#choosing happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

desroundtree · 1 year

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When it’s time to move on, things always flood the surface - emotions, anxiety, relief. It’s always something that fills the space of what it means to move on.

Boundaries - setting and keeping them - has always been a ritual of moving on for me. When you set a boundary, a real one that removes the issues from your life, it encourages your brain to move on. Not only from the situation but from the person or thing that dragged you there in the first place.

The month of March has been hard for me in the boundary space of my life. I have had to dig my heels in for me and choose my long term happiness versus what would have made other people happy or comfortable. But the issue is and will always be - boundaries can hurt to hold and keep.

The last two months have been some of the most trying emotional times I have had that weren’t related directly to my health. I was hurt in ways I never thought possible by and for people I never thought would have a hand in my tears. Not as purposely or vindictively as my feelings were trashed.

Should I have lashed out? Maybe. Possibly. In the moment it would have made me, and all my friends, feel better. But the exhaustion that comes along with the acceptance that people are hurting you on purpose is kind of unexplainable. It ushers you to the space of giving up a lot easier, I can definitely tell you that.

My reaction now to what has happened and what has been allowed to happen, will be frowned upon as well. But my reaction is that, a reaction to something that has been done to me. And you can’t police people’s reactions so the space I exist in now is one that understands and stands in the light.

If you do, you get done to.

But even if I know that, it doesn’t make it easier to hold my line. I know I don’t deserve half of what happens to me in life, being chronically ill has proven that to me clearly. If you have chosen to bring more pain, more confusion and inject more sadness and pain into my life - I have to learn to make my heart hurt less when I demand a life that doesn’t include that, or you.

In closing, it’s ok to choose you - even when it hurts. That pain exists in the place where the shackles that held you to the abuse for so long have been. Fill that space with things that don’t demand the constant and continuous sacrifice of what you deserve and demand to be happy.

You aren’t asking for much, I promise. It is what anyone in any healthy relationship deserves - don’t let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

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nezhanetwork · 8 months

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based on falseknees' comic :)

#happy three months in the fandom to meee! :D #grian #goodtimeswithscar #desert duo #hermitcraft #life series #3rd life #last life #double life #limited life #my art #i thought about grian and mumbo at first #but gtws and grian have a little bit more universes to choose from :)#← before you guys start asking about this

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gumdefense · 6 months

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We have moved past Maya and Franziska wingmanning narumitsu as a society. They would not fucking do that. We need to realise the truth which is that Larry and Gumshoe would try to wingman them and only succeed through failure

#ace attorney #narumitsu #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #maya fey #franziska von karma #dick gumshoe #larry butz #general my post tag #i do think maya would endlessly tease poor phoenix about it based on how she acted in 3-5 about iris #but she didn’t do anything to set them up she just made fun of phoenix #franziska would sooner choose death and run to another country herself than get anywhere near whatever’s going on between the two #larry however.#larry would be way too invested #once he actually realises his best friends are into each other he would never drop it #gumshoe wants to make edgeworth happy any way possible #and based on the “wright wright wright” scene #and that one moment in the anime where he cries bc the two were working together even countries apart during the train bomb case #i think he’d be very invested too #also a Larry and Gumshoe wingman duo would be absolutely disastrous. and hilarious #do you see my vision

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muffinsouffle · 25 days

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Choose your team!

And Happy Easter, everyone! And have a great day 💖

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #lmk macaque #lmk chang'e #lmk red son #my art #muffinsouffle's art #easter #artists on tumblr #comic #Although I would choose the three options (I'm indecisive)#happy easter

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whollyjoly · 20 days

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i want the whole SEASON of bucktommy

i want buck being wooed - flowers and being taken out and a little protective hand on the small of his back

i want to hear all the soft ways tommy can say evan and the look on buck's face when he does

i want to see them at tommy's karaoke trivia place because holy shit buck would love it (and didnt oliver say that we're getting buck singing this season cause uhhhhh)

i love that this is such a fling, such a happy thing for buck - he is finally feeling that puzzle piece click into place and it is freeing

and i cant wait to see all the small ways we see that play out!!!

let buck be happy challenge 2k24!!!!

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inkskinned · 1 year

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something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.

not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.

you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.

but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.

you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.

but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.

you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.

you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?

you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.

you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!

you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"

#this is very obviously about my battle with #ptsd #but i think it's also like a pretty apt metaphor for a lot of things like setting boundaries or going to therapy or choosing recovery #i was thinking about the 'comes back wrong' trope and i was like. oh no i have feelings about this bc i have mental illness #and once i stopped masking - i was WRONG. i was different #here's the good news: i am now INNUNDATED with love. fucking swimming in it. excelling at it. the people who stayed #learned my new self. my new different body and how i am different but i am trying. they have held me so tightly #and my life no longer feels quiet. it is not based in my suffering. it feels like i have been growing a tree in my chest #and now it is flowering.#it is so lovely to be surrounded by people who have said - oh! you cut off so many branches i was worried you weren't the same. but now...#... this is just a new you. and i love you. and i love that you're different and happy.#(but yeah also im nb so i was absolutely influenced by Trans things)

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petrichara · 9 months

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Trying to remember the last time I played hide and seek. The last time I said hi to everyone on the street or saw the girls I spent every day of six years with. The last time my dad picked me up, or my mum brushed my hair. When was the last time I dressed without consideration? There is so much to think about now. I remember falling on the grass at school and making stories with the clouds. Hanging upside down from the swing and realising how big the world was. I wonder on the path of growing when we stop feeling big. I am taller now, smaller still.

#growing up #girlhood #grief #I saw a childhood friend yesterday #she was working #and after twelve years of knowing her it had been a year #her hair is longer #her smile brighter #and the intense sincerity of the happiness we shared for one another was heavy and freeing all at once #I don’t know when we stopped playing #and I know life has gotten in the way #but at some point all our dreams became options #with the life I choose daily I am happy #and still #I wish we could go back once to when nothing mattered but how fast you could run #childhood friends #they know you even when you don’t know yourself #mine

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chernozemm · 8 months

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I need Aziraphale learning very quickly that being kind and considerate gets him nowhere in Heaven, so he tucks away his goofy, big-hearted nature and just turns into a maliciously compliant Bitch™.

This is a man who canonically has "discouraged" multiple mobster groups threatening to burn his bookshop, who has successfully scared hundreds of customers away by being just unpleasant enough and who dropped down three octaves to correct Furfur when he messed up his name.

He swallows his pride, puts on a power suit and starts executing a Corporate Nightmare upon upper management in Heaven.

#good omens #good omens 2 #aziraphale #season 3 #myart #he digs his heels and says oh youre gonna sabotage my vision?#i will read the entire terms and conditions of the ineffable plan and create so much paperwork for the second coming that you will wish #you were dead #oh you think i am a soft bitch who will flop belly up and be a puppet? let me disabuse you of this notion #it will be heartbreaking to see him lose his idealistic vision of Heaven and struggle to implement his own ideas because of the structural #issues #but i am also hoping we get to see this steel core he has mature #also sidenote-this change of looks isnt intended as a “glowup”. I love that he chooses to be happy and goofy and pudgy and radiant #its more like temporary armour

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cube-cumb3r · 1 year

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while im at it neopronoun opposition is weird to me as a swedish person.. the whole debate is so anglocentric that they assume every language landed on the same solution they did, to reuse a plural pronoun as a gender neutral one and then they think any other solution is absurd or unheard of. what do you mean you just made another pronoun up you cant do that!! etc

coz its like here in the 2014 the swedish academy accepted 3rd person pronoun "hen" (as opposed to hon/han) like officially into our word list after it gained some popularity in the 2010s. like that is a NEOPRONOUN that someone just Came Up With in like the 60s and then people just started using it and now its just a recognized part of our language. sure we could've also reused our plural pronoun "de/dem" as a gender neutral one but we just made up a new one instead. and to like imply that mainstream use of a neopronoun is just UNHEARD OF and that neopronouns is something the mainstream could NEVER GET USED TO EVER!!! is... your perspective is very limited to the english speaking world is all i can say

#now like it is pretty cool that the swedish academy did choose to include it in our word list even despite the conteoversy #because ofc there was conteoversy what do yoy MEAN youre CHANHING OUR LANGUAGE????#but like even if that disnt happen the word still gained lots of traction before that and started being used #like smth doeant have to be accepted by the mainstream nevessairly to be valid anyway #some ppl are happy even if only their friends and loved ones r the ones using their neopronouns #so like. bleh #q-rambl3 #sorry for the many gender rambles these past weeks #i see so much discourse and it irritates me ans TBIS IS MY ONLY OUTLETTTT

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tubbytarchia · 2 months

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