eyeballs with boiling acid. 
Then the texts started. As a rule, Nathan didn’t bother to read any texts from the Scandinavian guitarists because they were always a horrible mishmash of misspelled words, typos, autocorrects, and non-English words — in other words, completely incomprehensible. Toki, being generally more talkative, was the worst about this. Nathan solved the problem of the Norwegian relentlessly blowing up his phone  first by ignoring it, then eventually by leaving it in his jeans pocket to get taken out with the wash. He was issued a new one, with a new number, the next day. 
Since avoidance seemed to be working pretty well, Nathan continued the trend until it snowballed into the entire band just sort of forgetting to include Toki in things. That worked pretty well for a while too, until the whole Special Persons Invites Club mess. By then Toki seemed to have given up on trying to talk to him about what he’d seen, but Nathan was still vaguely on alert for the idiot to blurt it out right there in front of Pickles and Skwisgaar during a club meeting. Why else would he exclude Murderface, the band member most likely to shit his pants at the news and have a screeching gay crisis that could go on for weeks?
Well, aside from the fact that it was Murderface, that guy was pretty rank. But yeah, so totally incapable of coming out of the closet himself that he’d just ruin it for as many other people as possible. 
When nothing happened, Nathan just sort of figured Toki had forgotten about it. And then he’d started having those weird dreams about whales, and that thing with the liquid master had happened, and Pickles was so mad at him and pissing him off so much it was starting to border on cold war feud territory… and he kinda forgot too. 
Fast forward about a year and Nathan was still reeling from all the shit that had gone down. They all were, really. Everything from Roy’s death to Charles’ sudden resignation to Toki and Abigail’s rescue, it was too much to take in and make sense of. Had they become better people or something? Were they expected to save the world now, all by their dumbass selves? 
It was Nathan’s turn to sit in the box-like hospital room with Toki and keep an eye on him, make sure he didn’t wake up from his frequent drugged naps and go totally postal on the doctors and nurses or whatever, so he was crammed into the unfairly narrow visitor’s chair and trying to think. Not just about all the weird shit that had gone down, either… Ever since that, hrm hrm HRMMM, thing with Abigail on the Dethsub, Charles hadn’t been anything more than politely civil towards him. It had fucked up the whole boss-and-employee-with-benefits thing all to hell, and Nathan couldn’t help wondering guiltily if that was part of why the guy had left. They’d heard through the grapevine that Charles had taken over for that old priest who’d died, but none of Nathan’s calls or texts to the man seemed to go through anymore. 
“Nathans?” croaked a raspy voice. The frontman looked up to meet Toki’s bleary gaze. “Are you here’s to helps me goes to the b-a-s-t-h-r-o-h-m-n-s-e?” 
“Uhhhh…” It took his fumbling brain a moment to figure that one out, but when he got it, he grimaced. “No. They gave you a catheter after you pissed on Skwisgaar and he fell and broke his ass for a couple days. Just… go ahead and pee where you are.”
“Oh.” Toki giggled, either about the Skwisgaar thing or at the privilege of peeing without wetting the bed. “Okays.”
There was a deeply uncomfortable silence, during which Nathan pretended he didn’t know exactly what his band mate was doing over there. 
“Nathans?” Toki asked again. 
Fully expecting to be asked for ice water and a crazy straw, Nathan sighed and levered himself out of the uncomfortable chair. They all took Toki duty every few days, partly to protect the hospital staff but partly to reassure themselves that the kid — even though Nathan was technically younger, it was hard not to think of Toki as the baby of their fucked up little family — really was alive and well. Or at least, healing. Not dead, anyway, and definitely no longer a missing-in-action Schrödinger’s guitarist. After all that time they’d spent dicking around when they could’ve just fucking manned up and helped with the search, getting him water or his deddybear seemed fair enough penance. It beat having to say sorry, anyway. 
“Yeah, what?”
“You remembers… that time what’s I saw you and Charleses doings it up the butts?” 
Nathan froze, all the blood slamming out of his face in shock. “Uhhhhhhhhhh…” 
“Is he mads at you ‘cause of Abigails?” Toki continued weakly but earnestly. “I talks to her yesterdays and she saids maybe that ams what happens why he goes to that church place.” 
The creepy thing about that was, Abigail had opted to be moved to another hospital so she could be closer to her family. Several weeks ago. 
“So maybes whats you should does is… apoljisecks to hims in person, likes you did with Pickle.” 
“Toki, that’s…” Nathan scowled, trying to find the right words to convey how he felt about that suggestion. “Apologizing is really fucking lame and not metal. And you know how I feel about that.” 
Toki just looked at him with a grimace that said, Reallies? Okays, we does it this ways then. He groped around for the bed controls and hit the button that elevated his pillows slightly, so he was practically sitting up. 
“Nathans,” he slurred, “I talks to all the guys, and they says you should does it. Espescially Pickle, he said he was ams very moved whens you did it to hims. And Skwisgaar says you ams really bumming everyones out because you needs to get laid. Even Morderface agrees you beens in a real weirds mood since the submarines… I think that says a lots.” 
“What… does that say?” Nathan asked with menacing slowness, his scowl deepening stubbornly, but on the inside he was totally freaking out. Toki had talked to the guys about this? All of them? 
And those assholes actually backed him up on this apologizing thing? 
Toki gave him a wavery smile. “That you misses and cares about hims.” 
“I don’t— God, you’re making it sound gayer than it actually is.”
“Whats am gayer than sex in the butts with two guys?” Toki asked, puzzled.
There wasn’t really any good answer for that, so Nathan just stomped over to the window and glared out through it at nothing, his arms crossed sullenly over his chest. Yeah, he was pissed at Toki, but dammit if the kid hadn’t hit a nerve about his conflicted feelings over their former manager.
He thought about the long string of texts on his phone — all sent to Charles, with no reply for months. At some point the stupid knock knock jokes and links to cat memes had given way to things like Did you get my text and Just fucking talk to me you dick.
He thought about how he really had been in a piss-poor mood ever since being stuck on that sub for three months, and how it no longer felt quite adequate to simply blame his own actions on Charles holding out on him so they could all focus on the new album. After all, it was the album that was somehow supposed to save the fucking world, right? And sure, Charles could’ve explained that at the time, but Nathan had to admit it wouldn’t have had the same convincing affect as a giant flying dude coming out of nowhere and murdering the head of their record label with scary-ass mind powers. 
He thought about fooling around with Charles, getting the guy to loosen up a little for a change, and how afterwards Charles would be all relaxed and pliant and actually laugh at shit like a normal person… 
“Nathans?” 
“WHAT?” 
“Can I haves a cups of ice waters whats got a real cool straw?” Toki asked petulantly. His pout at being snapped at was practically audible. 
When Nathan stomped out of the room to get the requested drink, he stopped a passing doctor by grabbing onto one lab-coated arm and swinging her around. 
“Hey,” he demanded gruffly, jabbing a thumb back over his shoulder towards Toki’s room, “is that dildo okay to be moved?” 
The doctor blinked. “Um, yes, Mr. Explosion. He still needs to be on medication, but he’s healing up more quickly than expected.” 
“Good,” Nathan growled, “because were going on a trip. Get him ready to go by… uh, just as soon as possible. Got it?” He’d been about to say tomorrow, but now that he’d decided on his next course of action he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. Releasing the bewildered physician, he rounded on the klokateers standing guard outside Toki’s door. “You guys, you call… someone, and make sure the submarine is ready to go. And tell all the guys, too.” 
He straightened up to his full imposing height — not that anyone around him needed to be more intimidated, it just felt cool and important to do every once in a while. Without realizing it, his growl was starting to take on some of the ominous rumble of prophecy. 
“We’re going back into the ocean.”
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philanddanxreader · 7 years
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Want To Shoot A Video?
Hello, Lovebugs.
Dan X Reader
Warnings- smut. A lot of smut.
Blurb where Dan and the reader finally agree to his wishes for filming them do the sexy times and Dan gets off to it later on 😌 please I need this •_• ~ 🌹
You were leaving back home in two days. The last two weeks had been wonderful together. Dan took you to every touristy thing he could think of. He took you to his parents for a few days so his mother could show you and tell you every embarrassing moment of his life. But now it was just the two of you hanging out in his room trying to get in as many cuddles as possible before you had to catch your flight.
Dan had released a heavy sigh as he squeezed you tight around your middle.
“Penny for your thoughts?” You said receiving his kiss on your cheek.
“I know I'm not supposed to be thinking about it yet but I'm going to miss you like crazy. Are you sure you can’t come move in sooner than half a year?” You returned Dan’s kiss as he snuggled his face into your neck.
“Shhh. You are ruining the cuddling mood.” You had pinched Dan’s arm as you innocently looked up at him. “You are right. You’re not supposed to be thinking about things like this.” Dan’s breath was tickling your neck as he breathed in and out. “I don't want to talk about moving, or leaving. I don't think I want to do anything today. The only thing I want is to just stay here with you and cuddle. Maybe even pretend that I'm not leaving so soon.”
“I hope you can add something else to your plans.” Dan had raised his head from your neck making sure to give you a cheeky grin.
“Hmm, thinking of trying to get into my pants? I think I may need some deep convincing.” Dan made a face at this.
“You have never needed much convincing before. Shall I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively? Maybe I can stroke your hair and sing you a love song through the window from the garden down below.” You let out an audible groan to let Dan know you weren't impressed.
“You really are a regular old Juliet.”
“I think you mean Romeo,” Dan said matter of factly.
“Really? I think you would be the one who would fake a death and then fuck it up so bad that you end up having your plan backfired.” Dan thought for a moment as he was about to make a comment then decided against it.
“See. Now kiss me already. Just like in that stupid old story.” Dan did as you said kissing your lips softly like if he kissed too hard you might break. “I think I'm truly smitten with you.” You said returning another kiss to Dan.
“Smitten? You have spent much of your time around my grandmother and her posh accent.”
“I love your grandma! She is the sweetest. Oh, and the stories she told about you. You could make a whole series of reasons why baby Dan was a fail.”
“I think I change my mind. You can go home now. You are annoying me.” Dan was about to give you another kiss before pulling slightly away from your already expecting lips. “I think I’m going to keep you from telling the world all my embarrassing stories by just never stopping kissing you. I don't know what I'm going to do without you here. I like to kiss you and cuddle you.” You would never admit it but the kissing seemed to work.
“Mmm, what else do you like to do with me?” You said receiving another peck from Dan.
“ Excuse my french but I also really love fucking you. When you leave all I have is my imagination to fill in the bits of you being with me.”
“That was strangely sweet of you just now. You know in an ‘I don't like to masturbate because I would much rather prefer your sweet sweet lady bits.’ kind of way.” Dan pushed you over on your back as he hovered over you.
“I have a proposition for you, and it's not a business one.” You knew exactly what Dan had in mind as his proposition was pressing into your thigh at the current moment.
“You have peaked my interest. Go on.”
“So you can absolutely say no but remember when you said you wanted to get me a goodbye present?” You nodded along thinking you knew where Dan was going with this. “ I want to shoot a video together. But not for youtube.”
You had to take a moment before realizing exactly what Dan was requesting of you. “Are you suggesting that we make an adult video?” Dan had the cheekiest grin on as he nodded his head.
“I know it's probably a no but I do have to ask if you would consider it. It’s just. It would be something just for me. You are the one I am obsessed with. Nothing would make me happier than to have you be the one I get to watch.” It didn't take very long for you to make up your mind. This really wasn't the worst idea. You had been sending Dan photos and little videos for at least a year now. This wouldnt make you worry about it getting in the hands of the wrong person. Or the risk of it being sent to the wrong person as it would be for Dan and only Dan.
“I don't see why not? I think it may be a bit of fun. But no fancy camera. God knows we don't want our sex tape to be in HD.” Dan laughed as he planted a loud kiss against your lips before jumping out of bed to find all of the things the two of you would need.
It had been a week since you had left and for some reason, this time felt even harder. Dan missed the way you would play with his hair in the bed. He hated having to figure out the time difference to even talk to you. If Dan was being honest he really missed fooling around with you. He loved everything about you. You made him laugh like no one ever has. He never felt awkward around you. but at the moment all he had on his mind was your body.
The way his hands roamed over your body. When you would get goosebumps when he would touch you lightly or run slow circles on your thigh. The way you would smile after as you made him cuddle up. Dan didn’t like to feel vulnerable or needy. He liked to be in control of everything he possibly could be. You being gone was something he couldn't control. If it was up to him you would be living here with Phil and himself. Dan tried to push you out of his mind but unfortunately, he had something else that wouldn't let him forget.
Dan decided to run his palm over himself over his boxers before releasing a little whimper. He had been so busy with his new video and missing you that he hadn't had time to properly take care of himself. He dipped his hand under the fabric to give a squeeze to his balls. The more attention he gave himself the more he realized how much he needed this release. He gave a few long strokes before remembering of your little parting gift.
Dan tossed the blankets quickly to the side to grab his laptop and headphones off of his desk. After the two of you shot the risky video on his phone he put it on his computer then quickly forgot about it.
Opening up the video player Dan clicked around until he found the one he was looking for. The video started black making Dan think he must have clicked the wrong thing until he heard your laugh through his headphones. Then suddenly a flash of light as you screeched at him to turn off the flash. The video quickly ended making Dan remember that he did, in fact, have to start shooting the video again.
After clicking next he found exactly what he had been looking for. Dan hit play as he got comfortable against his headboard.his screen lit up from him removing his hand from the phone to rest against the book he had on his side table. There you were looking back at him through the video. You were smiling with nothing more on than your bra and panties. Dan was off screen probably grabbing a condom from his dresser drawer. 
“Should I say something to you? Well, not you but the future you who will watch this. Hi, Danny. It’s me. your smoking hot girlfriend. If you are watching this I am either not reachable by phone or you are all alone sad and in need of some porn. In that case. Enjoy, and tell me how it went afterwards. Sound good? Future you better be telling me how much you miss me.” Dan was back on the screen as he jumped into the bed behind you.
“Oh, this will be the last resort for me. As I would much rather be talking to you. Or actually touching you.” Dan was hovering over you making sure to give you lots of kisses. It was always like this. When you first got there and right before you left. Dan couldn't stop leaving kisses everywhere.
“Do you think we should make this a proper porn video? You know with the whole shebang. Oral for both of us, sex, and then you finish on my boobs.” Both video Dan and watching this Dan gave an audible sigh.  
“You are adorable, I love you so much. But please stop talking.” You made a little zipper motion over your mouth to signal you would try to be as quiet as a church mouse.”Good. Now let me go down on you then fuck you so hard you are feeling the repercussions days later.” You couldn't help the giggle that escaped. you knew he wasn't lying about the last part. It was more of an excitement giggle than anything. 
The next few minutes were a mix of clothes being tossed around on the floor mixed with kisses and little giggles from the both of you. Dan had been so interested in watching what was unfolding between the two of you on his screen that he almost forgot that something was straining at his pants to spring free. Well almost forgot. Dan palmed himself once again letting out a strained moan from the pressure building in the pit of his stomach for the desperate need for a release. 
Freeing himself from his sweatpants and boxers Dan’s cock was already rock hard with the tip slightly leaking precum. Running his left hand over the tip he slowly stroked down his shaft to the base. Giving a squeeze to his balls before working his way back up. 
Looking back at the screen Porn Dan was already going down on porn you. Your thighs were being held down with Dan’s arms wrapped around them so you wouldn't be able to squirm as much. From where Dan had left his phone on the nightstand he was able to have a good vantage point to watch your chest rise and fall with every breath you were taking. Your moans and little gasps were echoing off of the wall in the room right into Dan’s headphones. It sounded like you were moaning there right beside him and not from the past. Dan continued sliding his hand up and down his stiff cock with a bit more vigour than before. The way your back arched as he continued licking and teasing at you. Dan knew that was one of your first orgasms of the night. He watched as you grabbed onto his hair while tilting your own head back, letting the orgasm wash over you. One evening after a particularly fun night Dan looked down at you as you cuddled into him with this light flush of pink still on your cheeks even after a while after.
“I think orgasm bliss looks good on you my dear.” Dan knew exactly what he was doing because he got the exact reaction he wanted from you covering your smile while your cheeks started to burn again. “A little bit of shy embarrassment looks good on you too. Cheeks hurt from smiling yet?” You rolled your eyes as you cuddled closer into Dan so you could hide the smile he was so excited to give you.
Dan’s mind came back from wandering when he realized that thought wasn't going to help him with the little problem he had created. 
Stroking at himself again Dan released a heavy sigh, trying to release some or really any tension that was built up. Dan ran his hand over the tip letting the precum help aid in the ease of touching himself. Dan looked down from the hard cock in his hand to the screen on his laptop. The two of you were kissing as Dan rolled a condom over himself. What he wouldn't give to have you under him like that sooner rather than later. 
Dan watched as teased your entrance with his cock. You had already been soaking wet so it really wasn't that hard to slip into you after a little bit of teasing.As Dan thrust in and out of you on screen he matched his own pace as he stroked himself with a bit more of a need of urgency to his pumping. It wasn't going to take much longer for Dan to cum to the view of you kissing along his arms that were planted on either side of your head while he continued to fuck you. 
Dan didn't care to edge this time. He had such a desperate need to release that it didn't matter if it had only been ten minutes. Stroking faster and harder Dan’s movements became sloppy as he pushed his way to the edge of bliss. The ache in his balls told him he was close and only need a few seconds more. This is usually where Dan would back off but instead, he pushed further until his orgasm took over. Dan closed his eyes letting the much-needed release be his only focus. Your voice even seemed to disappear as he shot his cum over his hand and underwear.
As Dan’s final few waves of his orgasm ran through him he let the sound of your little mews ring through his headphones for a few extra seconds. Dan quickly wiped at his cum with a tissue from beside his lamp. He knew that he was going to be jumping in the shower in a few moments anyway.
Dan closed his laptop letting it side to the other side of the bed while he let his eyes close for a moment. This was exactly what he needed. He had to remind himself that he deserved a pat on the back for asking you if you wanted to shoot a little something.
Dan was letting his heartbeat slow back down to a normal speed when he heard the familiar ding from the phone on the bedside table. That ringtone was reserved for one person on his phone only. Reaching over Dan gave a little stretch as he turned on the locked screen. There was your little message that you had sent only a minute before.
“Morning, or whatever time it is for you. What have you been up to?” Dan smirked at his phone before thinking of his reply.
“Funnily enough I was just thinking about you. How’s my girl?” 
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im-a-meteorite · 7 years
Text
Fic Recommendations
I’m bored so i’m making this list of all the fics that I’ve read (and liked). I’ll be updating this every now and then. I’ll also probs put it in my bio. I’ll be categorizing them by main ship then I’ll have the links and their summaries. I’ll also add their ratings  
Namjin 
Charmed - kaythebest  (Teens and Up) 
"So you’re not going to eat me?" Seokjin asks, just to confirm.
"Why would I eat you?"
"Because you’re a dragon," Seokjin says slowly, because it should be obvious, despite Namjoon not looking very dragon-y at all.
Namjoon looks unimpressed. "I may be a dragon, but I’m not an animal."
before things come together - brightlight  (Explicit)
Namjoon didn't expect to run into the TA from his philosophy class at the gay bar Taehyung and Jimin drag him to, he really didn't expect him to look this nice outside of class, and he really, really didn't expect to have a crush on him.
It's going to be an interesting semester.
그 손을 내밀어줘 - sugavevo  (General Audiences) 
bangtan as kids ft. namjin as parents
Let’s Not Hurt Anymore - exfatamorgana  (Mature)
They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. They aren’t keeping secrets, and if you asked them, they’d answer. It just so happens that on a Sunday, not much different from any other Sunday, the other boys think to ask.
So how do two people who are always together end up… together?
you have 1 new message - bazooka  (Teens and Up) 
r u n c h r a n d a. fuck this is going to sound like the weirdest shit okay look i used ur selcas to catfish and this older dude is gonna buy me stuff but i have to send him a selca with a peace sign
~ * ~ pingkeu jin ~ * ~ hahahahahahaha wtf
Creating a Home - CheekyBrunette (General Audiences)
Seokjin is used to getting calls from social workers at all hours of the day, but never this late at night.
(In which Hoseok loses a mom and gains two dads and four brothers.)
Spanish Doll - saengie (Mature)
What Seokjin expected of his summer holiday in the wine country of Spain had been wine, sleep, and more wine. Being the muse for the recluse painter Namjoon and arguing the finer points of post modern art as pillow talk had never crossed his mind.
Yoonjin
(cause i) i’m a fool for you - onrainydays (General Audiences) 
yoongi wakes up in the middle of the night to feed seokjin's sugar gliders
of sweet kisses and raspberries - onrainydays (Teens and Up) 
seokjin loves soft things.
yoongi isn't a thing but he's soft. really really soft.
and seokjin loves him.
give me the warmth of your love - onrainydays (General Audiences)
just a drabble of tired seokjin craving cuddles
Namseok
The Jung-Kim Family - onrainydays (General Audiences)
The kid was dressed very Namjoon and smiled very Hoseok. He looked like a perfect combination of the two in every picture, melted his parents’ hearts and made their eyes shine with the purest love.
or, namseok's child was too cute not to make him a model
Yoonmin 
An Aperture in Fine Balance - blurrylines  (Teens and Up) 
Fake Marriage AU in which Yoongi is an up and coming rapper whose fame had blown up in Korea, traveled throughout Asia and has now landed him in the States. Meanwhile, Jimin is in America to study photography and find success in this land of freedom. Except for one problem. His school's policy for financial aid requires him to be either over the age of 24, have a child, or be married.
Considering the fact that he’s only 21 and can’t have a kid, Jimin is left with the last option.
That’s where Yoongi comes in the picture.
a+++ cutie - yururin  (General Audiences) 
“Are you sure your name’s Jimin and not Jinyoung?” Yoongi asked, feeling extremely dumb, but the laugh that Jimin answered him with was worth it. Sort of.
“I’m sure, hyung,” Jimin replied softly, leaning both arms on the table as he grinned at Yoongi, “finally figured it out?”
85 Days of Summer - yururin  (Explicit)
When his friends dragged him to some secluded, intimate beach resort for their summer break, all that Yoongi expected to get were cheap souvenirs, sand between his toes, and a lot of sunburns.
He didn’t expect that a beautiful boy with honey skin, soft copper hair, and a smile so bright and happy would steal his heart instead.
you are my sunshine, my only sunshine - yururin  (Mature) 
On their second anniversary, Yoongi proposed to Jimin. On their third anniversary, Yoongi woke up to the news of Jimin's untimely death. On Jimin's first death anniversary, Yoongi met Jimin again.
The Letter Thief - d4wndust  (Teens and Up) 
Min Yoongi receives a text from an unknown number and it seems to be a suicide note. Park Jimin says his goodbyes through a text, but to a wrong number.
Min Yoongi makes Park Jimin live a little longer and Park Jimin makes Min Yoongi start living.
Truth or Dare - fratboyyoongi  (Not Rated) 
Based on a prompt I got from otpprompts on tumblr that goes like: (Imagine that Person A and Person B (who are not going out yet, but have crushes on each other) are playing Truth or Dare with their friends, who can tell about their feelings toward one another. One of their friends dares B to kiss A. B leans over and kisses A on the cheek. Very tired of B’s BS, A tells them, “Come on B, you know that’s not what they meant” and grabs their head and kisses them on the mouth.)
we pass in front of a flower shop (and i catch the scent of roses) - groovystars  (General Audiences) 
Jimin's a florist who sings to the flowers and crushes hard on the mint-haired man who just came in to buy a cactus.
The Boy in the Music Box - MissterMaia  (Teens and Up) 
Yoongi doesn’t really expect anything special when he finds an old music box in his grandmother’s attic and she tells him to keep it. Oh sure, he expects the music box to be a pretty decoration to add to the stale interior of his small apartment. He expects it to play a tune and he might even dare to expect the barely-functioning little ballerina to dance along to the soft chimes, but that's it, really.
The last thing he expects is for the little ballerina to take human form at night and throw his life out of balance with radiant smiles, soft giggles, and a heart-wrenching story.
Sunshine on a Rainy Day - MissterMaia  (General Audiences) 
It’s a fact as well-known as water being wet that Min Yoongi hates mornings. He hates the lethargicness of waking up, the temporary lack of complete motor control, the slowness of his sleep-drunk mind as it attempts to power up again after the six-hour long reboot session. Truly, mornings are the devil’s work.
But maybe Yoongi hates them a little less thanks to the cute weatherman he watches over a cup of coffee every morning.
The Songbird and the Sea - MissterMaia  (Mature) 
In a world where dominance of the sea is an endless battle between pirates and mariners, Park Jimin is content living in his little village on a small, uninteresting island by the eastern mainland. He wants nothing to do with the bloodshed of good and evil, the heartless killing of both innocents and condemned, the constant establishment and disruption of order. What he wants is peace, to live his life in the same town he was born in, to spend his days in the beautiful forest, and to use the powers of his Blessed Rune to nurture the home he loves so dearly.
But when his island is attacked by pirates, Jimin will have no other choice than to do as they command and leave all thoughts of peace behind in favor of boarding the Agust, a pirate ship captained by the infamous Min Yoongi, Black Fox of the East.
Hey, Piano Man - MissterMaia  (Explicit) 
In which Yoongi, after having his evening completely ruined by a drunk asshole on his way home from a rough day at the studio, decides he himself needs to get drunk and wanders into an old-fashioned pub. He may or may not find his bad mood washed away by the cute bartender, and he may or may not end up completely and utterly smitten when said bartender gets on the small stage and starts singing in the most angelic, beautiful, seductive voice he's ever heard in all his life.
“You play the piano?”
“I... yeah, I do, actually. How'd you know?”
The bartender's smile is shy and confident all at once, and Yoongi's heart lurches in confusion. “Just a feeling,” Jimin says softly, busying himself with drying a glass. “Your hands are beautiful. They look like they were made to play an instrument.”
Soul Bond - springrain21 (Teens and Up) 
Everyone is born with a Soulmate, but not everyone gets to meet their other half in their lifetime. Twenty one year old Park Jimin suspects he will never meet his Soulmate. When he accidentally makes skin-to-skin contact with the cold, distant Min Yoongi, he discovers that the two of them are Soulmates. But what happens when Yoongi doesn't even believe in Soulmates? Will Jimin develop the deadly condition known as Soul Sickness? And will Yoongi make it in time to save him?
Love is fulfilment of the law - Yoongi_trash (Teen and Up)
"They were a strange couple, Jimin knew it. He knew that it was wrong on so many levels. On every level. He'd read the books, knew the laws; homosexuality was a sin and it always would be. But Jimin couldn't help it, couldn't deny his feelings for Yoongi."
AKA the church AU in which Jimin is a probably an angel sent from heaven and Yoongi's nickname is the Antichrist
time follows you (and fades) - thebestofme (Teen and Up)
hp!au - how half-veela!jimin and yoongi fall in love in the Slytherin common room.
(or, two sides of one story: Jimin worries about the effects of his Allure and hides his veela nature; Yoongi loves Jiminie but is too confused by mixed signals to act on it).
you and me (are the difference between real love and the love on tv) - inkingbrushes (Teen and Up)
Yoongi is pretty sure his friends are conspiring against him.
Or: that stupid college au where they're all drunk and playing the "of course" game.
smile like silver - jflawless (Teen and Up)
Anonymous said: could you do a yoonmin fic where yoongi gets a tongue piercing ? and jimin just really likes it
when you’re in love all the lines get blurred - jflawless (Teen and Up)
Jimin isn't sure what possessed him to lie to his mother and tell her that he had a boyfriend, but now that he's opened the position, he has no choice but to fill it. Yoongi is, apparently, his only option.
It’s your Birthday but you’re my Gift - smoljean (General Audiences) 
Yoongi celebrates 5 birthdays with Jimin over the course of 20 years. (aka Yoongi growing up with Jimin only to realise he's falling for his childhood friend).
you wish i was yours (and i hope that you’re mine) -  awsuga (Mature)
Jimin is getting ready to sleep his summer away now that all his friends have left for college except for him. That is, though, until he meets Yoongi. A boy two years older than him from the city, who has been kicked out by his parents and is now living with his aunt.
Because of Yoongi Jimin learns more about himself in one summer than he has his entire life.
give me a sign - iwillalwaysbelieve (Teen and Up) 
Yoongi thinks the universe is a dick for a lot of reasons. Reason #1: It gave a deaf person a soul-mark that revolves around speech. Reason #2: Once he decided to hate his soulmate no matter what they were like, the universe gave him a really attractive soulmate. Reason #3: Said soulmate is overly kind, no matter how much of a dick Yoongi is. Reason #4: Yoongi is definitely fucked.
Midnight Dreamers - ghuns (Teens and Up)
Soulmates. They're something vague and the only clues to them lie within your dreams.
Speak to Me - noonatha  (General Audience)
Yoongi might not be able to hear what he's missing out on, but he can see it.
 give me thirty days (to fall in love with you) - kstorms  (Teens and Up)
"Hi! I’m Park Jimin!” when he gets no reaction, Jimin pushes on, a little hesitantly. “As in, your soulmate?”
or
Jimin meets his soulmate, and it doesn't go the way he's planned (nothing ever does, really).
Once Upon A Dream - yururin (Teens and Up)
“Somebody once promised they’d find you, and that they’ll love you more than they already do,” Yoongi murmurs, a smile on his lips when recognition sparks in Jimin’s eyes, “somebody once promised they’d ask you to be theirs when they can finally do so again.”
Jimin doesn’t say anything—just leans into Yoongi’s touch, that same shy smile Yoongi has grown to love still on his face.
“Be mine, Park Jimin?”
(or alternatively: "that yoonmin soulmates AU where you can see a glimpse of your past life on the eve of your 18th birthday and Jimin dreams of a forbidden Joseon era love story with an upperclassman Min Yoongi, popular basketball player in uni, 18384/10 out of his reach".)
Time Lapse - NomNams  (Explicit)
Min Yoongi is a time jumper, and Jimin is tethered to his timeline. Or he's tethered to Jimin's. Who knows. All Yoongi knows, is that no matter where he jumps to, Park Jimin will be waiting. __________
"Give me a reason not to think you're some spy working for the government who plans to..."
"You have a cow lick above your right ear. There's a scar on your right knee cap that you got when you were four falling off a pony in Daegu. You have a birthmark patch low on your left butt cheek, and another on your inner..."
"Fine. Fine. Just... please stop there." Yoongi begged, blushing five shades of red.
Bullet Boy - sugamins  (Explicit)
If you want to make it big, you’ve got to start off small. This is something that Jimin acknowledges, for he just carries on singing features for underground rappers in the hopes of breaking into the mainstream scene even when the lyrics mean nothing to him.
If you want to make it in the scene, you’ve got to fake it in the scene. This is something that Yoongi understands intimately. But he’s never been one to be a poser, and there’s only far stuntin’ can get you before you burn out like the end of a cigarette.
Yoongi finally wants to move on from his bad past and take the gamble so that he can drop his first mixtape as ‘D-boy’, and he can’t think of anyone more perfect to feature on it than rising talent: Park Jimin.
Jimin really wants to break free from nights spent singing at hip hop clubs for a pittance and finally have his name on an official track in the music charts, but he’s going to need some help navigating the brutal world of music contracts and the paparazzi; and being involved in a scandal the likes of which the industry has never seen before.
Multi-Ship (is that even a thing?)
Namjin, Yoonmin and Taekook: 
Nyctophile - yururin  (Mature) 
"Like I said, monsters aren't real, Taehyung."
Jimin quickly pulled the closet doors open.
At the bottom of the closet, sitting on the floor and leaning heavily against the walls, was a man with dark pink hair clad in dark clothes, bleeding and injured and looking positively close to death.
Jimin didn't know what to do.
Craigslist Date - springrain21 (Mature)
Main Ship: Yoonmin
Min Yoongi's family are judgmental and unsupportive of his lifestyle and his mother won't stop nagging him about how he's still single. When he finds Park Jimin on Craigslist offering to pose as someone's fake date to mess with their family, Yoongi can't help himself. What starts as a prank on Yoongi's family turns into something more when the two of them quickly develop feelings for each other. Will Yoongi, who doesn't know how to handle feelings, let his chance at love slip away, or will he go after the silver-haired boy and hold onto him forever?
Inspired by that tumblr post about the guy on Craigslist who you can hire to be your date for Thanksgiving to screw with your family because that post makes me cry laughing every time I see it.
Soulmate? No, Thanks - Bookworming (Teen and Up)
Main Ship: Yoonmin
Min Yoongi has been waiting to have his first colour dream since he was 17 because a dream in colour is the dream of your soulmate, whoever they are. In a world where all humans have only black and white dreams the only colour dreams one gets are those of their soulmate, if they have one. Soulmates get each other's dreams in colour and can speak to them through those dreams, a privilege Yoongi has coveted for a long time. Yoongi has also coveted his best friend Kim Seokjin for a long time but unfortunately for Yoongi, Seokjin's soulmate loves sleeping and occupies his mind in a way Yoongi never does. Park Jimin made the worst mistake of his life by getting drunk and driving himself home one day before his 17th birthday. When he wakes up, things have changed drastically, the biggest change being the sexy voice that interrupted his first pleasant dream in a LONG time.
Yoonminkook, Namjin and Vhope: 
Let Me Know - TheOrgasmicSeke  (Mature) 
Main Ship: Yoonminkook
Talking about it, of course, became harder as the days passed by. Yoongi could never find the right time to bring it up. He was still wondering if he was just imaging things. If he was just thinking he was feeling the things he was feeling. But that was quickly disproved every single time Jimin curled up around him and Jungkook kissed him. He was a fucking idiot in love with two bigger idiots and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. Except probably ruin it by talking about it. Hell, maybe it was better to just never mention it and pretend it wasn't happening.
Namjin, Yoonmin and Vhope:
Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? - melecs  (Teens and Up) (a series)
Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi. And Seokjin worked in the children’s department.
Namjin and Yoonmin:
When life gives you elephants… - tired angry egg (Mirabelle)
(Its a series so each part has a different summary and rating) 
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smuttyaf · 7 years
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The Seven Deadly Sins: Lust
“I have a feeling that you can’t resist me.” You state, causing Luke to snort and roll his eyes. You tilt your head to the side and slip your hands from off your thighs and sliding your fingers into Luke’s belt hoops of his denim jeans, only tugging him closer that he bumps into your chest.
“I mean you let me touch you and you came to see me when you didn’t have too, and even now, you didn’t have to come near me and you still did.” You state, your eyes flickering between Luke’s chest and his pure sapphire eyes. “That means I have some control over you… right?” You question, Luke turns his head which causes your gaze to only lock with his define jaw line as you watch him swallow.
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Words: 3.7k
Request: No
Rating: R
A/N: THERE WILL BE ANOTHER PART FOR THIS! ALSO ENAMORED WILL BE POSTED FRIDAY!
With every smack of your lips the pink bubblegum chewed up between your teeth made the most obscene sound that filled the space around you. Your eyes gazed over the few small amount of people around your age that came to this stupid function, next to you was a girl who was obviously someone who is mommy’s and daddy’s perfect little girl due to her Michael Kors flats, along with her obvious fashion steal from the pink and innocent side of Tumblr. To the right of you was a boy who had blond hair and angelic features, he could definitely be a panties dropper but because of the glasses in front of his eyes made him look like a downright nerd who keeps old copies of classic comic books.
The other three people on the opposite side of you was a boy with dyed black hair with an eyebrow piercing and pale skin who would wink at you from time to time, while the other boy looked like someone who spent their entire life inside his room while the girl looked like a regular teenage girl who bought clothes at Forever 21 and had a really good social life. Unlike you, who was known around town as the ‘reckless teen’, you always found yourself in trouble and in the principal’s office, and since you were always there or in trouble it leads you to where you are today.
Sitting in the middle of a church basement with a pastor who is preaching about some self worth shit and what would Jesus do, it had you rolling your eyes and continuously flicking your gaze towards the clock above his head. It wasn’t worth the effort though, because you only just got here five minutes ago because of your Christian aunt who sees ‘demons’ in you every single time you go to her house to find food or steal money.
So here you were sitting in a circle with the cross in the middle of it as the pastor stood in the circle walking around and talking about everything that you frankly didn’t care about.
“Would anyone like to explain to me what the seven deadly sins are?” The grey haired man asked while looking at everyone.
You hear the sound of someone clearing their throat, making you turn your gaze towards the boy with dyed black hair and piercing emerald eyes.
“Ah Michael, finally speaking,” The fifty two year old man says while turning towards him. You watch as Michael smiles while shrugging his shoulders.
“Isn’t it like sex, drugs, and stealing?” He questions while leaning deeper into his chair that squeaks in pain from the stretch.
The pastor sighs while shaking his head and turning towards the side that you’re on. “No Michael, that isn’t it.” He grunts, his eyes flickering between the three of us before you feel the boy next to raise his hand and clear his throat.
“I know what it is,” He says, voice deep that it causes you to flick your eyes towards him. You thought he would have a high pitched voice that would crack constantly but instead you are welcomed with a voice just dripping in sex.
Your eyes flick amongst every feature detailed in his defined face; his nose was dangerously straight, hair falling over his forehead until it curled by his eyebrows loosely, lips thin but plump and a light shade of pink, while his jaw line stood out prominently against his skin that made you run your tongue over your bottom lip and straighten your back more to admire his beautiful physique.
“Aren’t the seven deadly sins; gluttony, greed, laziness, wrath, envy, pride, and lust.” The angelic boy says while bringing his thin eyebrows together which causes his skin to fold on his forehead.
“And you are correct Luke!” The pastor exclaims while tossing his hands in the air. You roll your eyes at his excitement and then lean over to the angelic boy named Luke.
“You go to church often?” You question, your tongue pushing the gum to the front of your teeth and beginning to blow a bubble. A smirk tugs on the ends of your lips when you see Luke’s gaze come across the pink bubble before turning to your eyes.
“U-Uh yeah, every Sunday with my parents,” Luke stutters out while his eyes watch you suck the pink candy back into your mouth and smirk at him.
“So you get everything that this guy is saying,” You say, eyes staring at Luke intensely as you bite into your fleshly bottom lip.
“Yeah I understand what this guy is saying,” Luke chuckles while gesturing over to the pastor; you let a small laugh leave your lips as your eyes gaze towards the man in a black suit.
You shrug your shoulders while turning your attention back to Luke, your hand slips off your thigh and on to his muscular sturdy one. The feeling of his rough denim jeans runs through the pads of your fingertips as you run your hand up and down his thigh until you gaze your index finger amongst his growing erection. A devious smile spreads on your lips as you look up at Luke while tilting your head to the side.
“Are you a virgin Luke?” You ask, voice quiet while you lean into his personal space and running your tongue along his jaw line.
You’re actually surprise no one has noticed the explicit actions that you’re doing right now, but you really don’t care if you get caught because having Luke all hot and bothered is what you really want right now.
A shaky breath leaves Luke’s lips, his eyebrows that were once bunched together only come closer as you watch his nose flare and his cobalt eyes flicker amongst everything in the room.
“Why do you want to know?” He asks, eyes turning away from the cross on the floor and into your eyes. You press kisses against his jaw line before pulling back and sending him a teasing smile.
“Don’t worry, just tell me,” You say, teeth gazing amongst your bottom lip and tugging the flesh in your mouth. His stone cold glare watching every small move that you do, whether it was a facial expression or just you shifting around in your seat.
He blinks a few times before nodding his head, a smile spreads on your lips until you tug your free hand that was at your side and place it on his chin. Both of your eyes lock together as you stare at him, your index finger still swirling around his erect member as you tilt your head straight and smile at Luke.
“Hmm, aren’t you suppose to wait until you’re married to have sex,” You ask, eyes watching as Luke bats his eyes close for a moment before nodding.
“And isn’t lust one of the deadly sins,” You say; only making Luke nod his head again.
“So isn’t what you’re doing bad,” You state while pouting and staring at Luke with puppy dog eyes.
“Yeah, yeah it is,” Luke says his eyes bulging as your words knock some sense into him. He pulls back from your hold and slaps your hand off of his lap; you snicker before turning back into your chair also.
“When it’s break meet in the bathroom.” You state, eyes flickering between Luke’s bouncing feet in his laced up Converse, to the pastors white hair.
A huge smiled spread on your lips when you heard the bathroom door slam close, your eyes flicked up from staring at the clean beige counter top to look straight ahead and lock eyes with blue eyes and blond hair.
“You came?” You mutter, hands pushing you at the edge of the counter as you stare deeply into the hesitant eyes that shine with innocence.
“You told me to be here,” He says, voice small and quiet that you almost have to repeat what he says. Your smile turns into a devious one before you’re reaching your hands out and beckoning him to come closer to you. “No, no, I’m fine here.” He utters, eyes flickering from the ground to you.
Your smile flatters and slumps into a frown, your bottom lip jutting out as you slam your hands onto your thighs and let a moan escape you.
“Please Luke, pretty please,” You say, batting your eyelashes dramatically as you begin to pad your fingertips against your flesh. Luke lets out a heavy sigh before taking steps towards you; his body now in between your legs, your pouty lips now turns up into a smile like before.
“I have a feeling that you can’t resist me.” You state, causing Luke to snort and roll his eyes. You tilt your head to the side and slip your hands from off your thighs and sliding your fingers into Luke’s belt hoops of his denim jeans, only tugging him closer that he bumps into your chest.
“I mean you let me touch you and you came to see me when you didn’t have too, and even now, you didn’t have to come near me and you still did.” You state, your eyes flickering between Luke’s chest and his pure sapphire eyes. “That means I have some control over you… right?” You question, Luke turns his head which causes your gaze to only lock with his define jaw line as you watch him swallow.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to admit it,” You giggle, fingers tugging away from the belt loops and running up his chest.
Your tongue escapes your mouth as you run it over your bottom lip, eyes scanning down the expanse of Luke’s neck as you lean forward and press your lips against the heated skin. A shaky breath immediately escapes the blond boy and you smile against his skin before launching your lips onto his neck and sucking the pale skin into your mouth while swirling your tongue against the skin.
The feeling of Luke’s enormous hands spreads amongst your hips, surprising you because you never thought he would become this forward since he looked like he didn’t like the fact that you were proving him wrong with his attraction towards you.
They spread amongst your hips before digging into the flesh there, his warm hands digging into your skin has you breaking your lips away from his now red skin and letting a moan trail from out of your mouth. Your now wondering hands still and slips down to run against Luke’s prominent erection in his jeans, it actually surprises you on how hard Luke is already and all you did was suck his neck.
A whimper escapes his pink lips as his head now turns to look down at you, fingers still digging into the flesh as he leans his forehead against yours, eyes looking into yours deeply that you feel like he can tell every embarrassing and intimate moment in your life.
It seems as if Luke was challenging you in a stare off, due to the way his eyes would barley even shut and his lips just set in a stern line. If it was a challenge you knew you would win because your hands where palming his erection in your hand. As Luke stares at you daringly you just smirk at him before running your index finger against the slit of his cock, that immediately makes Luke let a hiss escape his mouth and his eyes flutter shut at the sensation.
“Have you ever touched yourself before?” You question and Luke’s eyes are still slammed shut but he shakes his head. Lips tugged into his mouth and cheeks tinted with a fiery red as you continue to run your finger against the slit of his cock.  
“You haven’t?” You say with astonishment, Luke doesn’t do anything but shove his head into your neck and let a moan escape his mouth.
“Why haven’t you,” You mumble, your free hand that isn’t shoved into Luke’s jeans run up the expanse of his body, gripping onto the heated skin covered in cotton.
“’Cause I’m saving myself,” He states, voice breathy and quick as if he’s trying to catch his breath. Your eyebrows come together before a smile spreads on your lips.
“Saving yourself for what, the church?” You chuckle, your finger slipping away from Luke’s cock to trace the crown. Only making him whimper, your ears loving the sound so much that your heart pounds against your chest rapidly.
“I’m saving myself for… for,” Luke utters before he immediately stops what he’s doing. His breath flushes down your neck as he brushes away from your embrace, causing your hand to slide out of his pants and rest against your knee.
His eyes burning holes into you, cheeks red like fire, lips dripping in saliva, breath coming out rushed, chest heaving up and down, and body now tense looking like he’s in stress.
“What the fuck?” He exclaims, eyes roaming up and down your body as you just laugh.
“Why are you so angry?” You question, that just makes Luke groan.
“B-Because I’m not supposed to do this with you, I’m supposed to stay pure,” Luke rushes while his hands push into his hair. You just snort and roll your eyes.
“Oh my god I have to stay pure,” You say in a high pitched voice while tossing your arms by your side and shaking your fingers before dropping them onto your lap.
“I have to stay pure... because when I get married…” Luke sighs before a groan escapes him. You just smirk and slide off the rest of the counter, your body now face-to-face with his.
“You’re getting married any time soon?” You question, your left eyebrow rising up.
You watch as Luke eyes gaze towards the ground instead of staring at you intensely as they were before, he clears his throat and drops his head to the ground, his feet pad against the floor hurriedly as you just watch.
“Holy shit! Really?” You say before breaking out in laughter. “Why would you want to get married now?” You ask, giggles still fluttering out of your mouth as your stare at Luke in shock.
He just shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders. “It’s not my choice; my parents made me do it.” He sighs out and that immediately makes you stop laughing. Your mouth now hanging open, as you stare at the now flustered and embarrassed boy in front of you.
“Why would you let them do that? It’s your life you know.” You state, hands now slipping onto your hips as you stare deeply at Luke. The one thing you hated most in this world is when people told you what to do with your life when it doesn’t concern them in any way, shape, or form.
“Arrange marriage has been running in my family for years, they’re not going to stop now, even if I reject it.” Luke utters and you frown at that before taking a step towards him. Luke immediately takes a step back.
“Hey now,” You say, hands tugging away from your waist and slipping around Luke’s sides, you’re surprise once again how he allows you to touch him. “You’re probably angry, nervous, and fed up with all of that right?” You ask, and you watch as Luke slightly nods his head, his eyes still not locking with yours, especially when you snake one of your hands down his abdomen.
“So why don’t you let me relieve all this built up tension, huh?” You say, your hand now stroking Luke’s cock again.
“No... I shouldn’t,” Luke whimpers, his hand tugging away from his side and resting against your stroking hand lightly.
“Come on Luke, I can help you relax, you need that don’t you?” You breathe against his neck, and you watch as Luke nods his head before shaking it.
“I-I can’t,” He says but his hand slips away from your hand and back to his side, his head lolling back as you continue to stroke him in the palm of your hand.
“Nobody will know Luke, just let me help you forget about everything for a while.” You say, your body bending down slowly as you bend to your knees, your hand still stroking him.
“Y-Yeah, yeah, help me forget…” Luke says before you’re smiling and leaning into his clothed cock, your lips pressing against his denim jeans before tearing your hand away from his cock and undoing his jeans.
You swiftly push his fitted boxers down and grasp his member into your hand, your eyes running over the heavy member in your hand as you watch every vein pulse and beat against your skin. You snake your tongue out of your lip and flick it against the slit that bubbles with pre- cum, licking up the salty fluid until you wrap your lips around his head, a whimper escaping his lips, and you pull away and smile.
You tap his rigid member against your lips that squeeze together before pulling it away and running your tongue along the underside of his cock. Your tongue runs against the prominent veins that protrude out of his erection, feeling every beat and thump of the vein that you hum in excitement.
As your tongue runs against the expanse of Luke’s length when you reach the head of his cock you just flick the slit with your tongue, only causing Luke to let a shaky breath slip out of him. You smile up at him as you just watch his Adam’s apple bob in the air before you’re taking him into your mouth.
Your tongue swirls around the stretch of his cock until taking him down your throat, a throaty groan immediately escaping him as you take him deeper and deeper.  Your tongue now laying flat against your mouth as your lips curl and sink around Luke’s cock until your nose is brushing against his pelvic bone.
Tears welcome themselves in the hallow of your eyes as you pull away from Luke’s cock before sinking back down and bobbing your head, your free hand pulling away from your side and placing itself onto Luke’s cock and tugging at the amount of him that you’re not able to take down your throat.
Both of Luke’s hand tear away from his sides and tangle in your hair, it wasn’t as if Luke was guiding your head along his cock, he just had his hand buried in your hair as he moaned into the heated atmosphere.
A hum slipped out of your lips as you continued to suck Luke into your mouth, your tongue would curve against the underside of it every time you took him deeper into your mouth. Every single time your tongue would glide against the underside of Luke’s cock you could feel everything, only making you moan with happiness at the fact that you got this beautiful boy before you so bothered.
You let your throat relax and let his thumping member settle in your hand, your tongue passed through your lips and flicked at the crown of his cock, just below his slit. Your other hand that was occupied around the blond boy’s waist, wrapped around his twin globes and massaged them in the palm of your hand, which caused a whimper to slip out the pretty boy’s mouth.
“Fuck I’m gonna come,” Luke mumbles, his eyes coming together tightly as his fingers stop moving racking through your hair but instead grip it tightly.
A gasp escapes your lips as you feel arousal wash over your whole entire body when he tugs harder on your hair.
With that you wrap your lips around his while entire head and moan when he tugs on the strands of your hair again. A deep groan escapes Luke’s lips before you feel his warm salty seed spill into your mouth. You pull away and swallow his load, the saltiness staining your tongue when you feel it slide down your throat slowly.
A smile slips on your lips as you stand up and come face-to-face with Luke and his sweaty face.
“Have fun?” You question before giggling, and that makes a small smile spread on Luke’s face before he is nodding his head.
“Good.” You state before you’re turning around and walking over to the sink and beginning to wash your hands. You hear Luke tug up his pants and make himself look proper as you begin to dry off your hands and turn towards him.
“Done?” You question and Luke nods his head.
You pull open the bathroom door and carefully slip out of the washroom, Luke following behind you closely, but before you even get seen by anyone, you turn towards Luke and get on your toes, your lips brushing against his ears.
“I hope you know I’m not done having fun with you.” You state, pulling away and seeing a deep shade of pink roam amongst his cheeks. His pupils blown as you just giggle and walk away.
You weren’t surprise when you heard his heavy footsteps behind you, but you were surprise when you heard the pastor’s voice.
“Luke what are you doing?”
“Oh nothing sir, just going to chat with some people,”
“That’s nice of you, but stay away from her.”
“Why is that?”
“She’s a trouble maker and you’re too good to get involve with someone like her.”
Oh, but little did he know.
So, did you like it? feedback would be greatly appreciated along with any questions or concerns.
Sorry for any spelling mistakes! 
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The Ultimate Guide To Sites For Sale In Dublin
Referral Reputation usually means that you've ceased the mill of trying to houses. You get inactive, but in the event you position somebody who is looking to purchase or sell a house to your realestate business, you get yourself a proportion of their commission. Say goodbye to fun and leisuretime. Here's your own week: • Friday. Mailings, client hunting, sitting round. CHAPTER 6: THE Customers CHAPTER 5: THE "OLD-TIMERS" This company that "hired" you will now send one to an exercise "college" (all these are companies who, for a price, educate you on exactly concerning the real estate industry and help you pass the condition required evaluation). Here is just two months of courses that have related to the career. At various occasions during the week, then you're going to receive a 2 hour stints replying your phone. The idea is that clients will telephone in looking for an agent only because they've a house they need to get. I'd suppose that this has happened when, ever, in the history of real estate. A lot calls into the oldtimers. You didn't think anything was free, did you really? Here's the rundown about fees: If you're lucky enough to get you to definitely express they will use one to market their own house, you need to know that their house is worth much more than the one three doors down that is exactly the same. Exactly why? I don't know. Maybe they're delusional. Maybe they're stupid. They're covetous. Maybe they're upside-down in your house. Probably they simply want the cash. It is probably each of the aforementioned. • Thursday. No Thing is required. This really is your weekend, love. Tend not to spend money, however, you don't have it. I am sure it really is totally different in YOUR area though, plus they truly are telling you the truth when they state so... While I state "oldtimers", I'm referring for the agents that happen to be at office for at least a yr. Due to the fact they count on one to actually be gone in a few months they are going to make eye contact at 1st and so they don't really wish to waste their period. Once you've been around for 2 weeks, they'll begin providing you with that the "chance" to sit in their own receptive houses to allow these. What they're actually asking you to do is sit in a house for three hours that no 1 will visit, and basically sell it on the off chance that you can secure a client. • Business cards. They truly are free! Well, kind of. The basic, crappy variants are liberated, those that shout "I am brand new for this!" You've got to pay for to get types that are fine, using a picture, and also you have to pay for the movie. You're going to likely be requested to alienate everyone you know and also make situations by begging for referrals. Events, church, college, the gym - anyplace...that you require to be angling for house customers or house vendors. It is painfully awkward for all concerned. Don't neglect to wear just the page1=46 pin that is little you move! Their perfect agent is somebody who's divorced and miserable, sitting down over a pile of alimony dollars or a available field of charge, and merely needs something to keep them occupied. Then is merely, and somebody who is wed, sitting on a heap of dollars or an open line of credit needs something to keep them out of the house and away from their spouse. If you're not 1 of these two, that's OK - they'll take you. It really is odd to be involved a substantial financial project for someone you know. They will use you to buy or sell a house, but no one wants you to know their financial business, therefore it's challenging. Your family and friends may want small favors, like...they will want all of their cash. Yes, seriously. I had a comparative ask if I would give back them my entire commission should they used me to buy a house. I dropped, and the request was probably the nail that secured my property coffin shut. • Saturday. Mandatory training...all freaking day. Done-with the mandatory 15-week instruction? Start out training that repeats that which they taught you! CHAPTER 7: Your Lifetime AS a Realtor • Associations. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/estate agent The County Realtor Association. You have to join it. It charges income...each calendar year. Their State Realtor Affiliation. It's mandatory that you combine it. It charges dollars...each yr. The Nationwide Realtor Association. It's mandatory that you join it. It costs income...every yr. Combine this specific organization. Join this organization. You will receive even, and possibly yourself a journal a trap. It truly is all mandatory, plus it all costs money. They have complimentary cookies at the meetings. • Tuesday. In-house instruction, or "how to squander 3 solid hours of prime job period." I am 1 man. Even the Realtor's affiliation is a conglomerate which without doubt has lawyers on the payroll. My brother in law is legal counsel...but that I still feel out numbered. That means you're going to see that I simply refer to real estate agents, not Realtors. • Monday. Mandatory meetings and house excursions, all day. The meeting is useless, which is the reason you find old-timers that they slough off following the house and wind up God-knows-where. They truly are likely in the bar. The tour is fun, though. You have to know everyone else complain of everything that they work with and what from the houses. You have to wander through a stranger's house and listen to that your co workers (proudly showing their name badges) criticize the homeowner's choices in everything. Examples: Exactly what exactly were believing for this particular carpeting? Have they ever cleaned the particular room? Wow, those are some nasty children in this film. I can't believe they abandon Paxil AND Prozac . Real estate offices are constantly list places that are open, so it's simple to obtain an job interview. Don't be overly nervous, because do you know what? You are hired. This isn't an interview, it's a pep talk. You inhale at the lobby and could walk in, you're probably nonetheless hired. • real estate agent prices make one of the "real estate agent" snaredown. This is. CHAPTER 3: LICENSING CHAPTER 4: FEES, Service Fees and Expenses There are rules that say that even though your licensing training is occurring at a Real Estate office, which no 1 with that office may "amuse" you. Expect you'll get recruited. Some of the teachers was a Company X manager and took a exceptional interest. He required me to start open houses at homes throughout the weeks of training, introduced me to everybody else at any office, required me and took me out. The entire time, he talked about how Company Y (who had delivered me into this practice) was dreadful, and why Business X has been way outstanding, and certainly the location for me. Moral? No. Fun? Indeed. I still went because it had been the proper matter together with the company that sent me. This usually means that should you have a individual that wants to sell their house for $330,000 however, you and everyone know that it won't bring £250,000, you inform them which you will list it for his or her price tag, and after that gradually enable the purchase price drop when people giggle at the house. CHAPTER 2: THE INTERVIEW Keep in mind, however, that you have two choices here: you can either become a Realtor or you can become a Realtor. It's true, you read that correct. I'll create no judgments regarding this organization's worth, except to say that sitting through the most boring training ever nets you a tiny R pin. Absolutely nothing says I'm a victory much better than the snare with an ep on it...right next to a name tag. Ethics principle #1 is "only acquire the list." • Automobile. They'll pay for your car! No, they wont. If you should be one of the very best 2 producers, and are willing to place a godawful giant decal over either side and back of your (correctly colored) car or truck, they will pay a nominal amount to you. Why shouldn't they? It's the cheapest ads they can buy. CHAPTER 10: AFTERTHOUGHTS • Cardkey. You need this to put involved with any house that's up for sale. It's true, you have to pay for this. Plus it can't be shipped by them; you require to drive 30 miles to pick it up. • Tip 3: Everyone you realize will feign support when questioning the decision and making fun of you. I am significant, also you also know that. You've loathed with, did you not? • Office Assist. They despise you. I met with Travisthat he was at the midst of the hissy-fit because someone had stolen his Cross pen. It really is clear, as it is not like that they all sell them. Yes, they can offer them . The fit lasted an hour, also comprised that our manager delivering a phone message to each and every broker in any office to please return the pencil should they had it. Travis also maintained a much-needed watch on the labels that one would use to send out these mailings. To receive them, you had to ask the specific amount. You will find 25 on a sheet and if you're printing 6-8 labels, then you wouldn't purchase 3 sheets. And keep in mind, exclamation points are used by prime manufacturers! A Lot of them! In whatever they perform! Only an FYI. I suggest a FYI!!!! • Licensing. In the event you speak with a true estate firm you take the course and become licensed earlier, they will pay for the course. Very well, sort of. They'll cover it, and spend the fee back. Wait patiently, who paid for this? It's true, you did. You did not think that was free, did you? You are hated by them. • Computers. Do not understand a personal computer? Don't stress, no 1 else does. Idon't know why, however with was dreadful with any instrument. They needed help with all the laptop, and also the PC's were always down with a virus of some sort. • Sunday. Nomore football games, family picnics, etc., because you require to sit down in Open Houses. That really is just my story. Don't let it change your mind if you want to enter the world of residential property real estate. I had a property agent tell me what a horrible idea that it was and that I still went together with my plan. • Mailings. I lucked out with firm Y, and they all pay for mailings. This means that they supply the marketing stuff and they pay the stamp for some amount to be sent out. A Rottweiler protected speeches you might send email to's database at our office, a man I'll contact Travis. Travis was tremendously tan with slicked-back own hair, also he was dressed as a 1970's JC Penny mannequin daily. That I bet that his boyfriend had been, although if he had been homosexual, I don't understand. When there aren't enough beginners at your office, they'll fight over your house-sitting initiatives, and might even supply you with cash (don't get excited, so I'm speaking about $20.) Get paid '' I never really did receive covered helping someone out. • Hint 1): there was a whole lot of cash. It's simply not going to be check here made by you personally. In fact, a lot of it's actually going to come FROM you. The actual estate organizations themselves make an enormous sum of profit a part by screaming persons through their "programs" and spitting them out with emptier pockets. CHAPTER 9: "ETHICS" (note quotation marks)
•The Multi-List Technique. You cannot be considered a real real estate representative without even access into the MLS. It has to be liberated? No. CHAPTER 8: "Help" (note quotation marks) • Tip two: There is no wages. Make sure you have money in the bank to eat and pay your bills for six months. And start looking for a job that is real . By the time you buy it, then you'll be out of cash. I landed a spot at a company 6 months and 1 day out of the day of my own lay off. When it was not for Un Employment, I would have been living in a cardboard box waiting to my property profession to blossom. You are hated by them. • Your site. The business has put a page up to you on their website, you require to fill it with futile ideas that no 1 cares about, like "resident of (our overall place) for umpteen decades" along with Realtor and also "person in (Our County) realestate Club. Not one of this helps you or thempersonally, however, it will not fill the page, even although no one will appear at it. It is possible to set up a picture . Whatever you have to do is pick up the telephone, notify the company telephone number and their name and at which they're seeking. What exactly is? NOW it's money back. I understand those who left about referrals than that I did as a real estate agent, many times above. Needless to say, there's a charge but you didn't think that was free, did you? And to stay in "referral status" that you need to simply take ongoing education. • Evidence. Small indicators signs, plastic signs, metal signs, name signs, for sale signs, open house signs. You have to have them, you have to cover these, and they cost hundreds of dollars. • Title tag. Good news is totally free. The terrible thing, it's necessary for you to use a name tag. Straight back when I had a real project, I knew a gentleman who consistently said "In case a man must wear a name tag throughout his job, he is not too successful." I'd a lovely Ford Mustang GT once I got this "job". I purchased it because I had been told which you need to simply take all your clients over the area to see houses. Out using the sport car or truck, in addition to the Volvo station wagon (at the horrid company coloration, of course.) As it turns out, no one wants to ride with their real estate agent; they want to follow you around within their car. This will be for many reasons: they really could escape you when they need, so that they may discuss the houses without you hearing them (even if you're their reputable adviser)...oh, plus they despise you. I overlook that Mustang. • Wednesday. "Twilight" spacious houses. This implies that the night is taken. Just how does one make matters better? You get the condition included! CHAPTER 1): SOME Swift Rookie 'S Recommendations • no cost excursions! 5 decades from today, in case you overcome work hours, ALL your odds and sell everything that you buy close, you may secure yourself a free journey. Do not hold your own breath.
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vileart · 7 years
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The Delights of Dramaturgy: Rosalind Blessed @ Edfringe 2017
Rosalind Blessed 
presents: 
The Delights of Dogs and the Problems of People
Space Triplex Studios I 4 – 26 August
The Delights of Dogs and the Problems of People is a harrowing and darkly funny exploration of the path to domestic abuse, exposing the delicacy of relationship dynamics and blame. Drawing from personal experience, it is written by and starring Rosalind Blessed in her first full length play. Directed by Caroline Devlin. 
The play sharply observes the torture of human-to-human love and the unconditional nature of dog-to-human love and loyalty. Taking both visceral and comedic approaches to storytelling, the play tackles the real inner workings of a rotting relationship, the obsessiveness of love and the horror it can inflict on two people who think they just want to be together. 
1. The inspiration for this performance was to share some of my personal experiences from unhealthy and abusive relationships, to act as a warning. I wanted to say that it is very easy to find yourself in a dangerous situation – that you are not stupid and that you are not alone. I didn’t want to portray victim and villain but vulnerable and faulted humans. 
I also wanted to advocate for rescue dogs, particularly the Staffordshire Bull Terrier, who are very often treated cruelly by humans and demonised in the press. The cages of my local rescue centre are filled with Staffs. The empathy I have received from them over the years has helped me through my darkest human times. I am not overstating to say the love of my dogs has been a literal life saver.
2. I hadn’t realised quite how much dialogue would be opened up by this piece until it’s run at The Courtyard Theatre. After each performance people would feel empowered to tell me their life experiences afterwards. The problems are so much more widespread than I had realised. 
I suppose we tend to keep these experiences of abuse to ourselves as there is such a feeling of residual shame. The beauty of the level of immersion in watching an intimate play like this is that it unlocked that isolation. Watching an honest piece clearly made the audience feel less alone and able to talk. 
Some found it so close to home that they found it difficult to sit through, which made me sad but afterwards the general feeling was that if punches had been pulled that it would be doing all of us who had experienced these things a disservice. 
It also proved useful for a lovely woman in the legal system who works with abusers. There is some possibility of taking the show to prisons – the idea being if abusers could see their actions at a remove that they might be able to get past their denial.
3. To be honest the approach to the creation of the play was a great deal of trial and error. It was developed over a few years working with several very talented actors. 
It started as an idea for a 5 minute short play about a woman eulogising next to a small grave – the assumption being she is talking about her child, then it is revealed she is talking about her dog. This then became extended into a one act play about the sadness of a relationship ending which finally grew to the darker full length piece it is now. 
I had several small runs in London which I directed myself and I learned a huge amount from my actors and audience about what was reaching out. 
When the play reached it’s final form I stepped down as director and played the female part myself as the subject matter was so incredibly close to me. I was always fluid to suggestions from my casts to change and improve as we worked. I’m sure that will happen again over this rehearsal period….it’s never finished!
4. All my productions use humour to deal with pretty grim subject matter. I think you have a better chance of reaching a person if you allow them to have a giggle at the mistakes that we make. I certainly tend to switch off a bit if things are too earnest so I attempt to maintain an irreverent tone in all. 
There is quite a bit of direct audience connection / participation in my work. In the past the audience have been fed and even given vodka jelly shots! In this slightly more serious piece the audience are still directly addressed and one of the actors actually becomes the dog so you can pet him! 
This inclusion hopefully makes the audience at times feel like friend and confidant and sometimes guilty voyeur.
5. I hope the audience will experience laughter, sadness, horror and anger but ultimately leave uplifted. I hope they will feel a sense of camaraderie with both the actors and fellow audience members as they go on this challenging journey.
6. I think honesty is the best policy. I think if you are as honest as you can be with your production the more likely the audience will trust you with their response. I also hope that the humour and quirky structure and approach will keep everyone engaged as we ask them to look at some pretty challenging stuff.  
The stark honesty of Blessed’s writing creates material that is both funny and discomforting, as the play flits between the present and the past. In this two-hander, one of the actors doubles as the dog, juxtaposing the human-to-human and human-to-dog relationships and ultimately highlighting the sinister potential of human behaviour.  
"I have experienced several abusive relationships and found it difficult to forgive myself for allowing that to happen. Exploring the two characters in this story enabled me to better understand how easy it is for things to go badly wrong for both parties - to slip into abuser and abused without even realising it. It is a widespread problem and I wanted people to know that they are not weak or stupid or wrong or evil. And most of all that they are not alone.”
Rosalind Blessed.
 “The play of the year for me was The Delights of Dogs and the Problems of People – funny, moving, insightful, and ridiculously well acted. In an orderly world it would run for a 100 years. Rosalind Blessed and Duncan Wilkins will break your heart whilst making you think, which is the hallmark of a great drama. Definitely the play to see at this year’s festival fringe.”
Andrew O’Hagan, New York Times
Space Triples Studios
19 Hill Place EH8 9DP
Box office 0131 510 2395
Previews Aug 4-5 £6
August 7-12 4pm; 14-19 12.30pm; 21-26 4pm
All other shows £10/£8
75 minutes
Rosalind Blessed
Blessed trained at the Central School of Speech and Drama. Roles include, Henrietta in The Hollow (Mill at Sonning), Gonoril in King Lear (Guildford Shakespeare) with her father in the title role, Emilia in Othello, Wife of Bath in Canterbury Tales, (Southwark Playhouse) Tamora in Titus Andronicus (Arcola) Molly Brown in Iceburg Right Ahead (The Gatehouse), Sylvia Plath in Letters Home (New End Theatre) 
As a writer Rosalind has written with many sketch shows but most notably many years of Fat Hammond’s Bango Lounge, which went to the fringe twice. She co-wrote Wedded Bliss and Wedded Bliss – Through Therapy (Lion and Unicorn). She wrote two one act plays Smothy and Lottie (The Etcetera Theatre). The Delights of Dogs and The Problems of People is her first full length play. She is working on the next, a play examining mental health issues called Just Sick.
Duncan Wilkins
Duncan trained at The Royal Central School of Speech and Drama and the Moscow Arts Theatre. Theatre credits include: Romeo & Juliet (MokitaGrit, The Chocolate Factory), The Return of the Exile (The Yard Theatre; Athinais Theatre, Athens), La Dispute (Owl Farm Theatre, Edinburgh), A Life in Theatre (Hiraeth Productions, Upstairs at the Gatehouse), The Government Inspector (Gravel, The Tabard Theatre), A Dreamland Sideshow Christmas (Tom Thumb Theatre), SUN (National Art Service, St Leonard's Church, Shoreditch).
Caroline Devlin, Director
Trained: Drama Centre London, has been a professional actress for 21 years and latterly a Director also. For The Guildford Shakespeare Company: A Winters Tale, (2016) King Lear (2015), Othello (2014), Macbeth (2013), The Merry Wives of Windsor (The Public Reviews pick of 2012) and Richard III in (2012), Hamlet in (2011). For Creation Theatre Company, Oxford: Jekyll and Hyde (2012), Kean Productions: In Extremis (2012) and R-3 with her own company, Centre Five Productions, (Off West End Award nomination for Best Director). Caroline is excited to be returning to Edinburgh, her last production being Eunuchs in my Wardrobe written by and starring Silas Carson in 2011. Caroline is currently writing her third play, which will be produced by the Guildford Shakespeare Company in Autumn 2017.
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