#chris tyson my beloved

[wrestlingisfake]

Double or Nothing preview

Been a while, hasn’t it?

Jon Moxley vs. Brodie Lee - This will be Moxley’s second defense of the AEW men’s world championship since winning the title on February 29.  Impressively, Mox is already the longest-reigning champion in AEW history, holding the title for an incredible 823 days over the past three months.

The story is fairly basic: on May 6 Lee sent his stable, the Dark Order, to dogpile Moxley before he demanded this match and walked off with the title belt.  Lee has lots of backup, but Mox is too stubborn to back down.

Brodie Lee was formerly known as Luke Harper in WWE, where he was usually a member of Bray Wyatt’s cult, the Wyatt Family.  After a 2018 biceps injury, he was used very sparingly, and requested his release in April 2019.  WWE used him even more sparingly, but finally let him go in December.  In January the Dark Order began teasing an unseen leader known as “the Exalted One,” who was finally revealed to be Lee once his WWE no-compete clause expired in March.

Lee played a cult member for almost all of his WWE run, but it seems like his  strongest impression of how cult leaders act was not Bray Wyatt but WWE chairman Vince McMahon.  Everyone at AEW seems to deny a direct parody--and for all I know it really isn’t intentional--but it’s not subtle how his on-screen behavior resembles accounts of Vince’s off-screen idiosyncrasies.  Which adds an extra wrinkle to the story, given Moxley’s very public, very blistering criticism of McMahon when he left WWE last year.

AEW has claimed this show’s card is mostly what was planned before the pandemic forced them to move from Las Vegas to a closed set in Jacksonville.  Even so, I feel like this would have been a very week title match on any of AEW’s previous pay-per-views, and it’s hard to believe they were really going to headline with this in the MGM Grand.  My gut says that under normal circumstances this match would be given away on free TV.  But these aren’t normal circumstances, so I guess you might as well do this now and save a bigger match for when fans are back.

I think there is zero chance of Lee actually winning the title, so the only question is how much Moxley will have to do to retain.

Chris Jericho & Jake Hager & Sammy Guevara & Ortiz & Santana vs. Kenny Omega & Hangman Page & Matt Hardy & Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson - This is being billed as a “stadium stampede” match.  A ring will be set up in the middle of TIAA Bank Field, the home stadium of the Jacksonville Jaguars.  I’m guessing the match will start in the ring, but the rules allow the wrestlers to fight anywhere in the stadium, so I’m not sure why it matters.  The match cannot end by count-out or disqualification, and falls count anywhere.

This feud started in October when Jericho recruited Hager, Guevara, Ortiz, and Santana to form The Inner Circle, to help him oppose The Elite (Omega, the Young Bucks, Page, and Cody Rhodes).  The two teams were set for a ten-man “war games” style cage match on March 25, but to give Nick Jackson paternity leave he was “injured” and Matt Hardy was announced as his replacement.  The match was scrapped altogether in light of the coronavirus pandemic.  On May 13, Jericho proposed issued a challenge to the Elite for this match.  Since Cody is already booked on the card, Hardy is subbing for him this time instead of Nick.

Most of the people in this match have wrestled very sparingly since AEW started running closed-set shows on March 18, although the Inner Circle has been back at full strength since May 6.  Part of the intrigue is that Page and the Bucks were off AEW television in over two months, so Jericho is suggesting that the Elite barely exists anymore.  Ring rust will almost surely be a factor, as Matt Jackson hurt his ribs doing a spot in his big return on May 20.  So even though this match features some of the best talent in the world, I could easily see it getting “bowling shoe ugly” very quickly.

It’s almost lost in the shuffle that this is Hardy’s first real big match since jumping from WWE to AEW and reviving his “Broken Matt Hardy” gimmick from Impact Wrestling.  Hardy was originally in this to support his friends, but it became personal when Jericho “killed” his beloved quadcopter drone, Vanguard 1.  It’s pretty clear AEW wants to build to a high-profile Hardy-Jericho match, but the coronavirus situation has probably screwed up their idea of when that can happen.

I’d like to see the Elite finally settle the score with the Inner Circle, but I can’t help but think this feud must continue, and putting the heels over is the easiest way to do that.  However, I suppose the babyfaces could pin someone other than Jericho or Hager without really resolving the feud.

Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Archer - This is a tournament final to determine the first person to hold the new AEW TNT championship.  Cody defeated Shawn Spears and Darby Allin to advance to this match.  Archer defeated Colt Cabana and Dustin Rhodes.  Mike Tyson will present the title belt to the winner for some reason.

TNT is the name of the channel that airs Dynamite in the US, so this is basically a modern take on the old television titles.  In the days before pay-per-view specials, wrestling TV shows were designed to build to big matches at untelevised events, with the idea that you had to pay for a ticket to see the real big shows.  In that business model, televised title bouts were somewhat rare, so a television championship would stand out for being regularly defended on TV.  There’s a lot of nostalgia for the concept, but nobody’s really come up with a good way to make it work in the modern era.  (Hell, I barely understood the point of the WCW TV title 30 years ago.)  I know AEW management feels strongly about avoiding the stigma of a “midcard title,” so I’m curious to see what they come up with here.

Archer has been built up very well as the biggest and most monstrous of the big monster heels.  He really needs to win his first big PPV match in the company to maintain his momentum.  But at the same time, Archer’s manager Jake Roberts has been a huge dirtbag to Cody’s wife Brandi, so that really needs to be avenged.  It’s really impressive how AEW can build these matches up with really simple things that defy one’s “this guy has to win” logic, which makes the match more exciting.  My money’s on Archer, but I have to root for Cody.

Nyla Rose vs. Hikaru Shida - Rose is making her second defense of the AEW women’s world championship.  Shida earned this title shot by winning a four-way match on May 13.

This match feels a little cold to me, probably because both women were absent from TV for about a month.  AEW’s women’s division has always struggled to be relevant but it’s been hit particularly hard by the pandemic.  Between travel bans and wrestlers electing to stay home, a huge chunk of the roster has been unavailable.  Nevertheless, Rose still comes across as a big dominant juggernaut, and Shida still feels like the babyface they’ve been saving for a special occasion, so it’s like everything worked out in the end.

Shida makes sense as the next women’s champion, but it feels too early.  Even though Nyla has held the title since February, her absence in April makes it feel like she hasn’t had enough time to really make it her own.  I have to pick Rose to retain.

Casino Ladder Match - This is a nine-man match, where the winner will earn the right to challenge the AEW men’s world champion.  Like any ladder match, an objective (a casino chip in this case) will be suspended above the ring, and ladders will be provided for the participants to use and climb; the first man to retrieve the objective wins the match.  However, participants will enter the match gauntlet style, with two men starting and an additional man entering every 90 seconds.  In theory, the match could end before everyone has entered, but I doubt it’ll come to that.

The plan a year ago was to make the “casino battle royale” an annual tradition at Double or Nothing, but I’m guessing that wasn’t feasible this year.  Social distancing guidelines and battle royales (battles royale?) don’t go well together.  Then again, neither do nine-person ladder matches, although it’s possible the gauntlet stip will help limit the action to two or three people in the ring at any given time.

Eight participants have been announced: Orange Cassidy, Colt Cabana, Darby Allin, Scorpio Sky, Frankie Kazarian, Kip Sabian, Luchasaurus, and (as a late substitution for Rey Fenix) Joey Janela.  It looks like the ninth entrant won’t be revealed before the show, which is actually kind of exciting considering how many hot free agents are available at the moment.  I’m not saying it will be one of the people WWE recently released, but it makes at least as much sense as using Billy Gunn or something.

I don’t have a strong sense of who should win, because the winner is probably just going to lose to Jon Moxley on a free TV match.  I guess the question is, who would be the best opponent for Moxley in that situation?  I’m leaning towards Darby Allin, but not much.  If the mystery entrant is any good, though, that could change everything.

MJF vs. Jungle Boy - There’s not much of a story here.  MJF was riding high after a big win over Cody Rhodes on February 29, but then he was out for about a month, presumably due to the pandemic.  He claimed he was sidelined by a devastating hangnail, but I don’t know if I buy that.  Upon his return, he was told he’d be facing Jungle Boy here, and he wasn’t happy.  Since then, they’ve been kinda teasing Jungle Boy’s buddy Luchasaurus against MJF’s henchman Wardlow, so we’ll probably get more teases for that.

Listen, I’m not saying Jungle Boy is going to target the pinkie finger that had the hangnail.  I’m definitely not saying Jungle Boy is going to bite MJF’s finger, or that MJF will sell it like he’s been shot.  I’m just saying that would be a really good idea that would be worth the full price of the pay-per-view.

But I have a feeling MJF will win anyhow.

Kris Statlander vs. Penelope Ford - This was originally going to be Statlander against Britt Baker, but Baker suffered a knee injury on May 20.  I’m becoming a big Baker fan (I mean, boo, she’s mean, but y’know), so it sucks that she’s sidelined.  But it’s kinda cool that Ford gets to step up here.  She seems talented, but she hasn’t been pushed too hard except as Kip Sabian’s girl.  Then again, I like Statlander’s alien hijinx too.  Can I just bet that all the wrestlers will have a good time?

Shawn Spears vs. Dustin Rhodes - The entire heel gimmick for Spears is that he hates Cody Rhodes, which isn’t so great since he only fights Cody once every few months.  Anyway, he got eliminated in the TNT title tournament by Cody, and since then he’s been giving Dustin shit.  When Dustin was eliminated from the tournament in a bloody match with Lance Archer, Cody teased throwing in the towel but didn’t.  So Spears is trying to make big deal about Cody not rescuing Dustin, and Dustin being a washed-up has-been.  I’m pretty sure Dustin is just going to beat his ass and that’ll be it.

Chuckie T & Trent Beretta vs. Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen - This is scheduled for the pre-show.  The winning team will earn a shot at the AEW tag team championship.  So I guess that means Kenny Omega and Hangman Page have to do the title match soon, which suggests Page can’t immediately go back to hiding in the woods.  Maybe?  I mean, good for Hangman staying at home.  I’m just saying I don’t have a clue what’s going on in the tag team division.  Anyway, Kassidy and Quen are cool and they’ll be big someday, but it’s pretty clear that AEW thinks “someday” is ways off.  The Best Friends are the clear favorite to win, although an upset isn’t totally impossible.

#aew #double or nothing #jon moxley #brodie lee #cody rhodes #lance archer #the elite #the inner circle

[liugeaux]

Six Degrees of Slaparation

It’s hard for me to have a “hot-take” about the now infamous Oscars “slap”. From the “good for him for defending his wife” to “comedians do comedy and should be allowed to do it badly” everyone seems to have an opinion about this mostly harmless pop-culture moment. I see both sides and ultimately for both parties its just the cost of doing business in entertainment. 

Personally, I’m just so happy that we, as a nation, as a culture, as a people, got to experience this together. Moments like this remind us that even the most successful people on the planet are just like us, still figuring shit out as they go. It was a uniquely human moment that could only exist in the odd Hollywood vacuum that is the ultra-pretentious Oscars.  

I love it so much, I can’t express how much moments like this - lightly controlled chaos, with well known personas, in a very public forum - are peak entertainment for me. It’s the high reality TV has been chasing for 25 years. Watch every episode of The Real World, Flavor of Love and The Bachelor, and I guarantee you won’t see anything as compelling as one of the most beloved actors of all time slapping the shit out of one of the most respected Comedians on the planet. 

Thank you Chris Rock for your poorly timed joke, thank you Will Smith for being human, thank you Academy for siting the Smiths so close to the stage, thank you international broadcast for not cutting the audio fast enough, thank you Twitter for giving us the perfect venue for our potentially toxic discussions. Thank you meme-verse for acting accordingly and filling the world with humor within minutes of the broadcast.  

Like the night Tyson bit off a chunk of Holyfield’s ear I will always remember where I was and the situation I was in when it happened. Its a moment that will be talked about for decades, if not centuries, and we were there, we created the discourse, we dictated how the pop culture narrative unfolds. Just when I thought mono-culture was dying, something like this happens and I begin to realize mono-culture isn’t dead, it’s evolved. This exciting, always-online, bitterly-toxic, ever-chaotic, version of humanity is us at our most-evolved and to-date intellectual peak. 

Ok on second thought, that might be my “hot-take” :)

#will smith #oscars #chris rock #slap

[thegraytalon-blog]

Resident Evil 2 Review (Remake)

Overview:

Hey everyone, once again The Gray Talon takes aim, chooses his targets wisely and considers his prey carefully and TODAY we will be diving back into the zombie infested town of Raccoon City as Leon S. Kennedy and Claire Redfield to see how this remake stacks up. Is it a truly a definitive survival horror modern masterpiece on a title that is over 20 years old or is it a cheap knock off for a quick cash grab like other remakes or remasters rather, have done oh so many times in the past since this console generation started? Let’s jump right in and find out! (And once again I will do my best to not spoil the plot.)

Graphics:

It’s 2019 and in this day and age one may begin to ask how much better can graphics truly get? And the answer lies no further than with Resident Evil 2. The new RE engine that Capcom is using holds such weight and presence here that you will begin to pause for several moments at a time as you take in the awe-inspiring meaty visuals on some of the zombies as they begin to deform and deteriorate before your very eyes whether it be from examining their idle corpses or studying and counting the pieces of brain chunks left after taking their heads off with that faithful shotgun or magnum. In terms of performance, I was playing this on my Xbox 1X and honestly it was damn near flawless. The framerate seemed consistent and almost locked at 60FPS for the most part, except during some intense action sequences when it dipped to below 50FPS but that was few and far between. Output on the 1X was a true 4K at 2160p. From the opening sequence to the part where you turn over that zombie’s head to reveal some juicy chunks of flesh to the first appearance of the horror that is Mr. X, the game is a true delight to witness through and through. 

Gameplay and Control:

What happens when you marry the atmosphere, item crafting, inventory management and horror of RE7 with the camera and control scheme of RE4? Sex, people. Pure, simple, unadulterated, prolific and glorious sex is what you shall receive in return. This is quite possibly the most fluidly controlled RE game I have played since RE4 rolled around 15 years ago. The controls are air tight and responsive, allowing you to navigate the eerie police station and lab with ease. The signature shortcut 180 degree snap feature returns in RE as well that they have trademarked over the last 2 decades, where you hold down on the joystick and press X or A to quickly turn around in the opposite direction. A useful tool indeed when Mr. X comes a’ knockin! Now in terms of movement and combat, the game offers you several options. You can opt to simply run away from all forms of zombies and lickers who are trying to chow down or cop a piece of your ass like you’re grade A top choice meat in the mile high club and the only female member of a flight surrounded by ravenous love starved men. Or on the flipside, if you decide to run and gun your way through, might I suggest heavy emphasis on the GUN aspect and light on the RUN. Especially when lickers are present. You want to tip-toe around them and walk on eggshells whenever you see those Gene Simmons from KISS impostors lurking about. When you fire you always want to aim true for their heads, especially on Mr. X, even though shots only stun him, leaving a small window of time for you to run past and make your escape.  In terms of weapons and upgrades, you start off with a simple handgun and have to work your way to unlocking other weapons via key cards or solving puzzles for guns such as the beloved shotgun, SMG, flamethrower and grenade launcher. You can also unlock greater inventory capacity via weapon holsters that are picked up during each separate campaign that makes life a lot easier. And finally, the puzzles are quite elaborate, just as they were from the original RE2 back in ‘98, so be prepared to put on that thinking cap throughout both Leon and Claire’s campaigns as you scratch your head to solve chemistry puzzles and even have to convert binary code to unlock elaborate doors in the lab sections.

Story/Campaign/Narrative:

The setting is 1998 in a small mid-western town of Raccoon City. You’re playing as rookie cop Leon S. Kennedy going to the police station for his first day on the job and/or a 90′s punk rock poster girl, college student Claire Redfield who’s in search of her brother Chris when all of a sudden the zombie T-Virus has just been unleashed onto the town and their stories converge at the police station where the majority of the game transpires.. For a 21 year old game, Capcom has made sure to make RE2 feel all grown up. While story aspects remain the same from the original release, they hired a brand new cast for voice over work as well as recreated most of the way scenes play out, like the first introduction to the illustrious Mr. X. Each campaign is fresh yet familiar and, for example, Leon’s first sighting of him is nuanced and a slow burn in a dark corridor, whereas on Claire’s run, although  you first spot him in the same place, it is in a completely different and quite sudden, fast paced, way. The core of the narrative revolves around Leon and Claire both trying to achieve the same goal of figuring out a way to survive within the confounds of the Raccoon City police station while working separately in their unique campaigns. Things go awry and snowball downward and take them from the police station to the sewers and right to the laboratory where the T and G viruses are made once good ol’ Mr X shows up. And in case anyone hasn’t a clue who I’m speaking of, let’s just say once Mr. X shows up in his trench coat and fedora, you’ll do whatever it takes to stop yourself from crapping your pants suit while fleeing hastily in his opposite direction because if he catches you, well, then let’s just say he will give it to ya! And you’ll go down harder than than a hooker on a weekend romp in Vegas because this dude moves like the T-800 and hits like Mike Tyson. Prison Mike too mind you so stay frosty! Each campaign is about 6-8 hours long, depending on your pace and offers another set of playthroughs on Leon and Claire’s “B” side, which means you will start off in different areas and end up following different routes and pick up different gear at different times, etc. to receive a new and true ending. I suggest you play Leon A scenario first, then go on over to Claire’s B scenario for the final and let’s say, good ending. So we’re talking a total of about roughly 16 hours, over 24 hours if you play through the game 4 times for shits and gigs. Overall the game is heavily story driven and robust, leaving players feeling the true meaning of survival horror along the way as you try and unlock the mysteries surrounding each of the viruses associated with the aloof Umbrella Corporation.

Sound, Music and Voice:

From the sounds of your character’s breathing as a creaking old wooden floor squeaks beneath you as you’re walking down a supposedly empty hallway to the terrifying growls and grunts of the zombies plowing towards you to munch on your no no parts, the sound effects are simply magnificent and remarkable. Sometimes the sound of silence is the biggest star of the show since Capcom does a tremendous job at making the player feel tensed up as they navigate the dark, gloomy and bloody corners of the police station. Just when you think the coast is clear and you’re about to reach that sweet, sweet save room, something unexpected usually happens that may cause you to almost lose control of your game pad and bowels as well. The music is subtle yet effective. The slow paced ambiance of woefully sounding background noises are a nice touch as you traverse the environment, carefully inspecting your surroundings ensuring your survival. The weapons too, when used, sound just as you would expect them. Nothing quite satisfies to the very core like hearing the sound of a shell of a shotgun or magnum blast and watching the zombie’s head explode in front of you like a popping a fat, overbearing zit. Or using the flamethrower and hearing the cracking sounds of fire as your enemies are burnt to a crisp then listening to the residual hissing sounds after you barbecued them like a rack of ribs on the 4th of July. The voice acting is surprisingly well done too. While not a familiarized sounding Leon from previous RE titles, I am glad they got someone who sounds fitting for the role. Fitting in a sense of a young buck who is just starting off in the real world and has yet to earn his stripes, but by the game’s end does so, ten-fold. Claire, too, sounds good and almost a little too surprisingly upbeat for the madness that is commencing around her. The supporting cast also does a great job to display the weighted turmoil surrounding them and the situation that they are all in. 

Replay Value:

High as a kite on a windy March day! I had to literally drag myself on playing through this game a third time. I was infatuated with the entirety this game had to offer. I have not been this glamoured by a Resident Evil game since the likes of Resident Evil 4. There is just so much to go back and do too in terms of getting all of the playthroughs, weapons, upgrades, items and hey, even speed runs to unlock such things as infinite ammo. Who wouldn’t want to barrage Mr. X with a plethora of rockets or grenades to see if you can actually kill that rat bastard? 

Conclusion:

My final score for Capcom’s Resident Evil 2 Remake is going to have to be a 9.5/10. Simply remarkable on all fronts. The video game industry now has set a new bar and new standard for remakes. Other companies are going to have a tough time toppling this undead opus. After you have finally run through both Leon and Claire’s individual campaign’s and the bittersweet zombie blood smoke has settled, what more can I say about this magnificently crafted game, other than why are you still listening to my dumbass for? Go play it for yourself to experience the horror and greatness!

PRO’S:

A beautifully yet horrifyingly detailed world from characters to environments.

Superb story with many terrifying moments.

Rewarding inventory and upgrades.

Satisfying camera and controls.

Tons of replay value.

CON’S:

If only playing one campaign it may be a bit on the short side for some.

A slightly long learning curve for newcomers as ammo tends to run very scarce at times.

#video games #reviews #resident evil #capcom

[pcwpolwrestling]

Shutdown Continues/New Heartland Champion Crowned: PCW Extreme Political TV

================================

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Blue background. The top of the Capitol Building occupies the left hand side of the television screen.

Centered in the middle of the screen: “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.”]

P-SPAN Announcer (off screen): The P-SPAN Network bring you long-form public affairs programming from the nation’s capital and are a public service of…

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Logos of twenty three different cable and satellite television companies replace the Capitol Building and P-SPAN graphic.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): …your television provider.

[ON SCREEN GRAPHIC: Returns to the blue background with the top of the Capitol Building occupying the left hand side of the television screen with “P-SPAN. THE POLITICAL CHANNEL.” centered in the middle of the screen.]

P-SPAN Announcer (v/o): P-SPAN. The Political Channel.

===============================

PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN Sunday January 13th, 2018 Taped January 6th at the Black River Coliseum Poplar Bluff, Missouri

Announcers: “The Voice of PCW” Johnny Suave ‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder

==============================

CROWD: PCW!…PCW!…PCW!

Suave and Crowder are in the ring. Suave welcomes everyone in the Black River Coliseum in Poplar Bluff, Missouri to PCW Extreme Political TV.

PHIL FINEBAUM SIGNS OFF CONCERNING ALABAMA’S LOSS LAST MONDAY Johnny Suave: The first thing I want to do is congratulate the Clemson Tigers on winning the Power Five Invitational tournament on Monday night…blowing out Alabama forty-four to sixteen. I wonder if Phil Finebaum has anything to say tonight about the game.

Cut to backstage, the official mouthpiece of the SEC Phil Finebaum glances up and sees the camera. He looks into the camera. Then he flips the bird to the camera and stomps off.

Johnny Suave: I guess not. Last week in the semi-finals of the Heartland title tournament, Jack Fraiser defeated Average Joe…and the ’The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’-

Colleen Crowder: Oh? He’s changing his name this week?

Johnny Suave: …Stone Chism defeated SNAFU. Tonight, it’s Jack Fraiser versus Stone Chism to crown the new PCW Heartland Champion.

Crowder grumbles about Chism quitting the Hollywood Left, getting kicked out of the Progressive Alliance and then getting released from the Blue Brand.

Colleen Crowder: He’s fallen right into a title shot tonight.

Johnny Suave: Yes. You could call him the Kliff Kingsbury of Political Championship Wrestling.

Colleen Crowder: Kliff who?

(NOTE: Kliff Kingsbury was a college football coach at Texas Tech. He recently got fired from Texas Tech after a middling season and parlayed that into a head coaching job in the NFL for the Arizona Cardinals)

Johnny Suave: Never mind.

==

‘MR. HOLLYWOOD’ AIRS HIS GRIEVANCES ‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels comes out. He’s pissed off about the Les Miserables invasion of the Golden Globes earlier in the week.

VIDEO: Outside the Beverly Hilton Hotel Last Sunday Night

A long line of limousines stack up just east of the Beverly Hilton and blare their horns while McAvay, William Daniels Bryan on crutches, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, General DeBauchery, Al Cahall, Nic Koteen, Rah- The Sunshine God, and West Texas Adult Entertainment Legends Dark and Stormy lead the Les Miserables across the intersection of Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard.

Kevin Daniels: What the Les Miserables did was unforgiveable. How dare they defile the regal sanctity of Hollywood’s special night with their presence?  How dare they trespass in their hallowed temple? It showed a complete lack of class. And worse, that scum traitor Stone Chism had to open his mouth about what happened.

VIDEO: ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism Comments

‘The One Man American A-List’ Stone Chism: Two years ago, I had to bite my tongue and denounce the Les Miserables or else risk being blacklisted again by the Hollywood left. Today, I simply don’t give a damn anymore. I don’t care what they’ll say and applaud the Les Miserables and…hell…I even wish I could have been there with them.

Daniels goes on to complain that ‘those animals’ (ie…the Les Miserables) trashed several limousines by painting them. Daniels says the feelings of the Hollywood stars were hurt by the personal attack and feel betrayed because they entertain us to help people forget their meaningless and empty lives. There will be retribution tonight.

Johnny Suave: I’m sure they’ll be sobbing in their Cristal while riding in their limos.

Colleen Crowder: Kevin is absolutely right. The Les Miserables owe our beloved Hollywood friends a sincere apology for their hateful actions Sunday night.

Johnny Suave: Yeah, I don’t see that happening.

===

SHUTDOWN UPDATE The Red Brand and Blue Brand shows continue to be shut down. Suave reviews the fireworks that went down during the week. PCW CEO Donald Trump, President of the PCW Executive Committee Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance), and Chuck Schumer (NY-Progressive Alliance) spoke to the Red Brand and Blue Brand wrestlers at a hastily called meeting on Tuesday in Washington D.C. Included in the group: Universal Tag Team Champions P.M.C. Banks and Charlie Blackwell of the Sports Entertainment Corporation.

VIDEO: Trump Speaks First At Meeting

Trump spoke first and once again urged the Executive Committee to agree to his security enhancements to make PCW show a safer place for the fans. Trump emphasized that he wanted to get the PCW Red and Blue Brands back to work. But as long as Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer refuse to even consider his plan, he will keep the shows shut down.

Next, Nancy Pelosi spoke.

VIDEO: Nancy Pelosi (CA-Progressive Alliance)

Pelosi grimly states Trump has chosen to hold the Red Brand and Blue Brand hostage until he gets his way. Pelosi agrees that we need to secure our shows. But she alleges Trump has manufactured a crisis and is hurting the families of the all the wrestlers who have been effectively locked out of their jobs.

Then Chuck Schumer…

VIDEO: Chuck Schumer (NY-Progressive Alliance)

Schumer, who appeared uber glum, wants to separate the shutdown of PCW shows from the arguments about security.   He states we can secure our shows without building a literal wall between our fans and our wrestlers. Schumer also calls this a manufactured crisis and says let’s get the Blue and Red Brand shows going again and work this out.

Johnny Suave: Hmmm…so apparently there’s a narrative being ‘manufactured’ here?

VIDEO: Comments of The Guild of Low Level Media People Trying to Make a Name for Themselves:

‘Low Level Reporter at the New York Times Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Colleen Crowder: Trump has fabricated this whole thing. Again, this is why we need a new CEO.

‘Low Level Reporter at CNN Trying to Make a Name for Herself’ Sharon Johns: Donald Trump is being petulant. He’s trumped up this ‘crisis’ and is keeping wrestlers from making a living. The Progressive Alliance are right to dig their heels and refuse to consider any other view other than theirs because their view is correct.

‘Low Level Reporter at the Washington Post Trying to Make a Name for Himself’ Dan Miller: Trump is wrong. He’s being a child. His argument has no merit and we agree with the Progressive Alliance over this manufactured crisis.

Crowder protests. Suave moves on.

Johnny Suave: Wednesday Trump, Pelosi, and Schumer met to continue to discuss the issue. Could both sides ratchet down the rhetoric and work together to find an end to the crisis?

VIDEO: Wednesday Meeting Between Trump, Pelosi, and Schumer

[Trump walks in and sits down across from Pelosi and Schumer.]

Donald Trump: What’s going to happen in thirty days if I reopen the Red and Blue Brand, will you agree to approve the improved security enhancements I’m proposing?

Nancy Pelosi: No.

Donald Trump: Okay.

[Trump stands back up and starts for the door.]

Chuck Schumer: Hey? Where are you going?

Donald Trump: I’m not wasting my time.

Chuck Schumer: You can’t leave!

Donald Trump: Didn’t Nancy Pelosi adjourn the Executive Committee early last week so the Progressive Alliance could leave instead of negotiating with the American Patriots?

Nancy Pelosi: That’s different.

[Trump exits.]

Johnny Suave: So apparently no.

Colleen Crowder: That’s totally different. Trump is being unreasonable. He’s the one who’s created this crisis. The Progressive Alliance want the Blue and Red Brand wrestlers to go back to work and it’s the American Patriots and Donald Trump who are standing in the way.

Johnny Suave: I could suggest the complete opposite is the case.

VIDEO: Friday- San Juan, Puerto Rico

[A video appears on the screen. Several high ranking members of the Progressive Alliance exit a plane last Friday and are met by numerous big money lobbyists. While Red Brand and Blue Brand wrestlers continue to stay at home and wait for the shutdown to be resolved, the Progressive Alliance spent the weekend at the island’s Concha hotel which costs $289 a night. Also on the Progressive Alliance itinerary, watching the Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’- tickets to the show range from $200 to $350.]

Colleen Crowder: You could but that’s not the narrative we’re trying hard to drive through the American people.

Suave ran through tonight’s matches. -SPECIAL MATCH: Charley Algernon vs. former 4 time PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka -MAIN EVENT/HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH: ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism vs. Jack Fraiser

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

UPCOMING POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROAD SHOWS January 18th – North Iowa Events Center / Mason City, IA January 19th – Tyson Events Center / Sioux City, IA January 20th – Rushmore Plaza Civic Center / Rapid City, SD January 26th – Wings Event Center / Kalamazoo, MI February 1st – Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL February 2nd – Peoria Civic Center / Peoria, IL February 3rd – David S. Palmer Arena / Danville, IL

=======================

CATFIGHT- POLITICAL STYLE Suave then moves on to the Jim Acosta-Kellyanne Conway brouhaha that took place before the PCW CEO Donald Trump spoke to the PCW wrestlers last Tuesday.

VIDEO: Conway vs. Acosta

Jim Acosta: Kellyanne, can you promise the PCW CEO will tell the truth tonight?

Kellyanne Conway: Yes, Jim. Can you promise that you will? The whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Am I allowed to mention ‘God’ to you?

Acosta fired back that he doesn’t have an ‘alternative facts’ problem like she does.

Kellyanne Conway: Make sure that goes viral. This is why I’m one of the only people around here who gives you the time of day. You’re such a smartass most of the time and I know you want this to go viral.

Jim Acosta: Ma’am?

Kellyanne Conway: Don’t you ma’am me. Don’t you put it back in my face for all the corrections your network needs to issue-

Suddenly Conway emerges on the Black River Coliseum stage and she’s dragging Acosta with her.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT IS SHE DOING? HAS SHE LOST HER MIND?

Conway pulls Acosta towards the ring. A referee runs down and climbs into the ring.

Johnny Suave: We’re going to have ourselves an impromptu match!

Conway and Acosta shout at each other in the ring. The bell sounds.

MATCH #1 Kellyanne Conway vs. CNN’s Jim Acosta Conway and Acosta go nose to nose and exchange heated words.

Johnny Suave: Neither one is backing down!

Colleen Crowder: There’s no way Jim Acosta should back-

A high-pitched male scream interrupts her.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP! TESTICULAR CLAW!

Conway digs her nails in deep. Acosta dances in place (think intense version of the pee-pee dance) and tries to pry her hand off.

Colleen Crowder: WHAT IS SHE DOING?

She squeezes harder. Acosta’s legs go rubbery.

Colleen Crowder: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!

Conway takes a front facelock and then drives Acosta face first to the mat.

Johnny Suave: DDT BY CONWAY! DDT BY CONWAY!

Colleen Crowder: NOOOO!

One…

Two…

Johnny Suave: BRIAN STELTER?

Colleen Crowder: GO BRIAN!

Brian Stelter, host of CNN’s Reliable Sources and tireless defender of all things CNN, pulls Conway off of Acosta.

Johnny Suave: STELTER MAKES THE SAVE FOR ACOSTA!

Stelter also has a microphone and is about to give Conway a stern talking to. He wags his finger at her.

Brian Stelter: This is such BS! Just like Sean Hannity on Fox News, you are trying to make CNN look bad again and I am not going to stand here and take it.

Stelter starts jumping up and down.

Brian Stelter: We are not fake news. We are not the enemy of the people. WE ARE NOT FAKE-AIIEEEEEEEEEEE!

Johnny Suave: TESTICULAR CLAW!

Colleen Crowder: SON OF A BITCH!

Conway squeezes hard as if she’s trying to wring out a towel.

Johnny Suave: SHE’S GOT THE TESTICULAR CLAW ON STELTER!

Stelter does the mock pee-pee dance in the ring and turns pale.

Colleen Crowder: Awww come on Kellyanne!

Conway takes the side headlock. She drops Stelter with a rudimentary DDT and goes back to cover Acosta. The referee slides in to make the count.

One…

Two…

THREE!

*DING-DING-DING*

WINNER: Kellyanne Conway @ 2:19

Conway jumps up and pumps her fist in the air.

Johnny Suave: How impressive is that.

Colleen Crowder: Oh shut up.

Johnny Suave: Kellyanne Conway gets the win, overcoming outside interference by Brian Stelter to get the pinfall on Jim Acosta.

Colleen puts her hands over her ears.

Colleen Crowder: LA-LA-LA-LA…I’M NOT LISTENING!

Johnny Suave: Back with more after this.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

=======================

CSPN INTERVIEW WITH COUNTRY CLUB PRO STEVE ‘THE ELK’ ELKINS AND BLUE STATE ELITIST CHARLES ROBINSON-RICHARDS, ESQ. REGARDING THE SHUTDOWN The video screen fires up. Corporate Sports(entertainment) Programming Nation anchors Reese Anderson and Rebecca Morris are the interviewers and they ask questions about the shutdown of the Red Brand and Blue Brand shows.

Elkins says the money that the shows are losing because of the shutdown show an innate lack of respect for people with the means to pay exorbitant prices to attend sporting events. Elkins says he’s talking about VIP’s who usually occupy front row seats, people with cash and the means to afford to sit close to the action- not the unwashed masses and working class who aren’t good enough to sit in the front rows.

Steve Elkins: The fact that because of this unfortunate shutdown, people of industry, corporate CEO’s, entrepreneurs and the like have no place to go for their PCW entertainment.   They certainly aren’t going to show up in a small town like Poplar Bluff, Missouri. PCW CEO Donald Trump and the Executive Committee needs to get their head out of their collective asses and start properly taking care of the needs of its affluent clientele. The shutdown needs to end…now.

Blue State Elitist Charles Robinson-Richards Esq. comes on the video screen next. He states the fact that PCW Heartland is operating while the Blue Brand is shut down is appalling.

Charles Robinson-Richards Esq.: Blue States are so superior to the rubes sitting at that arena tonight and yet the Blue Brand is silent while this freak show is allowed to exist. You have no moral right to be there watching substandard wrestling while Blue Brand wrestlers are sitting at home and not getting paid.

Robinson-Richards disappears from the video screen. ‘Sports Entertainment Genius’ Mr. McMann comes out to be interviewed by CSPN. McMann is beside himself over the situation. He can’t believe all the money that is being left on the table by the Red and Blue Brand shutdown.

Mr. McMann: This…THIS third-rate wrestling production gets to run shows that makes peanuts on the dollar that a Red or Blue Brand show does.   The bottom line is making money. Revenue. Not putting on a show for the lower end of the financial spectrum.

==

Colleen Crowder: Mr. McMann is absolutely correct. It’s not fair that PCW Heartland has been given special dispensation to continue to operate during the shutdown while the Red Brand and Blue Brand has not.

Johnny Suave: And as Dawn McGill has alluded to before, it’s one of the rare times where the lower and middle class get the benefit of the doubt instead of the elites.

Suave sends it to Kimber Marshall in the ring for the next match.

==

Both men are already in the ring. Kimber introduces the wrestlers.

Charley Algernon HT: 5’ 11” WT: 185 / HOME: New York City, NY

Yamamoto Tanaka “The Japanese SuperDestroyer” HT: 6′ 9″ WT: 350 / HOME: Nagano, Japan FIN: Japanese Super Destroyer

Suave explains that we are about to watch a special match. Charley Algernon has a medical condition that rendered his muscles weakened compared to most people. Charley loves pro wrestling though and hooked up with Dr. Femur, a surgeon and scientist. Dr. Femur performed a special secret surgery and Charley now has strength, stamina, and athletic instincts he didn’t have before.

Johnny Suave: I’m not sure about the ethics in this case. Charley is benefitting from science enhancing his body and making him into an athlete.

Colleen Crowder: I never doubt science, Johnny. Science is science. It’s never wrong. You should never…ever doubt science.

Johnny Suave: Kudos to Tanaka going along with this match. Tanaka is a four time PCW champion and didn’t have to do this match.   But here he is in the ring.

===

MATCH #2: Charley Algernon vs. Yamamoto Tanaka

*DING-DING*

Early exchanges. Algernon, who’s giving up a hell of a lot of weight to Tanaka, somehow manages to wrestle to a stalemate. Shoulder block by Tanaka. Algernon avoids a second shoulder block and drop toeholds Tanaka to the mat. Both back up. Tanaka charges again and Algernon drop toeholds him to the mat again. Annoyed, Tanaka takes a breather on the apron. Algernon propels himself off the rope and dropkicks Tanaka off the apron.

Johnny Suave: WOW! What a move by Algernon! Tanaka is not the wrestler he was a few years ago but still, Algernon shouldn’t be able to do that to him.

Colleen Crowder: It’s all about the science. Science never fails.

Tanaka tries to get back in but eats an enziguri and ends up landing on the ring steps. The crowd cheers Algernon and he takes a bow. Tanaka back in. Algernon continues to ride the momentum and works on Tanaka’s creaky knees. Algernon with a neckbreaker. Algernon Irish whips Tanaka into the ropes and goes for another drop toehold but Tanaka manages to counter. Tanaka goes for a suplex and Algernon slips out the back door. But he suddenly slows noticeably allowing Tanaka to nail a body slam and a jumping elbow drop. Algernon blocks the Japanese Destroyer but still takes an inverted DDT. Algernon elbows free of a fireman’s carry but can’t escape a German suplex by Tanaka. Algernon rolls out of the ring. He looks winded and glances at Dr. Femur who’s appeared at ringside holding a box.

Johnny Suave: Dr. Femur? What’s wrong.

Dr. Femur: I have…bad news.

Johnny Suave: Bad news?

Dr. Femur shows the box. Colleen screams.

Johnny Suave: Ew. That’s a dead mouse.

Dr. Femur: Yes. This mouse had the same surgery that Charley did. After the surgery, for days this very mouse kicked the everloving *BLEEP* out of the other mice. But then he stopped. And then…this.

Colleen Crowder: What does it mean?

Dr. Femur: This means the surgery didn’t work and the effects are going to reverse.

Colleen Crowder: No! That can’t be true. I believe in science. Science is always right.

Meanwhle, Tanaka has now taken complete control of match. Algernon gets away and tries another drop toehold…except he’s forgotten how to do it.

Charley Algernon (in frustration): I knew how to do this move five minutes ago!

Johnny Suave: Oh dear.

Colleen Crowder: Oh *BLEEP*.

Tanaka clotheslines Algernon and then drags him to the top rope. He sets Algernon up for the Japanese SuperDestroyer. Crowder gets up from her chair.

Johnny Suave: What are you doing?

Colleen Crowder: I’m going to get flowers for Algernon…I’ve seen this story before and he’s about to die.

Tanaka jumps and hits the Japanese SuperDestroyer.

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Cover.

One…

Two…

Three…

WINNER: Yamamoto Tanaka at 7:52

Tanaka helps Algernon up after the match. Algernon is a little woozy but okay.

Johnny Suave: You were saying about science always being right?

Colleen Crowder: Shut up. Just…shut…up.

=======================

**COMMERCIAL BREAK**

UPCOMING POLITICAL CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING ROAD SHOWS January 18th – North Iowa Events Center / Mason City, IA January 19th – Tyson Events Center / Sioux City, IA January 20th – Rushmore Plaza Civic Center / Rapid City, SD January 26th – Wings Event Center / Kalamazoo, MI February 1st – Effingham Performance Center / Effingham, IL February 2nd – Peoria Civic Center / Peoria, IL February 3rd – David S. Palmer Arena / Danville, IL

=======================

DAWN McGILL-PROFESSOR McCARTHY MEETING Suave explains that Professor McCarthy from Berkeley, California has gone into PCW Heartland owner Dawn McGill’s office to demand an apology. For what?

REPLAY: Professor McCarthy-Dawn McGill Confrontation at Extreme Election Night 2018

[McCarthy clips McGill in the face while waving the good book.]

[McGill instinctively drives a high heel into the Professor’s balls and doubles him over. Then she takes him by the head and sends him up and over the short wall down to the concourse below, right through a pair of tables that were magically and strategically set up at the exact spot Professor McCarthy fell.]

[The crowd gasps.]

Johnny Suave: HOLY CRAP!

Professor McCarthy’s flock…the Green World Order (Peta from PETA, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick), the Young Jerks (Zenk Cryger, James Idahola, and their foul-mouthed sidekick Anna), Codee Pink, and Emily S. List all wait expectantly outside Dawn’s office.

Johnny Suave: So the question is…will Dawn McGill apologize for throwing Professor McCarthy over the railing of the luxury suite at Extreme Election Night 2018?

Colleen Crowder: She should. Dawn McGill needs to show that she’s committed to PCW being a safe space to wor-

Suddenly, the wooden door to McGill’s office literally explodes. An airborne McCarthy shoots out from the debris of the shattering door and lands in a heap in the hallway.

Johnny Suave: And the answer is no.

McGill walks out wiping her hands off. She takes a look at the stunned Flock, delivers a middle finger salute, and goes back into her office.

Colleen Crowder: That was not called for.

Johnny Suave: Oh, yes it was.

MAIN EVENT TIME Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall is in the ring to introduce the main event.

Jack Fraiser HT: 6”3” WT: 205 / HOME: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan FIN: Canadian Crusher Valet: ‘Oootlander Blaire Rendell

The video screen comes to life:

It’s 1946 in the Scottish Highlands.

On the hill of Irish na Dun, British nurse Blaire Rendell hears the tell-tale buzzing sound as she approaches the standing stones. This makes her very happy.]

Blaire Rendell (Scottish accent): Soon, I’ll be back with my true love Jamie and I will be truly happy once again in eighteen century Scotland.

Blaire goes to the standing stones where the buzzing sound gets louder and louder. Soon she faints and falls to the ground. When she wakes up…

Blaire nearly jumps in the air when she encounters the source of the voice. He is dressed in heavy plaid lumberjack shirt, a warm coat, and a tuque.

Blaire Rendell: Wh-who the hell are you?   And where the hell am I?

Jack Fraiser: My name is Jack Fraiser. You are in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan Canada.

Blaire Rendell: Saskatoon…Saskatchewan Canada? That can’t be true. I’m supposed to be in Scotland.

[A hockey puck comes flying by just barely missing both of them.]

Blaire Rendell: What the *BLEEP*!

Jack Fraiser: Nope. This is definitely Canada.

*‘No Smoke Without a Fire’ – Bad Company*

The crowd explodes when Marshall introduces ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and he walks out on stage.

‘The One Man American A-List’ Stone Chism HT: 6′ 2″ WT: 225 / HOME: Hollywood, CA FIN:  American Blockbuster

Chism climbs in the ring and raises his arms.

Johnny Suave: Stone Chism is a former PCW Champion and two time Television champion. Jack Fraiser is a newcomer to PCW.   That is the big difference between the two. Chism clearly has the experience advantage. But Chism may have to contend with Fraiser’s Oootlander Blaire Rendell who’s not afraid of interjecting herself into a match.

Colleen Crowder: Stone Chism is a traitor to the left and needs to lose.

Johnny Suave: That is the always unbiased and impartial Colleen Crowder.

Colleen Crowder: Don’t you mansplain to me.

===

MAIN EVENT-HEARTLAND TITLE MATCH: ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism vs. Jack Fraiser

*DING-DING*

Johnny Suave: And here we go. The winner becomes the new Heartland Champion.

1st MINUTE Chism and Fraiser trade punches out of the box. Chism doubles up on right hands and drives Fraiser into the corner. Chop by Chism.   Second chop by Chism. Fraiser grabs Chism and spins him into the corner. Fraiser with a chop in return. Second chop.

2nd MINUTE Both men trade punches and chops. Chism gets a rake of the eyes but runs into a forearm from Fraiser. Fraiser lands a few blows. But Chism cuts him off with a clothesline. Chism covers.

One…

T-

Fraiser with the easy kick out. Arm drag takedown by Chism who holds on to the arm and turns it into an armbar to keep Fraiser grounded.

3rd MINUTE Fraiser makes it back to his feet. Chism hits a jumping front kick that sends Fraiser back down. Chism covers.

One…

Two…

Fraiser kicks out again. He stands and charges into another arm drag takedown from Chism. Again, Chism transitions into an armbar.

Johnny Suave: So far, Stone Chism’s experience in these type of matches is showing. Jack Fraiser seems out of sorts. He doesn’t look comfortable. Chism is controlling and dominating the match. Colleen, what do you think?

Colleen Crowder: About what?

Johnny Suave: The match.

Colleen Crowder: You want me to comment on the match?

Johnny Suave: Well, you are a reporter. You’re supposed to report things. What’s your report on the match?

Crowder just ‘looks’ at him.

Colleen Crowder: Uh…Stone Chism abandoned Hollywood and its values and should lose the match?

Suave sighs.

7th MINUTE A very frustrated Fraiser confers with his Oootlander Blaire Rendell on the outside.

Johnny Suave: Fraiser is going to have to try something different to get back into this match.

‘Mr. Hollywood’ Kevin Daniels appears and heads towards ringside. Chism, waiting for Fraiser to come back in, sees Daniels coming and becomes distracted by him.

Johnny Suave: What is Kevin Daniels doing here?

Colleen Crowder: Mr. Hollywood is here to deliver justice and payback on behalf of the Hollywood Left who Stone Chism deserted.

Johnny Suave; He’s a Blue Brand wrestler and he’s shown up at a PCW Heartland show.

Colleen Crowder: Well Johnny, with the shutdown he’s got a lot more free time on his hands. Like helping out Jack Fraiser take down Stone Chism.

Fraiser back in and they lock up. With Chism keeping an eye out on Daniels, Fraiser gets an arm wringer and hits a belly to belly suplex. Fraiser covers.

One…

Tw-

Chism kicks out and immediately looks towards Daniels on the outside.

Johnny Suave: Or maybe Mr. Hollywood will just do it for him.

Colleen Crowder: Whatever works.

Fraiser lays in the boots on Chism. Fraiser lands a series of rights then a jumping forearm shot and a jumping boot that drives Chism to the corner. Fraiser charges in…he runs into a right hand.

8th MINUTE Fraiser gets another head of steam. Chism counters into a Samoan drop. He climbs to the top rope but Daniels walks towards him and Chism stops and stares at him. Fraiser back up. He crotches Chism on the top rope and leaves him hanging on the rope. Fraiser spins Chism around and drops to the mat snapping Chism’s neck over the top rope. Chism rebounds off the apron to the floor.

Johnny Suave: Kevin Daniels is driving the ‘One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ to distraction and Jack Fraiser is taking full advantage of the situation.

Colleen Crowder: Once again, whatever works.

Fraiser climbs to the top turnbuckle. But Daniels is already there and he starts laying in the boots on Chism.

Johnny Suave: HERE WE GO!

9th MINUTE Daniels drops down and starts whaling away at Chism. Fraiser’s unsure what to do. The crowd suddenly roars.

Johnny Suave: IT’S THE UNIVERSAL CHAMPION RAY McAVAY!

Colleen Crowder: WHAT? WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

McAvay races down. Daniels sees him and tries to get back to his feet. He doesn’t quite make it and McAvay drives his shoulder into Daniels’s gut and crashes Mr. Hollywood into the steel barricade around the ring.

Johnny Suave: McAVAY MAKES THE SAVE!

McAvay and Daniels brawl into the crowd.

Colleen Crowder: Johnny, Ray McAvay had no right to interfere in the match. He should have stayed backstage and minded his own business. He’s changed the momentum of the match completely.

Johnny Suave: After McAvay chased Daniels to the back, it’s been all Stone Chism again for the last five minutes and Fraiser is running out of gas.

15th MINUTE Chism sets Fraiser up for a vertical suplex…and hits it. Cover.

One…

Two…

Fraiser desperately gets the shoulder up.

Johnny Suave: I don’t know how much Fraiser has left in the tank.

Colleen Crowder: It would have been a lot easier had McAvay not meddled in the match.

Chism again sets Fraiser up in the vertical suplex position…but this time drives Fraiser down to the mat.

Johnny Suave: ANTI-HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER!

Chism rolls the legs.

One…

Two…

THREE!

Colleen Crowder: DAMMIT!

Johnny Suave: NEW CHAMPION!

Kimber Marshall in the ring with the pronouncement.

WINNER AND NEW PCW HEARTLAND CHAMPION: ‘The One Man Anti-Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism @ 14:44

Johnny Suave: STONE CHISM IS YOUR NEW PCW HEARTLAND CHAMPION!

Colleen Crowder: He’s not MY champion Johnny.

Chism celebrates in the ring. Suave does a quick recap and then signs off for the night.

Johnny Suave: We’ll see you next week!

[‘Trumpet Concerto No. 2 in D major – 3 Allegro assai’ begins to play in the background and P-SPAN quickly cuts away to another political event.]

#politics #political #political satire #political wrestling #political nation #heartland #populist #populism #Donald Trump #nancy pelosi #chuck schumer #kellyanne conway #jim acosta #CNN #republican #republicans #us house of representatives #united states senate #Red State #blue state #moderate #independent #independents #new york times #washington post

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mars enters Gemini

April 21 - June 4, 2017

About 15 years ago, maybe a bit more, “The Mountain Astrologer” ran a partially tongue-in-cheek article about Mars filtered through different signs. My copy of that issue hasn’t survived the various changes of address since then, but because my son has this particular natal Mars position and perfectly exemplifies it, I’ve always recalled the description of Mars in Gemini as “the mouth warrior.”

So here’s little Mars, donning the armor of the Twins to do battle. He wants us to be braver and to fight better, and you know Geminian mouthiness will eventually bring on plenty of adversaries. I have to wonder if Mars in Gemini people ever consider fighting with their (not inconsiderable) intelligence - Dr. King certainly did. These folks can be master strategists, when they focus long enough. (Although when their strategies get too convoluted, they’re easily and quickly dispatched by the simplest methods - Ms M is thinking specifically of playing Connect 4 with her son.)

I think Mars/Gemini wants us to be able to mix it up a bit, too. My beloved Keith Richards can wield both a switchblade and a Telecaster, for example. After all, if you have only one method of fighting, it won’t be long before your enemies figure it out. Keep ‘em guessing.

With Mars in Gemini, then, we need to broaden our repertoire, to use our heads for something besides a battering ram, and to be more flexible and more open to learning new tricks. The problems are (as ever) the mouth making promises the body can’t keep, a very short fuse, and refusal to focus.

Although the transit through Gemini will be off to a bumpy start, the rest of the journey seems to feature The Cosmos compensating for those challenges by throwing in some helpful sextiles and trines. Remember that an asterisk (*) next to the sign means it’s in for the challenges.

Celebrities with Mars in Gemini: KEITH RICHARDS, Jimmy Page, Colin Firth, Ms M’s son, Dwayne Johnson, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Uma Thurman, Natalie Portman, Marion Cotillard, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Meryl Streep, Kate Winslet, Catherine Deneuve, Alexander the Great, Ludwig van Beethoven, Naomi Campbell, Chris Evans (actor), Coco Chanel, Mike Tyson, Pierce Brosnan, Viggo Mortensen, Tiger Woods, Tom Brady

Friday, April 21, North Node/Virgo South Node/Pisces square Mars/Gemini, 00:21

Our timing is way off, or wrong, most likely both. There will probably be an outbreak of “open mouth, insert foot” - in the US’ natal chart, this triggers the Sun/Cancer/7th square to Saturn/Libra/10th. Wonderful! This aspect is intended to command our attention and direct it to the need to learn the Mars/Gemini lessons.

Planets/Points affected lie between 00:00 and 01:21 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 14:00 and 16:21 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*.

Thursday, May 11, Neptune/Pisces square Mars/Gemini, 13:55; Jupiter Rx/Libra trine Mars/Gemini, 14:23; Sunday, May, 14, Pallas/Aries sextile Mars/Gemini, 15:55

This weekend features the failure to focus. Neptune/Pisces seems to sap our strength, as well as distract; that trine from Jupiter/Libra smacks of my poor son’s grandiose Connect 4 game plans. I’m banking on Pallas/Aries to morph all that into developing a flexible, imaginative, and successful strategy.

Square from Neptune: Planets/Points affected lie between 12:55 and 14:55 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 27:55 and 29:55 of the cardinal signs Aries*, Cancer*, Libra*, and Capricorn*

Trine from Jupiter/Sextile from Pallas: Planets/Points affected lie between 13:23 and 16:55 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Thursday, May 25, Eris/Aries sextile Mars/Gemini, 23:37

It’s difficult to see interactions between Mars and Eris as anything but nasty challenges, but since this is a sextile there’s an opportunity lurking inside there somewhere. This is a pretty active day - a Gemini New Moon, preceded by a Venus-Pluto square - I am wondering if the ���shadow feminine” of Eris might manifest herself somehow, in a voluble Mars/Gemini way.

Planets/Points affected lie between 22:37 and 24:37 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra,Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Monday, May 29, Saturn Rx/Sagittarius opposite Mars/Gemini, 25:44; Tuesday, May 30, Uranus/Aries sextile Mars/Gemini, 26:57; Thursday, June 1, North Node/Leo sextile Mars/Gemini, South Node/Aquarius trine Mars/Gemini, 28:11

The end of a holiday weekend in the US (Memorial Day, our “unofficial start of summer”). We’re feeling better about our skill sets, to be sure! The emphasis is on our independence and on our ability to take care of ourselves, and we’re probably trash-talking. But the opposition from Saturn/Sag, though - “The Mountain Astrologer” refers to it as “polarizing,” and explains, “We tend to feel both misunderstood and judgmental, which leads to frustration with others and irritation with ourselves. Our challenge is not to repress our anger, but to find mature ways to adequately express what we are thinking and feeling.”

Planets/Points affected lie between 24:44 and 29:11 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius. Placements experiencing difficulties are between 24:44 and 26:44 of the mutable signs Gemini*, Virgo*, Sagittarius*, and Pisces*; and between 9:44 and 11:44 of the fixed signs Taurus*, Leo*, Scorpio*, and Aquarius*.

#Astrology #Transiting Mars enters Gemini #Ms M astrologer

[jessicakehoe]

Schitt’s Creek Gets Its First Emmy Nods, and Other Highlights From This Year’s Nominations

Emmy nominations in recent years have become a bit of a drill, with Game of Thrones, Veep, Better Caul Saul and This Is Us predictably scooping up most of the nods. This year, though, had some wildcard energy, with the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences nominating a bunch of fresh names and faces: Natasha Lyonne’s Russian Doll got some love, as did Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag (all five of its leading/supporting/guest actresses got noms but Andrew Scott’s Hot Priest didn’t, which, blasphemy!), and Ava DuVernay’s When They See Us. Beloved Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek FINALLY got its due, with nominations for Outstanding Comedy Series, Contemporary Costumes, and nods for both Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara.

Read on for the full list of 2019 nominees, who in just a few months will start gearing up for Moira Rose’s favourite season.

via GIPHY

OUTSTANDING DRAMA Better Call Saul Bodyguard Game of Thrones Killing Eve Ozark Pose Succession This Is Us

LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA Jason Bateman, Ozark Sterling K. Brown, This Is Us Kit Harington, Game of Thrones Bob Odenkirk, Better Call Saul Billy Porter, Pose Milo Ventimiglia, This Is Us

LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones Jodie Comer, Killing Eve Viola Davis, How to Get Away With Murder Laura Linney, Ozark Mandy Moore, This Is Us Sandra Oh, Killing Eve Robin Wright, House of Cards

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA Gwendoline Christie, Game of Thrones Julia Garner, Ozark Lena Headey, Game of Thrones Fiona Shaw, Killing Eve Sophie Turner, Game of Thrones Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA Alfie Allen, Game of Thrones Jonathan Banks, Better Call Saul Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game of Thrones Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones Giancarlo Esposito, Better Call Saul Michael Kelly, House of Cards Chris Sullivan, This Is Us

GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA Laverne Cox, Orange Is the New Black Cherry Jones, The Handmaid’s Tale Jessica Lange, AHS: Apocalypse Phylicia Rashad, This Is Us Cicely Tyson, How to Get Away With Murder Carice van Houten, Game of Thrones

GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA Michael Angarana, This Is Us Ron Cephas Jones, This Is Us Michael McKean, Better Call Saul Kumail Nanjiani, The Twilight Zone Glynn Turman, How to Get Away With Murder Bradley Whitford, The Handmaid’s Tale

OUTSTANDING COMEDY Barry Fleabag The Good Place The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Russian Doll Schitt’s Creek Veep

LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY Christina Applegate, Dead to Me Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep Natasha Lyonne, Russian Doll Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag

LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY Anthony Anderson, black-ish Don Cheadle, Black Monday Ted Danson, The Good Place Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method Bill Hader, Barry Eugene Levy, Schitt’s Creek

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Anna Chlumsky, Veep Sian Clifford, Fleabag Olivia Colman, Fleabag Betty Gilpin, GLOW Sarah Goldberg, Barry Marin Hinkle, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Kate McKinnon, Saturday Night Live

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method Anthony Carrigan, Barry Tony Hale, Veep Stephen Root, Barry Tony Shalhoub, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Henry Winkler, Barry

GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY Jane Lynch, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Sandra Oh, Saturday Night Live Maya Rudolph, The Good Place Kristin Scott Thomas, Fleabag Fiona Shaw, Fleabag Emma Thompson, Saturday Night Live

GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY Matt Damon, Saturday Night Live Robert de Niro, Saturday Night Live Luke Kirby, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Peter MacNicol, Veep John Mulaney, Saturday Night Live Adam Sandler, Saturday Night Live Rufus Sewell, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

LIMITED SERIES Chernobyl Escape at Dannemora Fosse/Verdon Sharp Objects When They See Us

MADE-FOR-TELEVISION MOVIE Bandersnatch: Black Mirror Brexit Deadwood: The Movie King Lear My Dinner With Hervé

LEAD ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE Amy Adams, Sharp Objects Patricia Arquette, Escape at Dannemora Aunjanue Ellis, When They See Us Joey King, The Act Niecy Nash, When They See Us Michelle Williams, Fosse/Verdon

LEAD ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE Mahershala Ali, True Detective Benecio del Toro, Escape at Dannemora Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal Jared Harris, Chernobyl Jharrel Jerome, When They See Us Sam Rockwell, Fosse/Verdon

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE Patricia Arquette, The Act Marsha Stephanie Blake, When They See Us Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects Vera Farmiga, When They See Us Margaret Qualley, Fosse/Verdon Emily Watson, Chernobyl

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A LIMITED SERIES OR MOVIE Asante Blackk, When They See Us Paul Dano, Escape at Dannemora John Leguizamo, When They See Us Stellan Skarsgard, Chernobyl Ben Whishaw, A Very English Scandal Michael K Williams, When They See Us

REALITY SHOW HOST James Corden, The World’s Best Ellen DeGeneres, Ellen’s Game Of Games Marie Kondo, Tidying Up With Marie Kondo Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman, Making It RuPaul, RuPaul’s Drag Race

REALITY SHOW COMPETITION The Amazing Race American Ninja Warrior Nailed It! RuPaul’s Drag Race Top Chef The Voice

VARIETY SKETCH SERIES At Home With Amy Sedaris Documentary Now! Drunk History I Love You, America With Sarah Silverman Saturday Night Live Who Is America?

VARIETY TALK SERIES The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Full Frontal With Samantha Bee Jimmy Kimmel Live Last Week Tonight With John Oliver The Late Late Show With James Corden The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

OUTSTANDING VARIETY SPECIAL (PRE-RECORDED) Carpool Karaoke: When Corden Met McCartney Live From Liverpool Hannah Gadsby: Nanette Homecoming: A Film By Beyoncé Springsteen on Broadway Wanda Sykes: Not Normal

The post <em>Schitt’s Creek</em> Gets Its First Emmy Nods, and Other Highlights From This Year’s Nominations appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

Schitt’s Creek Gets Its First Emmy Nods, and Other Highlights From This Year’s Nominations published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

[junker-town]

2018 college football coach hiring *and* firing grades, updated

Let’s keep track as the coaching carousel spins or whatever.

Below, brief notes on each FBS head coaching change, along with an INSTA GRADE. The difference: let’s also grade the firing part as well. Why should only hirings get graded? Onward.

Note: I’m not factoring buyouts here. You’re probably paying him too much to leave. That’s your boosters’ problem, not mine.

Akron

Terry Bowden firing grade: C. Better have a high-upside replacement. He led two of Akron’s three bowl trips and only bowl win, and a four-win base line is basically Akron’s historical norm. It sounds like everyone just got tired of things.

Tom Arth hiring grade: B-. This is a really interesting hire. His 9-13 record as Chattanooga head coach wasn’t much, but he went 40-8 at previously mediocre John Carroll in Division III, where he also played. He’s only 37, but has spent almost all of his life within about an hour of Akron.

Appalachian State

Scott Satterfield left for Louisville.

Eli Drinkwitz hiring grade: A (be advised I’m handing out lots of As this time around). The NC State offensive coordinator ran a good group in Raleigh, has a good rep among coaches, and has experience both in the state (obviously) and Sun Belt.

Bowling Green

Mike Jinks firing grade: A. At some MAC schools, you might as well just stick with whoever you have. But BGSU had won pretty consistently under four straight coaches before its former AD reportedly Googled his way to a poor fit, both geographically and experience-wise.

Scott Loeffler hiring grade: D. He’s only been an OC, so let’s look at his offenses: as he’s coached four different teams, his offenses have ranked Nos. 32, 73, 91, 94, 72, 124, 101, and 95 in opponent-adjusted S&P+. The old joke about the majority of his resume being “was Tom Brady’s position coach at Michigan” seems to still apply.

Central Michigan

John Bonamego firing grade: B. CMU wasn’t supposed to be good this year, and he led three solid seasons, but — well — this was the worst season in program history. Considering how hard it is to hire well in the MAC, I think I would’ve given him a chance to prove this was a fluke, but I get it.

Jim McElwain hiring grade: B. Hey, you got a two-time recent SEC East champ in the MAC! Nevermind how strangely his Florida tenure ended. Also nevermind how bad the SEC East was. He’s spent the season since making connections as a Michigan assistant and has coached at Michigan State before.

Charlotte

Brad Lambert firing grade: A. It was time for the architect to move on. A startup jumping to FBS is never easy.

Will Healy hiring grade: A. I mean, he had a winning season at the somewhat nearby Austin Peay. That’s basically impossible.

Colorado

Mike MacIntyre firing grade: C+. Building 10-win teams at San Jose State and Colorado is hard ... but what’s he done over the last decade if you take out those two years? CU’s good year didn’t feel especially sustainable, considering how senior-heavy that team was.

Mel Tucker hiring grade: B. Well, the Georgia defensive coordinator led one of college football’s best units for three years and was in demand, being considered for jobs like UNC’s. There’s the question of how his experience will translate to the West, in a state where a former UGA coordinator is struggling at Colorado State. But there’s no particular reason to doubt he can build decent teams.

East Carolina

Scottie Montgomery firing grade: A. This had been a simple call for about two months. A school that’d recently been to eight bowls in nine years had gone 9-26 under Montgomery at the time of firing.

Mike Houston hiring grade: A. He’s the only FCS national champion head coach from somewhere other than North Dakota State since 2010, a North Carolina native, and career-long Mid-Atlantic vet. Do we hand out bonus points for ECU stealing him from Charlotte or demerits for Houston apparently breaking a verbal with Charlotte? Let’s call it even.

Georgia Tech

Paul Johnson retired.

Geoff Collins hiring grade: A. He’ll try to make Georgia Tech feel like modern Atlanta’s college football team. That’s a tall task, when you already have Migos rooting for UGA, but it’s long overdue.

Houston

Major Applewhite firing grade: C- by conventional metrics, but I’m gonna give this one a T for Texas. Because firing a coach after two winning seasons is stupendously Texas-y.

Kansas

David Beaty firing grade: B+. KU improved during the first-time head coach’s four years, but not that much. More importantly, things don’t look that much better going forward than they did when he showed up.

Les Miles hiring grade: C+ for now, because the expectations matter greatly. Is Miles’ primary task to stabilize the program and set it up for a young innovator? In a weird way, Miles’ beloved gritball might be an underdog tactic in the wide-open Big 12 (see: some of Kansas State’s best recent teams), but he needs to show he’s willing to evolve his Schembechler-ian tendencies.

Kansas State

Bill Snyder retired again.

Chris Klieman hiring grade: A. Some K-State fans don’t like the idea of hiring an FCS coach whom the AD already knew. Counterpoint: North Dakota State would’ve beaten Kansas State in Manhattan this year — again. There’s reason to wonder if this will work, but that’s the case with ANY HIRE ANYWHERE. Stop dissing FCS, and keep this in mind: a former Division III coach just led Buffalo’s best season ever. That’s a way bigger jump than Klieman is making.

Liberty

Turner Gill retired.

Hugh Freeze hiring grade: lololololol of course

Louisville

Bobby Petrino firing grade: A+! Lamar Jackson evidently covered up even more warts than we realized, the program was crumbling all around Petrino, and there’s an ideal replacement who won’t necessarily be available next time around.

Scott Satterfield hiring grade: A. The Appalachian State head coach had one of the best teams in college football, period. He’s not Jeff Brohm, but so what? He’s a fantastic second option. Give him time to clean up Petrino’s mess.

Maryland

D.J. Durkin firing grade: Far more serious things than football to consider here, so not playing around with grades on this one.

Mike Locksley hiring grade: No grade on this either, because this is a complicated one.

Miami

Mark Richt retired.

North Carolina

Larry Fedora firing grade: B. He had really rough roster situations for the last two years and led UNC’s best season this millennium, but winning five games in two years against mediocre schedules ain’t getting it done.

Mack Brown hiring grade: C-, until he shows Texas’ six or so down years were a big fluke. He was UNC’s second or third best coach ever before becoming Texas’ second best coach ever, but his last really good team was 11 seasons before his first at UNC. Unlike Kansas, UNC clearly had more encouraging options.

Ohio State

Urban Meyer retired.

Ryan Day hiring grade: B. The Ohio State OC’s side of the ball was the reason the Buckeyes won the Big Ten this year. He’s only 39, and this is one of the biggest jobs in all of football, but it appears he led the team capably during Meyer’s three-game suspension. Continuity is nice, as long as he’s ready to make significant staff changes on defense.

Temple

Geoff Collins left for Georgia Tech.

Manny Diaz hiring grade: A. He was responsible for the only thing the Canes were good at, has been a smart and elite defensive coordinator for years, and should be able to bring some Florida athletes to Philly. My only real concern as Temple would be the Miami head job possibly opening in the next few years, but that’s down the road.

Texas State

Everett Withers firing grade: B. Wins had yet to arrive, with only seven in his three years at a school that joined FBS in 2012, and Withers’ personality wasn’t a great fit, but at least recruiting was going well. Withers clearly never should’ve left JMU for this job.

Jake Spavital hiring grade: B+. Lots of relevant experience in the area and air raid roots that should be popular in Texas and stand out somewhat in the Sun Belt.

Texas Tech

Kliff Kingsbury firing grade: A. Yeah, five straight years of losing the exact same way and producing .500-ish seasons at a school that would prefer its Mike Leach records is gonna get a person fired. Both parties should better succeed apart.

Matt Wells hiring grade: A. The geographic fit isn’t perfect, but other than that? Wells was head coach or coordinator for Utah State’s three best seasons since the 1960s, and could’ve had even more than that if not for rotten injury luck during the middle of his time there. Per Steven Godfrey in the offseason, other coaches believed Wells would get it turned back around.

UMass

Mark Whipple firing grade: A. Five years with nothing better than 4-8 is an easy call. Amid significant roster turnover, this sets up as a fresh rebuild.

Walt Bell hiring grade: C+. The former Arkansas State, Maryland, and Florida State OC has minimal ties to the Northeast and is only 34, but will surely strive to oversee an offense more creative than the one the Noles put together this year.

Utah State

Matt Wells left for Texas Tech.

Gary Andersen hiring grade: Well, A, I guess! Worked out great the last time.

Western Kentucky

Mike Sanford firing grade: C. A 9-16 record is a clear step down from Jeff Brohm’s three straight bowl wins. But canning a previously up-and-coming coach after just two years at a school that’s still a C-USA newbie suggests he was clearly way in over his head. Do four one-score losses in 2018 and two comfortable wins to finish the season support that? Hard to say from afar.

Tyson Helton hiring grade: C. He has basically the same resume as Sanford and wasn’t exactly on the rise at Tennessee. If there’s a secret reason he’s a significantly better choice than Sanford, tremendous.

This post will be updated after each FBS head coaching move.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, November 23

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeff Bridges opens up about the fight of his life 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Lori Loughlin’s life behind bars -- Lori’s been having a hard time adjusting to her new reality

Page 6: The holiday season will look a little different for Prince Harry this year -- originally the plan was for Harry to travel to England around Christmastime and Meghan Markle reluctantly agreed though she was far from happy with the idea but now with new travel restrictions in place due to Covid-19 she’s told him there’s no way they’re leaving California which is crushing for Harry who was looking forward to spending the holidays with the royals especially since he missed out last year and he’s been horribly homesick these last few months and he misses the holiday traditions he grew up with even though he loves his life in America with Meghan and son Archie 

Page 7: Newly single Kelly Clarkson has been swooning over country crooner Brett Eldredge her collaborator on the flirty new Christmas tune Under the Mistletoe -- they spent lots of time together in the studio and on the phone and really bonded while they were cutting this sexy song, Brad Pitt’s most recent ex-girlfriend Nicole Poturalski has started talking to friends about what happened between them in detail and it’s an embarrassing mess for Brad who prides himself on privacy, after 16 seasons as colleagues and sparring BFFs on The Voice Adam Levine and Blake Shelton are besties no more because there was a lot of talk between them about keeping in touch and hanging out after Adam left the show but amid lingering tensions neither has made an effort and Adam may not even be invited when Blake marries Gwen Stefani

Page 8: Ever since Sofia Richie split for good from Scott Disick she’s been out every night with some really shady types to the dismay of her dad Lionel Richie who is not liking what he’s hearing about her partying and dating habits -- Sofia has already jumped into a new relationship with Cha Cha Matcha founder Matthew Morton and is hanging nonstop with his crew -- Lionel thought breaking free from Scott would mean a calmer life but it just sees like she’s gone off the rails, Betty White is already gearing up to celebrate her 99th birthday in January with a low-key yet reverent bash, she’s been linked to several Hollywood hunks of late but Lily James just wants her old beau back and she’s regretting breaking off her five-year relationship with Matt Smith -- since the split she’s been linked to Dominic West and Armie Hammer and Chris Evans and the onslaught has only made her miss Matt more -- Matt’s always had her back and Lily knows she made a mistake letting him go but Matt feels duped regarding all the rumors about her and other guys but she swears nothing happened and that she misses him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars wow in romantic ruffled gowns -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst 

Page 11: Lupita Nyong’o, Halsey 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Renee Bargh vs. Alessandra Ambrosio

Page 14: News In Photos -- Paris Jackson posed for a portrait in Beverly Hills days before releasing her debut solo album 

Page 15: Adam Brody with his newborn son in Malibu, pregnant Jinger Duggar stepped out in Venice with husband Jeremy Vuolo and their daughter Felicity for lunch, Lady Gaga on stage at a drive-in concert in Pittsburgh 

Page 16: Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell headed out for brunch with one of their twin daughters in Encino, Camila Cabello held on tight to one of her three pups while chasing another one who escaped from his leash in Miami, Pierce Brosnan playing golf in Hawaii 

Page 18: DJ Diplo took a dip in the ocean in Miami, John Legend took his Ford Mustang out for a spin with wife Chrissy Teigen and one of their dogs in Beverly Hills 

Page 19: Bella Thorne and boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo in Rome, Scott Disick was Ace Ventura for Halloween in L.A. 

Page 20: Ruff Life -- stars show love for their canine companions -- Ariel Winter and her latest rescue Cobey, Jamie Chung and her dog, soccer star Alex Morgan with her dogs Kona and Blue 

Page 21: Nev Schulman cuddled up with Dancing With the Stars partner Jenna Johnson’s dog Ziggy, PLEASE ADOPT, DON’T SHOP  

Page 22: Shawn Mendes on a walk in Miami, Kate Mara stopped by Target with her daughter, Ellen DeGeneres dressed up as a nurse who is her favorite superhero 

Page 24: Skai Jackson headed to rehearsals for Dancing With the Stars, Elizabeth Lyn Vargas of Real Housewives of Orange County gave a tour of her home, Joe Jonas strolling daughter Willa around the neighborhood 

Page 25: Thomas Brodie-Sangster attended the premiere of Stardust a biopic about David Bowie in London, Donnie Wahlberg and Steve Schirripa filmed a scene for Blue Bloods in Brooklyn 

Page 26: Taking over duties from Prince Harry his stepmother Duchess Camilla arrived at the Field of Remembrance to commemorate those who lost their lives in the armed forces in London, Amber Heard enjoyed a hike with her dog in L.A., Renee Elisa Goldsberry and Sara Bareilles and Paula Pell and Busy Philipps filmed a scene for Tina Fey’s upcoming series Girls5Eva in NYC 

Page 27: Offset delivered free food to voters waiting in line on Election Day, Ciara in Seattle 

Page 28: Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have finally become husband and wife in a low-key ceremony in the backyard of their L.A. home with just a handful of family and close friends like Steve Carell and Emma Stone were in attendance -- Ryan wore jeans with a button-down shirt while Eva wore a red dress from her own collection -- now that the party’s over Eva and Ryan have been talking about having a third child

Page 29: Reality hit Love Is Blind hooked viewers with its OMG premise but the show’s married cohosts Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey were decidedly less riveting and their presenting style was laughably wooden and stiff and while the duo is slated to return for the show’s second season Nick and Vanessa have been put on notice to spice it up, Tori Spelling is freaking out at the prospect of her husband Dean McDermott spending six months alone in Toronto which is the same town where he cheated on her seven years ago -- Dean has signed on to star in Canadian TV show Lady Dicks and while Tori should be thrilled that that he’ll be bringing in some income for their often-struggling family of seven she is preparing for the worst 

Page 30: While it appears Nina Dobrev and Shaun White have spent 2020 in hardcore flirt mode Nina’s friends have cautioned that this is a dead-end romance because Shaun shows up and posts pictures of them on social media but the fact is they’ve barely spent any time together and they hook up and then he goes back to his own place -- Shaun rarely invites Nina to either of his two Hollywood Hills pads and is proving his flaky reputation is legit, things are looking up for parents-to-be Kit Harington and Rose Leslie after a rocky start to their marriage the two are finally in a happy place -- Kit has stopped boozing and this baby has put a fire under him to be more accommodating and besides helping update and baby-proof the couple’s 15th century countryside manor Kit’s been more attentive to Rose in every way, Love Bites -- Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi split, Maya Erskine and Michael Angarano are engaged and expecting, Ashlee Simpson welcomed her second child with husband Evan Ross 

Page 32: Cover Story -- Jeff Bridges: I’m not giving up -- how the beloved star is coping during his brave health battle 

Page 36: Katherine Heigl why she disappeared -- the reason Katherine walked away from the spotlight ad how she found her way back 

Page 38: Home Alone turns 30 -- in honor of the holiday classic’s milestone anniversary secrets and trivia about the movie and its stars 

Page 40: Feel the Burn -- fitness fanatic Morgan Coleman is here to take your home workout up a notch 

Page 42: Healthy Holidays -- how stars stay fit and feeling their best during the festive season 

Page 46: Style Week -- Olivia Culpo has teamed up with her siblings on an exclusive collection for Macy’s 

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- Madewell wants you to Make Weekends Longer with its new sustainable MWL collection 

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Drew Barrymore 

Page 50: Dress the Halls -- festive pieces to rock through the holidays even if you’re celebrating at home -- AnnaSophia Robb 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 55: Q&A -- Jake Tyson

Page 58: Buzz -- Just weeks after Kim Kardashian West was slammed over her 40th birthday bash Kendall Jenner received similar criticism for throwing a jam-packed soiree for her 25th birthday 

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Cameron Diaz on having a baby at 47, Conan O’Brien on the props that were stolen from his late-night set, Sacha Baron Cohen joking that he and his wife Isla Fisher are not A-listers, Anne Hathaway on the embarrassing ways she handled the lockdown 

Page 61: Florence Pugh on her close relationship with her Black Widow costar Scarlett Johansson, Christine Quinn on not being bothered by negative comments, Chelsea Handler on crushing on New York governor Andrew Cuomo 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Lisa Bonet turned 53 on November 16 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Colin Jost

#tabloid #grain of salt #tabloid toc #tabloidtoc #jeff bridges #lily james #matt smith #kit harington #rose leslie #colin jost #katherine heigl #home alone #jake tyson #lori loughlin #prince harry #meghan markle #kelly clarkson #brett eldredge #brad pitt #nicole poturalski #adam levine #blake shelton #lionel richie #sofia richie #betty white #who wore it better? #eva mendes #ryan gosling #nick lachey #vanessa lachey

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Transformers: Unicron, Optimus Prime, Rom & The Micronauts, My Little Pony, Sonic the Hedgehog, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and more! All coming your way for April 18th!

OPTIMUS PRIME #17

John Barber (A/CVR A) Kei Zama (CVR B) Casey Coller

“The Falling,” Part 3: Onyx Prime sows the seeds of chaos and panic on Cybertron as he reveals dark secrets… but nothing will prepare Optimus Prime and his allies for Onyx’s darkest revelation!

GOOSEBUMPS MONSTERS AT MIDNIGHT HC

Jeremy Lambert (A/CVR) Chris Fenoglio

The kid-friendly horror series that defined a decade returns to comics! Readers beware, you’re in for a scare!

Brave the spine-tingling world of R.L. Stine to uncover the thrills and chills of the first ever Goosebumps comic series to feature original stories! Kicking things off is a new creepy carousel spin on HorrorLand! When Mia and Ginny go to stay at their Grandma’s mothball-filled house for the summer, boredom forces them to venture out into her tiny town. But, soon, what appears to be a dusty used bookstore plunges them into an upside-down world of terror!

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #3

Ian Flynn (A/CVR B) Jen Hernandez (CVR A) Tyson Hesse

Sonic and Knuckles team up, and it’s just like old times-until two new villains show up. With a group of villagers under attack, will even the combined forces of these two heroes be enough to take down Rough and Tumble???

STAR TREK BOLDLY GO #18

Mike Johnson (A/CVR A) Josh Hood (CVR B) Eoin Marron

“I.D.I.C.” Part 6 of 6! It’s the series finale of Star Trek: Boldly Go, and the climactic final chapter of the epic “I.D.I.C.” saga! James Tiberius Kirk faces the greatest challenge of his life… and the fate of infinite realities hangs in the balance!

STAR TREK DISCOVERY SUCCESSION #1

Mike Johnson, Kirsten Beyer (A/CVR A) Angel Hernandez

In this, the second Discovery miniseries from IDW Publishing, your favorite characters from the hit CBS All Access series dive into an adventure tied directly into the second half of the first season!

STAR WARS ADVENTURES ANNUAL 2018

John Jackson Miller (A/CVR) Jon Sommariva

With Leia injured, it’s up to Luke to undertake a sensitive diplomatic mission with the easily-irritated Sarkans! What should be a routine meeting soon turns into an action-packed adventure with the fate of the galaxy on the line!

TMNT UNIVERSE #21

Paul Allor (A/CVR B) Mark Torres (CVR A) Freddie Williams II

Find out what became of the Triceratons after the Invasion! Will they get along with their new neighbors or become the first victims of a new villain?

DUCKTALES #8

Joe Caramagna (A) Antonello Dalena, Andrea Greppi, Gianfranco Florio, Michela Frare, Luca Usai (CVR A&B) Marco Ghiglione

Scrooge finally finds someone he trusts to run his business while he’s out adventuring: Manny, the Headless Man-Horse! Mrs. Beakley is called back into spy duty by British Intelligence, but when she isn’t available, she’s replaced by Webby and Lena Le Strange!

UNCLE SCROOGE #34

Vito Stabile, Joe Torcivia, Daan Jippes (A) Alessandro Perina, Daan Jippes (CVR A) Marco Mazarello

“The Wonderful Wishing Crown!” It’s an all-new, epic-length adventure for Scrooge McDuck’s big 70th anniversary! When a bewitched treasure strands Scrooge with fiendish pirates and a long-lost member of the Clan McDuck-who gets to walk the plank first? •   Continues this beloved series’ legacy numbering at #438! •   Dive into an extra-length birthday issue featuring fan favorite creators Alessandro Perina (“Scrooge’s Last Adventure”) and Daan Jippes!

  Join the IDW Hasbro Shared Universe related conversation here in our Comics Discussion and Reviews section and here for all other franchises, superheroes, or general comic book discussions! Not a member? Join our community by creating your own free account here! Or jump right into the live chat on our Discord server!

IDW Comics Shipping List for April 18th! It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like 

#Comic Book #Diamond Shipping List #Disney #IDW Publishing #Optimus Prime #Sonic the Hedgehog #TF #Transformers

[ralphmorgan-blog1]

If you don’t follow Will Smith on Instagram yet, you’re missing out

Image: Getty Images for AFI

If you ask me, there was only one good thing to come out of social media in 2017 and it came with three weeks to spare. 

It wasn't the tide pod craze, it wasn't Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's strange flight, and it wasn't the drama involving the royal wedding's guest list either — it was Willard Carroll "Will" Smith Jr. and his brand new, fresh out the box Instagram account. It's perfect in every way, and if 2018 keeps going the way it is, it might just be the best thing about this year too. 

SEE ALSO: Will Smith finally addresses those 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' reunion rumours

The beloved Smith has always discussed why he's grateful he didn't come up in the time of timelines and avatars. "Fortunately, most of my career, I was shielded from that level of scrutiny. There actually was privacy. There was actually the ability to create mystery," he told The Hollywood Reporter in 2015. 

That level of mystery dissipates when you've reached the god-like status of the Smith and his family, and either transforms into a well-oiled, PR-fueled life (with an Instagram account to match) or nothing at all, a là Leonardo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt. (Side note: imagine how beautiful the world would be if Meryl Streep had an Instagram account.) 

But sometimes, famous faces bless us all with Very Good Celebrity Instagram accounts (ie., Tina Knowles, Chris Pratt, and Drake — the king of hilarious Instagram captions). Thank goodness Smith falls into the second category. 

There are a few key things that make a celebrity Instagram account good: self-deprecation, behind-the-scenes access, and quality throwbacks — and the Fresh Prince passes all of these tests with flying colors. 

Exhibit A: the ugly holiday sweaters, worn with pride and disbelief at the audacity of Jada for making the family be festive. 

Somebody Please Help! Jada makes us wear these Ugly Ass Sweaters for Christmas... She’s Doin’ Too Much! And she’s just gettin’ Started. Stay Tuned... More to Come

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 24, 2017 at 4:58pm PST

Then there's the reading glasses. Your beloved favorite actor is getting old, folks, but he isn't afraid to show it off. Weak eyes but make it fashion. 

Damn... I just had to get Reading Glasses! This is NOT the look of an Action Hero!

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 29, 2017 at 4:36pm PST

In the brief time he's been at this, he's managed to let us in on some wholesome family fun. Still can't believe we ever lived without knowing the lengths the Smith family goes to manifest the holiday spirit. 

It’s crazy out here in these Christmas streets

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 24, 2017 at 9:33pm PST

His behind-the-scenes work is what debuted on the 'gram first, thanks to Ellen DeGeneres, who filled the void in our heart by instigating the birth of his account. The only thing better than pre-cut interview previews that tease us is pictures with the queen of celebrity selfies. 

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 14, 2017 at 5:46am PST

All of this is fun and games, but there's something that Smith does that even the greatest of them, like The Rock, can't do. 

As a man who has been in the spotlight for so long, Smith has racked up a thrilling rolodex of friends and lucky for us, he isn't shy about shouting them out for their birthdays or just because. So far we've got some quality throwbacks of Jaime Foxx and Denzel Washington. That's two heavyweights in less than a month. Who knows what other ageless face we'll witness next. Isn't this thrilling?!

May 20, 2010. We all produced a play together on Broadway called FELA. It was about the late Nigerian Artist / Activist Fela Anikulapo Kuti. We were nominated for 11 Tony Awards!!! Look up FELA. His life was DEEP! #tbt

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Jan 4, 2018 at 12:41pm PST

Happy 50th @iamjamiefoxx, much love. #tbt

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 21, 2017 at 11:42am PST

Despite the seemingly authentic nature of it all, Smith's PR people would probably be mad if a couple plugs weren't thrown in the feed, even if Bright isn't that great of a film. The best of them, however, do it with grace and humor instead of pumping out well airbrushed film stills and clips from talk shows to their followers who are bound to see those things elsewhere, regardless. 

Yep definitely my seed

A post shared by Will Smith (@willsmith) on Dec 16, 2017 at 3:17am PST

But really, it's not just me who feels this way. Everyone is in love with Will Smith's Instagram account. 

3 weeks in and Will Smith has the best instagram already.

— Robin (@thyrobin) January 3, 2018

ever since will smith made an ig instagram has improved 300% at the very least

— johnzelle walker (@johnzellewalker) January 5, 2018

I cannot stress it enough but everyone gotta follow Will Smith on instagram.

— Commander¥en (@Domyenn) December 31, 2017

Will Smith joining Instagram has single-handedly improved my social media experience.

— Adrienne 🌶 (@YoAdriBaby) December 27, 2017

All that to say, thank you Ellen. Thank you @kevin. And thank you, Will, for letting us into your life one double-tap-heart at a time. 

WATCH: Neil DeGrasse Tyson explains what 'shoot for the moon' actually means

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  If you don’t follow Will Smith on Instagram yet, you’re missing out was originally posted by A 18 MOA Top News from around

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Happened last week was a total hate job, he said Wednesday about website LAist, which first reported the comments. Blogger twisted my words into a convenient click based story. Everyone ran around screaming and shouting that I was a racist and even people on my staff, they believed the blogger.

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Listen To 'Welcome To My Life', The Title Song From Chris Brown's Documentary | Chris Brown

Chris Brown is giving fans an intimate look inside his life for the first time ever. Now more than ever, I can't help but look at Justin Bieber's success and think, This could have been you, Chris Brown. Chris Brown had a premiere party in L.A. on Tuesday night for his new documentary Welcome To My Life which has been in the works for over a year. Justin Bieber's alleged assault on a photographer at the weekend has been blamed on his close relationships with known violent characters Chris Brown, Floyd Mayweather Jr and Mike Tyson.

His legal drama has seen no end over the past few years and it is the subject of his new documentary, Chris Brown: Welcome to my Life, set to release today. Former Duke guard Luke Kennard took a break from preparing for the NBA Draft to appear on the Kent Sterling Radio Show for CBS Sports. Move over LeBron James and Steph Curry; some hip-hop all-stars are coming through to show off their skills at the BET Experience Celebrity Basketball Game later this month.Artists who confirmed that they would be playing include #Chris Brown, The Game, YG, Nick Cannon, DJ Mustard, Joey Bada$$, Soulja Boy, Jidenna, Amine, Dave East, Bell Biv DeVoe, Rotimi and Trevor Jackson. Her hair had been styled up into a ballerina bun on top of her head, with a feathery white scrunchy wrapped around it like a halo.

Brown has amazed us with his talents and baffled us with his bizarre and sometimes violent behavior. Sprite will be the main sponsor of the match.Duke women's golfer Leona Maguire becomes the first ever two-time ANNIKA Award winner for the most outstanding college golfer. Chris Brown went from being a beloved pop star to a villain overnight, after he assaulted Rihanna.

#Chris Brown

[buddyrabrahams]

5 NBA players with the most to prove this postseason

No more stat watching, no more tanking, no more maintenance days — the NBA playoffs are officially upon us. Greatness or social media derision is basketball’s new binary, and there’s shockingly little room for a middle ground. So with nearly half of the league’s teams already off fishing, the old adage of “win or go home.”

Though it is a watered-down cliché, that adage creates some very real pressure: that lump-of-coal-into-a-diamond pressure, that hopes-and-dreams-of-an-entire-fanbase pressure, that ouch-right-in-the-legacy pressure, that I-ain’t-finna-be-Photoshopped-and-mocked-by-snot-nosed-millennials-on-Twitter-dot-com pressure.

And here are the five players who most need to step up and thrive under that pressure this postseason. Some of them are already leading in their first-round series, while others have to get on the comeback trail.

5. Chris Paul, Los Angeles Clippers

It’s truly a shame that the best pure point guard of this generation appears destined to be remembered as little more than every Mike Tyson opponent in the 1980s: out by the second round. The clock is ticking for the soon-to-be 32-year-old Paul as he can opt out of his contract and become an unrestricted free agent in the summer, all but guaranteeing that this postseason for the Clippers may very well be General Rivers’ Last Stand.

Another premature playoff exit could spell the end of Lob City as we know it. Faced with the prospects of his own free agency and that of longtime running mate Blake Griffin, perhaps Paul would be intrigued by extending his closing championship window and joining Gregg Popovich’s Wonder Emporium in San Antonio. Maybe he would even consider coming home to New Orleans and burying the hatchet with archrival DeMarcus Cousins to help form the greatest five-eyebrowed trio in professional sporting history.

To avoid this darkest of timelines, the Clippers will have to pull off some magic in the next few weeks. The Utah Jazz are a force, with or without Rudy Gobert. If they can get past Utah, death by 40,000 splashes seemingly awaits at the hands of the impenetrable Golden State Warriors in the semifinal series.

Does Paul have one final playoff rampage left in him before his time in Los Angeles presumably comes to a close? We’ll all be sweating through our dress shirts like Steve Ballmer waiting to find out. Getting off to an 0-1 start sure didn’t help.

4. Isaiah Thomas, Boston Celtics

Thomas enters the postseason with a heavy heart after the devastating news over the weekend that his 22-year-old sister Chyna perished in a car accident. Nobody would have blamed the All-Star guard if he had immediately left the team to be with his family. But in a remarkable display of strength, Thomas not only played in Game 1 against the Chicago Bulls but also posted his second-highest career playoff scoring total with 33 points. He will also apparently suit up for the Celtics in Game 2 on Tuesday before flying home to Tacoma.

Before the tragedy struck, Thomas’ postseason was about silencing his critics: those who clowned his defense, those who wrote him off as a true No. 1 option because of his height, and those who inundated us with hot takes about how his iso-heavy style was bound to be exposed once the stakes got high. But now, it’s about so much more than just basketball. We’re all pulling for you, IT.

3. Russell Westbrook, Oklahoma City Thunder

God bless our beloved basketball maniac. After a historic individual season in which he successfully recorded the chase-down block on Oscar Robertson and single-handedly entered the term “triple-double” into the international lexicon, Westbrook now has a whole new beast to slay.

The only statistic that matters in the postseason is wins, and our Brodie who art in heaven is gonna have to rack them up in bunches to legitimize his legend in the eyes of the non-believers. Bow out in the first round, and we’ll have to endure an entire summer of talking heads on AM radio spewing out false equivalencies about the integrity of team-first basketball winning out over the tyranny of stat-padding. We’ll hear the phrase “can never be the guy on a true contender” until our eardrums rupture, and we’ll feel cheated when a stank-faced Westbrook inevitably accepts the Most Valuable Player Award at the end of a Finals series that he couldn’t have possibly been further from.

Forget that. Let my point-Godzilla have his 2001 Allen Iverson run. Let his cauldron of rage boil over until even the Larry O’Brien Trophy melts under the heat of his fiery roar. And may Neptune have mercy on the souls of anybody who dares to stand in his way. I’m ready, baby.

2. LeBron James, Cleveland Cavaliers

Objective slander of The King died last June, legend has it at the very moment that he pinned Andre Iguodala’s weak-sauce layup attempt against the backboard in a cold-blooded and vulgar display of power. But while coming back from a 3-1 deficit against a 73-win team in the NBA Finals to deliver the city of Cleveland its first championship in a hot jubilee guaranteed James basketball immortality until the end of days, the job is far from complete.

Having liberated Ohio from that longstanding sports purgatory, James is now free to set his sights on the “greatest of all-time” throne. And with his three NBA titles representing only half of the total won by that ghost in Chicago, the four-time MVP should have all the motivation he needs.

Contextual evidence does suggest it will be much more of an uphill climb this time around — Cleveland’s 51 wins were the fewest by a James-led team since 2007-08 (excluding the lockout-shortened 2011-12 season), and a champion with a bottom-10 defense like the Cavs had this year would be utterly unprecedented. So all this talk about flipping LeSwitch come playoff time and activating Zero Dark Thirty mode?

Show me, don’t tweet me, King James.

1. Kevin Durant, Golden State Warriors

The Durantula knew from the very start when he took the #HardestRoad to live out his next chapter in the Silicon Valley that it would be championship or bust. To his credit, the 60 or so regular season games we got from him this year seemed to reflect that — 25-8-5 with career-highs in efficiency and borderline-elite rim protection as his leveled-up Warriors proved every bit as toxic as we had originally surmised. Then, a large Georgian man named Zaza flattened Durant’s knee and knocked him out of action for over a month, causing us to forget just how preposterous this team could be at full capacity.

But the calendar has turned to April, and the title push has begun on the strength of a once-more-healthy Durant, who thirsts for the violent death of all your petty cupcake jokes.

This has unequivocally become Golden State’s championship to lose, and not even the Based God Curse can threaten their livelihood. Win and become untouchable; lose and get dunked on by Crying Jordan.

Class is now in session, Mr. Durant, and that target on your back isn’t going away until you get those 16 victories.

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